♪
The success of the James Bond films
has made household names out of actors playing Agent 007.
Bond.
The name's Bond.
James Bond.
Except for one.
The forgotten James Bond.
♪
George Lazenby went from being a car salesman
in Queanbeyan in the 1960s
to playing 007.
Is it true that, as I think you put it yourself once,
you told a pack of lies to get the role?
♪
And now it's our great joy
to welcome the new James Bond.
♪
Now this is a fascinating situation, isn't it?
Because you've, what,
you've refused to do a second Bond?
♪
(light clicks)
So you're gonna tell me your story.
I'm wondering what can I expect from it?
Drama?
Do I have drama about what?
In your life story that I'm gonna ask you.
Is there drama?
What do you mean "is there drama"?
-There's drama all my life. -Is there romance?
-Huh, yes. -Is there romance?
-Is there comedy? -Yes.
Sex?
A little.
Drugs?
Drugs, yeah, a little.
-Violence? -A little.
Are there twists and turns?
-Yes. -Is it a good story?
Oh, well, it depends
if you like those kind of stories, you know?
♪
Well, it all started, my life,
from what I remember,
being in hospital.
Scalpel.
♪
Hold that, hold that.
When I was three years old...
Oh shit, he's awake!
Shh, go back to sleep.
...they found that I was peeing backwards
into my kidneys.
♪
They opened me up 67 times.
I was left with half a kidney.
♪
My doctors told my mother that I'd probably pass away
around 12.
♪
Maybe 13.
I suppose, subconsciously,
there was a part of me that said I better get on with life
because who knows?
It could be over any time.
♪
The first time I ever stole a car
I was six years old.
♪
I think I said to myself,
"I better make the best of the time that I do have."
♪
And my dad never had a car
because we were a poor family.
But my uncle used to drive a '36 Ford.
And I mean, I loved that thing.
He'd always left his keys in it.
Crikey.
And I had to get underneath the dashboard...
(engine roars to life)
♪
...and then I'd stand up
and let the clutch out.
♪
Then it would kangaroo hop.
♪
(horn honks)
♪
That's how it was.
♪
I was a larrikin.
I was a wild larrikin
doing whatever I liked
and I'd been that way forever.
(school bell rings)
Hurry up, kids, take your seats.
Settle down.
Pencils out.
♪
So, as I was saying,
science is all around--
Yeah, no one expected much of anything from me.
George.
Pay attention!
I didn't see the point in school.
So this island here is where we live.
School was so boring.
So boring.
You know, it was, like,
"God, I gotta learn this geography thing."
China and Russia and Hungary and the Ukraine.
I had no use knowing where England was
or where America was,
I was in Australia
and I wasn't going there.
And the largest clouds are called
the cumulonimbus clouds.
Science, who gives a shit about science?
Yes, what is it, George?
Is this gonna be relevant to my life?
♪
You know, that was my attitude.
George Lazenby, outside right now.
♪
The vice headmaster, Chook Warner.
He hated me.
♪
Now, put out your hands palms down.
He would cane me for no reason frankly.
Quickly now.
"Who did this?
Who brought the snake to school?
I bet you Lazenby did it.
Come out outside."
Because I did and I brought a snake to school one day.
♪
I had to find ways to get me through the day, you know?
Like possibly causing a little bit of trouble.
The sun and it's all part of the life cycle--
One girl noticed it.
(screaming)
Wasn't gonna hurt anyone.
Another day I brought a bag full of bats.
Time for school, bats!
I went down the sewers
and got a whole bag full of bats.
I put them in my school bag
and then I opened the bag
and they flew in the daylight.
It was so much fun.
People screaming, yelling, and running everywhere.
Children, try to remain calm!
(chuckling)
It was worth getting the cane that day.
(engine revving)
♪
You know, to be honest with you,
the things I was interested in
were pranks and having fun.
But when I turned 15,
things changed.
I can remember one morning
riding down the hill on my bike,
there was a girl sunbaking on the lawn
around the corner from my place.
♪
June Green.
She was 23 and I was 15.
She had a fascinating body.
♪
So I stopped the bike
and pretended something was wrong with it.
Okay, what is the problem here?
Tire pressure seems fine.
-I was fiddling with it... -Might be the gas cap.
...you know, and looking at it.
I had no idea how to approach a girl at that time.
Might be this thing here.
♪
And she finally said,
"What are you looking at?"
And I said, "Oh, my bike's broken down."
Um, my bike's broken down.
Uh...
can I come in, you got any tools?
♪
Yeah, okay.
(tools clattering)
♪
Next thing I know, I'm on top of her.
This is fun.
Yeah?
Oh yeah, okay.
-Okay. -Cool.
-Is that right? -And we were dry rooting
on the kitchen floor.
Wait, what's dry rooting?
That's doing it with your clothes on.
♪
My arms are starting to get tired a little bit.
I had no idea what I was doing.
-You okay? -Uh, uh, my pants
are bunching up a little bit.
Eventually, she invited me down at night.
All right.
And I can remember when we made love for the first time.
♪
And it was fantastic.
♪
And all of a sudden something took over my body.
♪
I was, like, in space and it was magnificent.
The best feeling I've ever had in my life.
(explosion)
-I went, "Holy shit." -Holy shit.
What?
I thought I'd blown my penis apart.
I got out of the car
and struck a match and checked it out
to see everything was still there.
♪
Are you okay?
Yeah, we're good.
My penis is fine.
And then I couldn't wait to get back in the car
and have another one.
I ended up going down to her place every night.
Why isn't everyone doing this all the time?
-Shut up! -Okay.
Until the school teacher wrote a letter to my family
that I couldn't keep my eyes open during class.
♪
Michelle Cunningham.
(applause)
Michael Dickens.
Well, there's a hall in Queanbeyan
called the Masonic Hall
and that's where all the kids go
to graduate high school
and you get an intermediate certificate.
Sarah Kinsworth.
My mother came with me
and I thought it's a given,
everybody was getting one.
Brendan O'Connor.
Very rarely someone doesn't get
an intermediate certification.
Andrew Lange.
Finally, after about an hour...
And George Lazenby...
did not graduate.
To the 1954 class of Goulburn,
congratulations and farewell.
♪
I was the only one in the whole hall
that didn't get a certificate.
♪
I'm thinking, "Jesus,
couldn't even get an intermediate certificate."
♪
I mean, I knew I wasn't gonna be a public servant
or a lawyer or a doctor
or anywhere I thought you might need an education.
♪
It's embarrassing.
I didn't give a damn about the certificate
but it was the embarrassment of not getting one
that was hurting.
♪
If you didn't graduate high school,
you had to redo the same class over again for a year.
And I wasn't about to do that.
So my uncle helped me out and got me a job as a mechanic.
There was no money in it.
I got paid very poorly.
Look at this thing.
You're gonna look amazing going down the street in it.
Imagine it; here, come on, sit down, sit down.
Look, you can look out at the stars...
And one day, I saw the car salesmen
were having much more fun than us mechanics.
Mount myself on this hood,
then I'll mount you on the hood.
I'd look out from underneath the car
and I'd see the guys chatting up the girls and...
Of course I come with the car.
I can come, I can sit in the backseat the entire time.
We can both sit in the backseat if you'd like.
...going to work in a suit,
going to nice places for lunch,
you know, having a car to drive
-and I'm thinking... -What am I doing under here?
♪
So I said to the boss,
"I want to be a car salesman."
♪
But then I couldn't sell anything.
No, I saw this old girl in the shop
and worked on her more than most actually
but, um, fair bit of room in the back.
I can tell you like that.
And, uh, you guys up to date with your tetanus shots?
I would, I'd get ahead of the game there.
Look on the bright side,
it comes in a bunch of different colors.
-What do you say? -I don't think so.
Yeah.
Yeah, you don't want to rush into a decision like this
but, um, I'll be here if you change your mind.
♪
I was hopeless.
I couldn't sell a bloody car.
♪
Comes in a few different colors.
♪
One guy there who'd come out of university,
-Johnny Horton. -It's all yours!
Here's the keys.
Congratulations, beautiful!
He was selling 30 a month
and he knew nothing about cars.
Don't forget to tell your friends,
Johnny Horton.
♪
(gunshots)
(blows softly)
(musical flourish)
That used to piss me off.
Oh, shit.
Finally, the boss had an idea.
He sent me down to Melbourne
to a "How To Win Friends and Influence People" course.
And the only thing I can remember learning
was "Listen, don't talk."
Listen to them, see what they're interested in,
and then only talk about that.
Don't bother with the car.
Listen, don't talk.
I started listening to the customers...
So anyway, I was saying to my friend,
it's gotta be the other leg
but then Rhonda says to me,
"What about the paintings?"
And then suddenly I realized
I'm totally out of gas and my pet turtle Shelly
needs to use the toilet.
Anyways, I'll take that one.
So, Shelly, she's in a mood.
One time she almost took off my pinky finger.
But you know what?
Pulled it back, gave her a carrot,
all was well.
(laughing)
God, what a twist.
(laughing)
My sales went up to 30 a month.
Excellent choice, sir.
All right, you're gonna love it.
And so, the boss now knew that I knew about cars
and I also could sell them.
Next thing, he promotes me to used car salesman.
♪
(car horn honking)
The embassy people had to get rid of their cars
and they'd come to me, I was the embassy guy.
Au revoir.
Dasvidaniya.
♪
Ta-ta, Raju.
My love to the wives.
There's no way that I would have known it at the time
but getting out from underneath that car
was putting me one step closer to becoming James Bond.
Tell your friends to stop by, say hi.
George Lazenby, used car manager.
♪
I was feeling good.
Selling cars, going to embassy parties.
♪
-Hey, sport. -I started to get
more sophisticated
and understanding how the classy guys operate.
♪
Champagne, sir?
♪
You don't mind a drop, do you?
And this one night, I was invited to a party
and so I got dressed up in a suit.
♪
There was this one girl there...
♪
...and she stunned me.
♪
Her name was Belinda.
♪
But she was with a boyfriend.
♪
And I followed her around all night,
trying to say something to her alone.
♪
But this guy, he was stuck to her like that.
♪
Caviar, sir?
It's Royal Beluga, north of the Caspian.
I'm good, thanks, mate.
I was trying to get a spot where I could talk to her
but he never left her side.
Even when she went to the bathroom,
he'd wait outside.
♪
And when she was leaving,
I don't know what made me do it, but...
-it just came out of me. -Excuse me?
I said, "I'm gonna take you out next week."
You know, I don't know how long I got,
let's get on with it.
I am gonna take you out next week.
And they both looked at me like, "He's a loony,
he's mad."
♪
They didn't say a word, they just left.
♪
So then I found out where she worked
and I called her up and I said,
"I'd like to go out with you."
She said, uh, "I don't go out with strangers, I can't."
And I said, "Well, how about Sunday?"
I can take you out during the day.
And she's working as a dental nurse.
-Uh, uh... -What do you say?
Uh, what's that; I'll be right there.
-Uh, okay. -Okay, great, thanks.
And she just said that to get me off the line.
She rang, I suppose, 20 times to cancel
and I told all the guys,
"If she rings, I'm not here," you know?
Because I knew she'd do that.
♪
So I show up at her place on Sunday.
♪
As soon as I got there...
(man yelling)
♪
What do you think you're doing, mate?
...and her brother jumps on me
and he's got a headlock on me.
You trying to fuck my sister, huh?
-Your sister? -Yeah, do you wanna know
what it feels like, huh, fuck you, aye?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Yeah, fuck you!
And I'm trying to get this headlock off me.
Oh, come on, now!
Deal with it!
Her mother came out and said...
Greg, get off him.
Sorry, Mum.
♪
Bloody hell.
♪
Just, uh, wait here a moment, love,
I'll get Belinda for you.
Goodo.
I get invited in the house by the mother
and the dad and this other guy
are sitting in the living room...
G'day.
You must be Belinda's dad.
You look just like her.
I'm George.
And I said to the other guy,
"Jesus, mate, you look like Bob Menzies,
the prime minister."
And it was the prime minister of Australia.
(laughing)
It's unbelievable.
Anyone ever told you that?
♪
Oh my God.
♪
-I got you these. -Oh.
Sorry, they're a little roughed up.
Your brother...
Uh...
These are lovely.
♪
I told you I was gonna ask you out.
You did.
And here I am.
Here you are, okay.
Um...
Bye, Dad, bye, Bob.
Let's go.
-What, his name's Bob too? -Of course it is.
-What a coincidence. -What are we doing?
Oh, we're just going up the river for a swim.
Then she said, "Up the river?"
"Yeah, it's a great river up here,
we can go for a swim."
I wanted to get her alone somewhere.
♪
So is this where you take all the girls?
Hey, what kind of guy do you think I am?
No, this place is special to me.
I used to come here when I was a kid.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's nice and private, you know?
We can do pretty much anything.
Can you unzip me?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
So...
shall we?
Well, you don't actually have to go for a swim.
Now, Belinda, hang on.
I thought she'd be too afraid to go in the water.
She just took off in the water.
-Are you coming? -When I said swimming
I didn't think we'd actually...
Come on.
I'm just a little rusty.
Um...oh God.
Go in, go!
Come on, let's go up the river.
-Come on. -And I took off after her
and the fact is,
I was about to quit chasing her
when she stopped
and she told me if I couldn't have kept up with her,
she'd never see me again.
-It's nice, huh? -It's really nice.
♪
So everything was working out.
♪
We started seeing each other.
♪
I had a date with her at night three times
and the third one...
♪
I like your perfume, that's...
-It's really nice. -It smells good.
-Yeah. -Thank you.
I like that.
I'm being nice to her in the car
and she says,
"Are we gonna do it or not?"
♪
Oh God, my heart started going--
I was just doing the right thing,
I didn't wanna blow it.
Um...so, now?
♪
Yeah.
♪
I thought, "This is her.
I'm doing it with her."
And my erection...
...just went down.
And I thought, "Oh my God, what's happening?
This never happened before."
You okay?
Just give me one second, I'm gonna get some fresh air.
Okay.
♪
Go out the next night, the same thing.
And I'd want to spank it, saying,
"What's the matter with you?"
because it had never done it before, you know?
Who are you talking to?
Oh, uh, nobody.
Uh, I'll be there in a minute.
♪
I was too in love with her,
too fascinated with her.
When you're in love,
you're intimidated by these--by the love.
I don't know what it is.
♪
I didn't know what to do.
And she says...
So my boyfriend--
or my ex-boyfriend is coming into town.
And she was gonna go to this Marine ball.
He's invited me to this Marine ball.
♪
-And I said... -You go with him
and I'll never see you again.
♪
-And she said... -I have to go.
♪
Can I tell you a secret?
♪
I didn't get an erection.
So I went to the pub and got totally drunk.
Lock me up and...
Lock me up, throw away the key
because my dick couldn't get hard.
Oh, okay, that's a crime, is it?
That's a crime?
Fuck off!
And I kept thinking about Belinda
and her boyfriend.
Belinda's boyfriend was in the Australian Army.
You can get pretty bored sometimes.
You know, all the guys are 18, 19, 20
so they can get a hard-on at the drop of a hat.
♪
And they have this competition.
They tie the boots together
and then hang them on the penis
and see who can hang the most boots on the penis
before it goes down.
♪
Well, Belinda's boyfriend was famous for winning
that competition.
(cheering)
♪
So I was in a torturous state.
♪
I'm in a torturous state.
And I got so drunk
and my mates wouldn't even talk to me.
♪
And I'm leaning against the bar...
(door opening, bell ringing)
...and all I remember is this white gown
coming through the door.
♪
George?
♪
Next thing I remember
was waking up in the morning.
♪
There was a note.
♪
"You were fantastic.
I've taken the car, I'll see you for lunch."
♪
I was fantastic?
And I don't even remember it
but I was okay from then on.
I was fantastic.
♪
I totally fell in love.
♪
She was the...
My idea of a perfect woman
was her.
♪
My life was changing because she was operating
on a different level than I was.
My family lived day-to-day.
If they had a bad day,
they wouldn't have money for the next day.
She was high society.
Like, her mother's father was governor-general
of New South Wales, lived in a big castle down in Sydney.
I remember we had a trip planned,
it was a black tie, we go to dinner,
and then the father said, "You're not invited, George."
In other words, I had to stay at the house while Belinda went.
And Belinda looked at me and looked at her dad and said,
"I'm not going unless George goes."
So he left us both there.
He saw that I had some control over her.
♪
He didn't like me.
He, in fact, encouraged her to go to London
to get away from me
for three months and see what happens.
I've got the best job that I could imagine,
I've got the girl I wanted in my life,
and the most important thing was her,
and she took my heart and went to England with it.
♪
I thought, "Three months, that's a long time."
Next day, when she was out in the ocean somewhere...
Man, I feel sick, she's gonna--
The salesmen were telling me,
"Girls go crazy when they get out in the ocean."
All my mates.
She's probably got another fill already.
Oh, come on.
♪
We started writing to each other after she left.
I was getting five letters a day.
Then four.
And then three.
And all of a sudden,
no letters.
I was going to the post office.
"Hey, you must be mixed up."
"Uh-uh, we haven't got any letters for you."
I knew that she had someone else,
and I wanted to go over there and get her back.
♪
(boat whistle)
♪
I got on a boat to Tilbury, England,
and I was four levels below water,
in bunks with three other guys from Brisbane.
But the darn thing went around Australia first.
♪
I went to Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth,
Singapore, and then over to Delhi,
and then over to Port Said,
and there's another place further up on the left,
probably it's in a war now, I don't know what it is.
And then we hit Italy, Marseille, and Gibraltar,
and then finally Tilbury.
♪
When I first landed in London,
I expected to see Belinda there.
Every port I pulled into,
I'd write her saying where I am, where I'll be,
telling her how in love I was and everything else.
But here I am with two big suitcases
and no Belinda.
She wasn't there.
I had her address, but there was no one that answered the door.
I waited outside where she lived
until the pubs closed.
I kept going to the pub and coming back,
my suitcases were just left there on the doorstep,
and she didn't come back.
♪
(pounding)
Belinda!
♪
Then I pulled a cab down,
I said, "I need a room, I need a room somewhere."
And the cabbie said, "I know exactly where to take you."
But I had a "g'day, mate," Australian accent...
♪
...so he took me to Earl's Court,
got me a room where you sleep with the doorknob in your mouth,
and it's so bloody small.
I kept thinking about Belinda.
Where is she?
Automatically, my mind's going,
"She's sleeping somewhere with some guy, blah-blah-blah."
♪
(sighs)
'Cause there's no way of finding anybody
in England in those days.
In the '60s, you couldn't find anybody.
You didn't have cell phones,
you didn't have any way of doing it.
Does she look familiar?
♪
I'd come all this way, and she wasn't there.
I'm thinking, "Oh my God, what have I done?
About three months later,
I was in the Earl's Court business club,
and I was alone feeling sorry for myself
when a guy from my hometown said,
"I just saw Belinda down the road in a pub."
I said, "What?"
My heart starts going like this.
♪
And my heart stopped.
There she was, and she's with the whole Oxford cricket team,
and her boyfriend is the captain of the Oxford cricket team,
I found out.
♪
I want to talk to you outside.
And she says, "Whatever you got to say to me,
say to me here."
No, I want to talk to you outside.
You heard what she said.
My fist came out, bang,
even before he got the line out.
I don't know, it was just instinctive.
Hey!
♪
All right, get in.
♪
Went around the other side of the car...
and she jumped out.
And all these cricketers are coming out towards me.
I said, "Oh, shit.
I'm gonna get beat up if I hang out here."
♪
I was confounded,
devastated, lost.
I didn't know what to do.
And then it was only a few weeks later
that I didn't have any money,
and so I went down to where the car dealers are
and I said, "I need a job."
I was almost concluding that this relationship
wasn't meant to be,
and I was going through the withdrawal of that,
and a couple of days later, I got a letter.
She wrote, "We can see each other platonically."
"Platonically," what the hell does that mean?
I think it means emotionally,
like spiritually,
like seeing each other eye-to-eye.
I don't think that's right.
"Platonically"?
Pla--platonically...
-Yeah. -She underlined it.
That's good.
I said, "Well, better than nothing."
She said, "We can see parts of England together."
My lady.
And I went and asked the driver
who delivers cars,
"Where's the furthest car you got this weekend?"
I said, "I'll take it for you, I'll do it for nothing."
Said, "Bristol," which is not a--
it's not a tourist resort.
-Bristol, here we come. -Yeah.
Can't wait, I hear good things.
She said, "I'll go... platonically."
Platonically.
I know what that means.
Always did, didn't have to look it up.
This "platonic" word was starting to bug me.
You look lovely.
Oh, thank you.
We go over there and we're having dinner.
I could smell her.
Here, you're falling behind.
Oh.
Oh, that's--that's fine, thank you.
Finish her off.
It was something else.
You know, just smell and taste and touch
has got a lot to do with who you're with
and how much you love.
God, if it gets any livelier up here,
a funeral's gonna break out.
(laughing)
Tonight was, um,
it's really nice.
It was, wasn't it?
-This is me. -This is me, so...
-Good night. -Good night.
♪
I'll see you in the morning.
-See you in the morning. -Okay.
Okay.
What she didn't know is that I had stolen a key
to her room from the reception desk,
and so I'd just give her time to get tucked in
and be naked, hopefully,
then I'll go to her room
and surprise her.
I'm thinking, "I can't wait to get back with her,
I can't wait."
♪
Next thing, my stomach starts to rumble.
(flatulence)
And I got the worst diarrhea I have ever had.
♪
Every time I walked to the door,
I had to turn around and go back to the bathroom.
Every time I walked to the door.
♪
I just was sick, and then I'd wash myself
and start to go back to the door again.
Nope, nope, you are gonna man up and...
(flatulence)
♪
(mumbling)
♪
I did this about six or seven times.
♪
Wait, six or seven times?
Didn't you think that maybe you should give up after one?
Well, no, I was, you know, bathing myself well
and hoping I could go out.
You know, it'd be embarrassing there
if you were in the middle of it and, uh,
getting brown smoke out of your butt.
♪
(flatulence)
♪
-Oh. -Oh, thank you.
Saw her next morning for breakfast,
and she said to me...
I'd bet anything
you would've tried to get into my room last night.
You've changed.
What can I say?
I have.
♪
This was fun.
Yeah, it was.
Thanks for coming.
I'm very glad that I did.
We were driving back to London,
and we're on the motorway, the M4...
Wow, it's really coming down.
It was a dark night and rainy.
I'll just pull over up here just to be on the safe side.
And I could just see the lights of London,
I said, "I'm gonna do it."
And I went down under the freeway.
♪
Grabbed hold of her.
♪
And we made love.
♪
Afterwards, I was looking at her,
and she was sort of...
up against the window crying.
(sniffling)
♪
Belinda.
♪
Next thing she turns around and comes at me,
and I put my hand up, I thought she was gonna hit me
'cause she was crying.
I love you.
I still love you.
Move in with me.
I can't, my dad would kill me.
♪
He's not gonna be there.
This place isn't big enough.
You'd have had my dad to live with you?
I'd put up with him if you--
Come here.
♪
I love you.
I love you, too.
-Platonically. -Platonically!
♪
Ahh.
I love you so much.
I love you.
All right, I'll see you tonight.
♪
Have a great day, honey!
She moved into my place,
and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
That's why I came to London, was for her.
I'd moved on from a little car dealership
to Mercedes-Benz in Park Lane,
and there was a guy who was a photographer,
Charles Jenkins, he walks in one day
and we're looking at this particular Mercedes, he says,
"Look, I'll tell you what..."
I'll buy this off you
if you let me take some pictures of you.
I said, "Hello, I got a homosexual on my hands."
Why would anyone want to take pictures of a man?
That's how naive I was.
So, I sent Belinda along.
Then he comes back to me,
he took pictures of her 'cause he's polite...
No, you fool, I want to take some pictures of you.
I said, "What are you talking about?"
I didn't know there was such a thing as male models.
I just thought people took pictures of people smoking
or on horses or whatever, that's how it happened.
He said, "You're in."
You know, they're looking for men like you.
You know, rugged guys.
Rugged guys are in now.
Really?
-Huh. -Yeah.
Oh, George, you look fabulous.
Let's have another one.
Oh, you were born to do this.
What do you call them, head faces?
These are your head shots, darling.
-Head shots? -Head shots, of your face.
He says, "There's a lot of money in it.
Take these pictures down to Scotty's Modeling Agency
in Bond Street."
I thought, you know, it was a waste of time,
but what the hell?
(chuckling)
♪
So I waited there half my lunch hour.
They didn't come out to see me.
They knew I was there, but they didn't come out.
So I just threw 'em up in the air and walked out.
♪
The next thing, they call me.
Said, "You've gotta get up to Times Building straight away.
Bert Stern, one of the biggest photographers in the world,
wants to use you."
He had lost the male model he was working with
'cause the babies he was working with
were above his head and he was holding them
and they were all peeing on him,
and after the third one, he said, "To hell with this,"
and walked out.
Next thing I know, I've got the job.
Smile, smile at this enfant, smile.
He's a cute little kid, eh?
You know, I thought, "Well, it's a job, what the hell?"
You are doing very well, George, very well.
Ooh, um, you're about to burst, aren't you?
Oh, yeah.
Then they peed at me, too.
I'd just duck it and dive it, and, you know,
I didn't get upset, you know, I was just dodging baby piss.
Ugh, what have you been feeding this baby?
(spitting)
Well guess what happened, it came out three months later
and everybody wants me.
W-wait, I want to pause there.
How much of this story that you've told me is true?
-Which one? -The whole story.
Hey, how can I remember it if it wasn't true?
♪
♪ There'll be a change in the weather ♪
♪ And a change in the sea ♪
I became one of Europe's top models, male models, overnight.
So I'm booked up seven days a week.
I had to give up my job.
Yes, I'll just, uh,
grab the old...
putting wedge.
I'm sophisticated.
I didn't know anything about modeling, I just--
I didn't even know where the camera was.
I mean, I don't even know what the hell I'm advertising here.
The whiskey or the chair?
And then this job came along that's called "Big Fry,"
the biggest commercial project in London at the time.
Big Fry comes into town, boom-boom,
with a big box of chocolates.
♪ Big Fry's are comin' by ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Big Fry ♪
It was fun.
They hired little people around me,
so most people thought I was seven foot tall
or eight foot tall, so they didn't really recognize me.
I mean, I used to see things like
"I'd like to meet Big Fry" written on toilet walls.
My life was on the up and up.
I'd just settled with my girlfriend,
and we're all happy and everything.
Then I was asked to go on a job down to Spain
with three beautiful girls.
♪
Oh, it's a party!
♪
All right!
♪
So the first night I'm there,
there's this girl, she's from Germany,
her name was Gundel.
She was one of Germany's top models,
and she was a stunner.
Is something the matter?
Uh, no, no, not at all.
In fact, everything is perfect.
It is, isn't it?
I'm thinking, "Oh, God,
I'm in trouble."
Eyes up here, George.
Uh, yeah.
Please, stay focused.
♪
George, could you pass me a banana?
♪
Not that one.
The bigger one.
♪
Mmm.
♪
We worked together for two weeks and I behaved myself.
Then I'm at the airport to go to London,
and she came up to me and she said,
"I'm going to see my mother in Minorca.
Would you like to come?"
I was shocked, I said,
"But my bag, my bag's going to London."
And she said...
Oh, too bad.
♪
I never saw that bag again.
♪
I just called Belinda and said I'll be--
I've been extended a week.
♪
And she said, "Okay, I'll see you in a week."
♪
And when I got back...
♪
...she, uh, she knew that I'd been with someone else.
♪
She was smart.
♪
I cried over her before,
when I couldn't find her.
Then when I found her
and just living out your fantasy with her,
doing what you thought you might've done.
♪
Then I think the picture changed in my mind, you know,
in the subconscious mind.
(door closing)
♪
I was being untrue to the girl I was living with, loving.
♪
I was sad.
♪
So that was the end of Belinda.
♪
(rain pouring)
So Belinda moved out,
lived with her father who was in London at the time.
And it's a strange thing,
you'd think that I'd be broken-hearted for years.
♪
But it was a different era.
It was make love, not war.
And I was a young, 24-year-old,
crazy Australian,
and girls were--not all girls, but some were attracted to it.
It was the craziest sexual time that I'd ever had.
♪
The women in the '60s were just as sexual-orientated
as the men, and they were breaking out.
♪
G'day, mate, Ken, male model/actor.
-Good to meet you. -I was modeling in Germany
and I met a guy called Ken Gaherity,
who was a fellow Australian model.
We got to know each other fairly well
through mainly women.
So, uh, what are you doing after work?
-Oh, um... -Yeah, well, Ken and I
were just thinking about having a get-together at our place.
Yeah, a little Truth or Dare?
Here's how it works, we'd truthfully tell you
that we want to make love with you,
and then we dare you to do it.
I'd pull the women off the street
and I'd take 'em into Ken's place, and...
♪
Next thing you know, we got a threesome going.
♪
We did this dozens of times,
and it was sometimes two or three times a day.
No, you're not quite getting it, say it with me.
"G'day."
G'day.
Yeah, you know, you've got a very... talented tongue,
I can tell.
There was this one day I picked up a girl
at King's Road.
I said to her, "Come up,
we gotta meet a friend of mine, have a cup of tea."
-Sure. -All right.
And we're sitting up there having a cup of tea,
and then she said, "Well, I've gotta go now."
No, no, you shouldn't go anywhere.
-Why? -And Ken said,
"I put acid in your tea.
And I put it in yours, too, George."
(laughing)
What's that?
And I didn't know what acid was.
He goes, "LSD.
Haven't you ever heard of it?"
He's not the sort of guy you could trust.
It makes walls melt,
your brain feel like it's on fire.
♪
What are you three talking about?
♪
-I weigh a thousand pounds. -(laughter)
♪
I weigh a thousand pounds and my legs are bicycles.
Next thing, I saw my breath going across the room
and the curtains moving.
My arms are also bicycles.
And I'm thinking, my god, Ken, what have you done?
It's weird, I can taste colors.
(chuckles)
(exhaling)
Well, I might hit the hay.
What do you say, you going to come?
(laughs)
And I'm laying in bed and all of a sudden,
I'm looking in this guy's ear.
And I say, "Whose ear is that?"
Whose ear is that?
Then I went back a little bit
and still couldn't figure it out.
Went right up to the ceiling.
Whose ear is that?
And I looked over, I saw her.
Said, "That's the girl I'm with!
Shit, that's me!"
I was looking in my own ear, I didn't even know!
Zoom, back in the body.
Now it's daylight the next morning,
and she said, "Can you get me out of here?"
I thought I'd only been there an hour.
Yeah.
Mm.
(chuckling)
So I take her downstairs
and there's a line of people on the bus stop
going to work on the King's Road.
And they're all staring at us.
And I'm going, "What are you staring at?"
I look down, I had no clothes on.
I had my clothes underneath my arm
and so did she.
♪
We thought we'd put them on.
That's how out of it we were.
Whoops.
It was a crazy time in my life,
but it was about to get even crazier.
♪
So I was hanging out with Ken,
and he said to me,
"Hey, mate, got to help me out tomorrow."
I said, "What?"
He said, "My girlfriend's coming back into town,"
and he had double-booked himself.
Got a meeting with an agent that I've been wanting to meet
for so long.
Well, yeah, but it was an agent.
Film agent.
Ken was just doing modeling
to get some money.
He really wanted to be an actor.
You've gotta help me out.
Can't stand her up.
She's going to take you to a screening.
-What's that? -I had no idea.
Well, they show movies that haven't come out yet.
Can you do it for me?
Okay, I'll do it.
That's great!
-That's great. -No worries.
-Great, great. -Yeah, it's fine.
Thanks, man.
No worries.
-You all right, love? -Mm-hm.
That's how casual it was.
I went the next day and there was Maggie Abbott.
Wackadoo, hey?
So you're a friend of Ken's.
Yeah, yeah, we've mucked about a bit.
Are you close with Ken?
Oh, we see each other once in a while.
Mm, yeah, same, we have mutual friends.
Friends who connect us.
Sort of--yeah.
Can't remember the movie we saw,
but I saw the Rolling Stones.
Know the Rolling Stones?
Do I know the Rolling Stones?
And I saw the Beatles there.
Paul!
You know Paul McCartney?
Of course, of course.
They all show up at these screenings
and I was very impressed.
I'm very impressed.
I was now sitting in the middle of all these important people.
And agents and people, I was told later,
were asking who I was.
♪
I went back to Paris, I was living in Paris,
and I was in a girl's house who I just met.
-(sighs) -Bonjour?
And she says, "Pour tu."
She passes me the phone--for me.
I said, "It can't be, nobody knows I'm with you."
And it's Maggie Abbott.
George, it's Maggie Abbott.
Maggie had rung my house.
My roommate had sent I went to La Coupole restaurant.
Rang the maître d' and the maître d' says
I left with this girl, and she called me.
Wouldn't you think I would think that's important?
What do you want me for?
There's a film I think that you're right for.
What's the name of it?
Well, I'm not going to tell you on the phone.
Get straight back to London, George.
And I hung up and I went off making love with this girl
and forgot about it.
About three or four weeks later,
I was back in London with Ken,
and he asked me, "What did Maggie want you for?"
I don't know, she wouldn't tell me.
God, she was just calling everywhere looking for you.
Why didn't you call her?
I don't know.
Mate, I'm not an actor.
She wanted me to act in a movie or something.
Come on.
Let's go find her.
Ken, we're right in the middle of a--
So we went up to her office and she told Ken to wait outside
while she talks to me.
All right, you got me here.
Now what do you want with me?
And she said, "I think you're right for James Bond."
-I said, "What?" -What?
"What makes you say that?"
She said, "You're just very sure of yourself."
Very arrogant.
They're looking for this.
Arrogant?
(scoffs)
And I didn't know that arrogance was a bad word,
so I said, "Thank you."
You've gotta get in to see Dyson Lovell,
the casting director.
Go down there.
Let him see you.
♪
James Bond, eh...Bond.
And she said, "Go down there and let him see you."
Yeah, all right.
But she didn't tell me I had to sneak in.
♪
I went down, just walked in.
Get in, walk in.
G'day, love.
I'm here to see a Dyson Lovell.
-Name? -Lazenby.
George Lazenby.
I'm sorry, no, you're not on the list.
Um, you sure--you want to double-check?
Maggie Abbott told me to come by.
This job is for union actors only.
Are you in the union?
Yeah--oh no, of course.
Yeah, absolutely, lifelong member.
Call them if you want, ask them.
-All right. -Well, don't call them now.
I mean, it's probably a bit early.
Don't want to wake them up.
Which union are you in?
The main one, the big one.
-DAFDA. -Yep, that's the one.
-Wrong. -Shit!
I'm sorry, you're going to have to leave.
Daniel?
You're up, love.
Daniel, lovely to see you.
And the woman kicks me out, says no, you're not on the list.
So I called up Maggie.
-Maggie Abbott. -Maggie!
Said they wouldn't let me in.
-They wouldn't even see me. -(Maggie sighs)
And she said, "You've got to get in there!"
Just--just get past that girl.
Channel your inner James Bond.
Do whatever it takes to get in that room.
Fortunately, I saw all these guys there waiting
who were looking like Sean Connery,
and I wasn't.
So I went out and I knew,
when I was a car salesman,
that Sean Connery got his hair cut down the road.
After that, I went to his tailor.
♪
Went in there, I said,
I want a suit like Sean Connery.
Can you do it for me today?
They went, "Huh!"
Six months, my friend.
Well, jeez.
♪
What about that one?
That's Connery's.
A suit he didn't pick up.
Hasn't picked it up in months.
Off about the world doing some photo shoot or something.
Is that right?
I thought, Jesus, if they're looking for James Bond,
they want me to look like that.
You know, on second thought, I'll just get that hat.
That one?
Mm-hm, that's the one.
Very well, sir.
♪
(chuckles)
So here I've got Connery's suit.
I already had a Rolex.
I got my hair cut where he got his hair cut.
I go back, I wait outside the door,
and the girl at the desk who wouldn't let me in,
she bends down to get something
and I just run right past her up the stairs,
and she's going, "Hey, you, stop!"
No, Harry, look, we're talking about replacing Sean Connery,
it's not an easy thing to do.
Dyson Lovell, the casting director,
was on the phone talking to Harry Saltzman.
Listen, we are going to find this guy.
No, Roger Moore is totally wrong for it.
Hold on... who are you?
And I was standing there with my hand like this,
with the Rolex.
I said, "I heard you're looking for James Bond."
I didn't have any acting experience.
But to me, you know, as a car salesman,
you don't know what this car's about,
but you'll tell everybody it's good
so you can sell the bloody thing.
He said, "Harry, there's a guy out here
I think you should see."
And Harry said, "Bring him over."
Right.
Let's go.
And as we were walking across the road,
he was saying, "Tell me your life story."
I said, "What"?
Tell me what you've done.
How many movies have you done,
what have you-- where have you worked?
Oh, jeez--China, Hungary.
Russia, Ukraine.
All the countries I could think of
that they wouldn't be able to check on.
♪
Well, I think it's pretty simple.
He's a distributor!
He's supposed to distribute movies!
We get up there and Harry has got an intimidating office.
It's simple.
And Harry was sitting there with his feet up on the desk,
and he points for me to sit right at the bottom of his feet.
I don't like sitting in front of people's feet.
-That's his job! -Sit.
So I went over and looked out the window.
You're an idiot, you're an idiot!
You know what, I gotta go, I gotta go.
♪
Who are you?
I said, "George Lazenby."
He said, "Tell me your life story."
I thought, "Oh my god, I've just told him
a bunch of lies; if I screw up--"
I was shitting myself underneath all this.
I said, "I'm getting in over my head."
I said, "I just told him, let him tell you."
Oh! Um... he's been working--
My attitude got to him.
Every other actor he'd had in there
did exactly what he asks.
And Hungary... um, yes.
He said to Dyson Lovell, he said, "Where's the director?
Where's Peter Hunt?"
Uh, he's in Switzerland doing location hunting.
When will he be back?
Four o'clock on Friday, sir.
Harry said, "Be here four o'clock on Friday."
I said, "I can't be here at four o'clock."
Why can't you be here?
I said, "I gotta get out of here,
these guys are gonna find out I'm a phony."
I said, "I'm doing a film in Paris,"
which is bullshit.
How much are they paying you?
I said, "500 pound a day,"
which was about 50 weeks' wages.
Yep.
All right, go down and see Stanley Sopel
and he'll give you 500 pounds.
Be here four o'clock on Friday.
Stanley Sopel, okay.
What are you so confused about?
Get the fuck out of here.
I couldn't say anything to that.
So then I go out and I ring Maggie.
So, how did you do?
Well, they gave me 500 pounds to come back tomorrow.
Oh, George, be serious.
-How did you do? -Maggie, I got the check
in my hand, 500 pounds.
She said, "What did you do?"
What did you do?
Nobody gives anybody 500 pounds to come back for a callback.
Well, I can show you, if you'd like.
-What are you doing tonight? -Bye, George.
♪
(sighs with satisfaction)
I get to see Peter Hunt on Friday.
I go into the office.
So, they flew me all the way back
from my location scouts in Switzerland
just to meet you.
And he is fuming.
He was pissed off when I walked in.
Because of me, he had to come back.
Looking at me like, "So tell me.
What have you done?"
(clears throat)
♪
I don't know what made me do this,
but I just came out with it, I said...
"Peter...
♪
I've never acted in front of a camera in my life."
Do you mean to tell me
you've never acted a day in your life?
And he looked at me for a few seconds.
(maniacal laughter)
And he was holding his stomach,
looking around the room belly-laughing.
(snickers)
(clears throat)
Do you realize
you've fooled two of the most ruthless men
that I know?
Stick to your story and I'll make you
the next James Bond.
♪
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service."
That's kind of a long title.
♪
Peter was on my side.
He wanted me to be the next James Bond,
but he took me over to meet Broccoli and Saltzman.
And they'd already investigated my background.
♪ Big fries are comin' by ♪
-Yeah, yeah! -♪ Big Fry ♪
Here comes Big Fry.
We go into the office, and Harry said,
"Get him out of here, he's a clothes peg.
We'll be the laughingstock of the industry."
Because in those days,
no one used a male model as an actor.
Peter said, "I want to test him whether you like it or not."
You're wrong here.
You're acting like a buffoon, stop it.
It's my money!
Listen, he's gonna be Bond whether he likes it,
-whether you like it... -Peter says,
"I'll test him at your place, Harry.
No one will know."
I don't want to have this discussion again.
We're testing him, done, goodbye, goodbye.
Screen test, Lazenby, take one.
(slate snaps)
The screen test is where they put you on camera
to see what you look like.
They want to see how you move,
how you talk.
And there were 300 tested on film.
And I was doing one for stunts.
They said, "Do you ride horses?"
I said, "Yes, since I was this high."
So they brought one over and it's got no saddle on it.
I just grabbed it by the mane and jumped on it, took off.
And I rode it until it ran out of steam.
They said, "You can ride a horse, that's for sure."
Then they took me to the swimming pool.
I thought I impressed them
by swimming underneath the water.
So I dived in and came up the other end.
"No, on top of the water!
Want to see you swim!"
I had to first of all get past Harry and Cubby,
because when I was a male model,
they wanted to chop me out.
I was inside, not showing it,
that I'm way over my head here.
I'm just going to make a fool of myself.
(knocking at door)
And one night, this guy came to my door.
Can I help you?
He had this beautiful girl with him.
Said, "She wants to make love with you."
I said, "What?"
She stripped her gear off.
Please come in.
♪
Interesting design in here.
(panting, moaning)
I got on her and
he was sitting in a chair right next to me.
I'm saying, "Aren't you going to join in?"
I thought he'd be going second or something.
He said, "No, no, no, that's all right."
And I thought, "He's a bloody pervert."
(crunching into apple)
It's just hard to concentrate.
♪
The next thing I know, she gets dressed and leaves.
Uh...thank you?
They said you were a male model,
and the studio, they were afraid you were gay.
But you're not, so.
I had no idea at the time it was a test.
I just thought I got lucky, you know?
♪
I went through a series of tests
that went on for four months.
(yelling)
♪
Mm--shaken, not stirred.
After all of that,
United Artists wanted to see me do a fight scene.
Peter Hunt kept saying, "He's Australian!
All Australians can fight."
The stunt men gave me five minutes' training.
-Action! -Missed the first
couple of guys,
and one of the stunt guys came up
and I hit him right in the chin.
He went down, he's wriggling on the ground like this.
I'm thinking, "Oh my god, what have I done?"
Harry steps over and grabs my arm,
takes me up against the wall.
We're going with you.
-I said, "It's about time." -It's about time.
What?
I said, "Thank you very much."
Harry said, "You should call your mother."
Call your mother!
So I call up Mum, she says, "Oh, hello, son."
And I said, "Mum, I just got the James Bond job."
"Oh, did you?
You know your license has run out."
♪
If someone told me back when I was in my teens even
that I would one day become James Bond,
I would think he's out of his mind.
I felt that every man wanted to be like him.
I did.
Here's a guy who had every thing that every man wanted.
He used to win at gambling,
he always got the girl,
and he could shoot people who got in his way.
I mean, what more could a man want?
My name is Pussy Galore.
I must be dreaming.
So I had the role,
providing I didn't mention it to anybody.
They had the cover of Life magazine,
front-page picture of me as the new James Bond,
before anybody else.
And Harry said, "Get lost.
Go to my travel agency,
go anywhere,
call me when you get there."
He didn't want any of the other press people to get hold of me.
So I went off around the South of France.
And guess who I called?
(phone rings)
♪
Hello?
-Belinda. -George?
My heart was just pounding.
I told her that I got the role of James Bond.
That's incredible.
I want you here with me to celebrate,
just like old times.
Her dad picked the phone up.
Oh, you got lucky, George, I hear?
I said, "Yeah, yeah, I did,"
and he didn't like me, of course.
Classwise he was on the top of the heap
and I was somewhere around the bottom.
I felt "Now, Jack, I'm on your level," you know?
He said, "What are you going to do with my daughter
down in the South of France?"
I said, "Nothing I haven't done before."
Did he just say, "Nothing I haven't done before?"
Yes, that's exactly what he said.
Mm-hm.
(slams receiver down)
And she got on a plane,
she was heading down to the South of France
from London.
(phone rings)
But in those two hours, Harry calls me up.
Hello.
He said, "Hey, get your ass back to London."
I said, "What for?"
He said, "We're having a press conference tomorrow."
Clunk.
♪
(laughter)
-Um... -Oh.
♪
What's the matter?
And I said, "I've gotta go back to London straight away."
What?
Yeah, I--things are so crazy right now.
But it's good, really good,
but I just got a phone call
and they need me back there now,
I have to go.
When are you coming back?
Oh, god, tomorrow, day after tomorrow, max.
-I promise. -Okay.
So I sent her to the hotel,
and I said, "I'll come back as soon as I can,
it'll probably be tomorrow or the day after tomorrow."
♪
Never happened.
I thought that I'd be back in a couple of days.
I had no idea it would be many years
before I saw her again.
She, meanwhile, got married and had kids.
We ran into each other I think it was about
20 years later.
Life would have been different
if I'd have come back.
Phew.
She was a beauty, good woman.
I just...
You know, it's one of those things
when timing doesn't work out the way you want it to
and it was meant to be.
Tell me, what were you doing before this?
I was a model.
If you want to go right back,
I was a salesman and a mechanic before that.
What really drew you to applying for this job?
Well, it was on the recommendation of a friend
called Maggie Abbott.
Peter Hunt, you have there next to you
a man who is not an actor
and who is going to be perhaps the most famous actor
in the years to come.
No, you're making a mistake.
Nobody's going to make him a famous actor.
They're going to make him a film star.
There were a lot of press there from all different countries.
-George? -George?
And I was sipping on a white wine or something
and smoking a cigarette, just talking to them.
I didn't know what I was doing.
What worries you most about taking on
a multi-million-dollar movie like this?
♪
Being able to do it well.
That's what I'm hoping to be able to do.
And I was thinking,
"What the fuck have I got myself into?"
(laughing)
♪
So we went off to Switzerland,
and now it's time to shoot the movie.
I'd never been on a film set.
You've got hundreds of crew,
you've got stunt crew, you've got helicopters,
and it's really a big, big thing.
And you're the central figure.
Everyone was experienced in the major roles.
Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas.
They'd been working as actors for decades.
George, obviously, there's going to be some comparison
between yourself and Sean Connery.
How do you think this comparison
will affect your image?
Sean Connery created James Bond.
How can I be better than Sean Connery
playing James Bond?
Mr...
Bond, James Bond.
I'm not an actor, I never had any thoughts
that I might be good as him,
because he created the character from his character,
from his personality.
I realized very early that people wanted to see
Sean Connery's version.
♪
I had a "G'day, mate" Australian accent
that they couldn't use for James Bond.
And they said, "He's gotta change his walk too,"
because when they put me on CinemaScope,
I walked like this,
and so I'd go right across the screen.
So they said, "Gotta change his walk
and you gotta change his accent."
So it wasn't, "My name's Bond,
James Bond.
007."
Hey, give us a martini.
Shake it, stir it,
I don't care, I'll drink anything.
My voice coach, she would lay me down on the floor...
My name's Bond.
Put a match in my mouth...
James Bond.
Then draw that out.
James Bond.
But she'd stop the muscles moving
that creates the Australian accent.
Make you talk like an Englishman.
My oh my, what a lovely ceiling you have.
I had to be this English toughie.
My, what a lovely ceiling you have.
Moneypenny, shut up.
You shut your mouth, Miss Moneypenny.
My name's Bond, James Bond.
And then as I was leaving,
my voice coach said:
"You know...
I feel sorry for you."
And I thought,
"Sorry for me, why?"
Said, "You're taking on a hell of a role."
♪
Your life is going to change.
♪
Next day, we're doing the titles.
They said, "Do it the way Connery does it."
"Just turn and shoot."
-Ready? -I don't know why I did it.
-Action. -On the first take,
for some reason or other,
I went to one knee...
(gunshot)
What was that?
Must turn and shoot.
I said the way Connery does it.
What's this kneeling down business?
What's the point of doing it like Connery?
You've got Lazenby.
Do it like George doing Connery.
Standing, turning, standing, shooting.
No kneeling down.
So just a turn and shoot then.
Turn and shoot.
-Did that. -Like Connery.
Write down "silly."
He's being a silly boy.
(clearing throat)
Here we go.
(gunshot)
Oh, now you're having a little laugh.
No, I thought I saw someone behind me.
Oh, yes, of course you did.
Do you want to play games?
Sure, we'll play games with him.
Isn't this fun?
Back to one, let's go.
Behave yourself now.
It's your time too.
But out of the first two,
which--which one did you prefer?
Quit it!
I've had enough of this bullshit.
I think I'm getting it, I'm getting it.
Stop mucking about and do it right.
♪
(gunshot)
My God, I've had it.
I'm taking five, everyone take five.
That's it, come on.
It was a warning shot.
♪
I thought that's how the blood trickles down
in front of the camera.
In my film, they used the one
that they told me not to do.
(gunshot)
I'm so creative.
(chuckling)
♪
Good morning.
My name's Bond, James Bond.
And after a while,
I started having fun with it.
I--I really didn't know
whether I was good or not.
I was just doin' the best I could.
You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?
Suppose I were to kill you for a thrill.
I can think of something more sociable to do.
I was working with good people.
Telly Savalas, Diana Rigg, and...
Angela Scoular.
She was quite funny.
We played a trick on Angela.
Angela had to put her hand up
inside the kilt,
and put a room number on the side of my leg.
And so just before that,
the props guys heated up a big German sausage...
and taped it to the inside of my leg
when I had a kilt on.
Of course, if you think so, Fraulein.
And she put the hand up there...
♪
And completes the scene without a reaction.
♪
And all the crew guys are goin'...
♪
And then she whispers in my ear,
"You got no pants on."
♪
Is anything the matter?
Just a slight stiffness coming on.
(laughing)
♪
All right, let's do take two.
Action!
There was all kinds of crazy stuff.
Run!
Stunt fighting.
Hangin' off ropes.
I can remember the knife thrower
couldn't hit the target.
I'd been throwing knives ever since a little kid.
So I took over the knife throwing.
♪
One of the stuntmen said,
"George shouldn't be jumpin' out of the helicopters
and hangin' off cables.
What if he dies?"
♪
He said, "No one's seen him yet.
We can get a new one
and do it all over again."
♪
After a while, I felt really comfortable on the set,
and if I was in fear, I wouldn't show it.
I think he's a little bit of every man,
or at least every man thinks he...
has some of James Bond in him.
Have you seen our new James Bond?
He's tall, dark, and handsome.
I was startin' to feel, you know, important
in my own self.
I think he's gorgeous.
Charming.
'Cause I'm no longer a male model,
I'm now a superstar.
I think he's very sexy and very confident,
a natural for James Bond.
♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪
There were a lot of women on the film.
♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪
And thank God for that,
because I was there nine months.
(clears throat)
And you get to know them.
How do you do?
Thank you.
Like, uh...
which one do you fancy first?
(laughing)
I remember one morning I opened the door.
The girls got one of the stunt dolls.
They had a note on it,
"Here's one you haven't had, George."
That's true.
You were having fun.
They were having fun with me.
I don't even know your name.
I'll tell you all about myself...
later.
♪
(speaking French poorly)
Another coffee, atta boy.
On my day off, I was in a cafe,
and all of a sudden,
the front of the shop was completely smothered
with people telling other people that,
"That's James Bond in there.
That's the new one."
♪
And that kind of gave me a little bigger head.
(laughing)
(chuckling)
Ah, it's all right.
I can remember being in the production office
one day on the film.
I'm here to get my per diem.
To get my per diem.
It was a hundred dollars a week.
How come I'm only makin' a hundred dollars a week?
How much the other fella get?
Says, "A thousand a week."
And I looked at Harry with a look like...
"I'm doing the same thing."
Fine, give him a thousand a week.
-That was my confidence. -Good on you, Harry.
Where other people were going around kissing ass,
I'd be tellin' 'em what I want.
♪
I said, "Peter, that's the last time
I do my own bloody stunts, you bastard."
They allowed me to have private planes
and go into town.
So I'd take one of the girls with me.
Oh, sorry--ooh, I have a feeling
there's a little bit of turbulence here.
♪
It's okay, I've got you.
♪
(laughing)
You feel better?
♪
I'd find somewhere to go every night.
(laughing)
I said, "Telly, you get a haircut."
(laughing)
That's the truth.
I was drinking at least a bottle of vodka a day.
Whoa, I was about to say!
♪
Mm, more, more, more, more.
And smoking, you know, as many weeds as I could.
♪
That's Bond, that's the new Bond!
Oh, is that him?
-What's his name? -Hey, Bond!
♪
I didn't go to bed till three or four
in the morning every night.
♪
It's a fascinating experience, fame.
Changed my life in lots of ways.
People would offer me money
to go to a party,
to show up at their party.
And it's not me, I didn't do that.
It was James Bond.
You know, "James Bond's comin' to my party."
You know, that's not George Lazenby.
(laughing)
Were you aware of that at the time?
Uh, not totally.
You kind of...
you think you're somebody,
you know, until the rug gets pulled out
from under you.
♪
The new Bond.
♪
If you think you know your Bond,
think again.
This one's different.
It's true!
Lazenby,
George Lazenby.
The different Bond.
♪
So after we wrapped the movie,
the film was coming out,
and I hadn't seen it,
but I must have done a pretty good job
because they wanted me to sign
for six more Bond films.
♪
The film is a fantastic box office success.
♪
But in America, Mr. Lazenby himself
has been voted the most promising newcomer
of the year.
I went the whole film without signing the contract.
And the United Artists
were getting on their case.
"How could you let that guy finish the movie
without signing the contract?"
♪
So they had to coax me along.
Sign the fucking contract.
♪
It was called a slave contract
where they tell you how to dress
and what you can do and what you can't do,
what kind of films you can be in.
It's simple.
Sign it, become rich.
What have we here?
♪
That's when Harry offered me
a million dollars under the table.
Yeah.
To sign the effing contract.
Ronan O'Rahilly, who was my manager at the time,
said, "Don't worry about that,
there's a guy called Clint Eastwood.
He's gettin' 500 grand.
You'll be able to make two movies
in six weeks, you'll get a million bucks."
Go ahead.
♪
I'll have to think about it.
♪
You're an idiot.
You really are an idiot.
What's there to think about?
♪
And he got up and stomped off
because if I won't change my mind
for a million dollars, what can I do?
He's a man who appears to know his own mind,
and has maintained a stubborn sense
of individuality.
He grew a beard, for instance,
and refused to shave it off
for the film premiere.
I naturally grew a beard
because first of all,
it would stop me being recognized,
and I can remember gettin' a call saying:
Don't come to the premiere of the movie
if you're gonna have a beard.
You ruin everything with your beard!
Don't you get it?
Bond doesn't have a beard!
Hippie piece of...
♪
But I did show up...
with a beard.
♪
It was, you know, royal premiere.
♪
I was recognized and photographed.
♪
And I was standing in line meeting the royals.
♪
The producers didn't want me to go there,
but I had these guys by the short and curlies,
'cause they had finished the movie
and I hadn't signed the contract.
When the film was finished,
you went on a publicity tour
of the United States,
which you paid for yourself.
-Mm. -Why?
Uh, on principle.
Uh, I was promised a tour of the United States
to publicize the film.
I was looking forward to it.
And because of my beard and long hair,
I wasn't allowed to go.
I was allowed to go on the condition
that I looked like James Bond.
The new James Bond.
Will you welcome George Lazenby?
(applause)
♪
Most people wanted to meet the new James Bond.
People like...
that guy.
And I said, well, anyone--
anyone can understand that James Bond
isn't a real person,
and they're not gonna mind the fact that I--
that I haven't had a shave for a month.
Welcome, and, George, very good to have you with us.
One doesn't think of James Bond with a beard.
Do you wear a beard in the film?
Uh, no, David, as, um...
as a matter of fact, uh, I'm out of the film now
and I'm George Lazenby again, you see?
They wanted me to stay in the image of Bond
at all times.
Do you carry on the James Bond thing
offstage, off camera?
No, like I said before,
James Bond was, uh...
me being an actor, as an actor.
And I don't think anyone can carry on that way.
It's a tough umbrella to walk under,
that James Bond thing.
It's great entertainment, James Bond,
but I don't think it happens to us
in our real life.
You know, you've gotta be real with yourself,
and it's not easy
with all the influences you have coming at you.
My next guest is someone
who very soon is gonna be a household name.
He has taken over the role of James Bond
from Sean Connery,
so let's please welcome George Lazenby.
(applause)
After I did the David Frost Show,
I went on Johnny Carson the next day,
and it's hard to imagine
someone doing this,
what I did, who's sane.
(laughing)
-And when he asked me... -So what was it like
to be James Bond?
I said...
It was fun, but I...
I don't want to do it anymore.
(laughter)
Oh, this...
That's good, you should--
you should be over here in my seat.
-Is that funny? -He was laughing,
the audience was laughing.
That's a good line; you're, uh,
you're joking, right?
You're not serious?
Yes, quite serious.
(crowd murmuring)
I turned it all down.
♪
The seven picture deal, million dollar bonus,
and I said no.
That's a lot of money you're passing up.
I mean, you ever thought about, uh, maybe,
you know, just changing your mind
and doing another picture or two?
Well, I think I'll be okay.
You in the market for a car?
(laughter)
I have to wish you the best of luck.
You're a very confident young man,
charming young man, and, um...
mm, ladies and gentlemen,
George Lazenby.
(applause)
♪
I really didn't know how to explain it.
Why I did it.
What I was thinking and feeling.
I still don't know why
I just didn't feel in my heart
it was the right thing.
♪
It's an instinctive thing
that's a voice inside you.
And you don't think of the consequences.
♪
I was totally blacklisted after Bond.
I couldn't get on any known film set.
♪
Five years down the road after Bond,
hardly anybody took much notice of me.
♪
Poor old George, I don't know what
he's doing now, but he--he's definitely
the architect of his own demise as a film star.
♪
My name became a punch line.
George Lazenby,
legendary actor because he played James Bond once.
Pope Benedict figured he'd be
a mere palate cleanser pope,
the George Lazenby, if you will,
to John Paul II's Sean Connery.
It's a famously bad decision.
Yes.
That's fame for you.
I can remember when it fell off.
I was, uh-- I used to get a table
at the Dorchester Hotel sometimes for dinner.
I'd ring up and they'd give me the best table
right there.
Rang up one day and they said,
"I'm sorry, Mr. Lazenby,
we haven't got any tables,"
after I got some bad press and whatnot.
"Haven't got any tables."
"Oh, okay."
So I'd ring back and say, uh,
"Oh, it's Cary Grant here.
Uh, do you have a table for four?"
"Oh yes, Mr. Grant."
And I'd show up and I'd say,
"Cary Grant's comin'."
And then I'd call 'em and say,
"Oh, he just called me.
He's not coming now."
Just to stick it back up 'em, you know?
Judy, Judy, Judy, this is Cary Grant here.
Well, looking back on it now,
it's taken up a year of your life.
You've taken a few kicks from some of the critics
and some of the press.
Has it been worth it?
I think so, I hope so anyway.
I've always done what I thought was the right thing,
and it's not always the right thing,
but I thought it was at the time.
You know, when I look back on it,
I should have done two.
(laughing)
Just to prove to people I wasn't fired.
But it was a mistake,
but in a way,
this is who I am.
I don't know why, it doesn't make sense
to some people, they say, "He's mad, he's crazy."
But I live my life the way I want to.
♪
I regret breaking up with Belinda
from time to time.
She taught me what love was about.
She taught me how to love.
♪
You can't get hung up on something like that
or you--your life's over.
Does it concern you at all
that you may well have turned your back
on a large fortune?
Oh, it does in a way.
I mean, everyone would like
to be secure moneywise.
But, uh, I've never been that secure with money,
and, uh, I think I can make a living
at a few other things.
Which would you prefer?
To be a stereotyped James Bond
or a car salesman like you used to be?
Car salesman like I used to be.
♪
Becoming Bond was never my end goal.
While he admits there are days he regrets his decision,
Lazenby says he's put James Bond behind him.
I got married, I had couple of kids.
I went into real estate.
I was very successful there.
♪
I ended up racing Motocross.
I always wanted to race motorcycles.
It's very hard for people to understand,
but living life on your own terms
in your own way,
you feel like it's much fuller.
The best thing you can do is know yourself
and feel yourself and be yourself.
♪
Yeah, I may not be great,
but I'm an original.
Perhaps the most controversial choice
to play James Bond was my next guest.
He took over for the first time
from Sean Connery.
If that wasn't tough enough,
he wasn't an actor,
but nonetheless the film he made,
On Her Majesty's Secret Service,
is celebrated by some
as one of the best Bond films.
Welcome, please, George Lazenby.
(applause)
♪
I'm proud of my life.
When I look back, I was very fortunate
to have half a kidney
and expected to live till 12.
Here I am 76,
and I've done everything and more
than I ever expected to.
♪
I was happy to be a motor mechanic,
happy to be a car salesman,
happy to be a model,
happy to be James Bond,
happy to marry the person I married,
happy to have kids.
And they've all been wonderful.
♪
I can't think of anything I'd change.
Yeah, I'd probably have...
a few more pretty women around, but...
(laughing)
What the hell.
♪
What do you hope people remember about your life?
♪
Ooh, that's a good one.
So tell me,
what have you done?
♪
(clears throat)
♪
I'd like 'em to know
that you can defy
what is expected of you.
♪
And write your own story.
♪