1 00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:08,520 Whoever heard of a heatwave in the Arctic? 2 00:01:08,530 --> 00:01:10,320 Welcome to the new normal. 3 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:14,510 We're standing on a gigantic ice cap, and it's 32 Fahrenheit. 4 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,600 Welcome to the Arctic summer. 5 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,130 Fahrenheit? 6 00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:21,500 Wait, did you just use that antiquated Imperial measurement? 7 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,100 Yeah, I did, Sweden. 8 00:01:24,110 --> 00:01:26,870 I'm from Norway, A-hole. Not Sweden! 9 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,100 YANKEE: Is there any difference? 10 00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:30,670 You Americans! You're so out of step with the rest of the world. 11 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,470 You're a scientist, for God's sake. 12 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,310 Glaciologist. 13 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,880 You two knob jockeys sound like a couple of Sheilas. 14 00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:40,650 Let's get these core samples and get back to the outpost. 15 00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:47,230 (DOGS BARKING) 16 00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:50,390 Guys, we hit something. 17 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,030 (WHIRRING) This is some mean ice. 18 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,500 That's why they call it the Old Cold! 19 00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:57,670 Yeah, well, I reckon just increase the bit speed. 20 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,610 Let's blast right through it. 21 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,070 Hey, guys? 22 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:06,120 I'm getting a seismic spike in the ice. 23 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,490 Yeah, well, it's probably just an isostatic rebound. 24 00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:14,980 (SCANNER BEEPS) 25 00:02:14,990 --> 00:02:16,790 Like hell, it is. 26 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:20,360 I'm getting a big-ass magnetic anomaly on my screen. 27 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:23,890 Whatever it is, it's alive, and it's big. 28 00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:26,430 There are no big life forms that live in solid ice. 29 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,960 Maybe the backscatter effect brought up a rock formation. 30 00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:30,670 Yeah, and maybe it's the Easter Bunny! 31 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,370 This is not a rock, and it sure as shit isn't the Easter Bunny. 32 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:35,470 Dumbass! 33 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,410 (RUMBLING) (GRUNTS) 34 00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:43,850 (DOGS HOWLING) 35 00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:48,520 Check it out. 36 00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,970 (CREATURE SHRIEKING) 37 00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:05,200 Aussie! 38 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:08,010 (DOGS BARKING) 39 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,980 DUTCH: Aussie? Aussie? Aussie, do you copy? 40 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,480 (CREATURE GROWLS) 41 00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,080 DUTCH: What the hell? 42 00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:21,090 - What... - Get it out! Get it out! 43 00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:24,860 Come on, get it out. Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on, Yank! 44 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,660 (YELLS) No! No! 45 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:31,630 (SCREAMING) Yankee! 46 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,320 Yank! 47 00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:36,830 (YANKEE'S SCREAMING ECHOES) 48 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,330 Yank? 49 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,200 No. 50 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,380 No! 51 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,880 (GRUNTING) 52 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,660 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 53 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:09,140 (GROANING) 54 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:12,840 No! 55 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:47,040 (CHIMING) 56 00:05:16,580 --> 00:05:18,630 (ALARM BLARES) 57 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:27,480 Really, Gummer? A motion detector? 58 00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:36,390 Perfection. 59 00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:41,820 Man alive, it's hot as balls out there! 60 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,790 Hands where I can see them, partner. 61 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,830 Oh, gee-whiz, Gummer! You know who I am! 62 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,500 It's me, Special Agent Dalkwed. 63 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,840 Do it, Agent Dickweed. 64 00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:56,780 Are you threatening a federal officer? 65 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,810 That all depends, Taxman. 66 00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:03,250 Sticks and stones. Is that a pellet gun, Gummer? 67 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,550 You bet your sweet ass it is! 68 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,920 Oh, since when do you play with toys? 69 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:11,190 Since none of your damn business. You armed? 70 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,090 Of course, I'm armed. 71 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:17,390 All Special Agents with the United States Treasury are armed. 72 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,560 You know that. 73 00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:21,630 Special Agent! You're a bean counter. 74 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:25,170 This here is private property in an open-carry state. 75 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,770 And you wouldn't happen to have any financial interest 76 00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:29,470 in said property, now would you? 77 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,210 Nope! Go slap a lien somewhere else. 78 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,340 Already have. 79 00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:36,910 Hey. 80 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:38,850 I see you've changed teams. 81 00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,680 Hmm? 82 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:43,120 No, just hats! 83 00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:46,120 Well, it was a miracle the Cubbies won that series. 84 00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:49,220 And frankly, Gummer, that's what you're gonna need, 85 00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,000 a miracle. 86 00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:56,270 'Cause right now, your ass is in my hands. 87 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,500 Your point, Dickweed? 88 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:02,670 Your tax position has been deemed frivolous by the IRS 89 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,710 and your property has hereby been seized. 90 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,580 What? You can't! 91 00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,750 I can, and I did! 92 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,080 The IRS owns you, Gummer, 93 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:16,620 until such time as we can arrange for confiscation of any and all items 94 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:18,720 deemed suitable for government auction. 95 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,690 You parasitic son of a bitch! 96 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,460 Yeah, your... 97 00:07:23,570 --> 00:07:25,290 (CHUCKLES) 98 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:30,530 Your well-endowed battery of firearms might raise enough to make a dent 99 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:33,900 in your failure to file penalties and interest. 100 00:07:33,910 --> 00:07:38,070 I detect the odorous stench of Schadenfreude, Agent Dickweed! 101 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,410 I will see you in court! 102 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:43,620 In court? Oh. Oh, no! 103 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:46,690 We're way past that, Gummer. 104 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,450 Way past. 105 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:50,020 Out of here! 106 00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:51,590 Goodbye, Gummer. 107 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,160 And don't let the door dislodge that poker up your ass! 108 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,760 Oh, I'll be really careful. 109 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,410 - TRAVIS: Another satisfied customer? - What? 110 00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:18,250 Did you miss me? 111 00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:21,120 Yeah, like a boil on my ass. 112 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,950 I see you got the supply req. 113 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,160 Oh, yeah. That eighth text was a charm. 114 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,590 "Hey, welcome home, sonny boy!" 115 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,460 "Oh, good to see you." "How long's it been?" 116 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,500 "Four or five weeks?" "Okay. How'd the video shoot go?" 117 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:39,700 Fascist jackals! 118 00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:45,340 Ooh, Government plates. That can't be good. 119 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,510 Let me guess. IRS? 120 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,180 They've got no right to waltz in here and seize a man's property. 121 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,350 Come on, Burt. You've been flipping off the Feds longer than Wesley Snipes. 122 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,620 That's got to be a record. 123 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:57,220 This is the very thing that sparked the Boston Tea Party. 124 00:08:57,230 --> 00:09:00,560 BOTH: No taxation without representation! 125 00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:04,500 It's a good thing Jodi decided to stay at that law firm in Reno, huh? 126 00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:07,560 - Lets you squat here? - Nobody's squatting. 127 00:09:07,570 --> 00:09:09,200 I'm managing the store now. 128 00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,630 Really? Congratulations. 129 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,700 And I really love what you've done with the place. 130 00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:15,670 You really put the hyphen back in anal-retentive. Jeez. 131 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,210 I can do without the sarcasm, son. 132 00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:20,740 Oh, come on, Burt. Don't be hurt. 133 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:23,810 All right, now that I'm back, let's hit that reset button, huh? 134 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:25,680 Put some fresh content up on YouTube, 135 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,880 try and resurrect that Bull's-Eye Brand. 136 00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:31,820 Not doing prepper videos anymore. My director quit on me. 137 00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:33,050 No, he didn't. He's right here. 138 00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:36,330 I just had a small mental health break. 139 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,330 What's up with that hat? Wait a minute. 140 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,400 You change teams? 141 00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:44,070 No, just hats! 142 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,200 Take it easy, Burt. Look, I know you hate taking direction, 143 00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:49,470 and my style's way too improvisational for you, okay? 144 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,110 Lord, you're giving me a headache. 145 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,310 Come on, Burt, meet me in the middle. 146 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,950 Make sure you put $5 in that cash box. 147 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,450 For what? 148 00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:02,680 That beer doesn't come free. 149 00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:04,650 You're closing up? 150 00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:06,190 Dude, it's not Miller time yet. 151 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,560 You can't find your beach. 152 00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:09,190 Time for some shut-eye. 153 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,330 Since when do you "shut-eye" in the middle of the afternoon? 154 00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:14,530 Since you showed up! 155 00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:18,540 You wonder why I go to strip clubs! 156 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,590 What the hell happened here? 157 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,880 Something attacked them from under the ice. 158 00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:35,520 It can't be! 159 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,230 (ROARS) 160 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,810 (PHONE RINGING) 161 00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:03,940 (GROANING) 162 00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:05,540 Chang's. 163 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:08,780 (SCREAMS) 164 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,650 Yo, Burt! What's up? 165 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:14,450 Calisthenics. Feel free to join in. 166 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,220 I think I'll pass. 167 00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:19,250 You wanna earn your keep, go stock some shelves. 168 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,720 I'd love to, but you've got a phone call. 169 00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:23,390 Take a message. 170 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,060 I tried, 171 00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:27,400 but there's a lady holding on the line, 172 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:30,400 who's got a very sexy phone voice, by the way. 173 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:33,640 She told me to tell you that they've got, uh... 174 00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,440 I can't read my writing. 175 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:39,210 What does that word... What does that say? That she's got, uh... 176 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,480 - Graboids? Where? - Mr. Gummer? 177 00:12:42,490 --> 00:12:43,910 Affirmative. Who's this? 178 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,650 Dr. Rita Sims. I'm calling from Nunavut Province, Canada. 179 00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,280 We're 67 degrees north. 180 00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:51,190 - That's the Canadian Arctic. - Yes, it is. 181 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,960 I'm the station leader of an international research team. 182 00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:56,190 We' re based at Boîte Canyon. 183 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,990 How'd you get this number? You from the government? 184 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,190 Is she hot? 185 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,730 Well, I have an associate familiar with your work. 186 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,470 I think your associate must be half a bubble off plumb. 187 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,770 That was my first reaction, but she's actually very bright. 188 00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:10,840 She knows a lot about Graboid mythology. 189 00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:14,310 Graboids are no myth, but they're a desert phenomenon. 190 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,580 I think this is a colossal time suck, Miss, uh... 191 00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:19,380 Dr. Sims. 192 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:22,680 Graboids do not and cannot exist in the Arctic, Dr. Sims! 193 00:13:22,690 --> 00:13:24,850 - Impossible. - Ask her if she's hot. 194 00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:27,620 Improbable but not impossible. 195 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:29,220 - Who's this? - This is Valerie. 196 00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:31,830 First, let me say that, as a major Graboid enthusiast, 197 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,600 I have admired your work for years. Here's what I know. 198 00:13:35,610 --> 00:13:38,300 Graboids are subterranean worm-like predator 199 00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:42,400 unlike any other life form cataloged in Earth's genetic or fossil record. 200 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:44,940 When fully grown, a Graboid can reach up 201 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:47,310 to 10 meters in length and weigh up to 20 tons. 202 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,680 Their semi-rigid internal structure is covered by a leathery carapace. 203 00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:53,660 They're daytime hunters and have no eyes, 204 00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:56,690 but what's most fascinating to me about their predatory acuity 205 00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,920 is that it's based on vibration. 206 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,890 Go on. I'm listening. 207 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,990 They have a massive black armored beak and two hooked mandibles, 208 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,460 one on either side of their jaw. 209 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,600 The species is Precambrian and have long and powerful snake-like tentacles, 210 00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:12,070 which can reach three meters to ensnare their prey. 211 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,640 If you'd like, I can give you the 411 212 00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:15,040 On the morphological subspecies 213 00:14:15,050 --> 00:14:17,840 known as the Ass Blaster a.k.a. Mexicana Combustus. 214 00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:20,880 You're a treasure-trove of Graboidology, Miss, but I... 215 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:24,510 You've hunted and killed them on two different continents, Mr. Gummer. 216 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,380 That's why I insisted that we call. 217 00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:29,420 But why are you so sure this is a Graboid attack? 218 00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:32,820 The kill site has all the telltale signs. 219 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,420 Except for location. 220 00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:38,460 I don't know. Call it a gut feeling, intuition. 221 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:41,370 We need your help, Mr. Gummer, and we need it ASAP! 222 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:44,200 Think of the adventure, Graboids in the Arctic. 223 00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:46,610 This could be a whole new ballgame. 224 00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:49,000 Batter up! 225 00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:51,140 (CHUCKLES) Yes. 226 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,210 You never asked if she was hot! 227 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:59,360 (ROOSTER CROWS) 228 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:19,900 - Where are you going? - Round two! I'm coming with. 229 00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,640 Request denied. 230 00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:25,210 What? Come on, here, stop being Burt for a minute, 231 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:26,880 and logic this thing out with me. 232 00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:30,380 This is our chance to revive Burt Gummer's Bull's-Eye Brand, 233 00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:32,510 get you free of the taxman, dude! 234 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,420 Let's be honest. You've got a lot of red in your ledger. 235 00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:37,620 My financial status is none of your damn beeswax. 236 00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:39,150 And you'll just be in the way. 237 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,520 Oh, like I was in South Africa? Huh? 238 00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:45,230 That was a one-off! Nothing more. 239 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:49,230 You're looking at this through the wrong end of the telescope here, friend. 240 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,730 What about your legacy, huh? 241 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:51,930 What about it? 242 00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:54,470 Do you know of any other Graboid hunters out there? 243 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,500 Uh, I don't. 244 00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:59,570 I know, you know, Bigfoot hunters... No! 245 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:02,640 You're Burt Gummer. You're a one-off! 246 00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:05,750 Come on, man, teach me! Pay it forward. 247 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,480 Oh, I'm not dead yet. 248 00:16:07,490 --> 00:16:11,020 I know, and I'm not interested in talking about your mortality, either, 249 00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:13,450 but think about it. Who's gonna fill your shoes 250 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:16,560 when you can no longer outrun or outgun these beasts, huh? 251 00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:18,190 I've got to tell you something. 252 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,500 Burt Gummer's got some big-ass shoes to fill. 253 00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:23,030 Size 12s. 254 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,030 I've seen you in the locker room. 255 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,040 And you're my heir apparent. Is that it? 256 00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:28,770 You already led me through one Graboid gauntlet. 257 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:33,370 - There's a lot you still don't know. - Exactly my point. 258 00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:36,820 Learning can be fun! Rosetta Stone me, dawg. 259 00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:40,280 It was a decent enough combat primer. 260 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,220 Hell, yeah, it was! I was your wingman. 261 00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,190 Wingman? More like wingnut! 262 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,320 Come on, that's... 263 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,590 That's a little harsh, I think. 264 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,690 (SIGHS) 265 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,190 Damn it! 266 00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:56,870 Are you willing to follow orders? 267 00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:58,700 I mean, sometimes, I don't... 268 00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:02,540 Look, the most important six inches on the battlefield 269 00:17:02,550 --> 00:17:05,020 are between your ears. You got that? 270 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,610 I'd like to think I have more. I think I'm 6.5. 271 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,410 Don't crack wise with me. 272 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,780 Sir, yes, sir! 273 00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:12,980 And have you filled out 274 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:18,690 the requisite non-resident special exemption RCMP-5590 form? 275 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,990 Sir... 276 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:24,990 - What? - The RCMP-5590 form! 277 00:17:25,070 --> 00:17:28,560 For that firearm you're planning on bringing into Canada. 278 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:30,270 No. 279 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,580 Well, then you better download one and fill it out pronto. 280 00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,940 Grab your arctic gear. 281 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,710 Man! 282 00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:43,610 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 283 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,430 Welcome to the Great White North, eh! 284 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,100 Otherwise known as Nowheresville. 285 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:10,170 You're about 1,000 miles north of there. 286 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,310 You're somewhere between, uh, 287 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,810 Ain't-Never-Been and Don't-Wanna-Go. 288 00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,680 TRAVIS: Where are all the glaciers? 289 00:18:17,690 --> 00:18:22,920 Melting. Sled dog unemployment's at an all-time high. 290 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,490 How much longer till we're there? 291 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:29,160 Not far. Just around the bend. 292 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,330 Where's your GPS? 293 00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,830 You're in the Arctic Circle. 294 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:37,870 Satellites up here are more miss than hit. 295 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,340 But don't worry. It's all up here. 296 00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:43,340 That's reassuring. 297 00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:45,440 How is it back there, Mr. Gummer? 298 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:48,410 My seismic vibration monitor is completely useless. 299 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:52,680 Yeah, well, you can log in to the inter-Web when we get you on station. 300 00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:57,350 - Peachy. - Hey, I'm a big fan of your series. 301 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:02,620 I loved that episode on dried meats and insects as proteins. 302 00:19:02,630 --> 00:19:07,260 I see you're smuggling home-brew grain alcohol into dry territory. 303 00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:11,370 Well, the local tribal authority are a bit blue-nosed, 304 00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:14,540 so I'm forced to bring it in under the radar. 305 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,940 Don't ask, don't tell, right? 306 00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:18,280 BURT: Yeah. 307 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,010 (SCREECHING) 308 00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:26,310 Travis! 309 00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:29,490 I see it. 310 00:19:29,990 --> 00:19:31,390 - It can't be. - It is. 311 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,260 - It is what? - We got a hostile aerial incursion. 312 00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,920 What's your altitude? 313 00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:37,090 1,400 feet. 314 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:41,660 I suggest you take evasive action and put this plane on the ground. 315 00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:44,400 Ass Blasters in the Arctic? 316 00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:47,310 (SCREECHING) 317 00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:52,010 They're keying in on your engine! 318 00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:54,480 - Yeah, they're heat seekers. - Who's they? 319 00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:56,780 BOTH: Ass Blasters! 320 00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:04,320 (CREATURE SCREECHING) 321 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:07,390 - Bird strike. - We've lost the engine. 322 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,690 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) No shit, Sherlock! 323 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,360 Get this down! Now! 324 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,360 Stand by for some chop! 325 00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:17,130 Does that mean crash? 326 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:20,770 (LAUGHS) Gravity never loses! 327 00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:23,800 The best we can hope for is a draw! 328 00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:27,940 - Brace for impact! - Impact? What impact? 329 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:33,180 (ALL GRUNTING) 330 00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:47,400 (PANTS) And we're here! 331 00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:50,900 Whoa. We're so out of here! 332 00:20:55,110 --> 00:20:57,310 (GRUNTS) 333 00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:08,510 Oh, no. 334 00:21:09,730 --> 00:21:12,920 Here they come, the men in black. 335 00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:30,810 Well, well, well! What do we have here? 336 00:21:30,950 --> 00:21:32,610 Tom and Jerry? 337 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,510 Frick and Frank? 338 00:21:34,590 --> 00:21:36,680 No, more like Butch and Sundance. 339 00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:38,310 Starsky and Hutch. 340 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,980 Do I smell alcohol? 341 00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:44,690 My bird runs on bio-fuel. 342 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,960 And you're bootlegging moonshine into a First Nations territory? 343 00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:49,660 That is a big time no-no! 344 00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,360 You don't mind if we help ourselves now, do you? 345 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,700 Well, there's a matter of payment, eh? 346 00:21:55,710 --> 00:21:57,700 Put it on my tab. 347 00:21:57,710 --> 00:21:59,640 BURT: And who might you be? 348 00:22:07,450 --> 00:22:08,810 I'm your next-door neighbor 349 00:22:08,820 --> 00:22:10,710 while you're up here on your little worm hunt. 350 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,660 But there's no welcome mat on my doorstep, so tread lightly. 351 00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:18,690 A piece of advice, Mr. Gummer. 352 00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:22,160 You stay out of my way and pay your taxes. 353 00:22:22,530 --> 00:22:25,300 Consider yourself properly warned. 354 00:22:26,370 --> 00:22:27,860 Do I know you? 355 00:22:27,870 --> 00:22:30,670 I don't know. Do you? 356 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,500 Since we're neighbors, here's some neighborly advice. 357 00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:38,870 Beat a retreat until I get this area cleared out. 358 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:43,110 Retreat? Hell, no. We're just getting started up here. 359 00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:45,610 Then find a safe place to hunker down. 360 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:48,020 Consider yourself properly warned. 361 00:22:53,630 --> 00:22:55,290 You know that skid mark? 362 00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:56,890 What can you tell me about him? 363 00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:58,860 MAC: Well, rumor has it he's up here working 364 00:22:58,870 --> 00:23:01,500 on some Area 51 stuff. 365 00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:04,630 Some joint US-Canadian turd factory 366 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:08,540 being developed by Harpo... Darpo... 367 00:23:08,550 --> 00:23:09,940 You mean DARPA? 368 00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:12,510 That's the one! Know them? 369 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,220 Yeah, they're the acronym for evil. 370 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,420 (GRUNTS) 371 00:23:27,670 --> 00:23:29,260 You must be Valerie? 372 00:23:29,270 --> 00:23:32,090 At your service. And thanks for answering our SOS. 373 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:34,360 Yeah, my call sign, these days. 374 00:23:34,370 --> 00:23:36,930 This is Aklark. He's our resident local boy. 375 00:23:37,070 --> 00:23:40,070 Hey, Mac. I saw you came in a bit hectic there, huh? 376 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,410 Yeah, just a little bit. 377 00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:45,070 Did you guys just come from Burning Man, or... 378 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,540 How's it, Mr. Burt? 379 00:23:48,050 --> 00:23:50,680 Wow! They even know you in Canada! 380 00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:53,450 You failed to tell me about the AB infestation. 381 00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:55,520 - We have Ass Blasters? - Yeah. 382 00:23:55,530 --> 00:23:57,220 It ain't a polar bear, girl. 383 00:23:57,230 --> 00:23:59,050 Mom and Dad aren't gonna believe it. 384 00:23:59,060 --> 00:24:00,550 "Mom and Dad"? 385 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,860 Here's a blast from the past, Mr. Gummer. 386 00:24:02,870 --> 00:24:04,760 I'm Val and Rhonda's daughter. 387 00:24:04,770 --> 00:24:08,330 No! Val and Rhonda from the OG Graboid apocalypse? 388 00:24:08,340 --> 00:24:10,600 Crazy, huh? You must be Travis. 389 00:24:10,610 --> 00:24:11,770 I am. 390 00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:15,800 Uh... I kind of lost track of your parents over the years. 391 00:24:15,810 --> 00:24:19,610 It's okay. They're easy to lose track of, especially Val. 392 00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:22,740 Let's get you back to the station. Everybody's waiting. 393 00:24:23,290 --> 00:24:25,150 He's not the keeping-in-touch type. 394 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:26,650 Come on. 395 00:24:34,130 --> 00:24:35,790 Ah, bam! 396 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,290 Dang! 397 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,130 Aw, man! 398 00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:14,860 (GRUNTS) 399 00:25:17,010 --> 00:25:19,270 (PANTING) 400 00:25:23,050 --> 00:25:25,710 I see you've come up north loaded for bear, Mr. Burt. 401 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,680 Yeah, BSA .303. Nice. 402 00:25:28,690 --> 00:25:30,180 It'll kill most varmints. 403 00:25:30,190 --> 00:25:32,510 Yeah, well, for the varmints we're hunting, 404 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,820 that's like shooting a slingshot at a Sherman tank. 405 00:25:35,830 --> 00:25:38,790 I thought it'd be colder than a reindeer's ball bag up here. 406 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,050 We're in the middle of an Arctic heat wave, 407 00:25:40,060 --> 00:25:42,220 which has greatly accelerated the snow melt. 408 00:25:42,230 --> 00:25:45,090 Hell, I'm hotter than a 50 cal on full auto! 409 00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:47,660 Mr. Gummer, glad you could make it. 410 00:25:47,670 --> 00:25:50,200 Welcome to the Boîte Canyon Arctic Research Station 411 00:25:50,210 --> 00:25:53,230 or, like we used to call it, science at the edge of the world. 412 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,870 You must be, uh, Dr. Rita Sims? 413 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,100 - Good to meet you. - Yeah. 414 00:25:57,110 --> 00:25:58,440 This is Dr. Ferezze. 415 00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:00,810 - Charles Ferezze. - Doc. 416 00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:02,010 How was your flight in? 417 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:05,750 Well, let's just say, uh, we hit some chop. 418 00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:08,880 We blew the engine. 419 00:26:08,890 --> 00:26:10,990 Actually, we came under Ass Blaster attack, 420 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,420 and during the ensuing aerial dogfight, the engine was blown. 421 00:26:15,430 --> 00:26:17,760 - An Ass Blaster? - Yeah. 422 00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:19,460 Blew the engine? 423 00:26:19,470 --> 00:26:22,130 But you have to fly me back to Montreal so I can report 424 00:26:22,140 --> 00:26:24,770 to the powers that be about the recent turn of events. 425 00:26:24,780 --> 00:26:29,270 Well, they'll just have to wait till I get this puppy airborne again. 426 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,510 I can't stay here one more minute! 427 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,650 Excuse me. I've got an engine to fix. 428 00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:37,880 DR. FEREZZE: Excuse me. (LAUGHS) 429 00:26:37,890 --> 00:26:41,280 Dr. Ferezze, he startles at the drop of a feather. 430 00:26:41,290 --> 00:26:43,690 I'm sorry. We haven't met yet. 431 00:26:43,730 --> 00:26:46,050 BURT: Oh, Travis Welker, my, uh... 432 00:26:46,060 --> 00:26:48,860 My wing, uh... Wingman. 433 00:26:48,870 --> 00:26:50,530 Thank you for coming. 434 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:54,430 I've got to go inside, get the lay of the land. 435 00:26:55,470 --> 00:26:58,370 Sunset at 3:48 a.m. 436 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,470 Well, it's the Land of the Midnight Sun, Mr. Welker. 437 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,510 Are you saying that the sun is never going down on me? 438 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,180 Well, it's never gonna go below the horizon, 439 00:27:08,690 --> 00:27:10,710 if that's what you're asking. 440 00:27:10,820 --> 00:27:13,510 RITA: We sent a three-man drill team to the glacial field 441 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,750 about a half a day up mountain from here. 442 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,820 You have three KIA? 443 00:27:17,830 --> 00:27:19,050 Killed in action. 444 00:27:19,060 --> 00:27:21,460 Whoa, that's a big 10-4, good buddy. 445 00:27:21,970 --> 00:27:24,120 - Name's Swackhamer. - Swackhamer. 446 00:27:24,130 --> 00:27:25,690 I hammered-and-nailed this place together. 447 00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:28,300 You need to know anything, I'm your guy. 448 00:27:28,540 --> 00:27:32,470 There's two that we can verify dead, one assumed dead. 449 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,170 Verified? How? 450 00:27:34,180 --> 00:27:35,470 Well, from the kill site. 451 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,140 Rita and her crew managed to recover a severed head, 452 00:27:38,150 --> 00:27:41,120 a partially eaten pelvis, and a half-eaten testicle. 453 00:27:41,550 --> 00:27:43,980 How do you recover a half-eaten testicle? 454 00:27:43,990 --> 00:27:47,150 Now, where's all the snow, Dr. Sims? 455 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,680 This year in particular has been one of the warmest on record up here. 456 00:27:50,690 --> 00:27:52,490 Meet Hart Hansen, Mr. Gummer. 457 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,720 He's a PhD in Geomorphology from the University of Cambridge. 458 00:27:55,730 --> 00:27:57,960 Ah, yeah, airplane boy. 459 00:27:57,970 --> 00:28:01,230 It's an RC. Kind of a hobby. 460 00:28:01,810 --> 00:28:04,070 It's actually a habit, um... 461 00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:07,200 Okay, it's an addiction. Anyway, 462 00:28:07,210 --> 00:28:08,670 it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gummer. 463 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,170 I'm sure you'll find that Boîte Canyon 464 00:28:10,180 --> 00:28:12,510 is a very unique geological phenomenon. 465 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,880 VALERIE: This perennially frozen tundra is interrupted 466 00:28:14,890 --> 00:28:17,510 for approximately 10 square kilometers by thawed soil. 467 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,010 Thawed? It's bone dry out there. 468 00:28:20,020 --> 00:28:22,050 The Meltwater Hot Springs are a pleasant symptom 469 00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:24,590 of geothermal heat, which warms the Earth from deep beneath the land 470 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:25,820 that we're standing on. 471 00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:27,190 That explains the ABs. 472 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,420 Ass Blasters! 473 00:28:28,430 --> 00:28:30,370 (ALL LAUGHING) 474 00:28:30,730 --> 00:28:33,530 - Ass Blasters... - You think this is funny? 475 00:28:35,670 --> 00:28:39,940 These creatures are no joke. They are all-go, no-quit killing machines. 476 00:28:40,410 --> 00:28:42,140 Now, I'm sorry for the loss of your friends, 477 00:28:42,150 --> 00:28:44,570 but if you don't do exactly as I say, 478 00:28:44,580 --> 00:28:46,740 they won't be the last to die around here. 479 00:28:46,750 --> 00:28:49,410 Not funny, Mr. Gummer. We get it. 480 00:28:49,450 --> 00:28:52,080 The permafrost at a higher elevation is melting, 481 00:28:52,090 --> 00:28:56,860 so the tundra is more easily breached. Ergo, Graboids. 482 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,060 You're telling me melting ice caps and warmer temperatures 483 00:29:01,070 --> 00:29:05,390 are causing this, uh, Graboid Arctic stampede? 484 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,890 Kind of, but there's more. 485 00:29:06,900 --> 00:29:09,630 (SCOFFS) Enlighten me. Why here? 486 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,700 Evolution, Mr. Gummer. 487 00:29:11,710 --> 00:29:13,100 There's one thing Nature has taught us, 488 00:29:13,110 --> 00:29:15,940 and that's life can expand into new territories. 489 00:29:15,950 --> 00:29:17,810 Maybe these are the first Graboids. 490 00:29:17,820 --> 00:29:21,440 - Yeah, like pre-Precambrian. - VALERIE: Exactly. 491 00:29:21,450 --> 00:29:25,080 And maybe they migrated south millions, maybe even billions of years ago 492 00:29:25,090 --> 00:29:26,810 and evolved into a desert creature. 493 00:29:26,820 --> 00:29:29,880 And now, after countless giga-annum lying dormant in ice... 494 00:29:29,890 --> 00:29:31,290 They've awakened. 495 00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:35,390 (SIGHS) Come on, this sounds like a bunch of sassafras! 496 00:29:35,470 --> 00:29:37,870 It does sound sassafrassy! 497 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,200 Dr. Sims, a word? 498 00:29:41,210 --> 00:29:43,500 (WHIRRING) 499 00:29:46,610 --> 00:29:48,200 How much longer? 500 00:29:48,210 --> 00:29:50,100 (WHIRRING STOPS) 501 00:29:50,110 --> 00:29:53,970 I've got to cold-stitch the intake manifold, rebuild the carb. 502 00:29:53,980 --> 00:29:56,210 Look, if you don't get this clunker in the air soon, I'll... 503 00:29:56,220 --> 00:29:58,190 You'll what, Mr. Freeze? 504 00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:03,620 Ferezze. Dr. Charles Ferezze. 505 00:30:08,570 --> 00:30:10,260 What is it? 506 00:30:16,970 --> 00:30:18,460 DARPA. 507 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,810 (WHISPERS) What are they doing here? 508 00:30:24,450 --> 00:30:27,680 (VEHICLE APPROACHING) 509 00:30:29,050 --> 00:30:31,150 - Oh, them? - Shh! 510 00:30:31,290 --> 00:30:33,710 Yes, them. 511 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,980 What's your association with them? 512 00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:37,890 They're our research neighbors. 513 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:41,160 Why are we whispering? They can't hear us. 514 00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:43,790 When did they arrive? 515 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,430 They arrived a couple of months ago. 516 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,860 They're working on some US-Canadian project. 517 00:30:48,870 --> 00:30:50,060 It's very hush-hush. 518 00:30:50,070 --> 00:30:52,700 (CHUCKLES) 519 00:30:52,710 --> 00:30:54,500 Why? What? 520 00:30:54,510 --> 00:30:56,970 Bio-weapons is what. 521 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:59,970 I'll bet you a dollar to a donut hole we've zeroed in 522 00:30:59,980 --> 00:31:01,710 on DARPA's testing ground. 523 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,480 You think that our research neighbors 524 00:31:04,490 --> 00:31:07,680 are breeding these creatures as bio-weapons? 525 00:31:07,690 --> 00:31:10,220 Bingo! This is the killing ground, 526 00:31:10,230 --> 00:31:12,350 and you're the guinea pigs. 527 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,020 I think you're reaching. 528 00:31:14,030 --> 00:31:17,930 It's a verifiable fact that DARPA started training dolphins 529 00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:21,030 as bomb-carriers during Vietnam. 530 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:26,530 More lately, they've been outed for weaponizing cyborg insects. 531 00:31:27,780 --> 00:31:32,440 No, ma'am, I wouldn't put anything past these black-hat Mengeles. 532 00:31:33,950 --> 00:31:36,180 We got Ass Blasters on campus! 533 00:31:44,190 --> 00:31:45,890 Dr. Ferezze is out there with that thing. 534 00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:48,790 Oh, Lord. That guy's turned into a real ass-ache. 535 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,990 What's the 20 on that AB? 536 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,730 (THUDS ON ROOF) 537 00:31:55,740 --> 00:31:58,900 That flaming sphincter is on the roof! 538 00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:03,470 (CREATURE ROARS) 539 00:32:03,510 --> 00:32:06,270 Eyes! We need eyes on that roof! 540 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,250 I'm bringing up the roof cam! 541 00:32:10,050 --> 00:32:13,180 (THUDDING) 542 00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:21,760 (STATIC) 543 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,500 All right, listen up! 544 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,230 If there are Ass Blasters on station, Graboids aren't far behind. 545 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,900 They respond to seismic vibrations, so everyone stay still. 546 00:32:42,190 --> 00:32:45,580 Dr. Ferezze. Just the man I wanted to see. 547 00:32:45,590 --> 00:32:48,960 The bodies, or what's left of them, are ready for transport. 548 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,150 When you have a minute, we need to go through the details again. 549 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,660 We've been through it. It was an apparent Graboid attack. 550 00:32:54,670 --> 00:32:55,890 Graboid? 551 00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:58,530 (SCREECHES) (GROANING) 552 00:32:59,670 --> 00:33:02,400 (WHIMPERING) 553 00:33:02,740 --> 00:33:06,110 (SCREAMING) 554 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,010 (CREATURE SCREECHING) 555 00:33:14,050 --> 00:33:16,490 Locked and loaded. (COCKS GUN) 556 00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:31,160 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 557 00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:42,140 (CREATURE SCREECHES) 558 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,120 (CREATURE SCREECHES) 559 00:33:58,330 --> 00:33:59,850 (WHIMPERING) 560 00:34:00,860 --> 00:34:04,600 (CREATURE SCREECHING) 561 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:06,330 (STATIC) 562 00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:08,830 That thing just took down our comms tower. 563 00:34:08,870 --> 00:34:10,160 We've got no talk. (DEVICES BEEPING) 564 00:34:10,170 --> 00:34:11,870 Our data-link and NetCam are down, too. 565 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,000 BURT: How'd that ass-wipe get out there? 566 00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:17,910 Now I've got to save his sorry butt! I'm going outside. 567 00:34:18,820 --> 00:34:21,880 (WHIMPERING) 568 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,790 (SCREECHING) 569 00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:37,360 (WHISPERS) You ever seen an Ass Blaster before? 570 00:34:37,370 --> 00:34:38,890 - Nope. - Yeah. 571 00:34:38,900 --> 00:34:40,490 This is a first. 572 00:34:40,570 --> 00:34:44,730 They're pretty cool, actually, but they're mean, and they stink. 573 00:34:44,740 --> 00:34:47,370 I had a boyfriend like that once. 574 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:53,940 You single? 575 00:34:53,950 --> 00:34:56,210 Are you trying to get sweet with me? 576 00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:58,980 - Definitely. - It's not gonna work. 577 00:35:07,860 --> 00:35:10,890 (SCREECHING) 578 00:35:11,100 --> 00:35:14,300 (SCREAMING) 579 00:35:15,070 --> 00:35:16,900 (sun FIRING) 580 00:35:19,810 --> 00:35:22,140 (SCREAMING) 581 00:35:22,150 --> 00:35:25,740 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 582 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,940 Doc! Doc! 583 00:35:27,950 --> 00:35:31,310 Doc! Grow a spine, huh? 584 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,410 Look at me. 585 00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:34,250 I have balls of steel. Say it! 586 00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:36,650 I have balls of steel. 587 00:35:36,660 --> 00:35:38,950 My balls are stainless steel! 588 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,620 My balls are stainless steel! 589 00:35:41,630 --> 00:35:45,660 My balls are in the Guinness Book of Balls! 590 00:35:45,670 --> 00:35:49,530 My balls are in the Guinness Book of Balls! 591 00:35:49,540 --> 00:35:51,970 Right! You put this on. 592 00:35:51,980 --> 00:35:55,340 - Yes. - It'll hide your heat signature, huh? 593 00:35:55,350 --> 00:35:58,670 Now, look. You stick with me like a shadow. You hear that? 594 00:35:58,680 --> 00:35:59,770 Yes. 595 00:35:59,780 --> 00:36:02,010 Now, put that dick back in your pants 596 00:36:02,020 --> 00:36:03,780 - and do what I do, right? - Yes, sir. 597 00:36:03,790 --> 00:36:04,910 - Roger? - Roger. 598 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,220 - Roger that. Let's go. - Okay. 599 00:36:11,130 --> 00:36:14,320 Come on, soldier. Hoods up! 600 00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:24,200 (GROANS) 601 00:36:25,310 --> 00:36:26,900 (GRUNTS) 602 00:36:28,550 --> 00:36:30,170 (GROANING) 603 00:36:30,180 --> 00:36:32,810 (IMITATES BURT) 604 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:38,850 (GROANING) 605 00:36:38,860 --> 00:36:40,620 (IMITATES BURT) 606 00:36:45,030 --> 00:36:46,620 What the hell? 607 00:36:52,570 --> 00:36:54,800 (CREATURE ROARS) 608 00:36:56,770 --> 00:36:58,870 Suck on this, bird brain! 609 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,840 (CREATURE SCREECHES) (GROANS) 610 00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:09,710 TRAVIS: Go away, sucker! 611 00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:46,990 (MACHINES BEEPING) 612 00:37:50,260 --> 00:37:52,320 (MUMBLES) 613 00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:56,330 (SNIFFS) 614 00:38:01,610 --> 00:38:03,530 (DISTORTED) How are you feeling, Mr. Gummer? 615 00:38:03,540 --> 00:38:05,770 (GROANS) 616 00:38:08,310 --> 00:38:09,800 What's going on? 617 00:38:09,980 --> 00:38:12,110 - You just had surgery. - What? 618 00:38:12,150 --> 00:38:14,670 Arthroscopic surgery. To remove a mondo tapeworm 619 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,540 that was causing a cluster-fete in your intestines. 620 00:38:17,550 --> 00:38:20,080 I know. Gross, huh? 621 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,650 Oregon State. Corvallis, right? 622 00:38:23,660 --> 00:38:26,090 Yup. Go Beavers! 623 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,290 You know, my dad's been telling me stories about you 624 00:38:29,300 --> 00:38:31,260 since I could bounce on his knee and... 625 00:38:31,270 --> 00:38:33,860 I still can't believe Val McKee's your father! 626 00:38:33,870 --> 00:38:36,260 He's more of a dad, really. 627 00:38:36,270 --> 00:38:38,230 Crazy uncle, actually. (SCOFFS) 628 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:39,670 Wild, huh? 629 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,040 Your father was the most brilliant underachiever lever met. 630 00:38:43,050 --> 00:38:46,010 Yeah. That's what Mom always says. 631 00:38:46,020 --> 00:38:48,110 He always told me what a hard-ass you were. 632 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,090 I mean, are. (CHUCKLES) 633 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,250 Oh, no way. No way! Are those... 634 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:56,450 Graboid skin? Yeah. Dad made them for Mom. 635 00:38:56,460 --> 00:39:00,090 She handed them down to me. Pretty indestructible. 636 00:39:00,330 --> 00:39:02,020 What are you doing up here? 637 00:39:02,030 --> 00:39:05,990 Internship. I'm doing my Masters in Mathematical Geosciences. 638 00:39:06,270 --> 00:39:07,590 How are you feeling, Burt? 639 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,730 Speaking of underachievers. 640 00:39:09,740 --> 00:39:14,270 I am as strong as a fifth of whiskey, Wingman. 641 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,940 Really? 'Cause you looked slower than the Mississippi out there. 642 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,470 Where's my munitions, my combat vest, my clothes, huh? 643 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,010 To your left. 644 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:28,450 (GRUNTS) 645 00:39:28,460 --> 00:39:30,620 Well, feel better, Mr. Gummer. 646 00:39:30,630 --> 00:39:32,820 All right. Thank you, Miss McKee. 647 00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:35,520 You can call me Val. 648 00:39:42,070 --> 00:39:43,160 What's going on with you, Burt? 649 00:39:43,170 --> 00:39:45,630 It's not like you to take a knee on the field. 650 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,370 (WHISPERS) We need to talk. 651 00:39:55,050 --> 00:39:58,540 Where'd you get that HK91? 652 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:00,880 Mr. Gummer? 653 00:40:01,220 --> 00:40:04,020 There's something that you need to see. 654 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,310 (BEEPING) 655 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:42,390 The water levels dropped 15 centimeters since our last measurement. 656 00:40:42,530 --> 00:40:46,930 The samples have detected a new chemical element in the soil gas. 657 00:40:47,170 --> 00:40:49,100 Can you determine what it is? 658 00:40:49,110 --> 00:40:54,510 Uh... The computer's reading it as HCO2H. 659 00:40:55,550 --> 00:40:57,070 Formic acid? 660 00:40:57,250 --> 00:40:58,540 Yeah. 661 00:40:58,550 --> 00:41:01,110 Yeah, and it's a highly concentrated dose. 662 00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,850 The acidity in the pH is off the charts. 663 00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:09,060 (RUMBLING) 664 00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:15,120 What the hell was that? 665 00:41:24,470 --> 00:41:26,070 You hear that? 666 00:41:42,630 --> 00:41:44,320 (GRUNTS) 667 00:41:45,130 --> 00:41:47,530 (CREATURE GROWLS) 668 00:41:49,830 --> 00:41:52,560 Get out! Get out now! (GUNS FIRING) 669 00:41:56,940 --> 00:41:59,170 (SCREAMING) 670 00:42:02,410 --> 00:42:03,970 What the hell? 671 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:09,110 (SCREAMING) 672 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,660 (CONTINUES SCREAMING) 673 00:42:44,220 --> 00:42:45,710 What is it? 674 00:42:46,990 --> 00:42:48,650 You've been infected, Mr. Gummer, 675 00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:51,280 by what appears to be a parasitic organism that is 676 00:42:51,290 --> 00:42:53,820 quite hostile and has an extremely slow gestation. 677 00:42:53,830 --> 00:42:55,990 (CREATURE GROWLING) 678 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,900 What's the bad news? 679 00:42:58,230 --> 00:43:01,930 Well, unfortunately, it secretes a neurotoxin at a certain maturation, 680 00:43:01,940 --> 00:43:03,300 killing the host. 681 00:43:03,310 --> 00:43:06,800 Killing the host? You mean, Burt being the host? 682 00:43:07,410 --> 00:43:10,380 (CREATURE GROWLING) 683 00:43:12,850 --> 00:43:16,010 We've identified the toxin as originating from a Graboid. 684 00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:17,280 TRAVIS: A Graboid? 685 00:43:17,290 --> 00:43:19,350 - What... - Just indulge me. 686 00:43:23,460 --> 00:43:26,050 Blood behind the eye caused by cerebral inflammation. 687 00:43:26,060 --> 00:43:27,890 Advanced stage. It's not good. 688 00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:30,060 You're gonna need antibodies. 689 00:43:30,070 --> 00:43:31,760 Well, how do we get them? 690 00:43:32,340 --> 00:43:33,820 From a Graboid. 691 00:43:34,470 --> 00:43:37,170 Maybe we can get one to stop by the blood bank. 692 00:43:39,610 --> 00:43:42,440 TRAVIS: How the hell did you get infected by a Graboid? 693 00:43:44,910 --> 00:43:46,940 (ROARS) 694 00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:52,710 (CREATURE GROWLING) 695 00:43:53,290 --> 00:43:55,310 I was in the belly of the beast. 696 00:43:59,300 --> 00:44:02,060 Okay, so we kill a Graboid. We get it done. 697 00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:03,220 I got this, Burt. 698 00:44:03,230 --> 00:44:07,640 The antibodies need to be extracted from a live Graboid to be viable. 699 00:44:08,170 --> 00:44:09,760 A live Graboid? 700 00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:13,040 Mission: Impossible. 701 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,310 You plan on throwing a lasso over its neck? 702 00:44:17,350 --> 00:44:19,910 If you'll excuse me, I need to do a perimeter sweep. 703 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,780 I don't think you understand the urgency of your condition. 704 00:44:22,790 --> 00:44:25,450 Don't let the urgent get in the way of the important. 705 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,450 (CREATURE GROWLS) 706 00:44:29,490 --> 00:44:31,960 Your body is failing, Mr. Gummer. 707 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,790 Bullshit! I want a second opinion. 708 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:35,660 Yeah, I know that's all macho and everything, Burt, 709 00:44:35,670 --> 00:44:37,460 but I happen to care about your health! 710 00:44:37,470 --> 00:44:39,090 Go care someplace else. 711 00:44:39,100 --> 00:44:41,300 That's a dick thing to say. 712 00:44:46,210 --> 00:44:48,470 No bad seed shall go unpunished! 713 00:44:55,650 --> 00:44:57,680 (SNARLS) (ALL GASP) 714 00:44:57,990 --> 00:44:59,280 Get it off of me! 715 00:44:59,290 --> 00:45:02,520 (CREATURE SNARLS) (DR. 0 CRYING) 716 00:45:02,530 --> 00:45:03,750 BURT: Hang on. 717 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,630 Please don't let go! 718 00:45:05,730 --> 00:45:07,990 - BURT: Hold on! - Don't let go! 719 00:45:09,300 --> 00:45:12,320 - My God! - Please, don't let go! 720 00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:14,330 - Please, don't let go. - I got you. 721 00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:17,000 - Hold me! Hold me! - Shit! I got you. 722 00:45:17,870 --> 00:45:18,970 No! 723 00:45:18,980 --> 00:45:20,640 (SCREAMING) 724 00:45:28,990 --> 00:45:31,740 All right! Block that window! 725 00:45:31,750 --> 00:45:34,150 Okay, everyone, buckle your chinstraps 726 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,780 and pack a meat sandwich! We are under attack. 727 00:45:37,790 --> 00:45:39,960 Secure all doors and windows! 728 00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:41,820 DR. FEREZZE: Well, this is just great. 729 00:45:42,170 --> 00:45:45,190 We're under attack by a hostile underground life form. 730 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,230 We're all going to die! 731 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:49,530 Listen to me, Doc. 732 00:45:49,540 --> 00:45:51,230 Take a couple of tablespoons of cement 733 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:53,700 and harden the hell up, huh? 734 00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:56,870 Okay, look, anybody with a weapon, load it up. 735 00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:00,540 We have the sharp end of the stick. Whatever you got, use it! 736 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:03,520 Easy, there, cowgirl! 737 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:07,010 I can't get this seismic vibration monitor working. 738 00:46:07,020 --> 00:46:08,980 Our data-link and NetCam are down, Mr. Gummer. 739 00:46:08,990 --> 00:46:11,180 Yeah, the Ass Blaster tore our comms tower apart last night. 740 00:46:11,190 --> 00:46:12,290 Can you fix it? 741 00:46:12,300 --> 00:46:14,520 Swackhamer's been working on it all morning, but... 742 00:46:14,530 --> 00:46:17,990 The HF antenna's totally destroyed. Coax has been severed. 743 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,360 The grid pack dish is totally shot. 744 00:46:19,370 --> 00:46:21,130 All right, how long will it take to fix? 745 00:46:21,140 --> 00:46:23,460 - A day, at least. - All right. 746 00:46:23,470 --> 00:46:25,600 Iridium satellite phone? 747 00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:30,100 - Who took the sat phone? - I saw Dr. Ferezze with it earlier. 748 00:46:30,110 --> 00:46:32,210 Oh, Ferezze flew the coop. 749 00:46:32,220 --> 00:46:35,140 All right, find him and get that sat phone to me ASAP! 750 00:46:35,150 --> 00:46:37,840 It's our lifeline out of here. We've got to call in Evac 751 00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:39,610 and get these kids someplace safe! 752 00:46:39,620 --> 00:46:41,410 I can drop an elk at 800 yards 753 00:46:41,420 --> 00:46:43,220 and field dress it in less than 30 minutes. 754 00:46:43,230 --> 00:46:44,780 Maybe that'll pull you out of your worry well. 755 00:46:44,790 --> 00:46:46,450 We're up for this, Mr. Gummer. 756 00:46:46,460 --> 00:46:48,590 Copy that, Miss McKee. 757 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:52,690 We are flying blind. Advantage, Graboid. 758 00:46:52,700 --> 00:46:56,260 I was never properly briefed on the lay of the land, Dr. Sims. 759 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:57,800 RITA: We are here. 760 00:46:57,810 --> 00:47:01,330 There are mountains to our east, west, north, and south. 761 00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:02,600 It's a true box canyon. 762 00:47:02,610 --> 00:47:06,410 Total geographic isolation. Déjà-freaking-vu! 763 00:47:06,420 --> 00:47:09,310 This is the bunkhouses. That's DARPA encampment. 764 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,250 The hangar's about 120 meters to our direct front. 765 00:47:12,260 --> 00:47:13,710 Aflac's down there. 766 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,750 It's Aklark! 767 00:47:15,990 --> 00:47:19,120 Make yourself useful, Wingman. Give the hangar a holler. 768 00:47:19,130 --> 00:47:20,790 With what, a cup and a string? 769 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,490 Use the walkie-talkie. 770 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,860 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 771 00:47:26,870 --> 00:47:31,700 Yo, North Star One, this is North Star Base. You copy? 772 00:47:31,740 --> 00:47:34,830 You got Mac, North Star One. Send your traffic. Over. 773 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,870 Look, shut it down now, all right? 774 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,940 Stop all work and stay inside. 775 00:47:40,180 --> 00:47:42,610 - What's this? - A road. 776 00:47:42,620 --> 00:47:44,980 You mean washboard. The road's out. 777 00:47:44,990 --> 00:47:47,650 Landslide last winter. It's totally impassable. 778 00:47:47,660 --> 00:47:50,550 This whole base is like open range for a Graboid. 779 00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:52,350 Wait a second. You're telling me 780 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,560 we're smack dab in the middle of a kill zone and no way out? 781 00:47:55,570 --> 00:47:58,330 (WIND HOWLING) 782 00:48:02,410 --> 00:48:05,430 (RUMBLING) 783 00:48:05,540 --> 00:48:07,200 Everybody freeze! 784 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,080 (RUMBLING STOPS) 785 00:48:22,090 --> 00:48:24,180 (RATTLING) 786 00:48:24,190 --> 00:48:25,680 (WHISPERS) Valerie. 787 00:48:36,770 --> 00:48:38,570 (WHISPERING) I think it's leaving. 788 00:48:38,610 --> 00:48:40,100 No. 789 00:48:40,340 --> 00:48:43,740 It's caught wind of another vibration. 790 00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,610 Something's moving. 791 00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:47,840 Or someone. 792 00:48:51,620 --> 00:48:53,350 (SHUSHES) 793 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,850 I can't find Dr. Ferezze in the bunkhouse. 794 00:48:55,860 --> 00:48:58,660 That cheese-dick gone AWOL again? 795 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:02,450 Oh! 796 00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:10,730 Jeez. 797 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,510 Dr. Ferezze! 798 00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:16,640 BURT: Hart, no! 799 00:49:16,650 --> 00:49:19,670 Back here! Don't follow stupid with stupid. 800 00:49:29,030 --> 00:49:30,750 Dr. Ferezze! 801 00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:34,290 Come back, Dr. Ferezze! 802 00:49:38,130 --> 00:49:39,620 (PANTING) 803 00:49:44,210 --> 00:49:45,900 Dr. Ferezze, where are you going? 804 00:49:45,910 --> 00:49:47,370 Anywhere but here! 805 00:49:47,380 --> 00:49:49,340 Just calm down and think, Dr. Ferezze. 806 00:49:49,350 --> 00:49:51,270 There's nowhere for you to go! 807 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:52,740 I'll take my chances. 808 00:49:52,750 --> 00:49:54,940 - Hart! - Here it comes! 809 00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,950 Dr. Ferezze! Please, don't do this! 810 00:50:01,590 --> 00:50:03,620 Don't start the car! 811 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,450 - Please! - Adiés, amigo. 812 00:50:06,460 --> 00:50:08,430 Dr. Ferezze! 813 00:50:13,870 --> 00:50:16,000 Shit! 814 00:50:27,020 --> 00:50:30,140 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 815 00:50:34,820 --> 00:50:37,320 (CREATURE SNARLS) 816 00:50:37,530 --> 00:50:39,050 Damn, I don't have a shot! 817 00:50:39,060 --> 00:50:41,720 (SCREAMING) 818 00:50:46,340 --> 00:50:48,930 Dr. Ferezze! 819 00:50:50,370 --> 00:50:52,570 (SCREAMING) 820 00:50:53,180 --> 00:50:57,610 Inside! Everyone, now! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 821 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,380 This shit just got real! 822 00:51:05,390 --> 00:51:07,880 I can't believe what that thing did to Dr. Ferezze. 823 00:51:07,890 --> 00:51:10,550 They just came out of hibernation and, based on their body mass index, 824 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,290 those creatures need to eat a lot. 825 00:51:12,300 --> 00:51:14,220 - How many are there? - It's impossible to tell... 826 00:51:14,230 --> 00:51:16,660 without my seismic vibration monitor. 827 00:51:16,670 --> 00:51:18,520 Well, we can't stay here. 828 00:51:18,530 --> 00:51:22,360 Copy that. We've got weapons, but not enough for these bad boys. 829 00:51:22,370 --> 00:51:24,130 The bigger the problem, the bigger the hammer. 830 00:51:24,140 --> 00:51:25,400 Yeah? What've you got in mind? 831 00:51:25,410 --> 00:51:27,470 There's a couple of cases of dynamite in the hangar. 832 00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,070 Petrol, tools, bear bangers, odds and ends. 833 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,670 There's enough stuff to MacGyver a bomb we can stuff down their throats! 834 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,440 Sounds like that's our FOB. 835 00:51:35,450 --> 00:51:36,910 One problem. 836 00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,480 The hangar's got a compacted chip-stone floor. 837 00:51:39,490 --> 00:51:41,250 Oh, come on, man. They're gonna be like 838 00:51:41,260 --> 00:51:42,880 sand sharks bobbing for apples. 839 00:51:42,890 --> 00:51:44,780 Yeah, and we'll be the Granny Smiths. 840 00:51:44,790 --> 00:51:47,120 This floor is 1.2 meters above the ground, 841 00:51:47,130 --> 00:51:48,890 supported by a steel substructure. 842 00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:51,420 Those things won't be able to knock this place down. 843 00:51:51,430 --> 00:51:52,930 Yeah, but it's only a matter of time 844 00:51:52,940 --> 00:51:55,930 before they come blasting through the floor and eat our lunch. 845 00:51:55,940 --> 00:51:58,660 I've got an idea. The generator's in the hangar, right? 846 00:51:58,670 --> 00:52:01,970 Yeah. Triple-phase power, 63-amp cables. 847 00:52:01,980 --> 00:52:03,570 According to these blueprints, 848 00:52:03,580 --> 00:52:05,600 this hangar's got a deep-pile foundation. 849 00:52:05,610 --> 00:52:08,240 Yeah, steel caissons going directly into the bedrock. 850 00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:09,310 Drilled it myself. 851 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,910 You think you can re-route the power so it goes to the steel caissons? 852 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,580 Are you saying what I'm thinking? 853 00:52:14,590 --> 00:52:15,980 What are you thinking I'm saying? 854 00:52:15,990 --> 00:52:18,350 I'm thinking that you're saying that we shoot a dose of milliamps 855 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,290 straight into the groundwater and create some kind of... 856 00:52:20,300 --> 00:52:23,360 - Underground electrical fence. - Exactly. 857 00:52:23,370 --> 00:52:26,360 That's exactly what I'm saying you're thinking. Can you do it? 858 00:52:26,370 --> 00:52:27,660 I've done more with less. 859 00:52:27,670 --> 00:52:30,100 Yeah, but if it doesn't work, we die. 860 00:52:30,110 --> 00:52:33,970 So what the hell, Burt? Have you ever nailed Jell-O to a wall? 861 00:52:34,010 --> 00:52:35,330 I'm not sure how that's relevant. 862 00:52:35,340 --> 00:52:37,800 It's relevant because I did it. 863 00:52:37,810 --> 00:52:40,010 And guess what? It stuck. 864 00:52:40,020 --> 00:52:42,310 You know why? Because everyone said I couldn't. 865 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,650 All right, I got it. I got it! 866 00:52:45,090 --> 00:52:48,280 And we've got a plan. We're off to the hangar. 867 00:52:48,290 --> 00:52:50,780 Teams of two. Travis, you, and Dr. Sims. 868 00:52:50,790 --> 00:52:52,820 Swackhamer, you're with me. 869 00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:56,130 Wingman, we're gonna need a diversion! 870 00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:57,750 I'm on it. 871 00:52:58,100 --> 00:53:00,090 I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear you leave me out 872 00:53:00,100 --> 00:53:02,370 because I'm coming on this worm hunt. 873 00:53:03,010 --> 00:53:06,570 Elk hunter, huh? Think you can bang on this short arm? 874 00:53:06,580 --> 00:53:10,200 Piece of cake. You zero that scope for distance or dangerous game? 875 00:53:10,350 --> 00:53:12,510 - What do you think? - Stupid question. 876 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,480 Mind if I tweak it for my preferred point of impact? 877 00:53:17,390 --> 00:53:21,050 Dad and I always zeroed our scopes at 2.5 inches high at 100 yards. 878 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,020 Well, whatever floats your boat. 879 00:53:23,030 --> 00:53:25,550 You're on overwatch. Take Vargas and go on the roof. 880 00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:26,720 Roger that. 881 00:53:26,730 --> 00:53:29,490 And hold on tight, huh? She'll kick some! 882 00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:30,990 Got you. 883 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:33,790 The gun or Vargas? 884 00:53:37,870 --> 00:53:39,400 You feel up for this, old man? 885 00:53:39,410 --> 00:53:41,030 I'm fine. 886 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,570 You make ready. 887 00:53:42,750 --> 00:53:44,870 Okay, you ready, Dr. Sims? 888 00:53:45,010 --> 00:53:48,880 Oh, shit. Look what the cat dragged in. 889 00:53:49,090 --> 00:53:51,440 - Oh, good. You're here. - Mr. Cutts. 890 00:53:51,450 --> 00:53:54,610 I just lost my top scientist at the Meltwater Hot Springs. 891 00:53:54,620 --> 00:53:57,780 You just got in over your head and had to punt, huh? 892 00:53:57,790 --> 00:54:00,190 Your experiment's run amok. 893 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:01,450 My experiment? 894 00:54:01,460 --> 00:54:04,720 What, you think I'm actually controlling these... 895 00:54:04,730 --> 00:54:08,560 Yeah, but of course you would. Your psych eval suggested as much. 896 00:54:08,570 --> 00:54:10,000 You had me profiled? 897 00:54:10,010 --> 00:54:13,900 I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is not the Island of Dr. Moreau. 898 00:54:13,910 --> 00:54:17,040 I'm not some kind of walking ethical dumpster fire. 899 00:54:17,050 --> 00:54:19,270 My mission here is more elevated than that. 900 00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:23,810 Oh, yes. No DARPA skunk works in the hopper, huh? 901 00:54:23,820 --> 00:54:29,180 No bio-engineering perhaps? A little Graboid gene-splicing? 902 00:54:29,190 --> 00:54:32,630 You know, that's a good idea, but bio-weapons are not my thing. 903 00:54:32,900 --> 00:54:34,590 I'm here with an engineering team 904 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,620 to assess the purity of the groundwater 905 00:54:36,630 --> 00:54:40,290 and to design an aquifer to move it out of the Arctic and into civilization. 906 00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:41,930 This is about water? 907 00:54:41,940 --> 00:54:44,000 Water is the new oil, and, as you may have noticed, 908 00:54:44,010 --> 00:54:46,370 the Arctic has it in abundance now. 909 00:54:46,380 --> 00:54:48,230 It took just one of those creatures 910 00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,740 less than a minute to kill my best scientist. 911 00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:52,300 (CREATURE GROWLS) (THUDDING) 912 00:54:52,310 --> 00:54:56,080 Nobody move! Nobody move. (SHUSHING) 913 00:54:56,620 --> 00:54:57,980 (RUMBLING) 914 00:54:57,990 --> 00:54:59,780 BURT: It's under the floor. 915 00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:01,710 Don't move. 916 00:55:04,290 --> 00:55:06,090 Shh! 917 00:55:07,260 --> 00:55:08,820 Let me unload. 918 00:55:09,030 --> 00:55:10,520 All right. 919 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,760 Fire at will! 920 00:55:16,970 --> 00:55:18,460 BURT: Yes! 921 00:55:32,190 --> 00:55:34,920 (SCREAMING) 922 00:55:37,690 --> 00:55:40,990 (SNARLING) 923 00:55:43,670 --> 00:55:46,660 (GROANING) 924 00:55:46,670 --> 00:55:48,930 Help! Help me! 925 00:55:49,070 --> 00:55:50,330 Here! 926 00:55:50,340 --> 00:55:51,730 Help me! Help me! 927 00:55:51,740 --> 00:55:53,940 (GROANING) 928 00:56:00,020 --> 00:56:02,470 All right. Let's scoot and shoot! 929 00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:03,640 What about us? 930 00:56:03,650 --> 00:56:06,350 Find high ground, solid ground, 931 00:56:06,490 --> 00:56:09,320 and whatever you do, don't move! 932 00:56:14,330 --> 00:56:16,290 BURT: North Star One to North Star Hangar. 933 00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:18,270 We are coming your way. Over. 934 00:56:18,330 --> 00:56:20,630 Roger that, Mr. Gummer. 935 00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,660 Sounds like you stepped in it up there. 936 00:56:22,670 --> 00:56:25,440 Affirmative. Time to dig in, work together. Over. 937 00:56:26,740 --> 00:56:28,030 Is it a hunting party? 938 00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,070 Sure as hell ain't no pony show! 939 00:56:31,750 --> 00:56:34,840 All right, look, I'm gonna lead it away from here. 940 00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,450 When I do, run! 941 00:56:50,570 --> 00:56:52,290 Yeah! 942 00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:54,690 Like a dog to a bone! 943 00:56:54,700 --> 00:56:57,730 Bio-mechanics are so sexy! 944 00:57:10,250 --> 00:57:12,410 (GRUNTING) 945 00:57:13,260 --> 00:57:15,280 (ROARING) 946 00:57:30,470 --> 00:57:32,770 To the hangar! 947 00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,400 Come on! 948 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:43,480 (CREATURE ROARING) 949 00:57:43,490 --> 00:57:45,780 Incoming! Three o'clock! 950 00:57:45,790 --> 00:57:48,690 Oh, shit! Not another one! 951 00:57:51,030 --> 00:57:52,620 The truck! 952 00:57:52,630 --> 00:57:54,820 - Swackhamer, get up! - Yeah. 953 00:58:03,010 --> 00:58:05,270 Come on! In the truck! 954 00:58:05,310 --> 00:58:06,800 Come on! 955 00:58:13,580 --> 00:58:15,510 That thing's got me by the pants! 956 00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:17,040 So take off your pants! 957 00:58:17,050 --> 00:58:18,910 100% no! 958 00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,050 - Take off your pants, Rita! - No! 959 00:58:21,060 --> 00:58:23,480 - Take them off now, goddammit! - No! 960 00:58:23,490 --> 00:58:25,890 - Why? - I'm not wearing any underwear! 961 00:58:34,670 --> 00:58:36,300 (CREATURE GROWLS) 962 00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,500 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 963 00:58:43,510 --> 00:58:45,840 You're going commando in the Arctic? 964 00:58:45,950 --> 00:58:47,370 I don't wear underwear. 965 00:58:47,380 --> 00:58:49,280 It's too restricting. 966 00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,540 - I think I love! - Yeah? 967 00:59:00,430 --> 00:59:02,150 - Hey, Hart? - Yeah? 968 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,660 How many of those energy drinks did you have today? 969 00:59:04,670 --> 00:59:08,430 (CREATURE SNARLING) 970 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,230 Six, maybe seven. 971 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,040 I mean, could be eight. 972 00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,330 Get ready to run, Wingman. 973 00:59:14,340 --> 00:59:18,370 We're executing Diversion Tactic Two. 974 00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,010 Okay, Hart. Time to take one for the team. 975 00:59:22,020 --> 00:59:25,320 Free Willy and let the big dog eat. 976 00:59:29,730 --> 00:59:31,720 Seriously? You want me to drop trou? 977 00:59:31,730 --> 00:59:33,220 Don't question my orders! 978 00:59:33,230 --> 00:59:36,220 Now, you take out that disco stick, and let it dance! 979 00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,590 Okay. Don't anybody look. 980 00:59:40,270 --> 00:59:43,560 Dude! We have bigger worms to worry about! 981 00:59:43,570 --> 00:59:45,730 Get ready to redeploy! 982 00:59:50,750 --> 00:59:52,440 That boy's got game! 983 00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:54,510 Fire at will! 984 00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:57,510 (CREATURE ROARS) 985 01:00:03,090 --> 01:00:06,150 - Preferably today! - I'm trying! 986 01:00:10,070 --> 01:00:13,730 Oh, come on! If you're gonna piss like a puppy, stay on the porch. 987 01:00:14,770 --> 01:00:16,330 (LAUGHING) 988 01:00:16,340 --> 01:00:19,570 I'm no puppy, Mr. Gummer. I'll tell you that. 989 01:00:19,580 --> 01:00:21,910 Gonna build me an ark! 990 01:00:44,130 --> 01:00:47,730 We're clear to the hangar. Go! Go! Go! 991 01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:55,640 (BOTH PANTING) 992 01:00:57,910 --> 01:00:59,970 (GROANING) 993 01:01:11,390 --> 01:01:13,450 (CONTINUES GROANING) 994 01:01:14,260 --> 01:01:16,200 Here, here! Take this! 995 01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:31,370 Bad news, Val. Eleven o'clock! 996 01:01:31,380 --> 01:01:32,800 That makes the Graboid count two. 997 01:01:32,810 --> 01:01:35,540 VARGAS: Yeah, two alive. One dead. 998 01:01:38,890 --> 01:01:40,680 (GROANS) 999 01:01:51,330 --> 01:01:53,890 (GROANING) 1000 01:02:04,250 --> 01:02:08,110 (GRUNTING) 1001 01:02:11,750 --> 01:02:14,350 (GUNSHOTS) 1002 01:02:16,090 --> 01:02:17,850 (GROANS) 1003 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,560 Burt, you copy? Over? 1004 01:02:29,570 --> 01:02:31,440 You there? Copy? 1005 01:02:31,470 --> 01:02:32,730 Burt? 1006 01:02:32,740 --> 01:02:35,710 Copy, Wingman. 1007 01:02:36,350 --> 01:02:38,070 You doing okay? 1008 01:02:38,350 --> 01:02:40,270 Why the hell wouldn't I be? 1009 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:42,570 We're fighting a Graboid apocalypse 1010 01:02:42,580 --> 01:02:44,340 with a bunch of noncoms! 1011 01:02:44,350 --> 01:02:45,710 Don't worry about me! 1012 01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:50,250 Just stick to the mission objective. 1013 01:02:50,460 --> 01:02:52,120 (SNARLS) (GRUNTS) 1014 01:02:52,130 --> 01:02:54,150 (GUNSHOTS) 1015 01:02:56,570 --> 01:02:59,860 (EXHALES AND GROANS) 1016 01:03:01,670 --> 01:03:04,700 We've got to get one of those worms pronto! 1017 01:03:17,490 --> 01:03:20,550 Watch out! It's headed your way! 1018 01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,320 Incoming. From the drill tower. 1019 01:03:23,390 --> 01:03:27,090 Say a prayer, I'm gonna flip the switch on this ittle cucarcha. 1020 01:03:28,830 --> 01:03:31,660 One! Two! 1021 01:03:32,630 --> 01:03:34,120 Three! 1022 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:35,630 Shit! 1023 01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:37,900 (WHOOPING) 1024 01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:44,540 Watch out! 1025 01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:55,090 (LAUGHING) 1026 01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:59,150 It's working. It's actually working! 1027 01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,020 It can't get through. 1028 01:04:01,030 --> 01:04:03,890 I told you I've done more with less! 1029 01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:08,100 Come on! Whoo! Yeah! 1030 01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,930 How're you doing out there, Burt? 1031 01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:13,660 Talk to me. 1032 01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:16,370 Burt, you're alive? 1033 01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,470 You've never given up on anything in your life, old man. 1034 01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,810 Don't start now! 1035 01:04:24,620 --> 01:04:26,450 You father is very sick, Travis. 1036 01:04:26,460 --> 01:04:30,480 He can't die. Not now. Not on my watch. 1037 01:04:30,490 --> 01:04:33,430 This is his second neuro-muscular collapse. 1038 01:04:37,470 --> 01:04:39,760 (SIGHS) Come on, Travis. 1039 01:04:39,770 --> 01:04:41,390 Man up. 1040 01:04:42,700 --> 01:04:44,560 Okay, look, we capture one of these things, right? 1041 01:04:44,570 --> 01:04:46,060 How do we get what we need? 1042 01:04:46,070 --> 01:04:49,470 There should be a glandular sac somewhere in the throat. 1043 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,610 (CREATURE SNARLS) 1044 01:04:52,180 --> 01:04:55,470 Looks like Sally's testing our underground electrical fence. 1045 01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,040 Who's Sally? 1046 01:04:57,390 --> 01:04:58,870 You named it? 1047 01:04:59,220 --> 01:05:01,150 After an ex. 1048 01:05:01,420 --> 01:05:04,050 Sally Soulsmasher. 1049 01:05:04,060 --> 01:05:05,950 She was a dirty, man-eating bitch 1050 01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:09,060 who used to stick her nose where it didn't belong. 1051 01:05:10,730 --> 01:05:12,860 MAN: Everything okay out there? 1052 01:05:12,870 --> 01:05:16,230 SOLDIER: Copy that, sir. Just locking the gate. All clear. 1053 01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:18,760 VARGAS: Stop moving, you idiot. 1054 01:05:18,770 --> 01:05:21,570 (CREATURE ROARING) 1055 01:05:30,590 --> 01:05:33,250 It's coming through the floor! (GRUNTS) 1056 01:05:33,260 --> 01:05:36,190 (GROANING) 1057 01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:38,650 BURT: Wingman? 1058 01:05:38,930 --> 01:05:40,320 Wingman, you there? 1059 01:05:40,330 --> 01:05:42,520 Burt. How are you feeling? 1060 01:05:42,530 --> 01:05:45,400 Fit as a butcher's dog. 1061 01:05:57,350 --> 01:05:59,740 (CREATURE SCREECHING) 1062 01:05:59,750 --> 01:06:01,770 (SCREAMING) 1063 01:06:09,460 --> 01:06:11,860 I'm coming your way, Wingman! 1064 01:06:31,580 --> 01:06:33,740 Let's go, guys. Let's go. Let's get to work. 1065 01:06:33,750 --> 01:06:36,410 Swackhamer, start making those bombs. 1066 01:06:44,690 --> 01:06:47,450 - Look, Burt, we... - Got to destroy these devils! 1067 01:06:47,460 --> 01:06:50,520 - No, we have to catch one of these! - We don't catch. We kill! 1068 01:06:50,530 --> 01:06:52,920 - Even if it kills you? - This is not about me. 1069 01:06:52,930 --> 01:06:56,600 - Yes, it is! - Not if we still got Graboids out there. 1070 01:06:56,610 --> 01:06:58,160 Come on, Burt. I'm just getting to know you. 1071 01:06:58,170 --> 01:06:59,830 I don't wanna see your sorry ass die. 1072 01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:02,870 I'll be dead when I say I'm dead! 1073 01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:04,200 That's not how this works! 1074 01:07:04,210 --> 01:07:06,710 Last I checked, you don't give the orders around here. 1075 01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:08,510 Oh, I do now. 1076 01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:10,940 You never answered my question. 1077 01:07:10,950 --> 01:07:13,550 Where'd you get that HK91? 1078 01:07:15,260 --> 01:07:16,750 Heather. 1079 01:07:17,230 --> 01:07:18,850 My wife. 1080 01:07:19,430 --> 01:07:21,050 Ex-wife, Burt. 1081 01:07:21,060 --> 01:07:23,390 Who gave you the right to meddle in my affairs? 1082 01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:25,990 Hey! I'm the result of one of your affairs, remember? 1083 01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,430 Bullshit! Bullshit! 1084 01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:31,700 You're not hooking and reeling me into this conversation! 1085 01:07:33,010 --> 01:07:34,170 (GROANS) 1086 01:07:34,180 --> 01:07:36,580 I guess I touched his thermostat. 1087 01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:41,480 You wanna die? Huh? Do you? 1088 01:07:42,450 --> 01:07:44,380 Stop being so stubborn. 1089 01:07:44,390 --> 01:07:45,880 Damn! 1090 01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:49,350 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1091 01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:54,320 Did you... 1092 01:07:55,830 --> 01:07:57,960 Did you say hooking and reeling? 1093 01:07:58,070 --> 01:08:00,930 Jesus, Burt, you are a genius. 1094 01:08:02,370 --> 01:08:04,560 Hey, Mac, how are we doing on that plane? 1095 01:08:04,570 --> 01:08:07,900 Well, I've got to put a wrench to a few more screws. 1096 01:08:07,910 --> 01:08:09,640 Everybody, listen up. 1097 01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,000 I think I've got a way we can catch one of these things! 1098 01:08:13,010 --> 01:08:15,570 (ALARM BLARING) 1099 01:08:15,580 --> 01:08:17,380 What the hell is that? 1100 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,420 (CONTINUES BLARING) 1101 01:08:24,290 --> 01:08:25,450 The seismic alarm. 1102 01:08:25,460 --> 01:08:28,390 (MOTOR STARTS) 1103 01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:31,730 We set the core sample drilling on auto for today, remember? 1104 01:08:40,980 --> 01:08:44,500 That damn drilling tower is like Graboid catnip. 1105 01:08:44,510 --> 01:08:47,170 That puss has already taken the bait. 1106 01:08:50,490 --> 01:08:53,390 (DRILL WHIRRING) 1107 01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:57,680 We've got to shut it down before Hart becomes a Happy Meal! 1108 01:08:57,690 --> 01:09:00,050 The timer panel's attached to the drill tower. 1109 01:09:00,060 --> 01:09:03,720 Okay, if we can't turn it off, we've got to lead that Graboid away from Hart. 1110 01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,620 I've got to shut off the drill rig. 1111 01:09:06,630 --> 01:09:08,060 You can't go down there, Val. 1112 01:09:08,070 --> 01:09:09,800 (GRUNTS) 1113 01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:15,630 (GROANS) 1114 01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:17,470 (RUMBLING) 1115 01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:19,540 (HART SCREAMING) 1116 01:09:19,550 --> 01:09:21,450 (SCREECHES) 1117 01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:27,290 Battle stations! Let's make some noise! 1118 01:09:27,290 --> 01:09:31,160 Double the voltage this time. I want him dead! 1119 01:09:31,990 --> 01:09:34,050 VALERIE: Hold on, Hart. I'm coming! 1120 01:09:35,700 --> 01:09:38,460 VARGAS: Hurry up, Val. Number two's coming right at you. 1121 01:09:40,700 --> 01:09:44,970 Go! Go! Go! Raise Cain! (WHIRRING) 1122 01:09:52,210 --> 01:09:55,510 (CLANGING) (WHIRRING) 1123 01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:57,450 (LAUGHS) 1124 01:09:57,550 --> 01:10:00,350 (BOTH YELLING) 1125 01:10:01,290 --> 01:10:04,020 Come to papa! 1126 01:10:05,060 --> 01:10:07,490 (ALL YELLING) 1127 01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,270 (BANGING) 1128 01:10:21,180 --> 01:10:23,440 Swackhamer! 1129 01:10:23,450 --> 01:10:25,140 Yeah! 1130 01:10:25,150 --> 01:10:26,810 (ELECTRICITY BUZZING) 1131 01:10:41,030 --> 01:10:43,190 (SHOUTS) 1132 01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:46,130 That'll close the carpool lane! 1133 01:10:46,470 --> 01:10:47,890 Give me some! Whoo! 1134 01:10:47,900 --> 01:10:49,230 Give me some, Burt! 1135 01:10:49,240 --> 01:10:50,360 Whoo! 1136 01:10:50,370 --> 01:10:55,330 Broke into the wrong goddamn hangar, didn't you, you bastard? 1137 01:10:55,340 --> 01:10:56,870 (LAUGHS) 1138 01:11:00,780 --> 01:11:02,570 HART: Val, it's in front of you! 1139 01:11:02,580 --> 01:11:04,780 (CREATURE GROWLING) 1140 01:11:07,560 --> 01:11:10,680 (sun FIRING) 1141 01:11:14,660 --> 01:11:16,720 Let's go, Hart. It's retreating! 1142 01:11:17,730 --> 01:11:19,220 Jump! 1143 01:11:19,300 --> 01:11:20,890 Come on! 1144 01:11:22,100 --> 01:11:24,230 All right, let's not celebrate in a huddle, folks. 1145 01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:27,200 We've still got at least one Graboid out there. 1146 01:11:27,210 --> 01:11:29,270 (GASPS) (GROANS) 1147 01:11:32,780 --> 01:11:34,540 Uh, guys, 1148 01:11:34,550 --> 01:11:37,980 I hate to drop a turd in the punch bowl, but the genny's blown! 1149 01:11:38,490 --> 01:11:40,420 What the hell does that mean? 1150 01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:44,890 No underground electrical fence. 1151 01:11:45,130 --> 01:11:47,620 (GROANING) 1152 01:11:55,470 --> 01:11:57,490 We've got to get him to medical. 1153 01:11:58,770 --> 01:12:00,670 (GRUNTS) 1154 01:12:01,040 --> 01:12:04,470 Okay. Get that airplane ready to fly, and wait for my call. 1155 01:12:04,480 --> 01:12:07,570 All right, everybody, I'm on the point. 1156 01:12:07,580 --> 01:12:09,850 Single file. Okay. 1157 01:12:11,520 --> 01:12:14,210 (WIND HOWLING) 1158 01:12:15,190 --> 01:12:16,680 Any movement? 1159 01:12:17,330 --> 01:12:18,880 Nothing. Zip. 1160 01:12:18,890 --> 01:12:20,590 - Zilch. - Nada mucho. 1161 01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:22,650 - I say we run, get there fast. - SWACKHAMER: Yeah. 1162 01:12:22,660 --> 01:12:25,820 If that thing attacks, I'll just honey badger the shit out of it. 1163 01:12:25,830 --> 01:12:28,060 Uh, help? Over here! 1164 01:12:28,070 --> 01:12:32,360 Oh, shit, he lived? I've got to do the right thing, don't I? 1165 01:12:32,370 --> 01:12:34,270 It's a good habit to start. 1166 01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:38,440 (SIGHS) Okay, Rita, you take Aklark and Burt to the medical. 1167 01:12:38,450 --> 01:12:40,140 I don't care what you have to do to keep him alive! 1168 01:12:40,150 --> 01:12:41,710 Swackhamer, you're with me. 1169 01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:46,350 On three, we break. One, two, three, break! 1170 01:12:53,190 --> 01:12:56,750 Man, am I glad to see you guys now! Get me down from here. 1171 01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:58,090 Jump, you chicken-shit! 1172 01:12:58,100 --> 01:13:00,990 No,no,no. Don't jump, okay? 1173 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,760 But I'll tell you what you can do. 1174 01:13:02,770 --> 01:13:06,500 Remove all the tax liens on Mr. Gummer for the last 27 years 1175 01:13:06,510 --> 01:13:08,030 and give him back his house, 1176 01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:10,200 and I'll make sure that you stay on this side of the tundra. 1177 01:13:10,210 --> 01:13:11,370 Yeah, whatever. Done. 1178 01:13:11,380 --> 01:13:13,370 Uh, no, we're not done. 1179 01:13:13,380 --> 01:13:17,610 We also don't wanna pay taxes for the rest of our life. 1180 01:13:17,850 --> 01:13:20,680 Federal or state, yeah. Nevada doesn't have state taxes. 1181 01:13:20,690 --> 01:13:23,050 Yeah, no federal taxes! 1182 01:13:23,060 --> 01:13:25,120 Well, that's gonna be a hard one to swing. 1183 01:13:25,130 --> 01:13:28,390 Uh, have a nice life! Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. 1184 01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:30,420 - I'll do it. - You didn't see the ladder, asshole? 1185 01:13:30,430 --> 01:13:33,160 Dude! Baby bag. 1186 01:13:38,340 --> 01:13:40,870 Hey, candy-ass! If you have a set of balls, 1187 01:13:40,880 --> 01:13:42,600 now would be the time to use them. 1188 01:13:42,610 --> 01:13:44,100 TRAVIS: Yeah. 1189 01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,480 (YELLING) 1190 01:13:52,090 --> 01:13:53,640 (GROANS) 1191 01:13:54,990 --> 01:13:57,480 (CREATURE ROARS) 1192 01:13:58,090 --> 01:14:01,150 There she blows. Time for some psy ops. 1193 01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:04,760 I'm gonna distract Sally Soulsmasher with some shock and awe! 1194 01:14:05,770 --> 01:14:07,260 Good luck with that. 1195 01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:12,230 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1196 01:14:12,910 --> 01:14:14,730 (CREATURE ROARS) 1197 01:14:14,740 --> 01:14:17,210 Suck on this, worm! 1198 01:14:20,750 --> 01:14:22,980 Come on! 1199 01:14:27,660 --> 01:14:29,680 Whoo! 1200 01:14:29,820 --> 01:14:32,090 Yeah! 1201 01:14:32,490 --> 01:14:33,920 Yeah! 1202 01:14:33,930 --> 01:14:36,350 Ride them, cowboy! 1203 01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:38,830 (GRUNTING) 1204 01:14:42,440 --> 01:14:43,830 (WHOOPING) 1205 01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:46,200 Giddyup! Oh, yeah! 1206 01:14:46,210 --> 01:14:47,870 How do you like me now? 1207 01:15:00,390 --> 01:15:01,750 Oh, good. Get me out of here. 1208 01:15:01,760 --> 01:15:04,180 - Take it easy, Burt. - Don't tell me to take it easy. 1209 01:15:04,190 --> 01:15:05,480 It's time for a sit rep. 1210 01:15:05,490 --> 01:15:07,220 Yeah, I think you better sit this rep out. 1211 01:15:07,230 --> 01:15:09,150 - Who put you in charge? - You did. 1212 01:15:09,160 --> 01:15:11,160 - I did? - Yeah, once you got hurt, Burt. 1213 01:15:11,170 --> 01:15:13,190 That puts me in charge whether you like it or not. 1214 01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:15,640 I feel fine. 1215 01:15:16,840 --> 01:15:19,200 Tell everybody to gear up and get ready. 1216 01:15:21,640 --> 01:15:23,030 Get ready for what? 1217 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:25,200 Ready to save your ass, that's what! 1218 01:15:25,210 --> 01:15:28,010 Capturing a Graboid! Right? 1219 01:15:28,180 --> 01:15:30,610 You might as well try taking the black off a crow. 1220 01:15:30,620 --> 01:15:34,650 Hell, while you're at it, why don't you tell the rain not to dry? 1221 01:15:34,660 --> 01:15:35,950 I'm your only shot. 1222 01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:38,250 - You? - Yeah, me, Burt! Me! 1223 01:15:38,260 --> 01:15:40,650 Your job is to preserve my legacy! 1224 01:15:40,660 --> 01:15:44,190 My job is to make a last stand against these Arctic Graboids. 1225 01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:47,330 You can't stand, Colonel Custer! 1226 01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:51,200 - Back off! - It doesn't belong to you! 1227 01:15:51,540 --> 01:15:53,870 Cold, dead hands, is that it, Burt? 1228 01:15:56,680 --> 01:15:58,700 What is wrong with you? 1229 01:16:00,420 --> 01:16:03,640 I'm trying to save your bacon here, you stubborn old coot. 1230 01:16:03,650 --> 01:16:05,410 You've crossed the line! 1231 01:16:06,390 --> 01:16:08,110 This fight is done with you. 1232 01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:10,210 Yeah, well, I'm not done with it! 1233 01:16:10,460 --> 01:16:11,680 Yeah, you are. 1234 01:16:11,690 --> 01:16:14,180 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1235 01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:17,390 Don't leave me unarmed. 1236 01:16:29,710 --> 01:16:31,200 There. 1237 01:16:31,780 --> 01:16:33,940 You got your true love back. 1238 01:16:35,320 --> 01:16:38,250 I guess blood ain't thicker than ammo, is it, Burt? 1239 01:16:46,460 --> 01:16:49,790 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1240 01:16:50,060 --> 01:16:51,550 Yeah. 1241 01:17:13,890 --> 01:17:18,190 If you've got Ass Blasters, you have Graboids. 1242 01:17:18,230 --> 01:17:20,050 That's right, soldier. 1243 01:17:20,060 --> 01:17:23,290 This is FOB. DOA. 1244 01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:24,660 TMZ. 1245 01:17:24,670 --> 01:17:28,570 My balls are in the Guinness Book of Balls! 1246 01:17:39,010 --> 01:17:40,740 That went well! 1247 01:17:41,380 --> 01:17:43,820 Yeah, it sounded like it. 1248 01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:46,310 You ready? 1249 01:17:49,290 --> 01:17:51,020 It's a good look for you. 1250 01:17:57,270 --> 01:18:00,430 I guess the big boy's still out there sleeping somewhere. 1251 01:18:01,970 --> 01:18:03,960 I hope he's the only one. 1252 01:18:04,510 --> 01:18:07,240 When you get pushed in, you've got to swim, right? 1253 01:18:17,950 --> 01:18:19,850 Hey, Swackhamer, sit rep? 1254 01:18:20,350 --> 01:18:21,840 SWACKHAMER: Seconds away! 1255 01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:25,580 Travis, this plan, it's 1256 01:18:25,590 --> 01:18:27,650 fricking crazy, huh? 1257 01:18:27,660 --> 01:18:30,220 Just like nailing Jell-O to a wall. 1258 01:18:30,230 --> 01:18:31,690 Yeah, bro. 1259 01:18:31,700 --> 01:18:35,530 This is Mac. I'm wheels up in five! 1260 01:18:35,840 --> 01:18:38,060 Takes me back to my banner-tow days. 1261 01:18:38,070 --> 01:18:40,600 Hope the old girl can handle the load. 1262 01:18:40,610 --> 01:18:43,900 Don't worry. Come on. It's just a pure catch-and-release mission! 1263 01:18:43,910 --> 01:18:46,040 When the fish is on, you want me 1264 01:18:46,050 --> 01:18:48,710 to pull up hard and do a wingover, eh? 1265 01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:53,050 Affirmative. We're gonna use the bitch's momentum to land her. 1266 01:18:55,020 --> 01:18:58,420 Okay, Aklark, she's all yours. 1267 01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:01,860 Just keep it steady. We don't wanna wake the beast up. 1268 01:19:08,570 --> 01:19:10,500 (GRUNTS) 1269 01:19:13,470 --> 01:19:14,630 Dude! 1270 01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:16,370 Shh! 1271 01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,100 Let's go fishing. 1272 01:19:41,070 --> 01:19:43,930 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1273 01:20:03,590 --> 01:20:06,420 All right, Valerie, you ready to take down one of these bad boys? 1274 01:20:06,430 --> 01:20:07,920 I'm so ready. 1275 01:20:12,130 --> 01:20:13,620 All right! 1276 01:20:13,970 --> 01:20:16,900 When I get in position, rock the cradle. 1277 01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:21,810 VALERIE: I'm baiting the hook. 1278 01:20:23,140 --> 01:20:26,370 VARGAS: Okay, Val, get ready. It's awake. 1279 01:20:33,990 --> 01:20:36,080 Three hundred meters and closing! 1280 01:20:47,170 --> 01:20:48,790 (GRUNTS) 1281 01:20:54,740 --> 01:20:57,540 - One hundred meters and closing. - Okay, let's go. 1282 01:20:58,710 --> 01:21:01,340 All right, Mac, bring her in. Bring her in. 1283 01:21:29,740 --> 01:21:31,230 Oh, shit. 1284 01:21:42,220 --> 01:21:43,680 Hooked! 1285 01:21:43,690 --> 01:21:45,350 (GRUNTS) 1286 01:21:51,870 --> 01:21:54,390 (ROARS) 1287 01:21:57,270 --> 01:21:59,500 Oh, shit! 1288 01:21:59,510 --> 01:22:01,840 Release! Release! 1289 01:22:02,910 --> 01:22:05,900 (ROARING) 1290 01:22:16,090 --> 01:22:20,190 (ALL SHOUTING) 1291 01:22:23,630 --> 01:22:25,600 What now? 1292 01:22:26,070 --> 01:22:29,360 Halle-freaking-lujah! 1293 01:22:34,440 --> 01:22:37,410 (CREATURE SCEECHING) 1294 01:22:41,950 --> 01:22:45,180 All right, listen, listen. Absolutely no guns, okay? 1295 01:22:45,190 --> 01:22:47,440 We don't wanna kill it. We want it alive. 1296 01:22:47,450 --> 01:22:49,480 We're going old-school on this thing. 1297 01:22:49,490 --> 01:22:53,290 Shirts versus skins, all right? 1298 01:22:56,360 --> 01:22:58,920 - A three iron? - It was the best I could do. 1299 01:22:59,970 --> 01:23:01,760 All right. 1300 01:23:03,300 --> 01:23:05,430 Let's go Alpha on this worm! 1301 01:23:09,610 --> 01:23:11,770 (ALL GROANING) 1302 01:23:12,950 --> 01:23:14,440 (GROWLS) 1303 01:23:15,380 --> 01:23:16,810 Okay. 1304 01:23:16,820 --> 01:23:18,310 All right. 1305 01:23:19,790 --> 01:23:21,780 (SNARLING) 1306 01:23:21,790 --> 01:23:23,620 Whoa, whoa. 1307 01:23:25,330 --> 01:23:26,820 Come on. 1308 01:23:27,490 --> 01:23:29,990 Get him! Come on, kid! Get him! 1309 01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:31,490 Oh, man! 1310 01:23:32,170 --> 01:23:34,930 Guys, good effort. 1311 01:23:34,940 --> 01:23:37,060 Uh, Swackhamer, you got this. 1312 01:23:37,070 --> 01:23:39,030 - VALERIE: Come on, Swackhamer. - Whoo! Okay. 1313 01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:41,630 - You got it, man. - You got it! 1314 01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:43,470 (SNARLING) 1315 01:23:44,480 --> 01:23:46,000 (GRUNTS) 1316 01:23:48,420 --> 01:23:49,900 (YELLS) 1317 01:23:51,190 --> 01:23:52,910 (GRUNTS) 1318 01:23:55,520 --> 01:23:57,510 (YELLING) 1319 01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:03,300 Back off! Throw it! 1320 01:24:07,030 --> 01:24:09,200 Tap in. Tap in, big man. 1321 01:24:11,040 --> 01:24:14,870 SWACKHAMER: Go get it, Aklark! It's all yours! 1322 01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:17,370 SWACKHAMER: Don't be afraid. 1323 01:24:17,380 --> 01:24:19,070 It can smell your fear! 1324 01:24:19,810 --> 01:24:21,780 - Make him sushi! - SWACKHAMER: Come on! 1325 01:24:23,220 --> 01:24:25,840 (YELLING) 1326 01:24:27,090 --> 01:24:28,210 Yeah! 1327 01:24:28,220 --> 01:24:31,190 (ALL CHEERING) 1328 01:24:31,530 --> 01:24:33,050 (GUNSHOT) 1329 01:24:35,900 --> 01:24:37,050 Amateurs! 1330 01:24:37,060 --> 01:24:38,860 (PANTING) 1331 01:24:38,870 --> 01:24:42,030 SWACKHAMER: Wow! I did not need to see that! 1332 01:24:42,040 --> 01:24:44,400 (GROANING) 1333 01:24:52,450 --> 01:24:54,780 (CREATURE SNARLING) 1334 01:25:07,190 --> 01:25:10,390 What's good for the Graboid is good for the Gummer. 1335 01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:12,050 All right. 1336 01:25:13,100 --> 01:25:15,160 (EXHALES) 1337 01:25:17,340 --> 01:25:19,130 (CREATURE GRUNTS) 1338 01:25:19,140 --> 01:25:21,000 Ugh! 1339 01:25:24,210 --> 01:25:25,970 SWACKHAMER: That can't be comfortable. 1340 01:25:28,650 --> 01:25:32,440 You went poking around in my throat with a big-ass needle, 1341 01:25:32,450 --> 01:25:34,440 I'd be pissed! 1342 01:25:35,960 --> 01:25:38,580 Dude, you need a Tic Tac. 1343 01:25:38,590 --> 01:25:40,920 (ALL GROANING IN DISGUST) 1344 01:25:41,930 --> 01:25:43,990 That is so awkward. 1345 01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:53,700 (ALL GROANING) 1346 01:25:53,710 --> 01:25:55,070 Oh, it smells so bad. 1347 01:25:55,080 --> 01:25:57,600 They should call him Deep Throat. 1348 01:26:02,250 --> 01:26:04,880 That is all kinds of nasty. 1349 01:26:10,290 --> 01:26:13,880 At least the gland wasn't in the prostate! 1350 01:26:13,990 --> 01:26:15,480 Yeah. 1351 01:26:17,930 --> 01:26:21,060 (MACHINES BEEPING) 1352 01:26:36,480 --> 01:26:38,810 (sums) 1353 01:26:51,070 --> 01:26:52,860 I'm sorry, Travis. 1354 01:26:53,770 --> 01:26:55,260 That's it? 1355 01:26:56,700 --> 01:26:59,190 There has to be something more you can do. 1356 01:27:11,420 --> 01:27:13,550 (GRUNTS) (CLATTERS) 1357 01:27:34,010 --> 01:27:39,240 BURT: That is no way to treat an HK91! 1358 01:27:44,590 --> 01:27:46,880 (EXHALES) 1359 01:27:48,290 --> 01:27:50,090 Sorry, Burt. 1360 01:27:50,960 --> 01:27:52,550 It won't happen again. 1361 01:27:52,660 --> 01:27:54,590 (GRUNTS) 1362 01:28:03,180 --> 01:28:04,750 Oh. 1363 01:28:21,320 --> 01:28:25,820 With all due respect, soldier, you need a shower. 1364 01:28:25,830 --> 01:28:28,290 (ALL LAUGHING) 1365 01:28:28,460 --> 01:28:30,830 BURT: What's the damn fuss? 1366 01:28:31,170 --> 01:28:33,790 How do you not die? You never die. 1367 01:28:36,170 --> 01:28:38,970 (CREATURE GROWLING) 1368 01:28:41,580 --> 01:28:43,770 - Mr. Gummer. - Sir. 1369 01:28:43,780 --> 01:28:45,700 MR. CUTTS: Glad to see you up and at them. 1370 01:28:45,710 --> 01:28:48,610 Now, it gives me great pleasure to present you 1371 01:28:48,620 --> 01:28:52,580 with your permanent federal tax lien release, in perpetuity, 1372 01:28:52,590 --> 01:28:55,050 as well as the title deeds to your property. 1373 01:28:55,060 --> 01:28:57,450 Signed, sealed... 1374 01:28:57,460 --> 01:28:59,150 And delivered. 1375 01:29:00,660 --> 01:29:03,130 (CREATURE GROWLS) 1376 01:29:07,330 --> 01:29:10,030 - You're too kind. - MR. CUTTS: You're right. 1377 01:29:10,040 --> 01:29:14,030 This species will make an exceptional bio-weapon. 1378 01:29:14,040 --> 01:29:17,330 When it comes to Graboids, I'm rarely wrong, Mr. Cutts. 1379 01:29:17,340 --> 01:29:20,340 Mmm-hmm. With the right neuro-implant, 1380 01:29:20,350 --> 01:29:23,510 it could be a bunker-buster for God and country. 1381 01:29:23,750 --> 01:29:25,140 What do you think? 1382 01:29:25,150 --> 01:29:26,740 I was right about you all along. 1383 01:29:26,750 --> 01:29:31,450 You and your DARPA minions, you're a bunch of malevolent ineptoids! 1384 01:29:31,460 --> 01:29:33,480 (REMOTE CONTROL AIRPLANE WHIRRING) 1385 01:29:34,390 --> 01:29:36,560 What the hell was that, Mr. Gummer? 1386 01:29:38,570 --> 01:29:41,030 That, sir, is the trigger. 1387 01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:44,190 And I am the finger. 1388 01:29:44,200 --> 01:29:46,330 Look, I don't know what you're doing, 1389 01:29:46,340 --> 01:29:49,700 but I'd strongly advise you not to do it! 1390 01:29:49,710 --> 01:29:51,680 Oh? 1391 01:29:53,050 --> 01:29:55,470 That Graboid is US government property! 1392 01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:57,680 Hate to be a buzzkill. 1393 01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,380 Shoot it. Blow it out of the sky! 1394 01:29:59,390 --> 01:30:02,820 (GUNS FIRING) 1395 01:30:04,590 --> 01:30:06,390 (BEEPS) 1396 01:30:08,900 --> 01:30:10,450 Yes! 1397 01:30:14,900 --> 01:30:16,590 (LAUGHING) 1398 01:30:16,600 --> 01:30:20,130 Graboids don't make good pets, Mr. Cutts. 1399 01:30:20,140 --> 01:30:21,400 AKLARK: Preach on it, Burt! 1400 01:30:21,410 --> 01:30:24,240 (ALL LAUGHING) Yeah! 1401 01:30:24,750 --> 01:30:26,100 TRAVIS: Yeah! 1402 01:30:26,110 --> 01:30:30,440 MAC: Mr. Gummer, my plane's all packed and ready to go. 1403 01:30:30,450 --> 01:30:33,250 - Roger that. - MAC: By the way, 1404 01:30:33,290 --> 01:30:34,780 nice work. 1405 01:30:34,790 --> 01:30:36,250 (CHUCKLES) 1406 01:30:36,260 --> 01:30:38,750 Dad was right. You are a hard-ass! 1407 01:30:39,430 --> 01:30:41,450 Tell your dad I said, "Hey." 1408 01:30:41,460 --> 01:30:43,830 Tell him not to drop in. 1409 01:30:43,900 --> 01:30:45,560 He's not really the dropping-in kind of guy. 1410 01:30:45,570 --> 01:30:47,930 He's more of the barging-in type. 1411 01:30:48,270 --> 01:30:50,930 This is gonna be one hell of a story to tell back home. 1412 01:30:50,940 --> 01:30:54,410 Tell him I said you're a better shot than he ever was. 1413 01:30:54,540 --> 01:30:56,270 Thanks, Mr. Gummer. 1414 01:30:57,480 --> 01:30:59,410 Call me Burt! 1415 01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:06,840 You know I won't be in the Arctic Circle forever, right? 1416 01:31:07,350 --> 01:31:10,520 Six months, I'll be back in the States. 1417 01:31:11,120 --> 01:31:13,150 You trying to get sweet with me? 1418 01:31:13,430 --> 01:31:15,050 Definitely. 1419 01:31:15,460 --> 01:31:17,050 Never gonna happen. 1420 01:31:18,270 --> 01:31:19,990 I think it might. 1421 01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:25,400 Thanks. 1422 01:31:26,270 --> 01:31:27,800 For everything. 1423 01:31:35,450 --> 01:31:37,180 (EXHALES) 1424 01:31:41,150 --> 01:31:44,820 Travis, what have you learned from me? 1425 01:31:44,990 --> 01:31:47,650 Uh, to not trust anyone or anything ever? 1426 01:31:47,660 --> 01:31:49,990 You call that a goodbye kiss? 1427 01:31:50,000 --> 01:31:55,330 A man brings a big bore .44 Magnum to a fight, not some broke dick .22. 1428 01:31:55,340 --> 01:31:57,060 Broke dick? That was sweet dick. 1429 01:31:57,070 --> 01:31:58,800 - Oh, was it? - Yeah. 1430 01:31:58,810 --> 01:32:02,970 'Cause that sorely lacked any kind of velocity or stopping power, 1431 01:32:02,980 --> 01:32:05,870 not to mention maximum penetration. 1432 01:32:05,880 --> 01:32:07,140 Okay, it's a little late to have 1433 01:32:07,150 --> 01:32:10,010 the guns-and-ammo talk, Burt. All right? 1434 01:32:11,790 --> 01:32:13,340 Pathetic. 1435 01:32:31,170 --> 01:32:32,870 (ALL EXCLAIM) 1436 01:32:46,850 --> 01:32:48,840 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 1437 01:32:56,830 --> 01:32:58,760 - It was better. - Better? 1438 01:32:58,770 --> 01:33:03,090 It was no .44 Magnum. .357, maybe. 1439 01:33:03,100 --> 01:33:04,460 Dude, what do you know about kissing? 1440 01:33:04,470 --> 01:33:08,340 I know enough not to unholster my weapon unless I'm prepared to use it. 1441 01:33:09,110 --> 01:33:11,070 It's nice to see you back to your old self, Burt. 1442 01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:14,770 What do you say we get on home and get ourselves some real sunshine, huh? 1443 01:33:16,420 --> 01:33:18,910 Sounds like perfection, Pops. 1444 01:33:26,230 --> 01:33:27,990 Pops.