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When we received the grand jury
investigation from Pennsylvania,
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it was shocking and it was saddening.
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And then I sat down to try to figure out,
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"Well, how many priests
in the Kansas City area,
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the St. Louis area, and KCK
had been similarly abusive?"
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We have over 230 priests that we know of
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that have been
sexually abusive in this area.
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This is a problem that doesn't go away,
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and it needs to be
stopped as much as possible.
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[sighs]
I was a victim in St. Elizabeth's parish,
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where there were four
pedophile priests in the same rectory.
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I was in third grade when it started.
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It stopped in eighth grade,
when I moved away.
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I'm now 62 year…
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[exhales]
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[sobs]
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[sniffles]
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Sixty-two years old…
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[exhales]
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…and I still live the pain
for what happened to me
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when I was in grade school.
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It is an absolute poverty
that the statute of limitations
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is the crown jewel of the Catholic Church.
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What does God
and Jesus Christ think about that?
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[choral music playing]
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What do you ask of the Church?
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[parents] Baptism.
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Baptism.
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Godparents, are you ready
to help the parents of this child
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to raise him in the faith of the Church?
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[choral music continues]
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[baby gurgles]
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Let's get the fuck out of here.
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We will.
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I claim you for Christ.
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I baptize you in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
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[parents] Amen!
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[priest] May God,
the giver of all life, human and divine,
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bless the parents of this child.
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[baby whines]
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-[mother shushes]
-[baby cries softly]
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[choral music continues]
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[priest] We're gonna line you all up.
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I need you to grab
the holy water and put it on a table.
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-Yes, Father.
-Okay.
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[priest] I need you to grab the Bible
out of the cabinet over there, okay?
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-Set it on the table.
-[boy 1] Yes, Father.
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[priest]
And I need you to carry the cross.
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[boy 2] Yes, Father.
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[whispering] You have to understand,
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only special altar boys get this, okay?
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[boy 3] Yes, Father, thank you.
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[priest] And may
the perpetual light shine upon him.
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[clanging echoes]
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Pick it up. Pick it up.
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-[bell clangs]
-[priest] Pick it up.
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[ominous music playing]
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[music intensifies]
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[indistinct chatter]
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I have a Simon and Garfunkel
concert on video, remember…
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It's not super old,
probably about ten years ago.
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Hey, guys!
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Good morning, good morning!
What is all this?
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[laughs]
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-Hi, darling. How are you?
-[Rebecca] I'm good!
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-Hello, dear. [grunts]
-Hi, sweetheart.
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-[Rebecca] What is this?
-Just torturing my wife.
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[Rebecca laughs]
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00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,884
-Oh, hi!
-Hi, thanks for joining me.
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I'm Rebecca Randles and I'm an attorney.
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I've handled every childhood sex abuse
case in the Kansas City area, except one.
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-Hello, ladies.
-[woman] Somebody I haven't met.
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Hi, I'm Rebecca.
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Nice to meet you.
I'm Monica, I'm the drama therapist.
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-Oh, wonderful!
-Nice to meet you.
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[Rebecca]
We've represented over 400 victims
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of childhood sexual abuse
in the Catholic Church.
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-How are you today?
-Pretty good. How about you?
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When you first approached me
about casting this film,
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as you know, I was leery.
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You and I sat down and talked about,
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"How do we do this?
How do we cast? Should we do it?"
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And so kind of
the parameters that we chose
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were to look at those
who had been public first,
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who had been involved in press conferences
and that kind of thing,
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who'd actually spoken.
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[Ed] My name's Ed Gavagan.
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I came in from New York City,
where I live now.
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I grew up in Wyoming.
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There's a deep vein of shame,
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and I've never sat in a room, actually,
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with this many people
who have a common abuse story.
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[Dan] Uh… I'm Dan Laurine.
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I am a survivor
of the Kansas City Diocese.
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I actually work in commercial films
and productions here in Kansas City,
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and so I was contacted through Rebecca,
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uh…
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to see if I'd be
interested helping with this,
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and obviously
I'm very interested in helping with this.
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I mean, I have so much anger and hatred,
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I can't even put it into words.
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And it's not because
of the priest that did this to me,
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it's the Catholic Church,
the independent review board,
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and the archbishop.
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How they've treated me
for the last six years.
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They just blatantly lie.
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Lie, lie, lie.
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If I could just say,
you have a great voice.
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Like, you could have like this voiceover:
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[low-voiced] "In a world
where five young men come together."
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-[laughs]
-[Michael] Like the Darth Vader…
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[all chuckling]
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My name is Monica Phinney.
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I'm a registered drama therapist,
I live here in Kansas City, Missouri.
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Drama therapy is the intentional use
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of dramatic theater roleplay techniques
for a therapeutic goal.
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Trauma, in particular,
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I sort of view as
this sticky sort of thing,
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like, it gets you kind of stuck
in a certain part of your brain
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and it's very hard.
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We break free of that
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by putting it out into the world
in whatever way makes sense to us.
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We don't always understand
why we're painting what we're painting,
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or why we're, um, role-playing
the way that we are.
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But once it's out there in the world
in whatever way it's out there,
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we can take it back in through
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the logical and reasonable
part of our brains.
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As a drama therapist,
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using theater and role play
to achieve a therapeutic goal
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is also just letting the art do its job
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in providing a containment
so that we can do that safely,
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and that's a big part
of why I'm personally here.
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[Ed] For us, like,
I can't risk not being believed
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and I can't risk that I look like
I'm exploiting what happened to me.
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-And--
-[Michael] Or you look pathetic.
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I can't look like
a pathetic, emotional mess.
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-Yes.
-[Michael] That's not fair.
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[Ed] You know, cut to the weepy dude
who, you know, whatever.
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Now he's got a wife and a kid
and he's holding it together.
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-You know, golf clap. And, uh…
-[claps softly]
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Like, I'm a guy. I can--
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I'm a New York City contractor,
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I can chew the balls
of a union electrician
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and get my money back,
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but I can't talk about
what happened to me when I'm 13
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without choking up, and… and… you know.
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It's still very
incredibly painful for you.
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And it is, but in my mind
it's like, "They're not going to win."
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And that's how I cope with it.
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They're not going to win. That's just--
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And I have a way of blanking out too,
so it's okay. [chuckles]
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I do think that we are going
to hit some rough spots,
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as far as emotions.
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[Rebecca] Our biggest concern
is that everyone be safe.
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And I know that every time
that we call and say,
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"Hey, do you want to do a news conference?
Do you want to…" Whatever.
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For every single person we call,
it brings it all back.
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But if it's too painful,
we shouldn't do it.
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And Sasha Sanders has been the glue
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that has held most of these men together
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when we go through the litigation process.
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I've been in the background
of Rebecca's foreground
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for the last 24 years,
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and I think coming into this,
one of the things that might help
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is to think about being able to stand up
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for the little boy that couldn't.
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I want this to be like
a Marvel superheroes
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vanquishing
the fucking forces of darkness,
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if I can… [sobs]
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[Rebecca] Mm-hmm.
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The Hammer of Thor.
Like, you know, that would be great.
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[indistinct chatter]
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[man] 'Cause we're slowly developing
what this is gonna become.
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[Mike] Makes me sick to even be in there.
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It really does. I fucking hate this shit.
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I fucking hate it.
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Of course. We'll be in touch.
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Okay, see you later. Nice to meet you.
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-See you later.
-[Rebecca] All right.
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Thanks for all your help.
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Do you feel comfortable
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voicing those types of concerns
as we go through the process?
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If it doesn't make sense to us,
it doesn't make sense to both of us.
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So far. I mean,
I've only known him a couple hours.
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Because of our similar situations.
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I didn't realize
you didn't know each other.
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No. We've never met.
Today's the first time.
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-[Monica] Wow. Okay.
-We have Rebecca in common.
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-And now you have to…
-[Tom] There you go.
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…kiss the cross.
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-[Tom] No way, I'm not kissing it.
-[Ed laughs]
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[Michael] It's amazing
how clothes can have an effect on you.
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So…
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[man] So, is there anything of this
that you imagine being a character in?
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Probably the green.
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[man] You want to pick it out?
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[Michael] There's a symbol.
Everything there has a symbol, a meaning.
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[Ed] I remember these.
201
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,986
[Michael] Oh, the incense burner.
202
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,824
I mean, to this day,
it's like one of those smells that just…
203
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,619
You never smell it, and then when you do.
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00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:55,626
I don't know if there's another
physical artifact in the world
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00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,795
that I haven't held in 45 years.
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00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,590
[incense burner chain clanking]
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00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:19,900
[Ed] I always see my 13-year-old self
as a kid I used to know,
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00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,443
but not me.
209
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,988
And what the problem I'm having
210
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:27,157
is that I don't feel like
I have a connection to him.
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00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,286
So I don't know how to take care of him.
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00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:33,414
So, coming down the aisle with these guys,
213
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,749
this is melding me with the kid.
214
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,543
And now…
215
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,259
[sparse, emotional music playing]
216
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,971
[Michael]
It's an unusual approach to therapy.
217
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,933
And I agree with trying a new perspective
218
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:56,270
because the story's
been told so many… the same way.
219
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:59,899
And I think if I can help,
and I think you think so too,
220
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,276
we can help, that's what we want to do.
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00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:03,611
But I… you know,
222
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,322
I'm not going to self-flagellate
in front of a camera…
223
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,450
to have that result.
224
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,973
[line ringing]
225
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,063
-[male voice] Hello?
-Rick?
226
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:44,234
[Dan] Hey, so I'm working on a documentary
that we're filming here in Kansas City
227
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:49,198
about the survivors of the Kansas City
Catholic diocese sex abuse.
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00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,533
We basically have gotten together
229
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,119
and we're trying
to walk through each other's memories,
230
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,121
and the things that haunt us the most.
231
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,917
Each individual survivor
is writing their own…
232
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,419
script, basically.
233
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,006
But we have a few scenes
where we need a church,
234
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,510
and obviously, the Catholic diocese
isn't being very helpful
235
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:10,719
as far as that goes.
236
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,765
-[man 2] This is the original church.
-Yeah?
237
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,437
We put all new walls, new windows.
238
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:24,149
[Dan] So, one of the most enjoyable jobs
I get to do in film production
239
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,401
is location scouting.
240
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,778
I've been doing that for over 20 years.
241
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:32,950
I'm scouting locations
for the guys to film scenes in,
242
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:39,039
but it's equally as important
that when we visit those places,
243
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,250
it's an opportunity to
244
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,504
take back the power
of those places over us.
245
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:50,509
Because we were so young,
so tiny and fragile back then.
246
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,973
[emotional string music playing]
247
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,275
[man 3] And we do
rent this out for weddings.
248
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,487
Couple of dear friends of mine
got married in here.
249
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,990
[Dan] Where are the outlets
or electricity if they need it?
250
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,950
[man 3] They're out… out in the foyer.
251
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,119
[Dan] These are the questions
they're gonna ask me.
252
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,954
Can we plug in lights? Can we do this?
253
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:22,666
Uh…
254
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,586
I felt I was really gung-ho about it.
255
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,504
Like, "Yeah!
I want to make that documentary,"
256
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,673
when you called
and initially talked to me.
257
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,968
But, I mean,
the very first pastor I went up to…
258
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,057
[exhales]
259
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,774
Just kind of brings it
all to the surface again.
260
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,279
I guess there's that big hope
this is gonna be the thing
261
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,156
that actually puts it to bed.
262
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,547
[Mike] They engraved
the word "justice" in concrete,
263
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:13,133
which is just a blatant fucking lie.
264
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,677
They want the exact opposite of justice.
265
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,140
See, there it is. See it?
266
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:30,818
"It is an absolute poverty
the statute of limitations
267
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,196
is the crown jewel of the Catholic Church.
268
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,908
What does God think of that?"
269
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,285
[woman] Sir, can I help you?
270
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,245
[Mike] No.
271
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,206
Okay, this is private property.
I think you need to get off it.
272
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,251
Okay. All right, I'm leaving.
273
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,378
Know what makes me sick?
274
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,507
It's the word "justice"
engraved in concrete on that wall.
275
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,466
[scoffs]
276
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,303
How is the statute of limitations,
how is that "justice"?
277
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,557
I mean, you're against
the rape of children, aren't you?
278
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,309
[man 4] Yes, sir, I think anyone
who does that should go to jail.
279
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,352
[Mike] So…
280
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:08,063
Appreciate you listening to me.
Okay, take care.
281
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,690
-Will you hold on a second?
-Sure.
282
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,650
-Thanks. What was your name?
-Mike. Mike Foreman.
283
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:12,568
Mike? Okay.
284
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:16,405
Where were these cops
when I was 11 years old and I needed them?
285
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:17,614
[laughs]
286
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,369
You follow college football at all?
287
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:23,996
Not as much as I'd like to.
288
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:24,913
[both chuckle]
289
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,207
Unfortunately, we work those wonky hours.
290
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,751
There's a hell of a game Saturday.
LSU's at Alabama.
291
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,752
Okay.
292
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,298
So we'll-- You just won't be
allowed to come back on this property.
293
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,049
Thank you! [laughs]
294
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,307
[compressor whirring]
295
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,692
[Mike] Today is the six-year anniversary
296
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:57,029
of when I first met
with the independent review board.
297
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,657
This is back before I had
experienced any of their lies
298
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:04,244
and all of their
flat-out fucking bullshit,
299
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:09,249
so I wasn't even 10% as angry as I am now.
300
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:15,130
But even then, I told those assholes
on the independent review board
301
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,341
that I stain decks
302
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,219
and I work by myself
all day long every day,
303
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,387
and I'm alone with my thoughts.
304
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:27,184
And every fucking day, my blood boils.
305
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:30,270
And when it boils,
I've got nowhere to put it,
306
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,190
so it just fucking boils more.
307
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,318
[sanding]
308
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:40,530
[Mike] I'd like to see
Archbishop Joseph Naumann
309
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,824
hold an open press conference.
310
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,746
I'd like to ask him
how he arrived at the conclusion
311
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,790
that I have no credibility.
312
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,917
And that ridiculous letter he wrote me,
313
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,336
at the end of the letter, he said,
314
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:58,173
"It is my sincere prayer and hope
315
00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:01,802
that through God's
abundant and unfailing grace,
316
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:05,597
you are able to experience
healing and peace in your life."
317
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,475
And after he told me that, in writing,
318
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,894
about his own sincere prayer,
319
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:15,565
then he continued to lie
about my credibility,
320
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:20,028
and he spent several
hundred thousand dollars in legal fees
321
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,949
to use the cheap-ass
statute of limitations
322
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,618
to deny me my day in court.
323
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,731
[Rebecca] You know, we've been at it,
gosh, 30 years.
324
00:21:56,648 --> 00:22:00,319
Thirty years. 1992 was the first case.
325
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:06,575
And so we've been collecting material
about the Catholic Church since 1992,
326
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,369
and that's what we're
carrying back to the office.
327
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:10,912
[Michael] This whole garage is full.
328
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,581
And then you have more?
329
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:15,333
[Rebecca] Yeah,
'cause these aren't just boxes,
330
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,585
these are lives.
331
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:22,924
Where is this going?
332
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,304
[Rebecca] This is
every place that Monahan was.
333
00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:29,639
-Here's every place that O'Brien was.
-[papers rustling]
334
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:33,310
Every place that Tierney was,
every place that Reardon was.
335
00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:38,398
And so, St. Elizabeth's
was kind of the jumping off point
336
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:39,858
for all of these men.
337
00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:41,651
If we were to do a timeline,
338
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:45,447
O'Brien, first allegation is 1963.
339
00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:47,866
[Michael] Gets out in 2002.
340
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:51,119
[Rebecca] So, 40 years
after the first allegation.
341
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,663
[Michael] When I say,
"There were four there at the same time,"
342
00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:56,083
they can't figure out how could that be.
343
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:59,044
Because they're overlapping
in the hiding and the cover-up,
344
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,212
that's what happened.
345
00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:02,339
Almost like they spread out like a cancer
346
00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:04,633
and they kept poisoning everybody!
347
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:07,928
-[Rebecca] Oh! We have that chart.
-[Michael scoffs] We need a bigger chart.
348
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:15,185
[Rebecca] This is when
Lake Viking begins in earnest.
349
00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:18,647
He didn't own the property
in Lake Viking until the 70's.
350
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:21,233
[Michael] And when was Joe?
In the 70's? '77?
351
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,984
[Rebecca] Joe was in the early 80's.
352
00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:32,369
[Joe] I was a good Catholic boy,
353
00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:36,206
attended Nativity of Mary
church and elementary school.
354
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,917
Much of the abuse happened there
355
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,796
with Monsignor O'Brien and Father Honhart.
356
00:23:42,879 --> 00:23:45,006
And at one point,
357
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:49,886
Monsignor took me
and a couple other guys to his lake house
358
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,639
where he introduced us to Father Reardon.
359
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:57,269
I remember, uh, Father Reardon saying,
360
00:23:57,352 --> 00:24:00,564
"Come on,
let's show them how much fun this can be."
361
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,191
And that's when he raped me.
362
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:08,280
It kind of came as a shock
when it started coming out,
363
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:10,949
and it came out
in nightmares of Lake Viking.
364
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,409
[Sasha] How are you?
365
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:13,452
I'm good.
366
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:16,663
[Rebecca]
A lot of people start having nightmares
367
00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:20,000
before they begin
to have the memories flood back.
368
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:24,004
As a matter of fact,
it's probably the most common way
369
00:24:24,087 --> 00:24:28,633
that people remember things
that have been long repressed.
370
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:30,927
-[Joe] Well, it still happens.
-[Sasha] Okay.
371
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,722
[Joe] Which now I know are memories
and not necessarily nightmares,
372
00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:35,223
but they're just awful, awful…
373
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,349
-…memories.
-Yes.
374
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:37,893
So what's coming out now is
375
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,477
I'm now that boy.
376
00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:41,855
-Okay, that's--
-[Sasha] We talked about that.
377
00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:44,441
That's what's coming.
That's the nightmares I'm having.
378
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:53,116
I've worked with abused, neglected,
abandoned youth my entire adult life.
379
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:58,288
There's so many people
out there that can relate.
380
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:00,207
Do I have concerns?
381
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,834
Yes, I have concerns being re-traumatized.
382
00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:05,879
For years,
I would throw up every Sunday morning,
383
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,883
and not knowing even why
I was throwing up on Sundays.
384
00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:12,385
Church caused so much anxiety,
385
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:13,345
uh…
386
00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:17,766
but I do have several years
under my belt of dealing with this
387
00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:20,352
and knowing that I'm okay now.
388
00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:22,687
Knowing that I'm safe
and I'm okay with who I am.
389
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:28,652
-[Michael] Is this vodka?
-[man] Yes.
390
00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:29,736
[Michael] Perfect.
391
00:25:29,819 --> 00:25:33,657
[Dan] So as far as
what you want to do with the film,
392
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,868
do you want to recreate the nightmares?
393
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:40,830
[Joe] I really don't know,
but it might be interesting.
394
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:45,418
In my nightmares,
I'm running towards the house,
395
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,128
away from the threat.
396
00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:51,132
Sometimes it was
cowboys and Indians were shooting at me.
397
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,927
Other time, it was alien invaders.
398
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:57,931
And I run up to the house
and I should be relieved,
399
00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:04,646
but it's like the blackest,
thickest, heaviest blanket of evil.
400
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:08,441
Now you've realized you're
exactly where they wanted you to be.
401
00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:13,947
Uh, then a pair of eyes will open up
and will be these green eyes.
402
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:16,283
-[Michael] O'Brien had green eyes, right?
-[Joe] Yeah.
403
00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:21,121
Um, so, do I want
to go to Lake Viking? Yeah.
404
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,248
I do want to go to Lake Viking.
405
00:26:23,331 --> 00:26:26,585
You know,
is there something lurking there?
406
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:29,296
You know, and if I can eliminate that,
407
00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:31,423
then that may remove even more power
408
00:26:31,506 --> 00:26:33,842
out of these nightmares
of running to the house
409
00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:35,051
and just finding evil.
410
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:45,520
[Ed] When I was
a young boy in fourth grade,
411
00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:48,356
my family moved to Wyoming.
412
00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:51,901
You know, my Dad was gone.
413
00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:55,405
I had this void of a father figure.
414
00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,701
This new bishop showed up
415
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:03,580
and we knew that
he'd come from Kansas City,
416
00:27:04,622 --> 00:27:06,249
but that was all that we knew.
417
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:11,338
He was this larger-than-life figure,
you know?
418
00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:13,590
There were pictures of him with the Pope.
419
00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:17,344
So there's the public persona
of the great man,
420
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:19,220
and then there's the truth.
421
00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:24,225
And so for me, a scene that would help,
422
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,437
I thought of that movie, All That Jazz.
423
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,065
This idea of, "It's showtime!"
424
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:36,863
And so I thought, um, it would be
an interesting montage of hands
425
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:39,866
anointing the head
of a baby during baptism,
426
00:27:39,949 --> 00:27:41,117
a close-up of that,
427
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:44,287
and all of these positions of the power
428
00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:46,456
and the sacraments and the influence.
429
00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:52,504
And then, you know,
juxtapose that with his hands,
430
00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:56,424
um, yanking down my underwear.
431
00:27:57,967 --> 00:27:59,969
Is he allowed to do this to me?
432
00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:01,388
Doesn't seem right,
433
00:28:01,971 --> 00:28:05,350
and yet he's kind of
the definition of what's right.
434
00:28:06,601 --> 00:28:07,560
So…
435
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,440
I don't have anybody I can check with.
436
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:18,446
And checking with God was not working, so…
437
00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:20,865
-[Michael] Hey. How are you?
-How you doing?
438
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,367
-Good.
-[Ed] Good to see you.
439
00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:24,619
Nice to see the place again, wow!
440
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,788
He was transferred
to become the new bishop,
441
00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:28,206
so he got promoted.
442
00:28:28,289 --> 00:28:29,541
[laughs]
443
00:28:29,624 --> 00:28:30,750
Right? I mean, it's…
444
00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,919
"You molest boys,
let's promote and move you."
445
00:28:33,002 --> 00:28:34,838
Yeah! Move you to the middle of nowhere.
446
00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:37,424
So by these close-ups on the hands…
447
00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:40,135
I like the idea
'cause the power comes through the hands.
448
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:44,514
Do you think your hands
could be, you know, in the vestments?
449
00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:48,268
[Michael] Can-- I-- To control
your idea coming out, I think so.
450
00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:49,561
-Yeah.
-[Ed] And even--
451
00:28:49,644 --> 00:28:51,813
You don't want to do it?
Is it too close to you?
452
00:28:53,064 --> 00:28:54,607
-I guess, yeah.
-I like the idea.
453
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:55,608
Okay, sure.
454
00:28:55,692 --> 00:29:00,071
[Ed] And then, um, the other thing
I was thinking is we could go to Wyoming.
455
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:04,284
So I was thinking I would
call Bishop Bigler, the current bishop,
456
00:29:04,367 --> 00:29:07,871
and say that
we're working on this project,
457
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:13,084
and would it be possible
to film in the cathedral in Cheyenne?
458
00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:14,878
You'd get to go up to the bell tower
459
00:29:14,961 --> 00:29:17,630
where they had
this giant, braided-steel cable.
460
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:20,884
And if you pulled it
all the way down and hung on,
461
00:29:20,967 --> 00:29:24,429
you would get lifted up,
like you were flying.
462
00:29:24,512 --> 00:29:30,518
And so to go
ring that bell again and expose…
463
00:29:31,728 --> 00:29:34,022
-What was… Yeah.
-A new announcement, perhaps.
464
00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:42,781
[Michael] I said yes
to acting in Ed's scene
465
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:49,329
because Ed was
really, really damaged for a long time.
466
00:29:49,412 --> 00:29:51,206
Now, we're all damaged,
467
00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:53,124
but really, really hurt by it
468
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:58,463
and, you know, it's like
a little kid asking you to help them.
469
00:29:58,546 --> 00:30:02,967
And I think that's within all of us,
the child saying, "Help me."
470
00:30:09,724 --> 00:30:11,351
I had a very sheltered childhood
471
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:14,229
and my parents were very strict Catholics.
472
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:16,773
I went to five different grade schools,
473
00:30:16,856 --> 00:30:19,984
and so the last one
I ended up at was St. Elizabeth's.
474
00:30:21,027 --> 00:30:26,407
My molestation was at a swimming pool
475
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:28,159
in downtown Kansas City.
476
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,164
Uh, Father Tierney goes,
477
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:36,918
"Stop crying. I'll drop you off
to your parents. Nothing happened."
478
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:39,754
"This is what you do
with special friends and priests."
479
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,965
But I wouldn't stop crying.
480
00:30:43,841 --> 00:30:45,802
I get out and I run inside my house
481
00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:49,013
and my mom goes,
"What's wrong? Why are your eyes red?"
482
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,140
I said,
"It's the chlorine in the pool, Mom,"
483
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:52,475
and I ran up to my room.
484
00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:55,645
After that
I couldn't be around people with red hair.
485
00:30:55,728 --> 00:30:57,105
A certain color.
486
00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:59,983
The smell of chlorine
made me start almost vomiting.
487
00:31:06,948 --> 00:31:09,200
You know, I had people call me a liar.
488
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,535
I've been spit on.
489
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:14,205
Being treated like an enemy of the Church
490
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:17,792
instead of having them
try to help you was a complete shock.
491
00:31:30,221 --> 00:31:34,225
The pool where my abuse happened
has been torn down.
492
00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:40,815
And, to me,
a sense of place and a physical location
493
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,151
is incredibly important
494
00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:46,613
since, you know, I'm an interior designer.
495
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:49,115
And for my not to be there,
it's like something
496
00:31:49,198 --> 00:31:52,285
that will always be in
the back of my mind that I can't confront.
497
00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:57,540
I hope with these other guys,
they can confront it
498
00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:59,375
and then go on,
499
00:31:59,459 --> 00:32:01,544
and I just want
to help them get through it.
500
00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:08,217
[emotional string music playing]
501
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:24,192
[Ed] This was the Bishop's residence
502
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:30,239
and the Bishop's bedroom
was up on the left.
503
00:32:30,323 --> 00:32:33,076
And then he would
take me back to Kansas City.
504
00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:36,454
"It's going to be fun.
We're going to see the Royals play."
505
00:32:36,537 --> 00:32:38,706
But did they have someone with them?
506
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:41,250
-[Ed] They had boys with them.
-Yes, that's what I remember.
507
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:43,294
It was kind of like,
"Look, what I brought!"
508
00:32:43,378 --> 00:32:45,088
-[Ed] Fan club, yeah.
-"I've got this one!"
509
00:32:45,171 --> 00:32:50,051
And he was showing me off
to all the guys who had their boys.
510
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,260
[Ed] Hmm.
511
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:54,013
I don't think I've been inside this church
512
00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:59,936
in, uh, more than 30 years, probably.
513
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,481
[door creaks]
514
00:33:07,443 --> 00:33:12,323
[choir singing hymn]
515
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:35,930
[priest 2] Almighty ever living God,
you have restored us to life
516
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,767
by the blessed death
and resurrection of your Christ.
517
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,479
Preserve in us the work of your mercy,
518
00:33:43,563 --> 00:33:46,858
that, partaking of this mystery,
519
00:33:46,941 --> 00:33:52,030
we may have
a life unceasingly devoted to you.
520
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:54,657
Through Christ our Lord.
521
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:59,746
[congregation] Amen.
522
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:03,332
[priest 2] I want to add
a petition today for healing.
523
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,795
For those in society
and those in the church,
524
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:11,632
for all those who
have been harmed by sexual abuse,
525
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:15,261
that the healing of the Lord
would wash over them
526
00:34:15,344 --> 00:34:20,224
and that the community of believers
would accompany them with great love.
527
00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:23,978
Through Christ our Lord.
528
00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:28,441
[congregation] Amen.
529
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:30,401
[priest 2] You may be seated.
530
00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:45,124
[whispering]
First time anyone's been nice like that.
531
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:47,376
From any clergy at all.
532
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:49,462
-Especially… Especially a bishop.
-Yeah.
533
00:34:49,545 --> 00:34:50,963
-I feel seen.
-I get it.
534
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:52,340
-[Ed] How you doing, man?
-Good.
535
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,884
[Ed] Thanks for…
Thanks for going through this with me.
536
00:34:54,967 --> 00:34:56,135
Of course.
537
00:34:59,597 --> 00:35:01,224
So this is the…
538
00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,309
where all the priests would get dressed.
539
00:35:05,686 --> 00:35:07,438
And I had, uh…
540
00:35:08,314 --> 00:35:10,858
Did kind of some sketches.
541
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:15,822
This would be like, um,
before getting ready.
542
00:35:15,905 --> 00:35:18,116
-So this would be like, tying their shoes.
-Uh-huh.
543
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:22,370
You know, and I just feel like
the hands are the kind of the easiest.
544
00:35:22,453 --> 00:35:24,413
Like, you don't need a lot of props.
545
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,498
That's powerful.
546
00:35:25,581 --> 00:35:26,582
[Dan] Right?
547
00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:32,088
-[Dan] That's it?
-[Ed] That's it.
548
00:35:32,171 --> 00:35:33,422
[Michael] Oh, you're kidding.
549
00:35:33,506 --> 00:35:37,218
[Ed] You pull this.
Pull this all the way down.
550
00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:39,428
[Dan] Was it a rope then?
Has it always been a cable?
551
00:35:39,512 --> 00:35:41,013
[Ed] It was always the braided steel.
552
00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:50,398
-[Ed] What's that?
-[guide] You can pull it if you want.
553
00:35:50,481 --> 00:35:52,066
-[Dan] Here we go.
-All right, here we go.
554
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,694
-[Dan] Big smile. Look at that smile.
-[Michael] I know, it's like…
555
00:35:57,113 --> 00:35:59,740
[bell rings]
556
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,826
[laughs]
557
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:08,249
[Michael] Oh my gosh.
And you just keep pulling?
558
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:11,544
And bouncing like that. Oh, how fun.
559
00:36:11,627 --> 00:36:13,754
[bell continues ringing]
560
00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:15,006
[mouths] Wow.
561
00:36:26,183 --> 00:36:27,143
It sounds like…
562
00:36:32,356 --> 00:36:34,525
[ringing continues]
563
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:42,950
[ringing continues]
564
00:36:45,786 --> 00:36:49,123
[ringing fades]
565
00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:05,765
♪ But my dreams, they aren't as empty ♪
566
00:37:05,848 --> 00:37:07,892
["Behind Blue Eyes"
by The Who playing on stereo]
567
00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:13,356
♪ As my conscience seems to be ♪
568
00:37:13,439 --> 00:37:15,441
[man] Mike. Hey. Stop for a sec.
569
00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:17,944
♪ I have hours-- ♪
570
00:37:18,027 --> 00:37:19,028
[song halts]
571
00:37:19,111 --> 00:37:20,988
[man] How long have you been doing that?
572
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,282
-This?
-Yeah.
573
00:37:23,783 --> 00:37:25,660
Shortly after this shit happened to me.
574
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:29,747
I've been-- My whole life,
I isolated myself.
575
00:37:29,830 --> 00:37:32,667
When I was in high school,
I was down in my parents' dark basement
576
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:33,834
for hours a day.
577
00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:35,711
[exhales]
578
00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:38,965
My first therapist told me
that she thinks when I do this
579
00:37:39,048 --> 00:37:41,717
I put myself in a dissociative state.
580
00:37:42,718 --> 00:37:45,596
I mean, I just--
If I don't do this, I'm just not right.
581
00:37:46,138 --> 00:37:48,391
["Behind Blue Eyes" restarts]
582
00:37:48,474 --> 00:37:49,934
[groans]
583
00:37:53,187 --> 00:37:59,944
♪ And if I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat ♪
584
00:38:00,027 --> 00:38:01,779
[Mike] Now,
when Naumann wrote me his letter,
585
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:07,952
he calls it "the independent review board"
three times in writing!
586
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:10,621
I go there,
there's a fucking Catholic priest.
587
00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:14,250
He's used to people
lapping up his lies like eager puppies.
588
00:38:14,333 --> 00:38:15,584
My abuser's dead.
589
00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:21,465
Oh, fuck. Oh, Goddamn,
I hate this motherfucker!
590
00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:25,553
Look at him right here!
What a fucking piece of shit.
591
00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:27,221
The reason I can't move forward
592
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:30,182
is not because
of the priest that assaulted me,
593
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:33,310
it's because of
this fucking asshole right here,
594
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:34,854
and the Catholic Church!
595
00:38:34,937 --> 00:38:37,815
I didn't recover these memories till 2011.
596
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:39,608
When I told my Dad, I said--
597
00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:42,528
I've always called my dad
by his first name. His name's Doug.
598
00:38:42,611 --> 00:38:45,698
I said, "Doug, have you ever noticed
599
00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:50,703
I have never had
a romantic relationship in my life?"
600
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:53,205
And from the second
I said that, I regret--
601
00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:56,709
Just the look on his face,
I wish I hadn't said that to him.
602
00:38:57,752 --> 00:39:00,296
He passed in 2017.
603
00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:02,590
He was the only person, really,
604
00:39:02,673 --> 00:39:06,052
that had the mental stamina
to listen to me.
605
00:39:06,135 --> 00:39:08,429
Big Tom, I know what
you've been through, man.
606
00:39:08,971 --> 00:39:12,183
[Monica] Okay, so today
is a brainstorm session
607
00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:16,228
related to Mike's story.
608
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:20,691
I think that the anger is,
to an extent, comforting.
609
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:25,321
So I think it's… even letting go
of any amount of anger is scary.
610
00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:27,615
[Joe] Your anger is justified.
611
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:31,577
And no one can
really take that away from you,
612
00:39:32,328 --> 00:39:34,455
any more than anyone can take it from me.
613
00:39:34,538 --> 00:39:37,291
[Tom] But I think Mike
has gone through this so many times,
614
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:39,043
that's all he knows right now,
615
00:39:39,126 --> 00:39:40,753
and we need to change that--
616
00:39:40,836 --> 00:39:43,714
Or you need to change that,
for your benefit.
617
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:49,095
[Dan] So, my brother and I
went in for the independent review.
618
00:39:49,595 --> 00:39:52,598
And we went in there
and it was a whole table of people
619
00:39:52,681 --> 00:39:55,351
wanting us to tell these stories
we haven't told each other.
620
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:56,727
We haven't told anybody.
621
00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,146
But our mother set this up,
622
00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:01,107
and we're both…
623
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:04,902
turning back into little boys,
624
00:40:05,778 --> 00:40:06,737
scared,
625
00:40:07,571 --> 00:40:10,199
and trying to explain
to these people what happened to us.
626
00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,119
And they're…
627
00:40:13,953 --> 00:40:15,121
uh…
628
00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:17,706
-[exhales]
-[whispers] Take your time.
629
00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:19,208
I can't remember who it was…
630
00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:23,003
the head person at the tables,
631
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:27,466
as we finally tell our stories
and, you know, it's time to wrap it up,
632
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:30,719
and he says,
"Tell your mother we're sorry."
633
00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:33,681
That was his response to me.
634
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,100
And I lost it, and I said,
635
00:40:36,183 --> 00:40:39,437
"You tell my mother you're sorry,
'cause she still believes in you."
636
00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:44,483
So I know that anger.
637
00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:47,111
I've never
been the same since that review.
638
00:40:47,194 --> 00:40:49,447
That's when everything
started coming back out.
639
00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:51,574
That's when everything unraveled for me.
640
00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:54,994
You mentioned your brother?
641
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:57,621
[Dan] Yes, my older brother, Tim,
642
00:40:58,497 --> 00:41:01,125
was a victim of Monahan as well.
643
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:04,128
I don't know what
I'm looking for with my brother,
644
00:41:04,211 --> 00:41:07,131
whether it's connection,
whether it's relief, whether it's…
645
00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:14,013
Closure? I'm not sure.
646
00:41:14,096 --> 00:41:16,015
But I want
something to happen out of that,
647
00:41:16,098 --> 00:41:18,851
I want something to come to surface.
I want he and I to talk.
648
00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:24,064
[Mike] I think we should do a reenactment
of this independent review board,
649
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:27,067
just so the public knows
there was a Catholic priest.
650
00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:29,528
You want them to know
it's not what it was supposed to be?
651
00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:30,446
Absolutely.
652
00:41:30,529 --> 00:41:33,115
It was in a room,
not much bigger than this,
653
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:34,491
and there was just a table.
654
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,827
[Monica] Did you ever have the opportunity
655
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:39,622
to be in the same room
with any of those four people again?
656
00:41:39,705 --> 00:41:41,165
No. No.
657
00:41:41,957 --> 00:41:43,334
[Monica] Would you have liked to?
658
00:41:43,417 --> 00:41:45,002
I'd love to talk to them right now!
659
00:41:48,130 --> 00:41:50,674
Uh, but I want to find
the picture of Lake Viking.
660
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,509
Yeah, I'm looking for it.
661
00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:55,888
I have a picture on here,
but every time I try to click on it,
662
00:41:55,971 --> 00:41:58,933
it says it is corrupt
and can't be brought up.
663
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:02,186
Let's see if I can do it
in a different version.
664
00:42:02,269 --> 00:42:03,771
-[gasps]
-[women] There it is.
665
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:13,197
[Rebecca] We have the deeds
666
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,950
and we've got all
the information that shows
667
00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:17,701
that O'Brien owned it.
668
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,913
-[Dan] Did Monahan go to that lake too?
-[Sasha] He didn't.
669
00:42:20,996 --> 00:42:22,873
No, he went to a different lake.
670
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,667
[Dan] Do you know anything about his lake?
671
00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:26,377
It's such the same story.
672
00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:30,548
Like, it's just exact same story as mine
in going to the lake.
673
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:32,633
[Joe] You went to a lake?
674
00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:35,052
Oh, yeah. My brother and I both did.
675
00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:36,095
[exhales]
676
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:38,681
I think you should give him a hug.
677
00:42:38,764 --> 00:42:40,015
[all chuckle softly]
678
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:43,143
[Dan] I'm here for you.
We're doing the same path.
679
00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:46,105
[Rebecca] Don't be disappointed
if you can't get on the property.
680
00:42:46,188 --> 00:42:48,691
Lake Viking is a private lake.
681
00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:51,652
We've never actually
been able to get into the property
682
00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:53,946
to see where O'Brien's house was.
683
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,782
[emotional string music playing]
684
00:43:03,706 --> 00:43:06,375
[Dan] We're going
to scout Lake Viking for Joe.
685
00:43:07,710 --> 00:43:12,423
He's not sure if he wants to film
his nightmare scenes there yet.
686
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:17,678
I'm wondering though,
see how that boathouse has two openings?
687
00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:19,763
-Right.
-That what he meant by two docks?
688
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:22,891
Brick fireplace, brick sides.
689
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:27,938
The goal is to actually find that house
and kind of introduce it in little bits.
690
00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:31,442
Show it to him and see how he reacts,
691
00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:33,402
and then he can process that,
692
00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:37,489
if he wants to come out
and visit and film there.
693
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:44,788
You know what's crazy?
694
00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:48,542
I was just thinking I might fall apart
if it was my place to go back and visit,
695
00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:50,169
but because it's Joe,
696
00:43:50,252 --> 00:43:54,173
I'm actually more vigilant
trying to get this than I would be.
697
00:43:55,215 --> 00:43:56,634
Just to do it for Joe.
698
00:43:56,717 --> 00:43:58,177
I think that's the whole point.
699
00:43:58,260 --> 00:44:01,388
People do things for other people
sometimes they don't do for themselves.
700
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:02,389
[Sasha on phone] Hello?
701
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:05,059
Yes, darling. "Don't leave the lake,"
what does that mean?
702
00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:07,436
Just don't leave the lake yet.
703
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:11,315
I have calls into the victims
that actually were abused at that lake.
704
00:44:11,398 --> 00:44:14,026
-Somebody remembers that lot number…
-[Joe on phone] Hey, what's up?
705
00:44:14,109 --> 00:44:16,445
[Dan] I was just calling
you from a dock at Viking Lake.
706
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,907
-[Joe] Really?
-Yeah.
707
00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:21,408
You know, we shot it from the lake.
708
00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:24,411
Now we're gonna shoot ones
we think are close to what you described.
709
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,539
-Then I can text you some pictures?
-[Michael] 348. Okay, thank you, Sasha.
710
00:44:27,623 --> 00:44:28,624
[Joe] Okay.
711
00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:31,168
[Michael] Lot 348, they found it.
712
00:44:37,132 --> 00:44:38,592
With the light shining through,
713
00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:41,970
I got a pretty good picture of the foyer
and the living room in there.
714
00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:43,222
I'm sending that to Joe.
715
00:44:44,223 --> 00:44:46,558
"The last pic,
the one with pointed roof and porch,
716
00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:48,352
although it's not exact in my memory,
717
00:44:48,435 --> 00:44:51,271
did make my heart start pumping fast
and my anxiety to raise."
718
00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:52,314
[Michael] That one.
719
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,319
[wave laps gently]
720
00:45:02,282 --> 00:45:05,160
[Michael] He's Augustus Maximus,
and I've had him-- He's 14.
721
00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:07,705
I had to wait years to get him
722
00:45:07,788 --> 00:45:10,457
because the breeders won't give you a dog
723
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:12,876
if you have children under five
724
00:45:13,585 --> 00:45:17,381
because their legs are so
fragile, they'll just snap them.
725
00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:18,674
They'll just snap.
726
00:45:19,174 --> 00:45:20,008
[barks]
727
00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:23,053
[Michael] They say the dogs
and certain owners look alike.
728
00:45:25,597 --> 00:45:28,684
I would like to look like that dog,
so that would be fine with me.
729
00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:29,643
So, anyway.
730
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,603
[tinfoil crumpling]
731
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:33,814
[dog barks]
732
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,732
Oh, okay, boo-boo.
733
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:37,401
[Michael] The dog loves my mom.
734
00:45:38,110 --> 00:45:42,364
Just need a little more balsamic vinegar.
735
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,158
[Michael] It's underneath, Dad.
I'll get it.
736
00:45:45,617 --> 00:45:48,328
Find a couple bowls
I'll put the meatballs in.
737
00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:52,291
[Michael] We're about to start
actually filming scenes for the project
738
00:45:52,374 --> 00:45:54,042
and my scenes are up first.
739
00:45:55,294 --> 00:46:00,174
I just don't want this film
to be a negative thing,
740
00:46:00,257 --> 00:46:04,052
because my parents
would feel horribly guilty,
741
00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:07,139
and, you know, it wasn't their fault
742
00:46:07,222 --> 00:46:09,600
and I don't want them to lose faith.
743
00:46:10,559 --> 00:46:12,603
Basically, it's just, I want it simple,
744
00:46:12,686 --> 00:46:16,440
but clear that from
the minute you're baptized,
745
00:46:16,523 --> 00:46:18,776
that power starts.
746
00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,611
Right, the parents have the baby,
747
00:46:20,694 --> 00:46:22,362
then Tom greets them…
748
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,406
It's incredibly upsetting to me
749
00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:27,618
that they use these rituals and symbols
750
00:46:27,701 --> 00:46:31,955
that are supposed to be helpful
and bring you closer to God,
751
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:34,416
just to hurt you.
752
00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:37,586
You just knew
you didn't talk back to them.
753
00:46:37,669 --> 00:46:39,379
Your parents may say obey them,
754
00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:40,672
but it went beyond that.
755
00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,884
I would love to push them
down the stairs at the end or something,
756
00:46:43,967 --> 00:46:45,928
but you know, do you have any other ideas?
757
00:46:46,011 --> 00:46:47,346
Do we use the same actors?
758
00:46:47,888 --> 00:46:49,389
[Michael] Oh, I dunno, I mean…
759
00:46:50,098 --> 00:46:54,895
Though does that sync the point across
that it's always the progression,
760
00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:57,231
-but it's always the same thing?
-The same people.
761
00:46:57,314 --> 00:46:59,650
It's always the same method they use?
762
00:46:59,733 --> 00:47:02,819
[Michael] I think that'd be great
to have that one boy,
763
00:47:02,903 --> 00:47:04,363
'cause we're all that one boy.
764
00:47:04,446 --> 00:47:09,159
Forgive me, Father, for I have failed
to do right and succeeded in doing wrong.
765
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:13,580
Forgive me, Father, for I have failed in
doing right and succeeded in doing wrong.
766
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:18,585
Forgive me, Father, for I have failed
to do right and succeeded in doing wrong.
767
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:24,883
Forgive me, Father, for I have failed
to do right and succeeded in doing wrong.
768
00:47:25,467 --> 00:47:29,012
[Dan] So that's actually
my line from when I was a kid.
769
00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:32,599
It took me a long time
to come up with this line,
770
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:34,268
to take the ammo away from him,
771
00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:35,811
to take the power away from him.
772
00:47:35,894 --> 00:47:38,981
So I can walk in, say this to him,
773
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:41,567
and it's kinda like
sticking it to the man.
774
00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:43,819
Like, "I'm not giving you one thing."
775
00:47:43,902 --> 00:47:45,988
"You don't get to use
anything against me."
776
00:47:46,071 --> 00:47:49,324
Forgive me, Father, for I've failed
to do right and succeeded in doing wrong.
777
00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:53,787
Forgive me, Father, for I have failed to
do right and succeeded in doing wrong.
778
00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:55,747
Yeah, the thing about the last one was,
779
00:47:55,831 --> 00:47:58,292
I do identify with him
because he's a little badass.
780
00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:00,836
-[Michael chuckles] Yeah.
-[Dan] There's something defiant.
781
00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:10,470
[Michael] We're going Tuesday to tour
for a scene in one of the churches,
782
00:48:10,554 --> 00:48:11,888
so we're scouting them.
783
00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:16,101
I still can't believe we're getting
in the churches. That's a major thing.
784
00:48:16,184 --> 00:48:17,978
It was quite an eye-opener
785
00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:21,231
that actually someone
cared enough to help.
786
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:24,359
-Yeah, they've renovated.
-[woman] Mm-hmm.
787
00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:27,613
I think those confessionals
are about the same.
788
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:29,323
I mean, I love the columns.
789
00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:32,159
I wouldn't have done it,
but I love… they're beautiful.
790
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,912
-Yeah.
-There's a light up there.
791
00:48:34,995 --> 00:48:36,580
I know, but does it go on?
792
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:41,793
[whispering] I can't help myself.
793
00:48:42,336 --> 00:48:43,503
[Michael] Don't do it, Dan!
794
00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:46,590
I'm thinking, I don't know,
like a horror movie almost.
795
00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:51,386
I want the priest, Tom,
to have those green eyes that, um…
796
00:48:51,470 --> 00:48:52,888
-[Dan] Joe was…
-Joe was afraid of.
797
00:48:52,971 --> 00:48:54,264
It really freaks him out
798
00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:57,225
and maybe he can run up
and try to escape and go there,
799
00:48:57,309 --> 00:48:58,560
and like, look down.
800
00:48:58,644 --> 00:48:59,895
One, two, three.
801
00:48:59,978 --> 00:49:02,439
They turn and look there,
and he's shaking,
802
00:49:02,522 --> 00:49:04,733
but he's seeing back down to the demon.
803
00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:06,485
Something like that.
804
00:49:06,568 --> 00:49:08,862
-Then this has become part of it.
-Part of it.
805
00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:10,572
-Enablers.
-The enablers!
806
00:49:18,872 --> 00:49:19,748
Oh.
807
00:49:21,708 --> 00:49:22,668
What do you think?
808
00:49:22,751 --> 00:49:27,255
This is more like
the churches that I remember as little.
809
00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:29,049
Holy Rosary was similar, but not…
810
00:49:29,132 --> 00:49:31,259
-I mean, look at the windows.
-Stunning.
811
00:49:31,885 --> 00:49:34,554
[Michael] You never think
something bad might happen here.
812
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,306
That's the weird part.
813
00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:40,644
[melancholic music playing]
814
00:49:51,738 --> 00:49:53,699
[Ed] That whole visual is pretty great,
815
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:55,909
from the background of Tom.
816
00:49:56,576 --> 00:49:59,621
Yeah. So are you okay being here?
817
00:50:00,455 --> 00:50:02,124
I am. It's, um…
818
00:50:03,291 --> 00:50:06,086
Somehow the stage set
aspect of it is a big help.
819
00:50:06,169 --> 00:50:09,214
Oh my gosh, changed
everything for me. I froze outside.
820
00:50:10,924 --> 00:50:17,681
[Ed] It's really helpful to see,
you know, the shattered city
821
00:50:17,764 --> 00:50:22,227
and all the Avengers
are converging on this… perch.
822
00:50:22,310 --> 00:50:24,312
And they're like, "Okay, here we go!"
823
00:50:24,396 --> 00:50:25,480
[Joe] Yeah.
824
00:50:25,564 --> 00:50:28,233
[Ed] And somehow, we're going to make a…
825
00:50:29,234 --> 00:50:30,902
We're going to make our point.
826
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:37,743
[Michael] Cross all them, 'cause
the dolly is going to move that fast.
827
00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:39,369
[man] So, where is the coffin?
828
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:40,579
In the center.
829
00:50:40,662 --> 00:50:41,663
And then you kind of…
830
00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:42,664
Then he coughs.
831
00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:44,458
[Tom] It'll be… It'll be all right.
832
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:46,293
Close. He coughs. [imitates cough]
833
00:50:46,376 --> 00:50:49,796
So… And then you kind of laugh
like that knowing laugh that happens.
834
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,798
Then you freeze like your--
835
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:53,508
Now, you know something's wrong.
836
00:50:53,592 --> 00:50:55,844
You still really don't know,
but you're terrified.
837
00:50:55,927 --> 00:50:57,554
That look of like, "What?"
838
00:50:57,637 --> 00:51:00,682
-You know it's wrong.
-Whatever is happening, you know is wrong.
839
00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:03,143
[Tom] Are you okay? With all that?
840
00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:04,186
[boy] Oh, yeah.
841
00:51:06,813 --> 00:51:08,231
-[woman] Can I share?
-[man] Please.
842
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:11,693
So, when we, um…
when we originally read the script,
843
00:51:11,777 --> 00:51:14,362
our first conversation of it was,
844
00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:17,282
"We're not even going
to tell Terrick about this opportunity,"
845
00:51:17,365 --> 00:51:19,785
because it was heavy
for us as parents. Um…
846
00:51:20,952 --> 00:51:23,538
Then we talked about it a little more
and we slept on it,
847
00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:26,333
and then we talked
to Terrick, said, "Okay, look,
848
00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,252
your agent sent this,
we want you to look at it."
849
00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:30,837
He read it. Um…
850
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,840
He looked at us, like, very casual.
851
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:36,343
We were the ones
that were so worked up over it.
852
00:51:36,426 --> 00:51:37,344
Um…
853
00:51:37,427 --> 00:51:40,222
And he said,
"Okay. Yeah, I want to do it."
854
00:51:40,847 --> 00:51:42,349
"This really happened?"
855
00:51:42,432 --> 00:51:44,142
And I said, "It did really happen."
856
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:46,436
And he said,
"But it's not my reality, Mom."
857
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,438
"I mean, it's just… it's acting."
858
00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:49,981
I think it'll be best
859
00:51:50,065 --> 00:51:52,317
if everybody just assumes
there's gonna be things
860
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,402
you need to shake off
at the end of the day
861
00:51:54,486 --> 00:51:56,446
in whatever way works for you personally.
862
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:59,366
The goal is to just, as much as possible,
863
00:51:59,449 --> 00:52:01,243
tell our brains and our bodies
864
00:52:01,326 --> 00:52:03,787
that we are done with what happened today.
865
00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:06,581
As much as it's going
to integrate into our lives,
866
00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:08,667
we are not in that role right now.
867
00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:13,088
[choral music playing]
868
00:52:16,299 --> 00:52:17,217
[baby cries]
869
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:23,473
I baptize you in the name of the Father
and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
870
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:24,683
[parents] Amen.
871
00:52:27,477 --> 00:52:31,022
[priest] May God, the giver of all life,
human and divine,
872
00:52:31,106 --> 00:52:33,358
bless the parents of this child.
873
00:52:34,025 --> 00:52:36,403
They give thanks for this new life.
874
00:52:39,322 --> 00:52:41,241
-[door slams]
-[priest] The body of Christ.
875
00:52:52,002 --> 00:52:53,086
[priest] The body of Christ.
876
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,171
Amen.
877
00:52:55,380 --> 00:52:56,715
-Body of Christ.
-Amen.
878
00:53:01,094 --> 00:53:02,762
-Body of Christ.
-Amen.
879
00:53:07,183 --> 00:53:08,602
-Body of Christ.
-Amen.
880
00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:13,773
-[priest] The body of Christ.
-Amen.
881
00:53:20,906 --> 00:53:23,116
[priest] I'm sure glad
that long mass is over.
882
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:28,038
Come here, young man.
Why don't you have a drink with me?
883
00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:31,499
-Cheers.
-[boy] Cheers.
884
00:53:34,669 --> 00:53:35,545
[coughs]
885
00:53:36,546 --> 00:53:38,590
It's your turn to disrobe, go ahead.
886
00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:45,430
[bell tolls]
887
00:54:01,029 --> 00:54:03,031
[ominous music playing]
888
00:54:35,522 --> 00:54:39,192
[choral music playing]
889
00:55:18,648 --> 00:55:20,775
[music intensifies]
890
00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:33,246
[music halts]
891
00:55:43,048 --> 00:55:45,175
Anything with you, Ed? And your deal?
892
00:55:46,134 --> 00:55:49,846
Not yet. My sister was meeting
with Bishop Bigler this afternoon.
893
00:55:49,929 --> 00:55:52,682
-She's gonna call me tonight. Yeah.
-I saw that headline today.
894
00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:54,976
Eleven people
are enough to prosecute, just stop.
895
00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:58,438
Eleven's enough. You're lucky--
You know it's a big thing so…
896
00:55:59,064 --> 00:56:00,273
I really didn't think it--
897
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:02,776
Maybe one or two,
but 11 accusations, plus more.
898
00:56:02,859 --> 00:56:04,569
That's enough. You don't need--
899
00:56:04,652 --> 00:56:06,613
Whoever else comes in, comes in later.
900
00:56:07,155 --> 00:56:09,115
Which I'm sure
you think about all the time.
901
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:10,033
Yeah.
902
00:56:11,659 --> 00:56:13,995
Well, I think partly what it is
903
00:56:14,079 --> 00:56:17,749
is the Cheyenne Police Department
is terrified
904
00:56:17,832 --> 00:56:21,669
of the international shit-show of media
that will descend on them
905
00:56:21,753 --> 00:56:25,006
as soon as they pull the indictment
and arrest that fucker.
906
00:56:25,090 --> 00:56:26,383
That should be a good thing.
907
00:56:27,217 --> 00:56:30,553
Think what they're all hoping is
he fucking dies and then it goes away.
908
00:56:30,637 --> 00:56:31,596
My goodness.
909
00:56:32,097 --> 00:56:34,974
[Tom] I have not
been able to tell my story
910
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:37,560
because mine is still in trouble.
911
00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:39,854
It's before the courts…
912
00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:40,772
[sniffs]
913
00:56:40,855 --> 00:56:42,440
…and so I can't do mine.
914
00:56:43,483 --> 00:56:47,445
But I am able to act for the other guys.
915
00:56:49,364 --> 00:56:53,451
And I feel very honored
and privileged to be able to do this.
916
00:56:54,577 --> 00:56:56,538
This has not been easy
917
00:56:56,621 --> 00:56:57,997
to put this on,
918
00:56:59,290 --> 00:57:01,209
to sit in the room like this.
919
00:57:03,128 --> 00:57:04,838
[indistinct whispering]
920
00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:07,424
[Tom] But it is a way
that I can contribute.
921
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:15,098
[Dan] This was Father Monahan's robe
922
00:57:15,181 --> 00:57:18,810
that somehow my brother
got out of him for a Halloween costume.
923
00:57:19,769 --> 00:57:21,813
I'm gonna be another priest that steps in,
924
00:57:21,896 --> 00:57:25,108
acknowledges what's going on,
but leaves and doesn't do anything.
925
00:57:25,191 --> 00:57:28,027
Michael wrote this in,
because he heard me talking about how
926
00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:30,780
I remember being
paraded around in front of other priests.
927
00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:33,450
So, that's how he came up with this one.
928
00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,452
Even if they weren't participating,
929
00:57:35,535 --> 00:57:36,911
they knew it was going on.
930
00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:38,621
[Joe] Just as bad.
931
00:57:38,705 --> 00:57:41,374
-[woman] Phew. Got it.
-[man] We got it.
932
00:57:44,586 --> 00:57:45,545
Perfect.
933
00:57:48,965 --> 00:57:50,967
[leaves rustling]
934
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,433
[Sasha] Joe disassociates really quick.
935
00:57:58,516 --> 00:58:02,145
You can see his face kind of shift.
So if you see those kinds of things…
936
00:58:02,228 --> 00:58:04,689
And Joe is also
very capable of telling you,
937
00:58:04,772 --> 00:58:06,441
"I'm beginning to disassociate."
938
00:58:06,524 --> 00:58:08,484
"It feels dreamlike to me"
or "I'm moving."
939
00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,987
Those are kind of the
descriptive words for him, okay?
940
00:58:11,070 --> 00:58:12,906
-Does that help? Okay.
-[Joe] Yeah, it does.
941
00:58:12,989 --> 00:58:15,366
-[Sasha] If you need me, you'll call me?
-I will.
942
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:17,035
-[Sasha] Okay, love you.
-Love you too.
943
00:58:17,660 --> 00:58:19,954
This is going to be cathartic for you.
944
00:58:20,997 --> 00:58:22,916
[Joe] I truly believe it is.
945
00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:37,972
This is like a moment
years in the making, you know that?
946
00:58:38,056 --> 00:58:39,098
[Dan] Yeah.
947
00:58:40,308 --> 00:58:42,769
-[Dan] You all right?
-Yeah.
948
00:58:42,852 --> 00:58:44,312
-You here?
-Yeah.
949
00:58:44,395 --> 00:58:45,980
-You want to do this?
-Yeah.
950
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,023
All right.
951
00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:50,109
-You got this.
-Okay.
952
00:58:55,531 --> 00:58:56,699
[Michael] Sure?
953
00:58:56,783 --> 00:59:00,078
-[Joe] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
-[Michael] Okay.
954
00:59:00,161 --> 00:59:01,287
All right.
955
00:59:01,871 --> 00:59:03,706
For every boy that was brought here.
956
00:59:03,790 --> 00:59:05,333
Oh. Whoo.
957
00:59:11,297 --> 00:59:13,007
-[Joe breathes shakily]
-Here's your wall.
958
00:59:15,885 --> 00:59:17,178
You got this.
959
00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:23,768
[Joe exhales]
960
00:59:24,936 --> 00:59:26,145
[Michael] Take a deep breath.
961
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:28,064
[Joe inhales, exhales]
962
00:59:28,773 --> 00:59:29,899
Okay. Yeah.
963
00:59:29,983 --> 00:59:32,527
It's just walking. It's just a door.
964
00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:45,957
Guess no one's home, huh?
[chuckles nervously]
965
00:59:47,709 --> 00:59:48,543
[exhales]
966
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,088
[indistinct whispering]
967
00:59:52,171 --> 00:59:53,339
[whispers] There's the wall.
968
00:59:55,967 --> 00:59:58,261
'Cause he entered the kitchen,
969
00:59:59,345 --> 01:00:01,264
and I know that can't be the same table,
970
01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:02,724
but there's a wooden table.
971
01:00:04,892 --> 01:00:06,394
Looks like a nice home.
972
01:00:08,229 --> 01:00:09,063
A happy home.
973
01:00:09,147 --> 01:00:10,565
-Right?
-[sniffles]
974
01:00:10,648 --> 01:00:13,234
I am standing
on the porch of my nightmares.
975
01:00:14,485 --> 01:00:15,486
Right now.
976
01:00:16,070 --> 01:00:17,989
[woman] On the porch
of your nightmares right now?
977
01:00:18,072 --> 01:00:19,449
I'm at the door.
978
01:00:19,532 --> 01:00:21,784
[Joe sighs]
979
01:00:24,370 --> 01:00:25,705
I remember years ago,
980
01:00:25,788 --> 01:00:28,291
during the lawsuit
and all the investigation,
981
01:00:28,374 --> 01:00:31,252
I described the house
and I was told that it was wrong.
982
01:00:32,211 --> 01:00:33,212
You know, I--
983
01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:36,507
Everything is right. I was right.
984
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,513
[Dan] There's boys that didn't make it.
985
01:00:42,597 --> 01:00:45,808
There's boys that couldn't live with it,
and we all know that.
986
01:00:45,892 --> 01:00:47,518
So we're lucky to be here.
987
01:00:48,603 --> 01:00:49,604
Thank you.
988
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:55,568
Well, for all those boys,
we're going to conquer this place.
989
01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:57,403
We have conquered this place.
990
01:00:57,487 --> 01:00:58,613
Take it back.
991
01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:02,575
We'll give this some time to settle in
992
01:01:02,658 --> 01:01:05,244
and then we can discuss about the scene.
993
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:07,080
-Okay.
-[Dan] Want to try and film it here?
994
01:01:07,163 --> 01:01:08,998
Wanna come back and talk to these people?
995
01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:13,711
You let me know
if you think that's necessary.
996
01:01:13,795 --> 01:01:15,380
I'm more than happy to make that--
997
01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:17,090
Okay, you know, I'm just free thinking.
998
01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:18,174
[Dan] Yeah?
999
01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:21,135
I want this to be a happy place.
1000
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:22,178
[Dan] Mm-hmm.
1001
01:01:28,434 --> 01:01:30,186
[Dan] You're on
a roller coaster, my friend.
1002
01:01:30,269 --> 01:01:31,437
[both laugh]
1003
01:01:39,362 --> 01:01:41,114
[Sasha] You know
I can't wait to get to you.
1004
01:01:41,197 --> 01:01:42,532
[both chuckle]
1005
01:01:42,615 --> 01:01:46,953
Doesn't it feel nice
that the house has diminished?
1006
01:01:47,620 --> 01:01:48,663
[Joe] Yes.
1007
01:01:48,746 --> 01:01:52,208
You know, so there's been this debate on
1008
01:01:52,291 --> 01:01:56,295
do we film "the nightmare" there?
1009
01:01:57,171 --> 01:01:59,674
And I'm leaning towards no.
1010
01:02:00,299 --> 01:02:01,259
You know.
1011
01:02:01,342 --> 01:02:05,346
Which I know the homeowner will
have to be informed and everything,
1012
01:02:05,430 --> 01:02:07,890
but if there is way to protect them,
1013
01:02:07,974 --> 01:02:09,517
so it was like a clean start.
1014
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,561
[Sasha] I like your answer of no.
1015
01:02:13,187 --> 01:02:15,398
So, I don't think
you film "the nightmare" there
1016
01:02:15,481 --> 01:02:20,236
because this gives you
a transition away from that nightmare.
1017
01:02:21,779 --> 01:02:24,741
Was it cathartic
for the two of you in any way?
1018
01:02:24,824 --> 01:02:25,908
It was just…
1019
01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:26,993
uh…
1020
01:02:28,786 --> 01:02:31,789
Seeing the process work,
seeing it actually… you know,
1021
01:02:31,873 --> 01:02:34,167
and being a part of helping him get there.
1022
01:02:35,084 --> 01:02:35,960
[clears throat]
1023
01:02:36,043 --> 01:02:38,254
You know,
besides being rewarding, actually…
1024
01:02:39,464 --> 01:02:43,426
it's kind of showing me
the process that I hope to get to.
1025
01:02:45,094 --> 01:02:47,096
[leaves rustling]
1026
01:02:55,188 --> 01:02:57,190
[wind whistling]
1027
01:02:59,817 --> 01:03:02,236
Up until that day,
1028
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,947
I was having nightmares
two or three times a week
1029
01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:06,824
and have been for years,
1030
01:03:06,908 --> 01:03:10,077
and I've not had one
since I saw the house,
1031
01:03:10,161 --> 01:03:11,496
since I saw the pictures,
1032
01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:13,831
since you guys went there and did that.
1033
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:17,835
-[Michael] Well, that's fantastic!
-And it's been absolutely amazing.
1034
01:03:17,919 --> 01:03:18,753
I…
1035
01:03:19,504 --> 01:03:22,465
After so many years, you still
kind of don't want to go to sleep.
1036
01:03:22,548 --> 01:03:25,051
I still have insomnia,
but I haven't had a nightmare.
1037
01:03:25,134 --> 01:03:26,260
So thank you.
1038
01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:30,306
[Dan] It's taking the power back,
not being so victimized by it.
1039
01:03:30,389 --> 01:03:32,016
Just not staying a victim,
1040
01:03:32,099 --> 01:03:34,477
and transitioning more into survivor mode.
1041
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:37,980
I think that's happening.
I feel that happening.
1042
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:39,690
Yeah.
1043
01:03:45,071 --> 01:03:47,073
[indistinct chatter]
1044
01:03:56,582 --> 01:03:57,583
[Michael] Joe?
1045
01:03:59,877 --> 01:04:02,004
Let's put that priest red light on.
1046
01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:05,883
That way that tells you
the priest is in the confessional, right?
1047
01:04:05,967 --> 01:04:06,884
His red light.
1048
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:09,011
And off means he's waiting for somebody.
1049
01:04:10,179 --> 01:04:13,432
[Tom] Yeah, I've seen that.
Everything around here is, uh, breaking.
1050
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:15,768
You see that lock?
1051
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:17,603
Why do they need a lock in here?
1052
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:19,021
[Dan] That's a good question.
1053
01:04:23,734 --> 01:04:25,736
[intense music building]
1054
01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:30,658
[door knob rattling]
1055
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:34,412
[Tom] There is one thing
that is creepy in there.
1056
01:04:34,495 --> 01:04:36,330
They've got a fucking lock.
1057
01:04:36,414 --> 01:04:37,999
Why do you need a lock?
1058
01:04:38,082 --> 01:04:39,083
[loud bang]
1059
01:04:39,166 --> 01:04:40,209
[music stops]
1060
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:42,879
[man] What did you do? Tell me again.
1061
01:04:42,962 --> 01:04:44,046
[Tom] Punched…
1062
01:04:48,884 --> 01:04:50,261
[man] We can be done for the night.
1063
01:04:50,344 --> 01:04:51,596
-Start tomorrow?
-No.
1064
01:04:51,679 --> 01:04:53,139
No, I want it now.
1065
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:56,392
I want it now. Let's get it.
1066
01:04:57,393 --> 01:04:58,311
[exhales]
1067
01:04:58,394 --> 01:05:00,021
I just wasn't ready for that.
1068
01:05:01,272 --> 01:05:03,899
I need to conquer these… these fears.
1069
01:05:08,904 --> 01:05:09,822
Let's go.
1070
01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:12,158
[man] Okay, let's get this thing in.
1071
01:05:12,241 --> 01:05:14,452
-[Joe] And this was specific from Dan?
-[Michael] Exactly.
1072
01:05:14,535 --> 01:05:16,245
-[man 4] Roll sound! Mark it.
-[man 5] Speed.
1073
01:05:31,969 --> 01:05:35,640
Forgive me, Father, for I have failed
to do right and succeeded in doing wrong.
1074
01:05:36,849 --> 01:05:38,643
What else do you have to say?
1075
01:05:42,104 --> 01:05:45,107
Have you told anyone else
about our special relationship?
1076
01:05:45,733 --> 01:05:46,692
[Terrick] No.
1077
01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:49,320
-[Tom] What have you done wrong?
-[Joe breathing shakily]
1078
01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:52,490
[Terrick]
Well. I talked back to my mother.
1079
01:05:54,450 --> 01:05:56,202
-[Tom] Okay.
-[Terrick] And hit my brother.
1080
01:05:56,285 --> 01:05:58,621
-[Monica whispering indistinctly]
-[Joe sniffs]
1081
01:05:59,205 --> 01:06:01,624
[Joe] Uh, it's--
I was abused in the confessional.
1082
01:06:01,707 --> 01:06:02,959
[Monica] Okay.
1083
01:06:03,542 --> 01:06:05,920
[Tom] How long has it been
since you've been to confession?
1084
01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:10,132
It's been a month
since my last confession.
1085
01:06:11,092 --> 01:06:12,468
This is unexpected.
1086
01:06:12,551 --> 01:06:13,928
I know. You want to stay here?
1087
01:06:14,011 --> 01:06:15,137
Are you sure?
1088
01:06:15,221 --> 01:06:16,973
[man] Joe, tell us what you're feeling.
1089
01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:20,184
[Joe] Tom, how you doing?
1090
01:06:20,267 --> 01:06:21,811
I'm doing good, thank you.
1091
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:24,730
[Joe] Monsignor O'Brien was evil.
1092
01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:31,112
And everything he said
was kind of laced with that.
1093
01:06:32,238 --> 01:06:35,866
I'm not sure if that's what
you want to convey in this scene or not.
1094
01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:37,660
[man] It's your vision, Joe. Take it.
1095
01:06:37,743 --> 01:06:38,995
[Joe] Tom, get angry.
1096
01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:41,914
Can you do that?
1097
01:06:43,207 --> 01:06:44,834
Get angry over what, though?
1098
01:06:45,501 --> 01:06:46,627
[Joe] That lock.
1099
01:06:47,795 --> 01:06:49,296
Oh, I can do that.
1100
01:06:49,380 --> 01:06:52,633
[Joe] Use the anger
that you feel towards that lock,
1101
01:06:53,509 --> 01:06:57,304
and then use that
as power and control over Terrick.
1102
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:02,351
[Tom] Young man, I believe
there are things you're not telling me
1103
01:07:02,435 --> 01:07:04,270
that you should be telling me right now.
1104
01:07:06,022 --> 01:07:07,982
[Joe] And Terrick, you're confused.
1105
01:07:08,566 --> 01:07:10,943
[Michael] And you keep pressing him
by being angrier then,
1106
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:13,904
"Have you told anyone
about our special relationship?"
1107
01:07:16,031 --> 01:07:19,035
[Tom] Have you told anyone
about our special relationship?
1108
01:07:19,744 --> 01:07:21,245
Can we threaten Terrick?
1109
01:07:21,328 --> 01:07:23,289
[Michael] Yeah,
it's still Terrick sputtering.
1110
01:07:23,372 --> 01:07:25,499
And then Tom, you can say, like,
1111
01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:29,420
"You know you can't lie to me.
You can't lie to God,"
1112
01:07:29,503 --> 01:07:32,506
You know,
that kind of evil that they say to you.
1113
01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:35,885
Can I tell you the actual line?
1114
01:07:35,968 --> 01:07:38,471
-You know you can't lie to me.
-I'll write it down.
1115
01:07:39,722 --> 01:07:41,265
[Monica whispering indistinctly]
1116
01:07:45,978 --> 01:07:47,563
[pen scribbling]
1117
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:49,023
[Joe sniffling]
1118
01:07:49,106 --> 01:07:51,734
-[Joe whispering] What he said is…
-[Monica] You wanna say something?
1119
01:07:51,817 --> 01:07:54,445
[Michael] Want me to tell him what to say?
Or you want to tell him?
1120
01:07:54,528 --> 01:07:56,405
[Joe] I can't say it. Not right now.
1121
01:07:56,489 --> 01:07:58,407
[Michael] Okay, Tom, he wants you to say,
1122
01:07:58,491 --> 01:08:01,869
"If you ever tell anyone about us,
your parents will disavow you."
1123
01:08:01,952 --> 01:08:05,498
"You will be kicked out of the church,
and you will all go straight to Hell."
1124
01:08:07,041 --> 01:08:08,125
[Joe sniffles]
1125
01:08:08,667 --> 01:08:09,877
[breathes shakily]
1126
01:08:10,419 --> 01:08:11,670
[man] Go ahead, Tom.
1127
01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:15,841
If you ever tell anyone--
1128
01:08:15,925 --> 01:08:20,429
If you ever tell anyone,
your parents will be disowned.
1129
01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:25,810
You will be kicked out of the church
1130
01:08:25,893 --> 01:08:28,187
and you will go straight to Hell!
1131
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:35,611
[Joe sobs]
1132
01:08:35,694 --> 01:08:37,238
[Monica whispers] I got it, I got it.
1133
01:08:39,323 --> 01:08:40,783
[Tom] Are you okay, Joe?
1134
01:08:41,367 --> 01:08:42,326
[Monica] It's just Tom.
1135
01:08:42,409 --> 01:08:44,036
[Joe] Yes, I will be.
1136
01:08:44,995 --> 01:08:46,205
I got you, brother.
1137
01:08:46,288 --> 01:08:47,540
[Joe sobs]
1138
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:50,042
[man] Go get him out of there.
1139
01:08:52,878 --> 01:08:54,713
[Joe sobs softly]
1140
01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:55,965
[Tom] I know, man.
1141
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,343
I know this is hard, Joe.
1142
01:08:59,426 --> 01:09:00,970
[Joe] Okay, I'm okay.
1143
01:09:01,053 --> 01:09:02,638
-[Tom] Good. All right.
-[Joe] Okay.
1144
01:09:02,721 --> 01:09:04,431
[man] And that is a wrap on today!
1145
01:09:04,515 --> 01:09:07,643
[all applauding]
1146
01:09:10,604 --> 01:09:11,772
[man] Terrick, you all right?
1147
01:09:11,856 --> 01:09:13,274
-Yeah!
-[man chuckles]
1148
01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:15,693
[Tom] Come here, young man. Come here.
1149
01:09:15,776 --> 01:09:18,988
Your brother may play sports,
he make it to the Super Bowl,
1150
01:09:19,071 --> 01:09:20,739
he may make it to the World Series,
1151
01:09:20,823 --> 01:09:24,869
but you can say,
"I made a movie with Tom Viviano."
1152
01:09:24,952 --> 01:09:27,121
[laughs]
1153
01:09:28,289 --> 01:09:29,957
-[man] You good? All right.
-[Terrick] Yeah!
1154
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:31,083
[Joe] It's worth it.
1155
01:09:31,792 --> 01:09:35,421
Knowing that this
is a vehicle to help other guys,
1156
01:09:35,504 --> 01:09:37,256
you know, the other boys,
1157
01:09:37,339 --> 01:09:39,383
because you don't know
how many other people
1158
01:09:39,466 --> 01:09:41,635
had their own confessional moment.
1159
01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:45,973
[Michael]
What would you say to the little boy?
1160
01:09:46,056 --> 01:09:47,516
[Joe] I can't go there.
1161
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:53,105
I've tried, uh,
writing a letter to my 10-year-old self.
1162
01:09:58,569 --> 01:10:00,571
[indistinct talking on phone]
1163
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,408
Uh, Detective Venegas, this is Ed Gavagan.
1164
01:10:04,491 --> 01:10:05,951
I'm trying to reach you.
1165
01:10:09,371 --> 01:10:12,583
It's funny, however you try
and reach Cheyenne, it's never…
1166
01:10:12,666 --> 01:10:14,084
[laughs] It just…
1167
01:10:16,378 --> 01:10:18,839
[line ringing]
1168
01:10:21,091 --> 01:10:22,134
[man on phone] Hello, Ed.
1169
01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,220
[Ed] Hi, Bishop Stephen. How are you?
1170
01:10:34,980 --> 01:10:40,569
He would be the highest-ranking American
cleric ever charged with a crime,
1171
01:10:41,153 --> 01:10:45,532
the one person who did not beat the rap
1172
01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:48,369
by statute of limitations expiring.
1173
01:10:49,536 --> 01:10:54,833
How in the hell is he still not arrested?
1174
01:10:57,586 --> 01:11:01,048
I'm just going to hope that
Bishop Bigler is able to get the Vatican
1175
01:11:01,131 --> 01:11:04,218
to remove him from the priesthood,
1176
01:11:04,301 --> 01:11:08,013
which would humiliate him, you know?
1177
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:11,141
And give him a reason to be ashamed.
1178
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:22,027
So, was it…
was it a porch or was it like a stoop?
1179
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:24,571
[Mike] It was like… It was like a porch.
1180
01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:28,200
I think that I still
have credibility just knowing, you know,
1181
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:32,288
where approximately this house is.
1182
01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:35,291
It was 47 years ago.
1183
01:11:35,374 --> 01:11:36,834
[turn indicator clicking]
1184
01:11:36,917 --> 01:11:38,294
[Mike] After I was assaulted,
1185
01:11:38,377 --> 01:11:40,796
my mom took me back
after she knew what happened.
1186
01:11:41,463 --> 01:11:45,009
My mom baked this fucking asshole a cake
1187
01:11:45,092 --> 01:11:47,469
and took me back
and dropped me and the cake
1188
01:11:47,553 --> 01:11:49,263
back off at this guy's house.
1189
01:11:49,346 --> 01:11:52,016
[Dan] So I know, like, the bulk
of what we've always discussed
1190
01:11:52,099 --> 01:11:53,684
is the independent review board.
1191
01:11:54,184 --> 01:11:56,020
But this is some really powerful stuff,
1192
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:59,356
the mom with the baked cake,
you on the front porch, her driving away.
1193
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:00,941
That's powerful right there.
1194
01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:03,652
-[woman] Hey!
-[Dan] Hey, how are you?
1195
01:12:03,736 --> 01:12:04,945
[woman] I'm good, how are you?
1196
01:12:05,029 --> 01:12:06,030
[Dan] I'm good!
1197
01:12:06,113 --> 01:12:09,908
So, uh, I'm a location scout for
commercial films and feature films,
1198
01:12:09,992 --> 01:12:11,618
and we're trying to find, uh…
1199
01:12:11,702 --> 01:12:13,954
-We're shooting a documentary.
-[woman] Yeah.
1200
01:12:14,038 --> 01:12:18,417
And, uh, it's about some boys
back in the late 80's.
1201
01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:19,668
Uh…
1202
01:12:19,752 --> 01:12:24,923
But there used to be, uh, two priests
that had a house on this street?
1203
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:26,717
-Nope, Valentine.
-Valentine?
1204
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:28,886
[woman] Yeah, they were
priests at Good Shepherd.
1205
01:12:28,969 --> 01:12:31,847
[Mike] They were? Do you know
the exact house it was, by chance?
1206
01:12:31,930 --> 01:12:34,183
[woman] Uh…
What house did they live in, honey?
1207
01:12:34,266 --> 01:12:36,435
I know what house,
but I don't know the address.
1208
01:12:36,518 --> 01:12:39,772
It's a ranch, single-car garage.
1209
01:12:39,855 --> 01:12:41,607
-[Mike] Thank you.
-[Dan] Thank you so much!
1210
01:12:41,690 --> 01:12:43,859
Oh my God, what a stroke of luck!
1211
01:12:43,942 --> 01:12:45,903
-I mean, Jesus!
-[both laugh]
1212
01:12:45,986 --> 01:12:48,238
I cannot believe those people said that.
1213
01:12:48,739 --> 01:12:51,784
I mean, that's proof right there, right?
1214
01:12:53,410 --> 01:12:56,538
I'm going to replay that
in my mind tonight over and over.
1215
01:12:56,622 --> 01:12:59,708
Just the feeling.
It just somehow hit like a sweet spot.
1216
01:13:01,919 --> 01:13:04,129
I stood right on
that fucking porch with cake,
1217
01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:07,800
with a priest
who had already assaulted me once.
1218
01:13:07,883 --> 01:13:10,844
And we watched my mom
drive right down that street.
1219
01:13:11,512 --> 01:13:12,554
God damn.
1220
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:24,817
Well, I threw my kids under the bus.
1221
01:13:25,484 --> 01:13:27,611
-[Dan] No, you didn't. No, you didn't.
-You know?
1222
01:13:28,112 --> 01:13:29,113
I, uh…
1223
01:13:29,196 --> 01:13:34,076
For a long time, I felt like,
"How could I be so blind?"
1224
01:13:34,159 --> 01:13:35,828
You were just the prime targets.
1225
01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:37,996
You didn't do one damn thing wrong.
1226
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:41,041
You were just moving along in life,
like you were supposed to move along
1227
01:13:41,125 --> 01:13:42,876
and he just took advantage of it.
1228
01:13:42,960 --> 01:13:45,254
[Mrs. Laurine] Well, yeah,
like Tim said, for a long time
1229
01:13:45,337 --> 01:13:48,549
he felt like he deserved
everything that was happening.
1230
01:13:48,632 --> 01:13:51,468
That somehow, he was complicit.
1231
01:13:52,302 --> 01:13:54,638
[Dan] So, Lake of the Ozarks,
1232
01:13:55,597 --> 01:13:57,641
it's not where everything happened.
1233
01:13:57,724 --> 01:14:03,438
It's just where, I would say, the most
significant-to-me things happened.
1234
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:06,817
When I went back to him
and I said, "I broke this fishing rod."
1235
01:14:07,526 --> 01:14:10,237
He was talking about how important
this guy was that was coming,
1236
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:11,405
and it was his fishing rod.
1237
01:14:11,488 --> 01:14:14,116
And, like, I wasn't just in trouble,
1238
01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:17,244
Monahan was in trouble too
for letting me use his fishing rod.
1239
01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:19,746
And now I owed this guy.
1240
01:14:19,830 --> 01:14:21,832
-[Mrs. Laurine] Manipulation, yeah.
-[woman] Mm-hmm.
1241
01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:26,879
And so that I had to sleep with
that guy that night for the fishing rod.
1242
01:14:26,962 --> 01:14:28,005
[man] How old were you?
1243
01:14:28,672 --> 01:14:29,590
Fifth grade.
1244
01:14:30,382 --> 01:14:32,217
-[Mrs. Laurine] Ten?
-[woman] Ten, yeah.
1245
01:14:33,302 --> 01:14:35,345
[Dan] I asked her
last night if she remembered
1246
01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:40,476
the first time
I ever mentioned the abuse to her,
1247
01:14:41,810 --> 01:14:43,270
and she's blocked it out.
1248
01:14:46,648 --> 01:14:48,066
-[chuckles]
-Mm-hmm.
1249
01:14:48,150 --> 01:14:49,485
[man] You've blocked that out?
1250
01:14:51,528 --> 01:14:53,363
[voice breaking]
I was going to kill myself.
1251
01:14:58,494 --> 01:14:59,745
[Dan exclaims]
1252
01:15:03,874 --> 01:15:07,461
But I worked it out,
'cause he's not winning.
1253
01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:09,713
He's not winning.
1254
01:15:13,091 --> 01:15:14,510
[Dan] All's I got focus on right now
1255
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:18,180
is the dread of what
I'm about to do tomorrow. So…
1256
01:15:19,723 --> 01:15:24,102
My brother and I
are going back to the lake
1257
01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:26,522
where Monahan used to take us.
1258
01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:28,106
So that's going to be my…
1259
01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:32,528
I don't know, pressure point.
It's going to be…
1260
01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:36,490
I have no idea what's going to happen,
and that scares the hell out of me.
1261
01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:40,118
[automated voice]
Starting route to 1432 Swiss Village Road.
1262
01:15:52,005 --> 01:15:55,092
[Michael] When did you find out
that he molested both of you?
1263
01:15:55,550 --> 01:15:58,554
I mean, did you
ever talk about any of that?
1264
01:15:58,637 --> 01:16:01,014
No, that--
We didn't talk about that, like…
1265
01:16:02,015 --> 01:16:04,309
until Mom signed us up for SNAP, and…
1266
01:16:06,395 --> 01:16:09,523
Like, we never discussed it.
We just knew it happened.
1267
01:16:13,902 --> 01:16:15,862
It's been my biggest fear
1268
01:16:15,946 --> 01:16:20,951
that you somehow held yourself
responsible for what happened to me.
1269
01:16:23,996 --> 01:16:25,914
[Tim] I did for a long time, dude.
1270
01:16:26,498 --> 01:16:27,749
A long time!
1271
01:16:28,333 --> 01:16:31,587
[Dan] If you're still on the precipice,
if you're not on flat fucking ground,
1272
01:16:31,670 --> 01:16:34,006
there's something
that still needs to be dealt with.
1273
01:16:34,089 --> 01:16:35,590
[Tim] Right. I agree.
1274
01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:40,262
[Dan] I have seen it
work for these other guys.
1275
01:16:51,815 --> 01:16:55,527
[automated voice] The destination
is on your right, 1432 Swiss Village Road.
1276
01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:57,779
-That's not it, is it?
-[Tim] Hmm?
1277
01:16:57,863 --> 01:16:59,156
That's not it, is it?
1278
01:17:02,284 --> 01:17:03,327
No.
1279
01:17:09,374 --> 01:17:10,709
Man, I'm drawing a blank.
1280
01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:15,756
[Dan] The restaurant would have been here.
1281
01:17:16,840 --> 01:17:19,217
The pool would've been
in a different direction.
1282
01:17:20,594 --> 01:17:21,637
[man] You know what road?
1283
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,306
Well, there's another
Swiss Village we're trying to find.
1284
01:17:26,308 --> 01:17:28,435
I didn't even know there was another one.
1285
01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:34,066
[Tim] I remember now, we could
see the lights of Tan-Tar-A at night.
1286
01:17:34,149 --> 01:17:36,818
So we find Tan-Tar-A,
and find a way to get--
1287
01:17:36,902 --> 01:17:39,196
[Dan] I remember it had
the decorative trim like this.
1288
01:17:39,279 --> 01:17:40,155
[Tim] Yeah.
1289
01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:44,951
[Dan] You ever heard anything around here
like Swiss Villas or Swiss Village,
1290
01:17:45,035 --> 01:17:45,994
anything like that?
1291
01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:48,121
[bar tender] I know where
Swiss Village is, kind of.
1292
01:17:50,082 --> 01:17:51,917
He's saying he recognizes it.
1293
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:54,628
So the bartender says
he knows what we're talking about.
1294
01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:59,174
Just talked to two sheriffs in there.
1295
01:18:00,425 --> 01:18:02,761
They actually put it out on the radio,
called a few people,
1296
01:18:02,844 --> 01:18:05,305
but only thing
they can think of is "Susan Road."
1297
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:11,770
[Tim] It's 30 miles, 65--
1298
01:18:11,853 --> 01:18:14,106
[Michael] So we're not
going to look for it anymore?
1299
01:18:14,189 --> 01:18:15,691
[Tim] We're gonna run out of daylight.
1300
01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:36,878
[Dan] I thought I was
gonna get Tim his Lake Viking moment.
1301
01:18:38,004 --> 01:18:39,423
Thought I was gonna get it too,
1302
01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:41,883
but more importantly,
I thought Tim would get that.
1303
01:18:42,801 --> 01:18:44,177
And it would help him heal.
1304
01:18:44,719 --> 01:18:46,388
And then when we didn't do it,
1305
01:18:47,264 --> 01:18:49,724
I was just terrified
how it was going to affect him.
1306
01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:54,020
-How did it affect him?
-I… I haven't been to able talk to him.
1307
01:18:54,104 --> 01:18:56,940
Haven't heard from him
for quite a while now, since we did that.
1308
01:18:58,191 --> 01:19:02,028
[Michael] I hate to feel that
we caused that kind of a thing.
1309
01:19:04,448 --> 01:19:05,949
So would you ever go back?
1310
01:19:07,951 --> 01:19:11,872
I don't want to go any place without
knowing that we'll have a good result.
1311
01:19:11,955 --> 01:19:14,791
I mean, it was scary with--
I thought it was all done.
1312
01:19:14,875 --> 01:19:17,002
We get there, we're roaming around.
It's like, "Oh, my God."
1313
01:19:17,085 --> 01:19:19,129
Then I'm worried,
What if we don't find something?
1314
01:19:19,212 --> 01:19:22,466
[man] Tim said he knew where it was,
so we were trusting him, and that--
1315
01:19:22,549 --> 01:19:24,301
And ultimately we decided, that was…
1316
01:19:24,384 --> 01:19:26,094
we made a mistake and we should've done…
1317
01:19:26,178 --> 01:19:28,013
[Michael] Robert,
you trust, but you verify.
1318
01:19:28,096 --> 01:19:29,181
[Dan] That was me.
1319
01:19:29,264 --> 01:19:31,391
That honestly was me.
Tim was so confident.
1320
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:34,102
This doesn't matter,
we're all mentally broken people.
1321
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,146
You gonna believe
somebody that's crazy? No.
1322
01:19:36,229 --> 01:19:38,064
You gonna figure it out, go from there.
1323
01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:39,399
[man] There's no-- Yeah.
1324
01:19:40,108 --> 01:19:42,194
There was no verification possible.
1325
01:19:42,277 --> 01:19:45,906
[Ed] What he's saying is
we got to be careful going forward.
1326
01:19:51,703 --> 01:19:55,499
For some reason, I think
we're all put together for something.
1327
01:19:55,582 --> 01:19:57,292
Is this it? Maybe.
1328
01:19:57,375 --> 01:19:58,376
To help.
1329
01:19:58,460 --> 01:20:01,671
I'm understanding why
I'm here at this point with everybody.
1330
01:20:02,422 --> 01:20:05,926
And Kathleen, as you know,
I went to St. Elizabeth's,
1331
01:20:06,009 --> 01:20:09,638
so it's important for me to go back there.
1332
01:20:09,721 --> 01:20:13,642
It would help me very greatly
to put things in perspective,
1333
01:20:13,725 --> 01:20:17,270
because everyone so far
has faced a certain point,
1334
01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:18,355
a physical point.
1335
01:20:18,438 --> 01:20:21,525
That's my physical point
and I don't want to go in there by myself.
1336
01:20:21,608 --> 01:20:25,070
I feel bad for you because
there's no ending for you yet, Dan.
1337
01:20:25,153 --> 01:20:27,322
Your thing keeps
looping back in your mind.
1338
01:20:27,405 --> 01:20:29,115
I think Joe will have an ending.
1339
01:20:29,199 --> 01:20:30,909
Maybe Ed will, I don't know.
1340
01:20:30,992 --> 01:20:34,955
And it's just… That's sad for…
I'd like to see you have an ending.
1341
01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:41,795
[intense string music playing]
1342
01:20:45,674 --> 01:20:49,511
[Dan] I was
really concerned the last time,
1343
01:20:50,929 --> 01:20:53,098
and I thought I had caused you to spiral.
1344
01:20:54,558 --> 01:20:56,268
[Tim] Well, I'm sorry about that.
1345
01:20:59,020 --> 01:21:02,482
I'm trying to, like,
process it through the brain
1346
01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:06,945
on how we could see
the lights and where we were.
1347
01:21:16,746 --> 01:21:17,956
Look at that!
1348
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:21,710
[Dan laughs] I am looking at that!
1349
01:21:21,793 --> 01:21:24,588
They've got all the boards
on the outside, the trim.
1350
01:21:24,671 --> 01:21:26,590
-[Michael] Wow.
-[Tim] Ho!
1351
01:21:26,673 --> 01:21:28,758
[Dan] But look how steep
those fucking steps are!
1352
01:21:29,384 --> 01:21:30,427
[laughs]
1353
01:21:30,510 --> 01:21:32,679
I just flashed back
on so many things on that.
1354
01:21:39,436 --> 01:21:40,270
Whoa.
1355
01:21:42,022 --> 01:21:43,648
Did you catch that sign?
1356
01:21:44,190 --> 01:21:46,693
[Dan] It could be the same
fucking place we came to last time.
1357
01:21:46,776 --> 01:21:48,069
They all look so close.
1358
01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:49,070
[Michael] Dan…
1359
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:57,454
[Tim] Tell me…
1360
01:21:59,122 --> 01:22:00,790
We didn't come here before, did we?
1361
01:22:00,874 --> 01:22:01,833
[Dan] No.
1362
01:22:03,793 --> 01:22:07,589
[man] We came in that way, but remember,
this is also far away from that--
1363
01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:10,550
[Tim] It's the same place?
1364
01:22:10,634 --> 01:22:11,968
[Dan] It's the first place.
1365
01:22:12,761 --> 01:22:14,220
It's the same place we came to.
1366
01:22:19,976 --> 01:22:21,937
Dan, do you mind if I ask you a question?
1367
01:22:22,020 --> 01:22:23,271
Yeah, baby, go ahead.
1368
01:22:23,355 --> 01:22:25,815
You had the physical reaction,
everything lines up.
1369
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:26,733
I know.
1370
01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:28,902
But are you afraid that this is the place?
1371
01:22:28,985 --> 01:22:31,821
So you're rejecting it
'cause you don't want to find it?
1372
01:22:31,905 --> 01:22:34,282
It's a weird mind game to me.
1373
01:22:34,366 --> 01:22:36,326
When everything
starts making logical sense
1374
01:22:36,409 --> 01:22:38,328
and your brother's backing you up,
1375
01:22:38,411 --> 01:22:39,871
are you so afraid of finding it
1376
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,873
that you're blanking out
and don't want to?
1377
01:22:42,791 --> 01:22:44,334
I mean, just think about it.
1378
01:22:44,417 --> 01:22:49,172
[Doug] The guy who owns this,
until two years ago, this was grass
1379
01:22:49,255 --> 01:22:51,675
and there was a driveway
that went that way.
1380
01:22:52,884 --> 01:22:54,219
[man] Say it loud, Doug.
1381
01:22:54,302 --> 01:22:56,805
[Doug] The gentleman
who owns this place now said
1382
01:22:56,888 --> 01:22:58,974
until two years ago, this was grass,
1383
01:22:59,057 --> 01:23:02,102
and this was a driveway
that went out like that.
1384
01:23:02,185 --> 01:23:03,603
[man] Until two years ago?
1385
01:23:03,687 --> 01:23:05,063
This is the fucking path!
1386
01:23:05,563 --> 01:23:06,481
[man] There it is.
1387
01:23:08,692 --> 01:23:10,318
[man] What is this path, Dan?
1388
01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:12,946
This is the path
where I broke the fishing rod. [sobs]
1389
01:23:14,572 --> 01:23:16,449
The path that I broke the fishing rod.
1390
01:23:19,244 --> 01:23:20,704
And then had to pay for it.
1391
01:23:22,914 --> 01:23:24,416
[exhales]
1392
01:23:31,047 --> 01:23:34,009
[sobs softly]
1393
01:23:34,092 --> 01:23:35,301
[sniffles]
1394
01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,224
Oh, God damn.
1395
01:23:42,684 --> 01:23:43,768
Oh…
1396
01:23:46,187 --> 01:23:47,605
[gasps] Oh, God damn.
1397
01:23:48,690 --> 01:23:50,692
[sobs]
1398
01:23:53,611 --> 01:23:55,321
[inhales] Oh…
1399
01:23:56,072 --> 01:23:57,115
Oh…
1400
01:24:02,996 --> 01:24:04,247
[exhales]
1401
01:24:09,335 --> 01:24:14,424
-[sings] ♪ I wanna be an Airborne Ranger ♪
-[Dan laughs]
1402
01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:15,884
[chuckles]
1403
01:24:16,384 --> 01:24:20,597
♪ I want to live the life of danger ♪
1404
01:24:22,223 --> 01:24:23,266
[Dan] This is my life.
1405
01:24:23,767 --> 01:24:24,642
[Tim laughs]
1406
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:27,353
[Tim] I've been pushed beyond my means!
1407
01:24:30,982 --> 01:24:33,735
-[Dan] This is what we survived.
-[Tim] And I love my brother.
1408
01:24:33,818 --> 01:24:35,111
And this is the spot.
1409
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:37,280
[Dan] I know it is.
1410
01:24:37,363 --> 01:24:39,991
I do too. I do too.
1411
01:24:43,870 --> 01:24:47,081
You do realize that, I mean…
1412
01:24:48,416 --> 01:24:50,877
I tried to protect you all my life.
1413
01:24:51,544 --> 01:24:52,670
Fuck, I do!
1414
01:24:53,713 --> 01:24:55,381
You did just fine.
1415
01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:58,176
You had nothing to do with this.
1416
01:25:03,306 --> 01:25:05,725
It wasn't your fault.
1417
01:25:06,226 --> 01:25:07,936
Sure fucked me up.
1418
01:25:08,603 --> 01:25:11,773
[Dan] You got me here.
I had to use you to get here.
1419
01:25:11,856 --> 01:25:15,235
I told everybody I was doing this for you.
1420
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:17,821
[Tim] A'ight.
1421
01:25:17,904 --> 01:25:19,364
Yeah, I did!
1422
01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:24,160
I lied to myself,
in effect, to get this to happen.
1423
01:25:32,710 --> 01:25:34,587
[Mike humming]
1424
01:25:35,296 --> 01:25:37,298
[emotional string music playing]
1425
01:25:42,011 --> 01:25:44,222
[clerk] Yeah, what kind of
cake were you looking to get?
1426
01:25:44,305 --> 01:25:46,683
Just need a, like,
a traditional two-layer cake,
1427
01:25:46,766 --> 01:25:48,351
with chocolate icing.
1428
01:25:50,895 --> 01:25:52,522
[Monica] All right, we got a ton of ideas.
1429
01:25:52,605 --> 01:25:54,399
Should we walk through it?
Scribble 'em in?
1430
01:25:54,482 --> 01:25:56,693
-[Mike] Wanna just start at the beginning?
-[Monica] Yeah.
1431
01:25:56,776 --> 01:25:59,487
I also want to sort of interject
1432
01:25:59,571 --> 01:26:03,491
and talk through
what may be the most therapeutic
1433
01:26:03,575 --> 01:26:05,743
about certain choices, or--
1434
01:26:05,827 --> 01:26:08,163
The major thing here is
we get to try things out.
1435
01:26:08,246 --> 01:26:09,831
We get to try them a different way.
1436
01:26:09,914 --> 01:26:12,750
That's what drama therapy
is usually like, and in this case,
1437
01:26:12,834 --> 01:26:14,335
it can be very much like that,
1438
01:26:14,419 --> 01:26:16,504
because, for the purposes of the film,
1439
01:26:16,588 --> 01:26:18,965
we want to see you try on
different ideas anyway,
1440
01:26:19,048 --> 01:26:21,134
and we want them to feel good to you. So…
1441
01:26:21,217 --> 01:26:24,012
[Mike] So Terrick's mother
is going to play my mother,
1442
01:26:24,095 --> 01:26:26,264
and Terrick's dad
is going to play the priest?
1443
01:26:26,347 --> 01:26:28,516
[Monica] I think that'd be cool.
That will be cool.
1444
01:26:29,142 --> 01:26:31,352
[Mike chuckles] This is getting good!
1445
01:26:31,436 --> 01:26:33,438
[dramatic music playing]
1446
01:26:36,816 --> 01:26:40,653
Mom, I really don't want to go
back in that house with that guy again.
1447
01:26:42,822 --> 01:26:45,200
Mike, Father Finian is a man of God.
1448
01:26:45,283 --> 01:26:46,910
He's trying to help you.
1449
01:27:33,957 --> 01:27:37,627
Hey, Mike. Listen, don't worry about this.
1450
01:27:37,710 --> 01:27:40,338
You're not 11 years old anymore,
1451
01:27:40,421 --> 01:27:41,798
I've got this.
1452
01:27:42,882 --> 01:27:45,885
And don't blame Mom.
1453
01:27:46,719 --> 01:27:49,806
As ridiculous as it was as what she did,
1454
01:27:50,848 --> 01:27:56,104
she was so brainwashed,
she thought that priest was God.
1455
01:27:57,397 --> 01:28:02,110
When I was in the sixth grade,
everything was great in my life,
1456
01:28:02,193 --> 01:28:07,991
and then my mother
drove me to this house for therapy.
1457
01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:10,952
The first thing this priest told me to do
1458
01:28:11,035 --> 01:28:12,745
is lay on the floor.
1459
01:28:13,413 --> 01:28:19,002
Before I could say a word,
this grown man was on top of me.
1460
01:28:20,295 --> 01:28:25,925
[Tom] But you have had bad behavior
before you met Father Meiss.
1461
01:28:26,009 --> 01:28:28,845
That is very, very significant.
1462
01:28:28,928 --> 01:28:30,221
Oh, really?
1463
01:28:30,304 --> 01:28:34,100
Would you like to know
what I think is very significant?
1464
01:28:35,309 --> 01:28:39,731
The fact that I was
sexually assaulted twice by a grown man
1465
01:28:39,814 --> 01:28:41,691
when I was 11 years old!
1466
01:28:42,358 --> 01:28:44,235
Isn't that significant?
1467
01:28:45,403 --> 01:28:46,362
[Tom] Yes.
1468
01:28:47,363 --> 01:28:49,198
No, you just-- Look, you--
1469
01:28:49,282 --> 01:28:50,450
I thought I said, "Yes."
1470
01:28:50,533 --> 01:28:53,036
Yeah, but you turn
your head slightly in my direction
1471
01:28:53,119 --> 01:28:56,289
but you still don't look at me,
and under your breath, you go, "Yes."
1472
01:28:56,372 --> 01:28:57,582
-Like that.
-Okay.
1473
01:28:58,875 --> 01:29:01,085
I'm asking you a question!
1474
01:29:01,836 --> 01:29:03,796
Is that significant?
1475
01:29:05,340 --> 01:29:06,215
Yes.
1476
01:29:06,883 --> 01:29:10,344
God damn, man, what the fuck? Fuck!
1477
01:29:10,428 --> 01:29:14,682
Would you like to tell them how
it was you actually ended that meeting?
1478
01:29:14,766 --> 01:29:17,477
And then describe
how you would have liked to have ended it?
1479
01:29:17,977 --> 01:29:18,936
[Mike] Yeah.
1480
01:29:21,272 --> 01:29:24,067
You know, I'm sorry I got
kind of crazy there on you guys.
1481
01:29:24,150 --> 01:29:26,444
-[Tom] No, that's okay.
-[woman] Oh, it's fine. Don't worry.
1482
01:29:26,527 --> 01:29:27,403
Okay.
1483
01:29:27,945 --> 01:29:29,489
Then when I leave,
1484
01:29:30,073 --> 01:29:33,451
there's no doubt in my mind
they know I'm telling the truth.
1485
01:29:34,994 --> 01:29:37,205
Now, this is what I should have said.
1486
01:29:37,997 --> 01:29:39,707
[intense pipe organ music plays]
1487
01:29:39,791 --> 01:29:42,293
I got this letter from Archbishop Naumann,
1488
01:29:42,376 --> 01:29:44,128
and in this fucking letter
1489
01:29:44,212 --> 01:29:46,339
he said that you assholes said
1490
01:29:46,422 --> 01:29:49,926
you could not substantiate my credibility.
1491
01:29:50,676 --> 01:29:52,220
What the fuck?
1492
01:29:52,303 --> 01:29:56,891
How the fuck else could I know
where that rental house was in 1972
1493
01:29:56,974 --> 01:29:58,601
if I wasn't there?
1494
01:29:58,684 --> 01:30:03,272
That puts me in the house
with this known child-rapist.
1495
01:30:03,356 --> 01:30:06,442
And Mr. Priest,
how the fuck do you live with yourself?
1496
01:30:07,110 --> 01:30:09,278
Don't take this too serious, okay?
1497
01:30:12,073 --> 01:30:15,618
How in the fuck do you live with yourself?
1498
01:30:15,701 --> 01:30:19,497
You're doling out spiritual wisdom
and guidance for decades
1499
01:30:19,580 --> 01:30:21,082
in the name of the Lord,
1500
01:30:21,582 --> 01:30:25,294
while you're covering up
the rape of little children?
1501
01:30:25,378 --> 01:30:28,965
So what would you say to Jesus
if he was here right now?
1502
01:30:29,048 --> 01:30:31,467
I want to know!
What the fuck would you tell him?
1503
01:30:32,802 --> 01:30:34,345
Yeah, that's what I thought.
1504
01:30:34,971 --> 01:30:37,265
What could you tell him, right?
1505
01:30:37,890 --> 01:30:40,476
And you're going to tell me
I have no credibility
1506
01:30:40,560 --> 01:30:42,687
and you're sitting in a confessional,
1507
01:30:42,770 --> 01:30:47,191
having Catholics confess
their sins to your evil ass?
1508
01:30:47,275 --> 01:30:51,529
You know, I've never
known the joy of having a child.
1509
01:30:52,405 --> 01:30:57,493
I would rather have
a crack whore babysit my child
1510
01:30:57,577 --> 01:31:00,830
than any fucking
Catholic priest in the world!
1511
01:31:01,664 --> 01:31:04,333
Because I know about you assholes.
1512
01:31:04,459 --> 01:31:06,586
And there's not just one or two of you,
1513
01:31:06,669 --> 01:31:09,255
there's tens of thousands of you,
isn't there?
1514
01:31:10,506 --> 01:31:11,549
Fuck.
1515
01:31:12,508 --> 01:31:15,344
Fucking makes me sick just to be in here.
1516
01:31:15,428 --> 01:31:18,014
Let me tell you something,
you fucking assholes.
1517
01:31:19,182 --> 01:31:21,100
Our mom baked this cake,
1518
01:31:22,226 --> 01:31:26,230
but I'll be goddamned
if you fucking assholes are gonna eat it,
1519
01:31:26,314 --> 01:31:27,857
you sons of bitches.
1520
01:31:27,940 --> 01:31:29,150
[music halts]
1521
01:31:29,233 --> 01:31:30,234
Fuck.
1522
01:31:30,318 --> 01:31:32,361
You fucking people make me sick.
1523
01:31:35,490 --> 01:31:36,574
[exhales]
1524
01:31:36,657 --> 01:31:39,160
[Monica] All right, Mike,
let's snap out of it. How you feeling?
1525
01:31:39,243 --> 01:31:40,286
Good.
1526
01:31:40,369 --> 01:31:42,163
[Monica] Tell Mike
how you're feeling about it.
1527
01:31:42,747 --> 01:31:46,042
Man, that felt good to get out,
get that off my chest.
1528
01:31:46,125 --> 01:31:48,544
I felt like I had an elephant on my chest.
1529
01:31:50,254 --> 01:31:52,089
[Joe] I think what you did was awesome,
1530
01:31:52,173 --> 01:31:55,343
and you did something
that is so hard for me to do.
1531
01:31:55,426 --> 01:31:58,137
-And that is you talked to Young Mike.
-[Mike] Well…
1532
01:31:58,221 --> 01:32:02,642
And that has been
the biggest mountain I'm trying to cross.
1533
01:32:02,725 --> 01:32:04,477
[Mike]
I was in character there. I was him!
1534
01:32:04,560 --> 01:32:06,646
I was kind of concerned about him.
1535
01:32:06,729 --> 01:32:08,105
Everything's going to be okay.
1536
01:32:08,189 --> 01:32:10,024
[Monica] Yeah, tell him.
1537
01:32:10,107 --> 01:32:12,401
[Mike] I tip my hat to you, Terrick.
1538
01:32:12,485 --> 01:32:14,320
This is a horrible subject,
1539
01:32:14,403 --> 01:32:17,823
and I'm sure your parents, you know,
helped you with all this,
1540
01:32:17,907 --> 01:32:19,534
and you're going to be good, right?
1541
01:32:19,617 --> 01:32:21,244
-[Terrick] Yeah.
-[Mike] Awesome.
1542
01:32:21,327 --> 01:32:24,080
I think Mike is very strong.
1543
01:32:24,872 --> 01:32:28,501
I think that what he did was great,
1544
01:32:28,584 --> 01:32:30,711
and I believe him a hundred percent.
1545
01:32:31,796 --> 01:32:34,131
[Mike] Thank you. That means a lot!
1546
01:32:34,215 --> 01:32:35,508
[Dan chuckles]
1547
01:32:38,302 --> 01:32:40,638
[Monica] Let's everyone
walk out of this space.
1548
01:32:40,721 --> 01:32:44,475
Get out of the area in general, okay?
1549
01:32:45,268 --> 01:32:48,604
Take a couple walks around,
and then I'm going to come find you guys.
1550
01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:52,733
[melancholic music playing]
1551
01:33:03,995 --> 01:33:05,246
[Michael] All this stuff, Dan?
1552
01:33:05,746 --> 01:33:07,415
Yeah, if you wanna take these.
1553
01:33:07,498 --> 01:33:11,002
-Do you want this two feet or four feet?
-I think two feet is good. That's--
1554
01:33:11,085 --> 01:33:13,754
-We can rip one of these down.
-Okay.
1555
01:33:13,838 --> 01:33:15,631
I've got another panel right here.
1556
01:33:15,715 --> 01:33:17,133
[Ed] And it's just a blank panel?
1557
01:33:17,216 --> 01:33:19,135
-Yeah, just do it blank?
-Yeah.
1558
01:33:20,177 --> 01:33:22,471
[Ed] I think it
should just have this, like,
1559
01:33:22,555 --> 01:33:28,102
dream, kind of, uh, a doll set look to it.
1560
01:33:29,061 --> 01:33:31,147
[pneumatic nailer banging]
1561
01:33:33,107 --> 01:33:35,610
The other side over here. So against that.
1562
01:33:35,693 --> 01:33:37,028
[Dan] Have you ever stained wood?
1563
01:33:38,154 --> 01:33:40,239
-Really, smart ass, really?
-[Dan] No, have you?
1564
01:33:40,323 --> 01:33:42,408
Yes. I've done about everything.
1565
01:33:42,491 --> 01:33:44,535
-[Dan] Really?
-I didn't say "well," but I did it.
1566
01:33:44,619 --> 01:33:46,495
[Dan] I saw that
written on a bathroom wall.
1567
01:33:46,954 --> 01:33:48,748
-[laughs]
-[Michael] Did you write it?
1568
01:33:51,292 --> 01:33:54,462
[saw buzzing]
1569
01:33:56,922 --> 01:33:59,425
You know what?
Push with your foot, the bottom plate.
1570
01:33:59,508 --> 01:34:02,345
[Dan] Hang on just a second.
We got to space it for the door.
1571
01:34:10,394 --> 01:34:11,395
So here, Ed.
1572
01:34:12,938 --> 01:34:15,816
[Ed] Wow! Dude, you got the color just on.
1573
01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:19,320
That's great.
1574
01:34:21,238 --> 01:34:22,239
Good job, man.
1575
01:34:22,323 --> 01:34:25,660
Meant to be. Making it happen.
1576
01:34:33,668 --> 01:34:35,711
-Are you doing scenes today?
-No.
1577
01:34:36,212 --> 01:34:40,591
[Terrick] When I'm putting clothes
from the closet into the suitcase, you--
1578
01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:43,761
I just do it, but when he, um,
asks me to come stand by him,
1579
01:34:43,844 --> 01:34:46,222
that's when you want me to act odd?
1580
01:34:46,305 --> 01:34:47,640
That, when you have the--
1581
01:34:47,723 --> 01:34:50,476
-That's when the awkwardness can start.
-Okay. All right.
1582
01:34:50,559 --> 01:34:54,647
[Ed] Interesting to think this little
kid's going into change into clothing
1583
01:34:54,730 --> 01:34:57,566
so he can reenact
one of the worst days of my life.
1584
01:34:58,359 --> 01:35:00,486
How high did you want the socks?
1585
01:35:01,362 --> 01:35:02,947
-All the way up.
-All the way up?
1586
01:35:03,030 --> 01:35:04,573
-Yup, great.
-Okay.
1587
01:35:05,908 --> 01:35:06,951
Excellent.
1588
01:35:08,411 --> 01:35:11,872
[Joe Gideon on recording]
It's showtime, folks. It's showtime!"
1589
01:35:11,956 --> 01:35:12,957
[Dan] Try it with this…
1590
01:35:14,083 --> 01:35:15,209
It's showtime, folks.
1591
01:35:15,292 --> 01:35:19,880
And just think,
"I'm gonna fucking lie to these people."
1592
01:35:19,964 --> 01:35:22,049
Like, and there's a shame,
1593
01:35:22,133 --> 01:35:24,510
but there's also, like,
an arrogance again of like,
1594
01:35:24,593 --> 01:35:26,721
"I'm going to
pull the wool over their eyes."
1595
01:35:26,804 --> 01:35:27,722
[man] Like a hustler.
1596
01:35:29,098 --> 01:35:30,182
[Ed] Hustler, yeah.
1597
01:35:35,730 --> 01:35:37,815
Doesn't he look scarily like a priest?
1598
01:35:43,237 --> 01:35:45,698
[whispers] This is a--
This is a lot for Michael.
1599
01:35:46,532 --> 01:35:48,784
This is a lot for him, he's doing so well.
1600
01:35:59,628 --> 01:36:02,590
[choral music playing]
1601
01:36:48,052 --> 01:36:50,179
"It's showtime, folks."
1602
01:37:23,963 --> 01:37:25,005
[grunts]
1603
01:37:25,089 --> 01:37:27,716
[Ed] My intention is to have that moment,
1604
01:37:28,592 --> 01:37:34,849
when the kid is up in a room
with this authority figure.
1605
01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:42,273
And this is a fulcrum
for his childhood, at this moment.
1606
01:37:42,356 --> 01:37:46,527
There's a transformation
of how he sees religion,
1607
01:37:47,278 --> 01:37:49,071
protector figures.
1608
01:37:51,782 --> 01:37:54,743
That does a number on your map of reality.
1609
01:37:55,244 --> 01:37:58,789
And, uh, when the map is wrong,
1610
01:37:58,873 --> 01:38:02,710
it's hard to realize how far away you get
1611
01:38:02,793 --> 01:38:05,713
when the map has been distorted like that.
1612
01:38:08,757 --> 01:38:10,467
Like I'm not remembering being raped.
1613
01:38:10,551 --> 01:38:12,428
I'm not remembering seeing his penis.
1614
01:38:12,511 --> 01:38:14,221
None of that happened.
1615
01:38:14,305 --> 01:38:17,474
But it was the day that he knew
1616
01:38:18,142 --> 01:38:20,102
that I would not ever tell,
1617
01:38:20,185 --> 01:38:23,105
and that he could
then go further from there.
1618
01:38:30,821 --> 01:38:31,822
We ready?
1619
01:38:33,115 --> 01:38:37,036
This almost feels like
more of a protector position, as well.
1620
01:38:46,462 --> 01:38:48,297
[Michael] Hey, Eddie, come up here.
1621
01:38:48,380 --> 01:38:50,007
[Terrick] Hey, I put the lawnmower away.
1622
01:38:50,090 --> 01:38:51,342
[Michael] Oh, that's good. Good.
1623
01:38:51,425 --> 01:38:53,385
I need some help packing.
Will you help me?
1624
01:38:53,469 --> 01:38:55,304
[Terrick]
How long are you going to be gone?
1625
01:38:55,387 --> 01:38:56,513
A couple days.
1626
01:38:59,391 --> 01:39:01,810
Okay, there's
the suitcase which you see. Um…
1627
01:39:01,894 --> 01:39:04,938
-What do you want me to start with?
-Start with that drawer.
1628
01:39:10,527 --> 01:39:11,612
-Okay.
-[Terrick] How many?
1629
01:39:11,695 --> 01:39:12,821
[Michael] Yep, perfect.
1630
01:39:18,702 --> 01:39:19,828
Now, my underwear.
1631
01:39:23,165 --> 01:39:24,249
Three pair also.
1632
01:39:30,214 --> 01:39:32,091
-How's school?
-Uh, good.
1633
01:39:32,174 --> 01:39:34,218
[Michael] Good. How's your mom doing?
1634
01:39:34,301 --> 01:39:35,427
[Terrick] Good.
1635
01:39:36,053 --> 01:39:38,222
[Michael] Fold that over, please,
and lock it.
1636
01:39:38,305 --> 01:39:39,181
Sorry.
1637
01:39:41,141 --> 01:39:43,060
Yeah, both sides. Perfect, good.
1638
01:39:43,143 --> 01:39:44,353
[Ed] Now, the belt.
1639
01:39:44,436 --> 01:39:46,939
Um, let's do some pants.
I need two pair in there.
1640
01:39:49,942 --> 01:39:51,151
[drawer opening]
1641
01:39:52,861 --> 01:39:54,571
[Michael] Here, put this in.
1642
01:39:54,655 --> 01:39:55,698
Those.
1643
01:39:59,034 --> 01:40:00,119
Come here.
1644
01:40:00,869 --> 01:40:02,454
[ominous music playing]
1645
01:40:02,538 --> 01:40:05,332
You need to go to confession
before I go to Casper.
1646
01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:09,253
I went last month, in church.
1647
01:40:11,213 --> 01:40:12,548
That was last month.
1648
01:40:14,425 --> 01:40:15,968
[Ed whispers] This is perfect.
1649
01:40:20,806 --> 01:40:22,433
And then, Michael says…
1650
01:40:24,935 --> 01:40:27,438
"What sins did you confess?"
1651
01:40:28,981 --> 01:40:31,150
So what sins did you confess last time?
1652
01:40:31,984 --> 01:40:33,235
And now, Terrick,
1653
01:40:33,318 --> 01:40:36,905
you can tell whichever ones
you think you should.
1654
01:40:38,615 --> 01:40:42,369
I've cheated on a test,
and I fought with my brother.
1655
01:40:44,621 --> 01:40:45,748
That's all?
1656
01:40:49,251 --> 01:40:51,545
[ominous music building]
1657
01:40:51,628 --> 01:40:53,213
You need to confess everything.
1658
01:40:55,924 --> 01:40:57,885
[Ed] And now, Michael is going to say,
1659
01:40:59,428 --> 01:41:01,805
"The church has been
very good to your family."
1660
01:41:02,723 --> 01:41:05,976
[Michael] Look at me, the Catholic Church
has been very good to you,
1661
01:41:06,059 --> 01:41:08,520
to your mother,
to your brother and sister.
1662
01:41:08,604 --> 01:41:10,606
You don't want that
to all go away, do you?
1663
01:41:11,106 --> 01:41:13,067
[Ed] What else have you done wrong?
1664
01:41:13,150 --> 01:41:15,444
[Michael] So tell me,
what else have you done wrong?
1665
01:41:15,527 --> 01:41:16,695
And don't lie to me.
1666
01:41:17,946 --> 01:41:19,782
I don't know what you're talking about.
1667
01:41:21,241 --> 01:41:23,410
[Ed] "What about when you think of girls?"
1668
01:41:23,952 --> 01:41:25,746
What about when you think of girls?
1669
01:41:28,332 --> 01:41:29,208
I don't.
1670
01:41:29,291 --> 01:41:31,001
What do you do when you think of girls?
1671
01:41:33,462 --> 01:41:35,172
What are you talking about?
1672
01:41:37,925 --> 01:41:39,843
If you can't tell me,
then you can show me.
1673
01:41:39,927 --> 01:41:42,179
Show me what you do
when you have impure thoughts.
1674
01:41:42,262 --> 01:41:43,263
[yells] Cut!
1675
01:41:46,642 --> 01:41:47,601
[whispering] Okay, guys.
1676
01:41:47,684 --> 01:41:49,144
That was really good, Terrick.
1677
01:41:49,645 --> 01:41:51,605
-Let's go to lunch.
-[whispers] I wasn't expecting that.
1678
01:41:51,688 --> 01:41:53,440
-What's that?
-I wasn't expecting that.
1679
01:42:03,033 --> 01:42:05,702
[Dan] All right, I think we got it.
That's a wrap.
1680
01:42:06,995 --> 01:42:07,996
Good man.
1681
01:42:08,080 --> 01:42:09,998
[laughs]
1682
01:42:10,958 --> 01:42:12,459
[Dan chuckles]
1683
01:42:14,253 --> 01:42:15,295
Thank you. Good job.
1684
01:42:15,379 --> 01:42:17,256
-Oh, baby.
-I know.
1685
01:42:17,339 --> 01:42:19,174
-[chuckles]
-[sighs]
1686
01:42:19,758 --> 01:42:23,512
-[Ed] You did-- I appreciate you.
-It's so frighteningly easy to manipulate.
1687
01:42:26,640 --> 01:42:27,558
Scary.
1688
01:42:28,600 --> 01:42:29,601
[softly] Thanks.
1689
01:42:30,477 --> 01:42:31,645
[sniffles]
1690
01:42:31,728 --> 01:42:33,438
[indistinct chatter]
1691
01:42:33,522 --> 01:42:35,023
You did so good.
1692
01:42:36,358 --> 01:42:37,568
Terrick…
1693
01:42:37,651 --> 01:42:39,194
This is the legal thing I can do.
1694
01:42:39,278 --> 01:42:40,404
[laughter]
1695
01:42:41,405 --> 01:42:42,364
[Terrick] Ed.
1696
01:42:42,447 --> 01:42:44,950
-Little homie, lookit here.
-[Ed] Hey, buddy.
1697
01:42:45,033 --> 01:42:48,120
[Terrick] Just wanted to let you know,
I tried my best to tell your story.
1698
01:42:48,203 --> 01:42:49,079
Thank you.
1699
01:42:49,163 --> 01:42:52,624
-Huh? You did a good job, man.
-You did a good job, dude.
1700
01:42:52,708 --> 01:42:54,501
All right, well…
1701
01:42:56,003 --> 01:43:00,257
Hopefully you'll get
to see, uh, the final chapter
1702
01:43:00,340 --> 01:43:02,342
when that bad man goes to prison.
1703
01:43:04,094 --> 01:43:05,512
That's what we're waiting for.
1704
01:43:08,640 --> 01:43:10,642
[whirring]
1705
01:43:22,446 --> 01:43:24,573
[Ed] Well, I guess
the way I think of it is
1706
01:43:24,656 --> 01:43:30,579
this is the time that the shame
is put back where it belongs.
1707
01:43:32,706 --> 01:43:34,625
And this is the way to do that,
1708
01:43:34,708 --> 01:43:36,418
the only way that I know how.
1709
01:43:38,545 --> 01:43:42,382
[choral music playing]
1710
01:44:01,818 --> 01:44:06,698
[Ed] I end up having correspondence
between the chief of police in Cheyenne
1711
01:44:06,782 --> 01:44:10,786
and the special prosecutor
in Natrona County.
1712
01:44:10,869 --> 01:44:14,331
I realized what a pissing match
it is between these two guys,
1713
01:44:14,414 --> 01:44:17,918
as they decline to prosecute.
1714
01:44:18,001 --> 01:44:19,878
Their final paragraph is,
1715
01:44:19,962 --> 01:44:23,966
"We very much regret that we
have come to these difficult conclusions."
1716
01:44:24,049 --> 01:44:28,679
"However, this letter in no way
should be used as a tool
1717
01:44:28,762 --> 01:44:30,555
to vindicate Bishop Hart."
1718
01:44:30,639 --> 01:44:35,686
"We have also concluded as part
of our review of this investigation
1719
01:44:35,769 --> 01:44:40,607
that EG," that's me,
"was a victim of Bishop Hart."
1720
01:44:41,566 --> 01:44:43,110
So he's gonna have just sat down…
1721
01:44:43,193 --> 01:44:45,362
In the end, it's because,
1722
01:44:45,445 --> 01:44:50,284
and this was indicated to me
in a conversation with their office,
1723
01:44:50,367 --> 01:44:52,536
they have scarce resources
1724
01:44:52,619 --> 01:44:56,498
and there's no way Hart
is going to live through
1725
01:44:56,581 --> 01:45:02,254
the duration of a trial
to get a guilty verdict.
1726
01:45:03,171 --> 01:45:06,008
And with that, the case was dropped.
1727
01:45:06,717 --> 01:45:07,592
[laughs]
1728
01:45:09,094 --> 01:45:10,304
[grunts]
1729
01:45:16,810 --> 01:45:17,811
[Dan chuckles]
1730
01:45:20,188 --> 01:45:21,440
[wood clatters]
1731
01:45:25,193 --> 01:45:26,570
[Dan] Hmm. All right.
1732
01:45:27,362 --> 01:45:29,031
[Ed sighs]
1733
01:45:30,073 --> 01:45:34,369
[Ed] Bishop Bigler
put me in touch with someone
1734
01:45:34,453 --> 01:45:36,580
that could get a letter to the Pope.
1735
01:45:37,497 --> 01:45:39,249
So I wrote a letter to the Pope.
1736
01:45:40,959 --> 01:45:45,422
And then, to my shock,
the Pope wrote back to me.
1737
01:45:47,716 --> 01:45:51,303
And he said that he asks my forgiveness.
1738
01:45:53,638 --> 01:45:55,891
And he asked me to pray for him,
1739
01:45:56,683 --> 01:45:58,518
and he promised to pray for me.
1740
01:46:03,774 --> 01:46:05,484
In the end,
1741
01:46:05,567 --> 01:46:11,406
they declined
to remove Hart from the priesthood,
1742
01:46:12,199 --> 01:46:17,454
and my assurance from the Pope
that this would be addressed…
1743
01:46:19,956 --> 01:46:23,585
I just don't think the Pope
had the kind of clout
1744
01:46:23,668 --> 01:46:25,087
that he thought that he did.
1745
01:46:37,182 --> 01:46:40,644
[Joe] This is Nativity of Mary
school and church,
1746
01:46:40,727 --> 01:46:43,688
and this is where all the abuse started.
1747
01:46:47,359 --> 01:46:49,069
This is where Miss Denton was,
1748
01:46:49,861 --> 01:46:53,949
and in the lawsuit, she took the stand
and lied through her teeth.
1749
01:46:54,032 --> 01:46:54,908
-Oh!
-Yup.
1750
01:47:09,256 --> 01:47:10,632
This is the confessional.
1751
01:47:14,678 --> 01:47:16,346
[Joe sobs]
1752
01:47:28,024 --> 01:47:29,484
So that's where that happened.
1753
01:47:32,237 --> 01:47:33,363
Can I shut that?
1754
01:47:33,447 --> 01:47:34,865
[Dan] I'd love for you to shut that.
1755
01:47:38,660 --> 01:47:40,662
[footsteps approaching]
1756
01:48:06,897 --> 01:48:10,859
I started this letter,
I don't even know how many times, to you.
1757
01:48:14,905 --> 01:48:18,700
"Dear Joe,
this is the hardest thing to do."
1758
01:48:18,783 --> 01:48:20,118
"Why is this so hard?"
1759
01:48:20,744 --> 01:48:24,498
"I mean, you're me, or rather you were me,
so why does this feel impossible?"
1760
01:48:25,081 --> 01:48:26,791
"There are things you need to know,
1761
01:48:26,875 --> 01:48:29,878
light to shine into the darkness
and truths to replace those lies."
1762
01:48:31,546 --> 01:48:35,425
"I know what has happened,
and what is about to happen to you."
1763
01:48:35,509 --> 01:48:38,303
"And in this regard,
you actually know more than me."
1764
01:48:38,386 --> 01:48:40,680
"There are still things
I don't know that you do,
1765
01:48:40,764 --> 01:48:44,851
memories I've not yet remembered
and yet still weigh upon my mind."
1766
01:48:46,561 --> 01:48:48,980
"You will lock away those memories
in the days to come."
1767
01:48:49,523 --> 01:48:52,108
"You'll be trapped,
pushed down and silenced."
1768
01:48:53,193 --> 01:48:56,321
"But you do it as
the only way that you see to survive."
1769
01:48:57,447 --> 01:48:59,407
"It's taken me nearly
40 years to understand
1770
01:48:59,491 --> 01:49:02,410
that although time
continues to march forward,
1771
01:49:02,494 --> 01:49:04,704
I continue to be anchored in the past."
1772
01:49:05,205 --> 01:49:07,374
"By you, to you and with you."
1773
01:49:08,500 --> 01:49:11,503
[Mike] Me and my Dad,
we came here every morning for coffee.
1774
01:49:11,586 --> 01:49:12,837
I can see him right here.
1775
01:49:12,921 --> 01:49:14,965
I'd say, "Doug,
God, can you believe this?"
1776
01:49:15,048 --> 01:49:17,300
"Rob's here filming us."
1777
01:49:17,384 --> 01:49:19,844
"We're going to be in a movie,
1778
01:49:19,928 --> 01:49:22,556
and you're going to be talked about
in the movie, Doug."
1779
01:49:22,639 --> 01:49:25,100
"People are going to
know about you in this movie."
1780
01:49:26,434 --> 01:49:30,272
I told you back then I'm never, ever
1781
01:49:30,355 --> 01:49:34,025
going to give up seeking
what little justice is possible
1782
01:49:34,109 --> 01:49:36,152
from these fucking assholes.
1783
01:49:38,238 --> 01:49:42,534
And I will never stop, never.
I can't stop.
1784
01:49:44,119 --> 01:49:46,705
[Joe] "And as you repress
the memories of what happened to us,
1785
01:49:46,788 --> 01:49:49,124
I trapped you,
along with those terrible times,
1786
01:49:49,207 --> 01:49:51,042
deep in the dark places of my mind."
1787
01:49:52,085 --> 01:49:54,546
"How awful it is to be locked inside,
1788
01:49:54,629 --> 01:49:56,339
to be both prisoner and jailer."
1789
01:49:57,257 --> 01:50:00,093
"How awful it is
to not just be silenced in the present,
1790
01:50:00,927 --> 01:50:04,139
but also to be the originator
of that silence in the past."
1791
01:50:04,222 --> 01:50:08,184
[Tom] But Lord,
I know you had other plans.
1792
01:50:10,353 --> 01:50:11,771
Other plans for me.
1793
01:50:13,607 --> 01:50:15,191
And that's okay.
1794
01:50:19,195 --> 01:50:20,238
Dude!
1795
01:50:21,156 --> 01:50:22,449
[chuckles]
1796
01:50:33,752 --> 01:50:36,504
[Joe] "It's an incredible sacrifice
that you're about to make,
1797
01:50:36,588 --> 01:50:40,008
but you need to know
that it was the right thing to do
1798
01:50:40,091 --> 01:50:42,635
and that, with time, you're finally free."
1799
01:50:43,970 --> 01:50:46,556
"And as you recover,
you even find your voice."
1800
01:50:47,974 --> 01:50:49,934
"Your sacrifice has saved me."
1801
01:50:50,518 --> 01:50:51,936
Are you flooded with memories?
1802
01:50:52,020 --> 01:50:54,606
Yeah, it's-- Actually,
I can't believe I'm standing here
1803
01:50:54,689 --> 01:50:56,483
'cause I swore I'd never come back in.
1804
01:51:00,487 --> 01:51:01,613
[sighs]
1805
01:51:02,197 --> 01:51:05,283
-You want some alone time? To reflect?
-[Michael] Yeah, just for a second.
1806
01:51:05,367 --> 01:51:06,826
Just to think for a minute.
1807
01:51:25,804 --> 01:51:26,638
That's it.
1808
01:51:26,721 --> 01:51:27,639
-[Dan] That's it?
-Yup.
1809
01:51:27,722 --> 01:51:29,307
-[Dan] You did it?
-[Michael] Yeah.
1810
01:51:34,020 --> 01:51:38,191
[electric razor buzzing]
1811
01:51:38,274 --> 01:51:42,862
[Joe] "You're the fire that burns within,
no longer with hatred and self-disgust,
1812
01:51:42,946 --> 01:51:44,864
but with the need to share with others
1813
01:51:44,948 --> 01:51:47,117
and help lead guys like you
to a better place."
1814
01:51:58,670 --> 01:52:00,630
[Dan] So, this whole thing
means a lot to me,
1815
01:52:00,714 --> 01:52:03,717
and I appreciate you
helping me with this part.
1816
01:52:05,343 --> 01:52:07,846
This is a symbol for me
to say I'm taking this back.
1817
01:52:08,722 --> 01:52:10,723
It doesn't have any power over me anymore.
1818
01:52:12,642 --> 01:52:15,395
And you helped that
for everybody in the show.
1819
01:52:15,478 --> 01:52:16,688
That's been great.
1820
01:52:17,939 --> 01:52:18,940
So…
1821
01:52:20,191 --> 01:52:23,319
Yeah, fuck this place. Let's get home.
1822
01:52:27,991 --> 01:52:29,159
[Terrick] How you feeling?
1823
01:52:29,784 --> 01:52:31,745
[Dan] It's a big thing, but I'm good!
1824
01:52:31,828 --> 01:52:32,871
I'm good.
1825
01:52:36,458 --> 01:52:37,459
Hmm?
1826
01:52:38,543 --> 01:52:40,628
[Joe] "It was you that chose
to keep living each day."
1827
01:52:40,712 --> 01:52:41,838
-I'm proud of you.
-Thank you.
1828
01:52:41,921 --> 01:52:43,798
[Joe] "It was you
that chose to get out of bed."
1829
01:52:43,882 --> 01:52:44,924
[chuckles]
1830
01:52:45,008 --> 01:52:47,051
[Joe] "In short,
you chose to live and to love,
1831
01:52:47,135 --> 01:52:49,971
and in return you chose to be loved."
1832
01:52:50,597 --> 01:52:52,766
"Remember your
Superman sheets and curtains?"
1833
01:52:52,849 --> 01:52:55,727
"Superman was your hero,
he was not human."
1834
01:52:55,810 --> 01:52:58,271
"How many times
did you feel like you were not human?"
1835
01:52:58,897 --> 01:53:00,440
"You wanted so badly to be him,
1836
01:53:00,523 --> 01:53:02,484
to be anyone other than you."
1837
01:53:02,567 --> 01:53:04,694
"You wanted to fight
for truth and justice,
1838
01:53:04,777 --> 01:53:05,945
he was your epic hero."
1839
01:53:06,946 --> 01:53:09,073
"Well, that's exactly
what you have become."
1840
01:53:09,157 --> 01:53:10,825
"You entered the battle of your life
1841
01:53:10,909 --> 01:53:13,411
and have gone on
to use those tears, fears and pain
1842
01:53:13,495 --> 01:53:16,539
to reach out to
and better understand other boys in pain
1843
01:53:16,623 --> 01:53:19,125
who struggle through
their own epic battles."
1844
01:53:19,209 --> 01:53:20,752
"You became an advocate for youth
1845
01:53:20,835 --> 01:53:23,755
and fight, in a very real way,
for truth and justice."
1846
01:53:25,089 --> 01:53:28,551
"I hope the strength you showed
is rewarded with peace and contentment."
1847
01:53:29,427 --> 01:53:30,678
"Make no mistake,
1848
01:53:31,304 --> 01:53:34,140
you are the epic hero in the story of us."
1849
01:53:41,314 --> 01:53:42,649
[inhales shakily]
1850
01:53:43,650 --> 01:53:46,611
That's it. That's it.
1851
01:53:48,196 --> 01:53:49,989
-[crew applauds]
-That's it.
1852
01:53:55,954 --> 01:53:57,038
[Dan] The film is shot.
1853
01:53:58,414 --> 01:53:59,582
[man] Incredible.
1854
01:54:00,458 --> 01:54:01,459
[Dan whispers] Good job.
1855
01:54:01,960 --> 01:54:02,919
[exhales]
1856
01:54:04,420 --> 01:54:05,380
[sighs emotionally]
1857
01:54:05,463 --> 01:54:06,506
How are you?
1858
01:54:07,048 --> 01:54:08,091
Good.
1859
01:54:13,096 --> 01:54:14,389
Let's get out of here.
1860
01:54:15,098 --> 01:54:16,432
[chuckles]
1861
01:54:26,276 --> 01:54:30,363
[church bell ringing]
1862
01:54:47,880 --> 01:54:53,469
[choral music playing]