[BIRDS CALLING]
Come on. It's a bit nice to be home, isn't it?
Kim, do you mind if we have a quick chat before we go in?
Ugh. Mum, you left a dead deer on the porch!
Well, I left in a hurry, didn't I?
-Come on, Jay, give us a hand, over here. -Nick...
Ugh.
Stop moaning. Get on with it.
JAY: Fucking stinks!
So this is the penguin, eh?
Hey, little guy, nice to meet you.
[MIMICS PENGUIN] Nice to meet you too.
You seem nice... and genuinely sorry about something.
I am sorry, Penguin. Very much so.
He's filthy.
When was the last time you cleaned him?
Actually that's my dead father's blood.
I never felt like washing it, so thanks for that.
Okay. I'm just gonna...
Um... [SPITS]
[COUGHS AND VOMITS]
TINA: Right, let's get this fire lit and the shutters down.
Great idea. It may not look like much, guys, but we'll be safe here.
There's not a soul for miles. No one'll find us. We're completely alone.
[BELL DINGS]
JAY: Whoa, whoa, what's happening?
[GUN COCKS]
Beth? Whoa, whoa, whoa, what you doing? What you doing? Put your guns down!
Hi.
Ah. Welcome, Beth. So nice to finally meet you!
TINA: Shit.
Are you all right?
TINA: Kim.
BETH: What's that?
BROOKS: So... We should have enough firepower,
but the problem is gonna be getting down to the cabin without them seeing us.
Well, my mum always said that a problem is just a solution
-that hasn't been found yet. -Well, your mum's an idiot.
Wow.
If the solution hasn't been found, then it's a fucking problem, isn't it?
-Sir? -But that's the point.
There is no problem. It's just a solution that hasn't been found yet.
Which is a problem! In fact, it's the exact fucking definition
-of a problem! Jesus! -Sir?
We're just going to have to agree to disagree then, aren't we?
-Are your feet all right, Thompson? -What?
Cause you're getting big for your boots. You know that, don't you?
-[SIGHS] -Sorry, are we boring you?
This is the path to the house, sir.
We need to follow tactical protocol from this point on.
Well, go on then.
Where does Terri find these goons? I basically feel like
-we'd be better off on our own. -Hmm.
[GASPS AND GROANS]
JAY: Here you go.
Why are we having sandwiches? We need to leave, right now.
If you leave now, you'll only get yourself in more danger.
Kim's right.
The traps will slow them down, but they'll be here soon.
Our best bet is fighting them on home turf.
Definitely. I agree with Kim.
[SOFTLY] Jesus.
Who are you people?
I'm really sorry that you're in this situation.
But right now, I need you to go and hide out the back
while I set some bear traps and clean out the cannon.
-NICKY: I'll come and help. -Nicky, you stay here.
-Sure -Mum. Hold the fort until I'm back.
[CLANKS]
[SIGHS]
Kim!
Go back, Nicky!
-We need to talk. -Seriously, you need to go back right now!
I wanted to apologise for the diary thing...
I'm fine. You have to stop walking right...
-[CLICK] -...now.
[SIGHS]
Why didn't you tell me?
I tried to sort it! I even went to the police and look where that got me.
You could have told me!
Okay, and what about you?
I know about the baby, Beth.
Why didn't you just tell me?
That's why I came here. To tell you.
[JAY SIGHS]
I'm really sorry.
I was freaking out.
And then I thought, "Well, if I'm freaking out,
"he's definitely gonna freak out."
[BETH SIGHS]
Okay. Can I ask you to promise me something, Beth?
If you promise to still love me even if I don't fucking make anything of myself...
Babe, of course I'll...
No, no, no, if you can promise me that, I'll promise to give everything
I've got to you and that... our baby.
Every single fucking thing, I swear to God.
So you're not freaking out then?
-I'm freaking in, mate. -[BOTH LAUGH]
All right, you two.
[GUN COCKS]
Take this.
You're gonna need it.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
-That killed the moment, didn't it? -Yeah.
[SIGHS]
KIM: Okay, so, the thing is, I made these landmines myself
and it looks like it's malfunctioned, but I want to disarm it, just to be sure.
-Mmm-hmm. -Two things while I'm getting
the wire cutters: One, don't lift your foot,
and two, please don't tell my mum it malfunctioned.
[NICKY SIGHS]
Mums are the worst, right?
Look, I'm sorry about the diary. I really am.
Just... don't let your mum use this as an excuse to keep you here.
Please.
Stay here. Don't move.
I'm gonna go and check what fuse I've used,
and if everything's fine, I'll just shout the word...
Jammie Dodgers?
Exactly. Then you'll know it's safe to move.
See you in a minute.
All right, pickle?
Oh.
Oh, those bomb fuses you got me for Christmas,
they weren't the pressure-release kind, by any chance, were they?
Yeah. But I built in a time delay for training purposes.
Oh, thank God. How long?
Why? What's happened?
Nothing. Everything's fine.
KIM: Mum, wait!
TINA: Oh, my God.
He's... such a loser!
Look at him! I bet that's how he dances.
I mean seriously, I know I messed up, but you're really going to choose him over me?
How is it possible to know so little
about the only person in the world you actually know?
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
-I'm so sorry. -What?
BROOKS: Uh, uh, uh, uh.
We're gonna take our chances. Go the back way.
I'm sorry.
It's like you said.
Nothing else matters now, apart from this kid.
[CLICKS TONGUE] And that's it.
Tina, I'm really sorry.
No, no. Don't be sorry.
Kim, there's something I need to tell you.
BROOKS: You all right, mate?
Long time.
I like what you've done with the place.
Rustic setting. Crazy killer traps.
It's nice.
HENCHMAN: Don't fucking move.
TINA: Are you okay? Has he hurt you?
Good to see the little one all grown up, too.
What's he talking about?
Boyfriend's a bit of a dick though, right?
We're not actually a couple, so, joke's on you. [LAUGHS]
There was a kiss, but it got ruined cause of this whole diary thing.
Anyway, this whole thing happened with this book...
-Do you want to shut the fuck up? -Mmm-hmm. Sure.
-What's wrong with the kid? -I know, right?
Wait, do you two know each other?
Me and your mum used to be partners, didn't we, Jo?
Jo?
Please don't.
Rising star of the force.
So good, in fact, that she found out I was on Jimmy's payroll.
Didn't you, you little monkey?
So I did what any good partner would do. I cut her in.
And business was good, trust me.
It wasn't like that, Kim. I did it for him. He was my partner,
he would've gone to prison for years otherwise.
You did it for the money, just like the rest of us.
No. He begged me, Kim.
But you took the money?
Just like the rest of us.
Kim, listen to me. Things got out of control really, really fast.
I tried to get out, but then Jimmy came after me.
Yeah, he came after you. But you're not who he found, are you?
He found Dad?
We were going to leave that night. But I was one day too late.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
This whole thing is because of you?
Dad died because of you.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Okay. [SNIFFLES] Okay.
Next time you move, this gun goes off.
Good to know.
[GASPS]
[BODY THUDS]
HENCHMAN: Fuck!
-[GUNSHOT] -[GROANS]
Erm, erm, sorry...
[GROANS]
[WHIMPERS]
KIM: Jesus.
JAY: Fuck.
BETH: What we gonna do?
[WHIMPERS]
TINA: [GROANS] I'm fine.
If you bleed out now, Mum, I won't get a chance to kill you myself, now hold it!
JAY: Yo! Yo! Yo! I'm coming out with the bag! Stop shooting!
[DOOR OPENS]
All right, here's the money, yeah?
This is what you came here for.
So, just...
[JAY GRUNTS]
Just take it and go, innit?
BROOKS: Isn't it.
Hey, Nick. Guess what?
Beth's pregnant.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, my God, that's... Beth, congratulations!
BETH: Thanks, Nicky!
I thought you were glowing!
Oh.
Get up here up and give me a hug then or what?
Yeah, no, I would, but I'm stood on a landmine. So...
What?
-[JAY GRUNTS] -Idiot!
JAY: Fuck my life!
BROOKS: Go and get it then.
You go and get it.
You lied to me, Mum. My whole life is a lie.
Please don't say that.
Why would you keep this from me?
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Because I love you.
And I only love you.
There's nothing else. There's no other people.
No other places. It's just you.
Did you ever think maybe that's the problem?
No. I didn't.
BROOKS: Thompson! Cover me.
Mum!
Wait here.
Mum!
BROOKS: Jo! What are doing, Jo?
No one else needs to die today, all right?
Jimmy's dead.
I'm out. I'm done.
So let's just put the guns down.
What about Terri?
I'll tell her that Kim stood on a landmine or something.
Listen. Jo.
You let me take this money and you'll never see us again.
I swear.
Cross my heart. And hope to...
[GUNSHOT]
Now then, I'm afraid I am going to need to take a body back to Terri.
So who's it gonna be?
Mum, don't!
[THOMPSON CHUCKLES]
Throw your gun down and come out, Kim!
Stay exactly where you are!
THOMPSON: I tell you what, Kim.
I'll let you decide.
Your mum or this dweeb.
You've got three seconds or I'll just shoot them both.
Three.
Two.
[CHUCKLES]
Fuck.
-One. -Wait!
-I'm the one you want! -Kim!
[GUNSHOT]
I won't choose between them.
Because whichever one I choose, I'll still be trapped.
[SIGHS] Kim, don't.
Do what you want.
Kill me, take the money,
go off somewhere
and eat a huge pile...
of Jammie Dodgers.
Excuse me?
I've heard they're really nice.
You're weird.
[NICKY YELLS]
-[GUNSHOT] -[NICKY SCREAMS]
[GRUNTING]
Nicky, are you okay?
Oh, no. [GASPS]
Look.
Are you shot?
No, but that's really going to sting in the bath.
TINA: Oh.
Okay, look.
I'm just going to take the money and go, okay?
I know you're not gonna shoot me in the back either.
I can see it in your eyes.
So I'm just going to leave, and you're not going to stop me.
Cause you're just too nice.
Wait, wait, wait! Hang on! Just a...
few... more... seconds...
What for?
[LANDMINE CLICKS]
[EXPLOSION]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
KIM: [ON VOICEOVER] "Dear Mum...
"I'm sorry for leaving.
"Again.
"I know this is hard for you. But I have to go.
"To get away from all the lies.
"And figure out who I really am
"The world may be a scary place But it can also be beautiful.
"I'm not going to hide any more
"I am ready. And I can look after myself.
"I know you thought you were keeping me safe,
"and I hope one day you can make this right between us.
"I do love you, Mum.
"I just don't know right now if I can forgive you.
"Bye, Mum.
"Love Kim."
I told you you were shit with women.
[NICKY CHUCKLES]
-Thanks. -No problem, mate.
NICKY: You know you're gonna be a shit dad.
[JAY LAUGHS]
NICKY: It's true. He's gonna leave the baby on the bus.
So you didn't tell her everything?
[CHUCKLES]
Another day perhaps.
[WORLD PLEASURE BY PEACE PLAYING]