'The following programme contains strong language and violence
from the start.'
Hope is the daughter of a blind father.
If you hadn't done it, then I'm not the blind father,
and the prophecy is not the prophecy.
Cait, you can't escape this! None of us can!
Fuck the gods.
I'll go to the underworld and speak to the sister.
-Who are you? -I'm Rain. It is the new Veran I guard.
Do you know how to prepare for the deep sleep?
"The" deep sleep.
What did you mean last time...
when you said I was your baby?
Go to your General Aulus, tell him Queen Antedia is coming.
Hello.
Ya!
Look where you're going. The Roman camp, five miles North,
there's not one bit left standing on another.
Burnt they were, all of them.
What the fuck could do that? -Thunderbolt? -Giants.
Whatever it is, they are in serious fucking trouble.
Right.
Who's going first? I'm Antedia,
Queen of the Regni, daughter of Bok the Dread,
ruler of 100 hills, scourge of all foe, or was.
I've heard of you. Everyone's heard of me.
How have you heard of me?
I'm Cantii, or was.
You're Cantii?
Before the Romans came, I...
Cantii... Cantii scum!
You drank the blood of your foe,
who had two heads, a demon horn for a sword,
and rode a chariot of fire.
Takes me right back.
Who's that winged serpent? What's his name?
It's, uh, Scraggleback. Scraggleback, the fiery serpent.
Winged serpent. That's him. Winged Serpent.
I think a smart move could catch him.
So, Cantii, do you have a name?
Cait. What are you running from, Cait?
I genuinely don't know. Start at the beginning.
Have you heard of a Druid called Veran?
Maybe.
Veran thinks I'm part of a prophecy.
And are you? No.
And if I was, I'm not any more.
Good, if you ask me.
Prophecy's like everything that Druids spout,
a bucket of dangerously sloppy shit.
You know what I think? Despite your unfortunate provenance,
we make a fine team. We should --stick together. -No. -Oh, come on.
You're looking for the General. Who murdered your family.
I'm sorry, the answer's no.
Well, I'm glad we met.
Look after yourself. Keep your wits about you.
And don't forget, whatever else happens, boys are just for fun.
I'll try and remember that.
It was the gods.
The gods have come to save us.
Go, gods.
Go on then! Go on!
Shit!
Dad?
Hello, pretty boy.
♪ Well, you can bump and grind
♪ It is good for your mind
♪ Well, you can twist and shout
♪ Let it all hang out
♪ But you won't fool the children of the revolution
♪ No, you won't fool
♪ The children of the revolution
♪ No, no, no
♪ Well, you can Terraplane
♪ In the falling rain
♪ I drive a Rolls-Royce
♪ Cos it's good for my voice
♪ But you won't fool the children of the revolution
♪ No, you won't fool
♪ The children of the revolution
♪ No, no, no
♪ Wow ♪
Paws up!
Not getting squirrel.
My journey to the below filled me with sadness.
Sadness and fear.
It's not the same place, Quane.
You'd not recognise it.
Our dead have suffered much.
Perhaps too much.
10,000 years I've walked these same lands,
heard the same songs on the same breezes.
Now, everything is changing.
Underworld is dying, Quane.
Voices of our gods get weaker with each sunrise.
But you saw it.
I did.
If the spear of the silver dawn is come,
then hope remains.
There was someone else there.
Who?
You wish to visit the dead.
So, what makes a top-brass warrior,
the General's right-hand bobbin, Mr swagger bollocks,
what makes him suddenly up and desert,
then instead of hopping the ship home,
hang around chasing some batshit Druid's
100-year-old prophecy?
Who told you about that? Take a wild one.
How did you find me? Weren't easy.
Made me all jump. Been searching in these hills for days.
And last night, we saw this ruddy great explosion on the horizon.
I say, "We." He saw it.
And then we looked at each other,
I say "We."
How are you, girl?
Not good. I don't need eyes to see that.
So, then you blinded him?
Yes.
Then you went back to the beach -and there he was. -The same beach.
All I know is this is my path.
This is what I'm here for, only this.
When your mother died, one thing kept me going,
I had a job to do.
A task, you and Islene.
I had a task and I'm now...
I'm not going back.
Cait. I mean it.
I'm finished.
A friend out there has been talking about a spear.
-A spear? -Says he brought it with him from the East
and he said you'd know what he was talking about.
Do you, Cait? Do you know anything about this spear?
The Druids call it the spear of the silver dawn.
It will come from the East.
The prophecy says
that when the Chosen One possesses it,
she will unite the tribes,
drive the demon back into the sea.
Watch it.
These two won't hang themselves.
Ah.
I could murder a pint.
Hey, isn't that our old Praefectus?
The one that did a runner?
Well, pretty boy, I'd say it's a toss-up,
either you've lost your mind
or you're caught up in something, true or not, stuck in something
that's gonna drive you stark bollock berserk sooner or later.
What's in this for you? Nothing, I have no choice.
You can do better than that. It's out of my hands.
Just... Just what?
I want to fuck him up.
You sly bastard.
Now you're talking.
That's him, all right.
Felix, mate,
the gods may just have smiled on us.
You need to go, now.
If what he's saying makes any sense,
if it means anything to you... There's something
I haven't told you.
What?
Veran.
What about him?
Cait, what about Veran?
He's dead.
How do you know that?
Cait, how do you know Veran's dead?
Get away from me.
What's happening?
Fuck!
Fucking traitor!
Get off me!
Cait?
You fucking bastard!
What's happening, Cait?
Come on! Let's get out of here.
This way, Dad!
Fuck off!
Dad, over here! I'm with you.
Dad! Wait!
Run! Wait! No!
Dad! Dad!
No!
Dad!
Where's my wife?
Uh, yes, well, it's a small world.
So what the fuck does that mean? You mean the High Priestess?
When you went roving, she went roving too.
Where's my wife?
Who are you?
A friend.
Where's the Witch?
The Witch.
The Witch?
The Witch caught a sniffle, the sniffle became a cold,
the cold became a fever, the Witch died.
Stay where you are.
Before she died, she sent a message,
my message reached the Druid, I told him to come.
Where is he? You do not summon the Veran.
A moment ago you asked who I was, I said, "A friend."
That was a lie, I'm not a friend.
I'm as far from a friend as you could possibly get.
You may not know me, Veran does, of old.
And when I say old, I mean, old.
My name is Hemple.
Now, when Veran gets a message from Hemple,
the first thing he does, shit his pants.
The second thing is get on his knees
and beg his gods to get him out of this.
The third thing is to get on his horse and come here,
because he is too afraid to do otherwise.
He knows how angry Hemple will be
if he ignores her message.
So, if Veran got Hemple's message,
then Veran would be here.
Which begs the only question,
what's wrong with Veran?
Did he catch a sniffle? Veran is not afraid of you.
And neither am I. Then why are you shaking?
Or, or is it the wind?
Oh, don't tell me you're going to catch a sniffle?
Whoops.
Come on, Cantii.
I've seen more fat on a butterfly.
No?
Suit yourself.
You asked me earlier why I wanted revenge on the General.
It's not because he took my throne.
See, my father, Bok the Dread
was only king, because he boiled his father,
Bok the Fearless in a vat of oil.
Thrones come and go. No, no.
No, no, that's not why I hate the General.
I had a son.
He was my world.
General Aulus murdered him.
He took me, lied to me, betrayed me, and then...
he murdered my only child.
I don't miss the power, I miss my boy.
And I will not rest until I've had vengeance.
It will make what happened back there
look like a spit in a spark.
Until then all I have is this fire,
(SNIFFLES)..this crappy, rotten bacon,
this breeze.
Cait.
He's gone.
You have to accept that.
Or you'll go mad like me.
I went mad a long way back.
Hello, squirt.
You summoned me, Your Majesty.
So, he was lying there, you had him powerless,
could've cut his throat, why didn't -you? -I thought you loved him.
Don't piss me about, we don't have time.
To ask that shows you know nothing about him, about his power.
So he controls you?
Then why did you plot to kill him?
Who says I did?
Vitus, the Praefectus, told me everything.
Oh, really? Where did that get him?
You were planning to kill the General and then she showed up.
He told me, Willa, he told me.
I'm cursed.
I can do nothing myself to harm him
-any more than I can leave. -You once told me we should stick together.
-I told you, can't harm him. -I can!
What about the High Priestess? Fuck her.
By the time she's back, we're gone. That's why it has to be today.
Yes or no?
Dad's dead.
He came to find me,
to get me to go back.
Dad is at peace now. He knows he played his part.
Islene, have I gone mad?
Stop it!
I had such big plans.
I was gonna have six daughters,
teach 'em all how to hunt, fight.
Turns out all I ever did was for one thing.
I know why they chose you, Cait.
You may not, but I do.
Even if I wanted to go back, I can't.
You mean Veran?
You know? Are you serious?
Oh, everyone down there knows. Veran's dead. Islene, I killed him.
Says who?
Don't get me wrong. It was touch and go for a while. But...
if he is dead...
I haven't seen him.
♪ Oh, the waters flow
♪ Windy wind so cold
♪ Oh, the rivers flow so old
♪ O'er the rivers fly
♪ Stately kingfishers
♪ Through the waters swim
♪ Stickleback fishes
♪ Oh, the rivers flow so old
♪ Through the rivers swim so old
♪ Oh, the rivers flow so old ♪
Well, who it isn't?
I'd given you up for dead.
You said we'd make a good team.
And? Will you help me?
Pretty boy. What's his name?
Told me about this spear thingy.
Said you'd be interested.
Tell me everything you know.
Three drops in his wine, no less, no more,
or he'll spot it.
Boo!
You've been a quiet one lately.
Hardly stepped outside.
What have you been up to?
Research.
Fruitful?
Very.
Care to share?
Fine, if you don't want to.
Here's something that might interest you.
Uh, what's his name? Blaine...
My wife's intolerable, utterly useless lapdog.
Turns out he has a use after all.
He was out there today farting about
and he saw something.
What? The Witch...
..paying you a visit.
"Golly," he said,
"I wonder what those two are hatching?"
And you believed him? Oh, search me.
He is a bit of a snake.
Well, in this case, the snake was telling the truth.
The Witch did come to see me.
Why? I asked her to.
Why?
The prophecy of Veran and the lore of Lokka overlap.
I wanted to know what the Druids know,
think, make of our master.
Oh.
He's our master now, is he?
You have no idea what he will ask of you.
No idea at all.
Stick around.
He'll show you what real sacrifice is.
I'll have a drop of that. Priestess. You returned.
Yes, this afternoon. Welcome back.
I trust your journey was fruitful. Thank you, pretty tits.
Oh, you look nice this evening. Thank you.
I'd say you're looking especially delicious.
Wouldn't you say? You know what? I would.
What's for supper? That's just the thing.
I didn't know you were gonna be back so soon, so...
Well, there must be something we could pick at.
I'm sure we can find something. Well, we'll just have to make do.
Just like that.
No! What could I do?
I shan't bore you...
How was your little journey?
-Find anything useful? -Oh, extremely. And I met with a Druid.
You sneaky rabbit. Well, I did tell you.
These people can be tricky buggers.
Sometimes you just have to sneak up on them.
And as chance would have it, our friend here has been busy too.
Really? What have you been up to?
She met with the Witch. I thought she hated the Witch.
Oh, down to her green bones.
But there she was.
The question is, why?
Well, I imagine it was perfectly innocent.
Nothing to do with "Seizing the day while the cat's away,"
"Striking while the iron is hot."
You want to know what I was up to, I will tell you.
But first, a toast.
To safe homecomings.
Oh, that is perfect. Unimprovable.
I tell you what, let's bloody do it. Fuck it, let's.
To safe homecoming. Safe homecomings.
Try it.
Yummy. Fabulous.
-Isn't it? -I don't think there's anything better
than a good drop of plonk. Oh, me too. Me too.
Well, Come on, then, sweetie.
Spill the beans.
Oh!
Hello.
What's this?
I have it on very good authority,
if you swallow just one drop before you can say,
"Hello, this tastes a bit funny",
your kidneys boil, your eyes, tongue, teeth turn to lard,
and your arse drops out of your arse.
Oh.
I didn't see this coming. No, me neither.
Well, come on, then.
Where on earth did you get it?
Surprise!
Who's hungry?
Higher.
Look at the idiot.
Better. One more.
Hey, there. Maybe I can help.
Fuck off.
What news, Druid?
I waited at the horse. The Witch did not come.
What?
Someone's coming!
I'll say this, she's got balls.
I mean, I've messed things up before... royally.
But who does that and then walks back in here?
She does.
I'm not sorry.
If I had the chance to go back, I wouldn't change a moment,
because if I hadn't done it,
I wouldn't know what I know.
Which is?
That this is my path.
I can't change it.
There's no other one for me
and I'll walk it to the end.
We're just pawns in this mad game.
Well, let's play.
Let's play the game.
Your move, Cait.
Whoa! Why aren't you fucking dead?
Hi, I'm Quant. Knackers. Cantii.
Prince fucking Phelan. Once. Not any more.
No more than you're still -Queen Antedia. -I am still queen.
I'll let you guys catch up.
The Chosen One asked for you.
Cantii wanker.
I'm not finished with you. No probs, I'll be right here.
I hate the Druids.
Oh, how the wheel turns.
This is my friend Antedia. We've met.
Sit. And catch what you've got?
No, thank you. I'd rather stand.
Tell me what the Roman soldier told you about the prophecy.
Phelan.
Rolf.
Quant.
What next?
He's buried it. Didn't say where. If you want to find out where it is,
you're gonna have to free pretty boy and ask him.
May I go now? Smells like a badger's balls in here.
'I will speak to all, young and old.
Bring them to the sacred stones.'
Gather the Druids.
Gather the Druids!
I know many of you have doubted me.
Doubted the prophecy.
But now the Chosen One is returned
and destiny calls.
There is one come to these lands from the East.
He brought with him a spear.
Your ancestors
and their ancestors, and their ancestors.
They know its name.
It is the spear of the silver dawn.
Only once the spear is found
can the Chosen One lead us into the light.
She will choose among you a band
to walk with her, protect her, and learn from her.
This is the first day of a new age.
I want to say something.
I don't know who I am.
I don't know where I'm going, but I know why.
Not for some prophecy or him or you.
I'm doing this for me, for Cait.
I am not the Chosen One.
I choose this myself.
Hm. A bit selfish.
-You summoned me. -Time to prepare, they're waiting inside.
Of course.
You too, Quant. OK.
What the fuck?
On your feet, Druid.
-I'm not a Druid. -You are now.
Well, well, well. I haven't seen you in such a long time.
-Queen Antedia. -Well, at least someone here knows what's what.
You'll have to enlighten me one day
as to how you ended up with all these...
weirdos. It's a long story.
Well, it could be worse, I suppose.
You could be married to a Cantii right now.
Excuse me.
Uh.
Yeah.
Erm, basically, why me?
Because you know what it's like to be lost.
So you chose me?
I chose all of you.
Hi.
Oh. Hi.
What's wrong?
What? Nothing.
You sure? Absolutely.
Excited. Raring to go.
OK. I don't like horses.
I'm not good with horses.
Well, you better learn.
Yeah. By the way...
It happened.
What happened?
The Great Vision.
That's why I came back.
Couldn't have done it without you.
So tell me, who is he?
No idea.
-He just looked fun. -Listen, sweetie. I'm not sure about this.
About what? Oh, it's just...
I'm not sure that this is my kind of quest.
It's not a quest.
It's cold-blooded revenge.
Find the spear, Cait.
Before Rome.
What spear?
The spear of the silver dawn.
I'll just follow you, then, shall I?
So, there's this farmhand who goes to work on a farm
and he's in the yard and he sees this pig with only three legs.
He asks the farmer, "What's with the pig there?"
The farmer says, "Well, a few years ago,
the farmhouse caught fire and that pig ran in,
raised the alarm, saved me, my wife and all three kids.
We'd have burnt to a crisp if it wasn't for that pig."
The farmhand says, "But how did he lose the leg?"
And the farmer says, "Oh, right. Well, with a pig that useful,
you don't eat him all at once."
Oh, in all the excitement,
I forgot to say, I've been a clever girl.
Oh, yeah? How's that?
Eeny...
meeny...
miny...
moe.
I caught a Druid.
By the toe.
I like it.
Oh, I am vanquished!
'Kneel, General Aulus.'
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