1 00:00:03,359 --> 00:00:04,879 - These are good fish and chips. - Mm. 2 00:00:04,959 --> 00:00:06,615 I reckon this is the best fish and chip shop 3 00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:07,919 in the Greater Wellington Region. 4 00:00:07,959 --> 00:00:09,519 No, the best fish and chip shop 5 00:00:09,599 --> 00:00:11,239 is the vegan fish and chip shop. 6 00:00:11,919 --> 00:00:13,919 - Isn't that just a chip shop? - Yeah. 7 00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:17,319 Hey, you've got grease on your face. 8 00:00:17,999 --> 00:00:19,199 No, no, this side. 9 00:00:19,999 --> 00:00:21,079 I'm doing that. 10 00:00:21,159 --> 00:00:22,479 No, no, it's like a mirror. 11 00:00:22,559 --> 00:00:24,399 Oh, you're one of those mirrorers. 12 00:00:24,479 --> 00:00:27,839 You're meant to do... comparitatable. 13 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:29,959 - Comparitatable? - Mm. 14 00:00:30,039 --> 00:00:31,055 That doesn't make any sense. 15 00:00:31,079 --> 00:00:33,375 Just because you don't know all the big words doesn't mean 16 00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:34,935 Just think about how a mirror works, right? 17 00:00:34,959 --> 00:00:36,479 - Yeah. - OK, imagine that's a mirror. 18 00:00:36,559 --> 00:00:38,039 - Right? OK. - Yeah. 19 00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:39,999 I'm saying to you, there ' s the food. 20 00:00:40,079 --> 00:00:42,559 Yeah, but that's when we ' re sitting across from each other. 21 00:00:43,959 --> 00:00:46,839 We ' re sitting beside each other. 22 00:00:46,919 --> 00:00:48,919 So you ' d be pointing there. 23 00:00:48,999 --> 00:00:50,919 And then it would be here. 24 00:00:50,999 --> 00:00:52,599 I'm pointing there. 25 00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:54,919 No, but I'm not, because it' s a mirror, so that's there. 26 00:00:55,039 --> 00:00:56,255 We ' re sitting next to each other. 27 00:00:56,279 --> 00:00:57,855 But what about when we ' re sitting like this? 28 00:00:57,879 --> 00:00:59,679 Well, when we are sitting like that, sure. 29 00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:01,599 OK, then you've got grease on your face here. 30 00:01:02,039 --> 00:01:03,119 Just here. 31 00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:04,359 Just there? 32 00:01:04,639 --> 00:01:05,639 There. 33 00:01:05,679 --> 00:01:08,159 Well, I don't think you need to point to my face. 34 00:01:08,239 --> 00:01:09,919 - Testing. - One, two, one two. 35 00:01:09,999 --> 00:01:11,839 Can you tell me if this radio is working? Over. 36 00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:13,735 - Yeah, it's working, Sarge. - Good. I got new batteries. 37 00:01:13,759 --> 00:01:16,015 I'm gonna need to you go out and investigate a disturbance 38 00:01:16,039 --> 00:01:17,759 - at Taita Petrol Station. - A disturbance? 39 00:01:17,839 --> 00:01:19,159 - Yeah. - That sounds disturbing. 40 00:01:19,239 --> 00:01:21,039 - A disturbing disturbance. - Yeah, copy that. 41 00:01:21,119 --> 00:01:22,239 Yeah, copy that. 42 00:01:22,559 --> 00:01:23,799 Shall I put the siren on? 43 00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:26,399 - Yeah, definitely put the siren on. We've gotta get there fast. 44 00:01:59,799 --> 00:02:01,719 This is the scene of the disturbance. 45 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,679 - Yeah, I know. I just drove here. 46 00:02:07,999 --> 00:02:09,759 - Gidday, mate. We've had a report 47 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:11,879 of some unusual activify here. 48 00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:13,079 Yeah. 49 00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:15,079 OK, um, what happened? 50 00:02:15,159 --> 00:02:17,559 - I didn't see anything. Happened over in the car wash. 51 00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:18,919 That car wash? 52 00:02:18,999 --> 00:02:21,159 Yeah. Some dodgy stuff happened, but... 53 00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:22,239 I didn't do anything. 54 00:02:22,279 --> 00:02:24,079 - Dodgy? - I heard him say dodgy. 55 00:02:24,159 --> 00:02:25,975 Hey, look, it might be easier if we just came inside 56 00:02:25,999 --> 00:02:27,039 for a bit of a chat. 57 00:02:27,119 --> 00:02:29,599 Yeah, so, it'll compromise my safefy if you guys come in. 58 00:02:29,679 --> 00:02:31,639 But we ' re police officers. 59 00:02:32,279 --> 00:02:33,759 Yeah, I've heard that one before. 60 00:02:33,839 --> 00:02:35,375 What, you think we ' re fake police officers? 61 00:02:35,399 --> 00:02:36,399 Yeah. 62 00:02:36,479 --> 00:02:38,055 Where do you think we got our police car? 63 00:02:38,079 --> 00:02:39,679 I dunno. Online? 64 00:02:40,279 --> 00:02:42,079 OK, well, look, do you have any information 65 00:02:42,159 --> 00:02:43,559 as to what happened here tonight 66 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:44,895 any more information that could help us out? 67 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:46,519 Yeah, I've got a securify video here. 68 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:48,959 That might've been quite helpful a little bit earlier on. 69 00:02:49,999 --> 00:02:51,839 So, here we have a car coming up. 70 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:52,919 - Mm-hm. - Yep. 71 00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,599 They came and bought a coupon before. 72 00:02:55,279 --> 00:02:58,079 Punching in the couple of digits that you've gotta put in for it. 73 00:02:58,239 --> 00:03:00,879 I think they're going for a premium - premium wash. 74 00:03:02,039 --> 00:03:03,479 Ooh, here they go, going in. 75 00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:05,799 Now four people in it. 76 00:03:05,879 --> 00:03:07,719 Now their car' s getting a bit of a wash. 77 00:03:07,799 --> 00:03:08,839 Yep. 78 00:03:09,039 --> 00:03:10,159 Still in there. 79 00:03:13,279 --> 00:03:15,079 - Still in there. - Yep. 80 00:03:16,559 --> 00:03:18,519 - Still in there. - Still in there. Yeah. Got it. 81 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,039 - Still in there. - Here they come, here. 82 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,079 There ' s no one in there. 83 00:03:24,599 --> 00:03:25,959 Where ' s that car now? 84 00:03:27,679 --> 00:03:29,999 Ooh, what is that smell? That is horrific. 85 00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:33,759 M I NOGUE: That is so much worse. There ' s slime in there. 86 00:03:34,319 --> 00:03:35,599 What kind of car wash is this? 87 00:03:36,119 --> 00:03:38,079 What' s this? 88 00:03:39,039 --> 00:03:40,079 - Look at that. - Eugh! 89 00:03:41,719 --> 00:03:42,959 - Are you scared? - No. 90 00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:45,175 Actually just concerned, because we ' re not meant to be 91 00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:46,799 tampering with evidence, I think. 92 00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:49,239 Don't think I really wanna walk in there. 93 00:03:52,119 --> 00:03:54,239 - Ooh, bloody hell. - Use your baton. 94 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,119 8-2-9-3-8-2. 95 00:03:58,559 --> 00:04:00,519 - 8-2-9... - 2-9... 96 00:04:00,879 --> 00:04:02,279 - 3... - 3-8-2. 97 00:04:02,839 --> 00:04:04,719 - Asterisk. Can you hold that? - Good team work. 98 00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:06,695 They never put those bits in, though, do they? 99 00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:08,199 - Nah. - You know? 100 00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:10,319 Well, they consider that stuff boring, don't they? 101 00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:11,919 Well, it's actually not boring at all. 102 00:04:11,999 --> 00:04:13,479 I mean, it's excellent policing, 103 00:04:13,719 --> 00:04:15,575 and it sends a really good message out to people, 104 00:04:15,599 --> 00:04:17,079 - doesn't it? - Cooperation. 105 00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:25,719 It's not as exciting as I remember car washes being. 106 00:04:26,079 --> 00:04:27,239 Mm. 107 00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:28,639 Can we put on some music? 108 00:04:29,879 --> 00:04:31,359 Popsicle down. 109 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,255 Minogue, look, that' s how we get ants in the car. 110 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:34,279 Can you get it? 111 00:04:34,559 --> 00:04:35,999 You get your little hands in there. 112 00:04:36,079 --> 00:04:37,735 - You put your long fingers- - Comparatively. 113 00:04:37,759 --> 00:04:40,759 Put your long fingers down there- I am, I am, but you know... 114 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,199 Pull the seat back, cos I can't reach. 115 00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:46,719 - Oh, what is that? - I got the stick. 116 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:48,559 That's from last week' s one. 117 00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:50,295 - Get that one. Don't leave that down there. 118 00:04:50,319 --> 00:04:52,759 - That's not even an ice block. - I got it. I got it. 119 00:04:55,359 --> 00:04:56,679 Is that normal? 120 00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,879 No, don't open our windows in the car wash. 121 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,479 What kind of car wash did you get? 122 00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:01,639 Mega. 123 00:05:01,999 --> 00:05:03,279 Should I have got basic? 124 00:05:03,359 --> 00:05:04,999 O' Leary, there ' s someone out there. 125 00:05:05,079 --> 00:05:06,719 EERl E VOICES: Help us! 126 00:05:06,799 --> 00:05:09,239 - What are we supposed to do? - They're asking for help. 127 00:05:09,319 --> 00:05:11,359 - We've gotta help them. We've got a responsibilify. 128 00:05:11,399 --> 00:05:13,175 - No way! Don't do it, O' Leary! - I'm gonna open the window. 129 00:05:13,199 --> 00:05:15,015 You said, ' Don't open it! ' You said, ' Don't open the window! ' 130 00:05:15,039 --> 00:05:16,359 - I'm opening it. - Join us! 131 00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:18,159 Oh! No, that's not a good idea. 132 00:05:18,239 --> 00:05:19,079 Help me. I'm doing 133 00:05:19,159 --> 00:05:21,759 Don't touch her face! That's a police face! 134 00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:24,799 - Get your hand off it now! - Oh, it tastes disgusting. 135 00:05:24,879 --> 00:05:26,279 Why are you swallowing it? 136 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,199 I'm trying to tell you to get your window up! 137 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,599 Out! That was violating my face. 138 00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:32,319 Eugh, that was disgusting. 139 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,519 Well, that's why you don't unwind your window 140 00:05:34,599 --> 00:05:36,039 - in a car wash. - Thank you, Minogue. 141 00:05:39,359 --> 00:05:40,679 - Do the slide. - Yeah. 142 00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:41,599 Yeah! 143 00:05:41,719 --> 00:05:43,079 There ' s still people in there. 144 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:51,479 Where are they? 145 00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:56,039 Just before you guys go out tonight, 146 00:05:56,119 --> 00:05:58,799 I would like to commend Parker for what a great job he ' s done 147 00:05:58,879 --> 00:06:00,399 in confiscating fireworks this week. 148 00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:03,999 Thanks, Sarge. 149 00:06:04,559 --> 00:06:06,319 Yeah, it's not easy being the fun police, 150 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,639 but sometimes you've gotta ruin everyone ' s Guy Fawkes 151 00:06:08,719 --> 00:06:09,855 for the sake of public safefy. 152 00:06:09,879 --> 00:06:11,679 I actually think that the fun police 153 00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:15,639 are just police who are fun - so, you know, fun police, so... 154 00:06:15,719 --> 00:06:17,599 - You know what? That is a great attitude. 155 00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:20,999 And speaking of fun police, 156 00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:23,479 we ' re gonna be doing a bit of a controlled burn-off 157 00:06:23,559 --> 00:06:26,679 of said fireworks at the back of the police station 158 00:06:27,199 --> 00:06:28,839 - on Friday night. - Any big ones in there? 159 00:06:28,919 --> 00:06:30,799 Whoa, Mama, there ' s TNT in here. 160 00:06:30,879 --> 00:06:34,079 - Hey, whoa, whoa, Parker. Be extremely careful with that. 161 00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,279 OK. Oh! 162 00:06:35,519 --> 00:06:37,519 Right, that' s enough for tonight. 163 00:06:37,599 --> 00:06:40,159 Get out there and make our communities feel safe. 164 00:06:40,599 --> 00:06:41,599 Thank you. 165 00:06:41,679 --> 00:06:44,079 Oh, uh, not you two, Minogue and O' Leary. 166 00:06:44,159 --> 00:06:45,559 You know where to meet me. 167 00:06:46,599 --> 00:06:48,039 Is this where you wanted to meet? 168 00:06:48,119 --> 00:06:49,119 Obviously. 169 00:06:49,479 --> 00:06:50,959 So, let me get this straight. 170 00:06:51,039 --> 00:06:53,799 Not only did you not find the missing persons, 171 00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:57,759 not find the suspect, you also managed to ruin your uniforms. 172 00:06:58,239 --> 00:06:59,359 And the car. 173 00:06:59,679 --> 00:07:01,199 Yeah, but it could have been worse. 174 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:02,279 How? 175 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,199 We could have ruined the car worse. 176 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,719 - Let' s keep this brief. You both smell horrible. 177 00:07:06,799 --> 00:07:09,639 Can you give me a description of what the assailant looked like? 178 00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:11,159 Description ' s tough. 179 00:07:11,239 --> 00:07:12,759 I mean, I ' d start with ' blobby'. 180 00:07:12,839 --> 00:07:14,959 - I ' d throw in ' gelatinous'. - ' Blobby'... 181 00:07:15,159 --> 00:07:16,079 Really good. 182 00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:17,615 Yeah. I saw some arms and legs in there. 183 00:07:17,639 --> 00:07:20,039 Yeah, there was also a couple of human faces. 184 00:07:20,119 --> 00:07:22,839 - I remember a face. - Yeah, there was. And then 185 00:07:22,919 --> 00:07:24,519 making that muffled noise. 186 00:07:24,599 --> 00:07:26,655 It was almost like there was a membrane or something. 187 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:27,839 The face was like 188 00:07:28,319 --> 00:07:29,775 - can I use your lunch box? - Yeah, go for it. 189 00:07:29,799 --> 00:07:32,239 - Hello. Hello. - Didn 't-No. 190 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,439 No, like this. 191 00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:37,159 That's good. 192 00:07:37,319 --> 00:07:39,295 That actually makes me think that you were doing it. 193 00:07:39,319 --> 00:07:40,679 - It wasn't me. I was in the car. 194 00:07:40,759 --> 00:07:41,919 But I could hear that noise. 195 00:07:41,999 --> 00:07:43,559 It does sound a little bit like a cat. 196 00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:44,839 No, a cat' s more like this. 197 00:07:47,039 --> 00:07:49,079 Yeah. I often make that mistake, though. 198 00:07:49,159 --> 00:07:51,839 Sometimes I think the neighbours are calling, ' Help, ' 199 00:07:51,919 --> 00:07:54,039 but really it's my cat calling ' meow'. 200 00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:56,119 - You don't have a cat. - Well, not anymore. 201 00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:57,359 Right, um... 202 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,839 Minogue, stay absolutely still. Don't move. 203 00:08:02,119 --> 00:08:03,119 What? 204 00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,759 - What is it? - Yeah, no. 205 00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:06,039 - Is it on me? - Yep. 206 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,319 - It's on me, isn't it? - Yep. 207 00:08:07,439 --> 00:08:08,799 I can feel it on my face. 208 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,255 - I'm gonna punch it. - Don't punch it! 209 00:08:10,279 --> 00:08:12,559 - Don't punch it. Don't punch it. Come here. Come, come. 210 00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:14,479 - Come over here. - Get it off! Get it off! 211 00:08:14,879 --> 00:08:16,039 - There you go. - Eugh! 212 00:08:16,879 --> 00:08:18,319 Eugh! That's suspicious. 213 00:08:18,399 --> 00:08:21,119 Right, well, I'm gonna get this to the lab. 214 00:08:21,279 --> 00:08:23,679 In the meanwhile, there have been reports of a horrible smell 215 00:08:23,719 --> 00:08:25,239 coming from the Waterloo area. 216 00:08:25,319 --> 00:08:26,975 To be honest, I did initially ignore the call 217 00:08:26,999 --> 00:08:28,575 cos I thought it was more of a council issue, 218 00:08:28,599 --> 00:08:30,599 but then they started to report missing pets. 219 00:08:30,679 --> 00:08:32,559 Should you really be ignoring calls, Sarge? 220 00:08:32,639 --> 00:08:33,879 Don't question me. 221 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,359 I don't bloody know who it is, do I, Neil? 222 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,199 I haven't opened the door yet. 223 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,615 Hello, ma' am. How' s it going? 224 00:08:47,639 --> 00:08:49,295 I'm Officer O' Leary. This is Officer Minogue. 225 00:08:49,319 --> 00:08:51,479 You are real police officers, I take it? 226 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,239 Well, of course we ' re actual real police officers, yes. 227 00:08:54,319 --> 00:08:55,935 Where else would we get the car, if we weren't 228 00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:57,839 - real police officers? - Oh, on eBay. 229 00:08:58,319 --> 00:08:59,359 Where is this happening? 230 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,215 We can get into that a bit later, but at the moment, 231 00:09:01,239 --> 00:09:02,599 we've just got some questions 232 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,319 about some reports from around this area. 233 00:09:04,399 --> 00:09:06,279 We ' d really love to come in and just ask you 234 00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:08,199 a couple of questions, if that would be OK. 235 00:09:08,279 --> 00:09:10,439 - Yes, that's fine. Wipe your feet, please. 236 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,959 What is going on with this real police officer thing? 237 00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:15,719 She ' s starting on the back foot, I can tell you that much. 238 00:09:16,079 --> 00:09:18,199 That's my husband in there. 239 00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:21,359 - Just ignore it. Those noises are pretty common. 240 00:09:21,439 --> 00:09:24,519 OK. So, look, how long has this smell been around? 241 00:09:24,599 --> 00:09:27,239 - Neil? - Oh, no, the exterior smell. 242 00:09:27,719 --> 00:09:28,719 Oh. 243 00:09:29,279 --> 00:09:30,399 Oh, a couple of weeks. 244 00:09:30,479 --> 00:09:33,639 Yeah, the plumbing ' s been very unreliable, you know? 245 00:09:33,719 --> 00:09:35,879 - Mm. - Ours is all right at the moment. 246 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:36,999 That's interesting. 247 00:09:37,079 --> 00:09:38,879 Look, do you have any suspicions-? 248 00:09:38,959 --> 00:09:42,199 Suspicions of what might...? 249 00:09:42,279 --> 00:09:45,039 - NEl I: Oh! - He has I BS. 250 00:09:45,119 --> 00:09:46,759 Just ignore it. It's very normal. 251 00:09:46,839 --> 00:09:48,599 Do you have any idea what' s causing it? 252 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:50,439 Well, we think it's genetic. 253 00:09:50,519 --> 00:09:51,519 Help! 254 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:53,999 Can't even bloody go to the toilet by himself. 255 00:09:54,079 --> 00:09:56,039 Excuse me. Sorry, Neil, can we come in? 256 00:09:56,119 --> 00:09:58,759 - Yes, do come in. - I do need some help, yes. 257 00:09:58,839 --> 00:09:59,879 OK. 258 00:10:02,319 --> 00:10:04,039 Oh, I don't think this is a police matter. 259 00:10:04,119 --> 00:10:06,359 - Oh, that is not normal. - That's not normal. 260 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,759 Don't resist! Do not resist! 261 00:10:13,839 --> 00:10:15,415 I don't think he ' s resisting on purpose. 262 00:10:15,439 --> 00:10:17,239 Neil, get out of the toilet! 263 00:10:17,319 --> 00:10:18,479 Stay calm, sir. 264 00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:23,959 We ' re sorry to inform you 265 00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:26,639 your husband ' s been swallowed by the toilet. 266 00:10:26,719 --> 00:10:27,959 That's awful. 267 00:10:28,039 --> 00:10:29,615 We ' ll continue to do everything we can. 268 00:10:29,639 --> 00:10:30,999 You haven't done anything. 269 00:10:31,079 --> 00:10:32,639 We did everything we can. 270 00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:34,999 NEl I: Get me out of here, please! 271 00:10:35,079 --> 00:10:36,559 Neil? Is that you? 272 00:10:36,639 --> 00:10:38,159 Of course it's me, Marlene. 273 00:10:38,239 --> 00:10:39,895 Who else would be hanging out in the drain? 274 00:10:39,919 --> 00:10:41,839 - I don't know. One of your weirdo mates? 275 00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:44,039 I need help! 276 00:10:44,119 --> 00:10:45,319 Follow the voice. 277 00:10:45,399 --> 00:10:46,559 - Ow! - Neil? 278 00:10:46,639 --> 00:10:47,559 He ' s in the shower hole. 279 00:10:47,639 --> 00:10:49,799 - He ' s gone over there. That way, that way, that way. 280 00:10:50,479 --> 00:10:51,919 - Are you there, Neil? - Ow! 281 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,119 - This way. Go, go, go, go! - Go, go, go! 282 00:10:54,359 --> 00:10:56,679 I'm moving! Ow! I think my claustrophobia' s kicking in. 283 00:10:56,719 --> 00:10:58,359 Neil! Neil, stay there OK? 284 00:10:58,439 --> 00:10:59,999 - Don't move! - Stay put. 285 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:01,879 Don't use the toilet. 286 00:11:01,959 --> 00:11:04,119 No, I can hear him. 287 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,519 - Hang on. Wait. - Shh! 288 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,239 - Yep, down this way. - Down this way. 289 00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:09,559 He ' s in some sort of subterranean drainage system. 290 00:11:09,639 --> 00:11:11,479 - Help! Ow! - Look! 291 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,255 - It's OK, sir. We ' re gonna help you! 292 00:11:13,279 --> 00:11:14,375 We ' re gonna help you, sir. 293 00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:16,159 - This is never gonna work. - It is working. 294 00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:18,359 - I stand corrected. - He ' s very rubbery and smelly. 295 00:11:18,439 --> 00:11:19,879 Are you normally this rubbery, sir? 296 00:11:20,319 --> 00:11:21,559 Not normally, no. 297 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,159 Are you normally this smelly? 298 00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,879 That's another case closed for Officer O' Leary and myself. 299 00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:27,719 As you can see, the victim is recovering 300 00:11:27,799 --> 00:11:28,959 in the boot of the car. 301 00:11:29,039 --> 00:11:30,759 Generally, he ' d be in the back seat. 302 00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:32,599 But given the slime and the stench, 303 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,399 he sort of ruled himself out there. 304 00:11:34,479 --> 00:11:36,559 But the main thing is, we've rescued him. 305 00:11:36,639 --> 00:11:39,279 There are at least five or six other guys trapped down there. 306 00:11:39,359 --> 00:11:41,495 Well, I mean, at least they're not in immediate danger. 307 00:11:41,519 --> 00:11:44,679 I felt like my body was becoming liquid 308 00:11:44,759 --> 00:11:49,119 and my mind was becoming part of some malignant hive brain. 309 00:11:49,199 --> 00:11:51,295 I think what can happen is when you hear those sorts 310 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,759 - of words like ' malignant'... - ' Hive mind. ' 311 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,239 ' Hive mind '. I mean, 312 00:11:55,359 --> 00:11:57,639 very easy for the general public to start panicking, 313 00:11:57,719 --> 00:11:59,655 but I think that's the last thing we wanna do here. 314 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,879 That thing is going to take more lives. 315 00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:04,639 - We know, mate. Good as gold. - Yeah. 316 00:12:04,719 --> 00:12:06,599 But there ' s really no need for concern. 317 00:12:08,879 --> 00:12:10,999 - Ah. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming to the lab. 318 00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:12,799 Um, I've been doing some research. 319 00:12:12,879 --> 00:12:14,495 Are you the most qualified for that, Sarge? 320 00:12:14,519 --> 00:12:16,599 Well, seeing as nobody else knows about this 321 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:17,839 in the entire world, 322 00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:19,999 I'm actually the world ' s foremost expert 323 00:12:20,079 --> 00:12:22,319 at this phenomenon at this present time. 324 00:12:22,399 --> 00:12:24,599 Yeah, and we talked to Forensics before as well, 325 00:12:24,719 --> 00:12:25,999 and they helped us quite a bit. 326 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,879 - These are their lab coats. - Yes. Yes. Yes. 327 00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:29,319 That's true. That stays between us. 328 00:12:29,399 --> 00:12:30,919 They did help a little bit. 329 00:12:30,999 --> 00:12:32,615 But mostly I've been doing my own research. 330 00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:34,959 I've been reading up blogs about blobs. 331 00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:36,519 Did you figure out what it is? 332 00:12:36,599 --> 00:12:38,135 Yeah. I ran some tests on that little sample 333 00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:39,415 that I got off your neck, Minogue, 334 00:12:39,439 --> 00:12:41,159 and I found some startling results. 335 00:12:41,239 --> 00:12:43,599 The substance you collected is a fatberg. 336 00:12:44,199 --> 00:12:46,519 That's not that startling, in isolation, is it? 337 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,959 Cos obviously fatbergs are a thing in Wellington waterways. 338 00:12:49,039 --> 00:12:50,959 OK. Also, it's sentient. 339 00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:52,735 - That is startling. - That's really startling. 340 00:12:52,759 --> 00:12:55,079 Parker, reveal the maze. 341 00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:56,199 OK. Here we go. 342 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:01,119 Oh, it's just kinda getting stuck in the corner. 343 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,495 - I said it was sentient. I never said it was intelligent. 344 00:13:03,519 --> 00:13:06,879 Just gone round that corner, eh? And then down that way. 345 00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:08,519 - Yeah. - That's what I ' d have done. 346 00:13:08,599 --> 00:13:10,615 Very easy to be critical of the blob from this angle, 347 00:13:10,639 --> 00:13:12,559 isn't it? We get to see the whole thing. 348 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,959 But from the blob ' s eye view, 349 00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:17,039 you know, it's just surrounded by walls. 350 00:13:17,119 --> 00:13:20,319 Now, this sample here is far too small 351 00:13:20,439 --> 00:13:22,479 to take over my body, per se. 352 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:26,159 But, um, Parker, show them diagram one. 353 00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:31,239 OK, so, for example, the fatberg began consuming small animals 354 00:13:31,319 --> 00:13:33,759 such as this goldfish here, and then grew in size, 355 00:13:33,839 --> 00:13:35,479 and then ingested, say, a cat, 356 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,599 then grew larger and ingested larger animals in turn, 357 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,959 so, say, this octopus, for example. 358 00:13:41,039 --> 00:13:42,559 And then larger still, 359 00:13:42,639 --> 00:13:45,919 and here we've used a giraffe, just to keep it fun, you know? 360 00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:48,599 It then grew larger and larger still, 361 00:13:48,799 --> 00:13:50,999 moving on to consuming human beings. 362 00:13:51,079 --> 00:13:53,679 And here we have the end result, which is a rather 363 00:13:53,759 --> 00:13:56,719 epic proportion of accumulated fat 364 00:13:56,799 --> 00:13:58,439 and human beings and animals. 365 00:13:58,719 --> 00:14:00,375 I'm not really worried about any of these. 366 00:14:00,399 --> 00:14:01,839 - No. - But it's this one, isn't it? 367 00:14:01,919 --> 00:14:03,359 It's when it starts consuming humans, 368 00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:05,319 because it affects us personally. 369 00:14:05,439 --> 00:14:08,159 - Parker, reveal the map. - Yeah, sure. 370 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,039 Sorry. Sorry, guys. 371 00:14:16,359 --> 00:14:18,879 Now, these are all locations of reports 372 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,319 of suspicious-looking blobs all around the cify. 373 00:14:21,439 --> 00:14:25,439 My theory is that this thing resides deep in the heart 374 00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:26,839 of the sewer system. 375 00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:29,279 We need to stop this thing, before all of Wellington 376 00:14:29,359 --> 00:14:32,119 is completely covered in fat. 377 00:14:33,119 --> 00:14:34,679 Would that be so bad, though? 378 00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:36,559 Wouldn't be comfortable, would it? 379 00:14:40,359 --> 00:14:41,559 So, Officer Minogue and myself 380 00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:44,039 have descended into the Wellington sewer system 381 00:14:44,119 --> 00:14:45,839 to investigate the fatberg. 382 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,479 It's a complex network of tunnels and drains 383 00:14:48,559 --> 00:14:50,279 which collect the cify' s waste product 384 00:14:50,359 --> 00:14:52,559 - O' Leary. O' Leary. - Yeah? 385 00:14:52,799 --> 00:14:56,239 - Do you reckon my bum looks... disappearing in these? 386 00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:58,599 Minogue, I'm just talking to the camera 387 00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:01,319 about what we ' re doing down here in the sewer system. 388 00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:03,999 It's absolutely vital when we ' re in these new 389 00:15:04,079 --> 00:15:06,759 and potentially hazardous environments that we ' re wearing 390 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,279 the appropriate safefy gears at all time. 391 00:15:11,559 --> 00:15:12,679 You fellas all ready? 392 00:15:13,239 --> 00:15:14,359 - Yes. - I'm ready. 393 00:15:14,439 --> 00:15:17,359 - So, we ' re in the tunnels. Pretty hazardous in here. 394 00:15:17,479 --> 00:15:18,799 Top, bottom. 395 00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:21,119 You ' ll notice the floor is concrete, 396 00:15:21,199 --> 00:15:22,959 so I've got 45 rules for you. 397 00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:25,119 All of them - don't run. All right? 398 00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:27,279 Now, come on, then. Follow me. 399 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:29,399 These drains are woefully neglected, 400 00:15:29,479 --> 00:15:31,575 so I always knew something like this was gonna happen. 401 00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:34,599 What? That a sentient fatberg would start swallowing people? 402 00:15:34,679 --> 00:15:38,239 Well, I couldn't predict that - obviously not that. 403 00:15:38,319 --> 00:15:40,599 But something very similar to it. 404 00:15:41,199 --> 00:15:43,199 So, it could obviously take a really long time 405 00:15:43,279 --> 00:15:45,999 to find what it is we ' re actually down here looking for. 406 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,519 Um, but... 407 00:15:48,639 --> 00:15:50,215 Actually, this is just what we ' re looking for. 408 00:15:50,239 --> 00:15:52,119 - Great police work, O' Leary. - Thank you. 409 00:15:52,199 --> 00:15:54,839 The good news is that this has shrunk considerably. 410 00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:57,799 And also the fatberg seems to now be very low on energy. 411 00:15:57,879 --> 00:15:59,839 So that's actually a really good result for us. 412 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:02,719 Yeah. This is why I think Officer O' Leary and myself 413 00:16:02,799 --> 00:16:04,959 would make great candidates for detective. 414 00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:06,879 We ' re always detecting things like this, 415 00:16:06,959 --> 00:16:09,719 and that makes up probably 10oĮo of being a detective. 416 00:16:09,999 --> 00:16:12,039 - Possibly even more than 10oĮo. - Mm. 417 00:16:12,159 --> 00:16:14,159 - EERl E VOICE: Help us! - What' s that? 418 00:16:15,319 --> 00:16:17,199 M lCHELLE: Oi! No running. 419 00:16:17,719 --> 00:16:18,759 M I NOGUE: Walking. 420 00:16:20,599 --> 00:16:22,279 - Oi. - That's grown considerably. 421 00:16:22,359 --> 00:16:24,199 Never saw anything like that before. 422 00:16:26,439 --> 00:16:28,535 - M I NOGUE: We ' re closing on it. We ' re pursing the suspect 423 00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:31,239 through a labyrinthine structure. 424 00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:35,399 He ' s very cunning - or she, or they - for a blob. 425 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:37,839 We ' re definitely making ground. 426 00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:39,279 Wait. 427 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,479 It stopped. 428 00:16:42,519 --> 00:16:43,679 I think it's coming back. 429 00:16:44,679 --> 00:16:45,999 Did we actually finalise a plan 430 00:16:46,079 --> 00:16:47,999 on what we were gonna do if we caught up with it? 431 00:16:48,279 --> 00:16:49,999 - Negative. - Tactical retreat. 432 00:16:50,439 --> 00:16:51,439 Walking. 433 00:16:52,559 --> 00:16:53,719 This way. This way! 434 00:17:01,119 --> 00:17:02,199 It's gone. 435 00:17:02,279 --> 00:17:04,095 Yeah, I think it slipped down one of the pipes. 436 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:05,839 Well, where do those pipes go? 437 00:17:05,919 --> 00:17:07,559 Uh, over there. 438 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:11,879 That's a dead end. 439 00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:14,119 - It's a dead end. Feels like it's bad karma 440 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,239 for teasing that little blob in the maze. 441 00:17:16,319 --> 00:17:19,639 Join us. Join us. 442 00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:22,799 Maybe, seeing as it' s sentient, I can reason with it. 443 00:17:22,879 --> 00:17:25,479 Hey, look, um, we just need to have a bit of a chat, OK, guys? 444 00:17:25,559 --> 00:17:26,775 Um, what you're doing is not OK. 445 00:17:26,799 --> 00:17:28,119 - It is OK. - No, no, no. 446 00:17:28,199 --> 00:17:29,255 - It's OK. - Join the fatberg. 447 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:30,775 We ' re not particularly interested in being 448 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,055 - part of a fatberg. - Yeah, not interested. 449 00:17:32,079 --> 00:17:33,279 You ' ll like it. It's nice. 450 00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:35,719 - Join us! - Help! Minogue! Assistance! 451 00:17:35,799 --> 00:17:37,519 - I'm on my way! - Walking. 452 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,479 - I'm on my way slowly. - Let me go! Let me go! 453 00:17:39,839 --> 00:17:42,279 Please release me. I'm a member of the New Zealand Police. 454 00:17:42,919 --> 00:17:44,335 I don't wanna be part of the fatberg! 455 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,239 Can you give us a hand here, mate? 456 00:17:46,319 --> 00:17:48,359 Rather than just filming, if you could help us. 457 00:17:48,439 --> 00:17:49,679 Thanks. Appreciate it. 458 00:17:53,479 --> 00:17:55,399 Come on... 459 00:17:57,439 --> 00:17:58,639 It's got the cameraman. 460 00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:02,039 Feels like it' s too late for him. 461 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:03,399 It's definitely too late. 462 00:18:04,479 --> 00:18:05,679 It's coming after us. 463 00:18:06,279 --> 00:18:07,879 Looks to have renewed energy. 464 00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,559 M I NOGUE: Requesting permission to walk much, much faster. 465 00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:12,199 Much faster. 466 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,039 Keep going. Hopefully it can't go up stairs. 467 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,519 - Aw, stairs! - Stairs? Oh, stairs! 468 00:18:19,839 --> 00:18:21,199 M I NOGUE: Go, go, go, go, go! 469 00:18:21,279 --> 00:18:22,999 - I'm just waiting. - Go, go, go! 470 00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:24,239 O' Leary, go, go! 471 00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:26,919 Go! Go! It's coming! 472 00:18:26,999 --> 00:18:29,359 - O' Leary, go, go, go! - Go, go, go, go! 473 00:18:30,599 --> 00:18:32,079 You're worthless. 474 00:18:32,439 --> 00:18:33,559 You're nothing. 475 00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:36,439 Parker, affecting its self-esteem has done nothing. 476 00:18:36,519 --> 00:18:37,919 How is your research coming? 477 00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:39,879 I've googled how to destroy fat. 478 00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:42,919 It keeps just showing me ads for my local gyms. 479 00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:44,559 Wellington Gyms for Him. 480 00:18:44,879 --> 00:18:46,239 Burn Dat Fat. 481 00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:47,839 Hey. 482 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,319 That's actually a good idea, Parker. 483 00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:50,679 You think I should join? 484 00:18:50,759 --> 00:18:52,839 - No, not that. How do you destroy fat? 485 00:18:53,639 --> 00:18:54,799 You burn it. 486 00:19:06,239 --> 00:19:07,399 Get out of there, Minogue. 487 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,760 I thought that thing was gonna kill me and eat me alive! 488 00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:11,575 - Immediately! What? That doesn't make any sense. 489 00:19:11,599 --> 00:19:13,159 Quick, quick, quick! Yeah, good. 490 00:19:13,599 --> 00:19:16,479 We regret to inform you that one of the other camera guys 491 00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:18,279 has been taken by the fatberg. 492 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:21,879 I think his name was Ben or Evan or Bevan. 493 00:19:21,959 --> 00:19:24,679 - Kevin. Kevin? - Our deepest condolences. 494 00:19:24,759 --> 00:19:26,615 The good news is, though, that we have managed 495 00:19:26,639 --> 00:19:28,839 to contain the fatberg in the sewers. 496 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,679 So that's good news 497 00:19:30,759 --> 00:19:32,719 - Excuse me. - Great work all round, team. 498 00:19:32,799 --> 00:19:34,959 - Yeah, absolutely. I mean, obviously... 499 00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:36,639 Wait for that guy to finish. 500 00:19:36,719 --> 00:19:38,335 It's a new kind of breakdancing, it must be. 501 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:39,399 Probably doing a TikTok. 502 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,839 In my opinion, that doesn't look good. 503 00:19:42,919 --> 00:19:44,719 That's our-my favourite fish and chip shop. 504 00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,839 - Save them! Save them! Save them! 505 00:19:48,239 --> 00:19:49,519 Too late. Too late. 506 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:00,919 Parking ' s a bit off. 507 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,535 - Still awake, Sarge? Have you been to sleep? 508 00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:04,079 - No time for sleep. Cify' s at stake. 509 00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:06,015 Turns out the best way to take this thing out 510 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,959 is to explode it from within the inside. 511 00:20:08,039 --> 00:20:09,359 Come on. Let' s go. 512 00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,559 Deploying payload! 513 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,439 - Oh my God. That woman ' s in danger. 514 00:20:15,519 --> 00:20:16,879 Quickly! Go, help pull her out. 515 00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:17,999 We ' ll save you! 516 00:20:18,079 --> 00:20:20,599 You've got nothing to worry about. We've got you. 517 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,199 - Don't light it yet. There ' s human lives in there. 518 00:20:24,279 --> 00:20:26,559 Don't worry! We ' ll save you! 519 00:20:26,639 --> 00:20:28,359 She was unsaveable, Sarge. 520 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:31,359 Parker, light the fuse. 521 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,679 - It's too moist, Sarge. - Use the flame to dry it out. 522 00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:35,319 - Light it quickly, Parker! - Parker! 523 00:20:35,399 --> 00:20:36,719 - Hurry up! - Go, Parker! 524 00:20:36,799 --> 00:20:38,639 Time is of the essence, Parker! 525 00:20:38,719 --> 00:20:40,359 Let' s go! Let' s go! 526 00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:42,559 Go, go, go! Go! Run for cover! 527 00:20:42,639 --> 00:20:44,119 OK. 528 00:20:45,079 --> 00:20:47,119 This is gonna be a good one, I reckon. Eh? 529 00:20:47,199 --> 00:20:48,199 Sure it's lit? 530 00:20:48,279 --> 00:20:49,615 Doesn't look like it' s lit anymore. 531 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:51,519 I saw a light going when you lit it. 532 00:20:51,599 --> 00:20:53,135 I guess that wick must've got rained on. 533 00:20:53,159 --> 00:20:54,359 It's not gonna work. 534 00:20:54,439 --> 00:20:56,319 That thing ' s gonna absorb the whole cify now. 535 00:20:56,399 --> 00:20:57,519 Can't win ' em all, Sarge. 536 00:20:57,559 --> 00:20:59,559 Look, I reckon I should go and have a look at it. 537 00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:01,255 I reckon O' Leary might as well look. She ' s the 538 00:21:01,279 --> 00:21:02,559 - Bravest. - Closest. 539 00:21:02,999 --> 00:21:04,479 I'm gonna go. Ready? 540 00:21:04,799 --> 00:21:06,359 Three, two, one. 541 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:10,559 Argh! 542 00:21:11,279 --> 00:21:12,479 Right in my eye. 543 00:21:12,679 --> 00:21:13,679 Eugh! 544 00:21:13,719 --> 00:21:15,215 So, um, we've dealt with the problem. 545 00:21:15,239 --> 00:21:17,559 - The sewers have been damaged. - Irreparably. 546 00:21:17,639 --> 00:21:19,415 We ' re hoping they can be repaired shortly. 547 00:21:19,439 --> 00:21:21,199 Obviously there were some casualties. 548 00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:22,719 It was a really tough judgement call, 549 00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:24,239 but if we hadn't acted in time, 550 00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:26,135 then the whole cify would have become a fatberg. 551 00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:27,679 Although the majorify of the feedback 552 00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:29,959 coming from inside the fatberg was positive. 553 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,575 Yeah, but we ' re pretty sure that most people 554 00:21:31,599 --> 00:21:33,479 didn't want to become part of an enormous blob. 555 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,719 Just depends whether you ' re a team player or not. 556 00:21:35,799 --> 00:21:37,839 Hey. Hey, look, look, look. 557 00:21:37,919 --> 00:21:39,039 The people survived. 558 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,519 Oh, look - Evan. 559 00:21:40,639 --> 00:21:41,679 - Kevin? - Kevin. 560 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:45,399 You see, I thought there might be, like, a slim possibilify 561 00:21:45,479 --> 00:21:48,039 that the elastic nature of the fatberg 562 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:49,679 would act as a shock absorber, 563 00:21:49,759 --> 00:21:53,039 thereby absorbing the impact of the explosion 564 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,199 - and protecting the people. - Mm. 565 00:21:55,279 --> 00:21:57,239 - Did you? - Yeah. 566 00:21:58,119 --> 00:21:59,639 They're looking a bit worse for wear. 567 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:00,719 Look at that one. 568 00:22:01,679 --> 00:22:03,439 - Covered in goop. - And that one. 569 00:22:03,519 --> 00:22:05,879 I still maintain, you know, great work by the team. 570 00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:08,399 - Oh, yeah. No, we nailed it. - Absolutely. 571 00:22:09,159 --> 00:22:10,199 Really good result. 572 00:22:10,279 --> 00:22:13,119 Hey, uh, there ' s some of it still alive there. 573 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:14,319 Oh no. 574 00:22:14,559 --> 00:22:15,799 Anyone got a lighter?