Okay, please don't forget to remind him, okay?
Thank you.
Would you sign it?
It was by far your best one.
Oh, you didn't like the others?
No, I did.
Alive in five, four.
Well, we are thrilled to have Jillian James back with us,
with her new book.
It's called How to Pick Your Second Husband.
Hey Jillian, welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me.
Now you take a very practical look
at picking your husband.
What inspired you to write this?
Well, every 36 seconds
there's a divorce happening in America,
which tells me there's a problem,
and we could be doing something better.
Are you suggesting that we pick a husband
the same way we might write out a grocery list?
Well, when you go out to buy a car,
you know what options you want.
You ask to see a report to make sure it hasn't been damaged.
Yes.
When we go out to dinner,
we only go to places with good reviews.
Well, you know, that's true.
I live on my Yelp.
Exactly, and in the most important decision of our life,
we rely on feelings.
Yes, but come on.
Don't you think the heart wants what the heart wants?
All right, well, I'm gonna tell you what my viewers want.
They wanna know, is this how you picked your husband?
Justin and I met in grad school.
We had a lot in common.
We had the same friends, same goals.
So yes, I would say so.
He fit into the profile of what I needed.
Good, this is good stuff,
and I'm so sorry we're out of time,
but I do have to offer you a congratulations.
You are getting a very special award tonight.
Thank you.
All right, well, thanks so much for this,
and if you haven't gotten your copy of the book,
you need to.
All right, we'll be back right after this.
That was great. Thank you.
- Good luck, on everything. - Oh, thank you.
Oh, you know what? I referred you to two of my friends, Lauren and Jack Murray.
Oh.
You know, they were the perfect couple until,
I don't know, it sort of all just blew up.
Wow, that's too bad.
Well actually, if you ask me,
they are so busy playing the blame game that they
they just oughta look in the mirror, you know what I mean?
All right, come on.
You're fine.
You're doing great.
Remember what we talked about.
You know, when Harry brought me out here,
all he did was yell at me.
Do this, do that.
Yeah, well at least Harry came.
Could you imagine
Bob out here?
You're in some
- Whoa. - Cart to drive around in
all day,
or some cute little girl serving snacks.
Forget about it.
- Hey, Hudson. - Hi, Justin.
I'm confirming you'll be there before seven.
Be where?
Justin, don't do this to--
I don't, uh--
The dinner for Jillian.
I'm kidding.
I wouldn't forget that.
Good.
Okay, seven o'clock at St. James' Room.
Suit and tie.
Jillian laid them out for you.
Please don't be late.
Got it, boss.
Whoa.
Would you excuse me for a second?
Hi.
Mm, you look great.
Where's your suit?
I'm happy to see you too.
No one's looking at me.
They're all looking at you.
You're wearing your boots.
I promise no one's looking at my feet.
You would have looked so perfect.
Let it go.
It was a nice evening,
you gave a great speech,
and it's over now.
Just once, I wish things would go as planned.
Sorry, I was running a few minutes behind.
Forget it, it's fine.
I'm not the therapist,
but that sounds a little passive-aggressive.
You're right.
You're not the therapist.
Keep it all bottled in, someday it's
it's gonna spew.
I think your words were, let it go.
I get it.
You're not changing.
What's wrong with me?
I'm tired.
I'm going to sleep.
Good Wednesday to you.
I'm meteorologist Cindy Fitzgibbon.
Probably one of the nicest days of the entire summer.
Wall-to-wall sunshine and low humidity.
Look at these high temperatures.
Low to a few mid-80s
through the Merrimack Valley metro west.
A little cool around the Cape today in the upper 70s,
but really the key here is the dry, comfortable air,
pleasant overnight temperatures, nice afternoons.
It's all courtesy of high pressure bringing down
that dry air from the north,
but the humidity is to our south and west,
You're still mad I didn't wear a suit last night?
See, when you say it like that, you make me sound petty.
Well, then what is it?
I feel like you don't respect me enough
to be there for me when I ask.
Jill,
I was there.
You were barely there.
Don't even know what that means.
Well, it means that I
I would like to depend on you once in a while.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I have an early anniversary gift for you.
What, are you gonna wave something shiny in front of me?
No, I know better than to pick out jewelry for you.
I booked us that trip we always talk about.
We'll be in Paris for our anniversary.
Wow.
That's very sweet of you.
You know, it's you that always talks about that trip,
and you know I can't go.
Not now.
You can't, or you won't?
No, I can't.
My publisher needs the first draft of my next book
by the end of the month.
If only there was some kind of
mobile device that you could take with you and
write while you're away.
I don't even have an idea yet.
You know, a lot of people think that's my best one.
Make a list.
Your ideal husband would...
Okay, can we not do this now?
My ideal husband would...
Wear suits and always be on time.
That's what you thought you were getting.
But you weren't happy.
Yeah, now you're not happy.
You can't make me happy or unhappy.
You don't have that power.
I have a nine o'clock.
You always conveniently have an appointment
whenever we start to talk.
We just talked.
Justin dropped this by
while you were with someone.
Dinner, 6:00 p.m. at the Oak Room.
I'll be right back with the dessert menu.
Thanks.
Those are the best short ribs I ever had.
I'm ready to go home and pack.
How 'bout you?
I told you I can't go.
I know you don't love surprises.
This is the only way --
Look, how can I go when I have so much going on?
Just 'cause you can't go, doesn't mean I can't go, right?
You wanna go on our trip without me?
Well, uh...
Thanks.
Anything else? Coffee?
No, we're fine.
Just the bill.
You think you can fix something with a trip?
You can't.
So you're saying you want me to stay, as in
as in not go?
Well, just because I can't go
doesn't mean I want you to go without me.
Well yeah, then come with me.
No, I have a deadline.
Your life is one big deadline.
Well, somebody has to pay the bills.
There it is.
What should I tell everyone?
Whatever you want.
If you could go back in time and do it all over again,
would you choose me?
It's a simple question, Jill.
You shouldn't have to think.
Just go.
Good boy.
Isn't he cute?
Think I oughta put on some sad music
to go with those sad eyes.
Look, he likes you.
Are we doing this again?
You ask me to take one of these sad little dogs
just because they don't have a home.
You are in a great mood.
Oh, well you wouldn't believe what Justin did.
Well, unless he's peeing on your carpet,
I don't think I can help you.
No, he expected me to just drop everything
and go on some stupid trip with him.
But you didn't wanna go?
I can't, so he just packed his bag and left.
That doesn't sound like Justin.
Okay, why does everyone think
that he's the cool, easygoing one, and I'm the--
Maybe it's wanderlust.
That's a thing, you know,
or he could be going through a midlife crisis early.
Okay, we're not midlife.
I said early.
I can't just leave on a whim.
You know, they do say absence makes the heart grow...
What is it?
Closer?
You know what, though?
I'm not the problem.
It's him.
We used to want the same things,
and now I can't even get him into a suit without a fight.
Tell me this isn't about clothes.
What happened to the guy I married, huh?
I feel like I don't even know him anymore.
You know, this probably isn't even about you.
He's gonna come back, and everything is gonna be just fine.
What if it isn't?
Wanna go get some food?
No, I'm not hungry.
You can watch me eat, mm?
No, I gotta get back to the office,
so other people can tell me
all about their terrible problems.
Oh, hi.
Please.
So, how did it go this week?
Jack, why don't you go first?
Okay, well, I tried to do everything she wanted.
That's the problem.
I don't want you to try to do what I want.
I want you to want to do those things.
See, you'd think she'd be happy I'm even trying.
What's my motivation?
You need motivation?
Okay, let's
let's just back up.
Let's agree that you two being here this week is good.
Thank you.
And we can agree that there's still work to do.
Let's look at your marriage as a team sport,
and you two are teammates.
You're not competing against each other.
I don't play team sports.
I run.
Can you say that you can trust Jack?
Can you depend on him?
Not really.
Okay, well we have to talk about that,
because without trust-- - Whoa,
what did I ever do?
This doesn't have to be about you, Jack.
Look, you two have gone through a lot of experiences,
in childhood, in past relationships,
that shape who you are.
This is you, Lauren,
and this is Jack.
See, you're filled with marbles,
otherwise known as, uh, baggage,
and when we start dating, you guys are so polite
that you keep your marbles to yourself,
but in an intimate relationship, you just start bumping
into each other.
It's only natural.
We, we can't keep from it.
This is the stuff that we have in us.
It's going to come out,
and you have to deal with this stuff!
Are you okay?
Yes.
I think we should continue this next week.
Okay.
You are the most married person I know.
How are you guys still happy?
How is your me time?
Oh, it's very quiet.
That is something it is not around here.
Hello.
Hello, hello.
I wish someone was that excited to see me when I get home.
Well, if you had a dog...
Well, except I don't want a dog.
Come to the park with us.
It's Saturday.
You're allowed to have fun.
Well, I'm working on my new book.
Oh, now that does sound fun.
Hey, it is.
I finally have an idea.
It's called How to Unlock the Secret to a Happy Marriage.
You know, if I can give people something quantitative,
something that they can just check off a list,
So have you found the secret yet?
Not yet, but I'm compiling a list of the traits
of my relationships of the clients that I work with,
or the couples that I know,
like you guys, on the success side.
Once I find the common denominator, well, that's a secret,
but you guys have fun.
Thanks, 'bye honey.
- 'Bye. - 'Bye.
Thanks for brunch.
Hey Jill, come on, let your grandpa finish that.
It's gonna rain.
I'll be in there.
You look like you have the weight of the world
on your shoulders.
You know, I'm writing a new book.
It's called How to Unlock the Secret to a Happy Marriage.
That's wonderful.
Yeah, it's a great title, but it's all I have.
So this is where I get to impart my words of wisdom?
Yep.
I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me.
Find someone you love,
and then hold on 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
You know, I was kinda hoping
that you'd give me a list of dos and don'ts,
you know, secrets.
You're overthinking it.
It's not that hard.
Or that easy.
I know it's hard.
I'm not sure about easy.
I mean, you found the right guy.
How did you do that?
Found him?
There were two boys my age, and he had the car.
My family grew up in a small town,
and he lived right down the road.
You picked Grandpa because he had a car?
Hey, things were a lot more pragmatic back in those days,
and he's really cute too.
He was cute and he had a car.
You got it.
Hey.
Hey, hi, hi.
Hi.
Mm, so you find that secret sauce yet?
You guys make it look so easy.
Anyone that thinks relationships are easy
hasn't been in one.
What are you talking about?
Hey, you need any help?
No, I think I have it under control.
I love her.
Aaron, you want a taste?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Mm.
All right, that's all you get until dinner.
Will you do me a favor
and finish putting ice in the glasses,
and also light the candles?
I'm on it.
Thanks, babe.
Huh, well, you obviously have it all figured out.
What's that?
You literally have Aaron eating out of your hand.
Very funny.
No, I'm serious.
Like, he would do anything for you,
and he'd be happy to do it.
He adores you.
Anything else, honey?
Uh, maybe some music, thanks.
Go get your toy and take it to Daddy.
You are a puppet master.
I just know what they want.
I'll get it.
♪ I don't know why
Unbelievable.
♪ It's so funny, but it seems
♪ I get so high in springtime
Okay, seriously?
I thought you guys had something rare,
something that I wanted.
That's no gift.
You, you burst my bubble.
Aaron is the best thing that's ever happened to me,
and we're both very happy.
Your bubble is fine.
Did you have him neutered too?
Stop it.
You know, maybe there is no secret.
Maybe it's like Al Capone's vault: nothing there.
You know, I spend my day
listening marriage problems that I can't fix,
and all I wanna say to them is,
like, why did you ever get married?
Maybe you should take some time off.
You know, people, they think,
they expect that they're gonna be
in some part of very small, exclusive group of the people
that found the right person, but there's what?
There's what, seven billion people in the world?
Okay, yeah, those are great odds.
Hey, how many of those have you had?
Have you slept?
No, I have to finish the book
that unlocks the secret to happiness in a relationship,
and when Justin get home,
if Justin ever gets home,
I need to know the secrets.
This stays between the two of us, you understand?
I treat my husband
the way I wanna be treated.
Okay, see that's not funny.
No, you can see how vulnerable I am.
What do you want?
Why is it that people that know exactly what it takes
to have a successful marriage
don't wanna tell you?
Like what?
There's only enough happiness?
Is that it?
If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will deny it.
So we hadn't been married for very long, and we were fine.
We were adjusting to married life,
and I decided that I wanted a puppy, and so we got one,
and he was adorable, and a handful,
and we read all of the books, and nothing was working.
So we decided to go to a class.
The woman was amazing.
She was a miracle worker, and she made it look so easy.
She suggested that we get another dog
to keep our dog company during the day
when we weren't there,
and I asked, with this one, if I could train, you know,
'cause I wanted to learn how to do it myself.
Oh, so she taught you to be the dog whisperer.
She taught me everything about training a dog.
Huh,
so you accidentally trained your husband?
No, I just realized how good dogs have it.
All right, so you're saying that walks and treats
are the secret to your marriage?
Does that sound silly?
No, no.
No, it doesn't sound silly, that's
It's ridiculous.
I mean, I know that it was another woman, but was that all?
Is that not enough?
Well, I mean, an affair is normally a symptom,
not a problem.
We didn't communicate,
grew apart,
had nothing in common,
yadda-yadda-yadda.
That's helpful.
Did Justin?
No, no, no, no, no.
You are an accomplished, independent woman,
and you don't need a man.
But don't you miss the companionship?
I have a cat.
Don't look at me like that.
I just have one cat.
And that's your dream in life?
Just a cat to live happily ever after with?
I am not wasting my time
chasing something that doesn't exist.
Yeah see, but it does exist.
I've seen it.
It's rare, but I've seen it.
And look, you've seen it too.
Grandma and Grandpa have it.
They're happy.
Okay, it exists, but it's extremely rare,
and my mother made her whole life about my father.
Is that what you wanna do?
Can I help you find something?
Yes, hi.
I was looking for a book on training a puppy.
Oh, what kind is he?
I don't know yet, just thinking about getting one.
Oh, well you know they're a lot of work.
I'd recommend getting one that's already been trained.
We had an awful time.
We had to replace the carpet.
Oh.
Right here.
Let's see.
Oh, here.
This one, and
You know, take your time,
and pick the one that's right for you.
I will.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
So, about our talk last week...
I went to the library
and checked out some books on the subject.
Surprisingly, it parallels with some behavioral studies
that have already been done.
I'd like to try some of those for my new book.
Hi.
Who wants a treat?
I got some treats for you.
Yeah.
Oh, you're the best.
Come on.
See?
That's unbelievable.
You want one?
No, you know I don't eat cookies,
but I will take one of those dogs
you're always trying to get rid of.
But just a loaner.
Are you serious?
Mm-hmm.
Let's go.
♪ I think it's meant to be
Come here, little munchkin.
Um...
Yeah?
Well, is he trained?
Oh, Henry will be easy.
He's smart.
You think he looks smart?
You two are perfect for each other.
No, no.
Okay, come on, Henry.
Come on.
I'll take you outside.
Let's go do that.
All right, you ready?
You gotta walk.
Henry, walk.
Come on.
Okay.
Okay, we got you.
Henry, come on.
All right, well take your time.
You probably need to get acclimated.
Did she give me a dog with fleas?
Hey, Henry.
Henry, do you need to go?
I wonder if there's an app for bathroom breaks
so we don't have another little accident.
Puddle and Pile, huh.
Planning is the key to everything.
You'll see, Henry.
So about Joanne.
What's that?
Nothing.
Sorry, it's
It's a puppy.
Go on.
Can we get him out?
I'm afraid that will send the wrong message.
I don't think it'll hurt just once.
Look at him.
Aw, come here.
You just want someone to pick you up, don't you?
This isn't very professional.
You should charge extra for puppy therapy.
Well, he's not mine, but I'll take a note of that.
How's he doing through the night?
I'm sure he'll do fine.
Well, some of the nights are rough.
I have him on a schedule.
So about Joanne.
Nothing I do seems to make her happy.
Well no, you can't.
You can do things with her
that you think that she might enjoy,
but ultimately it's up to her.
She's responsible for her own feelings.
I know.
Just wish there was something.
Why don't we try and get her in again.
You should come home with me.
That might make her happy.
Okay, I'll see you next week,
hopefully with Joanne.
Okay, bye-bye.
Hey, what am I gonna do with you?
Are you hungry?
I don't understand why Justin is out traveling the world,
and you got a dog.
What's going on?
I didn't get a dog.
I'm just, uh,
I'm just helping Nicole out.
This is temporary, that's all.
You don't think you're trying to cover up the fact
that your biological clock is ticking away
and your husband's out having the time of his life?
I'm sorry, did you learn that in one of your classes too?
I'm not sharing my personal relationship,
or my reproductive life plan with you, Hudson.
A dog is just that: a dog.
Well, your doctor's office keeps leaving you messages.
I don't know what to say, that's all.
Okay, so you're obviously aware that Justin is gone now.
But I thought it was you.
I will be making my own doctor's appointment from now on.
Sorry.
Didn't know you were so sensitive about it.
Oh, I'm not, I'm not.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
You know, I could really use a coffee run right now.
Hudson doesn't know what she's talking about, does she?
I mean, what does she know?
What does she know about having a baby?
I mean, I'm not one of those women that has to have a baby.
I have a career.
What would I do with a baby?
I can't just put a baby in a crate in a corner.
I'm surprised Nicole even trusted me to take care of you.
Hi buddy, what's wrong?
Are you afraid of the dark?
Okay, I'm only negotiating this once with you.
I'm only doing it once, okay?
But you have to stay in the kennel.
I don't wanna send the wrong message.
Hey, let me finish.
You can sleep by my bed, okay?
I know, you're probably lonely,
and I'm tired if you keep doing that.
Let's go to bed, Henry.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh no!
Oh no, no, no, no!
We gotta go outside.
Nyuugh!
Oh God!
Ow!
Okay, come on.
Hi, I'm returning the dog.
I showed it where it's supposed to go to the bathroom,
and it's going everywhere but there.
And also, I didn't know dogs were supposed to be nocturnal.
I didn't read that anywhere.
He's a puppy.
It takes time.
You just have to be consistent.
Well, when am I supposed to go to sleep?
What if I fall asleep while listening to a client?
How are you gonna do research for your book
if I take--
Okay, well that's not fair.
You have to help me.
Come to class.
We'll start on some basic commands.
All right, looking good, mm-hmm, very good.
Good sit.
Oh, hey.
Hi.
Well, we don't beg when we want our dog to do something.
We use a voice
that's easy for them to understand the command.
Henry, sit.
Oh, okay, I've seen that before.
Good sit.
Practice with him a few more times, okay.
Okay.
Um, these are for Henry.
All right, Henry.
Thank you so much for being here.
We'll see you next week.
Remember, short leash, close to you.
He's good, right?
Yeah, he is.
He is a good boy.
Well, you make it look so easy.
Just give them praise when they learn something new.
I'll use that in my book.
Have you heard from Justin?
No, not a word.
I thought he would text or something,
let me know he's alive, but--
Did you reach out?
My assistant follows him on Instagram.
You could call.
You think?
Well, seeing as we're not in junior high,
and we're married: yeah.
Okay, but don't you think he would call
if he'd wanna talk?
Do you wanna fix things?
Take the first step.
And what should I say?
Well, you're the marriage therapist,
so you probably know better than me,
but maybe you could start with something like,
how are you?
Where are you?
Lead with that.
Okay, yeah, I could do that.
Hi, hope you are doing well.
I'm fine, it's beautiful here.
How are you?
I'll send you a picture.
Talk soon.
Love you.
Good night, Justin.
I love you.
Oh.
I assumed something was wrong when you didn't show up.
Oh, um, Henry, this is Mona.
Mona, Henry.
Cats are so much more civilized.
I'm sorry.
I completely forgot about today.
Did your housekeeper quit?
Uh no, I'm trying to bake cookies.
You don't eat cookies.
Well, I thought it would be nice
for when Justin gets home.
Gets home?
From where?
He's in Europe.
Europe?
Yeah, he's working.
He wanted me to go with him, but, you know, just, I'm busy.
Shouldn't he be European to be a European tour guide?
He's an adventure/expedition specialist.
I'm sorry, how is that different from a tour guide?
Well, the way you say it, it's demeaning.
Well, how else to say it?
He went to law school, and now he climbs rocks.
He wasn't happy.
Everybody thinks they need to be happy.
Happiness is elusive.
I mean, how would you possibly even know if you found it?
I just find it exhausting.
Well, at least one of you is still working.
What is this?
It's called How to Unlock the Secret to a Happy Marriage.
Good, then you can read it.
Oh, I think Henry needs to...
Henry!
I hate to say this,
but people do not buy weight-loss books
from overweight writers.
Today, we are going to teach down,
which is why we first taught sit.
He's clearly an overachiever.
He shouldn't be in the beginner's class.
You're doing fine.
Self-esteem, very important.
All right, when you want your dog to go down,
you simply hold the treat in front of their nose,
lead them down to the ground,
and when their belly touches the ground, you say,
yes!
Good down, and give them a treat, okay?
Okay, yes, this is wonderful.
Keep practicing.
Great, that looks great.
All right everyone, practice for next week,
and we will see you then.
All right, take care.
Yes, you've been practicing.
Good.
Thanks.
I was talking about Henry, but you too.
Great job.
I texted Justin last night.
Oh, and how is he?
Good, I think.
He didn't say a lot.
Okay, well, that's a start, right?
Yeah.
I bet he's your best student.
Well, I'm not supposed to choose favorites, but, uh,
yeah, he's the best.
I knew it.
Yeah, he is.
I have an exercise I'd like for you guys to try this week.
Will you try?
Sure.
I bet you used to do this when you were dating.
I want you to say thank you and you're welcome,
like you would to a total stranger.
It's easy for us to take each other for granted,
but a simple thank you--
Why would I thank him?
It's just as much his trash as it is mine.
It's not all my trash.
I do more around the house than he does.
If you tell me what it is you want me to do, I'll do it.
Often, we want our spouses to know what it is we want
without telling them,
which is extremely difficult.
I mean, if we're being honest with ourselves,
we may know what we don't want,
but we don't know what we want.
I know what I want, but I'm not telling him.
Why can't you tell Jack what it is you want?
He can't read your mind.
What are you afraid of?
Give Jack the opportunity to meet your needs.
He's not the enemy.
He's such a good boy.
You are such a good boy.
Yes, you are.
You were so good outside.
Okay, go get a treat.
Jill, just made it to the summit,
and it's, it's beautiful.
I keep thinking about the way I left, and
I'm sorry.
I need to know
what you're thinking.
Okay, Justin isn't just working.
Of course he's not.
I think he wants to come home.
He wants to know what I'm thinking.
Well I'm sure he does.
He's testing the waters.
He want to see if it's safe to come home.
Safe?
You have to set him straight
that he can't just take off whenever he feels like it,
while you stay home and bake cookies.
No, no, it's not like that.
Look, he just
he just needed some time away.
Oh, grow up.
Why do you think he left?
You think I should go meet him?
No, relax.
You have the upper hand.
No Mom, we're 50/50.
Do you want him to think you've been sitting around
waiting for him to come home,
or do you want him to wonder
what he missed out on while he was gone?
Justin is not Dad.
But he's a man,
and he'll use your weaknesses against you if you let him.
No, hey, hey, no.
That's not yours, that's Mona's.
You know, I don't think Justin's the enemy here.
I didn't say he was,
but that doesn't mean you can trust him, either.
Come on.
Come on, Henry, let's go.
It's okay.
Oh, so gorgeous.
It's beautiful.
So I texted Justin last night.
I told him that I missed him, and that he should come home.
And what did he say?
Nothing.
He said nothing.
I think I just
I waited too long to respond.
You don't know that.
Well no, he doesn't like it when I'm indecisive,
and he knows what he wants.
He's decisive.
Well, you said what you felt, and that's good.
I'm really proud of you.
Maybe my mother's right.
Maybe he's not alone.
What if he never got the call?
What if he had no cell service?
What if he was stuck on top of a mountain,
caught in a snowstorm,
and he had to fight off a pack of wild mountain goats, hmm?
What if he dropped his phone?
What I'm saying is, I think he's gonna be in touch.
Well I hope so.
So you guys remember my friend from work,
Jess, the pretty blond.
Yeah.
Well, we're not friends anymore.
Why?
She seemed so nice.
Yeah, I thought so too,
until she and Larry announced that they're in love--
...I mean, I introduced them.
- No. - Really?
That sucks.
You think you've got it all figured out,
and then you have to start over with half of what you had,
minus what the lawyers took,
and then you lose all of your friends
because they're your couple friends,
and they just feel uncomfortable having to choose,
so they just disappear.
He won't lose us.
I know, Larry won't want you.
Are you sure he's still working?
Oh, I trust Justin.
How's Henry?
Oh, he's so good.
He did the funniest thing the other day.
Really?
So cute--
Good seeing you, man.
Look who I found wandering outside our apartment.
Justin, what are you doing here?
I didn't wanna just crawl into bed and
you come home and not know I was there.
Why didn't you call?
Uh, battery's dead.
Hey Justin, can I get you some food?
I'm really tired, but thanks.
Of course.
Hey Aaron, help me with these dishes, huh?
Hi.
How was your trip.
Oh, I
I'll tell you about it later.
You look good.
You want a ride home?
Who's Henry?
What?
Henry.
Nicole asked you how he was.
Oh, um...
Henry, he's a
he's a friend.
Oh.
Where'd you meet?
A group thing.
He's a client?
Uh-huh.
I didn't know you talked to Nicole about your clients.
Oh well sometimes.
You're not jealous, are you?
Uh-uh, no, I'm just curious what I missed out on.
Oh, well you know me.
Not much.
You ready to go home?
Yeah, I'm so ready.
I'm exhausted.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's go, then.
Yes, let's.
I'm so tired I wanna...
What?
Hey.
Oh, whose dog is this?
It's mine.
Oh, it's ours.
What?
You always said they were messy
and that you didn't want one.
Yeah, and I was right,
but I mean, come on, look how cute he is.
Oh, what's his name?
It's, uh, George.
I never guessed you for a dog person.
Me neither, but I guess I am.
He suits you.
I'm gonna
take a shower, though, and get a little sleep,
but I'd like to take you out tonight.
Okay, sounds nice.
Hey, you don't mind if I call you George, do you?
It's only for a little while.
You didn't have to wear a suit.
I though if I looked good
you might go dancing with me after dinner.
Now you dance?
Wow, that must have been some trip.
It was incredible.
Look at this.
Wish you were there.
Oh, that looks beautiful.
It was.
I though a lot about us while I was gone,
and about where we're headed.
Me too.
Hey, I need to know if you want this,
and not out of some obligation to your career,
what people might think, but
because you're committed to us.
I do.
I really, really do.
Look at this.
Oh, hey.
- Hi. - Hi.
You look a lot better since last time I saw you.
Aw, man, I
I slept like a rock.
What do you think of--
George!
So were you all turned around on your times?
Oh yeah, I am.
I was so exhausted from the travel.
Oh man, so
what time is it there now? - What am I...
- Uh, eight hours... - What am I supposed
to call him?
Oh man.
I get so confused.
We're just, uh, we're, uh,
we're walking George to teach him how to be on the leash.
He just
He still doesn't love it.
Okay, well make sure you keep him on a short leash
so that he stays close by your side.
Sure.
You've done a great job with George.
Thank you.
Who's George?
- The dog. - The dog.
Dog.
I thought his name was--
George, 'cause remember
you called him King George that one time.
Oh yeah, we did
you did, yeah. - Oh yeah, because--
Jillian treats him like he's the king.
Uh-huh.
And these dogs have it so good.
Well, on that note, we'd better get going,
because I'm gonna bake cookies.
You know how to bake?
Yeah, Nicole gave me a recipe.
Mm, they have some secret ingredient.
So good, just you wait.
All right.
All right guys, we'll see you later.
- Okay. - Bye-bye.
- See you. - Bye.
Come on George.
Come on, buddy.
Oh look, he's pretty good right now.
I woke up and thought I was dreaming.
Those smell so good.
Ah, mm
Hm?
Mm.
I was homesick before, but
this is better than I remember.
I've been thinking
maybe an office job wouldn't be such a bad thing.
I'd have a set schedule,
and I wouldn't have to work weekends.
Get to spend more time with you.
Wait, wait.
You don't want an office job.
A climbing equipment company
has approached me several times.
I don't know, maybe I should give it a try.
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to explore your options.
Yeah.
Oh, what's the new book about?
Oh, you don't wanna talk about that.
Oh I do, I do.
What is it?
A sequel?
How to pick your third husband?
Do you wanna go outside?
Come on, George, I'll take you outside.
Does he do that to you?
Do what?
I don't get it.
Why are you calling Henry, George?
Well, it's hard to explain.
I'm not really sure myself,
but when Justin walked in, and he surprised me,
he overheard you ask how Henry was doing.
Yeah, and?
And then he asked who Henry was,
but I didn't wanna tell him I got a dog right away.
Why?
Well, it just
it didn't feel like I should lead in with that
after he'd been gone for so long, and, you know, I just
I didn't want him to think that I was just waiting around,
and then Carla texted and said that he reeked of guilt,
and I just
I panicked.
Honey, I think what she smelled
was two days worth of travel.
Regardless, you thought naming your dog George would help?
Well, I assured him Henry was just a friend.
Henry's not a friend.
Henry is your dog.
Well, I know, so when we got home,
I couldn't very well tell him that our dog's name was Henry,
so I just
I just called him George.
It's no big deal.
Jill, you're the therapist.
You don't see something wrong
with making your husband jealous of your dog?
Okay, weren't you listening?
It wasn't my intention.
It just happened.
I'm sure he's forgotten all about it.
Okay, well, besides that,
how are things going with Justin?
After dinner, we went dancing.
Justin doesn't like dancing.
I know, I know, and it was his idea.
That's impressive.
I can't even get Aaron to go dancing.
Okay, I have to go because I have a client coming--
No no!
Then what happened?
I want one.
I think we're gonna start trying again.
Are you sure you're ready?
We'll we're finally in a really good place.
And he hasn't asked you about Henry?
No, no.
I told you he'd forget all about it.
Hey, where's Jill?
I wanted to surprise her and see if she had time for lunch.
Uh, she had an appointment: hair, nails--
I'll leave a note on her desk.
I'm so jealous.
I wanna do that.
Hm?
Your trip.
Instagram.
Oh yeah, that was great, but it's nice to be home.
Probably best you came home when you did.
Man, what's wrong with you?
I don't know.
Jillian's baking cookies and wants to spend time together.
Pssh!
Aw man, that's rough.
Swear she's not the same person I left.
Something happened while I was gone.
Maybe you shouldn't have left.
She was saying she was with someone while I was away?
I don't blame her.
If you up and left me...
I found a note.
You coulda left me a note before you left.
Sorry.
I shoulda told you I was leaving.
All right, was that so hard?
Want me to just ask Nicky what she knows about Jillian?
No, no, don't ask Nicole.
She'll tell Jill.
Then man up and ask her yourself.
I did.
She said that they're friends.
Yeah, that's never good.
Dude, this is not cool.
If Nicky finds out I'm here, she's not gonna be happy.
All I need is his address.
She's picking him up at seven.
Hurry!
I need a password.
Okay, we tried.
Let's go.
Oh, someone's coming.
Wait, I found the notes to her new book.
I don't even know what it's about.
Wait and read it when it comes out.
What should we say?
Uh, be cool.
We have every right to be here.
Uh, okay.
I'll do the talking.
Hey, uh, sorry.
Office is closed.
We're just here fixing
computer.
Oh, I just left my glasses here
and Ms. James said that she'd meet me.
- Oh, uh, yeah. - Uh...
Yeah, sorry, I don't, I don't see them.
Oh, that's okay.
I'll, I'll wait for her.
Oh.
Okay.
Right there, okay.
Uh, we're not expecting her anytime soon.
Oh, here it is.
Oh, my glasses?
Something about Henry, and me, and you.
About me?
Why would there be anything about you?
Oh, I'm Henry.
Hank's just a nickname.
You're Henry,
and you're being picked up at...
seven?
Oh, what's it say about me?
Oh, you don't wanna know.
Yuh-huh, I wanna see.
Similarities between training your husband and your puppy?
I think these are Nicole's books.
She must have borrowed them for George.
No, they're for us.
We've been trained.
I thought I had problems.
Hey!
Where are you going?
You're not leaving till I figure out
what's going on between you and my wife.
Your wife?
Yeah, I mean
how long you been seeing her?
Ms. James?
I don't know, maybe two or three months,
I mean, we actually--
...and your wife's brilliant.
Justin.
Aaron.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I just stopped by to check out a few things.
I just came by to get my glasses.
In my office?
Yeah, maybe you can help me.
Regarding what?
I can come back.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
Here you go.
Uh, see you next week?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you're not leaving.
Not until my wife tells me what's going on with you two.
Justin!
I don't know what you're talking about.
No, that's okay.
I will clear it up.
I, I'll see you next week.
Nah, that's okay, um, I can deal with my own stuff.
Justin!
Good news.
Henry's the dog, not the dude.
Okay, see, I,
I was gonna tell you about that.
Good.
You were gonna tell me that I was research
to see if I could be trained as well as your dog?
It's not like that.
Well, then what's it like, Jill?
'Cause I can't wait to hear.
Well, I, I'm
I'm researching the
the, the social compatibilities and differences
between the two species, okay?
If you think about it, it's...
Okay, I can see why you're confused, but it's
it's actually really funny.
You let me think there was another guy.
That was not my fault.
That just happened.
That, that was a mistake.
I was a wreck thinking of you with someone else.
I told you he was a friend.
That's, that's not a friend, that's a dog, Jill.
Why would you do that?
Okay, when you thought there was someone else,
did you-- - You think you know
all about men, don't you?
That we're just simple creatures?
We just go around peeing on whatever belongs to us?
Justin, I'm sorry.
It was just a complete misunderstanding.
Attuned to the emotional state of their masters,
they express contrition when the owner is annoyed,
and the capacity to express affection unconditionally
makes them a valued
companion.
Which one of us are you referencing here?
Yeah.
If Henry knew better, he'd be out, too.
No wait, Justin.
Please, come on, just...
Hey Justin, it's me.
Um, I'm sorry.
Can you please call me back?
Can we talk?
Okay, bye.
Hey.
Hey, come here, Henry.
I really messed this one up, huh?
Yeah, you did.
What are we gonna do, Henry?
I'd like to start today by getting to know you,
and what your goals are for our session,
but before I do, I'd like to record our sessions.
It gives us a reference to get back to.
Is that okay with you?
I guess so.
Why don't you tell me what's going on?
I've been married for 12 years.
Last five years have been downward spiral,
and I'm pretty sure
my husband is in a relationship
with other woman.
Have you asked him?
Ask him what?
If he's having an affair.
Don't care anymore.
I'm gonna ask you to give me three words
to describe what you would like your marriage to be like.
Different, that's all.
I'm gonna ask you to do some homework
before we have your husband come in.
Doubt he'll come.
Why not?
I'm not gonna ask him.
Why are you here, Joyce?
For me.
Fair enough.
We'll focus on you.
How could you let me do this to him?
You didn't do anything to him.
You made him some cookies.
No, I took his manhood.
I, I, I,
I turned him into whatever it is that I wanted him to be.
You didn't take his manhood.
He's still intact.
Would you sit down?
Look, all he wanted was to make me happy.
But you can't make someone happy, right?
I mean, I want him to be happy, but I wanna be happy too.
I...
It doesn't matter.
He's broken.
His pride might be a little broken, maybe.
That's all.
I'm not eating your cookies.
This has nothing to do with Justin.
Yes, it does.
I, I, I trained him, and now he's not even Justin anymore.
He's, he's
He's Aaron.
It never had anything to do with Justin or Aaron.
It's about you.
Yes, I know.
It's about what I did to Justin.
You're the one who changed, not Justin.
I can't believe you did this to me.
You're my best friend.
You were desperate,
and you wouldn't take my relationship advice.
That's not true.
I asked you and my grandmother.
Yeah, and we both told you, and you wouldn't listen.
Okay, just because you have a good marriage
doesn't make you an expert in relationships.
Oh, he was so mad at me, I...
Of course he was.
You tried to make him jealous of your dog.
Well
I
I was afraid that he was cheating on me.
I just
I wanted to get his attention.
Well, you got it.
I finally had him back, and now I lost him again.
You didn't lose him.
Give him a little while to blow off some steam.
They'll remember how good they had it.
I'm taking the bed tonight.
It's my bed.
Well, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.
You've forgotten.
It was your brilliant wife's idea that started this.
Hey, you can't talk about my wife like that.
Well, maybe you wanna sleep in a bed,
and be treated like a dog,
but not me. - No, it smells here,
and not like cookies.
Have you ever tasted Nicole's chocolate chip cookies?
Oh.
She gave Jillian the recipe.
I think the secrete ingredient's a drug.
They were drugging us to get us to do what they wanted.
You should see how Nicole treats our dogs.
Jill won't even drink out of the same glass as me,
but she picks up his poop.
You're actually jealous of your dog for real now?
Yeah, yeah I know,
and I know who's sleeping with Jill every night.
It's George, or Henry, whatever his name is.
I don't know if this helps,
but 40% of the dog owners
identify their dog as a family member,
meaning they're socially compatible.
Hm? No, it doesn't help.
I was treated amazing.
I ran away
to this.
I wanna go home.
Hey, hey, hey!
Be cool.
Can't just go home.
We have to go on our terms.
Really?
Do we?
'Cause after smelling your feet,
I think you should beg Jillian to take you back.
You may not have any dignity, but I do.
You can hold onto your dignity.
I'm going home to my wife and telling her I'm sorry.
What are you sorry for?
Doesn't matter.
Hey, babe.
Look so pretty
reading your little book.
Love you.
I'm sorry.
and I don't ever wanna leave.
Welcome home.
Mm.
You're gonna have to get them back together.
He's not as domesticated as I am.
♪ Oh how I love
♪ How the sun lays upon us
♪ Staining the inches of skin
♪ Oh, says the clouds
♪ As they whisper above us
♪ Oh, what a life it's been
There you are.
Boundaries, Mom!
You gave me a key.
Yes, for emergencies.
Well, you haven't answered the phone in days.
Well, I've been busy.
You look busy.
Things haven't been turning out the way I planned.
What's wrong with me?
Nothing's wrong with you.
I thought things were going so well.
Well, it was
until it wasn't.
So fix it.
I think it's too late.
Have you forgotten people come to you
for advice about relationships?
People all over the world read your books about them.
I can't imagine why.
I mean, my own husband won't even talk to me.
What, you're gonna let that stop you?
I don't know, maybe you were right.
Maybe I don't need anyone.
I've got Henry.
Why would you listen to me?
What do I know?
I just didn't want you to make the same mistakes I did.
You have to make your own mistakes.
Okay, where's my mother, and what have you done with her?
Well, I've been doing a bit of soul-searching.
I realized what I don't have.
We all want the ever-after,
People can change.
You wouldn't do what you do if you didn't believe that.
This isn't coming off.
What are we gonna do?
It's been on for like an hour now.
You're gonna need the sandblaster.
Probably.
Thank you.
You did it!
You have no idea how happy I am.
For you.
I'm, I'm
I'm happy for you.
Henry, up.
Henry, stand.
Well, I guess he's not feeling it today.
Well, this might be a good time to tell you
that we found a family for Henry.
They're gonna move into a house
with a fence and a big backyard.
I mean, I know that you only wanted to keep him
until he found a home, so...
Well, they can't have him.
I'm gonna keep him.
Well, I already promised him to them.
Well, I don't care.
I mean, he's mine.
I trained him.
Jill, it's not a big deal.
We'll get another one that looks just like him,
and I'll help you train him,
and honestly, it'll probably be better.
You can call him whatever you want:
George, Henry, Charles, who cares?
No, you can't replace him.
It's not, It's not that easy.
It wouldn't be the same.
Look, just tell them that
to get another dog.
Okay, I'll pay them whatever they want.
Look, they don't know him.
They wouldn't even know what he likes.
And you'd do anything to keep him?
I gotta go.
Henry, come on.
Come on.
Henry, come on.
Henry, let's go.
Let's go.
Okay, okay fine.
You know what?
I'll, I'll,
I'll do the running.
Patio Bistro.
Let's go home.
Come on.
Henry!
I'm sorry, can you give us a moment?
This isn't a good time.
You can't not talk to me forever.
Okay, why did you come down here?
I wanna explain.
And why were you treating me like a dog?
What do you mean?
Giving you positive reinforcement?
I mean, spending time with you, baking you cookies?
Exactly.
It was Nicole.
Still blaming other people.
Justin, wait.
Okay, um, thank you so much.
Oh yeah, no problem.
I'll speak to you soon.
Yeah, we'll talk soon.
All right, thanks.
She seems nice.
She is.
Are we done?
Almost.
Look, I want you to know I...
You weren't the one that was being trained.
It was me.
I never asked you to change.
I just
I had
I had this fantasy of what I thought I needed, and--
And I wasn't it.
It might be too late,
but I choose you.
If I had to do it all over again, I'd choose you.
You're the one I want.
Susan was offering me a job in the legal department.
You were jealous?
There's no one I'd rather be with.
My life is better with you than without you,
even as a dog.
I promise I won't leave you again.
So your second husband?
Yeah?
What would he look like?
Well, he's very handsome.
Oh yeah.
And he hardly wears a tie.
Oh, in that case.
What about a jacket?
Um,
meh.
'S what I thought.
Just to get one thing straight.
What?
We calling him George, or we calling him Henry?
Henry.
I'm so excited to have her back in studio.
It's Jillian James, and her new book is called
How to Pick Your Second Husband, get this, First.
Jillian, thank you, and you know what?
I'm excite to hear, how did you come up with this?
Well, if you read the first one,
this is all-new material
I found through a personal experience,
and I can't wait to share it with my readers.
You blew my mind.
I did read your first book, and I will tell you,
what's in here, this book is gonna change people's lives.
Am I right?
That's the idea.
It's not always about who you choose,
so choosing someone new
isn't necessarily gonna be the best answer.
Well, but in your previous book,
you did say that women are often smarter
when they're picking their second husband.
True/not true?
Uh, it might be true,
and if we treated our first husbands
the way we would treat our second,
and decided to hold on through the bumps,
it might just be the best decision for a lot of us.
Well, for so many considering divorce,
I'll tell you what, that might sting a little bit.
Mm, I know, but
the truth always does.
Jillian, thank you so much for being here,
and I can't wait to see what's next for you.
Ah, thank you so much for having me.
Oh, you were great.
Everything's exactly the same.
No, it's not.
We have three kids.
Oh.
It's entirely different.
You think dogs have it good?
Wait until you have kids.
You get moved to the bottom of the ladder.
The kids,
the dogs,
and me.
Nobody cares that you're on the bottom.
All they wanna know about
is whether I gave away Jillian and Justin's beloved Henry.
Did you?
No!
There were no owners.
I made it up.
You're awful.
I got them back together.
That's right.
Uh-huh.
- Aw. - Mm.
So we've expanded our family.
And Jill's using puppy therapy in her sessions now.
Yes, these little guys
help us focus on the relevant issues,
rather than fear or anger.
And Jill even comes with me
a couple times a year on my expeditions.
It's always an adventure.
I taught her how to jump once in a while,
and she taught me how to stay.
Okay, stop.
That's not funny.
It's funny, come on now.
Aw.