1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:11,804 ♪ See the pyramids along the Nile ♪ 2 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:17,393 ♪ Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle ♪ 3 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:20,813 ♪ Just remember, darling ♪ 4 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,982 ♪ All the while... ♪ 5 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,734 Hello, there. 6 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,360 Remember me? 7 00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:27,778 Vaguely. 8 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,572 Hey. Joel Maisel. 9 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,781 Palmer Witherspoon. 10 00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:31,991 Really? 11 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,701 Are you here with a date, Joel? 12 00:00:33,743 --> 00:00:34,869 Not yet. 13 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,328 You want another drink? 14 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,496 I'll get it. 15 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,664 Same thing? 16 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:39,874 Amaretto sour. 17 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,168 Yikes. We'll work on that. 18 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,670 Amaretto sour, please, Palmer. 19 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:48,090 I'm good, Palmer, thanks. 20 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,925 I thought we got Goebbels in '45. 21 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,093 Stop it. 22 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,636 He's so white and shiny. 23 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:53,721 Palmer's a good guy. 24 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,097 Yeah. Bar's ten feet away. 25 00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,515 Surprised he didn't get lost. 26 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,850 (laughs) 27 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,811 Hey, I made you laugh. 28 00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:03,063 ♪ So alone... ♪ 29 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,482 I like when you laugh. 30 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:07,485 Joel. 31 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,612 You know, it's funny, but lately, 32 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,238 every time I turn around, you're there. 33 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,323 Yeah. 34 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,324 Get used to it. 35 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,533 Huh. 36 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,869 -(laughs) -You like this song? 37 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,829 I do like this song. 38 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:22,374 Good. 'Cause it's ours now. 39 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,378 We should not be doing this. 40 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,380 That's half the fun. 41 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:31,217 Palmer's coming back. 42 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,093 Yeah, I saw him asking for directions. 43 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:35,095 (Midge chuckles) 44 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:38,516 ♪ Wet with rain, but remember... ♪ 45 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,768 You're destined for better things than this. 46 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:44,647 ♪ You're home again ♪ 47 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:49,985 ♪ You belong ♪ 48 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:53,405 ♪ To me. ♪ 49 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,283 -(door closes) -VICKI: No, this is the guy I met two weeks ago 50 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:58,077 at the Bon Soir, the one who's going bald on top? 51 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,245 TRISH: With the greasy mustache... 52 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,329 VICKI: Yeah, that guy. 53 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,831 This blows my mind. 54 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,999 I know, you know? Then he says-- get this-- 55 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,669 he says "So, the cash, now" just like that. 56 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,504 You know me, I don't put up with shit, 57 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:10,172 so I grab his knife and... Do I owe you money? 58 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,382 Sorry. 59 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,801 Anyhow, I grab his knife and... 60 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,469 I thought he'd move. 61 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,720 Hey, everyone dies. 62 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:17,888 Worst part was the blood. 63 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,098 It was everywhere. 64 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,307 On the walls, on the floor. 65 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,517 I mean, look at this. 66 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,893 He was like a fire hydrant. 67 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,311 And I love this top. 68 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,729 -Salt it. -What? 69 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,481 The stain. 70 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:30,317 Salt it, then pour boiling water on it till the water runs clear. 71 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:31,735 Stain should be gone. 72 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,112 Neat. 73 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,739 Thanks. 74 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,533 Gonna need a lot of salt everywhere. 75 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,159 I would listen to her. 76 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,704 She looks like she knows what she's talking about. 77 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,080 VICKI: Wonder if she has other tips 78 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,915 for, like, bullet holes and stuff. 79 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,000 (phone rings) 80 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,418 Hello? 81 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,878 SUSIE (on phone): Yeah, uh, Mrs. Weissman? 82 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,462 Yes? 83 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,256 Hello, I'm a friend of your daughter's. 84 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:53,799 ROSE: And? 85 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,426 Well, she just wanted me to call 86 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,345 to say that, uh, she's fine, nothing's wrong, 87 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,806 she's just gonna be home a little later than usual. 88 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,391 She just wanted to make sure it's okay you guys 89 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,268 keep an eye on the kids a while longer. 90 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:05,978 Who is this? 91 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,354 Well, I... I told you, ma'am, 92 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:08,856 I'm a, I'm a friend of Midge's. 93 00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:10,941 Your name. What's your name? 94 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,735 Uh... Carol. 95 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,028 You had to think about it? 96 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,279 -Janet? -Wait. 97 00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,864 Do you not know who you are? 98 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,949 -Not at the moment. -Where is she? 99 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,368 -Where's Miriam? -Look, this is really about the kids. 100 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,661 What about the kids? 101 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,039 You know, I just blanked. 102 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,916 But look, I just-- all I know is Midge is fine, 103 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,084 she will pick up the kids later, she's just gonna be late. 104 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,544 Uh-huh. 105 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,547 Let's start again from the top, shall we? 106 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,299 Sure. 107 00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:36,550 OFFICER: Miriam Maisel? 108 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,843 -Yes. -Your bail's posted. 109 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,136 MIDGE: Lipstick, cigarettes... 110 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:41,889 Hey, I had some Necco Wafers in here. 111 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,223 They're gone. 112 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,392 A little lesson that crime doesn't pay. 113 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,852 You got a coat? It's cold out. 114 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,897 Susie probably has it. 115 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:52,274 -You're not Susie. -Nope. 116 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,484 Thought Susie bailed me out. 117 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,194 I was working down the street, 118 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,780 heard some cute uptown chick got arrested doing a set. 119 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,865 I put two and two together. 120 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:00,991 Well... 121 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,117 Thanks. 122 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,452 I guess we're even. 123 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,996 -Hey, I threw in cab fare. -Aw, rats. 124 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,957 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪ 125 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,751 Called me cute, huh? 126 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,836 Here, I got it. 127 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,880 Thanks. 128 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,805 MIDGE: Hey, I thought you were bailing me out. 129 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,307 -What's wrong? -Your mother. That's what's wrong. 130 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,851 -So you called her. -Yeah, I called her, and it was awful. 131 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,145 I mean, I forgot my own name. How the hell does that happen? 132 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,856 -My mother can intimidate. -I was Carol for a second, 133 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,650 then I was Donna or some shit, then I was Mrs. Miniver 134 00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:36,026 for like a full three minutes. 135 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,237 -Mrs. Miniver? From the movie? -Yeah. 136 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,822 She was spinning webs around me, man, 137 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:44,410 she was like a evil web-spinning spider death sorceress. 138 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,120 I almost confessed to the Lindbergh kidnapping. 139 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,329 They caught that guy. 140 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,373 Oh, shit. You're not gonna believe this. 141 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:50,874 -Holy shit. -What? 142 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,710 The best comedian-- I mean, the best fucking comedian 143 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,087 in the business-- is right over there. -Where? 144 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,588 SUSIE: Right there. 145 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,090 You mean Lenny? 146 00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,801 -Really? "Lenny," like you know him? -Yeah. 147 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,052 How the hell do you know Lenny Bruce? 148 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,554 -He bailed me out. -Why? 149 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,055 'Cause I bailed him out. 150 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,181 What the hell? I've only known you two days. 151 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,225 LENNY: Machine ate my quarters. 152 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,601 You should tell someone. 153 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,395 Or have one of mine, uh, Lenny, please. 154 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,397 Thanks. 155 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,315 -You got a light? -Uh, sure. 156 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,443 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh. ♪ 157 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,944 (whispering): What the fuck? 158 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,195 Susie, this is Lenny. 159 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,613 -Lenny, Susie. -LENNY: Oh, yeah. 160 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,407 -From the Gaslight, right? -(chuckles) 161 00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:27,036 Yeah, I guess I precede me. My-- uh... r-reputation does. 162 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,663 Susie runs the Gaslight, but she does more than that. 163 00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:32,791 Yeah, uh, yeah, I'm-I'm branching out at the moment. 164 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,752 I-I got some very big plans in the works. 165 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,961 Very big plans. 166 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,005 Cool. What plans? 167 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,051 Blank. Second time tonight. 168 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,260 I need some coffee. 169 00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:44,386 Could-- coffee? 170 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,388 That looks scary. 171 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:47,639 And familiar. 172 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,308 I have to appear in court. 173 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,268 Oh, what's more fun than that? 174 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,729 -A late-in-life bris, that's more fun. -Uh-uh. 175 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,355 Let your manager take care of this. 176 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,357 Manager. That's what I blanked on earlier. 177 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,401 -I'm a manager now. -Cool. 178 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,986 I will get you a lawyer. 179 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,238 Lawyer talk: my cue to leave. 180 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,783 -Thanks again, Lenny, really. -Anytime. 181 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,409 Oh, hey, I'm introducing a friend's combo 182 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,203 at the Vanguard Friday night, you should come by. 183 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,370 Uh, both of you. 184 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,789 -We'll see. -I will, uh, 185 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,499 very seriously consider that, Mr. Bruce. 186 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,625 Thank you. 187 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,752 See you. 188 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,463 (exhales) 189 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,298 Figures. 190 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,884 -What? -You get arrested, you get bailed out by Lenny Bruce. 191 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,469 If I got arrested, I'd be bailed out 192 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,222 by whatever Village tinker bell has blow job money 193 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:31,308 left over from the night before. 194 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,935 ROSE: She said nothing. 195 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,145 She just waltzed in, scooped up the kids, 196 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,939 yelled "thanks" and left. 197 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,065 No explanation. 198 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:39,650 It was 1:15 in the morning. 199 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,276 And it was cold last night. 200 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,653 What does that have to do with anything? 201 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,238 Nothing, I'm just saying it was cold. 202 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,364 Where's the coffee? 203 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,782 Why is there no coffee? 204 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,992 Her hair was still wet, like she just showered. 205 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,619 Who showers at that hour? 206 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,621 Where's Zelda? Zelda's in charge of coffee. 207 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,706 She's acting so strange and different. 208 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,874 ABE: Why? 209 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,709 Why? Her marriage, Abe. 210 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,128 When did Zelda get married? 211 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,463 -Not Zelda, your daughter. -Oh, her. 212 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,090 Yes, her. I know it's a horrible time, 213 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:05,175 but I don't know what's going on with her. 214 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,220 I don't know what she's doing or where she's going. 215 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:11,014 Yesterday, after that blow-up at dinner, she just left. 216 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,142 And she had a place to go. 217 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,977 If I got mad at you at 10:00 at night, 218 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,687 and I walked out that door, I would not have a place to go. 219 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,813 I'd be standing outside the door thinking, 220 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,273 "I don't have a place to go." 221 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,400 She walked out that door and had a place to go. 222 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:25,612 And that call from this strange person, this "Mrs. Miniver." 223 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,447 Mrs. Miniver? From the movie? 224 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,199 Obviously it wasn't Mrs. Miniver, Abe. 225 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,909 Somebody stole my briefcase. 226 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,328 Who is this person that doesn't give me her name? 227 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,747 That doesn't even seem to know what she's calling about. 228 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,749 She didn't even know the kids' names. 229 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,459 I even heard her crying at one point. 230 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,461 I was trying to get more information out of her 231 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,463 and I realized she wasn't even on the other end of the phone, 232 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,216 she had gone somewhere, I was talking to myself. 233 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:48,427 -Abe, are you listening? -Yes! 234 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,553 Then acknowledge me. 235 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,388 Somebody really did steal my briefcase. 236 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,764 It's in the foyer. 237 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,558 It shouldn't be there. 238 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,810 This is not my relationship with Miriam. 239 00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,645 This is not how it's always been. 240 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,647 I used to know all her friends. 241 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,274 I used to know what she did. 242 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,942 I used to know her mind. 243 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,652 Now I know nothing. 244 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,322 It was in the foyer. 245 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:13,243 I'm very concerned about her. 246 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:18,582 I have that thing tonight. 247 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,293 (door opens and closes) 248 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,337 (birds chirping) 249 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,602 MIDGE: It's the fourth time 250 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:40,229 in three days. 251 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,147 I wake up and he's just standing there, staring at me. 252 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,398 IMOGENE: Spooky. 253 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,025 MIDGE: He's never done this. 254 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,985 Well, it's pretty obvious what this is about. 255 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,529 -It is? -The man whose name we do not speak. 256 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,074 -You mean Joel? -I thought we weren't speaking his name. 257 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,576 He's living with you, Imogene, how can you not speak his name? 258 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:55,827 I'm just trying to be sensitive. 259 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,037 I don't think that's it. 260 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,664 I mean, Ethan's so young, 261 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,166 and Joel was usually off to work before he was even up. 262 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,336 Oh, no, Ethan knows, because kids know everything. 263 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,004 They're like those monkeys who know a tsunami's coming 264 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,214 before everyone else. 265 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,382 They know. 266 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,508 Maybe. 267 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,759 Well, what does Dr. Spock say? 268 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,052 I don't know. 269 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,512 Have you not consulted your Dr. Spock? 270 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,638 No. 271 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,806 But you have Dr. Spock. 272 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,057 I think so. 273 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,684 Midge, have you not read Dr. Spock? 274 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,060 -I've skimmed it. -Skimmed it? 275 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,604 Midge, you don't skim Dr. Spock, 276 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:26,441 you absorb Dr. Spock, you inhale Dr. Spock. 277 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,110 I mean, how are your children even alive 278 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,529 -and you have not read Dr. Spock? -I'm not sure. 279 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,407 It's everything you need to know about raising children. 280 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,825 I got my copy the day I met Archie. 281 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,535 I brought it along on our second date. 282 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,953 He was surprised. 283 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,080 Oh, shoot, I'm talking about Archie. 284 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,581 -So? -He's my husband. 285 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,166 Yes, I know, I know Archie. 286 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,459 But I wasn't going to say the "H" word. 287 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,420 -You can say it. -You're getting upset. 288 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,671 -I'm not getting upset. -You're mad at me 289 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,089 -that we took him in. -I'm not mad at you, 290 00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:51,049 -it's not your fault. -How could it possibly be my fault? 291 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,634 -I said that it wasn't. -It's not. 292 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,636 -Okay. -So you're fine with this whole situation? 293 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,096 Well, I'm not loving it. 294 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,639 I knew it. You hate me. 295 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,433 -I don't hate you. -You're ganging up on me. 296 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,976 There's one of me, Imogene. 297 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,978 One person cannot gang up on someone. That's math. 298 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,521 -You sound mad. -I know. 299 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,606 I'm sorry. 300 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,608 I hate Joel. 301 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,611 I resigned as president of his fan club yesterday. 302 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,780 (piano playing) 303 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,658 Hello. 304 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,118 Hello? Mama? 305 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,536 Coming. 306 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,371 Oh, hello, handsome. 307 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,540 Oh, you look nice. Chanel? 308 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:24,624 Jacques Fath. 309 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,709 -New? -Kind of. 310 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,836 Pretty. Where are you off to? 311 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,671 Dentist. 312 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,506 So, Esther's got an ear infection again. 313 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,758 That's because her forehead 314 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,009 is putting pressure on her eardrums. 315 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,510 Did you tell the doctor that? 316 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,220 MIDGE: I will mention it next time I see him. 317 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,347 Abe, Miriam is here. 318 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,598 I see her. 319 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,143 Fancy outfit for a dentist. 320 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,644 Is Joel going to be there? 321 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,104 No, he's not. 322 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,689 I'm putting the exact amount in each bottle 323 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,732 so you don't have to think about it. 324 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,442 So, where is Joel staying? 325 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,903 He is staying with Archie and Imogene. 326 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,112 Oh, that's good. 327 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,572 Why is that good, Mama? 328 00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,032 Well, at least he's not living with that girl. 329 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:58,033 If the baby wakes up, 330 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,576 it's a drop in each ear, 331 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,453 and don't let her wriggle for a full minute after. 332 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,456 I just put her hands under her tush and sit on her lightly. 333 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:05,874 Miriam, wait. 334 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,251 -Miriam. -Mama, I'm late. 335 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,962 Hear me out because if he's not living with that girl, 336 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,714 maybe it's not so serious. 337 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,050 You said he was in love with her, but maybe he's not. 338 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,426 Maybe you should give him a call. 339 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,053 Abe, what do you think? 340 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,679 ABE: I told everybody what I thought should happen 341 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,056 and everybody completely ignored me. 342 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,766 That's not true. 343 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,184 Or maybe you should go have dinner with your friends, 344 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,936 Archie and Imogene, at their place tonight. 345 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,479 Don't let Ethan bring his Lincoln Logs near the playpen. 346 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,022 Esther eats them. 347 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,482 I mean, they're your friends as much as Joel's. 348 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,234 -Right, Abe? -ABE: Ibid! 349 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,111 -MIDGE: I've got to go. -What? Miriam! 350 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,821 I'll be back later this afternoon. 351 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,739 Don't forget to sit on the baby. 352 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,543 MAN: Pardon me. 353 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,295 (man speaking indistinctly over P.A.) 354 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,673 Is-is this Christopher Street? 355 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,466 Yes? No? 356 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,093 God, yeah. 357 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,137 (siren wailing in distance) 358 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,767 -Hey. -Give it to me. 359 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,145 MAN: The judge doesn't know what he's talking about. 360 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,896 How do I know? 361 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,358 I've only litigated in front of the man, like, a thousand times. 362 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,944 No, not literally, smart-ass. 363 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,238 Uh, it's a figure of speech. 364 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,784 Sorry, is this a lawyer's office? 365 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:23,994 Yes, it is. 366 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,454 Smells like mildew. 367 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,706 Well, that could be me. What's with the duds? 368 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,541 You got a shoot with Harper's Bazaar later? 369 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,835 I always dress nicely for important meetings. 370 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,670 When Joel and I met our co-op board for the first time, 371 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:34,963 I made the mistake of wearing pedal pushers 372 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,257 and they made us come back three times. 373 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,550 Is that a sandwich? 374 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,801 It used to be. 375 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,470 Here, come. Sit. 376 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,306 No, no, listen, Lizanne, Terminiello v. Chicago. 377 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,975 Douglas says the function of free speech 378 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,810 is to invite dispute! 379 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,605 Yeah, that's fucking poetry, goddamn it. 380 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,857 I say so, too. I'll call you later. 381 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,108 You're my 11:00? 382 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,568 -MIDGE: Yes, sir. -Susie, right? 383 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,070 Yeah, and this is Miriam Maisel, Michael Kessler. 384 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,697 You going somewhere after this? 385 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:01,865 Country club? White House? 386 00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:03,241 I dressed for the meeting. 387 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,618 You dressed for the meeting. (snorts) 388 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,119 (laughing): She dressed for the meeting. 389 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,829 I dress for important meetings. 390 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,122 Well, you've come to the wrong place. 391 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:11,124 You like that? 392 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,751 Kirk Douglas gave me that. 393 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,252 He used it when he played Van Gogh in that movie. 394 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,796 Really? W-Wow. I-I love Kirk Douglas. 395 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,673 I worked pro bono for his pal, Trumbo, 396 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,342 when he refused to name names to Congress. 397 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,426 You worked on that? 398 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,594 Oh, Michael here has defended them all. 399 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,845 Mainly constitutional things. 400 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,847 Yeah, Jim Crow, he's on it. 401 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,641 -Voting rights, he's on it. -What's happening with voting? 402 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,101 Besides states keeping Negroes from the polls, you mean? 403 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,437 Yeah, Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, he was on their team. 404 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,688 Took four zaps in the chair 405 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,106 to kill poor Ethel. 406 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,942 There was smoke coming out of her ears. 407 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,610 Ah, Jewish women are known to be more difficult. 408 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,362 This is really fascinating. 409 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,155 I'm-I'm gonna read up on all this stuff when I get home. 410 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,657 You mean right after your cotillion? 411 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,824 -My what? -(snorts) 412 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,535 (laughs) I'm just joking. 413 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,036 You are dressed very fancy. 414 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,663 All right, let's see what we got here. 415 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:53,083 "Performing without a cabaret license." Bullshit. 416 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,626 "Public indecency." 417 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,253 You said stuff to make a nun blush, 418 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,879 but you didn't say it in a convent, I'm assuming. 419 00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,214 I was not in a convent. 420 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,966 -So, where's the crime? -Right. 421 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:04,177 Wow. "Simulating a sex act while on stage." 422 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,512 "Sex act"? What? That's-that's ridiculous. 423 00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,430 Yeah, I would've remembered that. 424 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,557 Says something here about miming a whore 425 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,933 tickling a man's testicles. 426 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,226 -Oh, I did do that. -Oh, yeah, she did. 427 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,644 It was fucking funny. 428 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,312 And apparently, you exposed your breasts. 429 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,564 I do not remember that. 430 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,524 I do, and I got to tell you, Mike, 431 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,150 when she whipped those things out, I ducked. 432 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,735 I'm telling you, boy, they were glowing. 433 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,029 It was like a Mack truck was coming at me. It killed. 434 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,823 -We will fight it all. -MIDGE: Good. 435 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,949 I would like to be found innocent. 436 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,367 I would like that, too. 437 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,994 Cops that hang out around outside clubs 438 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,412 waiting to harass entertainers 439 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,455 for doing their thing, I hate that. 440 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,790 Passionately. 441 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,250 You start controlling speech, 442 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:36,876 you're slip-sliding toward fascism, 443 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,420 and we saw how that turned out. 444 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,462 MIDGE: Great. You're hired. 445 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,131 It's kind of up to him. 446 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:44,175 The meeting is more to get him to do it. 447 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,261 Oh. Will you do it? 448 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,971 For nothing? 449 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,931 If you had just dressed for the meeting. 450 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:50,974 -(telephone ringing) -Thank you. 451 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,684 Thank you, Mr. Kessler. 452 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,228 Kessler. 453 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,938 Yeah, Tom, I told you to call me yesterday. 454 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,732 No, this is not about the Rikers thing. 455 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,275 This is about the Jersey thing. Hang on, hang on. 456 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,610 The outfit... 457 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:02,819 You will not see it again. 458 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,029 No, no, no. Wear it to court. 459 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,031 It was an illegal search. 460 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,574 How? They had no warrant 461 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,284 and they busted his door in, that's how. 462 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,911 Thank you, Jerry. 463 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,847 Rose? 464 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,558 Shh. 465 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,602 (sighs) 466 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,940 (quietly): I want to work on these signs with you. 467 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,493 Rose? 468 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:56,373 Rose... can I get you anything? 469 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,461 No. 470 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,463 Rose... 471 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,256 I just... 472 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:10,345 I just have to let this pass. 473 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:11,971 All right. 474 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:15,100 I'll be in my study. 475 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,645 ROSE: Our daughter is in trouble, 476 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:22,732 and you're not doing anything about it. 477 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:31,741 So, it's my understanding, Mr. Kennedy, 478 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,243 that your client is pleading guilty 479 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,161 to drunk and disorderly conduct, 480 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,956 including obstruction of pedestrian traffic. 481 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,666 Guy in the yellow shirt. 482 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,126 -You ready? -Yeah. 483 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,420 One, two, three. 484 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,004 -Rapist. -Confidence trickster. 485 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,256 Confidence trickster? 486 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,507 Who are you, Charles Dickens? 487 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,134 He is not a rapist. 488 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,719 He looks pretty rapey to me. 489 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,387 I'm going with con man. 490 00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,888 Or arsonist. 491 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,725 You can't change your answer. 492 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,184 All right, orange tie, crappy suit. Ready? 493 00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,978 -Yeah. -One, two, three. 494 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,604 -Pickpocket. -Horse fucker. 495 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,356 I thought we were really playing. 496 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:05,692 No, I'm telling you, that guy has fucked a horse. 497 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,069 Got the judge to drop the cabaret license thing. 498 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,863 -Oh, great. -Yes, thank you. 499 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,949 He's in kind of a pissy mood, so let me do the heavy lifting. 500 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,909 Gladly. 501 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,327 -(gavel bangs) -Next case. 502 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,537 Docket number 4623. 503 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,872 Miriam Maisel, 504 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,415 charged with 1140A of the penal law. 505 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,000 Tits up. 506 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,377 Miriam Maisel, you are charged 507 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,212 with 1140A of the penal law. 508 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,423 While performing in a licensed venue, 509 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:32,802 you presented and participated in an obscene, indecent tableau. 510 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,348 Uh, who is presiding as the prosecutor? 511 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,184 Leon Cranmer, on behalf of the People, Judge. 512 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,311 Uh-huh, and for the defense? 513 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:42,645 Good morning, Your Honor, Michael Kessler. 514 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,230 -And may I address the court? -(sighs) 515 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,149 -Yes, Mr. Kessler. -Thank you, Your Honor. 516 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:49,694 Your Honor, Mrs. Maisel is as she appears before you: 517 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,822 an upstanding citizen with a spotless record. 518 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:55,325 She is married with two beautiful preschool children. 519 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,410 She's a graduate of Bryn Mawr 520 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,412 and is enormously respected in her community. 521 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,789 A list of people 522 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,791 willing to vouch for her fine character 523 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,542 would be as long as your arm. 524 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,086 A list that would include the venerable Rabbi Wasserman 525 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,421 of Temple Shearith Israel. 526 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,256 But most importantly, 527 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,050 and I cannot stress this strongly enough, 528 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,969 there is no way this activity would recur. 529 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,430 This was a blip, an anomaly. 530 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:19,390 It will never happen again. 531 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,683 But it already has. 532 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:21,810 KESSLER: I'm sorry? 533 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,186 Isn't this her second arrest? 534 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,729 Yes, but, Your Honor... 535 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,356 Regardless of that, Your Honor, there's no denying 536 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:29,025 that Mrs. Maisel is an honorable, respectable woman, 537 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,194 and we are asking that these charges be dismissed. 538 00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,445 JUDGE: Mm-hmm. 539 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,364 Is your husband in the courtroom? 540 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,824 Who, me? 541 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,784 I don't believe Mr. Kessler has a husband. 542 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,285 Is your husband in the courtroom, ma'am? 543 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,079 No. 544 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,705 Well, I'm surprised by that. 545 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,123 He's at work. 546 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,292 Well, this is a serious matter, little lady. 547 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,670 So I'm curious as to why he didn't take the morning off 548 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,380 to help you deal with this. 549 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:53,633 Well, maybe he thought I could handle it on my own. 550 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:56,594 Yes, Mr. Maisel is a busy man, and I see no reason 551 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,681 to use up any more of your valuable time, Your Honor. 552 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:03,351 The language chronicled in these incidents, ma'am, crude. 553 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,894 -Lewd. -Well, I... 554 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,938 And also hearsay, Your Honor, 555 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,816 reported by an obviously overzealous police officer. 556 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,734 Effectively, this was entrapment. 557 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:12,819 Mr. Kessler, we don't need to hear 558 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,070 how much you hate the police. 559 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,738 I don't hate the police, Your Honor, 560 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,074 but I would like to point out that no other witness 561 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:21,411 has stepped forward to make any sort of complaint. 562 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,954 Mrs. Maisel, we all slip sometimes. 563 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,122 Would you agree to that? 564 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,332 Yes, Your Honor. 565 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,918 But the court does acknowledge your standing in the community, 566 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,004 your lack of prior arrests. 567 00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,672 You're certainly packaged right. 568 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:34,591 Thank you? 569 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,593 In many ways, it's our culture that's slipping. 570 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,053 Shirley Temple is a thing of the past. 571 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,638 -Too bad. -Shirley Temple, Your Honor? 572 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,099 Surely, Your Honor, these are salient points. 573 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,143 Now, I'll consider dismissal after some assurance 574 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,145 that you'll no longer engage in actions 575 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,938 to the detriment of the moral health 576 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,356 of those around you. 577 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:53,151 -Moral health? Oh, come on. -Excuse me. 578 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,319 -Your Honor... -Look, ev-everyone in that audience 579 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,904 was so plastered, they didn't know 580 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,614 -what the hell was going on, anyway. -What was that? 581 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,824 It's a coffee house, it's just coffee, there's no booze. 582 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,826 -Sit down, young man. -Well, at least he said "young." 583 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,620 Your Honor, emotions are running a little high here... 584 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,955 And what exactly was wrong with the words I said? 585 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,540 What's the crime there? 586 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,293 The language you used was foul, indisputably. 587 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,545 But what's the difference between me saying those words 588 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,172 on a stage to an audience that's there to hear them, 589 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,090 and a bunch of guys saying shit loud enough 590 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,177 -for everybody to hear at P.J. Clarke's? -What did you say? 591 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,637 With everything that's going on out there, 592 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,972 Jim Crow laws, voter fraud, 593 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:25,683 you're taking the time to pick on a "little lady"? 594 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,101 That's bullshit. 595 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,561 -(crowd gasping) -Mrs. Maisel! 596 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,897 Ethel and Julius Rosenberg were framed! 597 00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:32,440 (door locks) 598 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,067 -Thanks, Judy. -You got it. 599 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:37,820 Contempt of court fine is $200. Cash. 600 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,072 Can't you talk him out of it? 601 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,239 This isn't Perry Mason. 602 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:41,658 I have to go to the bathroom. 603 00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:43,493 They'll let you use the bathroom. 604 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,328 Have you seen the bathroom? I'm not using that bathroom. 605 00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,497 Well, then you're gonna have to hold it until you pay the money. 606 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,165 -What a scam... -And go back into court 607 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,167 -and apologize to the judge. -No way. 608 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,086 -I'm not apologizing. -Then you're staying here. 609 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,213 I can't stay here, I have to pick up my son. 610 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,632 Then you got to pay $200 and apologize to the judge. 611 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:58,967 Not until he apologizes to me. 612 00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:01,386 Then you're staying here. 613 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,429 (phone ringing) 614 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,056 Hello. 615 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,724 -MIDGE: Joel. -Midge? 616 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,601 What's-what's wrong? Are the kids okay? 617 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,520 Yes. Listen... 618 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:14,148 I'm gonna ask you for something and I need you to say yes. 619 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,733 I need $200. 620 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,151 In cash. 621 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,404 -And I need it in the next hour. -What? 622 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,905 A man is gonna pick it up. 623 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,740 Please don't ask him who he is. 624 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,951 And please never ask me what the money's for. 625 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,494 -Just give it to him. -(jail cell door opens) 626 00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:28,329 Wait... where are you? 627 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,206 -Don't ask me that either. -"Don't ask"? 628 00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:32,625 Well, what the hell can I ask you, Midge? I mean... 629 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,585 Y-You call me up out of the blue asking for money, 630 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,295 I can't ask you this, I can't ask you that, 631 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,172 I don't know if you're hurt, or you're sick, 632 00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:41,050 or there's a fat guy in back of you with a gun to your head. 633 00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:42,385 It's crazy, I'm having a heart attack here. 634 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:43,511 What do you want me to do? 635 00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,263 Joel? 636 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,684 -One hour. -Thank you. 637 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,816 (elevator whirring) 638 00:21:56,858 --> 00:21:59,444 ♪ I suddenly need assistance ♪ 639 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:02,280 ♪ But will I find it here? ♪ 640 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,740 ♪ There's more to you, my lad ♪ 641 00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:06,075 ♪ Than meets the eye or the earth ♪ 642 00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:08,286 ♪ The story you tell with such aplomb ♪ 643 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,246 ♪ I somehow can't believe ♪ 644 00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:13,541 ♪ I'm curious as to just exactly what is up your sleeve... ♪ 645 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,835 (women laugh) 646 00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:18,254 -♪ What's in it for you? ♪ -♪ What's in it for you? ♪ 647 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,673 -♪ What's in it for you...? ♪ -♪ What's in it for you...? ♪ 648 00:22:20,715 --> 00:22:23,217 -♪ What is it you're after? ♪ -♪ What is it you're after? ♪ 649 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:25,470 -♪ I wish I knew ♪ -♪ I wish I knew. ♪ 650 00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,889 I'll be damned. Abe Weissman? 651 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,016 Gracing the floors of my humble business? 652 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:31,934 -How are you, Abe? -I'm good, Moishe! 653 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:34,353 When was the last time you were south of Central Park, Abe? 654 00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:35,772 Was Roosevelt still president? 655 00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:37,148 It's been a while, Moishe. 656 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,775 You too busy to talk? 657 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,485 For you? Never. Get down here. 658 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,528 Please, tell me 659 00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:45,615 you've come to let me fit you for a decent suit. 660 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,575 My God, Abe, I've been trying to get you out of tweeds 661 00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:48,743 since Hector was a pup. 662 00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,078 I'm not here for a suit, Moishe. 663 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,871 Or something for Rosie, then. 664 00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:53,498 Not that I've ever seen her wear the same thing twice. 665 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,124 She has plenty of clothes. 666 00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:56,542 Well, then, what? 667 00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,504 -Well... -It's about dinner. I know. 668 00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:01,714 It was a terrible night. I'm sorry it took that turn. 669 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,341 All that yelling, all that emotion. 670 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,551 -It was very emotional. -Well, you try to make someone 671 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,261 do the right thing, doesn't always work out. 672 00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:08,846 -Moishe... -Uh-oh. 673 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,681 Serious face. Easter Island face. 674 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,308 I know that face. 675 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,726 I was wondering, is there any way 676 00:23:13,768 --> 00:23:15,394 I can get you to change your mind 677 00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,438 -about taking back the apartment? -Nope. No way. 678 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,607 -I paid for it. I overpaid for it. -I know. 679 00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:21,484 It was mine to take back. My son knew this. 680 00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:22,944 -I'm sure he did. -So what's the point here, Abe? 681 00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:24,570 Why are you even bringing this up? 682 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,031 -I want to get the kids back together. -Join the club. 683 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:28,825 And the apartment is a big piece of that puzzle. 684 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,284 I've already put it on the market. 685 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:31,869 You can take it off the market. 686 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,412 People are gonna love the layout, 687 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:34,747 and it's so close to the park. 688 00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:36,499 I'll pay for half the apartment. 689 00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:38,751 What do you mean, you'll pay for half? 690 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,211 So, we're each in 50-50. 691 00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:41,754 Co-owners. 692 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:43,381 Then, we keep it available 693 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,967 if and when Joel and Miriam get back together. 694 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,094 Hmm. 50-50, huh? 695 00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:49,387 Yes. 696 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,806 Like we did the temple seats. 697 00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:53,266 Yes. 698 00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,852 Just like we did the temple seats. 699 00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:57,228 And you can swing that? Place ain't cheap. 700 00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:58,437 -I can swing it. -You can swing for that, 701 00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,022 but not for a better suit? 702 00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:01,357 -My suits are fine, Moishe. -Your suits are old. 703 00:24:01,399 --> 00:24:02,733 My suits are good. 704 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:07,029 (sighs) You know... 705 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:09,073 -Ah, I shouldn't say it. -No. 706 00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,366 No, go ahead, say it. 707 00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:11,701 I never thought you liked me so much. 708 00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,328 No. I like you very much, Moishe. 709 00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:16,581 I don't know. We invite you over, you never come. 710 00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:19,000 Well, school keeps me busy. 711 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,543 Shirley never sees enough of Rosie. 712 00:24:20,585 --> 00:24:22,170 -That we should fix... -And maybe it's me, 713 00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:24,630 but you always seemed to have a weird attitude 714 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,883 whenever I brought up the 13. 715 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,509 -You know what I'm talking about? -Uh... 716 00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:30,761 The 13 people I got out of Germany in '43... 717 00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:33,181 No, I know who they are... 718 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,350 At great cost, at great sacrifice, I did that, Abe. 719 00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:39,478 I have nothing but admiration for the great sacrifice you made 720 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,731 to get those poor people out of Germany, Moishe. 721 00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:44,609 -You do? -Yes, very much. 722 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:49,113 Good. Good. 723 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:52,700 I'll take the offer, 50-50, for the kids. 724 00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:54,118 Thank you, Moishe. 725 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,494 Look at this. 726 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,205 -Huh? -Look at this! Come here! 727 00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,623 -Oh. Okay. -(laughs) 728 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,249 -You and me on the same side! -Uh-huh. 729 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,418 -The Allies planning D-Day. -Yeah, yes. 730 00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:03,753 And who's gonna stop us, huh? 731 00:25:03,794 --> 00:25:04,962 -No one's gonna stop us, Moishe. -No. 732 00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:06,464 No one's gonna stop us. 733 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:08,758 -No. -Hey, wait a minute, wait, here we go. 734 00:25:08,799 --> 00:25:11,385 Take this for Rosie. 735 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,179 -No, really, Moishe... -When was the last time you came home 736 00:25:13,221 --> 00:25:14,972 -with a gift for your wife? -Fairly recently. 737 00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,475 -Take it. -All right, fine, fine, but here's some... 738 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,268 What are you, crazy? Your money's no good here. 739 00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:21,103 All right. Now, that's very nice of you, 740 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,396 but this is your business, and... 741 00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:24,273 Oh, no, I wouldn't hear of it. 742 00:25:24,315 --> 00:25:26,025 (laughing): Well. 743 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:27,902 Thank you for the coat, Moishe. 744 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:37,828 Now we just have to figure out 745 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:39,538 how to get Joel to the next step. 746 00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:41,624 -Oh, Joel will come back. -What do you mean? 747 00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:43,251 I mean, I know my son. 748 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:44,752 Follow-through's never been his strong suit. 749 00:25:44,794 --> 00:25:48,130 Tell Rosie not to worry, he'll be back. 750 00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:51,175 Partners! 751 00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:52,635 Ha, ha. 752 00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:54,178 Yeah, Tuesday's fine. 753 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,223 I got a 4:00 call, then I'm in the clear. 754 00:25:57,265 --> 00:25:59,642 Hey, who else is gonna... 755 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:02,937 Al, let me call you back. 756 00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:06,274 Mr. Maisel. 757 00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,442 Yes? 758 00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:24,542 She's okay? 759 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,003 She's okay. 760 00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:35,678 Welcome back, Mrs. Maisel. 761 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,097 I see that you've posted payment on your fine, 762 00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:41,642 and that you have something you'd like to say to the court. 763 00:26:41,684 --> 00:26:43,436 Yes, Your Honor. 764 00:26:43,477 --> 00:26:47,273 My behavior earlier today was irrational. 765 00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:48,941 JUDGE: Could you speak up, please? 766 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,778 My behavior earlier today 767 00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:57,325 was irrational, irresponsible 768 00:26:57,366 --> 00:27:00,244 and extremely disrespectful. 769 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:03,331 I let my emotions get the better of me. 770 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:06,000 After all, I am a woman. 771 00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:09,170 And therefore, I humbly apologize. 772 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,589 Good, good. 773 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,383 Now my original inclination was to dismiss these charges, 774 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:18,971 but in view of what happened here today, I offer this: 775 00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:22,475 plead guilty, and you'll be sentenced to time served. 776 00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,685 Otherwise, you can risk trial, 777 00:27:24,727 --> 00:27:27,355 where the maximum fine will be a thousand dollars 778 00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:29,398 and up to three months in jail. 779 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,859 -Three months? -Now, as you consider this, 780 00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:33,861 please think long and hard 781 00:27:33,903 --> 00:27:36,322 about how generous I'm feeling right now, 782 00:27:36,364 --> 00:27:40,993 and about how easy it would be to make me angry again. 783 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,955 I plead guilty, Your Honor. 784 00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:46,415 JUDGE: Good! 785 00:27:46,457 --> 00:27:48,209 The defendant pleads guilty on all counts, 786 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,711 and she is sentenced to time served. 787 00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:51,879 Thank you, Your Honor. 788 00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:53,381 Yes, thank you, Your Honor. 789 00:27:53,422 --> 00:27:55,800 You're welcome, Mrs. Maisel. And by the way, 790 00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:58,427 that is a lovely dress you are wearing. 791 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:02,640 Hang on to my card. 792 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,935 Uh, I think you're gonna need it. 793 00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:09,271 I'm burning this dress when I get home. 794 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:11,774 Oh, God, I'm gonna be so late for Ethan. 795 00:28:11,816 --> 00:28:14,860 Hey, get this: the horse fucker was a flasher, so I was close. 796 00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:17,530 -Susie. -Huh? 797 00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,865 -Tell me it's gonna work. -What? 798 00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:23,077 This comedy thing, I'm-I'm staking a lot on it. 799 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,205 It's gonna affect my whole family, it has to work. 800 00:28:26,247 --> 00:28:27,498 Of course it's gonna work. 801 00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:30,501 No, I mean, it really has to work. 802 00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:32,128 Miriam, it's okay. 803 00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:34,004 I have been gearing up for this my entire life. 804 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:36,132 I have got a plan. It is long term, 805 00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:39,093 and I swear to you, it is gonna work. 806 00:28:54,984 --> 00:28:56,694 JOEL: All right, just keep in mind 807 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,696 that Dow Chemical always slows down around the holidays. 808 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:01,407 So, someone should drop by their Jersey plant, like now, 809 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:03,534 to see them in person, check in on the pipeline. 810 00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:05,161 Please don't make me go to Jersey. 811 00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:06,328 Don, you're going to Jersey. 812 00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:07,621 Oh, I don't get a say? 813 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:08,831 Seniority counts for something, Donny. 814 00:29:08,873 --> 00:29:10,332 They like us there. 815 00:29:10,374 --> 00:29:11,917 Let them show you around, take you to lunch. 816 00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:13,127 Just don't get too drunk. 817 00:29:13,169 --> 00:29:14,378 Ha! Good luck with that. 818 00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,713 Help Don out on his travel? 819 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,381 Certainly. 820 00:29:17,423 --> 00:29:20,176 -Come back a conqueror. -You got it, boss. 821 00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:22,261 -Hey, you up for a drink? -Can't. 822 00:29:22,303 --> 00:29:23,971 The missus talked me into bowling with some couples 823 00:29:24,013 --> 00:29:25,556 from her literary improvements club. 824 00:29:25,598 --> 00:29:27,183 -Ouch. -Tag along. 825 00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:29,018 You and I can drink and they can all keep pretending 826 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:30,394 they liked The World of Suzie Wong. 827 00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:32,229 -I'll pass. -I figured. 828 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:34,231 Hey, if you don't eat before you get home, 829 00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:35,774 Imogene left you some meatloaf in the fridge. 830 00:29:35,816 --> 00:29:37,568 -Oh, I'll be fine. -Sitter will be there at 7:00, 831 00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:39,111 but she knows you got first dibs on the TV. 832 00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:41,238 Yeah, listen, Arch, you know, 833 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,698 I'm not gonna be on your couch forever. 834 00:29:42,740 --> 00:29:44,200 -I promise. -What are you talking about? 835 00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:45,493 This is great. 836 00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:47,036 You're like the pet we never had. 837 00:29:47,077 --> 00:29:49,538 Yeah, well, I'm working on a plan, just so you know. 838 00:29:49,580 --> 00:29:51,207 Sure, sure. Get your own place. 839 00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:52,416 You get your name up in lights. 840 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:53,626 What? 841 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:55,127 Joel Maisel, king of comedy. 842 00:29:55,169 --> 00:29:58,339 Oh, yeah, right. Well, we'll see about that. 843 00:29:58,380 --> 00:30:00,716 Let's get Mason's sign-off over at Dow 844 00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:02,092 and then we can talk about king of comedy. 845 00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:03,385 Okay. Oh, hey. 846 00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:05,721 Uh, for the sitter. 847 00:30:05,763 --> 00:30:07,223 All right. Bowling alley's in Jersey. 848 00:30:07,264 --> 00:30:09,225 -There's no escaping Jersey. -(chuckles) 849 00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:10,518 Mr. Maisel. 850 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,561 Yes, Mrs. Moskowitz? 851 00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:15,231 It's Penny on the line, again. 852 00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:18,025 Tell her I left already. 853 00:30:18,067 --> 00:30:19,401 Yes, sir. 854 00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:23,072 (upbeat jazz music playing) 855 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:31,622 (audience laughing) 856 00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:35,834 LENNY: Let me explain it to you. 857 00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:37,878 Let me explain Jewish and goyish to you. 858 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,129 I'll show you how it works. 859 00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:41,840 Uh, Gene Ammons is Jewish. 860 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:43,384 Ray Charles is very Jewish. 861 00:30:43,425 --> 00:30:44,426 (audience laughs) 862 00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:45,761 Al Jolson is goyish. 863 00:30:45,803 --> 00:30:46,845 (audience laughs) 864 00:30:46,887 --> 00:30:48,347 The Army is goyish. 865 00:30:48,389 --> 00:30:49,598 The Navy is goyish. 866 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,225 The Marine Corps is goyish. 867 00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:52,851 The Air Force is Jewish. 868 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,186 (audience laughs) 869 00:30:54,228 --> 00:30:56,063 Kool-Aid, goyish. 870 00:30:56,105 --> 00:30:58,816 Instant potatoes, scary goyish. 871 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,777 -(laughs) -There was a thing in Life magazine, 872 00:31:01,819 --> 00:31:03,445 there was a picture of this cat. 873 00:31:03,487 --> 00:31:05,781 See, he's up in the mountains, a r-rope around him, 874 00:31:05,823 --> 00:31:07,950 in this ad for Camel cigarettes. 875 00:31:07,992 --> 00:31:09,577 And it's-it's, uh... 876 00:31:09,618 --> 00:31:12,788 This is-- dig, his name is so goyish, it's beautiful. 877 00:31:12,830 --> 00:31:14,164 (audience laughs) 878 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:16,333 Bob B-Y-H-R-E. 879 00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:20,838 Try to say it. Bob B-Y-H-R-E. 880 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,089 Bob Buh? 881 00:31:22,131 --> 00:31:24,592 -(laughs) -It's so goyish, you can't even say it. 882 00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:27,928 -(audience laughs) -Bob Burrre. 883 00:31:27,970 --> 00:31:30,848 Now, dig, Bob, it said, "Bob Bhyre, 884 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:33,934 who goes up to the mountains to save people for nothing." 885 00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:36,395 He risks his life to save people for nothing. 886 00:31:36,437 --> 00:31:37,688 What Jew would do that? 887 00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:38,856 (laughing) 888 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,317 Bob Byhre does it. 889 00:31:43,736 --> 00:31:45,779 Now, dig it, uh, these cats behind me, 890 00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:47,114 they're just cool. 891 00:31:47,156 --> 00:31:48,490 Uh, they just got back from Chicago, 892 00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:50,075 opening for Mingus. 893 00:31:50,117 --> 00:31:51,910 In fact, I heard he was thinking about packing it in 894 00:31:51,952 --> 00:31:53,704 after hearing them. Isn't that right, guys? 895 00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:55,331 So, give them a round of applause 896 00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:56,749 and don't fake it like you did for me 897 00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:58,208 or like your wives do for you. 898 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,877 (audience laughs) 899 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:02,046 Lindsey Trent and the Hot Three. 900 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:05,215 (band plays) 901 00:32:09,345 --> 00:32:10,804 You actually made it. 902 00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,181 I actually did. 903 00:32:12,222 --> 00:32:13,974 It's my first jazz club. 904 00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:15,768 -Oh, mine, too. -(chuckles) 905 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,946 Pounder comes up, saying I was all drunk and belligerent. 906 00:32:27,988 --> 00:32:29,281 -(Midge laughs) -Well, were you? 907 00:32:29,323 --> 00:32:30,616 I wasn't drunk. I was stoned. 908 00:32:30,658 --> 00:32:32,117 (all laugh) 909 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:33,410 And we had finished playing for the night. 910 00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:34,745 LINDSEY: What's that have to do with it? 911 00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:35,954 I wasn't belligerent during the set. 912 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,373 Nah, you were just missing notes during the set. 913 00:32:37,414 --> 00:32:38,874 LENNY: Yeah, but it's jazz. 914 00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:41,001 Who can tell when you're missing the notes? 915 00:32:41,043 --> 00:32:43,045 You know, in St. Louis, they pulled me in for spitting. 916 00:32:43,087 --> 00:32:44,421 -What? -Spitting, yeah. 917 00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:45,881 Spitting while black is more like it. 918 00:32:45,923 --> 00:32:47,508 Hell, yeah. 919 00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:49,760 -I've been hooked seven times. -Seven? What? 920 00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:53,347 For talking in front of people who paid to see me talk. 921 00:32:53,389 --> 00:32:54,765 -Hmm. -Seven arrests. 922 00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:55,849 Shit, you got me beat. 923 00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:56,934 Yeah, I only got the one. 924 00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:58,268 Two for me. 925 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,107 We're talking about getting arrested. 926 00:33:03,148 --> 00:33:04,441 Yeah. 927 00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:06,485 For jaywalking or something? 928 00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:08,445 Profanity. Indecent exposure. 929 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:09,863 LINDSEY: Shit. 930 00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:12,032 Well, much respect, Duchess. 931 00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:13,659 Is this a marijuana joint? 932 00:33:13,701 --> 00:33:15,661 -Oh, that smell. -Get ready, man, get ready. 933 00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:17,955 My college roommate's sock drawer smelled like this. 934 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:20,624 I thought it was some Eastern European potpourri. 935 00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:22,000 I hold it in, right? 936 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,461 -If you can. -MAN: No, no, man. 937 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:25,671 This can't be the little man. 938 00:33:25,713 --> 00:33:27,297 Yeah, six months and counting. 939 00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:29,383 What, what? He looks like he can already hold drumsticks. 940 00:33:29,425 --> 00:33:30,843 -He can hold drumsticks. -(laughs) 941 00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:32,553 He can hold a radial tire. 942 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:34,096 He's strong, this kid. 943 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:35,264 No cough. 944 00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:36,390 Was I supposed to cough? 945 00:33:36,432 --> 00:33:37,516 Not if you can help it. 946 00:33:37,558 --> 00:33:38,726 Excellent. 947 00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:39,893 How do you feel? 948 00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:41,270 How do I feel? How do I feel? 949 00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:43,105 I'm trying to figure out how I feel. 950 00:33:43,147 --> 00:33:44,648 I feel fine. I feel good. 951 00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:46,608 So, what do we do? Do we do an activity? 952 00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:49,027 -Take another hit. -(laughter) 953 00:33:49,069 --> 00:33:51,113 (coughing): Oh, so cute. 954 00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:52,239 Shoot, I coughed. 955 00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:53,449 -I noticed. -(coughs) 956 00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:54,700 Is this your baby? 957 00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:57,077 -He thinks it is. -Shut up, man. 958 00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,871 -(laughter) -Oh, so cute. 959 00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:00,330 LINDSEY: You got any of your own? 960 00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:02,541 -A boy and a girl. -Yeah, let's see a picture. 961 00:34:02,583 --> 00:34:05,002 -Oh. -LINDSEY: This one, man, 962 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,754 it's all my wife's doing. 963 00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:08,338 I come home every night. 964 00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,257 It's still breathing. It's a little bit bigger. 965 00:34:10,299 --> 00:34:12,634 You know, she does it all and I just roll thunder. 966 00:34:12,676 --> 00:34:13,927 She is amazing. 967 00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:15,012 -(door opens) -MAN 2: Hey, guys. 968 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,764 -You're back up. -Damn. 969 00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:19,016 -Lenny, go introduce us. -Oh, come on. 970 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:21,560 You can't ask me after I've taken five hits off a joint. 971 00:34:21,602 --> 00:34:23,103 I can't remember my name. 972 00:34:23,145 --> 00:34:25,022 I'll introduce you. 973 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:26,732 An activity. Yes. 974 00:34:26,774 --> 00:34:29,359 Here, hold this. 975 00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,028 Where the hell does she think she's going? 976 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,279 I have no idea. 977 00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:34,490 Anyone got Sen-Sen? 978 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,995 -Hi, everybody. -MAN: Hi. -(microphone feedback) 979 00:34:40,037 --> 00:34:41,580 Are you ready for some more music? 980 00:34:41,622 --> 00:34:43,081 (audience cheers and whoops) 981 00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:45,167 MIDGE: Nice. 982 00:34:45,209 --> 00:34:48,420 So, first time at a jazz club, raise your hand. 983 00:34:48,462 --> 00:34:49,755 Just me? 984 00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:51,507 Wow. Only virgin. 985 00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:53,133 (audience chuckles) 986 00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:55,010 Losing my virginity to a bunch of jazz musicians, 987 00:34:55,052 --> 00:34:57,095 every Jewish mother's worst nightmare. 988 00:34:57,137 --> 00:34:59,765 -(audience laughs) -Anyway, I was outside talking to the guys, 989 00:34:59,807 --> 00:35:02,184 and Lindsey here whips out his... 990 00:35:02,226 --> 00:35:03,894 -(audience chuckles) -...wallet. 991 00:35:03,936 --> 00:35:06,188 What did you think I was gonna say? His penis? 992 00:35:06,230 --> 00:35:08,065 No. That was already out. 993 00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:12,444 So, he pulled out a picture of his really cute baby, 994 00:35:12,486 --> 00:35:14,530 very adorable, and then somebody asked me if I had kids, 995 00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:16,323 and I said yes, and they asked to see a picture, 996 00:35:16,365 --> 00:35:19,535 and I realized... I don't have one. 997 00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:22,246 I've got two kids. No picture. 998 00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:24,331 I've got everything else in the world in my purse. 999 00:35:24,373 --> 00:35:27,251 I've got a... look, a-a Diners Club card, 1000 00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,127 a compact; 1001 00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:31,713 one, two, three lipsticks-- three. 1002 00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:33,173 Two lips, three lipsticks. 1003 00:35:33,215 --> 00:35:35,801 -(audience laughs) -Nail polish, 1004 00:35:35,843 --> 00:35:38,512 cigarettes, a corn pad, and a Kotex sanitary belt. 1005 00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:40,973 It comes in white now, ladies, so rush right out. 1006 00:35:41,014 --> 00:35:43,100 -(audience laughs) -I mean, 1007 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:45,394 if my kids got kidnapped and I had to describe them, 1008 00:35:45,435 --> 00:35:47,229 I'd have to say, "They look like kids. 1009 00:35:47,271 --> 00:35:49,731 "I-I don't know. The whosit's got a head. 1010 00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:52,359 The other one's got a... head." 1011 00:35:54,570 --> 00:35:57,364 -Anyone know this fucker? -(woman gasps) 1012 00:35:57,406 --> 00:35:59,199 -Dr. Spock. -(audience applauds) 1013 00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:00,993 I had never read this, 1014 00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:02,870 not until my son started doing this really weird thing 1015 00:36:02,911 --> 00:36:06,123 where I wake up and he's staring at me like he's planning things. 1016 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:08,750 And-and I'm thinking, "Well, right now he's small. 1017 00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:10,669 I can take him, but in a few years..." 1018 00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:12,296 (audience laughs) 1019 00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:13,964 So, I turned to the expert. 1020 00:36:14,006 --> 00:36:17,175 And one of the things he says is, "Trust yourself. 1021 00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:19,136 You know more than you think you do." 1022 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,138 Are you fucking kidding me? 1023 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:23,432 -(laughs) -That's his sage advice? 1024 00:36:23,473 --> 00:36:24,892 "You got this"? 1025 00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:26,727 Trust me, I don't got this. 1026 00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:29,104 And now, now I'm thinking, "A," I could have used the money 1027 00:36:29,146 --> 00:36:31,148 I spent on this stupid book on a fourth lipstick, 1028 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:35,611 and "B," what if I wasn't supposed to be a mother? 1029 00:36:35,652 --> 00:36:38,196 What if I picked the wrong profession? 1030 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:40,365 If you're afraid of blood, you don't become a surgeon. 1031 00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:42,659 If you don't like to fly, you don't join Pan Am. 1032 00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:46,580 I-I can't change my mind and donate my kids to the library, 1033 00:36:46,622 --> 00:36:48,040 like I'm gonna do with this book. 1034 00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:49,750 -(book thuds) -(audience laughs) 1035 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,335 Oh, my God, I'm awful. 1036 00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:53,629 I mean, women are supposed to be mothers. 1037 00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,881 It's supposed to be natural. 1038 00:36:55,923 --> 00:36:58,175 It comes with the tits, right? 1039 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:00,427 The equipment is pre-installed. 1040 00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:02,804 I mean, are there exceptions? 1041 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:06,308 What if some of us are just supposed to travel a lot? 1042 00:37:06,350 --> 00:37:10,354 Or run 24-hour diners out in rural areas wearing coveralls? 1043 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:11,688 What if some of us are supposed 1044 00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:14,650 to just talk to adults our entire life? 1045 00:37:14,691 --> 00:37:16,234 Oh, I never thought about any of this before tonight. 1046 00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:17,611 Ethan's gonna know. 1047 00:37:17,653 --> 00:37:19,071 He's gonna look at my face when I get home 1048 00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:20,364 and figure out he has to accelerate the plan. 1049 00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:21,573 -Fuck. -(audience laughs) 1050 00:37:21,615 --> 00:37:23,825 I thought this was supposed to be a fun evening, 1051 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,994 filled with music and smoking pot 1052 00:37:26,036 --> 00:37:27,829 with a bunch of strange men in an alley, 1053 00:37:27,871 --> 00:37:30,749 and instead I'm filled with dread and doubts 1054 00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:32,626 and I am starving. 1055 00:37:32,668 --> 00:37:34,336 Why am I starving? Do they serve food here? 1056 00:37:34,378 --> 00:37:36,463 Is Lenny Bruce boring at home? Like, at home is he all, 1057 00:37:36,505 --> 00:37:37,881 (deadpan): "Have you seen my red socks?" 1058 00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:39,466 And then he comes on stage and he's all, 1059 00:37:39,508 --> 00:37:40,801 (imitating George Macready): "I'm gonna put a little 1060 00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:43,053 airplane glue on a rag and fuck, shit, cock, prick." 1061 00:37:43,095 --> 00:37:45,055 And are those pretzels? 1062 00:37:45,097 --> 00:37:46,598 (audience applauds and chuckles) 1063 00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:53,647 Mmm. Delicious. 1064 00:37:53,689 --> 00:37:54,982 What? 1065 00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:56,233 You got to introduce the band. 1066 00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:57,484 Oh, shit. 1067 00:37:59,486 --> 00:38:01,863 Lindsey Trent and the Hot Three. 1068 00:38:16,003 --> 00:38:18,005 ♪ ♪ 1069 00:38:27,681 --> 00:38:29,141 Excuse me, ma'am. 1070 00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:30,267 Yes? 1071 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,269 Guests have to sign in. 1072 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:35,522 Then I will do that. 1073 00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:36,732 And your name is? 1074 00:38:36,773 --> 00:38:38,525 Chuckle Frankenburg. 1075 00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:40,068 Are you sure you're in the right place? 1076 00:38:40,110 --> 00:38:42,029 -The Friars Club? -I don't know. Am I? 1077 00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:43,071 -I don't know. -Third base. 1078 00:38:43,113 --> 00:38:44,406 This was fun. 1079 00:38:44,448 --> 00:38:46,867 Ma'am, please don't walk away from me. 1080 00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:48,952 -Ma'am. (clears throat) -May I help you? 1081 00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:50,954 Ah, yes. I am here to have dinner. 1082 00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:52,080 I don't think so. 1083 00:38:52,122 --> 00:38:54,082 -Sorry, Kenneth. -Oh, Kenneth. 1084 00:38:54,124 --> 00:38:56,376 He was talking some serious shit about you earlier. 1085 00:38:56,418 --> 00:38:59,004 (clucks tongue) Naughty boy. Carry on. 1086 00:38:59,046 --> 00:39:00,964 KENNETH: Ma'am? 1087 00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:03,008 Ma'am, ma'am. 1088 00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:05,677 This club is for members only. 1089 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,263 It's a hangout for comics, not the U.N. 1090 00:39:08,305 --> 00:39:09,806 Just loosen up, guys. 1091 00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:12,267 -You can't stay here. -Then kick me out. 1092 00:39:12,309 --> 00:39:14,019 No takers? 1093 00:39:14,061 --> 00:39:15,896 Why don't you get Milton Berle to swing his dick around, 1094 00:39:15,937 --> 00:39:17,189 knock me out into the street. 1095 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:19,149 -That'll do the trick. -Hold on, guys. 1096 00:39:19,191 --> 00:39:20,192 CONCIERGE: I'm sorry, Mr. Drake. 1097 00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:21,234 We'll take care of this. 1098 00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:22,402 No, I'll take care of this. 1099 00:39:22,444 --> 00:39:23,779 -Hello, Susie. -Harry. 1100 00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:25,447 You're a giant pain in the ass. 1101 00:39:25,489 --> 00:39:26,865 Your ear hair is turning gray. 1102 00:39:26,907 --> 00:39:28,492 I'll take it from here, guys. 1103 00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:30,327 If she touched you, wash. 1104 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:33,080 Ha-ha. We still on for lawn bowling Sunday, yeah? 1105 00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:35,582 Come on. 1106 00:39:35,624 --> 00:39:37,417 HARRY: Two Scotches, please. 1107 00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:43,381 Wow, George Jessel looks like he fell in a vat of fries. 1108 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,217 Did I miss your call? 1109 00:39:45,258 --> 00:39:47,928 -I didn't call. -Couldn't scrape up a nickel? 1110 00:39:47,969 --> 00:39:49,888 Didn't want to deal with your idiot secretary. 1111 00:39:49,930 --> 00:39:52,057 I hate her. I hate all secretaries. 1112 00:39:52,099 --> 00:39:53,892 They're worthless. What's the name of yours? 1113 00:39:53,934 --> 00:39:55,602 -Sandra. -Mm. 1114 00:39:55,644 --> 00:39:57,437 Yeah, she's half moron, half boobs. 1115 00:39:57,479 --> 00:40:00,023 And 100% my wife. 1116 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:01,858 Really? Since when? 1117 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,736 A few months ago. I'm sorry you weren't invited to the wedding. 1118 00:40:04,778 --> 00:40:06,154 Mm, I'll go to the next one. 1119 00:40:06,196 --> 00:40:07,823 So I sent this kid down to the Gaslight, 1120 00:40:07,864 --> 00:40:09,157 he's working up a set. 1121 00:40:09,199 --> 00:40:12,285 Fellow named Langford. You catch him? 1122 00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:14,579 I caught the whiff. I can still smell it. 1123 00:40:14,621 --> 00:40:16,373 No good, huh? 1124 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:19,334 Well, he helped tune the piano, so it wasn't a complete loss. 1125 00:40:19,376 --> 00:40:22,879 Susie, um, don't take this the wrong way, 1126 00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:26,091 but, uh, what the hell are you doing here? 1127 00:40:26,133 --> 00:40:31,054 Well, I'm thinking about getting into management, like you. 1128 00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:33,056 -Well, there's no one like me. -I know. 1129 00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:34,599 I mean, you discovered a lot of people. 1130 00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,017 Good people, funny people. 1131 00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:38,186 I mean, you put Jerry and Dean together, for Christ's sake. 1132 00:40:38,228 --> 00:40:40,272 You're the only one I can stand in this stupid business. 1133 00:40:40,313 --> 00:40:41,898 I love you, too. 1134 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:45,193 I found somebody, and she is impulsive 1135 00:40:45,235 --> 00:40:48,613 and intuitive and hysterical, and I think she's gonna be big. 1136 00:40:48,655 --> 00:40:49,656 She sing? 1137 00:40:49,698 --> 00:40:51,408 No, Harry, she's a comic. 1138 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:52,659 Okay, okay. 1139 00:40:52,701 --> 00:40:54,119 Female comics are a tough sell. 1140 00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:55,120 What's her name? 1141 00:40:55,162 --> 00:40:56,121 I'm not gonna tell you. 1142 00:40:56,163 --> 00:40:57,497 Then you're gonna go after her, 1143 00:40:57,539 --> 00:40:59,249 and I'll be stuck with your brother's nephew's 1144 00:40:59,291 --> 00:41:00,959 son's camp counselor you sent to me last year. 1145 00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:04,129 All right, all right. She'll remain nameless. 1146 00:41:04,171 --> 00:41:06,923 She's special. I mean, raw, unpredictable. 1147 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,718 And we are going forward in a big, aggressive way. 1148 00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,845 -Well, that sounds great. -It is. 1149 00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:14,181 -I just, I got one question. -Shoot. 1150 00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:17,184 What the hell do I do? 1151 00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:18,268 (chuckles) 1152 00:41:18,310 --> 00:41:21,229 One question, huh? 1153 00:41:21,271 --> 00:41:24,232 Okay, lesson one, 1154 00:41:24,274 --> 00:41:25,775 learn how to deal with secretaries. 1155 00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:29,821 Call and set up a lunch. 1156 00:41:29,863 --> 00:41:32,199 It's a much longer conversation. 1157 00:41:36,036 --> 00:41:39,664 -No, the guy's name is Tanner, -MAN: Taxi! 1158 00:41:39,706 --> 00:41:41,374 -and it's on Lenox. -Right, the guy's Lanner, 1159 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:43,543 -and it's on Tennox, I got it. -You got shit. 1160 00:41:43,585 --> 00:41:45,253 -You're going with me. -Fine, I'll go with you. 1161 00:41:45,295 --> 00:41:46,963 Just be gentle. 1162 00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:50,508 Hey, we're going up to an after-hours in Harlem. 1163 00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:51,760 Do you want to tag along? 1164 00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:53,053 Oh, I-I think I'm gonna head home. 1165 00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:54,638 Okay. 1166 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:56,848 I did pretty good for my first night of freedom. 1167 00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:59,267 -Freedom? -Yeah. 1168 00:41:59,309 --> 00:42:01,519 My husband left me. 1169 00:42:01,561 --> 00:42:04,689 -Oh, shit. -Yeah. 1170 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,399 It's, uh... 1171 00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:11,404 Uh-oh, you need me to be understanding or something? 1172 00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:13,406 I can pretend to do that. 1173 00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:15,492 It is what it is. 1174 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:19,162 Here, take this one. We'll grab another. 1175 00:42:19,204 --> 00:42:20,830 Thanks. 1176 00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:24,584 -LINDSEY: Night, Midge. -MAN: Night, Midge. 1177 00:42:29,839 --> 00:42:31,800 For later. 1178 00:42:36,096 --> 00:42:38,682 -Riverside and 113th. -DRIVER: Sure. 1179 00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:40,225 See ya, Midge. 1180 00:42:40,267 --> 00:42:42,143 Bye, Lenny. 1181 00:42:44,354 --> 00:42:47,649 Wait, was I supposed to make a pass at you? 1182 00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:57,325 Dad, you know I look up to you, and I respect you. 1183 00:42:57,367 --> 00:42:59,786 And I know that you've always thought 1184 00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:02,330 that I'd follow you into the business here. 1185 00:43:02,372 --> 00:43:06,584 But I'm not you. I'm me. 1186 00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:10,005 Now, you and Mom sacrificed a lot, 1187 00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:12,173 and you've given me every opportunity, 1188 00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:15,051 but, Dad, I want to make it somewhere on my own. 1189 00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:16,636 Like you did. 1190 00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:18,680 Y-You came to New York without a nickel in your pocket, 1191 00:43:18,722 --> 00:43:21,683 and you built something, you forged your own path. 1192 00:43:21,725 --> 00:43:24,894 So let me forge mine. 1193 00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:27,772 Well, that's a very sound argument, son. 1194 00:43:27,814 --> 00:43:29,524 You're a brilliant man-- I have faith 1195 00:43:29,566 --> 00:43:31,151 that you know what you're doing, 1196 00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:33,987 and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. 1197 00:43:34,029 --> 00:43:35,780 Now, take off your clothes. 1198 00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:37,866 Okay, see, I don't think my father's gonna say that. 1199 00:43:37,907 --> 00:43:39,117 He might. 1200 00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:40,243 You're not taking this seriously. 1201 00:43:40,285 --> 00:43:41,536 -I am. -You're not. 1202 00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:43,246 Okay, I'm gonna think of serious things 1203 00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:45,332 to get myself in a serious frame of mind. 1204 00:43:45,373 --> 00:43:48,501 Uh... the atom bomb. Septic shock. 1205 00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:50,170 -Midge... -Indochina, whatever that is. 1206 00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:53,381 Midge... 1207 00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:55,800 do you really think this is a good idea? 1208 00:43:55,842 --> 00:43:58,887 It's a very sound argument. 1209 00:43:58,928 --> 00:44:00,764 I think you're a brilliant man, 1210 00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:02,390 and I have faith that you know what you're doing, 1211 00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:05,435 and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. 1212 00:44:05,477 --> 00:44:06,603 Now, take off your clothes. 1213 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:09,356 ♪ A life of regret ♪ 1214 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:12,609 ♪ And maybe I'll give ♪ 1215 00:44:12,650 --> 00:44:15,528 ♪ Much more than I'll get ♪ 1216 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:20,909 ♪ But nevertheless, I'm in love ♪ 1217 00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:24,120 ♪ With you. ♪ 1218 00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:35,090 -Joel? -Hey. 1219 00:44:35,131 --> 00:44:37,967 -You need... -No, no, I got it. 1220 00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,552 DRIVER: Thanks. 1221 00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:48,311 You been downtown? 1222 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:51,272 Uh, no. Laundry day. 1223 00:44:51,314 --> 00:44:53,233 What are you doing here? 1224 00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:55,944 Midge... 1225 00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:58,738 I've been thinking a lot about our situation-- 1226 00:44:58,780 --> 00:45:00,448 where we are. 1227 00:45:00,490 --> 00:45:02,450 I'm on a couch. 1228 00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:05,203 And you, I mean, I don't know what happened today. 1229 00:45:05,245 --> 00:45:06,746 I don't know what you needed the money for, 1230 00:45:06,788 --> 00:45:08,164 and I don't care. 1231 00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:10,125 I promised I wouldn't ask. 1232 00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:12,460 But clearly, things aren't going great 1233 00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,629 for either one of us. 1234 00:45:14,671 --> 00:45:17,632 Maybe this was a mistake. 1235 00:45:17,674 --> 00:45:20,677 So... 1236 00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:23,263 I'm thinking of giving it another go. 1237 00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:28,643 (door creaks) 1238 00:45:36,484 --> 00:45:38,611 Papa? 1239 00:45:39,988 --> 00:45:41,406 What are you doing down here? 1240 00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:45,368 Well, I brought Ethan down a few hours ago. 1241 00:45:45,410 --> 00:45:47,245 He likes his bed, 1242 00:45:47,287 --> 00:45:50,331 and he was staring at Rose in a very weird way. 1243 00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:52,750 Sure, yeah. 1244 00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:55,211 Are you okay? 1245 00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:57,797 Joel was downstairs. 1246 00:45:57,839 --> 00:45:59,299 Here? 1247 00:46:01,301 --> 00:46:03,178 What did he want? 1248 00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:05,763 He wanted to give it another go. 1249 00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:06,973 Really? 1250 00:46:08,558 --> 00:46:11,769 Well... 1251 00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:14,731 what did you say? 1252 00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,941 No. 1253 00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:22,322 No? 1254 00:46:24,115 --> 00:46:25,700 Why? 1255 00:46:25,742 --> 00:46:28,745 Because you left. 1256 00:46:47,889 --> 00:46:51,809 ♪ In the wee small hours ♪ 1257 00:46:51,851 --> 00:46:55,980 ♪ Of the morning ♪ 1258 00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:59,734 ♪ While the whole wide world ♪ 1259 00:46:59,776 --> 00:47:02,487 ♪ Is fast asleep ♪ 1260 00:47:04,197 --> 00:47:08,535 ♪ You lie awake ♪ 1261 00:47:08,576 --> 00:47:12,413 ♪ And think about the girl ♪ 1262 00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:15,208 ♪ And never, ever think ♪ 1263 00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:20,421 ♪ Of counting sheep ♪ 1264 00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:25,843 ♪ When your lonely heart ♪ 1265 00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:28,805 ♪ Has learned its lesson ♪ 1266 00:47:30,098 --> 00:47:33,935 ♪ You'd be hers ♪ 1267 00:47:33,977 --> 00:47:40,358 ♪ If only she would call ♪ 1268 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,903 ♪ In the wee small hours ♪ 1269 00:47:43,945 --> 00:47:46,948 ♪ Of the morning ♪ 1270 00:47:46,990 --> 00:47:48,866 ♪ That's the time ♪ 1271 00:47:48,908 --> 00:47:54,289 ♪ You miss her most ♪ 1272 00:47:54,330 --> 00:47:59,544 ♪ Of all ♪ 1273 00:47:59,586 --> 00:48:02,589 ♪ ♪ 1274 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:24,527 ♪ Girl, you got this need to know what I'm all about ♪ 1275 00:48:24,569 --> 00:48:31,242 ♪ Well, there's something that you dig you can't figure out ♪ 1276 00:48:31,284 --> 00:48:35,079 ♪ Well, now you wanna know what moves my soul ♪ 1277 00:48:35,121 --> 00:48:38,625 ♪ And what ticks inside of my brain ♪ 1278 00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:42,462 ♪ Well, I got this need I just can't control ♪ 1279 00:48:42,503 --> 00:48:45,965 ♪ And it's A-drivin' me insane ♪ 1280 00:48:46,007 --> 00:48:47,634 ♪ I can't take it ♪ 1281 00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:49,218 ♪ Ow ♪ 1282 00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:53,431 ♪ Because I'm hungry for those good things, baby ♪ 1283 00:48:53,473 --> 00:48:56,851 ♪ With a real fine girl like you. ♪