1 00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:04,825 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,964 I need you to go to a meeting for me. 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,047 A client meeting? 4 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,435 Kind of. Not really. 5 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:10,787 I got a DUI last month. 6 00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:13,096 I need you to go to this Sober 7 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,153 Friends meeting and pretend to be me. 8 00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:16,449 Do you mind if I sit in? 9 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,064 Who wants to sponsor Tom? 10 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,495 Fuck it. I'll do it. 11 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,371 You sure, Cutter? You think you're ready 12 00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:22,672 after what happened to Ollie? 13 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,288 Looking forward to diving in, seeing-- 14 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,068 [SCREAMING]CUTTER: You feel that? 15 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,983 That's the grip this thing's got on you, man. 16 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,288 See you, Tom. 17 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:30,293 Why'd you take my records 18 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,514 and my record player? 19 00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:33,123 SAM: She went into Rhino Vinyl. 20 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,563 This is what she walked out with. 21 00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:36,299 So she has shitty taste in music. 22 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,690 So what? It's not her fault. Most beautiful women do. 23 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,824 I'm getting a different sponsor. 24 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,386 I do appreciate everything you've done for me. 25 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:44,914 [GRUNTS SOFTLY] 26 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,841 Do you realize, as I'm standing here, 27 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,491 the Earth is spinning on its axis 28 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:58,925 a thousand miles an hour? 29 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,711 Like, if I was God spinning a basketball. 30 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,016 A thousand miles an hour. 31 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,502 And at the same time it's doing that, 32 00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,371 the Earth is going in orbit around the sun 33 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,763 at guess what rate of speed? 34 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,585 Sixty-six thousand miles an hour. 35 00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:10,943 66,000 miles an hour, a thousand miles an hour. 36 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,033 And on top of that, the whole solar system's 37 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,473 going through the Milky Way galaxy 38 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:15,859 at guess what rate of speed? 39 00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,901 Four hundred thousand miles an hour. 40 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,167 400,000 miles an hour, 66,000 miles an hour, 41 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,560 and a thousand miles an hour. 42 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,473 To top it all off, as that's happening, 43 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,038 the whole Milky Way galaxy is tearing through the universe 44 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:30,126 at guess what rate of speed? 2.2 million miles an hour. 45 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:33,267 And that, officer, is why I failed to walk a straight line 46 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,530 as you requested a few moments ago. 47 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,878 Hey, what--? Aw. 48 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,804 [♪♪♪] 49 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,666 What the hell are you doing? 50 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,756 I'm asking myself the same thing. 51 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,285 I don't know what's more disturbing, 52 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,808 that you got a beer in your hand 53 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,201 or you're stroking your cucumber 54 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:55,684 to some soft-core make out porn. 55 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,294 And not even having a hard-on. 56 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,474 [WOMAN MOANING ON TV]I had a hard-on. 57 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,770 What happened to good old gold-chip Donny? 58 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,987 Looks like he's doing a top-notch job. 59 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,686 Come on. Let's get him on the blower ASAP, 60 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:07,685 tell him you had a slip. 61 00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:08,686 No. It's late. 62 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:09,867 I'll call him tomorrow. 63 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,172 We might not have a tomorrow 64 00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:13,048 if we don't get this under control now. 65 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,829 [SIGHS] 66 00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:17,964 [TAPS PHONE][PHONE RINGING] 67 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,322 Oh, darn. He's not picking up. 68 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:27,762 Yeah? Well, that's top-notch sponsoring. 69 00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,449 If I ever meet this Donny guy, I'm gonna choke him out. 70 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,278 [ON VOICE MAIL] You've reached Donny. Leave a message. 71 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,756 I got his voicemail, so I'm gonna-- 72 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,285 Hey, shithead. 73 00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,029 While you're out doing God knows what, 74 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,769 your sponsee's sucking back beers 75 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:41,120 like Bukowski at the Golden Goose happy hour. 76 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,031 I had one beer.You're a goddamn gold chip. 77 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:46,036 Get on the ball, man. You know how this goes. 78 00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,208 You're better than this! 79 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,174 [PHONE BEEPS] 80 00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:55,224 What are you doing? 81 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,792 I'm waiting for him to call back. 82 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,088 I'm giving him 10 minutes. 83 00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,534 After that, he's officially fired, 84 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:00,660 and I'm back on the clock. 85 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:02,092 Ticktock. 86 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,918 I can't live like this. Heh. 87 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,316 I gotta lay the truth out. 88 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,879 They say it'll set you free. 89 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,146 I hope so. 90 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,189 Cutter, I'm not an alcoholic. 91 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,405 God. 92 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,414 [CHUCKLES] 93 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:15,365 That's funny. 94 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:17,944 You know how those homosexuals 95 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,900 have a thing they call "gaydar"? 96 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,458 Us drunks have something too. We call it "drunkdar." 97 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,676 It's not as clever as gaydar, but it works. 98 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:30,564 [IMITATING RADAR SCAN] 99 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,301 Alky. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. 100 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,782 Stop scanning me.I know an alky when I see one. 101 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,433 I can sense it. 102 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,437 It's like elephants who took to higher ground 103 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:39,569 before the tsunami. 104 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:40,960 No, no. I went to that meeting 105 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,353 for my boss. 106 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:43,956 If your boss thinks you have a problem, 107 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,176 he's probably right. 108 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,745 No, no, you don't understand. 109 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,271 My boss got the DUI, and he-- 110 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,265 Save it! 111 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,576 I've been in this business 112 00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,141 long enough to know the next word 113 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,838 that comes out of your mouth is gonna be a lie. 114 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,275 [SCOFFS] Fine. Okay. 115 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,193 You calling dependable Donny again? 116 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,328 No. I'm calling the police. 117 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,889 I tried to explain it to you, 118 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,286 but you won't listen to me. 119 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,509 I tried to ask you to leave nicely, 120 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,068 and you refused, so... 121 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,285 [PHONE RINGING] 122 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,864 WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Emergency. 123 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:09,950 Hi there.WOMAN: Problem? 124 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,248 Yes. I need your help. 125 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,304 A man, uh, climbed onto my balcony, 126 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,560 he entered my apartment and-- 127 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,562 There's no need to send anyone. 128 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,484 It's my ex-sponsee, and that's his disease talking. 129 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,650 [SCOFFS][GRUNTS] 130 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,696 You think that's gonna keep them from sending someone? 131 00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,612 Let 'em come. What do I care?Jesus. 132 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,087 If it takes me getting arrested 133 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,227 to prove myself to you, so be it. 134 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:33,754 Let me know when they get here. 135 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,405 Oh, I will. 136 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,500 Hey, you journal too? 137 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,850 It's a great way of freeing negative emotions. 138 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,890 It's not a journal. It's for work. 139 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,546 I didn't know you were in advertising. 140 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:48,811 Yep. 141 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,344 "Jumping Jack Crash"? 142 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,381 [LAUGHS] 143 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:57,506 You worked on this? 144 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,728 Yes. 145 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,557 Actually, I created the entire campaign. 146 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,606 You came up with Jumping Jack Crash? 147 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:07,924 Goddamn. 148 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,829 I fucking love that little rabbit. 149 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:12,014 Zzt! With that little lightning bolt on his head. 150 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,700 [LAUGHING] 151 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,007 That cracks me up every time. 152 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:21,579 Zzt! Man, I'm impressed. 153 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,975 Who knew you were funny? You don't seem funny to me. 154 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,889 Thanks. 155 00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:29,111 [LAUGHS] 156 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,334 You should probably go. The police are on their way. 157 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:34,640 Now, that's good shit. 158 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,691 [CHUCKLING] 159 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,948 [POLICE SIREN WAILING] 160 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:42,782 Woo! 161 00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:53,403 Pigs are here, Tommy. I'll handle it. Don't worry. 162 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,050 OFFICER: Sir. 163 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,363 We got a call about an intruder. 164 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:57,659 [♪♪♪] 165 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,045 Put your hands where we can see 'em. 166 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,408 CUTTER: One move, and I'll snap his neck. 167 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,893 OFFICER: On the ground, sir. Don't make me tase you. 168 00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:11,023 CUTTER: You couldn't tase your own dick, Diaz. 169 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,016 Stand down, Tennely. 170 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,458 [ALL LAUGHING] 171 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:17,551 CUTTER: How y'all doing? 172 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,164 OFFICER: Good, man. Long time, Cutter. 173 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,644 CUTTER: Good to see you, man. 174 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,124 Just don't worry about this guy, 175 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,864 He's a bit--OFFICER: Just helping him out. 176 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:24,985 Everything's good? 177 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,206 CUTTER: Everything's good. 178 00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,515 OFFICER: All right. 179 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,960 Wait, where are you going? 180 00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,739 Sorry you had to come out here for nothing. 181 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,834 For nothing? No, no, no. 182 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,273 This is not for nothing. 183 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,219 This is for something. 184 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:43,793 CUTTER: Be safe. 185 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,098 Wait, wait, wait! 186 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,803 I wanna file a complaint. 187 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,151 [PANTING] 188 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,060 That was Diaz and Tennely. 189 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,057 We go way back. 190 00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,538 Good guys. 191 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:57,028 You--? You know them?Know 'em? 192 00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,978 I trained those two dipshits. 193 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,290 I used to be a cop. Didn't I tell you? 194 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,864 No. 195 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:04,991 [WATCH BEEPING] 196 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,857 Yep. 10 minutes. 197 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,426 That makes it official. 198 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,953 Donny's done. 199 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:12,996 You're mine again. 200 00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,475 We're gonna start working them steps. 201 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,663 Come on.No. 202 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,399 [PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 203 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,490 WOMAN: I've got a latte for Jim over here. 204 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,320 [SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 205 00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,488 You want me to talk to him for you? 206 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,615 Hm? 207 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,927 Tell him to untuck his shirt 208 00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:33,503 because he looks like a fucking idiot? 209 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,190 No. 210 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,147 ♪ Taking the edge off of me 211 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,495 All right. 212 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,285 ♪ Is a necessity when 213 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:43,509 ♪ I'm singing these words That I no longer mean ♪ 214 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,470 [PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 215 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:48,729 Yeah, okay. 216 00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:49,992 Excuse me. Sir? 217 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,654 [CELL RINGING] 218 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,598 ♪ I am not a poet I'm a broken heart ♪ 219 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,557 Don't go anywhere. 220 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:56,555 Yeah? 221 00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:57,866 It's Tony. 222 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,392 SAM: Hey, Tony. 223 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,435 I got a DUI last night. 224 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,611 What are you calling me for? 225 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,046 'Cause I'm in county lockup. 226 00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,442 Why didn't you call your sponsor? 227 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,955 They took my phone 228 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,048 and I couldn't remember anybody's numbers. 229 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,657 You remember mine? Yeah. 230 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,187 Your numbers spell out "shitbag." 231 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,620 [SCOFFS] Really? 232 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,097 No, I just know your number. 233 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,536 Please, will you come get me? 234 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,893 All right. Where am I going? 235 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,322 I told you, County. 236 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,198 Fine. See you there. 237 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,199 [PHONE BEEPS] 238 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:29,331 [MOUTHS] Please. 239 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:30,548 Oh, shit. 240 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,472 No. I told you to wait. 241 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,783 You dodged a bullet, mom jeans. 242 00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:40,352 [♪♪♪] 243 00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:43,129 So Tony, what did you learn from your DUI? 244 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,957 Did you at least get some understanding 245 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,136 of why you drank last night? 246 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,401 I know exactly why. 247 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,493 My wife opened up my bottle 248 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,492 of Giuseppe Quintarelli 249 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,883 "Alzero" Cabernet Veneto. 250 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,835 Whoa, why do you have a bottle of wine? 251 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,974 I bought it for an investment. It's like art. 252 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,406 And all of a sudden, Karen decides 253 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:01,802 to open up to cook with it. 254 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,185 I'm telling you, I was upstairs, 255 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,668 and I could smell the hint of vanilla 256 00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:06,588 mixed with clove. 257 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,113 Mm. Little bit of cherry in there as well. 258 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:10,897 That sounds amazing. 259 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,291 You bet your ass it's amazing. 260 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,734 They age it in Slovakian oak barrels, 261 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,160 for fuck's sake. 262 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,206 Anyone ever see that film Sideways? 263 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:19,382 What a fucking great film that is. 264 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,868 It was like you were actually drinking it yourself. 265 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,609 Oh, man. I felt that way 266 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,130 when Chevy Chase drank the eggnog 267 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,614 in Christmas Vacation. 268 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,924 Oh, the one that got me was United 93. 269 00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:33,621 I couldn't take my eyes off those little Jameson bottles. 270 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,180 I had to walk out of the theater. 271 00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,266 Okay. It's enough romanticizing, all right? 272 00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,835 It's just fucking booze. 273 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:41,842 That's the thing that brought us all here. 274 00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:44,535 So your wife opens the bottle. Why you gotta drink it? 275 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,244 She poured half a cup into her spaghetti sauce 276 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,632 and then stuffed the cork back in. 277 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,065 What the fuck was I supposed to do? 278 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,631 That's a $400 bottle of wine. 279 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:54,158 Yeah, don't put this on your wife. All right? 280 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,862 You're responsible for keeping your side of the street clean. 281 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,640 But she lives on my side of the street, 282 00:09:58,685 --> 00:09:59,855 and she's messing it up. 283 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,173 No, cut the shit. 284 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,339 You're in charge of you. Not her. 285 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,735 That still doesn't explain why you got into your car. 286 00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,128 I was heading downtown to my wine locker 287 00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,783 to grab a bottle of Screaming Eagle. 288 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,047 Why? 289 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,309 Because it's the only wine 290 00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:14,881 that can follow up a Giuseppe Veneto. 291 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,618 Okay, you-- 292 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,309 [SIGHS] 293 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,266 You gotta get rid of that locker. 294 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,615 All right? You gotta sell it all. 295 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,934 Every single bottle. 296 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,410 You want me to liquidate my assets? 297 00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,839 Yeah. I want you to liquidate the liquids. 298 00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:29,107 Invest in yourself, you dumb fuck. 299 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,670 Or Alcoa, or mutual funds. 300 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,596 Hey, what are you doing? 301 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,653 It's not 1975. You can't smoke in here. 302 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,388 [CHUCKLES] My bad. 303 00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,780 I've been meaning to ask you 304 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,043 how things were going with your sponsee. 305 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:55,306 He's had a couple missteps.Oh, yeah? 306 00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,050 But I've been right there to catch him. 307 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,831 Good. 308 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,785 Feels good to be of service. 309 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,274 Yeah. 310 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:03,973 You know, I was this close 311 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,141 to picking up again before Tom showed up. 312 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,877 Shit, really? 313 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,320 Yeah, Tom's cry for help 314 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,015 really struck a chord in me. 315 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:14,942 I'm not talking no pussy minor chord. 316 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,678 I'm talking E major. 317 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,720 [IMITATES THE OPENING CHORDS OF "BABA O'RILEY"] 318 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:21,717 [LAUGHS] 319 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,158 Like Pete Townshend hits 320 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,904 at the beginning of "Teenage Wasteland." 321 00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:27,025 "Baba O'Riley." That's an F-major chord. 322 00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:29,207 Who gives a fuck what chord it is? 323 00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,393 Right. 324 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:31,728 Yeah, sorry. Sorry. 325 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,168 Look, I'm pouring my guts out here. 326 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,744 Mm-hm. Yeah. 327 00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,612 It's a great chord. 328 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,060 You know, when Ollie finally went south... 329 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,063 it was a rough road, man. 330 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,457 I remember. 331 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,760 But working with that newbie... 332 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,463 is finally taking me out of that dark place. 333 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,421 It's kind of like my-- 334 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,026 My pineal gland has decalcified, you know? 335 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,078 Sure. 336 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:15,263 Thank you. Thank you for that, man. 337 00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,259 Sure. You got it. Anytime. 338 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,871 Man, you hard on us, Loudermilk. 339 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,003 [SCOFFS] Well, some of you need it. 340 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,785 But you're doing good. You're on fire, man. 341 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,401 It's okay, man. But you-- 342 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:27,751 As hard as you are on us, 343 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,230 you're always harder on yourself. 344 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,230 You're actually on fire. 345 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,662 You need me for anything else? 346 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,448 No. No. Go. Go. Go. You're on fire. Go. 347 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,893 Okay, yeah, this ciggy is burning a hole in my pocket. 348 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:41,061 All right.All right. Good stuff, Cutter. 349 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,718 [♪♪♪] 350 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,332 You home? 351 00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,159 Hey. 352 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,554 Yes? 353 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,286 Uh, I just wanted to make sure 354 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,817 that Ben got you your records back. 355 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,562 They're all accounted for. 356 00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,652 Good, good, good. 357 00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:02,911 Um, are you gonna be listening to shitty music tonight? 358 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:05,386 Because I was hoping to get to bed early. 359 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,606 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 360 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:12,624 You know, your musical taste isn't so impeccable, either. 361 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,531 Well, I never said it was impeccable. 362 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:18,276 Spin Doctors, Pocket Full Of Kryptonite.Five stars. 363 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,839 Remember, when I wrote that review, 364 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,276 the videos had not come out yet. 365 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,852 You said they were the next Grateful Dead. 366 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,499 Well, it's a rock-solid album, 367 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:25,852 and I stand by the review. 368 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:26,852 I didn't tell the guy 369 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,243 to wear the freaking hat. 370 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,675 He looked like a Peruvian sheep herder. 371 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:34,292 Odelayby Beck. One and a half stars. Really? 372 00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,855 That was personal. 373 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,122 Yet you gushed over Limp Bizkit.All right. 374 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:40,245 I was drinking and drugging pretty heavy 375 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,907 when Chocolate Starfish 376 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,741 and the Hot Dog Flavored Watercame out. 377 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,609 I gotta admit... 378 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,830 that shit sounds pretty good on blow. 379 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,830 Mixed with tequila and wine. 380 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,092 On an empty stomach. 381 00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:55,097 Okay, fine. You got me. You got me. 382 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:58,008 I just-- I didn't come here to argue music with you. 383 00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,754 I just-- 384 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:02,885 You know, I just wanted to make things, uh... 385 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,889 You mean, like, apologize? 386 00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:08,282 Whatever you wanna call it. I don't know. 387 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:11,285 Um, I didn't mean to go off on you the other day. 388 00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,368 That's-that's all. 389 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,117 Okay. 390 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,678 I will accept your apology, 391 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,725 but you need to learn not to get so worked up 392 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,900 over something as trivial as music. 393 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,207 Okay, fuck it. 394 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,214 [SIGHS] 395 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,905 Hey. 396 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,353 Now I was kidding. 397 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:29,909 Oh. 398 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,256 Oh, okay. 399 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,695 Oh. Uh... 400 00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:36,052 So, you and I are good? 401 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,662 Yeah. 402 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,014 [♪♪♪] 403 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,110 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES] 404 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,766 [MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY OVER HEADPHONES] 405 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,329 Hey. Hey. Hey. 406 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,026 Closed.No, no. It's me. It's me, Tom. 407 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,165 Tom. Tom from group. 408 00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,221 What are you doin' here?I need to talk to you. 409 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:13,519 Well, that's what group's for. 410 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:14,834 No, I need to talk to you 411 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,180 without Cutter around. 412 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,349 Look, you can't just show up 413 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:18,874 a-at somebody's workplace. 414 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,618 Yeah. Tell that to Cutter. 415 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:21,918 Please. 416 00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:25,397 All right.Thank you. 417 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,616 Okay. Be honest with me. 418 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,486 [STUTTERS] Am I in danger? 419 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,278 What are you talking about? 420 00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:34,592 Just level with me. Is Cutter insane? 421 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,849 Is he bipolar? Does he have PTSD? 422 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:37,982 What happened to Ollie? 423 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,424 Okay. All right. Calm down. 424 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,160 Are you high? 425 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:44,201 No. I'm-- I'm not high.Okay. All right. Go sit down. 426 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,077 Okay. Um... 427 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:50,119 Are you 100 percent sure Cutter did not kill Ollie? 428 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,256 Yes. I am. 429 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,999 Cutter did not kill Ollie. 430 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,480 Okay, because he's weird. 431 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,039 You should see him when he sleeps. 432 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,256 He stabs at the air, and he shrieks 433 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,786 like a fisher cat.When did you see Cutter asleep? 434 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,660 He sleeps on the floor next to my bed. 435 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:05,972 Why? 436 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,708 I don't know why. 437 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,229 All right. Look. 438 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:13,713 I can tell you that Cutter's 99 percent harmless, okay? 439 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,665 But the thing is that he does give a shit. 440 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,593 He really, really, really wants you to be sober. 441 00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,539 Okay, but I didn't sign up for this. 442 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,808 [LAUGHS] No. You were court-ordered. 443 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,811 Why can't you be my sponsor? 444 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,553 No. You got a sponsor. I think this is good for Cutter. 445 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:31,115 Good for Cutter? I thought this was supposed to be about me. 446 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,694 See, that's your problem, Tom. 447 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,430 Right there. It's not all about you. 448 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,601 Okay? As soon as you get your head around that 449 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,687 you're gonna start to get a handle on your disease. 450 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,556 I-- Listen I get what you're saying-- 451 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,698 Pork-snout.Aah-aah-aah. 452 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,660 Come on, we gotta go.How'd he know you're here? 453 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:46,309 He drove me here.Louder looks busy. 454 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,443 What?His time's up, okay? 455 00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:48,884 I-I told him I was-- 456 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,710 I had to give you my cousin's band's CD 457 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,748 that they actually do want you to listen to it, 458 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,194 and it-- It's good. 459 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,540 CUTTER: Everything all right? 460 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:56,579 TOM: Everything's cool. 461 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,894 Everything's so copacetic. 462 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,850 Motherfucker. 463 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,410 He's a fucking cop? Jesus Christ, man. 464 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:05,888 Yeah, he used to be. 465 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,807 He probably failed his psych evaluation. 466 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,122 We need to make sure he doesn't find out about us 467 00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,859 or we could be big-time screwed, okay? 468 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,731 We could get jail time for this. 469 00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:16,602 How am I gonna get you promoted from jail? 470 00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,994 No. "Jail"? W-w-what do you mean, "jail"? 471 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,648 Duh! 472 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:21,911 It's a felony. 473 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,393 You filling in for my third DUI? 474 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,263 Third DUI? You didn't tell me it was your third. 475 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,696 Come on. You think they can send me 476 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,142 to 30 meetings for one DUI? 477 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:30,788 Get your head on straight. 478 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,962 I can't believe how much you fucked this up. 479 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,838 You know, you need to start 480 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,189 taking some responsibility for your actions, Kevin. 481 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,320 Maybe you shouldn't get all these DUIs. 482 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,622 Enough with the mumbo jumbo. 483 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:41,888 You've been to too many meetings. 484 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,720 No shit.Calm down. 485 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:48,759 [SIGHS] Okay. The good news is look what came in today. 486 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:49,886 [SCOFFS] 487 00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,864 This is your new client. 488 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,207 Voluptuous. 489 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:00,732 Okay? 490 00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,947 You want to get to know her. You want to get to love her. 491 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,167 Because you, baby, 492 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,126 are taking the reins on this one. 493 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,735 Wait, really? I have the reins? 494 00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,346 That's right. It's all you. 495 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,916 This is your Jumping Jack Crash. 496 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:20,014 Jumping Jack Crash ismy Jumping Jack Crash. 497 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,485 Yeah, well, right. 498 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,535 Now they won't fuck you out of the recognition. 499 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,150 "They?" That was you. 500 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,411 Okay, now you're just splitting hairs. 501 00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,241 Ooh. 502 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,458 [SNIFFS]Uh-- 503 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,895 Oh, that's not bad. 504 00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:42,985 That is not bad. Here. 505 00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,654 Take a sip. 506 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,339 No, it's a little early for vodka. 507 00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:48,817 Jesus, just take a sip. 508 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,036 It is your job to know what we're selling. 509 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,346 Okay. 510 00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:00,180 Uh... The peach is nice. It's kind of 511 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,526 brunch-y.Yeah. 512 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,445 WOMAN: Johnson, line two. 513 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,667 [WHISPERS] Hey. 514 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:12,374 No. What are you doing here? 515 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,372 You can't just show up at my office like this. 516 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,895 I'm just checking in. Plus, I brought you a lunch. 517 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,029 Oh, thank you.I made it myself. 518 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,031 Thank you. 519 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:25,292 A cubicle? 520 00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,768 Uh...Man, I pictured you 521 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,297 for kind of a corner-office kind of a guy. 522 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,652 After all, you came up with Jumping Jack Crash. 523 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,522 Yeah. Yeah.Man, that lightning bolt 524 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,223 is a piece of Americana. 525 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,351 Did the San Diego Chargers ever try to sue? 526 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:40,003 No, they didn't, and I will have an office soon 527 00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:41,398 but not if I sit around 528 00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:43,011 chatting with people all day, so-- 529 00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:44,491 All right, all right, I get it. 530 00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,491 I get it, I'll be out of your... 531 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,284 Hey, what's this? 532 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,796 Oh, that's my new client. 533 00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,854 It's 40 percent alcohol. 534 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,460 You sure it's a smart idea having this on your desk? 535 00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:01,111 I work at an ad agency. 536 00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,416 I'm confiscating this. 537 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:06,033 You're not strong enough to deal with this kind of temptation. 538 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:06,994 [SIGHS] It-- 539 00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:12,205 Hell, it's got tits and ass and booze inside. 540 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,524 You-- 541 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,780 You know, my mouth's watering 542 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,652 just looking at this thing 543 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,393 and I've got five years clean. 544 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,044 Listen, it's work, okay? 545 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,308 I'm not drinking the stuff. 546 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:22,700 CUTTER: Okay. 547 00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,881 I'm gonna need you to blow in this. 548 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,661 I'm not blowing in that thing. 549 00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:29,655 Yeah, you are. 550 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:34,837 [BEEPS ONCE] 551 00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:35,925 Come on. 552 00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:37,713 [BLOWS] 553 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:40,238 Blow like it's Betty White's 95th birthday cake. 554 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:45,159 [BEEPS TWICE] 555 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,640 [PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 556 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,900 Son of bitch, Tom. It's 11 a.m. 557 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,643 Oh, no, no, no. Uh-- 558 00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:53,034 [SIGHS] My boss asked me to sample some product. 559 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,377 I had a tiny sip. 560 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:56,077 It's not a--You don't get it, man. 561 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,694 [GULPS THEN SIGHS] 562 00:20:57,734 --> 00:20:59,304 A sip is a slip. 563 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:00,775 That's all it takes. 564 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:03,314 If I had just one sip, I'd be off and running. 565 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:04,609 Okay. 566 00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,566 You know, I'm starting to seriously question 567 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:11,965 this work environment here.My work environment is fine. 568 00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,179 No. 569 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,528 Wait. Wait. 570 00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,277 Cutter? Cutter. Where are you--? 571 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:17,318 Where are you going? 572 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,763 Cutter? 573 00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:23,244 Cutter, where--? Cutter, where are you going? 574 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,982 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 575 00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:26,722 [IMITATES HONK]Please get down. 576 00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:28,773 Listen up. I've got an announcement to make. 577 00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:31,069 Please, get down.Down. Over there, now. 578 00:21:31,115 --> 00:21:32,935 Now.Please get down. 579 00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:35,077 I'm sorry to interrupt. 580 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,639 My name's Tracy Cutter, and I'm an alcoholic. 581 00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:40,257 I'm also this brave young man's sponsor. 582 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:45,259 [SIGHS THEN CHUCKLES] I don't know who hired this guy, but it's not funny, people. 583 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,834 It's no joke. 584 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,390 I'm blowing Tom's cover 585 00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,607 because we're dealing with some serious shit here, 586 00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,527 and my man's gonna need your help. 587 00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:55,312 Dealing with alcoholism isn't easy, 588 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,787 but with your love and support, Tom can get through this. 589 00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,968 That's why, by the power vested in me 590 00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:01,544 as Tom's Sober Friends sponsor, 591 00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:02,841 I'm giving you permission 592 00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:04,366 to check his breath every morning. 593 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,240 I'm leaving this here. 594 00:22:06,281 --> 00:22:09,461 It's an S-D5 police-issue Breathalyzer. 595 00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:12,202 Self-cleaning, standard stuff. 596 00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:14,123 Have Tom blow on this for 10 seconds 597 00:22:14,158 --> 00:22:15,808 while you hold down this button. 598 00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:17,376 [BEEPS] 599 00:22:17,423 --> 00:22:18,733 Remember, the Breathalyzer 600 00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:20,212 doesn't check for benzos or opiates. 601 00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:21,641 Ah--So feel free to check 602 00:22:21,688 --> 00:22:24,078 his coat pockets and desk drawers. 603 00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,735 But be careful while poking around. 604 00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:27,349 You might find a dirty needle in there. 605 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:28,649 No. 606 00:22:28,695 --> 00:22:29,995 Remember, you're dealing with a man 607 00:22:30,044 --> 00:22:31,134 who sold his family dog 608 00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:32,735 to the Viet Cong for heroin. 609 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:35,566 WOMAN: Oh, my God!CUTTER: That's right. 610 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,005 He might as well put the damn thing 611 00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:39,141 on the grill himself.I just-- 612 00:22:39,183 --> 00:22:41,013 But hold your head up high, Tom. 613 00:22:41,055 --> 00:22:42,835 I think everybody in this room 614 00:22:42,883 --> 00:22:44,623 has battled with some form of addiction, 615 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,797 be it caffeine, 616 00:22:46,843 --> 00:22:48,243 food, 617 00:22:48,279 --> 00:22:51,369 video games, and/or masturbation. 618 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:54,113 Whatever it is, communication is the key, right? 619 00:22:54,155 --> 00:22:55,455 MAN: Awkward. 620 00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:56,984 Maybe just cut back on those desserts. 621 00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:58,507 [SCOFFS] 622 00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:00,251 Anyways... 623 00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:02,251 there's a saying I recently heard: 624 00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:03,693 [♪♪♪] 625 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,690 "It takes a village..." 626 00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:08,822 You all-- 627 00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:10,775 You all are that village 628 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:13,654 and Tom here is the village drunk who needs your help. 629 00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:14,916 MAN: We'll help you, bud. 630 00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:16,658 WOMAN: You can count on us, Tom. 631 00:23:16,699 --> 00:23:18,829 Why would you do something like that? 632 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,005 They could fire me. 633 00:23:20,050 --> 00:23:21,050 No, they can't. 634 00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:22,175 That's discrimination. 635 00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:23,576 We'd sue their asses. 636 00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:25,009 For what? 637 00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:27,055 Addicts are a protected class, Tom. 638 00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:28,971 You're not protected like a transsexual, 639 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:31,446 but you're way ahead of a black guy. 640 00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:34,057 As an ex-cop, I should know. 641 00:23:34,108 --> 00:23:36,458 Okay, but I don't want it to get to that-- 642 00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:39,112 KEVIN: But Thomas Jefferson doesn't wanna sign 643 00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:40,506 the whole thing over again 644 00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:43,809 until Hancock gets to use the Cross pen. 645 00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:45,857 I like it, kid. Keep them coming. 646 00:23:45,902 --> 00:23:48,562 That was my thinking, actually.REARDON: Mr. Cutter. 647 00:23:48,601 --> 00:23:50,781 That was quite a show you put on there. 648 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,870 I'm sorry for the distraction, sir. I-- 649 00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:55,609 Don't apologize, Tom. I have a brother in the program 650 00:23:55,651 --> 00:23:58,441 and it's great you're trying to get a grip on this thing. 651 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,700 I want you to know that we're all here for you. 652 00:24:00,743 --> 00:24:02,313 Thank you, sir. 653 00:24:02,353 --> 00:24:04,703 But the second I think you're on that shit, 654 00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,747 we're gonna have problems. Understood? 655 00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:09,013 Boom. Don't leave me hanging. 656 00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:11,539 See, that's the kind 657 00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:12,970 of tough love my man needs. 658 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,320 Here, put your digits in there, chief. 659 00:24:16,367 --> 00:24:17,977 If there's a problem, I'll let you know. 660 00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:19,461 Come on. 661 00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,370 I'll try not to call after midnight. 662 00:24:23,418 --> 00:24:25,198 Unless it's life or death. 663 00:24:27,683 --> 00:24:28,903 Thank you. 664 00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:32,245 So the Declaration of Independence. 665 00:24:32,296 --> 00:24:34,036 The founding fathers.SAM: Okay. 666 00:24:34,081 --> 00:24:35,821 So, you gotta know what your triggers are. 667 00:24:35,865 --> 00:24:37,515 [♪♪♪] 668 00:24:37,563 --> 00:24:38,563 All right? 669 00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:40,127 So Tony... 670 00:24:40,174 --> 00:24:43,004 for you, having very expensive bottles of art, 671 00:24:43,046 --> 00:24:44,476 that's a trigger. 672 00:24:45,571 --> 00:24:46,921 Yeah, that would definitely 673 00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:48,233 be a trigger for me. 674 00:24:48,269 --> 00:24:49,529 I love wine. 675 00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:51,355 I used to start every morning 676 00:24:51,402 --> 00:24:52,752 with a box of Franzia. 677 00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,005 Don't you dare call that wine. 678 00:24:54,057 --> 00:24:55,227 That's shit. 679 00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:56,756 I'm in high school, douchebag. 680 00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:58,579 Okay, all right. The point is 681 00:24:58,627 --> 00:25:00,277 you gotta identify your triggers 682 00:25:00,324 --> 00:25:03,074 and then keep your fingers far away from them, right? 683 00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,550 What are your triggers, Loudermilk? 684 00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:07,851 Uh, I would say... 685 00:25:07,897 --> 00:25:10,807 middle-aged men who tuck their shirts into mom jeans. 686 00:25:10,857 --> 00:25:12,417 [ALL CHUCKLE] 687 00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:16,167 I'd like a serious answer from you. 688 00:25:16,210 --> 00:25:18,300 We're gonna focus on the group here right now. 689 00:25:18,342 --> 00:25:19,652 You're a part of the group. 690 00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:21,082 Yeah, how do you expect us 691 00:25:21,128 --> 00:25:22,478 to open up if you can't, Loudermilk? 692 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:23,781 You're Mr. Perfect, 693 00:25:23,826 --> 00:25:25,256 but you wanna hear our dirty laundry. 694 00:25:25,306 --> 00:25:27,396 No, I'm not-- I'm not Mr. Perfect. 695 00:25:27,438 --> 00:25:29,308 He was being facetious. 696 00:25:29,353 --> 00:25:30,883 Come on, Loudermilk. It's your turn. 697 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,180 Open the fuck up. 698 00:25:34,097 --> 00:25:35,137 All right. 699 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:37,620 Fine. Okay. 700 00:25:39,668 --> 00:25:41,708 Uh... 701 00:25:41,757 --> 00:25:43,797 My ex-wife. 702 00:25:43,846 --> 00:25:45,146 I would say that when I-- 703 00:25:45,195 --> 00:25:47,715 When I think about my ex-wife, and... 704 00:25:47,763 --> 00:25:49,683 what went wrong there, I, uh... 705 00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:53,548 Makes me wanna-- Makes me wanna drink. 706 00:25:57,643 --> 00:25:59,993 What did go wrong? 707 00:26:00,036 --> 00:26:01,296 STEVIE: Hey, fuck that. 708 00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:02,602 You want him to relapse here? 709 00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:03,998 He said thinking about his wife 710 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,300 makes him wanna drink. 711 00:26:05,346 --> 00:26:06,996 No, no, Mugsy's right. 712 00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:09,613 Airing it all out can only make things better. 713 00:26:09,655 --> 00:26:10,825 CISCO: That's right. 714 00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:12,613 She doesn't pay rent in his head. 715 00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:14,788 You gotta get it out. 716 00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:16,144 What was she like? 717 00:26:16,183 --> 00:26:17,923 Yeah, is she hot? I bet she's hot. 718 00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:20,357 Not cool, man. 719 00:26:20,404 --> 00:26:21,364 She's dead. 720 00:26:21,405 --> 00:26:22,615 Oh. 721 00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:24,148 What?What are you talking about? 722 00:26:24,191 --> 00:26:25,801 She's not dead. 723 00:26:25,845 --> 00:26:27,925 I never said she was dead.What--? 724 00:26:27,977 --> 00:26:30,277 You said you hit into a tree, and she died. 725 00:26:30,327 --> 00:26:32,197 No, I didn't. 726 00:26:32,242 --> 00:26:34,902 I said that I was fine, and she wasn't. 727 00:26:34,941 --> 00:26:37,641 Which she wasn't. She was really messed up. 728 00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:39,423 But so... 729 00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:41,637 sh-she didn't die? 730 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:43,507 No. She came close. 731 00:26:43,558 --> 00:26:45,208 Lost a leg. 732 00:26:45,255 --> 00:26:46,865 She pulled through. 733 00:26:46,909 --> 00:26:49,429 Lives in Nashville now. 734 00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:51,517 Okay? So there. I opened up. 735 00:26:51,566 --> 00:26:53,736 All right? Can we change the topic now? 736 00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:55,306 No, you're all up in my ass 737 00:26:55,352 --> 00:26:57,442 about not sharing stuff about my father, 738 00:26:57,485 --> 00:26:59,225 so now it's time for you to open up. 739 00:26:59,269 --> 00:27:00,619 What the hell? I--Come on! 740 00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:02,622 I don't know what you want me to say. 741 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:05,674 My wife didn't die that night, okay? 742 00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:07,061 Our marriage did. 743 00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:11,185 I guess you gotta learn not to dwell on it. 744 00:27:11,238 --> 00:27:12,808 Yeah. Well, I'm trying. 745 00:27:12,848 --> 00:27:16,498 Okay? And I think I do pretty good too, sometimes. 746 00:27:16,547 --> 00:27:18,677 You know, until I hear that fucking song. 747 00:27:18,724 --> 00:27:19,684 Which one? 748 00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:21,935 "Rainbow Connection." 749 00:27:21,988 --> 00:27:24,688 Wait. By Kermit the Frog? Yeah. 750 00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:27,040 My wife loved that song, and I-- 751 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,690 I used to put it on every single mix-tape I ever made for her. 752 00:27:31,737 --> 00:27:36,347 So of course, what that meant was when I came to in the car, 753 00:27:36,393 --> 00:27:42,663 uh, Kermit was just starting in on the banjo intro, you know? 754 00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:45,054 And, uh... I remembered where I was. 755 00:27:45,098 --> 00:27:46,398 I looked over... 756 00:27:48,188 --> 00:27:49,928 ...saw the blood... 757 00:27:51,495 --> 00:27:54,235 ...and thought: 758 00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:56,111 "Oh, son of a bitch, I just killed 759 00:27:56,152 --> 00:27:59,982 the only woman I'm ever gonna love." 760 00:28:00,026 --> 00:28:01,936 And then the frog started singing the verse, 761 00:28:01,984 --> 00:28:06,164 and it just-- It repeats over and over. 762 00:28:06,206 --> 00:28:08,896 Okay. So now you know, all right? 763 00:28:08,948 --> 00:28:12,388 My big trigger's the song from the fucking Muppet Movie. 764 00:28:13,779 --> 00:28:15,959 [SIGHS] 765 00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:18,568 Would someone else like to share something, please? 766 00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:23,270 Cu-Cutter's first name is "Tracy." 767 00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:24,400 [ALL CHUCKLE] 768 00:28:28,010 --> 00:28:29,190 SAM: Don't drink. 769 00:28:29,229 --> 00:28:30,449 Don't drink. 770 00:28:33,799 --> 00:28:35,979 [SIGHS]MAN: Hey. 771 00:28:36,018 --> 00:28:37,588 Hey. 772 00:28:37,628 --> 00:28:39,588 Yeah?You got a light? 773 00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:40,850 I don't smoke. 774 00:28:40,893 --> 00:28:43,243 Once a pussy, always a pussy. 775 00:28:46,681 --> 00:28:48,031 Dad? 776 00:28:48,074 --> 00:28:50,124 ♪ So maybe later, man 777 00:28:50,163 --> 00:28:52,913 ♪ There's an elegant land 778 00:28:52,948 --> 00:28:54,648 ♪ In the darkness 779 00:28:58,345 --> 00:29:01,475 ♪ Ooh, and maybe In the mind ♪ 780 00:29:01,522 --> 00:29:04,182 ♪ It's a hell of a time 781 00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:05,960 ♪ In the darkness 782 00:29:10,357 --> 00:29:12,707 ♪ And maybe in space 783 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,451 ♪ There's an alien race 784 00:29:15,492 --> 00:29:20,322 ♪ I wouldn't be surprised 785 00:29:20,367 --> 00:29:23,937 ♪ So without further ado...