1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:11,053 ♪ I have always been a woman who arranges things ♪ 2 00:00:11,095 --> 00:00:17,143 ♪ For the pleasure and the profit it derives ♪ 3 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ I have always been a woman who arranges things ♪ 4 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Like furniture ♪ 5 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,111 ♪ And daffodils ♪ 6 00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:34,076 ♪ And lives... ♪ 7 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:36,203 ♪ If you want your sister courted ♪ 8 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,414 ♪ Brother wed, or cheese imported ♪ 9 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:41,125 ♪ Just leave everything to me ♪ 10 00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:43,210 ♪ If you want your roof inspected ♪ 11 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,337 ♪ Eyebrows tweezed, or bills collected ♪ 12 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,215 ♪ Just leave everything to me ♪ 13 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,176 ♪ If you want your daughter dated ♪ 14 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:55,014 ♪ Or some marriage consummated for a rather modest fee... ♪ 15 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,391 (overlapping chatter) 16 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,059 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 17 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,478 I will connect you. 18 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:01,896 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 19 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,731 I will connect you. 20 00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:05,274 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? I will connect you. 21 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:06,776 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 22 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,402 -I will connect you. -B. Altman. 23 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,154 Where may I direct your call? I will connect you. 24 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:11,572 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 25 00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,783 I will connect you. 26 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,160 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 27 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,204 Aah! Too many calls. I can't! 28 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,581 Hold on! I will connect you. 29 00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:23,250 ♪ Just leave everything to me ♪ 30 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,169 ♪ If you want your culture rounded... ♪ 31 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,629 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 32 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,047 Head between your knees. 33 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,800 I will connect you. 34 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,468 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 35 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,178 I will connect you. 36 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,888 Twisted! I'm twisted! 37 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,390 ♪ The whole procedure... ♪ 38 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,226 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 39 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,644 Breathe, honey, breathe. 40 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,062 I will connect you. 41 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,315 ENID: Midge, help! 42 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,150 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 43 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:52,613 DORIS: Midge, help! 44 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,448 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 45 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,283 I will connect you. 46 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:58,494 Whew! You'd think we were giving away Pat Boone tickets. 47 00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,912 Gosh. You're amazing. 48 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,664 I've had a lot of practice. 49 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,958 Try manning the Revlon counter on a Free Makeover Friday. 50 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,417 -Makeup counter? -Yup. 51 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,294 -You were in the show. -What's it like? 52 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,838 -I hear there's music. -And lunch breaks. 53 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,090 -And air. -It is all of that and more. 54 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,591 Sounds like heaven. 55 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,884 It was. 56 00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:15,427 GINGER: So, how come you landed here? 57 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,846 I hit a rough patch. 58 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,222 There was an incident named Penny. 59 00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:19,932 Bottom line is, I am not a tramp 60 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,935 and someday I'm gonna be back at that counter. 61 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,229 But until then... 62 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,231 B. Altman. Where may I connect your call? 63 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,358 (overlapping chatter) 64 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,861 ♪ To... ♪ 65 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:37,283 ♪ Me! ♪ 66 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,244 ♪ ♪ 67 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,955 (phone ringing) 68 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:45,374 Fuck off. 69 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,928 (phone continues ringing) 70 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,513 Yeah? 71 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,223 MAN: Hi. Is this Susie Myerson? 72 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,642 -No. -Well, can I speak with Susie Myerson? 73 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,644 -Why? -I'm Morris Abramson. 74 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,313 I'm a booker out of Pennsylvania. 75 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,315 I'd like to talk about a client of hers. 76 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,568 Oh. Oh. Yes. This is Susie Myerson. 77 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,361 Uh, what did you say your name was? 78 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,988 Uh, Abramson. Morris Abramson. 79 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,865 Morris, nice to meet you. 80 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:19,867 Uh, hey, wh-where did you get this number, by the way? 81 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,452 MORRIS: Uh, from the card you gave me? 82 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,245 You're kidding. That worked? 83 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:26,582 Yes. Listen, I'm interested in your girl-- Mrs. Maisel. 84 00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:28,667 Mm. Yeah, she's hot right now. 85 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,753 I heard about the show she did with Lenny Bruce. 86 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,172 Oh, yeah, great show. A star was born. 87 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,508 Well, I was wondering what her availabilities are in February. 88 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:41,388 Oh, wow. Boy, I wish you'd called a week ago 89 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,432 before I said yes to those two weeks in Reno, 90 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,476 but I'll see what I can do. 91 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,645 Uh, hold on. Let me get my book. 92 00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,732 Shit, I got to get a book. 93 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:52,858 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 94 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,276 I will connect you. Enid. 95 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,486 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 96 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,904 I will connect you. Doris. 97 00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:58,197 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 98 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,615 I will connect you. Ginger. 99 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,033 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 100 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,160 I will connect you. Midge. 101 00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:04,536 B. Altman. Where may I direct your call? 102 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,955 SUSIE: Right up your ass. 103 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,331 You're in a good mood. 104 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,958 I am. Hey, why does every girl there sound 105 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,751 like a guy who's just been kicked in the nuts? 106 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:11,877 What do you want, Susie? 107 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,337 I want to tell you it worked. 108 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:15,214 -What worked? -The card. The card worked. 109 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,675 One of the guys that I gave it to called. He wants you. 110 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,551 Not just for a hand job. He wants to book you in 111 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,512 -a goddamn club in Philadelphia! -Really? 112 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,930 (laughing) Fuckin' A. 113 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,640 Yeah. Two other calls came in also. 114 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,642 Newspapers. They heard all about the Lenny Bruce gig, 115 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:28,477 and they want to know all about you. 116 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:29,895 We have gotten over the hump, sister. 117 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,438 The rebuilding has begun. 118 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,440 Philadelphia. Wow. That's exciting. 119 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,526 No, it's not. There's nothing exciting about Philadelphia. 120 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,277 Well, I've never been, and I've always wanted to go. 121 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,613 Take Sixth Avenue, add a bell, that's Philadelphia. 122 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,073 I don't think that's accurate. 123 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,491 Midge, you got another call. 124 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,909 Some guy in a total panic. 125 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,577 I have to go back to work. 126 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,287 B. Altman. This is Midge. 127 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,081 Miriam, how long will it take you to get here? 128 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541 -Two and a half hours. -What? 129 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,001 I work till 6:00. 130 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,335 No. I need you now. Come home. 131 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:54,545 -But... -Now, Miriam, now. 132 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:55,796 Papa. 133 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,047 Now, now, now. 134 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,216 I'm here! What is it? 135 00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:01,301 What's the matter? What's missing? 136 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,178 (panting) 137 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,973 Eye, eye, ear, ear, nose, hand, foot. 138 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,933 Blood? No blood. No blood! Ethan's fine. 139 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,685 Is it Esther? Oh, God. 140 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,103 What's wrong? What's bad? 141 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,521 You look fine. You look fine. 142 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,189 Your eyes are asymmetrical. 143 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,275 Is that why you called me? Her eyes are asymmetrical? 144 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,985 I know that! I have a contingency plan! 145 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:19,903 -ABE: Miriam. -Papa! 146 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,780 I don't know what to do. I don't understand what's happening. 147 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,282 -What's the problem? -It's your mother. 148 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,700 Mama? What's wrong with Mama? 149 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,160 -She's not here. -She's... 150 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,828 Tonight's the annual faculty holiday party, 151 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,288 -and she's not here? -I... 152 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,956 She's never missed this party before, ever. 153 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,332 -Well, where is she? -I don't know. 154 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,834 You don't? 155 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,252 I mean, she went to Paris, 156 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,920 but she was supposed to be back by now. 157 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,881 Paris? She went to Paris? When did she go to Paris? 158 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,258 A few days ago. She was going on a shopping trip or something. 159 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,052 What do you mean "or something"? 160 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,970 It just doesn't make sense that she would miss the party. 161 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,598 -Papa, what did she say? -That she was going to Paris, 162 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,141 and she'd be back before the party. 163 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,559 -She said that? -Yes. 164 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,936 -Well, I assume she said that. -Assume? 165 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,022 This is a great party, Miriam. They have a band. 166 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,315 Papa, did you ask when she'd be back? 167 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,816 -Yes. -A second ago you assumed. 168 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,318 Asked, assumed-- same thing. 169 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,819 -Not at all the same thing. -Pretty close. 170 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,780 You teach at Columbia. They should be terrified. 171 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,199 -Did you look around your den? -For what? 172 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,076 For flight information. 173 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,912 A hotel name, a phone number, Amelia Earhart. 174 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,997 -There's nothing in my den. -Papa, think hard. 175 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,707 When Mama said she was going to Paris, 176 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,876 -what exactly did she say? -I don't know. 177 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,045 Concentrate. Recreate the moment. 178 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,547 I was there, and she came in, and... 179 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,092 -I'm going to Paris. -Mm-hmm. 180 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,135 I don't feel like I have a life here anymore. 181 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,762 Everything and everyone that I always counted on 182 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,097 has let me down. 183 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,681 I don't know what my place is here. 184 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,975 You don't need me. Miriam doesn't need me. 185 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,602 I serve no purpose. 186 00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,395 I'm unhappy and I'm tired of being unhappy, 187 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,439 so I booked myself a flight for tomorrow night. 188 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:40,526 Zelda's making lamb for dinner. 189 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,569 Lamb's good. 190 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,365 -Papa, are you kidding me?! -What? 191 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,326 -Mama moved to Paris! -What?! Oh, that's ridiculous. 192 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:50,786 Did you hear what you just said? 193 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,538 What? 194 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,581 You just told me that Mama told you she was moving to Paris. 195 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:55,999 I never said that. 196 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,376 "I don't feel like I have a life here. 197 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,919 "Everyone and everything 198 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,504 that I have ever counted on has let me down"? 199 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:02,005 And you said, "Okay." 200 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,799 No. I said lamb was okay, and it was. 201 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,093 Oh, good grief. 202 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:08,178 Honestly, Papa, you don't listen. 203 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,930 -Not true. -You don't listen to anyone. 204 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,348 Not true. 205 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,724 "I don't feel like I have a life here"? 206 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,518 Stop repeating that! 207 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,020 All right, I'll admit that sometimes I tune people out, 208 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,064 but mostly because they rarely have anything useful 209 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,066 -or interesting to say. -It's empty. 210 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,402 -What? -Her closet's empty. 211 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,446 Her drawers are empty. Her perfume's gone. 212 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,407 Where's her things? 213 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,909 -Where did they go? -I'm guessing Paris. 214 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,412 But what was she going to wear to the party tonight? 215 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,414 You didn't notice this? You sleep right there. 216 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,291 You live here, too. You didn't notice either. 217 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,542 You're her husband. 218 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,210 You're in her closet way more than I am. 219 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,671 -(dishes clattering) -Wait a minute. 220 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,089 Wait a minute. 221 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,216 Papa? 222 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,429 -What are you doing? -Nothing. 223 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,015 You're in on it, aren't you? You helped her pack? 224 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,142 -No. -Yeah, you're still helping her. 225 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,186 You're packing up dishes to send to her right now, aren't you? 226 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,687 Only the ones from her grandmother. 227 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,564 You do hate those dishes. 228 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,149 Yes, but this isn't the way I wanted to get rid of them. 229 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,942 Zelda, do you know where she is? 230 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,320 -She left me the address. -Why didn't you tell us? 231 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,989 She said not to say anything, to wait until Mr. Weissman asked. 232 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,574 He's asking! I'm asking. 233 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,826 Zelda, please, where is Mrs. Weissman? 234 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,542 Was that up there the whole time? 235 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,669 -Yes. -In plain view? Just like that? 236 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:26,173 -Yes. -Okay, you-- pack. You-- 237 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,799 -unpack. -What? Why? 238 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,635 Because, the idiot twins are going to go to Paris 239 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,678 -to bring your mother back. -But... 240 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,223 And then we'll have a little talk about loyalty. 241 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,099 To the person who signs the checks, 242 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,310 not the person you like more. 243 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,354 American loyalty! 244 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,607 (sighs) 245 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,195 ("You're in Paris" playing) 246 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:55,661 ♪ You're in Paris ♪ 247 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,498 ♪ You're in Paris ♪ 248 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,500 ♪ You're in Paris ♪ 249 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:07,339 ♪ Where the fashion is romance ♪ 250 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,133 ♪ 'Neath a garret's rafter ♪ 251 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,177 ♪ There's more laughter ♪ 252 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,555 ♪ In the Paris wine ♪ 253 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,933 ♪ I'm in Paris. ♪ 254 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,476 Is this the place? 255 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,061 Uh, I need small bills. 256 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,313 "18 Bis Rue du Mail." 257 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,357 18. 18. 18. 18. 258 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,484 -Small bills. -I can't find an address. 259 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,112 Can you find a...? Oh, that hat is fabulous. 260 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,989 Hey, hey, small bills, small bills. 261 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,365 What? Oh. 262 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,993 -DRIVER: Monsieur... -Uh, here. 263 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,786 The French kind. French kind. 264 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,162 Wow, that one's even better. 265 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,914 Hey, hey, will you stop shopping? 266 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,582 Sorry. 267 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,793 (driver speaking French) 268 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,629 Okay, is, uh... is this enough? 269 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,590 (speaking French) 270 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,509 What, wh-what, what did he say? 271 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,052 I don't know. I don't speak French. 272 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,762 What do you mean you don't speak French? 273 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:56,805 I mean I don't speak French. 274 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:57,889 All this time with your mother, 275 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,349 -she never taught you French? -No. 276 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,143 That's the only reason I asked you to come. 277 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,477 (driver speaking French) 278 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,396 -Okay, I, uh... -Okay. 279 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,481 Yeah, you're welcome for the tip. 280 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,067 For D-Day. You pick. 281 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,319 I think this is it. 282 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,820 This can't be it. It must be it. 283 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,364 -Is there a bell? -Maybe we should call. 284 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,283 -Does she have a phone? -Does she have a bell? 285 00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,952 -I don't know. -You've just answered both questions. 286 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,704 -I'm nervous. -Me, too. 287 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,622 -What do I say? -I think you should just 288 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,374 go in there and be sweet. 289 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,168 She's probably homesick by now. 290 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,378 She's probably just waiting for you to sweep her off her feet 291 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,838 and carry her back to the Upper West Side. 292 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,215 Oh, that's gonna be murder on my back. 293 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,259 Be sweet. 294 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,555 Hey, hey, hey, focus, focus. 295 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,599 Sorry. 296 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,022 (speaking French) 297 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,151 Uh, good morning, Miss, uh, Mrs. 298 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:54,404 Can you help us? 299 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:58,617 We're looking for Rose Weissman. 300 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,161 Mademoiselle Weissman. 301 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,621 Oh, so now you speak French. 302 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:07,417 Rose Weissman? (continues in French) 303 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,461 (shouting in French) 304 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,053 -Uh-huh. -(woman continues shouting) 305 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,187 Are you sure this is right? 306 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,605 This is the address she left. 307 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,774 It's like a Gallic Hooverville. 308 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:32,401 It's a little rustic. 309 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,486 Everyone here has murdered at least three people 310 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,612 in their lifetimes. 311 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,572 -Rose? Rose, are you here? -(woman continues shouting) 312 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,449 She's drafting us. She's drafting us. 313 00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,701 Don't look her in the eye, it'll only rile her up. 314 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,662 -More than this? -Rose, are you here? 315 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,914 -Mama? -Rose... Rose? 316 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,916 -Mama? -Rose. 317 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,668 (woman continues shouting in French) 318 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,712 -I'm going up. -Okay. We're going up. 319 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,631 ABE: I'm just gonna leave these here. 320 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,342 -Never mind. -Oh, God, what is that smell? 321 00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:01,179 It's like a dead fish crawled inside a deader fish. 322 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,223 -She's still coming. -Rose?! 323 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,100 Boy, I really wish you knew French. 324 00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:07,352 Papa, look, Rose. It says "Rose." 325 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,312 -Rose! My Rose! -Mama? 326 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,022 -Mama, are you in there? -It's your husband! 327 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,651 Abe? Miriam? What on earth are you doing here? 328 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:16,194 We're here to see you. 329 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,071 -Wait, you didn't wire her? -No. Why? 330 00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,739 Papa, we had a whole conversation where I told you 331 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:20,907 to let her know we were coming. 332 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,075 -We did? -Yes. 333 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,660 I have no memory of that. 334 00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,595 Oh, well, this is a nice surprise. 335 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,181 Would you like to come in? 336 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,057 Hey. Sweet. 337 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,352 What? 338 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,731 Would you like some coffee? I'll heat up the rechaud. 339 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,649 I'm sorry about the weather today. 340 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,985 The papers actually said sun. 341 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,528 I know how rain depresses you two, 342 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,447 but really, in Paris, it's quite wonderful. 343 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,781 So try to look past it. 344 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,742 Oh, how was your flight? 345 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,703 It was your first time on a plane, wasn't it, Miriam? 346 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,498 -Isn't air travel a marvel? Bonjour, René. -RENE: Bonjour, Rose. 347 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,958 One minute you're in New York, and the next you're here 348 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,502 in Gay Paree. 349 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,087 Are you hungry? I could scrounge around for some cake. 350 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,715 Uh, I think we're fine. 351 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:21,051 Well, if you change your mind. 352 00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:24,429 -So, this apartment... -Oh, isn't it charmant? 353 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,723 This is where I lived when I went to school here. 354 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,141 There's no furniture. 355 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,559 ROSE: I didn't know if there'd be a room available. 356 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,769 It had been a while. 357 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,479 One chair. There's only one chair? 358 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,190 So I knocked on the door, and dear sweet Marie answered. 359 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,775 I couldn't believe my luck. 360 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,402 -I can see the sky. -Oh, Gitane? 361 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,571 Me? Oh, no. Well, sure, I guess. 362 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,241 Oh, I was so thrilled. I just love this view. 363 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,701 Uh, I see a pipe and more roof. 364 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,787 Oh, there's a dead bird over there, that's nice. 365 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,330 -(coughs) -ROSE: Oh, sorry. 366 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,498 I thought you smoked. 367 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,999 Not pure hellfire, no. 368 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,334 Well, put it out; I'll smoke it later. 369 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,044 You'll smoke it later? 370 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,088 (Rose speaking French) 371 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,383 You got a dog? 372 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:05,178 -ROSE: Everyone, meet Simone. Simone. -(Simone barks) 373 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,223 Oh. (speaking French) 374 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:09,766 -(continues in French) -(barks) 375 00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,935 -You trained it? -Of course. 376 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:13,812 Okay. Okay, okay. Here we go. 377 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,355 -Papa. -No! No. No. 378 00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:17,190 We're done. It's over. 379 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:18,608 Enough of this. 380 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,318 -You are insane. -Papa. 381 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,653 Look at this place. 382 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,862 Look at you. 383 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,323 This is not-- I'm not-- 384 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,950 That chair is broken. 385 00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,577 -So? -So? 386 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,495 -Mama, we're just concerned. -About what? 387 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,997 You, crazy lady, you. 388 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,082 You just took off with no word. 389 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,084 I told your father I was leaving. 390 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,586 Yes, but he doesn't remember, so it doesn't count. 391 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,379 Well, I'm sorry you were worried. 392 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:42,048 Ah, apology accepted. Get your things. 393 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,092 Pack up your one fork and your half a plate, 394 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,386 your used cigarette and let's go. 395 00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:47,512 No. 396 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,472 You are coming back to New York. 397 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,182 -Right now. -Papa, this isn't sweet. 398 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,976 Fuck sweet. She got a dog. 399 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,394 Let me talk to Mama for a second. 400 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,772 -Can you just wait? -Wait? Wait where? 401 00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,108 There's one room and a partial roof. 402 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,068 The butter's hanging from a windowsill. 403 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,570 The bathroom-- 404 00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,405 -Where is the bathroom? -Down the hall. 405 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,407 -Did she say "down the hall"? -She did. We share. 406 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,159 I think sharing a bathroom sounds fun. 407 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,785 Then get out more. 408 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,996 Rose, Rose. 409 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,582 Rose, you're angry, and trying to prove a point. 410 00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,626 Fine. Prove it back in New York. 411 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,877 (Simone barks) 412 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,128 Oh, you're upsetting her. 413 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,338 ABE: All right, playtime's over. 414 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,131 I am telling that Nazi downstairs 415 00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,383 that you are leaving tonight. 416 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:31,556 Why the hell didn't you teach her to speak French? 417 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,266 -Marie's not a Nazi. -(Marie shouting nearby) 418 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,893 She's just flexible. 419 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,228 Hey, could we maybe try this again? 420 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,938 Somewhere else? Maybe have some dinner? 421 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,523 -Tonight? -Oh, of course. 422 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,068 Oh, I know a lovely little bistro you would love. 423 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,904 It's just around the corner. 424 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,781 Here. 425 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,949 Just give this to the cab driver and he'll take you there. 426 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,701 -9:00? -Sure. 427 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:52,869 We'll be there. 428 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,954 Oh, you're bringing your father. 429 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:58,625 Yeah. I thought, "What the hell." 430 00:15:58,667 --> 00:15:59,959 I just saw a cockroach. 431 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,586 It's heading right toward your door. 432 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,672 Do you want me to kill it for you? 433 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,718 ABE: I know. Okay, I got it. 434 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,930 So... see you at 9:00. 435 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,019 I've missed you, Mama. 436 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,855 I've missed me, too. 437 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,541 (sighs) 438 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,710 So, see, when I said "be sweet..." 439 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,086 I know, I know. 440 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,421 So now what? 441 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,172 Well, she agreed to have dinner with us. 442 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,799 Did she? What a sport. 443 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,259 We should find a hotel. 444 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,386 She agreed to have dinner. 445 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,054 We should check in, get settled. 446 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,515 Deigned. She deigned to dine. 447 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,808 You know, when Ethan acts like this, 448 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,309 I take away his fire truck. 449 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,353 (shouting in French) 450 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,613 ♪ I'd cry like a baby... ♪ 451 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,490 The whole room was frozen. 452 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,452 And Lawrence said, "What did he say?" 453 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,120 And Curtis said, "I quit," 454 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,789 so Lawrence thought Curtis was quitting 455 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,750 and he called him a goddamn pansy. 456 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,877 (chuckles) I'm sorry, Archie. 457 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:25,795 You don't have to keep apologizing. 458 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:27,797 I did not mean to just walk out on you guys like that. 459 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,215 We were all dressed up, 460 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,176 -had our corsages on. -I know. 461 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,219 You heard we didn't put out, that's why you walked, right? 462 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,846 Yes, that was it. 463 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,848 (sighs) Doesn't pay to be a nice girl anymore. 464 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,391 ♪ I'd let out a wail ♪ 465 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,518 Shit. Sally. 466 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,479 -SAL: You going for a record? -Yes. 467 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,023 To go along with my biggest asshole trophy. 468 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,775 You know, if you talked to your uncle... 469 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,401 -No. -I know he'd let you come back. 470 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,195 -Forget it. -You were on fire before you left. 471 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,279 He doesn't want to lose you now. 472 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,031 I was drowning before I left. 473 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,407 That place was like a tomb. 474 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,658 A mausoleum. 475 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,494 Filled with people who are dead. 476 00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,914 Their souls died years ago, they just don't know it yet. 477 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,500 -And you. -Thank you. 478 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,585 So what do you do now? 479 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,337 Now I find an apartment. 480 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:09,255 Tired of living at your parents' house? 481 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,341 What grown man wouldn't love living with his parents? 482 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:14,093 -(chuckling): Yeah? Fun? -So fun. 483 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:16,471 I stay out till they're asleep, I get up before they're awake. 484 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,847 Sounds exhausting. 485 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,474 I've seen a couple of places, 486 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,226 but I need something big enough for Ethan to say over, 487 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,894 but not so big that I have to pay for it. 488 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,480 Sure, one of those nice spacious free one bedrooms. 489 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,482 -If you hear of anything... -(phone ringing) 490 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,108 Sally's. 491 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:31,861 Joel, phone. 492 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,822 Hello? 493 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,782 Well, what did she say it was? 494 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,283 ♪ Fourth of July... ♪ 495 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,618 Is she okay? 496 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,036 ♪ If you ever said... ♪ 497 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,371 Did she say why it's so important? 498 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,081 ♪ You were leaving for good... ♪ 499 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,458 Okay. I'll call her right away. 500 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,168 Thank you, Mrs. Moskowitz. 501 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,545 Something wrong? 502 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,255 My mother wants me to call her. 503 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,006 ♪ I'd cry like a baby ♪ 504 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,426 ♪ With a busted balloon ♪ 505 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,929 -♪ I'd let out a wail ♪ -(line ringing) 506 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,098 -SHIRLEY: Hello? -Hello, Ma, what's wrong? 507 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,641 Oh, Joel, hello. 508 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,810 -What's going on? -Nothing, why? 509 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,645 I got a message there was an emergency. 510 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,814 -Who told you that? -Ma, you called Mrs. Moskowitz, 511 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,315 said you had to talk to me. 512 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,733 Well, here I am. Talk. 513 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,902 Oh, I was out of cheese. 514 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,279 You were out of cheese. 515 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,572 SHIRLEY: Your father had people over 516 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:16,823 and I wanted to serve cheese. 517 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,741 -And that's it? -Yes. 518 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:21,119 Well, now I'm on the edge of my seat, so what happened? 519 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,287 I found some. 520 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,913 You should go to Hollywood, Ma. 521 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,415 They'd pay big money for that story. 522 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,958 It's not a story. 523 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,877 You don't believe your mother? Fine. 524 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,169 You'll miss me when I'm dead. 525 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,254 JOEL: Okay, good-bye. 526 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,797 Oh, shit. 527 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,257 Is that the time? I have to go. 528 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,259 -You sure? -I'm sure. I'm sorry. 529 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:39,888 SAL: That'll be eight bucks, boys. 530 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,307 Buy yourself something nice. 531 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,183 Boy, we're getting really good at this drinking thing. 532 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,060 If you're gonna do something, do it right. 533 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,687 If I don't get back to the office, 534 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,314 they're gonna think I quit, too. 535 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,773 So, drinks tomorrow? 536 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:52,191 Same place, same stool? 537 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,443 You're on. 538 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,278 Hey, Joel, what the hell 539 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,363 was that tape we heard that day at the record store? 540 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,240 I mean, that was Midge, right? 541 00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:02,160 Yeah, she got drunk at a party, started talking. 542 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,828 Some asshole taped it. 543 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,622 Happens to the best of us, pal. 544 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,790 -See ya tomorrow. -Yup. 545 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,502 GENO: Some people say that women aren't funny. 546 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,879 Ah, I think the only people who say that 547 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,047 are men who aren't funny. 548 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,173 Times are changing. 549 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,466 Buy a new watch, pal. 550 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:17,926 SUSIE: Mm, I actually think people 551 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,302 are interested in what a woman has to say. 552 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,720 Maybe they don't admit it. 553 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,305 You think the fact she's so attractive is a problem? 554 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,223 -For who? -Jackie. 555 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,893 Maybe it's confusing to some, but there's a brain there. 556 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:29,187 And people are talking about shit nowadays. 557 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,980 The Pope, you think Bruce 558 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,565 could've mentioned the Pope ten years ago? 559 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,317 Well, he sure as shit is mentioning him now. 560 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,944 You want another coffee? Jackie, get him another coffee. 561 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,279 So when she walked in here the first night, 562 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,198 she was raw, but you could see it. 563 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,951 -I sure did. -Just the coffee, please. 564 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,912 I'm just saying, as a man, I saw that she had thoughts. 565 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,497 You were here when Susie discovered her? 566 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,499 Was I here? I'm always here. 567 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,292 Just waiting for something to happen, man. 568 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,044 It's a boring fucking place. 569 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,379 That could change any minute, Jackie. 570 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,172 So what is the connection with Lenny Bruce? 571 00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:58,132 -They dating? -No, they are not dating. 572 00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,509 He's her champion. 573 00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:00,885 And when the best spots the best, 574 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,595 you can bet it's the best. 575 00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,347 Wait, cross that out. I sound like an idiot. 576 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,224 I just mean, he's the top, 577 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,558 but he sees who's coming up behind him. 578 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,935 So where do you go from here? 579 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,770 We'll, we're, uh, 580 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,689 working on expanding her profile. 581 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,232 Articles like this are gonna help. 582 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,566 Uh, we're being choosy, 583 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,568 picking the right clubs; eventually, 584 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,529 Mrs. Maisel's gonna be a household name. 585 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,489 Mark my words, pal. 586 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,260 Can I help you guys? 587 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,262 -This the one? -I think so. 588 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,972 I thought it was a girl. 589 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,808 Yeah, it's supposed to be a girl. 590 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,393 Is this a girl? This doesn't look like a girl. 591 00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:51,853 It came out of the club when they said she would. 592 00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,771 -Hey, you a girl? -I'm not sure what 593 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,273 -the best answer is here. -I don't think it's a girl. 594 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,816 This is why we need a fucking picture. 595 00:21:56,858 --> 00:21:57,900 Wait. 596 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,821 I see it now. It could be a girl. 597 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:03,698 All right. We're gonna take a walk. 598 00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,825 -Where? -None of your business. Just walk. 599 00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,577 -Can I finish my slice? -Do you understand you're in 600 00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,537 -a little bit of trouble here? -I'm picking up on that. 601 00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:11,664 We're gonna go somewhere, we're gonna have a talk. Now move. 602 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,669 (car horn honking) 603 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,465 Nothing but roadwork. 604 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:23,509 This whole town's a crumbling shit hole. 605 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,178 What the hell do you think you're doing? 606 00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:26,554 -Stretching. -Well, don't. 607 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:29,557 (car horn honking) 608 00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:31,559 You work for Harry Drake, right? 609 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:32,935 Who knows. 610 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,395 Well, you do, theoretically. 611 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:36,647 Shut up. That's what I know. 612 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:39,275 (car horn honking) 613 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,069 -Where are we going? -You'll find out. 614 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,237 Now sit back and make like The Miracle Worker. 615 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,198 Hey, Frank, I got to say, I don't know how I feel 616 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,407 about roughing up a girl. 617 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:47,909 -We don't know it's a girl. -It's a girl. 618 00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,619 Fuck you, Annie Sullivan. 619 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:51,454 -Annie Sullivan could talk. -Not in my car, she couldn't. 620 00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,081 -Doesn't seem right. -We do what we're told. 621 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,624 My sister's a girl. 622 00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:55,708 Look, it's not my favorite assignment, either, 623 00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:57,085 but we chose this line of work. 624 00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:58,377 You want to be a garbage man? 625 00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,837 Fuck, I'd love to be a garbage man. 626 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,798 -Time and a half on weekends. -Great benefits. 627 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,509 Shut the fuck up! 628 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,678 (car horn honks) 629 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,388 It's nice that you like theater. 630 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:15,561 MIDGE: Zelda? 631 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,688 Zelda? 632 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,316 Zelda? Zelda, can you hear me? 633 00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:21,734 ZELDA (over phone): Miss Miriam? 634 00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:22,944 Did you find Mrs. Weissman? 635 00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:23,986 We did. 636 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:25,446 Did she get her underwear? 637 00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:28,074 -I did not ask. -Tell her I sent her underwear. 638 00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:29,367 I will let her know. 639 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,369 -Is Mr. Weissman calm? -Not at all. 640 00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:33,037 Put two jiggers of schnapps in his coffee. 641 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,789 -He will fall right to sleep. -Good tip. 642 00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:36,207 It works for Ethan, too. 643 00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:37,750 -How are the kids? -They're fine. 644 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,335 Mr. Maisel took Ethan to the movies today. 645 00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:40,878 Oh. Th-That's great. 646 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,381 Uh, did, um, did Mr. Maisel leave a message? 647 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,924 -For who? -For me. 648 00:23:44,966 --> 00:23:46,509 -No. -Did he leave a number? 649 00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:47,844 -No. -Oh. 650 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:49,929 But he did say if you need him, just leave some words 651 00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,806 at his father's and someone will tell him. 652 00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:53,141 So he did leave a message? 653 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,684 Oh, yes. That's a message? 654 00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:57,103 -That is a message. -Well, he left that. 655 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,896 I am sorry for you, Miss Miriam. 656 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:02,316 To lose the boy who climbs out your window, that is hard. 657 00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:03,609 She's coming. She's coming. 658 00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:04,861 Zelda? Zelda, I have to go. 659 00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:06,529 Kiss the children for me. 660 00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:07,864 That's her, right? 661 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,240 You don't recognize your own wife? 662 00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:11,033 I haven't recognized her since I got here. 663 00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:12,952 She just walked right through a puddle. Right through a puddle! 664 00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:15,746 -Bonsoir, Ronan. -Bonsoir, Rose. 665 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,171 -MIDGE: Mama? -Oh, there you are, Miriam. 666 00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:25,464 Mwah, mwah. Abe. 667 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:35,725 -I guess we're walking. -Mm-hmm. 668 00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:38,728 I hope you're all starving because I am. 669 00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:41,189 They have the best bread in the world. 670 00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:43,983 They get it from this mad, little man around the corner. 671 00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,860 Oh, uh, no, thank you. Okay. 672 00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:47,820 -Proost. -Proost. 673 00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:49,238 Leave him out of it. 674 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,824 So tell me, how do you like Paris so far? 675 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,826 It's very Parisian. 676 00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:55,870 It's the most beautiful city in the world. 677 00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,538 They talk about the light in New York, 678 00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:00,041 but when the sun sets here, it's magic. 679 00:25:00,082 --> 00:25:02,543 It's why all the great artists in the world 680 00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:05,546 -are so drawn to this place. -She brought the dog. 681 00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:07,173 (Rose speaking French) 682 00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:08,883 We found an adorable hotel right near here. 683 00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:10,343 Oh, yes? What's it called? 684 00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:12,511 Le something. 685 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:14,931 Oh, delicious. (speaks French) 686 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,349 What is this? 687 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:19,227 Simone's favorite. Steak tartare. 688 00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:22,230 -We're eating dog food? -No. She's eating people food. 689 00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:23,940 (Rose speaking French) 690 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,108 It's raw. Is it supposed to be raw? 691 00:25:26,150 --> 00:25:28,402 ROSE: You know, you should go to the Louvre tomorrow. 692 00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:31,781 Get a little culture before you head back home. 693 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:34,492 (Rose continues in French) 694 00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,954 I was thinking we could all spend a day or so 695 00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:40,831 seeing the sights before we all head back home, 696 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,501 the collective we. We three, we. 697 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:46,754 (speaking French) 698 00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,423 Mama, did you hear what Papa just said about the sightseeing? 699 00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:50,508 And the coming home? 700 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:51,926 Well, sightseeing would be lovely. 701 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:52,969 What about the coming home? 702 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:55,179 Oh, dear. She threw up. We'll need a napkin. 703 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,890 Rose, please. It's a dog. It'll clean that up itself. 704 00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,725 Let's talk about getting you home. 705 00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,519 I think we should have the chicken. 706 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,938 I know that sounds simple, but a well-made roast chicken 707 00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:06,190 is the sign of a truly great chef. 708 00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:07,692 Chicken sounds great. So, tomorrow? 709 00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:08,943 Stay in the moment, Miriam. 710 00:26:08,985 --> 00:26:10,444 You need to learn to stay in the moment. 711 00:26:10,486 --> 00:26:12,029 Look around. See where you are. 712 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:14,991 You're in Paris. Take it in. 713 00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:16,909 Internalize it. 714 00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:31,132 Not to cut the internalizing short or anything, 715 00:26:31,173 --> 00:26:33,592 but we really do need to make some plans. 716 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:35,261 I don't make plans anymore. 717 00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,596 Because we have a life back in New York 718 00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:40,141 and up until recently, it was a pretty good life. 719 00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:41,434 It was fine. 720 00:26:41,475 --> 00:26:43,394 Ah, it was a little better than "fine." 721 00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,271 We had D. Porthault sheets. 722 00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:48,107 I'm not even sure what that is, but people always seemed 723 00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:49,859 so impressed when you mentioned it to them. 724 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,028 Yes, that did stop a room. 725 00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:54,447 So, what do you think? Maybe a few more days? 726 00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:56,073 Mm, I don't know. 727 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,325 A week. Two weeks. 728 00:26:57,366 --> 00:26:59,410 No, I have a life here, Abe. 729 00:26:59,452 --> 00:27:01,037 Mama, this isn't your real life. 730 00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:04,040 It's not? (speaks French) 731 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:07,918 Rose, will you please stop talking to the dog? 732 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,796 All right, Abe. My goodness. So threatened by a little dog. 733 00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:13,299 I'm not threatened by a dog. 734 00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:15,634 I'm trying to discuss something serious. 735 00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:17,470 When are you coming home? 736 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,805 -I'm not. -MIDGE: This is ridiculous. Both of you. 737 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,640 W-We need to come to some sort of resolution here. 738 00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:22,933 I have to get back. 739 00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,227 I have work. I-I have children. 740 00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:27,104 -Then you should go. -Not without you. 741 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,564 -I'm happy here. -Bullshit! 742 00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:30,066 -(Simone barking) -Oh, zip it, Simone. 743 00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:33,027 (Rose speaking French) 744 00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:34,612 ABE: Okay. 745 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,489 I've sat here long enough. You want to play it like that? 746 00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,407 Fine. Miriam, go home. 747 00:27:38,449 --> 00:27:42,286 Me? I am not going home without my wife. Period. 748 00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:45,998 Now, if you'll excuse me, my dinnertime is 6:00. 749 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,084 Only gangsters eat at 9:00 750 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:50,878 after some bootlegging and a hot game of craps. 751 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,340 We will continue this nightmare tomorrow. 752 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,760 More wine? 753 00:28:01,806 --> 00:28:04,308 ROSE (laughs): So, was that a chicken or was that a chicken? 754 00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:05,893 That was a chicken. 755 00:28:05,935 --> 00:28:08,562 Mama, how long are you gonna torture Papa like this? 756 00:28:08,604 --> 00:28:10,815 -Oh, your father's just fine. -No. 757 00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,983 No, he's not fine. He's going out of his mind. 758 00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:14,902 As soon as he realizes he can put a bookshelf 759 00:28:14,944 --> 00:28:17,238 where my vanity is, he'll be just fine. 760 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,281 -I don't understand you. -You don't? 761 00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:21,158 You made your point. You won. 762 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,743 I-I know we all let you down, 763 00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:25,079 but you have punished us. You've punished him. 764 00:28:25,121 --> 00:28:26,580 He-he came here to say "I'm sorry." 765 00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:28,040 I didn't hear him say "I'm sorry." 766 00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:29,625 Did you hear him say "I'm sorry"? 767 00:28:29,667 --> 00:28:31,252 -You know what I mean. -I speak two languages. 768 00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:32,545 I didn't hear him say "I'm sorry" 769 00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:34,046 -in either one of them. -He came here. 770 00:28:34,088 --> 00:28:35,840 That is "I'm sorry" in Abe speak. 771 00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:38,008 -It's not good enough. -What more does he need to do? 772 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:39,677 Nothing. I'm not asking him to do anything. 773 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:41,804 -I didn't ask him to come here. -Oh, come on. 774 00:28:41,846 --> 00:28:43,472 You thought he was just gonna let you leave? 775 00:28:43,514 --> 00:28:45,516 I didn't think about it in those terms. 776 00:28:45,558 --> 00:28:47,518 What terms did you think of it in? 777 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,646 I was unhappy. I didn't want to be unhappy anymore. 778 00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:52,690 But you're married. You-you have a life. 779 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,984 You have grandchildren. Remember your grandchildren? 780 00:28:55,025 --> 00:28:57,445 -I do. They're very pleasant. -Mama. 781 00:28:57,486 --> 00:28:59,029 They can visit. Ethan can learn to fish, 782 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,698 and when Esther's old enough to have that nose fixed, 783 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:02,450 the best doctors in the world are here for that. 784 00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:04,702 What about me? Don't you miss me? 785 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:07,079 -You're here. -But I have to leave. 786 00:29:07,121 --> 00:29:09,415 -You'll come back. -What about Papa? 787 00:29:09,457 --> 00:29:12,001 Your father's always been very good at taking care of himself. 788 00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:14,795 Mama, listen to me. You have to get over this. 789 00:29:14,837 --> 00:29:17,089 The world is full of disappointments, 790 00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:18,716 and sometimes people let you down. 791 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:20,509 You can't just run away. 792 00:29:20,551 --> 00:29:22,553 What are you getting so upset about? 793 00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:24,263 You made a commitment to this man. 794 00:29:24,305 --> 00:29:25,723 He is your husband. 795 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,184 You have to go back to him! 796 00:29:29,226 --> 00:29:31,729 Well, look who's talking. 797 00:29:33,439 --> 00:29:35,858 Allons-y, Simone. 798 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:51,499 Hey, drunk or dead? 799 00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:54,168 -Drunk. -You can tell from here? 800 00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:56,837 I got an eye. 801 00:29:56,879 --> 00:29:59,089 You play the ponies? 802 00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:01,342 Once in a while. To relax. 803 00:30:01,383 --> 00:30:03,052 My uncle played the ponies. 804 00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:04,553 Played every day for five years. 805 00:30:04,595 --> 00:30:06,347 Hmm. Then what? He learned his lesson? 806 00:30:06,388 --> 00:30:07,765 I don't know. 807 00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:09,433 One day he disappeared, we never saw him again. 808 00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:11,143 -Oh, you're kidding. -Eh. 809 00:30:11,185 --> 00:30:13,270 He owed someone something. They collected. 810 00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:14,688 I got his jacket, though. 811 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,525 -Oh, sorry about that. -Yeah. 812 00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,361 He might've just moved. Ran. 813 00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:22,863 We got sent a thumb. To be totally honest, 814 00:30:22,905 --> 00:30:24,490 by the time it goes through the postal system, 815 00:30:24,532 --> 00:30:26,325 you can't really tell who a thumb belongs to. 816 00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:29,328 Thumb, huh? Could be Salvatore. He does thumb work. 817 00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:30,955 CONDUCTOR (over P.A.): This is Clinton-Washington. 818 00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:34,208 Next stop, Broadway-East New York. 819 00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:36,919 Going to the Rockaways, huh? 820 00:30:36,961 --> 00:30:38,963 Who said that? 821 00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:42,007 Well, there's nowhere else to go from here but to the Rockaways. 822 00:30:42,049 --> 00:30:43,551 I should know. I grew up there. 823 00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:45,386 You're from the Rockaways? 824 00:30:45,427 --> 00:30:46,845 Yeah, Broad Channel Avenue. 825 00:30:46,887 --> 00:30:49,098 Hey, I'm over on Seagull. 826 00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:50,891 Whoa, you're in the fancy section. 827 00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,810 I don't believe it. Frank, did you hear? 828 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:55,020 -A girl from the Rockaways. -You never meet one of those. 829 00:30:55,062 --> 00:30:57,439 -(chuckles) -Well, you meet 'em. They just don't admit it. 830 00:30:57,481 --> 00:30:59,316 Hey, is Greenie's Luncheonette still there? 831 00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:00,776 Oh, no. We burned it down. 832 00:31:00,818 --> 00:31:02,945 Oh, shame. They made a great patty melt. 833 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,072 Yeah, yeah, they did at that. 834 00:31:05,114 --> 00:31:07,366 A Rockaways girl. Heh! 835 00:31:07,408 --> 00:31:09,410 (chuckles nervously) 836 00:31:12,913 --> 00:31:15,082 Oh, man, you are right on the water. 837 00:31:15,124 --> 00:31:18,252 Yep. This was my parents' place. 838 00:31:18,294 --> 00:31:20,671 My brother and I had a big fight over it. 839 00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,381 Let me guess who won. 840 00:31:22,423 --> 00:31:24,425 (all laugh) 841 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:29,054 (lively jazz music playing) 842 00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:01,086 ♪ ♪ 843 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,948 (singing in French) 844 00:32:50,844 --> 00:32:53,013 -Excuse me? -Oh, American. Wonderful. 845 00:32:53,055 --> 00:32:55,724 25 francs for the show. 846 00:32:55,766 --> 00:32:58,936 Open the tiny purse. 847 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:01,188 Yes. Thank you. 848 00:33:01,230 --> 00:33:03,232 Sit, sit, sit. 849 00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:05,275 ♪ ♪ 850 00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:13,075 Excuse me, can I bum a cigarette? 851 00:33:19,123 --> 00:33:21,083 (coughs) 852 00:33:21,125 --> 00:33:23,127 French got tough lungs, I'll give 'em that. 853 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:32,761 Your zipper. 854 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:35,222 (continues singing in French) 855 00:33:35,264 --> 00:33:36,974 Just let me... 856 00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,559 Ooh. 857 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:46,275 Oh, y-you don't understand. I'm-I'm just trying to... 858 00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:49,611 Oh, hello. Oh. Uh... 859 00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:51,655 ♪ ♪ 860 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:05,753 (zipper closes) 861 00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:15,429 I don't know what you're asking. 862 00:34:15,471 --> 00:34:16,847 Miss America! 863 00:34:16,889 --> 00:34:18,891 (audience cheering) 864 00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,620 Wait, you're... 865 00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:42,289 You're men? All of you? 866 00:34:42,331 --> 00:34:44,166 Did you know this? 867 00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:45,793 Ye-Yes, you probably did know this. 868 00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:47,461 That's probably why you came here. 869 00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:50,672 My God, I've never seen anything like this. 870 00:34:50,714 --> 00:34:52,090 I-I mean, in-in college there were plays 871 00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:54,343 where some of the boys would dress up like girls for a joke, 872 00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:55,803 you know, "Honeybun" for the talent show, 873 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:57,221 but that-that was just socks 874 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,514 stuffed into their mother's bras. 875 00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:00,057 They never looked like that. 876 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,767 I-I don't think men do this in America. 877 00:35:01,809 --> 00:35:04,812 -LILLIAN: Oh, they do. -You're an American. 878 00:35:04,853 --> 00:35:06,605 Sort of. I'm a New Yorker. 879 00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:08,899 So am I. What a small world. Are you on vacation? 880 00:35:08,941 --> 00:35:10,317 Oh, no. I live here now. 881 00:35:10,359 --> 00:35:12,069 Really? So does my mother. 882 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:14,071 Well, she doesn't really live here. 883 00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:15,656 She moved here to spite my father, 884 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:17,533 and now she shares a bathroom with five men, 885 00:35:17,574 --> 00:35:19,535 so not sure who won the first round. 886 00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:21,245 (laughs) 887 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,413 (speaking French) 888 00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:28,460 -(continues in French) -(all laugh) 889 00:35:28,502 --> 00:35:32,047 Uh, so-so my-my father 890 00:35:32,089 --> 00:35:33,757 came here to bring her back, 891 00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:36,051 and he brought me along because he thought I spoke French, 892 00:35:36,093 --> 00:35:37,803 which I don't. I wish I did. 893 00:35:37,845 --> 00:35:39,847 Hey, how much did they charge you for the show? 894 00:35:39,888 --> 00:35:42,683 -20 francs. -Yeah. I had a feeling. 895 00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:45,978 -(speaking French) -(laughs) 896 00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:49,314 Uh, a-anyhow, it's-it's not going so well 897 00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:51,608 between the two of them, and I feel a little guilty 898 00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:54,319 because it's kind of my fault my father is in this situation. 899 00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:57,239 I decided this year to totally uproot my life 900 00:35:57,281 --> 00:35:59,700 and became a different person. 901 00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:02,202 I guess you all know what that's like, huh? 902 00:36:02,244 --> 00:36:04,788 (Lillian speaking French) 903 00:36:06,915 --> 00:36:08,917 (laughter) 904 00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:11,420 Have you ever done that? 905 00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:13,589 Have you ever had your entire life 906 00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,591 change over the course of a few months? 907 00:36:15,632 --> 00:36:17,885 I mean, besides being occupied. That had to be a shift. 908 00:36:17,926 --> 00:36:19,428 (speaking French) 909 00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:23,181 Hey, uh, could you, could you maybe... 910 00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:25,809 Okay. 911 00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:31,064 (chuckles) 912 00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:33,108 (speaking French) 913 00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:38,155 (laughter) 914 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,741 (speaking French) 915 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:43,285 Perfect. 916 00:36:43,327 --> 00:36:46,371 I used to have the perfect life. 917 00:36:46,413 --> 00:36:47,831 (speaking French) 918 00:36:47,873 --> 00:36:49,791 And then it was completely upended 919 00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,793 when my husband had an affair. 920 00:36:51,835 --> 00:36:54,630 (speaking French) 921 00:36:54,671 --> 00:36:56,506 -He cheated on me. -(speaking French) 922 00:36:57,925 --> 00:36:59,384 -That's a bad thing. -(speaking French) 923 00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:03,221 Who here has ever been attacked in public 924 00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:04,848 by their husband's secretary? 925 00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:08,268 (speaking French) 926 00:37:08,310 --> 00:37:09,853 Oh. 927 00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:11,563 Right. It's France. 928 00:37:11,605 --> 00:37:14,149 Back in America, that line gets bupkis. 929 00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:16,985 Anyhow, my-my husband's cheating started a chain of events 930 00:37:17,027 --> 00:37:19,821 that led to me spontaneously getting up on stage 931 00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:21,198 and telling complete strangers, 932 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,659 some of whom don't even speak my language, 933 00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:25,911 all about my humiliating life. 934 00:37:25,953 --> 00:37:27,537 And the more I did it, 935 00:37:27,579 --> 00:37:29,039 the more I could not stop doing it, 936 00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:30,207 and the next thing I knew, 937 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,500 twice a week I'm saying "fuck" onstage. 938 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:34,503 -(continues speaking French) -(laughter) 939 00:37:34,544 --> 00:37:36,129 Damn it, your waist is small. 940 00:37:36,171 --> 00:37:38,131 -(Lillian speaking French) -It's smaller than mine. 941 00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:39,675 Can you just turn the other way? 942 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:42,052 Seriously, your lipstick is killing me. 943 00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:45,639 -(laughter) -Well, that was a mistake. 944 00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:48,642 Your ass is better than your tits. 945 00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:50,352 (speaking French) 946 00:37:50,394 --> 00:37:53,689 -(laughter) -Okay. 947 00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:55,732 Is it, is it really necessary to be that beautiful? 948 00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:57,234 (speaking French) 949 00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:59,987 Because frankly, it's incredibly unfair. 950 00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:02,406 It's not enough that women have to compete with other women, 951 00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:04,741 now men are getting in the mix? 952 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,785 (laughter) 953 00:38:06,827 --> 00:38:08,412 You can't have it all. 954 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:10,247 (speaking French) 955 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:13,583 You can't run the world and have all the pretty underwear, too. 956 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,419 (speaking French) 957 00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:17,254 (laughter) 958 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:18,922 The competition wasn't stiff enough with the hoards 959 00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:20,674 of slutty secretaries roaming the Earth? 960 00:38:20,716 --> 00:38:22,509 -(speaking French) -(laughter) 961 00:38:22,551 --> 00:38:24,177 That's like y-you're already fighting with some asshole 962 00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:25,929 who's trying to get in front of you in line 963 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:27,431 and steal your cab at Bendel's 964 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,099 while you got one arm full of shopping bags 965 00:38:29,141 --> 00:38:30,726 and the other's holding onto your son 966 00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:32,436 so he doesn't run away and drink from the puddles, 967 00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:34,104 and then out of the blue a mugger comes along 968 00:38:34,146 --> 00:38:35,897 and hits you over the head with a piece of pipe 969 00:38:35,939 --> 00:38:39,526 he found at a construction site and completely knocks you out! 970 00:38:39,568 --> 00:38:42,029 (laughter) 971 00:38:45,282 --> 00:38:47,075 See? You see, right? 972 00:38:47,117 --> 00:38:49,494 -It's fun to be up here. -Whew. 973 00:38:49,536 --> 00:38:52,164 -The-the laughter... -(speaking French) 974 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:55,625 ...the adoration, 975 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:59,129 the power of the microphone. 976 00:38:59,171 --> 00:39:02,299 It's intoxicating. Dangerous, too. 977 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:03,508 (speaking French) 978 00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:05,218 You remember my cheating husband? 979 00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:06,803 (speaking French) 980 00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:09,598 -Or as you'd say, "husband"? -(speaking French) 981 00:39:09,639 --> 00:39:11,183 -(laughter) -After his affair... 982 00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:13,018 (speaking French) 983 00:39:13,060 --> 00:39:14,269 ...or as you'd say, "Thursday." 984 00:39:14,311 --> 00:39:16,271 -(speaking French) -(laughter) 985 00:39:16,313 --> 00:39:18,607 -He came back. -(speaking French) 986 00:39:18,648 --> 00:39:21,109 And it seemed like maybe we could 987 00:39:21,151 --> 00:39:24,488 put the whole sordid affair behind us, you know, 988 00:39:24,529 --> 00:39:28,909 be French, and then one night... 989 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:30,368 (laughter) 990 00:39:30,410 --> 00:39:32,579 MIDGE: You've been a great audience, ladies and gentlemen. 991 00:39:32,621 --> 00:39:35,499 That's it for me. My name is Mrs. Maisel. 992 00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:39,169 -Thank you and goodnight! -(cheers and applause) 993 00:39:42,798 --> 00:39:44,216 It worked! 994 00:39:44,257 --> 00:39:46,927 They loved it! That was great! Wasn't I great? 995 00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:49,513 My God, the arrogance. I've created a monster. 996 00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:51,431 You're Norman Mailer in a cocktail dress. 997 00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:53,642 Okay, fine, I'm sorry. Just tell me, was it good? 998 00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:55,811 Come on, you don't need me to say it, do you? 999 00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:57,020 Okay, you're up. 1000 00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:59,064 I'm not going on after that. Are you kidding me? 1001 00:39:59,106 --> 00:40:01,650 -You afraid to follow a girl? -Always and everywhere. 1002 00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,318 JACKIE: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, 1003 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,903 the reason why we're here tonight, 1004 00:40:04,945 --> 00:40:08,573 -I give you, Lenny Bruce! -(cheers and applause) 1005 00:40:21,211 --> 00:40:24,464 Will Elizabeth Taylor become Bar Mitzvah'ed? 1006 00:40:24,506 --> 00:40:26,216 (laughter) 1007 00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:28,844 No, I promise continuity, I'll behave myself. 1008 00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:30,679 I'll do all the lines that we rehearsed. 1009 00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,931 That's the thing, you know, 1010 00:40:32,973 --> 00:40:35,350 I have a, uh, reputation 1011 00:40:35,392 --> 00:40:39,396 for being sort of controversial and irreverent 1012 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:43,191 and-and also the semantic bear trap of bad taste. 1013 00:40:43,233 --> 00:40:44,901 And actually I do have 1014 00:40:44,943 --> 00:40:47,946 and-and always will be accused of bad taste 1015 00:40:47,988 --> 00:40:50,657 by the people who eat in restaurants 1016 00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:53,034 to reserve service, 1017 00:40:53,076 --> 00:40:55,120 -you know, that kind of scene. -(laughter) 1018 00:40:55,162 --> 00:40:57,539 Yeah. But you might be interested 1019 00:40:57,581 --> 00:41:01,209 in how I became offensive. 1020 00:41:01,251 --> 00:41:03,211 Like, it started in school, 1021 00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:05,922 uh, with, um... drinking, 1022 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:07,674 and, uh, I was... 1023 00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:11,136 Really, I was, like, this real depressed kid, you know. 1024 00:41:11,178 --> 00:41:13,722 And, uh, seven or eight years old, 1025 00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:16,016 and I'd get really juiced 1026 00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:17,767 and out of my head, and... 1027 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:21,897 Yeah, yeah, so the teacher would really get bummed, you know, 1028 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:25,650 with me singing and carrying on 1029 00:41:25,692 --> 00:41:27,360 and calling Columbus a fink, 1030 00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:29,571 -(laughter) -and-and boosting Aaron Burr, 1031 00:41:29,613 --> 00:41:31,031 and then smoking. 1032 00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:33,241 See, I don't know if you can see this, 1033 00:41:33,283 --> 00:41:35,619 but I have this tattoo. Can you see that? 1034 00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:38,788 -Aah! Did you see? -Yeah. You were amazing. 1035 00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,165 I was amazing. 1036 00:41:40,207 --> 00:41:41,833 What's the matter? 1037 00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:44,419 Nothing. Just a funny story. 1038 00:41:44,461 --> 00:41:47,172 While you were up there, Joel came in. 1039 00:41:47,214 --> 00:41:49,674 -What? -Yeah. He was here and he saw... 1040 00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:51,218 How much did he hear? 1041 00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:53,428 -I don't know. -How much? 1042 00:41:53,470 --> 00:41:55,138 Well... all of it. 1043 00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:56,514 Oh, God. Oh, God. 1044 00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:58,433 Did he, did he seem upset? 1045 00:41:58,475 --> 00:42:00,602 A little. He said some things. 1046 00:42:00,644 --> 00:42:02,687 -You talked to him? -For a second. 1047 00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:03,730 What-what did he say? 1048 00:42:03,772 --> 00:42:05,523 That he was upset. 1049 00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:07,776 -What did you say? -I said you were a great comic, 1050 00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:09,402 and you were gonna be a star. 1051 00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:10,987 And I might have called him Sal Mineo. 1052 00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:12,489 Which I would like to point out 1053 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,157 that many people would take as a compliment. 1054 00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:15,450 Shit. Shit, shit... 1055 00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,369 Miriam, where are you going? 1056 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,496 (laughter) 1057 00:42:28,755 --> 00:42:31,258 (panting) 1058 00:42:31,299 --> 00:42:34,177 I didn't know you were gonna be there. 1059 00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:38,556 And what would you have done if you did know? 1060 00:42:41,101 --> 00:42:43,270 I'm sorry. 1061 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:46,022 For what? 1062 00:42:47,691 --> 00:42:50,610 I'm sorry you had to hear that. 1063 00:43:36,573 --> 00:43:38,950 I should probably get off the stage now. 1064 00:43:38,992 --> 00:43:40,577 Uh... (sniffles) 1065 00:43:40,618 --> 00:43:42,579 Thank you for listening. 1066 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,998 My name is Mrs. Maisel. 1067 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,833 That's my stage name. 1068 00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:48,835 I-I gave it to myself when I thought 1069 00:43:48,877 --> 00:43:50,628 I was actually gonna be Mrs. Maisel, 1070 00:43:50,670 --> 00:43:54,049 and then after it just seemed darkly ironic, so... 1071 00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:55,925 I kept it. 1072 00:43:57,427 --> 00:44:00,221 (quietly): So... 1073 00:44:00,263 --> 00:44:01,890 bye. 1074 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:06,394 -(Midge sniffles) -(woman coughs) 1075 00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:14,611 Here's the card of a psychiatrist 1076 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,613 who just moved to New York from Boston. 1077 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,616 He's done wonders for my friend Sylvia Plath. 1078 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:21,659 Call him. 1079 00:44:21,701 --> 00:44:23,203 Thanks. 1080 00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:28,833 ♪ ♪ 1081 00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:31,461 ♪ Autumn in New York ♪ 1082 00:44:33,088 --> 00:44:37,634 ♪ Why does it seem so inviting? ♪ 1083 00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:39,052 MOISHE: I just can't understand 1084 00:44:39,094 --> 00:44:40,678 what goes on in that head of yours! 1085 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,472 It's like a panoply of meshuggeneh! 1086 00:44:42,514 --> 00:44:44,432 -SHIRLEY: He's our son. -MOISHE: He's not in the business. 1087 00:44:44,474 --> 00:44:47,102 -MOISHE: He doesn't understand. -SHIRLEY: He's smart. Explain it. 1088 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:48,603 MOISHE: No, I don't want to explain it. 1089 00:44:48,645 --> 00:44:50,313 He chose to keep his life separate, 1090 00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:51,523 so, goddamm it, keep it separate! 1091 00:44:51,564 --> 00:44:53,358 SHIRLEY: Well, I didn't tell him anything. 1092 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,485 MOISHE: You called him! You called him like a crazy person. 1093 00:44:55,527 --> 00:44:56,945 If I hadn't gotten to you first... 1094 00:44:56,986 --> 00:44:58,780 SHIRLEY: Well, you did and I covered. 1095 00:44:58,822 --> 00:45:01,116 MOISHE: You covered? Like a Yiddish Theda Bara you covered. 1096 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,952 SHIRLEY: He thinks I ran out of cheese. He thinks I'm insane. 1097 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,578 -MOISHE: He's right! -SHIRLEY: He could help. 1098 00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:07,414 MOISHE: Bullshit! The company is my business. 1099 00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:08,832 I'll take care of it. 1100 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:09,833 -SHIRLEY: Fine. -MOISHE: Understand? 1101 00:45:09,874 --> 00:45:12,460 SHIRLEY: Fine! Yes! Fine! 1102 00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,504 (door closes) 1103 00:45:16,506 --> 00:45:17,674 (laughter) 1104 00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:20,051 I can't believe you shot a clown. 1105 00:45:20,093 --> 00:45:23,179 His flower-- whoa-- started spewing water 1106 00:45:23,221 --> 00:45:24,472 all over the place. 1107 00:45:24,514 --> 00:45:27,100 Colored scarves were shooting out of his mouth. 1108 00:45:27,142 --> 00:45:30,311 People were killing themselves to get out of that Volkswagen. 1109 00:45:30,353 --> 00:45:31,980 It was great. 1110 00:45:32,021 --> 00:45:34,274 I have to tell you, Saverina, this food is amazing. 1111 00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:35,608 I never had moussaka before. 1112 00:45:35,650 --> 00:45:37,318 Wouldn't you know I go out of my way 1113 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,447 to marry a Sicilian girl, and all she cooks is Greek. 1114 00:45:40,488 --> 00:45:41,990 (chuckles) Hey, Sophia, 1115 00:45:42,031 --> 00:45:43,450 you find that quarter I hid yet? 1116 00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:44,701 No. 1117 00:45:44,742 --> 00:45:46,578 Oh, you don't find it by the time I finish, 1118 00:45:46,619 --> 00:45:47,745 I'm taking it back. 1119 00:45:47,787 --> 00:45:49,706 SOPHIA: No, no, no, no, no! 1120 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:50,832 Cute kid. 1121 00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:52,500 -Thanks. -So, Susie, 1122 00:45:52,542 --> 00:45:54,502 we've been talking, and if you want us 1123 00:45:54,544 --> 00:45:56,880 to do a little digging about your uncle, 1124 00:45:56,921 --> 00:46:00,300 we know where they, you know, do a little digging, 1125 00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:01,593 if you get my drift. 1126 00:46:01,634 --> 00:46:03,887 Wow, that is a really sweet offer, 1127 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:05,722 but no one really misses him. 1128 00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:06,931 Thanks, though. 1129 00:46:08,141 --> 00:46:10,852 Mmm... this is better than the moussaka. 1130 00:46:10,894 --> 00:46:13,021 Seriously, Saverina, you are a genius. 1131 00:46:13,062 --> 00:46:15,231 Wait till you taste her dessert. 1132 00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:17,108 You know what, this is the best abduction I've ever had. 1133 00:46:17,150 --> 00:46:18,401 I'm serious here. 1134 00:46:18,443 --> 00:46:19,611 Hey, our pleasure. 1135 00:46:19,652 --> 00:46:21,571 God, it's so good. 1136 00:46:23,656 --> 00:46:26,201 SUSIE: Ah, shit! Almost. 1137 00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:28,077 I'll tell you one thing, you don't throw like a girl. 1138 00:46:28,119 --> 00:46:29,913 Okay, okay, okay. Ha! 1139 00:46:29,954 --> 00:46:31,539 -(glass shatters) -SUSIE: Asshole. 1140 00:46:31,581 --> 00:46:33,124 Every time. He hits it every time. 1141 00:46:33,166 --> 00:46:34,959 I roughed up a Major League pitcher once. 1142 00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:36,836 Yeah, what, so you got his abilities through osmosis? 1143 00:46:36,878 --> 00:46:39,214 No, but he gave me some tips before I broke his arm. 1144 00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:41,299 Okay, here goes nothing. 1145 00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:43,259 -(water splashes) -I'm fighting the wind. 1146 00:46:43,301 --> 00:46:45,178 -Oh, come on. -What? -There was a gust of wind 1147 00:46:45,220 --> 00:46:46,804 that came right as I started to throw. 1148 00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:48,973 The only wind out here is coming out of your ass, pal. 1149 00:46:49,015 --> 00:46:51,643 -I win. Five bucks. Pay up. -I don't have any money. 1150 00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:53,645 Guess you're just gonna have to kill me. 1151 00:46:53,686 --> 00:46:55,730 (laughter) 1152 00:46:55,772 --> 00:46:58,358 Speaking of killing me, it's getting pretty late here. 1153 00:46:58,399 --> 00:47:00,735 Okay, come on. Let's get you home. 1154 00:47:00,777 --> 00:47:04,614 Oh, hey, a little business first. 1155 00:47:04,656 --> 00:47:06,741 You skated here tonight, Susie. 1156 00:47:06,783 --> 00:47:08,868 You're from the neighborhood, we like you, 1157 00:47:08,910 --> 00:47:10,954 my family likes you, so we're gonna just 1158 00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,455 tell our boss we couldn't find you. 1159 00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:13,831 I appreciate that, Frank. 1160 00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:15,750 But this problem isn't going away, 1161 00:47:15,792 --> 00:47:17,377 and next time they could send some other guys. 1162 00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:20,171 Guys who don't have a problem roughing up a girl. 1163 00:47:20,213 --> 00:47:21,756 They could send Tony. 1164 00:47:21,798 --> 00:47:24,551 Tony beat the shit out of Martha Raye last week. 1165 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:26,386 Had a steak dinner at Keens after. 1166 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:28,179 -Yeah, I get it. -It would be good if you could 1167 00:47:28,221 --> 00:47:29,347 find a way to resolve this problem 1168 00:47:29,389 --> 00:47:31,266 before that happens, okay? 1169 00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:33,351 Now, come on. 1170 00:47:33,393 --> 00:47:35,937 Saverina made you a fuckin' doggie bag. 1171 00:47:35,979 --> 00:47:38,273 ♪ ♪ 1172 00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:41,025 ♪ Picture me ♪ 1173 00:47:41,067 --> 00:47:43,987 ♪ Upon your knee ♪ 1174 00:47:46,573 --> 00:47:49,617 ♪ With tea for two ♪ 1175 00:47:49,659 --> 00:47:53,246 ♪ And two for tea ♪ 1176 00:47:55,456 --> 00:48:00,086 ♪ Me for you ♪ 1177 00:48:00,128 --> 00:48:02,422 ♪ And you for me ♪ 1178 00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:05,883 -(sighs) -♪ Alone. ♪ 1179 00:48:12,015 --> 00:48:13,683 Joely! Joely! 1180 00:48:13,725 --> 00:48:16,185 -JOEL: What, Ma? -You have a call. Collect. 1181 00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:18,271 -Okay. -Collect! Collect! 1182 00:48:18,313 --> 00:48:20,064 -I'm coming. -Collect! Let's go! 1183 00:48:20,106 --> 00:48:22,400 -Geez, Ma. -When you hear "collect," 1184 00:48:22,442 --> 00:48:24,235 you get your tuchis out here. 1185 00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:31,784 -Hello? -MIDGE: Joel? 1186 00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:34,245 Midge? What's the matter? 1187 00:48:34,287 --> 00:48:36,205 So, this is how it's gonna be from now on? 1188 00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:37,915 I call, and it's, "Midge, what's the matter?" 1189 00:48:37,957 --> 00:48:42,879 No. No, but... what's the matter? 1190 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,256 You won't leave a number. You won't talk to me. 1191 00:48:45,298 --> 00:48:47,717 I-I can't find you. I don't know where you are. 1192 00:48:47,759 --> 00:48:48,760 I'm at my parents'. 1193 00:48:48,801 --> 00:48:49,927 No, I know you're at your parents'. 1194 00:48:49,969 --> 00:48:51,596 -Then you know where I am. -I don't-- I don't mean 1195 00:48:51,638 --> 00:48:53,306 I want to know where you are, I mean I want to know 1196 00:48:53,348 --> 00:48:56,059 where you are; I want to talk. 1197 00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,436 I think it would be better to have a little space right now. 1198 00:48:58,478 --> 00:49:01,356 -Why? Why?! -Midge, you know why. 1199 00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:04,067 No. It was, it was just that night. 1200 00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:05,652 That night screwed everything up. 1201 00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:07,236 Hey, what's going on with you tonight? 1202 00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:08,488 Where's this coming from? 1203 00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,114 It's coming from me. 1204 00:49:10,156 --> 00:49:12,617 It's coming from that fucking bridge. 1205 00:49:12,659 --> 00:49:14,869 -What bridge? -(sirens wailing in background) 1206 00:49:14,911 --> 00:49:16,204 I hear sirens. 1207 00:49:16,245 --> 00:49:17,497 That's not New York. Where are you? 1208 00:49:17,538 --> 00:49:18,706 -France. -What?! 1209 00:49:18,748 --> 00:49:20,375 I want to talk about our future. 1210 00:49:20,416 --> 00:49:22,627 -Did you say France? -Because I really think we can work this out. 1211 00:49:22,669 --> 00:49:23,961 (sighs) Midge... 1212 00:49:24,003 --> 00:49:25,296 -We have children. -Yes. 1213 00:49:25,338 --> 00:49:26,673 We will have to see each other forever. 1214 00:49:26,714 --> 00:49:28,007 -Yes. -Until we are dead. 1215 00:49:28,049 --> 00:49:29,926 -Yes. -And then for four to six months after. 1216 00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:31,928 Okay, apparently you know something I don't. 1217 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,138 So we are never gonna be fully out of each other's lives. 1218 00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,265 -I know that. -So, if we can't ever leave, 1219 00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:37,725 then let's figure out how to stay. 1220 00:49:37,767 --> 00:49:39,977 -Midge, come on. -We were on a path. 1221 00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:42,355 We were heading somewhere. We were almost there. 1222 00:49:42,397 --> 00:49:44,607 -I know. -It was just that night at the club. 1223 00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:46,901 That's it. I-If that hadn't have happened... 1224 00:49:46,943 --> 00:49:50,613 -It happened. -But... I don't understand. 1225 00:49:50,655 --> 00:49:52,490 I don't understand why we can't work it out. 1226 00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:53,741 There has to be a way. 1227 00:49:53,783 --> 00:49:56,160 -There's not. -Don't say that. 1228 00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:57,829 I love you, Joel. 1229 00:49:57,870 --> 00:49:59,956 I love you, too. 1230 00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:03,918 I am in love with you. So deeply in love with you. 1231 00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,462 -You're killing me, Midge. -We can do this. 1232 00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:08,423 We can figure this out. I can figure this out. 1233 00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:10,133 I can figure anything out. I am amazing. 1234 00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:12,135 I know you are, you don't have to tell me any of this. 1235 00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:16,180 So then, why? Why? Tell me why. 1236 00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:18,975 Because for us to be together, you'd have to give it up. 1237 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:21,769 What? Stand-up? 1238 00:50:21,811 --> 00:50:23,563 I can't be in a marriage where my wife is going off 1239 00:50:23,604 --> 00:50:25,606 and talking about me to a room full of strangers. 1240 00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:28,776 Talking about my faults, my mistakes, my failures. 1241 00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:30,236 Y-You don't understand, the whole point is 1242 00:50:30,278 --> 00:50:31,946 you go off and talk about your life. 1243 00:50:31,988 --> 00:50:34,782 No, no, no, I do understand. I understand completely. 1244 00:50:34,824 --> 00:50:36,993 I know you have to talk about your life. 1245 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:40,079 That's why you're good, 'cause you're honest. 1246 00:50:40,121 --> 00:50:42,498 It's real, it's authentic. 1247 00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,250 It's everything I wasn't up there. 1248 00:50:44,292 --> 00:50:48,838 I get it. I just can't live with it. 1249 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,507 I wish I could. Maybe another man could, 1250 00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:54,260 but I just can't be a joke. 1251 00:50:54,302 --> 00:50:56,888 You are not a joke. 1252 00:50:56,929 --> 00:50:59,015 Do you want to quit? 1253 00:51:02,226 --> 00:51:03,686 No. 1254 00:51:03,728 --> 00:51:07,231 I don't want you to quit either. 1255 00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:09,484 You're too good. 1256 00:51:09,525 --> 00:51:13,362 So... you see where I'm going here? 1257 00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:15,573 Follow me down the road. If you're not gonna stop, 1258 00:51:15,615 --> 00:51:17,033 I can't be there for it. 1259 00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:25,500 Now... why are you in France? 1260 00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:27,627 Long story. 1261 00:51:27,668 --> 00:51:30,421 I'd like to hear it sometime. 1262 00:51:30,463 --> 00:51:33,883 I love you. 1263 00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:37,762 I love you, too, honey. 1264 00:51:42,058 --> 00:51:44,143 And you're gonna be okay. 1265 00:51:46,771 --> 00:51:48,397 (line clicks) 1266 00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:55,905 (shudders, exhales) 1267 00:52:29,689 --> 00:52:31,816 ♪ One night in Paris ♪ 1268 00:52:31,858 --> 00:52:36,028 ♪ Is like a year in any other place ♪ 1269 00:52:36,070 --> 00:52:38,239 ♪ One night in Paris ♪ 1270 00:52:38,281 --> 00:52:41,075 ♪ Will wipe the smile off your pretty face ♪ 1271 00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:44,745 ♪ One girl in Paris ♪ 1272 00:52:44,787 --> 00:52:48,624 ♪ Is like loving every woman ♪ 1273 00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:52,044 -♪ One night in Paris ♪ -♪ One night in Paris ♪ 1274 00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:55,798 ♪ One night in Paris ♪ 1275 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,801 ♪ May be your last ♪ 1276 00:52:58,843 --> 00:53:01,971 -♪ Is he gonna buy? ♪ -MAN: You want a little culture? 1277 00:53:02,013 --> 00:53:03,431 ♪ Is he gonna pay? ♪ 1278 00:53:03,472 --> 00:53:05,308 Maybe Monsieur is into photographs, non? 1279 00:53:05,349 --> 00:53:09,353 ♪ Or is he gonna fall in love the all-American way? ♪ 1280 00:53:09,395 --> 00:53:11,272 I got a watch with a beautiful Swiss movement. 1281 00:53:11,314 --> 00:53:12,773 ♪ Is he gonna buy? ♪ 1282 00:53:12,815 --> 00:53:14,525 Forget the watch, I'll show you a good time! 1283 00:53:14,567 --> 00:53:15,818 ♪ Is he gonna pay? ♪ 1284 00:53:15,860 --> 00:53:17,653 Le connoisseur want something different? 1285 00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,947 ♪ Or is he gonna fall in love ♪ 1286 00:53:19,989 --> 00:53:22,575 ♪ The all-American way? ♪ 1287 00:53:25,161 --> 00:53:30,917 ♪ Oh, you know, you ain't no Casanova ♪ 1288 00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:36,047 ♪ You can't even do the Bossa Nova ♪ 1289 00:53:36,088 --> 00:53:39,300 ♪ Or the Tango ♪ 1290 00:53:39,342 --> 00:53:41,719 ♪ Or Samba ♪ 1291 00:53:41,761 --> 00:53:43,763 ♪ ♪ 1292 00:53:47,183 --> 00:53:52,980 WOMEN: ♪ Though you are so very charming ♪ 1293 00:53:53,022 --> 00:53:55,232 MEN: ♪ No, you ain't no ♪ 1294 00:53:55,274 --> 00:53:59,403 ♪ Casanova ♪ 1295 00:53:59,445 --> 00:54:01,781 ♪ One night in Paris ♪ 1296 00:54:01,822 --> 00:54:05,409 ♪ Is like a year in any other place ♪ 1297 00:54:05,451 --> 00:54:07,745 ♪ One night in Paris ♪ 1298 00:54:07,787 --> 00:54:11,374 ♪ Will wipe the smile off your pretty face ♪ 1299 00:54:11,415 --> 00:54:13,250 ♪ Each night in Paris ♪ 1300 00:54:13,292 --> 00:54:16,253 -♪ Each night in Paris ♪ -♪ Each night in Paris ♪ 1301 00:54:16,295 --> 00:54:20,132 ♪ Each night in Paris ♪ 1302 00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,343 ♪ May be your last. ♪