So we're responding to reports of excessive noise
from this penthouse apartment.
I mean, it's quite hard to explain when we're running up the stairs,
not that we're puffed or anything like that.
Apparently there's been a lot of screaming and screeching.
Yeah. But what's the difference between a scream and a screech?
That's a screech.
That's a scream. Got it. Okay. Open up!
Thanks, O'Leary.
I've actually been thinking a lot about my childhood lately.
We went to Rainbow's End and my brother made me go on the Fearfall,
and I was just... I wasn't really ready for it...
Ah... I meant... I meant the guy behind the door.
Yeah. So... so did I... Open up!
Oh, thank God you're here. Come in.
Thank you.
I called you because... it came in aand it did all of this.
It stole my Xbox controller.
Probably a bit old for an Xbox anyway, aren't you, mate?
What happened to your, ah, your chest there, sir?
It was trying to take my necklace.
We'll get you some help at some stage soon.
So this thing that did that, how would you describe it?
I don't know. It was... it was some kind of beast.
You got any other adjectives?
Enormous, squawking...
Okay. And when it came, what did it do?
- It did this... - Yep.
Did this.
- It did this. It did this. - Did it do that?
No. That was my nephew. He came over last week.
And it took my chandelier.
Chandelier? Inner-city apartment?
Bit over-the-top.
This would be the entry and exit point for the beast.
- The door? - The smashed door.
O'Leary...
You reckon this could have anything to do with it?
So there have been a spate of power cuts in the Brooklyn area
near the wind turbine. This is what we refer to as brownouts.
What, Parker?
Nothing, Sarge.
Right. So these brownouts...
What's so funny about brownouts, Parker?
Oh, it's... I was... I was just remembering a Knock-knock joke.
- And how does that go? - Oh, okay. Well, you start.
- Knock knock. - Who's there?
Brownouts...
- That's not how it goes. - All right.
So, let's concentrate please.
There are far more important matters at hand.
Such as, a number of unusual robberies
have been occurring across the city.
Shiny objects missing, such as silverware, cutlery, DVDs.
And something else far more upsetting.
- Yes. - Ellington?
- Where's that? - Well it's here, Minogue.
- Clearly somebody stole the 'W'. - It could have been an Aucklander.
What are they gonna do with a 'W'?
What have you got there?
- A quill. - Where did you get that?
We should probably talk to you about it, Sarge.
I thought, well that doesn't seem that threatening,
but upon seeing this...
I mean, we thought it could be extremely threatening.
Yeah. Especially if you're really ticklish,
like on the armpit or on your leg.
We think what we encountered was pretty scary actually, Sarge.
It had trashed a man's apartment.
- Made a real mess. - It was messy.
Took some notes,
and we found out that it was enormous and also squawking.
And I spoke to a witness who said,
"I only just got here just now. I don't know what you're talking about."
Right.
I've invited someone who, I think, may be able to help us.
You can come in. Just let me use our special unlocking mechanism.
Door unlocked. Come in.
Minogue, O'Leary, this is Beverly Hatupatu.
She is an endangered bird expert.
- Hello. - Hello, Beverley.
Please close the door. It's a secret door.
Office Secure.
- Here...if you will. - That's an incredible specimen.
Sarge. Sarge, are you sure she should be in here?
You told us we had to get special clearance to come in here and...
It's okay... I trust her. I met her on an internet bird forum.
- Is that what Twitter is? - No, no.
You're very lucky to have found this.
It's a moa, isn't it? Is it moa?
This is a tertiary pennae volatus.
- That's a kind of bird, is it? - It's a flight feather.
Tertiary means that it's the smallest feather of the wing.
And judging by the colouring... this thing is female.
I think I know what you're dealing with here. She's very dangerous...
She can swallow you whole in one go. Just... just like a...
Down you go. My great great great great great great great great...
...great great great...
...great great great great great great great great...
...great great great great great great...
...great great great grandfather encountered it many moons ago.
She really likes her Grandfather.
- I mean, this is incredible. - Are you into birds?
Oh, you know. I dabble.
It's also been taking a lot of shiny things, possibly to build a nest.
There's also the issue of power cuts and wind surges.
Wind could be its source of power, and that's why...
- ... Why she chose Wellington. - That's why she chose Wellington.
Ms Hatupatu...
...what is our tactical approach for capturing whatever this is?
- I have an idea. - What is it?
- I will avenge my family. - Excuse me. Can you speak up?
I will we ensure the safety of this creature,
and make sure that we capture it in a humane manner.
Okay. And how will you do that?
I've spent my entire life searching...
So Beverley is just baiting the trap at the moment
with really shiny objects. She's had to improvise a little bit,
but sometimes simple is actually best,
so I really respect her for that.
We know that the creature has an affinity towards shiny things,
so we're gonna use the iconic Wellington Fern Ball sculpture
to attract her here to this location,
and then hopefully she'll land when she sees the really attractive, objects.
And then we just pull the rope... and we'll trap her in the box.
Yeah. I've given up some of my most prized possessions to help the cause.
Often that's what policing is, isn't it?
Is... you give up the things that matter to you the most
in order to protect the community as much as you possibility can.
In this case it includes some Andre Rieu Live CDs,
which are some real classics in there.
Also my handcuffs, which I never really use.
I found some paper clips...
She's near. It's almost time.
It appears that she's getting closer.
We do think that she would have to be a real birdbrain to fall for this,
so it might just work perfectly.
The most important part...
...is to not hurt her, okay?
It'll be much more helpful for the ornithological research,
and for my iwi.
So do you know what she is?
She's the Birdwoman... Kurangaituku.
She held my great great great great great great great great great great
great great grandfather hostage.
She's half woman half bird. The size of a tree, with claws like knives.
Very powerful. And, like, extremely dangerous.
You say she's as big as a tree. Do you mean like a real little tree?
I'm just wondering as well, like, when you said, knives...
...do you mean, like, really small knives?
Or like spoons...?
Awesome.
They should have set the trap by now. I'm gonna call them.
Can we please move this cage, Parker?
Why did you bring this bird in for anyway?
That's my budgie, Paul.
I thought we could study his behaviour, and it might help us.
I don't see the value of that, to be honest.
I would just like the... cage to be removed from the...
Sorry, Paul.
What do you think he's thinking?
No idea. What do you think he's thinking?
I'm thinking he's thinking... "Wow. Sarge looks like a great guy."
"I wouldn't mind living at his place."
So we're just playing a waiting game. There's no sign of the bird just yet.
- Who is it? - It's Sarge.
- Yeah. Gidday, Sarge. - What does he want?
Yeah. We're all good... Yeah. Just playing the waiting game.
I'm not really sure of the rules.
Beverley? Yeah. She's all good.
Yeah. She's playing the waiting game too.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Yep... No, I've got to go... got to go.
Ta ta !
Where's Beverley gone?
- There! - That Birdwoman has got her!
Come on! In pursuit! Let's go!
No, no! Run! Run! Run! Run! It's faster! Come on! Let's go!
It's faster in a straight line. It's faster in a straight line.
- Pull me up! - I'll get down. I'll give you a hand up.
One, two, three... Up.
- Let's run! Run! - This way.
While staking out the Birdwoman, the Birdwoman took the bird woman.
- I'm confused. - We need to find the Birdwoman.
Yeah. But the woman who likes birds or the half bird/half woman?
- Both! - Oh right. I'm gonna grab my stuff.
There's no time, Minogue!
There's some rare CDs in here, O'Leary.
There's no such thing as a rare CD.
You wouldn't know. What do you know about CDs? You don't even like music.
You don't even let me put music on in the car most of the time.
Minogue, O'Leary. Come in. Over.
Are you there? Over. Hello?
Minogue, O'Leary. Are you there? Over.
What did you do that for, Parker?
Well, we have to give him free will. That's how we'll learn.
Well, that's a terrible idea.
Don't worry, Sarge... I know how to calm him down.
Paul is interested.
That's great.
You're onto something, Parker. That's genius!
Come here, Paul.
- Minogue, O'Leary. Come in. - To the office?
We're actually doing something pretty important here, Sarge.
The Birdwoman has taken the bird woman.
No. Come in, as in, "Listen to me over the radio." I have an idea.
Try alluring the Birdwoman using... ...mating calls.
- Got to go. Problem in the office. - Copy that.
No! No! No! Ah, Parker...
You think Sarge is okay? He sounds pretty stressed.
And he said, "try some mating calls."
- Do you know any? - No. Not really.
I'm sort of like, "Hey. How's it going?, I'm in the Police."
"It's pretty cool Blow into this bag."
I'm not sure he meant those kinds of mating calls.
I think he meant maybe something to do with birds.
So maybe there's something in Beverley's book.
There's some pretty detailed drawings here.
She seems a bit obsessed.
Well, maybe she's just really passionate, you know?
And that's an admirable quality.
Can lead to criminal behaviour, though.
- What? Passion? - Obsessive.
Look... this one looks like you.
- I'm driving! - Yeah. And you're also a birdwoman.
I don't see how a birdwoman can look like me.
Look.
That's distracting me as a driver.
- Put it down please. - That looks exactly like you.
I... find that very hard to believe.
- Here we go, "Mating Calls." - What does that say?
- I'm driving. - Yeah. Use your left eye.
It says... I think.
You might be right.
Yeah. I'm not a threat to you, Paul.
- No! - He's going over there!
He's going into the office! He's going into the office!
It's...
On your feet, Officer.
It's all right. I'm just a little bit stunned.
Where he go?
Yeah, yeah !
Here, here, here.
Hey, buddy.
Paul!
As you can see, the bird is still at large in the office.
Yep. Yep. You... that's on you Try more of the...
... the French seduction.
Yeah. More sass.
Yeah. Yeah.
- What is that? - It's a bird call.
- Sounds like a phone. - Doesn't sound like a phone.
Do it properly. That's not how you do it. You can do better than that.
Let me have a go.
No. It's not working.
Look, we've got to try harder. The endangered bird expert is in danger.
- So she's endangered? - Yeah.
She's an endangered endangered bird expert.
Let me have another turn. One more.
Do you think that was her, Minogue?
I reckon it was, O'Leary.
Did Sarge tell us what to do if we attracted the birdwoman?
No.
She's getting closer. It's getting really, really loud.
Eyes on bird! Eyes on bird!
Sarge, we found her! O'Leary did an amazing bird call!
Do it again, O'Leary!
No. It wasn't like that. It was more sort of like...
Don't like it! Don't like it!
- I want to get down! - Calm down, Minogue. Calm down.
Just breathe. Yeah. Good, good. You breathe too, Beverley. Breathe.
- Seat belts off? - Copy.
Help.
- I don't think we should move. - I agree. We should not move.
I'll count to three, and then we'll both leap out of the car as one.
- What are you doing? - Getting my jacket.
We don't need our jackets.
I've already lost three this month, I'm not gonna lose another one.
They cost a fortune.
Are you ready? Three, two...
- Come on, O'Leary. - Minogue!
You're sitting on my face!
- Are you alright? - Yeah. I'm good.
- Am I okay? - What?
- Am I okay? - Are you okay?
- Yeah. I think so. - Yeah. You look good.
O'Leary... the car. The car! The car! The car! The car! The car!
Look out!
Heads!
So it looks as though the woman bird has enormous strength,
and is very dangerous to pedestrians.
We need to apprehend the suspect as soon as possible to save Beverley,
and we'd also like to warn the public
about the potential dangers of falling patrol cars.
Looks like she's heading to the wind turbine.
She must be messing with it,
and causing all the power outages in Brooklyn. We've got to get there.
Yeah. But how? I'm not sure the car is gonna be all right.
No, no. What are you doing?
I'm just seeing if we can still take the car, but no.
- No. - We need another plan.
- Busy night tonight, driver? - Not too bad.
Did you guy hear about that cop car
that fell of the Majestic Centre tonight?
No. I haven't caught up with that one.
Crazy. You'd expect you cops to be the first ones to...
We need to get to the Brooklyn Wind Turbine.
I know. Ah, you entered it into the app.
See that little computer there, O'Leary?
That's how it works with Ubers.
I understand Uber. And I don't need to be mansplained about Uber.
No. That's not mansplaining.
Mansplaining is when you over-explain something that's really simple,
when it always come from a man, to a woman.
Yeah, and sort of the difference is, with that,
was it was explaining something that was little bit more complicated.
When you grasp a concept, break it down to little parts...
... and explain those little parts in small detail.
Sarge, come in. Come in, Sarge.
Here, Paulie! Here, Paulie! Come down! Come down!
Oh gosh. It's so stuffy... chasing birds.
Okay.
Hey. Over there! Over there!
Move forward.
Fuck the Police!
What are you teaching this bird, Parker?
It's not actually mine, it's my Uncle Trev's.
I'm just bird-sitting.
Clearly your Uncle Trevor
doesn't have any respect for our profession whatsoever.
Fuck the Police!
This is not appropriate. It is not on. Come on.
Here we go. Get in the... Get in the cage, Paul.
You know what? Look, I think we've done everything we can.
I think everybody just stand down, all right?
We just stand down until this bird calms down.
Fuck the Police!
Watch for the fan!
Regrettably the assailant was resisting
and using quite offensive language, and is now a casualty.
Moving forward, I think we will take steps to inform the next of kin
what has transgressed here.
Unfortunately this is a result of...
sometimes what we deal with in the New Zealand Police.
Hey Sarge, we've followed the Birdwoman
to the Brooklyn Wind Turbine.
Roger that. Heading over now.
Uber driver has dropped us miles away.
Hey look!
Yeah. I mean, obviously,
potentially because this creature is a Birdwoman, she might not be aware
of the fact that all of this stuff is actually recyclable.
So I guess we'll just give he a warning
for that when we catch up with her.
- Did you hear that? - Yeah.
Waiho tenei wahi!
That's Maori for, 'leave this place'. Beverly must be right.
She is Kurangaituku!
Well, we could leave this place. I mean, she asked nicely.
We've got to rescue Beverley.
Yeah. But the Birdwoman eats people, I hear.
That's why we've got to keep going.
Well, that could be the reason why we don't go in.
Leave the springs.
Can I get them on the way back?
- I won. - It's not a competition
Look! A giant nest.
Do you think it's related to the giant bird?
Yes.
Then one of us is probably gonna have to go up there.
We're both going. Come on.
Looks to be faeces of an avian nature.
Do you think if she pooed on you, it would still be considered good luck?
Could be a considerably large amount of good luck.
Good luck would be absolutely dripping off you.
Ascending ladder!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Safely. Ascending ladder safely.
My fingers!
Maybe we should just... take the 'W' and go.
There's Beverley!
Take Beverley and the 'W' and go.
I told you not to come here!
Good evening. I'm Officer O'Leary. This is Officer Minogue.
We're here to help you.
You are actually interrupting. So...
Or visiting. Depending on how you look at it.
- All good. All good. - Yeah, yeah.
- Got any biscuits? - Sarge!
- What the... - I got stitch! I got stitch!
Sergeant Maaka, maybe I should just deploy tranquiliser, Sarge.
Don't you dare hurt my beautiful babies.
She's a mother!
It's feeding time.
Excuse me, Birdwoman. That's, Beverley.
She's a member of the public.
You can't just let your chicks ingest her in that fashion.
Well, of course not. I'm going to swallow her,
and then I'm going to regurgitate her. Like this.
Okay. I think we really have to help her.
Sarge, there's a big fan outside.
You're right, Parker. We can't have a repeat of what happened to Paul.
Never again. We've got to time this just right.
Hello, Kurangaituku
Don't you dare come any closer.
Come into my house, try and steal my food.
To be fair, you did woosh and break into multiple homes,
and steal many shiny objects.
You know what? My instincts as a bird wants to eat you right now.
So you better shush shush, girl.
Keep calm, beautiful bird woman.
Don't try to smooth talk me, handsome. I might gobble you up too.
Sarge, you're blushing.
She might take that as a threat.
Just trying to calm her down, Parker. Do you have a clear shot?
Affirmative.
Enough talk. You've interrupted my dinner time!
Deploy the tranquiliser, Parker. Take the shot! Take the shot!
Why...
Parker, you got Sarge!
Why did you shut your eyes?
Get away! Get away, please!
I didn't want her babies to see me shooting her.
So I just kind of went like this and went like that.
Okay... gun down. Tranquiliser down. Tranquiliser away. Away. Down.
No.
Obviously here in the police, we just are here to look after the community,
all members of the community. So yes, we had officers down,
but it was all for a good cause
and it was to save you, Beverley, and Birdwoman.
It's all good. It's all good, bubs.
And, um, that's all part of the service that we provide...
the New Zealand Police.
End of the day though, I think, good result.
Sometimes, in our investigations,
we realise we have more in common with the paranormal than you'd think.
I mean, in this case, yes, she does feed on the blood of innocents,
but she's also a solo mother
just trying to navigate her way through life.
And yes, she does have the body of a bird,
but she's also got the head of a woman.
A woman just trying to feed her kids...
I mean, looking back through Ms Hatupatu's notes...
...we did find several mentions of her wanting to seek revenge
for a generation's long feud between her family and the birdwoman's,
but she's since changed her attitude,
and agreed to study the creature for science...
As it's no longer deemed as a threat to her or her family.
And I think, end of the day, it was a tremendous group effort by the team.
Yeah. That's right, O'Leary. We did it.
You can't spell Wellington Paranormal Unit, without 'WE'.
There's no I's in there.
There's a couple.
Yeah. There's hardly any though.
That's gross. But I guess it's kind of cute.
Well...
Where's Beverley?
Ms Hatupatu!
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