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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[distant waves]
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00:00:48,958 --> 00:00:50,125
[electricity pylon buzzing]
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[electrical buzz]
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[Naoki] When I was small,
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I didn't even know
that I was a kid
with 'special needs'.
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How did I find out?
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00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:00,541
By other people telling me
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that I was different
from everyone else.
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And that this was a problem.
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[boy makes sounds]
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True enough...
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it was very hard for me
to act like most other people.
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00:02:16,666 --> 00:02:20,541
And even now, I still can't do
a 'real' conversation.
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From your point of view,
the world of autism
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00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:30,125
must look like
a deeply mysterious place.
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So my big hope is that
by writing this book,
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I can help to explain
in my own way,
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00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,125
what goes on in my mind.
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[low electrical hum]
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[Naoki] Can you imagine
how your life would be
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00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:03,458
if you couldn't say
what you wanted?
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00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,958
[light buzzing]
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00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:09,333
They're turned off.
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00:03:12,666 --> 00:03:14,916
The fountains are off in Greece.
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00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:16,625
The fountains are off in Greece.
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00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:23,708
Hi, all the fountains are off
in Greece.
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[man] Are they?
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00:03:25,166 --> 00:03:26,916
All the fountains are off
in Greece.
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[man] Okay.
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00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:32,166
Those fountains are off
in Greece.
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[loud traffic]
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-[game beeps]
-[Emma makes sounds]
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[Emma makes sounds]
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[game beeping]
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00:03:52,708 --> 00:03:55,083
-No more.
-[game beeping]
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[murmurs]
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00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:59,416
[Naoki] Every time
I do something
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00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:01,625
that other people wouldn't,
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00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:03,791
it must make you wonder why.
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00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,333
[Ben makes T and S sounds]
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00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:10,041
[Jestina laughs]
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00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,625
[Naoki] But don't judge me
from the outside only.
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00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:17,083
Spare a little time to listen
to what I have to say
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00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:19,208
and have a nice trip
through our world.
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[horn beeping]
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[wind chimes chiming]
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[fan blades reverberate]
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00:05:04,916 --> 00:05:06,166
[fan blades
continue reverberating]
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[Aarti] Amrit picks up on things
which people usually do not.
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00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,708
That was kind of a revelation.
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00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:41,833
For a very long time
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she had so much anger in her
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but there was no way that she
could tell us about it.
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00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:54,000
She must've had some bullying
moments in school.
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She was wanting
to make friends
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but others did not know
how to be friendly with her.
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00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:06,625
She would scream for hours,
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00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:09,041
and then she would cry
and I would cry
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00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:10,416
and-- not knowing what to do.
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That was the time
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when she used to really rub
the crayon
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on one particular spot
until the paper would tear
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and there were impressions
on her desk.
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But within that,
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there was such a strong message
for others.
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00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:40,041
And I realized that it wasn't
just art that she was doing.
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00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:43,375
She was actually giving me
the routine of her day
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00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:45,000
and what all was happening.
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So, she would draw
what she was eating,
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she would draw other students
around her,
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she would draw the landscape.
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And that is how
the journey began.
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[music swells]
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00:07:25,708 --> 00:07:28,041
[Naoki] So how do I see
the world?
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00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:34,500
You may be looking
at the exact same thing as me,
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00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:37,541
but how I perceive it
appears to be different.
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00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:42,791
When you see an object
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00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:46,875
it seems you see it
as an entire thing first
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and only afterwards
do its details follow on.
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But for me, the details
jump straight out first of all,
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00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:03,708
and then gradually,
detail by detail,
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the whole image floats up
into focus.
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[curtain flaps]
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[rain splashing]
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[exaggerated metallic
rain-like sounds]
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[Naoki] My eyes are captured
by lines and surfaces.
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00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:51,125
Just to get a grip on things,
I have to scan my memory
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to find an experience closest
to what's happening now.
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00:08:54,708 --> 00:09:01,541
[Drop-like sounds,
reminiscent of rain]
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00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:08,666
[street sounds resume]
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00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,083
[David] The chaos of the world
has to be
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00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,750
turned into some kind
of coherent order,
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00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,833
almost by hand,
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00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:24,750
inside an autistic mind
I think-- I don't have one
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00:09:24,791 --> 00:09:27,541
so I can't be sure but this book
helps me understand a bit.
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00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:32,125
[David] Naoki Higashida wrote
'The Reason I Jump'
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00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:35,083
when he was thirteen years old.
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00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:37,958
And like my son, he was
autistic and didn't speak.
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00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:44,875
It's like cartography.
He makes a map of his mind.
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00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:51,291
There's an example where Naoki
talks about the steps
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00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,500
that he has to go through
to understand
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00:09:53,541 --> 00:09:55,541
that it is raining.
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00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:59,083
And it would never occur
to you if you're neurotypical,
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00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:04,000
that you have to flip through
this mental card index,
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00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:07,208
connecting the sound,
previous memories
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00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:10,166
with the word 'rain' to work
out what's happening now.
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00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:12,916
You just know it's raining.
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00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:15,833
[rain falling]
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00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,833
[Jes makes sudden sound]
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00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:32,875
[David] The world that Naoki
describes is different.
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Chaotic, swirling,
raw and visceral.
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[Joss shouting]
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00:10:38,916 --> 00:10:41,208
[David]
It's emotionally very taxing.
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00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:43,083
Meltdowns can blow up
out of nowhere.
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00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:47,916
[Jes makes sounds of distress]
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[David] So that's where
my son's living.
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00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,375
And it's not easy.
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00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:57,666
[busy market sounds]
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00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,958
[sewing machine whirring]
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00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,208
[coat hangers clicking]
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00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,791
[reel spooling loudly]
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00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:16,375
[chickens clucking]
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00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:20,458
[gas hissing]
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00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:25,875
[sizzling]
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00:11:29,791 --> 00:11:31,958
[indistinct chatter]
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00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,958
[Aarti] She used
to have these obsessions.
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-[gasps and clicks tongue]
-[Aarti] Uh, my fear
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00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,583
was that it is socially
awkward.
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00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,916
And I-- I would try
and stop her from doing that.
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00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,625
But when I read Naoki's book,
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I realized what she must be
going through.
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00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,416
So, it's difficult. Yes...
I'm sorry.
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00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,208
[sniffs]
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00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:18,291
I've acted so strange
with my own child.
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00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:19,291
I don't know...
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00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:22,458
how I fit into a mother's role.
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00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,083
[Aarti sniffs]
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00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,708
[Aarti sighs]
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00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,958
[sighs]
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00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,458
I've tried to stop her
from being herself.
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00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,083
[kisses]
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00:12:45,791 --> 00:12:47,000
[chuckles]
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00:12:48,666 --> 00:12:49,750
[blows air]
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00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:50,750
[chuckles]
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00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:57,458
[kisses]
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00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:07,125
[gentle music playing]
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00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,958
[wet clay slapping]
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00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:22,666
[pottery wheel whirring]
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00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:47,416
[Naoki] Every single thing
has its own unique beauty.
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00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,625
[rickshaw engine whirring]
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00:13:49,666 --> 00:13:52,875
[Naoki] When a color is vivid
or a shape is eye-catching,
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00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:56,541
then my heart kind of
drowns in it.
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00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:59,250
I can't concentrate
on anything else.
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00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,833
A person who's looking
at a mountain far away
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00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:08,666
doesn't notice the prettiness
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00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:11,416
of the dandelion
in front of them.
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00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:13,291
[rickshaw continues vibrating]
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00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:25,416
[pencil scrapes on paper]
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00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:28,166
[distant rumble]
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00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:36,000
[Aarti]
There are certain sounds,
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00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:41,458
there are certain sights,
that are either painful
164
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:45,041
or they are very pleasant.
165
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:50,333
When she comes home,
she picks up a paper to...
166
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:53,625
to kind of put it there
for the world to know.
167
00:14:53,666 --> 00:14:55,708
[Amrit murmuring]
168
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:05,000
[hums in a high pitch]
169
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,708
[choir echoes]
170
00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:14,458
[humming continues]
171
00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:23,375
[choir echoes]
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00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,125
[hums]
173
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:32,041
[murmurs]
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00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
[humming]
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00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,750
[rickshaw engine whirring]
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00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:10,708
[mooing]
177
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,291
[car horn]
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00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:27,958
[barks]
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00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:36,833
[car horns]
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00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:39,666
[bubble wrap popping]
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00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,208
[piano music playing]
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00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:09,833
[Naoki] Not being able to talk
183
00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:11,375
means not being able to share
184
00:17:11,416 --> 00:17:13,416
what you're feeling
or thinking.
185
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:18,125
To live my life
as a human being,
186
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:19,833
nothing is more important
187
00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:21,750
than being able
to express myself.
188
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:36,166
[David] How can you be subject
to all this wild,
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00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,666
uncensored, sensory input
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00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:41,500
and then render that
into language?
191
00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:49,750
Naoki Higashida sort of
achieved the impossible.
192
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,916
A kid who could still remember
what it's like
193
00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:55,625
to be four or five years old.
194
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,458
It's kind of poetry.
195
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:03,250
It felt like our son
was talking to us.
196
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,875
It felt like when I was at--
197
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:07,000
at my most desperate,
198
00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:08,541
knowing I wouldn't get
an answer,
199
00:18:08,583 --> 00:18:11,000
but just saying,
"Why are you doing that?"
200
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,708
Uh...
201
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,333
Well, here's the answer.
202
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:20,000
My wife and I wanted the people
who work with our son
203
00:18:20,041 --> 00:18:21,958
to read it as well.
204
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,541
So, we started translating it.
205
00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:32,083
[David] The book felt like
an envoy from another world,
206
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,750
whose culture, whose rules,
207
00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:36,500
whose reasons
I didn't understand.
208
00:18:36,541 --> 00:18:38,083
[boy makes an "ah" sound]
209
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,791
[Naoki] My mind
210
00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:46,875
is forever swaying this way
and that.
211
00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:50,708
[Naoki] I never ever feel
at ease wherever I am.
212
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:59,291
As a child, I used to wander
off from home.
213
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,166
It wasn't because I wanted
to go out
214
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,333
for a special reason.
215
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:06,541
My body moved
because it was lured outside
216
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,833
by something there,
217
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:12,291
in search of somewhere
where I felt at ease.
218
00:19:23,416 --> 00:19:26,958
[swing screeching]
219
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:34,833
[Joss] Hi. Hi, Joss.
220
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,750
The lady is going to turn
the fans on.
221
00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:41,500
It's like a fan.
222
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:48,958
The fan-- The fan goes round
and round.
223
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:58,583
We're making a fan.
224
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,750
Make it--
make it spin fast!
225
00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:04,916
Make it spin fast.
226
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:08,375
-It's going round.
-[carer 1] It is going round.
227
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,333
-Joss going high.
-[carer 1 chuckling]
228
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,875
[Joss] High!
229
00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:12,916
[carer 1] High, Joss.
230
00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:17,916
Joss... because it's raining...
231
00:20:17,958 --> 00:20:19,750
[the sound becomes muffled
as Joss covers his ears]
232
00:20:19,791 --> 00:20:21,625
-Good lad.
-Good lad, well done.
233
00:20:21,666 --> 00:20:24,708
- I am a good lad.
- Joss, Joss we're gonna take
the sausage and chips
234
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,125
back to Bradstow, okay?
235
00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:30,250
[Joss laughing]
236
00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:31,666
[normal sound resumes
as he removes hands from ears]
237
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:33,500
[carer 1 chuckles] Come on.
238
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,625
-[Joss] We're at big school.
-[carer 1] We are at big school.
239
00:20:38,291 --> 00:20:40,125
[gurgling water]
240
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:46,458
[cello music playing]
241
00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:50,083
[seagulls squawking]
242
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,416
[sound becomes muffled
as Joss covers his ears]
243
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,083
Is the umbrella hot?
244
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:57,250
[Naoki] As soon as
I try to speak with someone,
245
00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,125
my words just vanish.
246
00:21:03,916 --> 00:21:07,125
There is a gap
between what I'm thinking
247
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,500
and what I'm saying.
248
00:21:08,541 --> 00:21:10,333
Mummy got me two milkshakes.
249
00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:12,750
[carer 1] Mummy did get you
two milkshakes.
250
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:14,208
[Naoki] It's like a reflex...
251
00:21:15,625 --> 00:21:17,541
[Joss shouts]
252
00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:21,041
...reacting to what I've
just seen in some cases...
253
00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:22,916
or to some old memories.
254
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:30,500
As if I'm drowning
in a flood of words.
255
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:32,500
The cover is like
a black hoover.
256
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,166
-[carer 1] It's like a--
-[Joss] Red?
257
00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:36,291
[Joss] This cover is like
a black hoover.
258
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:37,458
[carer 2] It's like
a red hoover.
259
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:38,875
It's like a black hoover.
260
00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:41,041
[carer 2] Oh,
it's like a black one.
261
00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:42,875
[Joss] This cover is
like a red hoover.
[carer 2] I think it's like
a black hoover.
262
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,250
[Joss] Its cover is like
a black hoover.
263
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:45,708
[carer 2] It is.
264
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,208
[Naoki] The big exception
is words or phrases
265
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,916
I'm familiar with,
266
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:52,208
like playing a game
of catch with a ball.
267
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:53,708
-[Joss] Papa!
-[carer 1] Papa.
268
00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:57,541
[laughs] Papa, Papa!
269
00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:58,708
[dog barks]
270
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:01,708
[dog barks]
271
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,791
[carer 1] Do you want to wait
for the doggy to go?
272
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:09,125
Joss, the dog's gone now,
we're gonna keep walking
273
00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:11,000
to the cafe, okay?
274
00:22:11,041 --> 00:22:12,708
Good lad, well done.
275
00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:16,166
-[distant dog barks]
-[threatening drone sound]
276
00:22:21,208 --> 00:22:24,125
[distant dogs barking]
277
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:30,541
[Stevie]
Joss can see everything,
278
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,958
and he can hear everything.
279
00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:36,541
[nostalgic music playing]
280
00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:38,500
When Joss was little,
281
00:22:38,541 --> 00:22:41,250
his sensory world
was entirely a positive thing.
282
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,416
Everything related back
to water and light,
283
00:22:50,458 --> 00:22:53,041
so we provided as much water
and light as we could.
284
00:22:53,083 --> 00:22:54,708
[rush of water]
285
00:22:57,708 --> 00:22:58,625
[Jeremy] What can you see?
286
00:23:02,291 --> 00:23:03,375
What can you see, Joss?
287
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:07,250
One of the things
I would love to be
288
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:10,250
is just inside his head.
289
00:23:10,291 --> 00:23:13,500
Just-- just for ten seconds
to understand,
290
00:23:13,541 --> 00:23:15,916
how he sees the world.
291
00:23:15,958 --> 00:23:17,541
[indistinct whispering]
Let's go.
292
00:23:19,083 --> 00:23:20,500
It's making a noise.
293
00:23:20,541 --> 00:23:22,000
[Joss] The green box
is making a noise.
294
00:23:22,041 --> 00:23:23,541
[Jeremy] The green box
is making a noise.
295
00:23:26,166 --> 00:23:29,166
[low humming]
296
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,583
[Joss] Shall we get in?
297
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:40,166
You cannot get--
No, you cannot get in, no.
298
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:43,750
Green box is like music.
299
00:23:43,791 --> 00:23:45,583
Green box is like music.
300
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,708
[humming noise continues]
301
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,916
-[electricity box hums]
-[Georgian choir humming]
302
00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:11,500
Is it like a black hoover?
303
00:24:11,541 --> 00:24:15,041
No, it's like a red hoover.
Sounds like a red hoover.
304
00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:16,458
Does it sound like
a black hoover?
305
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,208
Does it sound like
a black hoover?
306
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,500
No, it sounds like a red hoover.
307
00:24:24,458 --> 00:24:25,458
[Jeremy] Want to go now?
308
00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:36,416
[electricity box fizzes]
309
00:24:36,458 --> 00:24:38,666
[Stevie] Green boxes have become
a massive part of our life
310
00:24:38,708 --> 00:24:41,833
because we realize
that Joss can hear them
311
00:24:41,875 --> 00:24:43,625
from a long, long,
long way away.
312
00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:47,833
[electricity box humming]
313
00:24:50,333 --> 00:24:53,250
[electricity box humming]
314
00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:59,666
[choir humming grows louder]
315
00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:15,375
[loud static
and choir grows louder still]
316
00:25:29,916 --> 00:25:31,333
[music and static abruptly cuts]
317
00:25:31,375 --> 00:25:33,416
[sound of pen scribbling]
318
00:25:40,291 --> 00:25:42,083
-We need to get pizza.
-[Stevie] We're gonna go--
319
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:43,583
Daddy's driving
to get the pizza now.
320
00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:02,333
[sound of running water]
321
00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:04,625
[loud sprinkler sound]
322
00:26:07,291 --> 00:26:09,291
We had a sprinkler
at Number Eighty.
323
00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:12,500
We did have a sprinkler.
Mummy used to--
324
00:26:12,541 --> 00:26:13,708
"You're not having
a sprinkler tonight"
325
00:26:13,750 --> 00:26:15,375
at Number Eighty.
326
00:26:15,416 --> 00:26:17,000
[Stevie chuckles] Is that what--
Did Mummy say that?
327
00:26:17,916 --> 00:26:19,416
Did Mummy say that?
328
00:26:19,458 --> 00:26:21,958
No! Mummy always let you
have the sprinkler on!
329
00:26:27,291 --> 00:26:29,083
[Joss squeals with happiness]
330
00:26:29,125 --> 00:26:30,916
[Jeremy] Number Eighty
was the number of a house
331
00:26:30,958 --> 00:26:33,208
we used to live in.
332
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:35,166
Joss is remembering
the things that happened
333
00:26:35,208 --> 00:26:39,458
in that garden when he was
about three or four years old.
334
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:41,500
[Jeremy] Specific events.
335
00:26:41,541 --> 00:26:43,291
-[Joss] Number Eighty.
-[Jeremy] Number Eighty.
336
00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:47,958
To him, they are just
as real as something
337
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,583
that's happened
half an hour ago.
338
00:26:50,625 --> 00:26:52,250
I think the earliest
we've had is when he was
339
00:26:52,291 --> 00:26:53,916
just before his second
birthday.
340
00:26:58,208 --> 00:27:01,166
Like some kind of,
um, slideshow,
341
00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:02,833
an out of control slideshow.
342
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,000
[Naoki]
Time is a continuous thing
343
00:27:15,041 --> 00:27:16,625
with no clear boundaries,
344
00:27:18,125 --> 00:27:20,416
which is why it's so confusing.
345
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,500
Inside my head,
346
00:27:24,541 --> 00:27:26,250
there isn't really
such a big difference
347
00:27:26,291 --> 00:27:29,291
between what I was told
just now,
348
00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:32,208
and what I heard a long,
long time ago.
349
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:38,666
I imagine
other people's memories
350
00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:41,500
are arranged continuously
like a line.
351
00:27:44,083 --> 00:27:48,625
My memory
is more like a pool of dots.
352
00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:50,333
Memories are all scattershot
353
00:27:50,375 --> 00:27:52,541
and never connected
in the right order.
354
00:27:52,583 --> 00:27:54,083
[rushing sprinkler sound]
355
00:27:54,125 --> 00:27:56,041
[children laughing]
356
00:27:56,083 --> 00:27:58,166
[Joss] Mummy did turn the
sprinkler on at Number Eighty.
357
00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,541
[squeals]
358
00:27:59,583 --> 00:28:04,375
[Stevie sings
"Away in a Manger"]
359
00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:12,208
[Naoki] The trouble
with scattered memories
360
00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:14,375
is that sometimes
they replay themselves
361
00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:17,791
in my head as if they've
only just taken place...
362
00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:20,125
and the emotions
I felt originally
363
00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:23,500
come rushing back to me
like a sudden storm.
364
00:28:27,750 --> 00:28:28,958
Daddy can't get the pizza.
365
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,541
[Stevie]
Daddy is getting pizza,
366
00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:32,958
and Daddy's getting
more dough balls now.
367
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,375
Two minutes for pizza.
368
00:28:34,416 --> 00:28:35,583
Can you wait with Mummy please,
darling?
369
00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:37,250
[Joss] There's no more pizza!
370
00:28:37,291 --> 00:28:39,083
[Stevie] No, no,
the pizza is coming.
371
00:28:39,125 --> 00:28:41,583
-Daddy is bringing the pizza
-[Joss] There's no pizza today!
372
00:28:41,625 --> 00:28:43,375
[Stevie] Don't panic,
there's gonna be a pizza.
373
00:28:43,416 --> 00:28:44,583
-[Joss roars]
-[Stevie] Don't hurt me please.
374
00:28:44,625 --> 00:28:45,541
Don't hurt me.
375
00:28:45,583 --> 00:28:47,125
[Joss] There's no more.
376
00:28:47,166 --> 00:28:49,000
-Oh, no!
-[Stevie] Don't panic.
377
00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:53,500
There's no pizza!
378
00:28:53,541 --> 00:28:54,708
-Daddy's gone to get one?
-Please, honey.
379
00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:55,708
Daddy's gone to get one.
380
00:29:05,958 --> 00:29:09,000
[Naoki] Exactly what
the next moment has in store
381
00:29:09,041 --> 00:29:12,333
never stops
being a big, big worry.
382
00:29:24,250 --> 00:29:26,041
[Stevie] It's pizza,
it's Joss' pizza!
383
00:29:26,083 --> 00:29:27,625
[Jeremy]
I brought you some pizza!
384
00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:29,333
Here!
385
00:29:29,375 --> 00:29:31,833
[Stevie] Daddy! You brought
the pizza. Thank you!
386
00:29:31,875 --> 00:29:33,791
[Jeremy] Fucking Pizza Express.
387
00:29:35,958 --> 00:29:39,416
-[scribbling]
-[the sounds of a storm]
388
00:29:54,541 --> 00:29:56,291
[Stevie] As he's hit puberty,
389
00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:58,666
his relationship
with that sensory world
390
00:29:58,708 --> 00:29:59,791
has changed.
391
00:30:01,875 --> 00:30:03,541
His anxiety is just huge.
392
00:30:05,416 --> 00:30:07,250
[scribbling]
393
00:30:18,791 --> 00:30:20,708
[Joss breathing heavily]
394
00:30:25,416 --> 00:30:28,416
[Naoki] There are times
when I can't act,
395
00:30:28,458 --> 00:30:31,291
even though
I really badly want to.
396
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,458
[breathing loudly]
397
00:30:40,583 --> 00:30:43,416
[breathes loudly]
398
00:30:47,958 --> 00:30:51,000
[Naoki] It's as if my whole body
belongs to someone else.
399
00:30:53,458 --> 00:30:56,708
As if I'm remote-controlling
a faulty robot.
400
00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:58,625
[scribbling]
401
00:31:10,041 --> 00:31:14,125
[Joss roaring]
402
00:31:15,958 --> 00:31:17,666
[Jeremy] Get up.
403
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,666
[Jeremy] Daddy loves you.
Daddy loves you.
404
00:31:23,708 --> 00:31:25,541
-[Jeremy] Joss!
-[Joss roaring]
405
00:31:25,583 --> 00:31:27,291
-[Jeremy] Stop!
-[Joss roaring]
406
00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:32,333
-[Jeremy] Joss, stop! Stop!
-[thudding]
407
00:31:32,375 --> 00:31:34,958
[Joss roaring]
408
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,083
[Stevie] Stop hurting Daddy.
409
00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:38,541
-[Joss roaring]
-[door closes]
410
00:31:40,291 --> 00:31:42,875
[Joss roaring]
411
00:31:47,291 --> 00:31:49,208
[Naoki] It's a feeling
of helplessness
412
00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:52,208
which brings on a panic attack
or a meltdown.
413
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:54,791
Even when I make
a tiny mistake,
414
00:31:54,833 --> 00:31:57,625
the fact of it starts rushing
towards me like a tsunami.
415
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,541
To get away, I'll do anything.
416
00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,583
And afterwards,
417
00:32:06,625 --> 00:32:09,375
when I see the wreckage
I've made, I hate myself.
418
00:32:11,375 --> 00:32:12,833
I just hate myself.
419
00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:21,500
-[Joss] Hello.
-[Stevie] Hello.
420
00:32:21,541 --> 00:32:23,583
-[Joss] Let's go?
-[Stevie] Let's go!
421
00:32:29,083 --> 00:32:32,166
We had this kind of horrible,
hellish few months
422
00:32:32,208 --> 00:32:35,625
where his aggression
got worse and worse.
423
00:32:35,666 --> 00:32:38,208
From there on in,
something had just changed.
424
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,375
[high winds blowing]
425
00:32:51,375 --> 00:32:53,291
[Stevie] He was expelled
from the school he was in...
426
00:32:54,416 --> 00:32:56,166
and we found a school
427
00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:58,958
that could take and cope
with children
428
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,708
with really
challenging behavior.
429
00:33:05,166 --> 00:33:06,458
[Stevie]
And so we took him there,
430
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,041
and we had to leave him there.
431
00:33:11,875 --> 00:33:13,708
He comes home a lot...
432
00:33:13,750 --> 00:33:16,625
but that decision to send him
to a residential school
433
00:33:16,666 --> 00:33:18,916
was the most painful
we've ever had to make.
434
00:33:35,791 --> 00:33:37,708
[birds chirping]
435
00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,958
They need to get
some more bubbles from the shop.
436
00:34:07,208 --> 00:34:10,666
[trampoline springs squeak]
437
00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:18,333
[trampoline instructor]
Right, Joss,
438
00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:21,291
shall we see
what we've got today, yeah?
439
00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:24,500
Can we reach our hands
really nice and tall?
440
00:34:24,541 --> 00:34:25,875
Beautiful!
441
00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:35,708
[Naoki] What is the reason
I jump?
442
00:34:39,083 --> 00:34:44,291
I react physically to feelings
of sadness and happiness.
443
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:48,083
So, when something happens
that affects me emotionally,
444
00:34:48,125 --> 00:34:51,583
my body seizes up
as if struck by lightning.
445
00:34:57,625 --> 00:35:00,250
But when I'm jumping,
446
00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:02,583
it's as if I'm shaking loose
the ropes
447
00:35:02,625 --> 00:35:04,916
that are tying me down...
448
00:35:04,958 --> 00:35:08,041
as if my feelings
are going upwards to the sky.
449
00:35:15,375 --> 00:35:18,625
If only I could just
flap my wings and fly off
450
00:35:18,666 --> 00:35:19,958
to some faraway place.
451
00:35:23,375 --> 00:35:26,875
[loudly rustling grasses]
452
00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,041
[David] 'The Reason I Jump'
turned on its head
453
00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:30,916
many of the things
that we all think
454
00:35:30,958 --> 00:35:32,583
we know about autism.
455
00:35:32,625 --> 00:35:35,541
That people with autism
don't do emotions,
456
00:35:35,583 --> 00:35:39,958
uh, that they have
no imaginative intelligence.
457
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,125
Naoki couldn't possibly
have written it,
458
00:35:42,166 --> 00:35:43,375
were these things true.
459
00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,125
And autistic people
who can write like Naoki does
460
00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:51,375
are in a bit of a double bind.
461
00:35:51,416 --> 00:35:54,583
Some people will not believe
that they have written the book,
462
00:35:54,625 --> 00:35:58,375
uh, or some people believe
they have written the book
463
00:35:58,416 --> 00:36:00,750
but, therefore, can't be--
can't possibly be
464
00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:03,500
properly autistic.
Only a little bit autistic.
465
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:09,333
[coach] Nine, ten, over here,
and I've got three over here.
466
00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:12,291
[boy]
Move to the other side, please.
467
00:36:15,083 --> 00:36:17,958
[Bertra] So, you're not late,
you're totally on time, Ben.
468
00:36:19,083 --> 00:36:22,791
[Ben makes repetitive sounds]
469
00:36:24,291 --> 00:36:26,583
-I'll see you--
-See you on the ice!
470
00:36:26,625 --> 00:36:33,375
[Ben makes repetitive sounds]
471
00:36:33,416 --> 00:36:34,708
[man] We've been waiting
for you!
472
00:36:37,291 --> 00:36:43,416
-[Ben's sounds get faster]
-[music plays]
473
00:36:45,583 --> 00:36:48,833
[hockey sticks
and skates clacking]
474
00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:54,541
-[Emma] Mm-hmm.
-[Donna] Yep. Let's do it!
475
00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:14,666
[coach] Ben, go! Move in. Yay!
476
00:37:14,708 --> 00:37:16,875
[Emma] Awesome! Awesome!
477
00:37:16,916 --> 00:37:18,541
Alright, yeah!
478
00:37:27,875 --> 00:37:31,458
[sounds of ice rink fade out]
479
00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:44,666
[sound of a ceiling fan
fades in]
480
00:37:53,208 --> 00:37:55,500
[Naoki] " Ah,
don't worry about him,
481
00:37:55,541 --> 00:37:57,583
he'd rather be on his own."
482
00:37:57,625 --> 00:38:00,000
How many times
have I heard this?
483
00:38:00,041 --> 00:38:04,375
The truth is, I'd love to be
with other people.
484
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:07,333
I can't believe that anyone
born as a human being
485
00:38:07,375 --> 00:38:09,166
really wants
to be left on their own.
486
00:38:10,916 --> 00:38:12,458
[Bertra] When people don't talk,
487
00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,083
you assume
they're not understanding you.
488
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,541
And then they assume
489
00:38:15,583 --> 00:38:16,750
that it's
a cognitive impairment.
490
00:38:18,583 --> 00:38:20,041
Ben is twenty-three.
491
00:38:20,083 --> 00:38:22,875
E.V. started working
with Ben when he was
492
00:38:22,916 --> 00:38:24,333
seven, E.V. baby?
493
00:38:24,375 --> 00:38:25,791
[Elizabeth in other room]
Seven or eight.
494
00:38:25,833 --> 00:38:29,916
And, um... at the time,
Ben had, what,
495
00:38:29,958 --> 00:38:33,833
an attention span of what,
about two minutes maybe?
496
00:38:33,875 --> 00:38:36,416
[Bertra's voice in next room]
He was just all over the place,
497
00:38:36,458 --> 00:38:39,666
and we're trying to do
speech therapy with this kid.
498
00:38:42,416 --> 00:38:45,041
And finally, when Ben turned
I think sixteen, we said,
499
00:38:45,083 --> 00:38:46,583
"You know what E.V.?
500
00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:48,541
Speech therapy is not
what he needs."
501
00:38:48,583 --> 00:38:50,500
And E.V.,
bless her heart, said,
502
00:38:50,541 --> 00:38:52,125
"Let me try one more thing."
503
00:38:53,666 --> 00:38:55,333
Ready?
504
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:56,625
[makes S sound for each letter]
505
00:39:05,375 --> 00:39:09,208
-"I never..."
-[Ben continues making S sounds]
506
00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:11,375
[Elizabeth] "I never..."
Go, look at it.
507
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:15,875
Look at it.
508
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:20,916
-"I never dreamed..."
-[continues making S sounds]
509
00:39:24,833 --> 00:39:27,375
"...this..." Get it.
510
00:39:28,916 --> 00:39:30,125
"...this was..."
511
00:39:33,166 --> 00:39:34,833
Get it. Get it.
512
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:38,500
Get it.
513
00:39:38,541 --> 00:39:42,166
Good. Get it.
Look for the letter.
514
00:39:42,208 --> 00:39:45,291
"I never dreamed this was
P-O-S-S-I-B...
515
00:39:47,291 --> 00:39:48,958
...L-E."
516
00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:58,791
[Elizabeth] When I first saw
kids spelling,
517
00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:01,250
that was it for me.
518
00:40:01,291 --> 00:40:04,666
Many people who are autistic
their brain knows what to do
519
00:40:04,708 --> 00:40:07,083
but they can't get it
to their body.
520
00:40:07,125 --> 00:40:09,750
And it made so much sense
looking at it
521
00:40:09,791 --> 00:40:12,583
from more of a motor skills
standpoint.
522
00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:14,875
Because speech is motor.
523
00:40:14,916 --> 00:40:17,333
Taking language
out of the fine motor
524
00:40:17,375 --> 00:40:19,541
of the speech, putting it
into the gross motor
525
00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:22,583
of the arm to point
made a lot of sense.
526
00:40:22,625 --> 00:40:24,333
-[Ben makes S sounds]
-A...
527
00:40:25,208 --> 00:40:26,541
Look at it.
528
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,500
Get it.
529
00:40:30,541 --> 00:40:35,833
-[music plays]
-T, and it, W, go, O, go, R, go,
530
00:40:36,708 --> 00:40:39,708
K, go, E and D.
531
00:40:47,666 --> 00:40:52,625
[Elizabeth] If non-speakers
are capable of spelling
532
00:40:52,666 --> 00:40:55,083
and are capable of
intelligence,
533
00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:56,916
that really shakes
the foundation
534
00:40:56,958 --> 00:40:59,458
of a lot of things
that we've believed.
535
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:03,666
[tutor] Okay. "There was once
a time I had nothing..."
536
00:41:03,708 --> 00:41:05,500
You've gotta finish that,
that's kind of sad.
537
00:41:13,958 --> 00:41:17,833
[Emma] E-V-E-R-Y
538
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:24,291
Everything!
Everything!
539
00:41:28,375 --> 00:41:29,500
I'm done!
540
00:41:29,541 --> 00:41:31,833
[music plays]
541
00:41:35,458 --> 00:41:38,208
[Naoki] Perhaps you're thinking
that it's no major effort
542
00:41:38,250 --> 00:41:40,416
for me to write
these sentences,
543
00:41:40,458 --> 00:41:42,916
but that isn't true at all.
544
00:41:42,958 --> 00:41:45,500
When I learned to use
the letter board,
545
00:41:45,541 --> 00:41:47,708
it let me anchor my words,
546
00:41:47,750 --> 00:41:50,333
words that would otherwise
flutter off
547
00:41:50,375 --> 00:41:54,125
as soon as I was able
to speak them.
548
00:41:54,166 --> 00:41:57,041
[Bertra] Can you imagine
the frustration...
549
00:41:57,083 --> 00:42:01,375
being autistic and non-verbal
and you hear everything
550
00:42:01,416 --> 00:42:02,916
and you see everything
and you feel everything
551
00:42:02,958 --> 00:42:05,291
but you can't respond?
552
00:42:05,333 --> 00:42:07,916
When you think about it
that explains the anger,
553
00:42:07,958 --> 00:42:09,875
it explains the... [sighs]
554
00:42:09,916 --> 00:42:12,708
...you know, the violence,
the aggression.
555
00:42:12,750 --> 00:42:15,666
You-- you can't negotiate.
556
00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:19,458
To reach a point
where he is able to express,
557
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:24,000
has just been a huge blessing.
558
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:25,833
[game beeps]
559
00:42:25,875 --> 00:42:30,458
[Emma makes sounds]
560
00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:32,958
[Naoki] Please don't assume
that every word I speak
561
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,500
is what I intend to say.
562
00:42:35,541 --> 00:42:37,375
[Naoki] Making sounds
with your mouth
563
00:42:37,416 --> 00:42:39,291
isn't the same thing
as communication.
564
00:42:39,333 --> 00:42:42,291
Let's go home, please. No more.
565
00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:43,958
[Donna spells out the letters
as Emma points to them]
566
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,833
-Yeah!
-"We could finally..."
567
00:42:45,875 --> 00:42:47,458
[beeping continues]
568
00:43:00,916 --> 00:43:02,666
"We could finally
let each other..."
569
00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:04,416
No more. No more!
570
00:43:14,416 --> 00:43:15,791
-No more.
-"...how..."
571
00:43:18,958 --> 00:43:20,208
No, that's a...
572
00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:23,375
[music starts and stops]
573
00:43:23,416 --> 00:43:24,375
No more.
574
00:43:25,833 --> 00:43:29,291
"We could finally tell
each other how we felt."
575
00:43:29,333 --> 00:43:30,375
No more!
576
00:43:37,208 --> 00:43:40,375
[Emma plays music through phone,
then stops it]
577
00:43:43,291 --> 00:43:47,166
[electronic music starts
and stops]
578
00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:49,708
No more! No more.
579
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:58,208
[music starts and stops]
580
00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:02,958
[music plays, stops]
581
00:44:08,375 --> 00:44:09,416
[music plays, stops]
582
00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:22,916
[techno music plays]
583
00:44:22,958 --> 00:44:24,083
[Emma hums]
584
00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:30,708
[Emma hums]
585
00:44:31,708 --> 00:44:32,750
[music stops]
586
00:44:33,875 --> 00:44:35,958
[music starts and stops]
587
00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:45,125
[new techno song
plays through phone]
588
00:44:45,166 --> 00:44:46,583
[Ben sighs]
589
00:45:08,875 --> 00:45:12,958
[gentle music playing]
590
00:46:01,708 --> 00:46:03,583
[game beeping]
591
00:46:11,208 --> 00:46:13,875
[Donna] Our kids
were both in preschool,
592
00:46:13,916 --> 00:46:17,833
that's when our families
first met.
593
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:19,583
[Donna] It seemed like Emma
was in a lot of pain
594
00:46:19,625 --> 00:46:21,333
and she could scream at us
all day long.
595
00:46:21,375 --> 00:46:22,833
There weren't many people
596
00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:24,541
that you could invite
into your home
597
00:46:24,583 --> 00:46:27,666
but we could always invite
Ben's family.
598
00:46:27,708 --> 00:46:29,458
And they seemed happy
to be together,
599
00:46:29,500 --> 00:46:32,458
but there was no way really
to gauge
600
00:46:32,500 --> 00:46:34,291
what they felt about each
other.
601
00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:35,958
[woman 1] Remember when we all
were together in Seattle?
602
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,666
[all laugh]
-[man] How about that?
-[woman 2] Oh, man!
603
00:46:38,708 --> 00:46:40,208
Alright, to the oldest
604
00:46:40,250 --> 00:46:42,166
-and bestest friends...
-Cheers.
605
00:46:42,208 --> 00:46:43,500
-[man] Cheers.
-[woman] Come what may.
606
00:46:43,541 --> 00:46:45,125
[Bertra] Come what may.
607
00:46:46,291 --> 00:46:47,375
[Donna] Cheers, Emma, cheers.
608
00:46:47,416 --> 00:46:48,791
Emma can you--
609
00:46:48,833 --> 00:46:50,250
Open the present,
open the present.
610
00:46:50,291 --> 00:46:51,916
[Donna] Emma, can you do cheers
with Ben?
611
00:46:51,958 --> 00:46:53,250
-Open the present.
-[Ben makes vibrating sounds]
612
00:46:53,291 --> 00:46:54,333
[Donna]
Can you do cheers with Emma?
613
00:46:54,375 --> 00:46:55,833
Oh, uh, uh, walk to Target.
614
00:46:55,875 --> 00:46:58,208
After we walk to Target.
Can you cheers with Ben?
615
00:46:58,250 --> 00:46:59,541
Go like this.
Ben's waiting for you.
616
00:46:59,583 --> 00:47:01,166
-Hold your cup.
-Emma's going to Hawaii,
617
00:47:01,208 --> 00:47:03,666
-Emma's going to Hawaii!
-There you go, cheers!
618
00:47:03,708 --> 00:47:04,750
Emma's going to Hawaii.
619
00:47:04,791 --> 00:47:06,416
[Donna] Emma is going to Hawaii.
620
00:47:06,458 --> 00:47:09,666
[Naoki] You talk at an
incredible speed.
621
00:47:09,708 --> 00:47:12,125
Between thinking something
in your head
622
00:47:12,166 --> 00:47:15,333
and saying it, takes you
just a split second.
623
00:47:15,375 --> 00:47:17,291
-Uh, Emma's going Target.
-[Naoki] To me,
624
00:47:17,333 --> 00:47:19,833
-that's like magic.
-Target.
625
00:47:19,875 --> 00:47:22,625
[Naoki] I have to speak
in an unknown foreign language
626
00:47:22,666 --> 00:47:26,125
every minute of every day.
627
00:47:26,166 --> 00:47:28,458
[Bertra] Before they actually
started communicating
628
00:47:28,500 --> 00:47:30,958
using the letter board,
we put words in their mouths
629
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,833
-all the time.
-[woman] Yeah, exactly.
630
00:47:32,875 --> 00:47:36,833
You know, just to, kind of,
fill up the-- the-- the void.
631
00:47:36,875 --> 00:47:38,583
We would say,
"Hey, Ben, dadada."
632
00:47:38,625 --> 00:47:40,291
And then someone else says,
"Well, Ben says dadada."
633
00:47:40,333 --> 00:47:43,583
And then, of course,
you fast forward fifteen years
634
00:47:43,625 --> 00:47:48,041
and you realize that they--
they have been friends
635
00:47:48,083 --> 00:47:50,916
for so long.
That's what makes this unique.
636
00:47:50,958 --> 00:47:55,041
How do you establish and sustain
and nurture a friendship...
637
00:47:55,083 --> 00:47:57,375
for twenty years
638
00:47:57,416 --> 00:47:59,666
with no spoken language?
639
00:47:59,708 --> 00:48:02,291
-[man 2] Yeah.
-[Emma exclaims]
640
00:48:02,333 --> 00:48:04,625
[Ben makes high pitched sounds]
641
00:48:10,333 --> 00:48:13,208
[Ben makes "S" sounds]
642
00:48:17,291 --> 00:48:18,291
Walk to Target.
643
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,291
Emma's going to Hawaii.
644
00:48:33,875 --> 00:48:35,875
[Emma stops and starts
techno music on her phone]
645
00:48:48,916 --> 00:48:50,333
[music stops]
646
00:49:09,166 --> 00:49:12,500
Alright, this is the homework
that is due on Tuesday...
647
00:49:12,541 --> 00:49:14,208
[Ben responds affirmatively]
648
00:49:14,250 --> 00:49:17,208
-...um, about Argentina.
-[Ben talks indistinctly]
649
00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:21,166
[Donna] Intro to Argentina,
650
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:23,291
Argentina
is the second largest country
651
00:49:23,333 --> 00:49:26,541
in South America,
eighth largest in the world,
652
00:49:26,583 --> 00:49:28,708
today it is seen as a democracy.
653
00:49:28,750 --> 00:49:31,416
Okay, we talked
about a few famous Argentinians,
654
00:49:31,458 --> 00:49:33,666
we talked about that in class
the other day.
655
00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:36,041
-Um...
-[Ben makes a low hum]
656
00:49:36,083 --> 00:49:37,083
Emma, do you remember...
657
00:49:38,291 --> 00:49:39,291
who we talked about?
658
00:49:42,791 --> 00:49:45,916
[Donna spells out the letters
Emma points to]
659
00:49:49,458 --> 00:49:50,833
Peron. And do you remember
there was something
660
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:54,208
very unique about...
661
00:49:54,250 --> 00:49:56,791
Peron, there was something
very unique about him,
662
00:49:56,833 --> 00:49:59,458
because after he died
663
00:49:59,500 --> 00:50:02,250
who was-- who replaced him?
664
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:03,416
-Touch it.
-[Ben sounds out "S" and "T"]
665
00:50:09,250 --> 00:50:11,041
His wife.
666
00:50:11,083 --> 00:50:14,583
-They made a movie about her.
-[Emma calls out.]
667
00:50:14,625 --> 00:50:16,375
Yeah, Em, we're gonna have lunch
in a little bit.
668
00:50:16,416 --> 00:50:17,916
-[Emma] Oh.
-[Donna] After we do
669
00:50:17,958 --> 00:50:19,125
our homework.
We're going to do our homework,
670
00:50:19,166 --> 00:50:20,500
then we're gonna take a walk,
671
00:50:20,541 --> 00:50:22,208
and then we're gonna
eat our lunch.
672
00:50:22,250 --> 00:50:28,125
Do you guys remember who Peron
admired during the war.
673
00:50:28,166 --> 00:50:30,500
-Do you remember who that was?
-[Ben responds affirmatively]
674
00:50:30,541 --> 00:50:32,125
We talked about this
the other day in class.
675
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:46,875
Mussolini, that is correct.
676
00:50:49,666 --> 00:50:52,083
They've never been able
to do this before.
677
00:50:52,125 --> 00:50:53,541
I mean this is
678
00:50:53,583 --> 00:50:55,458
the first time
they've ever had any access
679
00:50:55,500 --> 00:50:56,791
to curriculum.
680
00:50:56,833 --> 00:51:00,583
Emma, what was education
like before?
681
00:51:00,625 --> 00:51:01,875
You had these classes to go to?
682
00:51:02,791 --> 00:51:05,083
-T...
-T...
683
00:51:05,125 --> 00:51:08,500
[Donna spells out the letters
as Emma points to them]
684
00:51:20,083 --> 00:51:22,500
[Emma shouts]
685
00:51:22,541 --> 00:51:24,500
[Donna spells out the letters
as Emma points to them]
686
00:51:24,541 --> 00:51:25,750
"They wasted time."
687
00:51:28,708 --> 00:51:30,458
Okay, Ben. How do you feel?
688
00:51:37,708 --> 00:51:38,958
"They"...
689
00:52:11,333 --> 00:52:12,916
"They have denied
our civil rights."
690
00:52:12,958 --> 00:52:15,541
[Emma] I'm sorry, Mommy.
Sorry, Mommy.
691
00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:17,583
Yeah, I'm sorry.
692
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:37,916
[Naoki] I used to wonder
why nonspeaking me
693
00:52:37,958 --> 00:52:39,083
had ever been born.
694
00:52:44,500 --> 00:52:46,750
Autistic people have no
freedom.
695
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:50,375
We need a place to belong.
696
00:52:52,541 --> 00:52:57,083
This world is our world...
there is no other.
697
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,416
[Jestina laughing happily]
698
00:53:45,333 --> 00:53:47,458
[music plays]
699
00:53:57,208 --> 00:53:58,833
[waves crashing]
700
00:53:58,875 --> 00:54:01,916
[sound of fingernails
scraping sand from hands]
701
00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:18,166
[Roland] Jestina, she taught me
how to be a father.
702
00:54:18,208 --> 00:54:19,708
[Roland patting hands]
703
00:54:19,750 --> 00:54:21,791
The type of love
we've got from her
704
00:54:21,833 --> 00:54:25,250
just changes your whole
perspective on life.
705
00:54:25,291 --> 00:54:26,500
[hands patting]
706
00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:37,791
-[Jestina humming]
-[Roland] Hmm.
707
00:54:37,833 --> 00:54:39,458
[humming continues]
708
00:54:42,208 --> 00:54:43,833
[humming]
709
00:54:45,333 --> 00:54:47,083
[music chimes]
710
00:54:47,125 --> 00:54:48,666
[car horn honking]
711
00:54:55,333 --> 00:54:57,666
I wish I could get a gift
that I loved this much!
712
00:54:57,708 --> 00:54:58,708
[Roland chuckles]
713
00:55:04,041 --> 00:55:06,958
Seems like you can buy something
so expensive
714
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,666
and, Jes, you're not bothered,
but the one that you like,
715
00:55:11,708 --> 00:55:13,916
it's all about the sensory, eh?
716
00:55:17,666 --> 00:55:20,541
[Naoki] Autistic people obsess
over certain things
717
00:55:20,583 --> 00:55:22,791
because we'd go crazy
if we didn't.
718
00:55:27,916 --> 00:55:32,166
Repetitive things
are comforting.
719
00:55:32,208 --> 00:55:36,291
They soothe me and protect me
from uncertainty.
720
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,583
[repetitive beeping]
721
00:55:48,833 --> 00:55:51,583
[loud street sounds]
722
00:55:51,625 --> 00:55:54,333
[loud welding sounds]
723
00:56:00,791 --> 00:56:02,375
[car horn honking]
724
00:56:03,458 --> 00:56:05,583
Oh, Jestina, football.
725
00:56:05,625 --> 00:56:08,708
[indistinct football commentary
over PA]
726
00:56:11,250 --> 00:56:12,416
Jes, let's go!
727
00:56:12,458 --> 00:56:16,000
[boy commentates in Krio
over PA]
728
00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:19,041
[Roland] Okay, it's time to go.
729
00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:21,250
[crowd cheering in distance]
730
00:56:21,291 --> 00:56:24,625
[boy commentates excitedly
in Krio over PA]
731
00:56:29,291 --> 00:56:30,791
[Mary] Anywhere in the world,
732
00:56:30,833 --> 00:56:32,125
when you have a child
with autism,
733
00:56:32,166 --> 00:56:34,833
there's still a lot of stigma.
734
00:56:34,875 --> 00:56:37,291
As she grew up,
I started to realize that
735
00:56:37,333 --> 00:56:39,500
Jes wasn't looked at with love
or empathy,
736
00:56:39,541 --> 00:56:41,791
it was with hatred
and such negativity.
737
00:56:43,708 --> 00:56:46,500
One day,
just outside these gates,
738
00:56:46,541 --> 00:56:48,708
she went into crisis,
full-blown crisis,
739
00:56:48,750 --> 00:56:50,750
screaming, head-banging,
biting.
740
00:56:52,958 --> 00:56:56,250
And I just saw people,
they think...
741
00:56:56,291 --> 00:56:59,333
in Krio, they'll say...
[in Krio] " Debul don olan."
742
00:56:59,375 --> 00:57:00,958
So, "the devil
has possessed her."
743
00:57:31,750 --> 00:57:34,416
-[exclaims joyfully]
-[uplifting music playing]
744
00:57:36,833 --> 00:57:40,083
[laughing and clapping]
745
00:57:47,041 --> 00:57:49,166
[engine revving]
746
00:57:53,083 --> 00:57:54,291
[Mary] Jes knows, right?
747
00:57:56,666 --> 00:57:57,750
[burst of street sounds]
748
00:58:01,958 --> 00:58:02,916
[burst of street sounds]
749
00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:11,416
[loud motorbike sound]
750
00:58:20,791 --> 00:58:21,750
[truck horn honking]
751
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:25,666
[Mary] Oh, did that scare you?
752
00:58:34,791 --> 00:58:36,500
[Mary] I wanted to meet
other parents
753
00:58:36,541 --> 00:58:38,458
with children with autism
754
00:58:38,500 --> 00:58:41,041
'cause I-- I didn't even see
such kids on the streets.
755
00:58:43,166 --> 00:58:45,833
So, we started with just
going into communities
756
00:58:45,875 --> 00:58:50,791
and quickly realized that
the stigma was so bad
757
00:58:50,833 --> 00:58:53,666
that the families were still
not really coming out.
758
00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:57,416
The problem is
759
00:58:57,458 --> 00:59:00,458
centuries of misunderstandings
about autism
760
00:59:00,500 --> 00:59:02,291
and that's not just
in Sierra Leone,
761
00:59:02,333 --> 00:59:03,958
but across the world.
762
00:59:08,125 --> 00:59:09,833
[Mary] So...
763
00:59:09,875 --> 00:59:13,208
[Mary speaking in Krio]
Today I want us to
share our experiences.
764
00:59:14,333 --> 00:59:17,541
I want people to understand
what we all are going through.
765
00:59:19,833 --> 00:59:21,916
My own daughter is
here at the back, Jes.
766
00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:26,583
So we're all in the
same shoes here.
767
00:59:27,041 --> 00:59:29,625
Truly I can say, I undertand.
768
00:59:34,875 --> 00:59:36,458
[parent 1 speaking in Krio]
The neighbors and
their children...
769
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,666
they say my child is mad.
770
00:59:40,250 --> 00:59:42,250
And we have to move out...
771
00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:45,416
because of pressure
from the community.
772
00:59:47,333 --> 00:59:48,541
[baby babbling]
773
00:59:48,583 --> 00:59:50,375
[man] Next, anybody?
774
00:59:50,416 --> 00:59:52,791
[parent 2 speaking in Krio]
Everywhere people call
her negative names.
775
00:59:54,250 --> 00:59:55,916
They say she a devil.
776
00:59:56,458 --> 00:59:58,375
They say she a witch.
777
00:59:58,833 --> 01:00:02,166
Some say I myself must be
a witch to give birth to her.
778
01:00:03,333 --> 01:00:05,750
Everyone wants me to
get rid of this child.
779
01:00:06,125 --> 01:00:08,958
I have done everything I can.
780
01:00:09,750 --> 01:00:12,000
But I don't have
anyone to help me.
781
01:00:12,916 --> 01:00:15,791
People tell me to dump
her in the river...
782
01:00:16,208 --> 01:00:17,708
So I can find peace.
783
01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:20,833
This is our situation.
784
01:00:29,291 --> 01:00:32,833
Jes, Jes, Jestina!
785
01:00:32,875 --> 01:00:34,208
[Jestina makes low noises
of distress]
786
01:00:42,125 --> 01:00:44,250
[Mary] Because of the way
autism presents,
787
01:00:44,291 --> 01:00:48,083
the screams, the--
You know, the sudden jumps.
788
01:00:48,125 --> 01:00:49,750
No matter what you do,
789
01:00:49,791 --> 01:00:50,916
you're the family
with the devil child.
790
01:01:09,291 --> 01:01:12,958
[electrical hum]
791
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:16,750
[muezzin calls to prayer]
792
01:01:27,208 --> 01:01:29,583
[Jestina humming]
793
01:01:33,541 --> 01:01:35,625
[indistinct chatter]
794
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:41,958
[caterpillar crawling]
795
01:01:45,583 --> 01:01:47,333
[gentle piano music playing]
796
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:55,333
[Naoki] I'm guessing that
what touches you in nature
797
01:01:55,375 --> 01:01:58,500
is the beauty of the trees
and the flowers and things.
798
01:02:01,666 --> 01:02:04,083
[Naoki] But for me,
799
01:02:04,125 --> 01:02:09,208
however often I'm ignored and
pushed away by other people,
800
01:02:09,250 --> 01:02:11,708
nature always embraces me.
801
01:02:17,583 --> 01:02:20,333
[Naoki] When I look at nature,
802
01:02:20,375 --> 01:02:23,833
I receive a sort of permission
to be alive in this world.
803
01:02:28,166 --> 01:02:30,833
[crickets chirping]
804
01:02:30,875 --> 01:02:32,791
[Roland] The mentality
we have here,
805
01:02:32,833 --> 01:02:35,541
is that we give to children
806
01:02:35,583 --> 01:02:37,583
and we expect them
to look after us.
807
01:02:40,166 --> 01:02:42,750
So, when they look at kids
with autism,
808
01:02:42,791 --> 01:02:45,500
to them, those children
cannot give them back anything.
809
01:02:45,541 --> 01:02:47,000
[vehicle approaching]
810
01:02:47,041 --> 01:02:48,791
And because of the pressure
811
01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:51,083
of the neighborhood,
pressure of the community,
812
01:02:51,125 --> 01:02:52,125
they tend to abandon them.
813
01:02:53,625 --> 01:02:55,291
They leave them in the bush.
814
01:02:55,333 --> 01:02:56,958
[insects chirping]
815
01:03:01,541 --> 01:03:03,958
[Mary] Kids like ours,
if they are alive,
816
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,375
they're the lucky ones.
817
01:03:19,708 --> 01:03:20,791
[boy makes quiet exclamation]
818
01:03:23,083 --> 01:03:26,000
[cello music plays]
819
01:03:35,333 --> 01:03:36,791
[David] For most of history,
820
01:03:36,833 --> 01:03:38,583
we've assigned autism
to demons,
821
01:03:38,625 --> 01:03:40,833
or to witchcraft
or in the early 20th century
822
01:03:40,875 --> 01:03:43,875
to 'retardation', um, and--
823
01:03:43,916 --> 01:03:46,750
And have acted accordingly,
I'm afraid.
824
01:03:46,791 --> 01:03:48,125
Um... [clicks tongue]
825
01:03:48,166 --> 01:03:49,791
...which I don't like
to think about,
826
01:03:49,833 --> 01:03:50,916
'cause that would have been
my son.
827
01:03:54,666 --> 01:03:56,791
Ah.
828
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,500
[man, on archive recording]
Very occasionally,
829
01:03:58,541 --> 01:04:00,291
amongst such severely
disturbed children,
830
01:04:00,333 --> 01:04:02,083
a child may be seen
831
01:04:02,125 --> 01:04:03,875
quite out of touch with the
rest of the group,
832
01:04:03,916 --> 01:04:06,458
living apparently in a world
of its own.
833
01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:09,583
This is a 'psychotic' child.
834
01:04:09,625 --> 01:04:12,208
[man 2, on archive recording]
A child with autism suffers
835
01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:16,666
from a very specific kind of
a defect in his comprehension,
836
01:04:16,708 --> 01:04:18,500
in his cognitive ability.
837
01:04:20,625 --> 01:04:22,458
[man 3, on archive recording]
Eugenics seeks to apply
838
01:04:22,500 --> 01:04:24,291
the known laws of heredity
839
01:04:24,333 --> 01:04:26,750
so as to prevent
the degeneration of the race,
840
01:04:26,791 --> 01:04:28,750
and improve
its inborn qualities.
841
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,875
[man 4,
German archive recording]
We call upon a
merciful destiny...
842
01:04:34,750 --> 01:04:37,416
to liberate these
regrettable creatures...
843
01:04:37,708 --> 01:04:40,375
from their existence
without life.
844
01:04:44,875 --> 01:04:48,000
[In English]
So, it's always been
with us, it's just...
845
01:04:48,041 --> 01:04:51,333
neurotypicals are rubbish
at understanding anything
846
01:04:51,375 --> 01:04:52,833
that is not neurotypical.
847
01:04:56,916 --> 01:04:58,458
[Naoki] We are born outside
848
01:04:58,500 --> 01:05:00,833
the regime
of your civilization.
849
01:05:05,291 --> 01:05:07,625
With all the killings
and planet-wrecking
850
01:05:07,666 --> 01:05:10,208
that humanity has committed,
851
01:05:10,250 --> 01:05:14,000
perhaps autism could help you
remember what truly matters.
852
01:05:23,250 --> 01:05:27,541
[both make popping noises
to each other]
853
01:05:27,583 --> 01:05:29,916
[Bertra spells out letters
Ben points to]
854
01:05:32,833 --> 01:05:35,375
Look at you dancing
at your party.
855
01:05:35,416 --> 01:05:37,166
I loved that dancing you did.
856
01:05:39,291 --> 01:05:43,458
Yeah, Jes' turn, okay,
she knows, she knows.
857
01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:44,625
Your turn, Jes.
858
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,500
-[exclaims]
-Jes' turn.
859
01:05:49,791 --> 01:05:50,916
[Mary] Jes' turn.
860
01:05:52,833 --> 01:05:56,791
-[Roland] Yay! [clapping]
-Yay! [claps]
861
01:05:56,833 --> 01:05:58,583
[Roland] We cannot just
close our eyes
862
01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:00,333
to what we've seen.
863
01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:03,083
We need to do something
about it.
864
01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:05,833
We decided to take it
to a different level.
865
01:06:05,875 --> 01:06:09,958
Went to TV stations,
radio stations, to go all out,
866
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:14,250
to get the nation to understand
what autism is.
867
01:06:14,291 --> 01:06:16,958
So that they'd be able to walk
the streets,
868
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,791
you know,
without having that fear.
869
01:06:21,625 --> 01:06:23,000
They need a normal life.
870
01:06:26,125 --> 01:06:29,125
So eventually in 2017
871
01:06:29,166 --> 01:06:31,041
we set up a school.
872
01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:35,208
[teacher] How do you feel?
873
01:06:35,250 --> 01:06:38,458
[all] I feel fine.
874
01:06:38,500 --> 01:06:40,333
[Mary] I started to see
a big difference,
875
01:06:40,375 --> 01:06:42,000
in the families' lives
and in the kids' lives.
876
01:06:44,208 --> 01:06:47,041
It's certainly the first school
of its kind.
877
01:06:47,083 --> 01:06:49,166
And eventually,
after many months,
878
01:06:49,208 --> 01:06:51,500
we got the community
on our side.
879
01:06:51,541 --> 01:06:54,000
I think they were fearful
because they didn't know
880
01:06:54,041 --> 01:06:55,791
what was wrong
and all they knew
881
01:06:55,833 --> 01:06:57,875
was these traditional beliefs.
882
01:06:57,916 --> 01:07:00,916
But now though we've seen
a total turnaround.
883
01:07:00,958 --> 01:07:03,041
They know most of our kids
by name now,
884
01:07:03,083 --> 01:07:05,458
so when they're coming down
the road they'll call them,
885
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:07,458
say "Hi."
886
01:07:07,500 --> 01:07:09,291
So, I think the fact that
we now have that relationship
887
01:07:09,333 --> 01:07:12,458
with the community,
means our kids are safe there.
888
01:07:13,750 --> 01:07:15,791
[all cheer]
889
01:07:15,833 --> 01:07:18,250
[Mary] The new government
has recognized the school
890
01:07:18,291 --> 01:07:22,333
and I think the narrative
is changing for Sierra Leone.
891
01:07:22,375 --> 01:07:25,500
What is in the box?
892
01:07:25,541 --> 01:07:29,833
-[all cheering]
-You don't know?
893
01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:38,041
-There is a lunch box!
-[all cheer]
894
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:40,916
Who wants to go to school?
895
01:07:45,083 --> 01:07:47,875
[Naoki] I want to grow up
learning a million things.
896
01:07:50,625 --> 01:07:53,625
There must be
countless other autistic people
897
01:07:53,666 --> 01:07:54,916
who have the same desire.
898
01:07:58,958 --> 01:08:00,916
[Naoki] We too want to grow.
899
01:08:04,250 --> 01:08:06,625
[man] Welcome
to North Foreland lighthouse.
900
01:08:07,958 --> 01:08:10,666
It was originally built in 1691.
901
01:08:12,416 --> 01:08:15,708
[woman] It's very high, Joss,
very high. [chuckling]
902
01:08:19,125 --> 01:08:21,041
-[Joss] It's a house.
-[man] It is a house,
903
01:08:21,083 --> 01:08:22,041
it's a lighthouse.
904
01:08:25,291 --> 01:08:26,791
Can you hear the wind?
905
01:08:35,125 --> 01:08:37,375
[Naoki] The hardest ordeal
for me
906
01:08:37,416 --> 01:08:42,416
is the idea that I am causing
grief for other people.
907
01:08:42,458 --> 01:08:45,958
Please keep battling
alongside me.
908
01:09:01,875 --> 01:09:03,333
[Joss] We're in the color tent!
909
01:09:03,375 --> 01:09:04,583
[Jeremy]
We are in the color tent!
910
01:09:04,625 --> 01:09:05,750
[Joss] The boys are happy?
911
01:09:05,791 --> 01:09:07,750
Joss is going back to see Mummy.
912
01:09:10,958 --> 01:09:12,166
[Stevie]
Joss, everything is blue!
913
01:09:13,583 --> 01:09:16,875
Everything is red!
[laughs]
914
01:09:16,916 --> 01:09:20,000
[Jeremy] We're in
the color tent! [laughs]
915
01:09:20,958 --> 01:09:22,291
Oh, Joss!
916
01:09:29,625 --> 01:09:32,625
Right now, Joss is having a joy
that I will never come close to.
917
01:09:34,708 --> 01:09:39,833
[Stevie screaming]
918
01:09:43,041 --> 01:09:46,666
[Jeremy] Being with Joss
is to live more in the moment.
919
01:09:46,708 --> 01:09:50,708
It's to let go of the long
train of things
920
01:09:50,750 --> 01:09:52,833
that we all carry around
behind us,
921
01:09:52,875 --> 01:09:56,041
and that interfere
with us living now.
922
01:10:20,875 --> 01:10:22,291
[train approaches]
923
01:10:29,625 --> 01:10:32,166
[Naoki] I used to think
it would be the best thing
924
01:10:32,208 --> 01:10:35,125
if I could live my life
like other people.
925
01:10:35,166 --> 01:10:38,958
But now, even if somebody
could change my autism,
926
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,666
-I would choose to stay
as I am.
927
01:10:41,708 --> 01:10:42,666
-[train rumbling]
928
01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:58,666
For me, you see,
autism is normal.
929
01:10:58,708 --> 01:11:02,333
I can't be sure what your
normal is even like.
930
01:11:02,375 --> 01:11:03,625
[birds singing]
931
01:11:05,333 --> 01:11:08,666
[boy makes 'ah' sounds]
932
01:11:08,708 --> 01:11:12,041
[Jeremy] The future
is an undiscovered country,
933
01:11:12,083 --> 01:11:16,666
literally, for us, and our hope
is that there will be a place
934
01:11:16,708 --> 01:11:20,166
for Joss, there will be a world,
there will be a society,
935
01:11:20,208 --> 01:11:22,416
there will be an understanding
for Joss that would mean
936
01:11:22,458 --> 01:11:26,250
that when we are not here,
he will be okay.
937
01:11:26,291 --> 01:11:29,125
And that's what we-- That's...
938
01:11:31,500 --> 01:11:32,541
[inhales]
939
01:11:33,750 --> 01:11:34,750
That's...
940
01:11:36,583 --> 01:11:39,416
[clicks tongue, sighs]
941
01:11:39,458 --> 01:11:42,916
This is why we don't go
to the future very often.
942
01:11:42,958 --> 01:11:46,250
Because the idea that Joss
is going to be alone
943
01:11:46,291 --> 01:11:47,291
is really frightening.
944
01:11:50,208 --> 01:11:52,250
[cello music ripples]
945
01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,375
[humming]
946
01:12:10,375 --> 01:12:11,833
[Bertra] It sounds like
I'm nagging you,
947
01:12:11,875 --> 01:12:14,583
but you know what?
I'm getting you ready.
948
01:12:14,625 --> 01:12:16,333
Mommy's not gonna come
and fold clothes
949
01:12:16,375 --> 01:12:18,500
at your new apartment. Huh?
950
01:12:18,541 --> 01:12:21,625
I'm not gonna do that!
[laughing]
951
01:12:21,666 --> 01:12:22,708
Let's try another way.
952
01:12:30,916 --> 01:12:33,125
And? Hmm?
953
01:12:33,166 --> 01:12:34,333
[Bertra] Keep going, keep going.
954
01:12:36,250 --> 01:12:37,250
Keep going.
955
01:12:39,583 --> 01:12:40,791
Okay, what's next?
956
01:12:43,541 --> 01:12:45,291
[Ben] Hmm.
957
01:12:45,333 --> 01:12:46,958
[Bertra] Look, look, look,
come on, Ben!
958
01:12:52,208 --> 01:12:53,291
Try it your way!
959
01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:57,458
Let's see if that works,
you may have discovered
960
01:12:57,500 --> 01:13:00,541
a new way, that's better
than Mommy's way.
961
01:13:00,583 --> 01:13:02,916
Okay, now what do you do?
To get it to look like that,
962
01:13:02,958 --> 01:13:04,458
what are you going to do next?
963
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:09,958
Ah, interesting, you know,
it's interesting!
964
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:11,333
What do you think?
It's gonna be
965
01:13:11,375 --> 01:13:12,416
a little bit different
with Mommy
966
01:13:12,458 --> 01:13:13,875
not doing laundry every day.
967
01:13:15,333 --> 01:13:16,500
Hmm?
968
01:13:56,750 --> 01:13:58,875
[inquisitive music playing]
969
01:13:58,916 --> 01:14:00,791
[woman] The building
is under construction.
970
01:14:00,833 --> 01:14:02,916
Just got to be careful
where we walk.
971
01:14:02,958 --> 01:14:05,500
When you move in
in a couple of months
972
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:07,500
you'll have a full orientation
973
01:14:07,541 --> 01:14:09,916
and tour of everything
in the building,
974
01:14:09,958 --> 01:14:13,666
including how the elevators work
and where the laundry rooms are.
975
01:14:13,708 --> 01:14:16,041
And today we're gonna take
a look at the rooms.
976
01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:21,041
[Emma] Yes! Emma say yes!
977
01:14:28,791 --> 01:14:30,833
[Ben hums happily]
978
01:14:30,875 --> 01:14:33,750
[woman] So, do you want to
come look in the bedrooms?
979
01:14:33,791 --> 01:14:34,833
[Emma] Emma say yes!
980
01:14:39,083 --> 01:14:41,375
[Ben hums happily]
981
01:14:58,833 --> 01:15:00,625
[gentle music playing]
982
01:15:00,666 --> 01:15:02,833
[Aarti] So a very warm welcome
to everyone gathered here
983
01:15:02,875 --> 01:15:04,625
for Amrit's solo show,
984
01:15:04,666 --> 01:15:06,833
'Metro Diaries,
Lives Extraordinaire.'
985
01:15:06,875 --> 01:15:09,416
[applause]
986
01:15:37,708 --> 01:15:41,916
[Ben sounds out "S"]
987
01:15:58,041 --> 01:16:00,000
[Elizabeth] I think
we can change the conversation
988
01:16:00,041 --> 01:16:01,833
around autism.
989
01:16:01,875 --> 01:16:03,291
[Ben sounds out "T"]
990
01:16:03,333 --> 01:16:05,791
[Elizabeth]
B... Get it. Y. "By..."
991
01:16:05,833 --> 01:16:10,791
[Elizabeth spells out letters
as Ben points to them]
992
01:16:11,666 --> 01:16:12,750
"By being..."
993
01:16:17,041 --> 01:16:17,958
" ...part..."
994
01:16:19,916 --> 01:16:20,875
Get it.
995
01:16:21,625 --> 01:16:23,250
"...part of..."
996
01:16:23,291 --> 01:16:26,125
[Elizabeth spells out letters
as Ben points to them]
997
01:16:26,166 --> 01:16:27,375
"Part of the..."
998
01:16:30,375 --> 01:16:31,625
Right to it.
999
01:16:33,458 --> 01:16:34,541
Look at it.
1000
01:16:43,250 --> 01:16:45,250
[Elizabeth] "I think
we can change the conversation
1001
01:16:45,291 --> 01:16:48,291
around autism by being part
of the conversation."
1002
01:16:52,208 --> 01:16:55,125
[choir vocalizing]
1003
01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:09,541
[tinny sound
from passer-by's headphones]
1004
01:17:22,833 --> 01:17:24,750
[cello music playing]
1005
01:17:24,791 --> 01:17:27,666
[Naoki] When I was little,
there was always a question
1006
01:17:27,708 --> 01:17:30,250
that was a big, big worry.
1007
01:17:30,291 --> 01:17:33,166
What am I going to become?
1008
01:17:33,208 --> 01:17:35,000
Will I ever be able
to live properly
1009
01:17:35,041 --> 01:17:36,208
as a human being?
1010
01:17:43,625 --> 01:17:46,666
I don't pretend for a moment
that everything I've written
1011
01:17:46,708 --> 01:17:48,625
applies
to all autistic people...
1012
01:17:49,666 --> 01:17:51,250
but I wrote this book
1013
01:17:51,291 --> 01:17:54,333
so that you can come
to understand me.
1014
01:17:54,375 --> 01:17:56,541
In the hope that my future
1015
01:17:56,583 --> 01:17:58,458
will be connected
with your future.
1016
01:18:02,916 --> 01:18:06,041
Above all, that's what I want.
1017
01:18:47,791 --> 01:18:50,625
♪ Having trouble telling
How I feel ♪
1018
01:18:50,666 --> 01:18:55,541
♪ But I can dance,
Dance, dance ♪
1019
01:18:55,583 --> 01:18:58,666
♪ Couldn't possibly tell you
How I mean ♪
1020
01:18:58,708 --> 01:19:02,416
♪ But I can
Dance, dance, dance ♪
1021
01:19:02,458 --> 01:19:06,291
♪ So when I'm tripping my feet
Look at the beat ♪
1022
01:19:06,333 --> 01:19:10,458
♪ The words are written
In the sand ♪
1023
01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:14,166
♪ When I'm shaking my hips
Look for the swing ♪
1024
01:19:14,208 --> 01:19:18,375
♪ The words are
Written in the air ♪
1025
01:19:18,416 --> 01:19:25,833
♪ Ooh dance
I was a dancer all along ♪
1026
01:19:25,875 --> 01:19:29,750
♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
1027
01:19:29,791 --> 01:19:32,958
♪ Words could never make up
For what you do ♪
1028
01:19:35,166 --> 01:19:38,041
♪ Easy conversations
No such thing ♪
1029
01:19:38,083 --> 01:19:42,750
♪ No I'm shy, shy, shy ♪
1030
01:19:42,791 --> 01:19:47,208
♪ My hips they lie
'Cause in reality ♪
1031
01:19:47,250 --> 01:19:49,625
♪ I'm shy, shy, shy ♪
1032
01:19:49,666 --> 01:19:53,708
♪ So when I'm tripping my feet
Look at the ground ♪
1033
01:19:53,750 --> 01:19:57,875
♪ The words are written
In the dust ♪
1034
01:19:57,916 --> 01:20:01,541
♪ When I'm shaking my hips
Look for the swing ♪
1035
01:20:01,583 --> 01:20:05,666
♪ The words are written
In the air ♪
1036
01:20:05,708 --> 01:20:13,083
♪ Ooh dance
I was a dancer all along ♪
1037
01:20:13,125 --> 01:20:17,041
♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
1038
01:20:17,083 --> 01:20:20,500
♪ Words could never make up
For what you do ♪
1039
01:20:37,041 --> 01:20:44,458
♪ Ooh dance
I was a dancer all along ♪
1040
01:20:44,500 --> 01:20:48,250
♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
1041
01:20:48,291 --> 01:20:52,125
♪ Words could never make up
For what you do ♪
1042
01:20:52,166 --> 01:20:55,750
♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
1043
01:20:55,791 --> 01:21:00,041
♪ Ooh I was a dancer
all along ♪
1044
01:21:00,083 --> 01:21:03,750
♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
1045
01:21:03,791 --> 01:21:07,791
♪ Words could never make up
For what you do ♪
1046
01:21:07,833 --> 01:21:15,583
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
1047
01:21:15,625 --> 01:21:23,375
♪ Dance, dance,
dance, dance ♪
1048
01:21:23,416 --> 01:21:27,416
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
1049
01:21:27,458 --> 01:21:31,208
♪ Oh I was a dancer
all along ♪
1050
01:21:31,250 --> 01:21:34,958
-♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
-♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪
1051
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:39,125
♪ Now words could never make up
For what you do ♪
1052
01:21:39,166 --> 01:21:46,833
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
1053
01:21:46,875 --> 01:21:54,625
♪ Dance, dance,
dance, dance ♪
1054
01:21:54,666 --> 01:21:58,291
♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪