You blinked.
I did? I thought that was good.
Oh, my God, it's like the first day of the school.
All right, let's just take one more.
- Excuse me. - Hey, I'm trying to take a picture.
Oh, sure. Yeah, you guys, she was trying to take a picture.
Photo shoot!
No, I'm just taking a "first day of work" photo.
- Of course you are. - I can't fit everyone.
We'll smush! We'll smush!
Okay.
Maybe if some people could get down in front or kneel,
we could... You know what? Here, let's go over to the table.
Come over here, we'll do top levels.
- Oh, my gosh! - Where did Sheila go?
- Taking a picture without your queen? - Well...
- Don't step on me. - Champion here!
Hey! Now I can see everyone!
Sheila, get down. It's just a picture.
No, it's not. It's history.
Keep your eyes open.
One!
Two!
Three!
Glow!
Oh, fuck! It's out of film.
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --
Well, how much longer is this gonna take?
I just need to drop him at daycare and...
God damn it. Um... So, okay.
It's my costume for work.
Imagine I'm Clark Kent,
and I brought in my cape to be dry cleaned
and then you lost it.
And now, whenever I turn into Superman,
I'm flying around without my fucking cape.
Anyone else on your account?
Yup. Uh... Mark... Eagan.
I'd like to establish separate accounts, please.
So this never ever happens again.
And I'm not paying for his suits.
You're keeping his name?
Probably.
Yes, Ruth. It's me.
Why are you parked all the way over here?
Well, I'm giving myself a minute
before I have to spend the next 20 weeks
surrounded by people asking me what to do.
You look very clean and pretty.
I like your fancy folder.
It's a portfolio.
What's happening today?
Are we doing notes on the pilot?
I have a bunch of thoughts, if you want them.
Personally, I think we need main titles.
And punch your graphics, maybe.
Okay, okay, okay. Just...
Just take it easy.
Okay? Let's just take it easy.
- I'm excited! - Yeah.
Aren't you excited?
Don't pep talk me. All right, Ruth?
The last time when I knew what I was gonna do
for 20 consecutive weeks, I was in college.
And I hated college.
And then I woke up this morning, and I ironed this shirt.
What is that? I feel like someone else.
It's a big job.
But we're in it together.
You'll be Hitch.
I'll be Alma.
Invisible, but indispensable.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Alfred Hitchcock and his wife.
Alma, you know the woman behind the man
who is as important as the man
and really helps the man be great while also getting the job done.
All right.
Well you've helped me want to get the fuck out of his car.
Wait.
Happy first day.
Ah...
Is not sentimental present,
is vodka, is classic start gift...
It's nine a.m.
Oh, God, I know.
Here you go.
Oh. Britannica. I feel smart already.
And these. Beiruta!
I don't want to put this on.
My costume still smells like beer and racism.
Oh, nobody washed these?
Was I supposed to wash these?
- Hi. Hi.Hi. Sorry, I'm late. - Hi.
First day of daycare. Drama!
Hey.
Tiny vodka bottle?
Oh, thank you.
You have a good break?
Yeah, uh... productive.
Sam wants everyone in full hair and makeup.
- Dawn and Stacey are setting up. - Okay, cool. Cool.
So who does Welfare Queen fight first?
She's got to defend her title, obviously.
Let's wait for Sam to lay it out.
Hey! Sorry! Where are the costumes?
Finally! Over here.
So you're gonna have to wait till the end of the day to clean these,
but you know, you can just chill over here.
I'm not cleaning them.
Um... Sorry, who are you?
Oh, I'm Junkchain.
All right, so...
Ladies, exciting stuff.
Huh? Making a show, right?
Feels a little different around here.
And we got a few men in the gym, finally.
Whoo! Hubba, hubba!
Hi, guys!
All right, it's adorable.
but don't fucking distract me. I have work to do.
Call me.
Okay. Today is a prep day, which means it's about me.
I'm gonna be checking the shot list, gonna be adjusting the lighting,
gonna be making sure I don't hate your costumes on camera...
Oh! "Prep," like "prepare."
Do you maybe want to introduce us to our new cast member?
Oh, fuck. Yes.
Yolanda.
Meet the girls. Girls, Yolanda.
So, my friends call me Yoyo, but Yolanda is cool.
Are you replacing anyone else or just Cherry?
How about you don't worry about it, okay?
Cherry's got a great job, and she ain't thinking about you.
Does she know you gave away her character?
To a white girl?
I'm not white. I'm Mexican.
She can play Beirut if she wants.
Look, I decide who plays who and when, all right?
And I've decided I like the character Junkchain,
and I want her to be played by a hot girl.
All right? If isn't broke, don't fix it.
So, since Yolanda's new, maybe you want
to walk her through the show's format.
Ruth, it's not rocket science. Okay?
Same thing every week.
Bunch of promos where you guys talk shit about each other.
All right? Then a wrestling match, and then wrestling match,
wrestling match,
another wrestling match.
Then a title match and then a closer,
where Liberty Belle vows to take the crown back from Welfare Queen.
Every week? What about the other storylines?
Hey, you know what's better than me
standing up here answering questions?
It's you quietly reading the answers
in your new contracts.
- Contracts! - Huh?
- Get your contracts here! - Huh?
"... to own in perpetuity all of the rights, results,
products and proceeds in and to
or derived from wrestler services hereunder."
Why don't they write just write, "We own you?"
My brother's first wrestling contract was written on a napkin.
This is a step up.
Anyone got a pen?
Here.
Here's these.
Okay, you're done.
Are you sure? You don't want to see anything else?
No, I'm good.
Okay.
You ever work around this many fucking women?
Actually, yeah.
I used to shoot porn for Hal Freeman.
I love Hal Freeman.
He's a creep.
But, hey, man, if you need an artfully framed crotch shot,
I'm your guy.
Hi! Hi.
So I don't mean to be alarmist,
but I think there's still a lot of confusion about Cherry.
Also some of the language in these contracts...
All right, look! Tell the girls if they don't
have other job offers, to sign them.
Of course.
But maybe since you didn't really answer
any questions during the meeting,
you could set aside some time today to
address the collective anxieties?
Make people feel seen and heard.
No, I don't want the people to feel seen and heard.
I want them to be invisible
so I can transform this gym into a fake luxury hotel.
All right? So if you want to be Alma Hitchcock,
go make everyone feel special so I don't have to.
All right. Who's next?
I'm so glad I got in full hair and makeup
so Sam could point a camera at me for 25 seconds.
What do you guys think?
Do I need different underwear or just a different ass?
That costume was perfect on Cherry
because I made it specifically for her measurements.
So how'd Sam find you? Was it an audition or...
more of a personal connection?
Look!
Your director came to my club.
I gave him a lap dance, and he offered me a job.
Of course. First open slot, he just hires a stripper.
Can you rap?
Can you?
Botanica's a genius. Junkchain is a rapper.
Oh, really? I thought she was a sexy sanitation worker.
And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Hey, hey, guys.
Yolanda's not the enemy.
Granted, it feels a little like she's taking something
that doesn't belong to her. Not your fault.
But I have an idea.
It's gonna make everyone feel better.
♪ Love is all around ♪ ♪ No need to waste it ♪
♪ You can never tell ♪ ♪ Why don't you take it? ♪
♪ You're gonna make it after all! ♪
Are we gonna meet Mary Tyler Moore?
No. We are gonna shoot a main title sequence.
Oh, my God! I love main titles!
Imagine our faces with our names underneath.
How does the Cheers one go again?
I've never seen Cheers.
It's great. It's about an invisible woman named Vera.
We really do need a theme song. It's got to be memorable.
We're doing it.
You guys, Sam's not making a title sequence.
Actually he handed me the reins for the rest of the day
while he's working on the set, so...
Why not make something that reminds us
we are the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling?
Oh, hey, camera guy. Camera guy!
Don't leave.
Right. Well, seems like you have it all figured out.
Good luck, because I have to go to the mall.
I have to buy more shimmer tights.
I love the mall.
- Oh, look at us! - Looks great.
Just stay in character.
You guys look gorgeous!
Get off me.
But stay in your own... space.
Good and just exit camera left.
Exit left, exit camera left.
Yes!
Great, great, great.
Okay. Going to get a diet soda at the food court.
Great and cut!
All right. Um... so, next shot.
I want to get Welfare Queen
coming down the escalator towards us.
She's dripping with shopping bags.
Get Liberty Belle going up the escalator
and when they pass each other,
they start yelling, threatening, maybe someone takes a swipe or...
Tammé!
Where you going? You're in the next shot!
There's a sale at Robinson's! I'll be back.
You want me to ride on the escalator with them?
Get it going both ways, maybe French overs on the move?
I don't know what that is,
but if it's good enough for the French, it's good enough for me.
Are you sure Sam's cool with this?
Look...
- Russell. Russell. - Russell.
I know it's your first day, but Sam and I, we have an understanding.
All right, hey, be careful with this, all right? It's a real thing.
Yup.
- Are you using those sandbags, Ken? - Yeah, how many do you need?
Four.
Thanks for saving me.
Yeah. Didn't want you to be embarrassed on your first day at work.
- It's misleading, right? "Prep day"? - I would have thought the same thing.
- It's right in here. - Oh!
You look like a real Hollywood producer.
Wow! Looks just like the Hayworth.
I got to work.
- It does, doesn't it? - Well, it's a cheat.
- But matching's for pussies, right? - Ha!
I know you're busy prepping.
I just wanted to take a quick moment to introduce you
to one of our MVP directors at the network. Rick Hollander.
Yeah, Rick directs KDTV's longest-running show...
"Quilting Bee Easy." Two E's.
Glen always likes me to swing by
and welcome the new kids to the block.
Ah! Well, I've been around all the blocks. I appreciate the concern.
Curiosity, not concern.
- So, when do you start shooting? - Tomorrow.
Sure it will all come together?
All right, let's take a little look-see.
Put that on, protect your head. All right.
What the fuck?
You don't bring another director to my set uninvited.
Yeah, and where the hell is my hard hat? God!
Can you imagine if I'd replaced you with that guy?
Dodged a bullet there.
Wait, Glen "Clit Dick" tried to replace me
with a guy who wears a turtleneck?
Yeah, he kept calling me during the break
'cause "you've never directed this many hours of television."
Tell you one thing Rick Hollander doesn't have:
that awesome Trapper Keeper.
It's a fucking leather portfolio.
Fuck!
Hello, you beautiful stallion.
Debbie, we're ready!
Let's try that again.
Hi-ya! Ha!
Shit!
She's okay. That was great!
And you're just, you're having fun!
All right. And then, Beirut!
And then you yell out some of your terrorist noises.
Or we do the Risky Business thing,
where we slide her sunglasses down and smile at each other?
You know, like...
I'm gonna pierce your face!
Great! And cut!
Uh, so now I think we should do the same thing again, but with shoes.
I do. I feel like we're missing something.
Action!
Ahh! Yeah!
Hello. Is Zoya.
- Hey, you want to race? - Huh?
Yeah, what are you, two scaredy cats?
Yeah, yeah, you want a piece of this?
Eat my dust!
- I think it's really just rocks. - That's great. Cut, cut, cut.
All right. Hi, ladies!
So you're gonna be on TV. We're doing a TV show for KDTV.
You just need to sign off on it, give us your permission.
Thank you so much. That's great.
And action, Sheila!
So good... What?
Get that burger back! It's your lunch!
Sheila, give it back! Sheila, give it back!
- No! - Yes, food fight!
What the fuck, Sheila? That wasn't... No!
No! Sheila!
Follow them, follow them.
I never said fries!
Hey, ma'am, excuse me.
Are you filming something here?
Yes, yes, I am.
I'm Ruth Wilder with KDTV and if you need to see our permit,
- I... my producers... - No, no, no, no, no!
I'm an actor. At least, when I'm not doing this.
So, if you have something I might be right for...
Oh.
And freeze!
Everybody, hold it right there.
Ready!
And action, security guard!
- Hey. - Yeah.
It's a lot more fun when you direct.
Don't tell Sam that.
Hey! Here, let me help you with that.
Oh! Well, okay, but yeah.
We shot...
We shot some rad stuff today.
Yeah? You think we really captured the nexus of girl-on-girl violence
and consumer culture in America?
Oh, no. It was way dumber than that.
But you have a decent eye.
Wow. "Decent."
Be still, my heart!
You want to come back to my place,
go through the footage,
do a rough assembly, maybe have a drink?
Ruth.
You want a ride?
It's late. We can look over the footage tomorrow, right?
Sure, there's always tomorrow.
One dollar.
You're welcome.
Oh, my God, sorry. Thank you for the ride.
What?
Really? A sleazy camera guy? It's a great idea.
You don't know that he's sleazy.
Is it gonna bother you if...
if I go out on a date? Would... Do you mind if I meet someone?
- Are you asking my permission to date? - I don't know.
I don't care what you do.
Okay.
That guy's a creep.
As number one on the call sheet,
I don't need you to fuck up group morale by getting date raped.
- Do we have a call sheet? - It's an expression.
One dollar, please.
I was gonna call you during the break.
Then I thought...
I shouldn't call, and if the show doesn't go,
maybe that's it, and we'd never talk again.
But today was great.
Wasn't it?
Reminded me of...
when we used to be in scene study class just...
mind-melding over ideas.
I mean, I know the mall's not Chekhov, but...
but I really missed acting with you.
Yeah.
I'm getting a divorce.
What the fuck?
Open a fucking window!
They're open!
And I'm almost done!
What's a "Shitpope"?
What?
What is all this?
It's for Billy's band. I'm in charge of merch.
All right, you know...
We've gotta talk about what the hell is going on here.
I'll clean up.
No. Not the shirts. You.
Are you going back to Sacramento?
You said I could stay here.
"Stay" implies a short period of time.
You said we were gonna sit down and have a conversation
about how we were gonna deal with all this Dad shit.
And then you gave me some old photo albums to look at
and we never did.
I don't know who any of those people are.
They're your Sicilian relatives.
Well, then why don't you tell me their names?
- Or maybe some details? - Okay, so...
What?
You want to talk about this right now?
Do you?
I...
I want a drink.
- Can we order pizza? - Yes!
Not from Billy.
Hey.
- Wow! Power move. - Yeah.
How's your apartment?
Small, but I finally get to hang up
my signed Rebel Without a Cause poster.
Hi! Glen, I'm so sorry I'm late.
- Oh, it's okay. - I came straight from work.
I'm a mess!
- Hi! You must be Jodi. - Hi!
So, once we order,
I promise I will tell you everything I know about Jack Wagner.
I love him.
That chin.
Hi, Mark. William Morris Business Affairs.
Nice to meet you.
So, business before dinner?
You brought your agent?
Oh, God, he's not my agent. But I guess he does work for me.
From where I sit, it's pretty straightforward.
You've made a contract
with a bunch of desperate actresses who don't know any better.
But Debbie's clearly worth more than that.
Um... I'm proud to be part of the KDTV family,
just provided we work out these... I mean, they're tiny details.
Wow, this is a lot of tiny details.
Jodi doesn't need one.
No, I'm sure you don't expect your wife to sit here looking pretty
while we do business. She might have some great ideas.
Hmm.
You have to understand,
I've been working as an actress on a nationally syndicated soap opera.
I have a quote.
And I had a career before the show.
Debbie...
- KDTV is a small, local network. - Yeah.
We don't have this kind of money to throw around.
Let's start with page three. Exclusivity.
Uh...
It is a miracle what you can accomplish
when you force people to work overtime.
Hey.
I don't like when you're in a clump, whispering.
Spread out so I can see you.
We have a surprise for you.
Don't... Look who I found wandering the parking lot.
- Nah. - Glen! So many visits!
I just came to collect the contracts,
make sure you actually had a set to shoot on.
Looked a little dicey yesterday.
Glen.
You know what? This can wait. We can do this later.
No, don't do anything different because I'm here. I'm like a...
fly on the wall.
You won't see me.
Bash Howard Productions and Patio Town, Inc. proudly present,
from the Hayworth Hotel in Los Angeles, California, it's GLOW!
The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!
Oh, my God.
Sam, I wish I still had my hard hat. I would take it off.
That was a romp!
What can I say, Glen?
I know what KDTV wants. That's why you hired me, right?
That's it.
Hey, Glen, why don't I show you our new lobby?
Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, come on! - All right!
All right, Bash.
Oh! Velvet!
Who here is confused about who the director is?
Really? No one is confused?
Because I'm fucking confused. Because I didn't send anyone
to shoot a fucking title sequence at a mall.
So who shot this?
I did.
I cut it, too.
Hey.
It's not him. It was me. I told him what to shoot.
Interesting. Are you making a move on my job, Ruth?
No.
You asked for my help.
Honey, I don't need your help. I need you to be a fucking actress.
Can you guys please keep it down? I got Glen right outside.
I don't give a shit.
He can hear this. Everybody should hear this.
You're not a director just 'cause you
take a fucking camera to the mall.
The girls needed a boost. And if we're being honest,
I thought the show needed something to pull the audience in.
Well, I'm not pulling them in with this cheesy, girly bullshit.
That sequence was garbage.
And I'd never put my name on something I didn't direct.
You put your name on the pilot.
What'd you say?
You know Ruth directed the pilot.
She saved your ass. You should thank her.
You're fired.
Holy shit!
You can't fire me. I signed a contract.
Yeah, a contract that says you can't quit without notice,
and I can fire you whenever the fuck I want to.
So pack up your shit and get off of my set.
Okay.
Does anyone else have anything to say?
Good.
Let's get to work.
Hey Ruth, if you want to help out,
why don't you pick up these fucking chairs? All over the place.
Hi. Here you go. Glen already has a copy.
Why does Glen have a copy?
We made a few adjustments together. There's an addendum.
Oh, is that what you're calling these extra 250 pages?
I have to look out for myself now.
I know what I'm worth, and I am not apologizing to anyone.
You didn't need to fire Reggie. If you want to fire someone, fire me.
Is that what you really want?
- I had ideas. - All right, well, put 'em in your diary.
I can't make this show if they're all looking to you for answers.
We care about each other. We're a team.
You're not really a team.
This isn't basketball.
If I lose one of you, my entire offense doesn't fall apart.
You're all replaceable.
Even you, Ruth.
Are you kidding me?
You want to be a producer?
Oh, no.
I am a producer.
- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --