1 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,575 [Door creaks] Hey. 2 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,978 There he is. -Hey! Jim! 3 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,514 Congrats on Atlanta. -Thank you, Raj. 4 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,350 You know, boy, you're a very talented young man. 5 00:00:17,352 --> 00:00:19,184 You put up quite a fight. 6 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,454 I have a little something for you. No, Jim, come on. 7 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,788 Where is that thing? Where is it? 8 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:23,889 Here it is. -I'm excited. 9 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,658 Psych! Fuck you! 10 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,127 I win. 11 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,195 I am a major-league broadcaster! 12 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,465 Aaron Thomas in his iTunes review says 13 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:37,302 that "Jim Brockmire is a boring and rambling drunk. 14 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,004 One star." [Jeering] 15 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,940 No, no. Thank you for the feedback, Aaron. 16 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:44,043 And here is my response. 17 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,479 [Cheering] 18 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,881 I don't know if you remember me, 19 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,683 but you would not let me eat out your ass. 20 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,952 I just want you to know that the joke is on you, 21 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:57,222 because I'm a major-league broadcaster now. 22 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,824 You lose! [Grunts] 23 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,325 Ha! 24 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,427 Can you see these babies through your mouth hole, 25 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,229 you -- you piece of shit?! 26 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:08,501 [Cheering] Major-league broadcaster, baby! 27 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:09,535 [Screams] 28 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,570 You lose, I win! 29 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,239 [Laughs maniacally] 30 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:18,177 Because I am a major-league broadcaster, baby! 31 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,978 Ha ha ha ha ha! 32 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,113 That don't impress me, bitch. 33 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,583 And you still can't eat this ass. 34 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,151 See, I -- Are you sure, though? 35 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,753 You know, 'cause the butthole and the vagina, 36 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,055 they're connected in pleasure. 37 00:01:29,057 --> 00:01:30,589 That's why they're so close together. 38 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,591 It's like yin and yang, ass and tang. 39 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,527 No, g-- Unh! 40 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:35,794 [Grunts] 41 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,396 I win. Major-league broadcaster. 42 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:38,564 [Grunts] 43 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,400 [Grunts] 44 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,936 ♪♪ 45 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,470 [Bell dings] 46 00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,039 ♪♪ 47 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,473 Charles: So, have you given any thought 48 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:50,075 to what's gonna happen to me with Atlanta? 49 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,079 I'm pretty sure they don't want a 19-year-old producer 50 00:01:53,081 --> 00:01:54,412 who doesn't like baseball. 51 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,615 Oh, no, Charles. I got your back. 52 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,151 Are you kidding me? Have I ever let you down before? 53 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,619 You literally do it every day. 54 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,622 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Daddy's thirsty. 55 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,290 [Liquid sloshing] 56 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,491 [Knock on door] 57 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,160 Congratulations! 58 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,962 I just came in to drop off your Atlanta itinerary. 59 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,165 -Hold. -[Chuckles] 60 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,700 -We leave tomorrow? -Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,169 And I have some other amazing news. 62 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:20,639 What if I told you that you're going to be 63 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,575 a major-league broadcaster? 64 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,678 I would like it. 65 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,314 I like it so much, I've been screaming it into the face of my enemies. 66 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,383 Didn't you just congratulate me for that? 67 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,252 I don't understand what's happening. You didn't let me finish. 68 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,420 I was pausing for dramatic effect. 69 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,856 Well, it just seemed like you were done. Yeah, thank you, Charles. 70 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,858 I do pride myself on my ability to honor 71 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,327 the flow of conversation. 72 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,661 What if I told you that you're gonna be 73 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,763 a major-league broadcaster tomorrow? 74 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,466 Tomorrow? But that's the last game of the season, isn't it? 75 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,134 That's Art Newlie's last game. 76 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,603 And he's going to call it with you. 77 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:55,340 I pitched a co-booth as a symbolic passing of the torch. 78 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,876 From a PR standpoint, it doesn't really get much better. 79 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,911 [Gasps] Oh, my God! 80 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,346 This view. 81 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,014 Oh, you can see that new Starbucks 82 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,483 where they have the wine! -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 83 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,352 -Oh! Oh, oh! -Oh, God! Oh, God! Help! 84 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,521 Here. Flush it out with some water. Here you are. Oh! Oh! 85 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,089 -Why's it burning? -Here you go, here you go. 86 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,025 Flush it out. -Oh! Oh, God, that hurts worse! 87 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,193 Wait, no, no! That's the gin! That's the gin! That's the gin! 88 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,095 Oh, God damn it! Where's the water? 89 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,098 Here you go, here you go. That's water. Here. This -- 90 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,500 Oh, God. Oh, my God, Jim. 91 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,968 Oh, my God! 92 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,770 Jim, have you been drinking?! 93 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,171 Oh, my God! 94 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,974 Have you been drinking in the booth all season? 95 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,776 Are you -- Are you drunk right now? 96 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,078 Is this -- Is this who you are?! 97 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,916 Yes, yes, yes... 98 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,052 ...and yes. 99 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,720 I wasn't pausing for dramatic effect there. 100 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,188 I was genuinely deliberating. 101 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,390 This -- [chuckles nervously] This is who I am. 102 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,860 No, no, no, no, no. I told them that you were under control. 103 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,396 This -- This is not "under control." 104 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,333 This -- This is the definition of "out of control"! 105 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,601 Whoa, wa-- Whoa! That's some top-shelf hiding whiskey 106 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,203 you're -- you're waving around there. 107 00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,671 Jim... 108 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,273 my reputation is on the line. 109 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:05,610 You cannot drink in the booth with Art. 110 00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,213 Well, we have faced this problem one time before, 111 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,282 and we came up with a very elegant solution. 112 00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,751 You see, we soak a tampon -- 113 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,254 stay with me -- in whiskey, and then we insert it -- 114 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,823 No. It's all right. I don't mind. 115 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,391 I can even jog with that baby in there. 116 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,761 Okay. No alcohol! 117 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,097 If Art sees you drunk in this booth, 118 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,433 this whole thing is over, okay? 119 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:31,870 You have to promise me that you will call this game sober. 120 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,441 W-Well, it's -- this is the single most important game 121 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,910 of my career, so, of course, Whitney, 122 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,612 I will definitely call it sober. 123 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,582 Good. 124 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:52,124 ♪♪ 125 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:53,259 [Exhales sharply] 126 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,861 This is a bad time, but, um... 127 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,263 tomorrow's not gonna work for me. 128 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,666 Jim: Look, you're coming to Atlanta, Charles. 129 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,335 I'm sorry, but I need you there. Charles: I have a meeting 130 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,270 with a potential sponsor for the podcast. 131 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,072 You gotta cancel it, Charles. I'm s-- 132 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,940 Wait, I'm gonna level with you, okay? 133 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,409 When I get nervous, 134 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,645 I have a little bit of a drinking problem. 135 00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,880 [Laughing] I have never seen you sober. 136 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,749 That's maintenance, right? That's medicinal. 137 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,417 But under high pressure, I just -- 138 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,819 I ratchet it up, like, 12 notches. 139 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,488 Well, then d-dip off to the bathroom 140 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,723 and take a few nips between innings. 141 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,493 No, no. Once you pop, you just can't stop. 142 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,694 Like...Pringles? 143 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,161 No, more like poppers, Charles. 144 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,630 Like amyl nitrate. 145 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,498 See this little bad boy right here? 146 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,367 This both raises the libido and acts as a muscle relaxant. 147 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,937 This is the Bo Jackson of sexual aids. 148 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:42,374 Just...don't drink for one half day. 149 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,510 Do you hear yourself? Do you hear how insane you sound? 150 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,611 Charles! I am an addict, all right? 151 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,246 It's taking every ounce of restraint I have 152 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,449 not to sniff this entire bottle right now. 153 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,917 If I don't drink in that booth, 154 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,786 I'm gonna get antsy, I'm gonna get the shakes. 155 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:56,321 I'm liable to rip Art Newlie's head right off. 156 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:59,791 Be real easy, too. I'll just grab the loose, old skin around his neck, 157 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,193 and I'll just... [pops lips] 158 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,395 Okay! I will go with you to Atlanta. 159 00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:07,065 I will make sure you get into the booth sober and not murdery. 160 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,667 Thank you. Thank you. 161 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,270 But as soon as you're settled, I'm on a plane. 162 00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:16,675 I know you don't care about podcasting, but I do. 163 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,377 Fine! Whatever. 164 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,882 Ooh! 165 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,885 Uh...I'm gonna wanna make a quick stop 166 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,887 on Craigslist casual encounters 167 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,955 before we hit the airport. 168 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,859 [Chuckles] Ooh. 169 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:45,604 ♪♪ 170 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:54,546 ♪♪ 171 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,048 This is one of Art's game day traditions. 172 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,383 He shakes everyone's hand 173 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:01,253 and makes each person feel valuable. 174 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,856 Hey, Jim Brockmire. How are you, friend? 175 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,357 -Art. -Oh! 176 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,859 I'm so pleased to be sharing the booth with you today. 177 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,430 I cannot think of a better way to tie a bow on this career. 178 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:14,566 Well, Art, I am just so honored to be a part of this. 179 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:17,503 This is my friend Charles. -Charles. 180 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,505 I heard you made quite an impression on my production staff. 181 00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,474 You really know the ins and outs of it all, don't you? 182 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,042 Thank you. I try. 183 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,010 Hi, Whitney. Pleasure, as always. 184 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,679 Uh, please excuse me. 185 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:31,082 I've got to run down to concessions and say my howdies 186 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,952 and, sadly, a couple goodbyes. 187 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,687 Jim, I'll see you in the booth. 188 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,523 Yes, you will, Art. [Chuckles] 189 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,292 So long, Art. 190 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,927 We should probably get going, too. 191 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,663 I want to show Jim the production booth 192 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,632 before I have to leave. 193 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,567 [Sniffs] Hm. 194 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,969 Sober, old-man breath -- good. 195 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,103 Let's keep it that way. 196 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:56,642 -Here are your benzos. -Shh, shh, shh, shh! 197 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,577 Take one during the sixth inning, and you should be fine. 198 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,379 No shakes, no crankiness. 199 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,849 And that's almost everything. 200 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,388 That's one tennis shoe. 201 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,923 It's my lucky sneaker. 202 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,725 I've had this in the booth with us 203 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:14,993 since we got to New Orleans. 204 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,663 So, what, is it, like, really expensive? Is that why it's good? 205 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,866 No. It's not -- It's not about the money. 206 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,403 I got these right before I met you -- 207 00:08:24,405 --> 00:08:26,905 before everything in my life started changing for the better. 208 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,707 So, I-I'm supposed to wear it? 209 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,742 No, you're not -- not supposed to -- 210 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,743 You know what? 211 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,015 Good luck. Whew! 212 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,284 Don't shit the bed. 213 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,285 I shall try. 214 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,022 So, I don't wear it? -Don't wear it. 215 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:44,990 Okay. 216 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:57,769 ♪♪ 217 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,104 [Sighs] 218 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,806 [Knock on door, door opens] 219 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,409 Are you ready to call a ballgame? 220 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,311 Ohh, ready as I'll ever be. 221 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,846 [Laughing] All right. 222 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:11,616 Hey, listen, Jim, I'm not usually one for spirits, 223 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,486 but the grounds crew chipped in 224 00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:17,389 and got me this bottle as a retirement gift, 225 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:20,992 and I would truly love to share a drink with you 226 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,428 as my way of passing the torch along. 227 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,130 Oh, Art, that's so kind. 228 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,065 Oh, but I -- no, I have to politely decline. 229 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,734 Oh, now. No, I never touch it when I'm on the clock. 230 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,036 It's just -- it's kinda who I am. [Chuckles] 231 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,105 What's one drink? 232 00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:37,942 And besides, you cannot deny a man his last wish. 233 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,410 Hmm? -Well... 234 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,745 Um... 235 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,748 Hm. 236 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,416 Oh, that -- that smells like good bourbon, too. 237 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,884 Bourbon, right? I don't... Mm. 238 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:50,689 ...know all the names of the -- of the drinks. 239 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,324 Jim: McCalpin working with two outs 240 00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:53,825 and a full count here in the top of the fourth. 241 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,427 And here comes a pitch. 242 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,162 Strike three swinging. My goodness. 243 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,198 Chillcut pathetically waved at that one 244 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,968 like he just recognized his ex-girlfriend across the bar, 245 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,636 didn't he, Art? -[Laughs] 246 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,237 Oh, that's great. 247 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,373 Straight zeroes across the board, folks. 248 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,809 Looks like fate has decided to give us a game 249 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,711 that we're gonna remember. 250 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,845 Stay with us, would ya? 251 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,247 [Laughing] Oh. 252 00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:18,316 That's a great call, Jim. That's real fun. 253 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,385 Yeah, I could tell you were a real baseball man. 254 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,722 Oh, Art, I am. I tell you, I just -- I love this game. 255 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,525 Oh, good. That's gonna work out just fine. [Both chuckle] 256 00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,793 And hey, how about McCalpin's arm today? 257 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,261 -What? -My G-- Hey. 258 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,130 He throws a no-hitter on your final game, 259 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,332 this stadium is gonna lose their minds. 260 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,934 -Wouldn't that be something? -Oh. 261 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,202 But, hey -- Shh, shh, shh, shh. 262 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,237 Let's just let that lie, shall we? 263 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,839 Of course. No, no, no. Say no more. 264 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,508 Hey! -[Laughing] All right. 265 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,209 I think this thing must be working. 266 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,978 It was a gift. -Oh? 267 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,114 From my friend Charles. He said it was good luck. 268 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,550 Yeah, that young friend of yours sure seems like a hard worker. 269 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,086 I tell you what, you lucked out. You picked a good 'un. 270 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,588 Oh, don't I know it. Don't I know it. 271 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,623 You know, they say they're all lazy and entitled, 272 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,158 but not Charles. 273 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,959 That's 'cause their fathers don't stick around. 274 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,227 -Is that right? -Mm. 275 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,763 I hadn't heard that about Millennials. 276 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,032 No. Millennials? I'm talking about the coloreds. 277 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:09,701 Oh. 278 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,238 You know, Art, I-I'm not sure I can remember the last time 279 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,507 I heard that term used, uh, uh..."coloreds." 280 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,443 Yeah, well, the term is antiquated, 281 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,745 but so am I. 282 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,915 Yeah, I just don't care for this PC nonsense. 283 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,852 It's like, what is this country coming to? 284 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:31,255 You know, they almost put a sand jockey in my seat. 285 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,457 Boy, howdy. 286 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,926 Bottom of the fourth, 287 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,630 and we have got a doozy on our hands. 288 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,937 Atlanta's got something cooking here 289 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,807 in the bottom of the eighth of this very special game. 290 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,876 And that ball is hit very right out to right-center field. 291 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:55,012 And, like Ben Affleck's depressing directorial debut, 292 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,450 that one is gonna be "Gone Baby Gone"! Mm! 293 00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:01,686 Burnett with the big bat puts Atlanta out in front 294 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,555 by a count of 4-0. -Yeah, but it's a shame 295 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,491 he had to do a bat flip there, isn't it, Jim? 296 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,894 Just another poor display of sportsmanship. 297 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,430 [Chuckling] Oh, I don't know, Art. 298 00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:13,631 Seems like a young man just enjoying himself 299 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,200 on the final game of the season to me. 300 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,601 Well, call me a purist, Jim, 301 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,103 but I-I say play the game the right way. 302 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,706 Well, that -- that really is important to you, isn't it, Art? 303 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,841 I mean, things being pure. 304 00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,910 Hernandez chops one to first, 305 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,245 and that will be... 306 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,247 out number three. 307 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,316 The ninth inning when we return, folks. 308 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,117 [Cheering] 309 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:37,188 Jim, let me ask you something, and feel free to say "no." 310 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,990 Oh, please. What can I do for you, Art? 311 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,993 Well, these next three outs may be the last of my career, 312 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,330 and I would just love to bring this one home on my own. 313 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,665 Would you mind? -Oh, no problem. 314 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:51,602 Well, appreciate it and mighty white of you, sir. 315 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,937 [Laughs] 316 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,406 Would you pardon me for just one moment? 317 00:12:54,408 --> 00:12:55,907 Mm! 318 00:12:57,478 --> 00:12:59,410 [Breathing heavily] 319 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,679 ♪♪ 320 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,014 [Groans] 321 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:08,619 ♪♪ 322 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,888 Whitney: Jim! 323 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:13,090 Can you believe this?! This is so exciting! 324 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:16,428 Art's last game, and McCalpin is three outs away from a no-hitter. 325 00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:18,763 Oh, my God. Is it a jinx if I say it, or just if you say it? 326 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,097 How does the broadcaster's jinx work? 327 00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,566 You know what -- I'm saying it. 328 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,701 I'm saying it! It's storybook perfect! 329 00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,304 National networks are doing live look-ins. 330 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,705 This is huge for me. 331 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,707 For you. For us. For baseball. 332 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:30,775 Most-- Mostly me. 333 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,043 [Giggles] 334 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,911 Are you drunk? 335 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,447 I started taking nips from your binoculars to calm my nerves, 336 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,915 but then when things started going so well, 337 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,450 it turned into a celebration. I mean... 338 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,586 [Inhales sharply] ...this is the kind of night 339 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,055 that careers are built on. 340 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,723 [Giggles] -Yeah, that's great. 341 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,159 Are you aware that Art is insanely racist? 342 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,195 Yeah. I mean t-that's why we're in such a -- such a hurry to push him out. 343 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:52,997 But the only way that Art will go quietly 344 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,000 is if we promise to hand the booth over to a "baseball man," 345 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,203 which is Art code for "a white guy." 346 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,004 [Giggles] 347 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,873 What are you telling me -- that I didn't really earn this job, 348 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,076 that I didn't actually beat out Raj? 349 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,011 [Laughing] Oh, no. Of course not. 350 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,412 I mean, Raj is the best! 351 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,948 I gotta go. 352 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,483 The -- The binocular whiskey's going right through me! 353 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,751 [Laughs, echoes] 354 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,753 [Door closes] 355 00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,156 ♪♪ 356 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,091 [Crowd cheering] [Muttering] 357 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,631 [Door closes] 358 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,632 Hey. 359 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,668 Did your boy steal my wallet? 360 00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:31,102 I -- Wha-- I'm sorry? 361 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,837 Well, I don't blame him. 362 00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,172 It was my fault for leaving it out when he was around. 363 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,175 [Chuckles] -You know -- I don't... 364 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:40,312 No, Charles didn't steal your wallet. Oh, really? 365 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,447 -Yeah. -How can you be so sure? 366 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:45,383 Uh, because Charles is the most honest and hardworking person 367 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,917 I've ever met in my life. -Oh. 368 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,787 I mean, I'm bringing him on as my producer next season. 369 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,923 Oh, a producer? Here? 370 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,724 Well, I won't let that happen. 371 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,726 Only real baseball men allowed in this booth. 372 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,528 We'll talk about it later. 373 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,896 Art, I -- 374 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,598 Boy, howdy, folks. [Pills clattering] 375 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,869 A big ARTlanta hello to our national viewers. 376 00:15:03,871 --> 00:15:06,204 Still zeroes across the board for New York. 377 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,106 Let's see if our boys can bring this one 378 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,408 on home for supper. 379 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,043 Folks, you know what's funny? 380 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,479 The younger generation, they always love 381 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,148 to talk about the elephant in the room, 382 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:21,419 the one thing best left unsaid in situations like this. 383 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:27,158 Call me a traditionalist, but I say let a sleeping dog lie. 384 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,693 I don't know, Art. Some conversations, though, 385 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,695 they really do need to be had. 386 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,732 I mean, some sleeping dogs, they need to get woke. [Pills clatter] 387 00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:36,100 Sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade. 388 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:39,036 This is not one of the times. It's a tradition. 389 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,506 Folks, som-- Yeah, but some traditions, shouldn't they die, Art? 390 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:44,508 For example, racism in this country. 391 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,977 Jim, now's not the time -- 392 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,313 Did you or did you not just recklessly accuse 393 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,314 my friend Charles of stealing your wallet? 394 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,516 Art? 395 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,918 -[Chuckles] -Hm? 396 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,921 Folks, what happened is, my wallet went missing, 397 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,658 and Jim's little friend was the only kid in the booth. 398 00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:01,660 Yeah, no, he means the only black kid in the booth, folks. 399 00:16:01,662 --> 00:16:03,662 Whitney: Oh, God. 400 00:16:03,664 --> 00:16:05,329 Oh, God. For the record, I happen to have a beautiful 401 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,066 relationship with the blacks. -Oh, my God! 402 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,334 Do you hear yourself anymore? I mean, are you joking?! 403 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,736 All right, cool off there, Sparky. 404 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,471 This Atlanta heat's got you beat. 405 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,274 Hey, Art, would that be your wallet? 406 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,410 -Well, whoopsie-doopsie! -"Oopsie-doopsie!" 407 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,012 Really? That's all you have to say for yourself? 408 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,280 Oh, my God! 409 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,483 Jim, uh, let's you and I agree to disagree 410 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,818 and get back to the game. No, how about we disagree to agree, Art? 411 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,321 Because, you know, I can't speak for all the people of color in this country. 412 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,757 I'm just one old white guy telling another old white guy 413 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:36,026 that we will not stand this kind of hatred anymore. 414 00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:38,096 [Jeering] Oh, my God! 415 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:41,866 Racism is the fist that's punching American right in its own dick, Art. 416 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,101 That's the conversation we really should be having. 417 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,571 Nobody cares about your stupid no-hitter. 418 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:47,905 [Bat cracks] 419 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,975 Oh, shit. There goes a no-hitter. 420 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,478 [Slurring] And here comes the pitch. 421 00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:57,314 Oh! It's in the dirt! 422 00:16:57,316 --> 00:17:01,385 And nobody cares, God damn it, because it's bourbon. 423 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:02,587 It's not even a baseball. 424 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,388 Shit. Why'd I spill that out? 425 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,424 [Sighs] There you are. 426 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,492 Brockmire, you -- -Wow! Hey, oh! 427 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:10,294 -Son of a bitch! -Hey! H-Hey! 428 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,595 Okay, okay! 429 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,664 I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. 430 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,968 You couldn't even stay sober for one game! Oh, I was sober. 431 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,836 I was definitely sober. I swear to God. 432 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,773 I'm not now, but I-I called the game sober. 433 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,809 -Then why?! -Why?! 434 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,746 Art -- I mean, he pretends to be "Cosby Show" Bill Cosby, 435 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,015 but he's actually "hide your drinks" Bill Cosby. 436 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,084 I mean, God damn it, I had to say something. 437 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,019 No! No, you didn't! 438 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:38,289 All you had to do was stay silent for three outs, 439 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,224 but you couldn't do that, could you? 440 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:43,294 I'm sorry. I am very sorry. I really am. I -- 441 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,630 Hey, at least Raj gets the job now. 442 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,298 Isn't that what you wanted? -No. 443 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,233 They won't hire Raj now 444 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,136 because it'll look like they're "caving to pressure." 445 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:56,975 And they needed a scapegoat for this televised pig fuck, 446 00:17:56,977 --> 00:18:00,244 [Voice breaking] and they fired me! 447 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,979 [Sobbing] 448 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,682 All right, just give me two of your best shots with that thing. 449 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,786 Come on. 450 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,994 [Dog barks in distance, hip-hop music plays on stereo] 451 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:21,398 ♪♪ 452 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,834 Charles, Charles, oh, my God. 453 00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:24,935 Look, look -- you're trending on Twitter. 454 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,937 #CharlesWalletJinx. 455 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:33,011 ♪♪ 456 00:18:33,013 --> 00:18:34,345 Oh, no. 457 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,681 [Bottles rattle] 458 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,050 ♪♪ 459 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:41,552 Uh, Charles? 460 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:44,155 Why does my apartment look like young, black Google? 461 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,390 You weren't supposed to be back this early. 462 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,826 Oh, well, when you shit the bed, you kinda have to find 463 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,361 a new place to sleep, and I did that. 464 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:54,565 Ooh, I took an ungodly dump on my hotel bed. 465 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:55,900 Figured I'd come on home early. 466 00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:58,603 What i-- What's going on in here? 467 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:01,105 I'm starting a few other podcasts. 468 00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,607 You did all this in the last 12 hours? 469 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:06,577 The last three months, actually. 470 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,112 Wow! 471 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,715 So, this is our staff, huh? 472 00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,183 Hey, Two Hands. 473 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,385 Hi, yes. Hi. 474 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,121 Do me a favor -- get me a Bloody Mary, please. 475 00:19:16,123 --> 00:19:18,222 My head is just pounding. 476 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,725 Uh, actually... 477 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:21,926 Jim, this is my team. 478 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,662 You can't be involved. 479 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,365 What do you mean, I can't be involved? Why not? 480 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,467 Well, it's called Gradient. 481 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,669 And it's a podcast media company. 482 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,939 It's gonna be podcasts by people of color... 483 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,008 for people of color. 484 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,545 Well, um, what about that guy? 485 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,681 Oh, that's Garret. 486 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,883 He's just cool. 487 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,486 -Well, I can be cool. -No, you can't. 488 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:53,358 Yeah, he's actually right. You can't be cool. Sorry. 489 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,826 Um, who the hell is that? 490 00:19:54,828 --> 00:19:56,461 This is Yvonne. 491 00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,697 She's my girlfriend. 492 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,231 Your girl-- You have a girlfriend? 493 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:02,666 And you didn't tell me about it? -I'm sorry. 494 00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,103 You were supposed to go to Atlanta and stay. 495 00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:07,238 What was I gonna do? I started my own thing. 496 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,574 Well, I didn't get Atlanta 497 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,775 'cause I was too busy sticking up for you! 498 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:13,444 I didn't ask you to do that! 499 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:18,115 If I was there, I would have told you 100% do not do that. 500 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,984 Art was on his way out. 501 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,652 What could you possibly have accomplished? 502 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,856 I was protecting you from racism, Charles! 503 00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:27,291 Woman: Ohhhh. 504 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,593 Mm, mm, mm. 505 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,895 It-- It's actually kinda cute. 506 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,197 I've heard enough out of you, Yoko. 507 00:20:32,199 --> 00:20:33,931 Actually, Yoko was a very talented, 508 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,133 avant-garde performance artist. 509 00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:37,001 I-I don't know what you are. 510 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:41,472 I experience racism every day. 511 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,075 I have to deal with racism before I deal with my morning wood. 512 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,277 It's something I'm used to. 513 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,746 I can handle it. 514 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,949 You experience racism one time, 515 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,752 and you flip out and throw everything away. 516 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,687 I threw every-- I did?! 517 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,490 You're the one who's jumping ship first chance you get. 518 00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,292 And I gotta tell you something, Charles, 519 00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:03,093 you would be nothing without me. 520 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,229 Without me, you would still be in Morristown. 521 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,765 Oh, that is absolutely true! 522 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:13,504 ♪♪ 523 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,106 All right, look, I want you and your friends 524 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,108 out of here right now. 525 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,876 I own this loft. 526 00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:19,877 Not you. 527 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:23,047 So, I'm gonna ask you to leave. 528 00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,584 Fine. 529 00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:28,719 [Scoffs] 530 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:31,255 ♪♪ 531 00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,857 I have to get some clean underwear. 532 00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:35,059 I wasn't kidding about that ungodly dump. 533 00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:37,295 ♪♪