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[cheering and applause]
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Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is The Fix,
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a show where we try to solve
the world's biggest problems
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whilst having a laugh, and good luck us,
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because this time we're tackling
the thorny issue of guns.
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Hey, don't shoot the messenger.
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[laughter]
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Now, gun control
is an incredibly emotive debate
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and we don't want those emotions
to get out of hand,
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because let's not forget,
one side has guns.
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[laughter]
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At this point, in America,
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there are almost as many guns
as there are people,
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although guns are doing their very best
to reverse that statistic.
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[laughter]
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1.4 million Americans
have been shot since 1970.
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To be fair,
because of a massive increase in obesity,
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Americans are easy targets.
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[laughter]
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There are, of course,
legitimate reasons for owning a gun.
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Americans have a constitutional right
to bear arms,
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because remember, guns don't kill people.
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Laws from the late 1700s kill people.
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[laughter]
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It's a huge, complex issue.
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So who better to come up with a solution
than a bunch of unarmed comedians?
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Welcome to The Fix.
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[applause, theme song plays]
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Here's how the show works.
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I've challenged two teams of comedians
to come up with a fix for guns.
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At the end of the show,
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our studio audience will be voting
on what they think is the best idea
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and then we'll be done.
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Nobel Peace Prizes all round,
ice cream for everyone.
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[laughter]
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Joining me to figure out guns
are Katherine Ryan and Clayton English.
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[cheering and applause]
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And DL Hughley and Sarah Tiana!
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[cheering and applause]
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Okay, before we get to our fixes,
let's take a closer look at the problem.
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So, Sarah, are you a gun person?
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You'd think so,
because I grew up in the South.
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And most of my family are gun people.
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My dad took me hunting when I was little,
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but I asked too many questions,
so I didn't get to go no more.
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-You know.
-[laughter]
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And I asked my brother-in-law,
"Why do you have so many guns?"
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He's like, "Because I've got to protect
this house," and I was like...
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"But nobody wants your DVD player."
Like, I don't understand...
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-I don't really understand him.
-[Carr] Katherine, what do you think?
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[Katherine] I have zero experience
with guns,
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apart from the tickets to the gun show
that you keep selling me.
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[laughter]
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I'm starting to believe
there's no gun show at all.
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[laughter]
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I know that the ones in your house
pose the greatest threat to your safety.
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You could die getting away from them.
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But apparently getting rid of them
is unconstitutional.
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I'm, of course, talking about men--
nature's gun.
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[laughter]
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Clayton, why do you think
Americans love guns so much?
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We're too fat to fight.
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[laughter]
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-[applause]
-[Clayton] We need shortcuts, man.
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[laughter]
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We glorify it too. It's in everything.
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When did the hero ever talk it out?
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Cowboys, gangster movies.
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The people they glorify
are all the people with guns
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and they make it seem like you've got
to have a gun to feel protected.
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-And I do, but...
-You...
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[laughter]
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-You're a gun owner?
-Yes.
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Okay. So why did you buy a gun?
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Because everybody else had them.
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-[laughter]
-[Clayton] Everybody else.
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I felt that way about Pokémon,
but I resisted.
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[laughter]
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I got it out of fear.
Everybody's scared now.
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You should watch the news.
You're going to be scared.
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-It is terrifying.
-Yeah.
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The police pulled me over two weeks ago.
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We were both scared.
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[laughter]
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Like, I knew he was scared
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because I was trying
not to make eye contact
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and I looked in the rear-view mirror
and we locked eyes
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and we both looked away,
so I was like, "Oh."
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"Either he's scared or we're flirting.
I don't know," so...
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[laughter]
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-DL, you're a gun owner, right?
-Yeah.
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I own eight guns.
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-Eight guns?
-Oh, my goodness.
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Well, at first I owned guns
because I lived around black people.
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-But now I live around white people, so...
-Same!
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[laughter]
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So where are your guns currently, DL?
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I have three in Calabasas,
three in Santa Barbara and two in NY.
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So you've got the guns
in different houses that you've got?
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I've heard of hoes
in different area codes,
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but never Glocks on different blocks.
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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You know, I understand DL's point of view,
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because if I lived in a rough area
like Calabasas--
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-Yeah.
-I would want a gun.
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If I lived in... Because Calabasas
is very much the hood, right?
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I'll tell you something. Justin Bieber
just moved out, so it was rough.
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[laughter]
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Have you seen...
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Have you seen what the Kardashians
have done to black men in Calabasas?
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[laughter]
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Travesty.
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[applause]
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-Clayton, whereabouts are you from?
-I'm from Georgia.
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From Georgia.
And what are the gun laws in Georgia?
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We've got open carry.
As long as you have a permit,
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you can carry it in the car
or in the glove box.
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The South has a lot
of open carry laws, where you...
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You know, you see the Walmart videos
with people shopping
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with the ARs on their back?
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It's cool as long as they're white.
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[laughter]
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As long as they're white.
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[applause]
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[Sarah laughs]
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Now, people have preconceptions
about gun owners,
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but not all gun owners look or sound
as you might expect.
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Take a look at this political campaign ad.
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[man] Ready?
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Aim.
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Breathe in. Breathe out.
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Gently squeeze trigger...
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-and fire.
-[gunfire]
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It's how Kathleen Wall's daddy taught her
to shoot growing up on her Texas farm.
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It's a part of Kathleen's life.
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If anyone thinks a nice lady
with a soft voice
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might naturally be soft
on the Second Amendment
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then they are making a big mistake.
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[woman] I'm Kathleen Wall
and I approve this message.
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[laughter]
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So she's got the voice of a toddler
and she loves guns.
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Two words. Daddy issues.
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[laughter]
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She's practicing shooting just in case
one of her sons tells her he's gay.
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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Why does she have the rifle from Bonanza?
That's scary.
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That's the slave-catcher 5,000. Nobody...
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[laughter]
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[Clayton] That's no...
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It reminds me of the white people that...
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don't show their teeth
when they smile at black people, like...
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[laughter]
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They'll call the police on you real quick.
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[laughter]
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Yeah, I don't know. She seemed
just like a really cool aunt to me.
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I'm really...
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I really don't think she seems that bad.
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I mean, she's probably only shot,
like, four black people, you know.
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[laughter]
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Which is really low for Texas.
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I'm just saying it's low for Texas.
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That's what they call, in Texas,
a moderate.
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[laughter]
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People in Texas
are going to vote for her no matter what,
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because her last name is Wall
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and they love walls there.
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[laughter]
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-She should have played that angle.
-Yeah, I know.
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Her last name is Wall,
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but her husband's name is Holly Frost,
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which is the most snowflakiest name
I've ever heard in my life.
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His genuine name is Holly Frost.
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Yes, I do research
before I come on this show.
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[laughter]
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I loved it, because I was like,
"Same-sex partnership.
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I'm on board with the haircut.
I get it now. But..."
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[laughter]
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Holly Frost. That sounds
like Santa Claus's side chick.
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Right.
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[laughter, applause]
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[Carr] Here's an amazing fact for you.
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In the past 50 years,
more Americans have died from gun violence
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than in all the wars in American history.
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And they want us to be worried about ISIS.
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I'm more scared of "us-is".
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[laughter]
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Sarah, does that fact surprise you?
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That there's been more than one war?
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-[laughter]
-Yes.
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Just... I only learned about the Civil War
growing up, but...
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[laughter]
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[Sarah] But, yeah, that is shocking.
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I feel like a lot of it has...
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Obviously we have a mass shooting problem
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and they use the same adjectives
to describe the shooter
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that they use to describe women
on a regular basis.
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-That really bothers me.
-[Carr] What do they say?
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Those are my adjectives. I've earned them.
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It's like, "Over-emotional,
over-reactive, keeps a diary."
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Like, those are mine.
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[laughter]
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Just saying, like...
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I don't want to share them with no killer,
because I don't know if you've noticed,
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ain't a lot of mass murder
happening by women these days.
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Right.
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[laughter]
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[Carr] Very good point.
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I'm with Sarah. I feel that all women
should be armed to the fullest.
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Yeah, because we're never going to use it.
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We can be trusted.
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Have you seen the show Snapped?
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-No.
-[laughter]
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That's all it is about.
No, women don't do mass murder.
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They just kill one dude slowly...
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over time.
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[laughter]
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[Katherine] When women kill,
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it's so rare
that they do a whole show about it
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and they send Piers Morgan into a room
to interview them
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and I keep watching,
siding with the ladies.
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I'm like, "Come on, girls, one more time."
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[laughter]
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Okay, well, lots of people
enjoy shooting ranges
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and no-one's got a problem with that.
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Take a look at this ad,
and listen out for the incredible laugh.
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Hi, folks. This is Don from Don's Guns.
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Have I got a deal for you?
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Normally a membership here at Don's Guns
is $100 unlimited shooting for one year,
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but if you'll come in now
and join my range,
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00:09:43,726 --> 00:09:45,894
either North or South,
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I'll give you an American-made gun
worth $80 as part of the membership.
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Why? You know why.
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Because I don't want
to make any money, folks.
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I just love to sell guns. [laughs]
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00:10:00,242 --> 00:10:02,077
[scattered laughter]
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Now Don's Guns is still one of the biggest
gun retailers in the country.
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Would you shop there, Katherine?
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I like Don.
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00:10:09,451 --> 00:10:13,956
I enjoy a man who anticipates a crime
by showing up dressed for the trial.
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You know?
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00:10:14,923 --> 00:10:16,759
-[laughter]
-I like that.
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00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,060
[applause]
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He doesn't care about the money.
He's just interested in selling guns.
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It's his vocation. What do you think?
Would you buy a gun from Don?
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No. I know the devil
when he takes human form.
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[laughter]
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I've seen him before.
You're not fooling me.
250
00:10:29,738 --> 00:10:31,106
Did you see that guy?
251
00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,643
And what kind of gun was that?
Does that gun shoot skittles?
252
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,045
That's a little gun, man.
253
00:10:36,478 --> 00:10:37,713
It's a little gun.
254
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:39,548
I just thought he was a giant man.
255
00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:42,785
Sorry, you thought he was enormous
and the gun was regular sized?
256
00:10:43,385 --> 00:10:45,387
I only... Yeah. I just...
257
00:10:45,454 --> 00:10:46,689
[laughter]
258
00:10:46,755 --> 00:10:47,589
[Carr] Right.
259
00:10:47,656 --> 00:10:50,325
I don't have guns.
I didn't know they could be so small
260
00:10:50,392 --> 00:10:51,827
Oh, you didn't... Yeah, they...
261
00:10:54,563 --> 00:10:55,798
[Carr] Sometimes, Katherine...
262
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,466
Sometimes, when it's been really cold...
263
00:10:57,766 --> 00:11:00,002
[laughter]
264
00:11:01,937 --> 00:11:02,771
[Carr] Okay.
265
00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:05,374
Here on The Fix,
we have our very own data expert.
266
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:07,076
Please welcome Mona Chalabi.
267
00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:09,845
[cheering and applause]
268
00:11:13,115 --> 00:11:16,385
So, Mona, I want data. I love data.
Tell us what you've got for us.
269
00:11:16,452 --> 00:11:19,988
Well, Jimmy, the debate about guns
generally focuses on the US,
270
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,324
but I wanted to take a look
at other countries
271
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,059
where gun laws are different.
272
00:11:24,126 --> 00:11:28,630
In the US, the chances of being killed
by a gun are about one in 32,000.
273
00:11:28,697 --> 00:11:31,567
Those are roughly the same odds
as being killed in a car accident.
274
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:32,968
Let's see how that equation looks
275
00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:36,205
in other countries
where they different controls in place.
276
00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:37,406
First off, Japan,
277
00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:39,541
where the odds of being killed by a gun
are so low
278
00:11:39,608 --> 00:11:42,077
that you're just as likely to die
from being struck by lightning.
279
00:11:42,144 --> 00:11:42,978
[thunder rumbles]
280
00:11:43,045 --> 00:11:44,513
Next, Australia.
281
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:47,316
Here, the odds are the same
as dying from falling out of bed.
282
00:11:47,382 --> 00:11:49,118
-[laughter]
-And, in Germany,
283
00:11:49,184 --> 00:11:50,686
the odds of being killed by a gun
284
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,988
are the same as something
pretty surprising.
285
00:11:53,055 --> 00:11:56,325
What do you think it is?
It's a kind of treat.
286
00:11:56,859 --> 00:11:58,060
Sorry, what?
287
00:11:58,127 --> 00:11:59,661
[laughter]
288
00:11:59,728 --> 00:12:01,396
It's auto-erotic asphyxiation.
289
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:03,065
-[man moans]
-[laughter]
290
00:12:03,966 --> 00:12:08,504
Sorry, you're as likely to die
from auto-erotic asphyxiation in Germany
291
00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:10,105
as gunshot wounds?
292
00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:11,006
Exactly.
293
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:12,608
[laughter]
294
00:12:12,674 --> 00:12:15,210
That's an... How did you find that out?
295
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,979
What website were you on?
296
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:18,814
[Mona] An academic--
297
00:12:18,881 --> 00:12:21,617
Also... Hang on,
you just described it as a treat.
298
00:12:21,683 --> 00:12:22,551
No, no...
299
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:23,719
[Clayton] You did.
300
00:12:24,386 --> 00:12:26,021
You just said it was a treat.
301
00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:27,289
-Not me!
-Mona!
302
00:12:27,356 --> 00:12:28,390
I don't know!
303
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,925
[applause]
304
00:12:29,992 --> 00:12:32,628
Okay, so how many people
do you think die each year in Germany
305
00:12:32,694 --> 00:12:34,563
from auto-erotic asphyxiation?
It's just men.
306
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,198
I would go...
307
00:12:36,565 --> 00:12:37,733
Five.
308
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,735
-It's one hundred.
-[Clayton] A hundred?
309
00:12:40,369 --> 00:12:41,570
-One hundred?
-What?
310
00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:44,773
-One hundred guys a year--
-Roughly one hundred.
311
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,176
-Are choking with--
-This is from an academic study.
312
00:12:47,242 --> 00:12:49,278
-Academic study?
-[laughter]
313
00:12:49,878 --> 00:12:53,515
Or maybe you were just treating yourself
on the internet and you...
314
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,819
You came across the raw data,
did you, Mona?
315
00:12:56,885 --> 00:12:58,320
[laughter]
316
00:12:58,387 --> 00:13:01,356
Auto-erotic asphyxiation
sounds like a good way to go,
317
00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:03,525
because I wish to die as I lived,
318
00:13:03,592 --> 00:13:07,162
and that is making it awkward
for my family to explain what I do.
319
00:13:07,462 --> 00:13:08,964
[laughter]
320
00:13:09,598 --> 00:13:11,099
[applause]
321
00:13:13,902 --> 00:13:15,237
What else have you got for us?
322
00:13:15,304 --> 00:13:18,507
So, with all of the debate
about gun control in the US,
323
00:13:18,574 --> 00:13:20,676
I wanted to take a look at gun sales.
324
00:13:20,742 --> 00:13:22,778
Now, the data shows
that they're on the rise.
325
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:26,114
They've gone up by 63%
since the year 2000.
326
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:30,452
What's interesting is that the percentage
of Americans who own guns is falling.
327
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:34,523
So this rise is all down
to existing owners buying more guns.
328
00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:37,326
Gun sales often spike
after mass shootings,
329
00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:40,262
when people get worried
that gun laws might get tougher.
330
00:13:40,329 --> 00:13:43,265
But actually the reality
is even more complicated
331
00:13:43,332 --> 00:13:44,900
than this chart suggests.
332
00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:47,936
This line has been smoothed out
to ignore seasonal patterns
333
00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:49,071
so that it just shows us
334
00:13:49,137 --> 00:13:50,339
the long-term trend.
335
00:13:50,405 --> 00:13:53,075
So let's un-adjust it to see the detail.
336
00:13:53,141 --> 00:13:56,345
Well, there are two spikes
each and every year.
337
00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:59,147
One around February and one in December.
338
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,583
I wanted to find out
why the numbers spike then.
339
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:04,553
It turns out
that there is a very simple explanation.
340
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:07,723
The first annual spike
comes at the start of hunting season
341
00:14:07,789 --> 00:14:10,425
and, interestingly,
the second is around Christmas
342
00:14:10,492 --> 00:14:12,327
when guns are bought as gifts.
343
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:13,262
So the data shows
344
00:14:13,328 --> 00:14:15,898
that guns really are ingrained
in American culture.
345
00:14:15,964 --> 00:14:18,267
So in Christmas
people are buying guns as gifts?
346
00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:19,167
Yeah.
347
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:22,704
Are you sure? Because it could just be
you've spent Thanksgiving with them...
348
00:14:22,771 --> 00:14:24,773
[laughter]
349
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,843
You have to spend another four days
until New Year's with these people.
350
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,445
You go, "You know what?
Someone's got to die."
351
00:14:30,512 --> 00:14:31,580
[laughter]
352
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:36,218
It's just weird to give somebody a gun
on Christmas.
353
00:14:36,285 --> 00:14:39,488
Nothing celebrates the birth of Christ
like popping a cap in somebody.
354
00:14:39,554 --> 00:14:40,923
[laughter]
355
00:14:40,989 --> 00:14:44,126
If Jesus had a gun, he wouldn't
have gone on that cross. I know that.
356
00:14:44,192 --> 00:14:46,828
[laughter]
357
00:14:46,895 --> 00:14:48,563
"Oh, you're the Romans, are you?
358
00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,966
-Have a look at this."
-[laughter]
359
00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:53,535
So there's a spike at Christmas.
There's also a spike in February.
360
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,637
-That's the start of hunting season.
-Yeah.
361
00:14:55,704 --> 00:14:57,372
Depending on what it is
that you're hunting.
362
00:14:57,439 --> 00:15:00,175
I thought that February
was for Valentine's Day.
363
00:15:00,242 --> 00:15:02,077
Honestly, that's what I thought.
364
00:15:02,144 --> 00:15:05,314
"I guess flowers and chocolates?"
"No, this year, I got you an elk."
365
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:06,214
[Sarah] Yes.
366
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,917
"I'll buy you a bullet vibrator.
You buy me a bullet gun."
367
00:15:08,984 --> 00:15:10,686
It's all a happy relationship.
368
00:15:10,752 --> 00:15:13,488
[laughter]
369
00:15:13,555 --> 00:15:15,023
I can't understand...
370
00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:17,326
If you need a gun
that shoots 1,000 rounds,
371
00:15:17,392 --> 00:15:18,727
you are shitty hunter.
372
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:21,363
If you shoot that bad,
you shouldn't be a hunter.
373
00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:23,699
You should be a Laker
if you shoot that bad.
374
00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:25,434
[laughter]
375
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,804
[applause]
376
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,808
I feel like the same person
that would buy a fully automatic weapon
377
00:15:32,874 --> 00:15:36,211
is the same person that would bet
on every number on roulette.
378
00:15:36,278 --> 00:15:39,748
They're like, "I don't want to win.
I just want to hit something."
379
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,016
Yeah.
380
00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:43,785
-[laughter]
-It's probably going to happen.
381
00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:47,089
Fascinating stuff. Thank you, Mona.
382
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,223
Thank you.
383
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,158
-[cheering and applause]
-Brilliant.
384
00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:53,996
Let's get to the heart of the show.
Let's get to the fixes.
385
00:15:54,062 --> 00:15:56,064
It's time to deal with the issue of guns.
386
00:15:56,131 --> 00:15:58,233
Katherine's team
is ready to give it a shot.
387
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:00,235
Ladies and gentlemen, Katherine Ryan!
388
00:16:00,302 --> 00:16:01,870
Thank you. Hello.
389
00:16:01,937 --> 00:16:04,272
[cheering and applause]
390
00:16:05,307 --> 00:16:08,977
The issue of gun control
is a very complicated fix, Jimmy,
391
00:16:09,044 --> 00:16:11,646
which is why it took me
nearly an hour to solve,
392
00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:14,883
but in the end, I got there with this.
393
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:17,919
Arms & Noble. It's a gun library.Â
394
00:16:17,986 --> 00:16:20,622
See, American gun people
have made it pretty clear
395
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,091
that they don't want anyone
taking their guns.
396
00:16:23,158 --> 00:16:24,259
And who's going to try,
397
00:16:24,326 --> 00:16:28,030
since the risk of homicide is three times
higher in homes with firearms?
398
00:16:28,096 --> 00:16:31,967
I'm surely not going to stand in the way
of an American's constitutional right
399
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:34,169
to be accidentally shot by his Labrador.
400
00:16:34,603 --> 00:16:38,206
But how about if we just move the guns?
401
00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:41,243
Just move them to nearby libraries.
402
00:16:41,309 --> 00:16:42,511
It's still your gun.
403
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:45,113
You can go visit it any time you want to.
404
00:16:45,514 --> 00:16:50,485
Just like your nana, who, like your gun,
was placed in care for everyone's safety.
405
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,720
[laughter]
406
00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:55,724
A recent study showed
that only 44% of Americans
407
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,193
had visited a library
within the last 12 months.
408
00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:01,663
It is mostly just a place
for the homeless to masturbate now.
409
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:06,101
And that makes me very sad and turned on.
410
00:17:06,768 --> 00:17:08,270
-So...
-[laughter]
411
00:17:08,336 --> 00:17:10,872
...let's spice it up with guns.
412
00:17:10,939 --> 00:17:13,875
At Arms & Noble,
you can check out your gun,
413
00:17:13,942 --> 00:17:17,546
check out a book and, importantly,
consider the consequences of murder
414
00:17:17,612 --> 00:17:20,449
during the cool down period
that it takes to drive there.
415
00:17:20,849 --> 00:17:25,253
Look how happy your visit to Arms & Noble
has made Edna,
416
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,756
our reinvigorated librarian,
417
00:17:27,823 --> 00:17:30,492
outfitted in the latest Kevlar body armor.
418
00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:31,693
[laughter]
419
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:36,198
Hey, hit me with your worst stuff,
bitches!
420
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,732
[laughter]
421
00:17:37,799 --> 00:17:40,068
[applause]
422
00:17:43,505 --> 00:17:46,241
See? She lives for this shit.
423
00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:50,112
Gun control and literacy solved.
Two for the price of one.
424
00:17:50,178 --> 00:17:51,313
You're welcome.
425
00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:52,714
Thanks, Edna.
426
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,983
[cheering and applause]
427
00:17:56,585 --> 00:18:00,021
Right, for any kids watching,
a library is... How to explain?
428
00:18:00,088 --> 00:18:03,024
It's sort of like Amazon,
but a physical, actual place...
429
00:18:03,391 --> 00:18:04,960
where you can visit all the books.
430
00:18:06,061 --> 00:18:08,063
Clayton, what do you like about this idea?
431
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,564
First of all, the cool-down period.
432
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:12,367
'Cause you've got to drive to the library,
then you get there,
433
00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:15,036
then you've got to figure out
how to use the Dewey Decimal System
434
00:18:15,103 --> 00:18:16,338
just to find your gun.
435
00:18:16,404 --> 00:18:19,341
By the time you find your gun,
you're not even mad no more.
436
00:18:19,407 --> 00:18:22,210
-You're just going to leave.
-[laughter]
437
00:18:22,277 --> 00:18:24,479
Okay, so who are going to be
the librarians?
438
00:18:24,546 --> 00:18:27,916
Anyone who is highly trained
in books and guns.
439
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:28,850
[laughter]
440
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,887
I mean, you see how they are
on being quiet.
441
00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:33,121
[laughter]
442
00:18:33,188 --> 00:18:35,724
Just imagine... Give them a pistol and...
443
00:18:35,790 --> 00:18:38,293
"I said... [gun cocking noise] quiet."
444
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,628
It's a safe space.
445
00:18:39,694 --> 00:18:41,029
[laughter]
446
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:43,465
DL, what do you think?
Would you visit the gun library?
447
00:18:43,532 --> 00:18:45,534
I would. But if, you know...
448
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,271
Libraries in black neighborhoods
are really... The books are really old,
449
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:52,007
so it would probably be muskets and shit
in there, but...
450
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:56,511
I think the library thing can work
if you can check out a gun at a library,
451
00:18:56,578 --> 00:19:00,982
but you can only get bullets
at the college that you graduated from.
452
00:19:01,716 --> 00:19:04,252
[laughter, applause]
453
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,455
Well let's hear it for Arms & Noble.
454
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:08,557
[cheering]
455
00:19:08,623 --> 00:19:11,059
[Carr] It's a great idea. Very well.
456
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:14,062
Okay, DL and Sarah,
it's time to hear your fix.
457
00:19:14,129 --> 00:19:15,397
Give it up for DL Hughley!
458
00:19:15,463 --> 00:19:17,199
[cheering and applause]
459
00:19:17,265 --> 00:19:18,233
Thank you.
460
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,136
Of course,
one of the biggest problems with guns
461
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:25,607
is that 1.5% of Americans
have so much sway over our gun laws.
462
00:19:25,674 --> 00:19:28,210
That 1.5% is the NRA.
463
00:19:28,276 --> 00:19:31,846
You remember that old saying that goes,
"If you can't beat them, join them"?
464
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,816
What if we join them to beat them?
465
00:19:35,283 --> 00:19:36,284
That is our fix.
466
00:19:36,351 --> 00:19:38,186
Everyone joins the NRA.
467
00:19:38,253 --> 00:19:41,122
When I say everyone, I mean everyone.
468
00:19:41,189 --> 00:19:44,359
Democrats, teachers, nuns.
Even you, RuPaul.
469
00:19:44,426 --> 00:19:45,594
[laughter]
470
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:48,063
Now you've got two bulges to hide
instead of just one.
471
00:19:48,129 --> 00:19:49,197
[laughter]
472
00:19:49,264 --> 00:19:50,999
How do we do this? It's simple.
473
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:54,469
Convince a liberal rich dude
to finance new NRA memberships
474
00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:57,739
for people who would normally
not be interested in joining the NRA.
475
00:19:57,806 --> 00:20:01,509
Oprah, make the NRA membership
one of your favorite things this year.
476
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:04,713
"You get a rifle, and you get a rifle,
and you get a rifle."
477
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:09,584
Then once we've effectively hit the NRA
with its worst nightmare, diversity...
478
00:20:09,951 --> 00:20:12,487
[audience gasps, laughter, applause]
479
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,394
...these new members
will help elect NRA leaders
480
00:20:19,461 --> 00:20:22,364
who will actually fight
for sensible gun control.
481
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,099
Problem solved. See for yourself.
482
00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:27,335
I joined the NRA to exercise
483
00:20:27,402 --> 00:20:30,772
my Second Amendment right
to protect my family,
484
00:20:30,839 --> 00:20:34,175
protect my country, and protect my God.
485
00:20:34,242 --> 00:20:38,446
Yeah, I said it. You go ahead and try
to shoot God. I'll shoot you first!
486
00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:41,683
[man] Sorry, Dale,
but the NRA has a new face.
487
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:44,185
I joined the NRA because I have kids
488
00:20:44,252 --> 00:20:46,254
and that first guy
scares the hell out of me.
489
00:20:46,321 --> 00:20:48,323
I mean, does he think
someone's trying to shoot God?
490
00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:49,791
How would that even work?
491
00:20:49,858 --> 00:20:52,093
[man] We're taking in new members
from all walks of life
492
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,862
to unite for one purpose.
493
00:20:54,729 --> 00:20:57,532
To bring it down from the inside.
494
00:20:57,599 --> 00:20:58,867
Wait, what?
495
00:20:58,933 --> 00:21:00,602
We won't stop signing up new members
496
00:21:00,669 --> 00:21:04,439
until the NRA is full of mossy-toothed,
peace-loving, Obama-voting,
497
00:21:04,506 --> 00:21:07,676
abortion-getting,
Black-Lives-Matter-supporting snowflakes.
498
00:21:08,076 --> 00:21:11,379
I joined the NRA ironically.
It's so stupid.
499
00:21:11,446 --> 00:21:12,714
What the fuck?
500
00:21:12,781 --> 00:21:14,916
And then we'll elect an NRA president
501
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,718
that reflects our new values.
502
00:21:17,352 --> 00:21:18,453
Lena Dunham.
503
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,021
This is unfair!
504
00:21:20,088 --> 00:21:21,756
I'm being bullied!
505
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,758
I need a safe space!
506
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,327
The new NRA.
507
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,996
We're cool with black people now.
508
00:21:28,063 --> 00:21:30,799
I joined the NRA, because...
509
00:21:31,533 --> 00:21:33,868
Because have you seen people in the NRA?
510
00:21:33,935 --> 00:21:37,605
[cheering and applause]
511
00:21:42,811 --> 00:21:45,213
A genuinely brilliant idea.
Sarah, what do you like about that?
512
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,516
I love it. I think you have
to take it down from the inside.
513
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:51,419
It's how our aunts ruined Facebook,
you know?
514
00:21:51,486 --> 00:21:53,154
[laughter]
515
00:21:53,221 --> 00:21:56,624
Like, we were all on it,
everybody was all gung-ho,
516
00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:58,226
and then everybody started doing it
517
00:21:58,293 --> 00:22:00,595
and then you're like,
"Well, this is no fun anymore."
518
00:22:00,662 --> 00:22:02,397
That's what I think will happen.
519
00:22:02,464 --> 00:22:06,034
I love it. It'd change the NRA
fundamentally, right, so...
520
00:22:06,101 --> 00:22:08,903
They got nervous
when black people had NWA, so...
521
00:22:08,970 --> 00:22:11,005
[laughter]
522
00:22:11,072 --> 00:22:14,809
The thought of a lot of black people
with a lot of guns might be a deterrent.
523
00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:16,544
Katherine, what do you make of this?
524
00:22:16,611 --> 00:22:18,513
I think it's an incredible idea.
525
00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:19,914
I definitely want to join.
526
00:22:19,981 --> 00:22:22,016
And if you have any trouble
getting people to join,
527
00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:24,252
just explain to them
that there's a financial interest
528
00:22:24,319 --> 00:22:25,987
by corporations who manufacture guns
529
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:29,290
and governments who sell weapons abroad
to keep the industry up
530
00:22:29,357 --> 00:22:32,894
or trick them
by selling them the idea of liberty
531
00:22:32,961 --> 00:22:35,630
and then they'll want a gun.
Isn't that what's happening now?
532
00:22:35,697 --> 00:22:38,199
[applause]
533
00:22:38,266 --> 00:22:40,769
Clayton, would you join the new NRA?
534
00:22:41,035 --> 00:22:42,570
-No.
-[Katherine gasps]
535
00:22:42,637 --> 00:22:44,105
-I wouldn't.
-Why not?
536
00:22:44,172 --> 00:22:46,808
Because I know...
I know what they're going to do.
537
00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:50,545
White people, when black people move in,
they move out.
538
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:54,416
So if they got the NRA,
they would turn into the RAN
539
00:22:54,482 --> 00:22:55,784
and leave.
540
00:22:55,850 --> 00:22:59,754
They'd have a whole other group
and then we'd have to deal with the RAN.
541
00:23:00,288 --> 00:23:02,056
Racist Ass... Never mind.
542
00:23:02,123 --> 00:23:04,993
[laughter and applause]
543
00:23:05,059 --> 00:23:07,429
Well, let's hear it
for everyone joining the NRA!
544
00:23:07,495 --> 00:23:10,298
[cheering and applause]
545
00:23:14,002 --> 00:23:15,904
Okay, we've got Katherine and Clayton
546
00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:18,473
proposing a library for guns,
Arms & Noble,
547
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:21,342
and Sarah and DL suggesting
we all join the NRA,
548
00:23:21,409 --> 00:23:24,112
which is the first time a black man
has ever said that.
549
00:23:24,179 --> 00:23:26,014
[laughter]
550
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,248
On The Fix, we're a democracy,
551
00:23:27,315 --> 00:23:29,717
so our audience will be deciding
which one of these fixes
552
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:30,852
to put into practice.
553
00:23:30,919 --> 00:23:33,388
Audience, please vote now
for your favorites.
554
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:35,089
[suspenseful synth music]
555
00:23:35,156 --> 00:23:37,425
And remember, because this is Netflix,
556
00:23:37,492 --> 00:23:39,360
whatever you decide becomes law.
557
00:23:39,427 --> 00:23:41,429
[laughter]
558
00:23:41,496 --> 00:23:43,298
Okay, I can tell you the votes are in
559
00:23:43,364 --> 00:23:44,899
and I can reveal the winner is...
560
00:23:44,966 --> 00:23:47,202
DL with 67% of the votes!
561
00:23:47,268 --> 00:23:49,737
Congratulations, DL and Sarah.
562
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,140
So that's it. Guns, solved.
563
00:23:52,207 --> 00:23:54,242
How to celebrate? Pra-pra.
564
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,710
[laughter]
565
00:23:55,777 --> 00:23:59,514
Thanks to Katherine Ryan, Clayton English,
DL Hughley and Sarah Tiana,
566
00:23:59,581 --> 00:24:01,850
our brilliant data expert, Mona Chalabi,
567
00:24:01,916 --> 00:24:03,918
everyone in the studio,
and all of you for watching.
568
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:06,287
We'll see you next time
to fix more of the world's problems.
569
00:24:06,354 --> 00:24:07,622
-Goodbye!
-[audience cheering]
570
00:24:07,689 --> 00:24:09,691
[theme song playing]