1
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:47,546
Listen, la, la,
big city of dreams, baby.
2
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,648
You got Hollywood,
bel air,
3
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:53,052
silicon beach,
and Beverly hills, right?
4
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:56,255
Four of the wealthiest
neighborhoods in the country.
5
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:59,291
And then...
6
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,492
There's south central.
7
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,261
Now be honest,
all right,
8
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,229
when you hear the words
"south central,"
9
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:07,599
what do you think,
gangs, drugs, guns?
10
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,735
Well, then,
what the hell
11
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,305
are all these rich white people
doing here, hmm?!
12
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:17,609
You see, six blocks from one
of the most expensive colleges
13
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,080
in the country sits one
of the poorest neighborhoods
14
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,714
in the country.
15
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,650
And that's
where your boy grew up.
16
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,618
We got a family business.
17
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,254
More emphasis
on "family" than "business."
18
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,757
'Cause we always broke.
19
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,559
20 years ago,
my dad and uncle
20
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,594
started this gym
to keep kids out of gangs
21
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,196
and off the streets,
22
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,098
give them
some positive role models.
23
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,500
Then they got locked up
for bank robbery.
24
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,203
I believe
they call that irony.
25
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:47,239
That left me and my moms
to run this place on our own.
26
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,775
She done a whole lot of good
for this community,
27
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,610
but doing good don't really
pay the bills,
28
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,178
you know what I'm saying,
29
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,847
and the bank's about
to shut us down.
30
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,316
Over the years we kept
the doors open
31
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,750
with endless side hustles,
32
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,786
and that's where my boy
juice comes in.
33
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,489
We've been best boys
since I was a little jit.
34
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,657
Now juice?
He the plug.
35
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,392
You need anything,
he can get it.
36
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,862
Just don't ask him how.
37
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,198
Why you laughing?
Why you laughing?
38
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,435
But luckily
my girlfriend Alicia
39
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,737
has always been there
to get us back on track.
40
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,673
I mean, she don't know
she's my girlfriend yet.
41
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:25,310
She got a serious crush on me.
Like, serious crush.
42
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,846
She say she waiting
for a real man,
43
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,414
but if that's not me,
44
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,416
then why she been flirting
so hard?
45
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,218
Look at her!
Look how she looking at me!
46
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:36,321
Zoom in.
Come on, you see that, right?
47
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,925
So that's life in the hood.
48
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,327
I mean,
we don't have much,
49
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,429
but if I can keep
those gym doors open,
50
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:48,667
I can keep my little family
together, and really,
51
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,503
that's what it's all about.
52
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,772
Nah! I'm just fucking with you.
53
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,941
It's about
them dead presidents, y'all!
54
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:56,942
Get it!
55
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,950
I'm gonna kick your ass
so hard,
56
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,586
you're gonna be able
to give yourself a rim job.
57
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,855
You really wanna
go out like that?
58
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:13,625
South central, baby.
Yeah, think about it.
59
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,862
It's no game.
You in it right now.
60
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,298
- Let's go.
- I'm crazy.
61
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:25,304
I'm crazy! I'm crazy!
62
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,906
You will die today!
63
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,841
Now I apologize
for the language, y'all,
64
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,577
but this is the kind
of tough talk
65
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,512
you're gonna hear out
in these streets.
66
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,614
Now of course I could teach
y'all how to fight.
67
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,382
Give 'em a little one,
two, three, four.
68
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,750
But what's that gonna solve?
69
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,486
What I'm uniquely qualified
to teach y'all
70
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:45,424
is that sometimes your best
weapons are your words.
71
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,460
We're gonna put these down
and pick this up.
72
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,696
Words?
This is the mma class.
73
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,498
So stop being a little bitch
and let's fight.
74
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:57,369
Oh, okay, look at this guy.
Little hyped up.
75
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,503
Tone it down a notch.
76
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:58,503
You afraid to swing?
77
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:02,741
That's great.
I see what you're doing.
78
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,843
Nothing he says
can provoke me
79
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,379
because I am de-escalating
the situation.
80
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,414
I never thought I'd get
this close to a vagina
81
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,883
- until I was at least ten.
- -What's a vagina?
82
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,486
Look, I'm gonna tell you
one time and one time only.
83
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:18,423
You gonna sit your little ass
in that corner,
84
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,659
and I'm gonna count to three.
85
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,827
- One.
- - Three!
86
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,636
Whoo! Punched my dick!
Okay, listen!
87
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,505
Oh!
What you--
88
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,642
- time out, okay?!
89
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,510
What's up?!
This is my class!
90
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,280
I command y'all to sit down!
Sit down and listen to me!
91
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:44,283
- What about with my deep voice?!
- Hey!
92
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:50,355
Oh, that was an accident.
Y'all saw it was
an accident, right?
93
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,990
You, you, you.
You look like you know cpr.
94
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,892
Come on, white girl,
go ahead, do some magic.
95
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,527
Go, go, go, check his pulse.
96
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,062
What the heck
is going on here, del?
97
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,802
Listen, y'all don't ruin
this for me.
98
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,405
Just stay tight.
Hey, Alicia.
99
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,641
We're just wrapping up
our session on de-escalation.
100
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,310
He gonna be okay.
101
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,945
And that is how not
to get into a fight.
102
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,547
Oh, man! Whoo!
103
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,582
Watch out for the kid
with the curly hair.
104
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,951
-He is mean.
-It's not a joke, del.
105
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,621
I ask you to watch my class
for ten minutes.
106
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,623
He started it. Hey!
107
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,426
That's the dumbest shit I've
heard from anyone all day,
108
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,362
-and that includes juice.
-As promised, I got you a pair
109
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:33,465
of refurbished Jordans, okay,
and according to the shoefax,
110
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,634
I only got two people
wearing these shoes prior.
111
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,103
You realize you're
the adult here, right?
112
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,671
When you gonna start
acting like one?
113
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,941
Del, quit trying to get
my staff pregnant
114
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,010
and fix the damn air
conditioner!
115
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,945
Ain't nobody trying
to get her pregnant, ma.
116
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,014
-Mind your business.
-Just 'cause you fuckin' it up
117
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,882
don't mean you ain't tryin'.
118
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,751
Del, look at that thing.
119
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,553
It's gonna fall
and kill somebody.
120
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,021
You were gonna call
the repairman.
121
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,956
-That's your fault, mama.
-Oh, a rep--
122
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,025
you know what?
I'm trippin'.
123
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,661
Let me dip into
this discretionary fund
124
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,429
so I can pay for that shit.
125
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,665
You cannot give your own son
the middle finger.
126
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,900
Why not? I've already
tried the first two.
127
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,002
One, del,
get yourself out of bed
128
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,004
and go to school
before you flunk out.
129
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,107
Two, I'm not
gonna tell you again,
130
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:17,943
stop smoking weed
and playing video games.
131
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,645
No results,
so I'm gonna try three
132
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,647
and see what happens.
133
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,618
When the phone
get turned back on?
134
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,589
Dre's gym.
This is del speaking.
135
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,925
You have
a call from fulsom prison.
136
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,061
This call is timed
and monitored.
137
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,931
Yo, yo, yo, del!
It's your pops.
138
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,633
What you calling
here for, dad?
139
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,635
Did you not just say
"this is dre's gym"?
140
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:47,139
Who the fuck you think dre is?
It's me, nigga! It's me!
141
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:50,041
I can call
whenever the fuck I please!
142
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:53,478
Now, look, I know you
struggling and everything,
143
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,181
but, listen,
i might have a way to help you.
144
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,049
We've been getting along
just fine my whole life
145
00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,885
-without your help.
-Look, I know, son--
146
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,920
you have one more minute.
147
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,157
Fucking jail robot.
I ain't got time to be polite.
148
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:07,092
I know you are mad at me,
but listen,
149
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,561
I care about you,
and I care about your mama,
150
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,897
and I highly suggest if you
wanna keep that place open,
151
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,499
you get your skinny ass
down here and see me
152
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,535
before it's motherfuckin'
too late.
153
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:29,514
My boy!
154
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,017
You done came to see
your old man, huh?
155
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,819
Look, dad,
this is business, all right?
156
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,554
Let's not pretend
it's anything else.
157
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,022
You said you could help me.
I'm here to find out how.
158
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:40,759
You know what?
You smart. Just like me.
159
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,727
I'm nothing like you.
160
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,830
Okay, now look, look, look.
161
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,631
Now, I know i
wasn't in your life.
162
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,634
All right? But I wanna
make it up to you.
163
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:53,772
Okay? I wanna
make it up to you.
164
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,141
-Ba-dow.
-That's a pretty small box
165
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,510
to contain
my entire childhood, dad.
166
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,579
It's a gift
from my motherfuckin' heart.
167
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,917
What is this?
168
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,819
That's a Mr. potato head.
169
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,087
-A what?
-Look at that.
170
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,022
I knew you was
gonna love that.
Look at that.
171
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,924
You got the little eyes
right here,
172
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,826
then you got
the little nose.
173
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,895
Got a little comb
for the mustache.
174
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,163
This is some smart shit.
175
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,865
This is gonna teach you
some shit.
176
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,667
And he also got that,
just in case I got to lay
177
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:26,171
a couple motherfuckers down
up in here.
178
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,074
Look, dad, I'm an adult now.
179
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,709
Oh, so you too old to learn?
180
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:31,943
So I guess you
too old to learn
181
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,079
how to solve your little
bank problem, huh?
182
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,816
Look, what I meant to say
was this is great.
183
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,684
-This is amazing.
-Yeah, it is.
184
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,986
I'm gonna put it
right back in this box.
185
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,521
You know what?
Come here.
186
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:45,524
Come on. Come on.
Sit on daddy's lap.
187
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,559
- You said what?
- On my lap, nigga.
188
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,761
- Sit down on my lap?
- On your lap?
189
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,963
Yeah, get your ass
over here. Sit down.
190
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,899
Right here.
Sit right here.
191
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,001
I ain't gonna bite you, boy.
I'm your daddy.
192
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,737
-Okay.
-But the tickle monster might.
193
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,206
--See, this is what
I'm talking about.
194
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,308
You remember that.
I used to tickle you
when you was little.
195
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,876
Don't act like ain't
nobody tickled you.
196
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,279
When I was a kid!
I'm an adult now!
197
00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:09,881
All right, I got a little out
of hand with the tickling.
198
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,985
But I'm trying
to make up for 17 years
that I missed in your life.
199
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,721
Now, listen, you know me
and your uncle Leon--
200
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,024
come on--
me and your uncle Leon,
201
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,760
we in here
for bank robbery.
202
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:22,761
-Okay?
-Mm-hmm.
203
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,596
What you might not know
204
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:27,832
is that the police
didn't find the money.
205
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,138
I was planning on giving
that money to you and your mama
206
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,340
when I got out,
but your crazy-ass uncle Leon
207
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,976
done fucked around and got out
a couple nights ago,
208
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,978
so you gotta get out
and get that cash.
209
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,582
Wait.
How much money?
210
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,320
A million dollars.
211
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:52,624
And it's in this flop house
in the basement.
212
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,825
The money's in the wall.
213
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:57,796
Ooh-whee! Ooh!
214
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,264
No.
215
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,866
You just walked in here
and act like you didn't know
216
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,102
that I was your daddy,
now you gonna come with that,
217
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,606
"ooh-whee!" Fake shit!
218
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,740
Y-you--
219
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,944
and all that shit!
220
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,679
I'm sorry, I apologize.
221
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,781
Now the only way
you gonna get that money
222
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,750
is you gonna do
what I tell you to do.
223
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,885
-And you know that that is?
-What's that?
224
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,354
Let me read you
a bedtime story.
225
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:24,823
-Come on, dad--
-you gonna-- shut the fuck up
226
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,892
and let your daddy read you
a bedtime story, nigga.
227
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:31,763
This is a book here
is called
228
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,865
the long red train.
229
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:41,339
Okay, "there is a new cookbook
in the cafeteria.
230
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,042
Good morning,
little children students.
231
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,877
We have
a brand-new cookbook."
232
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,646
-Can you read it without--
-shut the fuck up.
233
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,848
I'm gonna read it how
the fuck I wanna read it.
234
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,082
-I'm your daddy.
-Okay.
235
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,318
"I hope you like
236
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,355
the gourmet feast
that I made."
237
00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,291
We get to the flop house,
we go to the basement,
238
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,094
we get the money, our lives
are set, yo, I'm telling you!
239
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,764
-We gonna be rich, man!
-No, I'm gonna be rich.
240
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,933
Ya'll get 5% each, depending
on how much work you put in.
241
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:13,071
What the hell?
What has happened to the ghetto?
242
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,906
Chipotle got a valet?
243
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,409
Come on,
it's the next street up.
244
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,344
But how does chipotle
got a valet?
245
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,781
They done put a coffee bean
where they shot your man.
246
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:30,455
Shit! They turned the flop house
into a frat house.
247
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:31,756
What are we gonna do?
248
00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:38,063
We get a drill, huh?
249
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:41,199
The same drills
that they dig
the subways with.
250
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,469
We dig straight
to the basement
El chapo style.
251
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,304
Right?
Then we grab the loot.
252
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,740
That's the plot
from ocean's 13.
253
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,176
You right, scratch that.
I say we go in
with 17 monkeys.
254
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,445
-And a horse.
-That's planet of the apes,
man.
255
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:56,448
- So you seen it.
- You got problems.
256
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,883
Like, I worry about you
sometimes, juice.
257
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,785
Okay, all right,
all right, del!
258
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:04,055
We get crank and dede.
That's Friday.
259
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:13,131
I had a feeling
you'd be up here.
260
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,500
-Hey.
-What, you're not
gonna hit me, right?
261
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,802
Mmm...
262
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:21,840
So what are you doing
in my thinking spot?
263
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,074
Thinking.
264
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,979
What do you come up here
think about?
265
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,015
Honestly, thinking about
what I'd do with the money.
266
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:33,251
Hmm. Let me do
your shopping list for you.
267
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,354
-One, sneakers, two, weed.
-Ohh...
268
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,989
That's two things.
That's it.
269
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,058
You really think
that's what I would do?
270
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,960
Give me a reason not to.
271
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:45,029
Okay, listen, honestly,
272
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,531
I'm not doing this
for myself, okay?
273
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:50,335
I'm doing it for my mom.
This place is like her life.
274
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:54,038
If I don't do something big,
then she could lose it all.
275
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,540
If you care so much about her,
276
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:59,010
why don't you ever do
the little things she asks?
277
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,780
The rats?
The showers?
278
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:06,518
That ac unit she's been
on your ass about
every single day?
279
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,088
If I get that money soon,
none of that even matters.
280
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,791
I can make this place
really special.
281
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,360
And if I got some money
left over, yeah,
282
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,896
I'm gonna budget in
some kicks and weed.
283
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,498
You thought
i was gonna leave that out?
284
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,133
-No, I didn't.
-Okay, good.
285
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,402
'Cause I got some right here.
You wanna smoke it?
286
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,037
-What is that?
-It's some weed.
287
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,139
It's a little, bitty weed.
You can barely see it.
288
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,975
Look.
289
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,277
What is wrong with you?
290
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:36,447
So what'd you come out here
to think about?
291
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,950
I'm trying to figure out
how we're going get into
292
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,152
that damn frat house
in the first place.
293
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,922
Don't worry.
294
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,590
I got a couple ideas.
295
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,092
Oh, no.
296
00:13:57,536 --> 00:14:00,438
Hello, sir, deputy fire Marshall
frank mckasky.
297
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,173
Do you have the ds-367
certification
298
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,908
on your fire-inspection
certificate?
299
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:07,212
You need a certification
on your certificate?
300
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,613
Move out of my way.
301
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,082
Do you know
how flammable these are?!
302
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,886
I smell smoke.
303
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,989
I see what's going on here.
304
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:17,989
Let me take a wild guess.
305
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,525
Took the batteries
out the smoke detector,
306
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,360
let the place burn down,
collect the insurance money.
307
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,162
Not on my watch.
Not on my watch!
308
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,030
-Yo, agh!
-Not on my watch!
309
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,000
Are you kidding me?!
310
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,436
Anybody here read the news?
Hmm? Of course not.
311
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,338
I'm surprised the lithium
battery on this thing
312
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,572
hasn't exploded yet.
313
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,875
This place is
a lot worse than I thought.
314
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:39,477
Somebody needs to take me
down to the basement right now!
315
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,346
Yo, what the hell
is going on?
316
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,414
Fire inspection.
I need you to take me down
317
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,950
to the basement right now,
check the foundation.
318
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,952
Yo, we had a fire inspection
a week ago, dog.
319
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:51,055
And you're lucky we didn't
shut you down then...
320
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:55,159
Dog.
321
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,196
If you're a fire inspector,
why does your little badge
322
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,632
say "guardia de seguridad"?
323
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:04,969
Budget cuts, motherfucker.
You know what?
324
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:07,972
I'm gonna go ahead and get
the fuck up out of here.
325
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,507
I'm confiscating this.
326
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,476
You, the fraternity letters,
that says "kox."
327
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,344
You might wanna change that.
328
00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:20,118
We just letting anyone
in the house now, huh?
329
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,152
That's my fault, man.
330
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,154
Think he took
your hoverboard.
331
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,556
Fuck.
332
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,397
I got it.
333
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,165
We rush the frat, bam.
334
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,167
Yep, that's what
I'm talking 'bout.
335
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:41,039
We get strapped, we get mean,
and we rush that motherfucker!
336
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,308
Excuse my friend,
ya'll, I'm sorry.
337
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,976
He's on drugs.
338
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,178
No, no, no,
i mean rush the frat.
339
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,579
It's rush week.
340
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,015
I'm gonna get in
by joining the fraternity.
341
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:53,117
That's what I'm talking about.
Keep it simple.
342
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,253
You're not a student.
343
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,255
-Juice.
-On it.
344
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,723
Got a guy that's gonna make
a fake ID
345
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,392
in a perfect name to fit
in the fraternity scene.
346
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,694
-Mm-hmm.
-Bam.
347
00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:04,662
But all those bros
have already seen your face.
348
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,564
You think they're not gonna
call you out on that?
349
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,200
--What's so funny?
350
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,069
-She don't know!
-She don't know.
351
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,438
-She's light-skinned.
-She don't know!
352
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,473
-What? What?
-Alicia, Alicia.
353
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,442
You know so little
about white people.
354
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:20,511
-So little.
-They are terrified
of being called racist.
355
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,513
If a white guy sees
a brother they seen before,
356
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,115
they're not gonna be like,
"oh, my god!
357
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:28,086
Antoine? I-is that you?"
Because they don't want to look
358
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,287
like some good ol' boy
359
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,755
that thinks all brothers
look the same.
360
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,558
But how are you so sure they
want you in the first place?
361
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,061
See, these days,
they need at least one token.
362
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,696
-One.
-You think you're gonna be
363
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,565
the only minority
trying to get in?
364
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,567
What are you gonna do
about your competition?
365
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,003
-Let me show.
-Okay, you ready?
366
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,337
You ready?
Do it, do it.
367
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,573
-Action
-charm.
368
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,676
-No, that's not charm.
-That's not what we rehearsed.
369
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,045
All right, you say "action."
I'll do it then.
370
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,480
-Say action.
-I'm not saying "action."
371
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,249
- Charmed.
372
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,229
Greetings, gentlemen,
I'm here to rush.
373
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,200
Name?
374
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,069
Ah.
375
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:22,240
Chet buttersworth?
376
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,741
That's my name.
377
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,344
Head on in.
378
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,079
Next generation,
deep space nine...
379
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,681
No, that's an off-shore equity
hedge account, bro.
380
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,750
On there?
381
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,553
It's got several advantages
over javascript.
382
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,623
Nice to meet you.
Chet buttersworth.
383
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,225
Listen, don't you guys
find it a little odd
384
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,494
that they have
the white people over there
385
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:47,732
and... other people
right here?
386
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,467
We just sort of congregated
here by chance.
387
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,369
Chance, that's funny.
What's your name?
388
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,470
-Zack.
-Zack.
389
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,272
Kind of tall for an Asian...
390
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,540
6is what they're saying.
391
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,241
Me? I'm like,
"he's a human being."
392
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,644
You guys know about the theme
parties they had last year?
393
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:03,548
No? Okay, just to name a few,
"no-fly list."
394
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,316
"I've been working
on the railroad."
395
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,552
They want you to build a wall
outside, right outside the frat.
396
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,520
They're like, "he doesn't even
speak English."
397
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,224
I'm like, "he does
speak English," right?
398
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,626
Okay, guys, you could be
a part of the problem,
399
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,262
or you can be a part
of the revolution, yeah?
400
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,531
What do you guys say
we all come together?
401
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,167
Make it really explosive--
no pun intended--
402
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:23,167
and we fight this thing?
403
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:26,170
We're not gonna put up
with any racist bullshit.
404
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,772
We're gonna
take back the night.
405
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,607
Take back the night's
a women's movement.
406
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,709
Don't kill my momentum.
I'm on a roll right now.
407
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:36,414
Guys, new slogan just for you.
"Token is broken," cool?
408
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,217
Token is broken.
Token is broken.
409
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:42,353
Token is broken, march!
Token is broken, yeah!
410
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,589
Token is broken!
Come on, black lead the pack!
411
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,124
The Asian trailblazin'!
412
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,393
Whoever you are,
en espaņol! Andale!
413
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,829
Token is broken.
Token is broken.
414
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,365
Token is broken.
Token is broken.
415
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,767
Thank god
they're gone, right?
416
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,203
Don't worry, fellas,
I'm one of the good ones.
417
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,672
You know, I would say that
I'm slightly overqualified
418
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,408
for your organization,
but I play golf.
419
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:08,212
So, I mean,
you know, that's cool,
got a hole in one.
420
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,581
-I'm into Polo, both kinds.
- Mm-hmm.
421
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,550
Ultimate frisbee.
As I call it, ultimate frizz.
422
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,519
I was a captain of that
for four years straight.
423
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:18,189
Turned down hale.
That's Harvard and Yale.
424
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:18,189
Yeah, wow.
425
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:22,627
So what do you think?
Pretty good group this year.
426
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:26,330
Yo, I think I know that guy.
427
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,832
Didn't he, like,
come through here
428
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,334
trying to pretend
to be a fire inspector
or some shit?
429
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,336
Which g--
430
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,872
oh, come on man,
that's not okay.
431
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:34,872
What's not okay?
432
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,642
You're basically
saying that all
433
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,810
black people
look the same to you.
434
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,413
That's like
the litmus test for racism.
435
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,948
Wha-- I'm not
saying that, man.
436
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,883
I'm saying that's the same
black person
437
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,852
who came through here
and stole Eddie's hoverboard.
438
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,720
Oh, and now
he's a thief, hmm?
439
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,322
Will you listen to me, man?
440
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,524
I'm the least racist nigga
you know!
441
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,900
That was out of context, fam.
442
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,804
Like you never
said it, Roger!
443
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,708
What are you thinking?
444
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,244
Fraternities get sued over this
kind of stuff all the time.
445
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:16,480
Sued for what, man?
He ain't got no damages.
446
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,716
You know me.
How could I hate black people?
447
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,419
-I ride the bus.
-Oh, my god.
448
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,887
Don't talk near him.
449
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,289
You're missing the point, man.
That guy's up to something.
450
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,992
So you give him a bid
if you want, that's cool.
451
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,927
But I'm gonna find out
what it is.
452
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:33,931
Just stop saying the--
the "n" word.
453
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,768
What are you doing?
454
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,003
I've been working
on my signature move.
455
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,506
From the ropes?
What is this? Ufc or wwe?
456
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,008
- Are you ready?
- Uh, yeah.
457
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,344
Really? Because the last time
you stepped in this ring,
458
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,679
you got your ass handed to you
by a bunch of little kids.
459
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:52,416
Ooh, with all due respect,
you're like half my weight.
460
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,552
Come on,
buy me dinner first!
461
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,624
Oh! Wait, is this supposed
to hurt or feel good?
462
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,425
Like, what are we--
okay, okay, okay.
463
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,027
-Say uncle.
-You love me?
464
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,396
You said you love me?
I can't hear.
465
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,266
Goddamn it, del, if you
really wanna please a woman,
466
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:12,870
why don't you please me
and fix the fucking ac unit?
467
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:16,440
All right, ma.
Show me that move one more time.
468
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,909
I'm not gonna ask
you again, del!
469
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:22,980
So you got rid
of your competition.
470
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,549
Sounds like you impressed 'em.
What happens now?
471
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,918
Now all we can do is wait
and hope that my good looks
472
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,488
and charm along with their
white guilt and fear of lawsuits
473
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,423
is enough to get me in.
474
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,325
All right, come on,
one, two.
475
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:37,928
Yo, I can't believe
we're giving this guy a bid.
476
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,399
Are you guys sure this is it?
Most freshman live in the dorms.
477
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,000
I told you there was
something about this guy.
478
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,536
-So it's off-campus.
-Off-campus?!
479
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,904
This is the ghetto, man.
480
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:49,340
Technically,
we also live in the ghetto.
481
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:50,741
True, but that's
the good ghetto.
482
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,043
This is like
the ghetto-ghetto.
483
00:21:52,045 --> 00:21:53,911
Wow, and I thought
you didn't have
484
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:56,480
- a problem with black people.
- Oh, you c--
485
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,083
that's not fair, all right?
486
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:02,320
I am drawing
an economic distinction,
not a racial one.
487
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:04,922
Granted, but given
the racially charged history
488
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:07,325
of this country,
can we really separate--
489
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,459
guys. Hey!
490
00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:10,895
Enough!!
491
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,997
Let's all just agree
it's super confusing
492
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:16,500
being a white male
in today's society, okay?
493
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,969
Now... hoods up.
494
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,838
Oh, yeah.
495
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,877
Kappa Alpha chi or die!
Kappa Alpha chi or die!
496
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,679
Kappa Alpha chi or die!
497
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,649
Let's go!!
Let's go!!
498
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:34,985
Watching this movie
last night
499
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:37,655
made me mad
as a motherfucker.
500
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,490
Y'all have seen amistad?
501
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:40,858
Mm-hmm.
502
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,728
All right.
Shit was crazy.
503
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:46,664
Yo, check this out.
504
00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,399
What the fuck?
505
00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:06,917
Watch these niggas.
506
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:08,919
- Man, where is this shit?
- Can't get anything.
507
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,454
It's like the Internet
stops at this neighborhood.
508
00:23:10,456 --> 00:23:12,156
Are you sure
you wrote it down right?
509
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,625
Yeah, the address he gave us
was for that gym back there.
510
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,427
Yo, I told you
he was playing us.
511
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:19,397
No, don't jump to conclusions.
Let's just ask somebody, okay?
512
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:23,434
Oh, these guys look like
they know the lay of the land.
513
00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:26,971
Hey! Agh!
514
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:29,540
Evening, fellas.
Oh, gotta get low.
515
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:31,575
Low rider.
516
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:34,712
Uh, we think we might be
a little bit lost here.
517
00:23:34,714 --> 00:23:37,047
I'd say so.
518
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:40,718
Right? Wondering if you might
be able to help us out, though.
519
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,053
I think we might have
gotten the wrong address.
520
00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,756
We're looking
for a fella by the name
of Chet buttersworth?
521
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,958
African-American gentlemen.
522
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,994
Not that that means you would
necessarily know him,
523
00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:52,129
but not that it doesn't,
you know?
524
00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:54,832
Skin tone is sort of
right in between
525
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,101
you in the front
and you in the back.
526
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:59,670
Although with the shadows,
i can't totally tell.
527
00:23:59,672 --> 00:24:01,772
Um, what else,
what else, what else?
528
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,607
Uh, well,
we're here to kidnap him
529
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,876
as part of
our initiation ritual.
530
00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:14,018
Get the fuck out the 'hood,
cracker!
531
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:16,887
Run! Hey, hey, hey!
Everybody's running!
532
00:24:21,527 --> 00:24:24,862
Bam, okay, here we go.
Time to dance.
533
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:27,097
No, I'm working, stop.
534
00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:28,632
The work can wait.
535
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,535
It is time to play!
536
00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:31,535
Whoo!
537
00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:34,872
You're gonna get me fired.
You're gonna get me fired.
538
00:24:34,874 --> 00:24:36,674
I know the owner.
You good.
539
00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:37,942
-Look at you.
-Stop. Don't.
540
00:24:37,944 --> 00:24:40,511
Play, play, play, play.
And...
541
00:24:40,513 --> 00:24:42,680
Out of the chair she goes.
542
00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:45,015
And around and around
she goes.
543
00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:47,218
Now I'm gonna teach you
some dance moves.
544
00:24:47,220 --> 00:24:49,753
You're not taking it serious.
Start with the right.
545
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:52,523
You're gonna fall in love.
Look back there.
546
00:24:52,525 --> 00:24:54,792
-Look back at it.
Look back at it.
-I don't want to.
547
00:24:54,794 --> 00:24:56,961
Is this what they
do in the club?
548
00:24:56,963 --> 00:25:01,765
Let me see what you got.
Oh, yes! Look at you.
549
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:03,734
Now for my closer,
this is what I do.
550
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:07,872
One, two, three, four,
spin and grab.
551
00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:09,240
Hey!
552
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:14,111
-Let's go!
-I just wanna check.
553
00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:15,980
'Cause there's almost
certainly a pit bull.
554
00:25:15,982 --> 00:25:17,715
Who the hell is that?
555
00:25:17,717 --> 00:25:19,149
I got a pretty good idea.
556
00:25:19,151 --> 00:25:22,720
Wait here and don't get seen.
I will be right back.
557
00:25:22,722 --> 00:25:25,756
-That's not a house.
-I don't think any
of these are houses.
558
00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:27,691
- I just wanna kidnap somebody!
559
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:29,660
Hey.
Can I help you gentlemen?
560
00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,595
Hey, Chet, how are you?
561
00:25:31,597 --> 00:25:34,632
What's up, man?
You live here?
562
00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:39,069
I volunteer here.
Why you guys wearing klan robes?
563
00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:40,771
- No, no, no.
564
00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:43,073
No, see, our hoods are rounder.
They're not pointy.
565
00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:46,076
-This is eggshell.
-It's a different
shade of white.
566
00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:48,913
-Totally different.
-Totally different.
567
00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,981
And besides, you know,
our fraternity
568
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:53,684
actually pre-dates the klan
by over a decade,
569
00:25:53,686 --> 00:25:57,054
so the real question is
why are they wearing our robes?
570
00:25:57,056 --> 00:25:59,557
You know?
Why are they wearing our robes?
571
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,228
Yeah,
y'all wearing klan robes.
572
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:06,230
Okay, well,
agree to disagree.
573
00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:09,233
And, shifting gears,
congratulations!
574
00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:11,168
We're here because
kappa Alpha chi
575
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,836
is officially
giving you a bid.
576
00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:14,805
We're here to kidnap you
for initiation.
577
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:14,805
Ooh!
578
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:19,977
But, first,
quick order of business here.
579
00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:22,313
The university requires us
to get your signature
580
00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:24,148
on this consent form,
basically just says
581
00:26:24,150 --> 00:26:25,749
that you're
comfortable with us
582
00:26:25,751 --> 00:26:27,918
physically abducting you
for the initiation.
583
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,120
-Sign there.
-Okay, cool.
584
00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:32,122
And then initial here
for the robe.
585
00:26:32,124 --> 00:26:33,924
-Mm-hmm.
-Great, thank you.
586
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,092
And then down here
587
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:37,194
for the simulated
kidnapping language.
588
00:26:37,196 --> 00:26:39,763
-Sure.
-Which will be harsh.
589
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,298
-There we go.
-Perfect.
590
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,033
-Let's do this!
-Put this on.
591
00:26:43,035 --> 00:26:44,301
Whoa, o--
592
00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:46,670
-you gotta-
-where's that--
593
00:26:46,672 --> 00:26:48,372
-the head is right there.
-Give me your arm.
594
00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:51,041
- Here we go!
-All right!
595
00:26:51,043 --> 00:26:53,077
Looks good on you!
Red dress!
596
00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,613
Okay, yeah,
put the hood up here.
597
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,715
Yeah! Boom!
598
00:26:57,717 --> 00:26:59,917
We should probably, uh,
carry you to the car,
599
00:26:59,919 --> 00:27:03,053
if you're comfortable
with that, uh,
we'll just lift you up.
600
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:04,922
Yeah, sure, let's do it.
601
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,627
Support the back!
Support the back!
602
00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:10,828
Oh, you know what?
603
00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,197
We had a bit
of a thing out front.
604
00:27:13,199 --> 00:27:15,366
Is there a back entrance,
by any chance?
605
00:27:15,368 --> 00:27:17,735
-Yeah, right back there.
-Perfect, great, thanks.
606
00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:22,039
Let's go, motherfucker!
We'll fucking gut you! Whoo!
607
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:24,008
See?
It's just language.
608
00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,181
Well, well, well.
609
00:27:33,885 --> 00:27:35,886
Sorry, sorry.
Here you go.
610
00:27:35,888 --> 00:27:37,421
There's my wallet.
611
00:27:37,423 --> 00:27:39,957
Take that shit off.
612
00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:48,866
I got this.
613
00:27:50,735 --> 00:27:52,269
Hey, we all cool, man.
614
00:27:52,271 --> 00:27:56,073
We ain't trying to cause
no ruckus, you feel me, dawgs?
615
00:27:56,075 --> 00:28:00,744
I ain't feelin' shit, dawg.
The fuck are you?
616
00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:03,447
I'm Barack.
617
00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:05,115
Barack.
618
00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:09,019
-Like Barack Obama?
-Exactly.
619
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:13,791
Except my man spells it
a little differently.
620
00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:15,926
Spells it differently how?
621
00:28:17,796 --> 00:28:20,864
B-r-o-c-k.
622
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,900
That ain't no damn Barack.
That's Brock!
623
00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:25,335
The whitest fuckin' name
in the universe!
624
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:30,874
Grand dragon here
got a hearing problem?
625
00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:36,814
Is that fucking pillow case
worth your life, nigga?
626
00:28:36,816 --> 00:28:39,283
Just take it off?
Slide it off?
627
00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:40,951
-Yeah, we should--
-yeah.
628
00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:45,055
Del.
629
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:48,025
-Del?
-It's a neighborhood nickname.
630
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:50,894
Buttersworth del barrio.
They call me del for short.
631
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:53,030
What's up, trap, redbone,
Willis, what's popping?
632
00:28:53,032 --> 00:28:55,933
-What the hell
is you doin', man?
-It's not what it looks like.
633
00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:57,935
Looks like you've
got yourself caught up
634
00:28:57,937 --> 00:28:59,770
in some racist
fraternity bullshit.
635
00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:03,941
Oh, okay, well, then,
it's exactly what it looks like.
636
00:29:03,943 --> 00:29:06,276
But let's just chill
with the burners and stuff, man.
637
00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:08,746
No need to get mad.
Just trying to do a little thing
638
00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:11,181
with my white friends here.
Don't take offense to it.
639
00:29:11,183 --> 00:29:12,449
The closest they ever been
to a black man
640
00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:15,986
-is retweeting kanye, so...
-That's us.
641
00:29:15,988 --> 00:29:17,221
Del.
642
00:29:17,223 --> 00:29:19,890
Okay, Eddie.
643
00:29:23,862 --> 00:29:26,330
How can I say no
to dre's son?
644
00:29:26,332 --> 00:29:27,331
All right.
645
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:28,866
But you boys best
be on your way
646
00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:30,768
before you run
into somebody a little--
647
00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:34,905
less understanding than me.
648
00:29:34,907 --> 00:29:38,842
Yeah, okay, it was super
nice meeting you, guys.
649
00:29:38,844 --> 00:29:42,312
Yeah, and sorry for assuming
about the wallets, no offense.
650
00:29:42,314 --> 00:29:47,284
Oh, no, we're still gonna
need those wallets.
651
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,488
Listen up, scumbags!
652
00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:53,824
We about to see
who has what it takes
653
00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:57,561
to become
a kappa Alpha chi brother.
654
00:29:57,563 --> 00:29:59,263
Whatever you think
is about to happen,
655
00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:02,099
I promise you,
it's worse.
656
00:30:02,101 --> 00:30:05,269
As your pledge master,
I'm--
657
00:30:05,271 --> 00:30:09,339
eyes down! No eye contact!
Look at me! Look at him!
658
00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:11,475
Look at me! Look down!
Never look at me.
659
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:13,977
You're not on my level.
660
00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:17,181
I'm gonna make sure
you weak fledglings
661
00:30:17,183 --> 00:30:20,317
are run through
that gauntlet...
662
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,352
So you're properly
prepared...
663
00:30:26,324 --> 00:30:31,495
For a lifelong brotherhood
built on booze...
664
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:33,831
That pussy...
665
00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:36,099
And general
kick-assedness!
666
00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:44,908
-First thing you slaves
are gonna do is--
-trigger warning.
667
00:30:47,946 --> 00:30:49,146
Sidebar.
668
00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:54,918
Man, what the fuck, I was--
669
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,956
I'm not sure we should call
the pledges slaves this year.
670
00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:01,124
But we always
call them slaves.
671
00:31:01,126 --> 00:31:03,460
I know, but...
672
00:31:03,462 --> 00:31:06,463
Don't you think this year
feels little different?
673
00:31:06,465 --> 00:31:09,900
You guys talking
about the slave thing?
674
00:31:09,902 --> 00:31:13,237
Yeah, I've always felt a teensy
bit uncomfortable about that.
675
00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:15,372
Yo, the word "slave"
doesn't necessarily
676
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:18,008
have to refer to, like,
civil war-era black slaves.
677
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:20,310
In fact, it's actually derived
from the white slavic people
678
00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:22,446
who were taken as slaves
in the ninth century.
679
00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:24,548
But that doesn't change the fact
that in this day and age,
680
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:27,217
the word "slave"
is a racially charged term
681
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,987
that harkens back
to a truly disgraceful period
682
00:31:29,989 --> 00:31:31,622
in this nation's history.
683
00:31:31,624 --> 00:31:35,392
True, but isn't it more racist
to change our traditions
684
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:37,461
simply 'cause we got
a black pledge?
685
00:31:37,463 --> 00:31:40,163
I am so glad we're finally
having this discussion.
686
00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:43,166
Let me talk to him.
687
00:31:43,168 --> 00:31:45,302
-I-I'll talk to him.
-You go talk to him.
688
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,909
-Hey, man, how's it going?
-So far, so good, thank you.
689
00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:55,512
Listen, just wanted
to check in with you.
690
00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:57,381
Some of the guys
seem to pretty set on
691
00:31:57,383 --> 00:32:00,317
referring to the pledges
as slaves.
692
00:32:00,319 --> 00:32:04,154
And I just sort of wanted to get
your take on that as a, um--
693
00:32:04,156 --> 00:32:06,990
well, I just wanted
to get your take.
694
00:32:06,992 --> 00:32:09,092
Keeping in mind
that when we use the term,
695
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,929
we in no way mean,
you know, 19th century,
696
00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:14,264
cotton-picking slaves.
697
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,667
Just sort of a fake term
of subservience.
698
00:32:16,669 --> 00:32:19,069
Yeah, listen,
i understand
that I'm a pledge,
699
00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:21,471
and there's certain things
that come along with that,
700
00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:23,140
but there's gonna be
a problem
701
00:32:23,142 --> 00:32:24,641
if you guys
are calling me slave.
702
00:32:24,643 --> 00:32:28,145
Say no more.
Nope.
703
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:30,447
Okay, then!
704
00:32:33,352 --> 00:32:39,523
First thing you pledges
are gonna do is...
705
00:32:39,525 --> 00:32:42,159
Get down on your hands
and knees...
706
00:32:46,564 --> 00:32:49,132
And clean the house
with toothbrushes.
707
00:32:53,973 --> 00:32:55,372
Amazing,
this whole time,
708
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:57,174
I'm thinking it's
gonna be a lot worse.
709
00:32:57,176 --> 00:32:58,608
Like shaving
each other's balls,
710
00:32:58,610 --> 00:33:00,210
or like you guys
branding us with irons,
711
00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:03,280
or making us jerk off
with hot sauce.
712
00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:05,048
But cleaning the house
with a toothbrush?
713
00:33:05,050 --> 00:33:06,183
I'll do that no problem.
714
00:33:06,185 --> 00:33:08,318
No problem, huh?
All right.
715
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,021
This your toothbrush.
716
00:33:11,023 --> 00:33:14,024
-Okay.
-What do you think's
gonna happen?
717
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:18,462
Oh, hey, little Princess.
Wanna see the cave of treasures?
718
00:33:18,464 --> 00:33:20,731
Oh...
719
00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:22,132
Oh, there she go!
720
00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:24,735
Oh, he's down there!
Oh!
721
00:33:24,737 --> 00:33:27,671
-That tickles a little.
-What is wrong with you?
722
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:32,342
Oh, it's got the tongue scraper.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
723
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,344
-That's yours now.
-Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh!
724
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:37,180
Yeah, let's comb your mustache.
Come on now.
725
00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:38,482
You're gonna clean with it,
pledge!
726
00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:40,650
I'm not gonna cl--
727
00:33:40,652 --> 00:33:40,650
you take it!
728
00:33:40,652 --> 00:33:44,588
You smell that?
Smell your own shit.
729
00:33:44,590 --> 00:33:47,157
Guys, any of y'all want me
to clean the house with this?
730
00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:48,258
-No.
-Absolutely not.
731
00:34:02,273 --> 00:34:03,774
Pledge buttersworth.
732
00:34:05,309 --> 00:34:06,510
Yo, buttersworth.
733
00:34:06,512 --> 00:34:08,345
Oh. Yo, what's up, Brock?
734
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:10,213
What's up, man!
Come with me.
735
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,116
I got a special assignment
for you.
736
00:34:13,118 --> 00:34:15,752
Okay, after you.
737
00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:17,054
Okay.
738
00:34:18,589 --> 00:34:21,358
Now, most times,
this area is
for brothers only.
739
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,294
It's off-limits
to lowly pledges
such as yourself
740
00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:26,696
without a proper escort.
741
00:34:26,698 --> 00:34:29,299
Ugh, what is that smell?
742
00:34:29,301 --> 00:34:32,436
That smell could be
a number of things.
743
00:34:32,438 --> 00:34:37,674
Could be beer or pussy,
ball sweat, rat shit.
744
00:34:37,676 --> 00:34:41,845
Or could be the Chad snyder
memorial hot tub.
745
00:34:43,148 --> 00:34:45,148
Mm, take it in.
746
00:34:45,150 --> 00:34:47,551
Definitely that.
747
00:34:47,553 --> 00:34:50,787
What is-- what is that?
748
00:34:53,292 --> 00:34:55,158
Brother snyder was one
of the best of us,
749
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,526
house president,
750
00:34:56,528 --> 00:34:58,495
majoring
in international relations,
751
00:34:58,497 --> 00:35:02,299
2.8 grade point average,
captain of the swim team.
752
00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:06,136
-He died in this thing?
-Yeah, he drowned, mm-hmm.
753
00:35:06,138 --> 00:35:09,773
As the legend goes,
brother snyder
754
00:35:09,775 --> 00:35:11,808
was found in a fetid pool
of hot tub water,
755
00:35:11,810 --> 00:35:14,511
jell-o shots,
and a lot of vomit.
756
00:35:14,513 --> 00:35:17,180
Oh, s-smells like you haven't
changed the water since.
757
00:35:17,182 --> 00:35:18,815
- Of course we haven't.
758
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,851
That would disgrace
our fallen brother.
759
00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:23,186
-Of course.
-Look, buttersworth,
760
00:35:23,188 --> 00:35:26,123
I tried to give you
a dirty toothbrush before,
761
00:35:26,125 --> 00:35:28,425
and I'm sorry about that,
okay, that was not cool of me.
762
00:35:28,427 --> 00:35:30,861
-It wasn't.
-So I got you a fresh one.
763
00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:33,597
My man.
764
00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:36,333
Uh-oh!
I'm so clumsy.
765
00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:39,169
But go ahead and get that
for me, playa.
766
00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:40,270
Whoo!
767
00:35:40,272 --> 00:35:41,404
You-- you're evil.
768
00:35:41,406 --> 00:35:45,842
Oh, shit, come on,
buttersworth!
769
00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:48,345
Oh, shit.
Oh-- oh!
770
00:35:48,347 --> 00:35:51,314
Son of a bitch.
771
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:53,283
Fuck, buttersworth!
Settle down, man!
772
00:35:53,285 --> 00:35:55,852
Just get the toothbrush
and clean it!
773
00:35:58,423 --> 00:36:02,192
- Dig deep!
774
00:36:04,863 --> 00:36:07,430
Son of a bitch!
775
00:36:07,432 --> 00:36:10,367
I hate my life.
776
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:14,437
You want me to start--
start from the bottom?
777
00:36:14,439 --> 00:36:15,739
Just start cleaning.
778
00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:19,676
You was so close
to the money!
779
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:23,480
Yo, he didn't leave.
He was watching the whole time.
780
00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:25,315
So what else they have you do?
781
00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:26,283
Did you have to do
the elephant walk?
782
00:36:26,285 --> 00:36:27,817
What's the elephant walk?
783
00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:29,719
When you put one thumb
in the guy's asshole
784
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:31,922
in front of you and then
the other thumb in your mouth,
785
00:36:31,924 --> 00:36:34,324
and when they yell "switch!,"
you switch.
786
00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:36,326
So basically,
you eat an ass-icle.
787
00:36:36,328 --> 00:36:38,495
It's an urban legend.
788
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:41,598
Man, I ain't eating no ass-icle.
I'm done with this, I'm out.
789
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,634
You can't put up with it
a little longer?
790
00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:47,370
-It's a lot of money.
-And if my vote
count for anything,
791
00:36:47,372 --> 00:36:49,539
I say we stay
on this particular project.
792
00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:52,776
We? Juice, ain't no we, bro.
It's been me!
793
00:36:52,778 --> 00:36:55,312
Me in the frat house,
me digging through some puke
794
00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:55,312
trying to find
a fucking toothbrush,
795
00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:57,647
and what, you saying
the elephant walk next?
796
00:36:57,649 --> 00:36:58,915
I ain't doing that, bro.
797
00:36:58,917 --> 00:37:00,817
We make one wrong move,
they call the cops.
798
00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:03,687
Who go to jail, you, Alicia?
No, it's me.
799
00:37:03,689 --> 00:37:07,324
Me in the cell next to my dad,
family reunion in folsom.
800
00:37:07,326 --> 00:37:08,925
I ain't no criminal
like my father.
801
00:37:08,927 --> 00:37:11,294
I've been doing this.
Ain't no progress.
802
00:37:11,296 --> 00:37:14,664
Let's face it, man,
we not getting nothing
out that house.
803
00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:17,367
Did I just hear
the son of Andre goodlow
804
00:37:17,369 --> 00:37:18,868
decide to give up?
805
00:37:18,870 --> 00:37:20,637
Oh, shit.
806
00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:23,473
Uncle Leon.
807
00:37:23,475 --> 00:37:25,375
I know that's not how
my brother raised you.
808
00:37:25,377 --> 00:37:27,377
I'm pretty sure you're
not supposed to be out of jail
809
00:37:27,379 --> 00:37:29,512
for at least one,
two hundred years.
810
00:37:29,514 --> 00:37:33,383
I decided it was time
to make some lifestyle changes.
811
00:37:33,385 --> 00:37:34,951
You broke out of prison?
812
00:37:37,455 --> 00:37:38,822
Leon goodlow?
813
00:37:38,824 --> 00:37:42,626
Am I seeing a ghost,
or is that just
wishful thinking?
814
00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:44,327
Is that my best girl,
Roberta?
815
00:37:44,329 --> 00:37:45,929
I ain't a girl,
and I ain't yours.
816
00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,698
What the fuck
are you doing here, Leon?
817
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,800
Maybe I'm here
to finally charm your ass
818
00:37:50,802 --> 00:37:53,837
into doing what we should've
done a long time ago.
819
00:37:53,839 --> 00:37:57,307
I'll remind you that
I'm a good, Christian,
married woman.
820
00:37:57,309 --> 00:37:59,542
Not like dre's turning down
dick in prison.
821
00:37:59,544 --> 00:38:01,278
-Why should you?
-What?
822
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,446
I'm gonna give you a moment
to think long and hard
823
00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:03,446
before you say
any other nasty shit.
824
00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:07,684
You don't want me to call
the police on your fugitive ass.
825
00:38:07,686 --> 00:38:09,352
-Oh, you would do that?
-Oh, I would.
826
00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:14,591
What you gonna tell them
about what your boy's got into?
827
00:38:14,593 --> 00:38:17,494
-Whatcha you been up to, del?
-Nothing!
828
00:38:17,496 --> 00:38:19,729
You just believe him
just like that?
829
00:38:19,731 --> 00:38:22,332
-Gimme a reason not to.
-He's a liar?
830
00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:23,633
-He's a felon?
-Yeah.
831
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,935
You know what, ma,
you got so much
on your plate.
832
00:38:25,937 --> 00:38:28,371
I'm gonna handle this since
I'm the man of the house now--
833
00:38:28,373 --> 00:38:30,540
-since when?
-I'm-- I'm really--
834
00:38:30,542 --> 00:38:32,942
-juice, shut up.
-Ma, I'm sorry.
835
00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:37,013
Just please, please,
I'm begging,
let me handle this.
836
00:38:37,015 --> 00:38:40,383
All right,
I'll let you handle it.
837
00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:41,818
-Okay.
-But if I find out
838
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,654
you been up doing anything
to bring shame on my household,
839
00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:48,391
del, you will no longer be
a part of that household.
840
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:49,492
You got me?
841
00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:52,962
-Yes, ma'am.
-Out on your ass.
842
00:38:52,964 --> 00:38:55,932
-Can-- can i--
-shut your mouth, juice.
843
00:38:55,934 --> 00:38:58,868
Leon.
844
00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:01,371
Roberta.
845
00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:07,577
So, y'all get my money yet?
846
00:39:07,579 --> 00:39:09,946
- Money?
-What?
847
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:13,049
-Money?
-What is he talking about?
848
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:15,452
-I know I'm broke.
-I got, um--
849
00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:18,355
-i got chapstick.
-You could use some.
850
00:39:18,357 --> 00:39:20,390
The bottom lip
a little ashy.
851
00:39:20,392 --> 00:39:22,492
Yeah, okay, okay,
i get it.
852
00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:24,527
See, you hang
with stupid,
853
00:39:24,529 --> 00:39:26,896
so you assume
everybody's stupid.
854
00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:27,931
But not me.
855
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:30,934
See, after
i attained my freedom,
856
00:39:30,936 --> 00:39:33,803
I drove by the old place
where me and your father
857
00:39:33,805 --> 00:39:37,040
stashed our money,
and guess what?
858
00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:41,544
They turned that shit
into motherfucking fraternity!
859
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,912
-Really?
-Yeah!
860
00:39:42,914 --> 00:39:45,448
-Wow.
-Now that was a surprise.
861
00:39:45,450 --> 00:39:47,884
-But you know what was a shock?
-What's that?
862
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:50,854
When I saw
my ghetto-ass nephew
863
00:39:50,856 --> 00:39:54,791
walking out of that fraternity
like he fucking belonged there!
864
00:39:54,793 --> 00:39:57,594
Uh, me?
Oh, y-- oh, yeah!
865
00:39:57,596 --> 00:40:00,397
It slipped my mind,
i had went back to go to school
866
00:40:00,399 --> 00:40:01,765
and the guys was cool,
867
00:40:01,767 --> 00:40:03,600
but there's money
in the basement?
868
00:40:03,602 --> 00:40:05,568
I didn't know
there was money there.
869
00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:08,538
Okay, let me
get this straight.
870
00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:11,474
Okay?
Just to make it clear.
871
00:40:11,476 --> 00:40:14,978
You got all studied up
on your sats and shit.
872
00:40:14,980 --> 00:40:16,913
Yeah, I did get
an 800 on my sats.
873
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:19,015
It's out of 1,600,
motherfucker.
874
00:40:19,017 --> 00:40:22,051
I'm gonna take
the second half later.
875
00:40:22,053 --> 00:40:24,821
Then magically,
you came up with the money
876
00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:27,791
to attend one of the most
expensive-ass schools
877
00:40:27,793 --> 00:40:30,794
in the country,
and then on a whim
878
00:40:30,796 --> 00:40:33,563
joined a fraternity
that just so happened
879
00:40:33,565 --> 00:40:35,965
to be at the same address
as the place
880
00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:39,536
where we stashed our
money after the bank job?!
881
00:40:39,538 --> 00:40:41,471
Is that right?!
882
00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:44,207
You know what?
This the problem.
883
00:40:44,209 --> 00:40:46,576
This exactly why
young black men can't achieve
884
00:40:46,578 --> 00:40:48,711
greatness in this country,
because of the doubters.
885
00:40:48,713 --> 00:40:50,046
-Preach.
-The haters.
886
00:40:50,048 --> 00:40:52,081
This is the first goodlow
to go to college.
887
00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,851
You can't you be happy
for your nephew
for just one minute?
888
00:40:55,886 --> 00:40:58,855
Okay, but you gotta admit.
889
00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:01,090
That's a crazy coincidence,
ain't it?
890
00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:02,926
-Little bit.
-Yeah, it's crazy.
891
00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:05,462
-It's crazy.
-It's crazy.
892
00:41:05,464 --> 00:41:06,729
Where's my money, del?!
893
00:41:06,731 --> 00:41:09,499
Shit, okay, okay,
uncle Leon, just chill.
894
00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:11,234
If you gonna blast me,
then blast me,
895
00:41:11,236 --> 00:41:13,636
but that don't change the fact
that I don't got the money.
896
00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:16,573
-Oh, shit.
-Oh, okay. Okay.
897
00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:18,074
This your girlfriend?
898
00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:21,511
Nope.
899
00:41:21,513 --> 00:41:24,714
I mean...
She do be liking
900
00:41:24,716 --> 00:41:28,151
my pictures on instagram
late at night, so....
901
00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:31,120
You ever seen somebody
get they face blown apart, del?
902
00:41:31,122 --> 00:41:32,789
I have.
903
00:41:32,791 --> 00:41:34,991
Now ask yourself,
do you want this
904
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:38,828
to be the last memory
of this girl right here?
905
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:43,266
'Cause that shit that
sticks with you, believe.
906
00:41:43,268 --> 00:41:44,968
All right, look, I've--
907
00:41:44,970 --> 00:41:46,936
I've been trying
to get the money.
908
00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:49,272
But it hasn't been easy.
I'm pledging the house.
909
00:41:49,274 --> 00:41:51,774
But these guys, they're intense,
you know what I'm saying?
910
00:41:51,776 --> 00:41:53,977
They never go to sleep,
but I'm real close.
911
00:41:53,979 --> 00:41:56,613
Just gimme a few more days,
and I'll have your money.
912
00:41:56,615 --> 00:41:58,248
I just need more time,
all right?
913
00:41:58,250 --> 00:42:02,685
All right, I'll give you
two days to do your thing.
914
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:04,153
Two days and two nights
or just a flat--
915
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:04,153
-two days!
-All right.
916
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:08,758
If you don't get it, I'm gonna
go in there my damn self.
917
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,629
Maybe your way,
those kappa gamma bitches
918
00:42:12,631 --> 00:42:14,264
won't get they dicks
shot off.
919
00:42:14,266 --> 00:42:15,732
-Oh.
-Hmm?
920
00:42:15,734 --> 00:42:17,700
Now I'm gonna go in here
921
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:20,570
with your sexy-ass momma
922
00:42:20,572 --> 00:42:25,041
and see if she make me some
of her world-famous sassy eggs.
923
00:42:25,043 --> 00:42:26,709
Come on, man.
924
00:42:34,585 --> 00:42:35,818
What, juice?
925
00:42:35,820 --> 00:42:37,820
Does this affect my 5%?
926
00:42:48,832 --> 00:42:52,569
Alcohol! Alcohol!
927
00:42:52,571 --> 00:42:56,239
My baby brought me a beer!
That's a good baby!
928
00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:58,708
He looks like me
a little bit, right?
929
00:42:58,710 --> 00:42:59,909
--Suck it.
930
00:42:59,911 --> 00:43:02,111
- Suck it!
931
00:43:05,749 --> 00:43:08,885
Okay, so my thing
is I can always tell
932
00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:11,588
when they don't use
real dinosaurs in movies.
933
00:43:26,971 --> 00:43:29,906
-Pledge buttersworth!
-Oh, shit!
934
00:43:29,908 --> 00:43:31,207
What are you doing
in here, man?
935
00:43:31,209 --> 00:43:32,942
You should be out there
with the other babies.
936
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:35,078
Yeah, I just wanna use
the bathroom real quick.
937
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,180
What do you think
that diaper's for?
938
00:43:39,884 --> 00:43:42,785
No, I'm just playing, no!
939
00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:44,621
But there's no bathroom
in there, man.
940
00:43:44,623 --> 00:43:47,156
That's the basement.
There's no need
to go in there.
941
00:43:48,859 --> 00:43:51,060
Listen, man, sometimes i
just need a place to think,
942
00:43:51,062 --> 00:43:53,730
like, clear my thoughts,
and I just thought down there
943
00:43:53,732 --> 00:43:55,398
would be best.
944
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,867
I get it, man.
945
00:43:57,869 --> 00:44:00,303
I know this hazing stuff
is exhausting.
946
00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:01,804
Yeah, so exhausting.
947
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:03,740
-Degrading.
-You got me in a diaper.
948
00:44:03,742 --> 00:44:05,808
I know it's silly, man.
949
00:44:05,810 --> 00:44:07,977
But once you make it
through this,
950
00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:10,680
we're brothers, family,
951
00:44:10,682 --> 00:44:15,118
tell each other secrets,
watch each other's backs.
952
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,688
So you gonna join
this family?
953
00:44:18,690 --> 00:44:21,224
Yeah, man.
I'm gonna do it.
954
00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:22,692
Okay.
955
00:44:22,694 --> 00:44:22,692
Right after
i hit this basement.
956
00:44:22,694 --> 00:44:26,796
Man, what you talking about?
Get out there with the babies.
957
00:44:26,798 --> 00:44:29,032
Come on, man!
Do the baby walk, though.
958
00:44:29,034 --> 00:44:32,201
Do that-- do that baby walk.
There it go.
959
00:44:32,203 --> 00:44:34,037
-Ay, hit it, work, yeah.
-Million dollars.
960
00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:35,672
Glad we had this talk, man.
961
00:44:35,674 --> 00:44:37,740
- Great talk.
962
00:44:37,742 --> 00:44:39,742
Listen up, babies!
963
00:44:39,744 --> 00:44:42,111
You may think
pledging is all diapers,
964
00:44:42,113 --> 00:44:44,280
binkies,
and verbal abuse...
965
00:44:44,282 --> 00:44:48,985
...but it's also about
giving back to the community.
966
00:44:48,987 --> 00:44:51,721
So our red hot bros
and filthy rich females
967
00:44:51,723 --> 00:44:54,190
charity gala is coming up,
and you dirtbags,
968
00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:58,094
along with our beautiful selves
are gonna be auctioned off
969
00:44:58,096 --> 00:45:01,264
to the highest bidders
from our sister sorority--
970
00:45:01,266 --> 00:45:04,200
-trigger warning!
-Whoa, whoa, t.W., t.W.
971
00:45:04,202 --> 00:45:05,702
What's that,
pledge buttersworth?
972
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:07,236
I'm sorry,
i just thought I heard him say
973
00:45:07,238 --> 00:45:09,906
that you guys were
gonna auction us off?
974
00:45:09,908 --> 00:45:11,974
Well, yeah, in order
to raise money
975
00:45:11,976 --> 00:45:13,843
for local charities,
you'll be auctioned off--
976
00:45:13,845 --> 00:45:15,845
-oh, I hear it now.
-Oh, shit, not again.
977
00:45:15,847 --> 00:45:17,780
Come on, man!
You can't be serious!
978
00:45:17,782 --> 00:45:19,816
Oh, I'm sorry, Brock,
if you and I have
979
00:45:19,818 --> 00:45:21,984
a slightly different reaction
to the idea of us being
980
00:45:21,986 --> 00:45:23,786
auctioned off
to rich white people
981
00:45:23,788 --> 00:45:25,822
outside
of a plantation house.
982
00:45:25,824 --> 00:45:28,825
Okay, let's bro-dle.
Hey, bro-dle.
983
00:45:31,795 --> 00:45:33,896
No way he's getting
out of this.
984
00:45:37,768 --> 00:45:39,836
Hey, look, I knew
a black guy growing up,
985
00:45:39,838 --> 00:45:41,037
and he was not like this,
man.
986
00:45:41,039 --> 00:45:42,972
You could say anything
you wanted to him.
987
00:45:42,974 --> 00:45:44,874
Yeah, he even
let me touch his hair.
988
00:45:46,845 --> 00:45:48,044
Okay, yeah.
989
00:45:48,046 --> 00:45:50,079
-Buttersworth?
-Yeah.
990
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:51,380
You don't have to be
auctioned off.
991
00:45:51,382 --> 00:45:52,949
We're gonna make you
the auctioneer.
992
00:45:52,951 --> 00:45:54,417
It'll be empowering!
993
00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:59,756
Yeah, yeah,
i guess that works.
994
00:45:59,758 --> 00:46:02,091
It's an affirmative auction.
995
00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:04,193
I am a master.
996
00:46:04,195 --> 00:46:06,796
I play white guilt like
Michael Jordan plays basketball.
997
00:46:06,798 --> 00:46:09,132
I'm talking like Stevie wonder
plays the piano.
998
00:46:09,134 --> 00:46:11,534
Okay, so you're
the auctioneer.
999
00:46:11,536 --> 00:46:13,369
-Mm-hmm.
-So what?
1000
00:46:13,371 --> 00:46:16,305
So since that I'm
in charge of the proceedings...
1001
00:46:16,307 --> 00:46:18,341
Don't mess this up, pledge!
1002
00:46:18,343 --> 00:46:21,043
...i can keep them busy while
you guys go look for the money.
1003
00:46:21,045 --> 00:46:23,379
Now, my great-great-great-
great-granddaddy
1004
00:46:23,381 --> 00:46:24,914
would love
to hear me say this.
1005
00:46:24,916 --> 00:46:26,249
Get your billfolds out
1006
00:46:26,251 --> 00:46:27,917
'cause we buying
white people today!
1007
00:46:27,919 --> 00:46:31,187
Yeah!
Make some noise!
1008
00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:33,055
First, we're gonna need
to figure out
1009
00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:34,924
a way to get
you into the party.
1010
00:46:34,926 --> 00:46:37,360
How about having tits
and a pulse?
1011
00:46:38,962 --> 00:46:41,197
That'll work.
1012
00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:44,133
Once everyone's outside,
juice, you're gonna slip
1013
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:46,803
into the basement
and make your move.
1014
00:46:46,805 --> 00:46:48,371
The longer I can keep
the auction going,
1015
00:46:48,373 --> 00:46:51,908
the more time it buys us
to look for the money.
1016
00:46:51,910 --> 00:46:53,376
Come on!
1017
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:56,846
I'll make sure the tools
are down there waiting for you.
1018
00:46:56,848 --> 00:46:59,248
- - Oh! Whoa.
1019
00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:02,485
Oh, y-- oh. Ah, yeah.
That's your spot right there.
1020
00:47:02,487 --> 00:47:06,856
Brother Clarke here is actually
an amazing impressionist.
1021
00:47:06,858 --> 00:47:09,192
-No.
-Yes, got some impressions
for us, don't you?
1022
00:47:09,194 --> 00:47:12,261
-I do not.
-Um...
1023
00:47:12,263 --> 00:47:13,863
Whoo!
1024
00:47:13,865 --> 00:47:15,898
You're a little tight.
1025
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:17,567
Okay, you--
you kinda like my ex.
1026
00:47:17,569 --> 00:47:20,269
It's kinda hard to find your
spot, but I'm gonna find you.
1027
00:47:20,271 --> 00:47:22,104
Why don't you try someone
that everybody knows?
1028
00:47:22,106 --> 00:47:24,273
Like Denzel Washington,
you know, put
your shoulders up.
1029
00:47:24,275 --> 00:47:27,109
"Okay, all right, huh?
What, are we at an auction?
1030
00:47:27,111 --> 00:47:28,244
What, are we gonna buy
white people?
1031
00:47:28,246 --> 00:47:29,512
That's what you telling me?
1032
00:47:29,514 --> 00:47:31,314
You telling me you gonna buy
white people?
1033
00:47:31,316 --> 00:47:33,950
What type of white people
are we gonna buy, huh?"
1034
00:47:33,952 --> 00:47:37,186
I don't think
i should do that.
1035
00:47:37,188 --> 00:47:39,255
And now let's get brother Ben
to the stage,
1036
00:47:39,257 --> 00:47:42,091
ladies and gentlemen, Ben!
1037
00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:44,927
Oh, come on, bro,
that's not cool.
1038
00:47:44,929 --> 00:47:48,531
What are you talking about, man?
Drawing dicks is always funny.
1039
00:47:48,533 --> 00:47:51,367
You ladies know our resident
sexpert, brother Eddie.
1040
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:53,903
I'd like to dedicate
this first move
1041
00:47:53,905 --> 00:47:57,273
to an invention that changed
the face of modern warfare...
1042
00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,307
And sexuality.
1043
00:47:58,309 --> 00:48:00,343
It's called the gatling gun.
1044
00:48:00,345 --> 00:48:02,478
It works best
if she's bow-legged.
1045
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,215
Am I right, Sarah?
Wink face.
1046
00:48:09,353 --> 00:48:11,888
Maybe Mike Tyson,
famous boxer?
1047
00:48:11,890 --> 00:48:13,990
"I got these--
i got these pigeons here.
1048
00:48:13,992 --> 00:48:18,027
And we put
these pigeons together
and we make them kiss."
1049
00:48:18,029 --> 00:48:20,062
Yeah, no,
definitely not that one.
1050
00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:21,998
I give you...
1051
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,599
The pinwheel.
1052
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,475
Do you know any comedians?
Do you know bill cosby?
1053
00:48:32,477 --> 00:48:34,977
I could maybe try that.
1054
00:48:34,979 --> 00:48:38,014
Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen,
bill cosby.
1055
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:42,351
"You see...
1056
00:48:42,353 --> 00:48:45,221
When...
She eats the pud-ding,
1057
00:48:45,223 --> 00:48:48,024
you put the quaaludes
in the pud-ding
1058
00:48:48,026 --> 00:48:49,492
and then she eats
the pud-ding,
1059
00:48:49,494 --> 00:48:51,694
and she gets sleepy
with the pud-ding.
1060
00:48:51,696 --> 00:48:53,996
And then you climb
on top of her
1061
00:48:53,998 --> 00:48:55,698
and you put
in your black penis--"
1062
00:48:55,700 --> 00:48:55,698
oh, no, no, no,
you d-- wha--
1063
00:48:55,700 --> 00:49:00,236
guys, um, Clarke,
anybody wanna bid on Clarke?
1064
00:49:00,238 --> 00:49:03,973
I'm through playing
motherfucking games with you!
1065
00:49:03,975 --> 00:49:06,475
Right now!
Done playing games, uh-huh!
1066
00:49:06,477 --> 00:49:09,011
Yeah!
You brought it on yourself!
1067
00:49:09,013 --> 00:49:11,447
- Okay, okay.
1068
00:49:11,449 --> 00:49:15,484
Oh! Oh, my--
these white boys got rats.
1069
00:49:15,486 --> 00:49:19,555
Are they keeping them as pets?
Where'd it go?
1070
00:49:19,557 --> 00:49:21,023
And finally...
1071
00:49:21,025 --> 00:49:23,025
A very special move
taught to me
1072
00:49:23,027 --> 00:49:25,161
by a very special woman.
1073
00:49:25,163 --> 00:49:28,431
Thanks, mom.
This is called the pile driver.
1074
00:49:28,433 --> 00:49:31,334
Be careful.
It's rough on the spine.
1075
00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:40,376
Good job, Eddie!
1076
00:49:40,378 --> 00:49:43,346
All right, come on, someone's
gotta find that appealing.
1077
00:49:45,449 --> 00:49:47,350
And now a man who used
a macklemore Lyric
1078
00:49:47,352 --> 00:49:51,988
as his yearbook quote,
brother Brock with a freestyle.
1079
00:49:55,293 --> 00:49:58,627
Okay, okay, all right,
all right, okay.
1080
00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:04,567
Brock in the building,
and I'm feeling fly.
1081
00:50:04,569 --> 00:50:07,303
Tux like James Bond,
got that golden eye.
1082
00:50:07,305 --> 00:50:10,339
Bars on bars
like the candy shop.
1083
00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:13,042
Bid on me, girls,
I'll make your panties drop.
1084
00:50:13,044 --> 00:50:16,612
Okay, once you go Brock,
you might never go back.
1085
00:50:16,614 --> 00:50:19,515
Make your body numb
like a heart attack.
1086
00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:22,518
Okay, here's your chance,
so pull the trigger.
1087
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,287
Put it down on you
'cause I'm a dope-ass--
1088
00:50:29,259 --> 00:50:32,294
the fuck am I supposed
to say to that?
1089
00:50:32,296 --> 00:50:35,698
Wait,
did you forget about me?
1090
00:50:35,700 --> 00:50:37,133
Why am I there?
1091
00:50:37,135 --> 00:50:38,367
You're gonna bid on Brock.
1092
00:50:38,369 --> 00:50:40,336
He's been on me
since I got there.
1093
00:50:40,338 --> 00:50:42,104
I just need you to keep him
out the basement.
1094
00:50:42,106 --> 00:50:44,040
I'm not fucking him.
1095
00:50:44,042 --> 00:50:46,042
-What? No, no, no.
-No!
1096
00:50:46,044 --> 00:50:48,177
Never.
Don't do that ever.
1097
00:50:48,179 --> 00:50:50,046
-You want me to fuck him?
-What?
1098
00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:51,147
It's a million dollars!
1099
00:50:51,149 --> 00:50:53,582
Yeah, but you are only
making 50k.
1100
00:50:53,584 --> 00:50:56,452
For 50 gs, my list of not-dos
is pretty short.
1101
00:50:56,454 --> 00:50:58,654
Okay, walk it back a step.
1102
00:50:58,656 --> 00:51:00,623
You want me to win him
in the auction, right?
1103
00:51:00,625 --> 00:51:03,059
- Yeah.
-What am I winning him with?
1104
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:05,127
We're broke.
1105
00:51:05,129 --> 00:51:08,064
36, 38--
oh, I got a scratcher.
1106
00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:11,367
Wait a minute.
1107
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:14,270
We got 38.
1108
00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:17,239
$42 and 68 cents.
1109
00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:19,775
How is that gonna be enough?
1110
00:51:19,777 --> 00:51:22,511
I'll make it be enough.
1111
00:51:22,513 --> 00:51:24,213
$20.
1112
00:51:25,382 --> 00:51:26,816
$25.
1113
00:51:28,652 --> 00:51:31,353
-$25.
-$30!
1114
00:51:31,355 --> 00:51:34,657
-35!
-$35!
1115
00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:36,459
40!
1116
00:51:38,628 --> 00:51:40,463
Forty... two.
1117
00:51:42,432 --> 00:51:45,134
$50!
1118
00:51:45,136 --> 00:51:47,369
$42 going once!
1119
00:51:48,672 --> 00:51:50,806
I just said 50!
1120
00:51:50,808 --> 00:51:52,475
$42 going twice!
1121
00:51:52,477 --> 00:51:55,711
-50!
-Sold to the women
in the red dress!
1122
00:51:55,713 --> 00:51:57,713
Are you, deaf, asshole?!
1123
00:51:57,715 --> 00:52:00,449
This is not how auctions work,
dumbass.
1124
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,754
Nice work, buttersworth.
1125
00:52:05,756 --> 00:52:08,457
Hey, go get 'em.
1126
00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:20,202
So.
I haven't seen you
around before.
1127
00:52:20,204 --> 00:52:23,639
Yeah, well, we should talk.
It's a nice night.
1128
00:52:24,841 --> 00:52:27,476
You wanna go for a walk?
1129
00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:30,679
Nah, I got something
special for you.
1130
00:52:30,681 --> 00:52:31,814
Follow me.
1131
00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:36,418
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna tear
this mother down.
1132
00:52:36,420 --> 00:52:39,421
Uh-huh, yeah! Yeah!
1133
00:52:39,423 --> 00:52:42,291
Oh, found you.
1134
00:52:44,494 --> 00:52:47,763
Oh, yeah,
i found the money!
1135
00:52:47,765 --> 00:52:49,465
I found the--
1136
00:52:49,467 --> 00:52:52,168
so I had one of
my clueless pledges
1137
00:52:52,170 --> 00:52:54,370
clean this place
with a toothbrush!
1138
00:52:54,372 --> 00:52:57,606
Actually, let's go for a drink
at the bar out back.
1139
00:52:57,608 --> 00:52:59,542
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Let's get out of here.
1140
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:01,644
The thing is I got us
all covered.
1141
00:53:01,646 --> 00:53:03,646
-Okay, I'm coming.
-Come on.
1142
00:53:03,648 --> 00:53:07,183
I got us covered down here.
1143
00:53:07,185 --> 00:53:09,318
-You bid on me, right?
-That's right.
1144
00:53:10,620 --> 00:53:15,424
Voila, I whipped up
this little surprise
1145
00:53:15,426 --> 00:53:17,193
just for the occasion.
1146
00:53:17,195 --> 00:53:19,261
Wow.
1147
00:53:19,263 --> 00:53:21,530
You did all of this?
1148
00:53:21,532 --> 00:53:24,200
-That's impressive.
-Yeah.
1149
00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:25,968
Let's get out of here,
I'm feeling claustrophobic.
1150
00:53:25,970 --> 00:53:29,705
Whoa, whoa, there's no need
to be so anxious.
1151
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:32,741
You want to talk,
let's talk.
1152
00:53:32,743 --> 00:53:34,276
Let's talk.
1153
00:53:39,616 --> 00:53:42,318
Let's get to know
each other better.
1154
00:53:44,254 --> 00:53:45,421
What are you looking at--
1155
00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:47,289
-you.
-Your titties?
1156
00:53:47,291 --> 00:53:48,891
Yeah, I'm looking at you.
1157
00:53:48,893 --> 00:53:51,327
This is dope.
1158
00:53:51,329 --> 00:53:53,295
So, uh...
1159
00:53:53,297 --> 00:53:55,264
Feel like maybe
a lap dance?
1160
00:53:55,266 --> 00:53:59,301
Sure. Oh, yeah.
1161
00:54:00,537 --> 00:54:02,338
Go ahead.
1162
00:54:02,340 --> 00:54:05,574
No, I meant
you give me one.
1163
00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:09,645
A man giving a woman
a lap dance...
1164
00:54:09,647 --> 00:54:11,680
It's an instant
panty dropper.
1165
00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:14,984
What?
1166
00:54:14,986 --> 00:54:16,619
Oh, yeah.
1167
00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:18,020
Okay.
1168
00:54:18,022 --> 00:54:20,556
All you can handle.
1169
00:54:20,558 --> 00:54:23,726
-Yeah?
-Okay, all right.
1170
00:54:23,728 --> 00:54:25,561
You're on
some feminism shit.
1171
00:54:25,563 --> 00:54:28,497
Got the empowered woman.
Well, bring it, girl.
1172
00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:31,600
--Okay. Here we go.
1173
00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:33,002
Whoo!
1174
00:54:33,004 --> 00:54:36,005
Yeah,
already getting so sexy.
1175
00:54:36,007 --> 00:54:39,008
So good.
Keep doing it.
1176
00:54:39,010 --> 00:54:41,777
-Yeah, you like that?
-Getting super wet over it.
1177
00:54:41,779 --> 00:54:44,647
Yeah, tell me
what you want, baby.
1178
00:54:44,649 --> 00:54:47,283
Just keep looking at me.
Oh, my god.
1179
00:54:47,285 --> 00:54:49,385
-Whoo! Okay!
-Love it. Yeah.
1180
00:54:49,387 --> 00:54:50,919
Take something off.
1181
00:54:50,921 --> 00:54:52,688
-Whoo! Yeah!
-So hot.
1182
00:54:52,690 --> 00:54:54,690
-See that belly button?
-Flash it again.
1183
00:54:54,692 --> 00:54:56,425
-Oh? Oh.
-Yeah, oh, my god.
1184
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:57,893
-I love it.
-Yeah, it's an innie-outie.
1185
00:54:57,895 --> 00:55:00,629
It's like in,
but it's out. Whoo!
1186
00:55:00,631 --> 00:55:03,999
Keep facing
towards me, yeah.
1187
00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:06,869
Oh, my, oh!
1188
00:55:06,871 --> 00:55:09,471
Oh, my god, so dangerous!
1189
00:55:09,473 --> 00:55:12,341
Yeah, it's like Justin beiber
and Austin powers
1190
00:55:12,343 --> 00:55:13,876
had a baby, and it's you.
1191
00:55:13,878 --> 00:55:17,313
-Oh, that's my belly button!
-Oh, my god, get it off!
1192
00:55:17,315 --> 00:55:19,348
And there are your pants
coming off.
1193
00:55:19,350 --> 00:55:22,751
Oh, my god.
Oh, my-- it's so hot.
1194
00:55:22,753 --> 00:55:24,853
Yeah, do that thing.
What is that?
1195
00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:27,022
-Is that a dab?
-That's called the dab.
1196
00:55:27,024 --> 00:55:28,424
That's so good.
1197
00:55:28,426 --> 00:55:30,359
And then I'll dab it
over here.
1198
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:32,461
-No!
-Shit, ow, girl!
1199
00:55:32,463 --> 00:55:35,397
Yeah, face down, ass up.
1200
00:55:35,399 --> 00:55:37,900
That's the way
we like to fuck!
1201
00:55:37,902 --> 00:55:40,069
You filthy, girl.
I love it.
1202
00:55:40,071 --> 00:55:41,870
-Yeah?
-Yeah, all right.
1203
00:55:41,872 --> 00:55:44,473
Man, this like
a new experience for me.
1204
00:55:44,475 --> 00:55:48,077
I feel both degraded
and empowered.
1205
00:55:48,079 --> 00:55:51,080
Is that what it's like
to be a woman?
1206
00:55:51,082 --> 00:55:52,381
You still there, baby? Oh!
1207
00:55:52,383 --> 00:55:53,816
Keep your face away.
1208
00:55:53,818 --> 00:55:57,419
Yeah, I'm a bad boy.
I think I need to be spanked.
1209
00:55:57,421 --> 00:55:59,121
-Spanked?
-Ooh!
1210
00:55:59,123 --> 00:56:02,424
-Yeah?
-Go on. I've been a bad boy.
1211
00:56:02,426 --> 00:56:04,693
Punish me, girl!
1212
00:56:04,695 --> 00:56:08,097
I'm so bad.
Put something on it, girl.
1213
00:56:08,099 --> 00:56:09,531
I'm ready.
1214
00:56:09,533 --> 00:56:13,369
Ooh! Fuck! Shit!
That stings!
1215
00:56:13,371 --> 00:56:16,739
You're insane, girl!
Mm! I'm sorry!
1216
00:56:16,741 --> 00:56:18,841
God...
1217
00:56:18,843 --> 00:56:23,145
I'm in charge here.
I clearly can't trust you.
1218
00:56:23,147 --> 00:56:24,947
I'm gonna have
to tie you up.
1219
00:56:24,949 --> 00:56:28,150
-Yeah.
-Keep facing the wall, bitch.
1220
00:56:28,152 --> 00:56:30,052
Tighter, baby. Ooh.
1221
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:33,489
-Time for the blindfold.
-Oh, oh, yeah.
1222
00:56:33,491 --> 00:56:36,392
--Mm-hmm.
1223
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:37,659
-Yeah.
-Like that?
1224
00:56:37,661 --> 00:56:40,396
Yes, ma'am, damn.
1225
00:56:46,937 --> 00:56:48,404
Oh, yeah.
1226
00:56:48,406 --> 00:56:50,139
Hey, it's kind of wet.
1227
00:56:50,141 --> 00:56:52,074
Yeah?
1228
00:56:52,076 --> 00:56:54,576
Y-yeah.
1229
00:56:54,578 --> 00:56:58,180
How do you think
it got that way?
1230
00:56:58,182 --> 00:57:01,016
Okay.
1231
00:57:01,018 --> 00:57:04,453
You pungent
as you is beautiful, okay.
1232
00:57:04,455 --> 00:57:06,422
But now it's my turn,
all right?
1233
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:09,525
Okay, yeah. Yeah.
1234
00:57:09,527 --> 00:57:10,859
I'm in charge now.
1235
00:57:10,861 --> 00:57:13,095
Look, I know you're
not used to this,
1236
00:57:13,097 --> 00:57:16,064
but I'm a brother
who's not afraid
1237
00:57:16,066 --> 00:57:18,000
to go down on a girl.
1238
00:57:18,002 --> 00:57:18,000
Yeah?
1239
00:57:18,002 --> 00:57:22,171
So you just go ahead
and you hike that skirt up
1240
00:57:22,173 --> 00:57:25,474
and get some ready
for some heaven, okay?
1241
00:57:25,476 --> 00:57:26,608
- Here we go.
1242
00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:29,011
--You excited, okay, girl.
1243
00:57:29,013 --> 00:57:31,613
-I get it. Oh!
-Ooh! So excited.
1244
00:57:39,022 --> 00:57:42,458
Oh, damn you, like,
got it all '70s and shit.
1245
00:57:42,460 --> 00:57:43,492
Yeah.
1246
00:57:43,494 --> 00:57:45,527
I can dig it natural.
1247
00:57:45,529 --> 00:57:48,931
-Oh.
-Don't stop, oh, yeah.
1248
00:57:48,933 --> 00:57:55,237
You ever had someone beatbox?
1249
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,741
Keep going all night,
baby.
1250
00:57:59,743 --> 00:58:03,111
Don't stop for any...
Reason.
1251
00:58:03,113 --> 00:58:07,516
Oh, shit, your pussy's
squeaking a little bit.
1252
00:58:07,518 --> 00:58:09,518
Here we go, here we go.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
1253
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:11,053
Hey,
we got the money--
1254
00:58:11,055 --> 00:58:14,723
no, hey, no snapchat,
no instagram, no nothing, man.
1255
00:58:14,725 --> 00:58:16,091
How's your phone
even working?
1256
00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:17,559
Ya'll ain't got
no boost mobile?
1257
00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:17,559
This shit waterproof!
1258
00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:20,095
All right, man,
stop with the pictures.
1259
00:58:20,097 --> 00:58:22,531
Open that shit up,
let's see what we got.
1260
00:58:22,533 --> 00:58:26,935
Get it, baby!
1261
00:58:26,937 --> 00:58:30,005
How does it smell?
How does it feel?
1262
00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:30,005
Okay.
1263
00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:34,977
We got a blockbuster DVD
of encino man.
1264
00:58:34,979 --> 00:58:37,880
-Say what?
-Yep, take a look.
1265
00:58:37,882 --> 00:58:42,551
Oh, we got a mix tape,
the "big Booty grind" mix.
1266
00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:45,554
Big Booty grind?
The fuck is that?
1267
00:58:45,556 --> 00:58:46,955
-We got a zima.
-The money, look--
1268
00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:49,024
-oh, it's a note.
-What?
1269
00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:51,093
"Dear kappa Alpha chi
brothers of the future.
1270
00:58:51,095 --> 00:58:53,695
We are burying this time capsule
in the wall of our house
1271
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:55,797
in hopes that you will
one day uncover it
1272
00:58:55,799 --> 00:58:57,833
and see how your ancestors
partied.
1273
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:01,637
What is the future like?
Are there blow-job robots?"
1274
00:59:01,639 --> 00:59:02,771
A fucking time capsule?
1275
00:59:02,773 --> 00:59:04,273
What's a time capsule?
1276
00:59:04,275 --> 00:59:05,741
No money?
1277
00:59:05,743 --> 00:59:08,010
Everybody gonna get
their dick shot off.
1278
00:59:08,012 --> 00:59:09,978
I do love
encino man, though.
1279
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:12,681
-Yo, yo, del--
-fuck!
1280
00:59:12,683 --> 00:59:13,815
Shit! Fuck! Fuck!
1281
00:59:13,817 --> 00:59:15,884
Man, this is your car!
1282
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:20,255
Gimme that thing!
Fuck this shit!
1283
00:59:20,257 --> 00:59:22,257
We tried.
It's over.
1284
00:59:22,259 --> 00:59:22,257
Maybe it's not, man.
1285
00:59:22,259 --> 00:59:25,961
If we got in the basement once,
we can get in there again.
1286
00:59:25,963 --> 00:59:29,231
How? We barely
got in there tonight.
1287
00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:31,567
Uncle Leon's gonna track us
down, and it's over.
1288
00:59:31,569 --> 00:59:34,102
What don't y'all get?
1289
00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:36,872
I'm done with this shit,
for real this time.
1290
00:59:36,874 --> 00:59:38,774
Wow.
1291
00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:41,243
Del goodlow not following
through on something.
1292
00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:42,778
I can't believe it.
1293
00:59:44,681 --> 00:59:46,148
And what's that
supposed to mean?
1294
00:59:46,150 --> 00:59:49,918
You've never seen anything
through in your whole life.
1295
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,287
But then your dad told you
about the money,
1296
00:59:52,289 --> 00:59:56,325
and I saw a side of you
I've never seen before.
1297
00:59:56,327 --> 00:59:58,660
You were taking charge.
1298
00:59:58,662 --> 01:00:00,862
Coming up with plans,
1299
01:00:00,864 --> 01:00:03,365
trying to do right by your mom,
charming your way
1300
01:00:03,367 --> 01:00:04,633
into a rich frat house.
1301
01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:06,602
I mean,
for a second there?
1302
01:00:06,604 --> 01:00:10,105
I was actually
impressed by you.
1303
01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:13,141
You know, I thought
you were doing this
1304
01:00:13,143 --> 01:00:15,877
to save those friends
of yours from Leon,
1305
01:00:15,879 --> 01:00:18,213
but if you're giving up,
then I guess not.
1306
01:00:19,816 --> 01:00:22,084
I mean, what do
you care, right?
1307
01:00:25,355 --> 01:00:27,723
Least you got
your sneakers and weed.
1308
01:00:31,361 --> 01:00:33,061
You think I don't care?
1309
01:00:33,063 --> 01:00:36,131
I got more at stake in this
than both of y'all.
1310
01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:38,767
What am I supposed to do,
huh, go in there with a bat
1311
01:00:38,769 --> 01:00:40,369
over uncle Leon's skull?
1312
01:00:40,371 --> 01:00:43,405
-What's that gonna get me?
-A broken bat, most likely.
1313
01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:45,207
He's-- he's pretty solid.
1314
01:00:45,209 --> 01:00:47,876
Look, Alicia,
I'm not backing down.
1315
01:00:47,878 --> 01:00:50,712
I just don't know
how to go forward either.
1316
01:01:00,223 --> 01:01:03,892
There they are!
I hope you don't mind.
1317
01:01:03,894 --> 01:01:07,663
I got in a few reps
while I was waiting.
1318
01:01:07,665 --> 01:01:10,399
So... what's it gonna be?
1319
01:01:10,401 --> 01:01:12,734
Money bags or a body bags?
1320
01:01:12,736 --> 01:01:15,137
W-well, definitely not
the body bags.
1321
01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:17,773
But, uh, we--
we ran into some problems.
1322
01:01:17,775 --> 01:01:19,408
Long s-- you don't
wanna hear the story.
1323
01:01:19,410 --> 01:01:21,410
But we don't have the money
right now, so...
1324
01:01:22,879 --> 01:01:24,880
No, no, no,
don't reach back there.
1325
01:01:24,882 --> 01:01:26,348
You don't need the gun.
1326
01:01:26,350 --> 01:01:29,284
-That is disappointing.
-Look, like I said before,
1327
01:01:29,286 --> 01:01:30,919
we tried to get the money,
and we failed.
1328
01:01:30,921 --> 01:01:32,821
You can't win 'em all,
am I right?
1329
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:34,690
Relatable?
Put the gun down.
1330
01:01:34,692 --> 01:01:37,459
You know how many times
in my life I said "i tried"?
1331
01:01:37,461 --> 01:01:39,227
Say like maybe ten?
Ten, fifteen--?
1332
01:01:39,229 --> 01:01:41,396
Never!
Are you crazy?!
1333
01:01:41,398 --> 01:01:45,701
I got a mind to teach
your ass a lesson.
1334
01:01:45,703 --> 01:01:47,202
No, no lesson--
let's just teach--
1335
01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:50,739
ooh, don't touch my gun.
Don't ever touch my gun.
1336
01:01:50,741 --> 01:01:52,841
Okay, not touching the gun.
Just touching your finger.
1337
01:01:52,843 --> 01:01:54,776
Touching a gun's
like touching a man's dick.
1338
01:01:54,778 --> 01:01:56,745
-Don't touch my gun.
-He said it's his dick!
1339
01:01:56,747 --> 01:01:58,814
-I'm not touching the gun.
-You're touching the gun.
1340
01:02:02,486 --> 01:02:04,886
-Agh!
-He shot him!
1341
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:07,155
I told you don't touch
the gun, man!
1342
01:02:07,157 --> 01:02:07,155
Shot me in the toe!
1343
01:02:07,157 --> 01:02:10,225
You kill us,
you not gonna get no money.
1344
01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:13,228
So let me go back to the house,
and let me get the money.
1345
01:02:13,230 --> 01:02:15,997
24 hours, that's all I need.
24 hours.
1346
01:02:15,999 --> 01:02:19,301
How do I know you ain't
gonna just gonna fuck up?
1347
01:02:19,303 --> 01:02:22,003
There goes my sandal game!
1348
01:02:22,005 --> 01:02:25,741
Do I look
like I'm gonna fuck up?
1349
01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:30,011
Ah, man, he ain't gonna fuck up.
He ain't gonna fuck up.
1350
01:02:30,013 --> 01:02:32,214
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
1351
01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:34,750
You know what?
1352
01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:35,917
I believe you.
1353
01:02:35,919 --> 01:02:37,853
I believe you.
1354
01:02:37,855 --> 01:02:40,255
-Okay, whoa.
-You know what?
1355
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:41,757
For the first time,
1356
01:02:41,759 --> 01:02:44,126
you actually look like
your father's son.
1357
01:02:44,128 --> 01:02:46,428
I'm proud of you.
1358
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:49,331
All right.
All right, motherfuckers!
1359
01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:53,335
- 24 hours for your ass!
1360
01:02:53,337 --> 01:02:56,938
And then I'm gonna come,
snatch up your mama,
1361
01:02:56,940 --> 01:03:00,876
and ride her sweet ass
outta here.
1362
01:03:00,878 --> 01:03:02,377
Come on with
the mama stuff, man.
1363
01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:06,114
--You all right?
1364
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,549
I would be better
if I wasn't shot!
1365
01:03:07,551 --> 01:03:09,951
Juice, come on, man,
50 cent got shot nine times.
1366
01:03:09,953 --> 01:03:11,953
You got shot in your pinky toe,
acting like a bitch.
1367
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:13,288
Shit hurt, okay?!
1368
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:14,823
It's just a graze, come on.
1369
01:03:14,825 --> 01:03:16,191
About to lose a leg!
1370
01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:18,160
You're fine.
What's the play?
1371
01:03:18,162 --> 01:03:20,495
I don't know a play, okay?
You heard what he said.
1372
01:03:20,497 --> 01:03:22,564
If I don't have the money,
he's gonna come back,
1373
01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:24,533
he's gonna shoot us,
he's gonna go to the frat house
1374
01:03:24,535 --> 01:03:26,868
and kill everybody there,
what am I supposed to do?
1375
01:03:28,538 --> 01:03:29,871
I need some anesthesia.
1376
01:03:29,873 --> 01:03:31,139
You know what,
matter of fact,
1377
01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:33,408
shoot me in the head
like a horse, put me down.
1378
01:03:33,410 --> 01:03:36,178
Wait, wait, wait,
yeah, yeah, that's it.
1379
01:03:36,180 --> 01:03:39,414
-No, no!
-No, no, no, not put him down.
1380
01:03:39,416 --> 01:03:41,950
Put him to sleep.
Can you get roofies?
1381
01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:44,419
What? You know what?
I'm insulted right now.
1382
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:46,221
That you would think
that I'm the roofie guy.
1383
01:03:46,223 --> 01:03:48,056
Next time I need roofies,
I'll present it
1384
01:03:48,058 --> 01:03:50,091
in a more diplomatic way,
but for now,
1385
01:03:50,093 --> 01:03:52,828
can you get me roofies,
yes or no?
1386
01:03:53,896 --> 01:03:55,397
Yeah, of course.
1387
01:03:57,567 --> 01:04:04,139
Gentlemen, welcome to your
final night of pledge-ship.
1388
01:04:07,510 --> 01:04:10,412
I know this ain't been
an easy time for y'all.
1389
01:04:10,414 --> 01:04:14,850
Been especially hard
on some of you.
1390
01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:16,985
And we had to make it
hard on you
1391
01:04:16,987 --> 01:04:19,487
because what you're about
to step into is so great.
1392
01:04:19,489 --> 01:04:22,591
Brotherhood.
1393
01:04:22,593 --> 01:04:24,926
Built on loyalty...
1394
01:04:24,928 --> 01:04:28,396
Honesty... trust.
1395
01:04:28,398 --> 01:04:29,631
And booze and pussy.
1396
01:04:31,567 --> 01:04:34,169
I love these guys, man.
1397
01:04:36,038 --> 01:04:38,039
And now,
in the grand tradition
1398
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:41,076
of our esteemed forefathers
who preceded us,
1399
01:04:41,078 --> 01:04:43,979
we will seal
the bond of brotherhood
1400
01:04:43,981 --> 01:04:46,381
through the drinking
of the ceremonial punch
1401
01:04:46,383 --> 01:04:50,619
consisting of grain alcohol,
store-brand fruit punch,
1402
01:04:50,621 --> 01:04:52,954
and a little bit
of liquid thc.
1403
01:04:55,658 --> 01:04:57,492
Who wants to step up?
1404
01:05:26,389 --> 01:05:28,623
To loyalty...
1405
01:05:28,625 --> 01:05:30,692
Trust...
1406
01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:32,327
And honesty.
1407
01:05:49,613 --> 01:05:53,982
With that, we'd like
to welcome you former shitbags
1408
01:05:53,984 --> 01:05:55,317
as our brothers.
1409
01:05:55,319 --> 01:05:57,218
Kappa Alpha chi for life!
1410
01:05:57,220 --> 01:05:58,954
Kappa Alpha chi for life!
1411
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:34,389
I think we might have
gone heavy
1412
01:06:34,391 --> 01:06:38,393
on the t... h...
1413
01:06:38,395 --> 01:06:39,694
C.
1414
01:06:47,236 --> 01:06:48,770
I think I'm good.
1415
01:07:00,649 --> 01:07:02,650
This escalator's broken.
1416
01:07:05,654 --> 01:07:08,023
That punch was strong.
1417
01:07:09,792 --> 01:07:11,393
Okay, um...
1418
01:07:11,395 --> 01:07:14,262
Work. Work.
Gotta get to work.
1419
01:07:14,264 --> 01:07:16,531
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
1420
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:18,166
I don't know why.
I don't know why we--
1421
01:07:18,168 --> 01:07:19,501
we doing this.
1422
01:07:19,503 --> 01:07:23,104
Wait...
He's here's somewhere.
1423
01:07:23,106 --> 01:07:25,540
Ahh.
1424
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:27,776
Sarah loves Russell.
1425
01:07:27,778 --> 01:07:30,045
Who the fuck is Russell!
1426
01:07:42,658 --> 01:07:45,660
Money, listen,
I just wanna talk to you.
1427
01:07:47,064 --> 01:07:48,797
What are you doing
down here, pledge?
1428
01:07:48,799 --> 01:07:52,300
-Don't you know who I am?
- Who the fuck are you?
1429
01:07:52,302 --> 01:07:55,737
You dumb son of a bitch.
I'm you, motherfucker.
1430
01:07:55,739 --> 01:07:57,639
Nigga, you me?
1431
01:07:57,641 --> 01:07:58,807
Go on now, hit that shit.
1432
01:07:58,809 --> 01:08:02,710
We in this together, huh?
Goddamn.
1433
01:08:07,216 --> 01:08:10,552
It's in the wall.
I'm looking in the wall!
1434
01:08:12,588 --> 01:08:15,723
You're right, Brock.
Dicks are funny.
1435
01:08:15,725 --> 01:08:19,861
Whoa, whoa, what are you
doing, del? Get back to work.
1436
01:08:19,863 --> 01:08:22,430
Hello? Where are you?
1437
01:08:26,135 --> 01:08:30,605
I will find you, money,
and I will spend you.
1438
01:08:55,831 --> 01:08:58,266
You son of a bitch.
1439
01:09:11,614 --> 01:09:13,314
Come on.
1440
01:09:23,826 --> 01:09:27,162
I got the money!
I got the money!
1441
01:09:27,164 --> 01:09:30,198
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
1442
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:32,167
I got the money!
1443
01:09:32,169 --> 01:09:34,569
I got the--
1444
01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:37,639
no, I got the money,
motherfucker!
1445
01:09:39,909 --> 01:09:41,743
Where is he?
1446
01:09:41,745 --> 01:09:44,679
-He should've been
back here by now.
-I don't know.
1447
01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:46,347
I can't really guesstimate
how long it takes
1448
01:09:46,349 --> 01:09:47,849
to knock out a room
full of white boys,
1449
01:09:47,851 --> 01:09:49,551
snatch a million dollars,
and drive all the way
1450
01:09:49,553 --> 01:09:51,286
to this neighborhood
in Thursday traffic.
1451
01:09:52,889 --> 01:09:54,856
Evening, dummies.
1452
01:09:58,227 --> 01:10:00,361
Here's the traitor.
1453
01:10:04,533 --> 01:10:06,901
What the fuck did you do,
buttersworth?!
1454
01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:08,736
I didn't do nothing!
I was knocked out!
1455
01:10:08,738 --> 01:10:10,972
We got roofied.
Everyone else is still out.
1456
01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,975
While we were out,
someone jacked all our shit!
1457
01:10:13,977 --> 01:10:15,777
Took our weed,
our cash, everything!
1458
01:10:15,779 --> 01:10:17,745
You doubted me about this,
then look what happened!
1459
01:10:17,747 --> 01:10:20,215
-I knew you were
up to something!
-I wasn't up to nothing.
1460
01:10:20,217 --> 01:10:21,616
You guys always talking
about brotherhood,
1461
01:10:21,618 --> 01:10:23,518
having each other's back
through thick and thin.
1462
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:25,887
Something crazy happens,
this how y'all act?
1463
01:10:25,889 --> 01:10:28,223
Come on.
1464
01:10:28,225 --> 01:10:32,727
You're not my brother.
You're a fucking thief.
1465
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:33,995
I'm not a thief.
1466
01:10:33,997 --> 01:10:36,264
I would never steal
y'all's shit.
1467
01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:37,932
But I think I know who did.
1468
01:10:37,934 --> 01:10:40,535
So what I'll do
is I'll go get it for y'all.
1469
01:10:40,537 --> 01:10:42,470
And I'll come right back,
'cause where I'm from,
1470
01:10:42,472 --> 01:10:45,006
that's what brothers do,
we have each other's back.
1471
01:10:45,008 --> 01:10:46,774
So just ease up.
1472
01:10:46,776 --> 01:10:49,777
Hey.
You're not going anywhere.
1473
01:10:52,414 --> 01:10:53,915
At least not by yourself.
1474
01:10:53,917 --> 01:10:56,251
A kappa Alpha chi brother
never stands alone,
1475
01:10:56,253 --> 01:10:57,919
so if you're going,
we're going.
1476
01:10:57,921 --> 01:10:59,420
Come on!
1477
01:10:59,422 --> 01:11:01,856
Well, that's great.
That's real cute.
1478
01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:04,926
I think I'm gonna handle
this one on my own.
1479
01:11:04,928 --> 01:11:07,495
You guys just chill here,
all right?
1480
01:11:07,497 --> 01:11:09,464
I don't think so,
buttersworth.
1481
01:11:09,466 --> 01:11:12,533
You don't have to do
anything on your own anymore.
1482
01:11:12,535 --> 01:11:14,736
You're kappa Alpha chi now.
1483
01:11:14,738 --> 01:11:16,904
You guys don't understand.
This guy is real.
1484
01:11:16,906 --> 01:11:16,904
Trust me, he's dangerous.
1485
01:11:16,906 --> 01:11:20,008
Y'all just stay here and chill.
I got this.
1486
01:11:20,010 --> 01:11:21,009
Not a chance.
1487
01:11:21,011 --> 01:11:23,778
These guys are right.
1488
01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:26,314
We got your back.
1489
01:11:26,316 --> 01:11:28,783
We're family now, right?
1490
01:11:30,853 --> 01:11:32,687
Kappa Alpha chi for life.
1491
01:11:32,689 --> 01:11:34,689
Kappa Alpha chi for life.
1492
01:11:34,691 --> 01:11:37,659
All right.
Kappa Alpha chi for life.
1493
01:11:40,697 --> 01:11:43,298
You know there's, like,
a bunch of dicks on your face?
1494
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:47,335
-Like a bunch.
-Yeah, there's a lot of 'em.
1495
01:11:47,337 --> 01:11:50,038
98...
1496
01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:52,073
Ooh...
1497
01:11:54,376 --> 01:11:55,910
100.
Now, now, Berta.
1498
01:11:57,946 --> 01:12:00,348
I got a lot of money here.
1499
01:12:00,350 --> 01:12:02,517
I can make you happy.
1500
01:12:02,519 --> 01:12:05,086
I'll get you anything
you want.
1501
01:12:05,088 --> 01:12:08,022
We'll make a life together.
1502
01:12:08,024 --> 01:12:10,358
I don't want
your dirty money, Leon.
1503
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:11,959
I'm fine with my life
just as it is.
1504
01:12:11,961 --> 01:12:15,029
We just got the phone back on.
Thinking about a second line.
1505
01:12:15,031 --> 01:12:16,597
Where's my son?
1506
01:12:16,599 --> 01:12:21,436
Woman, how am I gonna focus
on getting up in that pussy
1507
01:12:21,438 --> 01:12:24,105
when all you can talk about
is what came out of it?
1508
01:12:25,508 --> 01:12:26,941
I think I can get us
out of here.
1509
01:12:26,943 --> 01:12:28,109
Go ahead, you got that?
1510
01:12:28,111 --> 01:12:30,411
Oh, you got soft hands.
I never noticed.
1511
01:12:30,413 --> 01:12:31,679
You shut up.
You shut up.
1512
01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:33,915
You shut up.
You shut the fuck up.
1513
01:12:35,984 --> 01:12:38,119
You guys hang out
by the back door
and wait for the signal.
1514
01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:39,821
Okay, yeah, totally.
1515
01:12:39,823 --> 01:12:41,756
Yeah, what's
the signal, though?
1516
01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:43,958
Bro, I told you,
it's "man."
1517
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,727
-Man. Man.
-Man. Man.
1518
01:12:45,729 --> 01:12:48,396
-Like-- like, "man!"
-Man. Man.
1519
01:12:53,502 --> 01:12:57,138
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
1520
01:12:57,140 --> 01:12:58,806
Fuck you, Berta!
1521
01:12:58,808 --> 01:13:02,110
You just missed out
on the greatest dick
you ever known!
1522
01:13:04,913 --> 01:13:07,482
Um, black Mr. clean!
1523
01:13:07,484 --> 01:13:10,752
I heard 'roids
make your dick small!
1524
01:13:10,754 --> 01:13:13,087
What the fuck
did you just say to me?
1525
01:13:14,690 --> 01:13:14,689
Uh--
1526
01:13:14,691 --> 01:13:18,793
you and this bitch
are just lucky to be alive!
1527
01:13:18,795 --> 01:13:21,529
Oh, you gonna be sorry
you said that.
1528
01:13:21,531 --> 01:13:23,097
We-- we-- we cool.
It's cool.
1529
01:13:23,099 --> 01:13:25,133
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
1530
01:13:25,135 --> 01:13:27,702
Get your ass back!
1531
01:13:27,704 --> 01:13:30,071
Motherfuckers
have tried and died
1532
01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:32,907
sneaking up on Leon goodlow!
1533
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:34,742
You make out
anything he's saying?
1534
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:34,742
Not really.
1535
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:38,613
Sounds like when
a chick's telling you
about her childhood
1536
01:13:38,615 --> 01:13:41,149
while she's eating out
your asshole.
1537
01:13:41,151 --> 01:13:42,650
Dude.
1538
01:13:42,652 --> 01:13:44,919
That is exactly
what it sounds like.
1539
01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:46,454
Oh, shit.
1540
01:13:46,456 --> 01:13:49,090
- Everybody likes butt stuff.
1541
01:13:49,092 --> 01:13:52,827
You still have balls
on your chin.
1542
01:13:52,829 --> 01:13:54,195
What the fuck
are you doing?!
1543
01:13:54,197 --> 01:13:57,932
Okay, okay, Leon. Leon!
1544
01:13:57,934 --> 01:14:00,501
Just put the crowbar down
and I will come with you.
1545
01:14:00,503 --> 01:14:02,103
Leave del out of this.
Del, step aside.
1546
01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:06,874
No, mom, I got this, all right?
Time for me to stand my ground.
1547
01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:10,945
I said it's time I be a man!
1548
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:16,050
I-it's time I be a man!
1549
01:14:20,155 --> 01:14:22,490
Be a man then. What?
1550
01:14:22,492 --> 01:14:24,459
I said it's time
for me to a man!
1551
01:14:24,461 --> 01:14:25,893
Right now!!
1552
01:14:25,895 --> 01:14:27,895
Bro, did you see that video
that said that Tupac
1553
01:14:27,897 --> 01:14:29,897
is alive and working
with the illuminati?
1554
01:14:29,899 --> 01:14:31,999
-Aaliyah and left eye, too.
-Yeah, and it's all true.
1555
01:14:32,001 --> 01:14:33,701
It's right there
on the Internet.
1556
01:14:33,703 --> 01:14:35,102
It's like they're not
even trying to cover it up.
1557
01:14:35,104 --> 01:14:37,805
Wait, wait, wait.
You guys hear that?
1558
01:14:39,975 --> 01:14:42,210
--Yo, that sounds like a gat.
1559
01:14:42,212 --> 01:14:43,845
Good ears, dawg.
1560
01:14:43,847 --> 01:14:46,180
It's time for me to be a man!
1561
01:14:46,182 --> 01:14:49,617
I need to be a m-a-a-an!!
1562
01:14:49,619 --> 01:14:51,819
Baby,
are you having a stroke?
1563
01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:54,121
Come on, man,
please don't rob us again.
1564
01:14:54,123 --> 01:14:55,923
My dad was on the phone
with the bank for hours
1565
01:14:55,925 --> 01:14:58,025
getting new credit cards,
hassle factor's--
1566
01:14:58,027 --> 01:15:00,661
-do I look like I fucking care?
-No.
1567
01:15:00,663 --> 01:15:02,663
I warned y'all
not to come back here.
1568
01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:04,198
Y--
1569
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:06,234
I got this.
1570
01:15:06,236 --> 01:15:08,269
Well...
1571
01:15:08,271 --> 01:15:10,771
You wanna be a man.
1572
01:15:10,773 --> 01:15:14,275
All I see is a little boy
about to piss himself.
1573
01:15:16,613 --> 01:15:18,579
Get your ass over there.
1574
01:15:18,581 --> 01:15:21,182
You trying to play me?!
You trying to play me?!
1575
01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:24,085
Hey,
call your boy off, man!
1576
01:15:24,087 --> 01:15:25,753
We know we were supposed
to wait for your signal
1577
01:15:25,755 --> 01:15:27,955
to come and help you,
but we couldn't hear
1578
01:15:27,957 --> 01:15:30,958
your signal,
and now we need help. Oh--
1579
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,528
hold on, hold on.
Is that him?
1580
01:15:33,530 --> 01:15:35,963
Is that the fucker
that took our shit?
1581
01:15:35,965 --> 01:15:38,966
-He's huge!
-Show some respect,
little homie.
1582
01:15:38,968 --> 01:15:42,570
That is Leon goodlow, son.
Ghetto legend.
1583
01:15:42,572 --> 01:15:44,906
Hood hall of fame,
motherfucker!
1584
01:15:44,908 --> 01:15:47,241
This thug right here
is a-no good low-life
1585
01:15:47,243 --> 01:15:50,278
and he's the type
that I do not
associate myself with.
1586
01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:53,915
Don't associate with?
1587
01:15:53,917 --> 01:15:56,183
Ask yourself if you've ever
seen your friend here
1588
01:15:56,185 --> 01:15:58,986
in class or doing homework?
1589
01:15:58,988 --> 01:16:00,888
I maintain a solid gpa.
1590
01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:03,090
What I do on my own time
is my own business, thank you.
1591
01:16:03,092 --> 01:16:06,227
On your own time?
Snooping around their basement?
1592
01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:08,262
I'm kappa Alpha chi,
motherfucker, what's good?!
1593
01:16:08,264 --> 01:16:09,330
Kappa Alpha chi!
1594
01:16:09,332 --> 01:16:11,699
Tell them
who the fuck you are!
1595
01:16:11,701 --> 01:16:13,134
Okay, you got the gun
right there.
1596
01:16:13,136 --> 01:16:16,270
Guys, just real quick.
I'm-a keep it 100 with you.
1597
01:16:16,272 --> 01:16:18,205
My real name
is del goodlow, okay?
1598
01:16:18,207 --> 01:16:20,575
I'm not a college student.
I lied about that.
1599
01:16:20,577 --> 01:16:23,578
I just did it so I could get
into your frat
1600
01:16:23,580 --> 01:16:25,313
and take the money
that my uncle and father
1601
01:16:25,315 --> 01:16:29,984
stashed there years ago,
so that's the whole truth.
1602
01:16:33,822 --> 01:16:37,224
Oh, my god! I told you!
I told you!
1603
01:16:37,226 --> 01:16:41,228
I to-o-ld you!
I told you! I told you!
1604
01:16:41,230 --> 01:16:44,231
I told you, like,
six times this that n-n--
1605
01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:48,202
new... guy
was up to something!
1606
01:16:48,204 --> 01:16:51,772
Yes, okay,
obviously he looks exactly
1607
01:16:51,774 --> 01:16:53,874
like that fire inspector
who came to our house,
1608
01:16:53,876 --> 01:16:56,010
but I couldn't say that then!
1609
01:16:56,012 --> 01:16:58,279
And, yes, it does seem
a little fishy in retrospect
1610
01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:00,348
that he kept offering
to remodel our basement.
1611
01:17:00,350 --> 01:17:03,317
I bet you're not even
a licensed contractor.
1612
01:17:03,319 --> 01:17:05,286
No, I'm not.
1613
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:07,722
You're an asshole.
1614
01:17:07,724 --> 01:17:12,360
How much money we talking
about here, del?
1615
01:17:12,362 --> 01:17:13,861
Ain't no big deal.
1616
01:17:13,863 --> 01:17:16,197
Just a little something
left over from an old job.
1617
01:17:16,199 --> 01:17:17,398
A little money?
1618
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:20,334
That's a million dollars
in there!
1619
01:17:20,336 --> 01:17:23,704
-Right?
-Nigga, a million dollars?!
1620
01:17:23,706 --> 01:17:25,906
I thought you didn't want
no dirty money!
1621
01:17:25,908 --> 01:17:28,409
Shit, my morals
start get real flexible
1622
01:17:28,411 --> 01:17:30,011
around the mid-six figures.
1623
01:17:30,013 --> 01:17:32,313
You know,
legally speaking,
1624
01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:34,715
depending on how long
that's been in our basement,
1625
01:17:34,717 --> 01:17:37,151
we may technically own it
thanks to something
1626
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:39,053
called adverse possession.
1627
01:17:39,055 --> 01:17:39,053
Pre-law.
1628
01:17:39,055 --> 01:17:43,791
Lucky for me, I don't give
a shit about the law.
1629
01:17:43,793 --> 01:17:47,028
-Okay.
-So give me the fuckin' money.
1630
01:17:47,030 --> 01:17:50,665
Whatever happened to me
being a ghetto legend?
1631
01:17:50,667 --> 01:17:52,233
Still true.
1632
01:17:52,235 --> 01:17:54,101
But...
1633
01:17:54,103 --> 01:17:55,736
Million dollars, bro.
1634
01:17:55,738 --> 01:17:58,406
Not to mention the shine
my reputation gonna get
1635
01:17:58,408 --> 01:18:02,443
if I take out a bad-ass
motherfucker like yourself.
1636
01:18:02,445 --> 01:18:04,712
I respect that.
1637
01:18:04,714 --> 01:18:07,415
But you ain't
getting that shit.
I earned that.
1638
01:18:07,417 --> 01:18:09,016
However...
1639
01:18:11,253 --> 01:18:13,754
I think you might enjoy
the contents of that bag.
1640
01:18:13,756 --> 01:18:16,090
Just some odds and ends
i managed
1641
01:18:16,092 --> 01:18:18,859
to relieve
these boys of earlier.
1642
01:18:18,861 --> 01:18:20,728
Get about 20 gs
for that shit.
1643
01:18:26,068 --> 01:18:30,237
That's real nice of you, Leon.
Real nice.
1644
01:18:30,239 --> 01:18:32,206
Be even nicer, though,
if you just...
1645
01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:35,710
Handed over the rest now,
too, hmm?
1646
01:18:35,712 --> 01:18:38,412
Ooh-ee!
1647
01:18:38,414 --> 01:18:43,818
Oh, look like you got us
in a mess now, del, huh?!
1648
01:18:43,820 --> 01:18:45,920
Ain't nobody leaving
this motherfucker
1649
01:18:45,922 --> 01:18:49,023
until there's some blood
on the floor!
1650
01:18:49,025 --> 01:18:52,927
Wait, wait, wait, wait, okay?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1651
01:18:52,929 --> 01:18:54,495
I'm sorry to everyone.
1652
01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:57,264
I know you guys are pissed,
and you got every reason to be.
1653
01:18:57,266 --> 01:18:59,366
But you gotta understand
why I did what I did.
1654
01:18:59,368 --> 01:19:01,102
Okay, I did it
for my moms.
1655
01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:03,738
I did it to help
save this place.
1656
01:19:03,740 --> 01:19:07,208
Uncle Leon, come on, man,
remember when you and my dad
1657
01:19:07,210 --> 01:19:10,878
helped start this gym,
remember how proud you were,
1658
01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:13,481
how proud you were to get
these kids off the streets?
1659
01:19:13,483 --> 01:19:14,982
Turned my life around.
1660
01:19:18,353 --> 01:19:20,521
And guys, I'll admit
when I first met y'all,
1661
01:19:20,523 --> 01:19:24,024
I thought you were
a bunch of overprivileged
ignorant assholes
1662
01:19:24,026 --> 01:19:26,227
with tiny hands standing
between me and what I needed.
1663
01:19:26,229 --> 01:19:30,397
But I misjudged y'all.
Y'all are family.
1664
01:19:30,399 --> 01:19:31,899
Y'all are brothers.
1665
01:19:31,901 --> 01:19:33,200
I really believe
what Brock said earlier.
1666
01:19:33,202 --> 01:19:34,935
Family has
each other's back,
1667
01:19:34,937 --> 01:19:38,539
no matter what,
even if they fuck up.
1668
01:19:38,541 --> 01:19:41,075
Whether that family name
is kappa Alpha chi...
1669
01:19:41,077 --> 01:19:43,310
Kappa Alpha chi.
1670
01:19:46,081 --> 01:19:47,548
...or goodlow.
1671
01:19:50,118 --> 01:19:51,519
Fuck you, del.
1672
01:19:51,521 --> 01:19:55,322
Ain't no sentimental
conflict resolution bullshit
1673
01:19:55,324 --> 01:19:57,024
gonna work on me, nigga.
1674
01:20:00,529 --> 01:20:02,563
Well, fuck you, too then!
1675
01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:07,434
Agh! Shot me in the ass!
1676
01:20:07,436 --> 01:20:09,870
Shut up!
Barely grazed your ass.
1677
01:20:09,872 --> 01:20:11,906
Oh, it hurts.
It hurts.
1678
01:20:11,908 --> 01:20:14,475
-I told you it hurts.
- Ooh!
1679
01:20:14,477 --> 01:20:15,910
Enough!
1680
01:20:19,181 --> 01:20:20,581
You know what, del,
1681
01:20:20,583 --> 01:20:24,218
when I found out
your father had told you
1682
01:20:24,220 --> 01:20:27,154
about the money,
my first thought--
1683
01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:29,156
oh, shit!
1684
01:20:39,534 --> 01:20:42,303
Goddamn it, del!
1685
01:20:42,305 --> 01:20:43,571
How many times
did I tell you to fix
1686
01:20:43,573 --> 01:20:45,906
the motherfucking
air conditioner?!
1687
01:20:47,409 --> 01:20:49,844
Whoo!
1688
01:20:49,846 --> 01:20:49,844
So there you go.
1689
01:20:49,846 --> 01:20:53,180
Good things do happen
in the hood.
1690
01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:55,082
My moms got to keep
the gym, baby,
1691
01:20:55,084 --> 01:20:57,418
and there was still plenty
of money to go around.
1692
01:20:57,420 --> 01:21:01,222
Here you go, boys.
Sorry about the basement.
1693
01:21:01,224 --> 01:21:05,092
So now we got a family
and we got a business.
1694
01:21:05,094 --> 01:21:07,561
And even though
our insurance payments tripled,
1695
01:21:07,563 --> 01:21:10,197
I made sure your boy juice
got a job.
1696
01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:11,632
Juice, you know
your workman's comp
1697
01:21:11,634 --> 01:21:13,367
doesn't cover
stupid, right?
1698
01:21:13,369 --> 01:21:17,004
Why did you climb a ladder
so that you could bend down?
1699
01:21:17,006 --> 01:21:20,908
-Oh, what up, neighbor?
-What up!
1700
01:21:20,910 --> 01:21:22,509
All the fellas
at kappa Alpha chi
1701
01:21:22,511 --> 01:21:26,146
learned how to do some real
charity work for a change.
1702
01:21:26,148 --> 01:21:28,048
Let's practice!
Come on, let's glove up!
1703
01:21:28,050 --> 01:21:30,618
And trap, well, he was
happy to be back in the gym
1704
01:21:30,620 --> 01:21:32,319
and part of the family again.
1705
01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:35,289
We even gave him a job--
collections.
1706
01:21:35,291 --> 01:21:39,560
Yeah, we missing out
on some serious loot, baby.
1707
01:21:39,562 --> 01:21:41,562
We need to get that back.
1708
01:21:41,564 --> 01:21:44,331
And pops must have
heard the news,
1709
01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:47,067
'cause I changed our number
twice and he still calling.
1710
01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:49,336
This is del's gym.
Leave a message.
1711
01:21:49,338 --> 01:21:53,641
Man, answer the damn phone!
It's me! It's dre!
1712
01:21:53,643 --> 01:21:55,109
Nigga, I swear you dead
1713
01:21:55,111 --> 01:21:56,577
if you make that gym
a damn crossfit.
1714
01:21:56,579 --> 01:21:58,512
--Hello?
1715
01:21:58,514 --> 01:22:01,615
Feels good to give back
to the community, doesn't it?
1716
01:22:01,617 --> 01:22:02,616
Fo' sho'.
1717
01:22:02,618 --> 01:22:06,053
-Yeah.
- Okay, there she is!
1718
01:22:06,055 --> 01:22:08,355
Why don't you start
with them toilets, Barack?
1719
01:22:09,391 --> 01:22:10,624
I deserve that.
1720
01:22:10,626 --> 01:22:13,060
Make that happen.
1721
01:22:13,062 --> 01:22:15,596
Oh, and one last thing.
1722
01:22:15,598 --> 01:22:19,633
Wow, they came back alive
and fully conscious.
1723
01:22:19,635 --> 01:22:19,633
Impressive.
1724
01:22:19,635 --> 01:22:23,304
If you think that's
impressive...
1725
01:22:26,274 --> 01:22:28,342
Del!
Stop macking on the staff
1726
01:22:28,344 --> 01:22:30,444
and install
the new air conditioner.
1727
01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:32,513
I gotta go to class
in, like, 30 minutes.
1728
01:22:32,515 --> 01:22:33,547
Just have juice do it.
1729
01:22:33,549 --> 01:22:35,549
No!
1730
01:22:35,551 --> 01:22:36,583
Damn.
1731
01:22:36,585 --> 01:22:39,720
You ain't strong,
college man.
1732
01:22:41,323 --> 01:22:42,556
Yo, yo!
1733
01:22:42,558 --> 01:22:47,227
Just tap out if you want
a real man to step in.
1734
01:22:47,229 --> 01:22:49,263
Mind your business, Reggie!
1735
01:22:49,265 --> 01:22:51,966
-You think this is?
-Your loss.
1736
01:22:54,736 --> 01:22:55,669
Oh!
1737
01:23:15,224 --> 01:23:18,559
Man, bach, we don't win
a kids choice award,
1738
01:23:18,561 --> 01:23:21,462
this is some bullshit.
1739
01:23:21,464 --> 01:23:24,999
Y'all just gonna let him
kick me in my ass?
1740
01:23:25,001 --> 01:23:28,335
Fucking time capsule!
1741
01:23:28,337 --> 01:23:30,704
Is that too much?
Did I overdo it?
1742
01:23:30,706 --> 01:23:33,707
My boy!
1743
01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:36,243
Don't fucking fall asleep on me
when I'm sitting here
1744
01:23:36,245 --> 01:23:39,413
trying to be a Mr. Rogers
or a Dr. Phil.
1745
01:23:39,415 --> 01:23:41,315
And I don't know what you
keep looking up
1746
01:23:41,317 --> 01:23:43,617
at that big St. Bernard for.
He only want a donut.
1747
01:23:43,619 --> 01:23:45,019
I can smack him
upside the head
1748
01:23:45,021 --> 01:23:46,286
and throw a donut
on the ground.
1749
01:23:46,288 --> 01:23:46,286
He gonna have to
make a decision.
1750
01:23:46,288 --> 01:23:50,024
-What you think he gonna go for?
-He gonna go for the donut.
1751
01:23:50,026 --> 01:23:51,392
The motherfuckin' donut.
1752
01:23:51,394 --> 01:23:52,626
I think I have it.
1753
01:23:52,628 --> 01:23:54,762
Okay, she got it.
1754
01:23:54,764 --> 01:23:57,431
No, I don't.