1
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,643
(Traffic noises
in the background)

2
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:14,013
(Horn honking)

3
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:39,438
Lucky, it's how my life
feels sometimes.

4
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,057
Like it isn't mine

5
00:00:42,058 --> 00:00:44,675
but some fucked-up
alternate reality.

6
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,779
I'm a lucky man.

7
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:49,648
You think I don't realize that.

8
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,117
(Takes a deep breath)

9
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:55,287
First time I killed,
name was Eddie.

10
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,206
(Takes a deep breath)

11
00:00:57,207 --> 00:00:59,124
Can't forget the look
in his eyes.

12
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,193
Fear.

13
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,196
Hadn't seen anything
like it before.

14
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,432
Pure fear.

15
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,334
He would have done anything
to live.

16
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,403
But I had the gun

17
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,206
and Cicero gave the order.

18
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,375
Eddie's luck had run out.

19
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,380
(Police siren wailing
in the background)

20
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:28,420
Guess I'm the lucky one.

21
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:31,423
(Takes a deep breath)

22
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,492
Jason, thank you.

23
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,295
That was
a really strong performance.

24
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,329
You got me.

25
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,497
(Chuckles)

26
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,199
Right here.

27
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,536
I've gotta say, Jay--

28
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,837
Um, oh,
do you mind if I call you "Jay"?

29
00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:46,656
Sure.

30
00:01:46,657 --> 00:01:48,474
Jason, I was wondering is--
was that on the script

31
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,808
that we sent you?

32
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:53,512
Uh, yeah, look, it's right here.

33
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,414
You see, you were reading the--
the character

34
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,515
of Hank's dialogue.

35
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,384
Yeah, yeah, I know that.

36
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,286
Well, we kind of saw you more
for Tommy.

37
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,321
Tommy?

38
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,190
Hank's uh, stoner buddy.

39
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,070
The fun guy.

40
00:02:07,071 --> 00:02:08,949
I know who Tommy is, but--

41
00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:10,828
Dude, it's the perfect role
for you, bro.

42
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:14,800
I mean we loved you in<i> Clerks</i>.

43
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:15,834
And<i> Clerks II</i>.

44
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:16,869
Loved you.

45
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:17,836
ANTHONY:
Loved you.

46
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,355
Come on, dude,

47
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:20,873
pooch
to the doochilly moochilly.

48
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,542
Snooch to the-- ugh.

49
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,810
Sam Lennox.

50
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,311
Excuse me?

51
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,813
The Golden Rocket.

52
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,315
Yeah, I know Sam Lennox.

53
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,434
I've got a hockey stick back
at my place

54
00:02:32,435 --> 00:02:34,552
signed
by the Golden Rocket himself.

55
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,356
It's one of my most
prized possessions.

56
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:42,628
That man could hit a slap shot
like no motherfucker alive.

57
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,629
Rest of his game
wasn't up to much,

58
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:46,231
but that slap shot...

59
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,167
Pow!

60
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:51,370
He built a career
for doing one thing incredibly.

61
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,440
And the man is a fucking legend.

62
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,709
You might wanna think
about that, mate.

63
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:03,215
You know, I do every time I see
that stick on my wall.

64
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,683
You let us know about the part.

65
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,451
JAY:
I'll let you know.

66
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:09,922
All my details are on here.

67
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:13,492
You get in touch anytime,
day or night.

68
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,927
Will do, thanks.

69
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,261
ANTHONY:
Jay.

70
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,629
Pow!

71
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,337
Mewes!

72
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,572
Jay Mewes?

73
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:27,973
What's up, man?

74
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,373
Dude, can I get a picture
with you, huh?

75
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,475
Sure, yeah, sure, of course.

76
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,211
Oh man, you're a fucking legend.

77
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:34,680
I can't believe you are
still alive, bro.

78
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,699
Thanks, yeah, thanks for that.

79
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,717
Dude, you guys should do another
<i>Jay and Silent Bob</i> movie.

80
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,985
Um, yeah, it's up to Kevin.

81
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,220
This is awesome, thanks, man.

82
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,521
No problem, yeah.

83
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:48,794
(♪♪♪)

84
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,146
JAY:
Hey, I'm Jason Mewes

85
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:53,497
and I grew up in a small town
called "Highlands", New Jersey.

86
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,267
You could say I was
that mischievous kid

87
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,269
known around the town,

88
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,270
but the truth is my childhood
was kind of fucked up.

89
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,756
My mom used to drive around

90
00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:02,240
and have me steal
from mail boxes.

91
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,277
She was single, three kids,
no money, no job.

92
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,379
Well,
at least not a taxable one.

93
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,515
Oh, and did I mention
she was addicted to drugs?

94
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,451
Guess a shrink
would tell you

95
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,386
that part kind of becomes
relevant later on.

96
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,388
The drugs killed my mom,

97
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,389
but that's not the story
I'm here to tell.

98
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,526
Not today anyway.

99
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,661
I wanna talk about a dude
named "Kevin Smith".

100
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,764
This motherfucker
changed my life.

101
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,666
He didn't really wanna hang out
with me when he first met me,

102
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,668
but I would not leave it alone,
man,

103
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,638
until finally
he started finding me funny.

104
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,539
Before you know it
we're hanging out all the time,

105
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,375
reading comic books and stuff.

106
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,327
Inseparable!

107
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:40,278
But I'm getting a little ahead
of myself here.

108
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,915
I started working in New Jersey
as a roofer

109
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,550
while Kevin had this crazy idea
he could be making movies.

110
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,386
So he went off to film school.

111
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,288
Next thing I know
Kevin quits film school

112
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,589
and he's using
all his credit cards

113
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,391
to make his own movie.

114
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,559
Some madness about clerks.

115
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:57,829
And thus Jay and Silent Bob
were born.

116
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:05,771
(♪♪♪)

117
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,607
I'm Jay and this is
my hetero life mate Silent Bob.

118
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,979
I am the clit commander.

119
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,584
(Rapping):
♪ 15 bucks, little man ♪

120
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,453
♪ Put that shit in my hand ♪

121
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:27,559
(♪♪♪)

122
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,729
Justice!

123
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,798
(Police sirens wailing)

124
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:41,606
(♪♪♪)

125
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,442
Thank you for your contribution,
Claire.

126
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,027
Thank you for the chip in.

127
00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:46,611
I know it doesn't seem like it
right now, but--

128
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,196
- (Sobs)
- It's gonna get better.

129
00:05:48,197 --> 00:05:49,780
You just have to be brave
and hang in there.

130
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,049
Thank you.

131
00:05:56,724 --> 00:06:07,799
(♪♪♪)

132
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,368
Yeah,
everyone thinks I'm a gangster,

133
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,936
because of the roles I play,
Jay, you know?

134
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,938
You're Vinnie Jones,
you're a fricking badass.

135
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,607
I mean you're a soccer star
turned movie star.

136
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,642
I mean who does that?

137
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:18,777
No one, Jay.

138
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,011
No one fucking does that.

139
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,613
JAY:
Hmm.

140
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,214
- VINNIE: I ever show you that.
- What?

141
00:06:23,215 --> 00:06:24,815
You want me to work the nipples
while I cup the balls?

142
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,752
No, I fucking don't.

143
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,787
No, where did you get that?
I've never seen that.

144
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,756
Back in the manor,

145
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,724
older lads held me down,
carved Big Ben in me chest.

146
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,727
They didn't do a bad job,
it's pretty good.

147
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,829
You know, Jay, life's not a walk
in the park, mate.

148
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,598
Could have been very different
for you and me.

149
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,032
That's very true.

150
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,834
You know,
whenever I get negative

151
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,635
I always have a look
in the mirror,

152
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,171
I look at the scar,
the clock,

153
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,705
- you know what I mean?
- Hmm.

154
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:50,542
Brings it all,
keeps me grounded.

155
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,744
Fuck my balls, it's you!

156
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,813
Is the fat one nearby?

157
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,182
He's probably at home.

158
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,550
Hey, mate,
have you got a fat boy for me?

159
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,270
(Whispering)
A fat boy?

160
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:02,988
Not what you're thinking, ugh!

161
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,823
Oh, you beauty!

162
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,058
Believe me, sir,
you could attack Russia

163
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,810
with this mother bitch.

164
00:07:08,811 --> 00:07:10,561
- I might try it, mate,
- Please, be careful,

165
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,097
the health and safety record
is not--

166
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,099
Cool, it's cool.

167
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,700
It's for my mate,
it's his birthday next week,

168
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:16,902
he loves this shit.

169
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,570
Motherfucker!

170
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,305
What's the matter?

171
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,039
This motherfucker on eBay,
man.

172
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,875
You're buying stuff
behind the Missus' back again?

173
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,144
This is number 69,
Hardwyre Hactivist.

174
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:32,717
(♪♪♪)

175
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:36,988
I want this so bad, Vinnie,
it makes my balls burn.

176
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,690
You can get cream for that,
you know, son?

177
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,592
How much you paying
for this fucking thing?

178
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,693
Way too much, man.

179
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,745
If I meet this motherfucker,

180
00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:45,796
I'm gonna make him eat his dog
and phone.

181
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,967
VINNIE:
It's dog and bone, you prat.

182
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,735
- What?
- Dog and bone

183
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,838
is Cockney rhyming slang
for phone.

184
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,140
Dog and bone, phone,
you fucking muppet.

185
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,775
Wait,
what does muppet rhyme with?

186
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,043
Nothing!

187
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,011
You are the muppet!

188
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,251
JAY:
I appreciate this so much, Vin.

189
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,818
The podcast is
an hour's drive away

190
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,955
and I can't be late for Kevin.

191
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,891
I will obey every traffic law,
I will go the speed limit.

192
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,426
You get pulled over,

193
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:15,960
you're gonna be
in jail all night,

194
00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:17,494
then I'm gonna have to come
and bail you out.

195
00:08:17,495 --> 00:08:19,028
Well, my licence is suspended,
I can't rent a car.

196
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,499
It's for one night.

197
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,035
I won't tell if you don't tell.

198
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,039
You break it, you buy it.

199
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,777
KEVIN:
Oh my God, I look so old.

200
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,813
God damn it, I hate it, man.

201
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:37,048
I look like my father
fucked my grandmother

202
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,934
and had me as a baby.

203
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,819
That's what I'm gonna talk about
tonight on the show.

204
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,254
You might wanna lighten up
a little bit,

205
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,889
you're so fucking bummed.

206
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,156
What's the matter,
little boy blue?

207
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,993
It's nothing, it's...

208
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,795
Oh, today was the audition,
wasn't it?

209
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,355
Didn't work out.

210
00:08:52,356 --> 00:08:53,914
They just wanted you to be Jay,
right?

211
00:08:53,915 --> 00:08:55,473
Their casting director
is an asshole.

212
00:08:55,474 --> 00:08:57,032
I just don't understand
why they can't consider me

213
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,904
for a serious role.

214
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,940
They don't necessarily think
of you as an acteur,

215
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,343
like the moment you walk
into the room

216
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,745
and that's honestly,
probably my fault,

217
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,313
'cause I've made you
this character.

218
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,948
No, I don't think
it's your fault.

219
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,572
You lettin' me off the hook.

220
00:09:11,573 --> 00:09:13,195
Good, 'cause I always thought
it was your fault,

221
00:09:13,196 --> 00:09:14,818
because I based the character
on who you were

222
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,421
when you were a kid.

223
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,022
So technically, you dug
your own fucking grave.

224
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,591
Fuck you, Moves,

225
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,158
I just wanna be taken serious
for once.

226
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,094
Why don't you ask O'Halloran,
he's making a movie.

227
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,829
Brian O'Halloran is directing?

228
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,565
He submitted a script
to the studio,

229
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,199
they went apeshit,
they fucking bought it,

230
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,968
and they're letting him direct.

231
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,003
Um,<i> The Odyssey</i>.

232
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,572
No way,<i> The Odyssey</i>.

233
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,140
I read that
while we were doing Dogma

234
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,342
and we talked about it
a million times.

235
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,978
Dude, I'm like perfect
for the lead.

236
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,530
Oh, okay.

237
00:09:41,531 --> 00:09:43,081
Well, look,
I think the main character

238
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,700
is very much like you.

239
00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:46,318
Whether or not you should
play the lead,

240
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,953
that's a whole
different discussion.

241
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,388
Can you talk to him for me?

242
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,822
It will sound better coming
from you.

243
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,857
I-- I don't wanna get involved.

244
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,559
I don't want
to call Brian O'Halloran.

245
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,260
You know what happens
when you call Brian O'Halloran.

246
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,196
"Hey, man, pussy, man."

247
00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,130
He talks about pussy
for like two hours and shit.

248
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,968
I'm 46,
I'm done talking about that.

249
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,295
Here's what you need to do.

250
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:05,621
You gotta drop science
on the fools.

251
00:10:05,622 --> 00:10:06,947
You can't just walk into a room

252
00:10:06,948 --> 00:10:08,273
and be like
"Snooch to the nooch."

253
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,608
They've seen that shit, man.

254
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,376
Jay and silly Bill are over.

255
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:13,143
What they want out of an actor
walk in to the room,

256
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,946
it's commanding presence, man.

257
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,615
Walk in there
like you're the authority

258
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,283
and drop some method
on their asses.

259
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,729
Method?

260
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,174
Alright,
fucking Daniel Day-Lewis

261
00:10:21,175 --> 00:10:22,619
in<i> My Left Foot</i>,
remember that shit?

262
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,878
No.

263
00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:25,134
Alright,<i> Suicide Squad</i>.

264
00:10:25,135 --> 00:10:26,390
- Remember Jared Leto?
- Yes.

265
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,776
While they're making that movie,

266
00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,160
there were all these stories
in the press

267
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,229
about he was going method on it.

268
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,165
He was trying to get
into the heart and soul

269
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,166
of that character.

270
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,935
That's what method is.

271
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,703
Method is when an actor,
such as yourself,

272
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,639
just immerses themselves,

273
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,173
puts their head
straight up the ass

274
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,075
of whatever character it is
they are playing.

275
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,277
Leto stuck his head
right up the Joker's ass.

276
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,313
Even when he wasn't on camera,

277
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,749
he was still
in the Joker mindset.

278
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:54,953
And as we saw from that movie,
it doesn't always work.

279
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,989
But like-- like Daniel Day-Lewis
made it work

280
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,024
in<i> My Left Foot</i>,
motherfucker is in a wheelchair

281
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:01,059
for like 26 years prepping
for that role

282
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,627
and shit like that.

283
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:04,194
I don't understand a word
you're fucking saying.

284
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,131
Matt Damon once told me
about it.

285
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,699
I didn't get it.

286
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,266
He explained it to me
and he explained it thusly,

287
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,435
he said, "Read a book."

288
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,254
He goes, "Read this book."

289
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,072
And I'm gonna text you the name
of this fucking book.

290
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,675
"Read this book," he tells me,
"And I swear to you

291
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,777
not only will you understand
method acting,

292
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:22,013
but you yourself
will become a better director."

293
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,098
And I never fucking read it.

294
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,182
You know who did?
Ben.

295
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,561
And he won an Oscar.

296
00:11:25,562 --> 00:11:26,939
Is it there?
Did it pop up?

297
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:28,317
Yeah, it popped up.

298
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,754
You're the sweetest
fucking person

299
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:31,289
I know in this world, honestly.

300
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,692
Look, you've got
a $1,000,000 heart.

301
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:36,094
Nickel-head, but
a $1,000,000 heart, man.

302
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,363
Very few people like you
in the world, man.

303
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,365
Sweethearts get killed
in this business.

304
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,267
You've got to be a badass, dude.

305
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:45,270
You gotta go into a room,
be the motherfucking boss.

306
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,371
The boss?

307
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,039
The motherfucking boss!

308
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:48,807
SINGER:
(Indistinct speech)

309
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,259
One up.

310
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:51,710
There is the song, brother.
The song.

311
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,244
We gotta do our exercises, man.

312
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,479
Okay, ready for this?

313
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,713
- (Indistinct lyrics)
- Lion face.

314
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:56,715
Roar!

315
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,083
Lemon face.

316
00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,450
- Lion face.
- (Yelling)

317
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,286
Dick-sucking face.

318
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,121
(Grunting)

319
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,439
- KEVIN: Now, we good.
- Yeah!

320
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:05,756
- KEVIN: Let's go do this.
- Yeah.

321
00:12:05,757 --> 00:12:07,073
KEVIN:
Go get 'em, man, go get 'em.

322
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:08,390
- Yeah, boy, yeah!
- (Indistinct speech)

323
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,670
Hold on, hold on, give it.

324
00:12:09,671 --> 00:12:10,946
- Give me a hug.
- JAY: Oh.

325
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,222
- (Jay grunting)
- I love you, bro.

326
00:12:12,223 --> 00:12:13,498
Be funny, make me laugh.
Make me laugh!

327
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,266
Ha, ha, ha, ha!

328
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:19,237
(Crowd cheering and applauding)

329
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:29,280
(♪♪♪)

330
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,434
FERNANDO: (On the speaker) <i>George,
you asshole</i>, <i>you call yourself security.</i>

331
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,302
<i>I told you I don't wanna see
that Latina girl</i>

332
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,771
<i>or any girl for that matter!</i>

333
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,990
It-- it-- it-- it's me.

334
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:57,208
I-- I-- I talked to you online
about the method acting book.

335
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,844
FERNANDO: (On the speaker)
<i>Is there anyone else around?</i>

336
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,846
No.
No, it's just me.

337
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:02,947
(Door lock buzzez)

338
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:15,460
(♪♪♪)

339
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,028
Hello?

340
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:25,503
(♪♪♪)

341
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:30,942
FERNANDO: Snooch to the
motherfucking nooch.

342
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,477
(Chuckles)

343
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,011
I can't believe it's really you.

344
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,814
Wait a second,
do we know each other?

345
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,949
(Rapping)
♪ 15 bucks, little man ♪

346
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,318
(Rapping)
♪ Put the shit in my hand ♪

347
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,820
FERNANDO AND (Rapping together)
♪ If that money doesn't show ♪

348
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,454
♪ Then you owe me, owe me, owe ♪

349
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:47,992
(Singing)
♪ If that money doesn't show ♪

350
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,896
♪ Then you owe me, owe me ♪

351
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:54,933
♪ Owe ♪

352
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,471
Do not fall in love with me.

353
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,040
Wait, what-- what do you mean?
I mean...

354
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,075
What are you doing in my house?

355
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,109
Oh, I came here
to purchase the book, so...

356
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,846
You wanna die, Snoogans Boy!

357
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,013
What tha-- uh, sir, I'm just--

358
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,882
My name is Fernando Villareal.

359
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,951
I-- uh, uh, uh...

360
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,020
(Chuckling)

361
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,088
(Laughing)

362
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,023
JAY:
Oh, yeah.

363
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,325
I'm just messing with you.

364
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,026
(Laughing)

365
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,394
It's a pleasure
to meet you, man.

366
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,363
I've seen all your movies.

367
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,131
JAY:
Thanks.

368
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,900
You thought I'd shoot you
for real, huh?

369
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,134
Well, I uh, I've--

370
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,135
Thought you were messing
with me,

371
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:34,005
Mr. Thingything.

372
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:38,943
I'll see if I shoot you
with uh, chief of police's gun.

373
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,578
What the fuck?

374
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:53,157
Listen to me very carefully,
Mewes.

375
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:56,394
I cannot let this book go just
to anyone.

376
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,264
It is the only one in existence.

377
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,903
You have to read it slowly.

378
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,438
You can't mainline it.

379
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,174
Cut it up with other books.

380
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:15,580
Get some Chaucer, Dickens in you
at the same time.

381
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,614
Uh, Dickens uh--

382
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:22,587
Once you read the book,
you can't unread it.

383
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:32,630
(♪♪♪)

384
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,071
It is not a guide
to successful acting,

385
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,207
it is a guide to life.

386
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,479
JAY:
Carrie, baby, you home?

387
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:55,119
(♪♪♪)

388
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,955
Come on, motherfucker.

389
00:15:56,957 --> 00:16:04,128
(♪♪♪)

390
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,630
Oh, hey, baby.

391
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,065
Where you been?

392
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,499
Just out with some girlfriends.

393
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,601
Oh!

394
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,070
What's that?

395
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,504
It's Vinnie's.

396
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,206
You brought Vinnie's bomb
into the house?

397
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,343
No, no, it's not a bomb,
it's a fat boy.

398
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,978
Alright, I'll get the bomb--

399
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,279
Out of the house.

400
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,714
I tried to call you earlier.

401
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,716
Did you fix the roof today?

402
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,053
You do know what this means,
don't you?

403
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,522
Jay's been a bad Jay.

404
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:36,694
And what happens when Jay's been
a very bad Jay?

405
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,366
I am the clit commander.

406
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,067
Oh!

407
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,770
(Chuckling)
Command my clit, commander.

408
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,022
Snoochie boochie!

409
00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:50,273
CARRIE:
Oh, command my clit, commander.

410
00:16:50,276 --> 00:17:00,318
(♪♪♪)

411
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,341
Feel the anger.

412
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,277
Feel it for real.

413
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,378
Fuck!

414
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,713
Fuck you.

415
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,747
Fuck you.

416
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,049
What?

417
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,250
What mother...

418
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,363
Snoochie boochies.

419
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,315
Snoochie boochies.

420
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,266
- (Indistinct whispering)
- Snoochie boochies.

421
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,335
- Snoochie boochies.
- JAY: So much shit.

422
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,271
- Snoochie boochies.
- JAY: Fuck.

423
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,781
Welcome to moviestarrating.com.

424
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,349
Type in your favourite film star

425
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,285
to find out their rating
on our charts

426
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,087
and thus
their current importance

427
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,354
to the movie business.

428
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,409
I'm sorry.

429
00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:16,094
There's no current news
about this actor.

430
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,763
Perhaps you spelled it
incorrectly.

431
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,364
JAY:
What the hell?

432
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,577
Fuck you.

433
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,779
Time for drastic action.

434
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:44,856
(♪♪♪)

435
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,633
I'll show 'em crazy.

436
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,503
Hollywood wants
something drastic.

437
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,371
Scare 'em for real.

438
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,405
That's right.

439
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,406
Give me that method.

440
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,407
Method!

441
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:04,609
(Grunting)

442
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:16,654
(♪♪♪)

443
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,530
(Doorbell rings)

444
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,604
(Doorbell ringing)

445
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,909
What the fuck?

446
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,443
- Yes, Jason?
- Hey, motherfucker--

447
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,761
- Whoa!
- Fuck.

448
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,078
You don't think I'm good enough
for your piece-of-shit movie,

449
00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:43,395
- huh?
- I didn't fucking say-- shit.

450
00:19:43,396 --> 00:19:44,712
(Indistinct speech and yelling)

451
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,551
- Whoa, whoa whoa, whoa.
- (Yelling)

452
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,969
Jay--
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

453
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:49,386
- (Anthony grunting)
- You think you know me, bitch?

454
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,454
You don't know me.

455
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,590
(Anthony grunting)

456
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,325
Jay, Jay, whoa!

457
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,429
- Whoa!
- Pow, bitch!

458
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,597
Whoa, oh!

459
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,700
It was just a misunderstanding!

460
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,735
(Yelling)

461
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,671
Oh, you motherfucker!

462
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,372
Where the fuck are you?

463
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,440
Where the fuck?

464
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:10,508
(Yelling)

465
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:19,684
(♪♪♪)

466
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,319
(Yells)

467
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,356
(Grunts)

468
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,426
(Yelling)

469
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:38,502
(♪♪♪)

470
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:45,843
JAY: (Whispering)
Shit, the keys.

471
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:58,823
(♪♪♪)

472
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,391
JAY: (Whispering)
Fuck, where is he?

473
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:10,434
(♪♪♪)

474
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,642
Shit, Jason, don't be stupid.

475
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:27,718
(♪♪♪)

476
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,861
(Engine revvs)

477
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,697
ANTHONY:
Oh, motherfucker!

478
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:46,437
You, motherfucker!

479
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:47,905
Pow!

480
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:50,941
(Exhales)

481
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,710
Oh shit!
Be calm.

482
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,712
Get this out of the way
and breathe.

483
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,347
Hazards.

484
00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:58,616
Reverse.

485
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,451
I got this.

486
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,454
Oh.

487
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,590
Okay, okay.

488
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:08,592
Okay.

489
00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:10,394
Oof, okay.

490
00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:11,696
Phew!

491
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:14,682
You cool, bro?

492
00:22:14,683 --> 00:22:16,500
I think I might've nicked you
with the car there.

493
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:21,505
(Dog barking in the distance)

494
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,744
Anthony?

495
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:29,647
Bro?

496
00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:33,651
(Taking deep breaths)

497
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:35,753
Okay.

498
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:37,688
Okay, Jason Mewes,
you got this, man.

499
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,590
Okay, method this.

500
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:40,991
You got this.

501
00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:44,028
Come on.

502
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,596
Oops, sorry about that.

503
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:48,566
Alright.

504
00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:55,506
JAY:
Oh shit!

505
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:58,743
Not cool, bro.

506
00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:00,778
He didn't see me, man.

507
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:03,881
I do yoga.

508
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,051
Fuck, he might've saw me.

509
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,619
What the fuck!

510
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,238
Fuck!

511
00:23:10,239 --> 00:23:11,856
He might've fucking saw me,
shit.

512
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,524
Nah, he didn't see me.

513
00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:14,825
He couldn't have seen me.

514
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:16,060
I was like this.

515
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,795
Like this.

516
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:19,831
He might have saw me.

517
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,866
Nah, he didn't see me,
I'm too fucking good.

518
00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:23,701
Shit.

519
00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:32,643
Shit.

520
00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:55,766
Jay, what the fucking hell
are you doing?

521
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,568
Uh--
I was just returning your car.

522
00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:59,081
I mean I--

523
00:23:59,082 --> 00:24:00,593
Why couldn't you wait
till the morning?

524
00:24:00,594 --> 00:24:02,105
I just thought you needed
the car back early, right?

525
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:03,841
- So...
- No, I don't need it early.

526
00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:05,043
I'm sorry, bro, I just--

527
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:06,244
I just wanted
to make sure you had it--

528
00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:07,445
Do you want a lift?

529
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,646
No, no, I'm gonna walk, the la--

530
00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,131
Stay here if you want.

531
00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:11,615
No, it's like my old lady
wants me home,

532
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,017
like do the like cuddling
and stuff.

533
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,852
Plus,
she has me on this diet thing,

534
00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:16,120
she thinks I'm getting fat,
so I'll walk.

535
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:17,087
- Oh!
- It's fine.

536
00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:19,757
Thank you.

537
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,725
Fucking muppet.

538
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:26,630
(Taking deep breaths)

539
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:36,707
(♪♪♪)

540
00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:46,050
Fuck that.

541
00:24:56,929 --> 00:24:58,896
♪ Shh ♪

542
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,768
♪ Shh ♪

543
00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:07,872
♪ It's oh so quiet ♪

544
00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:10,207
♪ Shh, shh ♪

545
00:25:10,209 --> 00:25:12,676
♪ It's oh so still ♪

546
00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:13,911
Pow, bitch!

547
00:25:13,913 --> 00:25:15,980
♪ Shh, shh ♪

548
00:25:15,982 --> 00:25:18,949
♪ You're all alone ♪

549
00:25:18,951 --> 00:25:21,051
♪ Shh, shh ♪

550
00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:24,522
♪ And so peaceful until ♪

551
00:25:26,092 --> 00:25:28,192
♪ You fall in love ♪

552
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:30,027
♪ Zing boom ♪

553
00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:31,962
♪ The sky up above ♪

554
00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:33,531
♪ Zing boom ♪

555
00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:35,533
♪ Is caving in ♪

556
00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:37,201
♪ Wow, bam ♪

557
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:40,070
♪ You've never been so nuts
about a guy ♪

558
00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:41,906
♪ You wanna laugh,
you wanna cry ♪

559
00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:43,941
♪ You cross your heart
and hope to die ♪

560
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:46,544
CARRIE:
Jason.

561
00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:48,279
- Jason, Jason!
- Huh?

562
00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:50,014
Something's happened to Vinnie.

563
00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:51,849
- Vinnie?
- Listen.

564
00:25:51,851 --> 00:25:53,884
Early hours of the morning,
Mr. Jones,

565
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:55,553
the well-known British sports
and movie star

566
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:57,087
was taken into custody.

567
00:25:57,089 --> 00:25:59,957
Our sources report
that the charge is homicide.

568
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,859
Jones has a reputation
on the soccer field

569
00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:06,297
for grabbing genitalia
and for his big hard tackles.

570
00:26:06,299 --> 00:26:07,498
That'll be the press.

571
00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:08,698
They know you guys were friends.

572
00:26:10,836 --> 00:26:13,037
Mr. Jason Mewes,
I should have known.

573
00:26:13,039 --> 00:26:14,514
Excuse me?

574
00:26:14,515 --> 00:26:15,990
I need to ask you
a few questions

575
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,466
regarding a homicide
that happened

576
00:26:17,467 --> 00:26:18,942
in the Hollywood Hills
last night.

577
00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:20,995
A homicide,
I can't help you with that,

578
00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:23,046
I've been home here
the whole night.

579
00:26:23,049 --> 00:26:24,848
- You need to stop resisting.
- But, wait a second.

580
00:26:24,850 --> 00:26:26,442
I'm not resisting,
I'm just saying

581
00:26:26,443 --> 00:26:28,035
that I don't know anything
about a homicide--

582
00:26:28,036 --> 00:26:29,628
- Suspect is resisting!
- (Jay grunting)

583
00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:31,221
You have the right
to remain silent.

584
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,967
(Chuckling)

585
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:51,275
Does the name Anthony Costalino
ring a bell?

586
00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:53,644
No.

587
00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:55,111
He was murdered outside
of his home last night

588
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,180
in an apparent hit-and-run.

589
00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:58,149
(Yelling)

590
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:00,117
Uh, I'm s-- sorry to hear that.

591
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:02,085
We have reason to believe
that there was an altercation

592
00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:04,254
that took place inside
of his home prior to the murder.

593
00:27:04,256 --> 00:27:06,090
(Yelling)

594
00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:07,925
Um, with all due respect,
officer--

595
00:27:07,927 --> 00:27:09,460
Detective.

596
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:10,994
What does that have to do
with me?

597
00:27:10,995 --> 00:27:12,528
Vinnie Jones' car was confirmed

598
00:27:12,529 --> 00:27:14,062
- as the hit-and-run vehicle.
- What?

599
00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:15,933
The neighbor was able
to write down the plates

600
00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:18,902
right before the car sped off.

601
00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:21,271
We found fragments of brain
and skull--

602
00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:24,908
- Buddy?
- All up in the grill.

603
00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:29,146
I guess the uh, murderer forgot
to clean that up, didn't he?

604
00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:31,048
Well, what does Vinnie have
to say about it?

605
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:32,867
It's like I'm going off
my fucking head.

606
00:27:32,868 --> 00:27:34,685
Vinnie is adamantly denying
all charges.

607
00:27:34,687 --> 00:27:36,086
And the witness?

608
00:27:36,088 --> 00:27:38,055
We were lucky the witness
said anything--

609
00:27:38,057 --> 00:27:39,757
Oh!
Oh my God!

610
00:27:39,759 --> 00:27:41,459
(Sobbing)

611
00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:43,160
He's a bit traumatized
by the situation,

612
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,129
but the doctor said
that he'll be back in a week

613
00:27:45,131 --> 00:27:48,065
and we'll be having
a nice little chit chat with him

614
00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:50,134
about exactly what happened
that night.

615
00:27:50,136 --> 00:27:51,702
He-- he probably would have
blurted something out

616
00:27:51,703 --> 00:27:53,269
when he gave you the plates,
right?

617
00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,205
So he probably
doesn't know anything.

618
00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:59,110
Do you recognize this,
Mr. Mewes?

619
00:27:59,111 --> 00:28:01,078
This is my wallet,
I've been looking for that.

620
00:28:01,079 --> 00:28:03,046
We found it in the back
of Mr. Jones' car.

621
00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:05,082
You know what, actually,
I was in the supermarket.

622
00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:07,251
He-- he drove me
to the supermarket yesterday

623
00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:09,353
and I think I must have
dropped it in there.

624
00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:11,221
- I mean...
- And you were driving the car?

625
00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:12,731
No, no, no, Vinnie dropped me.

626
00:28:12,732 --> 00:28:14,240
Because you are not allowed
to drive,

627
00:28:14,241 --> 00:28:15,749
are you, Mr. Mewes?

628
00:28:15,750 --> 00:28:17,258
I can drive starting today.

629
00:28:17,263 --> 00:28:19,163
You lost your license
for speeding.

630
00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:20,364
Finding a wallet
in the back seat

631
00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:22,132
of a friend's car
is enough reason

632
00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:24,034
to charge someone for murder?

633
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,302
Should we arrest you for murder?

634
00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:26,787
Isn't that why I'm here?

635
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,271
You are here, because you were
resisting arrest

636
00:28:28,272 --> 00:28:29,755
and you showed
extreme aggression

637
00:28:29,756 --> 00:28:31,239
towards detective Peterson
and myself.

638
00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,409
You're not pressing charges.

639
00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:34,044
No.

640
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:37,448
But, Mr. Mewes,
don't go far now.

641
00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:39,483
JAY:
Hopefully not.

642
00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:45,823
Is uh, Vinnie allowed
to have visitors?

643
00:28:45,825 --> 00:28:47,791
You've gotta to go
and get me out of here.

644
00:28:47,793 --> 00:28:48,826
(Sighing)
You gotta spring me.

645
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:50,973
And I'll be in the cell?

646
00:28:50,974 --> 00:28:53,119
I'm-- I'm going insane here.

647
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,265
This is getting deeper
and deeper in the shit.

648
00:28:55,267 --> 00:28:57,067
Yeah, mate.

649
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,868
Give us five minutes,
will you leave?

650
00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:00,129
Pleased to see you, mate.

651
00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:01,388
They brought me down, too.

652
00:29:01,389 --> 00:29:02,647
They found my wallet
in your car.

653
00:29:02,648 --> 00:29:03,906
I know they did,
but I didn't give 'em your name.

654
00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:05,843
Plenty of things I am.

655
00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:07,778
One thing I ain't is
a fucking grass.

656
00:29:07,780 --> 00:29:09,446
But I'm sorry
to have to ask this.

657
00:29:09,448 --> 00:29:13,751
No,
I know what you're gonna say.

658
00:29:13,753 --> 00:29:15,519
You have anything
to do with this at all?

659
00:29:15,521 --> 00:29:17,138
Man, I swear I do not.

660
00:29:17,139 --> 00:29:18,756
I don't know what--
what's going on here.

661
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:20,891
I'm embarrassed
to fucking say it.

662
00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:23,794
You ever met this geezer,
Anthony Costalino?

663
00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:25,438
Um, never.

664
00:29:25,439 --> 00:29:27,081
You never saw anyone around

665
00:29:27,082 --> 00:29:28,724
when you dropped the car off,
did you?

666
00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:30,367
Any little detail that could
help me out a little bit

667
00:29:30,369 --> 00:29:32,536
and-- Jay.

668
00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:34,238
Jay?
Anything.

669
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:35,339
No, I didn't see anything,
you know?

670
00:29:35,341 --> 00:29:36,774
Nothing at all.

671
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,208
It's gotta be something
I'd done years ago

672
00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:39,476
and they've got the beef
about it.

673
00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:41,211
Seriously?

674
00:29:41,213 --> 00:29:44,098
Trying to stitch me right up.

675
00:29:44,099 --> 00:29:46,984
They found the idiot's blood
on the door fucking mat.

676
00:29:46,986 --> 00:29:48,886
I've put me hands up
loads of times.

677
00:29:48,887 --> 00:29:50,787
Fucking do the crime,
you do the time, and that's it.

678
00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:52,422
I've got nothing
to do with this, Jay,

679
00:29:52,424 --> 00:29:54,024
you know that.

680
00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:56,260
(Sighing)

681
00:29:56,262 --> 00:29:57,327
You know-- you know what?

682
00:29:57,329 --> 00:29:59,329
I'm gonna fix this, bro.

683
00:29:59,331 --> 00:30:00,330
I'm gonna get you out.

684
00:30:00,331 --> 00:30:01,330
What do you mean you'll fix it?

685
00:30:01,331 --> 00:30:02,330
How can you fix it?

686
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:03,467
Just sit tight.

687
00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:04,835
What do you mean sit tight?

688
00:30:04,837 --> 00:30:05,836
Jay!

689
00:30:05,838 --> 00:30:06,937
Jay!

690
00:30:06,939 --> 00:30:15,045
(♪♪♪)

691
00:30:15,047 --> 00:30:16,697
(Sighs)

692
00:30:16,698 --> 00:30:18,348
Can I speak
to Detective Arnold, please?

693
00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:21,218
And what is it concerning?

694
00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:23,420
It's
about the Vinnie Jones murder.

695
00:30:27,393 --> 00:30:28,926
One moment please.

696
00:30:30,462 --> 00:30:33,497
(Phone ringing)

697
00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:35,744
Hi, Geena, I've--

698
00:30:35,745 --> 00:30:37,056
GEENA: (On the phone) I know
you got arrested for murder

699
00:30:37,057 --> 00:30:38,368
or something like that.

700
00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:40,170
Are you out yet?

701
00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:41,971
Because if you're not,
whatever you are doing

702
00:30:41,974 --> 00:30:45,409
is not as important
as this right now.

703
00:30:45,411 --> 00:30:46,977
And even if you are
still under arrest,

704
00:30:46,979 --> 00:30:49,229
you need to escape.

705
00:30:49,230 --> 00:30:51,480
Eva Campbell from
Haw fucking thorn productions,

706
00:30:51,483 --> 00:30:53,450
- she wants you to come in.
- Hawthorn?

707
00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:55,485
They just turned me down
for a role last month.

708
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:58,322
Oliver Radburn
just called in sick,

709
00:30:58,324 --> 00:30:59,523
first day of the shoot.

710
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,557
Is he alright?

711
00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:01,992
Oh, who the hell knows?

712
00:31:01,993 --> 00:31:03,426
The producer saw you
getting arrested

713
00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:05,495
on TV this morning.

714
00:31:05,497 --> 00:31:07,531
Thinks you fit
in the role perfectly,

715
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:11,034
but you gotta make it in there
right now.

716
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:14,438
Eva says they are holding
the entire production.

717
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,541
They are sitting around wasting
thousands of dollars an hour.

718
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,243
This is the film business.

719
00:31:19,244 --> 00:31:20,944
You don't waste
that kind of money--

720
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,645
(Grunts)
Ain't the fucking '90s.

721
00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:24,615
They're desperate!

722
00:31:24,617 --> 00:31:26,350
Is there many lines?

723
00:31:26,352 --> 00:31:28,135
Eva is going crazy.

724
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:29,919
She says this part is
a game-changer,

725
00:31:35,194 --> 00:31:35,893
a career-changer.

726
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:36,593
Could steal the entire movie.

727
00:31:36,594 --> 00:31:37,293
(On the phone) <i>You're looking
at a guaranteed theatrical.</i>

728
00:31:37,294 --> 00:31:37,993
This is gonna slam you
right where you wanna be.

729
00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:41,899
Opportunities don't drop
in your lap like this.

730
00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:44,034
It's a perfect storm,
you son of a bitch,

731
00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:46,036
so don't fuck this up.

732
00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:47,471
Get your ass over there

733
00:31:47,472 --> 00:31:48,905
and try not to kill anybody
on the way.

734
00:31:48,908 --> 00:31:50,333
Jesus, Geena!

735
00:31:50,334 --> 00:31:51,759
GEENA: (On the phone) What?
Too soon?

736
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,185
Oh God, you can't take a joke.

737
00:31:53,186 --> 00:31:54,611
Alright, well,
just get your ass down there,

738
00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:56,146
Alright, Jason?

739
00:31:56,148 --> 00:31:57,948
Jason?

740
00:31:57,950 --> 00:31:59,767
Oh, come on, Jason.

741
00:31:59,768 --> 00:32:01,585
- You wanna see me?
- GEENA:<i> Are you there</i>?

742
00:32:01,587 --> 00:32:02,986
Jason!

743
00:32:02,988 --> 00:32:04,605
Yeah, I, uh--

744
00:32:04,606 --> 00:32:06,223
GEENA: (On the phone)
Jay!

745
00:32:06,225 --> 00:32:08,191
- I, uh--
- Drop in your lap.

746
00:32:08,193 --> 00:32:09,192
Career-changer.

747
00:32:09,194 --> 00:32:10,193
Eva Campbell.

748
00:32:10,195 --> 00:32:11,929
Opportunities.

749
00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:13,130
Steal the entire movie.

750
00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:15,065
Don't fuck this up.

751
00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:16,767
(Grunting)

752
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,468
Yeah, I wanted to make sure
there is no bad blood

753
00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:20,570
between the two of us
and I was just gonna say

754
00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:22,606
if I can be
of any further assistance,

755
00:32:22,608 --> 00:32:24,808
just please give me a call.

756
00:32:24,809 --> 00:32:27,009
And I hope
you find the real killer.

757
00:32:27,012 --> 00:32:28,178
Thanks.

758
00:32:29,982 --> 00:32:30,948
NEWS REPORTER 1:
Mr. Mewes!

759
00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:33,116
Mr. Jay!

760
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:36,586
(Police sirens wailing)

761
00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:48,632
(♪♪♪)

762
00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:51,635
(Harold yelling)

763
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:59,142
(♪♪♪)

764
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,178
Hello, David.

765
00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:05,048
Have you ever tried acupuncture?

766
00:33:05,050 --> 00:33:07,751
You see what's really amazing is
if you stab right here--

767
00:33:07,753 --> 00:33:08,941
(Indistinct speech)

768
00:33:08,942 --> 00:33:10,130
You feel the pain simultaneously
in your feet.

769
00:33:10,131 --> 00:33:11,319
ZACH:
Cut! Cut!

770
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:12,756
For God's sake, cut.

771
00:33:12,758 --> 00:33:13,991
Put the light on.

772
00:33:13,993 --> 00:33:16,059
Okay, lights up, please.

773
00:33:16,061 --> 00:33:17,327
(Harold grunting)

774
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,996
(Clears his throat)

775
00:33:18,998 --> 00:33:20,564
Jason,

776
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:22,131
darling, that was
absolutely spellbinding.

777
00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:24,234
Thank you.

778
00:33:24,235 --> 00:33:26,335
Uh, oh,
are you doing your method there?

779
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:27,704
Sorry.

780
00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:29,071
Uh, I'll give you a moment.

781
00:33:29,074 --> 00:33:31,675
Harold, darling,
I believed your pain,

782
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,744
but you forgot your cue
at the end, darling.

783
00:33:33,746 --> 00:33:35,079
Um, passing out, remember?

784
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,413
Oh, you believed
my fucking pain,

785
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:37,747
'cause I'm in fucking agony.

786
00:33:37,748 --> 00:33:39,081
I told you that blade
is too sharp.

787
00:33:39,084 --> 00:33:42,019
ZACH:
May I see the blade, please?

788
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,220
That bastard Mewes' role.

789
00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:45,022
Uh, he's-- he's enjoying this.

790
00:33:45,024 --> 00:33:46,390
I could see it in his eyes.

791
00:33:46,392 --> 00:33:48,158
Oh, for God's sakes, Harold.

792
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,394
Man up, the blade's
not that bloody sharp.

793
00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:56,767
Lunch, everybody.

794
00:33:56,769 --> 00:33:57,734
Lunch, everybody!

795
00:33:57,736 --> 00:34:00,704
That's lunch.

796
00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:03,106
Right, I spent
three fucking years at RADA...

797
00:34:03,108 --> 00:34:05,742
(Indiscernible speech)

798
00:34:05,744 --> 00:34:09,212
Fucking silent,
fucking Sponge Bob thinks

799
00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:10,680
he's fucking Robert De Niro.

800
00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:13,717
Mr. Jason Mewes!

801
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,552
A word please, sir.

802
00:34:18,090 --> 00:34:22,059
That was a very impressive
performance young man,

803
00:34:22,061 --> 00:34:23,193
very impressive.

804
00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:25,195
Thank you, sir.

805
00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:27,196
I can see
that look in your eyes.

806
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:29,499
It's green,
it's fucking dynamite.

807
00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:33,437
No more Snoogans for you,
no, sir.

808
00:34:33,439 --> 00:34:37,441
This whole method thing
suits you very well.

809
00:34:37,443 --> 00:34:39,509
It brings out all
of your darkness.

810
00:34:39,511 --> 00:34:40,811
Oh yes.

811
00:34:43,282 --> 00:34:44,848
Snoochie boochies.

812
00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,316
Snoochie boochies.

813
00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:47,417
Snoochie boochies.

814
00:34:50,189 --> 00:34:52,823
JAY:
I am the clit commander.

815
00:34:55,494 --> 00:34:57,327
Jason Mewes is back.

816
00:34:57,329 --> 00:34:59,196
Straight after getting arrested,

817
00:34:59,198 --> 00:35:01,231
Mewes landed a role
on Acupuncture Killer

818
00:35:01,233 --> 00:35:02,532
and the producers are--

819
00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:07,404
BRIAN: <i>I'm not even supposed
to be here right now.</i>

820
00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:09,573
Rumors are flying
all over Hollywood

821
00:35:09,575 --> 00:35:11,341
about who Brian O'Halloran
is going to cast

822
00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:12,776
in his movie<i> The Odyssey</i>,

823
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:16,513
which is due
to start filming very soon.

824
00:35:16,515 --> 00:35:19,449
O'Halloran, fucker.

825
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:27,424
(♪♪♪)

826
00:35:27,426 --> 00:35:29,126
BRIAN: (On voice message)
<i>This is Brian O'Halloran.</i>

827
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:30,827
<i>Clearly, I'm not supposed
to be here right now.</i>

828
00:35:30,828 --> 00:35:32,528
<i>So leave me a message
after the beep.</i>

829
00:35:32,531 --> 00:35:34,631
Stan tea, please.

830
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:37,467
Hey, can you please uh,
maybe give me a call back

831
00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:39,136
or answer your phone?

832
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:42,205
Thanks, brother.

833
00:35:42,207 --> 00:35:43,907
Fucker, man!

834
00:35:43,908 --> 00:35:45,608
He's-- track you down
and kick that ass.

835
00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:48,478
Oh shit.
Oh shit.

836
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:49,446
DEAN:
Jay, it's me.

837
00:35:49,448 --> 00:35:50,770
(Clears throat)

838
00:35:50,771 --> 00:35:52,093
DEAN:
It's me, Jason.

839
00:35:52,094 --> 00:35:53,416
Me?
Who-- who's me?

840
00:35:53,418 --> 00:35:55,318
- It's Dean.
- Dean Cain, whoa!

841
00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:57,219
Dude, no!
Sh-- shut up.

842
00:35:57,222 --> 00:35:58,455
If I get caught out here,
I'm gonna be signing shit

843
00:35:58,457 --> 00:36:00,390
for a month.

844
00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:02,324
Okay, you have no idea how fast
these fuckers mobilize.

845
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:03,693
Yeah, dude,
it's great to see you, cuz,

846
00:36:03,695 --> 00:36:05,695
but I don't think anyone cares,
brother.

847
00:36:05,697 --> 00:36:07,297
I broke this fucking kid's heart
yesterday,

848
00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:08,498
because I couldn't fly.

849
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,067
You can't fly?

850
00:36:10,068 --> 00:36:11,635
He wanted me to take off
right then and there.

851
00:36:11,637 --> 00:36:13,537
- Seriously?
- I shit you not.

852
00:36:13,539 --> 00:36:15,422
But it's pretty cool, dude,

853
00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:17,306
you have cemented yourself
into history.

854
00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:19,276
You played fucking Superman.

855
00:36:19,277 --> 00:36:21,244
I could negotiate peace
in the Middle East

856
00:36:21,246 --> 00:36:23,580
whilst unifying Korea
into one single harmonious state

857
00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:26,216
and figure out who shot JFK.

858
00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:28,652
And guess what they'd wanna
fucking talk to me about?

859
00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,287
That is sort of a bummer.

860
00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:33,190
I seem 'em in my dreams.

861
00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:34,624
The fan boys,
they are everywhere.

862
00:36:34,626 --> 00:36:37,260
I can't escape
even when I'm asleep.

863
00:36:37,262 --> 00:36:39,262
I'm gonna get shot one day

864
00:36:39,264 --> 00:36:40,263
and you know
what the last thing is

865
00:36:40,265 --> 00:36:41,698
that I'm gonna see?

866
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:44,401
Um, Zod?

867
00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:45,669
It's gonna be
the disappointed face

868
00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:48,205
of some fanatic

869
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:50,740
who is absolutely astounded
that I can't stop a bullet.

870
00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:52,742
Bullets, they fucking pierce me,
Jason.

871
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:54,544
Fuck!

872
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,748
(Dean taking deep breaths)

873
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,550
So I hear
you've been busy lately.

874
00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:02,351
Yeah, dude, I just had
this sweet gig, man, that's--

875
00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:03,553
That's-- that's not
what I'm talking about.

876
00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:05,355
- Arrested.
- Oh.

877
00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:06,623
How's that working out for you?

878
00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:08,491
Really good, bro.

879
00:37:08,493 --> 00:37:10,093
I'm telling you like people
have seen me

880
00:37:10,094 --> 00:37:11,694
- in a whole different way.
- That's good, that's good.

881
00:37:11,697 --> 00:37:12,796
What have you got lined up next?

882
00:37:12,798 --> 00:37:15,015
Uh, nothing right now, but--

883
00:37:15,016 --> 00:37:17,233
Jason, you have to hit now
while the iron is hot, man.

884
00:37:17,236 --> 00:37:18,769
You need
to capitalize right now,

885
00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:20,303
get the roles
while you're benefiting

886
00:37:20,305 --> 00:37:22,005
from the extra profile.

887
00:37:22,006 --> 00:37:23,706
I'm actually trying to get this
script right now, right?

888
00:37:23,709 --> 00:37:25,742
- It's written by Brian O'--
- O'Halloran.

889
00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:26,994
- Yeah, right.
- You know it?

890
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,245
Dude, everybody knows it.

891
00:37:28,247 --> 00:37:30,531
It's the talk of the town.

892
00:37:30,532 --> 00:37:32,816
They're already scheduling it
for an Oscar seasons release.

893
00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:35,385
Is-- is O'Halloran--
is he gonna hook you up?

894
00:37:35,387 --> 00:37:36,686
Well, I mean I'm hoping
that he's gonna hook me up

895
00:37:36,688 --> 00:37:38,104
with the lead.

896
00:37:38,105 --> 00:37:39,521
But wait, did you say Oscars,
bro?

897
00:37:39,524 --> 00:37:41,625
You--

898
00:37:43,262 --> 00:37:44,794
- What?
- Have you been behaving, Jason.

899
00:37:44,796 --> 00:37:46,229
Of course, I am.

900
00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:47,663
You're not back on the--
I mean, you know?

901
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,267
No! No.

902
00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:51,334
Studio picture?

903
00:37:51,336 --> 00:37:53,069
You fucking kidding me?

904
00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:54,803
You think the studio
is gonna offer you the lead

905
00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:56,806
in an Oscar hopeful?

906
00:37:56,808 --> 00:37:59,743
Even if O'Halloran really goes
to bat for you,

907
00:37:59,745 --> 00:38:02,746
you still gotta get arrested
again for the extra headlines.

908
00:38:02,748 --> 00:38:03,847
Wait, what?

909
00:38:03,849 --> 00:38:05,482
Even if O'Halloran--

910
00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:06,683
No, no, no,
about the arrest thing.

911
00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:08,485
- Where do we--
- Hey!

912
00:38:08,487 --> 00:38:09,886
- Can I grab a quick picture?
- Oh, me?

913
00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:11,421
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure, yeah.

914
00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:13,490
Hey, man, alright.

915
00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:16,526
So, alrighty.

916
00:38:16,528 --> 00:38:17,939
- Nice, bro.
- Awesome.

917
00:38:17,940 --> 00:38:19,351
- Pound it, pound it.
- Yeah, bro.

918
00:38:19,352 --> 00:38:20,763
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

919
00:38:20,766 --> 00:38:21,865
Yeah.

920
00:38:23,568 --> 00:38:25,335
Be careful, Jason.

921
00:38:25,337 --> 00:38:28,605
And don't do anything stupid,
it's not worth it.

922
00:38:28,607 --> 00:38:29,639
Alright, I know, that's good.

923
00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:30,907
You're gonna get up?

924
00:38:30,909 --> 00:38:32,342
No, no, I'm good.
I'm good here.

925
00:38:32,344 --> 00:38:33,376
Okay.

926
00:38:33,378 --> 00:38:34,344
I'll see you later, bro.

927
00:38:34,346 --> 00:38:35,662
Good to see you.

928
00:38:35,663 --> 00:38:36,979
Oh, c-- co--
could you get me my coffee?

929
00:38:39,885 --> 00:38:41,351
JAY:
Here.

930
00:38:41,353 --> 00:38:42,452
Thanks.

931
00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:47,524
NEWS ANCHOR: The LAPD is
a buzz today after news

932
00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:50,760
of a witness coming forward
in the Vinnie Jones murder case.

933
00:38:50,762 --> 00:38:52,662
Information is scarce
at this point,

934
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:56,466
but our sources believe
the witness did see the murderer

935
00:38:56,468 --> 00:38:58,568
and will be able
to identify him.

936
00:38:58,570 --> 00:39:01,571
As of yet, we have no comment
from Mr. Jones's representatives

937
00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:03,473
or indeed from Jason Mewes,

938
00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:06,476
who was arrested
on the same morning as Jones.

939
00:39:06,478 --> 00:39:09,479
Stay with us as the day gets--

940
00:39:09,481 --> 00:39:11,581
Wait a second.

941
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:14,017
I'm hearing
that we've located Mr. Mewes

942
00:39:14,019 --> 00:39:16,519
and our reporter Oliver
is with him live.

943
00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:17,554
Oliver?

944
00:39:17,556 --> 00:39:19,072
Mr. Mewes!

945
00:39:19,073 --> 00:39:20,589
How do you feel
about recent events

946
00:39:20,590 --> 00:39:22,106
regarding the murder case
of your good friend

947
00:39:22,107 --> 00:39:23,623
and notorious ball grabber
Vinnie Jones?

948
00:39:23,628 --> 00:39:25,195
A witness has come forward
to say

949
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,763
they remember seeing the driver
on the night of the murder.

950
00:39:26,765 --> 00:39:28,081
Wait, what?

951
00:39:28,082 --> 00:39:29,398
Are you now willing to admit
that your good friend

952
00:39:29,399 --> 00:39:30,715
is a killer
and never actually let go

953
00:39:30,716 --> 00:39:32,032
of his British
gangland connections?

954
00:39:32,037 --> 00:39:34,671
NEWS REPORTER 4: Is it true Jones
has been a secret gangland boss

955
00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:36,656
terrorizing Hollywood?

956
00:39:36,657 --> 00:39:38,640
Does Vinnie get his movie roles
through intimidation?

957
00:39:38,643 --> 00:39:39,723
No way, he is a very nice guy--

958
00:39:39,724 --> 00:39:40,804
What are you not telling us,
Mr. Mewes?

959
00:39:40,805 --> 00:39:41,885
Mr. Mewes!
Mr. Mewes!

960
00:39:41,886 --> 00:39:42,966
- What are you not--
- Mr. Mewes!

961
00:39:42,967 --> 00:39:44,047
Mr. Mewes!

962
00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:54,124
(♪♪♪)

963
00:40:04,102 --> 00:40:14,177
(♪♪♪)

964
00:40:24,956 --> 00:40:26,523
Police are keeping
tightly sealed

965
00:40:26,525 --> 00:40:27,757
as to the identity
of the witness

966
00:40:27,759 --> 00:40:29,726
in the Vinnie Jones murder case,

967
00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:31,694
but many are speculating
as to who it could be.

968
00:40:31,696 --> 00:40:32,829
I mean it literally
could be anyone.

969
00:40:32,831 --> 00:40:34,030
LA is a really big place.

970
00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:35,698
It's not me.

971
00:40:39,838 --> 00:40:42,071
JAY:
There he is.

972
00:40:42,073 --> 00:40:43,973
(Indistinct speech)

973
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:46,042
Alright, I'm...

974
00:40:46,044 --> 00:40:47,143
...just gonna warn him.

975
00:40:47,145 --> 00:40:48,611
Just warn him.

976
00:40:48,613 --> 00:40:58,721
(♪♪♪)

977
00:41:15,874 --> 00:41:16,940
Bro, it's okay.

978
00:41:16,942 --> 00:41:18,074
It's just...

979
00:41:18,076 --> 00:41:19,809
Don't be startled like, uh...

980
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:20,743
Hey, bro, it's-- it's cool.

981
00:41:20,745 --> 00:41:21,744
Look, hey!

982
00:41:21,746 --> 00:41:23,062
It's cool.

983
00:41:23,063 --> 00:41:24,379
I just wanted to know
where Stan Lee lives.

984
00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:25,696
I know he lives close.

985
00:41:25,697 --> 00:41:27,013
I just need a little help
getting to his house.

986
00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:28,318
Fuck, don't you fucking move--

987
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,619
Or I'll cut you, bitch.

988
00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:31,187
What are you doing?

989
00:41:31,188 --> 00:41:32,754
When they ask you
if you saw me that night

990
00:41:32,757 --> 00:41:34,757
you're gonna say you didn't.

991
00:41:34,759 --> 00:41:36,893
I d-- I-- I didn't see you.

992
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:38,361
Wait, what?

993
00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:39,828
No, I-- I thought I saw
that British soccer guy

994
00:41:39,831 --> 00:41:41,064
they keep putting on the news.

995
00:41:41,066 --> 00:41:42,732
It was dark I th--

996
00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:44,033
I saw...

997
00:41:46,771 --> 00:41:48,271
- JAY: Hey!
- No!

998
00:41:48,273 --> 00:41:50,240
I thought you were giving me
a warning.

999
00:41:50,242 --> 00:41:52,242
- But I am.
- You're trying to kill me.

1000
00:41:52,244 --> 00:41:54,844
No, no, no,
you were trying to run away.

1001
00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:56,279
You're that silent Jay guy.

1002
00:41:56,281 --> 00:41:57,514
(Grunting)

1003
00:41:57,516 --> 00:41:58,515
Whoa!

1004
00:41:58,517 --> 00:42:00,250
(Vomiting)

1005
00:42:00,252 --> 00:42:02,785
Look, what you made me do!

1006
00:42:02,787 --> 00:42:04,921
Oh, I need 911, 911!

1007
00:42:04,923 --> 00:42:05,822
Oh, here, let me get it for you.

1008
00:42:05,824 --> 00:42:07,090
(Yelling)

1009
00:42:07,092 --> 00:42:08,625
(Grunting)

1010
00:42:11,530 --> 00:42:13,296
(Grunting)

1011
00:42:13,298 --> 00:42:15,532
Oh fuck!

1012
00:42:15,534 --> 00:42:17,967
I need an amb-- ambulance.

1013
00:42:17,969 --> 00:42:19,068
- Shit, dude, alright.
- God, I'm dying.

1014
00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:20,670
Dude, that should be okay.

1015
00:42:20,671 --> 00:42:22,271
What-- what, um,
what street is this, again?

1016
00:42:22,274 --> 00:42:26,075
It's Maple Boulevard,
you fucking asshole!

1017
00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:27,677
Holy shit!

1018
00:42:27,678 --> 00:42:29,278
That was your face that night.

1019
00:42:29,281 --> 00:42:30,880
It's coming back to me.

1020
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,048
I'm gonna make you fucking pay.

1021
00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:34,067
I'm gonna tell 'em what you did.

1022
00:42:34,068 --> 00:42:36,085
I'm gonna make you fucking pay,
you bastard!

1023
00:42:36,087 --> 00:42:38,187
You're looking pretty pale, bro.

1024
00:42:38,189 --> 00:42:41,958
Are you fucking kidding me?

1025
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,426
No, no, don't g--

1026
00:42:43,427 --> 00:42:44,893
Don't go, don't go away, please,
come back.

1027
00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:46,229
Call an ambulance please.

1028
00:42:46,231 --> 00:42:48,131
I didn't see anything
that night, man.

1029
00:42:48,133 --> 00:42:49,366
I don't know--
I don't know your face.

1030
00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:50,600
I don't know what you look like.

1031
00:42:50,601 --> 00:42:51,834
I've never seen any
of your movies.

1032
00:42:51,836 --> 00:42:54,721
That's good.

1033
00:42:54,722 --> 00:42:57,607
I wasn't even supposed
to be here today, bro.

1034
00:42:57,609 --> 00:42:59,142
What are you doing?

1035
00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:01,177
What are you--

1036
00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:02,211
Oh!

1037
00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:03,396
No, no, no, no.

1038
00:43:03,397 --> 00:43:04,580
Pleased don't--
don't do that.

1039
00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,049
Don't-- don't--

1040
00:43:06,051 --> 00:43:08,117
Put that in your pocket,
go put it in your pocket.

1041
00:43:08,119 --> 00:43:09,919
Put it away, put it away!

1042
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,220
Oh, oh, no.

1043
00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:12,889
THE WITNESS:
Please, don't.

1044
00:43:12,891 --> 00:43:14,624
Ow, shit!

1045
00:43:14,626 --> 00:43:16,292
Why did you do that?

1046
00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:18,628
Look, dude, I was just here
to warn you, bro.

1047
00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:21,898
It don't come natural to me,
I'm not a cold-blooded killer!

1048
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,200
I'm f--

1049
00:43:24,202 --> 00:43:27,003
I feel like...

1050
00:43:27,005 --> 00:43:29,305
I'm dizzy.

1051
00:43:29,307 --> 00:43:31,874
Oh shit.

1052
00:43:31,876 --> 00:43:33,626
What am I doing?

1053
00:43:33,627 --> 00:43:35,377
I almost fucking actually killed
this motherfucker on purpose.

1054
00:43:35,380 --> 00:43:37,313
Oh God,
what the fuck am I doing?

1055
00:43:37,315 --> 00:43:39,015
What the fuck!

1056
00:43:39,017 --> 00:43:40,016
Wait a second.

1057
00:43:40,018 --> 00:43:42,018
Wait.

1058
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:45,221
Vinnie's in jail.

1059
00:43:45,223 --> 00:43:46,990
They're gonna know
it wasn't him.

1060
00:43:46,992 --> 00:43:57,033
(♪♪♪)

1061
00:44:04,709 --> 00:44:08,144
JAY:
(Indistinct whispering)

1062
00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:13,249
Okay, that's right.

1063
00:44:13,251 --> 00:44:14,601
(Yelling)

1064
00:44:14,602 --> 00:44:15,952
JAY: Shit! Holy fuck!

1065
00:44:15,954 --> 00:44:17,120
(Grunting)

1066
00:44:17,122 --> 00:44:18,121
JAY:
Holy fuck!

1067
00:44:18,123 --> 00:44:19,656
Holy fuck!

1068
00:44:19,658 --> 00:44:20,957
(Man grunting)

1069
00:44:20,959 --> 00:44:23,059
Holy sh--

1070
00:44:23,061 --> 00:44:25,194
Holy shit.

1071
00:44:25,196 --> 00:44:26,729
Breathe out, man.

1072
00:44:26,731 --> 00:44:29,065
(Taking deep breaths)

1073
00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:41,411
(♪♪♪)

1074
00:44:41,413 --> 00:44:44,313
(Door buzzing)

1075
00:44:47,218 --> 00:44:48,818
JAY:
Oh, come, man.

1076
00:44:50,755 --> 00:44:52,822
Oof!

1077
00:44:52,824 --> 00:44:54,123
- Excuse me?
- Whoa!

1078
00:44:54,125 --> 00:44:55,675
- (Screaming)
- Dude.

1079
00:44:55,676 --> 00:44:57,226
GEORGE: What the fuck
is wrong with you, man?

1080
00:44:57,228 --> 00:44:58,728
Well, what's wrong with you,
bro?

1081
00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:00,229
What the fuck is wrong with you,
bro?

1082
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:01,853
JAY:
Who-- who are you?

1083
00:45:01,854 --> 00:45:03,476
I have fucking nerve issues,
man.

1084
00:45:03,477 --> 00:45:05,099
You can't just randomly scream
in people's faces.

1085
00:45:05,103 --> 00:45:06,469
You don't know me,
you could've killed me, man.

1086
00:45:06,471 --> 00:45:08,071
So you're a security officer.

1087
00:45:08,073 --> 00:45:10,106
I'm the fucking
security officer.

1088
00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:13,142
George Abrahams,
security officer.

1089
00:45:13,144 --> 00:45:15,378
A security officer
with nerve issues.

1090
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:16,913
Dude, I'm-- I'm a fucking--

1091
00:45:16,914 --> 00:45:18,447
I'm a security guard machine,
sir.

1092
00:45:18,450 --> 00:45:21,250
I'm like a 365° radar, man.

1093
00:45:21,252 --> 00:45:22,752
I see all the angles, dog.

1094
00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:23,853
You can't get past me.

1095
00:45:23,855 --> 00:45:25,555
Well, I apologize for that,

1096
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:27,256
because I do need
to see Ferrango, man.

1097
00:45:27,258 --> 00:45:28,758
Can't do it.

1098
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,660
I have to warn him.

1099
00:45:30,661 --> 00:45:32,561
What do you have
to warn him about?

1100
00:45:32,562 --> 00:45:34,462
There's a-- a Latina girl,
and a couple of her friends,

1101
00:45:34,466 --> 00:45:36,299
and I passed them
when I was coming here.

1102
00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:38,134
Fuck,
they're dangerous in a group.

1103
00:45:38,136 --> 00:45:39,268
- JAY: Yeah.
- Shit.

1104
00:45:39,270 --> 00:45:41,537
Which direction?

1105
00:45:41,538 --> 00:45:43,805
Uh, that way,
about three blocks.

1106
00:45:45,510 --> 00:45:48,277
- GEORGE: Thanks, dude.
- Cool.

1107
00:45:48,279 --> 00:45:57,887
(♪♪♪)

1108
00:45:57,889 --> 00:45:59,789
I got your knight.

1109
00:45:59,791 --> 00:46:01,290
You know what that means.

1110
00:46:06,297 --> 00:46:09,365
Ay este pendejo!

1111
00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:11,267
You've been reading it too fast.

1112
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:12,935
I can tell just by looking
at you.

1113
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,403
What page are you on?

1114
00:46:14,405 --> 00:46:15,905
I-- I don't know,
like 200.

1115
00:46:15,907 --> 00:46:17,974
C--

1116
00:46:24,549 --> 00:46:32,221
(♪♪♪)

1117
00:46:32,223 --> 00:46:34,257
Hey, hey, snap out of it.

1118
00:46:34,259 --> 00:46:36,459
What did I tell about keeping
those feelings in check?

1119
00:46:37,796 --> 00:46:39,462
Just-- just go home.
Go home.

1120
00:46:39,464 --> 00:46:41,014
Sleep it off.

1121
00:46:41,015 --> 00:46:42,565
Forget about the book
for a couple of weeks.

1122
00:46:42,567 --> 00:46:44,517
It's working a little bit.

1123
00:46:44,518 --> 00:46:46,468
- It's sort of work--
- I am so sorry, Mr. Villareal.

1124
00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:47,970
He-- he snucked past me.

1125
00:46:47,972 --> 00:46:50,006
You Brutus
motherfucking Spoodle.

1126
00:46:50,008 --> 00:46:51,340
FERNANDO:
It's okay, it's okay.

1127
00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:52,575
Mewes! Mewes!

1128
00:46:52,577 --> 00:46:54,844
You have to relax, man.

1129
00:46:54,846 --> 00:46:56,579
Process everything
that's going on

1130
00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:59,048
before you go loco.

1131
00:47:04,489 --> 00:47:14,564
(♪♪♪)

1132
00:47:37,121 --> 00:47:40,122
(Music playing on radio)

1133
00:47:45,597 --> 00:47:47,330
(Grunts)

1134
00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:57,506
(♪♪♪)

1135
00:47:58,509 --> 00:47:59,876
(Stan sighs)

1136
00:47:59,878 --> 00:48:01,978
Damn Hollywood.

1137
00:48:01,979 --> 00:48:04,079
All these actors are turning it
into a warzone.

1138
00:48:04,082 --> 00:48:06,082
But these guys
covered their tracks.

1139
00:48:06,084 --> 00:48:07,984
Definitely some madness
in their method.

1140
00:48:07,986 --> 00:48:11,153
It's method in the madness,
you idiot.

1141
00:48:11,155 --> 00:48:13,606
Fair enough.

1142
00:48:13,607 --> 00:48:16,058
You do know that Jason Mewes
is linked to this case, right?

1143
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,077
He is?

1144
00:48:18,078 --> 00:48:20,095
He was arrested the same day
as Vinnie Jones.

1145
00:48:20,098 --> 00:48:22,164
But don't you know Jason Mewes?

1146
00:48:22,166 --> 00:48:23,633
Jason Mewes?

1147
00:48:23,635 --> 00:48:25,635
That smoochie boochie guy?

1148
00:48:25,637 --> 00:48:28,037
Yes, the snoochie boochie guy.
Yeah, that guy.

1149
00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:31,507
I never met him, but, boy,
I heard he's a knucklehead.

1150
00:48:31,509 --> 00:48:33,142
Well, we all can't be saints.

1151
00:48:33,144 --> 00:48:34,911
(Sighs)

1152
00:48:34,913 --> 00:48:36,445
Oh crap,
here comes the detective.

1153
00:48:36,447 --> 00:48:38,547
Look, I uh, I got nothing good
to tell him here.

1154
00:48:38,549 --> 00:48:39,548
You might wanna--
(Clicking tongue)

1155
00:48:39,550 --> 00:48:40,683
Enough said.

1156
00:48:40,685 --> 00:48:42,018
I'm out of here.

1157
00:48:42,020 --> 00:48:43,470
Upward and onward, Jim.

1158
00:48:43,471 --> 00:48:44,921
DETECTIVE JIM: Yeah, yeah,
yeah, onward and upward.

1159
00:48:44,923 --> 00:48:46,489
Wayne!

1160
00:48:46,491 --> 00:48:48,257
Wayne.

1161
00:48:48,259 --> 00:48:49,458
Good--

1162
00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:50,553
(Grunts)

1163
00:48:50,554 --> 00:48:51,647
DETECTIVE JIM:
Good to see you, sir.

1164
00:48:51,648 --> 00:48:52,741
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Who's that?

1165
00:48:52,742 --> 00:48:53,835
Oh, this is Stan Lee.

1166
00:48:53,836 --> 00:48:54,929
- He's the neighbor.
- Legend.

1167
00:48:54,933 --> 00:48:56,716
DETECTIVE JIM: Yeah. Yes, he is.

1168
00:48:56,717 --> 00:48:58,500
Shut up,
give me some good news.

1169
00:48:58,503 --> 00:48:59,903
I got nothing.

1170
00:48:59,904 --> 00:49:01,304
This guy was either
a professional

1171
00:49:01,305 --> 00:49:02,705
or he was
one lucky son of a bitch.

1172
00:49:02,707 --> 00:49:04,349
You have the murder weapon?

1173
00:49:04,350 --> 00:49:05,992
My guys are
searching the area right now,

1174
00:49:05,993 --> 00:49:07,635
but I'll be honest with you,
Wayne,

1175
00:49:07,636 --> 00:49:09,278
I don't think we're gonna have
positive results.

1176
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,614
If this was gangland,
they're not sloppy.

1177
00:49:11,616 --> 00:49:13,082
We're not gonna find shit.

1178
00:49:13,084 --> 00:49:14,517
Go.

1179
00:49:14,519 --> 00:49:16,485
Fucking idiot.

1180
00:49:16,487 --> 00:49:17,687
(Sighs)

1181
00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,556
You motherfucker!

1182
00:49:23,561 --> 00:49:25,094
Something's definitely
not right.

1183
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:32,115
- Jason.
- What?

1184
00:49:32,116 --> 00:49:32,762
NEWS ANCHOR: ...the most recent
incident in the Jones murder case.

1185
00:49:32,763 --> 00:49:33,409
Over to Oliver
for all the latest.

1186
00:49:33,410 --> 00:49:34,056
We now have confirmation
that the body of the victim

1187
00:49:34,057 --> 00:49:34,703
is principal witness
in the Vinnie Jones murder case.

1188
00:49:34,706 --> 00:49:37,106
LAPD sources are also telling us
the body of the victim

1189
00:49:37,108 --> 00:49:39,976
was found with a symbol carved
into its chest.

1190
00:49:39,978 --> 00:49:41,528
Rumor has it that this symbol

1191
00:49:41,529 --> 00:49:43,079
is a British gangland
murder tag,

1192
00:49:43,081 --> 00:49:44,680
indicating an execution.

1193
00:49:44,682 --> 00:49:46,315
As you can see
from the police photos,

1194
00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:48,284
Mr. Jones does have
a gangland scar

1195
00:49:48,286 --> 00:49:49,685
on his chest.

1196
00:49:49,687 --> 00:49:51,153
Whether this links him
to the murder

1197
00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:54,090
only time will tell.

1198
00:49:54,092 --> 00:49:55,992
Do you really think that
Vinnie had something to do

1199
00:49:55,994 --> 00:49:57,727
- with these murders?
- You know what?

1200
00:49:57,729 --> 00:50:00,096
I'm sort of distracting myself
from it all.

1201
00:50:00,098 --> 00:50:01,431
Huh.

1202
00:50:01,432 --> 00:50:02,765
You know, do whatever makes you
feel good.

1203
00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:04,723
JAY:
Hmm.

1204
00:50:04,724 --> 00:50:06,680
And then maybe
while you're at it

1205
00:50:06,681 --> 00:50:08,637
you could fix the roof
like you've been promising.

1206
00:50:08,639 --> 00:50:11,374
Oh, I have to buy a nail gun,
so...

1207
00:50:11,376 --> 00:50:14,610
If you go now, you can be back
before the party.

1208
00:50:14,612 --> 00:50:16,679
- Party?
- You forgot about the party.

1209
00:50:16,681 --> 00:50:18,214
You know that Kevin
doesn't wanna go

1210
00:50:18,216 --> 00:50:19,682
to Esteban's by himself.

1211
00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:20,750
(Sighs)

1212
00:50:23,388 --> 00:50:25,688
Snoochie boochies.

1213
00:50:25,690 --> 00:50:27,056
Snoochie boochies.

1214
00:50:31,763 --> 00:50:34,397
JAY:
I am the clit commander.

1215
00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:39,301
Jason Mewes
continues his unlikely rise

1216
00:50:39,303 --> 00:50:40,803
up the Movie Star Rating charts

1217
00:50:40,805 --> 00:50:43,039
as he finds himself back
in the headlines

1218
00:50:43,041 --> 00:50:45,441
after the Vinnie Jones witness
was found murdered overnight.

1219
00:50:45,443 --> 00:50:47,109
Yes.

1220
00:50:47,111 --> 00:50:49,145
(Takes a deep breath)

1221
00:50:49,146 --> 00:50:51,180
BRIAN: I'm not even supposed
to be here right now.

1222
00:50:53,317 --> 00:50:55,418
Brian O'Halloran has confirmed
shooting on<i> The Odyssey</i>

1223
00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:57,319
is set to begin
at the start of next month,

1224
00:50:57,321 --> 00:50:59,755
which means a cast announcement
must be imminent

1225
00:50:59,757 --> 00:51:01,724
as it seems half of Hollywood
wants in

1226
00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:03,793
on the likely Oscar contender.

1227
00:51:03,795 --> 00:51:06,128
I'm closing in on you,
motherfucker.

1228
00:51:06,130 --> 00:51:08,731
Carrie,
I'm going out to buy a nail gun.

1229
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:19,141
(♪♪♪)

1230
00:51:19,143 --> 00:51:22,144
(Phone rings)

1231
00:51:22,146 --> 00:51:23,902
POLICE CHIEF ANDERSON:
Chief Anderson.

1232
00:51:23,903 --> 00:51:25,659
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the phone)
<i>Chief, detective Arnold here.</i>

1233
00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:27,416
POLICE CHIEF ANDERSON:
What is it, detective?

1234
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:28,734
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the phone)
<i>I wanna bring Jason Mewes back in.</i>

1235
00:51:28,735 --> 00:51:30,051
You already questioned Mewes
and got nothing.

1236
00:51:30,052 --> 00:51:31,368
You repeat that process

1237
00:51:31,369 --> 00:51:32,685
and what does this department
look like to the press?

1238
00:51:32,690 --> 00:51:35,424
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the phone)
<i>Oh, come on, he's gonna talk.</i>

1239
00:51:35,425 --> 00:51:38,159
<i>- I just need him to--</i>
<i>-</i> Drop it, detective.

1240
00:51:38,162 --> 00:51:39,328
Do you understand me?

1241
00:51:39,329 --> 00:51:40,495
DETECTIVE ARNOLD: (On the phone)
<i>Alright, chief, whatever you say.</i>

1242
00:51:40,496 --> 00:51:41,662
<i>Sure.</i>

1243
00:51:41,663 --> 00:51:42,829
(Sighs)

1244
00:51:52,210 --> 00:51:53,442
POLICE CHIEF ANDERSON:
Hey, babe.

1245
00:51:55,313 --> 00:51:58,447
Yes, of course,
I'll be home about 8:00

1246
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:01,250
and I have the new handcuffs.

1247
00:52:06,324 --> 00:52:08,457
(Grunting)

1248
00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:11,393
(Sniffling
and taking deep breaths)

1249
00:52:11,395 --> 00:52:18,334
(♪♪♪)

1250
00:52:18,336 --> 00:52:20,136
Something just isn't right.

1251
00:52:24,375 --> 00:52:25,641
(Takes a deep breath)

1252
00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:26,908
Producers are raving
about the daily footage coming

1253
00:52:26,911 --> 00:52:29,478
from the Acupuncture Killer set,
explaining Jason Mewes

1254
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,147
is doing incredible work

1255
00:52:31,149 --> 00:52:32,648
and getting arrested
was the best thing

1256
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:35,101
that could have happened
to his career.

1257
00:52:35,102 --> 00:52:37,553
Otherwise, they never would have
thought of him for the role.

1258
00:52:40,191 --> 00:52:41,590
Tommy, could you tell me

1259
00:52:41,592 --> 00:52:43,592
where that Costalino guy worked,
again?

1260
00:52:43,594 --> 00:52:53,669
(♪♪♪)

1261
00:53:03,681 --> 00:53:06,315
Wait, what?
What the fuck did I just see?

1262
00:53:06,317 --> 00:53:07,950
- Excuse me?
- Answer the question.

1263
00:53:07,952 --> 00:53:09,318
I'm not your eyeballs, Jason.

1264
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,319
What were you just doing?

1265
00:53:10,321 --> 00:53:11,971
Skyping a girlfriend.

1266
00:53:11,972 --> 00:53:13,622
- What girlfriend is that?
- Megan from Europe.

1267
00:53:13,624 --> 00:53:16,192
Megan in Europe wanted
to see your titties?

1268
00:53:16,194 --> 00:53:17,560
What are you talking about?

1269
00:53:17,562 --> 00:53:19,328
When I walked through the door,

1270
00:53:19,330 --> 00:53:21,197
you were flashing your titties
to the camera.

1271
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:23,199
You've been acting
fucking crazy.

1272
00:53:23,201 --> 00:53:24,767
Is this what I'm gonna
have to deal

1273
00:53:24,768 --> 00:53:26,334
with every single time you're up
for some Hollywood role?

1274
00:53:26,337 --> 00:53:29,572
I need the old Jay back.

1275
00:53:29,574 --> 00:53:30,739
Silent Bob, too?

1276
00:53:30,741 --> 00:53:32,474
Fuck you!

1277
00:53:32,476 --> 00:53:33,976
I want the man
I fell in love with.

1278
00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:35,211
That's weird, 'cause you've been
a little distant

1279
00:53:35,213 --> 00:53:37,096
from him lately.

1280
00:53:37,097 --> 00:53:38,980
Jason, you're being
fucking paranoid, okay?

1281
00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,117
It's me.

1282
00:53:41,118 --> 00:53:43,252
You would love for me
to believe that, wouldn't you?

1283
00:53:44,755 --> 00:53:46,255
Where are you going?

1284
00:53:46,256 --> 00:53:47,756
Getting ready for the party.

1285
00:53:47,758 --> 00:53:57,833
(♪♪♪)

1286
00:54:18,789 --> 00:54:20,456
Hello, hello!

1287
00:54:20,458 --> 00:54:22,658
(Laughing)
Jason Mewes.

1288
00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:24,426
Danny Trejo, I didn't know
you'd be here

1289
00:54:24,428 --> 00:54:25,461
and what-- what's the--

1290
00:54:25,463 --> 00:54:26,896
(Laughing)

1291
00:54:26,897 --> 00:54:28,330
I'm method acting
for a new role now,

1292
00:54:28,332 --> 00:54:29,531
just run with it cabron,
alright?

1293
00:54:29,533 --> 00:54:31,300
Yeah, but, I don't--

1294
00:54:31,302 --> 00:54:33,535
I thought you'd be here
with your little Carrie.

1295
00:54:33,537 --> 00:54:35,704
She took her separate car,
she's gonna meet me here, but--

1296
00:54:35,706 --> 00:54:38,540
That better not be trouble
in paradise, I'm sensing, is it?

1297
00:54:38,542 --> 00:54:40,509
No, no, everything's good,
I promise.

1298
00:54:40,511 --> 00:54:42,411
Are you sure? 'Cause you know
you can talk to me.

1299
00:54:42,413 --> 00:54:44,546
I know, but I do not get like--
are you su--

1300
00:54:44,548 --> 00:54:47,449
Look, I've been wanting to have
a little chitty chatty poo

1301
00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:48,818
- with you.
- A little--

1302
00:54:48,819 --> 00:54:50,186
a little chitty chat?

1303
00:54:50,187 --> 00:54:51,554
Let's do it.
What's up?

1304
00:54:51,555 --> 00:54:52,922
DANNY:
Well, I've been hearing

1305
00:54:52,923 --> 00:54:54,290
about you having trouble
with the ball grabber.

1306
00:54:54,292 --> 00:54:55,692
The ball grabber?

1307
00:54:55,693 --> 00:54:57,093
DANNY:
That's what they call him.

1308
00:54:57,094 --> 00:54:58,494
And you know,
I worry about you, Jason.

1309
00:54:58,496 --> 00:55:00,829
- You know that.
- JAY: I know.

1310
00:55:00,831 --> 00:55:02,431
If that motherfucker fucks
with you,

1311
00:55:02,433 --> 00:55:04,500
I'll cut his fucking heart out.

1312
00:55:04,502 --> 00:55:05,934
Shit, Dan--
I mean I appreciate that.

1313
00:55:05,936 --> 00:55:07,303
Thank you.

1314
00:55:07,305 --> 00:55:08,570
You know
what they call me?

1315
00:55:08,572 --> 00:55:09,772
- Machete, right?
- (Laughing)

1316
00:55:09,774 --> 00:55:11,373
You know why?

1317
00:55:11,375 --> 00:55:13,409
Uh, because of the movie.

1318
00:55:13,411 --> 00:55:15,311
Because I got a big
motherfucking machete,

1319
00:55:15,313 --> 00:55:16,312
that's why.

1320
00:55:16,314 --> 00:55:18,547
A big machete.

1321
00:55:18,549 --> 00:55:20,549
Harley Quinn Smith!

1322
00:55:20,551 --> 00:55:22,484
Oh, as I live and breathe.

1323
00:55:22,486 --> 00:55:24,820
- HARLEY: Danny.
- Oh, be still my heart.

1324
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:26,522
Danny,
I didn't expect to see you here.

1325
00:55:26,524 --> 00:55:28,590
Why does everybody
keep saying that?

1326
00:55:28,592 --> 00:55:30,426
Can't a little girl
have some fun?

1327
00:55:30,428 --> 00:55:32,528
Dude, you're here
to pick Kevin up?

1328
00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:34,629
Yeah, I think he's enjoying
my new license more than I am.

1329
00:55:34,632 --> 00:55:35,964
Harley, oh my God!

1330
00:55:35,966 --> 00:55:37,466
- (Chuckling)
- Hi.

1331
00:55:37,467 --> 00:55:38,967
- Can we take a selfie?
- Of course.

1332
00:55:38,969 --> 00:55:40,736
Alright, I'm gonna go ahead,
alright, Harley.

1333
00:55:40,738 --> 00:55:41,870
- Bye.
- Uh, will you tell dad

1334
00:55:41,872 --> 00:55:43,622
that I'm waiting.

1335
00:55:43,623 --> 00:55:45,373
I'm too scared to go and I feel
like I'll never escape.

1336
00:55:45,376 --> 00:55:47,026
No problem, no problem.

1337
00:55:47,027 --> 00:55:48,677
Remember, it's not gay
as long as the balls

1338
00:55:48,679 --> 00:55:50,012
don't touch the chin.

1339
00:55:53,751 --> 00:55:54,983
Oh nice!
That's gonna be a keeper.

1340
00:55:54,985 --> 00:55:56,585
Pleasure.
Nice meeting you, man.

1341
00:55:56,587 --> 00:55:57,953
Sir!

1342
00:55:57,954 --> 00:55:59,320
Where the fuck have you been,
dude?

1343
00:55:59,321 --> 00:56:00,687
Where the fuck have you been?

1344
00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:01,790
Wait,
what are you talking about?

1345
00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:03,609
Don't fucking act like that.

1346
00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:05,427
Like you don't think I was gonna
fucking find out, man.

1347
00:56:05,429 --> 00:56:07,496
Motherfucker,
that shit is written

1348
00:56:07,498 --> 00:56:09,431
all over your face,
the goddamn guilt.

1349
00:56:09,433 --> 00:56:12,434
You didn't think I'd know.

1350
00:56:12,436 --> 00:56:13,986
What are you talking about?

1351
00:56:13,987 --> 00:56:15,537
I'm talking about you up
in that house sucking dick,

1352
00:56:15,539 --> 00:56:16,839
'cause I can see the cum
right there.

1353
00:56:16,841 --> 00:56:19,508
- None!
- Oh, shit!

1354
00:56:19,510 --> 00:56:20,809
Hey, you remember
when we jerked each other off

1355
00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:21,844
in the pool?

1356
00:56:21,846 --> 00:56:23,546
That's a great memory.

1357
00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:25,247
- Did you get that book?
- I did.

1358
00:56:25,248 --> 00:56:26,948
I read the book, dude,
and it is taking my craft

1359
00:56:26,951 --> 00:56:28,184
on a whole another level.

1360
00:56:28,185 --> 00:56:29,418
It's awesome.
Thank you.

1361
00:56:29,419 --> 00:56:30,652
Right on, man.
Fuck, you know what, dude?

1362
00:56:30,654 --> 00:56:32,304
Fuck all that holy shit.

1363
00:56:32,305 --> 00:56:33,955
I was just thinking,
Vinnie Jones.

1364
00:56:33,958 --> 00:56:35,657
What the fuck, man?

1365
00:56:35,659 --> 00:56:36,859
Don't shit in the pool.

1366
00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:37,914
(Chuckling)

1367
00:56:37,915 --> 00:56:38,968
Maybe he did have something
to do

1368
00:56:38,969 --> 00:56:40,022
with that casting director.

1369
00:56:40,023 --> 00:56:41,076
You know what I'm saying?

1370
00:56:41,077 --> 00:56:42,130
I'm serious,
don't shit in the pool.

1371
00:56:42,133 --> 00:56:44,533
Brian O'Halloran here?
Do you know if he showed up?

1372
00:56:44,535 --> 00:56:45,588
Are you serious?

1373
00:56:45,589 --> 00:56:46,642
I'm talking
about fucking Vinnie Jones,

1374
00:56:46,643 --> 00:56:47,696
you're talking about Bri--

1375
00:56:47,697 --> 00:56:48,750
Yeah, Brian O'Halloran
is fucking here,

1376
00:56:48,751 --> 00:56:49,804
I passed him on the way in.

1377
00:56:49,807 --> 00:56:51,140
Captain clitoris.

1378
00:56:51,141 --> 00:56:52,474
Oh!

1379
00:56:52,475 --> 00:56:53,808
I'm gonna go talk to him
about that--

1380
00:56:53,811 --> 00:56:55,978
Wait, Harley Quinn came here
to pick you up.

1381
00:56:55,980 --> 00:56:56,979
She's out front.
Sorry--

1382
00:56:56,981 --> 00:56:58,439
My fucking kid's here.

1383
00:56:58,440 --> 00:56:59,898
Why are we sitting here talking?

1384
00:56:59,899 --> 00:57:01,357
Let's get the fuck out of here,
bitch.

1385
00:57:01,358 --> 00:57:02,816
Jay and Silent Bob,
it's been a while.

1386
00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:04,320
- Hey!
- Hey!

1387
00:57:04,321 --> 00:57:05,821
Thank you so much
for coming to my party.

1388
00:57:05,823 --> 00:57:07,756
Our party.

1389
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,758
KEVIN: Oh my God,
I had a fucking blast.

1390
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,410
We've just been sitting
here talking,

1391
00:57:11,411 --> 00:57:13,061
he was upstairs having
misadventures in the house

1392
00:57:13,063 --> 00:57:14,096
and shit.

1393
00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:16,582
But I'm gonna go.

1394
00:57:16,583 --> 00:57:19,067
I got a-- a podcast to record
and I gotta light out of here.

1395
00:57:19,069 --> 00:57:20,102
I got like nine podcasts.

1396
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:21,103
So I've loved being here.

1397
00:57:21,105 --> 00:57:22,927
Thanks for having us.

1398
00:57:22,928 --> 00:57:24,750
But-- but we're
just getting started.

1399
00:57:24,751 --> 00:57:26,573
KEVIN: Sadly, I got my kid
sweating in the car like a dog

1400
00:57:26,577 --> 00:57:28,644
and I should probably go before
she overheats and dies.

1401
00:57:28,646 --> 00:57:29,812
- Pleasure!
- Thank you.

1402
00:57:29,814 --> 00:57:33,081
- Pleasure.
- Uh.

1403
00:57:33,083 --> 00:57:35,717
Sorry to hear
about the break-up, fellows.

1404
00:57:35,719 --> 00:57:37,186
Conscious uncoupling.

1405
00:57:37,187 --> 00:57:38,654
Jason, what are you doing
next Tuesday?

1406
00:57:38,656 --> 00:57:41,056
Jason is more my friend
than he is yours.

1407
00:57:41,058 --> 00:57:42,624
You already got too clingy
with Brian

1408
00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:44,593
and now he's leaving.
Kevin just left.

1409
00:57:44,595 --> 00:57:46,295
At this rate,
we're not gonna have

1410
00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:47,996
any famous people at our party!

1411
00:57:47,997 --> 00:57:49,697
Brian's leaving,
I gotta catch up with him.

1412
00:57:49,700 --> 00:57:51,711
Look what you did?

1413
00:57:51,712 --> 00:57:53,723
My famous friends
mean the world to me

1414
00:57:53,724 --> 00:57:55,735
and you-- you give
the world's worst blowjob.

1415
00:57:55,739 --> 00:57:56,805
ESTEBAN:
Mmhmm.

1416
00:57:56,806 --> 00:57:57,872
That's not
what your father said.

1417
00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,741
(Gasps)

1418
00:57:59,743 --> 00:58:01,499
BRIAN'S DATE: Not even
supposed to be here today.

1419
00:58:01,500 --> 00:58:03,256
BRIAN:
No, no, no, no, it's more like,

1420
00:58:03,257 --> 00:58:05,013
"I'm not even supposed
to be here today."

1421
00:58:05,015 --> 00:58:08,851
See the emphasis is stronger
at the start.

1422
00:58:08,853 --> 00:58:10,752
I'm not even supposed
to be here today.

1423
00:58:10,754 --> 00:58:11,753
There you go.

1424
00:58:11,755 --> 00:58:14,006
Much better.

1425
00:58:14,007 --> 00:58:16,258
You know, I keep all my emotions
like right here,

1426
00:58:16,260 --> 00:58:18,760
- on the surface.
- Hmm.

1427
00:58:18,762 --> 00:58:21,096
Stored and ready for action.

1428
00:58:21,098 --> 00:58:22,731
Hmm.

1429
00:58:22,733 --> 00:58:24,700
(Chuckling together)

1430
00:58:24,702 --> 00:58:29,004
It allows me to access
whatever my director needs.

1431
00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:30,706
Totally amazing.

1432
00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:34,843
For example um, pleasure.

1433
00:58:38,682 --> 00:58:41,984
Oh yeah, I like pleasure.

1434
00:58:41,986 --> 00:58:44,052
That makes two of us.

1435
00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:49,291
JAY:
Brian, hey, what's up, baby?

1436
00:58:49,293 --> 00:58:50,453
- Oh, hey.
- How you doing?

1437
00:58:50,454 --> 00:58:51,614
Jay, man,
how you doing?

1438
00:58:51,615 --> 00:58:52,775
JAY: I'm good, man. How are you?

1439
00:58:52,776 --> 00:58:53,936
It's been a while.

1440
00:58:53,937 --> 00:58:55,097
Uh, how is everything
since the arrest

1441
00:58:55,099 --> 00:58:56,615
and all that?

1442
00:58:56,616 --> 00:58:58,132
JAY:
Oh, yes, actually not that bad.

1443
00:58:58,133 --> 00:58:59,649
I've gotten some really
interesting roles,

1444
00:58:59,650 --> 00:59:01,166
because of the press
and the publicity.

1445
00:59:01,171 --> 00:59:02,688
It's made it like whoa--

1446
00:59:02,689 --> 00:59:04,206
Oh, dude, dude,
be careful with that press, yo.

1447
00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:05,724
You know how it can turn
on you, you know that.

1448
00:59:05,725 --> 00:59:07,242
Oh yeah, but-- hey,
has Kevin spoken to you

1449
00:59:07,244 --> 00:59:08,922
about<i> The Odyssey</i>?

1450
00:59:08,923 --> 00:59:10,601
You know, I'm confident we could
slide you in there.

1451
00:59:10,602 --> 00:59:12,280
Just give me a chance to talk
to the-- to the studio.

1452
00:59:12,283 --> 00:59:13,471
You're serious?

1453
00:59:13,472 --> 00:59:14,660
Dude, how long have I known you?

1454
00:59:14,661 --> 00:59:15,849
Of course, I'm serious.

1455
00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:17,052
Don't worry, Jay,
I got your back.

1456
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,637
It's so crazy, dude.

1457
00:59:18,638 --> 00:59:20,221
People were saying,
"Even if you can convince Brian

1458
00:59:20,224 --> 00:59:22,291
that you can carry
this studio movie,

1459
00:59:22,293 --> 00:59:23,904
he's never gonna
convince the studio

1460
00:59:23,905 --> 00:59:25,516
- to let you play the lead."
- Whoa, whoa, I-- I'm sorry.

1461
00:59:25,517 --> 00:59:27,128
Dude, you remember we were
talking about it on<i> Dogma</i>

1462
00:59:27,131 --> 00:59:28,297
so many years ago?

1463
00:59:28,299 --> 00:59:30,265
I knew then I was like perfect--

1464
00:59:30,267 --> 00:59:32,284
- BRIAN: Shit, Jay, Jay.
- For the part, dude.

1465
00:59:32,285 --> 00:59:34,302
Shit, Jay, um, I-- I--
I didn't know that you--

1466
00:59:34,305 --> 00:59:35,904
Were you thinking
I was talking about the lead?

1467
00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,256
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marcus, sorry dude.

1468
00:59:37,257 --> 00:59:38,607
The-- the--
remember the similarities

1469
00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:39,875
to me and him--

1470
00:59:39,877 --> 00:59:41,176
And how much we are alike.

1471
00:59:41,178 --> 00:59:42,144
- Shit, bro, I--
- I am--

1472
00:59:42,146 --> 00:59:43,701
(Chuckles)

1473
00:59:43,702 --> 00:59:45,257
I was thinking more
of a few lines

1474
00:59:45,258 --> 00:59:46,813
li-- like--
like a cameo or something.

1475
00:59:46,817 --> 00:59:48,228
What?
You don't think I'm capable?

1476
00:59:48,229 --> 00:59:49,640
- I'm capable, bro, like--
- No, no, no, no, no.

1477
00:59:49,641 --> 00:59:51,052
Listen, um, I gotta run.

1478
00:59:51,055 --> 00:59:53,355
Uh, what I'll do is
I'll call the studio

1479
00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:55,857
and I'll persuade them
to bring you in

1480
00:59:55,859 --> 00:59:57,175
for an audition or something.

1481
00:59:57,176 --> 00:59:58,492
- Yeah, an audition.
- BRIAN: Yeah, yeah?

1482
00:59:58,493 --> 00:59:59,809
Sure, yeah, yeah,
sounds great.

1483
00:59:59,810 --> 01:00:01,126
BRIAN: Alright,
I'll talk to you again.

1484
01:00:01,131 --> 01:00:04,722
- Thanks.
- We'll be in touch, alright?

1485
01:00:04,723 --> 01:00:08,314
Yeah, thanks, man.

1486
01:00:08,315 --> 01:00:11,906
(♪♪♪)

1487
01:00:11,909 --> 01:00:14,977
(Indistinct chatter)

1488
01:00:16,313 --> 01:00:18,113
Oh, if you'll excuse me,
I'll be right back.

1489
01:00:24,188 --> 01:00:25,253
Uh, Jason.

1490
01:00:25,255 --> 01:00:26,888
I'm so sorry about Tim.

1491
01:00:26,890 --> 01:00:29,057
Frankly, I'm embarrassed.

1492
01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:30,692
Oh, we should take a selfie
while you're here.

1493
01:00:30,694 --> 01:00:33,045
You could tweet it to me.

1494
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:35,397
My handle's @EstebanJovi
♪ blessed♪earthtoJason.

1495
01:00:35,399 --> 01:00:37,633
Hi, welcome to my party.
I'm talking to--

1496
01:00:37,635 --> 01:00:40,168
Dude, don't fucking touch me,
I'll kill you!

1497
01:00:40,170 --> 01:00:42,771
(Taking deep breaths)

1498
01:00:46,043 --> 01:00:47,175
Baby, you were so brave.

1499
01:00:47,177 --> 01:00:48,176
I know.

1500
01:00:48,178 --> 01:00:50,596
Jason!

1501
01:00:50,597 --> 01:00:53,015
Don't forget what I told you,
watch out for that ball grabber.

1502
01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:56,318
Brian!

1503
01:00:58,222 --> 01:00:59,655
Brian!

1504
01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:14,836
(♪♪♪)

1505
01:01:41,432 --> 01:01:43,365
JAY:
Officer Arnold.

1506
01:01:43,367 --> 01:01:45,467
It's detective.

1507
01:01:45,469 --> 01:01:47,369
JAY: What can I help you
with, my friend?

1508
01:01:47,371 --> 01:01:49,337
How exactly did you know

1509
01:01:49,339 --> 01:01:53,041
the casting director
Anthony Costalino?

1510
01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:54,443
I didn't.

1511
01:01:54,444 --> 01:01:55,844
Uh, I think the first time
I heard his name

1512
01:01:55,846 --> 01:01:57,112
was when you arrested me.

1513
01:01:57,114 --> 01:01:58,447
(Arnold laughing)

1514
01:01:58,449 --> 01:01:59,848
That's-- that's funny.

1515
01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:01,633
That's funny, you know why?

1516
01:02:01,634 --> 01:02:03,417
'Cause I called the studio
and they told me

1517
01:02:03,420 --> 01:02:07,122
that you are in a casting
with him that day.

1518
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:09,174
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Uh.

1519
01:02:09,175 --> 01:02:11,225
Um, I uh, well, I must--
must have forgot.

1520
01:02:11,228 --> 01:02:12,894
- I get a lot of--
- You must have.

1521
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:15,097
Call m-- a lot of casting calls.

1522
01:02:15,099 --> 01:02:16,865
Oh, it's just a big coincidence,
right?

1523
01:02:16,867 --> 01:02:18,389
Yeah, it must have been,
I guess--

1524
01:02:18,390 --> 01:02:19,912
But the thing is
I don't fucking believe

1525
01:02:19,913 --> 01:02:21,435
in coincidences, motherfucker.

1526
01:02:21,438 --> 01:02:23,171
And when I get enough evidence
on you,

1527
01:02:23,173 --> 01:02:24,406
I'm gonna bury you
and put you away

1528
01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:26,141
for a very long time.

1529
01:02:26,143 --> 01:02:27,509
(Chuckling)

1530
01:02:27,511 --> 01:02:28,443
Cool, man, what the fuck?

1531
01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:29,478
(Yelling)

1532
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,913
What the fuck, man?

1533
01:02:31,915 --> 01:02:33,415
Sleep well, Mewes.

1534
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:36,785
Your days of a free man
are slowly--

1535
01:02:36,787 --> 01:02:38,754
Dwindling--
fuck!

1536
01:02:46,530 --> 01:02:47,763
JAY:
Geena!

1537
01:02:47,765 --> 01:02:49,765
Geena!

1538
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:51,766
Hey, Geena, I need to speak
to you urgently!

1539
01:02:51,769 --> 01:02:53,468
GEENA:
Jesus, Mary's cunt!

1540
01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:55,904
You scared five years off of me,
asshole.

1541
01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:57,239
Have you ever thought
about smoking

1542
01:02:57,241 --> 01:02:59,775
a little marijuana?

1543
01:02:59,777 --> 01:03:01,777
It might settle you down
a touch.

1544
01:03:01,779 --> 01:03:05,447
I need s-- uh, some quick gigs,
preferably cash, big earners.

1545
01:03:05,449 --> 01:03:07,432
You need lots of money and fast.

1546
01:03:07,433 --> 01:03:09,416
How about a fricking knighthood
while I'm at it, Sir Jason.

1547
01:03:09,419 --> 01:03:11,453
I'm serious, Geena.

1548
01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:13,488
What happened to uh,
"I only want to do serious shit,

1549
01:03:13,490 --> 01:03:15,791
no more Snagins fucking goochy"?

1550
01:03:15,793 --> 01:03:16,792
I just might need
some quick cash

1551
01:03:16,794 --> 01:03:17,859
for something coming up.

1552
01:03:17,861 --> 01:03:19,261
Christ, Jason, what?

1553
01:03:19,263 --> 01:03:20,328
Hey, do you have
that lawyer's number

1554
01:03:20,330 --> 01:03:21,329
and can I have it?

1555
01:03:21,331 --> 01:03:23,198
You need to calm down.

1556
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:26,434
No, you need to give me a gig,
earn that percentage.

1557
01:03:26,436 --> 01:03:27,469
(Screaming)

1558
01:03:27,471 --> 01:03:28,470
(Grunting)

1559
01:03:28,472 --> 01:03:30,806
(Sighing)

1560
01:03:33,010 --> 01:03:34,376
(Indistinct speech)

1561
01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:38,814
- Excuse me.
- (Screaming)

1562
01:03:38,816 --> 01:03:40,065
- Shit!
- (George screaming)

1563
01:03:40,066 --> 01:03:41,315
- Fuck!
- GEORGE: Fuck you!

1564
01:03:41,318 --> 01:03:43,185
- Shit!
- What the fuck is wrong

1565
01:03:43,186 --> 01:03:45,053
with you fucking people, man,
this is shit.

1566
01:03:45,055 --> 01:03:47,389
Trying to get yourself
fucking killed?

1567
01:03:47,391 --> 01:03:49,858
You trying to get yourself
fucking killed?

1568
01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:50,892
Give me the code.

1569
01:03:50,894 --> 01:03:52,394
(Taking deep breaths)

1570
01:03:52,396 --> 01:03:54,296
GEORGE:
No.

1571
01:03:54,298 --> 01:03:55,330
What are you doing?

1572
01:03:55,332 --> 01:03:56,364
Give me the fucking code.

1573
01:03:56,366 --> 01:03:57,866
5-6-3-3-7-5--

1574
01:03:57,868 --> 01:03:59,267
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1575
01:03:59,269 --> 01:04:01,036
Put it in
with your fucking tongue.

1576
01:04:01,038 --> 01:04:02,003
- My tongue?
- Yes!

1577
01:04:02,005 --> 01:04:03,205
Okay.

1578
01:04:03,206 --> 01:04:04,406
- Are you sure?
- Do it!

1579
01:04:04,407 --> 01:04:05,607
- Okay.
- Now.

1580
01:04:05,609 --> 01:04:06,908
(Door buzzez)

1581
01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,009
It's open.

1582
01:04:08,011 --> 01:04:09,845
(George taking deep breath)

1583
01:04:09,847 --> 01:04:10,879
Thanks.

1584
01:04:10,881 --> 01:04:12,848
You're welcome.

1585
01:04:12,850 --> 01:04:14,015
Is it just straight down?

1586
01:04:14,017 --> 01:04:15,584
Yeah, yeah, to the left.

1587
01:04:17,454 --> 01:04:19,321
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Boss, it's detective Arnold.

1588
01:04:19,323 --> 01:04:20,455
I need to talk to you.

1589
01:04:23,126 --> 01:04:24,426
Chief?

1590
01:04:24,428 --> 01:04:25,861
Hello?

1591
01:04:25,863 --> 01:04:31,967
(♪♪♪)

1592
01:04:31,969 --> 01:04:34,035
Hello?

1593
01:04:35,606 --> 01:04:38,139
Breaking and entering mean much
to you, detective?

1594
01:04:38,141 --> 01:04:41,142
I heard some distress.

1595
01:04:41,143 --> 01:04:44,144
I-- It was uh, had justification
to uh, investigate.

1596
01:04:44,147 --> 01:04:47,382
Maybe I have justification
to fire your ass.

1597
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:48,750
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
What are you wearing?

1598
01:04:48,751 --> 01:04:50,117
Chief, I need to talk to you.

1599
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:51,953
Is this about Jason Mewes,
again?

1600
01:04:51,955 --> 01:04:54,005
Snoogans boy?

1601
01:04:54,006 --> 01:04:56,056
- He's a cool guy.
- Shut the fuck up, lover boy.

1602
01:04:56,059 --> 01:04:58,560
You're not that beautiful,
you know that?

1603
01:04:58,562 --> 01:04:59,561
Baby!

1604
01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:00,962
(Muttering)

1605
01:05:04,935 --> 01:05:06,468
Look into my eyes, detective.

1606
01:05:07,971 --> 01:05:09,604
It'll be
like transporting yourself

1607
01:05:09,606 --> 01:05:14,409
to an everlasting desert
of the purest beauty.

1608
01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:16,912
(Indistinct speech)

1609
01:05:16,914 --> 01:05:19,648
So you really think
that Jason Mewes plotted

1610
01:05:19,650 --> 01:05:23,051
and carried out a murder
under the noses of the LAPD?

1611
01:05:23,053 --> 01:05:24,553
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Jason Mewes was--

1612
01:05:24,554 --> 01:05:26,054
Vinnie Jones killed
that casting director

1613
01:05:26,056 --> 01:05:27,589
and ordered
the witness murdered.

1614
01:05:27,591 --> 01:05:29,391
- That's it.
- Bullshit!

1615
01:05:29,392 --> 01:05:31,192
Open and shut.
You're obsessed, detective.

1616
01:05:31,194 --> 01:05:33,128
Leave Mewes the fuck alone
or I will prosecute you

1617
01:05:33,130 --> 01:05:34,696
for breaking and entering.

1618
01:05:34,698 --> 01:05:37,265
Chief, you're not seeing
the trees for the wood.

1619
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:40,101
And what are you doing
with those eyes

1620
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:42,203
and using them as a--
some sort of weapon?

1621
01:05:42,205 --> 01:05:44,139
Stop doing that
with your fucking eyes, man!

1622
01:05:44,141 --> 01:05:45,140
Oh, it's I'm numb.

1623
01:05:45,142 --> 01:05:46,574
I feel very strange.

1624
01:05:46,576 --> 01:05:48,543
I'm comfortable
with my sexuality

1625
01:05:48,545 --> 01:05:50,045
until this very second.

1626
01:05:50,047 --> 01:05:51,146
I-- I love you.

1627
01:05:51,148 --> 01:05:52,280
Oh.
How dare you.

1628
01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:54,082
Fuck you!

1629
01:05:54,084 --> 01:05:56,084
You beautiful son of a bitch!

1630
01:05:56,086 --> 01:05:57,585
Fuck you.

1631
01:05:57,587 --> 01:05:59,104
Fuck this.

1632
01:05:59,105 --> 01:06:00,622
(Arnold takes a deep breath)

1633
01:06:03,593 --> 01:06:06,027
Fuck!
I'll kill that son of a bitch.

1634
01:06:06,029 --> 01:06:08,563
(Taking deep breaths)

1635
01:06:08,565 --> 01:06:09,731
(Indistinct speech)

1636
01:06:09,733 --> 01:06:10,699
(Taking deep breaths)

1637
01:06:10,701 --> 01:06:13,735
Oh, fuck you.

1638
01:06:13,737 --> 01:06:15,670
Oh, pick up, you cunt.

1639
01:06:15,671 --> 01:06:17,604
Judge Marsh, it's been a while.

1640
01:06:17,607 --> 01:06:19,708
I'm afraid not so good, sir.

1641
01:06:19,710 --> 01:06:22,110
Yeah, I'm gonna need
to call in that Mexico favor.

1642
01:06:22,112 --> 01:06:25,180
The system's failed me
and justice needs to be served.

1643
01:06:30,287 --> 01:06:32,687
I've already told you
I didn't send any gangsters

1644
01:06:32,689 --> 01:06:33,989
to kill that geezer.

1645
01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:35,690
I don't even know any gangsters.

1646
01:06:35,692 --> 01:06:37,359
Did I ever tell you
I was English?

1647
01:06:37,361 --> 01:06:38,810
What?

1648
01:06:38,811 --> 01:06:40,260
Yeah, actually I was born
in England.

1649
01:06:40,263 --> 01:06:42,030
My grandma was from Essex.

1650
01:06:42,032 --> 01:06:44,065
I pledge my allegiance
to the Queen.

1651
01:06:44,067 --> 01:06:45,767
It's a known fact
that I might even be related

1652
01:06:45,769 --> 01:06:49,070
to the bloodline
of Sherlock Holmes himself.

1653
01:06:49,072 --> 01:06:50,638
The fictional character?

1654
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,674
Did you know that Mewes
saw Anthony Costalino

1655
01:06:52,676 --> 01:06:55,410
on the day that he was murdered?

1656
01:06:55,412 --> 01:06:57,312
He fucking what?

1657
01:06:57,314 --> 01:06:59,647
He was in a casting
which didn't go too well.

1658
01:06:59,649 --> 01:07:01,433
(Chuckling)

1659
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:03,218
I don't know, I mean um,
call me crazy,

1660
01:07:03,220 --> 01:07:05,253
but that's sort of
a big coincidence

1661
01:07:05,254 --> 01:07:07,287
and I thought he failed
to mention to any of us.

1662
01:07:07,290 --> 01:07:08,289
(Chuckling)

1663
01:07:08,291 --> 01:07:11,159
Don't you?

1664
01:07:11,161 --> 01:07:13,779
Yeah.

1665
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:16,398
Are you ready for some good news
finally, Mr. Jones?

1666
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:17,432
Go on.

1667
01:07:17,434 --> 01:07:19,301
I've talked to the powers

1668
01:07:19,302 --> 01:07:21,169
that be a judge that
I'm quite good friends with.

1669
01:07:21,171 --> 01:07:22,704
We had a weekend in Cabo once,

1670
01:07:22,706 --> 01:07:25,006
but that's neither here
nor there.

1671
01:07:25,007 --> 01:07:27,307
He's decided that we don't have
enough evidence to keep you here

1672
01:07:27,310 --> 01:07:29,310
and we're gonna let you out
on bail.

1673
01:07:29,312 --> 01:07:31,346
Behave yourself now and--

1674
01:07:31,348 --> 01:07:33,048
Adhere to those bail conditions.

1675
01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:34,215
How do they say it in England?

1676
01:07:34,217 --> 01:07:36,084
Uh, cheerio.

1677
01:07:36,086 --> 01:07:37,285
(Laughing)

1678
01:07:39,423 --> 01:07:51,232
(♪♪♪)

1679
01:07:51,234 --> 01:07:52,367
♪ Hit it ♪

1680
01:07:55,205 --> 01:07:56,337
♪ I got ♪

1681
01:07:59,209 --> 01:08:01,242
♪ Hit it ♪

1682
01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:03,478
♪ I got just one thing
to turn away ♪

1683
01:08:07,184 --> 01:08:09,250
♪ Hit it ♪

1684
01:08:11,121 --> 01:08:12,120
♪ I got ♪

1685
01:08:12,122 --> 01:08:13,121
♪ I got ♪

1686
01:08:13,123 --> 01:08:14,355
♪ I got ♪

1687
01:08:18,328 --> 01:08:21,563
What the fuck?

1688
01:08:21,565 --> 01:08:24,299
What the fuck?
This is bullshit.

1689
01:08:31,374 --> 01:08:34,309
Hello?

1690
01:08:34,311 --> 01:08:35,510
Excuse me?

1691
01:08:35,512 --> 01:08:43,485
(♪♪♪)

1692
01:08:43,487 --> 01:08:44,853
Want more, son?

1693
01:08:44,855 --> 01:08:46,788
(Grunts)

1694
01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:48,256
Let me explain, Vin,
come on, dude, bro!

1695
01:08:48,258 --> 01:08:50,408
(Jay grunting)

1696
01:08:50,409 --> 01:08:52,559
I cannot believe you were gonna
let me rot in that cell.

1697
01:08:52,562 --> 01:08:54,395
JAY:
Look, dude, let me explain, Vin.

1698
01:08:54,397 --> 01:08:55,964
What--

1699
01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:57,532
Some kind of mate you are, Jay.

1700
01:08:57,534 --> 01:08:58,600
Jay is dead.

1701
01:08:58,602 --> 01:09:00,368
Things have changed.

1702
01:09:03,140 --> 01:09:05,907
(Grunting and yelling)

1703
01:09:05,909 --> 01:09:17,452
(♪♪♪)

1704
01:09:17,454 --> 01:09:19,521
Oh, motherfucker.

1705
01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:21,923
(Grunting)

1706
01:09:21,925 --> 01:09:23,358
Really?

1707
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:24,392
(Grunting)

1708
01:09:24,394 --> 01:09:25,527
Oh, Vinnie, please.

1709
01:09:25,529 --> 01:09:26,928
Please, please, buddy!

1710
01:09:26,930 --> 01:09:28,296
(Yelling)

1711
01:09:29,533 --> 01:09:31,041
(Jay grunting)

1712
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,550
- Shit, shit.
- (Vinnie grunting)

1713
01:09:32,551 --> 01:09:34,059
JAY: Shit, Vinnie,
I'm-- It was sh--

1714
01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:35,568
It was a misunderstanding, bro!

1715
01:09:35,572 --> 01:09:37,172
(Yelling)

1716
01:09:37,174 --> 01:09:38,273
JAY:
Bro!

1717
01:09:40,443 --> 01:09:42,710
(Grunting)

1718
01:09:42,712 --> 01:09:44,479
Snoogans, you muppet!

1719
01:09:49,886 --> 01:09:51,319
Vin, you okay?

1720
01:09:59,529 --> 01:10:00,662
♪ Hit it ♪

1721
01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:04,599
♪ I got ♪

1722
01:10:17,514 --> 01:10:18,846
Jay?

1723
01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:23,318
Jay, is that you?

1724
01:10:25,288 --> 01:10:26,554
Jason?

1725
01:10:33,530 --> 01:10:35,630
What the hell?

1726
01:10:38,301 --> 01:10:40,001
Honey?

1727
01:10:40,003 --> 01:10:42,704
What the fuck are you doing?

1728
01:10:42,706 --> 01:10:44,005
Fixing the roof.

1729
01:10:44,007 --> 01:10:45,740
In the middle of the night?

1730
01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:47,474
What, do you want me
to dress up as Jay

1731
01:10:47,477 --> 01:10:48,810
and not fix the roof?

1732
01:10:48,812 --> 01:10:50,511
Okay, baby, come down.

1733
01:10:50,513 --> 01:10:52,547
You're really, really starting
to scare me now.

1734
01:10:52,549 --> 01:10:54,482
I am Jason.

1735
01:10:54,484 --> 01:10:57,252
Jason Mewes!

1736
01:10:57,254 --> 01:11:00,622
You can sleep on the couch
tonight, Jason fucking Mewes.

1737
01:11:04,394 --> 01:11:05,360
ANTHONY:
What the fuck?

1738
01:11:05,362 --> 01:11:07,395
Yes, Jason.

1739
01:11:07,397 --> 01:11:08,630
THE WITNESS:
You're trying to kill me.

1740
01:11:08,632 --> 01:11:11,266
Hey, what are you doing?

1741
01:11:11,268 --> 01:11:13,801
VINNIE: You were gonna
let me rot in that cell.

1742
01:11:13,803 --> 01:11:17,605
CARRIE: And what happens
when Jason is very bad?

1743
01:11:18,575 --> 01:11:19,941
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
I'm com--

1744
01:11:19,942 --> 01:11:21,308
I'm coming for you,
son of a bitch.

1745
01:11:21,311 --> 01:11:22,410
I'm--

1746
01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:27,815
And...

1747
01:11:31,588 --> 01:11:32,854
Action.

1748
01:11:32,856 --> 01:11:36,791
♪ Starts another big riot ♪

1749
01:11:44,567 --> 01:11:45,733
♪ Zing ♪

1750
01:11:45,735 --> 01:11:47,835
♪ So what's the use ♪

1751
01:11:47,837 --> 01:11:49,537
♪ Wow, bam ♪

1752
01:11:49,539 --> 01:11:52,740
♪ Of falling in love ♪

1753
01:11:52,742 --> 01:11:54,025
♪ The sky caves in ♪

1754
01:11:54,026 --> 01:11:55,309
♪ The devil cuts loose ♪

1755
01:11:55,312 --> 01:11:56,844
♪ You blow, blow, blow ♪

1756
01:11:56,846 --> 01:11:58,513
♪ Blow your fuse ♪

1757
01:11:58,515 --> 01:11:59,514
(Screaming)

1758
01:11:59,516 --> 01:12:00,649
Die, Snoogans boy!

1759
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:01,783
- (Screaming)
- Pow!

1760
01:12:01,785 --> 01:12:03,685
JAY:
Holy!

1761
01:12:03,687 --> 01:12:05,887
♪ When you fall in love ♪

1762
01:12:05,889 --> 01:12:17,799
(♪♪♪)

1763
01:12:17,801 --> 01:12:19,167
♪ Oh ♪

1764
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:20,534
♪ Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay ♪

1765
01:12:20,537 --> 01:12:21,969
♪ Jason fucking Mewes ♪

1766
01:12:21,971 --> 01:12:22,970
♪ Mewes, Mewes ♪

1767
01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:24,105
♪ Jason fucking ♪

1768
01:12:24,106 --> 01:12:25,239
- ♪ Jason ♪
- ♪ Mewes ♪

1769
01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:26,373
♪ Oh ♪

1770
01:12:26,376 --> 01:12:31,646
(♪♪♪)

1771
01:12:31,648 --> 01:12:32,764
♪ Jason Mewes ♪

1772
01:12:32,765 --> 01:12:33,881
♪ Jason fucking, fucking,
fucking ♪

1773
01:12:33,883 --> 01:12:34,982
♪ Mewes ♪

1774
01:12:40,824 --> 01:12:43,558
Mr. Jones failed to return
to the halfway house last night,

1775
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:45,793
a strict condition
of his controversial bail.

1776
01:12:45,795 --> 01:12:47,829
Early theories coming out
of the LAPD

1777
01:12:47,831 --> 01:12:50,498
are that Mr. Jones used
his British gangland connections

1778
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,600
to smuggle him out
of the country.

1779
01:12:52,602 --> 01:12:54,736
Attention now turns
to the lead detective

1780
01:12:54,738 --> 01:12:56,904
in the case
as it was Detective Arnold

1781
01:12:56,906 --> 01:12:58,940
who supported Jones's bail.

1782
01:12:58,942 --> 01:13:03,444
#Bail, #fail, #bailfail.

1783
01:13:03,446 --> 01:13:04,946
Wonder what took him so long.

1784
01:13:04,948 --> 01:13:06,748
Are you expecting someone?

1785
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:09,951
Don't worry about it.

1786
01:13:09,953 --> 01:13:12,053
(Splurts)

1787
01:13:12,055 --> 01:13:14,655
(Grunts)

1788
01:13:14,657 --> 01:13:18,092
Hmm.

1789
01:13:18,094 --> 01:13:20,928
Little early
to be drinking there, officer.

1790
01:13:20,930 --> 01:13:22,964
It's detective.

1791
01:13:22,965 --> 01:13:24,999
First step to recovery
is admitting you have a problem.

1792
01:13:25,001 --> 01:13:26,834
I know you did it, motherfucker.

1793
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:28,703
You're lucky
you're hiding behind that badge

1794
01:13:28,705 --> 01:13:32,874
or I might have
to bitch slap you, officer.

1795
01:13:32,876 --> 01:13:33,941
(Grunting)

1796
01:13:33,943 --> 01:13:35,276
Think you're tough, huh?

1797
01:13:35,277 --> 01:13:36,610
- Not so tough--
- (Grunting)

1798
01:13:36,611 --> 01:13:37,944
Now are you, motherfucker?

1799
01:13:37,945 --> 01:13:39,278
You don't think I'll do it.

1800
01:13:39,279 --> 01:13:40,612
You don't think
I'll pull the fucking trigger.

1801
01:13:40,617 --> 01:13:41,883
I'm twice the actor
you'll ever be.

1802
01:13:41,885 --> 01:13:43,284
I'm English.

1803
01:13:43,285 --> 01:13:44,684
I invented fucking acting,
you know.

1804
01:13:44,687 --> 01:13:46,404
I should have
your goddamn career

1805
01:13:46,405 --> 01:13:48,122
and you should be in jail
getting your asshole licked

1806
01:13:48,124 --> 01:13:50,925
by a fat man in a jumpsuit.

1807
01:13:50,927 --> 01:13:54,162
It's not the last you've heard
of me, Mewes.

1808
01:13:54,164 --> 01:13:55,863
Fucker!

1809
01:13:57,133 --> 01:13:59,100
(Sniffles and spits)

1810
01:13:59,102 --> 01:14:00,601
DETECTIVE ARNOLD:
Son of a bitch.

1811
01:14:00,603 --> 01:14:02,937
(Engine starts)

1812
01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:05,440
(Engine revvs)

1813
01:14:09,979 --> 01:14:11,145
What the hell was that?

1814
01:14:11,147 --> 01:14:13,047
Some guy selling insurance.

1815
01:14:13,049 --> 01:14:14,649
I heard yelling.

1816
01:14:14,651 --> 01:14:16,851
Uh, it's just insurances.

1817
01:14:16,853 --> 01:14:18,052
Right.

1818
01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:22,089
NEWS ANCHOR: The LAPD have
launched an official manhunt

1819
01:14:22,091 --> 01:14:25,860
for British soccer star
turned movie star Vinnie Jones.

1820
01:14:25,862 --> 01:14:27,362
He is wanted on suspicion

1821
01:14:27,363 --> 01:14:28,863
of the murder
of Anthony Costalino

1822
01:14:28,865 --> 01:14:30,865
and for ordering gang members
to put a hit

1823
01:14:30,867 --> 01:14:34,035
on the only known-witness
to the Costalino murder.

1824
01:14:34,037 --> 01:14:35,870
Police have found no trace
of Jones

1825
01:14:35,872 --> 01:14:38,873
but they have found
his rental car abandoned.

1826
01:14:38,875 --> 01:14:40,641
(Phone ringing)

1827
01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:41,976
(Geena grunts)

1828
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:44,612
Jason, who loves you, baby?

1829
01:14:44,614 --> 01:14:45,813
Yo, what's up, Geena?

1830
01:14:45,815 --> 01:14:47,114
Geena nailed it.

1831
01:14:47,116 --> 01:14:49,016
Autograph shows,
some geeky bullshit,

1832
01:14:49,018 --> 01:14:50,017
event's sold out.

1833
01:14:50,019 --> 01:14:52,787
(Grunting)

1834
01:14:52,789 --> 01:14:54,755
Tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp.

1835
01:14:54,757 --> 01:14:56,958
They'll give you your cut,
cash in hand.

1836
01:14:56,960 --> 01:14:58,359
Boom.
Ooh!

1837
01:14:58,360 --> 01:14:59,759
- Sorry, I can't make it.
- What?

1838
01:14:59,762 --> 01:15:00,895
But-- but you said--

1839
01:15:00,897 --> 01:15:02,814
Forget what I said, alright?

1840
01:15:02,815 --> 01:15:04,732
And get me a studio casting
already.

1841
01:15:04,734 --> 01:15:05,733
GEENA: (On the phone)
<i>Jason</i>!

1842
01:15:05,735 --> 01:15:07,902
(Sighing)

1843
01:15:07,904 --> 01:15:10,671
I have gotta
fuck this guy's brains out.

1844
01:15:10,673 --> 01:15:13,207
He is untameable.

1845
01:15:13,209 --> 01:15:15,510
(Grunting)

1846
01:15:19,215 --> 01:15:20,781
Psst!

1847
01:15:21,951 --> 01:15:23,885
You always dress like that, bro?

1848
01:15:30,260 --> 01:15:32,059
A word to the wise

1849
01:15:32,061 --> 01:15:34,829
about your friend
Brian O'Halloran.

1850
01:15:34,831 --> 01:15:37,298
Seems he's not as good a friend
as you thought he was.

1851
01:15:37,300 --> 01:15:39,233
Wait,
you know about Carrie and Brian?

1852
01:15:39,235 --> 01:15:40,768
- What?
- You just said--

1853
01:15:40,770 --> 01:15:42,303
- I know but Carrie?
- Exactly!

1854
01:15:42,305 --> 01:15:44,038
- No!
- Huh?

1855
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,806
Brian tried to fuck you.

1856
01:15:45,808 --> 01:15:47,058
Carrie?

1857
01:15:47,059 --> 01:15:48,309
- Brian fucked Carrie?
- Brian fucked me?

1858
01:15:48,311 --> 01:15:49,544
No!

1859
01:15:49,546 --> 01:15:50,745
Wait, what?

1860
01:15:50,747 --> 01:15:52,764
How did Brian fuck me?

1861
01:15:52,765 --> 01:15:54,782
I have it on very good authority
that the studio saw

1862
01:15:54,784 --> 01:15:56,784
early footage
of<i> Acupuncture Killer</i>

1863
01:15:56,785 --> 01:15:58,785
and they love you
for the<i> Odyssey</i> lead,

1864
01:15:58,788 --> 01:16:01,923
especially hand-in-hand
with Brian's own story,

1865
01:16:01,925 --> 01:16:04,825
some publicity-perfect storm
kind of deal.

1866
01:16:04,827 --> 01:16:07,044
This can't be true.

1867
01:16:07,045 --> 01:16:09,262
Brian didn't think
that you could handle the role.

1868
01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:11,098
He went out of his way
to make sure

1869
01:16:11,100 --> 01:16:13,167
you did not get the offer.

1870
01:16:13,169 --> 01:16:14,602
Dude, I gotta go.

1871
01:16:14,604 --> 01:16:22,710
(♪♪♪)

1872
01:16:43,633 --> 01:16:44,732
♪ Hit it ♪

1873
01:16:47,337 --> 01:16:48,869
♪ I got ♪

1874
01:16:48,871 --> 01:16:54,141
(♪♪♪)

1875
01:16:54,143 --> 01:16:56,077
BRIAN'S DATE: I never
understood how an actress

1876
01:16:56,079 --> 01:16:59,046
can be expected
to show vulnerabilities,

1877
01:16:59,048 --> 01:17:03,217
show her true self,
really reveal herself

1878
01:17:03,219 --> 01:17:04,619
if she doesn't trust--

1879
01:17:05,622 --> 01:17:06,954
Oh, Brian!

1880
01:17:06,956 --> 01:17:08,255
Oh my goodness, bro.

1881
01:17:08,257 --> 01:17:09,957
Jay, hey, man.

1882
01:17:09,958 --> 01:17:11,658
Dude,
I can't believe I ran into you.

1883
01:17:11,659 --> 01:17:13,359
I was walking around outside
and it's whoa!

1884
01:17:13,363 --> 01:17:14,629
Isn't that your car, Jay?

1885
01:17:14,631 --> 01:17:15,663
No, it's not my car.

1886
01:17:18,301 --> 01:17:20,935
Dude, it's got your name
on the license plate.

1887
01:17:20,937 --> 01:17:23,371
<i>The Odyssey</i>.

1888
01:17:23,373 --> 01:17:24,672
Oh, yeah.

1889
01:17:24,674 --> 01:17:26,140
Um, Jay, about that--

1890
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:27,375
Brian got me the role,
I knew it.

1891
01:17:27,377 --> 01:17:30,044
Actually,
I called the studio, Jay,

1892
01:17:30,046 --> 01:17:32,246
and I fought for you,
I really did, man,

1893
01:17:32,248 --> 01:17:34,682
but they're going
in a different direction.

1894
01:17:34,684 --> 01:17:37,952
The Brian I know would say,
"Mewes gets the lead part."

1895
01:17:37,954 --> 01:17:39,320
Jay, I did everything I could.

1896
01:17:39,322 --> 01:17:41,322
It's fucking bullshit, bro.

1897
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:43,424
Oh, we should get going.

1898
01:17:43,426 --> 01:17:45,660
Let me give you
a little piece of advice, Jason.

1899
01:17:45,662 --> 01:17:46,911
Did you ever hear
of a hockey player

1900
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,161
by the name of Sam Lennox?

1901
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:50,698
Fucking don't do this,
please, bro!

1902
01:17:50,700 --> 01:17:52,667
Jay, you alright?

1903
01:17:52,669 --> 01:17:54,969
Do you need to like call someone
or talk it out or--

1904
01:17:54,971 --> 01:17:56,487
Or maybe I should--

1905
01:17:56,488 --> 01:17:58,004
Or maybe you should stand up
for your fucking friend, man,

1906
01:17:58,007 --> 01:17:59,206
please.

1907
01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:00,708
I'll see around.

1908
01:18:00,710 --> 01:18:10,818
(♪♪♪)

1909
01:18:23,032 --> 01:18:24,765
(Taking a deep breath)

1910
01:18:24,767 --> 01:18:26,200
Dude, did you know?

1911
01:18:26,202 --> 01:18:27,652
What?

1912
01:18:27,653 --> 01:18:29,103
That Brian didn't want me
in<i> The Odyssey</i>!

1913
01:18:29,105 --> 01:18:30,104
Who told you this?

1914
01:18:30,106 --> 01:18:31,606
Don't lie to me!

1915
01:18:31,607 --> 01:18:33,107
I'm not fucking lying,
I'm just asking.

1916
01:18:33,109 --> 01:18:35,109
And you know what?

1917
01:18:35,110 --> 01:18:37,110
Lately, you're really out
of fucking pocket, man,

1918
01:18:37,111 --> 01:18:39,111
forgetting the relationship
and shit like that.

1919
01:18:39,115 --> 01:18:41,148
Oh, that's fucked up,
you didn't tell me, alright?

1920
01:18:41,150 --> 01:18:42,850
Brian stabbing me in the back
is one thing, but you?

1921
01:18:42,852 --> 01:18:44,802
Come on!

1922
01:18:44,803 --> 01:18:46,753
I didn't fucking stab you
in the back, motherfucker.

1923
01:18:46,756 --> 01:18:48,255
Like did it ever occur to you

1924
01:18:48,257 --> 01:18:50,391
maybe I was looking out
for your best interests?

1925
01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:52,460
Oh, how exactly?

1926
01:18:52,462 --> 01:18:53,394
Fine.
You know what?

1927
01:18:53,396 --> 01:18:54,762
Fuck.

1928
01:18:54,764 --> 01:18:56,197
I love you to death, okay?

1929
01:18:56,199 --> 01:18:58,299
You're like my best friend
in the world,

1930
01:18:58,300 --> 01:19:00,400
but like you are
not a leading man.

1931
01:19:00,403 --> 01:19:02,086
And Brian's gonna make a movie

1932
01:19:02,087 --> 01:19:03,770
the whole fucking world's
gonna see.

1933
01:19:03,773 --> 01:19:06,841
And if you fail on that stage,
man, that's huge.

1934
01:19:06,843 --> 01:19:08,476
And it's tough
to get out from under that

1935
01:19:08,478 --> 01:19:10,445
and it fucking hurts.

1936
01:19:10,446 --> 01:19:12,413
When you carry a flop,
you turn to fucking shit.

1937
01:19:12,415 --> 01:19:13,514
I-- I became a stoner.

1938
01:19:13,516 --> 01:19:15,071
Do you ever wonder why?

1939
01:19:15,072 --> 01:19:16,627
<i>Zack and Miri Make a Porno.</i>

1940
01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:18,183
You start turning to substances,
okay?

1941
01:19:18,187 --> 01:19:20,098
That's me saying it.

1942
01:19:20,099 --> 01:19:22,010
People are still
fucking making fun of<i> Tusk</i>,

1943
01:19:22,011 --> 01:19:23,922
and fucking<i> Mallrats</i>,
and shit like that.

1944
01:19:23,926 --> 01:19:25,860
And my big fucking fear is
the movie flops

1945
01:19:25,862 --> 01:19:27,362
and you're sitting around

1946
01:19:27,363 --> 01:19:28,863
wanting
to fucking dampen the pain,

1947
01:19:28,865 --> 01:19:30,197
then maybe you fucking...

1948
01:19:30,199 --> 01:19:31,465
Come on, you can say it, bro.

1949
01:19:31,467 --> 01:19:33,100
(Sighs)

1950
01:19:33,101 --> 01:19:34,734
We don't really wanna do this,
dude.

1951
01:19:34,735 --> 01:19:36,368
Like let's just--
let me enjoy my joint.

1952
01:19:36,372 --> 01:19:38,906
Just say it, bro,
come on, fucking say it!

1953
01:19:38,908 --> 01:19:41,308
Maybe you start fucking
using again, alright?

1954
01:19:41,310 --> 01:19:43,177
Maybe you fucking wind up
with a goddamn 12-gauge

1955
01:19:43,179 --> 01:19:45,046
in your arm.

1956
01:19:45,047 --> 01:19:46,914
Maybe I gotta fucking take you
to nine more fucking rehabs,

1957
01:19:46,916 --> 01:19:48,883
watch you run out
of another one,

1958
01:19:48,884 --> 01:19:50,851
and fucking I gotta
be your goddamn human parachute,

1959
01:19:50,853 --> 01:19:52,820
save you
from the fucking rock bottom

1960
01:19:52,822 --> 01:19:54,555
that you're always trying
to drag

1961
01:19:54,556 --> 01:19:56,289
both of us fucking down to, man.

1962
01:19:56,292 --> 01:19:57,792
I'm sorry, not for nothing,

1963
01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:59,293
but I go through
that shit again, dude.

1964
01:19:59,295 --> 01:20:00,828
I got a kid of my own!

1965
01:20:00,830 --> 01:20:02,229
You're fucking great
in my movies.

1966
01:20:02,231 --> 01:20:04,048
Don't get me wrong.

1967
01:20:04,049 --> 01:20:05,866
You're born to play Jay,
but fuck, dude,

1968
01:20:05,868 --> 01:20:09,036
that's a big fucking job
and you're not that actor.

1969
01:20:09,038 --> 01:20:11,338
So stop fucking hounding people
about it.

1970
01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:15,810
Or maybe it doesn't flop,
and it fucking skyrockets,

1971
01:20:15,812 --> 01:20:18,012
and I'm born
to play the fucking<i> Odyssey</i>.

1972
01:20:18,014 --> 01:20:21,348
I nail it,
my career surpasses yours,

1973
01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:23,384
and I'm not
in your fucking pocket

1974
01:20:23,386 --> 01:20:25,486
- to pull out when you want.
- Yeah.

1975
01:20:25,488 --> 01:20:27,471
And then you put me
in your movie

1976
01:20:27,472 --> 01:20:29,455
and my shit kills it,
and for the first time ever

1977
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:31,358
in the history
of Kevin Smith movies,

1978
01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:34,428
the movie makes money!

1979
01:20:34,430 --> 01:20:36,597
How about that shit?

1980
01:20:36,599 --> 01:20:39,900
Okay, I'm-- like this is
so not the fucking time

1981
01:20:39,902 --> 01:20:40,935
to even do this.

1982
01:20:40,937 --> 01:20:42,970
Like...

1983
01:20:42,972 --> 01:20:45,306
I don't know if you noticed,

1984
01:20:45,308 --> 01:20:49,109
but I'm about to go
to a fucking comedy show!

1985
01:20:49,111 --> 01:20:51,695
So you know what, dude,

1986
01:20:51,696 --> 01:20:54,280
if that's really the way
you feel about shit,

1987
01:20:54,283 --> 01:20:55,282
Like fuck off.

1988
01:20:55,284 --> 01:20:57,151
Go fuck yourself.

1989
01:20:57,152 --> 01:20:59,019
You know what?
Go step on that.

1990
01:20:59,020 --> 01:21:00,887
Silent Bob wants Jay to go step
on that fucking joint.

1991
01:21:00,890 --> 01:21:13,467
(♪♪♪)

1992
01:21:22,144 --> 01:21:31,418
(♪♪♪)

1993
01:21:31,420 --> 01:21:32,920
Ferny, man.

1994
01:21:32,922 --> 01:21:35,556
I gotta fire
that security idiot.

1995
01:21:35,558 --> 01:21:37,558
Kevin and O'Halloran
are fucking working together,

1996
01:21:37,560 --> 01:21:39,493
- dude, to destroy me.
- What?

1997
01:21:39,495 --> 01:21:40,995
Dude, they're trying
to sabotage my career.

1998
01:21:40,997 --> 01:21:42,096
Jason, relax, man.

1999
01:21:42,098 --> 01:21:43,564
What's going on?

2000
01:21:43,566 --> 01:21:45,065
I messed up, dude.

2001
01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:47,568
I read the whole book.

2002
01:21:47,570 --> 01:21:49,570
Oh, shit!

2003
01:21:49,572 --> 01:21:51,538
I followed it step-by-step

2004
01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:53,173
and it cleared my thoughts,
dude,

2005
01:21:53,175 --> 01:21:54,942
and at first I thought
I could handle it,

2006
01:21:54,944 --> 01:21:57,111
but then with Kevin and--
and then I-- I feel

2007
01:21:57,113 --> 01:21:58,479
like I'm losing my fucking mind,
man.

2008
01:21:58,481 --> 01:21:59,480
Breathe, Jason.

2009
01:21:59,482 --> 01:22:00,915
I'm going crazy.

2010
01:22:00,917 --> 01:22:03,183
No, you are evolving.

2011
01:22:03,185 --> 01:22:05,619
You're seeing the world
from a different plane!

2012
01:22:05,621 --> 01:22:08,589
The book does that to you, man.

2013
01:22:08,591 --> 01:22:10,224
I've been there.

2014
01:22:10,226 --> 01:22:11,558
What-- what do you mean?

2015
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:14,011
Jason, I, too, was an actor,

2016
01:22:14,012 --> 01:22:16,463
hugely popular
in my home country.

2017
01:22:16,465 --> 01:22:20,000
But I was cursed.

2018
01:22:20,001 --> 01:22:23,536
Everybody I meet falls
hopelessly in love with me.

2019
01:22:23,539 --> 01:22:26,974
And believe me, Jason,
it is a curse.

2020
01:22:26,976 --> 01:22:29,076
So just like you,
I decided to change,

2021
01:22:29,078 --> 01:22:31,128
beat the curse.

2022
01:22:31,129 --> 01:22:33,179
So I came to America to act,
to play the bad guy,

2023
01:22:33,182 --> 01:22:34,982
the gangster and--

2024
01:22:34,984 --> 01:22:37,718
and one day I met
with a director late at night,

2025
01:22:37,720 --> 01:22:41,989
and he of course, was hopelessly
in love with me,

2026
01:22:41,991 --> 01:22:43,958
and I had a plan.

2027
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:45,059
Okay.

2028
01:22:50,633 --> 01:22:53,367
(Taking deep breaths)

2029
01:23:07,083 --> 01:23:09,550
(Takes a deep breath)

2030
01:23:09,552 --> 01:23:11,685
How do you think
I met the chief?

2031
01:23:11,687 --> 01:23:14,054
She arrested you?

2032
01:23:14,056 --> 01:23:17,091
For the first time in my life
I was in love,

2033
01:23:17,093 --> 01:23:19,093
deeply in love.

2034
01:23:19,095 --> 01:23:23,397
She massaged the charges
and made them disappear.

2035
01:23:23,399 --> 01:23:27,134
For her, I quit acting
and went into hiding

2036
01:23:27,136 --> 01:23:28,669
from all who loved me.

2037
01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:30,571
And I don't regret it
for one second,

2038
01:23:30,573 --> 01:23:33,007
because it was time
to give up the book,

2039
01:23:33,009 --> 01:23:35,309
but only to the right person.

2040
01:23:35,311 --> 01:23:37,011
Uh, I can't think straight.

2041
01:23:37,013 --> 01:23:38,212
Right, well, Kevin,
he betrayed me,

2042
01:23:38,214 --> 01:23:39,313
he broke my heart, dude.

2043
01:23:39,315 --> 01:23:41,048
And then O'Halloran and Carrie--

2044
01:23:41,050 --> 01:23:42,783
Jason,
as long as there is Silent Bob,

2045
01:23:42,785 --> 01:23:45,219
there will always be Jay.

2046
01:23:45,221 --> 01:23:50,024
Anything and anyone in the way
of turning Jay into Jason

2047
01:23:50,026 --> 01:23:52,527
must be dealt with.

2048
01:23:52,528 --> 01:23:55,029
This is why I chose
to give you the book.

2049
01:23:55,031 --> 01:23:57,431
You are right.

2050
01:23:57,433 --> 01:23:58,699
Thanks, man.

2051
01:23:58,701 --> 01:24:01,301
Oh, and, Jason!

2052
01:24:01,303 --> 01:24:03,437
I have a feeling
this might come in useful.

2053
01:24:06,442 --> 01:24:10,044
You're a dangerous man,
Fernando.

2054
01:24:12,448 --> 01:24:22,523
(♪♪♪)

2055
01:24:34,203 --> 01:24:44,244
(♪♪♪)

2056
01:24:53,389 --> 01:24:56,356
(Car revvs)

2057
01:24:59,361 --> 01:25:01,328
(Crickets chirping)

2058
01:25:01,330 --> 01:25:03,330
(Car revving)

2059
01:25:03,332 --> 01:25:13,373
(♪♪♪)

2060
01:25:19,115 --> 01:25:21,115
(Grunting)

2061
01:25:21,117 --> 01:25:27,321
(♪♪♪)

2062
01:25:27,323 --> 01:25:29,256
There you are.

2063
01:25:29,257 --> 01:25:31,190
I'm not even supposed
to be here today.

2064
01:25:31,193 --> 01:25:32,526
Not even supposed
to be here today.

2065
01:25:32,528 --> 01:25:34,294
That's right, motherfucker.

2066
01:25:34,296 --> 01:25:35,529
Carried that movie.

2067
01:25:35,531 --> 01:25:46,807
(♪♪♪)

2068
01:25:46,809 --> 01:25:48,308
Oh, I gotta see this again.

2069
01:25:51,614 --> 01:25:53,547
BRIAN: (On the TV) I'm not
even supposed to be here today.

2070
01:25:53,549 --> 01:25:55,415
(Laughing)

2071
01:25:55,417 --> 01:25:57,417
Every fucking time,
it kills me, man.

2072
01:25:57,419 --> 01:26:07,494
(♪♪♪)

2073
01:26:14,270 --> 01:26:15,569
CARRIE:
You want what?

2074
01:26:15,571 --> 01:26:16,603
A blowie.

2075
01:26:16,605 --> 01:26:18,338
Not a big deal.

2076
01:26:18,340 --> 01:26:19,907
It won't last long.

2077
01:26:19,908 --> 01:26:21,475
You can forget about it,
you little shit.

2078
01:26:21,477 --> 01:26:23,310
Oh, you've already showed me
your titties.

2079
01:26:23,312 --> 01:26:26,247
For my fiancé.

2080
01:26:26,248 --> 01:26:29,183
He wants that comic book so bad
he'd probably blow you himself.

2081
01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:32,486
Also, it's not the full titty
unless you see the nip.

2082
01:26:34,657 --> 01:26:36,723
BRIAN: (On the TV) I'm not
even supposed to be here today.

2083
01:26:36,725 --> 01:26:39,593
(Laughing)

2084
01:26:39,595 --> 01:26:42,196
Oh, man.

2085
01:26:42,198 --> 01:26:44,398
(Lights turns off)

2086
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:46,767
What the fuck?

2087
01:26:53,742 --> 01:26:55,609
BRIAN:
What is going on?

2088
01:26:57,479 --> 01:26:59,213
It's not raining.

2089
01:27:05,354 --> 01:27:07,454
Fucking sake.

2090
01:27:07,456 --> 01:27:09,423
Stupid mirror.

2091
01:27:14,730 --> 01:27:17,264
Jesus!

2092
01:27:17,266 --> 01:27:18,632
Jesus?

2093
01:27:18,634 --> 01:27:20,000
Who let you in?

2094
01:27:20,002 --> 01:27:21,368
Come on.

2095
01:27:21,370 --> 01:27:22,302
Come on, Jesus.
Look out.

2096
01:27:22,304 --> 01:27:23,537
Good boy.

2097
01:27:28,244 --> 01:27:29,710
Fuck is going on?

2098
01:27:29,712 --> 01:27:39,786
(♪♪♪)

2099
01:27:50,866 --> 01:27:52,599
Got you, mother--

2100
01:27:52,601 --> 01:27:54,501
Jay?

2101
01:27:54,503 --> 01:27:55,769
What are you doing here?

2102
01:27:57,473 --> 01:27:58,772
(Screaming)

2103
01:27:58,774 --> 01:28:00,507
What the fuck, Jay?

2104
01:28:00,509 --> 01:28:01,875
Ow!

2105
01:28:01,877 --> 01:28:03,577
Oh, man, you son of a--

2106
01:28:06,615 --> 01:28:10,517
(Grunting)

2107
01:28:10,519 --> 01:28:11,969
Okay, okay.

2108
01:28:11,970 --> 01:28:13,420
Show me the full titty
and we have a deal.

2109
01:28:13,422 --> 01:28:14,855
Go back inside and jerk off.

2110
01:28:14,857 --> 01:28:15,922
(Sighing)

2111
01:28:15,924 --> 01:28:17,557
(Brian O'Halloran yelling)

2112
01:28:19,361 --> 01:28:20,694
Oh God!

2113
01:28:20,696 --> 01:28:21,728
Yeah.

2114
01:28:21,730 --> 01:28:23,664
(Grunting)

2115
01:28:28,604 --> 01:28:30,437
- (Yelling)
- BRIAN: Oh!

2116
01:28:30,439 --> 01:28:32,939
You like
the fucking Golden Rocket?

2117
01:28:32,941 --> 01:28:34,775
(Yelling)

2118
01:28:34,777 --> 01:28:36,877
(Grunting)

2119
01:28:36,879 --> 01:28:37,844
(Brian yelling)

2120
01:28:37,846 --> 01:28:40,314
(Crying)

2121
01:28:40,316 --> 01:28:46,653
(♪♪♪)

2122
01:28:46,655 --> 01:28:50,590
Jay, you can have<i> The Odyssey</i>.

2123
01:28:50,592 --> 01:28:52,542
Carrie.

2124
01:28:52,543 --> 01:28:54,493
I know about you and Carrie,
motherfucker!

2125
01:28:54,496 --> 01:28:55,796
(Brian O'Halloran grunting)

2126
01:28:55,798 --> 01:28:57,731
What about Carrie?

2127
01:28:57,733 --> 01:28:58,732
Carrie?

2128
01:28:58,734 --> 01:29:00,434
Jason!

2129
01:29:00,436 --> 01:29:02,503
Who the hell is that?

2130
01:29:02,504 --> 01:29:04,571
Are you about
to murder Brian O'Halloran?

2131
01:29:04,573 --> 01:29:06,373
Look, I saw what was
on the computer, right?

2132
01:29:06,375 --> 01:29:08,542
And I saw you guys hugging
at Esteban's.

2133
01:29:08,544 --> 01:29:09,576
No.

2134
01:29:09,578 --> 01:29:11,011
Jason, you asshole.

2135
01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:12,579
I asked Brian
to take you seriously

2136
01:29:12,581 --> 01:29:14,915
- as an actor at Esteban's.
- Yeah.

2137
01:29:14,917 --> 01:29:16,909
I told him it would
mean the world for you

2138
01:29:16,910 --> 01:29:18,902
if you got the role
in<i> The Odyssey</i>.

2139
01:29:18,903 --> 01:29:20,895
Uh, yeah, man, yeah,
<i>The Odyssey</i>.

2140
01:29:20,896 --> 01:29:22,888
This is also Brian
from next door.

2141
01:29:22,891 --> 01:29:24,825
I've been bidding
on that fucking comic

2142
01:29:24,827 --> 01:29:26,693
as a surprise to you.

2143
01:29:26,695 --> 01:29:28,462
I've been bidding on that
as well.

2144
01:29:28,464 --> 01:29:31,565
You are the other bidder?

2145
01:29:31,567 --> 01:29:35,035
And you're
that rude little motherfucker.

2146
01:29:35,037 --> 01:29:38,672
Sit the fuck down!

2147
01:29:38,674 --> 01:29:41,875
You were about to kill Brian
for me?

2148
01:29:41,877 --> 01:29:44,511
Not exactly, but...

2149
01:29:44,513 --> 01:29:46,513
Well, yeah, I guess I was.

2150
01:29:46,515 --> 01:29:53,553
(♪♪♪)

2151
01:29:53,555 --> 01:29:54,788
Baby.

2152
01:29:54,790 --> 01:29:57,057
Carrie.

2153
01:29:57,059 --> 01:29:58,525
I love you.

2154
01:29:58,527 --> 01:30:00,560
I love you, too.

2155
01:30:00,562 --> 01:30:02,662
(Kissing)

2156
01:30:06,535 --> 01:30:09,803
What are we gonna do
about O'Halloran?

2157
01:30:09,805 --> 01:30:11,671
Baby, he's a witness now.

2158
01:30:11,673 --> 01:30:12,806
The Odyssey's,
you're right about it.

2159
01:30:12,808 --> 01:30:13,874
I'm not a witness.

2160
01:30:13,876 --> 01:30:15,976
I'm not saying anything.

2161
01:30:15,977 --> 01:30:18,077
Well, I guess you better finish
the job then, angel.

2162
01:30:18,080 --> 01:30:19,079
You sure?

2163
01:30:19,081 --> 01:30:21,081
No, please.

2164
01:30:21,083 --> 01:30:22,716
What's the alternative?

2165
01:30:22,718 --> 01:30:23,950
What?

2166
01:30:23,952 --> 01:30:26,553
I guess you're right.

2167
01:30:26,555 --> 01:30:28,822
- (Screaming)
- Jason, wait.

2168
01:30:28,824 --> 01:30:30,657
What is it?

2169
01:30:30,659 --> 01:30:31,992
Say it for me.

2170
01:30:31,994 --> 01:30:33,660
Please.

2171
01:30:33,662 --> 01:30:34,828
Oh yeah.

2172
01:30:34,830 --> 01:30:36,696
Snoogans, motherfucker!

2173
01:30:36,698 --> 01:30:38,899
(Screaming)

2174
01:30:43,005 --> 01:30:46,139
You have been found guilty
of murder in the first degree.

2175
01:30:46,141 --> 01:30:49,009
(Indistinct chatter)

2176
01:30:49,011 --> 01:30:50,833
JUDGE:
Silence in court!

2177
01:30:50,834 --> 01:30:52,656
...also starring in such movies
as<i> Clerks</i>,

2178
01:30:52,657 --> 01:30:54,479
<i>Chasing Amy,</i> and<i> Mallrats</i>
has been called back

2179
01:30:54,483 --> 01:30:57,751
into the court as the jury
has reached a verdict.

2180
01:30:57,753 --> 01:31:02,856
A celebrity capable
of setting an example.

2181
01:31:02,858 --> 01:31:05,158
Instead you chose to act

2182
01:31:05,160 --> 01:31:08,061
in a consistently
despicable manner,

2183
01:31:08,063 --> 01:31:11,131
be it on the screen
or over a podcast.

2184
01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:13,200
The crux of the case came
when DNA evidence

2185
01:31:13,202 --> 01:31:15,001
was found at the scene
of the crime.

2186
01:31:15,003 --> 01:31:17,204
Therefore, this court
is left with no choice

2187
01:31:17,206 --> 01:31:22,042
but to impose a sentence
of life imprisonment.

2188
01:31:22,044 --> 01:31:26,246
Do you have anything to say
to the court at this time?

2189
01:31:26,248 --> 01:31:28,748
Mr. Smith?

2190
01:31:28,750 --> 01:31:32,085
I c-- I can't-- I can't believe
this is happening.

2191
01:31:32,087 --> 01:31:33,887
It wasn't me, man!

2192
01:31:33,889 --> 01:31:35,755
- I'm innocent.
- That'll do.

2193
01:31:35,757 --> 01:31:37,991
It wasn't the fat one,
it was the skinny one!

2194
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:40,760
- Silence!
- Man!

2195
01:31:40,762 --> 01:31:42,162
The remnants
of a marijuana cigarette

2196
01:31:42,164 --> 01:31:44,498
with traces of Kevin Smith's DNA
was found

2197
01:31:44,500 --> 01:31:46,867
on the body of Brian O'Halloran.

2198
01:31:46,869 --> 01:31:48,101
Silent Bob wants Jay
to go step

2199
01:31:48,103 --> 01:31:49,503
on that fucking joint.

2200
01:31:55,043 --> 01:31:58,211
Some suggest that this murder
is the result of reefer madness.

2201
01:31:58,213 --> 01:32:00,780
As Kevin Smith was a loud
proponent of marijuana smoking,

2202
01:32:00,782 --> 01:32:02,916
it brings into question--

2203
01:32:02,918 --> 01:32:04,918
Wait.
Wait, wait!

2204
01:32:04,920 --> 01:32:07,787
Wait, I'm getting breaking news.

2205
01:32:07,789 --> 01:32:09,189
Kevin Smith
has been found guilty

2206
01:32:09,191 --> 01:32:10,991
of the murder
of Brian O'Halloran.

2207
01:32:10,993 --> 01:32:12,009
NEWS REPORTERS: (Together)
Kevin! Kevin!

2208
01:32:12,010 --> 01:32:13,026
Here he is.
Kevin.

2209
01:32:13,028 --> 01:32:14,344
Move, bitch!

2210
01:32:14,345 --> 01:32:15,661
- Kevin!
- NEWS REPORTER 5: Kevin Smith.

2211
01:32:15,662 --> 01:32:16,978
- OLIVER: Out of my way, bitch!
- KEVIN: It wasn't me.

2212
01:32:16,979 --> 01:32:18,295
NEWS REPORTERS: (Together)
(Indistinct speech)

2213
01:32:18,300 --> 01:32:19,917
OLIVER:
Kevin! Kevin!

2214
01:32:19,918 --> 01:32:21,535
Come on, man, it wasn't me,
it was the other guy!

2215
01:32:21,537 --> 01:32:22,536
Come on!

2216
01:32:22,538 --> 01:32:24,037
It was Jay!

2217
01:32:24,039 --> 01:32:25,956
Jay!

2218
01:32:25,957 --> 01:32:27,874
I'd like to thank the detectives
who worked so hard on this case

2219
01:32:27,876 --> 01:32:30,076
to bring us a swift
and just verdict.

2220
01:32:30,078 --> 01:32:31,734
What's the latest
with Vinnie Jones?

2221
01:32:31,735 --> 01:32:33,391
NEWS REPORTER 6:
Does he link to this case?

2222
01:32:33,392 --> 01:32:35,048
The LAPD has
an outstanding arrest warrant

2223
01:32:35,050 --> 01:32:37,217
for Vincent Jones
regarding two separate murders.

2224
01:32:37,219 --> 01:32:39,853
However, latest intelligence
suggests he's currently hiding

2225
01:32:39,855 --> 01:32:42,789
in the United Kingdom amidst
his extensive criminal network

2226
01:32:42,791 --> 01:32:44,224
within the British underworld.

2227
01:32:44,225 --> 01:32:45,658
- NEWS REPORTERS: Jay!
- It's Jason!

2228
01:32:45,659 --> 01:32:47,092
Jason!
Move, bitch.

2229
01:32:47,095 --> 01:32:49,796
Jason, how do you feel
about the court's decision?

2230
01:32:49,798 --> 01:32:51,565
Absolutely mortified.

2231
01:32:51,567 --> 01:32:53,567
Do you still believe Kevin
was innocent?

2232
01:32:53,569 --> 01:32:56,069
Now, I believe you know,
Kevin's jealousy

2233
01:32:56,071 --> 01:32:58,238
over Brian O'Halloran's
career directing,

2234
01:32:58,240 --> 01:32:59,973
it's a little funky,

2235
01:32:59,975 --> 01:33:03,076
but I can't imagine Kevin
doing anything like this.

2236
01:33:03,078 --> 01:33:04,177
- (Indistinct speech)
- Oh, Jason.

2237
01:33:04,179 --> 01:33:05,946
Jason, is it also true

2238
01:33:05,948 --> 01:33:07,347
that you've been hired
onto what would have been

2239
01:33:07,349 --> 01:33:09,983
Mr. O'Halloran's
big directorial debut?

2240
01:33:09,985 --> 01:33:11,935
Well, Brian and I spoke
at lengths

2241
01:33:11,936 --> 01:33:13,886
about me playing the lead
in<i> The Odyssey</i>,

2242
01:33:13,889 --> 01:33:15,889
and matter of fact
the first time

2243
01:33:15,890 --> 01:33:17,890
he showed me the project,
it was on the set of<i> Dogma</i>.

2244
01:33:17,893 --> 01:33:19,259
So I think I should
follow through with it

2245
01:33:19,261 --> 01:33:21,661
and who better than Chris Nolan

2246
01:33:21,663 --> 01:33:23,597
to fill
Brian's remarkable shoes.

2247
01:33:23,599 --> 01:33:25,031
I mean it's gonna be great.
Great.

2248
01:33:25,033 --> 01:33:26,333
Oh, Jason, one last question.

2249
01:33:26,335 --> 01:33:28,201
Jason!
Jason!

2250
01:33:28,203 --> 01:33:31,104
(Indistinct chatter)

2251
01:33:31,106 --> 01:33:33,607
(Snoochie girls cheering)

2252
01:33:33,609 --> 01:33:35,208
(Indistinct speech)

2253
01:33:35,210 --> 01:33:37,010
(Indistinct chatter)

2254
01:33:37,012 --> 01:33:39,980
(Indistinct chatter)

2255
01:33:39,982 --> 01:33:45,151
(♪♪♪)

2256
01:33:45,153 --> 01:33:46,653
OLIVER:
Mr. Arnold!

2257
01:33:46,655 --> 01:33:48,622
- Mr. Arnold!
- Detective.

2258
01:33:48,624 --> 01:33:50,274
Do you not believe
your presence here

2259
01:33:50,275 --> 01:33:51,925
is a little inappropriate
considering what you--

2260
01:33:51,927 --> 01:33:54,294
Jason Mewes
is a criminal mastermind.

2261
01:33:54,296 --> 01:33:56,146
Your obsession with Mewes
is alleged

2262
01:33:56,147 --> 01:33:57,997
to have dated back
to your unsuccessful audition

2263
01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:00,033
for a role that Jason
was offered.

2264
01:34:00,035 --> 01:34:01,568
Noogles to the snoo--

2265
01:34:01,569 --> 01:34:03,102
- MAN 1: No, next.
- Oh.

2266
01:34:03,103 --> 01:34:04,636
That's substantiated
and you can't prove that.

2267
01:34:04,640 --> 01:34:06,640
You have been disgraced,
thrown off the force,

2268
01:34:06,642 --> 01:34:08,408
and could face
criminal assault charges

2269
01:34:08,410 --> 01:34:11,044
after the infamous
security video was leaked.

2270
01:34:13,148 --> 01:34:15,181
- (Grunting)
- Now are you, motherfucker?

2271
01:34:15,183 --> 01:34:17,417
And yet you stand here today
still insisting

2272
01:34:17,419 --> 01:34:20,053
that Mewes is a murderer?

2273
01:34:20,055 --> 01:34:22,222
If I have to spend
every goddamn second

2274
01:34:22,223 --> 01:34:24,390
of the rest of my life proving
that Jason Mewes is a murderer,

2275
01:34:24,393 --> 01:34:25,692
I will.

2276
01:34:25,693 --> 01:34:26,992
I'm a descendant
of Sherlock Holmes,

2277
01:34:26,995 --> 01:34:28,094
motherfucker.

2278
01:34:28,096 --> 01:34:29,396
I can solve anything.

2279
01:34:29,398 --> 01:34:31,064
You hear that, Mewes?

2280
01:34:31,066 --> 01:34:32,966
I'm coming for you,
son of a bitch.

2281
01:34:32,968 --> 01:34:35,101
You cock-sucking actor,
motherfucker.

2282
01:34:35,103 --> 01:34:36,703
I'm coming for you!

2283
01:34:36,705 --> 01:34:38,104
Nothing will stop me!

2284
01:34:38,106 --> 01:34:40,240
Absolutely nothing!

2285
01:34:40,242 --> 01:34:41,274
Fucker!

2286
01:34:41,276 --> 01:34:43,343
(Arnold laughing)

2287
01:34:43,345 --> 01:34:44,934
If he's related
to Sherlock Holmes,

2288
01:34:44,935 --> 01:34:46,524
then I am fucking Ryan Gosling.

2289
01:34:46,525 --> 01:34:48,114
And let me tell you now,
I am not fucking Go--

2290
01:34:51,987 --> 01:35:02,095
(♪♪♪)

2291
01:35:16,712 --> 01:35:19,245
ABBIE: We have a brand new number
1 most important movie star

2292
01:35:19,247 --> 01:35:20,380
in the world.

2293
01:35:23,418 --> 01:35:25,852
That's right, Danny Trejo
is on top

2294
01:35:25,854 --> 01:35:27,887
as the world's
most important movie star.

2295
01:35:27,889 --> 01:35:37,997
(♪♪♪)

2296
01:35:57,919 --> 01:36:08,027
(♪♪♪)

2297
01:36:27,949 --> 01:36:38,057
(♪♪♪)

2298
01:36:51,873 --> 01:36:53,684
Piece of shit!

2299
01:36:53,685 --> 01:36:55,496
JAY: See for yourself.
Why don't you have a sip?

2300
01:36:55,497 --> 01:36:57,308
- I will cut your throat, bitch.
- Why?

2301
01:36:57,312 --> 01:36:59,212
You didn't see me run
anyone over.

2302
01:36:59,214 --> 01:37:00,947
- I didn't see you.
- Wait, what?

2303
01:37:00,949 --> 01:37:02,315
I thought maybe it was that

2304
01:37:02,317 --> 01:37:04,350
English soccer thug
turned actor,

2305
01:37:04,352 --> 01:37:05,668
'cause they keep showing him
on the news,

2306
01:37:05,669 --> 01:37:06,985
but I was blinded
by the headlights,

2307
01:37:06,988 --> 01:37:08,521
- I didn't see.
- Woah!

2308
01:37:08,523 --> 01:37:10,456
ZACH:
Back here, dude.

2309
01:37:10,458 --> 01:37:12,392
Dude, it's me.

2310
01:37:12,394 --> 01:37:13,960
Who's me?

2311
01:37:13,962 --> 01:37:15,395
ZACH: (Chuckling)
It's Zach.

2312
01:37:15,397 --> 01:37:16,963
What the fuck?

2313
01:37:16,965 --> 01:37:18,298
- Zach Galligan?
- ZACH: Shhh!

2314
01:37:18,300 --> 01:37:19,850
Keep your voice down, man.

2315
01:37:19,851 --> 01:37:21,401
I'm gonna be signing shit here
for a month.

2316
01:37:21,403 --> 01:37:23,369
Zach, didn't you get a call?

2317
01:37:23,371 --> 01:37:24,370
ZACH: You know,
this kid came up to me...

2318
01:37:24,372 --> 01:37:25,839
What?

2319
01:37:25,841 --> 01:37:27,624
Get a call.
What?

2320
01:37:27,625 --> 01:37:29,408
- That's not the line.
- I'm sorry, bro.

2321
01:37:29,411 --> 01:37:31,978
Uh, we gave this part
to Dean Cain.

2322
01:37:31,980 --> 01:37:34,013
ZACH:
What, you gave it to Cain?

2323
01:37:34,015 --> 01:37:35,381
Super bitch?

2324
01:37:35,383 --> 01:37:37,233
Dean Cain.

2325
01:37:37,234 --> 01:37:39,084
He's not in<i> Gremlins</i>
or<i> Gremlins 2</i>.

2326
01:37:39,087 --> 01:37:41,054
Zach, I gave you the part
as the director.

2327
01:37:41,056 --> 01:37:42,388
But I can do two parts.

2328
01:37:42,390 --> 01:37:43,990
That's why I did the accent.

2329
01:37:43,992 --> 01:37:45,525
Bro, I don't know what to say.

2330
01:37:45,527 --> 01:37:47,126
Why don't you go watch
your fucking movie?

2331
01:37:47,128 --> 01:37:48,628
I need an ambulance.

2332
01:37:48,630 --> 01:37:51,130
No shit,
'cause that looks painful.

2333
01:37:51,132 --> 01:37:52,398
You killed that guy.

2334
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:54,400
You're looking pretty pale, bro.

2335
01:37:54,402 --> 01:37:57,337
Are you kidding me?

2336
01:37:57,339 --> 01:37:59,138
What have you got for me
in the picture, huh?

2337
01:37:59,140 --> 01:38:01,941
It's like it could be like
end-title sequence?

2338
01:38:01,943 --> 01:38:03,676
Or it could be
like a crowd sequence

2339
01:38:03,677 --> 01:38:05,410
and it would be like,
"Hey, hey, Gremlin dude!"

2340
01:38:05,413 --> 01:38:06,446
You know,
if I act something like that.

2341
01:38:06,448 --> 01:38:07,480
What do you say?

2342
01:38:07,482 --> 01:38:08,982
We are fully casted.

2343
01:38:08,984 --> 01:38:10,016
(Sighs)

2344
01:38:10,018 --> 01:38:11,651
You gotta help me out.

2345
01:38:11,653 --> 01:38:13,920
I need screen time.

2346
01:38:13,922 --> 01:38:16,055
I'm trying to fucking stay
in the game.

2347
01:38:16,057 --> 01:38:18,658
Alright, listen, I'll talk
to my producers Dom and Rob,

2348
01:38:18,660 --> 01:38:19,893
see if we can--

2349
01:38:19,895 --> 01:38:21,394
Don't pawn me off, bro.

2350
01:38:21,396 --> 01:38:22,395
I'm not.

2351
01:38:22,397 --> 01:38:23,897
Shut up!

2352
01:38:23,899 --> 01:38:26,432
(Grunting)

2353
01:38:26,434 --> 01:38:28,568
And cut.

2354
01:38:28,570 --> 01:38:29,869
Thank you, everyone.

2355
01:38:29,870 --> 01:38:31,169
That is a picture wrap.

2356
01:38:31,172 --> 01:38:41,247
(♪♪♪)