1 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,200 (ENGINE REVVING) 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,160 (TRAIN HORN BLASTS) 3 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,080 (CHEERING) 4 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,520 -Yes. -Thank you. 5 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,480 Greetings. Thank you so much. 6 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,440 (CHEERING CONTINUES) 7 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,200 -Hello, everybody. -Thank you. 8 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,360 Thank you. 9 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,160 Whoa! Hello. Thank you. 10 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,240 Thank you so much. 11 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,960 JEREMY: Thank you, thank you, thank you. -Thank you. 12 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,560 Thank you. Welcome. 13 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:24,800 And in this show, apart from James's weird jacket and T-shirt combination... 14 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,640 -Nothing to be proud of, mate. -No, it isn't. 15 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,960 ...we have many other things besides. 16 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,320 JEREMY: James May changes gear. 17 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,640 Richard Hammond changes gear. 18 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,960 -(GRUNTS) -(GEARBOX CLUNKS) 19 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,440 And I... 20 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,040 (GEARS CRUNCH) 21 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,160 (ENGINE REVS) 22 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,200 (GEARS CRUNCH) 23 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,480 ..change gear. 24 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,600 -(CHEERING) -Thank you. 25 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,360 It's all very exciting. 26 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,840 But we start in the 1950s, when James May was an old man. 27 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,800 (LAUGHTER) 28 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,400 Now, back then, Jaguar won Le Mans three times with the D-Type. 29 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,120 And after they retired that from racing, 30 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,520 they decided to build 25 road-going versions of it, 31 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,720 which they called the XKSS. 32 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,640 We've got a photograph of one here. 33 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,120 Now, this was aimed at wealthy young gentlemen 34 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,720 who wanted to spend the week dashing around town 35 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,640 and then the weekend doing motor racing. 36 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,840 Steve McQueen had one, and I think that says it all. 37 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:30,080 Unfortunately, in 1957 there was a huge fire at the factory, 38 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:35,480 and nine of those 25 cars were never made& until now. 39 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,920 (BIRDSONG) 40 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,840 Let me make one thing plain right from the start - 41 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:59,840 this is not a replica XKSS built from plastic, 42 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,040 this is an XKSS. 43 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:14,080 Built by Jaguar themselves over 10,000 painstaking hours, it's the real deal. 44 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:20,480 In fact, it's as real as the real ones from way back when. 45 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:35,760 The chassis is made from a special steel called Reynolds 531. 46 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,760 It's what they originally used to build the World War II Spitfire. 47 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,840 And it's light - it only weighs 39kg. 48 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,960 And then there's the body. 49 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,000 The tooling and the technical drawings were all destroyed in the fire, 50 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,160 so they had to scan an original from 1957 51 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,960 and then work backwards from that to make it, 52 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,440 in incredible detail, right down to the rivets. 53 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,160 Every one, the number and the position is as it was. 54 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,080 And there's over 2,000 of them. 55 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,960 But it was the engine that was the trickiest bit. 56 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,600 The plans for that weren't destroyed in the fire - 57 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,240 in fact, I've got a copy of them here - but there was a page missing. 58 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,240 So they had to get an original engine 59 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,400 and saw it in half to find out how it worked. 60 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,240 No-one has ever made a car like this before. 61 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,560 It's a world first. 62 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:32,440 So it's small wonder it's priced at just over one million pounds. 63 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,640 Or, for half a million pounds more, 64 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,480 you can have one of these! 65 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:49,920 It's an Aston Martin DB4 GT Lightweight. 66 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:55,120 And back in the late '50s, it was the fastest car in the world. 67 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,760 Flat out, it would do 151mph. 68 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:12,120 But this is not from the late '50s. 69 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,720 Despite what you might think when you look at its period dashboard 70 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,560 and its period six-cylinder twin-spark engine, 71 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,720 it was actually built a few weeks ago. 72 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,280 So, like Hammond's Jag, 73 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:32,000 it's an old car that's brand-spanking-new. 74 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,880 -So did these two ever race against each other in period? -No, they did! They did! 75 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,720 May, 1960, I was a month old-- 76 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,640 -I was ten years off being born, mate. -Yeah, whatever. 77 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,320 -Picture of it here, look. -Oh, look! There they are! 78 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,520 JEREMY: It's actually a D-Type. RICHARD: The race version. 79 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,760 JEREMY: Yeah, exactly. DB4 GT Lightweight. 80 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,960 I mean, that was proper racing in those days. 81 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,440 -No stewards enquiries every time there was a bump. -No. 82 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,320 They would just finish the race, have a drink, and then some sex. 83 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,120 We should give it a bash. 84 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,400 What, sex? 85 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,120 -No. -No. 86 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,080 JEREMY: Happily, we were in the French town of Pau, 87 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:15,760 and it was here in 1901 the first ever Grand Prix was staged. 88 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,080 They were closing roads for races here 89 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:26,240 long before they thought of doing the same thing in Monaco or Detroit. 90 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,280 (ENGINES REVVING) 91 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,440 And today they were closed once more... 92 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,080 ..for us. 93 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,160 Oh, look at this! 94 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,920 Closed roads through the centre of Pau. Oh! 95 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,760 Oh, my God! This is like being in history. 96 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:07,280 This may have the same Italian styling as the original, 97 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:13,000 but unlike Hammond's Jag, it is not a faithful replica. 98 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:17,320 It has, for example, a bigger engine than the original, 99 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,480 which means 40 more brake horsepower. 100 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,000 This thing... This thing is quick! 101 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,640 Whoa! Really quick! 102 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,680 Some things are the same, though. 103 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,800 Windows don't wind down. There's no fan or air conditioning of any kind, 104 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,000 and it's got a racing gearbox. 105 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,920 That means no synchros. 106 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,600 Which means that when you want to slow down, you have to heel and toe. 107 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,960 (REVVING) 108 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,760 Like that. Yes! 109 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,640 (TYRES SQUEAL) 110 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,520 That was a skill I never thought I'd need to use again, 111 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,280 a bit like changing a typewriter ribbon. 112 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,400 -(GEARS CRUNCH) -(TYRES SQUEAL) 113 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,920 Whoa! That was& 114 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,800 That was me not matching the revs up, 115 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,640 and that was it not forgiving me. 116 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,520 The really good news, though, is the... 117 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,320 (GEARS CRUNCH) 118 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,520 ..is the brakes. 119 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:23,200 They're made using modern materials, unlike in Hammond's Jag. 120 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,840 (LAUGHS) 121 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,120 Yep, in here it's just me and my big, hairy balls. 122 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,840 And they need to be big. 123 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:35,920 I can only brake when I'm accelerating. Seriously. 124 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,120 The power for the brakes comes off the gearbox, 125 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,560 so with the clutch in there isn't any. 126 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,480 Who thought that was a good idea? 127 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:51,000 Right, time to unleash the 3.4L straight-six. 128 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:55,440 That's 262 brake horsepower bouncing off the walls. 129 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:07,160 In the '50s, Ferraris were hitting 160 on the Mulsanne Straight. 130 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,640 Jaguar D-Types were hitting 172. 131 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,360 And remember, this is, essentially, a D-Type. 132 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,240 (LAUGHS) 133 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:28,920 JEREMY: Whoa! 134 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,840 Just feel the lack of grip. 135 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,840 Of course, back in the '50s cars didn't grip, 136 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,800 because they had cross-ply tyres. 137 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,280 Back then it was all about how a car handled, 138 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,880 and this thing handles absolutely beautifully. 139 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,240 Come on, Hammond, get out of my way! 140 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,440 (LAUGHS) 141 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,920 RICHARD: This really is a special moment. 142 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,640 Just to see these two cars racing around here is incredible. 143 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,600 To be in one of them is unreal! 144 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,680 JEREMY: This is one of the best mornings I've ever had 145 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,640 behind the wheel of a car, ever. 146 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,280 And it's just brilliant fun! 147 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,680 JEREMY: Eventually, though, the people of Pau wanted their town back, 148 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,600 so Hammond and I called time on the fun and games 149 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:34,040 and sat down for a natter about our amazing cars. 150 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,240 Now, we should explain why Aston Martin and Jaguar 151 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:43,120 have suddenly decided to start making cars from their back catalogue. 152 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,400 -And really, well, it's second-hand values, isn't it? -Well, basically, yeah. 153 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:51,440 The last genuine original XKSS to sell went for over £12 million. 154 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,680 -Was it really 12 million? -Twelve million. 155 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,880 So anyone who buys that for a million is getting the bargain of the century. 156 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,080 Yep. 157 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,960 And Jaguar's making more profit on that than it would from selling... 158 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,320 RICHARD: A hundred XEs. JEREMY: Exactly. 159 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,160 I wouldn't be at all surprised if other carmakers don't start doing this: 160 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,800 Ferrari, Maserati, Lamborghini. 161 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,960 If Lancia remade the Fulvia now& 162 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,720 I know, I'd love one. 163 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,360 I'd rather have that than one of those. 164 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,440 JEREMY: Is that the new Honda Civic Type R? 165 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,640 -The new-new one, and it is hideous. -It is, honestly& 166 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,040 (CHUCKLES) It's worse than the last one. It's awful! 167 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:30,120 I mean, the original '90s Civic Type R was brilliant, but that is disgusting. 168 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,200 It's revolting is what it is. 169 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,960 Mind you, it's not as revolting... 170 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,920 -What? -...as what's just got out of it. 171 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,720 RICHARD: Oh, God. 172 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,880 JEREMY: Why are you here? 173 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:46,680 I'm here because I heard that you two were talking complete rubbish. 174 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,400 You don't buy an old black-and-white television set, 175 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,320 you don't buy a Bakelite telephone. 176 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,760 -Why would you buy an old car? -Because they're stylish. 177 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,640 No, new stuff is better than old stuff. I've explained this to you before. 178 00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:01,560 The world now is better than it was just one minute ago. 179 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,400 No, it isn't, because a minute ago you weren't here. 180 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,560 Yeah, that's true. And neither was that thing, and I do hate it. 181 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,160 It just... That's one of the most revolting cars I've ever seen. 182 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,840 You see, that's amazing - you're both talking rubbish again. 183 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,440 JAMES: To prove it, I suggested we take our cars for a simple evening drive. 184 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,960 (GRUNTS) Got to get my leg in. 185 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,120 (SIGHS) 186 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,400 (GRUNTS) 187 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,720 Right, here I go. 188 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:33,040 (ENGINE REVVING) 189 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,880 Oh, that's backwards. No, I don't want backwards. 190 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,400 (GEARBOX CLUNKS) 191 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,680 (GEARS CRUNCH) 192 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,920 That's neutral, so& 193 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,920 (GEARS CRUNCH) 194 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,560 (GEARBOX CLUNKS) 195 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,960 -There, first. -(REVVING) 196 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,760 No, that's still... Oh. 197 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,880 What are they doing? 198 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,840 (REVVING) 199 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,240 -Struggling a bit here. -No, it's& 200 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,320 -Pulling away is an event. -(GEARS CRUNCH) 201 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,520 -Ooh! (LAUGHS) -(CRUNCHING CONTINUES) 202 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,680 -Ooh! -That was a gear, I think. 203 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:16,000 JAMES: Finally, the golden-age-of-motoring duo were on the move, 204 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,840 but not at what you would call "a hell of a lick". 205 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:27,160 It's like driving around behind the National Trust. 206 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,440 I wouldn't be surprised to find there's a souvenir shop in Hammond's car. 207 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,120 You have to go through it as you get out. 208 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,040 (OVER RADIO) Why are we going so slowly? 209 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,840 I want to savour the car and the weather and the journey. 210 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,600 I don't want to rush this one. I want to... go slowly. 211 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,600 -Exactly. We want to make it last. -Exactly. 212 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,880 I should admit the real reason we're driving slowly 213 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:56,840 is because this part of the French motorway network is... very heavily policed. 214 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,720 Hammond and I know this to our cost. 215 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:04,240 A couple of years ago we were driving along here and I was in an Aston Martin then. 216 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,640 Got busted by the constabulary, 217 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,240 who helped themselves to all of our money 218 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:13,200 and took our driving licences away on the spot. 219 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,640 We were left stranded at the side of the road. 220 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,440 I could have been raped... or murdered. 221 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,040 That gives me an idea. 222 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,680 James May... 223 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,760 I'd love to see how fast your car could go along here. 224 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,880 Yeah, let's see what that thing can do. Come on. 225 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,520 I want you to unleash - how many horsepower is it, 320? 226 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,360 Unleash the lot, James! 227 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,360 -Right, I'll come past like a bloodied samurai. Watch this. -(LAUGHS) 228 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,360 Oh, yes! He's buying it! 229 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:54,080 JAMES: Having dropped back, I then showed them what this car can do. 230 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,760 Here he comes, ladies and gentlemen of the police force. 231 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,640 Oh, wow! 232 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,120 Goodbye, Heritage Britain. 233 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,640 I reckon it's got more to give. 234 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,160 Go on, James! Go on! Keep your foot in it, man! 235 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,080 At the speed he's now travelling, 236 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,360 by nightfall he'll be in a cell with Pierre Le Burglar. 237 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,440 JEREMY: Annoyingly, though, when we arrived at the overnight hotel... 238 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,440 Oh, for God's sake! 239 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,640 ..it turned out he'd got away with his recklessness. 240 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,600 -No. -You're not coming in? 241 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,960 My car's got no roof and no locks. 242 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,480 I can't... I can't leave it unattended. 243 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,240 You have got a point, because the police are more bothered around here 244 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,160 with speeding than they are with crime. 245 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,880 Exactly. 246 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,600 -You've got no door locks? -No. 247 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,280 God, you're completely screwed. 248 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,320 (RICHARD SIGHS) 249 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,320 (CHEERING) 250 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,680 JEREMY: I tell you what& 251 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,160 (MIMICS GEARS CRUNCHING) 252 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,960 I did get to grips with the gear changing in the end. 253 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:29,440 I did need a shower after that day when I got to my hotel room, I'll tell you. 254 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,560 -Did you really? -Yes, I did. 255 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:36,600 Because I spent all day sharing a small metal box with a 4.2L radiator 256 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,960 in the South of France, in the summer. 257 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,720 Honestly, my butt crack was-- 258 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,560 We don't need to talk about your butt crack now, please. 259 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,320 What? I'm just saying it was like the Colorado River down there. 260 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,680 Yeah, OK. We'll come back to that later. Not that. 261 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,680 We are actually coming back to that later. Sweating like a pig. 262 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,960 But there are other things in there, too. 263 00:16:55,000 --> 00:17:00,240 But right now it is time to ring the doorbell of debate on the house of chat, 264 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,080 located on Conversation Street. 265 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,120 (SMOOTH JAZZ) 266 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,080 (LAUGHTER) 267 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,280 (APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH) 268 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,320 Erm... 269 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,920 Where shall we begin? 270 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,480 What conversation shall we have? Oh, I know! 271 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,560 Do you remember a while back we were asked to vote on the name 272 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,760 of that new, very serious Antarctic research vessel, 273 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,720 and we all decided we wanted to call it Boaty McBoatface? 274 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,760 -Yes. -Remember that? 275 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,960 The authorities were very angry with us for that, and they said... 276 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,600 I thought actually that we'd never be consulted again 277 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,120 because the public can't be trusted to be sensible. 278 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:40,600 Well, news from my hometown, Doncaster, OK? Anyone from Doncaster? 279 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,840 -(CHEERS) -Are you actually from Doncaster? You'll like this. 280 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,880 -It's actually news from Doncaster, OK? -(LAUGHTER) 281 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,600 The council has decided to risk it, OK? 282 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,120 And they asked the people of Doncaster to vote on a name 283 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,480 for two new sort of snowplough road-gritter things. 284 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,400 -Oh, yeah? -OK? 285 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,280 Would you like to hear suggestions people have come up with? 286 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,520 -Yes, please, Jeremy, we would. -Here we go. 287 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,320 -Grit Van Dyke. -(LAUGHTER) 288 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:07,080 -True Grit, Rule Gritannia. -I like that. 289 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,360 -Salt Disney. -I see what they've done. 290 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,360 These are the names they've chosen. One of them is going to be called 291 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,360 Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney. 292 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,240 (LAUGHTER) 293 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,560 The other one, though, is going to be called David Plowie. 294 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,320 That doesn't work. 295 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,320 I think they were hoping we'd think it was David Plowie, 296 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,720 but it isn't, it's David Plowie - it doesn't work. 297 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,800 -As in snowplough. No. -Well, that would work in Birmingham, wouldn't it? 298 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,920 (IN BIRMINGHAM ACCENT) "I'll get the snowplough out. 299 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,200 All right, we'll call it David Plowie, then." 300 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,800 (LAUGHTER) 301 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,000 The marvellous thing is the council, OK, they said, 302 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,440 "This vote cheered the whole of Britain up." 303 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,720 Well, it hasn't cheered me up. 304 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,040 And the man from the council said, "It's got people interested in gritting." 305 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,040 Well, it just hasn't, has it? 306 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,480 We would be interested in gritting if we'd thought of a name. 307 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,440 Yeah, well, we'd just call it Gary Gritter, wouldn't we? Let's be honest. 308 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,680 Or maybe Ice-ish. That could work. 309 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,880 JEREMY: Yeah. -(LAUGHTER) 310 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,920 Gary Gritter or Ice-ish: do we think those are better names...? Oh, hang on. 311 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,600 -Adolf Gritler. -Perfect! 312 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,000 -(LAUGHTER) RICHARD: Those are better names. 313 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,640 JEREMY: That's a good one. -They like that. Yeah, that works. That's good. 314 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,360 Which shall we have? Shall we go with Itsy Bitsy and the other one or our names? 315 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,440 -Who wants our names? Hands up. Hands up. -(CHEERING) 316 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,720 -That was a vote, Doncaster. RICHARD: Yeah. 317 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,720 -It's just what it's gonna have to be. -Gary and Adolf the gritters. 318 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,640 (LAUGHTER) 319 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,160 Right, the organisers of the Formula E motor racing series - 320 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,520 which is like Formula 1, but for electric cars - 321 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,240 they recently staged a race between one of their cars and a cheetah. 322 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,360 Now, we've got a shot from the video they took of it here. 323 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,200 Now, let me ask you two a question, right? 324 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,600 The cheetah's top speed is 70mph. 325 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:45,160 The car's top speed is 140mph. So which one do you think won? 326 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,480 -Was it the car? -Yes, it was. 327 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,600 Wow! So the mechanical device with a higher top speed beat the bewildered animal 328 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,440 that didn't know what was going on? 329 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,880 (LAUGHTER) 330 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,960 Literally the most pointless race in history. 331 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,920 Yeah, it was basically an exercise in not running over a cheetah. 332 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,920 (LAUGHTER) 333 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,280 -Do you know, I was following a pigeon the other day. -You what? 334 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,440 Is this a new job? Have you opened an agency? 335 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:10,520 Jeremy Clarkson PD: pigeon detective. It's gonna be brilliant. 336 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,640 Did its partner think it was cheating? "Follow him!" 337 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,440 No, I was just following-- 338 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,720 Every time it stopped, did you have to read a newspaper, 339 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,480 and then look for its reflection in a shop window? 340 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,280 -I was merely following-- -Anyway, you should have just gone to Trafalgar Square. 341 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,560 -That's where they go. -(LAUGHTER) 342 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,400 I was merely driving up my drive, and a pigeon was flying along in front of me, 343 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,400 and I clocked it, and it was doing 35mph. 344 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,720 -Was it? -Yeah. 345 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,440 That's another animal that would lose a race against a Formula E car, then, 346 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,360 because that does 140. 347 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,640 It had nothing to do with running a private detective agency. 348 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,640 But you are running a private detective agency? 349 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,560 I was simply following a pigeon! It wasn't that interesting! 350 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,760 Anyway, the essence of it is-- 351 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,240 Did you follow it into a tree? Because that would have been really risky. 352 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:53,120 No, the essence of it is if your animal does less than 140mph, 353 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,560 it will lose the race against the Formula E car. 354 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,680 If it does more than... Well, no animal does more than 140. 355 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,360 It does. A peregrine falcon does. It does 220. 356 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,120 What if you have to follow one of those? 357 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:08,040 -"I can't take the case, I'm afraid. I'll need a new car." -(LAUGHTER) 358 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:12,040 Lamborghini has come up with a new four-by-four. We've got a picture of it here. 359 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,880 -Amazing-looking thing. Fabulous, actually. RICHARD: It does look good. 360 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,840 JEREMY: Make no mistake. Twin-turbo V8, which will be an Audi or a Porsche engine. 361 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,920 Er... Six hundred and forty-one horsepower. 362 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,360 The only problem is they've called it the Urus. 363 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,800 -U-R-U-S, yeah? -Yeah. 364 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,480 Well, that... That sounds to me like another word for bumhole. 365 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,640 -(LAUGHTER) -I know what you mean. It is a bit medical-sounding. 366 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,160 It is. "How is your Urus?" "It's a bit itchy, actually." 367 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,600 (LAUGHTER) 368 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,600 "Mine's inflamed. I can't pee." It's one of those things, isn't it? 369 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,200 -It's something down there. -Exactly, down there. 370 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,600 When you go to the doctor's, "I'm gonna check your Urus," and then he puts a glove on. 371 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,720 "Oh, he's snapping a glove on. I don't want that." 372 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,080 Anyway, so if you want one of those, there it is. 373 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:57,240 Ooh! Can I just talk about the Ford F150 pickup truck, OK? 374 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,920 Now, how many do you think they sell in America? 375 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,040 -I know it's a lot. -A lot. It's 2,500 a day. 376 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,520 -Get sold? -A day. 377 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,520 -That's new - new F150s. -That's huge numbers. 378 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,160 And Ford has decided, amazingly, they would like to sell more, 379 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,600 so they're about to introduce a hybrid version. 380 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,760 JAMES: Really? -(CHUCKLES) Yes, a hybrid F150 pickup truck. 381 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,920 I can't imagine that F150 owners are very interested in a hy-- 382 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,440 -I don't think they know what it is. -They wouldn't. 383 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,200 You're dead right. They've actually done some research over there in America land, 384 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,920 and it turns out that F150 customers, when asked, 385 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:38,320 list fuel consumption as the 28th most important thing in their buying consideration. 386 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:41,160 There are 27 things they would think about first on the car? 387 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,120 -Yeah, 27 more important things. -But what things? 388 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,280 I can't think of 27 things on a car. 389 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,320 Well, hold on. Looks... 390 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,720 MAN: Cupholders. -Cupholders, definitely. 391 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,360 -Yes, that works. JEREMY: Power. 392 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,080 -Power. -Price. 393 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,080 -The size of the load bay thing at the back. -Yeah. 394 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,160 -What else is more important? MAN: Gun rack. 395 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,040 -What? MAN: Gun rack. 396 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,440 -Gun rack! "Somewhere for my gun!" -(LAUGHTER) 397 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,520 Six. Definitely gun rack. 398 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,680 If they're saying that fuel consumption doesn't matter - 399 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,480 which is what those owners are saying - 400 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,400 why, then, are Ford making a hybrid at all? 401 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,920 -Why are they bothering? -Ah, well, now-- 402 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,960 No, they've got to. It's because of the environmental rules that Obama brought in. 403 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,160 All the companies have to do a certain... 404 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,520 But Ford are saying the batteries that are part of the hybrid system, OK, 405 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:26,640 they're not some Communist Bloc to combat fake news, global warming. 406 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,880 OK, it's got batteries in it, yes, 407 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,920 but they are for charging up your mitre saw, 408 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,280 cooling beer and running the coffeemaker on a camping trip. 409 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,600 (LAUGHTER) 410 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,120 So the F150 is a pickup 411 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,840 for carrying a big battery to cool your beer. 412 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,200 And that... I think that is enough conversation for one week, don't you? 413 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,760 -More than, yes. -So let's move it on. Erm... 414 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,240 Right, the new Ford GT. I used one recently in the race we had 415 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,240 from New York to the Niagara Falls. 416 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:59,600 And I'm not sure that on a freeway journey like that I got the best out of it. 417 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,600 Yeah, you chose the wrong car. 418 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,800 -Well, not really. -No, he's right, you did. 419 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,920 Well, the GT was designed as a racing car. 420 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,440 In fact, it won the first time out at Le Mans, 421 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,440 and therefore, as we know, using one on the street is stupid. 422 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,640 -So you're saying I should have tested it on a track? -Yes. 423 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,000 Good, because I have done. 424 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,520 JEREMY: There are those who say that, on a track, 425 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,880 the pretty-boy GT is better than anything made in Europe. 426 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,480 That it's more exciting than all of its rivals 427 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,880 from Lamborghini and McLaren... and Ferrari. 428 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,880 Well, before I can find out, I have to stop. 429 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,720 Right, now we're stationary, I can put it in track mode... 430 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:52,960 (CHIMES) 431 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,240 ..which will lower the car gently. 432 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,680 -(WHIRRING) -Not that gently. 433 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,240 It will engage the anti-lag system so the power is always available, 434 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:06,880 raise the rear wing, and stiffen the suspension by 100%. 435 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:10,680 Good. So, now let's see what's what. 436 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:28,080 The first thing I can tell you is this is not as delicate as a Ferrari. 437 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,080 Ferrari is balletic. 438 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:35,680 This is more like pogo-dancing to The Ramones. 439 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,840 (TYRES SQUEAL) 440 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,040 (LAUGHS) 441 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:46,360 This is hard and brutal and unrefined. 442 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:51,720 When you're in a Ferrari, it's like you're wrapped in silk. 443 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:56,680 In this, it feels like you've fallen into a saw at a lumberyard. 444 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,000 (REVVING) 445 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:10,880 Don't think, however, that it's just a barroom brawler - all doors and no trousers. 446 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,240 It is way more than that. 447 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,120 (TYRES SQUEAL) 448 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,960 The steering's brilliant, the brakes are brilliant. 449 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,360 You get the very distinct impression 450 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,600 that nothing in this has really been compromised 451 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,720 to make it work elegantly on the road. 452 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:38,120 This is a car for people who wear Nomex, not spandex. 453 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:45,360 It's like the chassis's made from pure telepathy. 454 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,680 You can absolutely wring its neck... 455 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,360 ..and it just keeps coming back for more. 456 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,240 Why can't more cars feel like this? 457 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,160 (TYRES SQUEAL) 458 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,120 (CHUCKLES) 459 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,080 (TYRES SQUEAL) 460 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,400 Then there's the twin-turbocharged V6 engine. 461 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,040 Yes, the soundtrack is terrible. 462 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,840 It just makes a noise. 463 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,880 (AGGRESSIVE REVVING) 464 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,320 A lot of noise... all of the time. 465 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:26,920 (CHUCKLES) 466 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,480 And it only produces 647 horsepower, 467 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:37,240 which in this day and age is a lot, but it's not a colossal lot. 468 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:43,520 You can't help thinking a thumping great V8 469 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,840 would have solved both of these problems. 470 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,440 But they didn't want a thumping great V8 471 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,000 because they wanted the GT to be liked. 472 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:02,680 That's why it has a carbon-fibre tub and an aluminium subframe. 473 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:08,120 It's designed to be kept on the ground only by the weight coming from its aerodynamics. 474 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,720 If you take that weight out of the equation 475 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,920 by putting the car in V-Max mode, 476 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,400 which locks the rear wing down, 477 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,280 well, who cares it's only got a V6? 478 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:24,320 Because the performance, it is blistering. 479 00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:27,880 Nought to 60 takes 2.8 seconds. 480 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:30,920 Jesus Christ! 481 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,880 And the top speed is 216. 482 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,080 (WHIMPERS) 483 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,640 (AIR HISSES) 484 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,800 Of course, the GT is not perfect. 485 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:52,240 The steering wheel is ugly and difficult to use, 486 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,720 the fuel tank is too small, 487 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,400 and the body is too big. 488 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,880 And yet... 489 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:04,520 Ferraris and Lamborghinis and McLarens are very good cars, make no mistake about that. 490 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,600 But mostly they're bought by posers. 491 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,600 Now, this isn't for posing. 492 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,760 It's too rough and too plasticky and too noisy for that. 493 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,800 You buy one of these so you can go to a track on a miserable Monday morning 494 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,840 when nobody's looking... and do this. 495 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,080 (ENGINE STARTS, WHIRRING) 496 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:25,480 (REVVING) 497 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,040 -Whoo! -(TYRES SQUEAL) 498 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,160 And you've got to love it for that. 499 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,480 (TYRES SQUEAL) 500 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,800 (CHEERING) 501 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:49,600 Do you know... the strange thing about that car 502 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,360 is that I finished filming it, got into my car, went home, 503 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,760 and I haven't really given the GT another thought since. 504 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,480 I think it's something to do with the fact it's got that V6, 505 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,240 because V6 engines just aren't exciting. 506 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,000 It's like they've got no personality. 507 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,480 Some are, but I'm with you a lot of the time. 508 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,560 He's right. If they're turbocharged especially, because then they don't rev. 509 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,880 You want that extra bit of... 510 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,440 It could be the interior, which is made from that... It feels like shiny plastic. 511 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,440 It feels cheap and low-rent. But whatever it is, 512 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,960 it feels to me as though it hasn't really got a soul. 513 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:27,040 But we must now find out how fast it goes around the Eboladrome. 514 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,600 Right, here we go. 515 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,960 (REVVING) 516 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,360 JEREMY: And she's off! Spoiler up, suspension dropped, in full track mode, 517 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:40,240 as she makes a confident start onto the Isn't. 518 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:44,560 Knocking it down a gear for the first curve to keep those turbos spinning, 519 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:48,760 and already looking on the raggedy edge. 520 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:53,360 She's really not mucking about here, as she flies into Your Name Here. 521 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,160 (TYRES SQUEAL) 522 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,240 Ooh! There's a howl from the bespoke Michelins there. 523 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,560 Now... Oh, yeah, look at that smooth arc around Your Name Here, 524 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:08,360 and then lighting the afterburners for the fast run back down the Isn't. 525 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,240 Not what you would call a soulful sound, as we've said, 526 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,080 but there's no doubting the sheer speed of this thing. 527 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:19,760 OK, into Old Lady's House. Taking it steady through there. 528 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,080 Easy does it. 529 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:27,400 And now back on the gas for what will be a bumpy ride down to Substation. 530 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,800 Hard on the mighty carbon brakes. 531 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,520 Neat through there. This is a Le-Mans-winning performance. 532 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:39,000 Through Field of Sheep and across the line! 533 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,400 -(CHEERING) -That looked unbelievably quick. Did you see it? 534 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,960 RICHARD: Yeah, skittering. -It was properly& 535 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,160 She must have been properly hanging on in there. 536 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,560 Anyway, we must now find out where it goes on the board. 537 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,760 Let's have a look. I imagine pretty high. 538 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,440 RICHARD: Oh! -(APPLAUSE) 539 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:57,680 JEREMY: Well, yes. 540 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,360 One seventeen six. 541 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,640 RICHARD: That's... a second or so slower than the Lamborghini, 542 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,200 which is half the price, remember. 543 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,320 Yeah, but I think what that shows is not that the Ford is slow, because it just isn't - 544 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,760 I mean, it's quicker than a McLaren 720. 545 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,520 What that shows actually is just how fast that Huracán is. 546 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,400 No. Yes, exactly. That's blistering. 547 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,000 Absolutely blistering. Unbelievable car, that. 548 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,800 Anyway, it's now time for Celebrity Face-Off. 549 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,840 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 550 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,960 Yeah. And once again& 551 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,720 Once again, we have a very big question, and it is this: 552 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,960 who is the fastest drummer from a band beginning with the letter "P"? 553 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,680 To find out, would you please welcome from The Police, Stewart Copeland, 554 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,200 and from Pink Floyd, Nick Mason! 555 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,080 (CHEERING) 556 00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,640 JEREMY: Look at this! 557 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,720 We are in the presence of greatness. 558 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,240 Gentlemen. Nick. 559 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,280 -Have a seat, Stewart. -Very nice to meet you. 560 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,280 Holy cow! Look at that! 561 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,120 We are not messing around tonight. 562 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,720 Genuine rock gods have come among us. 563 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,200 You are both regarded as particularly excellent drummers. 564 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,960 Well, by each other, yeah. 565 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000 (LAUGHTER) 566 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,040 And one thing I see that you have in common 567 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,000 is your favourite drummer is the same person. 568 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,280 Yeah, Mitch Mitchell. We worked this out last night. 569 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,040 -We sorted out the hierarchy last night. -That's exactly right. 570 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,840 And er...I knew we were really on it, because the table next door 571 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,720 were beginning to eavesdrop, 572 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,400 and after five minutes they had both actually gone to sleep. 573 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,360 That's right. We lost them. We had lost them by the main course. 574 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,040 So you both agree that Mitch Mitchell was your favourite drummer? 575 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,320 Yeah, our favourite, I think. 576 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,080 This was Jimi Hendrix's drummer, I think we should explain to those of you 577 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,360 who are not as old as, let's say, we are. 578 00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:58,840 Well, that's the travesty right there. 579 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,080 This great towering, this monument of drums... 580 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,920 "was Jimi Hendrix's drummer." 581 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,440 Well, how would you describe him? 582 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,040 Well, Jimi was Mitch's guitarist. 583 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,640 -Nice. Good. -Yeah. 584 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,400 One thing that fascinates me is why are drummers always the butt of everybody's wit? 585 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,680 Well, when I say "wit" I mean jokes. 586 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:20,440 It's because they secretly admire our dragging knuckles. 587 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,200 -(LAUGHTER) -They sense our power. 588 00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:25,360 But there are so many good jokes, right? 589 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,680 What does a drummer get on an IQ test? 590 00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:29,600 BOTH: Drool. JEREMY: Yeah, drool, exactly. 591 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,920 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you throw a drowning guitarist? 592 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,040 -His amp. -(LAUGHTER) 593 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,840 How do you know it's the lead guitarist at the front door? 594 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,680 -Got the wrong key, doesn't know when to come in. STEWART: Yeah. 595 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,920 -(APPLAUSE) -That's a good one. 596 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,600 So we like the guitarist jokes. 597 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,760 Yeah, got any more jokes? 598 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,960 By the way, since we're the gnarliest members of the band, 599 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,200 for two hours we chop wood for a living, 600 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,840 and they're prissy little fiddling in front of this thing. 601 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,680 And you're giving it... Yes, it is. It's hard work as well. 602 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,760 They tell these jokes and we just take it. 603 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,520 -We do. -Because that's how great we are. 604 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,200 (LAUGHTER) 605 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,200 You have a rule as well if you make a mistake with drumming, 606 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:12,680 which I particularly enjoy. 607 00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:16,680 The suggestion is, if you do make a mistake... 608 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:18,320 look angrily at the bass player. 609 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,360 (LAUGHTER) 610 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,760 "What the hell are you doing?" Let's move on to gigs. 611 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,640 You both presumably played really big ones over the years. 612 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,920 What's been your biggest, do you reckon? 613 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,920 Well, we've been comparing notes, but, you know, 614 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,760 you played a stadium and there are... 615 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,000 -We sell out, so, you know... -Yeah, a stadium's a stadium. 616 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,160 But I think he's still got me. We all played the Stade de France. 617 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,600 I played it twice - you know, two nights running - 618 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,960 he played it three times running. 619 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,120 OK, he beat me on this one, then he beat me on that one, because he came before me. 620 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,000 This is the way musicians establish the hierarchy. 621 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,680 He's a drummer, they always come first. 622 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:53,560 You know, Manfred Mann outranks me because he came before, 623 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,320 but Kanye is my bitch. 624 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,960 -Now, I've got a question here from Richard Hammond. RICHARD: Oh, God. 625 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,200 JEREMY: No, no. -Where is he? 626 00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,480 -Richard Hammond - he's there, in the audience. STEWART: There you are. 627 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,560 -He's a big fan of One Direction. RICHARD: What? 628 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,600 -(LAUGHTER) -And his question is, "How do you old dinosaurs feel 629 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,120 now that music's got so good?" 630 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,840 RICHARD: I didn't say that! -(LAUGHTER) 631 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,840 I did not say that! 632 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:25,080 -You did say that. -I didn't say that! Why would I say that? 633 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,080 -I think I'll let Mr Mason handle this one. -Yeah. 634 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,400 Well, I'd like to go on record as saying 635 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:34,640 that fairly recently erm... I was on a show. 636 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,320 I was promoting something - probably double glazing - 637 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,880 and I was with erm... Harry Styles was on as well. 638 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,200 And I did offer to play drums for him, 639 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:45,560 because I'm really looking for work. I mean... 640 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,400 (LAUGHTER) 641 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,040 We've got to get on to cars. No, actually, we haven't. 642 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,960 No, not yet, because I want to talk about fathers. 643 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,280 -Because your father was... -..a wonderful man. 644 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,960 -And a CIA spy. -That, too. 645 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,080 -In his spare time. -In his spare time. 646 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,920 He was a great father and a jazz musician. That's how I knew him. 647 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,560 And he was uh... Before the war he played jazz, 648 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,920 and I've still got his trumpet - he was a session player. 649 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,880 Then the Great War broke out and he joined the army and got into intelligence, 650 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,760 and he shaped the modern Middle East as it was up until 9/11. 651 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,560 Everything that happened after 9/11 is not my dad's fault. 652 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,640 -No. -(LAUGHTER) 653 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,800 I mean, he was very instrumental in Nasser in Egypt, wasn't he? 654 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,760 Yeah, well, when I was born, Daddy was away on business in Cairo, 655 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,360 installing Gamal Abdel Nasser as the dictator of Egypt. 656 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,440 Did you know your dad was CIA? 657 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:37,680 I didn't know until I was in college and um...his book came out. 658 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:41,040 -And on the liner notes of the book... -(LAUGHTER) 659 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,760 OK, but when did he stop being a spy? 660 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,600 -I... Well... -Well, certainly after he'd written the book. 661 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:56,880 And your father - we can turn to that. Now, he was a documentary maker. 662 00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,120 -Mm-hm. -But mostly a motor racing enthusiast. 663 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,640 -Yeah. -Which has rubbed off on you. 664 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,520 Mm, just a bit. 665 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,120 This is where I'm afraid we have to tune you out slightly, Stewart, 666 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,280 for a little while, because Nick's car collection is... 667 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,640 -This is a car show. -It is a car show. 668 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,760 -Not a spy-daddy show. -(LAUGHTER) 669 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,000 -How many cars have you got? -I don't know. Erm... 670 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,400 (LAUGHTER) 671 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,840 Hm. Twen-- 672 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,400 Thir-- 673 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,520 Thir-- Forty? 674 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,880 Forty? 675 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,120 I've got a list here of some of them. 676 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,080 We're not talking now about, you know, cars like a Ford Cortina, 677 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:35,200 because you've got an Alfa Romeo TZ1, 678 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:39,000 Aston Martin Ulster, 1930 Bentley 4.5L, 679 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,960 Bugatti Type 35, Ferrari 250 GTO, 680 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:47,880 Ferrari 250 LM, Ferrari 512 Berlinetta Boxer, Ferrari Daytona Competition, 681 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:51,400 Ferrari F40, Model T4, Jaguar D-Type, 682 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:56,440 Maserati 250F, Maserati Birdcage, McLaren GTR. 683 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,920 It's a remarkable collection. Which is your favourite? 684 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:03,960 Er... It always has to be the 250 GTO, 685 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,240 because it makes me look clever. 686 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,560 You know, when I bought this car 40 years ago... 687 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,800 JEREMY: May I just ask - it's a rude question, I know - 688 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,760 but how much did you pay for the GTO? 689 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,160 -I paid about 35 grand for it. -Thirty-five thousand? 690 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,400 -And it's now worth...? -I... Don't tell me. 691 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,600 -Thirty million. -(AUDIENCE GASPS) 692 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,680 No, more than that. Oh! 693 00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:27,920 (LAUGHTER) 694 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,600 -Where are all these cars? -Oh, God. I've left them on the meter. 695 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,600 Have you got, like, the garage from hell? 696 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,560 And these are largely racing cars. It's racing that interests you more than... 697 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,160 Yeah. I never wanted to be a car collector, I wanted to go motor racing. 698 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,240 -And you do actually use them? -Yes. 699 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,880 -And lend them out? -Erm... Not often, but occasionally, yeah. 700 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,560 -Well, you lend them to your family. -(CHUCKLES) Yes. 701 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,360 Who would like to see a photograph of what your daughter did to one? 702 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,360 -There she is. -(AUDIENCE GASPS) 703 00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,760 -That's your little girl? -It's known as the Cupcake. 704 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,880 (LAUGHTER) 705 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,440 The gloves and the helmet and the... look go great in the pink Cupcake. 706 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,800 She's trying to steer it still. 707 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,560 NICK: On the side, it all looks... 708 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,760 She hasn't given up, that's what I really... 709 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,840 -"I can get this back." -(LAUGHTER) 710 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,120 Right, come on, then, Stewart, let's get to your cars. 711 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,400 It starts with a... It's not quite as impressive as Nick's, is it? 712 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,400 -A Morris Traveller. -There you go. 713 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,600 I got it for 40 quid from a gypsy, 714 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,000 and I spent most of the time under it. 715 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,040 -That was when you were in the UK? -Yeah. 716 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:30,360 -And I had a Millman Minx for a very short amount of time? -A Minx? 717 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,160 -A Hill... A Millman Hinx. -(LAUGHTER) 718 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,000 It met its end in Hammersmith. 719 00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,320 No! How? 720 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,040 Well, I was pulling around Hammersmith, 721 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,240 and an articulated lorry came in front of me, 722 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,800 and uh...so I slowed down, 723 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:49,200 and the back of a truck ran over and squashed my Hillman Minx like a bug. 724 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,120 On... Right there in Hammersmith. 725 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,360 And as I'm looking at the smouldering remains of my car, 726 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,200 a cop comes up and gave me a ticket for bald tyres. 727 00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:04,000 That's cruel. Anyway, look, we've got to get on to your laps. 728 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,720 Er... Now, whose lap shall we see first? Let me think. 729 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,000 I think we should start with... 730 00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,360 Well, let's be honest, let's start with the older gentleman, 731 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,200 the elder statesman, the pro. 732 00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:16,000 -OK, who would like to see Nick's lap? -(CHEERING) 733 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,760 Come on, then. Let's have a look. 734 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:23,160 STEWART: That's how you do it. 735 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,080 OK, launch control. 736 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:29,800 JEREMY: And... Oh, look at that for a tidy line. 737 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,920 This is a man who's done racing before. 738 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,840 Holding it nicely there. 739 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,760 -And onto the gravel. STEWART: Very nice. Very nice. Look at that. 740 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,040 JEREMY: No brake lights. 741 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,760 Oh, but there should have been, perhaps, because that's quite wide. 742 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:48,440 And there we are. So, quick at the beginning, slow now - typical drummer. 743 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,600 (BLEEP) drift! 744 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,400 JEREMY: Oh, look at... That's nicely done, Nick. STEWART: Nice, nice. 745 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,880 JEREMY: And into Difficult Bit Two. 746 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:02,000 -You're just kissing those lines so neatly. -That bodes well. 747 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,960 JEREMY: No, it does. You know, it doesn't look particularly fast, 748 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,760 but I can just see... Let's have a look. That's really skinny, that bit. 749 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,080 STEWART: The gravel's insane. 750 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,120 JEREMY: Yeah, but it's when you get back on the tarmac, you think... 751 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,680 Oh, that was wide! Right, now into the fast bit. 752 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:20,360 -Whoa! Scary! -(LAUGHTER) 753 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,200 JEREMY: Yeah, it is that fast. It is quite scary through here. 754 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,560 That is tidily done. Did you lift? 755 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,080 (TYRES SQUEAL) 756 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,600 STEWART: Wahoo! 757 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,360 JEREMY: And there we are, he is across the line. So that's good - you're there. 758 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,320 Did you lift off on the fast bit? 759 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,360 By the end of it I did it flat. 760 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,560 You did it flat? 761 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,680 OK, then. Who would like to see Stewart's lap? 762 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:46,160 -(CHEERING) -Let's have a look at Stewart's lap. 763 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,000 JEREMY: Yeah, tidy start. 764 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,960 -Hallelujah! Geronimo! -(LAUGHTER) 765 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,640 JEREMY: Are we as tidy as Nick? No, we're just cheating. 766 00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,640 STEWART: Off the course. JEREMY: No, that was nice. I like to slow it... 767 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,960 Yes, that's good. Keep it on the right, ready for the left, 768 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,640 and onto the difficult bit, when it starts to just snake around on you. 769 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:11,560 STEWART: This is insane. This gravel is just completely insane. 770 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,200 JEREMY: No, I can tell you're really enjoying the gravel. 771 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:17,200 -I hate the dirt! The dirt sucks! -(LAUGHTER) 772 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:21,160 JEREMY: No, I may have got that wrong. But this bit... Yes, nicely done. 773 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,000 You're a lot more violent, I'd say, than Nick here. 774 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,080 A lot more... Yeah, look at that - kicking the tail out. 775 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,120 -Some upthrust there. -Kicking the tail out again. 776 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,080 JEREMY: Soon you'll be back on the tarmac. 777 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,720 STEWART: A bit of a weave there, it must be said. 778 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,400 JEREMY: I approve of the... STEWART: It's looking really dramatic. 779 00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:41,600 JEREMY: It is dramatic. It's a lot more dramatic-looking than Nick's lap, but... 780 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,040 -Let's go! -(LAUGHTER) 781 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,640 JEREMY: This is a man on a mission. Oh, Christ! 782 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,200 That is quick through there, I'm gonna be honest, and nicely held. 783 00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:52,880 STEWART: Stay on course here. OK, this is the big turn. 784 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:56,360 JEREMY: And you've made it. He's made it back, all the way across the line! 785 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,320 (CHEERING) 786 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,440 Who shall we do first? 787 00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,680 I think we're gonna go with Steady Eddie here, Nick Mason. 788 00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,120 -One twenty-one three. -(GROANS) Oh. 789 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,120 Well, you're pulling a face but you don't know what anyone else did. 790 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,400 There you are at 1:21.3. 791 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,760 Just to give you an idea, that puts you at exactly the same time as Luke Evans, 792 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,440 who's in The Fast And The Furious. 793 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,240 Quicker than Hugh Bonneville, quicker than Michael Ball, 794 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,360 quicker than David Hasselhoff. 795 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,080 -Whoa! That's some shit. -Stewart Copeland. 796 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:30,880 (LAUGHTER) 797 00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,200 -You looked faster. -Felt faster. 798 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:35,160 Felt faster. 799 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,240 But you did it in 1:24.2 800 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,200 -(APPLAUSE) -So... 801 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,840 Hey... I made it around the course. 802 00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,160 -You made it around the course... -Mostly. 803 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,520 -..but I don't think we've had anyone slower. -(LAUGHTER) 804 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:57,480 -No, I'm lying. Bill Bailey, a well-known comedian here-- -Yes, Bill! You my bitch! 805 00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,560 (LAUGHTER) 806 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,760 -Bill Bailey and Alfie Boe, they're both slower. -Two bitches! 807 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,280 You've got two British bitches. 808 00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,760 So, there we are, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much, Stewart Copeland, 809 00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:12,280 and the fastest drummer from a band beginning with "P", Nick Mason! 810 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,640 (CHEERING) 811 00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:27,040 Now, tonight Hammond and Clarkson are driving around France in some rubbish, 812 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:30,080 and I've turned up in a modern Honda Civic Type R 813 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:33,320 to prove that modern cars are more reliable, more comfortable, 814 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,800 and, in fact, better in every single way. 815 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:40,360 Yeah, whatever. When we left the action, I was standing outside our overnight hotel, 816 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,960 trying to work out how to secure a £1 million Jaguar 817 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,920 that has no roof or door locks. 818 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:50,240 It was a problem. We pick up the action the following morning. 819 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,320 (COCKEREL CROWING) 820 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,120 JAMES (HUMMING): Morning. -Morning. 821 00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,200 -Sleep well? -No. 822 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:09,840 (ALARM CHIRPS) 823 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,840 (HONDA ENGINE STARTS) 824 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:19,080 -Did you do that? -Yeah, I got bored. 825 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:20,920 JEREMY: I'm amazed he didn't notice. 826 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,200 RICHARD: It could have something to do with the fact 827 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:26,720 that nobody ever looks at their number plate before they drive off. 828 00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:28,160 (LAUGHS) 829 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,920 -Good point. -(GRUNTS) 830 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,840 JAMES: Soon, they had got their stupid cars going 831 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:41,760 and we were on our way to the mountains. 832 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,440 While I was asleep in my luxurious hotel bed last night, 833 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,360 I came up with a bit of a plan. 834 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,160 We'd head over the Pyrenees, 835 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,400 into Spain and down to Barcelona, 836 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,440 to try our cars on a very special track that I'd heard about. 837 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,360 On the way I'd prove my car was better, 838 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,920 and at the circuit I'd prove that even with me at the helm, 839 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,360 it's faster as well. 840 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,640 Here's what you need to know about old cars - 841 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:16,880 they are great to look at, but you don't want to drive one 842 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:21,080 any more than you want to use an old twin-tub washing machine. 843 00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,680 They're just crap. 844 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,600 JEREMY: I honestly don't know what James May's on about. 845 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,960 "I don't like old stuff." He loves it! 846 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,880 He can't get enough of it! He owns a 1977 Ferrari. 847 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:38,280 He has a collection of ancient Honda motorcycles. 848 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:43,760 Does he spend his spare time fixing computers or going to raves? No. 849 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,440 He spends it eating old-fashioned pies 850 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,600 and helping his friends rebuild a steam engine. 851 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,920 I know some of you think I'm being deliberately obtuse 852 00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:54,520 driving this Honda, but I'm not. 853 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,440 I promise you, I do genuinely like it. 854 00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:06,160 Not only does it hold the lap record for front-wheel drive cars around the Nurburgring - 855 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,800 seven seconds faster than the old one - 856 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:11,240 it's done that while becoming more refined. 857 00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:14,040 The engine's smoother, the ride's more subtle. 858 00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:18,640 It's just a bit better all-round. It's tremendous. 859 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:24,720 It's also very easy to drive, which old cars are not. 860 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:25,960 (REVVING) 861 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,480 (GEARS CRUNCH) 862 00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,200 (REVVING AND CRUNCHING) 863 00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:32,120 (GEAR ENGAGES) 864 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,360 It's in. 865 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,920 JEREMY: Annoyingly, at slow speeds, James had a point. 866 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,600 The Aston was a tricky little sod. 867 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:46,360 -(WHINING) -That gearbox whine, it's quite pronounced. 868 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:51,680 And then there was the change action. 869 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:52,920 (REVVING) 870 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,360 (GEARS CRUNCHING) 871 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,720 (REVVING AND CRUNCHING) 872 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:04,280 On balance, I think I prefer a double-clutch system... with paddles. 873 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,120 I'm just trying to do up my shirtsleeves, because it's quite chilly 874 00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:09,960 and that will make a difference. 875 00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:13,520 Definitely getting colder. 876 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:19,680 Fortunately, the 3.4L straight-six generates so much heat, 877 00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:24,000 and there is so little shielding, that whilst my top half is cold, 878 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,240 my bottom half is toasty warm. 879 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,800 Window doesn't wind down, 880 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,040 no vents, no air conditioning. 881 00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:36,440 No air in here at all, in fact. Just heat. 882 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,120 What I'm being is casseroled. 883 00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,360 JEREMY: And soon things got worse... 884 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,680 I'm trying not to shiver. 885 00:49:47,720 --> 00:49:50,280 JEREMY: ..because a thick fog descended. 886 00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,080 This meant we had to slow down even more. 887 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,160 (REVVING AND GEARS CRUNCHING) 888 00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,640 And that made the Aston even worse. 889 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,040 (REVVING AND GEARS CRUNCHING) 890 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:05,480 (REVVING AND RATTLING) 891 00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,120 (REVVING) 892 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:08,400 (RATTLING) 893 00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,920 (CRUNCHING) 894 00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:15,480 This is very authentically '50s. I'm enjoying it. 895 00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:19,120 JEREMY (RADIO): It's sometimes quite difficult to get it into gear. 896 00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:22,000 JAMES (RADIO): I'm just going to try that in my car. Hold on. 897 00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,880 Let's have second gear. Hm. 898 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,080 I can even knock it down to first here. 899 00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,520 (REVVING) 900 00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,960 Second. No, it works. 901 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,480 No, mine's a piece of cake. 902 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:37,120 But there's no sense of satisfaction, is there, when you do it right? 903 00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,080 Yeah, there is. 904 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:44,640 JEREMY: After a little while, the fog went from thick to impenetrable. 905 00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,960 RICHARD: I can see pretty much nothing now. 906 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,040 The lights don't help and the windscreen wipers 907 00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:56,600 just move the water around on the windscreen. 908 00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,560 Literally can't see a thing now. 909 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:04,760 Fog, rain, noise. 910 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:06,160 A lot of noise. 911 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:09,840 RICHARD: Yeah, I'm quite cold now. 912 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:17,360 However, the impending hypothermia was not my main worry. 913 00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,480 -Oh, my God. -(ENGINE SPUTTERING) 914 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:22,680 It's not sounding... Yeah, it's not good. 915 00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:26,520 I'm having to slip the clutch to sort of keep it moving at all. 916 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,960 Yeah, I think I'm down to three cylinders now. 917 00:51:32,720 --> 00:51:37,600 And then I had a good old 1950s breakdown. 918 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,120 (ENGINE CHUGGING) 919 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:40,680 (FAILS TO START) 920 00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:42,720 What's the matter with it? 921 00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:46,760 I think it's the spark plugs are all fouled up and gummed up. 922 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,840 -(GRUNTS) -Well, don't tell James. 923 00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,720 No. Well, where is he? 924 00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:54,840 I don't even know where my car is and I only parked it over there. 925 00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:56,520 I can't see a damn thing. 926 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,600 No. Well, at least he won't have seen me doing this. 927 00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,920 -He could drive by. -Well... I'll... 928 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,720 You go ahead. 929 00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:06,240 Look, tell him I'm behind him, or I'm ahead somewhere. 930 00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,680 -I could be 100 yards away. -I'll get back on the road. 931 00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:11,120 -You get on the road. I'll fix this. -He'll never know. 932 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,400 Exactly. Tell him I'm having a lovely time and-- 933 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,520 -It's starting to rain, though, Hammond. -Yes, I know! 934 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,280 -Have you got a jacket? -No! 935 00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,160 (WIND WHISTLING) 936 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:24,480 JEREMY: Where's my bloody car? Has anyone... 937 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,200 Can anyone see an Aston Martin anywhere? 938 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:30,400 Hello? 939 00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,800 Hammond? 940 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:38,040 I've found a car here. It's... Oh, it's... It's a Toyota. 941 00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,000 And th-they're dogging. 942 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,400 They really are, actually. That's quite embarrassing. 943 00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:49,280 (LAUGHTER) 944 00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,560 Yeah, they're driving away now because they realise. 945 00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,040 Hello. Sorry about... 946 00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,000 (LAUGHTER) 947 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:08,520 (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) 948 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,240 Nothing to see here. 949 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,560 (ENGINE CHUGGING) 950 00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,640 Leaving Hammond to his repairs on Dogger Bank, 951 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:20,280 I made some changes in my car and set off to find James. 952 00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:24,520 Oh, yes! 953 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,200 I have improved my Aston Martin. 954 00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:32,800 All of a sudden, my car makes sense - 955 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,640 I can't hear it. 956 00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:41,080 And then I came across ASBO Man, who was immediately suspicious. 957 00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:42,520 JAMES (RADIO): Where's Hammond? 958 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,120 JEREMY: Yeah, he's in front of me. 959 00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,720 I'm driving right behind. I can see him, plain as day. 960 00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,120 JAMES: The fog is lifting and I can't help noticing that Richard Hammond, 961 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:54,960 who is supposedly in front of you, 962 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,080 is driving a Land Rover Discovery filming car. 963 00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,560 No, no. He er... He overtook it. 964 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:05,560 Er... He roared off. Unbelievable speed. I couldn't keep up. 965 00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,840 -His car's broken, hasn't it? -No. 966 00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,160 (SQUEAKING) 967 00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,160 JAMES (RADIO): Are your brakes squeaking? 968 00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,520 JEREMY (RADIO): No, they're birds. It's birdsong. 969 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:18,360 Right, James, look out. There are cows, followed by Hitler. 970 00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,160 (COWBELLS CLANGING) 971 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,240 Oh, no, it's not Hitler, it's Winston Churchill. 972 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,520 (COW LOWING) 973 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,920 JEREMY (RADIO): A cow has attacked the Aston Martin! 974 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,160 (COW LOWING) 975 00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:39,440 Don't do that! Go and attack the Honda. 976 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:44,880 RICHARD: Meanwhile, I'd got my car going again, and was starting to regret it. 977 00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:48,600 Yeah, this is quite hard work now. I'll be honest, I'm getting pretty tired. 978 00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:52,080 My... My left leg is agony. 979 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:53,200 Gear change. 980 00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:55,560 (GRUNTS) 981 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:56,920 My knee hurts. 982 00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:01,400 So do my ears, actually. I'm also quite cold. 983 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,800 JEREMY: The truth is that in the fog, at slow speeds, 984 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,880 on James's ridiculous route, 985 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:12,160 which was full of wartime leaders and attack cows, 986 00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,880 the older cars here had been hard work. 987 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,720 (REVVING AND GEARS CRUNCHING) 988 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:21,920 But as we crested the Pyrenees, the fog lifted. 989 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,680 This meant I could drive the Aston at the only speed it understands. 990 00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:34,840 Flat out. 991 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,480 (ENGINE THRUMMING) 992 00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:43,800 Providing, of course, I could get past James May. 993 00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,400 -I'm going into R mode. -(BEEP) 994 00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,600 The lights on the instruments have gone red. 995 00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:55,600 (AS BOND VILLAIN) Goodbye, Mr Clarkson. 996 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:01,680 He's going down! 997 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,440 Oh, he's going down so badly! 998 00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,720 I'm all over the back of him now. 999 00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,880 I have more power and less weight. 1000 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,680 He can come snouting around with his massive engine, 1001 00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:22,600 but as soon as we get to the curves I'll pull away. 1002 00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:25,440 Coming through. 1003 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:29,640 JEREMY: Ha-ha! 1004 00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:38,600 I was back in front, and more importantly... back in love with my Aston. 1005 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,600 What a car this is. 1006 00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:45,840 Oh! You have to drive it. 1007 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:48,840 Every gear change has to be... worked out. 1008 00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:54,120 Every steering movement thought through. 1009 00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:57,960 And you can never get to the corner and think, "I won't bother heel-and-toeing here." 1010 00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,960 You have to, or it won't go into gear. 1011 00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:10,120 JAMES: As we entered Spain, we were back as a three. 1012 00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:16,120 And soon we reached Barcelona - a city known for many things: 1013 00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:19,440 its cathedral, its cafés, 1014 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:21,600 and its interesting architecture. 1015 00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:26,080 But, actually, the most impressive thing here is this. 1016 00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:32,400 It's called the Terramar, 1017 00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:35,960 and it's the oldest surviving banked track in Europe. 1018 00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:41,600 It opened in 1923, staged one big race, 1019 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:45,840 and due to some unpaid bills, closed a day later. 1020 00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,680 For the last 50 years it's been a chicken farm. 1021 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:59,400 OK, congratulations, James. This is the steepest banked circuit I've ever, ever seen. 1022 00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:01,720 And I'm not even at the steep bit of it yet. 1023 00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:04,680 -Seventy-eight degrees at the top, apparently. -(CRIES OUT) 1024 00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:06,960 What's your plan, May? 1025 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:10,520 Well, what I thought we'd do is put a speed trap at the end of this curve, 1026 00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,280 where it goes level again, and whoever achieves the highest speed 1027 00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,080 through this banking is the winner. 1028 00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:18,240 Right. Erm... Can we have a bit of practice first? 1029 00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,120 Could I make a couple of modifications to my Aston? 1030 00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,120 Not if it's swapping it for a DB11. 1031 00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:24,960 (LAUGHTER) 1032 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,240 I can't... I literally can't get any higher than this. 1033 00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:30,360 Have we got to drive up there? We do, don't we, to go fastest? 1034 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,320 JAMES: If you go off the edge... JEREMY: Yeah? 1035 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,360 ...it's oblivion. 1036 00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,960 -No, because the tree will stop us, won't it? RICHARD: No. 1037 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,400 JEREMY: Before we embarked on our practice laps, 1038 00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,600 I set about my important modifications. 1039 00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:46,560 (DRILLING) 1040 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,440 What are you doing? 1041 00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,040 I'm giving my car air conditioning. 1042 00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:54,120 You're drilling holes in a one-and-a-half-million-pound car? 1043 00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,400 I couldn't do that. 1044 00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,600 That's the difference between you and me - I'm practical. 1045 00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:03,840 -No, that's vandalism. -It's not vandalism! 1046 00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:05,800 It's got a hole in it! 1047 00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,680 But now I'll be able to breathe and see where I'm going, 1048 00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,720 which is important when the track is at that angle. 1049 00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:13,680 That's like saying, "Westminster Abbey's in the way. 1050 00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:16,360 I'll knock it down so I get a better view." It's still vandalism. 1051 00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,640 You don't like old things, so why wouldn't you knock Westminster Abbey down? 1052 00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:24,080 -I like Westminster Abbey. -Ha! Hoist by his own petard. Another one here. 1053 00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,800 JEREMY: With the air con sorted, it was time to start practising, 1054 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:36,120 on what, over the years, has become a bumpy, potholed deathtrap. 1055 00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:38,000 (ENGINE REVVING) 1056 00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,440 Sixty miles an hour as I approach... 1057 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,960 Whoa! Big pothole there. 1058 00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,560 ..the first corner. 1059 00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:49,280 (CLUNKING) 1060 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,080 Already, I can tell it's very bumpy. 1061 00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,160 Whoa! Steering's gone very weird! 1062 01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,320 Christ! It's alarming. 1063 01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:09,200 It's bloody ridiculous! To look where you're going, you have to look up. 1064 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,560 That doesn't happen in cars. It's wrong! 1065 01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:17,800 JEREMY: Coming up to the second banked turn. 1066 01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,600 -(CLUNKING) -Christ! 1067 01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,560 The bumps are so unnerving! 1068 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:30,360 Jesus! 1069 01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:33,160 Apparently, some of them are so violent 1070 01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:37,800 they can make the car jump... four feet to the right. 1071 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:45,440 The forces being exerted on the outside tyres are unbelievable. 1072 01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,640 We are talking planetary energy. 1073 01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:55,000 Aware of this, Hammond was starting to make squeaky noises. 1074 01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:57,120 (WHIMPERS) 1075 01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:58,760 (GROANS) 1076 01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:04,600 Who said I want to go up there? Why would I go up there? 1077 01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:10,040 I'm gonna try and lift it up the banking on this one. Here we go. 1078 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,480 (CLUNKING) 1079 01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:17,400 Oh, shit! That was a big bump! 1080 01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,600 (BLEEPING) 1081 01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,760 God Al-bloody-mighty! 1082 01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:26,760 -(CLUNKING) -(CRIES OUT) 1083 01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,440 Jesus Christ! That's terrible! 1084 01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:33,720 JEREMY: Finally, the practice laps were over. 1085 01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:38,000 Oh, Christ! This... is (BLEEP) scary. 1086 01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:42,200 The problem with going around a banked turn is there's nothing you can do. 1087 01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,160 You can't slow down, you can't speed up. 1088 01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:47,120 If anything goes wrong, you're a passenger. 1089 01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:51,520 And because he was aware of that, too, 1090 01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:54,800 Squeaky Boy decided he didn't want to play any more. 1091 01:01:54,840 --> 01:02:01,120 Yeah, well, my practice laps have told me one thing - I don't want to do it. 1092 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:05,680 I've just gone right off huge motoring accidents at the moment. Right off them. 1093 01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,280 JEREMY: Having decided he didn't want to buy the farm, 1094 01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:13,800 he went off to buy a farmhouse instead. 1095 01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:16,120 So it became a two-car shoot-out, 1096 01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,600 and ASBO Man was the first to go. 1097 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:26,720 Concentrate, May. Concentrate. 1098 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,160 Give it some beanage. 1099 01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,440 (CLUNKING) 1100 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,800 Shit! That's terrifying! 1101 01:02:56,720 --> 01:03:01,280 -(CLUNKING) -Bumpy! Bumpy! 1102 01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:02,880 It's made the windscreen wipers come on! 1103 01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:22,000 Jeez! That is not a pleasant sensation, I promise you. 1104 01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:23,520 (REVVING) 1105 01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:32,800 JEREMY: Right, this is it! 1106 01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,120 Let's see how fast I can make this thing go. 1107 01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:44,240 (CLUNKING) 1108 01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:08,560 Oh, my giddy aunt! That is... Jesus Christ! 1109 01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:16,920 (CLUNKING) 1110 01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:18,720 That's bumpy shit! (BLEEP) 1111 01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,840 Oh, (BLEEP) me! (GROANS) 1112 01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:38,800 That's one of the scariest things I've ever done in a car. 1113 01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:41,880 Ever. 1114 01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:45,760 -(CHEERING) JAMES: It was. 1115 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:49,520 Well done. Well done. Well done. 1116 01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:52,800 I've got to say erm... 1117 01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:56,160 ..we weren't joking there - he really did go and buy a farmhouse 1118 01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:57,800 in south-west France. 1119 01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,920 And actually, James and I wish we'd gone with him, 1120 01:04:59,960 --> 01:05:03,080 because that was hideously terrifying. 1121 01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:04,840 -It's awful. -It really was. 1122 01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:08,120 Anyway, I have the numbers from the speed trap here, 1123 01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:13,280 and, Jeremy Clarkson, you passed it at 89mph. 1124 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,760 -Well done. -That is brave. That is brave. 1125 01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:18,920 -Was it really 89? -Yes. Well done. 1126 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:25,800 -And then, James May, you passed it at... -Thirty-two. 1127 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,720 ...93mph! 1128 01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:29,800 -(CHEERING) -Oh! 1129 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,640 James May has won a thing! 1130 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,960 -I'm staggered! He has! -He's won a thing! 1131 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:41,160 And what you've proved is, by being so speedy, 1132 01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:45,920 that modern cars are 4mph faster than they were 60 years ago. 1133 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:47,840 -Yeah. -(LAUGHTER) 1134 01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:50,440 The thing is, though, you can't actually drive your cars on the road. 1135 01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,720 Well, no, the Aston, I have to admit, at slow speed, is very difficult. 1136 01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:56,680 If you try and tickle it into gear, it just won't have it. 1137 01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:59,280 The only language it understands is violence. 1138 01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:00,960 You ram it in, and then you're fine. 1139 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:03,120 That's not what I was talking about. 1140 01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:05,880 You're not actually allowed to drive your cars on the road, are you? 1141 01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:10,280 I did, because Aston registered that one as a prototype, so I could. 1142 01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,800 Yeah, it was a bit more complicated in the Jag, 1143 01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:14,760 because it was registered as a test car, 1144 01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:18,240 so technically only a Jaguar employee can drive it. 1145 01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:20,960 -So how did you? -I had to get a job at Jaguar. 1146 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,720 -(LAUGHTER) -Seriously? 1147 01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:25,480 Yeah, I-I now work for Jaguar. I do. 1148 01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:29,440 But as my job is now done, Jaguar, I'm afraid I resign. 1149 01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:31,600 (LAUGHTER) 1150 01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:35,000 How will the news go down in Wall Street when they hear about this? 1151 01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:38,880 It will affect the share price. "Hammond rocks City with shock Jag move." 1152 01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:40,520 -(LAUGHTER) -That could be the headline. 1153 01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:42,800 Or it could be, "Hamster screws big cat." 1154 01:06:42,840 --> 01:06:45,600 -(LAUGHTER) -That would do it. That would cover it. 1155 01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:49,360 -Look, here is the... here is the truth of it. JEREMY: Yeah? 1156 01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:51,840 If you went out and bought one of those cars, 1157 01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:56,040 you wouldn't legally be allowed to drive it on the road, would you? 1158 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:58,120 (MUTTERS) No, you wouldn't. 1159 01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:00,840 So you've actually wasted everybody's time, haven't you? 1160 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,640 -A bit, yeah, -Yeah, a bit. 1161 01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:05,080 And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end. 1162 01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,840 Thank you so much for watching. See you next time. Goodbye! 1163 01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:09,800 (CHEERING)