1 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,360 (TRAIN WHISTLE) 2 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,680 (ENGINE DRONING) 3 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:59,240 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 4 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,120 -Hello, everyone. -Hello! 5 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,040 Thank you. 6 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:10,000 -Greetings, everybody. -Wow! 7 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,360 -We got a rowdy bunch in! -They are, they are. 8 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,920 Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. 9 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,640 Thank you and welcome. 10 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:24,160 And, in this edition of our car show... 11 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,840 Richard steals some sun cream... 12 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,240 I drink some wine... 13 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,600 (GULPS) 14 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,760 ...and James says "40." 15 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,880 40? 16 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,320 (LAUGHTER) 17 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,000 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 18 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:47,400 All that... All that is to come. 19 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,240 But, we begin with Jaguar. 20 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,600 Now, us three, we love Jags because they're so... they're so roguish. 21 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,240 You can take a girl for dinner if you have a Jag, and then she will pay. 22 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,280 You could go and stay with people for the weekend, 23 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,280 help yourself to all their belongings 24 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:08,640 and no one will mind because "you have a Jag". Exactly! 25 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,200 In fact, people expect it. 26 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,200 You have somebody to stay at your house who owns a Jag, 27 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,920 you've got to accept you're gonna lose some paintings. 28 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,120 And some cutlery. 29 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,440 The thing is, though, OK, even though a Jaguar 30 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,560 is an international get-out-of-jail-free card, 31 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,160 very few people actually ever buy one. 32 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,960 Who here has got a Jag? One, two... 33 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,920 Only three people in Britain drive Jaguars. 34 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,160 It's astonishing. 35 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,000 Yeah, I've actually got the sales figures here and they are pretty tragic, 36 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,320 because in the five years up to 2016, 37 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,680 Jaguar sold 200,000 cars worldwide. 38 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,760 And in the same period, Audi, Mercedes and even BMW, 39 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,600 each sold over eight million. 40 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,760 It's a staggering statistic, it really is. 41 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,280 We were talking about this in the office the other day and Mr Wilman said, 42 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,560 people don't buy Jags because they used to break down. 43 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,280 Yeah, but, that's just not true. 44 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,840 And we decided to prove this 45 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,880 by taking The Grand Tour this week to Colorado. 46 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,560 (BELL TOLLS) 47 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,560 (BIRDS SCREECHING) 48 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:31,000 The car I've chosen is, I think, the best car Jaguar ever made. 49 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:36,280 The V8 super-charged XJR. 50 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,040 It's cool without being Cool Britannia. 51 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,760 It's caddish without being laddish. 52 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,680 It's...violent without being vicious. 53 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:50,240 And it is just the last word in sophistication. 54 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,680 Hannibal Lecter had one and that says it all because 55 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,560 the last we saw of him he was on a plane, scot-free, 56 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:02,000 eating a district attorney's head. 57 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,720 Soon I reached the meeting point, where I found James, 58 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,920 who'd bought an XK8 convertible. 59 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:14,160 Here we are, look. A big cat near an old dog. 60 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,160 -Greetings, May. -Moron. 61 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,280 JAMES: It's not a Subaru! 62 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,440 You're supposed to be upholding the reputation of the Jag driver. 63 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,680 -Why have you bought that? -Because it's excellent. 64 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,120 -It isn't. -It is. 65 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,360 -This was a very poor Jaguar. -This was a very good Jaguar. 66 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,360 You could go camping in the wheel arches of it! They're so high up. 67 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,200 They looked all right when they were super-charged and lower but this is... 68 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,840 They didn't work properly when they were super-charged and lower 69 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,560 because they had a terrible ride. 70 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,040 The one thing you get from a Jag is a nice ride. 71 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,040 You're disconnected from the world, that's the point. Anyway... 72 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,000 And those wheels! There's no "anyway" about it. 73 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,320 That's the best Jag probably ever made. 74 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,320 -Hmm. No. -Well, it is. 75 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,480 Tell me what's wrong with that? 76 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,680 One of the wheels is odd. 77 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,840 Yes, ah, I know exactly what's happened here. 78 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,120 Previous owner's had a puncture. 79 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:21,880 He's simply borrowed a wheel from another car to use. 80 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,360 -And he's gonna give it back? -Of course he is. 81 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,120 -Because he drives a Jag. -Exactly. 82 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,440 And look in here! 83 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,760 It looks as if there's been a knife fight in the car. 84 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,200 That's because he went to stay with some friends, obviously, 85 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,520 thought, "I'll borrow their cutlery" 86 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:41,720 tucked it into his trousers and then he's cut his seats, that's what's happened. 87 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,800 At this point, Mr Hammond hoved into view. 88 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:49,120 -God, is that a Mark X? -That is a Mark X. 89 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,480 JAMES: That's a properly villainous Jag. 90 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,440 -That that is a proper Jag. -Yeah. 91 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,600 Whatever you do, OK, do not tell him that. 92 00:05:58,640 --> 00:05:59,920 No, no. 93 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,960 -Hammond, you idiot. -What? 94 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,160 We're supposed to be upholding the reputation of Jaguar, 95 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,760 you've brought an antique, you've brought an old piece of furniture. 96 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,680 I am celebrating and revelling in the glories of Jaguar. 97 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,200 This is 1967 420G. 98 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,960 This front end started with this car. That's the Jaguar look. 99 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,040 The forehead lamps, the narrow grill. 100 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,240 Hammond, seriously. What is that? 101 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,200 It's a 420G. This was the favour-- 102 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,880 -No, no not that. That. -This? It's my jacket. 103 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,040 I thought, a bit of style. We're in Jaguars. 104 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,640 There's no style in the jacket at all. 105 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,920 It's riddled with style! 106 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,280 Some of your jackets are terrible, but I can't-- 107 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:42,040 RICHARD: Anyway, this was favoured by every villainous bank robber and baddie 108 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,760 in and around England in the '60s. 109 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,040 -How much did you pay for it? -£6,500. 110 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,360 -What? -That is a lot of car for six-and-a-half grand. 111 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,280 -Look at the size of it! -Hammond, that is 1,000... 112 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,560 No, wait, £2,500 more 113 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,040 than I paid for a super-charged Jaguar. 114 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:02,040 That is Jaguar's embarrassing attempt to recapture their own design 115 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,400 that started with this, the four head-lamps, the narrow grill. 116 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,520 This is definitive. Your car is derivative. 117 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,400 JEREMY: And Hammond wasn't finished there. 118 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,760 Look at the size of this! 119 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,520 Imagine how many oil paintings, borrowed, I could get in there. 120 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,840 JAMES: Smells terrible. 121 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,760 -Tool kit. -Let me have a look. 122 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:22,720 -That's for opening windows. -It is, no this is... 123 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,520 Not necessarily for fixing the car! (LAUGHS) 124 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,600 That's for cutting through somebody's fence. 125 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,520 This is for undoing the paintings from the walls. 126 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,800 All the Jaguar toolkit is just for burglaries. 127 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,560 RICHARD: It's got a jemmy in it! 128 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,240 (LAUGHTER) 129 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:51,040 JEREMY: At this point we set off into the heart of Colorado, 130 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:55,160 eager to demonstrate the magnificence of our cars. 131 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:03,040 Now it is telling me here that the traction control has failed, 132 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:07,320 the stability control has failed, and that the anti-lock brakes have failed. 133 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:12,560 And that's brilliant, because Jaguar obviously realised when they made this car 134 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,240 that drifting would one day become very popular, 135 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,520 and driver aids like this would be unwelcome and unnecessary. 136 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,240 So they were designed to break, and they have done. 137 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:32,600 RICHARD: This particular 420G is from 1967. Quite well-equipped. 138 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,440 This row of toggle switches here on the dash, six of them. 139 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,640 Wiper. Look at that! 140 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,800 Look at... Oh. 141 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:45,400 Yeah! That's the wipers there. 142 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,960 And then this is... They won't turn off now. 143 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,200 This is the fan. That doesn't do anything at the moment. 144 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,760 These are features. 145 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,440 This is character that has evolved over the years. 146 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,560 These are the beauty spots, 147 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,080 or the slight squint to one eye that makes a person beautiful. 148 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:06,360 If anything... If anything... Oh. The glove box has come open. 149 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,440 I'll close that now. 150 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,920 -(GLOVE BOX OPENS) -It's done it again. 151 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,520 JAMES: Normally I'd say at this point, now we're alone, viewers, 152 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,560 let me talk you through a couple of things that aren't right with my car. 153 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,360 I'm afraid I can't do that because everything in here works perfectly. 154 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,960 There is, if you look in the left-hand dial, which is the rev counter, 155 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,560 there's an engine warning light on 156 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:36,360 to remind me that the engine warning light works, and that it's there. 157 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,120 When you brake, like that, 158 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:44,840 the brake pedal judders for you, so you know you're braking. 159 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,640 That's brilliant! Why doesn't everybody do that? 160 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,960 I will give Hammond's car one thing, 161 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,640 it does give good rear view mirror. 162 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,080 It looks villainous. 163 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:03,000 The Kray twins actually had 420s just like Hammond's Jag. 164 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,200 If you're watching this in America and you don't know who the Krays are, 165 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,280 they're the reason the Mafia never got to London. 166 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,760 They were too scared of the Krays. 167 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,720 Some incredibly strong smells in this car. 168 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,320 There's a sort of gluey, resiny smell. 169 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,200 And burning. 170 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,680 Yeah, burning. 171 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,320 (CAR DOOR CREAKS) 172 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,120 It's having a smoke! 173 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,760 It's from the '60s. Everybody smoked in the '60s. 174 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,200 -It would smoke, it's a Jag. -That's what's it's... 175 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,480 You have a smoke, mate. 176 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,880 It's seen this nice view and thought, "I'll have a pipe and contemplate it." 177 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,560 Like, like a red native. What are they called? 178 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,200 -Native American? -Yes, that. 179 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,240 JEREMY: Once Hammond's car had finished its smoke, 180 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,880 we resumed our fuss-free journey, 181 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,240 and I got my foot down. 182 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,520 It's still got tons of poke. Look at that! 183 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,400 Which went well. 184 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:09,280 It's just not changing gear. It's... There's neutral. 185 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,880 Right, now it's in, I think, second. 186 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,440 Jeremy, why are we going so slowly? 187 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,760 I'll tell you exactly why, because the only German part in here, 188 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,840 the Mercedes gearbox, has gone wrong. 189 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,800 That was a sad lapse of judgment on Jaguar's part. 190 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,440 Any idiot knows you don't put German bits in a car. 191 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,120 -Manually changing gear. -What is wrong with it? 192 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,880 It's selecting a gear for the moment and then just sticking with it. 193 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,360 I can't wait for it to choose reverse. 194 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,800 (LAUGHS) 195 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:47,320 This problem with shoddy German engineering couldn't have come at a worse time, 196 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,840 because we were now arriving at the location 197 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,280 for Mr Wilman's first challenge 198 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,600 and I'd have to fix things sharpish. 199 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,600 RICHARD: Now look. 200 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,480 "Now look" what? 201 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,960 Don't let us distract you Professor, Doctor. 202 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,000 Listen, I have worked this out all by my own! 203 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:09,480 The gearbox has overheated, OK? So I'm gonna put some fluid in it. 204 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,840 How much do you need to put in? 205 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,160 Don't know. How much do you need to put in? 206 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,760 -Put enough in. Go on. -Yeah, put some in. 207 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,440 It's like watching a really, really old drunk pour himself a Scotch! 208 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,240 (RICHARD WHEEZES WITH LAUGHTER) 209 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:26,880 "Just enough, man." 210 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,840 The concentration face is coming out, there it is. 211 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:35,520 Good to see a man operating at his absolute limit. 212 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,720 With the problem solved, it was time to get cracking. 213 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,320 (ENGINES REVVING) 214 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:53,440 We'd be competing against one another here at an off-road course, 215 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,640 which Mr Wilman was convinced 216 00:12:55,680 --> 00:13:00,720 would break our ancient Jaguars into 1,000 pieces. 217 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:08,360 However, James had worked out a way to prove him wrong. 218 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,400 OK, are you ready? In three, two, one, go! 219 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:19,000 -It's a long car. It takes a long time to go past. -That's what it is. 220 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,640 I'd better brake for this left-hander, change down. 221 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,400 Oh, concentrate! 222 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,640 And approaching the jump. 223 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,960 JEREMY: He may get air here. 224 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,720 There you go. 225 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,000 Know this, if you're turning over now to watch 226 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,480 Man In A High Castle, something of that nature, 227 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:38,880 James is gonna finish this course. 228 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,360 Which, eventually, he did. 229 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,040 -And...across the line. -There he is. 230 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,680 RICHARD: Yeah. 231 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,320 JEREMY: James May, you just set a lap record. 232 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,280 Yes! 233 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,600 The fastest ever lap 234 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,840 in a Jaguar XK8 around this track. 235 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,040 As you can see, the perfect track day car. 236 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:07,760 This Jaguar has done a lap of this very demanding race circuit, and it's perfect. 237 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,760 JEREMY: Next up was me, in the tight-fit XJR. 238 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,640 It is quite snug in here. Look, really. 239 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:20,720 -There is a problem. If I hit the top of your head... -Oh, hang on! 240 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,920 RICHARD: That's what that's for! 241 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,400 It's a helmet hatch. That's what it is. 242 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,560 You'll almost certainly be killed, though. 243 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,120 You know when they take the top off a boiled egg? 244 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:35,280 -You do the countdown. -In three, two, one, go! 245 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,720 (ENGINE REVS) 246 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,560 Yeah, there's some dust. 247 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:46,240 And there we are! I have unleashed 385 horsepower! 248 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:53,120 And I would now demonstrate that this 17-year-old car had lost none of that horsepower. 249 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,920 Or any of its razor-sharp handling. 250 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,680 Oh, yeah. Just feel the tail going nicely. 251 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,280 Oh, bollocks! It didn't. 252 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,640 I have slightly got that wrong, 253 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:11,200 but we can edit that out and cut to this, and it looks good. 254 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,400 God, he's all over the place. Look at that! 255 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,320 What you're watching here is liquid poetry. 256 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,000 And flick it in! 257 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,840 JAMES: He's completely messed it up. 258 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,240 RICHARD: Yeah, he's just... What... What is he doing? 259 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,520 I've had a spin there. A slight spin has gone. 260 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,160 I'm blind as a bat now. 261 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,560 That's... That's added to his time quite a lot. 262 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,600 There we go, speed up again now. 263 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,040 And... 264 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,120 You ready? 265 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,960 ...across the line. 266 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,040 1:54. 267 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,920 JEREMY: But the important thing is, 268 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,680 that's a lap record for the XJR, and it's still working. 269 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,000 (DRUM ROLL) 270 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:58,160 JEREMY: Finally, it was the turn of Ronnie and Reggie Hammond. 271 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:03,800 Here we go. In three, two, one, go! 272 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,680 Here we go, unleashing 4.2-litre straight-six. 273 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,160 JEREMY: Because Hammond's 50-year-old Jag was a senior citizen, 274 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,680 we hoped he'd take it easy. 275 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,360 However... 276 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,080 Let's do this properly. Come on! 277 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,680 JEREMY: Oh, his boot's come open. 278 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:27,200 -He hasn't really got the point of this from the start. -No. No, he hasn't. 279 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,280 You've got a bit more than that in you. I know you have! 280 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,040 You've got more to give me. Give me more! 281 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,480 JEREMY: Oh, no, look! Tons of black smoke. 282 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,480 (LAUGHS) Yeah! 283 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,040 Ha-ha-ha! Come on! 284 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,520 RICHARD: Back at the finish line, 285 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,800 my colleagues were not impressed with me. 286 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,400 JAMES: There's oil everywhere, and coolant. 287 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,040 All you had to do was go round pretending it was a bit dramatic 288 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,520 proving that a Jaguar worked properly and was durable. 289 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,880 I gave it a bit of the beans in a corner, bit of a tail-out. 290 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,720 This lot at home are fooled. They think I was trying my hardest. 291 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,520 I pulled a face. I went like that. 292 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,120 -What did you do? -Gave it-- 293 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,640 And look at the back of your car. 294 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:26,600 Smashed rear window. Boot lid, no other word, off. 295 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,360 Does it actually start? 296 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,720 (ENGINE STRUGGLES) 297 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,320 (METALLIC CLANGING) 298 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,120 (ENGINE OFF) 299 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,960 -I think you threw a rod. -It's all fixable. 300 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,760 What was that? What was that "glang" noise? 301 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,880 It could be a rod going through the side of the wall. I can fix this. 302 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,760 And sure enough ... 303 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:58,320 I would have bet my left ear that Hammond would never be able to get that Jag going, 304 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,120 and yet, he has! 305 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,640 Turns out the actual damage was nowhere near as bad as we thought. 306 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,160 All I had to do, straighten the boot lid, 307 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,120 top up the water in the radiator, that did need doing, that was it. 308 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,760 Yep. 309 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,800 Never noticed the sun roof before. That's good. 310 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,200 So, there we are, 311 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:26,240 proof you can go off-road racing with three Jaguars, 312 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,840 and all of them will survive. 313 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,240 Well, it is just good that we're back as a three, 314 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,240 with the three cars running well. 315 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,440 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 316 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,200 I think we got away with that. They never noticed. 317 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,000 No, nobody. Yeah, we're good. We're good. 318 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,960 -Anyway, shh, shh, shh. -Yeah. 319 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,520 I can't believe, I simply cannot believe, how robust those Jags were. 320 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:07,160 I can, they are tremendously well-made cars, they really are. 321 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,480 Swiss watchmakers, they gasp sometimes when they look at an old Jag and go, 322 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,040 "I cannot believe how much perfection there is in there." 323 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,760 Exactly, and we will come back to that later on, 324 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,400 but right now it's time to slide across an icy puddle of chat 325 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,440 on Conversation Street. 326 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,040 (JAZZ MUSIC) 327 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,360 (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) 328 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,200 -That hurt? -Yeah. 329 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,600 Right now, we begin with this. 330 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,680 You know the fire brigade these days 331 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,800 have been issued with those big hydraulic, erm, poultry shears? 332 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,200 You mean the jaws of life? 333 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,040 -Whatever they're called. -Jaws of life. 334 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:47,040 If you give a man a tool like that, he is going to use it all the time. 335 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:51,000 Which means whenever the fire brigade now turn up at the most minor car accident, 336 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,040 out they come, they cut the car's roof off. 337 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,960 -Yeah, they do. -Are there any firemen here? 338 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,040 No, because they're too busy out there cutting people's roofs off. They are! 339 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,480 Loads of them out there. It is getting out of hand. 340 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,560 There was a story recently, somebody had a pretty much brand-new Range Rover Sport, 341 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,080 it had done 400 miles. 342 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,640 They had a bit of a shunt. I think we've got a picture. 343 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,200 It's broken a headlamp, but that's about it. 344 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:15,200 Fire brigade come along and immediately cut the roof off, there you go. 345 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,720 -(LAUGHTER) -I mean, that's made everything worse! 346 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,000 I can beat that, OK? Couple of years ago there was this woman driving along. 347 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,920 There'd been a minor accident, she wasn't involved, 348 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,720 but the people who were, were standing around. 349 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,640 She said, "Do you want to sit down in the back of my car?" 350 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,880 Fire brigade turn up, cut the roof off her car. 351 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,000 -What, they... -There, look! 352 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,240 RICHARD: That hadn't been in the crash? 353 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,600 They'd gone in through the doors, said, 354 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,840 "We'll cut the roof off, easier to get you out." 355 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,440 The doors are working, look! 356 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,360 RICHARD: She was being a good Samaritan and that's what she got? 357 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:47,120 -Do you know they actually did this to the police? -Who, the fire brigade? 358 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,280 The police turned up at the scene of an accident, a very minor one. 359 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,080 The people were unhurt but it was raining. 360 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:55,240 They said, "Would you like to rest in the police car?" (LAUGHS) 361 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,720 No, please tell me... They didn't! 362 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,320 The fire brigade cut the roof off the police car! 363 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,480 -(LAUGHTER) -That's gonna escalate. 364 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,560 I think what happened later on 365 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,400 was the police went in their convertible police car round to the fire station 366 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:11,200 and blew up the fire engine in a "controlled explosion" which is what the police do! 367 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,560 It's gonna build! 368 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,520 I kerbed the wheel on my car the other day and I thought, 369 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,920 "I hope the fire brigade didn't see me do that. They'll cut the roof off!" 370 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,920 They wouldn't cut the roof off your car because that's only a Golf. 371 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,520 -What they like to do is cut the roof off a Porsche! -That's more exciting. 372 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,120 You say at the pub, "I cut the roof off a Porsche!" 373 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,080 It's better than a Golf or a Hyundai. 374 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,440 -It's a better story. -Exactly. 375 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,920 I know why they're doing it. 376 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,680 To be brutally honest, they're doing it because they can. 377 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,280 They should take a lesson from the Queen. 378 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,280 She's been the Queen now for, what, 65 years? 379 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:45,200 Now, she has the constitutional right and power... (LAUGHS) 380 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,720 (LAUGHTER) 381 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,040 Weirdly this is... this is, actually their display team. 382 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,080 This bit better go in, 383 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,240 because that's gonna be un (BEEP) ing editable, that is! 384 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,280 They should take a lesson from the Queen. 385 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,080 -She's been in power now, what, 65 years? -Yeah. 386 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:06,360 She has the constitutional right to declare war on another country, OK? 387 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,240 She can do that, and she never has. 388 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,000 How long would you last before you declared war if you had the ability? 389 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,320 -I'd give it two days, and it'd be all-out war. -Exactly. 390 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,080 "I'm declaring war on France. That's what I'm doing." 391 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:20,160 Well, you would if you could, that's the problem. That's why they do it. 392 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,600 I sympathise with the fire brigade, because I bought a chainsaw the other day. 393 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,640 -Oh, my God! Are you sure? -No, I did. 394 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,080 But when you've got a chainsaw, you use it for everything. 395 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,360 I was thinking, "I've got to carve the Sunday joint. I'll get the chainsaw." 396 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,280 Opening a letter, get the chainsaw. Bread, use the chainsaw. 397 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,720 Your eyebrows could do with a bit of a trim. 398 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,880 (LAUGHTER) 399 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,960 As soon as the show's over, they're coming off with a chainsaw. 400 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,760 -You've got it, so you use one. -Exactly. 401 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,640 -They've got jaws of life? -Jaws of life. 402 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,840 They're gonna use it, and they are doing. 403 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,520 We've got an important message actually for all firemen and firemenwomen. 404 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,160 Stop cutting the roofs... 405 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,320 (LAUGHTER) 406 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,680 Sorry! 407 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,120 (LAUGHTER) 408 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,880 I think that's right. That's right, mate. 409 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:04,560 -It's equal opportunities, what's the matter with you? -It's a modern world. 410 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,200 Stop cutting the roofs off our cars or we'll come round 411 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,400 and cut the roof off your painting and decorating van. 412 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,040 (LAUGHTER) 413 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,360 That's covered the fire brigade. 414 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,880 -Yep. -Hope we don't need them any time soon. 415 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,200 So do I, cos we're gonna be trapped in a car, "Please!" 416 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,720 Aston Martin's launched this. It's the new Vantage. 417 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,960 -(CROWD MURMURS) -RICHARD: That looks great. 418 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,560 JEREMY: Absolutely spectacular. 419 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,600 That actually looks like the one-off Aston they made for the Bond film. 420 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,800 Oh, from the back especially. Have you got a picture of it from the back? 421 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,360 I mean, that is just a spectacular-looking thing, 422 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:39,280 and it's been fitted with the twin-turbo charged four-litre V8 from Mercedes. 423 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,840 -The AMG engine. -Yeah. 424 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:42,680 And that is just brilliant. 425 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,360 It's the work actually of the man with the best name in the motor industry. 426 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,680 No, second best name. 427 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,640 Man with the best name is Lamborghini's chief test driver. 428 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,560 -He's called Max Venturi. -Yeah. 429 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,800 -He's never had sex. -No, no, no. 430 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,200 -He's young and good-looking as well. -Yes, I know. 431 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:02,000 Anyway, the guy at Aston, their technical officer, is called Max "Szwaj". 432 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,000 -What? -Max "Szwaj". 433 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,280 -"Szwaj"? -No, "Sz". 434 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,880 -That's what I said "Szwa". -No, it's "Sz". 435 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,400 -You sound like a broken dentist drill, "Szwaj". -You're just being racist. 436 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,200 -I'm not! -You are, the man's Irish. 437 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,560 -I'm not being racist! -Just cos you want him to be called Paddy O'Malley! 438 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,520 I didn't say... You can't accuse me of being racist on television! 439 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,840 Anyway, we'll gloss over your frankly... 440 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,960 -I'm not. That is... -It's embarrassing. 441 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,640 They've also... He, I should say, Max "Szwaj", 442 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:34,520 has also put the Mercedes engine in the DB11. 443 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,920 And I love that engine, and I love that car. 444 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,120 That's gonna be one hell of a combination. 445 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,000 RICHARD: Could be amazing. How much will it be? 446 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,440 Well, weirdly, not much less than the V12. 447 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:48,160 But I think that the V8 will be better cos the engine will be lighter. 448 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,800 So what you're saying, in fact, is smaller is better. 449 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,280 (LAUGHTER) 450 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,160 -No. -(LAUGHTER) 451 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,960 You know Chinese companies like to give themselves Western names, OK? 452 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,960 -I know what you mean. -Well, there's a Chinese spare part company. 453 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:11,960 They do brakes and what have you, that's called, erm, this. 454 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,840 (LAUGHTER) 455 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,880 Well, well, it's... 456 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,000 -Thing is-- -It's memorable, isn't it? 457 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,600 Thing is, though, if you type that into Google... 458 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,480 -Oh, don't! -(LAUGHTER) 459 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:29,360 You've really got some strong images for 27 pages before you get to your brake disks. 460 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,920 Sitting there an hour later with eyes like that. 461 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:36,960 "Only wanted some brake pads, and now I've seen things I can't unsee!" 462 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,880 What were you looking for when you came across...? 463 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,360 (LAUGHTER) 464 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,800 What had you put in? 465 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,600 Had you been through all 27,000 pages to get to that one? 466 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,200 I was just looking at (BEEPS). 467 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,000 -Oh! -(LAUGHTER) 468 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,720 And that is the end of this week's Conversation Street. 469 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:55,760 -(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) -That's very kind, thank you. 470 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,800 Thank you, and now it's time to get back to our film 471 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:03,800 in which we're proving that Jaguar's reputation for unreliability 472 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,160 is completely unfounded. 473 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,840 Yes, we pick up the action at a hotel where, because we're driving Jags, 474 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,800 we'd spent the night in rooms as far away as possible from the reception desk, 475 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:21,080 and its pesky checking-out requirements. 476 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:25,240 JEREMY: The next morning we were up way before the hotel staff, 477 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,240 to get back on the road. 478 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,040 (CLATTERING) 479 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,160 -Morning. -Morning. 480 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,000 What's with the towels? 481 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,080 Well, they had this sign that explained 482 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,960 how environmentally damaging and expensive it is to wash them, 483 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,120 so I've saved them the trouble. 484 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,800 -That's good thinking. -That's kind. 485 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,760 That is. 486 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,400 JEREMY: Because we'd had such an early start, 487 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,920 we decided after a little while to pull over 488 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:13,800 and admire some of the beautiful rock formations. 489 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,240 -(ENGINE SPUTTERING) JEREMY: Do you see the sandstone has been 490 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:21,760 eroded by time, wind, and the pressure of water seeping through it. 491 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,200 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) 492 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,880 It's baffling, isn't it, how a simple stream 493 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:33,440 can have carved such an extraordinary gorge. 494 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,920 I don't think there's any point continuing to do that. 495 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,920 I think you're going to just melt the starter motor. 496 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,480 Now, it's a heck of a battery, though. 497 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,680 JAMES: How have you managed to break it so quickly? 498 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,400 -Literally we left the hotel... -You've had it five minutes! 499 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:48,640 ...40 minutes ago. 500 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,560 It's something I've done. It's certainly not the car. 501 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,920 -Look at those cross braces. JEREMY: Mm. 502 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,560 I fitted those as well, that it didn't have before. 503 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,920 JEREMY: Because the problem was bound to be minor, 504 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,000 James and I left Richard to it 505 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:08,280 and continued onwards to our next destination. 506 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,120 JEREMY: This is one hell of a road! 507 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:21,240 Surface is good. Scenery is fantastic. No traffic. 508 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:26,520 These were ideal conditions for a Jag like mine. 509 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,320 One of the things I absolutely love about the XJR 510 00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:35,800 is the way the faster you go, the more it starts to sort of float. 511 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,520 It's like you're sort of powder skiing. 512 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,840 (IMITATES SKIING SOUNDS) 513 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:46,960 It actually encourages you to go faster because you're so relaxed. 514 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:52,680 This, let's not forget, is a 155-mile-an-hour machine. 515 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,840 Nought to 60, five-and-a-half seconds. 516 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:59,000 It's quick, even by today's standards. 517 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:07,080 Right, problem is fuel pump not working, that's because there's no power to it. 518 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,040 But the really clever thing about a Jaguar 519 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,720 is you get lots of spare stuff you can use 520 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,320 when a problem arises, should it, which is very unlikely. 521 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,880 In this instance, I disconnected this which powers the electric aerial. 522 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,800 That has got power. Obviously I can do without the electric aerial. 523 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,400 I didn't want to use it anyway. 524 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,640 Hook this up to the fuel pump, job done, we're away. 525 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,120 JEREMY: Sure enough, he was soon back on the move... 526 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,120 I love this thing. It's a beautiful little car. 527 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,800 ...unlike me. 528 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,520 (INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER) 529 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:46,280 Not that this is much of an issue for someone who's driving a Jag! 530 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,240 Yes, Constable, however, 531 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,080 if I could draw your attention to the first page of my passport here, 532 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,080 "Her Britannic Majesty..." that's the Queen, 533 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:59,920 "...requests and requires in the name of Her Majesty, 534 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:04,560 all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer..." that's me, 535 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,120 "...to pass freely without let or hindrance." 536 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,560 (POLICE RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES) 537 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,440 JAMES: Did you get away with that? 538 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,240 Yeah, I just hit him with the passport thing. 539 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,360 Very good, yes. 540 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,600 JEREMY: Honestly, it works every time. It never fails in America. 541 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,200 I also told the officer I was travelling with Mrs May, 542 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,680 the British Prime Minister. 543 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,880 And he believed me! 544 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:40,240 Meanwhile, quite a few miles further back... 545 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,600 (STEAM HISSING) 546 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,360 That's...just having a rest. 547 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,680 MAN: Oh, it's a Brit and it's overheated. 548 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,080 No, no, it's fine. 549 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,200 (MAN LAUGHS) 550 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,680 Do you know why the English like warm beer? 551 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,240 Because Lucas makes refrigerators, too! 552 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:10,000 -Good, thank you so much! -Yeah, you bet! 553 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,160 Oh, this isn't helping our case. 554 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,200 Higher in the sky, 555 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:27,480 James and I had arrived at the location for our next challenge... 556 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,400 ...a runway. 557 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,000 And once our colleague had arrived, 558 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,720 I explained what Mr Wilman had planned. 559 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:40,960 We'll go from here, one at a time, 0-100, 560 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,080 and then back to 0 again. 561 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,960 You've got to stop before the end of the runway, and really do have to stop, 562 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:52,400 because this airport has a... a slightly unusual feature. 563 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,760 Perched on the summit of a rocky mountain, 564 00:31:55,800 --> 00:32:01,080 Telluride is the highest commercial airport in the US. 565 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,000 And at the end of the runway, there is... 566 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,560 ...nothing. 567 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,680 Just a 1,000 foot drop to an uncomfortable end. 568 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,520 Here we go! 569 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,440 Yes, there it is! 570 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,480 It has got some shove, that. 571 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,080 Forced induction of course is what you need at this kind of altitude. 572 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:30,600 That's why super-chargers were fitted to the Spitfire and the Messerschmitt. 573 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,440 That's 80... 574 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,160 90... 575 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,400 There's 100! 576 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,440 (BRAKES SQUEAL) 577 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:46,120 Oh, the brakes are medium good and that's a worry... 578 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,760 ...for Hammond and May. 579 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,760 On the plus side, that's further proof of the power of a Jaguar. 580 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:57,560 On the negative side, Jeremy isn't now going, "Argh!" which is a shame. 581 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,320 It is, the other thing we need to bear in mind 582 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:05,200 is that his car is very much the most powerful one here, and you're going next. 583 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,760 Why am I going next? 584 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,520 Because I just said you're going next, and that's like a bagsie. 585 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,960 -That's how a Jag driver would work. -Right! 586 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,280 (ENGINE REVS) 587 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,680 Three, two, one, begin. 588 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:24,840 Ohh, yeah! I think it's lost some ponies over the years. 589 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,680 The big question is, will his ancient XJ6 590 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,800 be able to beat the yardstick I've laid down? 591 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,200 Er...55. 592 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,720 60. 593 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,040 JEREMY: Still accelerating. 594 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,640 You're gonna have to work a bit harder, Jaguar! 595 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,360 You really are, because that's not good enough! 596 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,560 (LAUGHS) Still... 597 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:53,800 85. 598 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:58,680 Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to witness the death of Richard Hammond, again. 599 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,800 Nearly! 600 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,240 -100! -(BRAKES SQUEAL) 601 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,680 (YELLS) Oh, my God! 602 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:11,440 (BRAKES SCREECH) 603 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,200 RICHARD: Ah! 604 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,800 And...shut down. 605 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:21,680 (SNIFFS) 606 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:27,480 JEREMY: How much excrement? 607 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,600 Erm...well, brown seats would have been a better choice. 608 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,360 -Yeah. Your braking? -Erm... Vigorous. 609 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:38,200 Would you like to know how much further you went than me? 610 00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:40,720 -Yeah, go on. -0.4 of a mile... 611 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,440 (BOTH LAUGH) 612 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,400 ...of a mile! 613 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,520 JAMES: Finally it was my turn and I was going to need as much runway 614 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,640 and as much streamlining as possible, 615 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,200 for good reason. 616 00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:58,320 Now we're alone, viewers, I'm gonna admit to you 617 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,720 that my car has gone into "limp home" mode, 618 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:05,040 which is not ideal for this sort of thing. 619 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,360 JEREMY: In three, two, one. 620 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,440 (ENGINE REVS) 621 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,200 40. 622 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,240 He's moving. I mean, just barely but... 623 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,640 50. 624 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,960 (ENGINE REVS) 625 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,200 60. 626 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,200 He's still accelerating! 627 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:44,120 70. 628 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:45,960 75! 629 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,280 80 miles... 80. 80 miles an hour. 630 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,360 90! 631 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:01,640 Oh, my God! 632 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,520 JAMES: Argh! 633 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,120 Ow! Ooh! 634 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,520 Ow! 635 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,960 Having completed the 0-100 and back to 0 test, 636 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,120 we got back on the road. 637 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,680 Well, all credit to James's XK8. 638 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:35,280 He's come out of it unharmed and the car pretty much, too. 639 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,680 If anything, the engine seems to have become even smoother, 640 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:43,760 almost as if it's gained 50% more cylinders. 641 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,720 But that's the thing about Jags, they just get better. 642 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,040 JEREMY: With all three cars still running well, 643 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:58,040 we headed off to face our final and toughest challenge... 644 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,160 ...in the ski resort of Telluride. 645 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,680 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 646 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,800 -They applauded your death. -They did. 647 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,160 -They applauded your death. -Thank you very much! 648 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,040 I have to say though, James, it really was extraordinary 649 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:20,080 that you went down that 1,000-foot fall, not a scratch. 650 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,120 Completely unharmed. 651 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,160 It's weird that Jag don't make more of that in their commercials. 652 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,760 Anyway, we'll pick that up later on. 653 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:30,200 Now though, it's time for Celebrity Face Off. 654 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,080 (APPLAUSE) 655 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:46,280 Yeah, and today we are asking another important question, and it's this. 656 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:51,880 Who is the world's fastest actor, whose middle name is George? 657 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,960 Surprisingly hard to find contenders for this one, but we've managed it. 658 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,840 So please welcome Luke Evans and Kiefer Sutherland! 659 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,560 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 660 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,880 Jack Bauer! How are you? 661 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,200 You. How are you? Have a seat. 662 00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,200 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 663 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:16,560 No messing about this week! We are not messing about. 664 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,640 (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) 665 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,600 Can I just explain before we start? Yes. 666 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,000 -You get a Canadian flag because you're Canadian? -Yeah. 667 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,360 -But if you win it'll become British. -It'll become British. 668 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,800 -Because you were born... -I was born in London. 669 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,360 -Born in London, so do you have a British passport? -I do. 670 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,480 -And you're a Canadian citizen? -Yes. 671 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,600 -But you live in America? -Yes. 672 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,040 -(LAUGHTER) -I am a well-travelled man! 673 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,640 Yeah. You travel the colonies. Erm... 674 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,280 (LAUGHTER) 675 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,440 -You're Welsh whatever happens. -Good. 676 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,520 Now, this business of middle names... 677 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,640 -You've just got the one middle name? -Yes. 678 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,520 -Which is George? -George, yes. 679 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,440 -You... -I've got the five. 680 00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,080 -(LAUGHTER) -Which are... 681 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,600 Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland. 682 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,280 -Ah, wow! -(CROWD MURMURS) 683 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,880 -So, your dad-- -My father owed a lot of people money! 684 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,640 (LAUGHTER) 685 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:14,400 I think he would just say, "I can't pay you, but I'll name my son after you." 686 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:15,640 (LAUGHTER) 687 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,280 Now we'll get onto you, Luke, if we may. 688 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,240 Obviously, your new blockbuster is Beauty And The Beast. 689 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,760 But you're best known, certainly among this audience, I should imagine- 690 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,280 -I've a feeling I know which one it is. -Fast and Furious. 691 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,280 -Yeah. -Fast and Furious 6. 692 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:31,720 -Yeah. -(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 693 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:37,440 Now, what fascinates me about this Fast and Furious business is somehow 694 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:42,280 you make a living from driving around, smashing up very expensive cars. 695 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,280 I mean, how is that even possible? 696 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,520 -(LAUGHTER) -You tell me. 697 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,440 -(LAUGHTER) -Touché. 698 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,680 -It must be a riot. -It is a riot, yeah. 699 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:54,040 Especially when they... they make them from scratch, 700 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,360 like the flip car that I drove in Fast 6. 701 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,440 That was hand-made by this genius in Los Angeles 702 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,960 who makes all the cars in the films. 703 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,520 -And the flip car was-- -It's got a tongue on it... 704 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,080 It's basically like a door wedge, basically, 705 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,320 which had, I think it was a Formula One engine. 706 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,200 But it was just the shell, so the sound was deafening. 707 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:15,640 We all had to have ear plugs and stuff and... But it was great. 708 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,720 All the wheels could crab, so they all could turn at the same time, 709 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,000 so you go could go underneath lorries, trailer lorries. 710 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,240 -They're tricky to drive, I presume. -Very tricky. 711 00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:28,680 It was, erm...it wasn't a normal sort of gear shift. It was a ratchet. 712 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:33,960 So you'd have to press a button and then you had to pump the clutch 713 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:38,080 then you had to ratchet it up to first, and it was so complicated. 714 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,520 -While doing acting? -While doing acting, yeah. 715 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:41,760 (LAUGHTER) 716 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,720 See, he's so cool, why would you have me on the show? 717 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,600 No, I mean, you do crash even more cars than Hammond does. 718 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,000 -(LAUGHTER) -I've got the figures here. 719 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,960 You've destroyed, or the Fast And Furious people, 720 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,960 -1,478 cars... -Wow! 721 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,120 ...in the franchise, which is quite a lot. Someone worked out the cost. 722 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,760 -You've only done £3.7 million worth of damage. -That's not bad. 723 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,280 Jason Statham's got through 148 million quid's worth of cars. 724 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,040 (LAUGHTER) 725 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,480 Actually, Richard Hammond has provided me with a question here. 726 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,920 He said, "Is it because he can't drive very well?" 727 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,400 I did not say that! I didn't! Why would I fall out with Jason Statham? 728 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,080 -I didn't say that! -You thought it. 729 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,080 Can he drive? I've always wanted to get Jason... 730 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,880 I have no idea! Yes, I'm sure, yeah. I... 731 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,880 -Are you sure he can't drive? There you go, Hammond. -I didn't ask that! 732 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,360 I'm sure he can. 733 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,160 Did you crash any cars? Not to the extent they do, but did you? 734 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,840 No, actually, I was thinking how cool all your stories were. 735 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,200 Mine was so embarrassing. 736 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:38,920 Er...I had a scene, all I had to do, 737 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,840 and a very normal car, the wheels didn't crab, 738 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,800 I just had to drive it to the mark, get out, draw my weapon and say something. 739 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:49,680 And that day they had a really wonderful actress. 740 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:53,320 I had a bit of a crush on her, and I was really trying to show off. 741 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:57,960 And I spun the car a bit, threw it into a stop, threw open the door, 742 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,840 pulled out my weapon, said my line and slowly the car passed me. 743 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,640 (LAUGHTER) 744 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,560 I had forgot... I had forgot to put it in park. 745 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:11,080 And er...and it hit the fence that the camera operator was sitting on and he fell off. 746 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,120 (LAUGHTER) 747 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:16,120 The girl never talked to me again and that was the end of my day. 748 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:20,080 We'll get onto cars cos you both started with Mustangs, I think I'm right in saying. 749 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,560 -Yeah. -Well, sort of yeah. 750 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,960 -You were very late to... -Yeah, I was 30 when I passed my driving test. 751 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,160 I'd never been to LA, and I had to go there for a screen test, 752 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:34,600 and the first time I got in a car on my own was a hire car from LAX Airport, 753 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:38,080 which was a Mustang, and then I went on the 405 to West Hollywood. 754 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,400 -Shat myself. -That'll teach you how to drive! 755 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:41,760 (LAUGHTER) 756 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:45,880 My hands were so wet that they were sliding off the steering wheel. 757 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:50,360 -And the steering wheel's on the wrong side of the road. -I mean, five lanes! 758 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:54,320 I do love saying wrong side of the road in front of people who aren't... (LAUGHS) 759 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,320 It's the right side of the road. We're the idiots. 760 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,320 No, we're not. No, we're not! 761 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,120 Steering wheel's on the wrong side, on the wrong side of the road. 762 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,320 -The 405 is a nightmare. -It's hell. 763 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,960 -I'd not want to do my first solo drive. -Yeah. 764 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,640 -Now your first car was a-- -My first car was a 1967 Mustang. 765 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,480 And er...I had a couple of jobs in New York, 766 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,800 that allowed me to buy the car. 767 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,560 Then I was gonna drive it from New York to Los Angeles, 768 00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,160 where I had another job waiting for me. 769 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,560 And I was driving across Texas, 770 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:28,720 and this was the cheaper model of the 1967 Mustang. 771 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,800 It was a straight-six, not a lot of power. 772 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,920 And I guess there was an 80-mile-an-hour wind coming east. 773 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,560 (LAUGHTER) 774 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:40,560 I was trying to go west, and the wind was more powerful than my car 775 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,080 so in the middle of the highway it just stopped. 776 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,280 (LAUGHTER) 777 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,720 And, I'm not a mechanically-inclined guy 778 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,840 so I got rid of the Mustang as quickly as I could. 779 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,480 You, on the other hand, are mechanically-minded, aren't you? 780 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:57,880 Yeah, well, my best mate as I grew up was a farmer's boy 781 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,960 and so I was always on the farms with him. 782 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,560 And there was, like, tractors and quads and motorbikes. 783 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,320 -Are you a bike enthusiast? -My dad is a big biker. Like, big, big biker. 784 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,120 So I was always on the back of his bike. 785 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,280 Pillion passengers through the Brecon Beacons, you know? 786 00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,120 Did your dad have a 1600E? 787 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,440 That was... Yeah, when I was born, 788 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,240 he had a 1600E Cortina in azure blue, 789 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,240 and when I was born, he put my name on his number plate. 790 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,160 I grew up with this very special car. 791 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,360 Well, now you're into my specialist subject here. 792 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,120 You may have to tune out for a moment here, because to... 793 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,280 I don't think it was available in blue, the 1600E. 794 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,680 No. It wasn't. But you'll need to ask him the answer to that. 795 00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:40,440 -Why, is he here? -He's there. 796 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,000 -Was it, how did you get...? He's brought his dad? -Brought my dad, yeah. 797 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,640 -Have you brought your dad? -No. -That'd be hilarious. 798 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:48,160 (LAUGHTER) 799 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,120 How did you have a blue Cortina 1600E? 800 00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,520 Well, the Mark IIs came out in the silver fox, 801 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,960 but after a few years they started to fade. 802 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,280 -So I bought one and I had it re-sprayed. -You painted it? 803 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,480 -I thought, I sort of... -Stylish for a Valley boy! 804 00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,680 -(LAUGHTER) -Azure blue, I mean, come on! 805 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:07,880 I had a 1600E. It was amber gold. They were the coolest cars. 806 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,280 -Do you remember it? -Yeah, I do remember it. It was beautiful. 807 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:14,120 I mean, I remember that I chipped the... the walnut, er, dashboard, 808 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:18,840 cos I was in the car like this with my teeth, and he'd braked and I split. 809 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,120 I literally have guilt even now and I was only five at the time. 810 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:26,360 Your dad was cross with you for smashing your teeth out cos he braked too hard? 811 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,960 Oh, yeah, the car was everything, like yeah. 812 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,800 You smashed your face in on the dashboard? 813 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,960 Yeah, I lost my front teeth, but it was the walnut veneer that was the... 814 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:38,280 -This is the Poor Parenting Award here, this is. -(LAUGHTER) 815 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,920 Now we've got to find out, 816 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,200 well, basically whether we're gonna call you Canadian or British. 817 00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:45,120 -Who wants to see their laps? -(CHEERING) 818 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:48,160 -So, Kiefer, we're gonna have a look at yours first. -OK. 819 00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,440 So, here we go. 820 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:53,640 JEREMY: It's a beautiful day once again in the heartland of England. 821 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,640 Accelerate. Accelerate, brake. 822 00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,600 That's the right way to do it. Oh, cutting that corner nicely. 823 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,200 It's tricky here cos you've got to slow down then get on the power, 824 00:46:04,240 --> 00:46:06,320 which you've done very well as you go left 825 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,800 and into what we're calling The Difficult Bit. 826 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,960 And there we go. 827 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,000 Oh, that's tidy. That is tidy. Not exuberant. 828 00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:17,640 (CHUCKLES) 829 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,880 (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER) 830 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:25,720 Through the banked turned, the Gravelsel, and back down toward the Difficult Bit Two. 831 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,280 I must say you are holding that very nicely through there. 832 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:32,920 We had the traction control wound back so you've got a loose rear end. 833 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:37,240 Now it goes very slippery. Oh, nicely held there. 834 00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,640 On the power ready to go down the straight bit that isn't really very straight, 835 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,920 like our other track. 836 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,720 Hell, let's see if you've got any bottle. 837 00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:50,120 Supposed to be flat through. Oh...that is actually very quick through there! 838 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,680 That is very nicely done indeed. 839 00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:55,440 Hard on the brakes and through the last corner 840 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,600 also very nicely and across the line. 841 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:01,160 -That is tidy! -(APPLAUSE) 842 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,800 Tidy lap. It was quite good. 843 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,240 -You've got people that are very helpful out there. -Yeah. Well, they do. 844 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,400 They teach you how, but then you've got to go solo. You have to do it. 845 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,240 -So how was yours, good fun? -I loved it. 846 00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,240 I didn't want to get out. They had to peel me out of the car! 847 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:19,880 -Who'd like to see the lap? -(CHEERING) 848 00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,760 Come on. Let's have a look at Luke's. 849 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,880 (ENGINE REVS) 850 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,720 -(YELLS) Come on! -(LAUGHTER) 851 00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,720 OK, right. Also cutting the corner, taking it... 852 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,920 I think it's a good idea to go sl... Oh, ha-ha. 853 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:42,240 Just about hold it together and onto the gravel. 854 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,480 Listen to that exhaust popping away, that's good for a two-litre engine, that. 855 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,200 Oh, exuberant! Coming wide through there, that looks good. 856 00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:52,400 This gravel is crazy! 857 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:57,440 It's not necessarily the fastest way to have the arse of it hanging out like that, 858 00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,120 but it does look good. 859 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,480 Right, yeah, looking good through there as well. 860 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,360 This is keeping it tidier, this is better. 861 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:09,120 It can get a bit fish-taily down here if you're not careful, but it's all right. 862 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,800 And onto the slippery, dusty bit. 863 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,440 Keeping it wide. 864 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,680 Now, flat-out. Do you keep it flat through the last corner? 865 00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:20,800 Now I should brake, but I'm not gonna. 866 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,640 Are you not gonna brake? No, you are not! 867 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,080 Oh, though, that is fast, nearly losing it, 868 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,200 but just got it together in time to brake for the last corner. 869 00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:33,760 Nicely held through there and across the line! 870 00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,120 -(APPLAUSE) -Well done. 871 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,760 Well done. 872 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,560 Right. I have got your times here. 873 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,800 (CLEARS THROAT) 874 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,040 So, Kiefer Sutherland, 875 00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:53,680 you did it in one minute...17.8. 876 00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:56,720 -OK. -I'll pop that up there, now. 877 00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,120 (APPLAUSE) 878 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,720 Luke Evans. One minute... 879 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,440 ...21.3. 880 00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,120 (CROWD GROANS, APPLAUSE) 881 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:15,000 So, there's nothing we can do about that. 882 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,760 LUKE: I loved it. 883 00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,000 -Now you're British! -Oh, great! 884 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,720 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 885 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,640 Can't resist it. 886 00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,840 So there we are. 887 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,480 Just in case you're thinking, "Oh, no, I'm gonna have to hang myself..." 888 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:37,960 -(LAUGHS) -We've had a 1:24.4. 1:24.1. 1:23.6. 1:23. 889 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:41,080 You're actually there the fifth fastest. 890 00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:42,720 So that's really not a bad time. 891 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,760 It's just his was stellar, absolutely stellar. 892 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,640 There we are, ladies and gentlemen, 893 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,720 Luke Evans and the fastest actor in the world 894 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,960 whose middle name is George, Kiefer Sutherland! 895 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,440 -(CHEERING) -Thank you very much. 896 00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,840 -(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) LUKE: Brilliant! 897 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,560 Now, thank you. 898 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,080 Now, tonight we are proving 899 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:09,560 that old Jaguars are reliable and brilliant. 900 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,320 Yep, and we rejoin the action just as we are about to embark 901 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:17,000 on one of the biggest challenges us three have ever faced, 902 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:21,040 avoiding the expense of ski passes and hiring all the kit, 903 00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,240 by going skiing in our cars. 904 00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,920 JEREMY: Easter Sunday, Telluride. 905 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:41,560 Rich pickings for a man with a Jag. 906 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,400 Hello, my dear. 907 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,760 JEREMY: Having found somewhere to park, 908 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,200 Hammond checked into the hotel. 909 00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,560 Check-in please. Thank you. Can I borrow your pen? Thank you. 910 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,760 WOMAN: You can fill that out. And right here is your key. 911 00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,200 -Room number, Wi-Fi. -Oh, thank you very much. Thank you. 912 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:12,400 I, meanwhile, headed for the restaurant. 913 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,200 (GULPS) 914 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,440 (EXHALES) 915 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,520 (GULPS) 916 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,400 It's definitely corked. 917 00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,600 (SIGHS) Sorry. 918 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,240 The next morning, it was cold outside. 919 00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:08,000 So, we needed warm clothes for our trip up the mountains. 920 00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:12,560 James therefore went shopping, Jag-style. 921 00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,320 And I didn't. 922 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:25,160 Welcome to the hotel, sir. I could take your... your coat. 923 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,440 Thank you very much. 924 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,280 -Had a pleasant trip? -Yes. Yes, thank you. 925 00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,360 -Your hat? -Oh, well, thank you. 926 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,560 Perhaps your bag as well, sir. Thank you very much. 927 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,320 If you'd like to see my colleague on reception that would be marvellous. 928 00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,720 -Excellent. -Thank you very much. Thank you. 929 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:46,600 Right, that's my warm weather gear sorted out. 930 00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,440 I actually nicked that idea from Peter Sellers. 931 00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:54,200 Don't think he'll mind because of course, he had a Jag. 932 00:52:54,240 --> 00:52:57,960 Once we were fully equipped with suitable clothing, 933 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,840 we drove straight past the lifts, 934 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,320 and hit the gradients. 935 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:04,920 Ha-ha, slopes. 936 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:09,840 Here we go. Speed and power. 937 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:15,120 Unfortunately, for once, speed and power didn't seem to do the trick. 938 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:19,520 Oh... Ski, damn you! Come on ski, Jag! 939 00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:24,320 We're going to have to admit this isn't working. 940 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,920 Luckily, James then had a brainwave. 941 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,440 (TOOLS CLATTERING) 942 00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:33,360 And down at the resort's workshop, he borrowed some metal poles, 943 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:37,400 which he used to shackle our cars together. 944 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:44,840 If this works, I'll eat my own head. 945 00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,560 Six-wheel drive, all at the same time. 946 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:53,520 Right, everybody select drive in three, two, one... Gently. 947 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,480 (POLES CLANKING) 948 00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:01,280 Yes! I think we've got this. 949 00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:04,280 (LAUGHS) Yeah! 950 00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,000 We're like The Human Centipede! 951 00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,440 Yeah, no, I got that wrong. 952 00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:15,680 (CARS BUMPING) 953 00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:19,160 Oh, hello... James is going a bit skewy. I'll give him more power. 954 00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:21,360 (ENGINE REVVING) 955 00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,560 Hammond, you're jack-knifing me towards the edge. 956 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,600 Or Clarkson, one of you, somebody. 957 00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,800 I'm not doing anything! You're steering. 958 00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,000 You're at the front. You're the head of this caterpillar! 959 00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,800 JAMES: I'm not steering! You are. It's jack-knife... 960 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:36,480 No, it's the edge! Stop, stop! 961 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,840 JAMES: Right, everybody in reverse. 962 00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:45,920 Three, two, one, gently go. 963 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:50,520 -Jeremy, where are you going? -You're the one that steers us going backwards. 964 00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,160 I wasn't steering you that way, why are you there? 965 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:57,280 -You've jack-knifed us Hammond, you stupid idiot! -I'm not doing that! 966 00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:00,200 I'm not! 967 00:55:00,240 --> 00:55:02,520 Eventually, after much bickering... 968 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,640 JEREMY: You're pushing me over the edge, you blithering... 969 00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,200 JAMES: When you're going backwards, you're steering you. 970 00:55:07,240 --> 00:55:09,680 -Whose idea was this? -Hammond, you're doing it again. 971 00:55:09,720 --> 00:55:12,040 ...we started to get the hang of it. 972 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:22,040 I knew this would work. All you got to do is co-ordinate the brains. 973 00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:25,440 This is what comes from many, many years of working together, 974 00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:28,560 that intuitive bond that links us. 975 00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,600 Bond of hatred. 976 00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:49,080 JEREMY: And there we are, the summit. 977 00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,160 12,500 feet. 978 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,760 We have made it! 979 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,320 JAMES: Ho-ho! 980 00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,240 Good. Right, let's unhitch. 981 00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:13,400 JEREMY: Having bypassed the lifts and cable cars, it was time to start skiing. 982 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,440 Which was a bit of a worry. 983 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:17,200 Don't look over that edge. 984 00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:20,680 But there's a bit of... It gets really steep. 985 00:56:20,720 --> 00:56:23,560 RICHARD: People do this for fun, yeah? 986 00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,000 JAMES: Not in old Jags. -Oh, yeah, you're right. 987 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:31,560 If you went wrong here, look. You'd have time to phone your insurance company. 988 00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,400 RICHARD: You'd start filling the form out. 989 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,160 There's the airfield, look. 990 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:39,480 RICHARD: I can see Heathrow from here. 991 00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:43,800 JEREMY: But, since the only way down was down, we set off. 992 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:46,680 Gingerly. 993 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:53,000 Just an ordinary drive. Just an ordinary drive. 994 00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:56,480 Oh... Oh. 995 00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,920 Jeez, that's... Don't look. 996 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:04,480 Erm...there's an... Oh, God. 997 00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,880 It's in case I need to bail out. 998 00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,880 Steering wheel's working a bit... Ah! 999 00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:21,280 Ooh! 1000 00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:26,000 Oh, gawd. What you've got to be wary of is losing the back of the car. 1001 00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:29,200 Ooh! Oh, cripes. 1002 00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,520 Practise braking. Practise braking. 1003 00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,400 Nothing. 1004 00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:39,640 Just going to write a book while we don't stop. Still not stopping. 1005 00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:42,560 Picking up speed! Oh, my God! 1006 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,640 JEREMY: Got no control now. 1007 00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,680 (YELLS) Ah...it won't stop! 1008 00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:52,880 I'm going to hit that tree. There's nothing... No. 1009 00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:55,240 Jesus Christ! 1010 00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:58,840 Mercifully, the gradient eventually levelled out, 1011 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:03,520 but then it became very narrow. 1012 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,760 Oh, my God! Look at the drop on our left. 1013 00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,440 JAMES: Holy shit. 1014 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:14,720 It's... Oh, God. 1015 00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,240 (GASPS) Oh! That's genuinely alarming! 1016 00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:22,280 JEREMY: I'm crabbing. 1017 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,160 Bloody hell. 1018 00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:30,880 Just, why don't you just go in a straight line? 1019 00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:34,240 Just please, just briefly... (GASPS) 1020 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:38,600 JEREMY: James, is your car crabbing as well for absolutely no reason? 1021 00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,680 JAMES: Yeah, it's absolutely terrifying. 1022 00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,800 RICHARD: Oh. Oh. 1023 00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:47,040 Don't look at the view. Don't look at the drop. 1024 00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,720 (GASPS) 1025 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:53,440 JEREMY: (BEEP) ing hell, this is scary. 1026 00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,320 Ah...oh. 1027 00:58:56,360 --> 00:59:00,000 (GASPS) Oh, shit. Shit, shit! 1028 00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,960 Having not fallen over the terrifying drop, 1029 00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,360 we then had to drive down one. 1030 00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,040 Holy mother of God! 1031 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,320 Oh, my God! 1032 00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:17,480 Oh, my giddy aunt. 1033 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,960 This is quick now. 1034 00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,520 Oh-ho-ho! 1035 00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:29,560 I'm gonna change up a gear. That was a mistake. That was a massive mistake. 1036 00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,640 Just go in a straight line, you bastard. 1037 00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,480 Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. 1038 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:44,560 (YELLS) Oh! 1039 00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:50,040 But none of us died, and then Jag-skiing started to come together. 1040 00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:04,480 Oh, yes, I'm slalom skiing now is what I'm doing, and I'm doing it well! 1041 01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,360 Ya-ha-ha! 1042 01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:13,840 JAMES: Ho-ho! 1043 01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:18,320 And let's be honest, after one day on normal skis, 1044 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,400 you'd still be pretty rubbish. 1045 01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:25,760 Whereas here, we are absolutely brilliant. 1046 01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:29,240 Love to do this with other people on the slopes at the same time. 1047 01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,000 Could actually run into a snowboarder. 1048 01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,360 "Oh, I'm sorry, was that annoying? 1049 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,240 Now you know what it feels like." 1050 01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:41,040 Eventually, we started on the final leg down into the town, 1051 01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:44,480 and Richard and I got into a bit of a race. 1052 01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:47,480 Come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on. 1053 01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:49,960 Give me a little bit more go. 1054 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,600 Oh, bumpy, oh, very bumpy. Very bumpy. 1055 01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:56,480 -Oh, yes. -Oh, no! 1056 01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,160 Whoa, that was a biggy! 1057 01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:04,080 Meanwhile, a little further back... 1058 01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:09,240 Oh, gawd! I've got a brake warning light on. 1059 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:13,560 I don't know what that means. Pad wear? System failure? God knows. 1060 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,000 JEREMY: There's the town. 1061 01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:21,920 We're coming in hot and stylishly. 1062 01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:26,080 And we wouldn't have to walk to the hotel in silly boots. 1063 01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:28,760 We'd simply drive there. 1064 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:30,600 Oh, hello. 1065 01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,720 Whoa! 1066 01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,800 (YELLS) Whaagh! 1067 01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:39,280 RICHARD: Oh-ho-ho-no! 1068 01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:43,200 JEREMY: Oh ho-ho-ho! Oh, there's been an accident. 1069 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,800 (ENGINE REVS) 1070 01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:47,840 RICHARD: Ah. JEREMY: Damn. 1071 01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,200 RICHARD: Right. 1072 01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:52,920 Only we... 1073 01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:57,200 No, look, we meant to park them there, they look good. 1074 01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:58,920 JAMES: Oh, no! 1075 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:03,800 Just keep working, brakes, for another ten seconds or so. 1076 01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,160 Exactly where we wanted them to be, 1077 01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:08,400 and that's where they are, and that's good. 1078 01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:13,160 Er...anyway, the thing is that we got here... well, there, 1079 01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:17,920 without a single problem, and with a very definite conclusion. 1080 01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,640 -Buy an XJR. -Whoa, no, hang on! 1081 01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:25,200 The point of this exercise was to demonstrate Jaguar's reliability as a make. 1082 01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:27,360 Yes, but we have, and we've also... 1083 01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:29,440 What? Oh. 1084 01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,360 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1085 01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,200 Oh, er... 1086 01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,120 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1087 01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:44,960 Brilliant, so we get all the way to the very end, 1088 01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,360 and then you ruin it. 1089 01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:49,880 It was hardly my fault, was it? The brakes failed! 1090 01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,040 -(LAUGHTER) -But now you've just told everybody! 1091 01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,440 And now they all think that Jaguars have faults, and they won't buy one. 1092 01:02:55,480 --> 01:03:00,080 Which means this entire programme has been a complete waste of time. 1093 01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,520 And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end. 1094 01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:05,360 Thank you so much for watching, see you next time. Goodbye. 1095 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:08,320 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)