1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,371
Good news, wife.
I've repaired the kitchen door.

2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,106
The raccoon will
vex us no further.

3
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:07,741
Oh, Silas, you are the
most loving of husbands.

4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,243
I feel so safe
when you're near.

5
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:10,544
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

6
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:11,679
[Thud]
-Ohhh!
-Aah!

7
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,347
[Ominous chord strikes]

8
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,749
Bad news, wife.
It's the constable.

9
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,351
His throat
has been slitteth.

10
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,319
[Gasp]

11
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,687
**

12
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,456
[echoing] * La-la

13
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,626
* La-la

14
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,795
* La la

15
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,763
* La-la

16
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,065
* La

17
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,800
* La-la la

18
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:36,304
[Suspenseful music plays]

19
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:43,144
**

20
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,282
**

21
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,118
[Suspenseful chord strikes]

22
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,786
**

23
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:56,590
[Birds chirping]

24
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:57,691
You know, just because
you used to be sheriff,

25
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,227
doesn't mean
you can just call me

26
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,828
and I'll drive you places
whenever you want.

27
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,196
You think I like it,
sister?

28
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,864
Let me ask ya
a personal question.

29
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,535
What's with the "No alcohol
in the squad car" policy?

30
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,537
When exactly did that start?
-I don't know.

31
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,705
Since the beginning
of squad cars?

32
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,841
You're out here, tryin'
to nail drunk people.

33
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,343
You wanna get 'em,
you gotta be 'em.

34
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:16,344
You gotta [strikes palm]

35
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,212
get right
in their skin!

36
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,614
[sighs]
What about your car?

37
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:23,484
Ah, you know how Denise likes to
park it with the windows open?

38
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,618
-It got stolen?
-No,

39
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,187
a couple of crows
flew in there,

40
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,588
-[Laughs]
-made a nest, and, now,

41
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:30,158
she won't let me drive it
until the eggs hatch.

42
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,193
Hey, you know
a group of crows

43
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,494
is called a murder?

44
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,595
Yeah, well.

45
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:35,696
[Horn honking]
Whoa! Whoa!

46
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:36,564
Yeah, that's a close--

47
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,565
Did you see that?!

48
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,899
[Siren chirps]

49
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:42,570
[Suspenseful music plays]

50
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,704
Book 'em, Danno.

51
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:48,609
**

52
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,278
Know why I stopped you?

53
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,879
'Cause I'm good-looking?
[Pen scratching]

54
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,281
You were speeding.

55
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,216
Mm. My bad.

56
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,518
If I'd known the sheriff
was as pretty as you,

57
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,453
I would've gone a lot
faster, a lot sooner.

58
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:00,854
Wow!

59
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,890
Hey, I have an idea.
Let's, uh,

60
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,158
meet for drinks.

61
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,593
[Cluck-cluck]

62
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,894
I have an idea, too.

63
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,762
But there'd be
too many witnesses.

64
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,631
[Chuckle]

65
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,366
So that's a yes?

66
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,801
[Chuckle]

67
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,336
Stan, you know
that guy hit on me?

68
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,171
I can't believe it!
This is the third time

69
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,472
in a month!
I'm sick of it.

70
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,241
And I'm wearing
a uniform, for God's sake.

71
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,742
Well, it's your
own fault, you know?

72
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,711
-My fault?
-Clean hair, good gums,

73
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,945
you're outside.

74
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,747
You're sendin' all
the signals.

75
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,482
What?! No!

76
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,650
You wanna hear
something interesting?

77
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,951
Back when I was sheriff,

78
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,853
not a single woman
ever hit on me.

79
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,356
Would you like to know why?
-I'm sure you'll tell me.

80
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,391
Because I was wearin'
a wedding ring.

81
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,726
Not available.

82
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,230
Los carne marquito
es cerrado.

83
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,232
Marquito is not a word.

84
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,600
[Music-box lullaby plays]

85
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:47,768
[Bell chimes]

86
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:54,608
**

87
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,914
Hi, there.

88
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,916
Do you have any
wedding rings?

89
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,652
Something to make
me look married

90
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,587
or less unmarried,
something like that?

91
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,222
Isn't that something
your fiancé

92
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:09,890
should be buying
for you, dear?

93
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:13,294
Yeah, no. He would be, if I
had one, but I am divorced.

94
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,562
Thank God.

95
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,231
No, I just need
to loo married.

96
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,299
I mean,

97
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,601
I get hit on constantly.

98
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,803
I mean, you know what
I'm talking about.

99
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:26,407
You probably...
I mean, when you were--

100
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,675
So, do you have anything?

101
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,278
I think I do.

102
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,712
Awesome.

103
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:35,816
-This stone
-Hey, there!

104
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:39,019
symbolizes the lifelong
entwining of soulmates.

105
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:43,324
[Scoffing]

106
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,726
I'm very bitter.
How much?

107
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,861
Why don't you just
take it, dear?

108
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,964
I'm always happy
to help the police.

109
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,266
No, I cou-- I cou--

110
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,534
Seriously?
-Mm-hmm.

111
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,635
-Oh, you're gonna put it
-Ooh!

112
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,271
on me, wow.
-Perfect fit.

113
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,973
Wow. I guess it does.

114
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,842
Thanks again.
-You're welcome.

115
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,043
[Suspenseful music plays]

116
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,446
[Door opens, bell chimes]

117
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:09,883
[Suspenseful music climbs]

118
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:13,554
[Music-box lullaby plays]

119
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,888
I have an idea.
Let's, uh,

120
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,324
meet for drinks.

121
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,791
[Cluck-cluck]

122
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,794
* La-la

123
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,931
* La-la

124
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,434
* La la

125
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,601
* La-la la

126
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,537
[Thwack!]
* La

127
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,605
[ Eerie music climbs ]

128
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:32,473
Do-o-o-n't!

129
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,741
[Crickets chirping]

130
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,875
[Gasp]

131
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,913
[Exhales softly]

132
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:40,914
[Birds chirping]

133
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:44,852
[Ring]

134
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,087
[Ring]

135
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,489
[Exhales sharply]

136
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,491
[Ring]

137
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,326
Yeah?
-[Garbled blah-blah-blah]

138
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,694
Hey, Leon.

139
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:58,031
[Garbled blah-blah-blah]

140
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,600
Really?

141
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,934
Uh, okay.
I'll be right there.

142
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,069
[Garbled blah]
[Receiver hits cradle]

143
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,738
[Suspenseful music plays]

144
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:05,939
[Siren wails, stops]

145
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,709
[Car door opens, closes]

146
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:09,910
Euuuwghhh.

147
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,512
I waited for you
to turn him over

148
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,780
in case it's somebody
I knew in high school

149
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,415
and I hated 'em
and start laughin'.

150
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:17,117
-Thanks. Help me out.
-Lift with your back.

151
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,686
[Grunts]
-Oh!

152
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,920
[Thud]

153
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,455
Oh!
-Huh. Nope.

154
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,557
Oh, my God.

155
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,626
I gave this guy
a speeding ticket yesterday.

156
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,994
Wow.

157
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,829
You think that ticket
was the final straw

158
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,864
in a miserable,
empty existence

159
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,634
and he slit
his own throat?

160
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,068
Wouldn't want that
on me.

161
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,804
Uh, hand me the, uh,
fingerprint kit.

162
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,948
-[stage whisper] Evie.
-Yeah?

163
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,750
If I went and got
some onion rings,

164
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,018
would you want some?

165
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,886
Ah! All right.

166
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,022
We find the owner
of these handprints,

167
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,957
we've got our killer.
-Evie!

168
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,560
-Yeah.
-[whispering] Onion rings?

169
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,894
Yeah, sure.

170
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:06,634
**

171
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:11,705
**

172
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:13,507
Hahhhh...

173
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,642
[Scoff]

174
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,510
[Running footsteps]

175
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:17,511
[whispering]
I need some money.

176
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,583
-What's that smell?
-Men, Sergeant.

177
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,685
-Stan, I need to talk to you--
-Ahh, zsh, zsh.

178
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,586
I'm watching one
of the greatest

179
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,488
motion pictures
of the past 200 years.

180
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,956
Little thing called
"Ice Station Zebra,"

181
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,691
starring Rock Hudson.

182
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,092
Now, that's a man's man.

183
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,694
Not like these actors today.

184
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,163
You tell Rock Hudson
to go on a juice cleanse,

185
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,831
he'd eat a dog
in front of ya.

186
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,633
[quietly] Okay.

187
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,769
Stan!

188
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,472
I think I may have
killed someone.

189
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,073
You had me at "killed."

190
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,508
In my sleep.

191
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:51,445
-Ahh, you ruined it.
-This is serious!

192
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:53,481
All right, so,
I have a dream

193
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,882
that I slit
a guy's throat, right?

194
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,551
It's just a dream. Sure.
Fine. No problem.

195
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,619
Today,

196
00:06:58,652 --> 00:06:59,787
that same guy

197
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,655
shows up dead,
on the sidewalk,

198
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:02,556
with his throat slit!

199
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,791
* Cool!

200
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,192
No, it's not cool!

201
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,527
It's not cool that
I'm killing people

202
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,095
in my sleep!
It's horrible!

203
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,831
No, I meant this
baby-crow blanket.

204
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,533
Hahh. I'm gonna go
take it out to the car,

205
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,635
to the mama crow.

206
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,604
Ca-caw.
Ca-caw ca-caw-caw!

207
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,705
Stan, I don't know
what to do.

208
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,172
[Door slams]
Do I arrest myself?

209
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,774
I mean, how would
that even work?!

210
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,943
Take a load off.

211
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,979
Do what I do when I'm facing
a troubling situation:

212
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,715
a) Do not think about it and

213
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,016
b) Go on about a case
of brews.

214
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,117
All the best.

215
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,852
[Slurping]

216
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,055
[Grunting]

217
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,690
I got it. I got it.

218
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:37,558
[ Crash! ]

219
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,860
Excuse me, Sheriff.

220
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,195
I need a restraining order.
-I don't even know you!

221
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,131
It's for my boyfriend.
He's crazy.

222
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,633
He threatened to beat up
my dad because

223
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:46,567
-You!
-I do--

224
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,935
God.

225
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,937
Come on. Let's go.

226
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,072
No, you hold
your horses, mister!

227
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,807
You let go of her,
right now!

228
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,676
[Ominous music plays]

229
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,044
[Scoffs]

230
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,879
Oh, yeah?

231
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,213
You want a piece of me?

232
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,516
You don't have to do this.
He's a child.

233
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:03,884
Oh, don't you worry.
This won't be

234
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,186
the first child I've sent
to the hospital.

235
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,057
[Sinister chord strikes]

236
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,260
**

237
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,763
[Eerie music plays]

238
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:22,603
**

239
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:31,044
**

240
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,179
[Thudding]

241
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,748
**

242
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:38,285
[Suspenseful music climbs]

243
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,753
[Ominous music plays]

244
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:42,122
[Music-box lullaby plays]

245
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:45,158
**

246
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,028
[Ominous chord strikes]

247
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:51,565
[Thudding]
[Ominous chord strikes]

248
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,000
He's dead!

249
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,101
You killed him!

250
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,969
You saved me!

251
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,037
[Gasp]

252
00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:00,073
-Mnh.
-Mm!

253
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,141
Mm! I want you.

254
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,876
Mnh.

255
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,613
Uh-- No.

256
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:06,914
Why don't you go
freshen up

257
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,649
and I'm gonna draw
a chalk outline

258
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,317
around your
boyfriend's corpse.

259
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,886
No, not here. Not now.

260
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,121
I'm in mourning.

261
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,891
Call me in an hour.

262
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,895
[Ring]
I know, but I still
haven't figured out--

263
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:22,963
[Ring, beep]

264
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,164
Hey, what's up, Leon?

265
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,066
-I just killed a guy.
-What?

266
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,235
We were fighting and he
had a heart attack.

267
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,137
He kicked my ass
to death.

268
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,105
[whispering] Hey.
Leon killed someone, too.

269
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,173
That's him.

270
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,675
Mr. Bandwagon.

271
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,244
Wait. "Too"?
Like "also" too?

272
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,180
All right.
I'm not totally sure,

273
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:43,216
but you know that guy
whose throat got slit?

274
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,785
I'm afraid I
might've done it .

275
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,887
You think this
makes us closer?

276
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,088
-What?!
-No, nothin'.

277
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,823
I'm just saying.
It's, you know,

278
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,959
nice havin' a buddy
who's on the same page.

279
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,261
[Beep]
Great.

280
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,029
Listen, I'm afraid
to go to sleep tonight.

281
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,832
I mean,
what if I kill again?!

282
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,668
You'll be fine.
Just don't kill me or Denise.

283
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,169
Jiminy!
[panting]

284
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:06,173
Pregnancy hormones are like
bath salts for crows.

285
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,340
[Exhales deeply]

286
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,642
Make that just me.

287
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,778
All right.
Guys, I need someone

288
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:11,779
to watch me tonight,
to make sure

289
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:12,946
I don't go to sleep.

290
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,715
Well, here, I'd love
to do it, but,

291
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:15,849
my ass and my chair

292
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,118
are currently having
a playdate.

293
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,953
I'll do it, Evie. I mean,
the pain in my face

294
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,189
is gonna keep me up
for days.

295
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,290
I'll go pack.

296
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,292
Wow-ow,

297
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:29,697
everything really does
happen for a reason.

298
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,933
[Chuckle]

299
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,935
Gosh, she's upbeat.

300
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,437
[Crickets chirping]

301
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,906
[Sniffing]

302
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,208
Ewgh.

303
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,410
Ow! Ow!
-Okay!

304
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,678
Ow.

305
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:45,979
Hey, if you want to

306
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,848
pick the first movie,
go right ahead.

307
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,249
I've got it!

308
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,251
[Breathing deeply]

309
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,987
The screen's black,
then the words come up--

310
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,989
"Welcome to General Cinemas."

311
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,257
* Ta ta-ta-ta

312
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,391
* Ta-ta-ta, ta-ta-ta

313
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,827
Then Dennis Hopper...

314
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,962
[Inhales sharply,
exhales deeply]

315
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,330
...puts lipstick

316
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,398
all over his lips.

317
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,267
[yawning] You know what?
I'm gonna stop you.

318
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,468
Hold that thought.

319
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,803
I'm just gonna grab
some coffee.

320
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,338
[Crickets continue chirping]

321
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,746
[Suspenseful music plays]

322
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,949
**

323
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,350
Sorry about that.
I just--

324
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:28,288
[Snoring]

325
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,322
Great.

326
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,759
[Ticking]

327
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:32,893
[Snorts]

328
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,895
**

329
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,964
[Snoring]

330
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:40,167
**

331
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,769
[Snort]

332
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:42,870
**

333
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,271
[Staccato snore]

334
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,239
[Ticking]

335
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:52,045
**

336
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,247
[Snoring]

337
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,183
[Eerie music plays]
[Creaking]

338
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,252
[Music-box lullaby plays]
[echoing] * La-la

339
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,055
* La-la

340
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:08,061
* La la-la la-la

341
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,930
* La-la

342
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:10,998
[Creaking]

343
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,466
* La-la

344
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:17,204
* La la-la la

345
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,139
[Gasp]

346
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,108
* La-la
[Ring]

347
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,076
[Gasp]
[Ring]

348
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,545
[Door slams]
[Ring]

349
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,479
Oh.

350
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:30,383
[Ring]

351
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,920
Jello.
-Oh, Stan! Thank God.

352
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,255
Okay, listen up.
I just saw it in my dream.

353
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,489
There is someone
in your house

354
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,991
and they're trying
to kill you.

355
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,059
And it's not me!

356
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,794
Because I'm here!

357
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,229
And I have nicer hands.

358
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,563
Yeah, I don't know
what you drank,

359
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,165
but it was too much.
Good night.

360
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,100
No, no, no. Wait!
Stan, I'm serious!

361
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,535
[Outer door slams]
Stan?!

362
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,537
[Music-box lullaby plays]

363
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,539
Stan!

364
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,341
Stan!

365
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,176
[echoing] * La-la

366
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,310
Stan!

367
00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:00,280
* La-la

368
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,115
* La
-Stan!

369
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,020
What am I wearin'?
I'm wearin' my work uniform.

370
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,355
What are you wearin'?
-Hey.

371
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,590
[rapidly]
Look, I gotta go. Bye.

372
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,193
Lab reports. Okay, good.

373
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,095
The fingerprints
on the jacket were not mine,

374
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,297
which we already knew.

375
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,299
But they don't match anything
in the database, either.

376
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:23,003
Oh! They found a long,
gray hair on the jacket.

377
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,138
And guess what was
on the end of that!

378
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,539
Saltwater taffy.

379
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,575
-What?
-Paper clips.

380
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,078
-No.
-Chewin' tobacco.

381
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,213
-Why am I letting you guess?
-Motor oil!

382
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,281
Why would you...?

383
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,884
Necrotic flesh.

384
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,118
Like from a dead person.

385
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,552
Oh, so we're lookin'
for a dead female

386
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,354
who pushes people
off of roofs

387
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,157
and may, or may not,
work at Jiffy Lube.

388
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,926
What? No! Why? Why?!

389
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,627
She'd be easy to find, if we
had night-vision goggles

390
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,897
and a helicopter, but not
with our state budget.

391
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,365
It's all wasted on food banks
and afterschool programs.

392
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,201
Okay now, this is interesting.

393
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,502
[Suspenseful music plays]
According to the autopsy report,

394
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,237
the guy you killed?

395
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,439
Had already been dead
for a month.

396
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,141
They exhumed his grave.
It was empty.

397
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,443
I-I re-killed a dead guy?

398
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,613
This is all starting to make
some kind of horrible sense.

399
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,415
I'm gonna check
the county records to see

400
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,318
if any sheriffs were killed
by being pushed off a roof.

401
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,120
I'm gonna call
the state capital,

402
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,255
see if I can shake loose some
of that helicopter money.

403
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,491
**

404
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,094
[Ring]

405
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,295
[Ring]

406
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,397
Helicopter department,
please.

407
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:25,899
[Rattling]

408
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:26,599
[Thud]

409
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,935
Come on.

410
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,476
**

411
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,544
Oh.

412
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:43,216
**

413
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,684
Married.

414
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,620
Seemed happy.

415
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,289
God, socks were
cheap back then.

416
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,392
**

417
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,494
[Sinister chord strikes]

418
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:58,098
Clearly, it's the same ring,
but, that still doesn't explain

419
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:01,401
why I'm seeing through
the eyes of a killer.

420
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,436
You see that woman?

421
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,039
She looks just like
my new girlfriend.

422
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,674
You could even say
she's a...

423
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:11,378
dead ringer.

424
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,712
-Mm.
-You know, ring?

425
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,181
-Yeah, no, I got it.
-[Laughs]

426
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,449
-Where does she live?
-I don't know.

427
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,251
But you're already
calling her your girlfriend?

428
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,988
See, this is the thing with you.
You always rush into stuff.

429
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,090
No.
Maybe I just go slow

430
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,724
faster than you do.

431
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,393
So the only
other lead we have

432
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,695
is the old woman
at the antique store.

433
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,697
I'll drive.

434
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,632
It's one street over.

435
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,235
Oh, dear God.
-Activate...action pants!

436
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,970
[Rattling]

437
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,372
Lights and siren.

438
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,740
I'm gonna meet you there.

439
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,676
[Siren wailing,
tires screeching]

440
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,548
Yeah, hey, Stan, it's me.

441
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,050
Listen, I think we got
a lead on those killings.

442
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,351
I'm not sure where
it's gonna go, but,

443
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,685
I think it starts
at the antique store,

444
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,121
so, uh, meet us there.

445
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,324
[Squeaks]

446
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,662
[Tranquil tune plays]
[falsetto] "Oh,

447
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,664
you should
just meet us there."

448
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,666
Uh, yes, sir, miss.

449
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,602
Jawohl, mein Commandant.
-[Crow caws]

450
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,039
You know what's
the funniest thing?

451
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:15,408
Whenever I put that ring on,
I've been seeing murders.

452
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,310
Really?
[chuckle]

453
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,345
It's just a ring.

454
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,080
Mm. It's the ring

455
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,682
of a dead constable's wife.

456
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,284
And that woman
standing behind her?

457
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,353
I totally tongue-darted
her yesterday.

458
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,754
Yeah, and, if you want
to do it again,

459
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,522
you'll shave
that mustache.

460
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,590
Say what?

461
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,792
Ohh.

462
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,361
Yes, Sheriff
[chuckle]

463
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:38,531
[Suspenseful music plays]
we are one and the same.

464
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,699
Years and years ago,

465
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,168
I was

466
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,670
Constable Pruitt's
mistress.

467
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,173
He...promised to leave
his wife for me

468
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,609
and, then, he didn't.
[chuckle]

469
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,245
I couldn't steal him,
but,

470
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,281
I could steal this.

471
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,583
I wanted him dead,
but I--

472
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,719
I couldn't bring myself
to do it, of course.

473
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,488
And then,

474
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,757
Constable Eccles
appeared to me.

475
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,760
He said that,
if I killed Pruitt,

476
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,230
I would stay young
and beautiful

477
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,799
until I found myself
a new sheriff to wed.

478
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,567
**

479
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,703
And that --
that grew tiresome.

480
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,206
Heh. Very tiresome.

481
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,341
And, eventually,
[breathy chuckle]

482
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,743
I stopped looking.

483
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,745
It's been almost
200 years.

484
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,515
**

485
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,549
[crying] And then,

486
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,484
you came in here,

487
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,821
wanting a wedding ring,
just to look married,

488
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,789
just to
keep men away.

489
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,426
[Sputtering laugh]

490
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,094
I wanted you to see
what it's like

491
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,263
for a woman
who wanted marriage,

492
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:46,599
and it was denied her.

493
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,401
-Couple of things--
-Yeah, I have a big question.

494
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:49,869
-What?
-What do you think
of my mustache?

495
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,804
That's your question?

496
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,106
-Yeah.
-I wanted to tell you--

497
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,507
Oh. Oh.

498
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,776
[Tranquil tune continues]
[Crows cawing]

499
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,112
Listen to me.
Either pipe down

500
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,580
or I'm gonna throw a cat
back there.

501
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,682
How do you like that?
Huh?

502
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,817
[Wings fluttering]
Oh, for the love of-- Stop.

503
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,453
[Suspenseful music plays]

504
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,556
Oh, my God, the roof.

505
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,424
Evie!

506
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,860
Leon?!
Where are you?!

507
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,495
Down! Here!

508
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,164
**

509
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,365
[Suspenseful music climbs]

510
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,699
-Unhh! Damn it!
-[Crows cawing]

511
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:23,136
Ah! Jesus, don't...
peck the driver.

512
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,804
**

513
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:28,508
It's time to end
this nightmare.

514
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,344
Killing yourself
is not the answer.

515
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,713
I'm not gonna kill myself.

516
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,448
I meant it's time to kill you.

517
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,884
-That tracks.
-Mm.

518
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:41,321
["Here Comes the Bride"]
* La la la-la

519
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,556
[Music-box lullaby plays]
* La la la-la

520
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,493
-Uhh...
-[echoing] * La-la

521
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,928
* La-la
-Where did she go?

522
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,532
-Right here, dear.
-Ahh!

523
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,201
I got her, Evie.

524
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,336
Even if I have to shoot
through you to get her.

525
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,604
Okay, I don't think
we're there yet.

526
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,439
[Suspenseful music plays]

527
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,607
In fact,

528
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,242
Leon can marry you!

529
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,211
-What?!
-Shut up! You're doing it!

530
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,545
heh.

531
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,514
You always wanted to marry
a -- a constable.

532
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:08,615
That's what you said.

533
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,550
But he's only a deputy.

534
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,352
At your age,
you can't settle?

535
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,720
I mean, I-I could even
do the ceremony.

536
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,255
Right here. Right now!

537
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,357
But you just said I
always rush into things!

538
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,158
[tersely] Read the room.

539
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,463
[Crows cawing]
-Stan: Are you kidding' me?

540
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,631
Ewww!

541
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,799
Ohh!
That better not be your...

542
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,201
Oh. It's your foot.

543
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,637
Okay, uh...
Okay, do you...?

544
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,971
Priscilla Atherton.

545
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,806
Pretty name.
Do you, Priscilla Atherton,

546
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,275
take this man,
Leon Drinkwater,

547
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,676
to be your lawfully
wedded husband?

548
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,645
-I do.
-Great. Do you, Leo--

549
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,647
-Yeah.
-Okay. Uh...

550
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,683
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

551
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,418
You may kiss the bride.

552
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:49,289
[Eerie music plays]

553
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,490
[Rumble]
Ooh!

554
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,591
How do you think
I feel?

555
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,793
Ohhh.

556
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,395
What is happening?

557
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,264
Oh, that? Well.

558
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,598
-Agh!
-Constable Eccles

559
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,533
only guaranteed you
eternal youth and beauty

560
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,968
until you found yourself
a new husband

561
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,636
and, now, you have one.
-N-No.

562
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:04,904
I guess you'll
have to go back to being

563
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,339
a normal, everyday,

564
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,642
200-year-old woman.
-Noooooooooooooo!

565
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:11,978
[Eerie music climbs]

566
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,913
-Aggggghhhhh!
-Aah!

567
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,749
Aaaah!

568
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,586
[hoarsely] I'll...
kill...you.

569
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,721
-Ah! Oh!
-What the hell's goin' on here?

570
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,423
[Bones snap dryly]
-Aah!

571
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,391
Ew!

572
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,260
-Ohhh!
-No. No-o-o.

573
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,861
-Ugh. [Thud]
-Ah,

574
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,730
well, everything's fine
'cause we found the murderer,

575
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,532
but it's okay 'cause
Leon married her.

576
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,666
Yeah, well,
I just drove out here

577
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,635
in a car full of crows.

578
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,936
Didn't phase me.
You know why?

579
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,971
It's Nothing Bothers Stan
Tuesday.

580
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:44,544
[Bones snapping dryly]
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

581
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,578
I'm a widow?

582
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,879
Oh, buck up there, Leon.

583
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,481
There are plenty
of other fish in the sea.

584
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,583
Maybe none
quite so old as her,

585
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,319
but I don't judge.

586
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,620
That's not true.
I do judge.

587
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:56,556
But not today.
Everybody gets a pass.

588
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,857
Seriously, Leon, you okay?

589
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,427
Yes, th-that was
your idea, you know?

590
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,629
-I know!
-You think I was
excited about tonight?

591
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,531
Can you imagine what
she looked like naked?

592
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:05,798
Oh, I can.

593
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:09,035
I bet she looked like
a pile of peppers.

594
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,003
Wow. Okay.
I'm leaving.

595
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,672
I have another one.

596
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,041
I bet she looked like
her own weight in raisins.

597
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,943
-Goodbye!
-A dolphin's blow hole,

598
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,945
surrounded by chicken fat?

599
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:19,946
Good night.

600
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,748
Tough crowd.

601
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,316
[Sizzling]
[breathlessly] * La

602
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,517
* La-la

603
00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:27,320
* La la

604
00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:32,325
* La la la-la

605
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,292
* La