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[ Barking ]
[ Boy ] THIS IS WHERE IT BEGINS. TWO ATOMS OF HYDROGEN BOND...
WITH A SINGLE ATOM OF OXYGEN TO FORM H2O,
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS WATER.
THEN, IF ALL GOES WELL, THE TEMPERATURE DROPS BELOW FREEZING,
THE WATER CRYSTALLIZES, AND A PRETTY BRILLIANT THING HAPPENS.
[ Wind Whistling ]
IF YOU ASK ME, THE MIRACLE ISN'T HOW EACH SNOWFLAKE IS PERFECTLY FORMED.
THE REAL WINTER MIRACLE IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN AFTERWARDS.
IT'S CALLED A SNOW DAY.
IT'S A DAY KIDS LIVE FOR.
SCHOOLS CLOSE, ROADS DISAPPEAR, GROWN MEN WEEP.
MY SISTER NATALIE SAYS ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ON A SNOW DAY.
THIS IS THE STORY OF ONE OF THOSE DAYS--
A DAY THAT CHANGED THE LIVES OF ME AND MY FAMILY... FOREVER.
[ Speaks Hawaiian ]
IN HAWAIIAN, THAT MEANS "THE HANDS TELL A STORY." [ Chuckles ]
AND THESE HANDS ARE SAYING "HAPPY, SUNNY FUN TIME,"
AS EVEN MORE UNSEASONABLY WARM WEATHER WIGGLES ITS WAY INTO OUR AREA.
BACK TO YOU, PHYLLIS. HOT WEATHER AND A HOT BODY--
WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR ?
"MAHUNNA OWI," PHYLLIS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE STORY OF A SYRACUSE MAN WHO SUED HIMSELF AND WON.
"MAHUNNA OWI" ? IT MEANS "KISS MY BUTT."
YOU WERE GREAT. RELAX. I'M A METEOROLOGIST, TINA.
LAST TIME I CHECKED, METEOROLOGISTS WORE PANTS.
WELL, THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, WE WERE NUMBER THREE IN A THREE-STATION MARKET.
THEREFORE, WEAR THE SKIRT OR HIT THE BRICKS. [ Scoffs ]
TOM, I KNOW THIS IS HARD ON YOUR DIGNITY.
UNLESS WE FIND A WAY TO BEAT... CHAD SYMMONZ,
HEY, YOU WANNA TAKE A RIDE ? COME ON. WE'RE STUCK.
CLIMB ABOARD AS WE-- WHOA-- DIP DOWN UNDERNEATH THE CLOUDS...
FOR OUR EXCLUSIVE CHANNEL 10
[ Echoing ] THREE-D "DOPELER" RADAR.
IT'S DOPPLER RADAR, YOU MORON.
FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM, FROM THE SIDE TO THE SIDE.
IF YOU WANNA WEAR PANTS, GET CHAD SYMMONZ' RATINGS.
WOW, WOULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THAT ? RIGHT HERE IN SYRACUSE...
WE'RE GONNA BE ROCKIN' THE OLD CASBAH WITH-- GET THIS--
WOW, 60 DEGREES ! WELL, IF YOU--
[ Man On Radio ] IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, HERE'S TODAY'S WACKY--
[ Boy Narrating ] WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF THOSE FREAKISHLY WARM WINTERS...
THAT ARE PRETTY POPULAR AMONG-- WELL, FREAKS.
OH, YEAH.
WHOA !
MEET PRINCIPAL KEN WEAVER,
THE MAN WHO WAS NUMBER ONE ON EVERY KID'S WINTER HIT PARADE.
WHAT ?
MAN, OH, MAN OF LA MANCHA !
PRINCIPAL WEAVER ? YOU HIT PRINCIPAL WEAVER !
[ Shouting ] IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT ? IS IT ?
WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS ?
[ Radio ] â™ª WE'RE HAVIN' A HEAT WAVE â™ª
â™ª OH, THERE'S NO SNOW FOR YOU OH, THERE'S NO SNOW FOR YOU â™ª
â™ª A TROPICAL HEAT WAVE â™ª
â™ª NOTHIN' BUT BLUE SKIES FOR ME OH, YOU'RE GOIN' TO SCHOOL â™ª
â™ª OH, YOU'RE GOIN' TO SCHOOL â™ª
THE GUY'S GETTIN' WAY TOO COCKY.
LOOK AT HIM. HE'S RUBBIN' OUR FACES IN IT.
LOOK AT ME ! I'M AN ISOSCELES TRIANGLE ! BIG TARGET ! COME ON !
THAT CLAM DIP'S GOTTA LEARN THAT WINTER'S NOT OVER TILL WE SAY IT'S OVER.
QUICK, LET'S RELOAD. THIS MAN IS ASKIN' FOR IT.
THAT'S IT FROM LAST YEAR'S STASH.
GUESS WE'RE OUT UNTIL IT SNOWS AGAIN.
IF IT SNOWS.
[ Sighs ] IT'LL SNOW.
[ Boy Narrating ] WHILE NATALIE WORRIED ABOUT THE FATE OF AN ENTIRE SEASON,
I HAD MY MIND ON MORE... IMPORTANT THINGS.
â™ª I SEE YOU FLOATING BY ME â™ª
HER NAME WAS CLAIRE BONNER. WAS I OBSESSED ?
LET'S JUST SAY I KNOW THE EXACT NUMBER OF TIMES SHE BLINKS PER MINUTE.
INTERESTING. YOU SEE, THAT PARTICULAR DIVE WAS TELLING ME...
THAT SHE'S LOOKING FOR A NEW LOVE IN HER LIFE.
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE BOLD, FRESH, SEXY.
HAL, CLAIRE BONNER WOULDN'T SPIT ON YOU IF YOUR HAIR WAS ON FIRE.
TO PEOPLE LIKE HER, PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE INVISIBLE.
YOU GUYS THINK I'M INVISIBLE ? THEN I GUESS SHE WON'T SEE ME WHEN I DO THIS.
â™ª YOU DO IT FOR ME YEAH, YOU DO IT â™ª
â™ª DO IT â™ª â™ª THAT'S HOW I KNOW THAT YOU ARE MINE â™ª
ALL RIGHT, SO I'M INVISIBLE.
BUT THE DAY WILL COME WHEN CLAIRE BONNER WILL FINALLY SEE JUST WHAT SHE'S BEEN MISSING.
â™ª THAT'S HOW I KNOW THAT YOU ARE MINE â™ª WHOA !
[ Hal Narrating ] YEAH, SHE SAW WHAT SHE WAS MISSIN'-- ME, HAL BRANDSTON, MR. SMOOTH.
[ Laughing ] WAY TO GO, BRANDSTON.
MY ORIGINAL IDEA WAS TO STAY UNDERWATER UNTIL I DIED,
BUT, LUCKILY, THE DEEP END HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME.
IT WAS DESTINY.
DUDE, JUST GO OVER THERE AND GIVE HER THE BRACELET. I MEAN, THIS IS YOUR BIG CHANCE.
DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT ? I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT.
[ Brakes Squealing ]
HEY, BABE, HOP IN. EVERYONE'S WAITING FOR US AT THE DINER.
GO AWAY. CLAIRE-BEAR.
WHAT IS GOIN' ON HERE ? YOU WON'T RETURN MY CALLS. YOU WON'T TALK TO ME.
I TOLD YOU I NEEDED SOME TIME TO THINK. WHAT'S THERE TO THINK ABOUT ?
YOU'RE CLAIRE BONNER, AND I'M CHUCK WHEELER. WE'RE AMERICA'S DREAM TEAM.
[ Scoffs ] NOT ANYMORE. [ Students Laughing ]
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT ?
HUH ? [ Tires Screeching ]
[ Natalie ] YOU HAVE DEFIED THE MIGHTY MELTAR FOR THE LAST TIME.
PREPARE TO TASTE THE FLAME OF JUSTICE, FREON.
HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU ? IT'S DOCTOR FREON-- DOCTOR !
NATALIE ? HEY, FANGOR ! YOU CAME HERE JUST IN TIME.
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH THESE GUYS ?
THEY'RE NOT TOYS. THEY'RE COLLECTIBLES.
IT WOULD SEEM YOUR BROTHER IS SOMETHING OF A NIMROD, IS HE NOT ?
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH FROM YOU, MR. FREON.
THAT'S DOCTOR FREON. DOCTOR.
SERIOUSLY-- HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE, OKAY ?
IF I'M GONNA SELL THESE GUYS, I'VE GOTTA KEEP THEM MINT.
SELL THEM ? YOU CAN'T. WE'RE A TEAM. YOU CAN'T SPLIT US UP.
NATS, TEAMS SPLIT UP ALL THE TIME. IT HAPPENS.
BUT WHO'S GONNA DEFEND THE UNIVERSE ? THE UNIVERSE'LL BE JUST FINE.
NO, IT WON'T.
DAD, IS IT EVER GONNA SNOW ?
OH, I DON'T KNOW, SWEETHEART.
IT'S BEEN TOUGH LATELY. LAST YEAR WAS EL NINO,
THIS YEAR IT'S-- EL SUCKO.
EL SUCKO-- YEAH.
RANDAL, IS THAT THE WAY WE EAT SOUP IN THIS HOUSE ?
[ Door Closes ] [ Woman ] NO, I'M SORRY.
NO. HE WANTS TO SWIM WITH THE SHARKS, HE'S GONNA LOSE A LITTLE BLOOD.
UH-HUH. YES, I KNOW. THAT'S WH--
[ Gasps ]
I-I'VE GOTTA GO.
I KNOW I'M LATE AGAIN. I'M SORRY.
OH, I'M A TERRIBLE MOTHER. I ADMIT IT. RIGHT AGAIN.
BUT I KNOW THAT IN YOUR HEARTS YOU'LL FIND A WAY TO FORGIVE ME.
AND YOU ARE-- [ All Laugh ]
RANDY, CALL SECURITY. YES, SIR.
THAT'S FUNNY. THAT'S VERY FUNNY. VERY FUNNY. [ Slurping ]
SO, WHAT'D I MISS ? I CAN FIT MY WHOLE FIST IN MY MOUTH. WANNA SEE ?
SHOW MOM.
WOW. THAT'S DANDY, HONEY.
THAT'S WONDERFUL ! THAT'S COOL.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
THIS DOLLAR IS YOURS IF YOU LET IT RING.
PLEASE. EASIEST BUCK I EVER MADE IN MY LIFE.
OH, BROTHER.
[ Ringing Continues ]
SO, HOW WAS, UH, EVERYBODY'S DAY ? [ Ringing Continues ]
GOOD. â™ª [ Whistles ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
I'LL BE BACK IN JUST A SECOND. TALK TO ME.
I GUESS THAT PHONE CALL MUST'VE BEEN IMPORTANT.
â™ª I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU â™ª
â™ª TO COME INTO MY LIFE â™ª
â™ª I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU â™ª
â™ª FOR A LOVE THAT WILL SURVIVE â™ª WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD COME IN MY ROOM.
JUST... GET OUT OF MY ROOM !
[ Knocking ] HI, NATS.
HEY, DAD.
ANYTHING OUT THERE ? I THINK SO.
IT'S GETTING COLDER OUT. THE NEEDLE MOVED A LITTLE BIT.
OH.
THAT IT HAS. THAT IT HAS.
MAYBE WE GOT A LITTLE LOW PRESSURE HEADIN' OUR WAY.
[ Knocking ] HEY, GUYS, I'M GOIN' OUT.
GOOD. WHY "GOOD" ?
HE'S BEEN ACTING ALL WEIRD LATELY.
WELL, HE HAS A LOT ON HIS MIND.
YOU KNOW, GIRLS, AND--
PRETTY MUCH MOSTLY GIRLS.
IS THAT WHY HE'S WEARING A GIRL'S ANKLE BRACELET ?
COULD BE. COULD BE.
YOU KNOW, BOYS HAL'S AGE-- THEY LIKE TO EXPERIMENT. DID YOU SAY ANKLE BRACELET ?
MM-HMM.
WELL, IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL.
OH, I FORGOT ! I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
MOM GAVE ME THIS WHEN I STARTED OUT AT THE STATION.
IT'S SORT OF A GOOD-LUCK CHARM.
MAYBE IT'LL WORK BETTER FOR YOU.
COOL. THANKS.
EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU GUYS HELP OUT HERE ? IT'S STUCK.
[ Groaning ]
YOU GET THE HEAD, I'LL GET THE CROWBAR.
[ Scoffs ]
â™ª THAT'S ALL RIGHT THAT'S OKAY â™ª
â™ª YOU NEVER LOVED ME ANYWAY â™ª
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T SEE A PATTERN HERE.
I MEAN, THE BRACELET, THE BREAKUP, [ Sighs ]
THE FACT THAT WE'RE BOTH BIG FANS OF WHALES.
WHALES ?
YEAH, WHALES-- NATURE'S GENTLE GIANT. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ?
EXACTLY. HAL, YOU'RE STARTING TO SCARE ME.
IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT WITH PATTY KRONE ?
FOR SOME REASON, SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE. [ Laughing ]
NO, I CAN'T GO OUT WITH A LEG-JIGGLER.
BESIDES, THIS THING WITH ME AND CLAIRE-- IT'S DESTINY.
[ Laughs ] ARE YOU CATCHING ANY OF THIS ?
OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT PROOF ?
WELL, THIS IS IT.
[ Thinking ] OKAY, HERE WE GO.
[ Exhales ] BREATHE, BREATHE.
EASY, EASY. NICE AND EASY.
WHO'S THE MAN ? WHO'S THE MAN ? YOU'RE THE MAN. COME ON.
LET'S GO. KEEP IT MOVIN'.
WELL, HERE I COME, BABY, LARGE AND IN CHARGE AND TOTALLY...
[ Chattering, Indistinct ] INVISIBLE.
LET ME SEE. NO, YOU LOOK TOTALLY--
[ Continuing, Indistinct ]
I WISH IT WAS THIS EASY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? DAYDREAMING ?
JUST CATCHING SNOWFLAKES. THEY TASTE GOOD ?
MM-HMM. IT'S GETTING LATE. COME ON.
SCOOT DOWN. THERE YA GO. TOMORROW IS A SCHOOL DAY.
DON'T RUB IT IN. LOVE YOU.
SWEET DREAMS.
NIGHT.
NIGHT, HONEY. [ Door Closes ]
YOU'RE ON IN TWO MINUTES, MR. SUNSHINE.
[ Air Expelling ]
WHOA.
THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT,
CAN IT ?
SNOW, AND LOTS OF IT, FOLKS. I WANNA TELL YOU SOMETHING,
THIS ONE ALMOST CAUGHT US BY SURPRISE, BUT WE WERE RIGHT ON TOP OF IT.
THIS WAS A FAST-MOVING LITTLE SYSTEM COMING OUT OF THE JET STREAM...
DOWN FROM CANADA, COLLIDING WITH THE WARM, SOUTHERLY FLOW WE'VE BEEN EXPERIENCING.
I GOTTA TELL YA, FOLKS, THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE BIG.
[ Snoring Quietly ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Murmuring ]
[ Shouting ] SNO-O-O-O-W !
[ Reporter ] WITH LAST NIGHT'S RECORD SNOWFALL GRINDING THE SYRACUSE AREA TO A HALT,
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A TRAVELER'S ADVISORY FOR TODAY.
I'M SURE YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT'S BEEN CLOSED, SO LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.
THE FOLLOWING ARE CLOSED FOR TODAY: TITAN TOOL AND DIE,
THE CAROUSEL MALL, THE HEALTH BARN,
FROMLIN'S CORDUROY SHOP,
AND, FINALLY, THE WEEKLY POKER GAME AT MY HOUSE. [ Chuckles ]
THAT CONCLUDES THE LIST OF CLOSINGS FOR TODAY. [ Sighs ]
[ Cackles ]
NO, THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO US.
OH, AND I FORGOT ONE.
ALL SCHOOLS ARE OFFICIALLY CLOSED FOR A SNOW DAY. [ Cheering ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Giggling ]
[ Cheering ] [ Weeping ]
NO SCHOOL. NO SCHOOL. NO SCHOOL !
WHOO ! NO SCHOOL.
[ Sighs ] SNOW DAY.
SNOW DAY ! SNOW DAY, SNOW DAY, SNOW DAY !
SNOW DAY ! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, HAL !
[ Rumbling ] OH, NO.
[ Rumbling Continues ]
[ Chattering, Yelling ]
[ Hal Narrating ] NO MATTER HOW BRAVE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE,
JUST HEARING HIS NAME COULD MAKE YOU WISH YOU LIVED IN FLORIDA.
SNOWPLOWMAN !
TO ADULTS HE WAS JUST SOME CREEPY GUY WITH A PLOW NAMED "DARLING CLEMENTINE."
BUT TO US, HE'S A SNOW-DAY ASSASSIN,
A MAN IN SERIOUS NEED OF A GOOD FLOSSING.
[ Screaming ] LEGEND HAS IT HIS TIRE CHAINS ARE MADE...
FROM THE BRACES OF KIDS WHO DIDN'T GET OUT OF HIS WAY.
[ Sniffles ] THEY SAY THE ONLY THING HIS HEART REALLY LOVES...
IS HIS BIRD, TRUDY. [ Squawking ]
[ Cooing ]
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES ! [ Screaming ]
[ Honking ] [ Whooping ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Screaming ]
NO-O-O-O !
I REALLY DON'T LIKE HIM.
HE'S NOT A FUN GUY.
HE'S GOTTA BE STOPPED-- TODAY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HAL ? WE SAID THIS WAS GONNA BE THE YEAR, DIDN'T WE ?
UH, NATS-- THE PRIZE-- THE LEGENDARY SECOND SNOW DAY.
THINK OF IT, HAL-- TWO IN A ROW. WE'VE NEVER HAD TWO IN A ROW BEFORE.
SORRY, BUT THERE'S SOMETHIN' I GOTTA DO.
"CLAIRE BONNER" ? WHO'S SHE ?
JUST THIS GIRL. YOU DON'T KNOW HER. WAIT A SECOND.
YOU'RE GONNA WASTE A SNOW DAY ON SOME GIRL ?
LOOK, TOMORROW EVERYTHING GOES BACK TO NORMAL.
AND WHEN IT DOES, I'LL JUST BE ONE OF A MILLION GUYS...
WISHING THAT CLAIRE BONNER WAS THEIR GIRLFRIEND.
BUT TODAY, MAYBE I CAN CHANGE THAT.
BUT WE'RE A TEAM. YEAH, AND WE ALWAYS WILL BE.
BUT I GOTTA GO SOLO TODAY, ALL RIGHT ?
THAT'S OKAY. I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAY.
OH, COME ON, MOM. GIVE ME A BREAK.
THERE'S NO WAY I CAN STAY HOME. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GIVING YOU A BREAK.
OKAY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. WE'LL LEAVE RANDY HERE BY HIMSELF.
[ Growling ]
BRIEFCASE-- CHECK.
COMMUTER MUG-- CHECK.
LUCKY TROLL DOLL-- CHECK.
LOOK OUT, ASIAN CARBONATED BEVERAGE MARKET,
HERE COMES TROUBLE.
DON'T WORRY MOM. THERE'LL BE OTHER WORK DAYS.
[ Hal Narrating ] I DIDN'T FEEL TOO BAD. MOM MAY HAVE LOST THE CHANCE...
TO SWIM WITH THE SHARKS, BUT SHE GAINED A LITTLE QUALITY TIME.
[ Growling ]
CLEAN MOMMY'S COAT. GOOD. OKAY. OKAY.
AS FOR ME-- [ Kids Shouting ]
WELL, I STOOD ON THE THRESHOLD OF A BRAVE NEW WORLD.
[ Grumbling ] WINTER WONDERLAND, MY BUTT !
HEY. BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN'T IT, MR. OGELTHORP ? OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.
"NEITHER RAIN NOR SLEET NOR--" WHAT'S THE LAST ONE, MR. HEBERT ?
[ Chuckles ] EVERYBODY MAKES FUN OF THE MAILMAN.
OH, GREAT. THAT'S JUST GREAT.
WELL, AT LEAST I CAN SEE THE OUTLINE OF MY CAR--
MY OWN LITTLE BLUE CAR.
TODAY IS REALLY,
[ Groaning ] REALLY... SHAPIN' UP.
â™ª [ Short Whistle ]
[ Grunts ]
IF YOU KIDS THINK--
BECAUSE I'M NOT--
YOU KIDS WANNA PLAY ROUGH ?
I INVENTED ROUGH !
I-- AGH !
[ Panting ]
MUST... MUSTER THE COURAGE... OF TEN PRINCIPALS.
MUST GET HOME.
I-- AGH !
OOH-- NOW !
NO. NO. NO-O-O-O !
NO-O-O-O !
[ Yells ]
YOU'VE GOT THE REFLEXES OF A DEAD COW. OH, YEAH ?
BUT YET IT WOULD SEEM THAT IT IS I WHO HAS THE OXYGEN-DEPRIVING SLEEPER HOLD.
OKAY. OKAY !
[ Laughing ] YOU WIN.
HEY, I WONDER IF IN HAWAII, INSTEAD OF SNOW DAYS, THEY HAVE "LAVA DAYS."
YEAH, I HEARD IN LOS ANGELES THEY GET OFF ON BAD HAIR DAYS. I HEARD THAT.
HEY, YOU KNOW,
THE PROBLEM WITH SNOW ANGELS IS THAT YOU CAN NEVER MAKE AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT ONE.
THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE THAT HANDPRINT YOU MAKE WHEN YOU CLIMB OUT.
COME HERE.
[ Grunting ] NOT ALWAYS. IT'S PERFECT.
IT SURE IS.
COME ON.
HEY. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO TODAY ?
START AN AVALANCHE !
I'VE GOT A BRACELET TO RETURN.
NO. NO, NO. COME ON, LANE.
THIS SNOW DAY HAPPENED FOR A REASON. IT'S GIVEN ME A SECOND CHANCE WITH CLAIRE.
HAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA DO ?
HUG YOU TO HER CHEST, LICK YOUR EAR AND CALL YOU "BUNKY" ?
OKAY, FINE. MAYBE YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE, BUT I DO.
OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS ? MAN, YOU'RE DUMB !
LOVE ISN'T ABOUT FATE AND MAGIC BRACELETS AND DESTINY.
IT'S ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE YOU CAN STAND TO BE AROUND FOR TEN MINUTES AT A TIME.
YOU'RE A REAL ROMANTIC, YOU KNOW THAT ?
THIS IS GONNA END IN FLAMES.
COME ON, LANE. HAVE A LITTLE FAITH.
IT IS A SNOW DAY.
[ Lane Sighs ] [ Hal Chuckles ]
â™ª COME ON, COME ON â™ª
â™ª ALL RIGHT â™ª â™ª COME ON â™ª
â™ª SAY OOH-LA-LA, SASSON â™ª
â™ª COME ON, COME ON SAY OOH-LA-LA SASSON â™ª
â™ª COME ON, COME ON SAY OOH-LA-LA â™ª
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE DOING ? [ Video Game Beeping ]
CHET'S TRYING TO BREAK HIS ALL-TIME RECORD.
AH, MAN, YOU BLEW IT ! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO LAY DOWN THE RUG.
WE WILL. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DAY OFF.
WAYNE, I'D BE CAREFUL ABOUT EATING TOO MUCH OF THAT STUFF.
YEAH, MAN.
WITH ALL THOSE LAYERS YOU'RE WEARING, IF YOU HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM--
I DON'T KNOW. IT COULD BE CLOSE. [ Laughs ]
ALL RIGHT ! YOU BROUGHT MELTAR !
SO WHERE'S HIS FAITHFUL SIDEKICK, FANGOR ?
CHASING SOME GIRL. DON'T EVEN ASK.
SO, WHAT'S OUR QUEST TODAY ?
YOU KNOW WHAT MELTAR SAYS. "LISTEN TO THE WIND !"
[ Rumbling ]
THAT'S NOT THE WIND.
[ Rumbling Continues ]
SNOWPLOWMAN.
[ Screaming ]
COME ON, MOVE IT ! [ Squawking ]
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. COULDN'T WE JUST GO BACK AND MAKE A SNOWMAN ?
NO WAY. THIS IS THE YEAR HAL AND I SAID WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN.
WELL, HAL'S NOT HERE, SO-- SNOWBALL, NOW.
WHAT DO YA NEED ? I GOT YOUR STANDARD "SLUSHBALL"-- ALWAYS DEPENDABLE.
THE EVER-POPULAR "MOONBALL"-- THE LAST THING HE SEES IS YOU MOONIN' HIM.
I'VE GOT THE JELLY-FILLED "SNOWNUT"...
AND THIS ONE-- IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.
GIMME THE "SNOWNUT." AW, MAN ! I GOTTA WHIZ !
[ Kids Screaming ]
IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
I'LL GO WITH "NOW" !
[ Engine Falters, Quits ]
OH, WOW.
[ Engine Starts ] [ All Scream ]
RUN !
PUT SOME OOMPH INTO IT, WAYNE-O !
[ Horn Honking ] [ Screaming ] NO ! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE !
I DON'T WANNA DIE WITH MY PANTS DOWN !
[ Screaming ]
HEY, IF YOU CAN'T HUNT WITH THE BIG DOGS,
YOU BETTER SIT ON THE PORCH WITH THE PUPS !
[ Whooping ] [ Squawking ]
COME ON, YOU GUYS ! GO ! RUN !
COME ON, CHET ! GO, GO ! I'M GOIN' !
COME ON, LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO !
[ Whooping, Laughing ]
[ Screaming ] MAN, OH, MAN, OH, MAN, OH, MAN, OH, MAN !
[ Whimpers, Farts ]
[ Whooping ]
[ Squawks ] [ Sniffing ]
[ Woman On Monitor ] I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
THE OFFICE IS CLOSED DOWN, AND YOU MAKE ME COME TO WORK.
I HAD TO WALK THE WHOLE WAY.
LOOK AT MY TOES-- THEY'RE FROZEN, LIKE TATER TOTS.
NONA, HONEY, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ?
[ Imitates Engine ] I AM COMPLETELY SNOWED IN HERE.
LAURA, EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKIN' THE DAY OFF. WHY CAN'T WE ?
BECAUSE WE HAVE WORKED TOO HARD AND TOO LONG... [ Toys Crashing ]
TO LET A LITTLE SNOW GET IN THE WAY OF A 42% GLOBAL MARKET SHARE.
[ Sighs ] COME ON, IT'LL BE FUN.
NOW, THE FIRST THING I NEED IS THE QUARTERLY EARNINGS REPORT.
THE FIRST THING YOU NEED IS A STUN GUN FOR YOUR KID. MMM.
[ Gasps ] I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
RANDY, RANDY, HONEY. RANDY, SWEETIE. HONEY, HONEY.
IS THAT ANY WAY TO TREAT YOUR HEAD ? I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE.
MRS. HUFFNER LETS US GO OUTSIDE SCHOOL.
I KNOW, HONEY, BUT REMEMBER WHAT MOMMY SAID ?
THE SECOND HER WORK IS DONE WE'LL GO OUTSIDE. OKAY ?
[ Huffs ]
TELL ME A STORY.
[ Chuckles ] OKAY.
OKAY, OKAY.
[ Sighs ] ONCE UPON A TIME,
IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY, THERE LIVED A LITTLE PRINCE.
MRS. HUFFNER TELLS US THE STORY ABOUT THE POKEY LITTLE PUPPY.
I SEE. WELL, MOMMY DOESN'T KNOW THAT STORY.
CAN MRS. HUFFNER DO... THIS ?
[ Imitates Donkey, Giggles ]
MRS. HUFFNER BRINGS IN THE REAL DONKEY.
UH-HUH. WELL,
DID MRS. HUFFNER GIVE YOU THAT PAINT SET FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY A WHOLE WEEK EARLY ?
HMM ? IT'S ON MOMMY'S BED.
[ Whoops ] YEAH ! YEAH ! [ Laughs ]
[ Sighs ] TAKE THAT, MRS. HUFFNER.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Whimpering ]
[ Boy ] COME ON ! TAKE A RIDE ON MY SLED.
[ Grunts ]
HEY, PRINCIPAL WEAVER. [ Laughing ] HEY, KIDS !
ENJOYING YOUR DAY OFF ? I KNOW I SURE AM.
[ Laughing ] GOTTA GO.
I 'M... TAKING... NAMES ! [ Both Laugh ]
I WONDER WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SAY WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT CLAIRE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME.
I KNOW WHAT CHUCK IS GOING TO SAY-- "PREPARE TO DIE, WASTE CASE."
CHUCK ? HE HAD HIS CHANCE. TODAY SHE'S ALL MINE.
â™ª BABY HOW CAN YOU DOUBT MY LOVE â™ª
â™ª WHEN YOU'RE THE REASON I'M SMILIN' â™ª
[ Commotion Outside ]
CLAIRE !
[ Shouting ]
I LOVE YOU, CLAIRE. I WANNA STROKE YOUR HAIR.
[ Commotion Continues ]
I LOVE YOU, CLAIRE. [ Snickers ] IT'S LIKE... "CLAIRE-STOCK."
[ Chuckles ]
BILL, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE ? WORD GETS AROUND, DUDE.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY WHO KNEW THEY BROKE UP.
SOME OF THESE GUYS-- THEY CAME ALL THE WAY FROM ROCHESTER.
HA, HA. WHEELER !
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME. BEAT IT, DIPS !
GOT THAT, KORN ? NOW, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT...
BEFORE YOU ALL GET FREE PASSES TO THE CHUCK WHEELER HOUSE OF PAIN.
[ Screaming ]
CLAIRE-BEAR, IT'S ME !
REST ASSURED, I WILL FIND THE HOOLIGANS WHO EGGED MY HOUSE-- LET ME UP ! WE GOTTA TALK.
CLAIRE, I'M BEGGING YOU ! SORRY, CHUCK. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
[ Volume Increasing ] STAY WITH US, WON'T YOU ? WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK...
WITH A LIVE CHANNEL 6 WEATHER UPDATE RIGHT AFTER THIS.
CHEER UP. AT LEAST SHE WATCHES YOUR DAD'S STATION.
CLAIRE, PLEASE !
IF OUR THREE YEARS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, YEAH, SHE DOES.
JUST GIVE ME ONE LITTLE MINUTE.
ALL RIGHT, BUT ONLY A MINUTE.
WELL, IT'S NOT FAIR. YOU WANTED TO WEAR PANTS ? YOU ARE WEARING PANTS.
TINA, PEOPLE DON'T WANT THIS FROSTY THE WEATHERMAN STUFF.
THEY DON'T. I'VE SEEN IT IN THEIR EYES. THEY WANT REAL WEATHER...
FROM THE ONLY GUY AROUND TOWN WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. ACTUALLY, TOM,
RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THEY WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN JUGGLE FIRE AND MAKE COOL SOUND EFFECTS.
NO, YOU'RE WRONG. PEOPLE WILL FIND OUT WHO PREDICTED THE STORM FIRST.
AND WHEN THEY DO, WATCH OUT, CHAD SYMMONZ.
CLAIRE-BEAR,
WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY WAS... YESTERDAY.
TODAY IS TODAY--
A DAY TO GO SKATING.
[ Belches ] WHAT DO YOU SAY, CLAIRE, HUH ?
CHUCK, WE BROKE UP. YEAH, BUT NOT TECHNICALLY.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT. YES, TECHNICALLY.
LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW !
AND THAT'S WHAT KIDS ALL OVER CENTRAL NEW YORK ARE SAYING TODAY,
AS LAST NIGHT'S RECORD SNOWFALL...
OH, HONEY. TURNED THEIR WORLD INTO A WINTER WONDERLAND.
I'M HERE AT SLUPPERTON HILL, OR, AS THE KIDS HERE TODAY LIKE TO CALL IT, SUICIDE HILL.
AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO SAY "YEA, WINTER"...
THAN WITH A GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED TOBOGGAN RIDE ?
HEY, DAD !
NOW, I'M GONNA ASK MY FRIENDS HERE TO GIVE ME JUST A LITTLE PUSH.
I SAID A LITTLE ONE ! NO ! PLEASE ! OH !
LOOK OUT DOWN THERE !
[ Continues Shouting ]
â™ª COME ON, COME ON AND TELL ME â™ª
WHOA ! MOVE IT, EVERYBODY !
TOM !
â™ª AND TELL ME WHY IS IT TAKIN' SO LONG â™ª TOM !
â™ª FOR YOU TO RECOGNIZE AND STOP â™ª
CAREFUL ! â™ª ANOTHER DAY IN THE SUN I'M HAVIN' FUN â™ª
â™ª BUILDINGS SNEAKIN' UP ON ME â™ª
â™ª I TAKE A LOOK AT THE SKY A PLANE GOES BY â™ª
WHAT IS THIS ? FRANK, PAN OFF HIM. PAN OFF HIM, FRANK !
DO SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING !
CLAIRE, I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING.
MY NAME'S HAL. YOU DON'T KNOW ME, BUT I KNOW YOU.
LIKE, I KNOW THAT YOUR FAVORITE GUM IS WATERMELON BUBBLICIOUS,
THAT YOU CAN'T GO A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT DIVING...
AND THAT YOU HAVE THE MOST AMAZING BROWN EYES I'VE EVER SEEN.
I ALSO KNOW THAT YESTERDAY AMERICA'S DREAM TEAM BROKE UP. CHOICE !
PERSONALLY, I THINK IT WAS THE RIGHT MOVE.
SO, TODAY, IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT TO DO NEXT,
I SAY TRY SOMETHING NEW-- ME.
IT'S A SNOW DAY, CLAIRE. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
[ Test Pattern Tone ]
HAL, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED TO WEAR A LITTLE COLOGNE TO GET A GIRL TO NOTICE ME.
I'M SORRY, DAD, BUT IT'S JUST THAT THIS GIRL IS JUST SO--
YOU KNOW, SHE'S JUST-- OH. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. GETS YOUR BLOOD RUNNING, HUH ?
WELL, YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
WE METEOROLOGISTS ARE TRAINED FOR THE UNPREDICTABLE. UH, TOM ?
YOU MIGHT WANNA LOOK AT THIS. WE WERE TAPING THE CHANNEL 10 FEED, AND, UH--
AND WHO WAS THERE FIRST LAST NIGHT WHEN THE BLIZZARD OF THE CENTURY CAME KNOCKING ?
WHY, CHAD SYMMONZ, OF COURSE. WHENEVER THERE'S WEATHER THAT AFFECTS OUR AREA,
YOU CAN BET YOUR BOOTS THAT I'LL BE THERE... FIRST.
FIRST ONE, MY BUTT ! LIAR !
LIAR ! WHO WAS FIRST ? WHO WAS IT ? YOU LIAR ! NO. NO, TOM.
IT'S OKAY. COME ON. DROP IT. WHO WAS FIRST ?
JUST ONE. JUST ONE. NO. NO ! OKAY. LIAR !
SO, HOW WAS I ?
[ Sighs ]
REMEMBER IN SIXTH GRADE WHEN YOU WORE THOSE RAINBOW SUSPENDERS ALL YEAR...
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE SO COOL ?
IT WAS KINDA LIKE THAT. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN', OKAY ?
[ Engine Buzzing ]
THEN ENLIGHTEN ME. HOW DOES THAT WORK INTO YOUR PLANS ?
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, HAL ? THEY ALWAYS GET BACK TOGETHER.
â™ª THERE SHE GOES â™ª
â™ª THERE SHE GOES AGAIN â™ª
â™ª RACIN' THROUGH MY BRAIN â™ª
â™ª AND I JUST CAN'T CONTAIN â™ª [ Sighs ]
â™ª THIS FEELIN' THAT REMAINS â™ª
â™ª THERE SHE GOES â™ª â™ª THERE SHE GOES AGAIN â™ª
â™ª THERE SHE GOES â™ª
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE DECOY ?
I'M THE ONE WHO GOT THE KETCHUP ! SHH !
IF YOU DON'T PLAY DEAD, YOU'RE GONNA BE DEAD. THAT'S COMFORTING.
[ Horn Honks ] HERE HE COMES.
NEXT TIME YOU CAN GET YOUR OWN KETCHUP !
THIS BETTER NOT STAIN MY COAT.
â™ª OH, MY DARLIN' CLEMENTINE â™ª [ Squawks ]
â™ª YOU ARE LOST AND GONE FOREVER â™ª
â™ª DREADFUL SORRY â™ª
[ Squawks ]
[ Gears Grind ]
[ Engine Stops ]
HM-HMM.
[ Farting ]
I'M GOING FOR THE KEYS.
UGH.
[ Sniffles ]
AH, UH-HUH. MM-HMM.
A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YA.
MMM.
[ Squawks, Sniffles ]
[ Singsong ] HELLO, BIRDIE. PRETTY BIRDIE.
YES, YOU'RE A PRETTY BIRDIE. â™ª [ Whistles ]
YOU'RE A PRETTY BIRDIE. YEAH ! HELLO--
[ Squawks ] [ Yells ] GO AWAY ! GO AWAY !
MMM.
CHET ! CHET ! CHET, HELP ! [ Yells ]
[ Both Shouting ]
[ Shouting Continues ] HEY ! GET OUT OF MY PLOW !
NO. TRUDY !
YOU WANT HER ? COME GET HER, DIRTBAG.
OH-- THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY !
TRUDY ! [ Grunts ]
[ Wayne Screams ] [ Sniffles ]
[ Continues Screaming ]
[ Farts ]
[ Whimpers, Farts ]
â™ª LOVE LETTERS â™ª
â™ª STRAIGHT FROM YOUR â™ª
â™ª HEART â™ª
[ Announcer ] OF COURSE, THAT WAS "LOVE LETTERS" BY THE SULTAN OF SMOOTH,
MR. AL MARTINO.
WHILE WE'RE STILL IN A ROMANTIC MOOD, SKATERS ARE REMINDED...
THAT THERE'S NO BETTER WAY TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"...
THAN WITH A BRAND-NEW PAIR OF SKATE GUARDS, ON SALE IN THE MAIN OFFICE.
COME ON. IF YOU WON'T DO IT FOR ME, DO IT FOR THEM.
HOW MANY YEARS HAS HE BEEN PUTTING EVERYBODY TO SLEEP WITH THAT MUSIC OF HIS ?
HEY, ARE YOU READY TO PARTY ? I KNOW I AM.
SO LET'S MAKE THE SCENE, GENE, AS-- WHO ELSE ?
AL MARTINO INVITES US TO ENTER...
A WORLD OF FASCINATION.
â™ª IT WAS FASCINATION â™ª
â™ª I KNOW â™ª [ Skaters Chattering ]
â™ª AND IT MIGHT HAVE ENDED RIGHT THERE â™ª [ Snoring ]
â™ª AT THE START â™ª
â™ª JUST A PASSING GLANCE â™ª HEY.
CHUCK, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION ? ASK AWAY.
WHO AM I ? [ Scoffs ] YOU'RE MY WOMAN.
NO. WHO AM I AS A PERSON ?
WE'VE BEEN DATING THREE YEARS. WHAT DO YOU REALLY KNOW ABOUT ME ?
WHOA. HEAVY.
OKAY, WELL, UH, I KNOW YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL'S A CHIMPANZEE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CRAZY ABOUT CHIMPS.
â™ª ALONE WITH THE MOONLIGHT ABOVE â™ª
SPIDER MONKEYS ? â™ª THEN I TOUCHED YOUR HAND â™ª
[ Knocking ] MR. ZELLWEGER, PLEASE, IT'S AN EMERGENCY !
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM ? OH, MY GOSH. IN THE LADIES' ROOM.
I TRIED TO STOP HER. I REALLY TRIED. STOP WHO FROM DOIN' WHAT ?
"AL MARTINO BITES THE BIG ONE."
THAT'S WHAT SHE WROTE IN THE BATHROOM STALL--
SOME WEIRD GIRL WITH A DOG COLLAR AND A SNAKE TATTOOED ON HER FACE.
WHAT KIND OF SICKO--
TAKE ME TO HER NOW ! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO--
WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS THAT HAVE BRIGHT RED BUTTS ? BABOONS !
CHUCK, WHAT COLOR ARE MY EYES ?
THEY'RE GREEN, OF COURSE !
A DARKISH SHADE OF GREEN. IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE BROWN. I'M ON TOP OF IT.
ONE LAST QUESTION.
WHAT FLAVOR OF GUM DO I CHEW ?
WHAT FLAVOR OF GUM ? WHAT KIND OF BOGUS QUESTION IS THAT ?
KID ON TV KNEW. WHAT KID ON TV ?
HIM. MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE ?
DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND HIS CONTROL,
MR. ZELLWEGER CANNOT BE WITH US RIGHT NOW. SO,
TO CONTINUE IN THE PARTY MOOD,
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A SPECIAL SNOW-DAY DEDICATION TO CLAIRE BONNER.
HI. YOU MIGHT THINK I'M CRAZY, CLAIRE, BUT THAT'S OKAY.
â™ª [ Rock And Roll ]
YOU ARE SO DEAD !
WHAT ? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
HAL, LET'S GO. I THINK YOU MADE YOUR POINT. YEAH.
â™ª PEOPLE SAY WE'RE NOT THE SAME â™ª
â™ª SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE I'M IN PAIN â™ª
â™ª AM I WASTING MY LIFE WAITING FOR YOU â™ª
MAKES ME SICK !
SWARMS OF VERMIN.
DESTRUCTIVE, IGNORANT CRETINS !
METALLICA SUCKS.
SNOWPLOWMAN ? I MEAN, MR. SNOWPLOWMAN ?
I WAS WONDERING, YOU KNOW THAT STORY...
ABOUT HOW YOU FREQUENTLY GRIND KIDS INTO ROAD SALT ?
THAT'S JUST A STORY, RIGHT ?
[ Chuckles Nervously ]
YOU CAN GET BACK TO ME ON THAT. NO RUSH.
I'M TOAST.
[ Doorbell Ringing ]
OH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR AFTERNOON, MA'AM,
BUT I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT BE ABLE...
TO TELL ME WHERE I COULD FIND YOUR DAUGHTER ?
NATALIE ? NATALIE BRANDSTON ? WHY, IS SHE IN TROUBLE ?
OH, OH. NO ! [ Laughing ]
NO, NO, NO. IT'S AH--
WELL, JUST A BUNCH OF THE KIDS SIGNED UP FOR FREE PLOW RIDES.
OH ! GREAT. YOUR LITTLE NATALIE IS NEXT IN LINE.
OH, YOU MUST BE THE GUY THAT THE KIDS ALL CALL SNOWPLOWMAN.
WELL, THE KIDS HAVE A LOT OF DIFFERENT NAMES FOR ME.
BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ROGER. [ Sniffing ]
OKAY, ROGER.
IS THAT WAYNE ALWORTH ? HI, HONEY !
[ Banging On Door ] MRS. BRANDSTON !
[ Horn Honking ]
YEAH, THAT'S ACTUALLY WAYNE.
HE'S JUST FINISHING HIS PLOW RIDE.
[ Honking Continues ] OH, THE KIDS REALLY LOVE TO TOOT THE HORN, DON'T THEY ?
WHAT'S HE WRITING ?
"PLEH" ?
PL--
THAT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF A--
WELL, IT'S A TECHNICAL TERM.
JUST A... PLOWING TERM.
MA'AM, THERE'S A LOT OF KIDS ON THIS LIST, SO...
IF I COULD FIND YOUR DAUGHTER-- OH, SORRY. SURE, OF COURSE.
[ Screaming ]
RANDY, RANDY, COME HERE !
HE GOT A PAINT SET FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. AAH !
OH, HONEY, YOU'RE GONNA FREEZE TO DEATH. HONEY, COME BACK !
[ Phone Ringing ]
[ Continues Ringing ]
HELLO ?
[ Natalie ] HELLO, SNOWPLOWMAN. THERE'S SOMEONE HERE WHO WANTS TO SAY "HI" TO YOU.
[ Squawking ]
AAH ! TRUDY ! TRUDY, HONEY.
ARE YOU OKAY, BABY ? THEY HAVEN'T HURT YOU YET HAVE THEY, HONEY ?
NOT YET. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME ?
HOW ABOUT WE GET OUR FRIEND BACK AND YOU GIVE US A SECOND SNOW DAY ?
[ Chuckles ] NO WAY. UH-UH.
THEN WE KEEP THE BIRD, AND YOU KEEP THE WAYNE.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ?
BILL ?
HEY, CHECK IT OUT ! FRENCH-FRY LOG CABIN.
I SEE YOU'RE NOT WASTING YOUR DAY. YOU KNOW IT.
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON ? WHERE'S HAL ? THE FOOTBALL FIELD.
[ Lane ] HE'S OFF BUILDING SOME KIND OF SHRINE TO LADY CLAIRE,
AND I'M THE FEEB WHO'S BEEN SENT HERE TO FETCH HER.
[ Chet ] AND TO THINK, WE USED TO BE AFRAID OF THIS JOKER.
[ Natalie ] LOOK, HOW EASY IS THIS ?
WE GIVE HIM HIS BIRD, AND HE GIVES US AN EXTRA SNOW DAY.
[ Chet ] I SAY WE GO FOR TWO. NO, THREE !
[ Natalie ] YEAH ! THREE SNOW DAYS, AND I GET TO DRIVE HIS TRUCK.
[ Laughing ]
WHERE IS THIS MOOK ANYWAY ? HE SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW.
HELP ! HELP !
[ Screaming ]
HELP !
[ Farts ]
WHAT IF I MIGHT ACTUALLY THINK THIS GUY IS CUTE ? [ Scoffing ]
WHAT IF YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ON THE VERGE...
OF COMMITTING TOTAL SOCIAL SUICIDE ?
HELP ME PLEASE ! I BEG YOU !
[ Screaming ]
ANYWAY, JUST FOR FUN, LET'S PRETEND THAT YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THIS GUY.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM ? HE'S REALLY TICKLISH. I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
WHAT ELSE ? HE HATES DRUM MACHINES.
OH, AND HE ONCE GAVE MOUTH-TO-MOUTH TO A BABY CHICK.
REALLY. IT WAS EASTER AND MY MOM GOT THE BRIGHT IDEA...
OF BRINGING HOME BABY CHICKS FOR EVERYONE.
IT WAS KINDA CUTE UNTIL THEY ALL STARTED DYING...
WHICH THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO DO RIGHT AFTER YOU NAME THEM.
BUT, ANYWAY, SO THERE'S HAL ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES...
GIVING MOUTH-TO-MOUTH TO MY BIRD.
IT WAS-- IT WAS--
ALL RIGHT, LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK. GIVE ME THE BIRD.
GIVE ME THE WAYNE.
THE BIRD ! THE WAYNE !
YOU-- LEAVING, NOW.
I'M GOING.
BUT, CLAIRE, YOU'VE GOTTA COME WITH ME. HAL'S EXPECTING YOU.
I KNOW YOU HARDLY EVEN KNOW THE GUY, BUT...
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE MAKING A SNOW ANGEL, AND YOU WANNA MAKE IT PERFECT,
BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE...
THERE'S ALWAYS THAT HANDPRINT YOU MAKE WHEN YOU CLIMB OUT ?
WELL, WITH HAL, THERE'S NO HANDPRINT.
â™ª I HAVE A DREAM â™ª
â™ª I WATCH FROM AFAR â™ª
â™ª WAS NO LONGER HEARTACHED â™ª
CLAIRE ! WHAT'S CHUCK GONNA THINK ?
CHUCK DOESN'T THINK.
â™ª I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE â™ª
THE WAYNE ! THE BIRD !
THE WAYNE ! YOU FIRST.
YOU FIRST !
I SAID "YOU FIRST" FIRST.
SO ?
JUST GIVE HIM THE BIRD PLEASE ! I WANNA GO HOME !
DO IT SO WE CAN GET OUTTA HERE.
OH, HI, HONEY, SWEETIE. YOU ALL RIGHT ? ARE YOU OKAY ? GOOD.
HEY ! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, CHIEF ? NO !
LET HIM GO !
NOBODY MESSES WITH ROGER STUBBLEFIELD.
GREAT PLAN, GUYS. REAL GREAT, AWARD-WINNING, SPECTACULAR--
I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING. YOU'RE GENIUSES !
YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT HE CAN DO WHEN HE'S REALLY TRYING.
YOU MADE THIS FOR ME ? WHY ?
IT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL-- A WHALE !
YOU KNOW, NATURE'S GENTLE GIANT ?
BUT, BUT I LIKE ZEBRAS.
THEN HOW COME YOU HAVE A WHALE CHARM ON YOUR BRACELET ?
YOU HAVE MY BRACELET ?
WHY DOES HE HAVE MY BRACELET ?
DESTINY-- PURE DESTINY.
OH, NO !
HEY, ZIP, YOU'RE IN LUCK. THE HOUSE OF PAIN NOW DELIVERS !
[ Natalie ] CHUCK !
WHAT DO YOU WANT ? CLAIRE-BEAR !
I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' ALL OVER FOR YOU.
AS FOR YOU, MR. WONDERFUL--
HEY, WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE ?
AHH, IT'S ALL SWEATY. THIS IS CLAIRE'S.
I GAVE IT TO HER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH IT ? I CAN EXPLAIN.
CLAIRE, WHAT'S THIS DINK DOIN' WITH YOUR BRACELET ?
I WOULDN'T WANNA BE YOU IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES.
DON'T WORRY. WE'LL GET THIS BACK ON YOUR LOVELY ANKLE WITHOUT DELAY.
REMEMBER WHEN I GOT THIS FOR YOU ?
AT AQUALAND ? THEY HAD THE GLASS-BOTTOM BOAT, REMEMBER ?
THE TOUR GUIDE KEPT TELLING US TO GAZE AT THE EXOTIC WONDERS OF THE DEEP.
ALL I DID WAS LOOK AT YOU.
WHY DID YOU BUY ME A WHALE ? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW.
BECAUSE OF SHAMPOO-- SHAMPOO, THE KILLER WHALE. YOU LOVE THAT WHALE.
IT'S NOT SHAMPOO, YOU BLOWHOLE. IT'S SHAMU !
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT !
WHOA !
â™ª SWITCHBLADE 327 â™ª
â™ª SKIN-TONE BOOT'S ON THE ACCELERATOR â™ª
[ Motors Revving Loudly ]
â™ª SWITCHBLADE 327 â™ª
â™ª ALL JUICED UP LIKE A HARD CARBURETOR SPITTIN' GAS ALL THE WAY â™ª
QUITE THE LADIES' MAN, AREN'T YA ?
SAY "HI" TO CRAIG. HE'LL BE HURTING YOU TODAY. HI, THERE.
â™ª OH, SWITCHBLADE 327 â™ª
â™ª RUNNIN' WAY AHEAD OF THE PACK â™ª
â™ª [ Continues, Indistinct ] â™ª
â™ª SWITCHBLADE FEELIN' KINDA LOST, PEOPLE DON'T CUT YOU NO SLACK â™ª
GET OFF ! GET... OFF !
â™ª BLACKTOP BURNOUT SATURDAY NIGHT â™ª
HEY ! [ Screaming ]
â™ª OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT WHEN HE GETS DRUNK HE FIGHTS ALL NIGHT â™ª
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND, STEVE.
MAN, I LOVE THIS PART !
DUCK !
OH, SH--
DAMN IT ! BRANDSTON !
[ Tom ] HELLO, SYRACUSE. WELL, WINTER IS FINALLY HERE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS-- ICE SCULPTURES.
KIDS A-WHACKIN' AND A-CARVIN' AND A-CHIPPIN' AWAY.
AND, OF COURSE, A BIG IDIOT DRESSED AS A MAGIC ELF.
TOM, DON'T DO THIS. THAT'S RIGHT,
IT'S OLD JACK FROST TAKING YOU ON A TOUR OF THIS YEAR'S WINTER JAMBOREE.
HEY, THAT'S SOME CAR, I GOTTA TELL YA.
I'D LOVE TO HAVE THAT THING IN MY GARAGE, WOULDN'T YOU ? [ Chuckling ]
OH, ISN'T IT AMAZING WHAT SOME KIDS WILL DO JUST TO EARN A MERIT BADGE ?
OH, GIMME A BREAK.
IT'S CHAD SYMMONZ. WHENEVER THERE'S WEATHER THAT AFFECTS OUR AREA,
HE'S THERE FIRST.
KIDS-- AS UNPREDICTABLE AS THE WEATHER.
MAY I BORROW THAT CHISEL FOR-- COME ON, JUST FOR A SECOND. HEY, LET GO.
HEY, YOU WANT THE MIKE ? TAKE THE MIKE. GIVE ME THAT ! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
I'M TELLIN' YOU. I JUST WANNA DO-- NO, NO.
[ Tom ] COME ON !
NO !
[ Arguing Continues ]
COME ON !
[ Man ] WATCH IT ! WATCH IT !
OH, HONEY.
NO.
NO ! NO !
[ Boy ] NO ! CHAD ?
OH, BOY. WHY, CHAD ?
WELL, THE BEAVER'S NICE.
THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP HERE. PHYLLIS, BACK TO YOU.
[ Sighs ]
LAURA ? I GOT IT !
YES ! JUST BE SURE YOU PATCH ME IN WHEN EVERYONE IS BEIJING IS READY, OKAY ?
I'M SO GOOD. YOU'RE ON IN TWO MINUTES.
SEE YA. BYE.
OKAY, OKAY, HERE WE GO.
PROJECT FILE-- OPEN.
POWER PEARLS-- ON.
UH, RANDY-- OUTSIDE.
RANDY ? RANDY !
RANDY ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
COME IN HERE RIGHT NOW ! RIGHT THIS MINUTE !
RANDY ? RANDY, RANDY, WHERE ARE YOU, HONEY ?
DON'T DO THIS. DON'T HIDE FROM MOMMY.
COME ON, RANDY. THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
SWEETIE PIE, IF YOU COME BACK, MOMMY WILL LET YOU PAINT ANYTHING YOU WANT.
YOU CAN EVEN PAINT MOMMY BLUE. PLEASE, HONEY, DON'T DO THIS.
YEAH, NONA, HI. IT'S ME.
YEAH. FORGET THE VIDEO PATCH. PATCH ME THROUGH ON THE CELL PHONE. JUST DO IT !
ALL RIGHT, ONE MINUTE.
AAH !
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO !
RANDY, STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
COME ON, MOM, SNOWBALL FIGHT ! FIGHT BACK ! NO, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING !
FIRE ! RANDAL TODD BRANDSTON, STOP THAT !
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. YOU UNDERSTAND ?
DID YOU HEAR ME ? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I SAID.
ALL RIGHT ! DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL MRS. HUFFNER ?
DO YOU ? IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
RANDAL !
AH ! YOU LITTLE-- ALL RIGHT, OKAY !
YOU WANNA FIGHT ? MOMMY'LL GIVE YOU A FIGHT.
[ Yells ] STOP IT ! YOU'VE GOTTEN BETTER THAN YOU WERE LAST YEAR.
HEY, WHAT'S THAT ?
OH ! [ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ] OH !
OW. [ Laughing ]
YOU ! I'M GONNA GET YOU !
[ Yelling ]
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
DOES MRS. HUFFNER DO THIS ? [ Laughing ]
SORRY, MELTAR. I BLEW IT.
I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT WITHOUT HAL. I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
[ Meltar ] WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE SEVENTH SON ARE YOU GOING ?
TO THE KITCHEN. I'M GONNA MAKE A GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWICH.
TSK, TSK, TSK. WEREN'T YOU GOING TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE ?
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY ? I LOST, EVIL WON-- THE END.
[ Together ] "I LOST, EVIL WON." BOO-HOO-HOO.
YOU THINK I WENT HOME AND ATE A GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWICH...
THAT DAY ON ANDROMEDA WHEN I GOT AMBUSHED BY THE NEUTRON TWINS ?
I GUESS NOT. AND DO YOU KNOW WHY ?
UH, BECAUSE YOU'RE LACTOSE-INTOLERANT ? QUIET, YOU FOOL. I'M TALKING.
NO, NATALIE. THERE ON ANDROMEDA, THINGS WERE LOOKING BLEAK.
LIKE YOU, I TOO HAD LOST A PARTNER.
FANGOR HAD ABANDONED ME TO CHASE SOME SPACE BABE ACROSS THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.
AND THERE I WAS, UP POOP RIVER WITHOUT A PADDLE.
AND ? STRANDED THERE ALONE,
WITH THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE HANGING IN THE BALANCE,
I REMEMBERED A LITTLE SAYING I LEARNED THE FIRST DAY AT THE ACADEMY.
YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW. "WINNERS NEVER QUIT, AND QUITTERS NEVER WIN."
WHAT ?
NO ! IT WAS "WINNERS NEVER QUIT AND QUITTERS SHALL BE CAST INTO THE FLAMING PIT OF DEATH."
OOH ! THAT'S GOTTA STING.
IT'S UP TO YOU, NATALIE. GATHER YOUR FORCES.
ONLY YOU CAN UNLEASH THE RAGE OF 100 SNOW DAYS...
THAT COULD'VE BEEN, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN...
IF NOT FOR HIM.
SNOWPLOWMAN.
[ Laughing ]
OH, MAN ! I THOUGHT YOU WERE CHUCK.
IT'S ME. YEAH.
SO, I GUESS YOU ESCAPED THE HOUSE OF PAIN. OH, YEAH, IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN ME. IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
SO, UM, TOUGH BREAK BACK THERE WITH CLAIRE.
NOTHING I CAN'T HANDLE. [ Laughs ]
COME ON, HAL !
LET ME BRING YOU BACK.
"BUT I LIKE ZEBRAS." A MINOR SETBACK.
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ?
HEY, I STILL SAY I FOUND THAT BRACELET FOR A REASON.
I REALLY DON'T WANNA HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THAT CRAPPY BRACELET.
IT'S NOT CRAPPY.
WHAT ?
FORGET IT. IT DOESN'T MATTER. YES, IT DOES.
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WASTED A WHOLE SNOW DAY ON THIS.
OH, AND WHAT MIND-BLOWING THING DIDN'T YOU GET TO DO TODAY ? PLEASE, TELL ME.
YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW. YES, LANE, I DO !
THIS.
YOU SAID ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
SURPRISE.
â™ª IF THE SUN SHOULD REFUSE TO RISE â™ª
â™ª AND THE MOON DOESN'T HANG IN THE NIGHT â™ª
â™ª THE TIDES WON'T CHANGE SEASONS REARRANGE â™ª
â™ª WHEN THE WORLD IS STILL â™ª
â™ª I WILL STILL LOVE YOU â™ª
[ Chanting ] CHAD ! CHAD ! CHAD !
THANK YOU, SALLY. THANK YOU, KEN.
WE'RE HERE ON WEST BURLINGTON STREET,
OR SHOULD I SAY WEST "BURRR-LINGTON" STREET,
WHERE I'M DELIGHTED TO SAY THIS RECORD-BREAKING SNOWFALL...
HAS NOT KEPT SOME OF MY WEATHER FANS FROM COMING ON OUT.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO FIND ANOTHER LOCATION ? HE WAS HERE FIRST.
WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ALL THIS SNOW, SPORTO ? IT'S GREAT !
YEAH, IT'S GREAT, ISN'T IT ?
KINDA CAUGHT YOU BY SURPRISE, DIDN'T IT ?
DON'T YOU WORRY. IT CAUGHT A LOT OF PEOPLE BY SURPRISE,
BUT OLD CHAD, LUCKILY FOR YOU,
WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME ONCE AGAIN.
YOU SEE-- I WOULD EXPECT NOTHING ELSE
FROM THE AREA'S NUMBER-ONE METEOROLOGIST.
WELL, THANK YOU. CHANNEL 6'S TOM BRANDSTON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
OR SHOULD I SAY, "OLD MAN WEATHER" ?
[ Symmonz ] THANK YOU, TOM. HIYA, FOLKS.
TOM.
THAT STORM REALLY FOOLED ME LAST NIGHT. HOW'D YOU CALL THAT ONE ?
THAT'S SOMETHING I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW. JUST CALL IT A HUNCH, TOM.
A HUNCH ? YEAH. THE COLD FRONT THAT CAME--
I GUESS THAT'S THE KIND OF THING YOU CAN'T LEARN IN WEATHERMAN SCHOOL.
I'M JUST KIDDING WITH YOU THERE.
I'M SURE WHEREVER YOU WENT, THAT'S WHEN YOU LEARNED...
THE UPPER ATMOSPHERIC SHIFT THAT WE HAD LATE LAST NIGHT...
LED TO THE SUDDEN TWO-POINT DROP IN THE FLEEBER INDEX.
WELL, OF COURSE, TOM ! OF COURSE. ANYHOW--
THERE IS NO FLEEBER INDEX, CHAD.
YOU'RE A FRAUD.
WELL, YOU'RE A JOKE, TOM. A JOKE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. TO PROVE YOU'RE NOT A FRAUD,
WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYBODY HERE-- WHY DON'T YOU TELL ALL OF US--
TELL US WHERE THIS COMES FROM.
[ Woman ] YEAH, CHAD.
WHAT, SNOW ?
SNOW.
SNOW. COME ON. WELL !
YOU KNOW, THE ESKIMOS...
HAVE EXACTLY 11 WORDS FOR SNOW.
BUT WE, ON THE OTHER HAND, WE ONLY HAVE ONE WORD,
AND THAT WORD IS... "SNOW."
YOU SEE, WHEN THE BAROMETRIC PRESSURE REACHES...
ALL THAT COLD, COLD WIND THAT COMES SWOOPIN' DOWN FROM OLD CANADA,
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, IT GOES THROUGH A PROCESS...
THAT TOM BRANDSTON KNOWS PERFECTLY WELL IS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION,
AND IT FORMS WHAT WE METEOROLOGISTS LIKE TO CALL...
THE WHITE STUFF.
YOU'RE A LOSER !
[ Crowd ] YEAH !
COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GET IN YOUR VAN AND GO ? NOW.
OH, YEAH, SURE. I'LL GO.
JUST AS SOON AS YOU TELL EVERYBODY WHO REALLY WAS THERE LAST NIGHT...
WHEN "THE BLIZZARD OF THE CENTURY CAME KNOCKING," AS YOU PUT IT SO WELL, CHAD.
[ Man ] WHO WAS IT, CHAD ? COME ON, CHAD.
TOM BRANDSTON.
I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T HEAR THAT ONE.
[ Everyone ] TOM BRANDSTON.
TOM... BRANDSTON.
TOM BRANDSTON.
â™ª [ Radio: Rock And Roll ]
HOW DID YOU KNOW I'D BE HERE ?
WELL, I KNEW YOU COULDN'T GO A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT DIVING.
DO YOU WANNA COME UP ?
[ Hal ] WELL, SO, THIS IS THE HIGH DIVE.
SURE IS... HIGH.
SO, "ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ON A SNOW DAY."
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID TO ME ON TV THIS MORNING.
IS THIS THE ANYTHING YOU HAD IN MIND ?
NO.
I, I MEAN, YES.
BELIEVE ME, THIS IS MORE THAN ANY-ANYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR.
IT'S--
IT'S JUST NOT THE ANYTHING THAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
MAN, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID ?
NO, NO, NOT ABOUT YOU, CLAIRE. ABOUT LANE.
LANE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I PUT HER THROUGH TODAY.
THEN WHEN SHE KISSED ME-- SHE KISSED YOU ? WHAT DID YOU DO ?
I CAME HERE.
OH, BOY. WELL, I GUESS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
[ Hal Narrating ] WHILE MY MISSION HAD JUST BEGUN,
SNOWPLOWMAN'S WAS NEARLY OVER.
BEFORE HIM LAY HIS LAST VICTIM: THE FINAL UNPLOWED STREET.
OH, YEAH. OOH.
TRUDY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT FROM HERE ?
ATTA GIRL. THERE WE GO. OKAY, BABY.
[ Laughing ] YOU GOT IT, GIRL. YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, TRUDY. DON'T YOU WORRY.
NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU THIS TIME.
WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A FREE PLOW RIDE,
I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR.
NOW, GET OUT OF MY WAY !
NO ! NO, HUH ?
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
OH, I HOPE THAT'S "NO" AS IN, "OH, NO, PLEASE, MR. SNOWPLOWMAN.
PLEASE DON'T ROLL OVER ME LIKE A HUMAN SPEED BUMP."
[ Laughing, Sniffing ]
"NO," AS IN, "YOU'VE STOLEN YOUR LAST SNOW DAY FROM US."
US ? [ Laughing ]
I DON'T SEE ANY "US" HERE.
ALL I SEE IS A WHINY LITTLE RUNT WHO'S GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW.
OH ! THAT'S TOO BAD, HUH ?
OOOH ! OH, NO ! NOW I'M SCARED ! OOOH !
[ Laughing ]
YOU WILL BE.
LISTEN TO THE WIND !
[ Howling Sound ]
THAT'S NOT THE WIND.
[ Imitating Wind Howling ]
[ Howling Continues ]
[ Chanting ] SNOW DAY ! SNOW DAY ! SNOW DAY !
SNOW DAY ! SNOW DAY !
[ Chanting Continues ]
CHARGE ! [ Shouting, Cheering ]
AAH !
[ Screaming ]
[ Everyone Laughing ]
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Snowplowman Laughing ]
OH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST SO FUNNY.
YOU DIMWITS ACTUALLY THINK YOU CLOBBERED ME.
[ Laughing ]
THE TRUTH IS, I'VE ALREADY WON. YEAH.
I HAVE. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I DON'T PLOW THIS STREET.
LOOK AROUND ! ALL THE OTHER STREETS ARE PLOWED.
YEAH ! I'LL SEE YOU IN SCHOOL TOMORROW. YEAH.
[ Chuckling ]
[ Mocking ] DIDN'T THINK OF THAT, DID YOU ? OHH.
ACTUALLY, WE DID ! WHAT ?
NOW THAT YOU'RE DONE PLOWING,
WE THOUGHT WE MIGHT DO A LITTLE "UNPLOWING."
[ Cheering ]
NO ! NO ! YOU CAN'T TAKE CLEMENTINE.
â™ª SHE WAS LOST AND GONE FOREVER â™ª
[ Everyone ] â™ª DREADFUL SORRY CLEMENTINE â™ª
[ Cheering ]
NO ! NOT CLEMENTINE ! COME BACK HERE !
SORRY YOU CAN'T JOIN US. NO !
IT'S GONNA BE A REAL HOO-HAH !
NO !
[ Sobbing ]
TRUDY.
TRUDY ? TRUDY !
[ Squawking ] AWK ! AWK !
â™ª [ Al Martino Over Speakers ]
LANE !
HEY, LANE ! [ Gasps ]
HI !
â™ª [ Continues ]
TO HELP STOP THE BLEEDING, APPLY PRESSURE DIRECTLY TO THE WOUND.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM ? NOTHING HAPPENED WITH ME AND CLAIRE.
SHE'D NEVER LEAVE ME. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING ?
WHAT FLAVOR GUM DOES SHE CHEW, CHUCK ?
LIKE I'M REALLY GONNA TELL YOU. YOU'RE A ZERO.
YOU'RE NOTHING, A ZIP. YOU GO OUT WITH OTHER ZIPS.
I'M NOT SURE I'M FOLLOWING YOU, CHUCK.
I'M CHUCK WHEELER. I GO OUT WITH CLAIRE BONNER.
YEAH ? WELL, NOT TECHNICALLY.
[ Groans ]
[ Hal ] UNBELIEVABLE.
NATS ? HAL.
OH, YOU TOTALLY SAVED MY BUTT !
HE WAS GONNA KILL ME !
YOU'RE DRIVING SNOWPLOWMAN'S TRUCK ?
PRETTY COOL, HUH ?
REMEMBER THIS MORNING WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T NEED YOU TODAY ?
I GUESS YOU WEREN'T KIDDING.
MELTAR AND I CAN TAKE CARE OF THE UNIVERSE, NO PROBLEM.
UM, I BORROWED HIM. DON'T WORRY. I DIDN'T SCRATCH HIM OR ANYTHING.
I SWEAR.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. HE BELONGS TO YOU NOW. YOU'VE EARNED HIM.
JUST BE CAREFUL, YOU TWO. THERE'S A LOT OF BAD OUT THERE.
[ Chuck Groaning ]
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE ?
WELCOME TO THE CHET AND WAYNE HOUSE OF PAIN.
WELL, WE GOTTA GET GOING. WE'VE GOT A LOT OF UNPLOWING TO DO.
ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU AT THE HOUSE.
OKAY.
LET'S GO, WAYNE. [ Groaning ]
HEY, NATS, SINCE WE'RE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER SNOW DAY TOMORROW,
I WAS WONDERING-- YOU DOING ANYTHING ?
COME ON, NATS. WE GOT A TRUCK TO DRIVE.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, BRANDSTON.
JUST WALK AWAY, YOU... CHICKEN.
[ Al Martino ] â™ª A ROSE MUST BE MADE â™ª
â™ª WITH THE SUN AND THE RAIN â™ª
â™ª OR ITS LOVELY PROMISE WON'T COME TRUE â™ª
â™ª TO EACH, HIS OWN â™ª
â™ª AND MY OWN IS YOU â™ª
â™ª WHAT GOOD IS A SONG â™ª
LANE ! W-- LANE, WAIT !
PLEASE ! WE GOTTA TALK.
WHERE'S CLAIRE ?
OH, DID MISS FANTASY GIRL SHOOT YOU DOWN ? GEE, WHAT A SURPRISE.
NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.
COULD YOU JUST GO AWAY ? I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.
WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN ? LOOK, BEFORE, WHEN YOU KISSED ME--
HAL, I REALLY DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT-- EVER.
WOULD YOU JUST HEAR ME-- OW ! [ Groaning ]
HAL ?
MY SPINE. LANE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME. I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.
[ Groaning ]
YOU'RE PATHETIC. AHH !
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE REFLEXES OF A DEAD COW.
[ Laughing ]
HAL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? WHAT IS ALL THIS ?
WASN'T IT YOU WHO SAID TRUE LOVE IS ALL ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE...
YOU CAN STAND TO BE AROUND FOR TEN MINUTES AT A TIME ?
YEAH.
YOU GOT TEN MINUTES ?
[ Hal Narrating ] YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW HOW
A SNOW DAY IS GOING TO TURN OUT,
BUT BY THE TIME THE SUN GOES DOWN, YOU MIGHT BE AMAZED TO DISCOVER...
YOU GOT TO WEAR PANTS AGAIN,
YOU GOT YOUR LIFE BACK... YES ! YES !
OR NOT.
AND IN THE END, YOU MIGHT EVEN DISCOVER THAT YOU SAVED THE UNIVERSE...
AND GOT A SECOND SNOW DAY.
SO, EVEN THOUGH THE SNOW WILL MELT, THE SCHOOLS WILL OPEN...
AND EVERYTHING WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL,
THE MIRACLE THAT BEGAN WITH A SINGLE PERFECT SNOWFLAKE...
WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER.
[ Hysterical ] I'M HOME ! I'M HOME.
I MADE IT. I MADE IT INSIDE.
MY OWN HOME !
WHY ? OH, WHY ?
OH, DON'T !
CLOSED-CAPTIONED BY CAPTIONS, INC. LOS ANGELES
â™ª I THINK THAT IT'S TIME THAT I SHOULD JUST LET YOU GO â™ª
â™ª SO I'LL TELL IT TO YOUR FACE INSTEAD OF TELL IT TO YOU ON THE PHONE â™ª
â™ª YOU SEE I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SPECIAL, BABY
â™ª SOMETHING UNIQUE â™ª
â™ª BUT LATELY I'VE COME TO FIND â™ª
â™ª THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN MY HEART OR MIND â™ª
â™ª THAT'S ALL RIGHT THAT'S OKAY â™ª
â™ª YOU NEVER LOVED ME ANYWAY â™ª
â™ª AND I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO JUST MOVE ON â™ª
â™ª THAT'S ALL RIGHT THAT'S OKAY â™ª
â™ª I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D HEAR ME SAY â™ª
â™ª THAT I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO FIND ANOTHER DUMB BLONDE â™ª
â™ª 'CAUSE IT'S NOT ME NO, NO â™ª
â™ª JUST A LITTLE TROPHY HANGING ON YOUR ARM â™ª
â™ª SO ALL YOUR FRIENDS WILL SEE YOU GOT IT GOIN' ON â™ª
â™ª BUT I SEE WHAT YOU ARE SO CLEARLY â™ª
â™ª BUT BABY, BABY THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME â™ª
â™ª THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THAT'S OKAY I NEVER LOVED YOU ANYWAY â™ª
â™ª THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THAT'S OKAY YOU NEVER LOVED ME ANYWAY â™ª
â™ª YOU NEVER LOVED ME â™ª
â™ª BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT â™ª
â™ª YEAH, YEAH â™ª
â™ª WHEN I SEE YOUR HEART LYING OPEN â™ª
â™ª I DON'T CLOSE IT BACK UP â™ª
â™ª BUT I JUMP ON IN â™ª
â™ª I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION â™ª
â™ª NO, I â™ª
â™ª I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU â™ª
â™ª I KNOW YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I KNOW YOUR NAME â™ª
â™ª I KNOW YOUR PASSWORD â™ª
â™ª AND YOUR CLAIM TO FAME â™ª
â™ª I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, BOY â™ª
â™ª MOST ALL THE TIME â™ª
â™ª I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING YEAH â™ª
â™ª AND WHO YOU SHOULD BE KISSING â™ª
â™ª AND IT'S NOT HER â™ª
â™ª SOMETIMES I THINK â™ª
â™ª IF YOU OPENED YOUR EYES AND LOOKED â™ª
â™ª THAT YOU WOULD FIND ME â™ª
â™ª RIGHT HERE â™ª
â™ª WHEN I SEE YOUR HEART LYING OPEN â™ª
â™ª I DON'T CLOSE IT BACK UP â™ª
â™ª BUT I JUMP ON IN â™ª
â™ª I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION â™ª
â™ª NO, I â™ª
â™ª I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU â™ª
â™ª 'CAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU â™ª