1 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,178 ("Flight of the Bumblebee" playing) 2 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,239 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,664 (door closes) 4 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,051 (pitcher slams) 5 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,038 (footsteps ascending stairs) 6 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:24,293 (door closes) 7 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:28,839 Is he... Is he coming back down? 8 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,050 I don't know. 9 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:36,096 Should we wait? 10 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,140 I don't know. 11 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,062 Can we sit? 12 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,356 I don't know. 13 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,399 (insects trilling) 14 00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:51,237 (birds tweeting) 15 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,374 -Susie. -Hmm? 16 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,584 -Susie. (clears throat) -What? 17 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,294 We're at your place. 18 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,088 (grunts) We fell asleep. 19 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,215 Oh. I had a really weird dream. 20 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,384 Hopefully no one else is up. 21 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,720 I was ice-skating and I got attacked by a giant beaver. 22 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,472 My neck feels weird. 23 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,932 Is that sexual? 24 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,393 I guess my father never came back down. 25 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:25,229 Guess not. (chuckles) 26 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,772 What? 27 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,482 "Having sex with his mind 28 00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,651 so she didn't have to think about his penis." 29 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,653 So ballsy. 30 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,113 You should go. 31 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,990 Mm. Good luck. 32 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,368 Aw, damn. 33 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:40,703 What? 34 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,454 I left Pamela in your dad's car. 35 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,789 -Who? -My plunger. 36 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,124 You named it? 37 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,750 I'm spending a lot of time alone up here. 38 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,002 Go without it. 39 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,837 Fine. 40 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,300 (door opens) 41 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:57,428 -(door closes) -(sighs) 42 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,638 (birds chirping, dog barking in distance) 43 00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:07,146 WOMAN: Susie! Susie! 44 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,357 -MAN: Susie! -WOMAN: Susie! 45 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:13,068 (indistinct shouting) 46 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,570 WOMAN: Eyes up. 47 00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,822 MAN: Clear all channels. Quarter hour report. 48 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,241 Team One, check in. Team One, over. 49 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,452 WOMAN 2 (over walkie): Team One, nothing here. Over. 50 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,412 Team One, coordinate with the maritime crew and report back. 51 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,080 -Over. -Copy. 52 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,999 Team Two, check in. Team Two, over. 53 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,959 MAN 2 (over walkie): Team Two. Nothing to report, Oliver. 54 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,170 -Team Two, over. -Team Three, report. 55 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,006 -Team Three. Over. -Oliver. No sign of her to the northeast. 56 00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,508 Okay, let's reposition the northeast teams to the west. 57 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,510 Team Three, what's your current position? Over. 58 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:42,139 -Hey, guys. -(gasps) -Susie! We found her! 59 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,350 -Hey, everyone! We found Susie! -(cheering) 60 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,393 -We were so worried. -We were losing our minds. 61 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,187 OLIVER: All teams, stand down. 62 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,773 I repeat, stand down. She's home. 63 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,358 Are you okay? Are you injured? 64 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,734 -Uh, no, no, I'm fine. -Team Four. Team Four. 65 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:55,444 -No injuries. -Oh, thank God. 66 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,279 Let's get a blanket on her, and get her in a chair. 67 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,906 OLIVER: Anyone know where Team Four is? 68 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,491 I've lost radio contact. 69 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,159 WOMAN: There is no Team Four. 70 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,119 You always walk around like that? 71 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,746 Here's some soup. Sip it slow. 72 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:07,373 You've got to get your strength back. 73 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,625 Yeah, well, lentil's not my favorite, but sure. 74 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,251 -(radio static) -It's the other teams. 75 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,296 They want to hear your voice for themselves. 76 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,590 Uh, hey, teams. 77 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:19,510 It was all a bit harrowing, but I'm okay. 78 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:23,138 Nothing injured but my pride and, uh, a little bit my elbow. 79 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,598 Soup's helping. 80 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,642 (cheering over walkie) 81 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:29,395 You made their day, Susie. 82 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,897 Always happy to help. 83 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,193 So you missed some excitement at Polynesian night. 84 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,695 Oh, yeah? What happened? 85 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,197 Fran Zimmerman knocked over a can of Sterno 86 00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:41,991 and lit her grass skirt on fire. 87 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,118 It took nine coconuts to put her out. 88 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,744 Wow. 89 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,413 Anything wrong? 90 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,541 No, just... Have you seen Papa today? 91 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,168 No. He came in very late from wherever he was last night, 92 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,254 and was asleep when I got up. Why? 93 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,755 Hello, all. 94 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,007 -Hi, Mom. (smooches) -Mmm. 95 00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,800 -Midget. -Morning. 96 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,218 No food for you, Astrid? 97 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,721 Oh, no. I'm fasting for Tisha B'Av. 98 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,389 Tisha B'Av. Really? 99 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,349 It's considered the saddest day in Jewish history. 100 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:08,559 It's got competition. 101 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,102 My fast started at sunset. 102 00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:12,187 That's why you missed me at Polynesian night. 103 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,189 You weren't at Polynesian night? 104 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,899 Where's Abe? Working off a hangover? 105 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,152 He'll be here, Moishe. He's just running a little late. 106 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,571 -(screams) -Oh, you scared me. 107 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,156 I'm sorry, Shirley. For a second there I thought 108 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,491 -you were a bear. -What's wrong with you, honey? 109 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,244 -Besides what we already knew. -She's fasting, Shirley. 110 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:29,288 Yeah, that's why I wasn't at Polynesian night. 111 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,206 You weren't at Polynesian night? 112 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,083 Hey, guys. Okay if I join? 113 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,418 Go ahead, sit. 114 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:37,254 -Is it okay, Noah? -It's a free country. 115 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,256 ROSE: I don't know what's keeping Abe. 116 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,383 -He's usually up so early. -MOISHE: Right. 117 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:44,261 Running around in that funny little romper of his. 118 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,305 -His what? -SHIRLEY: (laughs) Rosie, don't play dumb. 119 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,266 We've all seen Abe in his little romper; it's hysterical. 120 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,101 MOISHE: And so formfitting. 121 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:53,604 Every cut of the mohel's knife on vivid display. 122 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,605 Please don't let him hear you 123 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,482 talking about his romper, Moishe. 124 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,193 -You're not eating, Astrid? -No, I'm not. 125 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:02,154 -I'm fasting for Tisha B'Av. -What's that again? 126 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,656 It's a day in remembrance of the destruction of the First 127 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,909 and Second Temples, but I guess no one else gives a shit. 128 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,160 -Astrid. -Sorry. Sorry. 129 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,453 Ah, no, I'm sorry. 130 00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:10,913 Yeah, you've got a lot to be sorry for, buddy. 131 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,623 Noah, what can I do here, huh? 132 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:13,957 MIDGE: Guys, stop. 133 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,501 These were important fucking temples. 134 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,086 I don't know what you can do, Joel. 135 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,629 How about invent a time machine? 136 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,589 -Undo what you did. -Stop, please. 137 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,341 Maybe we should take this away from the table. 138 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,134 What, so you can beat me up? No, thanks. 139 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,220 -I couldn't beat you up. -I'm completely out of shape. 140 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:27,971 I'm sore from playing horseshoes. 141 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,641 What are you, competing for the Biggest Steiner Sissy sash? 142 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:31,892 Abe. 143 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:34,478 MOISHE: There he is, Mr. Sunshine. 144 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,188 Sit down, Abe. 145 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,689 Papa, do you want to sit here? 146 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,985 No, I'm going to sit over here. 147 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,740 Move, move, move, move. 148 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,159 I know that look. And Abe, I can help. 149 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:51,370 I've got Ex-Lax back in the room, boxes of it. 150 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,288 -He eats 'em like candy. -I don't need a laxative, 151 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,874 Moishe; I'm very regular, thank you. 152 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,459 Whew. All this talk is making me hungry. 153 00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:58,710 SAMUEL: Morning, Mr. Weissman. 154 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,337 I have your tomato juice. 155 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,047 I won't be having any. 156 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,298 Sir? 157 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,008 I won't be having any. 158 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,218 Yes, sir. 159 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,929 He turned down tomato juice. 160 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,473 Are you all right, Abe? Y-You don't feel warm. 161 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,642 I just don't want a glass of tomato juice, okay? 162 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,310 Is that such a shock? 163 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,311 MAN (over P.A.): Attention, Steiner diners. 164 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:17,604 Good news. 165 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,940 The missing plumber has been found. 166 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,942 I repeat, the missing plumber has been found. 167 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,405 So it's a beautiful day outside and I thought, 168 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,532 why not stay inside and bowl? 169 00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:31,243 -Anyone want to tag along? -ABE: Bowling? 170 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,997 No, Joel. No one here wants to go bowling. 171 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,582 I'm missing something. What's wrong, Abe? 172 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,333 NOAH: What's wrong? A lot of us 173 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,627 are still processing this thing you did to my sister, okay? 174 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:44,506 This isn't about their breakup, Noah. No. 175 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:47,259 That was centuries ago. 176 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,344 Many things have happened since. 177 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:52,097 Many suns have risen 178 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,559 and many have set. 179 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,436 He's lost his mind. 180 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,229 Like he's swallowed Gandhi. 181 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,272 Papa... 182 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,690 Why is everyone so focused on me? 183 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,442 -MIDGE: Papa... -I'm trying to eat. 184 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,818 Papa! 185 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,862 Porch. 186 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,658 What is this about? 187 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,328 I probably said something at some point that put him off. 188 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,330 In fact, I know I did. 189 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,707 I'll fix it. Eat. Eat. 190 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,792 She knows I'm fasting. 191 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,754 Why would she say that? 192 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,344 MIDGE: You must have a lot of questions. 193 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,221 ABE: You know, I woke up several times in the night 194 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,098 thinking I'd imagined what I saw. 195 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:38,727 Maybe someone slipped something into my drink. Lysergic acid. 196 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,730 That's a drug that makes you hallucinate. 197 00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,316 See colors, monsters... 198 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,610 Daughters saying horrible things on a showroom stage 199 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,445 in front of a thousand people. 200 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,364 It's impossible, what I saw. 201 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,282 It's not. You saw it. 202 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,993 It was me. 203 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,084 Is this a hobby? 204 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,585 It's a profession. 205 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,087 And you make money from this? 206 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,505 A little. Not enough. 207 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,839 But that's the plan. 208 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,216 You want to be Milton Berle. 209 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,259 God, no. 210 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,927 Then whom? 211 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,596 I don't know... Me. 212 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,014 You're already you. 213 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,641 It's all me. 214 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:20,519 And the arrests? 215 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,063 -How did you know about that? -Never mind how I know. 216 00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:25,774 What did you do to get arrested? Twice. 217 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,110 They said misdemeanors, but that could be many things. 218 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,861 -Was it gambling? -No. 219 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,446 -Did you break in somewhere? -Yes. 220 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,615 I'm the notorious cat burglar of the Upper West Side. 221 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,909 -So you won't tell me. -No. 222 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,954 My God, the first time we brought you here, 223 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,540 I was carrying you. 224 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,834 -Who was that woman? -What woman? 225 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,669 The woman with us in the car last night. 226 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:47,462 Oh... I'm so used to people thinking she's a guy, 227 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,131 I didn't know who you were talking about. 228 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,300 -She's clearly a woman. -Her name's Susie. 229 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,926 She's my manager. 230 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,470 -She doesn't look professional. -She's very professional. 231 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,097 Her appearance just doesn't reflect it yet. 232 00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,391 She was carrying a toilet plunger. 233 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,435 -It's part of her act. -She's a comedian, too? 234 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,937 No, she's sort of pretending to be an employee here. 235 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,230 My head is spinning. 236 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,523 Let me get you a tomato juice. 237 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,317 You've ruined tomato juice for me. 238 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,776 -You don't mean that. -It's ruined. 239 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,153 Who wants to pick a card? 240 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,530 Get the fuck away from us! 241 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,829 In a way, I'm glad this happened. 242 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,289 Really? 243 00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,291 I want people to know. Mama should know. 244 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,084 -It's time. -No. 245 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,627 I don't want to hide it anymore. 246 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,671 I've been trying to find a way to tell you all. 247 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:30,964 And what if you don't stick with it? 248 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,466 Why put her through this tsuris? 249 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,759 I'm sticking with it. 250 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,385 Like you stuck with your marriage? 251 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,471 That's not fair. Joel left me. 252 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:38,972 You were going to get back together. 253 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,432 You made a point of telling me. 254 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:41,808 We decided not to. 255 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,435 Are you seeing the flip-flops here? 256 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,771 It was more like he flipped, I flopped. 257 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,647 Well, I can't keep falling behind 258 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,400 and playing catch-up on your life, Miriam. 259 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,277 I need some control over this. 260 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,530 -So what do you want me to do? -I want you to lie low. 261 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,616 Do not tell your mother or anyone else 262 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,951 about this absurd thing you're doing. 263 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,995 I'll let you know when the time is right. 264 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,705 I'd like to tell her when we get back to the city. 265 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,248 No, when we get back, we unpack. 266 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,500 We'll unpack either way. 267 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,418 No, if everyone gets distracted, 268 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,504 we won't unpack, and suitcases and boxes 269 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,589 will be crowding the place for weeks. 270 00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:15,634 -I can't live like that. -Fine, then after we unpack. 271 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,676 And get past Hanukkah. 272 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,012 Hanukkah? That's months away. 273 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,597 You want to spoil your mother's Hanukkah by telling her 274 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,307 you're pursuing a life as a foul-mouthed comic? 275 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,352 My act's not all foul. You came on a blue night. 276 00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,062 Miriam, you owe me. 277 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:30,357 Now lay low and don't tell anyone 278 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,818 until I decide the time is right. 279 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,987 I. Me. Your father. 280 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,409 All right. I'll lay low. 281 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,661 (sighs) 282 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,163 Now I have to go apologize to the tumbler. 283 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,666 He's an innocent in all this. 284 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,006 He hit birdies on five of his last six holes. 285 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,800 -Isn't that somethin'? -That is somethin'. 286 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,010 -You play golf, Joel. -Actually, I don't. 287 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,805 And there was this kid, this 19-year-old, Jack Nicklaus. 288 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:04,516 He's gonna give Arnold Palmer a run for his money one day. 289 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,518 -But you follow golf. -Actually, I don't. 290 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,770 I'm gonna get you on the links this year, buddy. 291 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,523 -Nothing's gonna stop me. -Marv really wants to golf with you, Joel. 292 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,816 Excuse me, guys. 293 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:14,234 Uh, Joel, there's something up with the kids. 294 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,236 It's time-sensitive. Will you excuse us? 295 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:18,238 Of course. Hope everything's all right. 296 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,324 -Was it Midge who played golf? -What's wrong with the kids? 297 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,826 Nothing. 298 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,953 I'm buying you an ice cream. 299 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,414 Single vanilla. 300 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,458 So, breakfast was tense. 301 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,377 No, Hiroshima was tense; breakfast was worse. 302 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,503 What happened? 303 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,672 Papa showed up at the Concord, 304 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,633 and I was... on stage. 305 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,927 -Whoa. -Yeah. Big whoa. 306 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,763 -When? How? -I'm not even sure what brought him there. 307 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,433 Fate. The gods. When I was four, I took two lollipops 308 00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:49,186 when the rabbi told me to take one, and this is my punishment? 309 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,687 You want me to talk to him? I mean, 310 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,689 -we're the only two who know, right? -It won't help. 311 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,940 He just needs time. 312 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,150 Thank you. 313 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:59,029 So, how was the gig? 314 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,739 Oh. 315 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,866 We're having that conversation? 316 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,368 Yeah, we are. 317 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:06,995 Well, I... 318 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,206 spotted Papa almost from the get-go, 319 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,249 but I had to keep going. 320 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,251 I... said things, 321 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,253 things I barely remember. 322 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,756 I heard laughs. Some pretty big laughs. 323 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,841 Kind of wish I was there. 324 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,301 Yeah. 325 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,930 I should go. Thank you for the ice cream. 326 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,890 Thanks for getting the Feinburgs off me. 327 00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:29,768 -They should invent a spray for that. -Yeah. They should. 328 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,603 (door creaks open) 329 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,188 (door closes) 330 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,440 ♪ ♪ 331 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,695 I've got water in my ear. 332 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:43,073 Tilt your head and hop up and down. 333 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:46,368 There's a couple of spots open; you can go on in. 334 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,370 Eh, I'm gonna wait. I've already experienced 335 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,122 a couple of shower mishaps, and it's best to be safe. 336 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,999 -Mishaps? -I accidentally walked into the men's 337 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,086 just as the tummler was bent over to pick up his soap. 338 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,421 I can't unsee that. Also, nobody sees this. 339 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,632 I don't ever even look. So I'm good. 340 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,801 Worked. See you in a bit. 341 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,678 Mm. 342 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,931 -Good night, Susie. -Night, Susie. 343 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,933 -Night, Susie. -Hello. -Night, guys. 344 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,644 Gonna be a hot one tomorrow. Dress accordingly. 345 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,272 -See you, Susie. -Good night, Susie. -Good night, Susie. 346 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,107 WOMAN: Good night, Susie. 347 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,193 -Did she quit? Was she fired? -Oh! Mystery! 348 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,862 Old lady Steiner did one of her white-glove inspections today. 349 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,240 -I wish she'd announce those. -That woman scares me. 350 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,783 She's actually really nice. 351 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,952 She came to visit when I was in the infirmary. 352 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,662 Oh. Susie, you can put your ditty bag 353 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,664 in the space under my bed if you want. 354 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,583 (snickers) What did you call it? 355 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,543 A ditty bag. What do you call it? 356 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,295 -My shit. -(laughter) 357 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,422 Susie, you're a gas! 358 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,841 So, Sally and I saw you talking to Felix tonight, Laura. 359 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,677 -Oh. Do tell. -He asked me to pass the salt. 360 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:48,513 -It was hardly talking. -We saw you blush from across the room. 361 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,098 You were redder than the ketchup. 362 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,391 He is so handsome. 363 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,018 And so single. 364 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,103 You guys are talking about the same Felix, right? 365 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,397 Teaches ballet? Walks around in a leotard all day? 366 00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,774 -That's him. -Mm-hmm. -Guys, you know he's a... 367 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,653 -Never mind. -WOMAN (over P.A.): Attention, employees, 368 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,989 it's lights out. See you tomorrow. 369 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,365 Season's just about over. 370 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,326 It feels like it just started. 371 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,370 -This might be my last stint in the Catskills. -Deecy, no! 372 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,080 No, no, it's good. If the singing career's 373 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,916 gonna happen, I just got to get out there and do it. 374 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,419 You can totally do it, Deecy. You've got a fantastic voice. 375 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,046 -Like Rosemary Clooney. -Better. 376 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,756 I'm gonna be the next Lucille Ball. 377 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,966 -Oh, no doubt, Sally. -You're a born comedienne. 378 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,052 And just so you guys know, when I get famous, 379 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,928 I'm not taking any of you with me. 380 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,805 -(laughter) -DEECY: She is so funny. 381 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,098 Look out, Lucille Ball. 382 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,892 -I'm Broadway bound. -Oh, I saw her do 383 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,769 Doll's House in high school. She made me cry. 384 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,355 -Your father's a big producer, right? -Yeah, but I'm changing 385 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,231 my last name so that when I make it, 386 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,816 I know I made it on my own. 387 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,360 How about our resident poet? 388 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,070 You're, like, the next Emily Dickinson, Pearl. 389 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,656 You're all invited to my Pulitzer ceremony. 390 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,449 (laughter) 391 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,451 You know none of that's gonna happen, right? 392 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,789 Especially the poet. 393 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,087 Night, everybody. 394 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,755 -Night. -Yeah. -Good night. 395 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,882 -Night. -SUSIE: And whichever one of you 396 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:08,385 is gonna change your name, don't. 397 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:11,096 Use that shit. 398 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,847 MAN (over P.A.): A reminder that swim trunks 399 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,684 and bathing suits must be worn at all times in the lake, 400 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,268 even after dark. 401 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,145 If you're afraid, son, then be so, 402 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,439 because here comes a classic knockdown, 403 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,776 courtesy of Sir Isaac Newton's first and second laws of motion. 404 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,112 Okay. But the gravity weight's changing as it glides. 405 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,239 And the surface of the table is modulating 406 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,241 with the humidity in the room. 407 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,159 (chuckles) Have fun with that. 408 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:36,579 Son, be an object in motion, won't you? Give me my space. 409 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,748 Wimpy Bernstein! How they hangin'? 410 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,917 A little lower this year, I think. 411 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:43,169 How do Jews mark the passage of time? 412 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,171 We don't count the rings of a tree. 413 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,215 We mention the distance from the floor 414 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,008 to Wimpy Bernstein's schnutz! 415 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,678 (laughing) 416 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,347 -(bowling pins crashing) -Ah-ha-ha-ha! 417 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683 Oh. Here's the life of the party. 418 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,685 Hey, Pop. Pull up a stool. 419 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,687 -Who's your friend? -Not a friend. 420 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,689 -Could be your friend. -I'm not disagreeing, Pop. 421 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,274 Come on. 422 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,860 OLIVER: Phone call! Phone call! 423 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:10,488 Oh, God, now Moishe's gonna sit there on the phone and yammer on 424 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,158 -like a complete yutz. -Phone call for Abe Weissman. 425 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,160 -Oh. It's for me? -Better get it, Abe. 426 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,287 Could be one or your egghead professor friends 427 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,873 wondering how to zip his fly. Isn't that what happens? 428 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,458 You know calculus and physics 429 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,585 but forget how to put your pants on? 430 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,670 -(Moishe laughing) -Hello? 431 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,133 What? What? 432 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,552 You're stuck in the dugout, slugger. Get in there. 433 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,220 -Pop. -Come on. She's your type: 434 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:37,515 she's cute, she's quiet, she knows how to read. 435 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,435 Fine. I'll go where my matchmaking skills 436 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,062 -are appreciated. -You do that. 437 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,692 (chuckles softly) 438 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,324 -Anything interesting? -Not really. 439 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,701 I'm sick of Eddie Fisher. I'm sick of Elizabeth Taylor. 440 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,953 Pretty soon they'll be sick of each other, right? 441 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,790 (chuckles) Here's hoping. 442 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,792 So, I've seen you bowl. 443 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,794 -You're good. -I'm okay. 444 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,796 No, you're really good, like a professional. 445 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,715 Well, I'm no Dick Weber, but I hold my own. 446 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,760 What's with the shooting stars? 447 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,553 There's a meteor shower tonight. 448 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,388 It's supposed to be really neat. 449 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,057 -Are you going? -Into space? 450 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,184 (laughs) To the viewing party, silly. 451 00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,228 Out on the lawn. I'm going. 452 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,480 You should go. 453 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,315 Maybe. 454 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,484 Thank you, Franklin. Thank you so much. 455 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,152 See you soon. Bye. 456 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,073 Okay. Okay, catching my breath here. 457 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,867 -What is it, Pop? -That was the director of Bell Labs 458 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,495 calling to tell me that they have officially okayed 459 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,997 -the funding for my project. -Wow, that's huge! 460 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,958 -Congratulations! -This never happens 461 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,376 after such a short tenure. 462 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,086 It's a giant vote of confidence. 463 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,088 Don't be so surprised, Pop. You're a big shot. 464 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,757 They want me to come in to discuss it in person, today. 465 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,551 -They want me there today. -Well, get going. 466 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,594 Let's see, I've got to get the car pulled around. 467 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,556 -I should stop home and put on a suit. -Got to look your best. 468 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,225 -Hey. Come with me. -Oh, I don't want to get 469 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,102 -in the way. -You won't be in the way. 470 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,604 Come. See my office. See your father the macher. 471 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,147 We'll have dinner after. 472 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,649 -Someplace nice? -With champagne. 473 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,901 -Let's do it. -Rose! Rose, I got picked. 474 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,779 My project at Bell Labs is funded, it's going forward. 475 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,657 -Papa, that's great. -Oh! Yes, it is. 476 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,118 We're, uh, we're going to the city, Noah and me. 477 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,995 We'll be back tomorrow morning. 478 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,330 The average IQ of Steiner guests will drop for a day, 479 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,375 but we'll get by with our brute strength and street smarts. 480 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,295 We have to leave immediately. 481 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,130 -Go. Go. -Jimmy! Jimmy! 482 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,756 Where is that boy when you need him? 483 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,633 -I'm right here, Mr. Weissman. -SHIRLEY: Mah-jongg. 484 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,137 WOMAN: That's just not right. 485 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,139 -ROSE: Shirley? -What? 486 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,057 Have you moved since last night? 487 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,893 -Nope. -Not even to go to the bathroom? 488 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,561 -Nope. -Do you think this is wise? 489 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,188 Hey, we're not playing for 3-In-One Oil here. 490 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,399 This is for money. Do you understand? 491 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,068 Serious money. Now go away. Go away! 492 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,070 -WOMAN: Who were they? -They're nobody. Ignore them. 493 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,031 She's the only person whose disposition worsens 494 00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,949 -in the fresh air. -Mm-hmm. 495 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,703 (laughs) 496 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,705 -Miriam? -Hmm? 497 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:08,166 MAN (over P.A.): Miriam Maisel, please come to building 15B. 498 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,336 Miriam Maisel, please come to building 15B. 499 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,087 -Where's that? -Not sure. I'll go check. 500 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,714 -I'll see you at the cottage. -Okay. 501 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,716 (bowling pins crashing) 502 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,304 (people singing in distance) 503 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:23,097 Hey. What's up? 504 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,933 Got some good news, finally. 505 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,935 Hit me with it. What's going on in there? 506 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,603 Oh, it's rehearsals for the employee show. 507 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,229 Apparently, it's been a Steiner Resort tradition 508 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,689 for a thousand years. 509 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,441 Right. They put it on the last day. 510 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,276 I always have such mixed feelings about it. 511 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,320 I love the show, but it means summer's over. 512 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. One of the girls in my cabin, Laura? 513 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,157 She comes from a big New York showbiz family. 514 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,034 I clawed some info on a contact from her, 515 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,869 and I booked you another gig. 516 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,287 She's even lending me her car. 517 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,123 -Oh. -What's wrong? That's good. 518 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:52,377 Well, I kind of told my fath... 519 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,545 Nothing. Let's do it. 520 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,547 Great. Okay, so meet me back here again tomorrow at 9:00. 521 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,091 -Okay. -STEVIE: Mrs. Maisel. 522 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,259 Anything I can help you with? 523 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,512 No, Stevie. I'm fine, thanks. 524 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:06,766 It's unusual to see a guest in the employee area. 525 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,977 Well, I was out taking a walk, and ran into one 526 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,437 of your ace plumbers here, so I thought I'd tell her about 527 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,272 a little issue with the cottage, cut out the middleman. 528 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,691 Yeah, I'm taking care of it, Stevie. 529 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,275 Have plunger, will travel. 530 00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:20,571 All right, well, uh, any way I can help, please call. 531 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,657 -(chuckles) -I will. 532 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,785 She has a disgusting rash on her back. 533 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,787 Susie, how would you even know that? 534 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,206 Seen her in the shower. Part of it's oozing. 535 00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:32,417 Why do you have to ruin Stevie for me? 536 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,168 Sorry. Thought it was interesting. 537 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,795 I've got to get going. 538 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,588 Hey, how did you get your plunger back? 539 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,424 I didn't. Kids here, they got two cents between them, 540 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,259 but they all pitched in and got me a brand-new one. 541 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:45,054 So thoughtful. Just makes me hate my own family even more. 542 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:47,098 -See you tomorrow. -See you. 543 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,229 It's Speech Synthesis. 544 00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:55,273 Speech Synthesis? 545 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:58,151 MACHINE: Hello. Hello. 546 00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,777 -Fascinating. -It'll go way beyond 547 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,362 just the production of words. 548 00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:04,157 The machine itself will eventually know what to say. 549 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:07,285 We are talking artificial intelligence. 550 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,703 The future is now. 551 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,121 There are applications in cryptography, 552 00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,540 satellite communications... 553 00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,126 God, I'd love to tell you more about it, 554 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,253 but I think I've said all I can to someone 555 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:19,172 without the proper security clearance. 556 00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:21,632 It's pretty high-up stuff, son. 557 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,134 I hope you understand. 558 00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:24,802 I get it, Pop. A secret's a secret. 559 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,763 -Afternoon, Abe. -ABE: Devlin. Ah. 560 00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,681 Devlin's my mechanical engineer. A real whiz. 561 00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:30,558 Devlin, this is my son Noah. 562 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,643 I figured as much. Abe's been talking about you non-stop. 563 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,020 Well, it's in his genetic profiling 564 00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:35,229 to boast about his offspring. 565 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:36,981 Nice meeting you. 566 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,275 Great guy. You would love working with him. 567 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,110 -Oh, I'm sure I would. -Come on. 568 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,154 Let me show you more of the place. 569 00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:45,907 Gentlemen, my son Noah. 570 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:48,993 -Hi. -I-A-I-B-I-D. 571 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:51,370 I insisted they let me recruit my own team, 572 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:53,289 because I wanted a certain diversity. 573 00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:55,666 -I almost hired a woman. -Good for you, Pop. 574 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,919 But we're always on the lookout for new talent. 575 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,296 People like you. Lester, meet my son. 576 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:02,507 Ah, the famous Noah Weissman. 577 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,217 -Nice meeting you. -Same here. 578 00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,636 You haven't been boring people about me, have you, Pop? 579 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,179 Me? Maybe a little. 580 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,306 Ah, Charles. Just the man I wanted to see. 581 00:23:10,348 --> 00:23:12,058 What's up, Abe? 582 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:14,185 -Here he is. -I'll add some specifics. 583 00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,603 I'm Noah Weissman. 584 00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:18,106 The famous Noah Weissman. (chuckles) 585 00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:20,900 Abe has raised you to me so many times, I've lost count. 586 00:23:20,942 --> 00:23:22,318 You shouldn't do that, Pop, really. 587 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,320 Of course I should. They need you here. 588 00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:26,114 Charles, I want you to sit down with Noah today. 589 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:29,367 I'd love to, Abe, but I'm jammed with meetings. 590 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,370 Sure, but carve some time out for him as a favor to me. 591 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,871 Really, Pop, if he's busy... 592 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,498 Too busy to meet a prospective Bell Labs star? 593 00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:37,291 Of course he's not. 594 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,794 Abe, this is something that is not going to happen today. 595 00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:43,256 But it's why I brought Noah down here. 596 00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,507 It's not going to happen. 597 00:23:44,549 --> 00:23:45,758 Really, Charles, 598 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,803 if you value our relationship... 599 00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:52,223 Abe, let's take this into a secure room. 600 00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:54,308 A secure room? 601 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:56,060 (lock buzzes) 602 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,396 -Have a seat, please. -All right. 603 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:01,649 But, Charles, I'm very confused here. 604 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:04,277 -Why in the world are we... -(lock buzzes) 605 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:06,654 Fellas, this is Dabney Franklin, head of security. 606 00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:09,073 Yes, Dabney, I've seen you around the office, 607 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:11,409 but why is the head of security here? 608 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,536 -Well, Abe, I'm afraid we... -(lock buzzes) 609 00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:15,538 Come on in, Bob. This is Bob Jackson, 610 00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:18,166 -head of our in-house counsel. -Yes, hello. 611 00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,585 Okay, why is someone from Legal here? 612 00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:23,087 -I don't-- For Pete's sake! -(lock buzzes) 613 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:24,714 Abe, this is Martin Cummings 614 00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,340 with our Government Liaison Department, 615 00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:28,009 and I've asked Devlin here as a witness. 616 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,844 -Witness? -Hello again. 617 00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:32,221 What-what the hell is going on? 618 00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,806 This is a little awkward, Abe, 619 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:35,933 but I'm afraid your actions forced the issue. 620 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,852 -What actions? -Well, you've been pressing so hard 621 00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:39,270 about your son coming on board 622 00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:40,730 that I need to tell you something. 623 00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:42,982 Noah can't work at Bell Labs. 624 00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,984 -What? -The job you keep pushing him for, 625 00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:46,235 it's not gonna happen. 626 00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:48,237 But he's so qualified. 627 00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:50,865 He graduated top of his class at MIT 628 00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:53,868 and he's a top researcher and he's barely 30. 629 00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:55,036 He's more than that, Abe. 630 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:57,246 No, I'm quite sure he's 30. 631 00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:59,332 He's more than a researcher, Abe. 632 00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:01,334 This is why we brought you to a secure room. 633 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,044 We're gonna let you know a couple of things 634 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,463 that a man so far down the totem pole such as yourself 635 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,506 normally wouldn't be privy to. Martin? 636 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,759 Your son is involved in a highly classified project 637 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,802 for the United States government. 638 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,596 (chuckles): That's not true. 639 00:25:13,638 --> 00:25:15,973 -Is it? -CHARLES: At the highest levels. 640 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,351 MARTIN: He let me know a few weeks ago that you 641 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:20,895 were pushing for him to come here, bandying his name about. 642 00:25:20,937 --> 00:25:22,897 -You talked to them? -CHARLES: He didn't have a choice, Abe. 643 00:25:22,939 --> 00:25:24,899 You were so vocal about it. So persistent. 644 00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,817 But now you know. It's not going to happen, 645 00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,486 there should be no more mention of this, 646 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,238 and thank you for your time. 647 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,949 No, wait, I have a security clearance. 648 00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:35,117 I think I deserve to know more. 649 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:37,370 I'm going to be frank with you, Abe. 650 00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:39,497 Your clearance level is extremely low. 651 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:42,124 It allows you to see some non-consequential documents, 652 00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,961 but its level is not much above, say, the janitorial staff. 653 00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:47,505 Theirs may be higher, what with the disposal of documents, 654 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:49,423 the shredding. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the janitors 655 00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:51,509 have a higher security clearance than you. 656 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:55,221 What is this project that's so high-profile? 657 00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:56,847 Noah? 658 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,933 Sorry, Pop. 659 00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:01,102 A secret's a secret. 660 00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,813 CHARLES: We're gonna debrief Noah a bit on what happened today, Abe. 661 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,773 Then you two can get back to your vacation. 662 00:26:05,815 --> 00:26:07,191 Meaning? 663 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,818 We need the room. 664 00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:10,778 (lock buzzes) 665 00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:14,949 ("You Always Hurt the One You Love" by Mills Brothers playing) 666 00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:19,453 ♪ You always hurt ♪ 667 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:23,708 ♪ The one you love ♪ 668 00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:26,919 ♪ The one you shouldn't hurt ♪ 669 00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:28,546 -♪ At all ♪ -(knocking) 670 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:30,298 It's after 7:00, Pop. 671 00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:31,882 Mm-hmm. 672 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,801 Isn't it time for the celebratory dinner? 673 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:35,970 -Your project was approved. -Not hungry. 674 00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:39,849 ♪ The sweetest rose ♪ 675 00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:41,851 ♪ And crush it ♪ 676 00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:44,854 ♪ Till the petals ♪ 677 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:48,107 ♪ Fall ♪ 678 00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:51,527 This is a beautiful clear night to view a meteor shower, folks. 679 00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:53,321 This will be a Perseid cloud, 680 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:56,032 courtesy of your friendly neighborhood comet, 681 00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:57,366 Swift-Tuttle. 682 00:26:57,408 --> 00:26:59,243 We'll be gazing to the north here, 683 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:03,247 and we're looking at a five to seven minute event duration. 684 00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:05,041 ♪ You always take ♪ 685 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:07,460 Well. Hi, neighbor. 686 00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:08,669 Hi, neighbor. 687 00:27:08,711 --> 00:27:10,087 Fan of meteors, are you? 688 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,339 Ever since Swift married Tuttle 689 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:13,049 and changed her name to Swift-Tuttle. 690 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,842 I was at the wedding. Didn't think it would last. 691 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:16,677 Swift is so much taller than him. 692 00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,637 I didn't know you were coming back. 693 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:21,265 I wasn't, but I had made an appointment at the hair salon 694 00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:23,768 before I left, and they don't do refunds for cancellations. 695 00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:26,020 -Ah. -I'm very cheap. 696 00:27:26,062 --> 00:27:28,230 Sure. 697 00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:30,483 We can sit together, you know. 698 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:31,692 I didn't want to presume. 699 00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:34,570 ♪ If I broke ♪ 700 00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:39,075 ♪ Your heart last night it's because ♪ 701 00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,702 So you like nerdy stuff like this? 702 00:27:41,744 --> 00:27:43,287 Dr. Fleischer is nerdy. 703 00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,705 The cosmos is not nerdy. 704 00:27:44,747 --> 00:27:46,624 The cosmos is wonderful. 705 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:49,210 I wasn't saying it wasn't. I love the cosmos. 706 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:50,795 Are you cold? 707 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,797 A little. 708 00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:55,049 ♪ The one ♪ 709 00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:57,385 ♪ You shouldn't hurt at all ♪ 710 00:27:57,426 --> 00:27:59,595 -Better? -Better. 711 00:27:59,637 --> 00:28:01,222 FLEISCHER: Here's our first show now, folks. 712 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,391 Look low in the sky 713 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:05,810 and try not to blink or you'll miss 'em. 714 00:28:05,851 --> 00:28:07,144 (oohing) 715 00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:11,357 -You cold? -Nope. 716 00:28:11,399 --> 00:28:13,943 You look cold. You can share the blanket. 717 00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:16,654 I'm a man. I'm a Jew. I suffer. 718 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:21,325 (oohing) 719 00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,827 ♪ With a hasty word ♪ 720 00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:26,414 -♪ You can't recall ♪ -Better. 721 00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:29,834 ♪ So ♪ 722 00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:33,212 -♪ If I broke ♪ -(oohing) 723 00:28:33,254 --> 00:28:35,631 -♪ Your heart last night ♪ -(giggles) 724 00:28:35,673 --> 00:28:37,883 ♪ It's because ♪ 725 00:28:37,925 --> 00:28:42,680 ♪ I love you most of all. ♪ 726 00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,434 MAN (over P.A.): Steinerites, please join us dockside 727 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:49,854 to celebrate Arlene Ableman's 70th birthday this afternoon. 728 00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:51,897 There will be two kinds of cake. 729 00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:54,233 Pop. 730 00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:56,277 Pop! 731 00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:00,823 ("Flight of the Bumblebee" playing) 732 00:29:05,119 --> 00:29:06,412 Where's Rose? 733 00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:07,872 -Mrs. Weissman? -Yes, Mrs. Weissman. 734 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:08,873 Beauty salon. 735 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:09,874 Pop. 736 00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:12,209 (sighs) 737 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,462 What happened to Jimmy? 738 00:29:14,503 --> 00:29:16,297 -(indistinct chatter) -Good morning, sir. 739 00:29:16,338 --> 00:29:19,550 Welcome to Steiner Mountain Resort Salon and-- Sir! 740 00:29:19,592 --> 00:29:20,885 Rose. R-Rose. 741 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,720 -Rose! -(whirring) 742 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:25,723 Abe, don't! Don't! You're making it hotter! 743 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,725 -(whirring stops) -What is wrong with you? 744 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:30,311 Your son is not who you think he is. 745 00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:32,313 He is a high-level... 746 00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:34,315 -I don't know what he is. -Noah? 747 00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:36,650 -If that's his name. -Of course that's his name. 748 00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:38,903 -What makes you so sure? -We named him. 749 00:29:38,944 --> 00:29:41,906 Well, I am not calling him Noah anymore. 750 00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:45,242 Until I find out more, I am calling him Son-X. 751 00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:46,994 Abe, please, you're not making sense. 752 00:29:47,036 --> 00:29:49,663 I got in trouble at Bell Labs, and it's all his fault. 753 00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,081 -What did you do? -Nothing. 754 00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,917 I talked him up to coworkers. 755 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,085 -What did they say? -That talking about my son 756 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,254 was some sort of high-level security breach 757 00:29:57,296 --> 00:30:00,341 that only me and the janitors were not aware of. 758 00:30:00,382 --> 00:30:01,759 He works at a university. 759 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,594 It's a cover. It's... 760 00:30:03,636 --> 00:30:05,012 it's a cover. 761 00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:06,514 And he's saying nothing. 762 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,350 Three hours driving back, he wouldn't answer one question. 763 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:10,518 Not one. 764 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,936 I was so mad. 765 00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:13,938 I didn't stop for a bathroom break. 766 00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:16,357 And he had to go. Oh, yes. 767 00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,442 It was painfully obvious he had to go. 768 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:19,443 My God. 769 00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:22,196 I had to go, too. 770 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:25,699 We think we know Son-X, 771 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:28,536 (quietly): but we don't know Son-X. 772 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:31,080 Let me see what I can find out. 773 00:30:32,540 --> 00:30:34,917 (rabbi mumbling kinnot) 774 00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:40,214 Amen. 775 00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:42,675 (Astrid reading along softly) 776 00:30:46,053 --> 00:30:48,013 (quietly): Hi, Astrid. 777 00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:49,515 Oh, bless you, Rose. 778 00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:51,517 You're here for the service? 779 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:53,018 Yes. 780 00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:54,436 I'm so hungry and tired, 781 00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:56,355 I don't even know what time it is. 782 00:30:56,397 --> 00:30:58,607 It's around 3:00. 783 00:30:58,649 --> 00:31:01,694 The rabbi was going to cancel when he saw it was just me, 784 00:31:01,735 --> 00:31:04,029 but I cried really hard, so he stayed. 785 00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:06,031 So, yay. 786 00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:09,285 The rabbi's a good... (sniffs) man. 787 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,954 Oh, sorry. That's my Chinatown paste. 788 00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:13,622 -Right. -It's pungent. 789 00:31:13,664 --> 00:31:14,957 -Okay. -And oil-based. 790 00:31:14,999 --> 00:31:16,458 It doesn't respond to water. 791 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,460 -No, it's fine. -Okay. 792 00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:20,462 (rabbi continues mumbling) 793 00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,797 What page? 794 00:31:21,839 --> 00:31:23,465 Um, 142. 795 00:31:23,507 --> 00:31:24,466 Ah. 796 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:27,428 Oh, other way. 797 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:30,598 ROSE: So, Noah and Abe are back. 798 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:32,600 Oh, good. Did they have a nice trip? 799 00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:34,852 They did. They had a lot of time to talk. 800 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:36,854 -Oh, good. -Yeah. 801 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,189 Noah talked about his work a little bit. 802 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,608 He doesn't do that much. 803 00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:42,109 Oh, it's a complicated subject, 804 00:31:42,151 --> 00:31:43,694 -I can tell you. -Yes? 805 00:31:43,736 --> 00:31:45,696 But I'm not supposed to tell you. 806 00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:49,199 Oh, of course. 807 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,951 But it's complicated. 808 00:31:50,993 --> 00:31:52,620 (sputters) Oy, doo zugst mir. 809 00:31:52,661 --> 00:31:54,622 -So much travel. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Really? 810 00:31:54,663 --> 00:31:56,790 -Where does he go? -Oh, he doesn't say. 811 00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:59,543 Although, sometimes when he gets back, there's sand in his shoes. 812 00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:00,753 -Sand? -And his gun. 813 00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:02,421 -Oh, my God. -Oh, it comes out. 814 00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,590 He cleans it, oils it. It's good as new. 815 00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:06,675 -He carries a gun. -Sometimes. 816 00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:08,427 -The company makes him. -RABBI: Amen. 817 00:32:08,469 --> 00:32:12,181 Oh, listen to me, yakking away, and you're here to pray. 818 00:32:12,222 --> 00:32:15,184 Oh, yes. Yes, I am. 819 00:32:15,225 --> 00:32:18,395 So you call his university the company? 820 00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,814 -Sort of. -Or-or the other place he works 821 00:32:20,856 --> 00:32:22,149 is the company? 822 00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:23,734 Did I say there was another place? 823 00:32:23,776 --> 00:32:25,569 -You implied it. -I didn't mean to. 824 00:32:25,611 --> 00:32:28,405 Oh, well, does-does he keep in touch when he's away? 825 00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:30,658 -He usually can't. -But if he's away 826 00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:32,826 -and you need to reach him, are you able to? -Not really. 827 00:32:32,868 --> 00:32:34,828 What would you do in an emergency? 828 00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:37,414 Oh, I don't know. I can't just dial the operator and say, 829 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,417 "Give me the CIA." It doesn't work that way. 830 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,252 Of course not. 831 00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:44,338 (rabbi continues mumbling) 832 00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,590 Oh, we're on the next page. 833 00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,009 Oh. 834 00:32:51,095 --> 00:32:52,471 How? When? 835 00:32:52,513 --> 00:32:55,057 They must have recruited him in college. 836 00:32:55,099 --> 00:32:57,142 Does he... kill people? 837 00:32:57,184 --> 00:32:58,727 I don't think so. 838 00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:01,730 I-I would like to know if my son kills people. 839 00:33:01,772 --> 00:33:05,359 I'll try to get more specifics out of her next time. 840 00:33:05,401 --> 00:33:06,694 (Rose sighs) 841 00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:08,445 Both of them. 842 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,197 Both of who? 843 00:33:10,239 --> 00:33:13,242 Nothing. Nothing. 844 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,537 MAN (over P.A.): Attention, Steiner guests: 845 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,790 Labor Day approaches, marking the end of another great season. 846 00:33:19,832 --> 00:33:22,459 We'll see you at our final soiree in the main hall. 847 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,712 Bring your dancing shoes. 848 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,689 What is this? 849 00:33:43,731 --> 00:33:46,150 -It's our ride. -It's a tank. 850 00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:48,110 The rich girl in my cabin said she'd lend me her wheels. 851 00:33:48,152 --> 00:33:49,528 I didn't know it was gonna be the car 852 00:33:49,570 --> 00:33:51,447 the Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated in. 853 00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:52,865 Do you crank it? 854 00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:54,324 No, but when you start it, 855 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,034 the sound will scare the crap out of you. 856 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:59,997 (British accent): Guess we should get going, James. 857 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:02,040 (normal voice): You're gonna need a booster seat. 858 00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:03,751 I'm not gonna need a fucking booster seat. 859 00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:06,170 Jesus. What am I, fucking five? 860 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:09,882 Ah, I'm gonna need a fucking booster seat. 861 00:34:09,923 --> 00:34:12,468 Blankets will work or phone books. 862 00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:14,344 I'll drive it back up to the cabin and grab something. 863 00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:16,805 -(engine backfires) -(both scream) 864 00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:18,140 That was louder than last time! 865 00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:19,683 Oh, I think my heart stopped. 866 00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:21,894 My butt feels hot. Does your butt feel hot? 867 00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:24,605 Your what feels hot? My ears are ringing. 868 00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:26,899 Your what's ringing? That blew my ears out. 869 00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:28,400 Oh, wait, I can hear again. Stop yelling. 870 00:34:28,442 --> 00:34:29,818 Your what feels hot? 871 00:34:29,860 --> 00:34:31,570 My butt. 872 00:34:34,615 --> 00:34:38,744 ♪ Every morning ♪ 873 00:34:38,786 --> 00:34:41,830 ♪ Every morning ♪ 874 00:34:41,872 --> 00:34:44,041 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 875 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:46,084 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 876 00:34:46,126 --> 00:34:49,963 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 877 00:34:50,005 --> 00:34:53,592 ♪ Go, you chicken fat ♪ 878 00:34:53,634 --> 00:34:57,429 ♪ Go away ♪ 879 00:34:57,471 --> 00:35:02,476 ♪ Go, you chicken fat ♪ 880 00:35:02,518 --> 00:35:06,063 ♪ Go. ♪ 881 00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:08,106 ♪ ♪ 882 00:35:11,485 --> 00:35:13,070 That's the thing about mah-jongg. 883 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:16,740 The longer you grind on-- 14, 15, 16 hours-- 884 00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:18,951 these alta kakas get dopey 885 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:21,078 and they don't know what tiles they're passing. 886 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:22,830 They don't even know their own names. 887 00:35:22,871 --> 00:35:25,457 They wouldn't know anyway. These people are quite old. 888 00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:27,209 SHIRLEY: That's when I swoop in for the kill. 889 00:35:27,251 --> 00:35:28,669 And I make them pay on the spot. 890 00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:31,630 Even if I have to march them down to the Western Union, 891 00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:32,923 they will pay. 892 00:35:32,965 --> 00:35:34,800 Sounds very exciting, Shirley. 893 00:35:34,842 --> 00:35:37,719 I come home on a high. I can't get to sleep. 894 00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:39,847 That's when the lovemaking starts. 895 00:35:39,888 --> 00:35:42,599 You know, guys, maybe that's as far as the story should go. 896 00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:44,268 And maybe not even that far. 897 00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:47,938 That's why we get a cottage so far away from everybody else. 898 00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:50,232 And thank you for that, Shirley. 899 00:35:50,274 --> 00:35:52,609 MOISHE: At one point, Shirl was down 12. 900 00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:55,612 Can you believe it? At the end, she won it back and then some. 901 00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:57,990 -You always end up on top, don't you, Shirl? -(laughs) 902 00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,783 ROSE: My God, I've only ever played 903 00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:02,619 mah-jongg for pennies. I've never lost $12. 904 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:06,456 $12? Honey, no, I was down $1,200. 905 00:36:06,498 --> 00:36:09,209 Who would play for a lousy $12? 906 00:36:09,251 --> 00:36:11,461 Shirley, you were down $1,200? 907 00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:13,088 SHIRLEY: Oh, it sounds like a lot, 908 00:36:13,130 --> 00:36:15,674 but in mah-jongg it's not, really. 909 00:36:15,716 --> 00:36:18,093 Hey, so, what did you do with our Abe, 910 00:36:18,135 --> 00:36:20,095 Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm? 911 00:36:20,137 --> 00:36:22,097 Your super sunshiny disposition 912 00:36:22,139 --> 00:36:24,433 is in such stark contrast to his. 913 00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:26,226 Moishe, I'm in a fine mood 914 00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:28,520 and having a wonderful time with my wife and my children. 915 00:36:28,562 --> 00:36:31,189 Please stop focusing on me and focus on the festivities. 916 00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:34,276 Really, you should replace Buzz up there, Abe. 917 00:36:34,318 --> 00:36:37,070 Infect the crowd with your enthusiasm. 918 00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:38,614 Be in whatever mood you want to be in, Pop. 919 00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:41,199 -Don't let him push you around. -No one pushes me around, son. 920 00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:43,660 I do what I want, just like everybody else around me 921 00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:45,162 does whatever the hell they want, 922 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,164 no matter what the effect. 923 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,415 Papa, Noah was just saying that... 924 00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:50,876 I understand what he was saying. 925 00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:53,629 Unless it's some sort of code. 926 00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,464 (applause) 927 00:36:57,299 --> 00:37:00,010 All right, everybody. It's that time. 928 00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:01,845 We look forward all season 929 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:04,264 to seeing how the gang is gonna entertain us. 930 00:37:04,306 --> 00:37:07,851 You know them. You love them. You tip them. 931 00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:10,062 -We do. We do. -They're our wonderful Steiner employees, 932 00:37:10,103 --> 00:37:11,980 and they're here to put on a show. 933 00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:15,192 Hard to top last year's theme, "To the Moon and Back," 934 00:37:15,233 --> 00:37:17,069 with our head chef Julias's rendition 935 00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:18,904 of "That Old Devil Moon." 936 00:37:18,946 --> 00:37:22,491 Who knew the King of Kreplach had such beautiful pipes, huh? 937 00:37:22,532 --> 00:37:26,161 But this year, we may have outdone ourselves. 938 00:37:26,203 --> 00:37:28,121 This year we bring you 939 00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:30,248 "Around the World in 80 Minutes," 940 00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:32,668 a sensational musical odyssey 941 00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:35,879 to some of the most exotic places on Earth. 942 00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:39,049 Enjoy. 943 00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:41,093 ("Around the World" playing) 944 00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:48,225 ♪ Around the world I've searched for you ♪ 945 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:50,477 ♪ I traveled on when hope was gone ♪ 946 00:37:50,519 --> 00:37:53,647 ♪ To keep a rendezvous ♪ 947 00:37:53,689 --> 00:37:58,068 ♪ I knew somewhere, sometime, somehow ♪ 948 00:37:58,110 --> 00:38:00,570 ♪ You'd look at me and I would see ♪ 949 00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:03,240 ♪ The smile you're smiling now ♪ 950 00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:06,201 ♪ It might have been in... ♪ 951 00:38:06,243 --> 00:38:07,452 China. 952 00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:09,830 ♪ ♪ 953 00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:14,835 (gong crashes) 954 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:16,920 (Dutch accent): Holland. 955 00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:18,964 ♪ ♪ 956 00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:25,929 (Russian accent): Russia. 957 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:27,973 ♪ ♪ 958 00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:32,102 Who would bring Cossacks into a room full of Jews? 959 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,400 (laughing): Buzz has a bit of a masochistic side. 960 00:38:38,442 --> 00:38:40,736 Why are you laughing? Is it supposed to be funny? 961 00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:43,030 I don't think so. That's what makes it funny. 962 00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:44,281 (Scottish accent): Scotland. 963 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,324 ♪ ♪ 964 00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:51,663 Oh, come on, Papa. You've got to be enjoying this a little. 965 00:38:51,705 --> 00:38:53,081 I'm enjoying it thoroughly. 966 00:38:53,123 --> 00:38:54,750 What makes you think I'm not enjoying it? 967 00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:57,711 I don't know, your sphinxlike detachment? 968 00:38:57,753 --> 00:39:00,130 I guess I don't know what funny is. 969 00:39:00,172 --> 00:39:03,467 BUZZ (Arabian accent): Arabia. 970 00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:05,510 ♪ ♪ 971 00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:09,806 (applause) 972 00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:11,892 (Italian accent): Italy. 973 00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,935 ♪ ♪ 974 00:39:17,189 --> 00:39:20,150 (applause) 975 00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:22,486 The rest of the world is gonna get us for this one day. 976 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:24,738 I'm gonna grab another drink. 977 00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:26,114 But our first stop? 978 00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:29,117 (Brazilian accent): Brazil. 979 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:31,161 ♪ ♪ 980 00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:34,790 ♪ Way down among Brazilians ♪ 981 00:39:34,831 --> 00:39:36,041 ♪ Coffee beans... ♪ 982 00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:37,334 What'll you have? I'm buying. 983 00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:38,877 MIDGE: The drinks are free. 984 00:39:38,919 --> 00:39:40,253 Then I'm buying you two. 985 00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:41,922 Gin martini, olives. 986 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:43,673 -Yes, ma'am. -So, did your table plotz 987 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:44,925 at the sight of the Cossacks? 988 00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:47,177 Oh, they plotzed. Didn't even kvetch first. 989 00:39:47,219 --> 00:39:49,763 That Buzz is growing on me. He's got an edge. 990 00:39:49,805 --> 00:39:51,681 The Secret Life of Buzz Goldberg 991 00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:53,308 might make a fine Hitchcock movie. 992 00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:55,769 So, are we going to see each other again? 993 00:39:55,811 --> 00:39:58,105 Let me answer that: we're going to see each other again. 994 00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:00,190 I guess it's settled, then. 995 00:40:00,232 --> 00:40:02,400 -We'll keep it on land? -I'm good with that. 996 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:04,361 Venetian guy brought back bad memories. 997 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:06,279 Thank you. 998 00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:09,157 You know how to find me. 999 00:40:09,199 --> 00:40:10,492 Actually, I don't. 1000 00:40:10,534 --> 00:40:12,202 You don't have my number? 1001 00:40:12,244 --> 00:40:14,704 -You never gave it to me. -You know where I live, though. 1002 00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:15,997 Somewhere by the park? 1003 00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,582 -Do you have a pen? -No. 1004 00:40:17,624 --> 00:40:20,794 I don't either. I guess I'll find one and write it down, 1005 00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:22,879 -and I'll get it to you sometime tonight. -Sure. 1006 00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:24,714 I'll probably head out by 10:30, though. 1007 00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,591 Okay. Before 10:30. 1008 00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:28,635 Sorry, I know that would have been kind of neat to say, 1009 00:40:28,677 --> 00:40:30,929 "You know how to find me," then walk away like in a movie, 1010 00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:32,389 but the logistics were off. 1011 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:35,267 -Next time. -Next time. 1012 00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:40,021 ♪ Why they could percolate the coffee in Brazil ♪ 1013 00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:42,774 ♪ No tea ♪ 1014 00:40:42,816 --> 00:40:45,235 ♪ Or tomato juice ♪ 1015 00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:46,945 ♪ You'll see ♪ 1016 00:40:46,987 --> 00:40:50,157 ♪ No potato juice ♪ 1017 00:40:50,198 --> 00:40:53,201 ♪ 'Cause the planters down in Santos all say no ♪ 1018 00:40:53,243 --> 00:40:54,995 ♪ No, no ♪ 1019 00:40:55,036 --> 00:40:57,122 ♪ You'll add to the local color ♪ 1020 00:40:57,164 --> 00:40:59,875 ♪ Serving coffee with a cruller ♪ 1021 00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:04,629 ♪ Dunking doesn't take a lot of skill... ♪ 1022 00:41:04,671 --> 00:41:09,301 ♪ It might have been in County Down ♪ 1023 00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:11,845 ♪ Or in New York, in gay "Paree" ♪ 1024 00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:14,431 ♪ Or even London town ♪ 1025 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:19,227 ♪ No more will we go all around the world ♪ 1026 00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:24,482 ♪ For we have found our world ♪ 1027 00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:29,988 ♪ In you. ♪ 1028 00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:35,410 -(cheering) -Brava! 1029 00:41:35,452 --> 00:41:36,870 MAN: That was wonderful. 1030 00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:42,751 (mouths) 1031 00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:46,796 WOMAN: Brava! 1032 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,010 Welcome back to Steiner Resort. 1033 00:41:52,052 --> 00:41:53,595 We missed you while you were away 1034 00:41:53,637 --> 00:41:55,305 -on your travels. -(laughter) 1035 00:41:55,347 --> 00:41:57,515 But you chose the perfect time to return, 1036 00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,518 because do we ever have a surprise for you. 1037 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,437 What now, a kickline of Gruppenfuhrers? 1038 00:42:02,479 --> 00:42:05,315 When he's not mourning the loss of his beloved Ebbets Field, 1039 00:42:05,357 --> 00:42:08,443 this man is thinking up funny things to say. 1040 00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:11,238 Here he is, direct from The Ed Sullivan Show, 1041 00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:13,448 Phil Foster. 1042 00:42:13,490 --> 00:42:16,785 -Phil Foster?! -Oh, Phil Foster! Wow! 1043 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,288 Thanks, everyone. 1044 00:42:20,330 --> 00:42:22,749 It's nice to be up here in the Catskills. 1045 00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:24,376 A great place for families. 1046 00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:27,128 And as you know, these days, in family life, 1047 00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:29,130 -you got to have a dog. -(laughing) 1048 00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:31,132 Last week, I went up to Connecticut, 1049 00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:33,969 'cause in Connecticut, I found out they have 1050 00:42:34,010 --> 00:42:36,221 very exclusive kennel clubs. 1051 00:42:36,263 --> 00:42:39,516 I'll tell you how exclusive one kennel club was up there. 1052 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:43,061 Little sign outside said "No dogs allowed." 1053 00:42:45,272 --> 00:42:48,441 Really, Astrid, you have nothing to be concerned about. 1054 00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:50,694 Well, that's the problem. I don't remember what I said. 1055 00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:52,362 I was so weak from fasting. 1056 00:42:52,404 --> 00:42:54,406 I just have this sense that somehow I blew it. 1057 00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:56,992 No, no, you said nothing unusual. 1058 00:42:57,033 --> 00:43:00,745 -Good. I feel better. -Mm-hmm. 1059 00:43:00,787 --> 00:43:02,289 PHIL: ...very interesting: 1060 00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:05,333 they let the dog pick out his own name. 1061 00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:08,295 Yeah. He hears the name, he knows it, 1062 00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:10,505 he turns around and he answers. 1063 00:43:10,547 --> 00:43:12,090 So I tried it out. 1064 00:43:12,132 --> 00:43:15,468 I said "Prince," he went "Ruff." 1065 00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:18,471 I said "King," he went "Ruff." 1066 00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:21,808 I said "Spotty," he went "Eh..." 1067 00:43:23,727 --> 00:43:25,687 Because, to tell you the truth... 1068 00:43:25,729 --> 00:43:28,189 Are you as funny as him? 1069 00:43:28,231 --> 00:43:29,607 What? 1070 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:32,193 The comedian. Phil Foster. 1071 00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:34,362 Are you as funny as him? 1072 00:43:34,404 --> 00:43:36,448 Are we doing this now? 1073 00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:38,450 -Doing what? -Yeah, what are you guys talking about? 1074 00:43:38,491 --> 00:43:41,453 What are we talking about? It's a secret, okay? 1075 00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:42,954 You know secrets, Noah. 1076 00:43:42,996 --> 00:43:44,789 Are we not allowed to have secrets? 1077 00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:47,000 -What's secret? What's going on? -Nothing is going on. 1078 00:43:47,042 --> 00:43:49,044 I'm just trying to enjoy the comedian. 1079 00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:50,628 We all are, Abe. A lot of talking going on 1080 00:43:50,670 --> 00:43:51,880 during the comedian. 1081 00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:56,384 Are you? 1082 00:43:56,426 --> 00:43:58,261 PHIL: I said, "I don't care about the dog's parents." 1083 00:43:58,303 --> 00:44:00,472 He said, "I'm not talking about the dog's parents..." 1084 00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:03,641 -Yes. -Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 1085 00:44:03,683 --> 00:44:05,935 (cheering, applause) 1086 00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:07,979 (band begins playing) 1087 00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:13,860 -Astrid? -(shouts) What? 1088 00:44:13,902 --> 00:44:15,612 Is anything wrong? 1089 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:17,989 You tell me. Is anything wrong? 1090 00:44:18,031 --> 00:44:19,616 I was just asking you to dance. 1091 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:21,034 (chuckles): Oh. 1092 00:44:21,076 --> 00:44:22,911 I thought you were gonna accuse me of something. 1093 00:44:22,952 --> 00:44:25,705 -Yeah, sure. Let's dance. -Shirley Maisel, 1094 00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:28,792 it's time to trip the light fantastic, you big winner. 1095 00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,418 -Let's do it. -Okay. 1096 00:44:30,460 --> 00:44:32,003 Come on, Abe. 1097 00:44:32,045 --> 00:44:33,630 I don't want to. 1098 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:37,092 We can dance here, or we can dance in Paris. 1099 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:46,726 We started with a dance. Want to end with one? 1100 00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:48,770 Sure. 1101 00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:06,788 It was all so different this year. 1102 00:45:06,830 --> 00:45:08,790 Yeah. 1103 00:45:08,832 --> 00:45:11,000 I'm glad you came, though. 1104 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:13,044 Yeah. Me, too. 1105 00:45:18,341 --> 00:45:21,344 I guess it's time we dance with someone else. 1106 00:45:23,972 --> 00:45:25,974 I guess so. 1107 00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:47,745 ♪ ♪ 1108 00:46:01,634 --> 00:46:03,595 ("Dance This Mess Around" by The B-52's playing) 1109 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:14,147 ♪ Remember ♪ 1110 00:46:14,189 --> 00:46:18,109 ♪ When you held my hand ♪ 1111 00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:24,365 ♪ Say, remember ♪ 1112 00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:29,871 ♪ When you were my man ♪ 1113 00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:37,587 ♪ Walk, talk ♪ 1114 00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:39,839 ♪ In the name of love ♪ 1115 00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:45,178 ♪ Before you ♪ 1116 00:46:45,220 --> 00:46:47,764 ♪ Break my heart ♪ 1117 00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:51,684 ♪ Dance on over ♪ 1118 00:46:51,726 --> 00:46:53,811 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1119 00:46:53,853 --> 00:46:57,440 ♪ Roll it over in your mind ♪ 1120 00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:03,696 ♪ Why don't you dance with me ♪ 1121 00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:07,158 ♪ I'm not no Limburger ♪ 1122 00:47:13,414 --> 00:47:16,543 ♪ Why don't you dance with me ♪ 1123 00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:20,046 ♪ I'm never no Limburger ♪ 1124 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:26,511 ♪ Oh, yes, I ♪ 1125 00:47:26,553 --> 00:47:29,514 ♪ Why don't you dance with me ♪ 1126 00:47:29,556 --> 00:47:32,600 ♪ I'm not no Limburger ♪ 1127 00:47:37,105 --> 00:47:39,732 ♪ Oh, just a Limburger. ♪