1 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:03,131 Thank you. Thank you. 2 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,599 Thank you very much. Thank you. 3 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:19,147 Danke. Danke und willkommen in der Grosse Tour 4 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,981 which this week comes from Germany! 5 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:26,019 - Ja. We're here. We're here. 6 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:31,159 Specifically... Specifically, we are in the city of Stuttgart. 7 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:33,461 Except we nearly weren't. 8 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,564 Because one of your local Green politicians 9 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,832 tried to ban us from coming here. 10 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,469 I don't want to embarrass the poor man on television. 11 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,837 So I've hidden his identity. 12 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,277 Yeah. 13 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,044 - Yeah. - That's good. 14 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:54,448 That's appropriate. 15 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:57,185 I certainly don't want to tell you his name. 16 00:01:57,185 --> 00:02:00,621 Which is... Andreas Kasdorf. 17 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,258 - Uh... 18 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,727 Not a popular man. But you elected him. 19 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:10,198 Anyway, he says that we'd be unwelcome here 20 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,834 because this is a very bicycle-friendly place. 21 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:18,472 It... It isn't. It's the home of Mercedes and Porsche. 22 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,342 - And Germany-- 23 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,512 Germany... 24 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,649 Germany is the cradle of the automobile. 25 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,818 The car was actually invented here. 26 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,554 It's the last place on Earth you can drive a car 27 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,790 as fast as it will go on the motorway. 28 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,527 - It's true. - All true. 29 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,630 This is a true fact. This is a true fact. 30 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,233 The Germans are the only people on Earth 31 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:48,369 who really know how to make a car. 32 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,103 - This is-- 33 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:53,241 - It's a true fact. - It's true. 34 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,442 I'll tell you a story. 35 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,244 There was a Mercedes engineer 36 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,912 and a Jaguar engineer having dinner one night. 37 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,315 The Mercedes engineer said, "Ve haf..." 38 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,716 Forgive the accent. 39 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,953 "Ve haf a quality test at ze Mercedes factory. 40 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,557 Every night, ve take a car off ze line at random. 41 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,726 Ve put a cat in it, close ze doors. 42 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,296 If... When ve come back in ze morning, 43 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,965 ve know the door seals are vorking correctly 44 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,067 if ze cat has suffocated." 45 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,005 - Nah. 46 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,774 The Jaguar engineer said, 47 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,643 "We've got something very similar at our factory. 48 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,545 We take a car off the line at random. 49 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,914 We put a cat in it. We close the door. 50 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,883 And we know the car's been built properly 51 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:39,019 if, when we come back in the morning, the cat hasn't escaped. 52 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,855 - That is... 53 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:45,025 - True story. - Yeah. True story. 54 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,560 The strange thing is, 55 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,729 it isn't just cars that are built well here. 56 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,932 - It's absolutely everything. - Except wine. 57 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,967 Yes, except wine. Sorry. 58 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,336 - Well, come on! 59 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,306 - Now come on! 60 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,309 I wouldn't wash my hair in it. 61 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,111 It is literally everything, though. 62 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,479 German soft toys, 63 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,448 better than anybody else's soft toys. 64 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,883 Cameras, kitchen appliances. 65 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,520 The Queen of England, she's German. 66 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,555 She is. That's why she's still working 67 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,758 even though she's a hundred and forty seventeen years old. 68 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,461 There is no word here for "that'll do". 69 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:23,931 There is no ambiguity at all in Germany. 70 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,799 You certainly see this with films. 71 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,569 The names you have for American films. 72 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,171 I've got some here. Remember Airplane? 73 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,106 Airplane, yes. 74 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,675 In Germany, it was called 75 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:38,512 The Unbelievable Journey In The Crazy Airplane. 76 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,714 That is a comprehensive title. 77 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,115 You know where you are with that. 78 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,951 What was Jaws? 79 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,987 The Weisse...? 80 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,756 The White Shark. 81 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,424 It should have been The Massive Shark 82 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,361 That Explodes Eventually. 83 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,496 You know where you're going with that. 84 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,898 What was... What was Basic Instinct? 85 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,600 - Just not 86 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,703 A Brief Glimpse Of Sharon Stone's Vagina? 87 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,238 - Shall we get on with the show? - Yes, good idea. 88 00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:07,475 Because in tonight's car programme... 89 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,479 Richard walks a dog. 90 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:15,015 James hangs around a gym. 91 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,951 And I say "Good shot." 92 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,554 Good shot. 93 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,122 But before all that, I'd like to talk 94 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,792 about the original Honda NSX. 95 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,494 We have a picture of it here. 96 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,729 When that car was launched in 1990, 97 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,531 it was considered remarkable 98 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:33,567 because it was fast and exciting like a Ferrari, 99 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,703 but unlike a Ferrari of the time, 100 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,171 it was also incredibly reliable 101 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,441 and very, very easy to drive. 102 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,676 Honda killed that car off 12 years ago. 103 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,546 But finally, they've come up with a replacement. 104 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:49,417 So I've been down to our track to see what it's like. 105 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,086 This is it. 106 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,025 It costs £138,000. 107 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:02,430 Around the same as a Porsche 911 Turbo S. 108 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,465 And it has the futuristic lines 109 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:08,802 you would expect of a rare-breed Honda. 110 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:13,674 Power comes from a 3.5 litre twin-turbo V6. 111 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:17,778 Backed up by a squadron of electric motors. 112 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:24,184 Together, they give the NSX 573 horsepower. 113 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,319 So you would assume the performance 114 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:29,957 is something to shout about. 115 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,492 Now, if you ask Honda 116 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,461 for the technical information on this car, 117 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,464 they will email you a file so enormous 118 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,198 that it actually breaks the internet. 119 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,802 And yet, nowhere in it does it mention the 0-60 time. 120 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,572 They simply refuse to tell us what it is. 121 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,875 I know 0-60 times are irrelevant in the real world 122 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,711 and they're rather childish, but look, this is a supercar. 123 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,013 It's top trumps, isn't it? It's important. 124 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,349 So I'm gonna find out what it is for you using this. 125 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,852 It is a data-o-logger. 126 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,825 Right. Put it in Track mode. 127 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,494 Here we go. Launch control. 128 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,396 Foot on the brake. Mash the pedal. 129 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,006 Phwoarh! 130 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,512 I'm not sure that was quite as neck-snapping 131 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,679 as a Nissan GTR, 132 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,781 but it wasn't far off. 133 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,050 Let's see what I did. 134 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,288 3.2 seconds 0-60. 135 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:41,529 Which means it isn't quite as fast as a McLaren 570S, 136 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,532 or a 911 Turbo S, 137 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,867 or a Ferrari 488 GTB. 138 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,769 That's why they're not mentioning it. 139 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,806 Honda is happy to quote the top speed. 140 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:57,578 Which is 191 miles an hour. 141 00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,146 But that too is slower than its rivals 142 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,149 from Ferrari, Porsche, and McLaren. 143 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,956 So has the new NSX got anything 144 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,724 in the performance department 145 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:14,061 that makes it rise above its supercar peers? 146 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,998 Well, yes, actually. 147 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,801 Firstly, there are the brakes, which are fly-by-wire. 148 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,003 There is no physical connection to the pedal. 149 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,038 That's because they have to harvest energy 150 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,474 to recharge the battery system. 151 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,976 It's a much cleverer version of that 152 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,911 than you get on the Porsche 918, 153 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,581 a car that costs five times as much. 154 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,015 Then there's the hybrid system. 155 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,750 It uses not one electric motor, 156 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,919 as you might expect, but three. 157 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:42,856 And the way it uses them is well good. 158 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,161 The one at the back 159 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,997 is the wingman for the petrol engine, 160 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:53,601 filling the power gaps when the turbos lag. 161 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:58,606 This gives the NSX ballistic pick-up at any speed. 162 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:04,311 Look, instant shove. It's lovely. 163 00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:14,622 But it's the two at the front that are the real party-piece 164 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,624 because they drive a wheel 165 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,226 each totally independently of each other. 166 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,261 Which means this car has 167 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:25,098 a sort of space-age four-wheel drive. 168 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:28,135 And that means extraordinary things happen 169 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,337 when you throw it into a corner. 170 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,146 So, as you approach a corner like this one, 171 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,081 computers are measuring the speed, 172 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:44,652 they're measuring G-force, steering input, and so forth. 173 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,253 They're adding power to the wheel 174 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,889 or taking power away from the wheel as it's needed. 175 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,661 Then you get perfectly flat, perfectly controlled corners. 176 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,831 It is a bit like driving a Honda Civic! 177 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,934 There are people who would say 178 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,270 that technology like this in a car, 179 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,006 helping it feel secure, will make it dull. 180 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,641 But it doesn't feel dull to me. 181 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,242 It feels tremendous. 182 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,881 I'm going fast and I'm relaxing. 183 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,749 What's wrong with that? 184 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,620 But the futuristic four-wheel drive 185 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,590 isn't the only piece of 23rd-century engineering 186 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,292 on the NSX. 187 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,829 The aerodynamics, for example, are so clever, 188 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,563 they can cool all the motors 189 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:34,134 while providing vast amounts of grip-enhancing downforce 190 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:38,906 to the front and rear wheels. 191 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,074 And it does all this without anything 192 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:45,012 as old-fashioned as huge wings and spoilers. 193 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,993 It's not just the technology, which is brilliant, 194 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,796 it's that that technology is on this car. 195 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,765 Yes, we have hybrid supercars. 196 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:07,134 We have the LaFerrari, the McLaren P1, 197 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,601 the Porsche 918. 198 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,403 But they're in the million-pound bracket. 199 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:14,341 This is only an eighth of the price of the LaFerrari, 200 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,409 and it's actually cleverer. 201 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,312 - I love this. 202 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,115 I love the way it looks. I love the sounds it makes. 203 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,918 I like the sophistication of the hybrid drive. 204 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,419 I like the performance. 205 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:29,322 I like the steering. I like the interior. 206 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,824 I really, really like it. 207 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,360 And I find myself wanting one quite badly. 208 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:40,000 The original NSX made owning a supercar 209 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,569 less painful and less expensive. 210 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:48,241 This has done the same for the hybrid supercar. 211 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,411 It really is a worthy successor. 212 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,393 James, Honda... 213 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:10,263 Honda took ten years to develop that car. 214 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,231 And? 215 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,400 Ten years is an enormous amount of time 216 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,534 to do a car. 217 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,003 You can't criticise something 218 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,105 because people spent too long on it. 219 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:21,074 People aren't gonna say "I'm not gonna look round Cologne cathedral. 220 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,443 They took 600 years to build it!" 221 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,212 Ooh. 222 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,414 Anyway, I love it. I love that car. 223 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,916 Anyway, look, we've heard 224 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,683 what you've got to say about the NSX. 225 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,485 Now it's time to hand it over 226 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,154 to a man who thinks that... 227 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,057 Well, potted plants are a Communist plot. 228 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,927 Yep. Here he comes. It's the American! 229 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:48,501 Come to England. Shit weather. Shit beer. 230 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,570 JEREMY: And he's off! 231 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,973 Clearly in a tremendous mood. 232 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,608 But it is very wet out there. 233 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,310 Wipers flapping away 234 00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,313 as he powers onto the Isn't Straight. 235 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,681 Looking good. 236 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:02,983 Where I come from, 237 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,118 this thing's badge is inaccurate. 238 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,220 Kind of like a loser's Cadillac. 239 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,189 And yet, strangely, we're still waiting 240 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,959 for Cadillac's hybrid supercar. 241 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,461 Right, now, flying into Your Name Here, 242 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,364 this really is a good day to have four-wheel drive. 243 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,499 I'm sure even the American can appreciate 244 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,202 the Honda's hi-tech features. 245 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,872 What is this Space Invaders shit? 246 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,439 JEREMY: Clearly not. 247 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,742 Right, full power for the Isn't again. 248 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:33,313 Electric ain't for engines. It's for lights and chairs. 249 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,183 JEREMY: He is not a modern man, is he? 250 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,618 Right, carving through the standing water. 251 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,587 Into Old Lady's House. 252 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,355 Slithering about a bit. 253 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,893 Now he's leaning on it for the Unsettled section. 254 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,795 Past the hangars and up to Sub Station. 255 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,964 Hard on those wi-fi brakes 256 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,933 for the second-to-last corner. 257 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,102 How's he gonna manage through here? 258 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,070 Yes, stepping out a bit under power. 259 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:58,738 Through Field Of Sheep, 260 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,308 keeping it tidy through there, and across the line! 261 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,785 Right, 262 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:17,524 let's see now where the NSX goes on our lap board. 263 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,192 Let's have a look. 264 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,997 - Oh. - Oh, dear, James. 265 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,270 James. 266 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,307 Why didn't you tell us it was very slow? 267 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:38,278 - It's streaming wet! - So hang on a minute. 268 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,281 We've had a review from a tortoise and a wet lap. 269 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:44,117 Which means we've learnt precisely nothing. 270 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,954 Um... Yeah, you're right. Nothing at all. 271 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,989 - Nothing at all. - So let's move on. 272 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:53,260 Yes, let's do that by popping some loose change in the ticket machine 273 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:56,729 so we can park awhile on Conversation Street. 274 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,974 OK, now... 275 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,976 - I've got some conversation. - Good. 276 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,980 Last night at midnight, there was alarm in Stuttgart. 277 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,515 The Green Party that runs the city 278 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:20,187 asked everyone here not to use wood-burning stoves 279 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,990 and not to drive their car today. 280 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,558 - Because of the smog. 281 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,365 Am I making this up? 282 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,401 - There it is. 283 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,507 I can't... 284 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,909 I can't imagine anything clearer. 285 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,911 That is... That is gin-clear, 286 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,246 but according to the Green Party... 287 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,847 I'm not making this up. 288 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,049 You're all from Stuttgart, yes? 289 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,483 There is an alarm today 290 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,320 - because of the smog. - Yes. 291 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:59,159 How clear is it on a good day? 292 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:02,762 - We've got a photograph here of Beijing on now. 293 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,564 Let us compare and contrast 294 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,135 Beijing on a smoggy day with Stuttgart on a... 295 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,869 - Not the same. - ...a smoggy day. 296 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,405 Can I just ask, what would you have done 297 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,042 if they'd have actually ordered you not to drive cars? 298 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,543 At the moment, it's an advisory. 299 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,311 If they said you are banned from driving cars, 300 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,513 what would you have done? 301 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,150 Come on the train? That's unbelievable. 302 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,651 But this is the thing 303 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,419 that we don't really understand about Germany. 304 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,056 Once something becomes a rule, it is a rule. 305 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,823 I once had a very interesting conversation 306 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,192 with two friends of mine. 307 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,827 One is from California and one is from Germany. 308 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,530 We were talking about losing your driving licence. 309 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,667 The Californian said, "In Germany, what would happen 310 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,536 if you lost your licence and then you drove your car?" 311 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,738 The German said, "No, you cannot do this." 312 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,642 He says, "I know you're not supposed to, 313 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,244 but what if you did?" 314 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,081 He said, "No. You cannot drive. You have no licence." 315 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,150 The Californian went, "Yeah, man, 316 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,718 "but late one night, you just... 317 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,220 hell, you go for a drive." 318 00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:01,854 The German went, "It is impossible 319 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,590 to drive without a licence!" 320 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,093 - Impossible! - Impossible. 321 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,566 There's an interesting thing I discovered here. 322 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:17,304 On a motorway, obviously you can drive as fast as you like. 323 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,971 You get people sometimes, not often, 324 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,807 cos your lane discipline is unbelievable, 325 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,477 but sometimes they sit in the outside lane just dawdling. 326 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,248 If you tailgate them... OK? I've got the fines here. 327 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:32,119 You get a 400 euro fine, two penalty points, 328 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,921 and a three-month ban for tailgating. 329 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,989 - That is extreme. Ouch! - Yes. 330 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,525 But if you overtake them on the inside, 331 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,360 just go past them on the inside, 332 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,130 that's a 150 euro fine, and one point. 333 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,464 Well, there you go. 334 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,134 No. This is where it gets really good. 335 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:51,238 If you go on the hard shoulder to overtake, the emergency lane, 336 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:55,608 that's also one point but only a 90 euro fine. 337 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,145 There's your answer. That's what you do! 338 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,713 No, no. 339 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:06,519 No, because... Aha. You may think that. 340 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,988 But if you fit your car with blue lights, 341 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,623 flashing blue lights, basically, 342 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,592 you turn you car into a police car, 343 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,562 you get... I've got the point fines here. 344 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,565 20 euro fine and no points at all! 345 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,502 You're joking! 346 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:26,639 - No, you don't understand. - That is true. 347 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,176 That is very strange to our ears. 348 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,978 Cos if you tried that at home in the UK, 349 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,614 you would be charged with impersonating a police officer, 350 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:38,185 and you would never get out of prison, ever. 351 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,353 People say Germans have no sense of humour. 352 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,522 If you want to know what no sense of humour is, 353 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,624 impersonate a policeman in Britain. 354 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,793 Then you'll know what no sense of humour is. 355 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:50,897 Right, that is the end of Conversation Strasse. 356 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,770 We all like the idea of a sports utility vehicle. 357 00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:00,707 A car that can handle the Australian outback at the weekend 358 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:05,011 and then set a new lap record at Hockenheim on a Monday morning. 359 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,214 But even the German car-makers 360 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,849 can't seem to make the concept work. 361 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,951 We've got this from Audi. The RS Q3. 362 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,420 Which is a dismal car. 363 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,389 BMW have the X4, I think that's called. 364 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,824 Don't want one of those, either. 365 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,960 Mercedes have this horrible monster. 366 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,629 They're all just rubbish. 367 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,232 And let me guess. You have a solution. 368 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,699 - Yes, I do. - Oh, God. 369 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,368 Yes, I do. A car 370 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:31,804 that is both sporty and utilitarian. 371 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,240 This will be good. 372 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,742 Ye of little faith. Watch this. 373 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,614 JEREMY: This is a Land Rover Discovery 374 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,650 doing utilitarian things 375 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:46,253 in Britain's muddy underbelly. 376 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,491 And obviously a machine like this 377 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:56,263 cannot possibly be converted into a sports car. 378 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,433 Or can it? 379 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,506 First of all, we have to remove this rather ungainly body. 380 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,608 You can't do that with a modern car 381 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,911 because the body is the chassis. It's the skeleton. 382 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,481 If you take it away, you're left with nothing more 383 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,583 than a collection of unjoined-up parts. 384 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,051 However, you can remove the body 385 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,387 on an old Discovery like this, 386 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,790 using nothing more than one of these. 387 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,399 After just 40 minutes 388 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,501 with no help from anyone else, 389 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,337 I ended up with this. 390 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:46,313 Obviously it's still utilitarian. 391 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,448 It will still wade through rivers 392 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,418 and crawl its way up muddy banks. 393 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,453 But now there's a... 394 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,588 a sporty flavour as well. 395 00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:02,562 Without the heavy body, it feels nimble, agile, light. 396 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:10,637 If it weren't for the fact that the windscreen is now very close to my face, 397 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,773 it would feel like a Lamborghini Gallardo. 398 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,678 The only real problem with this 399 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,847 is that Britain is a police state, 400 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,450 and if I took this on a public road, 401 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,685 I'd be stopped immediately 402 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,820 by the constabulary who would point out 403 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,889 that I was contravening about... 404 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:33,526 4,870 different laws. 405 00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,366 It's not warm, either. 406 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,902 Oh, no, that's stupid! 407 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,971 Happily, both these problems would be solved 408 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:48,808 when I fitted it with the body from a sports car. 409 00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:56,082 And this is the sports car I've gone for. 410 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:59,852 A 1978 MGB. 411 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,258 Highly-trained men are now removing its skin 412 00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:08,461 which will then be mated 413 00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,897 in a delicate two-hour operation... 414 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,967 ...to the internal organs 415 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,036 of the mud-plugging V8. 416 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,540 The following morning 417 00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,975 my incredible car was ready. 418 00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:36,122 It is incredible 419 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,959 that in a shed I have created something which has... 420 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:44,897 eluded the combined might of the motor industry. 421 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:49,436 It is a proper sports utility vehicle. 422 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,137 I call it the MGD, 423 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,440 and now I'm going to find out 424 00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:55,842 how well it works on a road. 425 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,722 This is...magnificent. 426 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:14,794 And it is quick. Oh, yeah. 427 00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,699 To demonstrate just how quick, 428 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,468 I'm going to do a drag race 429 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:23,470 against the motor industry's idea 430 00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:24,971 of an SUV. 431 00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:34,180 Little bit of play there. 432 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,152 Let's do this. 433 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:45,858 Come on! Yes, look at this. 434 00:23:48,027 --> 00:23:50,563 The 1.5-litre diesel... 435 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:57,136 ...is no match for the 3.9-litre V8 MGD. 436 00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:00,773 Come on, Pride of Britain! 437 00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:04,877 Yes! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 438 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,914 Ah...ah...ah. 439 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,749 Oh, God. 440 00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:12,018 The brakes don't work. 441 00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:18,725 With the performance box ticked, 442 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:21,027 I continued my testing. 443 00:24:21,093 --> 00:24:25,031 In many ways, the MGD puts me in mind 444 00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:28,034 of an Audi R8 Spyder. 445 00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:31,638 I mean, OK, in the Audi, the dials would work. 446 00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:34,406 And the switches. And the brakes. 447 00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:36,442 And the steering. 448 00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:39,045 And it's a bit less bouncy, but... 449 00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:40,880 both of them 450 00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:43,315 are four-wheel-drive, two-seater, 451 00:24:43,382 --> 00:24:46,418 drop-head V8s. 452 00:24:46,553 --> 00:24:48,454 There is, however, one very big difference 453 00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:50,557 between the two cars. 454 00:24:50,557 --> 00:24:52,759 You can't do this in an Audi. 455 00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:02,835 Oh, yes. Yes. 456 00:25:02,902 --> 00:25:07,139 Moments ago I was haring round a handling track, 457 00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:08,240 and now look. 458 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:12,011 It's brilliant. 459 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:19,185 - Oh, no! Not now, you bastard. 460 00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:22,121 I mean, you wonderful thing. 461 00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:24,123 Choke. Oh. 462 00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:25,592 Yeah, that... 463 00:25:27,827 --> 00:25:30,597 It's on its shutdown thing. 464 00:25:30,597 --> 00:25:31,898 It's just to save fuel, 465 00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:33,866 it goes on two cylinders sometimes. 466 00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:39,438 Once the engine management thingy had run its... 467 00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:41,473 diagnostic program, 468 00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,309 I was back on the move. 469 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,611 Here we go. 470 00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:50,082 Yes. 471 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:54,253 Mighty four-wheel-drive system hauling me up that. 472 00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:59,458 Argh! Aargh! 473 00:25:59,525 --> 00:26:02,294 I'm stopping. Stopping. 474 00:26:05,031 --> 00:26:08,000 Oh, Lord, that is not right, is it? 475 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:18,144 As I got going for the second time, 476 00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:20,980 I realised I'd been a bit of a chump. 477 00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:22,849 The mistake I've made, of course, 478 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:25,451 is that I've introduced you to this car 479 00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:26,919 before I've really tested it. 480 00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:29,055 That's not what car-makers do. 481 00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:31,257 They test a car and then show it 482 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:34,560 to the press and the public. 483 00:26:34,661 --> 00:26:35,995 I'm doing that the other way round. 484 00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:38,130 I'm introducing this to you 485 00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,032 before I've done the testing and... 486 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:47,139 Oh, for Christ's sake. 487 00:26:50,409 --> 00:26:52,278 You little beauty. 488 00:26:57,750 --> 00:27:00,720 Er, now, yes, what was I saying? 489 00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:07,994 I think the issue is really you're watching my workings-out here. 490 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:10,096 What you really want to see is the finished product. 491 00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:12,198 That's what I should have done. 492 00:27:12,264 --> 00:27:15,034 - Oh, Christ's sake. 493 00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:20,239 Right. 494 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:23,342 At this point, I decided, for no particular reason, 495 00:27:23,409 --> 00:27:25,712 to scrap the MG idea 496 00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:27,980 and go for something else instead. 497 00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:33,452 This is what I chose. 498 00:27:33,519 --> 00:27:36,255 A 1980s Mercedes SL. 499 00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:38,825 Partly because it's the very essence 500 00:27:38,891 --> 00:27:40,727 of quiet, urban restraint, 501 00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:42,561 taste and elegance. 502 00:27:42,628 --> 00:27:47,199 It's a car that was driven by Bobby Ewing in Dallas. 503 00:27:47,266 --> 00:27:49,368 Mostly, though, I chose it because 504 00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:52,872 it would fit more snugly on the Discovery chassis. 505 00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:58,477 This time, the men worked tirelessly 506 00:27:58,544 --> 00:27:59,979 for nearly a whole day 507 00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:01,380 to marry the two cars 508 00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:04,283 and the result was spectacular. 509 00:28:08,888 --> 00:28:11,457 It's a car I have justifiably called... 510 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:14,093 The Excellent. 511 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,296 The internal organs from a Landrover Discovery 512 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:22,802 mated to the beautiful skin of a glamorous Mercedes SL. 513 00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:25,037 To create a vision of pure... 514 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:27,273 What's the word? 515 00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:29,608 - OTHERS: Rubbish. - It's not rubbish. 516 00:28:29,675 --> 00:28:32,779 RICHARD: Did you paint it with a brush or a bucket? 517 00:28:32,779 --> 00:28:35,848 It's got those headlights that swivel when you go round a bend. 518 00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,649 So they point at the road. 519 00:28:37,784 --> 00:28:39,385 OK, let me ask you this. 520 00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:40,820 Which would you rather have? 521 00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:42,789 The Excellent or that Porsche? 522 00:28:42,822 --> 00:28:44,891 BOTH: That Porsche. 523 00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:47,994 Because it's better in every single way. 524 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,129 To prove my cynical colleagues wrong, 525 00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:53,032 I invited them to go for a drive. 526 00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:56,068 Oh, kind. 527 00:28:56,135 --> 00:28:59,605 See? It's an optional extra for the shorter gentleman. 528 00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:02,274 - No. 529 00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:04,811 - Yep. 530 00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:09,849 - Right, listen to this. 531 00:29:10,817 --> 00:29:12,418 Oh, no, it moves! 532 00:29:16,622 --> 00:29:19,725 We'd only gone a few miles before Richard and James 533 00:29:19,826 --> 00:29:21,560 completely changed their minds 534 00:29:21,627 --> 00:29:24,596 and realised that The Excellent was the best car 535 00:29:24,663 --> 00:29:26,232 they'd ever been in. 536 00:29:26,298 --> 00:29:27,934 No, we haven't. Stop saying things 537 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,435 in voiceover that aren't true. 538 00:29:29,501 --> 00:29:31,237 I thought you'd changed your mind. 539 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,272 No! Maybe a bit. It's worse than I thought. 540 00:29:33,339 --> 00:29:36,708 - That's not connected. 541 00:29:36,843 --> 00:29:38,110 - No. 542 00:29:38,177 --> 00:29:40,212 - Speedometer. 543 00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:42,148 Why have you got that one, not that one? 544 00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:44,483 - That doesn't work. 545 00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:46,618 - Not as such. - Has it got a temperature gauge? 546 00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:47,987 Not really. 547 00:29:48,054 --> 00:29:49,889 There's a lot of wires hanging out of the dash 548 00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:51,924 that aren't connected to things. 549 00:29:51,991 --> 00:29:53,993 You haven't given it an interior. 550 00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,531 RICHARD: I can see the road. JEREMY: I can as well. 551 00:29:59,598 --> 00:30:03,102 RICHARD: No, there's a hole in the floor. 552 00:30:03,169 --> 00:30:06,305 While Hammond and May had one or two minor issues, 553 00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:09,775 they both agreed that if I were to put my car into production, 554 00:30:09,842 --> 00:30:12,244 it would make me a fortune. 555 00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:14,513 No, we didn't agree to that, either. 556 00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:16,748 JEREMY: Look, I've done the maths. Honestly. 557 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:18,584 The Discovery was £2,500. 558 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,820 Mercedes £4,500. £7,000 for the work. 559 00:30:21,888 --> 00:30:26,192 That's 14,000 quid. I could sell this for £120,000. 560 00:30:26,258 --> 00:30:27,927 - No, you couldn't. - Yes, I could. 561 00:30:27,994 --> 00:30:29,761 A Cayenne Turbo is 120. 562 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:33,465 A Cayenne Turbo is a proper car built by Porsche. 563 00:30:33,532 --> 00:30:37,803 This is two scrap cars glued together by a Muppet. 564 00:30:37,870 --> 00:30:39,838 It isn't designed for people like you. 565 00:30:39,906 --> 00:30:41,707 What, people with eyes? 566 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:43,742 People who can dress themselves in the morning? 567 00:30:43,809 --> 00:30:47,013 JEREMY: I'll tell you exactly who will buy this car. 568 00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:49,615 People who use roundy-ended scissors. 569 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,150 Footballers. 570 00:30:51,217 --> 00:30:53,419 - No, they won't. - Footballers like Ferraris. 571 00:30:53,485 --> 00:30:55,421 Yeah, and Bentleys and Range Rovers. 572 00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:58,057 - And Aston Martins. - Not this thing. 573 00:31:03,229 --> 00:31:05,164 To prove them wrong again, 574 00:31:05,231 --> 00:31:10,469 I decided to head for the nearby Chelsea training ground. 575 00:31:10,536 --> 00:31:13,372 These are people who understand cars, not like you two. 576 00:31:13,439 --> 00:31:16,008 JAMES: Yeah, they understand cars, that's why they buy 577 00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:18,344 Range Rovers and Aston Martins. 578 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:19,946 JEREMY: They buy those things 579 00:31:19,979 --> 00:31:21,948 cos they didn't know that you could do this. 580 00:31:21,948 --> 00:31:24,450 - I like my car. - RICHARD: It's shit. 581 00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:32,124 They're flocking to it, aren't they? 582 00:31:32,191 --> 00:31:33,960 - You just watch. - Do you mind 583 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,363 if I go and stand next to something else? 584 00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:39,298 Soon some players arrived, 585 00:31:39,365 --> 00:31:41,633 which gave Richard and James a chance 586 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,370 to show off their footballing knowledge. 587 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:45,972 You're really tall. You should play in goal. 588 00:31:46,005 --> 00:31:47,306 Yeah, I do, I play in goal. 589 00:31:47,373 --> 00:31:49,008 - I'm the goalkeeper. - I know that. 590 00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,409 What part of Chelsea are you from? 591 00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:54,080 - I'm from Belgium. - Oh. 592 00:31:54,146 --> 00:31:56,348 How do you know they're footballers? 593 00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:57,849 Well, do you not recognise them? 594 00:31:57,984 --> 00:31:59,051 They're in football outfits. 595 00:31:59,118 --> 00:32:00,987 He doesn't recognise you. 596 00:32:00,987 --> 00:32:02,854 Where's... Where's Alex Ferguson? 597 00:32:02,989 --> 00:32:05,391 Why don't we ask him? 598 00:32:05,457 --> 00:32:08,560 At this point I dismissed my ignorant colleagues 599 00:32:08,627 --> 00:32:11,663 so that I could operate the subtitle machine. 600 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,577 - Yeah. 601 00:32:27,713 --> 00:32:29,481 Take a shot at me. 602 00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:31,817 Well, that's ridiculous. What can I do with that? 603 00:32:31,883 --> 00:32:33,219 You're supposed to jump. 604 00:32:36,188 --> 00:32:38,024 ...flipping horrific. 605 00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:40,826 So you've butchered a classic car? 606 00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:44,030 Right, watch this. Little toss... 607 00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:46,032 No. 608 00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:48,500 You need to think of... 609 00:33:04,116 --> 00:33:05,917 - Ow. - Saved. 610 00:33:12,758 --> 00:33:14,360 Having established 611 00:33:14,426 --> 00:33:17,063 that all top professional footballers loved my car, 612 00:33:17,096 --> 00:33:19,198 we got back on the road. 613 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,169 Did you get any orders? 614 00:33:23,235 --> 00:33:24,503 I noticed that the car park 615 00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,438 was still full of Mercedes G-Class. 616 00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,307 - I saw that. - Listen. 617 00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:31,210 I could put this into an auction, 618 00:33:31,277 --> 00:33:33,412 one of those posh, up-market ones, 619 00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,681 and it would sell for £120,000. 620 00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:37,483 It would not! 621 00:33:37,549 --> 00:33:40,286 To prove them wrong again... 622 00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:57,436 Gentlemen, people are examining... 623 00:33:57,503 --> 00:33:59,438 RICHARD: Yeah, they are the organisers. 624 00:33:59,505 --> 00:34:01,707 JAMES: They're wondering about their carpet. 625 00:34:03,309 --> 00:34:06,278 "Handcrafted by a renowned British atelier... 626 00:34:06,345 --> 00:34:08,547 sympathetically marries the chassis with..." 627 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:13,585 - Course I wrote it. 628 00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:16,555 "The interior would benefit from some minor attention." 629 00:34:16,622 --> 00:34:18,690 - Well, it would. - With a hand grenade. 630 00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,259 Lot number 132. 631 00:34:20,326 --> 00:34:22,528 Soon the auction was under way. 632 00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:27,566 Ferrari 308 GTB, at £118,000. 633 00:34:27,633 --> 00:34:31,603 Lot number 127, start me with this at 300,000. 634 00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:33,639 And many of the punters were happy 635 00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:37,909 to pay six-figure sums for the cars on offer. 636 00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:39,878 At 270,000. 637 00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:43,149 285 for the Countach. 638 00:34:43,149 --> 00:34:46,752 The Countach just went for £285,000. 639 00:34:46,818 --> 00:34:48,387 I think I'm gonna sell The Excellent 640 00:34:48,454 --> 00:34:50,156 for more than that. 641 00:34:50,189 --> 00:34:52,291 And then it was time. 642 00:34:52,358 --> 00:34:56,027 Moving on to lot number 138A. 643 00:34:56,162 --> 00:34:57,963 The Excellent. 644 00:34:58,029 --> 00:34:59,431 It's a fantastic handcrafted, 645 00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:01,767 very unusual machine, as you can see. 646 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:03,068 I don't want you... 647 00:35:03,169 --> 00:35:07,005 Beautiful, stylish Mercedes Benz coachwork. 648 00:35:07,072 --> 00:35:09,841 - Very unusual, unique... 649 00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:12,077 Here for sale this afternoon. 650 00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:14,946 Start me if you will on this at... 651 00:35:15,013 --> 00:35:16,982 £425. 652 00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:19,251 At £425... 653 00:35:19,318 --> 00:35:21,019 Any advance at 400? 654 00:35:21,086 --> 00:35:23,322 £500. 550 anywhere? 655 00:35:23,389 --> 00:35:25,357 - 600 here. 656 00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:27,326 650. 650. 700 now. 657 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:29,528 We're rattling up. 658 00:35:29,595 --> 00:35:32,898 AUCTIONEER: 700 here. 700. 800 now. 659 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:34,933 Let's go for 1,000. 660 00:35:40,406 --> 00:35:42,674 Let's get going. Come on, let's sell this car. 661 00:35:44,710 --> 00:35:46,678 - £1,000 here on my right. 662 00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:49,014 - No. 663 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,516 AUCTIONEER: 2,000 if you wish. 664 00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:52,851 It's 2,000 and five. Two, five. 665 00:35:52,918 --> 00:35:56,087 3,000 now. It's 3,000 here. Three, five anywhere? 666 00:35:56,222 --> 00:35:58,123 Three, one. 667 00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:00,626 At 3,100. 668 00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,694 £3,200. 669 00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:04,230 At £3,500. 670 00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:07,233 - It cost me 14,000. - 4,000. 671 00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:09,401 At £4,000... 672 00:36:09,468 --> 00:36:11,537 At £4,000, any more? 673 00:36:16,141 --> 00:36:17,843 At £4,000. 674 00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:19,445 Come and see us after. 675 00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:21,347 You just lost ten grand. 676 00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:23,915 He could have just thrown it down the lavatory. 677 00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:36,695 It was rubbish. 678 00:36:38,163 --> 00:36:40,666 Hold on. 679 00:36:40,732 --> 00:36:43,669 - You were bidding on your own car. 680 00:36:43,735 --> 00:36:46,405 Well, a bit. I just wanted to get the ball rolling. 681 00:36:46,472 --> 00:36:47,806 But even then it didn't work 682 00:36:47,873 --> 00:36:49,975 because you only sold it for four grand. 683 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,777 It cost you 14,000 to make 684 00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:54,713 so you cost our production company £10,000. 685 00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,548 No, no, not true. 686 00:36:56,615 --> 00:36:59,285 - I put a reserve on it. 687 00:36:59,285 --> 00:37:01,287 £100,000. 688 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,289 - So it didn't sell at all, 689 00:37:03,355 --> 00:37:06,425 which means you cost us £14,000? 690 00:37:06,492 --> 00:37:10,496 Well, yes, but we've ended up with The Excellent. 691 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:14,366 No, we're stuck with The Excellent. 692 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,402 It's really difficult to know, working with you, 693 00:37:16,468 --> 00:37:19,004 things like this, is it ambition 694 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,773 or are you a lunatic? 695 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,410 Sadly there isn't time to answer that question, 696 00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:28,347 because it's time to play Celebrity Brain Crash. 697 00:37:35,887 --> 00:37:38,189 Our guest this week is a local girl 698 00:37:38,324 --> 00:37:43,128 who is responsible for one of my all- time favourite pop songs, 699 00:37:43,194 --> 00:37:45,163 99 Red Balloons. 700 00:37:45,230 --> 00:37:47,399 She is a singer, 701 00:37:47,466 --> 00:37:49,435 she's an armpit hair enthusiast 702 00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:51,703 and she's an all- round good sport. 703 00:37:51,770 --> 00:37:54,340 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Nena! 704 00:38:14,693 --> 00:38:17,763 - I've got no idea. Um... 705 00:38:19,365 --> 00:38:21,433 Oh. Oh, no... 706 00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:23,469 It's hard to see through the smog, 707 00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,371 but yes, that is... 708 00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:28,640 - Oh, no. - What's happened here is... 709 00:38:28,707 --> 00:38:30,376 Nena... 710 00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:33,044 yes, she's been carried away by 99... 711 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,248 - ...red balloons. - Oh, no. 712 00:38:37,383 --> 00:38:38,850 - Bad. 713 00:38:43,922 --> 00:38:46,257 Does that mean she's not coming on, then? 714 00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:48,760 Well, James, she's floated up into the stratosphere, 715 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,963 her eyelids have frozen over and her lungs are inside out. 716 00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:53,932 So that is a no. 717 00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:55,634 It's OK, though. 718 00:38:55,701 --> 00:38:58,236 We anticipated that Nena may float away. 719 00:38:58,303 --> 00:39:01,039 We have a back-up plan. We'll activate it. You sit down. 720 00:39:01,106 --> 00:39:05,010 You see, the thing is... that more and more stuff, 721 00:39:05,076 --> 00:39:08,179 these days, is being powered by rechargeable batteries. 722 00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:10,248 You know, phones, laptops. That sort of thing. 723 00:39:10,315 --> 00:39:12,884 And this is giving the world a bit of a problem. 724 00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:16,722 Because in Britain, our power companies only produce 725 00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:20,426 five per cent more power than we need. 726 00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:22,428 We're only just coping. 727 00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:24,896 It's actually worse in the United States 728 00:39:24,963 --> 00:39:28,500 cos they produce 16% less than they actually need, 729 00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:31,437 which means they have to import electricity. 730 00:39:31,437 --> 00:39:33,739 So what is gonna happen as more and more people 731 00:39:33,805 --> 00:39:36,074 are buying and using electric cars? 732 00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:39,077 We're gonna need more power. We may not be able to cope. 733 00:39:39,144 --> 00:39:40,612 The solution, you may think, 734 00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:42,280 is to build more power stations. 735 00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:43,915 But if you even suggest that, 736 00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:45,551 weird-beard environmentalists run around 737 00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:47,152 waving their arms in the air, going, 738 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:49,287 "What about the polar bear and the bats and the newt?" 739 00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:52,458 Anyway, the point is we are going to need more and more power 740 00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:55,360 to charge the batteries in our phones, laptops and cars. 741 00:39:55,461 --> 00:39:58,464 - Where are we gonna get it from? - This got us thinking. 742 00:39:58,530 --> 00:40:02,400 How much electricity could we possibly generate every day 743 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:02,468 How much electricity could we possibly generate every day just during our normal lives? 744 00:40:02,468 --> 00:40:03,969 just during our normal lives? 745 00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:07,939 And what if we could harness it in some way? 746 00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:13,078 JAMES: This is an office block in the centre of London. 747 00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:17,215 Like many office blocks, it has a revolving door, 748 00:40:17,282 --> 00:40:22,320 which spins constantly as people come and go. 749 00:40:22,387 --> 00:40:25,957 So, why not simply connect that door to a generator 750 00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:30,996 and turn all that spinning into electricity? 751 00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:33,765 RICHARD: And it's not just revolving doors, either. 752 00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:37,636 Many of us have dogs 753 00:40:37,703 --> 00:40:40,939 and every day we take those dogs for a walk. 754 00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:45,511 A dog scampers hither and thither, running ahead 755 00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:46,912 and snouting under hedgerows. 756 00:40:46,978 --> 00:40:51,483 So why not attach it to a trailer like this? 757 00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:52,951 Dog pulls the trailer along. 758 00:40:53,018 --> 00:40:55,621 Inside this wheel is a dynamo. 759 00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:58,023 It makes electricity, goes along these wires 760 00:40:58,089 --> 00:40:59,024 and into this capacitor, 761 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,026 and when that dial reads 100%, 762 00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:03,261 I'm charging my phone, 763 00:41:03,328 --> 00:41:04,630 So, dog's harnessed. 764 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,932 That was easy. Attached to the trailer. 765 00:41:06,998 --> 00:41:09,367 All I've got to do is set her going. 766 00:41:09,434 --> 00:41:12,203 And I've even planned for that. So, here we go. 767 00:41:12,270 --> 00:41:13,672 Fetch! 768 00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:18,143 Ah-haa! 769 00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:19,878 Yeah! Your favourite! 770 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:24,616 Chase! 771 00:41:26,451 --> 00:41:27,886 Maybe this dog's broken? 772 00:41:27,953 --> 00:41:31,322 Meanwhile, back in London, 773 00:41:31,389 --> 00:41:33,091 James was charging his phone 774 00:41:33,158 --> 00:41:36,094 from a contraption he'd fitted to the revolving door. 775 00:41:47,272 --> 00:41:50,208 And even Jeremy had decided to get in on the action. 776 00:41:51,943 --> 00:41:54,412 JEREMY: This school sports day, 777 00:41:54,479 --> 00:41:57,148 in my mind, is a power station. 778 00:41:57,215 --> 00:42:00,185 All we have to do is fit the children with harnesses 779 00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:03,889 and I could have this charged up in no time at all. 780 00:42:04,856 --> 00:42:08,059 - Here we go! 781 00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:09,394 Straightaway we can see 782 00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:12,297 that charge is being produced. 783 00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:13,799 Not much, but some. 784 00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,835 Come on, all of you! Come on! 785 00:42:16,902 --> 00:42:20,305 Put your back into it! Catch him! Chop-chop! 786 00:42:21,773 --> 00:42:24,743 This is the work of a genius. 787 00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:26,277 RICHARD: Back in the countryside, 788 00:42:26,344 --> 00:42:27,846 I'd mended my dog 789 00:42:27,913 --> 00:42:30,415 and things were going well here too. 790 00:42:30,481 --> 00:42:33,384 As you can see, the dog is now running, 791 00:42:33,451 --> 00:42:34,686 the wheels are turning, 792 00:42:34,753 --> 00:42:36,622 electricity is being generated. 793 00:42:36,622 --> 00:42:40,025 He's basically a four-legged Sellafield! 794 00:42:40,091 --> 00:42:43,795 Sadly, however, in London, it was the middle of the day 795 00:42:43,862 --> 00:42:46,698 and no one had been using James's door. 796 00:42:49,034 --> 00:42:51,637 As a result, his phone was dying. 797 00:42:51,637 --> 00:42:53,304 So he had to get radical. 798 00:43:08,219 --> 00:43:09,921 15%. 799 00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:11,690 Nice. 800 00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,160 RICHARD: Apart from a couple of hiccups... 801 00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:16,795 Go! 802 00:43:21,066 --> 00:43:23,568 You'll have to put a little bit more effort in than that. 803 00:43:23,669 --> 00:43:25,904 ...everything was going well. 804 00:43:25,971 --> 00:43:28,073 The power was flooding in. 805 00:43:28,139 --> 00:43:29,507 Oh, yes! 806 00:43:29,574 --> 00:43:31,710 25%. 807 00:43:31,777 --> 00:43:33,511 And we were forced to conclude 808 00:43:33,578 --> 00:43:36,682 that it had been a successful day for all of us. 809 00:43:36,715 --> 00:43:39,685 Well, when I say all of us... 810 00:43:40,686 --> 00:43:41,920 No. Look, listen. 811 00:43:41,987 --> 00:43:45,891 I can see why you're here. Um... 812 00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,794 Obviously, fitting children with harnesses 813 00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:50,729 and then videoing them, 814 00:43:50,796 --> 00:43:52,297 and they're not my children... 815 00:44:01,873 --> 00:44:06,211 I got... I got 45% charge in my phone. 816 00:44:06,277 --> 00:44:07,713 I got 41% charge. 817 00:44:07,779 --> 00:44:11,917 I got a different sort of charge. 818 00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:13,151 Anyway, since we had proved-- 819 00:44:13,218 --> 00:44:14,786 well, Hammond and I had proved-- 820 00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:17,188 that it was possible to charge up a telephone-- 821 00:44:17,255 --> 00:44:21,026 I began to wonder if we could charge up a car 822 00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:24,129 using nothing more than vanity. 823 00:44:26,264 --> 00:44:30,201 JAMES: In London alone, there are over 750 gyms, 824 00:44:30,268 --> 00:44:32,470 and every day they are full of people 825 00:44:32,537 --> 00:44:35,140 picking things up and putting them down again 826 00:44:35,206 --> 00:44:37,809 so they can be more attractive. 827 00:44:39,344 --> 00:44:41,813 So why not use all this colossal effort? 828 00:44:42,748 --> 00:44:44,149 Let's harness it! 829 00:44:45,917 --> 00:44:48,386 And that's exactly what we have done. 830 00:44:48,453 --> 00:44:49,988 Ten of the machines in this gym 831 00:44:50,055 --> 00:44:51,456 have been connected to a device 832 00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:54,225 which produces a smooth flow of electricity 833 00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:58,229 that's sent outside to this G- Wiz in the car park. 834 00:45:00,331 --> 00:45:02,868 Right now the battery is flat. 835 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:04,569 So I'm going to plug it in 836 00:45:04,635 --> 00:45:07,305 and then after eight hours, we'll see how far I can drive 837 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:11,009 on electricity that's been generated in there. 838 00:45:24,956 --> 00:45:26,491 Come on, you're slacking. 839 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,043 Right. Unplug from the gym. 840 00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:48,814 Let's see how far we go. 841 00:45:55,386 --> 00:45:58,924 Look at this. This is epic because I'm driving along 842 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:01,827 in a car, sort of. 843 00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:03,494 No fossil fuel has been burned, 844 00:46:03,561 --> 00:46:05,063 and no atoms have been split. 845 00:46:05,130 --> 00:46:07,065 Nothing's been fracked up. 846 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,843 Look, there's a man pushing that pushchair. 847 00:46:17,909 --> 00:46:20,045 Stick a little dynamo on that, 848 00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:22,948 kid gets some fresh air, I get more battery charge. 849 00:46:28,419 --> 00:46:31,089 It's difficult to see who loses from this arrangement. 850 00:46:31,156 --> 00:46:33,624 I get a trip home, effectively for nothing, 851 00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:36,862 the people going to the gym feel good, look good, 852 00:46:36,895 --> 00:46:39,630 they become healthier, the NHS saves money, 853 00:46:39,697 --> 00:46:40,899 cos people are less likely 854 00:46:40,966 --> 00:46:42,633 to have strokes and what have you. 855 00:46:42,700 --> 00:46:45,136 If one person in a hundred gets a free gy... 856 00:46:49,574 --> 00:46:51,542 Hang on. 857 00:46:55,780 --> 00:46:57,883 I was enjoying driving on pedal 858 00:46:57,916 --> 00:47:00,351 and cross-trainer power! 859 00:47:03,288 --> 00:47:06,958 And with that, I think it's back to the tent. 860 00:47:12,697 --> 00:47:14,900 James... James May, 861 00:47:14,933 --> 00:47:17,903 how far did you get 862 00:47:17,969 --> 00:47:20,171 after eight hours of charging? 863 00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:22,908 Actually, it was better than I expected. 864 00:47:22,908 --> 00:47:24,742 I did 21 miles. 865 00:47:24,809 --> 00:47:27,913 Hang on, though. To get from our office in London 866 00:47:27,946 --> 00:47:29,814 to my home in nearly Wales, 867 00:47:29,915 --> 00:47:33,018 that's 130 miles, 21 miles at... 868 00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:35,120 So six stops at gyms, eight hours a time, 869 00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:36,521 and the actual driving, 870 00:47:36,587 --> 00:47:38,323 it would take me three days 871 00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:39,524 to get home! 872 00:47:39,590 --> 00:47:42,127 Or, Hammond, just an idea, 873 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:44,996 you could maybe get a petrol-powered car, 874 00:47:45,063 --> 00:47:46,932 put some petrol in it, 875 00:47:46,932 --> 00:47:48,466 and be home in two hours. 876 00:47:48,533 --> 00:47:50,468 That's a better... I'm gonna do that. 877 00:47:50,535 --> 00:47:51,937 Yes. So there we are. 878 00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:54,072 That's the future, and it's made of petrol. 879 00:47:54,139 --> 00:47:56,207 So we've addressed that nicely. 880 00:47:59,044 --> 00:48:01,079 Moving on... 881 00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:05,783 Now... 882 00:48:05,850 --> 00:48:07,518 There are people all over the world 883 00:48:07,585 --> 00:48:11,456 who believe we are permanently on the verge of nuclear war, 884 00:48:11,522 --> 00:48:14,625 alien invasion or zombie attack. 885 00:48:14,692 --> 00:48:15,994 It isn't a niche thing. 886 00:48:16,061 --> 00:48:18,496 There's 120,000 of these people at least. 887 00:48:18,563 --> 00:48:20,765 They call themselves preppers. 888 00:48:20,831 --> 00:48:22,433 - Morons. - Shut up. 889 00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:24,235 - Idiots. - And these preppers, 890 00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:27,372 in order to prepare for an extinction-level event, 891 00:48:27,438 --> 00:48:29,074 stock their homes with essential supplies, 892 00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:31,242 they go out into the woods and practise tactics, 893 00:48:31,309 --> 00:48:35,013 and they create what they call bug-out cars. 894 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,381 They're brilliant. Here is one. Look. 895 00:48:36,447 --> 00:48:38,583 - Look at that! - Yeah! I know! 896 00:48:38,649 --> 00:48:41,519 - No, Hammond, that is not brilliant. - It is. 897 00:48:41,586 --> 00:48:44,655 Are you saying we can prepare for a nuclear attack 898 00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:49,227 by putting some spikes on the wheels of a Hyundai? 899 00:48:49,294 --> 00:48:50,861 What if the nuclear attack 900 00:48:50,996 --> 00:48:53,031 comes from the back of the Hyundai? 901 00:48:53,098 --> 00:48:54,732 All you're gonna do with that car 902 00:48:54,799 --> 00:48:57,568 - is snag your jumper on it. - Oh, don't be so negative. 903 00:48:57,635 --> 00:49:01,006 In this show you have wasted 14,000 of our pounds 904 00:49:01,039 --> 00:49:02,773 on your stupid Mercedes car. 905 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,442 You have wasted all of our time 906 00:49:04,509 --> 00:49:06,111 with your sweat-powered electric car. 907 00:49:06,177 --> 00:49:09,047 This is my thing. Let me do it. 908 00:49:09,114 --> 00:49:11,482 You do realise there's no such thing 909 00:49:11,549 --> 00:49:12,517 as a zombie, don't you? 910 00:49:12,583 --> 00:49:15,120 - Don't spoil it for him. 911 00:49:15,186 --> 00:49:17,688 I like the idea of being a prepper, 912 00:49:17,755 --> 00:49:21,359 so I thought I'd have a go at making my own bug-out car. 913 00:49:28,299 --> 00:49:31,102 This is what I came up with. 914 00:49:34,039 --> 00:49:38,609 It started life as a VW campervan, high-top version. 915 00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:41,846 But I've stripped it of its hippie heritage 916 00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:44,582 to turn it into a vehicle that can bare its teeth 917 00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:47,152 in a dangerous, post-apocalyptic world. 918 00:49:51,589 --> 00:49:53,091 And I love it! 919 00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:57,628 I'm so unbelievably pleased with this thing. 920 00:49:57,695 --> 00:50:03,701 I feel invincible, ready, prepared. 921 00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:05,536 Which is hardly surprising, 922 00:50:05,603 --> 00:50:08,106 given the modifications I've made. 923 00:50:09,274 --> 00:50:11,142 At the front, a battering ram. 924 00:50:11,209 --> 00:50:13,544 You can be pretty sure the roads won't be clear. 925 00:50:13,611 --> 00:50:15,946 The ram itself is fitted with spikes 926 00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:17,982 for fending off zombies at close quarters. 927 00:50:18,049 --> 00:50:19,150 Then, up top, 928 00:50:19,217 --> 00:50:20,918 a bank of powerful rally lights 929 00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:24,655 to cut through the murky soup of a nuclear winter. 930 00:50:24,722 --> 00:50:27,758 Of course, not everyone I meet will be friendly. 931 00:50:27,825 --> 00:50:30,027 So, up here... 932 00:50:35,933 --> 00:50:37,135 ...weapons rack. 933 00:50:37,202 --> 00:50:38,436 Everything I need 934 00:50:38,503 --> 00:50:41,839 to defend myself against cannibals and zombies. 935 00:50:41,906 --> 00:50:44,775 Round here, water. Essential. 936 00:50:44,842 --> 00:50:47,478 Subtle stuff too. I don't want to stand out, 937 00:50:47,545 --> 00:50:49,214 hence the camouflage paint. 938 00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,715 But perhaps most importantly, 939 00:50:50,781 --> 00:50:52,750 the whole of my bug-out campervan 940 00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:54,185 has been armour-plated. 941 00:50:55,186 --> 00:50:57,555 I really have thought of everything! 942 00:50:57,622 --> 00:50:59,023 No, you haven't! 943 00:50:59,090 --> 00:51:01,359 All you've done is ruined a perfectly good campervan. 944 00:51:01,426 --> 00:51:03,394 No, I haven't! It's brilliant. 945 00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:05,263 It's bullet-proof all over! 946 00:51:05,330 --> 00:51:07,265 Is it? - Yes. 947 00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:08,866 - Yes, it is. 948 00:51:08,933 --> 00:51:11,369 - Oh, yeah, sounds like it. - Tanks feel like that. 949 00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:14,605 OK, then, these are guns. Use them. 950 00:51:14,672 --> 00:51:17,542 - No, on the van. Shoot it. 951 00:51:17,608 --> 00:51:19,444 - Yes. 952 00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:23,214 - Ha! Didn't go through! 953 00:51:23,281 --> 00:51:24,349 Just chipped the paint. That's all you've done. 954 00:51:26,617 --> 00:51:28,153 What you're suggesting is these aliens, 955 00:51:28,219 --> 00:51:31,021 they're going to travel trillions of miles 956 00:51:31,156 --> 00:51:34,325 using a propulsion system that we can't even conceive 957 00:51:34,392 --> 00:51:37,162 and then they're going to try and take over the world 958 00:51:37,195 --> 00:51:39,364 using .177 air rifles? 959 00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:41,832 Well, if they do, I shall be ready for them. 960 00:51:44,235 --> 00:51:47,605 Especially given what I've done in here. 961 00:51:47,672 --> 00:51:50,708 Inside, I've turned this once- humble campervan 962 00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:54,512 into literally the highest-tech command centre imaginable. 963 00:51:54,579 --> 00:51:57,014 Up front, carbon dioxide scrubbers, 964 00:51:57,081 --> 00:51:58,616 just like the ones on Apollo 13. 965 00:51:58,683 --> 00:52:02,420 They will purify the air, even in case of radiation. 966 00:52:02,487 --> 00:52:06,824 And you can measure that radiation on these systems up here. 967 00:52:06,891 --> 00:52:09,294 Water. You may not be able to find it. 968 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,396 Need to make it. It's essential. 969 00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:14,565 I've fitted a system that recycles urine. 970 00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:17,702 Basically you do your number ones up there. 971 00:52:19,204 --> 00:52:20,238 Operate the pumps. 972 00:52:20,305 --> 00:52:21,672 They send the results up, 973 00:52:21,739 --> 00:52:24,775 across, and into the water purification system. 974 00:52:24,842 --> 00:52:29,280 It emerges from that as purest drinking water. 975 00:52:33,751 --> 00:52:36,554 Food. I'm gonna need it. I've got a chicken. 976 00:52:36,621 --> 00:52:38,856 It lays eggs. They go in there. 977 00:52:38,923 --> 00:52:42,059 And perhaps best of all, the pâté de foie gras 978 00:52:42,126 --> 00:52:43,594 of the bug-out community-- 979 00:52:43,661 --> 00:52:45,696 chicken soup. 980 00:52:45,763 --> 00:52:48,299 I love all this. Setting out into the wilderness 981 00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:50,635 in my little house on wheels, 982 00:52:50,701 --> 00:52:55,139 knowing I've got everything I need, whatever happens. 983 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,642 What the...? 984 00:53:00,245 --> 00:53:03,047 Am I penetrating his bulletproof armour? 985 00:53:03,248 --> 00:53:05,883 Yes. And his food. 986 00:53:05,950 --> 00:53:09,254 - Oh! That's my own urine! 987 00:53:11,322 --> 00:53:14,158 - Yes, he is! 988 00:53:14,259 --> 00:53:17,562 I'd get out of the way if I were you. 989 00:53:17,628 --> 00:53:19,697 The trouble with the chicken is, it moves around, 990 00:53:19,764 --> 00:53:21,566 - making this a... 991 00:53:23,268 --> 00:53:25,870 - Oh, good idea! - Isn't it! 992 00:53:29,073 --> 00:53:30,541 Right, reloading, James. Reloading. 993 00:53:30,608 --> 00:53:32,277 - Oh, yes! 994 00:53:44,154 --> 00:53:46,291 - Good shot. 995 00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:49,860 Sort of game over now, really. 996 00:53:49,927 --> 00:53:50,928 Hm. 997 00:53:52,330 --> 00:53:53,631 Right... 998 00:53:56,634 --> 00:53:58,436 It wasn't game over, though, 999 00:53:58,503 --> 00:54:00,371 because I went back to the drawing board 1000 00:54:00,438 --> 00:54:02,340 and started again. 1001 00:54:05,109 --> 00:54:07,412 Three months' work. 1002 00:54:07,478 --> 00:54:09,680 I've used the same basic interior set-up, 1003 00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:12,383 but I've completely re-thought the armour plating, 1004 00:54:12,450 --> 00:54:14,685 so that whatever those two have... 1005 00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:25,896 Now, this is a Scimitar light reconnaissance tank. 1006 00:54:25,963 --> 00:54:30,801 It's small, it's quite fast, and it's quite manoeuvrable. 1007 00:54:30,868 --> 00:54:33,338 Its job is to skip around the battlefield like a goat 1008 00:54:33,404 --> 00:54:35,340 and find stuff. 1009 00:54:39,544 --> 00:54:42,347 Now, look at Hammond, running around in a mad panic. 1010 00:54:42,347 --> 00:54:44,882 He thinks I'm gonna shoot him, but I'm not. 1011 00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:48,519 I'm just here to mark him with a laser. 1012 00:54:48,586 --> 00:54:50,455 He's gonna shoot him. 1013 00:54:57,495 --> 00:55:01,499 Yes, this is a Challenger 2 main battle tank. 1014 00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:04,969 And this really is a bug-out vehicle. 1015 00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:07,271 It's certainly a lot better than, I don't know, 1016 00:55:07,372 --> 00:55:10,508 a Hyundai with spikes on the wheels. 1017 00:55:10,575 --> 00:55:14,379 It'll totally protect its occupants from radiation, 1018 00:55:14,412 --> 00:55:16,714 nuclear fallout, gas, 1019 00:55:16,781 --> 00:55:20,385 even a direct hit, thanks to its incredible armour, 1020 00:55:20,385 --> 00:55:22,720 from any known battlefield weapon. 1021 00:55:24,955 --> 00:55:26,591 Then there's this gun, which is-- 1022 00:55:26,657 --> 00:55:29,694 there's no other word-- enormous! 1023 00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:31,061 120mm. 1024 00:55:31,128 --> 00:55:32,730 And it could hit a target-- 1025 00:55:32,797 --> 00:55:36,133 let's say Richard Hammond's van-- 1026 00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:40,505 while the tank itself is doing 30mph over rough ground. 1027 00:55:41,972 --> 00:55:45,410 I think, though, today I shall fire while stationary 1028 00:55:45,443 --> 00:55:47,945 because I want to savour the moment. 1029 00:55:48,012 --> 00:55:50,881 OK, thank you, chaps. If we could stop there... 1030 00:55:50,948 --> 00:55:52,182 Right, going down. 1031 00:55:52,249 --> 00:55:53,618 Roger. Going down. 1032 00:55:57,254 --> 00:55:58,656 Oh, dear! 1033 00:56:00,791 --> 00:56:04,462 I've loaded the gun with a high- explosive shell. 1034 00:56:04,529 --> 00:56:06,096 It's a tracer shell, so we'll be able 1035 00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:07,598 to monitor its progress 1036 00:56:07,665 --> 00:56:10,568 as it arcs toward the target. 1037 00:56:10,635 --> 00:56:12,770 Oh, Commander Clarkson, this is fantastic! 1038 00:56:12,837 --> 00:56:15,139 I can see him right there. Have you got him? 1039 00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:16,807 Yeah. 1040 00:56:18,275 --> 00:56:19,510 You bastards! 1041 00:56:19,577 --> 00:56:21,946 Oh, just put him out of his misery, will you? 1042 00:56:22,012 --> 00:56:23,147 Fire! 1043 00:56:37,995 --> 00:56:42,767 I'm not sure his bug-out vehicle was quite as strong 1044 00:56:42,833 --> 00:56:44,702 as he may have led you to believe. 1045 00:56:49,474 --> 00:56:50,908 Right... 1046 00:57:00,685 --> 00:57:02,119 Many months later, 1047 00:57:02,186 --> 00:57:05,055 I was ready to unveil my third attempt... 1048 00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:09,093 ...an impregnable fortress. 1049 00:57:11,862 --> 00:57:13,097 Oh, yeah! 1050 00:57:15,065 --> 00:57:16,967 This is bug-out heaven! 1051 00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:20,638 I've used as my inspiration 1052 00:57:20,705 --> 00:57:22,973 the armoured personnel carrier from Aliens, 1053 00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:26,811 on the basis that if it can protect Sigourney Weaver 1054 00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:30,080 from that metal bitey thing with teeth, 1055 00:57:30,147 --> 00:57:34,118 it can keep me safe from Jeremy Clarkson and James May. 1056 00:57:34,184 --> 00:57:37,922 Underneath this beast are the basic elements of an Alvis Stalwart. 1057 00:57:37,988 --> 00:57:41,358 So it was already armour-plated, amphibious, 1058 00:57:41,425 --> 00:57:42,793 massively powerful, 1059 00:57:42,860 --> 00:57:44,962 six-wheel drive and four-wheel steering. 1060 00:57:51,201 --> 00:57:54,605 And what I've gone and done is improve it. 1061 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:06,283 It's got a honeycombed lattice work 1062 00:58:06,350 --> 00:58:08,452 of ceramic-steel armour plating. 1063 00:58:08,553 --> 00:58:10,788 It's three times thicker than the armour you'll find 1064 00:58:10,855 --> 00:58:14,559 on the turret of an Abrams A1M1 tank. 1065 00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:22,967 In testing, I fired a 7.62 round at that hull, 1066 00:58:23,033 --> 00:58:25,870 and all it left was a mark like that one. 1067 00:58:27,371 --> 00:58:28,939 This thing is incredible. 1068 00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:37,081 Whatever those two are planning this time, 1069 00:58:37,147 --> 00:58:38,683 it won't work. 1070 00:58:38,749 --> 00:58:42,687 They won't be able to damage my soup now. 1071 00:58:47,491 --> 00:58:48,826 JAMES: Drone feed stabilised. 1072 00:58:48,893 --> 00:58:50,595 Vehicle spotted in the open. 1073 00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:53,463 45 stand by to engage target. 1074 00:58:53,598 --> 00:58:55,600 45 stood to engage target. 1075 00:59:04,809 --> 00:59:07,845 This shell... is twice as powerful 1076 00:59:07,912 --> 00:59:12,382 as the shell we fired from the tank. 1077 00:59:12,449 --> 00:59:16,053 And it can hit a target 13 miles away. 1078 00:59:20,758 --> 00:59:22,292 Loading weapon. 1079 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:31,368 Hot room, gun loaded. Gun ready. 1080 00:59:31,435 --> 00:59:32,703 Fire mission, 1081 00:59:32,770 --> 00:59:37,642 target number Uniform Tango 1805. 1082 00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:39,744 Altitude 35. 1083 00:59:39,810 --> 00:59:42,847 Direction 4600. 1084 00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:47,752 Gun target line 130. Ready 68. 1085 00:59:47,818 --> 00:59:49,486 Command approve. 1086 00:59:49,553 --> 00:59:51,388 45. Engage. 1087 00:59:51,455 --> 00:59:54,659 Command approve. 45. Fire. 1088 01:00:00,898 --> 01:00:04,168 They're bored. They've realised I'm unhurtable... 1089 01:00:05,535 --> 01:00:06,937 ...and given up. 1090 01:00:08,372 --> 01:00:09,907 Five seconds to impact. 1091 01:00:09,974 --> 01:00:11,709 They probably think it's really funny. 1092 01:00:11,776 --> 01:00:13,978 They probably think I'm out here all... 1093 01:00:23,688 --> 01:00:25,856 45. Target destroyed. 1094 01:00:36,533 --> 01:00:38,669 - Yeah. 1095 01:00:40,337 --> 01:00:42,072 Now, 1096 01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:44,775 we went through the wreckage afterwards 1097 01:00:44,842 --> 01:00:48,378 and this is all that remains of Richard Hammond. 1098 01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:50,314 He's just dust, and we know it is Hammond 1099 01:00:50,380 --> 01:00:53,784 because we found this suspiciously white tooth... 1100 01:00:53,851 --> 01:00:56,553 - ...in it. That's... 1101 01:00:57,922 --> 01:01:01,058 - That's him. - That's him. 1102 01:01:02,026 --> 01:01:04,294 So, there you are, preppers. 1103 01:01:04,361 --> 01:01:07,732 The tragic remains of Richard Hammond are proof positive 1104 01:01:07,798 --> 01:01:10,801 that your hobby is utterly pointless. 1105 01:01:10,868 --> 01:01:13,938 - You spilled him! - Spilt him on the floor. 1106 01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,740 Now you've got him all over your shoes. 1107 01:01:15,773 --> 01:01:17,808 I know. Even when he's dust, he's annoying. 1108 01:01:17,875 --> 01:01:19,443 - Anyway... 1109 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:20,778 On that terrible disappointment, 1110 01:01:20,845 --> 01:01:22,813 it is time to end. 1111 01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:24,148 He's pretty much gone now. 1112 01:01:24,214 --> 01:01:25,515 Thank you very much for watching. 1113 01:01:25,582 --> 01:01:27,217 See you next time. Goodbye!