1 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:08,735 Hello, folks at home. 2 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,489 I'm 100 yards from the top of Mt. Everest. 3 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,118 Yet there's a part of me that can't wait to end this silly vacation... 4 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,621 ...and get back to work, where the real challenges await. 5 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,333 Shouldn't you take your age into consideration, sir? 6 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,460 After all, you're 82 years old. 7 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,171 Am I 82? 8 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:31,216 These numbers mean nothing to me. My journey through life has just begun. 9 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,843 Sir! Sir! 10 00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:36,096 - Oota tells me the storm's getting worse. - Very, very bad. 11 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:39,433 We must abandon our ascent and go down the mountain immediately. 12 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,519 We're so very close to the top, Mr. Puffy Jacket Man. 13 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,523 I'm heading down now, sir. I advise you to do the same. 14 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,941 All right, so be it. 15 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,945 See you at the staff meeting on Monday. And I'll bring the Krispy Kremes! 16 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,926 There, once again, the sad footage we've been watching all day. 17 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:19,014 A beloved visionary who turned a single radio station into a global media empire... 18 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,559 ...Preston Blake, dead at 82. More after this. 19 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,191 You're watching the Blake Broadcasting Network. 20 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,985 The stock of Blake Media, the parent company of this network... 21 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,655 ...plunged this morning on the news of Blake's death... 22 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,867 ...but bounced back after a statement by Blake's longtime number 2, Chuck Cedar. 23 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,203 All the king's horses and all the king's men... 24 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,748 ...couldn't save Preston Blake from becoming a human Popsicle. 25 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:49,670 And sources indicate that Blake, who was single and had no children, left no will. 26 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,841 So who inherits Blake's 49 percent stake in the company's stock... 27 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,093 ...valued at $40 billion? 28 00:02:56,426 --> 00:03:00,722 We'll discuss that with people close to Blake, including his longtime barber... 29 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:04,726 ...on tomorrow's 'Inside Access'. Until then, I'm Mac McGrath. 30 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,689 - Are we clear? - Clear! 31 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,316 Babe? Where's Babe? 32 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,902 - I'll come over and choke you to death. - Babe! 33 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,279 I got to go. 34 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,865 Freaking barber! That's the best you could get me? 35 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,617 People tell everything to their barbers. 36 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:24,162 He's been his closest confidant for more than 20 years. 37 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:28,000 I'm not putting this guy on the air. Get me something better and get it quick. 38 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,710 Or it's your ass. 39 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,883 Did we find this heir yet? 40 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,969 We should be getting that information via fax any minute now. 41 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,430 I have lawyers looking through birth records... 42 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:44,308 ...in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and Guam. 43 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:48,896 In fact, we have a little pool going. Guam's paying off at 1000-1. 44 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,064 Is this a joke to you? 45 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:55,652 Some genetic lottery winner now controls the fate of this company. 46 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,322 No, I agree. It's troubling. 47 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,033 Troubling? Your beard is troubling. 48 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:05,704 Your pipe is troubling. Your yellow teeth are really troubling. 49 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:09,625 But if I lose control of this company, it'll be catastrophic. 50 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,050 Does anyone know a Dr. Mendlesohn? 51 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,303 Congratulations, you have a spastic colon. 52 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,806 That would explain a lot. 53 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,365 "Longfellow Deeds." 54 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,374 Chuck, I think we're there. 55 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,002 My God, it's all green. 56 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:03,512 Look at that thing. Fighter pilot on your left. 57 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,515 Got that sucker! 58 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,781 You guys lost? 59 00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,659 We're looking for somebody: Longfellow Deeds. 60 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,245 Is that Deeds' first name? 61 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,998 If the Deeds you're referring to is Longfellow Deeds... 62 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,333 ...then yes, that is Deeds' first name. 63 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,420 I don't know Deeds' first name. Maybe it's Greg. 64 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,006 - Maybe it's Longfellow. - Maybe. 65 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:42,676 But I don't know. I know another guy named Greg. You want me to call him? 66 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,846 No! Thank you. Please, just tell us where Deeds lives. 67 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:49,933 All right, don't get all hyperactive. I'll take you straight to him. 68 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:57,900 Step right in, fellows. 69 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:04,114 - He lives at a pizzeria? - You can't live in a pizzeria. 70 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,366 He lives upstairs. He owns it. 71 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,744 Excuse me. Is Mr. Deeds around? 72 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:13,248 No, I'm sorry, he's out making deliveries. The regular delivery guy called in sick. 73 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:18,504 - But you don't look too sick, Murph. - I forgot I was faking sick today. 74 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:24,134 - You two tricked me into coming here. - Murph, put on an apron and give me a hand. 75 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,679 You guys played me like a fiddle. "Touché"! 76 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,641 Is Mrs. Deeds around? 77 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,644 Mrs. Deeds? I don't think that poor boy ever had a date. 78 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:37,898 - Do you know when he'll be back? - Before lunch is out. Today's Card Day. 79 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,234 - Card Day? - Deeds writes greeting cards. 80 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:43,445 Every Monday, he tries out a few and then he chooses one... 81 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,073 ...and sends it to one of the big card companies. 82 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,492 Now, he hasn't sold any yet, but... 83 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,952 ...he will. 84 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,955 You guys need anything else here? 85 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,873 "To my sweetheart 86 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,585 "I love you completely, with all my soul 87 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:01,797 "Without you I'm nothing, a butterless roll" 88 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,550 That's good. 89 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,884 Like that, gentlemen? 90 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,055 Hallmark said it showed potential, which is pretty cool. 91 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,432 - Longfellow Deeds? - Just call me Deeds, pal. 92 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,309 Easy with that Longfellow stuff. 93 00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,311 Chuck Cedar, CEO. 94 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,064 Cecil Anderson, General Counsel of Blake Media. 95 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:22,150 Handshakes are for strangers. We hug around here, buddy. 96 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,444 What's up? Welcome to town. 97 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,531 Come on, don't be shy. 98 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,743 I like that beard. Abe Lincoln-style. Have a seat, boys. 99 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,078 - Murph! - Deeds? 100 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,206 - I thought you were sick today. - That was a lie, pal. 101 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,708 You fooled me. 102 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,917 - I did? - Yeah. 103 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,919 - Mr. Deeds? - Just Deeds. 104 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,965 You sounded so sick on the phone. You're good. Do that sick voice again. 105 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:49,178 Deeds, I can't come to work today. I think I got strep throat. 106 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,851 That's unbelievable. You could be a radio actor or something. 107 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,395 - Thanks, buddy. - Sure. 108 00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:01,523 Hey, Deeds. Read a card already. I got to get back on duty. 109 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,694 I'd better get up there. Good meeting you, gentlemen. 110 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:08,655 Mr. Deeds, does the name Preston Blake mean anything to you? 111 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,866 Mom's maiden name was Blake. 112 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:15,162 Only one this week, but I got a feeling it'll end my losing streak with Hallmark. 113 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,917 Preston Blake was your mother's uncle. 114 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,003 You're kidding me, I got an uncle? Awesome. How's he doing? 115 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,296 He's dead. 116 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,299 Oh, no. If there's anything I can do... 117 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,092 Deeds! Deeds! 118 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,136 I'll be right with you guys. 119 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,265 When Mr. Blake died, he left an enormous fortune. 120 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,227 $40 billion. He left it all... 121 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,270 ...to you, Deeds. 122 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,149 Wait a minute. 123 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:48,946 What are you talking about, you got to get back on duty? You're not a cop. 124 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,657 You're right. I got this down at the costume shop. 125 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,492 But it can't hurt to pretend. 126 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,328 What a wisenheimer! 127 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,413 Okay, everybody, it's showtime. 128 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,417 I call this "50th Anniversary Card." 129 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,753 Which is quite a feat nowadays. 130 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:09,341 "Fifty years have passed by with laughter and tears 131 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,261 "Do you remember when we went to the zoo 132 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,721 "and that time we drank all the beers" 133 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,473 Beers! 134 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,520 "I promise to love you for 50 years more 135 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:25,357 "Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor" 136 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,653 That was awesome! How's he do it? 137 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,993 It looks like you won't have to deliver pizza anymore, Deeds. 138 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,120 You're a very rich man. 139 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,789 What's that got to do with delivering pizzas? 140 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,500 Ladies! The top one is yours. 141 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,627 - Thank you, Deeds. - Of course. 142 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,671 - Yummy! - So, Deeds, what's new? 143 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,924 I found out I have an uncle, but he died. 144 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,467 That's too bad. 145 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:56,263 - He gave me $40 billion, though. - Well, that's nice. 146 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,347 Oh, yeah! 147 00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,601 Don't you go and spend it all on some fancy record player. 148 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,144 I won't. 149 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:03,812 Who are your friends, Deeds? 150 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:08,317 I'm sorry. Chuck, Cecil, this is Jane, Kitty and Sue. 151 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:12,696 - Pleasure to meet you, Cecil. - Pleasure's all mine, Kitty. 152 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,657 Or should I just say, "Meow"? 153 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,828 Keep it in your pants, Anderson. 154 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:25,584 - Now, why am I inheriting this money? - You're Mr. Blake's closest living relative. 155 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,504 - Really? He had nobody else? - Nope, that's it. 156 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,714 Gosh, I never even met the guy. 157 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,719 Would you hold this for a second? 158 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,223 Mr. Wetherley. How you doing, pal? 159 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,518 Very well, Deeds. Just going to the pharmacy. 160 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,895 Well, let me get you there a little quicker. 161 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,275 - How's your wife? - She's fine. 162 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:52,819 - Terrific. Say hi for me. - I will. 163 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,238 Okay. Here you go. 164 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,325 - Thanks for the lift, Deeds. - You got it. 165 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:05,082 We need you to come back to New York with us. Just for a few days. 166 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,626 We're drawing up some papers you'll need to sign. 167 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:08,919 What kind of papers? 168 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:13,799 Technically, you've inherited 300 million shares of Blake Media, Inc. 169 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,302 Chuck and l, along with some of the partners, will buy that stock... 170 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:20,639 ...for $40 billion, which we've had to borrow from various... 171 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,891 Who cares about the financial mumbo jumbo? 172 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,727 We need a little time to dot the t's and cross the i's. 173 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:29,231 And while we're doing that, we need you to stay away from the press. 174 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,568 The media frenzy will die down in a couple weeks but until then... 175 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:36,405 You don't want reporters crawling all over this lovely little town, do you? 176 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:37,865 Oh, no! 177 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,161 - Crazy Eyes! - What? 178 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:49,251 How you doing, pal? I got your pizza, just the way you like it. 179 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:50,752 Oh, yes! 180 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:55,007 French fries and Oreos. You know me all too well, Deeds. 181 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,633 What are you in for? 182 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,178 I'm doing a one-nighter for biting Ed the mailman. 183 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,931 The guy was trying to cast a spell on me, like a wizard. 184 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,895 - Are you sure about that? - I don't know. Maybe he was just waving. 185 00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,983 - Who are your friends? - This is Chuck and Cecil from New York. 186 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,694 I don't like them. 187 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,030 Okay. Nice seeing you. 188 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:22,993 I've never been to New York before. I suppose I could check out the sights. 189 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,454 - Give me an hour to pack, okay? - You got it. 190 00:12:25,496 --> 00:12:29,458 I'll be the first guy to leave here since Jimmy McNally went to Disney World. 191 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,462 See you later, everybody! 192 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:40,511 Tomorrow is "Kids Eat For Free" Day. Don't forget to clean the highchairs. 193 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,013 Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. 194 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,265 - Go, have a good time! - I'll miss you. 195 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,434 'Bye, Jan. Smell you later, Murph. 196 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,687 - Give us a card! - Yeah! 197 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:57,319 "On my way to the big city for a business trip 198 00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:02,032 "Never, ever left Mandrake Falls before Ain't that a pip 199 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:08,539 "But while I'm gone, I know I'll miss you all a lot" 200 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:12,918 "So bring your rich butt back here and buy us all a shot" 201 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,296 You got it, pal! 202 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,219 Take it easy. 203 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:34,773 The biggest story of the year and we've got nothing? 204 00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:38,902 Do you people want to be tabloid journalists? Because I don't think so. 205 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:42,155 You've got to be ruthless. When I started out... 206 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:45,117 ...I slept in Tom and Roseanne's dumpster for two days... 207 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,036 ...disguised as a giant carton of ice cream. - I got it! 208 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,206 My source at Blake says the company helicopter... 209 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:54,751 ...took off from there this afternoon with two male passengers aboard... 210 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,795 ...headed for Mandrake Falls. - Where? 211 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,173 Some little hick-ass town in New Hampshire. 212 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:03,010 But now they're on their way back with three male passengers. 213 00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,721 - That's one more! - Duh! 214 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:09,683 That third guy's our heir. Nice work, Marty. 215 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,186 They were supposed to arrive at Blake Media at 5:00. 216 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,479 But they made an unscheduled stop in Connecticut. 217 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,274 I'm so happy I got the Big Bacon Classic. 218 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:19,818 Thanks for stopping. This is unbelievable. 219 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:23,030 - Happy to do it. - How's that Frosty treating you, Cecil? 220 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:26,867 You got some on your beard. I'm just kidding. 221 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,660 I got him big time, man. 222 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,830 I'm going on the air in two hours' time. 223 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:35,918 And I want that guy's life story by then. I'm talking to you, Jim. 224 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,795 And I'm also talking to you, Babe. Babe? 225 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,215 Where the hell's Babe? 226 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:44,343 You missed another staff meeting. Mac's pissed. 227 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:47,804 He won't be pissed when I crack this Blake story. 228 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,099 - What do you got? - Nothing. Do you have anything? 229 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,393 I'll have a lot more in a few hours. 230 00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:54,937 You got to be a pal. 231 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:58,607 I need this story. I'm flat broke and Mac is going to fire me. 232 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:01,610 How're you flat broke? You make more money than anyone here. 233 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,529 - What did you blow it on? - Shoes. 234 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:06,532 I'll tell you everything I know over lunch tomorrow... 235 00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:08,617 ...as long as your club promoter boyfriend... 236 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,453 ...doesn't try to run me over with his motorcycle again. 237 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:15,374 You're safe there. Ken and I are kind of taking a break. 238 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,084 Really? So he moved out? 239 00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:21,713 Babe, what are you staying here for? I have a spare bedroom. 240 00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:23,966 We tried that once, remember? 241 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:28,178 I woke up and you were standing over my bed, breathing heavily. 242 00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:31,348 I was having an asthma attack. I couldn't find my puffer. 243 00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:38,772 Easy, fellows. The Biggie Fries are making a comeback. 244 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:43,527 You guys football fans? The Pats could take the conference this year. 245 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,655 The Dolphins are overrated and the Jets are choke artists. 246 00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:48,407 I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds. 247 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,827 - Just Deeds. Why is that, though? - You own the Jets, Deeds. 248 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,245 I do? 249 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,665 That sucks. 250 00:15:57,708 --> 00:16:02,004 I hope they don't play the Pats in the playoffs or I'll have to kill myself. 251 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,175 I'm still very worried about this. 252 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:10,512 What do you got in that pipe, hashish? You're paranoid. 253 00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:13,974 - This guy's perfect for us. - What if he won't sell us his shares? 254 00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:16,393 If I got Blake to trust me with his company... 255 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,104 ...I can get this moron to do the same. Look at him. 256 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,507 That's right, Anderson. 257 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,439 Enough! 258 00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,067 Party pooper. 259 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,114 Holy cow! 260 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:13,200 What's up, New York? 261 00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:17,830 It's an honor to come to the greatest city in the world 262 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:30,175 Congratulations, Deeds, you're now the most eligible bachelor in New York. 263 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,262 I don't want to meet a girl just because I'm wicked rich. 264 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,973 That's nice, but let's see how you stick to your guns... 265 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,393 ...once you've paid a visit to one of our many fine gentlemen's clubs. 266 00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:40,227 What? 267 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,896 My father saved my mother. 268 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:45,524 She was figure skating and fell through the ice. 269 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:49,319 I always thought I'd meet a girl the same way. Bullspit like that. 270 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:53,240 Then I'll just keep a lookout for ladies in distress, as it were. 271 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,367 - That'd be nice. - Hey, Mandrake Falls! 272 00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:58,328 Security, stop that guy! 273 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:00,747 Stop! Come back! 274 00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:04,001 He'll get $100,000 for the picture. It'll be on the news in an hour. 275 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,004 He deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled. 276 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:10,799 No, he deserves to get his throat cut, the filthy spy. Come on, let's go. 277 00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,559 So this is where my uncle lived? 278 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:24,188 Yes, sir. For the last 35 years of his astonishing life. 279 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:27,900 - You kind of snuck up on me there. - I am very, very sneaky, sir. 280 00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:30,736 I see that. My name is Deeds. 281 00:18:30,861 --> 00:18:33,322 I am Emilio, sir. I am your servant. 282 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:37,784 Servant? I don't want a servant, but if you want to be my friend, I'll take that. 283 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:39,953 Friends. 284 00:18:40,496 --> 00:18:42,372 Yes, good friends. 285 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:47,711 Would you like to go down to your apartment? I'm sure it's been an exhausting day. 286 00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:50,756 - That okay with you, Chuck? - You'll be safe there. 287 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:53,967 It'll take us a couple days to draw up the papers for you to sign. 288 00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:56,011 - Go make yourself at home. - Terrific. 289 00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,430 - Later. - I will be with you shortly, sir. 290 00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:01,558 You got it. Nice to meet you. I'm Deeds. 291 00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:05,103 - I'm Reuben, sir. - This is a wicked nice elevator. 292 00:19:05,229 --> 00:19:08,357 Keep an eye on him, Emilio. Or it's your ass. 293 00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,067 It's nice to see you too, sir. 294 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,945 So how's the elevator business treating you, Reuben? 295 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,988 It has its ups and downs. 296 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,533 All right! All right! 297 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,701 That was good. 298 00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:23,121 Jeesum crow, how'd you get down here so fast? 299 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:26,041 Sneaky-sneaky, sir. Right this way. 300 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:30,838 Wow. 301 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,467 Wow. 302 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,887 Is something the matter, sir? 303 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,101 - That's an echo, sir. - Yeah, you try it. 304 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,645 - Me, sir? - It's a lot of fun. 305 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:53,735 Come on, you can do it louder than that. 306 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,037 - Serious. - Thank you, sir. 307 00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,957 Hey, buddy, how you doing? You want to give it a shot? 308 00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:10,419 Nice. 309 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,299 You guys want to join us? Make a weird noise. 310 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:28,145 That was a great time. Well, I'm tired. I'd like to go to sleep. 311 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:31,106 - This way. - Thank you very much. Good night, everyone. 312 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,524 Good night. 313 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,119 You just going to lie there and let the "Post" take your story? 314 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,843 What's up, New York? 315 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:11,563 He had a water fountain in his room. I love it. 316 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,774 He had a water fountain in his room. I love it. 317 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:23,909 That's Hawaiian Punch. 318 00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:25,953 He adored... 319 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,371 ...Hawaiian Punch. 320 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:31,667 Wow! You kind of just snuck up on me there. 321 00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:35,504 I fear you're underestimating the sneakiness, sir. 322 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,423 I guess I was. What are you doing down there? 323 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:41,218 I am assisting you with your sock change. 324 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:44,596 You'd change my socks for me? You don't got to do that. Stand up. 325 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:45,472 Thank you. 326 00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:48,141 Besides, you don't want to have to touch my right foot. 327 00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:51,895 I got wicked bad frostbite when I was in the Scouts. Check it out. 328 00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:58,819 Pretty messed up, huh? 329 00:21:59,111 --> 00:22:03,365 The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever. 330 00:22:04,158 --> 00:22:05,826 Yeah, I've heard that before. 331 00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:09,037 But the weird thing is I got no feeling left in it. 332 00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:11,874 So you could jump on it and it wouldn't hurt me. 333 00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:15,335 - Go ahead, jump on it. - I'd really rather not, sir. 334 00:22:15,419 --> 00:22:16,920 Please jump on my foot. 335 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:28,891 I didn't feel that. 336 00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:33,061 What else you got? Get that fireplace poker and whack my foot. 337 00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:37,024 - Do I absolutely have to? - It's going to be fun. Just grab it. 338 00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:41,570 All my friends do this when they're wasted. 339 00:22:41,987 --> 00:22:42,946 Come on. 340 00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:45,699 Go ahead, give it a whack. 341 00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:50,704 - Nothing. - Really? 342 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,039 Isn't that sick? 343 00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:56,126 Didn't feel that. Isn't that awesome? Go ahead. 344 00:22:56,168 --> 00:22:57,127 Nothing. 345 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,381 You're starting to like it, aren't you? Chop that wood! 346 00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:03,050 That's it! 347 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,138 You're sick! You're sick! Why would you do that? 348 00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,140 I'm just kidding you, pal. 349 00:23:11,475 --> 00:23:15,145 - You had me going there. - I saw your face, you were like... 350 00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:20,609 I got to find out from Cedar and Anderson what I'm supposed to do today. 351 00:23:20,651 --> 00:23:23,820 So could you take that out of my foot? I'm nailed to the ground. 352 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:25,822 There you go. 353 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:29,618 I must insist on absolute secrecy regarding this discussion... 354 00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:32,287 ...till I've officially acquired Mr. Blake's shares. 355 00:23:32,371 --> 00:23:34,873 If that's acceptable, then as far as I'm concerned... 356 00:23:34,957 --> 00:23:37,417 ...you've just bought 2,000 radio stations. 357 00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:40,003 Good morning. 358 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,422 Deeds. 359 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:43,966 What's up? 360 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:45,926 Doing a little business. 361 00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:52,558 This room's an echo room, too. I'm sure you guys already knew that. 362 00:23:53,976 --> 00:23:55,018 May I help you? 363 00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:58,188 I just wanted to see if there's anything I should do today. 364 00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,650 I think we've got everything under control. 365 00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:06,363 There's got to be something. Until I sign those papers I own this place, right? 366 00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:09,116 What? 367 00:24:09,575 --> 00:24:12,035 Ladies and gentlemen, pardon me a moment, please. 368 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:12,995 Of course. 369 00:24:13,287 --> 00:24:16,999 What's up, buddy? I was dreaming about Frosties all last night. You? 370 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,710 I tried to make my own at home, but it wasn't the same. 371 00:24:21,461 --> 00:24:22,462 Deeds. 372 00:24:22,546 --> 00:24:26,341 Every stockholder, large and small, has a say in the operation of this company. 373 00:24:26,425 --> 00:24:29,011 They have this say at the annual stockholders' meeting. 374 00:24:29,052 --> 00:24:32,681 The other 364 days of the year, the officers of the company, like me... 375 00:24:32,764 --> 00:24:35,559 ...run the show. - You mean now that my uncle's gone. 376 00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:37,978 Yeah, and it's not all fun and games. 377 00:24:38,270 --> 00:24:41,523 This company is a player on so many levels and in so many areas... 378 00:24:41,607 --> 00:24:44,860 ...that running it is literally a 24-hour-a-day job. 379 00:24:45,444 --> 00:24:48,113 I only got three hours of sleep last night. 380 00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,158 Then it's actually a 21-hour-a-day job, huh? 381 00:24:51,450 --> 00:24:54,411 Move it, lady. I don't give a damn about no meeting. 382 00:24:54,578 --> 00:24:56,038 Mr. Cedar, I am sorry... 383 00:24:56,497 --> 00:25:00,876 I passed for 3,500 yards last season and I ain't gonna touch a football... 384 00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:05,380 ...until you get off your fat, rich asses and renegotiate my bullshit contract. 385 00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:09,218 Easy with the language, buddy. There are ladies present. 386 00:25:10,427 --> 00:25:12,804 Shut the hell up, rich boy! 387 00:25:13,472 --> 00:25:17,017 I want more money, or you all can just suck my... 388 00:25:21,522 --> 00:25:22,648 I warned you. 389 00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:27,945 You went down like a sack of potatoes, I'll tell you that much. Come on. 390 00:25:29,613 --> 00:25:31,990 Come on, big man. Upsy-daisy. 391 00:25:32,157 --> 00:25:34,576 Mesdames and Gentlemen, footballl 392 00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,913 What's the problem with your contract? 393 00:25:38,914 --> 00:25:42,876 I figured if I played well, I'd renegotiate and get more money. 394 00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:46,463 If you didn't play well, could we renegotiate and pay you less? 395 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:47,756 Shit, no! 396 00:25:48,257 --> 00:25:49,925 I mean, no. 397 00:25:50,968 --> 00:25:53,095 Doesn't seem fair to me. 398 00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:57,140 - He led the League in touchdown passes. - That's okay, Chuck. I got this one. 399 00:25:57,766 --> 00:26:00,435 Listen, fellows, I want more money... 400 00:26:00,811 --> 00:26:03,105 ...or I ain't even gonna play another down. 401 00:26:06,233 --> 00:26:08,318 Well, we'll have to let you go then. 402 00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:12,197 - "Let me go"? - Yeah, you're fired. 403 00:26:13,824 --> 00:26:15,576 So can I sign with another team? 404 00:26:15,659 --> 00:26:18,537 You can do anything. I suggest you change your attitude... 405 00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:20,747 ...or nobody will want to work with you. 406 00:26:22,291 --> 00:26:23,250 'Bye. 407 00:26:24,835 --> 00:26:25,836 Deeds. 408 00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:29,631 Kevin won the Heisman Trophy two years ago. He is our best player. 409 00:26:29,715 --> 00:26:33,427 - Don't worry, he'll be back. - Biggest mistake of your lives! 410 00:26:33,719 --> 00:26:34,970 This thing is cool. 411 00:26:35,721 --> 00:26:39,975 Why don't you get out and enjoy the city? Everything's fine here. Take that with you. 412 00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:43,478 I'll leave it here. That's all right. But call me if you need me. 413 00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:46,648 - Absolutely. - Thanks. Love you, Anderson. 414 00:26:46,857 --> 00:26:51,111 All you guys, I noticed you were French. The opposite of "bonjour" to you. 415 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:55,991 You look so hot as a blond. 416 00:26:56,033 --> 00:26:58,994 It's not too streaky? I feel like he did it really streaky. 417 00:26:59,036 --> 00:27:02,289 I love it, but let me go undercover. This could get dangerous. 418 00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:06,460 He said he likes ladies in distress, not men who wear too much cologne. 419 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:08,962 - There he is. - Thanks for the tour. 420 00:27:09,046 --> 00:27:12,424 - You're welcome. - Hidden cameras on, ready? Molest me. 421 00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:15,344 - Molest me! - You got it! 422 00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:17,387 - God, help! - Give it to me. 423 00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:19,598 - Help, I'm being mugged! - All right! 424 00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:22,142 Help! Help! I'm being mugged! 425 00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:25,312 - Stop it! - Good luck. See you at the office. 426 00:27:27,105 --> 00:27:29,608 - Don't worry, I'll get him. - Oh, shit! 427 00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,693 Stop right there. 428 00:27:37,241 --> 00:27:38,534 Come on! 429 00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,331 What's your problem, pal? 430 00:27:51,797 --> 00:27:52,881 Come up here. 431 00:27:54,633 --> 00:27:57,553 Got your pocketbook. Get a job, pal. 432 00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:01,056 Miss! Miss! 433 00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:04,309 - Are you okay? - What happened? 434 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:05,727 Let me help you up. 435 00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:08,939 All right, now. All right. 436 00:28:14,820 --> 00:28:17,781 Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger. 437 00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:20,701 As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling. 438 00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:23,537 And also wore more cologne than any man should wear. 439 00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:26,165 - I got this back for you, though. - Thank you. 440 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:30,377 - Can I take you to the hospital? - No, no. 441 00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:35,799 I'll be all right. I just feel a little dizzy and violated. 442 00:28:36,633 --> 00:28:37,968 I'm fine. 443 00:28:40,971 --> 00:28:43,390 Please, let me take you to the emergency room. 444 00:28:44,808 --> 00:28:47,186 I'm sure I'll be all right. I just need to... 445 00:28:47,978 --> 00:28:49,730 ...perhaps walk it off or... 446 00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:51,732 - Could you? - Sure. 447 00:28:51,815 --> 00:28:52,858 Thank you. 448 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,402 Thank you so much. 449 00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:59,239 My name is Pam. Pam Dawson. 450 00:28:59,865 --> 00:29:04,119 My name is Deeds. I'm not from here. I'm just visiting. 451 00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:07,080 Where do you hail from? 452 00:29:07,706 --> 00:29:12,252 Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire. Just a little town nobody's ever heard of. 453 00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,671 I'm from a little town like that. 454 00:29:15,547 --> 00:29:18,509 - In Iowa. - Is that right? What part? 455 00:29:20,010 --> 00:29:23,138 Winchestertonfieldville. 456 00:29:25,057 --> 00:29:29,186 Yes, the small town of Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa. 457 00:29:32,105 --> 00:29:33,315 I'm sorry. 458 00:29:33,357 --> 00:29:36,485 - What are you doing in New York? - I'm a school nurse. 459 00:29:37,236 --> 00:29:41,198 - There's no way you're a school nurse. - Why, don't you believe me? 460 00:29:41,657 --> 00:29:43,784 You're too nice to be a school nurse. 461 00:29:44,284 --> 00:29:48,038 My school nurse was so mean, every time I'd tell her I had a tummy ache... 462 00:29:48,121 --> 00:29:51,083 ...she'd send me back to my class and say, "Stop whining." 463 00:29:51,166 --> 00:29:53,919 - But that's awful! - Well, I said it every day. 464 00:29:56,213 --> 00:29:57,589 I missed my mother. 465 00:29:59,216 --> 00:30:00,509 That's sweet. 466 00:30:01,260 --> 00:30:02,344 Miss Dawson? 467 00:30:03,095 --> 00:30:06,056 How would you like to maybe go out... 468 00:30:06,098 --> 00:30:08,475 ...and have a New York City dinner with me? 469 00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:10,185 Golly. 470 00:30:11,854 --> 00:30:13,647 That sounds wonderful. 471 00:30:13,856 --> 00:30:15,274 - It does? - Yeah. 472 00:30:15,732 --> 00:30:17,985 - Let's do it, then. - Okay. 473 00:30:19,361 --> 00:30:21,321 Damn you, Old Spice. 474 00:30:24,783 --> 00:30:28,537 So you run this pizza place and you have your poetry. 475 00:30:29,538 --> 00:30:31,415 What brings you to the big city? 476 00:30:31,498 --> 00:30:34,001 Actually, I just inherited $40 billion. 477 00:30:35,127 --> 00:30:39,339 Well, that's nice, but I think anything over $30 billion is just gravy. 478 00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:43,594 I like that. 479 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,598 Your hair is very blond and pretty. 480 00:30:47,681 --> 00:30:50,976 I'm of Swedish ancestry. 481 00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:53,312 - Really? - Yes. 482 00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:57,149 My grandfather was in ABBA. 483 00:30:58,609 --> 00:31:00,235 ABBA, the band? 484 00:31:00,903 --> 00:31:04,740 Excuse me, do you get any famous people in here? 485 00:31:04,781 --> 00:31:06,200 Famous, rich, powerful. 486 00:31:06,283 --> 00:31:09,119 Really? We don't get any famous people in Mandrake Falls. 487 00:31:09,203 --> 00:31:11,705 Stephen King stopped by our gas station one time... 488 00:31:11,788 --> 00:31:14,166 ...but everyone was too scared to talk to him. 489 00:31:14,249 --> 00:31:16,043 I'd imagine he'd be very spooky. 490 00:31:16,126 --> 00:31:19,505 Jake, the gas station attendant, made eye contact with him. 491 00:31:19,588 --> 00:31:21,548 That night he lost 200 pounds. 492 00:31:23,759 --> 00:31:24,718 Wow. 493 00:31:25,677 --> 00:31:27,888 Your chicken parmesan should be ready soon. 494 00:31:27,971 --> 00:31:32,184 Okay, buddy. I saw a couple over there. It's their anniversary. 495 00:31:32,809 --> 00:31:35,604 Give them this. Don't say it's from us, though. 496 00:31:36,355 --> 00:31:37,814 This is like $20,000. 497 00:31:37,898 --> 00:31:41,318 Tell them it was a restaurant giveaway or something. Thanks, buddy. 498 00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:46,448 That's an awfully nice way to start spending your money. 499 00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:48,492 - Is that who I think it is? - Who? 500 00:31:49,159 --> 00:31:51,995 Preston Blake's nephew, the $40-billion man. 501 00:31:52,913 --> 00:31:54,414 We have to meet him. Dave? 502 00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:58,085 Gosh, I hope that mugger got home okay. 503 00:31:58,460 --> 00:31:59,795 - Mr. Deeds. - Yeah. 504 00:31:59,878 --> 00:32:02,923 Mr. Simonds would like to invite you to join his party. 505 00:32:03,507 --> 00:32:04,466 Why is that? 506 00:32:05,050 --> 00:32:07,261 Just to enjoy the pleasure of your company. 507 00:32:07,344 --> 00:32:09,346 Wow, that's pretty cool of him. 508 00:32:13,725 --> 00:32:15,519 That was a very nice hug, Deeds. 509 00:32:15,978 --> 00:32:19,231 It's wicked nice of you to invite us over. This is awesome. 510 00:32:19,523 --> 00:32:22,609 - Have we met? - Not unless you have a sick kid. 511 00:32:23,026 --> 00:32:26,280 You're a very important man in this town now, Mr. Deeds. 512 00:32:26,363 --> 00:32:27,781 I don't know about that. 513 00:32:27,865 --> 00:32:29,658 I sing at the Metropolitan Opera... 514 00:32:29,741 --> 00:32:33,453 ...and Blake Media contributes 50 percent of our budget. 515 00:32:33,537 --> 00:32:35,455 So, on behalf of the opera: 516 00:32:35,539 --> 00:32:39,459 "Thank you" 517 00:32:42,629 --> 00:32:43,964 That was awesome! 518 00:32:44,381 --> 00:32:47,551 You shouldn't thank me, though. You should thank my great-uncle. 519 00:32:47,634 --> 00:32:49,011 He was an interesting man. 520 00:32:49,094 --> 00:32:51,346 I served on the board of the Guggenheim with him. 521 00:32:51,388 --> 00:32:54,349 Really? I'm not sure what that is, but good luck with it. 522 00:32:55,893 --> 00:32:58,687 I'd love to write a piece on you for "The New Yorker". 523 00:32:58,770 --> 00:33:00,355 What's "The New Yorker"? 524 00:33:01,273 --> 00:33:02,399 It's a magazine. 525 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,111 With essays, witty cartoons. 526 00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:10,782 I read the "Mandrake Falls Gazette" and they got some cartoons in there also. 527 00:33:10,866 --> 00:33:13,410 You know who's a riot? That Beetle Bailey guy. 528 00:33:13,535 --> 00:33:16,121 He's always wearing his hat and doing his thing. 529 00:33:16,747 --> 00:33:19,541 But it is an honor to meet a real writer like you, George. 530 00:33:19,583 --> 00:33:22,044 I've been trying to get my stuff published for years... 531 00:33:22,085 --> 00:33:24,546 ...but Hallmark is one tough cookie to crack. 532 00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:27,174 - Hallmark? - He writes greeting cards. 533 00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:31,053 - I try. - You must share one with us. 534 00:33:31,136 --> 00:33:34,723 - I don't know about that, Mr. French. - Who's Mr. French? 535 00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:38,101 - Doesn't he look like Mr. French? - I've never heard of him. 536 00:33:38,185 --> 00:33:39,144 Come on. 537 00:33:39,228 --> 00:33:40,854 All right, I'll give you one. 538 00:33:40,938 --> 00:33:43,565 This is a Mother's Day card I've been working on. 539 00:33:43,607 --> 00:33:47,736 "Mom, you are the one who brought me to planet Earth 540 00:33:48,612 --> 00:33:51,740 "You are the one who suffered through my 14-hour birth 541 00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:56,370 "You are the one who made lemonade for me after I'd come back from play 542 00:33:56,787 --> 00:34:00,916 "I love you, Mom, so have a wicked nice Mother's Day" 543 00:34:01,458 --> 00:34:02,835 Something like that. 544 00:34:03,627 --> 00:34:06,880 - An instant classic! - "Genius, genius, genius" 545 00:34:07,256 --> 00:34:09,258 Do you write your poems with a crayon? 546 00:34:13,637 --> 00:34:14,888 It's amazing! 547 00:34:16,223 --> 00:34:18,976 I see why you brought me here. To goof on me, huh? 548 00:34:19,601 --> 00:34:22,104 - Don't be silly, Deeds. - Pipe down, George. 549 00:34:22,813 --> 00:34:25,691 I may seem funny to you, but if you came to Mandrake Falls... 550 00:34:25,774 --> 00:34:28,819 ...you might seem funny to us. Only nobody would laugh at you... 551 00:34:28,902 --> 00:34:31,822 ...and make you feel stupid, that wouldn't be good manners. 552 00:34:31,905 --> 00:34:35,492 Maybe my poems aren't that great, but I know some people who like them. 553 00:34:35,659 --> 00:34:39,705 Anyways, it's the best I can do. We're going to get going. 554 00:34:39,788 --> 00:34:43,000 Sorry about that, Pam. I hope I didn't embarrass you. 555 00:34:48,005 --> 00:34:51,633 And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here, I'd knock your heads in. 556 00:34:51,717 --> 00:34:52,926 I don't mind. 557 00:34:53,218 --> 00:34:54,219 Okay. 558 00:34:57,890 --> 00:34:58,891 "No" 559 00:35:05,564 --> 00:35:09,484 I think I just shat myself. 560 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,738 How would you like to see the sights now? 561 00:35:12,821 --> 00:35:15,324 I just need to powder my nose. 562 00:35:15,407 --> 00:35:17,826 That would be great. I'll get your coat. 563 00:35:18,452 --> 00:35:22,247 Hey, buddy, this will pay for everything I damaged. Sorry about that. 564 00:35:22,331 --> 00:35:24,708 - Good to meet you guys. - Thank you. 565 00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:26,418 God, that was good stuff. 566 00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:31,465 I want a raise, Mac. 567 00:35:35,886 --> 00:35:37,721 Hey, man! What's up? 568 00:35:38,055 --> 00:35:40,432 Holy cannoli, you're John McEnroe! 569 00:35:40,516 --> 00:35:43,560 I saw what you did to those guys making fun of you. Nice work. 570 00:35:43,644 --> 00:35:46,605 You know what it's like to get riled up don't you, Johnny Mac? 571 00:35:46,688 --> 00:35:49,525 - That I do. - I'm Deeds, by the way. 572 00:35:49,566 --> 00:35:53,320 Deeds, nice to meet you. You got to let me buy you a drink. 573 00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:55,197 Miss Dawson, this is John McEnroe. 574 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,909 - Miss Dawson, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. 575 00:35:59,117 --> 00:36:01,662 I promised Miss Dawson I'd take her sightseeing. 576 00:36:01,745 --> 00:36:04,998 The sights are great. I've seen the sights. I love the sights. 577 00:36:05,082 --> 00:36:08,168 Let me show you a New York most people will never see. 578 00:36:08,627 --> 00:36:12,047 - That okay with you, Miss Dawson? - Sounds like fun! 579 00:36:12,089 --> 00:36:14,591 Here's to a big night on the town. 580 00:36:27,062 --> 00:36:28,730 What happened? 581 00:36:28,814 --> 00:36:33,068 Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller. 582 00:36:37,072 --> 00:36:40,242 - How did I get in these pajamas? - I changed you. 583 00:36:40,784 --> 00:36:42,452 I was very gentle, sir. 584 00:36:43,954 --> 00:36:47,249 I think I drank all the alcohol in Manhattan last night. 585 00:36:47,583 --> 00:36:50,127 And you nearly succeeded, according to Miss Dawson. 586 00:36:51,461 --> 00:36:55,340 Miss Dawson! I don't even remember taking her home. Is she okay? 587 00:36:55,424 --> 00:36:58,468 I took the liberty of sending her off in the company limousine. 588 00:36:58,552 --> 00:37:01,471 She was a lady in distress and I helped her. 589 00:37:02,097 --> 00:37:03,765 Dreamt about her last night. 590 00:37:04,308 --> 00:37:07,060 Usually, when you get blackout drunk you don't dream. 591 00:37:08,645 --> 00:37:09,688 So I read. 592 00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:15,611 What's up, Chuck? 593 00:37:19,156 --> 00:37:21,283 America's newest billionaire... 594 00:37:22,993 --> 00:37:25,078 ...stupid and drunk. - What's this? 595 00:37:25,162 --> 00:37:28,081 It was quite a night for Longfellow Deeds. 596 00:37:28,165 --> 00:37:30,751 They'll know my name is Longfellow. 597 00:37:31,210 --> 00:37:33,587 After punching out some society types... 598 00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:39,510 ...Deeds joined forces with the original bad boy of tennis, John McEnroe. 599 00:37:39,843 --> 00:37:42,304 And stupidity won in straight sets. 600 00:37:49,228 --> 00:37:50,979 How'd they get that footage? 601 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,106 Watch out, Johnny! 602 00:37:55,818 --> 00:37:58,987 What kind of driving is that? You're a fucking disgrace! 603 00:37:59,613 --> 00:38:01,615 No, sir. You're a disgrace. 604 00:38:01,698 --> 00:38:03,992 - We did it, man! - Johnny McEnroe! 605 00:38:04,076 --> 00:38:07,412 Look at Deedsy hanging out with McEnroe! That's awesome! 606 00:38:08,539 --> 00:38:10,040 I love the Beach Boys. 607 00:38:10,791 --> 00:38:12,918 Here I go, here I go. 608 00:38:15,671 --> 00:38:18,340 This is not the kind of attention we need right now. 609 00:38:18,549 --> 00:38:19,633 What do you mean? 610 00:38:19,716 --> 00:38:22,553 For the moment you're the largest stockholder... 611 00:38:22,636 --> 00:38:25,180 ...and people might think any instability you show... 612 00:38:25,264 --> 00:38:27,432 ...may equal instability in the company. 613 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:32,479 My bad. 614 00:38:34,565 --> 00:38:36,817 My bad. My bad. 615 00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:37,860 Okay. Okay. 616 00:38:37,943 --> 00:38:38,944 - My bad. - Okay. 617 00:38:39,069 --> 00:38:42,281 Shall I call your car, Mr. Cedar, to take you to the funeral? 618 00:38:42,364 --> 00:38:43,699 What funeral? 619 00:38:44,575 --> 00:38:46,243 Your great-uncle's funeral. 620 00:38:46,326 --> 00:38:48,287 - His funeral's today? - Today, yes. 621 00:38:48,662 --> 00:38:50,414 I'll go get my suit on. 622 00:38:57,921 --> 00:39:00,048 - Cute, bigmouth. - Sir? 623 00:39:00,507 --> 00:39:02,801 As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls... 624 00:39:02,885 --> 00:39:05,596 ...you are out of here on your fat Puerto Rican ass. 625 00:39:10,559 --> 00:39:12,269 I hail from Spain, sir. 626 00:39:18,442 --> 00:39:19,693 Olé. 627 00:39:21,111 --> 00:39:25,157 Now, Brother Preston is soaring with eagles high above. 628 00:39:26,450 --> 00:39:29,036 Because he lived a life of love. 629 00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:33,457 Yes, he's flying way up high... 630 00:39:34,458 --> 00:39:37,002 ...because he was a supercool guy. 631 00:39:38,337 --> 00:39:41,715 He's gone away, too soon, it seems... 632 00:39:42,341 --> 00:39:45,260 ...leaving behind his unfinished dreams. 633 00:39:45,636 --> 00:39:48,347 This guy could make a fortune writing greeting cards. 634 00:39:48,430 --> 00:39:51,266 Yes, we remember Preston Blake... 635 00:39:51,808 --> 00:39:54,603 ...a man with faith no man could shake. 636 00:39:55,479 --> 00:39:57,606 A strength no man could break. 637 00:39:58,148 --> 00:40:00,651 A character no man could fake. 638 00:40:01,485 --> 00:40:04,029 For goodness sake, let's eat some cake. 639 00:40:04,404 --> 00:40:05,864 Amen. 640 00:40:07,783 --> 00:40:10,744 Excuse me, Reverend, that was a grand slam. 641 00:40:10,828 --> 00:40:13,747 That part with soaring with the eagles gave me goosebumps. 642 00:40:13,831 --> 00:40:17,334 - Thank you, my brother. - My friend got me a mug for my birthday. 643 00:40:17,417 --> 00:40:21,255 It says, "It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys." 644 00:40:21,338 --> 00:40:23,048 But what you said was better. 645 00:40:23,465 --> 00:40:24,758 It's all good. 646 00:40:25,175 --> 00:40:29,054 Rest in peace, Preston. That concludes today's service. 647 00:40:30,597 --> 00:40:32,933 I actually thought I would say something. 648 00:40:34,685 --> 00:40:37,312 Deedsy was always the best speaker in school. 649 00:40:38,063 --> 00:40:38,939 Deedsy? 650 00:40:39,022 --> 00:40:41,149 That's some job, by the way, Your Majesty. 651 00:40:41,525 --> 00:40:43,485 I thought we were watching "Scooby-Doo". 652 00:40:44,361 --> 00:40:48,490 Hi, my name is Deeds. I was Preston Blake's great-nephew. 653 00:40:48,907 --> 00:40:52,244 I wrote a poem for him on my way over here, in my head. 654 00:40:52,578 --> 00:40:54,997 And I'm going to recite it for you. 655 00:40:55,706 --> 00:40:59,668 I didn't realize I'd be following the rhyme-master Reverend Sharpton. 656 00:41:00,127 --> 00:41:01,753 But here we go anyways. 657 00:41:02,379 --> 00:41:05,340 "You climbed mountains and built skyscrapers 658 00:41:06,550 --> 00:41:10,429 "You made TV shows and put out newspapers 659 00:41:12,097 --> 00:41:14,683 "You were wicked good at doing stocks 660 00:41:15,851 --> 00:41:18,312 "You liked it when Emilio would change your socks 661 00:41:19,980 --> 00:41:22,774 "We never hung out and that makes me sad 662 00:41:23,650 --> 00:41:25,986 "All the good times we could've had" 663 00:41:26,695 --> 00:41:28,113 Nice rhyme. 664 00:41:28,572 --> 00:41:32,034 "But when I die, Uncle Preston, you'd better say, 'Cheers! ' 665 00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:35,496 "'Cause me and you are hanging at the pearly gates 666 00:41:35,579 --> 00:41:39,500 "I'll bring the beers, I'll bring the beers" 667 00:41:40,209 --> 00:41:41,251 He's good. 668 00:41:41,793 --> 00:41:42,836 Amen. 669 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,548 I know this is supposed to be a closed casket, but where I come from... 670 00:41:46,632 --> 00:41:50,302 ...we feel it's good to see the body for the grieving process, so... 671 00:41:53,263 --> 00:41:56,266 Sorry about that! I'll keep this sucker closed. 672 00:42:01,063 --> 00:42:02,898 He's still pretty frozen. 673 00:42:03,524 --> 00:42:04,733 Almost there. 674 00:42:07,027 --> 00:42:09,446 I'll keep an eye on the company for you. Love you. 675 00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:11,740 Nice meeting you. Thanks for the apartment. 676 00:42:12,282 --> 00:42:13,450 That was freaky. 677 00:42:13,951 --> 00:42:15,536 Everybody drive home safe. 678 00:42:15,828 --> 00:42:17,913 Man, this guy is in way over his head. 679 00:42:17,996 --> 00:42:20,165 - Take care. - You'll see him tonight? 680 00:42:20,249 --> 00:42:23,585 Yes, I'm calling around 4:00. That's when I get off work. 681 00:42:23,794 --> 00:42:29,424 Remember, I'm Pam Dawson, virgin school nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa. 682 00:42:31,844 --> 00:42:33,053 That's priceless. 683 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:35,764 You, a virgin. 684 00:42:42,479 --> 00:42:44,982 - All right, thank you. - Excuse me, sir. 685 00:42:45,399 --> 00:42:47,818 - I told him he could have that. - Thanks. 686 00:42:47,901 --> 00:42:49,486 Right on. Nice seeing you. 687 00:42:49,778 --> 00:42:52,573 You need to use our bathroom, come back and use it, okay? 688 00:42:52,656 --> 00:42:54,616 - Will do! - All right. 689 00:42:56,076 --> 00:42:58,245 How do you think I did at the funeral today? 690 00:42:58,328 --> 00:42:59,830 You spoke beautifully, sir. 691 00:43:00,289 --> 00:43:01,415 I still feel bad. 692 00:43:01,498 --> 00:43:05,169 I snapped my uncle's hand off when I put him back in the casket. 693 00:43:05,669 --> 00:43:07,588 Lucky for him, he was dead, sir. 694 00:43:08,088 --> 00:43:10,507 Even though his face was frozen that way... 695 00:43:11,008 --> 00:43:13,844 ...it looked to me like he was a happy guy. Am I right? 696 00:43:14,344 --> 00:43:17,055 - He truly was. - Come on, sit down, please. 697 00:43:17,556 --> 00:43:21,018 And I got to hang out with him, just like this... 698 00:43:21,518 --> 00:43:23,645 ...almost every day for 30 years. 699 00:43:24,188 --> 00:43:25,898 What did you guys talk about? 700 00:43:25,981 --> 00:43:30,152 We spoke of life, love, art, wine, business. 701 00:43:30,527 --> 00:43:32,237 I learned much from him. 702 00:43:32,529 --> 00:43:34,490 - I bet you miss him, too. - I do. 703 00:43:34,865 --> 00:43:36,825 He was like a parent to me. 704 00:43:37,534 --> 00:43:40,662 You see, I never knew my father, and Mama... 705 00:43:41,205 --> 00:43:43,707 ...she passed while giving the birth to me. 706 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,213 - You want some Cocoa Pebbles? - No, thanks. 707 00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:53,425 I have much work to do. 708 00:43:53,717 --> 00:43:57,012 - Thanks. You don't have to do that. - Enjoy your Pebbles. 709 00:43:58,388 --> 00:43:59,848 One more thing. 710 00:44:00,432 --> 00:44:03,852 Your great-uncle did not let me change his socks for him, either. 711 00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:06,271 I like feet. 712 00:44:07,231 --> 00:44:08,440 I do not know why. 713 00:44:17,074 --> 00:44:17,950 Hello. 714 00:44:18,033 --> 00:44:20,702 Hi, Deeds? It's Pam. Pam Dawson. 715 00:44:20,911 --> 00:44:24,957 I'm so happy you called. I'm wicked sorry about last night. 716 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:26,416 I don't drink very often. 717 00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:29,586 I thought you held your liquor very well. 718 00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:32,005 Unfortunately, I couldn't hold it for too long. 719 00:44:32,172 --> 00:44:35,759 That's okay. I didn't really like that skirt anyway. 720 00:44:37,094 --> 00:44:40,514 I'm getting a call on the other line. Can you hang on for a second? 721 00:44:40,597 --> 00:44:42,266 - Sure. - Thank you. 722 00:44:42,933 --> 00:44:43,767 Hello. 723 00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:46,937 Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward, the quarterback you punched. 724 00:44:47,437 --> 00:44:48,689 What's up, buddy? 725 00:44:49,022 --> 00:44:53,944 I wanted to say that I was thinking it over and I'd like to live up to my word. 726 00:44:54,236 --> 00:44:56,029 And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl. 727 00:44:56,113 --> 00:44:58,740 - That's terrific, pal. - And my daddy wants to speak to you. 728 00:45:00,159 --> 00:45:02,244 Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy. 729 00:45:02,578 --> 00:45:03,662 How you doing, Mr. Ward? 730 00:45:03,912 --> 00:45:06,290 I just want to thank you for teaching my boy a lesson. 731 00:45:06,373 --> 00:45:10,252 He's a good kid. He just has to watch his language in front of ladies. 732 00:45:13,463 --> 00:45:15,048 I'll remind Kevin where he comes from. 733 00:45:15,674 --> 00:45:16,925 That sounds terrific. 734 00:45:17,217 --> 00:45:20,345 You used foul language in front of a lady? 735 00:45:21,138 --> 00:45:22,139 No, Daddy, no! 736 00:45:26,476 --> 00:45:27,227 Pam. 737 00:45:27,686 --> 00:45:28,604 Still here. 738 00:45:28,979 --> 00:45:30,230 How's it going? You at work? 739 00:45:30,647 --> 00:45:33,817 - Yep, here in the nurse's office. - Any customers? 740 00:45:34,651 --> 00:45:36,778 Customers? Oh, sick kids. 741 00:45:37,738 --> 00:45:41,074 Well, little Billy Barty's here. 742 00:45:41,909 --> 00:45:46,914 - You're not feeling too good, Billy? - Miss Dawson, my tummy hurts. 743 00:45:47,206 --> 00:45:49,666 Why don't you just lay back and relax? 744 00:45:50,334 --> 00:45:51,793 That was nice. Good job. 745 00:45:52,002 --> 00:45:55,714 I've got too much doo-doo in my underpants. 746 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,134 Make the stinky go away. 747 00:45:59,510 --> 00:46:02,346 Well, you sound like you got your hands full, so... 748 00:46:02,554 --> 00:46:04,306 ...l'll just come out with it. 749 00:46:04,848 --> 00:46:07,309 How would you like to do something with me tonight? 750 00:46:08,185 --> 00:46:09,978 I'd love to do something with you. 751 00:46:10,187 --> 00:46:11,104 Great. 752 00:46:11,313 --> 00:46:13,982 We can't go out drinking. I got our company in trouble. 753 00:46:14,024 --> 00:46:17,653 That's okay. I was brought up never to drink alcohol. 754 00:46:18,362 --> 00:46:20,364 Not even rum raisin ice cream. 755 00:46:20,614 --> 00:46:22,950 I like that. I'll think of something good. 756 00:46:23,826 --> 00:46:24,660 See you tonight. 757 00:46:24,910 --> 00:46:25,911 Okay. 'Bye. 758 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,583 I got to try this. 759 00:46:44,471 --> 00:46:45,806 Was that awesome? 760 00:46:47,558 --> 00:46:49,184 Am I out or safe? 761 00:46:51,019 --> 00:46:52,479 I'm with you. 762 00:46:54,398 --> 00:46:58,068 What is this? My great-uncle's personal journal. 763 00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:02,072 - Should I read it? - Family. 764 00:47:03,824 --> 00:47:05,617 Family, safe, good. 765 00:47:06,034 --> 00:47:09,705 All right, have a good night. My back hurts! 766 00:47:14,543 --> 00:47:16,920 - Nice doing business with you. - Thank you. 767 00:47:17,004 --> 00:47:18,547 Thanks for the bikes. 768 00:47:18,630 --> 00:47:21,133 What are you gonna do with your $20,000? 769 00:47:21,216 --> 00:47:24,052 Buy a giraffe. What are you gonna do with your $20,000? 770 00:47:24,094 --> 00:47:25,554 Quit school. 771 00:47:25,637 --> 00:47:29,808 Good idea, school is for fools. Look at me! 772 00:47:55,250 --> 00:47:57,127 The park is beautiful. 773 00:47:58,045 --> 00:48:01,632 These trees, they remind you of Winchestertonfieldville at all? 774 00:48:02,758 --> 00:48:05,093 Oh, yes. Very much so. 775 00:48:05,761 --> 00:48:07,888 What was it like growing up there? 776 00:48:08,013 --> 00:48:09,139 It was great. 777 00:48:09,973 --> 00:48:13,769 I remember walking down to the corner drugstore... 778 00:48:13,810 --> 00:48:16,104 ...and getting malted milkshakes. 779 00:48:17,231 --> 00:48:19,024 What was your house like? 780 00:48:19,483 --> 00:48:21,777 We had this big Victorian. 781 00:48:22,486 --> 00:48:24,196 Right off Main Street. 782 00:48:25,405 --> 00:48:29,159 - Blue shutters and a big red door. - All right. 783 00:48:29,701 --> 00:48:33,622 - And a tire swing in the front yard. - I love it. 784 00:48:34,081 --> 00:48:38,627 And I remember the time I fell out of old Boo Radley's apple tree... 785 00:48:38,752 --> 00:48:40,128 ...and broke my arm. 786 00:48:40,838 --> 00:48:45,217 And my father, before he passed away... 787 00:48:45,676 --> 00:48:47,928 ...from the disease of the lepers... 788 00:48:48,011 --> 00:48:52,307 ...he came and he scooped me up and he ran me all the way to Dr. Pepper's. 789 00:48:53,976 --> 00:48:55,143 Dr. Pepper. 790 00:48:55,978 --> 00:48:56,937 Yeah. 791 00:48:57,229 --> 00:48:58,981 I'm glad that guy was around. 792 00:48:59,982 --> 00:49:02,151 - Want to sit down? - Sure. 793 00:49:04,194 --> 00:49:05,654 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 794 00:49:06,405 --> 00:49:09,867 I was reading my great-uncle's journal on my way over to you. 795 00:49:09,950 --> 00:49:12,202 And, when he was age 9... 796 00:49:12,286 --> 00:49:16,039 ...he wrote that he had the only family on the block with a radio... 797 00:49:16,123 --> 00:49:19,042 ...and he was dreaming of becoming a disc jockey someday. 798 00:49:19,126 --> 00:49:21,461 A disc jockey? 799 00:49:23,755 --> 00:49:27,009 You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a news reporter. 800 00:49:28,093 --> 00:49:30,846 I used to go around interviewing everyone... 801 00:49:30,888 --> 00:49:33,724 ...and writing notes in my little Holly Hobby notebook. 802 00:49:35,893 --> 00:49:39,146 People didn't like that. I got beat up a lot. 803 00:49:39,313 --> 00:49:43,275 - Do you remember their names? - No, it was a long time ago. 804 00:49:44,401 --> 00:49:46,195 But my grandma said to me: 805 00:49:46,570 --> 00:49:49,781 "One day you'll grow up and work for 60 Minutes"... 806 00:49:49,865 --> 00:49:51,950 "...and make a difference in the world." 807 00:49:52,868 --> 00:49:56,413 You do make a difference in the world, every day. You're a school nurse. 808 00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:02,211 Anyways, this is what happened to my uncle. 809 00:50:02,294 --> 00:50:06,507 Later on in his life, he'd go to this radio station that he owned... 810 00:50:06,590 --> 00:50:09,510 ...at 3:00 in the morning and DJ for an hour. 811 00:50:09,593 --> 00:50:10,844 That's great. 812 00:50:11,845 --> 00:50:15,015 So, don't give up hope. You'll be a reporter someday. 813 00:50:15,599 --> 00:50:17,184 If you really want to. 814 00:50:18,644 --> 00:50:20,229 That would be nice. 815 00:50:23,357 --> 00:50:25,484 - Jeesum Crow, a fire! - A fire? 816 00:50:25,984 --> 00:50:27,861 - We should help. - We should? 817 00:50:27,945 --> 00:50:29,863 - Let's get going. - To the fire? 818 00:50:30,489 --> 00:50:34,159 - Fifi, get over here right now. - Come on, we'll catch you. 819 00:50:34,493 --> 00:50:37,746 Go away! I can't leave without my kitties. They're all I got. 820 00:50:39,122 --> 00:50:39,998 Crazy lady! 821 00:50:40,082 --> 00:50:43,085 - Oh, babies, where are you? - Up there now, get going! 822 00:50:43,418 --> 00:50:48,090 Longfellow Deeds, Mandrake Falls volunteer fire chief. I'll be up there in a jiff. 823 00:50:48,131 --> 00:50:50,801 - He's crazy. - He's going up there right now, though. 824 00:50:51,301 --> 00:50:53,387 - Look at him. - Where's he going? 825 00:50:54,471 --> 00:50:55,639 Watch it, man! 826 00:50:55,973 --> 00:50:58,475 - Sully, who's that guy up there? - I don't know. 827 00:50:58,559 --> 00:51:01,186 He says he's from the Mandrake Falls Fire Department. 828 00:51:02,479 --> 00:51:06,024 - How's he climb like that? - He must have monkey blood in him. 829 00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:08,777 It's an honor to work with New York's bravest guys. 830 00:51:08,861 --> 00:51:10,237 Be careful! 831 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,699 - I'll get you. - Babies, where are you? 832 00:51:13,824 --> 00:51:16,034 - Ma'am! - Lord, it's hot in here. 833 00:51:16,243 --> 00:51:19,621 - Kitties, come to Mommy. - Calm down. Everything will be all right. 834 00:51:19,663 --> 00:51:21,957 Okay, but I'm not leaving without my kitties. 835 00:51:21,999 --> 00:51:23,584 - How many do you got? - Seven. 836 00:51:23,876 --> 00:51:25,919 Holy shit! Let's get cracking. 837 00:51:27,671 --> 00:51:30,215 - I apologize for the language. - Apology accepted. 838 00:51:35,220 --> 00:51:37,890 - Fire excites me. - Knock yourself out. 839 00:51:39,850 --> 00:51:42,102 - Come here. - That's Freddy. 840 00:51:42,936 --> 00:51:45,939 - Here we go! - Oh, my children! 841 00:51:52,070 --> 00:51:54,948 - Nice catch, Pam! - Good throw, Deeds! 842 00:52:06,126 --> 00:52:09,630 - That's Frobo. Thank you, darling. - Coming at you, boys. 843 00:52:13,550 --> 00:52:14,885 I'll take that. 844 00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,971 - There's a lot more. - Okay, okay. 845 00:52:30,192 --> 00:52:31,902 Holy shit, it's a cat! 846 00:52:35,656 --> 00:52:37,825 Full snap. I got you, kitty. 847 00:52:40,410 --> 00:52:41,703 Nice grab! 848 00:52:43,205 --> 00:52:44,373 One more to go. 849 00:52:44,915 --> 00:52:47,042 Fifi, where are you? 850 00:52:48,293 --> 00:52:51,296 - I think I found Fifi. - Oh, good! 851 00:52:52,172 --> 00:52:54,049 Hang in there, buddy! 852 00:52:55,551 --> 00:52:56,760 I got it! 853 00:53:04,518 --> 00:53:06,395 Okay, let's do this together. 854 00:53:07,688 --> 00:53:09,189 Be careful! 855 00:53:09,273 --> 00:53:11,692 All right, they do it all the time. Here we go. 856 00:53:15,362 --> 00:53:16,446 Oh, shit! 857 00:53:19,992 --> 00:53:20,993 Deeds. 858 00:53:21,535 --> 00:53:22,870 I'm okay. 859 00:53:23,412 --> 00:53:24,538 Are you okay? 860 00:53:25,831 --> 00:53:28,167 Yes, I am. Thanks to you! 861 00:53:30,586 --> 00:53:31,920 You're hurting me! 862 00:53:36,175 --> 00:53:38,385 Longfellow Deeds is at it again. 863 00:53:39,052 --> 00:53:41,180 His latest victim, Coretta Keeling... 864 00:53:41,263 --> 00:53:44,057 ...whose only crime was loving her cats too much. 865 00:53:44,141 --> 00:53:46,393 And letting Deeds find out about it. 866 00:53:46,685 --> 00:53:49,021 - I'll get youl - Go awayl 867 00:53:49,813 --> 00:53:51,815 - I love it. - Here comes twol 868 00:53:54,651 --> 00:53:57,946 - Cat killerl - After he finished with her cats... 869 00:53:57,988 --> 00:54:00,741 "...he turned his sights on Miss Keeling herself." 870 00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:04,369 My God! 871 00:54:04,953 --> 00:54:06,288 That's not what I shot. 872 00:54:06,330 --> 00:54:08,916 Has Longfellow Deeds been locked up? Of course not. 873 00:54:09,166 --> 00:54:13,295 While the rest of us obey the law, rich playboys like himself get to laugh at it. 874 00:54:15,255 --> 00:54:18,675 Longfellow Deeds. Our jackass of the week. 875 00:54:19,593 --> 00:54:21,887 What the hell? Who edited that? 876 00:54:22,221 --> 00:54:26,558 I did. Your first cut was great, but I needed to spice it up a bit. 877 00:54:26,850 --> 00:54:28,811 The truth was a great story. 878 00:54:29,186 --> 00:54:32,147 He saved that woman and her seven cats. 879 00:54:32,481 --> 00:54:35,150 - He was heroic! - Heroic is nice. 880 00:54:35,442 --> 00:54:37,820 - Depraved and insane is better. - Hell, yeah! 881 00:54:38,070 --> 00:54:41,865 This footage you're getting, gorgeous. Keep it coming! 882 00:54:42,991 --> 00:54:45,494 God, how can we do this to such a sweet guy? 883 00:54:45,577 --> 00:54:47,621 Sweet? Sweet? 884 00:54:48,372 --> 00:54:49,832 Look at me! 885 00:54:49,873 --> 00:54:53,252 Was he sweet when he gave me the most savage beating of my life? 886 00:54:53,544 --> 00:54:55,838 - You were mugging me! - Babe! 887 00:54:56,672 --> 00:54:59,967 No one is as good as this guy's pretending to be. 888 00:55:00,592 --> 00:55:02,094 Don't be a sucker. 889 00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:04,304 He doesn't deserve this. 890 00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:08,308 He doesn't deserve you. 891 00:55:09,935 --> 00:55:11,228 My neck! 892 00:55:15,899 --> 00:55:20,112 I feel like an idiot. They made me look like a fool, Jan. 893 00:55:20,779 --> 00:55:23,824 I was thinking of going down to that 'Inside Access' place... 894 00:55:24,283 --> 00:55:27,244 ...and giving Mac McGrath the beating of a lifetime. 895 00:55:27,661 --> 00:55:30,956 That sounds like fun, but don't stoop to their level. 896 00:55:31,456 --> 00:55:33,292 You're better than that, Deedsy. 897 00:55:33,709 --> 00:55:37,212 So hang in there. And know that we are always here for you. 898 00:55:39,256 --> 00:55:42,634 Thanks, Jan. My uncle really built an amazing company. 899 00:55:43,218 --> 00:55:46,430 Because of him, 50,000 people have jobs. 900 00:55:46,972 --> 00:55:49,474 And he always tried to do the right thing. 901 00:55:50,559 --> 00:55:52,811 Well, he does sound amazing. 902 00:55:53,353 --> 00:55:56,565 But don't forget, he was related to you. 903 00:55:57,024 --> 00:56:01,361 Enough about that. Tell me more about this girl. 904 00:56:02,613 --> 00:56:06,241 She's nice, a small-town kid, like me. 905 00:56:07,117 --> 00:56:10,037 Deedsy, you sick-ass mo' fo'... 906 00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,582 You got to tap that before she starts boning other guys, kid. 907 00:56:14,208 --> 00:56:15,209 Boo-Yahl 908 00:56:17,294 --> 00:56:20,672 He thinks it's you! He thinks it's you! 909 00:56:22,299 --> 00:56:26,428 - Let's go, Cedar. Put some steam on it, kid. - Here it comes. 910 00:56:28,972 --> 00:56:31,725 He's trying to kill me. You're good at this. 911 00:56:31,808 --> 00:56:35,062 When you asked me to play, I thought you'd done this before. 912 00:56:35,145 --> 00:56:37,856 No, Johnny McEnroe said it was wicked easy. 913 00:56:38,106 --> 00:56:40,317 Plus, it was my uncle's favorite game, right? 914 00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:43,028 - How'd you know that? - I read it in his diary. 915 00:56:43,987 --> 00:56:44,947 Really? 916 00:56:45,989 --> 00:56:47,783 I didn't know he kept a diary. 917 00:56:52,162 --> 00:56:53,622 Sorry about that, dude. 918 00:56:53,997 --> 00:56:56,083 It's okay. He's a new member. 919 00:56:56,875 --> 00:56:57,960 Ball boy. 920 00:56:59,086 --> 00:57:00,045 Ball boy! 921 00:57:02,464 --> 00:57:04,424 All right, baby, I'm ready for you. 922 00:57:09,096 --> 00:57:10,264 You okay? 923 00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:13,308 - Not a problem. - Anderson, you liked that, didn't you? 924 00:57:13,350 --> 00:57:14,518 I did. 925 00:57:14,726 --> 00:57:17,146 Listen, Deeds, I got some good news. 926 00:57:17,187 --> 00:57:19,398 Those papers will be ready to sign tomorrow. 927 00:57:19,481 --> 00:57:22,734 So you can relax knowing your uncle's company'll be in good hands... 928 00:57:22,818 --> 00:57:25,195 ...and you can go home $40 billion richer. 929 00:57:25,279 --> 00:57:27,865 I was thinking about maybe sticking around here... 930 00:57:27,948 --> 00:57:30,367 ...and going to some meetings with you. - What? 931 00:57:32,828 --> 00:57:33,996 Fault! 932 00:57:34,079 --> 00:57:36,790 I figured I could learn, like this tennis thing. 933 00:57:40,460 --> 00:57:43,088 I swear to God, I'm not trying to do that. 934 00:57:44,590 --> 00:57:46,925 I don't got to sell my shares right away, do I? 935 00:57:47,885 --> 00:57:51,513 Plus, I met this girl, Cedar. I swear to God, I think she's the one. 936 00:57:52,931 --> 00:57:54,600 That's wonderful for you. 937 00:57:57,644 --> 00:57:59,646 That got you right in the throat, huh? 938 00:58:01,190 --> 00:58:04,526 Got to ask you, though, if it hits you, is it my point or yours? 939 00:58:04,568 --> 00:58:06,904 - Yours. - I'm winning then, I guess. 940 00:58:12,868 --> 00:58:16,079 "Deeds info, meet in shower"? 941 00:58:21,376 --> 00:58:22,753 Sweet Jesus! 942 00:58:23,462 --> 00:58:26,798 Who are you? And what do you want to tell me? 943 00:58:27,341 --> 00:58:29,718 I'm a junior producer at 'Inside Access'. 944 00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:34,264 I have information that will help you get Deeds out of town. Interested? 945 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:39,228 Very. Provided the information is good and you stop soaping your ass. 946 00:58:43,273 --> 00:58:45,943 - You know Deeds' girlfriend? - The school nurse. 947 00:58:46,610 --> 00:58:47,945 Not quite. 948 00:58:50,239 --> 00:58:53,450 Lucy, bring me the overnights. J.D. will tell you where they are. 949 00:58:54,076 --> 00:58:56,411 Hey. What the hell are you doing in my chair? 950 00:58:57,371 --> 00:58:58,455 Chuck Cedar. 951 00:58:59,248 --> 00:59:01,667 I think you and I could help each other out. 952 00:59:06,088 --> 00:59:09,383 - You excited about this trip? - I'm so excited. 953 00:59:10,092 --> 00:59:13,178 - Where are you taking me? - I told you, that's a surprise. 954 00:59:20,185 --> 00:59:21,228 Well? 955 00:59:23,272 --> 00:59:25,941 "Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa." 956 00:59:26,942 --> 00:59:28,735 You got to be shitting me. 957 00:59:29,361 --> 00:59:31,196 I never heard you curse before. 958 00:59:31,446 --> 00:59:32,990 I'm that excited! 959 00:59:36,827 --> 00:59:41,456 All you Winchestertonfieldvillians, recognize this little girl? 960 00:59:44,251 --> 00:59:47,462 I'll give you a hint. "I fell out of Boo Radley's apple tree... 961 00:59:47,546 --> 00:59:49,464 "...and my arm is killing me!" 962 00:59:53,635 --> 00:59:55,596 Come on, it's little Pammy Dawson! 963 00:59:57,806 --> 00:59:58,807 Hello. 964 00:59:59,725 --> 01:00:01,477 You related to Bill Dawson? 965 01:00:01,852 --> 01:00:04,646 Yes, he's my relative. 966 01:00:05,439 --> 01:00:06,815 I think I remember you. 967 01:00:07,858 --> 01:00:10,360 Did you used to have a hump on your back? 968 01:00:11,278 --> 01:00:15,282 - Yes, that was me. I had a slight hump. - Really? 969 01:00:15,365 --> 01:00:16,992 This was no slight hump. 970 01:00:17,284 --> 01:00:21,079 The girl I'm thinking of looked like she had a damn beach ball on her back. 971 01:00:21,872 --> 01:00:25,584 Okay, it was a huge hump and I'm a little sensitive about it. 972 01:00:25,792 --> 01:00:28,921 Look, Martha, it's Quasimodo, all growed up. 973 01:00:29,213 --> 01:00:32,341 How wonderful! I thought you died. 974 01:00:33,592 --> 01:00:35,552 She actually became a school nurse. 975 01:00:35,928 --> 01:00:37,471 - You're a nurse? - Yes. 976 01:00:37,763 --> 01:00:39,348 What should I do about this? 977 01:00:46,855 --> 01:00:49,191 - I would call Dr. Pepper. - Who? 978 01:00:49,566 --> 01:00:53,654 It was so great seeing everybody again. We're going to leave now. 979 01:00:54,029 --> 01:00:54,863 'Bye. 980 01:00:56,657 --> 01:00:58,033 - Hi, mailman. - 'Morning. 981 01:00:58,075 --> 01:00:59,409 How you doing? 982 01:01:02,955 --> 01:01:04,540 Oh, my God, there it is. 983 01:01:04,873 --> 01:01:09,127 Blue shutters, red door, tire swing. That's your house, isn't it? 984 01:01:10,546 --> 01:01:11,839 Wouldn't you know it? 985 01:01:12,673 --> 01:01:13,841 Come on. 986 01:01:16,218 --> 01:01:19,054 How you guys doing? You know who she is? 987 01:01:20,430 --> 01:01:23,517 She used to live in this house when she was a little girl. 988 01:01:23,559 --> 01:01:24,560 It's true. 989 01:01:24,643 --> 01:01:27,896 You live here and she used to live here. You're practically cousins. 990 01:01:30,983 --> 01:01:32,734 So many memories. 991 01:01:34,570 --> 01:01:35,904 Where to begin? 992 01:01:36,738 --> 01:01:39,199 This is our fireplace... 993 01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:42,244 ...where my dad would build fires... 994 01:01:43,036 --> 01:01:44,079 ...out of wood. 995 01:01:44,163 --> 01:01:47,916 And this is the dining room, where we would have our meals... 996 01:01:47,958 --> 01:01:49,168 ...made of food. 997 01:01:49,751 --> 01:01:52,129 And this was my brother's room. 998 01:01:53,005 --> 01:01:54,923 My parents hated my brother. 999 01:01:55,132 --> 01:01:58,719 My daddy built this house with his bare hands six years ago. 1000 01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:01,346 Your daddy is a liar. 1001 01:02:02,347 --> 01:02:03,682 How come you... 1002 01:02:06,935 --> 01:02:09,771 He's choking. We should go. 1003 01:02:09,855 --> 01:02:11,773 - Help. - What are you talking about? 1004 01:02:11,857 --> 01:02:14,026 - You're the nurse, help him. - Save him! 1005 01:02:14,359 --> 01:02:16,737 - Stand back, kids. - He's gonna die! 1006 01:02:17,321 --> 01:02:19,490 - Take him to the hospital! - Smack it out! 1007 01:02:19,990 --> 01:02:22,326 - Save him! - Get it out of him! 1008 01:02:22,701 --> 01:02:23,911 Save him, please! 1009 01:02:29,583 --> 01:02:31,877 - That was amazing. - Thank you. 1010 01:02:32,544 --> 01:02:33,962 I saved his life. 1011 01:02:34,922 --> 01:02:36,840 You're my hero, Nurse Dawson. 1012 01:02:42,012 --> 01:02:43,305 Thank you, thank you. 1013 01:02:44,848 --> 01:02:47,059 - Good parking job, buddy. - Thanks, Deeds. 1014 01:02:47,684 --> 01:02:47,726 Testing, testing. 1015 01:02:47,726 --> 01:02:49,228 Testing, testing. 1016 01:02:49,645 --> 01:02:51,730 I had such a wonderful time. 1017 01:02:52,064 --> 01:02:54,525 Thank you for such a great day. 1018 01:02:56,193 --> 01:03:00,030 - Thanks for showing me your town. - I hope sometime to see your hometown. 1019 01:03:00,864 --> 01:03:03,408 Maybe someday this will be my new hometown. 1020 01:03:04,660 --> 01:03:05,661 Deeds. 1021 01:03:06,620 --> 01:03:09,623 - There's something I have to tell you. - What's the matter? 1022 01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:12,835 What? 1023 01:03:14,211 --> 01:03:17,506 Go back to New Hampshire and enjoy being rich. 1024 01:03:18,215 --> 01:03:19,341 Just... 1025 01:03:19,925 --> 01:03:22,553 ...don't let anyone hurt you anymore, okay? 1026 01:03:24,137 --> 01:03:25,305 Sucker. 1027 01:03:28,267 --> 01:03:29,268 Pam. 1028 01:03:31,395 --> 01:03:32,980 I made a card for you. 1029 01:03:33,689 --> 01:03:35,023 It's kind of dumb. 1030 01:03:35,107 --> 01:03:38,944 I never worked on anything harder, though, so don't laugh at me. 1031 01:03:40,696 --> 01:03:43,448 Remember we went to the restaurant that first night... 1032 01:03:43,532 --> 01:03:45,450 ...and you ordered chicken parmesan? 1033 01:03:45,534 --> 01:03:47,202 So I drew you a plate. 1034 01:03:47,953 --> 01:03:50,497 There's the chicken and the cheese... 1035 01:03:51,123 --> 01:03:54,418 ...and the linguini. That took me a long time with the squigglies. 1036 01:03:56,003 --> 01:03:57,171 It's beautiful. 1037 01:03:57,588 --> 01:03:59,673 There's a poem inside for you. 1038 01:04:04,428 --> 01:04:07,181 "Hard to breathe, feels like floating 1039 01:04:08,182 --> 01:04:11,226 "So full of love my heart's exploding 1040 01:04:13,437 --> 01:04:15,731 "Mouth is dry, hands are shaking 1041 01:04:17,107 --> 01:04:19,151 "My heart is yours for the taking 1042 01:04:21,153 --> 01:04:23,697 "Acting weird, not myself 1043 01:04:25,741 --> 01:04:28,994 "Dancing around like the Keebler elf" 1044 01:04:29,745 --> 01:04:31,079 That was funny. 1045 01:04:33,123 --> 01:04:35,918 "Finally time for this poor schlub 1046 01:04:36,627 --> 01:04:39,421 "to know how it feels to fall in lub" 1047 01:04:40,631 --> 01:04:43,800 I couldn't think of anything else that rhymes with "schlub." 1048 01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,636 "Rub" and "tub" didn't work. 1049 01:04:55,562 --> 01:04:57,064 I'm sorry, Deeds. 1050 01:04:59,483 --> 01:05:03,862 - I'm really sorry. - Don't be sorry, that was unbelievable. 1051 01:05:07,991 --> 01:05:11,537 Hi, Mrs. Finch... Atticus. 1052 01:05:12,955 --> 01:05:14,289 Sleep well. 1053 01:05:18,502 --> 01:05:21,296 - Al, I'm gonna walk home. - Okay, Deeds. 1054 01:05:31,140 --> 01:05:33,100 I love New York! 1055 01:05:33,517 --> 01:05:35,018 Nobody cares! 1056 01:05:42,693 --> 01:05:44,153 I'm in love with him. 1057 01:05:45,487 --> 01:05:48,323 I'm going to see him tonight and tell him everything. 1058 01:05:50,492 --> 01:05:53,829 - He'll probably punch you in the face. - I kind of hope he does. 1059 01:05:53,871 --> 01:05:56,248 Come on, Babe, snap out of it. 1060 01:05:56,331 --> 01:05:59,793 You really want to throw all this away for a dipshit like that? 1061 01:05:59,835 --> 01:06:04,381 He's not a dipshit. He's a goodhearted guy who we think is a weirdo... 1062 01:06:04,464 --> 01:06:08,302 ...because he doesn't share our sense of ironic detachment. 1063 01:06:08,719 --> 01:06:12,556 - All this hip, snide, smart-alecky... - Bullshit? 1064 01:06:12,639 --> 01:06:14,099 Yes, bullshit. 1065 01:06:14,725 --> 01:06:19,021 Well, in a few moments, I'll put on my Versace overcoat... 1066 01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:22,816 ...get into my Mercedes, drive to my Fifth Avenue apartment... 1067 01:06:22,858 --> 01:06:26,153 ...and squeeze my girlfriend's big, fake boobs. 1068 01:06:26,820 --> 01:06:30,657 And that bullshit you're talking about paid for all of it. 1069 01:06:31,325 --> 01:06:34,369 Good for you, Mac. But I'm still telling him. 1070 01:06:34,828 --> 01:06:35,787 Well... 1071 01:06:37,581 --> 01:06:39,500 Babe Bennett falls in love. 1072 01:06:40,959 --> 01:06:43,462 I'm happy for you. I am. 1073 01:06:44,755 --> 01:06:46,215 Gonna miss you, Babe. 1074 01:06:47,174 --> 01:06:48,509 Something fierce. 1075 01:07:17,788 --> 01:07:19,498 You think she'll like this? 1076 01:07:20,123 --> 01:07:21,083 All right. 1077 01:07:21,375 --> 01:07:24,628 Chicken parmesan? Terrific, thank you. 1078 01:07:25,379 --> 01:07:26,630 Let's hear it. 1079 01:07:29,925 --> 01:07:32,553 - She gonna like that, Mr. Deeds. - Okay. 1080 01:07:33,512 --> 01:07:35,764 - Emilio, it looks beautiful. - Thank you. 1081 01:07:39,852 --> 01:07:42,980 These roses might be a little too high. I won't be able to see her. 1082 01:07:43,063 --> 01:07:45,232 - Do we have anything smaller? - Yes, sir. 1083 01:07:45,274 --> 01:07:46,275 Okay. 1084 01:07:47,192 --> 01:07:48,193 Byron? 1085 01:07:48,944 --> 01:07:50,070 That's terrific. 1086 01:07:50,821 --> 01:07:53,407 - Would you mind sitting for a second? - Yes, sir. 1087 01:07:55,951 --> 01:07:58,162 Say something to me. Pretend you're her. 1088 01:07:58,245 --> 01:08:00,247 - Me, sir? - Please. 1089 01:08:01,206 --> 01:08:02,207 Well... 1090 01:08:03,458 --> 01:08:07,129 ...it's nice of you to have invited me to dine with you this evening. 1091 01:08:07,337 --> 01:08:08,839 It's my pleasure. 1092 01:08:08,964 --> 01:08:11,592 Actually, you're too tall. Can you slink down? 1093 01:08:13,635 --> 01:08:15,304 - Like this? - That's good. 1094 01:08:16,096 --> 01:08:19,558 This is one of the best dates I've ever been on. 1095 01:08:20,601 --> 01:08:22,603 You make me feel very special. 1096 01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:25,481 You make me feel very special, too. 1097 01:08:26,315 --> 01:08:28,066 That's why I got this for you. 1098 01:08:29,151 --> 01:08:30,652 Okay, lean forward. 1099 01:08:35,616 --> 01:08:38,785 - I really like you a lot. - I like you, too. 1100 01:08:39,036 --> 01:08:42,789 - I can't stop thinking about you. - I can't stop thinking about you. 1101 01:08:42,831 --> 01:08:44,500 Please let me touch your feet. 1102 01:08:45,375 --> 01:08:48,045 Okay, this is getting weird. You can stand up now. 1103 01:08:51,507 --> 01:08:53,467 - Deeds! - Fellows! 1104 01:08:53,967 --> 01:08:56,803 We wanted to come and wish you the best on your big night. 1105 01:08:56,845 --> 01:09:00,974 Thanks a lot. I'm so nervous. I never asked anybody to marry me before. 1106 01:09:01,016 --> 01:09:03,602 It's 7:30, time for 'Inside Access'. 1107 01:09:03,685 --> 01:09:06,146 We're not in for any more nasty surprises, are we? 1108 01:09:06,563 --> 01:09:10,317 I don't think so. I haven't done anything stupid all day. I've been here. 1109 01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:14,238 Let's see what lame show they put on when they don't have Deeds to pick on. 1110 01:09:14,613 --> 01:09:16,031 Excuse me! 1111 01:09:16,990 --> 01:09:20,536 - Could you put on Channel 8, please? - You got it. 1112 01:09:23,121 --> 01:09:25,791 "Welcome to 'Inside Access'. I'm Mac McGrath." 1113 01:09:26,542 --> 01:09:30,420 "All of us here at "I. A." take pride" in our ability to handle... 1114 01:09:30,504 --> 01:09:33,048 ...every story with sensitivity and empathy... 1115 01:09:33,173 --> 01:09:33,924 Okay, pal. 1116 01:09:34,007 --> 01:09:36,885 ...while maintaining an appropriate journalistic distance. 1117 01:09:36,969 --> 01:09:41,515 "But what happens when a reporter" "becomes part of what she's reporting?" 1118 01:09:41,598 --> 01:09:45,477 What happens when a journalist falls in love with an idiot? 1119 01:09:46,687 --> 01:09:48,939 That's Longfellow Deeds with Pam Dawson. 1120 01:09:49,231 --> 01:09:51,859 - I can't believe they involved her in this. - A school nurse... 1121 01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:55,445 ...who recently moved to New York City "from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa." 1122 01:09:55,529 --> 01:09:59,408 But wait. Doesn't Pam Dawson bear a striking resemblance to... 1123 01:09:59,867 --> 01:10:03,120 ...Babe Bennett, "a producer here at 'Inside Access'?" 1124 01:10:03,412 --> 01:10:06,123 In fact, the two are one and the same. 1125 01:10:06,206 --> 01:10:09,877 "We'll wire your apartment" "with state-of-the-art surveillance video." 1126 01:10:10,502 --> 01:10:11,753 Sounds good. 1127 01:10:12,796 --> 01:10:13,797 Deeds. 1128 01:10:20,762 --> 01:10:23,765 I came here to try to explain. 1129 01:10:53,086 --> 01:10:55,297 I'm the biggest sucker in the world. 1130 01:10:56,340 --> 01:10:57,966 This town can be brutal. 1131 01:10:58,634 --> 01:11:00,135 I don't belong here. 1132 01:11:00,219 --> 01:11:03,138 I can't run the company, I can't even run my own life. 1133 01:11:03,180 --> 01:11:05,766 Sure you can. The good news is the papers are ready. 1134 01:11:05,849 --> 01:11:09,311 Once you sign them, we'll get our stock and you'll get your $40 billion. 1135 01:11:09,394 --> 01:11:12,314 I don't want that money. Just give it to a charity. 1136 01:11:12,689 --> 01:11:16,485 - What's a good charity? - The United Negro College Fund? 1137 01:11:16,819 --> 01:11:18,445 Okay, give it to those guys. 1138 01:11:24,368 --> 01:11:28,121 Can we give you a ride to the airport? The company chopper will take you home. 1139 01:11:28,163 --> 01:11:30,666 Thanks, anyway. I'll be all right on my own. 1140 01:11:31,708 --> 01:11:34,294 - Nice meeting you all. - Nice meeting you, Deeds. 1141 01:11:38,173 --> 01:11:39,258 Goodbye! 1142 01:11:41,176 --> 01:11:42,177 Goodbye. 1143 01:12:27,014 --> 01:12:28,140 It's not right. 1144 01:12:28,849 --> 01:12:30,142 It's not right. 1145 01:12:57,252 --> 01:12:59,379 You must be Jan. My name is... 1146 01:12:59,421 --> 01:13:02,591 I know who you are. Wham-bam Dawson. 1147 01:13:03,717 --> 01:13:05,719 A. K. A. Little Miss Slut-Slut. 1148 01:13:07,054 --> 01:13:09,139 Okay, I deserve that. 1149 01:13:09,223 --> 01:13:11,433 Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? 1150 01:13:11,767 --> 01:13:13,977 You're not getting anywhere near that boy. 1151 01:13:14,061 --> 01:13:17,940 I have to find him and there's nothing you can do to stop me. 1152 01:13:19,525 --> 01:13:23,737 - There's a lot I can do to stop you. - He needs to know how bad I feel. 1153 01:13:24,279 --> 01:13:26,782 And that I would go to the end of the earth... 1154 01:13:26,865 --> 01:13:30,786 ...I would do anything to take back what I did to him. 1155 01:13:30,828 --> 01:13:34,581 I'm sorry, all I heard was, "Blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp." 1156 01:13:36,250 --> 01:13:38,460 Tell you what. You get by me... 1157 01:13:40,546 --> 01:13:42,214 ...l'll tell you where he is. 1158 01:13:48,595 --> 01:13:49,930 Feeling crazy! 1159 01:13:52,683 --> 01:13:54,017 Come to Mama. 1160 01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:04,987 I was a rodeo clown for six years. You'll have to step it up a notch, shorty. 1161 01:14:05,070 --> 01:14:06,613 You mean like this? 1162 01:14:11,034 --> 01:14:14,329 Where were you kicking? I ain't got no balls, dummy! 1163 01:14:15,164 --> 01:14:16,123 Get up! 1164 01:14:17,291 --> 01:14:19,334 - Put me down! - You got it! 1165 01:14:23,755 --> 01:14:27,050 - Just tell me where Deeds is. - Bring your bony ass over here. 1166 01:14:28,260 --> 01:14:32,014 I want to cut you into eight slices of bitch-eroni. 1167 01:14:46,028 --> 01:14:47,321 Are you all right? 1168 01:14:48,405 --> 01:14:50,699 Good kick, honey. Good kick. 1169 01:14:54,536 --> 01:14:55,746 Crazy Eyes! 1170 01:15:03,212 --> 01:15:04,796 - All right. - Here you go. 1171 01:15:05,589 --> 01:15:07,841 Peanut butter and gumballs. Nice combo. 1172 01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:11,261 Don't worry about what happened. Time heals all things. 1173 01:15:12,721 --> 01:15:14,223 Except these crazy eyes. 1174 01:15:14,598 --> 01:15:16,850 It's good to be home. I know that much. 1175 01:15:17,601 --> 01:15:21,313 I wasn't talking to you, Deeds. I was talking to that squirrel over there. 1176 01:15:23,941 --> 01:15:26,193 Although it's a shame about that Cedar fellow... 1177 01:15:26,235 --> 01:15:29,696 ...tearing apart your uncle's company and firing all those nice people. 1178 01:15:29,738 --> 01:15:30,823 Where'd you hear that? 1179 01:15:30,906 --> 01:15:33,242 I watch the stock market channel all the time. 1180 01:15:33,575 --> 01:15:37,287 I just watch because I suspect that anchorman of being an evil leprechaun. 1181 01:15:37,746 --> 01:15:40,415 He can bullshit everybody else, but he ain't fooling me. 1182 01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:46,296 There it is. 1183 01:15:55,764 --> 01:15:56,765 Someone! 1184 01:15:57,224 --> 01:15:58,308 Help! 1185 01:16:04,022 --> 01:16:05,899 Deeds! Help! 1186 01:16:07,442 --> 01:16:09,570 Deeds! Help! 1187 01:16:09,653 --> 01:16:11,363 Oh, God! Deeds! 1188 01:16:22,624 --> 01:16:23,959 Oh, my God! 1189 01:16:33,051 --> 01:16:35,596 Where do you got the camera hidden, in the woods? 1190 01:16:35,679 --> 01:16:36,847 No camera. 1191 01:16:36,972 --> 01:16:39,433 I'm so cold. Please! 1192 01:16:39,683 --> 01:16:41,560 You gonna get mugged in there, too? 1193 01:16:41,894 --> 01:16:43,103 I'm so... 1194 01:16:44,104 --> 01:16:45,063 ...sorry. 1195 01:16:45,314 --> 01:16:48,275 I really love you. 1196 01:16:49,318 --> 01:16:50,652 Bullshit! 1197 01:17:16,303 --> 01:17:17,471 I'm coming! 1198 01:17:19,890 --> 01:17:22,601 Go down! Go down! 1199 01:17:22,684 --> 01:17:24,561 Here comes the black foot. 1200 01:17:26,605 --> 01:17:27,606 No! 1201 01:17:31,318 --> 01:17:33,612 I know it's gross, but grab it. 1202 01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:40,327 I got you. I got you. 1203 01:17:40,744 --> 01:17:45,499 - Oh, God, your foot is disgusting! - I know, I know. Come here. 1204 01:17:45,999 --> 01:17:48,585 Come on, you okay? You okay? 1205 01:17:49,294 --> 01:17:50,546 I think so. 1206 01:17:54,049 --> 01:17:56,885 You didn't really fall out of an apple tree, did you? 1207 01:17:58,887 --> 01:17:59,888 No. 1208 01:18:02,558 --> 01:18:04,059 But I really love you. 1209 01:18:06,186 --> 01:18:08,313 I don't even know who you are. 1210 01:18:09,398 --> 01:18:10,691 I'm sorry. 1211 01:18:37,259 --> 01:18:39,094 I am so sorry. 1212 01:18:47,102 --> 01:18:51,565 A company in tatters. Preston Blake's great legacy gone to the highest bidder. 1213 01:18:51,607 --> 01:18:55,360 The shocking announcement from Chuck Cedar today confirmed that Blake Media... 1214 01:18:55,444 --> 01:18:58,280 ...will be stripped down and sold off piece by piece. 1215 01:18:58,614 --> 01:19:01,992 The only man who could stand up to Mr. Cedar and save the company... 1216 01:19:02,075 --> 01:19:06,580 ...Longfellow Deeds, has apparently given up his voting rights and left the city. 1217 01:19:07,122 --> 01:19:09,791 "The sale's expected to pass" with unanimous consent... 1218 01:19:09,833 --> 01:19:13,795 ...at the annual stockholders' meeting here in New York tomorrow afternoon. 1219 01:19:14,254 --> 01:19:17,841 "Sources indicate that virtually" "all of Blake's 50,000 employees..." 1220 01:19:17,925 --> 01:19:20,385 ...are likely to lose their jobs. 1221 01:19:20,469 --> 01:19:22,513 Wait a minute. I'm a Blake employee. 1222 01:19:23,263 --> 01:19:26,016 Holy shit! This sucks. 1223 01:19:27,142 --> 01:19:30,938 Ladies and gentlemen, the bottom line is that this divestiture... 1224 01:19:30,979 --> 01:19:35,984 ...will result in every shareholder, all of you and myself included... 1225 01:19:36,401 --> 01:19:39,363 ...getting a substantial premium for our shares. 1226 01:19:41,198 --> 01:19:44,827 But before we vote, the company bylaws require me to open the floor... 1227 01:19:44,910 --> 01:19:48,705 ...to shareholders for statements either for or against this buyout plan. 1228 01:19:49,122 --> 01:19:51,208 Does anyone wish to make a statement? 1229 01:19:51,667 --> 01:19:55,254 Dismantling this company would be an insult to a great man. 1230 01:19:56,088 --> 01:19:57,130 You scared me. 1231 01:19:57,589 --> 01:20:01,760 It is an unspeakable outrage and it cannot be allowed to happen. 1232 01:20:05,597 --> 01:20:07,808 Excuse me. I got a statement. 1233 01:20:10,561 --> 01:20:12,146 Longfellow Deeds. 1234 01:20:12,187 --> 01:20:15,232 "Unfortunately, since you sold me" "your 300 million shares..." 1235 01:20:15,315 --> 01:20:18,735 ...you've no right to speak at this meeting. - Unfortunately for you... 1236 01:20:18,819 --> 01:20:21,530 ...I bought one share of Blake Media this morning. 1237 01:20:21,613 --> 01:20:24,366 You told me every stockholder has a say in this company. 1238 01:20:24,741 --> 01:20:26,326 Even the little guy. 1239 01:20:28,662 --> 01:20:33,041 You have two minutes, but remember, I control 49 percent of this company. 1240 01:20:33,125 --> 01:20:36,253 You're gonna have to persuade just about everyone else... 1241 01:20:36,336 --> 01:20:37,838 "...to start hating money." 1242 01:20:45,596 --> 01:20:47,806 Hello, everybody. I'm Deeds." 1243 01:20:48,724 --> 01:20:51,810 "For a little while, I was a big part of this company." 1244 01:20:52,394 --> 01:20:54,688 "I was wicked rich and powerful." 1245 01:20:55,439 --> 01:20:58,192 "Now being rich and powerful isn't a bad thing." 1246 01:20:59,318 --> 01:21:03,238 It looks like the Monopoly guy over there is pretty darned psyched about it. 1247 01:21:04,239 --> 01:21:07,242 But the problem is what can happen when you decide... 1248 01:21:07,326 --> 01:21:11,705 ...that you would do absolutely anything "to become rich and powerful." 1249 01:21:11,747 --> 01:21:14,625 I don't know who licked the red off your lollipop today... 1250 01:21:14,708 --> 01:21:17,044 ...but you are preaching to the wrong choir. 1251 01:21:17,377 --> 01:21:19,546 All I'm saying is, when you were kids... 1252 01:21:19,588 --> 01:21:22,800 ...did you dream about becoming a savvy investor one day... 1253 01:21:23,091 --> 01:21:25,969 ...who would think with his wallet "instead of his heart?" 1254 01:21:27,137 --> 01:21:28,972 Come on, I know I didn't. 1255 01:21:29,473 --> 01:21:31,225 I wanted to be a fireman. 1256 01:21:32,017 --> 01:21:35,395 I wanted to be the guy everybody called on if they were in trouble. 1257 01:21:35,813 --> 01:21:37,397 I wanted to help people... 1258 01:21:37,439 --> 01:21:40,567 ...and yeah, I wanted to slide down those wicked awesome poles. 1259 01:21:41,985 --> 01:21:45,405 But money, that was the last thing I thought about. 1260 01:21:46,365 --> 01:21:49,451 What about you, sir? Did you want to be a fireman? 1261 01:21:49,535 --> 01:21:50,869 No, I did not. 1262 01:21:52,412 --> 01:21:54,665 Truth be told, I wanted to be a veterinarian. 1263 01:21:54,748 --> 01:21:57,209 Cool. Why would you want to do that? 1264 01:21:58,085 --> 01:22:01,004 - I wanted to help sick animals. - And what do you do now? 1265 01:22:01,421 --> 01:22:03,423 I own a chain of slaughterhouses. 1266 01:22:03,841 --> 01:22:06,760 You kind of went the other way on that one, didn't you? 1267 01:22:07,803 --> 01:22:08,679 Okay. 1268 01:22:08,762 --> 01:22:11,348 In the back. Come on. Tell me what you wanted to be. 1269 01:22:11,431 --> 01:22:13,642 I wanted to be a magician. 1270 01:22:15,269 --> 01:22:19,314 - And what do you do now? - I operate a pornographic website. 1271 01:22:20,023 --> 01:22:24,111 That makes people happy also, I guess. But kind of in a grosser way. 1272 01:22:25,404 --> 01:22:27,739 - Who else? - I wanted to be a senator. 1273 01:22:28,240 --> 01:22:32,119 - I wanted to be a florist. - International House Pancake. 1274 01:22:32,661 --> 01:22:34,288 I wanted to be a man. 1275 01:22:36,456 --> 01:22:38,333 That explains a lot. 1276 01:22:38,876 --> 01:22:41,128 I wanted to be a Ping-Pong champion. 1277 01:22:43,964 --> 01:22:46,842 But you're not those things you wanted to be, are you? 1278 01:22:47,301 --> 01:22:51,138 Everybody made a compromise, then another compromise, and now... 1279 01:22:51,180 --> 01:22:56,101 "...you're about to put 50,000 people out of work," to make a quick buck? Come on. 1280 01:22:56,602 --> 01:22:59,980 "I bet if we ran into the 6th-grade versions" of ourselves right now... 1281 01:23:00,022 --> 01:23:03,025 ...they would kick our asses and put Bubble Yum in our hair... 1282 01:23:03,108 --> 01:23:05,194 ...for even thinking about doing this. 1283 01:23:07,404 --> 01:23:09,990 He's right. I would've beat my greedy ass red. 1284 01:23:10,240 --> 01:23:12,618 I would've thrown myself off the merry-go-round. 1285 01:23:12,701 --> 01:23:17,164 I would've tied myself naked to a chair and burned myself with lit cigarettes. 1286 01:23:18,582 --> 01:23:21,543 Did anyone here dream of becoming a psychiatrist? 1287 01:23:21,668 --> 01:23:22,836 Just kidding, pal. 1288 01:23:23,837 --> 01:23:26,632 There's still hope for the kids inside of all of us. 1289 01:23:26,715 --> 01:23:29,176 Please don't break up my uncle's company. 1290 01:23:31,553 --> 01:23:33,180 I always wanted to do that. 1291 01:23:44,024 --> 01:23:45,025 Well... 1292 01:23:46,068 --> 01:23:47,903 ...that was very touching, Deeds. 1293 01:23:49,071 --> 01:23:51,281 It appears this divestiture has been defeated. 1294 01:23:51,949 --> 01:23:53,826 Unless I'm forgetting something. 1295 01:23:55,285 --> 01:23:56,912 "My 300 million votes..." 1296 01:23:56,995 --> 01:24:00,916 ...plus the five million votes I control as proxy for the foreign investors. 1297 01:24:00,958 --> 01:24:03,168 "So which way should I vote my 51 percent?" 1298 01:24:04,837 --> 01:24:06,088 I vote aye. 1299 01:24:06,672 --> 01:24:08,882 305 million times. 1300 01:24:10,134 --> 01:24:14,012 The ayes have it. And Blake Media is no more. 1301 01:24:14,096 --> 01:24:15,889 Not so fast, Chuck. 1302 01:24:17,224 --> 01:24:20,519 Too bad for you, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a good reporter. 1303 01:24:20,602 --> 01:24:23,355 Miss Bennett, I wasn't aware you were a stockholder. 1304 01:24:23,438 --> 01:24:25,566 There's a couple things you're not aware of. 1305 01:24:25,649 --> 01:24:28,193 How to tweeze your eyebrows, for instance. 1306 01:24:28,694 --> 01:24:33,240 Also, when Deeds gave away his fortune, he gave away something that wasn't his. 1307 01:24:34,658 --> 01:24:39,121 - What are you talking about? - I have here the diary of Preston Blake. 1308 01:24:41,999 --> 01:24:43,458 I stole it and read it. 1309 01:24:43,500 --> 01:24:46,795 Please don't be mad at me. I did it for good reasons, I promise. 1310 01:24:47,171 --> 01:24:50,132 I would like to read a passage from Mr. Blake's diary... 1311 01:24:50,424 --> 01:24:52,968 "...dated April 12, 1957." 1312 01:24:53,969 --> 01:24:56,263 "I am a volcano of lust. 1313 01:24:56,388 --> 01:25:00,142 "I've gotten this far in business "by following my heart. 1314 01:25:00,642 --> 01:25:02,352 "And I must follow it now... 1315 01:25:02,936 --> 01:25:04,229 "...in love. 1316 01:25:05,981 --> 01:25:09,443 "If she just gives me a sign, an opening." 1317 01:25:09,818 --> 01:25:12,654 Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Mr. Blake? 1318 01:25:14,281 --> 01:25:15,991 You can call me Preston. 1319 01:25:18,035 --> 01:25:21,747 Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Preston? 1320 01:25:23,457 --> 01:25:24,458 Yes. 1321 01:25:26,585 --> 01:25:27,586 Yes. 1322 01:25:28,504 --> 01:25:29,463 Yes! 1323 01:25:30,672 --> 01:25:32,591 Who was this mystery woman? 1324 01:25:32,841 --> 01:25:37,471 I have here the Blake Media ledger sign-in book from April, 1957. 1325 01:25:38,138 --> 01:25:43,185 On the night of the 12th, there was only one woman working on Blake's floor. 1326 01:25:43,644 --> 01:25:48,106 Sadly, nine months later, she died, giving birth to a son. 1327 01:25:48,690 --> 01:25:50,150 A son born... 1328 01:25:50,442 --> 01:25:53,362 ...January 23, 1958. 1329 01:25:54,112 --> 01:25:55,489 That is my birthday. 1330 01:25:55,823 --> 01:25:57,991 To Miss Consuela Lopez. 1331 01:25:58,534 --> 01:25:59,993 That is my mother. 1332 01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:02,871 And the rightful heir to $40 billionl 1333 01:26:03,330 --> 01:26:04,832 That is my money? 1334 01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,501 A simple DNA test will show... 1335 01:26:07,626 --> 01:26:11,672 ...that Emilio Lopez is the majority stockholder to Blake Media. 1336 01:26:11,922 --> 01:26:14,049 - It is my money! - That's your money! 1337 01:26:14,216 --> 01:26:15,759 That is my money! 1338 01:26:17,386 --> 01:26:18,762 Way to go, Emilio! 1339 01:26:19,054 --> 01:26:21,431 I will do good things for everyone. 1340 01:26:21,932 --> 01:26:24,184 Free flamenco lessons for all. 1341 01:26:24,268 --> 01:26:26,353 People, people! Please! 1342 01:26:26,520 --> 01:26:30,023 - That is my money. - Don't be misled. These are all lies. 1343 01:26:30,399 --> 01:26:31,692 Mr. Cedar... 1344 01:26:32,484 --> 01:26:33,652 ...you are fired. 1345 01:26:34,111 --> 01:26:35,863 You can't fire me! 1346 01:26:36,405 --> 01:26:37,906 I'm in control! 1347 01:26:38,240 --> 01:26:40,033 Get your hands off me! I'm Chuck Cedar! 1348 01:26:40,659 --> 01:26:42,411 At the lake, when you saved my life... 1349 01:26:42,494 --> 01:26:45,164 ...which I never got a chance to properly thank you for... 1350 01:26:45,247 --> 01:26:47,749 - You're welcome. - You said you didn't know who I was. 1351 01:26:47,833 --> 01:26:50,335 And it made me realize I don't know who I am. 1352 01:26:50,502 --> 01:26:53,755 So I started working on it and here's what I got so far. 1353 01:26:54,256 --> 01:26:57,718 My name is Babe Bennett. I grew up in Syossett, Long Island. 1354 01:26:57,885 --> 01:27:01,847 I have brown eyes and I don't know what my natural hair color is anymore. 1355 01:27:02,222 --> 01:27:05,392 When I was in 5th grade, I got a crush on Walter Cronkite. 1356 01:27:05,434 --> 01:27:09,062 And I really did have that Holly Hobby notebook I was telling you about. 1357 01:27:09,146 --> 01:27:13,233 I love Bruce Springsteen, Almond Roca and Abbott and Costello movies. 1358 01:27:13,442 --> 01:27:15,527 I don't like licorice or my ankles. 1359 01:27:16,111 --> 01:27:19,239 More importantly, I know that I messed up real bad. 1360 01:27:19,448 --> 01:27:22,117 And I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life... 1361 01:27:22,493 --> 01:27:24,786 ...begging you to give me another chance... 1362 01:27:24,953 --> 01:27:27,289 ...because I am so deeply in love with you... 1363 01:27:28,373 --> 01:27:31,793 ...and I know it's definitely that forever kind of love... 1364 01:27:31,877 --> 01:27:33,212 You're crazy. 1365 01:27:35,631 --> 01:27:37,132 You have beautiful ankles. 1366 01:27:47,684 --> 01:27:49,144 Let's go home. 1367 01:27:51,647 --> 01:27:54,358 You're firedl Youl Youl 1368 01:27:54,650 --> 01:27:57,152 Oh, you, sir. You are definitely fired. 1369 01:27:57,820 --> 01:28:02,783 I'd like to stay. I think I can really do some good if I just got another chance. 1370 01:28:06,495 --> 01:28:10,499 Not fired. But tomorrow morning, you let me change your socks. 1371 01:28:12,167 --> 01:28:13,126 Okay. 1372 01:28:14,461 --> 01:28:17,548 And you, Long-Long-Longfellow... 1373 01:28:17,923 --> 01:28:21,218 ...you are the one who made all this possible... 1374 01:28:21,301 --> 01:28:24,304 ...with your beautiful words and your beautiful spirit. 1375 01:28:24,638 --> 01:28:27,432 And Miss Bennett, with her beautiful research. 1376 01:28:27,975 --> 01:28:29,393 How can I thank you? 1377 01:28:29,810 --> 01:28:32,980 All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man. 1378 01:28:34,189 --> 01:28:35,399 I'll miss you. 1379 01:28:36,859 --> 01:28:37,818 Deeds! 1380 01:28:39,153 --> 01:28:41,989 - How about $1 billion? - All right. 1381 01:28:42,531 --> 01:28:43,407 Done. 1382 01:28:56,295 --> 01:28:57,337 Holy Jeezl 1383 01:28:58,172 --> 01:28:59,631 I can't believe it! 1384 01:29:00,215 --> 01:29:02,593 - What's that? - A letter from Hallmark. 1385 01:29:02,676 --> 01:29:05,179 They're actually going to buy one of my cards. 1386 01:29:05,262 --> 01:29:09,349 - My gosh! Which one? - The one I wrote for you, remember it? 1387 01:29:09,975 --> 01:29:11,393 Do I remember? 1388 01:29:12,060 --> 01:29:14,897 "Hard to breathe, feels like floating 1389 01:29:15,397 --> 01:29:18,025 "So full of love my heart's exploding 1390 01:29:18,275 --> 01:29:21,320 "Mouth is dry, hands are shaking 1391 01:29:21,737 --> 01:29:24,031 "My heart is yours for the taking 1392 01:29:24,490 --> 01:29:26,783 "Acting weird, not myself 1393 01:29:27,242 --> 01:29:29,870 "Dancing around like the Keebler elf 1394 01:29:30,162 --> 01:29:33,207 "Finally time for this poor schlub 1395 01:29:34,750 --> 01:29:37,878 "to know how it feels to fall in lub" 1396 01:29:38,504 --> 01:29:39,797 I'm so proud of you! 1397 01:29:45,886 --> 01:29:48,639 Can you believe Deeds bought us all these? 1398 01:29:53,227 --> 01:29:55,062 Damn, these things are fast! 1399 01:29:59,441 --> 01:30:00,734 I'm okay! 1400 01:30:01,777 --> 01:30:02,653 I'm okay!