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(intense music)
(mellow music)
- We're forced to handle the challenges of E-S-L,
different cultural traditions,
everything they enter the classroom with.
Serious family dysfunction.
Basically, our schools, New York City schools,
are one big experiment,
one big laboratory in this exercise we call
the American experience.
And we as teachers aren't equipped
to deal with the task at hand.
We're not,
that's
the sad truth.
So, after lunch, I'll introduce some exercises
designed to demonstrate what we all share,
teachers and students because our research shows
that building this sort of common ground
in the beginning of the year,
in the first few weeks, is key
to classroom management
and, more importantly, academic success.
- God, I got completely smashed.
- Enjoy it while you can. - Exactly.
One last weekend of fun.
Todd made this killer sangria.
- So, did he ask you yet?
What? - Though, I'm not 100% sure,
but I think this weekend. - Why?
I mean, how do you know?
- Just a feeling. - Come on, a feeling?
- [Woman] Okay, okay, I also found the ring
in his sock drawer.
- Uh-uh! - No way!
- I wasn't really looking,
but-- - Liar!
- Okay, I was kind of looking.
I was looking. - Of course, you were.
And? - Big, 1 1/2 carats.
I didn't get a good look at it
because he was in the bathroom,
but I'm gonna check again tonight.
- [Rochel] Sorry, the workshop ran late.
- And so how was it?
- Fine.
Diversity training.
I guess we can learn how to
handle kids from all different cultures.
- They teach you that in one day?
Not an easy task.
- It's a week, Matan.
- [Matan] Still, not an easy task.
- Are they all schwartzes at that school?
- Avi, we don't use that word in our house.
And besides, they're not all black.
Are they?
- No.
- Of course, you see?
That's why they have the training.
- Are there other orthodox teachers?
- What, Mom, you said it wasn't a normal yeshiva.
- Hold it, wait.
Before we ask Rochel any more questions,
she might like to eat something too.
(prays in foreign language)
- [All] Amen.
- Okay.
- Well, I want to tell you
that your aunt called this afternoon.
You know why?
She scheduled a meeting with the shadchan this Sunday.
- Really?
Can I come?
- What's a shadchan again? - Shush.
I said that would work.
It does, right?
- [Naomi] For the first meeting, does she have a list,
or does she have to meet Rochel first?
- [Avi] What's a shadchan again?
- Shush.
- Why?
- Because.
- Rochel,
it's nothing to worry about.
This is going to be one of the most
exciting times in your life.
I promise you.
The memories of that time,
they fill me with joy.
You too, right?
What a gift.
- [Sheli] Stop.
- True.
I remember
walking up the steps in that apartment in
Lee Avenue.
I remember the way it smelled,
the light,
the color of the hallway.
I remember before I knocked on that old green door.
- Absolutely not green, a deep red.
- Red?
- It's still red.
- Be that as it may,
before I knocked on the door I had this feeling.
I had this indescribable feeling, I did.
And then when your mother opened the door,
(snaps finger)
I knew.
What a gift.
True. (mellow music)
(school bell ringing)
- Can't we make a better circle than this?
It looks like a broken egg.
Well, that's a little better.
So, let's continue getting to know each other.
Tell us your name and something about yourself
that gives us insight into who you really are.
Let's make it something really juicy, okay?
Nobody?
Shy?
Well, you're going to have to get over that because
these kids are gonna walk right over you
if you don't get over that.
Am I right,
you people who've been teaching for a long time?
- Nasira.
- (giggles) Okay.
Well, my name is Nasira Khaldi,
and I was born in Syria.
I came to Brooklyn with my parents when I was five.
My father was a Hafez,
which is basically a scholar of the Koran,
and now he owns a gas station on Flatbush.
He's not so juicy.
He's a serious guy, in a good way.
- And is that why you wear the hijab, the veil?
- Oh, you mean, does he make me wear it?
No.
People ask me that a lot, though, but no, I...
I choose to wear it.
It's my choice
as an expression of my beliefs
and my adherence to what's written in the Koran
about feminine modesty,
humility.
I'm not sure if that's juicy,
but that's something, so. - It's pretty juicy.
Actually, I think the veil is quite beautiful.
It's a fashion statement, isn't it?
I bet you get more attention wearing it than not,
which kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
- Maybe.
(giggles) No.
- Anyway.
Beth?
- Oh, well, you all pretty much know me.
I've been teaching here for three years, Beth Callaway.
Grew up on long island, still live there.
I hate that commute, but I love the kids.
Something juicy?
(laughs) I got something.
Over the summer we went to Europe,
and it was my first time there,
and (laughing) I have to say this,
but I found the whole, you know, topless sunbathing thing
very liberating.
It was.
So there. (women laughing)
- All right, just don't get too liberated at recess,
or they're going to close down my school.
- All right, fair enough.
- Hi, (giggles nervously) I'm Rochel Meshenberg.
- Could you pronounce your first name for us again?
- Oh okay, sure, it's, it's it's Rochel,
but you can call me Rachel if that's easier.
- No, no, no, that's your name,
and we're gonna learn how to pronounce it.
Once more.
- Okay.
It's Rochel.
- [Principal Jacoby] Everybody.
- Rochel. - Beautiful.
- Okay, (giggles) thank you.
Well, I'll be working as a para this year,
working with a special-needs child.
I don't know who yet.
I think that's basically it.
I don't have any
very big secrets to tell.
- Are you sure?
Are you sure? (laughing)
Don't we all have something?
It's okay, all right.
Well, I think that's everybody, very good,
and welcome to the new school year.
- Nasira.
Nasira.
Baba, I don't want a deaf daughter.
- Baba, don't worry, I'm fine.
- It's in my nature to worry, I can't help it.
I can speak to you later?
- Okay, or now.
I have to run out to the mosque now.
I have some very important news to share with you, Ya Binti,
about the future.
So, I'll see you later?
- Yeah, okay.
(speaking foreign language)
- [Abdul-Halim] My youngest daughter.
(women chatting)
- Hi.
Is she ready?
- Can I come too? - Of course not.
- [Naomi] Why, I just want to see how it works.
And you will,
soon enough.
Now, where is she?
Rochela?
- Hi. - Hi, hi.
- I think she's nervous.
Her stomach's been bothering her.
- Well, of course she is. - Such a day.
- But there's absolutely nothing to be worried about.
It's an adventure, one of the best ones there is.
- Which is what we've been telling her, an adventure.
- Maybe frowned upon by some, but let me tell you,
it's much safer in the bigger picture.
- Over the course of a lifetime.
- Mm-hmm.
To let those who have known you from day one,
who have seen your unique character evolve,
to let them help you find a partner
who's good for a lifetime,
not just a year until the infatuation wears off.
- I'm proud of you. - Stop.
Stop making such a big deal.
- All right, all right.
Let's go, let's go.
It's gonna be fun.
You're next! (giggling)
- Sensitive.
Definitely the sensitive type,
that's how I'd categorize him.
He's finishing up his studies at yeshiva.
He'll probably end up working
at his uncle's store on 43rd street,
digital imaging, a good business.
- The uncle does very well. - Very well.
Of course, there's always Seth Goldstein.
- Oh, I hear he has an excellent job.
- Very ambitious, works with computers.
His mother tells me he's planning
on starting his own business next year.
- [Elona] Of course, that means he wouldn't be
around the house very much.
- Which is good if he's earning enough for you to hire help.
- And horrible if he's not.
- Look, we'll schedule with Elliot Rabinowitz
and the Goldstein boy, just the two to start.
You just have to remain open.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
Put your best self forward
and see what the chemistry is like.
See if there's a little spark.
You understand?
- You're beautiful.
You're smart,
and you're going to make some lucky man
very happy. - Very happy, mm-hmm.
- Trust me, Rochela.
(mellow music) (children laughing)
- [Principal Jacoby] Hi.
This is Parker, right?
It's your first time, right?
Hi, Madison.
Hi, Michelle. (laughs)
(woman muttering)
- Hi.
I'm Rochel, Rochel Meshenberg.
You're Edward, right? - Eddie, yeah.
So, what should I call you, Miss Rachel?
- Yeah, sure, that works for me.
I'm very happy to be working with your son this year.
- Well, I hope everything works out for you
because he is a handful.
- Oh, we're going to have a good time,
and learn a lot too, right?
- Great.
Well, I've got to get going.
You good?
- Yeah. - Okay.
(speaking foreign language)
I love you.
It was nice to meet you. - Bye-bye.
Okay, so now we're going to go over some basics
and then in about 10 minutes,
we're going to head over to meet your class.
- With, with Miss Elisa?
- Uh, no, there's actually a new teacher this year.
- Yeah, I knew she wasn't gonna last.
Hey yo.
Can I touch your face?
Look, I only see shapes, you know?
I mean, I gotta feel what my new teacher looks like.
It was cool with Miss Diana last year.
- Okay.
Go ahead, yeah.
(gentle music)
(children talking)
- You're Elliot?
- Yes.
- [Sheli] Elliot Rabinowitz?
- Yes.
- What?
- I am, yes. - Well, come in.
Come, come on.
Don't be shy, my husband is in the living room.
- Oh, you've come to steal my eldest daughter?
- Pardon me? - Oh, nothing.
Sit, sit.
Please sit down.
There's nothing to worry about.
So.
- Yes, yes, I just wanted
to thank you
for this opportunity
to come
into your home, meet your family.
This
wonderful opportunity.
My father wanted to let you know that...
Regards. - Yes.
I understand.
And give him
my regards also.
Oh.
The lady of the hour.
- What?
- My daughter,
Rochela.
- Rochel, what about her?
- She's standing right behind you.
Hi.
(clears throat) Hi.
Hi.
Thank you.
Hello.
- Very nice to meet you.
- Yes,
me too,
very.
- So, this is the first time for you too?
(mumbling)
You're just beginning to meet women?
- Yes.
Well,
this is my
14th.
- And what are you planning for this evening?
- Well, she said to...
I mean, I thought I'd...
We'd go to Rodinger's for something to eat,
Tea.
- Sounds good to me.
- [Matan] Have a good time.
(slide projector clicking)
- This was the late 1800s,
just after the end of the civil war.
he was feared by the settlers--
- A photograph of a chief.
He looks very proud, dignified, serious.
- [Jimmy] They ain't the same religion.
- [Justin] What are you talking about?
- What's the problem, Justin?
- [Justin] Nothing.
- [Nasira] Well, it doesn't sound like nothing,
so, come on, out with it.
- Well, Jimmy was saying
that you and Miss Rachel can't be friends
because you're from different religions,
like you hate each other or something.
- And why would you think that, Jimmy?
- Well, are you? - Are we what?
- [Jimmy] Friends, 'cause I heard that the Muslims
want to kill all the Jews.
Aren't you Muslim?
- Do you think I want to kill you, Miss Rochel?
- No, of course not.
- Yes, Rebecca? - I heard that too,
that the Muslims wanted to push Israel back into the ocean.
- The Muslims?
There are more than 1 1/2 billion Muslims worldwide
in different counties, speaking different languages,
with different ways of viewing the world,
and there are always people who hate other people.
And it's out of ignorance.
It's because they feel scared, or they feel threatened,
or maybe they just don't understand
where the other people are coming from.
- So how many of them want to kill the Jews then?
- Yeah, like, how many?
- I have an idea.
It'll have to be for next time, but before next class,
I want each of you to think of one word that represents you.
Could be anything, right,
like your skin color, your religion,
favorite sports team, anything at all.
- Is everyone listening to Miss Rochel?
(bell rings)
Okay, remember the assignment,
one word that represents you somehow.
(mellow music)
- [Rochel] Did you have a good day today?
- Yeah, it was cool. - Yeah?
You had fun?
- Yeah. (laughing)
- Okay, here's your mom.
Here's the stairs, watch out.
- See you, Miss Rachel. - Okay, see you Monday.
- I got a good word for that exercise,
and I ain't telling you.
- No, "And I'm not telling."
- I know. I know. (Rochel chuckles)
- Okay, I look forward to finding out what it is.
- Rochel?
Could, could you come in here a minute, please?
Sit down, relax.
Relax.
So, what happened this afternoon?
- Happened?
- The Jews being pushed into the ocean?
- Oh.
I think it'll be okay.
We're going to do an exercise.
- What kind of exercise?
- A unity circle.
- Okay, well, all right.
Just don't waste too much time with it, okay.
These kids have a lot of academics they have to learn.
- Okay.
- Look at you.
- At me?
- You're beautiful.
You're a beautiful woman under all that.
You're stunning, you could be a model.
I'm not kidding.
Oh, there's the other culprit.
Nasira?
Hello?
Could you come in here a minute?
That's it.
Go on, sit next to Rochel.
What's going on?
- I was just telling Rochel how beautiful she is,
the way I told you last week.
Let's get down to brass tacks here.
Look, the two of you
are some of my smartest teachers.
I mean, you work hard.
You love your kids.
You come on time, you're creative.
You're successful participants in the modern world
except for this religious thing,
you know, I mean, the rules,
the regulations, the way you dress.
What happens in two, three years?
I lose you?
I lose you to the yeshiva.
I lose you to the mosque school,
and then they marry you off?
I mean, come on, we're in the 21st century here,
for crying out loud.
There was a women's movement, you know.
I went through it.
I'm getting carried away.
But you know what I mean.
Okay, good, go, go home.
Better yet,
I'll tell you what, go shopping.
Okay, here's some money.
Get yourself some designer clothes.
- We can't take your money. - Really, that's okay.
- No, no, no, get out of those fakakta outfits,
buy yourself some designer clothes.
- We can't take your money. - No, that's okay.
- All right.
But think about what I said, okay?
Go.
Go home, the two of you.
Go have a drink, enjoy yourself.
You're too serious.
And let me know,
I wanna know how that exercise works out, okay?
- Wow.
I really didn't see that coming.
- I know.
(giggling)
I have to do a little more prep.
- Yeah, me too.
Oh, I wanted to say thank you
for helping me out in class and stepping in.
And I'm looking forward to you leading the exercise.
- Yeah, well, we'll see.
I learned it one year at summer camp, so,
I hope it works. - Yeah, me too.
- Okay. - Okay.
(mellow music)
- Seth Goldstein? - Correct.
I'm here to meet your daughter.
- Come in.
Oh.
- [Seth] Is Mr. Meshenberg waiting for me
in the living room?
You've got a light out here.
It could be an electrical thing.
My cousin moody is an electrician.
He'll give you a good price.
This is roomy. - Right in here.
You shouldn't leave the food out though,
'cause they say if you have one roach,
you have a million roaches. - Roaches?
- You do get good light in here, though.
- Mr. Meshenberg.
- You know the property rights, hey, Mr. Meshenberg,
through the roof.
I don't know if you are apartment people.
You know, the whole thing with networking,
everybody's in it, it's saturated already.
You know, web-based communications,
that's really where all the opportunity lies.
I mean, so that's where my focus is.
Jared Shrazer, do you know him?
He's another genius.
He got his M.B.A. and his law degree at the same time.
We went to summer camp with him.
I was actually there when he broke his leg.
It was the first non-asthma-related injury
that ever happened at that particular camp.
It was a very big deal,
and they ended up putting
railings on everything, every walkway, every staircase.
It was a whole big thing,
but that's what you have to do with insurance.
I noticed last week, actually that Jared still hasn't--
(children playing)
- Come on, play with me. - No, I'm too tired already.
- Please.
- Oy, okay, okay.
- Zahir. - Oh, watch out.
- Stop, come back and apologize to the woman.
- Oh, hi. - Hi.
- I'm so sorry, he has so much energy.
- I know all about it. - Zahir!
- He's your brother?
- No, he's my nephew.
I have an older brother and sister.
- That's my brother.
This is my cousin. - Oh.
- Are you Jewish?
- No, Avi, she's not.
This is Nasira, she teaches with me,
and she's Muslim. - Yes.
- It's not polite to stare, Avi.
- That's okay.
Zahir.
Oh, look, Avi, this is Zahir. - Hi.
- Why don't you guys go and play together?
- Is he Jewish?
- No, but it doesn't matter, Avi, okay?
Hey, why don't you go play with the new kite we got?
Right?
Huh?
Looks like fun.
It's brand new.
- That's fun. - It's perfect.
- That's a good idea. - Wanna go too?
- Be careful.
Someone should be shooting a commercial for world peace.
- Yeah, right.
- You know, I've been thinking about
that little lecture Miss Jacoby gave us.
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
- It just, it wasn't right.
It was totally
ignorant.
It was, it was arrogant.
It...
I mean, who does she think she is?
- You'd think she'd be more considerate,
given her position. - Right.
You know, we could probably sue her, retire at 25.
Do you want to?
- We could just educate her a little.
- I'll leave that up to you.
- Let's look around the room,
see what our classmates have chosen,
and then I want each of you
to read off the word on your chest
and tell us why you chose it, okay?
So, Eddie, you can start.
- So, I kind of picked Boricua 'cause that's who I am,
Puerto Rican, and proud of it.
I love the music.
I love to dance.
I love the barbecues in the park.
I like all of it.
That's who I am, Boricua.
- Very good.
Okay, so.
Do we feel that we can include Eddie in our circle?
Do we feel comfortable having a Boricua among us?
- Yes. - Yes? Very good.
Okay, next.
Rebecca.
- Well, I chose potential because
when my nana told me, well, before she died, that
I can be anything I want to be.
- That's very nice.
Okay, so how do we feel
about having someone with potential in our group?
- Yeah, that's fine. - Fine?
Good?
Good.
Okay.
Justin.
- No way, no. - No! Please no!
- [Nasira] Okay, quiet down, quiet down, enough.
- Okay.
Why don't you tell us what your word is
and why you chose it?
- Just what it says, nasty.
- And what does that mean to you?
- What does it mean to you?
- [Nasira] Justin, I'm warning you.
- Well, I guess the question is,
how do we feel about having someone who is nasty
in our group?
What do you all think?
- No. - No.
- Hmm? - Yeah.
- Okay. All right.
I think we'd better take a vote on it.
So, all who say no, hands up.
Okay.
Justin is no longer allowed in our unity circle.
He's kicked out.
Justin, please have a seat.
- Hold up, how can you just kick him out like that?
That ain't fair.
- But, but we choose who are friends are, right,
Who we want in our circles?
Just like last class, when you thought it was impossible
that Miss Nasira and I could be friends
because she's Muslim and I'm Jewish.
We all have our traits, our characteristics,
our words on our chests, right?
But it comes down to a choice,
an individual choice about who we spend our time with
and how we choose to communicate.
- So, if he chooses another word,
he can come back in the circle, right?
- Maybe.
We'd all have to decide again,
and it would depend on the word.
- Come on, choose another word and come back in the circle.
(gentle music)
- Uh, Rochela.
- What?
- Now's not the time.
- Why can't she have any? - Avi.
- I just want to remind you about...
You just want to look your best in the coming weeks.
- Your face.
The blemishes.
- You just want to put your best leg forward, that's all.
- Best skinny leg. - Avi, stop.
- [Sheli] Both of you stop.
- Dad, can I be excused?
- You may, yes.
- [Sheli] Well, she does have to watch her figure.
Remember when she went away to summer camp?
- I remember how you like to remind me.
- 15 pounds in three weeks.
15, Matan.
(sighs deeply)
- Wonderful.
(speaking foreign language)
Everyone sends their best to you.
(speaking foreign language)
Of course, everyone wonders how you're doing in America,
whether
are you still a man of religion.
- (speaking foreign language) Khalil, of course.
(speaking foreign language) - Always.
I'm not a teacher or a scholar anymore,
but you may say I'm in private practice.
I write, read, and debate with my family.
My daughter now is the teacher.
(speaking foreign language)
- [Abdul Halim] Right, Nasira?
- Baba's talking to you. - What?
- [Abdul Halim] You are working at the local school.
You are the teacher now.
- Yes, I teach 4th grade, but just for this year.
Can I be excused for a moment?
(speaking in foreign language)
Just for a moment.
(speaking in foreign language)
(knocks on door)
- Nasira? - Yes.
- [Amina] Are you all right?
- Yes. - May I come in?
- Uh-huh.
- I know, okay?
I understand. - There's no way, mom.
There's no way. - Okay.
He's a family friend of your father's.
You have to just be respectful.
Let this play out.
- Okay, respectful, yes, but there will be no playing out.
How could he think this is a real possibility?
- I don't know.
We will talk to him.
Come.
- This is not a good beginning.
- I know.
- As much as possible, I want him to be fully integrated,
you know, doing exactly what the other kids are doing.
- So, you want him to take it at the same time?
- Yeah, yes.
And I was planning on transcribing it into braille.
- Okay, so here's the test.
I might change a few of the questions.
Do you need help transcribing?
- No.
I think I can probably handle it.
Okay.
- Oh, I have to get to the dry cleaner's
before it gets too late.
We could finish preparing at my house.
I mean, if, if
you want to. - Yeah.
- If that's okay. - Yeah, sure.
- Okay. - Okay.
- [Nasira] Sounds like a better way of doing it.
- I don't know, it hasn't worked out so well yet.
The shadchan, that's what she's called,
she's supposed to really know you,
find who's most compatible.
- Which is better than your father.
- I guess we'll see.
- Plus, you get to go on actual dates
and see what it's like, you know,
without your family there breathing down your neck.
- The neighbors might give us strange looks,
but why not, right?
- Yeah.
Big family.
- Yeah.
God blessed us,
or my parents.
- How many kids do you want to have?
- Who knows?
I guess we'll see.
You?
- It depends.
I mean, it's tough in New York
because you need a lot of money, you know?
I could be happy with two.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- I thought the
the Muslims
don't use, um...
- What?
Birth control?
Some do.
- Would you?
- Hi!
So, I saw your aunt--
- Mom, I just wanted to introduce Nasira.
She teaches at my school.
- Oh.
- Hi.
I teach fourth grade.
- She came over to prep.
We're giving a test tomorrow.
- Oh, okay.
Has your father come home yet?
- No.
- Okay, good.
Can I talk to you a second in the kitchen?
- Just a sec.
- You should have asked your father first.
- Why?
There could be repercussions, neighbors might see.
- The neighbors are busybodies.
- Exactly, exactly my point.
- We work together.
She's a friend from school, that's it.
- All right, fine, fine.
Then I think you should ask her to leave
and talk to your father before she comes back.
- What do you mean--
- I didn't want to mention this,
but this could hurt your prospects.
- That's ridiculous. - Perhaps it is, but it could.
I'm sorry.
Talk to your father.
- She doesn't feel comfortable with me being here, right?
- Yeah.
- Should we have a unity circle in the kitchen?
- I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
- Don't be.
I'll see you tomorrow.
(doorbell rings) - Who was that?
Hi, is your mother home?
- Mom, Nina's here to talk about my diminished prospects.
- Who was that? - Nobody.
- What's wrong with her? - Nothing, nothing's wrong.
You want something to drink, eat?
Come.
- A glass of tea wouldn't be bad.
- [Sheli] Okay.
(mellow music)
(speaking foreign language)
- Yes, Nasira? - Did you talk to mom?
- Yes
- So?
- You have to be willing to look
past only the physical, Nasira.
There may be a virtue behind bad teeth,
thinning hair, a thick waistline.
- It's not only that, baba,
we have nothing in common.
He's never really lived here.
He's 20 years older than I am.
I'm, I--
What?
- I am not interested in a battle
with you and your mother, believe me.
I simply want the best for you.
I want you to have a loving home, children.
I want you to experience everything
that you have in this house.
Do you find the union between your mother and me
as successful?
- Yes, I do.
- Okay, I want the same for you.
- So, does that mean that he's not?
- He's going back to Syria on Tuesday,
and not with my youngest, most precious daughter.
(speaking foreign language)
Okay?
- Shukran, baba.
(mellow music)
- My name is Lionya Abramov.
I am a big Jew from
Kharkov.
It is city in eastern Ukraina, Ukraine.
- I haven't been on the market for a couple of years.
I've been...
I've been pursuing
a singing career.
- I'm just, you know, I'm just not that comfortable
in these, you know, like this, very, um...
- You can do Fourier analysis on arbitrary groups also.
♪ I ♪
♪ I like you ♪
- I would like to meet girl like my grand-grand-grandmother.
- And then you take the trace of those matrices
and that forms the character group.
- I see myself
more in
cheder or in synagogue, shul,
studying, praying, being good friends,
being sort of mystical dreamer maybe.
- So, the funny thing with these characters is--
♪ Pum, pum, pum ♪
- So, he have wife, my great-great-grandmother,
and she
give him
20 childrens.
10, 10.
- I'm sorry, I'm shvtzing a little bit. (chuckles)
- She working to cleaning house,
to cooking meals, yes?
She does not sleep.
She making
knitting, mittens.
(mellow music)
This is beautiful woman,
and she satisfies the biggest commandment
God send to woman.
Because Jewish woman is luckiest woman in the world.
Because her job is to serve Jewish man.
And so, I would like you, maybe,
because you are very attractive, to serve me.
- Oh, wow.
I love these kind of rugs.
- Thank you, they're from my dad's grandfather.
He was a merchant,
and he traveled all over the middle east.
- Beautiful.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
- Oh no, no, it's okay, she's just reading.
She's studying.
- Yes, it's fine.
- [Nasira] Hi, mama.
This is Rochel, my teacher friend.
- Good to meet you.
Are you two hungry?
Some tea?
- Yeah, sure,
we'll have some-- - No, I can't.
- Oh.
Do you want some water?
Oh.
Oh, baba.
This is Rochel, my teacher friend I was telling you about.
- Welcome.
Good to meet you.
- We're just prepping for school.
- Good.
Good to be prepared.
You remember this evening?
Yes, of course.
Okay.
Mainly weddings.
Yeah, I guess sometimes religious holidays,
but it's a regional thing, it's not all over.
But they have proof of brides
hennaing their hands and feet
as early as, like, 3500 B.C.
- It's very artistic.
How did you learn how?
- From my grandmother.
- You should do it with your students at school.
- That's not a bad idea.
It would be great to see
what Justin would do, right? - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah?
- Hey.
Oh Rochel, this is my brother Ahmed.
Ahmed, Rochel, she teaches with me.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, listen, I'm going over to Hasan's,
and I wanted to know if you want to hang out with Asma.
- Yeah, sure.
- Like, in an hour.
- Okay.
- [Rochel] What time is it?
- I don't know.
There's a clock over there on the desk.
- Oh, is that right?
- It should be.
- Oh my gosh, I have to go.
I totally forgot.
I have to pick up my brother.
- Okay, I'm almost done. - No, no, I'm already late.
We'll have to finish prepping in the morning.
- Okay, that's fine. - I'm sorry.
- It's okay. - Okay.
- All right. (giggling)
Sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
- [Rochel] I am open to all the options.
I mean, I have been.
It's just that
none of them...
There hasn't been that chemistry
that you all talked about,
like when dad came to your door, mom,
and you had that feeling.
- What about the Goldstein boy?
He seemed sweet enough.
What?
- Look, Rochel,
Miriam and I have been matching you
with the best prospects out there.
They have jobs.
They come from good families.
- Rochel, you wanted to finish school, you're finished.
You wanted to get a job, you have one now.
It's time.
This is the time. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is that on your hands, huh?
- It's nothing.
Look,
I don't know what to say.
I mean, it...
It's not working.
If this is the best there is, I'd rather wait.
I'm not interested in dating.
- No. - Whoa.
That is not an option. - No.
- (chuckles) I'm not exactly sure
what this Mr. Perfect looks like to you,
but
in a year,
you're going to be-- - What, too old?
Come on, that's ridiculous. - She's right, Rochel.
Remember the Nussbaum girl?
You don't want to end up an old maid.
- What do you want me to do,
marry someone who, who, who I have no interest in,
or worse, has no interest in me?
I mean, all these men, they're either totally self-absorbed,
or they can't even hold a normal conversation.
I'm sorry.
I'm not willing to settle.
I am not.
- Seriously, Sheli, what was that on her hands?
What, was that paint?
What, is she painting in school?
- I don't know. - Huh?
- I don't know anything. - Talk to me.
- I don't know.
- Two hours.
Two at the most.
Definitely by 5:00, yes.
Yes, I promise.
Okay so I'm going to call a car,
and I'll pick you up on the corner.
Okay, thanks so much.
It's part of our tradition.
I've done it before.
Pretty often, actually.
It's just that,
it kind of helps me get perspective.
- Next left?
- Yes, and then right at the light.
- You got it.
- Do you ever think that, um,
maybe it's not going to work out?
I mean, your process is different, right, but,
you know, what if it doesn't?
- It'll work.
- How can you be so sure, though?
I mean,
what if that moment doesn't happen?
My father talks about this indescribable feeling.
- I mean, it worked for our parents, right?
They're happy.
Right?
(gentle music)
- I do respect God's will, and,
and of course, the wisdom of mother and father,
but you also always taught me about trusting my intuition.
What do I do about that?
How do I listen to that?
You get any reception?
- [Nasira] Nothing.
- [Rochel] I guess we should have had him wait.
- [Nasira] Probably, yeah.
- [Rochel] You know, if we walk towards the intersection
I'm sure we can find a cab.
- [Nasira] Yeah.
- What time do you have to be back again?
- Well, they're going to be there at 6:00,
but I have to get dressed to impress,
and that could take hours.
(chuckles)
- You know, I just--
I really want to thank you
for coming today.
I just really appreciate it.
- You're welcome.
(upbeat music)
(speaking foreign language)
I'm,
I'm
very sorry.
I had
an emergency with a friend.
I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.
- It's quite all right.
- What friend?
Why didn't you call?
- From school, Rochel.
- As we explained, Nasira is teaching class four this year.
She's very busy, always preparing.
- Oh, yes, and how is that?
Are the schools here any good?
- Oh, um,
I mean, I'd definitely say it's a challenge.
My classroom is like a little UN.
There's kids from all over the world.
- Refill their tea, Nasira. - Yes, of course.
- [Jamil's Mother] Jamil was part of the model UN
in high school,
but decided engineering was a better choice in college,
as a career focus.
- [Jamil's Father] Yes, they're always sought after,
engineers.
- A good choice, Jamil.
- Lowest unemployment rate of any profession, doctors even.
And close to the top in starting salaries.
- Mom, it's, uh-- - What?
These are the facts.
- Ahmed is studying computer engineering
in Brooklyn college.
- Another good choice.
These boys of ours,
one day they will be able to support us
in our old age. (laughing)
(speaking foreign language)
- [Jamil's Mother] Just one more semester,
and he will receive his Master's.
Virginia Tech.
- A very good program, I've heard.
- [Jamil's Mother] In the top three in his field of study.
Two last year, three this year.
- Okay, mom, that's enough.
She can't help herself,
is totally obsessed with the college rankings,
even though I'm the
last of her children in university and almost finished.
- [Jamil's Mother] Grandchildren.
There will be grandchildren! (laughing)
(speaking foreign language) (banging on door)
- Rochel, please open this door.
Rochel.
Rochel, you have to call your aunt.
What kind of reputation will this family have after this?
Rochel, please, Rochel!
- [Avi] Are you gonna have to break it down?
- [Sheli] This is, this is not good
for your father's health.
I don't bring this up
to add pressure or guilt, but the doctor says
your father's blood pressure is elevated,
dangerously elevated.
- Should I get dad to come break it down?
- Avi, this is the last time.
Rochel?
- Mom, if you don't stop I'm going to leave the house.
- Leave the house, what do you mean, leave the house?
I want you to call your aunt. - I'm not doing this anymore.
Okay, it's not working, I'm taking a break.
- So, what?
So your sister pays the price and has her, yes.
She has her chances ruined
because she has to wait until you feel ready?
No,
no.
Two spinsters in this house?
Absolutely not.
Matan?
Matan, can you come help me with this, please?
- [Matan] What?
- Your daughter.
She's being selfish.
She's not thinking of her family.
She is not considering the bigger picture.
Where are you going?
Where are you going, Rochela?
Rochel, wait!
Matan!
Matan, Matan, go after her!
You've go to talk some sense into her, please, go, go now.
- Did she say where she's going?
- Maybe to that Muslim girl's house.
I saw them together.
- Muslim girl, what? - No, don't worry.
Just please go, Matan, go.
- [Rochel] Hi, Leah?
Yeah, hi, it's your cousin Rochel from Ditmas.
Hi.
Yeah, I'm wondering, are you home?
I was wondering if I could come and talk to you.
Yeah, I can be there in, like, 30 minutes.
Okay.
Okay, great.
Bye.
(bell buzzes) (gentle music)
- So, don't cave in to the pressure then.
You don't have to.
There's
another life, another reality if you want it.
They gave me the same shit when I...
Wait, how old are you now? - 22.
- Yeah, I was even younger.
It started when I was 20.
You can step out,
get a different perspective, then decide
where and how you want to fit in.
- But how many go back, though?
I mean,
you didn't. - And I have no regrets.
- You don't miss the family?
- Sometimes.
Of course, but...
I love my life.
I love
my friends, my Jewish and non-Jewish friends,
my gay friends, my black friends, and I love my work.
I would miss this life too much if I was stuck in Ditmas
with five kids and a Torah-obsessed husband.
Look, my friend Eduardo is having a party tonight.
Maybe you want to come along,
step into this world for a minute and see how it feels?
- Okay. (chuckles nervously) - Good.
You want to borrow something to wear?
- No.
- You can stay as long as you want or need.
Know that.
Okay?
(hip-hop music) (people chatting)
♪ 719 to the 7-1-8 ♪
♪ Some love the love and some love the hate, saying ♪
♪ Brenda ♪
♪ Some keep fears in plain ♪
- Hey, I'm Matthew.
Matt Cohen.
Oh, I am sorry, I am so sorry.
You must be Leah's cousin.
Can't do the handshake thing, right?
- In certain circumstances, it's, um--
- Well, it's nice to meet you anyhow.
I'm really sorry about that.
- Oh, it's okay.
- Hey, what did you say your name was again?
- Rochel. - Sorry?
- Rachel. - Ah, right.
So, you're in from out of town or...
- I guess, yes, sort of.
Ditmas Park.
Do you know it?
- Of course, I have cousins that live near there.
- Oh.
- Orthodox also. - Oh, very nice.
- Unfortunately, I don't get to see them very often.
(speaking foreign language)
Your drink.
I learned how to make them when I was living in Brazil, and
let me tell you,
if you've never tried a cocktail,
this might be the time.
They're really good.
(hip hop music)
So, what's the verdict?
- It's very nice.
Is it very strong?
(chuckles)
(upbeat salsa music)
Oh, no, no, no, I can't, really, no.
- I'm sorry, I really can't hear you.
- No, I can't--
- The music is just way too loud.
(upbeat salsa music)
- Hey.
- Come on in. - Want some?
(upbeat salsa music)
- Hey, it was really nice meeting you.
I hope I run into you again.
Are you okay to get home to Leah's?
- Excuse me. - See you.
(mellow music)
- I don't know, I just
don't think I can do it anymore.
- Something will work out.
God will show a way, we both still believe that, right?
It um...
Well, I think there's a possibility
with the one I just met.
- What?
- I don't know.
I was there late.
It could have been a total disaster, but um,
but I think there's something there.
I'm not totally sure. - Oh my gosh.
I totally forgot to ask.
What was he like?
- Well, I pretended I was getting a call, and I took this.
I think he noticed.
- He's handsome, looks smart. - Yeah, he is.
He's getting a Master's in engineering,
but he doesn't come across like a total brainiac, you know?
So, and he has teeth, which is a good thing
'cause the other one didn't. (laughing)
- Hey, you two, too much laughing here.
Hey, Jess, cool it!
Come on, kids.
I thought your religions didn't allow you
to enjoy life, I'm kidding.
I'm really glad you two became such good friends.
So, how's the love lives?
Any bulletins, any hot prospects?
- No, no, nothing to report, I'm sorry.
We're actually forbidden to think about men
unless they ride in on horseback and sweep us off our feet
and steal us from our father-dominated homes.
- Okay, well, all I have to say is inshallah to you,
and Halevi to you. - Oh, very good. very good.
- Okay, see you later, and watch those kids.
Don't let them get hurt. - Okay.
(laughing)
- Yeah.
- I have 13 possibilities and she's met with nine of them.
- I told you it was nine. - Nine, okay, I thought eight.
- Nine.
And if she doesn't want to meet with the rest,
I'm not sure how to proceed.
- She just hasn't...
She just hasn't been happy with any of them.
- Well, I'm not holding back.
These are the best prospects I have.
Most girls would be happy.
I don't want to say anything, but maybe it's her.
- [Sheli] Meaning what?
- Well, she is particular.
Maybe we need to tell her
that Mr. Perfect might not actually exist.
- Mr. Perfect?
What exactly did she tell you she's hoping for?
- What we all wanted, no?
Someone caring,
a good listener
someone who can provide,
a good father.
- So,
do I keep on scheduling?
- No.
No, not until we can convince her
to be open to doing it again.
Otherwise the whole thing might backfire.
She's stubborn.
Comes from her father's side of the family.
- Hey, guys.
Man of all our dreams, right?
You girls coming tonight?
- What's going on?
- CPR training, you should have gotten an email.
- Oh, I can't make it, but I'm already certified.
I think it lasts, like, a couple years, right?
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
Well, maybe I'll see you later, Nasira.
- Okay, yeah.
- He's pretty cute, huh?
Nice eyes, nice smile.
A good Jewish boy.
- Mr. Perfect, you think?
- Probably as close as it comes.
So, what about your Mr. Perfect?
Well...
Actually, he came up this weekend.
He was visiting some friends,
or at least that's what he said.
- And you saw him?
So?
Well, um...
He kind of touched me.
- He touched you?
Touched you how?
- No, no, no, not like that at all, no.
As he was leaving, we'd had,
we'd had dinner with my family,
and as we were walking him out,
his arm sort of brushed up against mine.
- Like, like deliberately brushed up?
- Yeah, I think so.
Anyway,
it was like an electric shock went up my arm
and then straight down my spine.
It was so intense.
Look, I have to meet my brother at Brooklyn college.
Do you want to come?
- Yes, anything, anything to get out of the house right now.
The pressure is too much.
- I'm so sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, well, the guilt slinging is in full force.
My mother keeps telling me that
my father's blood pressure is too high on my account.
Elevated.
- Yeah, they like to use that card, right?
That's a universal.
- Do you think we will when we're mothers?
- Probably, but only in emergency situations
like this one, you know? - Of course. (laughing)
- Throughout his life? - Yeah.
- Whole life? - Yeah, sure.
Oh, hey, one second, okay? - Yeah.
- That's the right one, right?
- Yeah, thanks. - Okay.
You remember Rochel?
- Yeah, hi. - Hi.
Listen, I gotta get back.
We got a presentation.
- Okay. - Okay.
(gentle music)
- What about him? - Who?
- [Nasira] You know who.
Wasn't he orthodox? - Yes.
- He seemed really nice, and I saw him looking at you.
- He was probably just thinking it was strange
that I was walking around with a Muslim.
- No, that wasn't the look.
- He might be fine, he might be perfect,
but I could never bring him home
or approach him or even meet him.
It has to go through the shadchan, or some family member.
- So, tell me more again about her.
I mean, is that, like, all she does?
- Yes, I mean, she has a family.
- What's her name?
I mean, does she, like, advertise in the yellow pages?
- [Rochel] No, it's much less formal than that.
Her name is Miriam.
- [Nasira] Miriam.
Miriam what?
- [Rochel] Stern.
Why?
Are you interested in finding an orthodox man now?
- Yeah, in case Jamil doesn't work out.
- This is not some kind of witchcraft.
She's a pious woman who'll help your prayers be answered.
Come on, Rochela.
We're already late.
Come, come, come.
(praying in foreign language)
- This is good.
No head, no body on this one.
It means the ayin is gone,
Ayin hara exploded.
Poof.
This technique only work with new ayin hara.
If it were more deeper,
more stronger we would have had to do the,
the raw egg around the head maybe.
No.
No, no, no, this is good.
40 day,
40 day.
Something happen.
If not, you come back.
There.
(chuckling)
- Yeah? - Hey.
- Yeah?
- You know that guy from the library,
the orthodox Jew in your study group?
- Oh, Gideon.
- Yeah, what's his deal?
- Deal? - What's he like?
- Smart guy, nice guy, shy.
- Do you think that you could take a picture of him
and get his resume,
because I think he would be great for my friend Rochel.
- No, definitely not.
- Why not?
- Because I'm not gonna mess with his business,
like I expect him not to mess with mine.
- Oh, come on. - No.
Besides, I think he's dating someone.
I saw him at a cafe with some woman last week, so, sorry.
(gentle music)
(suspenseful music)
- Hi, excuse me.
I'm taking a journalism class,
and we're interviewing different people
of different religious faiths,
and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?
- Oh, like, right now?
- Yeah.
- How long is it going to take?
- It's not long.
- Okay, sure.
- Great.
What's your full name?
- Gideon Horowitz.
- Okay, and can you tell me what your religion is?
- I'm Jewish, orthodox Jewish.
- Good.
Are you married?
- No.
- Great!
Very good.
Are you dating?
Are you going to get married?
- Yes, but we have a very specific way in which it happens.
- Right, with the shadchan and everything, right, the yenta?
- Yeah.
- What are you looking for in a woman?
- Looking?
- [Rochel] So, was it strange
to go and dance with your family?
- [Eddie] Nah, I kinda think it was cool, actually.
I like doing it.
It's fun to dance and everything.
- [Rochel] Oh, that's so great.
I'm proud of you. - Thanks.
I fit in.
I dance pretty good too.
Test me. (laughing)
- Hi, guys. - Hi.
- Hey, what's up, Principal Jacoby?
- Lots, Eddie, always lots up.
- We're just heading to PE class.
- Good.
What's that?
- What?
- That, on your wrist.
- Oh,
it's nothing.
- Yeah, I felt that too, Miss Rachel.
What, are you in love or something?
- No, it's, it's, it's nothing.
- I know what it is, Rochel.
My great-grandmother used to do stuff like that
when she lived in the ghetto in eastern Europe.
- Well, hold up.
They got ghettos in Europe? - Yep, they do.
Come on, Rochel, you're more sophisticated than that.
The evil eye?
- That protects you from the evil eye?
Yeah, we do that too.
My great aunt, Tia Tiana, does that stuff in Puerto Rico.
We healed my cousin when he was sick with leukemia.
- You see?
That's the kind of superstitious nonsense
we try not to teach in this school.
I mean, it's so in the past. - The past?
Will you, um...
Eddie, jut step right here for one second, okay?
Why does traditional have to equal nonsense to you?
How is this any less valid or meaningful
than all the other teachers
reading their horoscopes every day at lunch?
- Oh, please, they do it for fun.
they don't
believe it for one second. - Yes, they do, yes, they do.
And, you know, why is
getting drunk
and sleeping with some guy you don't even know
a better way of finding love?
How is that more liberated than how we do it?
- You know I am not talking about that.
You know I am talking about having a choice in life.
- I have a choice! - A choice in career,
- I have a choice! - a choice in who you love!
- The community has a choice!
It's different, yes, but I have a say.
- Come on, Miss Rachel.
We're gonna be late for class.
You didn't take no shit from her.
- Eddie. - I'm just saying.
You did the right thing.
(upbeat music)
- Miriam Stern?
- Yes.
- Hi, I know we don't know one another,
I recently moved into the area,
but I have some information here
about the Rochel Meshenberg case.
- Case?
- Right, for, for as an option.
I have to run, but I've included my cell number inside
just in case you need to get in touch with me.
- I didn't get your name.
Are you related to Lois Zatz?
- Well, it's all there inside.
I'm sorry, I have to run to meet my family.
- The Horowitz boy.
Not a bad idea.
Not bad.
(mellow music)
- What are you so happy about?
- Because it's a happy day.
- It is? Why?
- It is indeed, and I bet you know why.
Go into the living room.
Come on.
Nasira, go. (giggling)
- Sit down, Nasira,
Both of you.
- Hi. - Hi.
- How did your exams go? - Great.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
- Jamil came to ask a question that pertains to you,
to all of us, our families, but particularly to you.
His family were traveling and were unable to be here.
Perhaps you already know this.
Perhaps you two have been emailing or
talking on the computer, whatever it is you do.
- Perhaps.
- I'm sure you have,
and it's fine with me.
I simply wanted to let you know
that you and Jamil
have my blessings,
the blessings of your mother and me.
We are delighted.
Mabrouk.
- Shukran, baba.
(gentle music)
(speaking foreign language)
(laughing)
- [Elona] She usually doesn't do this,
house calls. - Of course, she doesn't.
- But she didn't have time in her regular schedule
and of course,
this situation doesn't look good for her either.
(doorbell rings)
Is she okay?
(sighing)
- Hi. - Hi.
- Thank you for coming. - No problem, no problem.
Okay, I don't have a lot of time.
I have three more possibilities
and of course,
the five that were on the table when we stopped.
I'm in the process of updating my system
to include photographs.
Sometimes this helps.
If you just despise the way someone looks,
you can't imagine sitting through even one date
looking at this person, then that's that, good.
But it's really more to remind you,
because maybe you met this person in school,
maybe you met them at summer camp.
It sparks memories.
It gives you something to discuss at the first meeting.
Okay.
Leonard Rosen.
Lenny.
I'm scheduling something with him.
- Rochel, you know his sister Sylvia.
- Yeah.
- [Miriam] It's a strange story
how this boy ended up in my book.
Last week a Sephardic woman comes to my door--
- Sephardic? - Yes, at my front door.
And she just hands me this information.
Strange woman.
Anyway, he's an interesting possibility.
- Yes.
I, I mean--
I like this new system, to be able to see
who they are a little more.
It's nice.
- You know him?
This, what is his, what?
You know this Gideon Horowitz? - No,
I just think he has a,
a nice face.
A kind face, right?
- And an honor student, computer science, that's good.
(gentle music)
- I didn't even know she had my information, your shadchan.
Not that I really understand how it all works anyhow.
- But you do remember,
I saw you that day at the library, right?
- Very clearly, of course.
- I was with that Muslim woman.
- I remember, well, not her so much, but you I remember.
It was a very high point during a difficult semester.
Really, I was basically living at the library, so,
seeing someone like you--
- What, so it could have been any orthodox girl?
- No, no, of course not.
- Well, anyway,
that Nasira, the Muslim woman, she teaches with me,
and her brother was in your study group.
- Ahmed? - Yeah.
- That was his sister? - Yes.
- She told me she was taking a journalism class.
- When?
- A couple days later she stopped me,
interviewed me, had all these questions written down.
- That doesn't...
(chuckles)
- What?
- Anyway, it doesn't matter, right?
- No.
No, I'm just glad that we met.
Honestly,
this is the first time that I've been out with someone
and not felt all nervous and awkward.
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
(gentle music)
- Mazel tov. - Mazel tov.
- And when I think that my eldest daughter
is going to be marrying such a wonderful young man,
joining such a family, it fills me with joy, profound joy.
- [Avi] And hopefully it lowers your blood pressure.
- [Sheli] Avi, shush.
I'm sorry, he's a little bit excited.
We all are.
- And hopefully it lowers my blood pressure.
Thank you, Avi.
- L'chaim. - L'chaim.
(gentle music)
- [Nasira] Of course, they would have preferred boys.
- [Rochel] Naturally, you want what you know best.
- [Nasira] Right, and there's the whole machismo factor,
family name and all that. - Right.
But it's better this way. - Mm-hmm, definitely.
- Plus, have you noticed how men with older sisters
are much better adjusted? - Yes, I have.
And they're more sensitive. - I know, because
they grew up being bossed around, so, they're used to it.
Makes them better men. (laughing)
- Right.
And better husbands. - Definitely better husbands.
Gideon has two older sisters. - Oh.
Jamil only has one, but she is no joke.
- They're putty in our hands, huh?
- Yeah.
We can shape them into whatever we want.
(upbeat music)