1 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,758 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 2 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,534 Greetings. Thank you. 3 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,607 Thank you so much. 4 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,944 Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. 5 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,879 Thank you, thank you. 6 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:23,584 Welcome to The Grand Tour. And in this week's programme: 7 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,155 I drive a saloon car. 8 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:29,823 [EXPLOSIONS] 9 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:33,527 James drives a catering lorry. 10 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,698 And Richard has a knife fight. 11 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,667 Let's dance. 12 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,169 [LAUGHTER] 13 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,704 That is all to come, but first of all, 14 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,774 let me talk you through where we are. It's South Africa. 15 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:50,077 Over there, in the distance, you can see Johannesburg. 16 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:54,782 But this place here is called The Cradle of Humankind. 17 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,818 Now it's called that because archaeologists have determined 18 00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:03,191 it was on this very spot that mankind separated from the ape. 19 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,459 Ahem. 20 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,063 Well, I mean... 21 00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,400 [CHEERING] 22 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,202 See? We haven't even begun. 23 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,569 - What? - Be reasonable. 24 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,005 You've learnt to put socks on, 25 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,540 but other than that, mate... 26 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,575 Listen, I'm trying to be profound here, OK? 27 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,511 - Carry on, carry on. - I'm trying to be profound. 28 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,246 Because this is ground zero. 29 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,748 This is where all of human history began. 30 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:31,319 Anyone who comes here, it's like coming home. 31 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,221 - Jeremy. - What? 32 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:36,624 How long has it taken some of us to evolve from being apes? 33 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,926 - [LAUGHTER] - It's taken 34 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:42,230 two million and a hundred... 35 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,997 [LAUGHTER] 36 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,500 [CHEERING AND GOADING] 37 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:53,474 You at home may be wondering why everybody here is applauding, 38 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,979 but it's because while the rest of mankind 39 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:02,716 has managed to grasp the concept of arithmetic, 40 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,753 the President of South Africa, Jacob Zuma... 41 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,855 Well, how can I put this? He sort of hasn't. 42 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,924 I've got a clip here to show you what I'm on about. 43 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:15,596 We announce that our membership figures 44 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:21,134 stood at...769, 45 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,970 eight-hundred and... 46 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,639 [LAUGHTER] 47 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,174 700... 48 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,676 [LAUGHTER] 49 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,444 Listen properly. 50 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:35,783 769 thousand, 51 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,786 820... 52 00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,187 [CLEARS THROAT] 53 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:44,558 [LAUGHTER] 54 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,295 I mean, honestly. 55 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,198 The funny thing is... 56 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,668 Jacob Zuma is a bit of a controversial figure here. 57 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,305 He recently installed a swimming pool at his home. 58 00:03:57,305 --> 00:04:00,974 And then, because he'd used taxpayers' money to do that, 59 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:05,746 he said it was actually a water storage facility in case of a fire. 60 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,649 So, in other words, if he burst into flames, 61 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,784 he can jump into it and put himself out 62 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:15,122 in ten hundred and... three hundred...seconds. 63 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,357 He has also bought himself 64 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,125 what he claims is a fire engine. 65 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,927 Nice. 66 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,431 He's also got himself an ambulance. 67 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,534 Yep. Can't be too careful. 68 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,836 Motoring in South Africa. 69 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,171 Big problem here, of course, is the wildlife, 70 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,874 because how do you accurately warn motorists 71 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,510 that there may be a deer-y thing ahead 72 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,912 and it could be full of helium? 73 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,047 [LAUGHTER] 74 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,715 Well, the authorities have had a go. 75 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,617 They've come up with this as a sign. 76 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:47,187 It's not bad, except they've got the word wrong. 77 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:50,358 [LAUGHTER] 78 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,092 What? 79 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,494 It's wrong, isn't it? 80 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,195 - It's not baboons. - No, it's not. 81 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,898 We're from England. We know that's not a baboon. 82 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,202 Baboons are actually very dangerous here. 83 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,705 [LAUGHTER] 84 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,173 Certainly, they've got a better idea 85 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:09,242 of how to handle a gun than the local police. 86 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,379 [LAUGHTER] 87 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:14,848 He's actually using that as a shooting stick. 88 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,817 Shall we get on with the show? 89 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,387 - Yes, good idea. Good plan. - Yes, let's. 90 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,854 And we start with Aston Martin. 91 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,223 The company must have had a meeting recently 92 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,725 and the bosses must have said, 93 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,059 "It's gonna be a few years now 94 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,761 "until the next Bond film is out, 95 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,797 "so what are we gonna do at Aston Martin 96 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,032 to generate some headlines in the meantime?" 97 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,934 And what they must have decided is, 98 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,203 to make a car that is as good as a car can be. 99 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,472 They weren't talking about making a racing car 100 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,707 because in racing there are rules 101 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,509 about how big the engine can be 102 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,110 and what sort of tyres you can use. 103 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,978 And they weren't talking about making a road car, 104 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,881 that would have to meet emissions regulations, 105 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,451 have comfy rubber bits in the suspension. 106 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,085 And all that stuff would slow it down. 107 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,754 Exactly. They wanted to make a car 108 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,424 that adhered to no rules and no regulations. 109 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:58,492 So they have. 110 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,438 This is what they came up with. 111 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:20,448 It costs £1.8 million. 112 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,084 And it's called the Vulcan. 113 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,789 Spectacular, isn't it? 114 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,729 But not very practical. 115 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,376 [GRUNTS] 116 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,078 [GRUNTS] 117 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,282 [GRUNTS] 118 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,084 Oh, God. Ow! 119 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,052 Agh! 120 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,990 [GRUNTS] 121 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,392 Hold on... Nope. 122 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,295 How are you...? 123 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,497 No. 124 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,131 Agh! 125 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,867 Now I'm totally stuck. 126 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,270 Oh, yeah. 127 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,739 [PANTING] 128 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,709 You will be able to edit this out, won't you? 129 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,677 I don't want people thinking I'm fat. 130 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,115 Right. I'm gonna pop it into gear now. 131 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,518 You may hear this a little bit. 132 00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:31,852 [CLUNK] 133 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:34,522 - [CLUNK] - [LOW BUZZING] 134 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,056 [CLUNK] 135 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,591 Good. First. 136 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,893 Er...foot on clutch. 137 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:44,698 And now it's time to fire up the seven-litre V12. 138 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,639 - [CLUNK] - [ENGINE REVS] 139 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,678 - [CLUNK] - [ENGINE STOPS] 140 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,050 - [CLUNK] - [LOW BUZZING] 141 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,918 It's quite normal. 142 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,787 [CLUNK] 143 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,191 [ENGINE REVS] 144 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,563 [ENGINE REVS] 145 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:20,167 When I got going, things didn't get much better. 146 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:28,341 Even at slow speeds, it is quite loud in here, 147 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,645 which is why I'm wearing this silly face microphone 148 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,715 so you can hear what I'm on about. 149 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:39,119 The noisiest part of this car, however, is not the engine. 150 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,888 [ENGINE REVS] 151 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,824 [SQUEALING] 152 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,095 That's the brakes. 153 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,797 [SQUEALING] 154 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:52,099 They are quite... They are quite squeaky. 155 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,336 [BRAKES CONTINUE TO SQUEAL] 156 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,607 It actually sounds like I'm stamping on a piglet. 157 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,613 And things get worse when you put your foot down. 158 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,180 [ENGINE REVS] 159 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,021 I'm not going to say that it's like 160 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:17,224 being attacked by a bear because it isn't. 161 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,661 But it is like being in a room with a bear 162 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,631 that's thinking of attacking you. 163 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:28,802 At the moment I've turned the engine down on this knob here 164 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,638 to its minimum setting. 165 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:33,907 It's only producing 500 horsepower. 166 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,979 So it's not really the speed that's scary. 167 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,714 Oh, God! 168 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,216 It's the noise and the harshness 169 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,252 and the vibrations. 170 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,492 It's not a very well-equipped car either. 171 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,528 The windows don't wind down, for instance. 172 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,698 There are no toys at all. 173 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:01,001 And you only get half a steering wheel. 174 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,107 However, there is one amazing thing 175 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,010 you get for your £1.8 million. 176 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:14,181 An all-expenses-paid trip to a racetrack of your choice, 177 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,016 where an Aston Martin test driver 178 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,318 will teach you how to drive your car, 179 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,755 not with the engine wound down to 500 horsepower, 180 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,624 but with it turned up... 181 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,326 ...to the max. 182 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,774 Holy cow! Ha-ha-ha! 183 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:50,050 The engine is now producing 820 horsepower. 184 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:54,654 And the speed just beggars belief. 185 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,191 The bear is in attack mode. 186 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:06,199 The figures say it'll do 0-60 in 2.9 seconds. 187 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:11,271 And has a top speed of 208 with that wing on the back. 188 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,775 But it feels a hell of a lot faster than that. 189 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,010 Oh, God! 190 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,987 The other thing you get for your money 191 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,789 is a squadron of mechanics. 192 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:35,462 But sadly... not a handbrake. 193 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,299 Right, what I've done now is I've taken... yes... 194 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,634 I've taken the steering wheel off, 195 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,772 so I can't put it in gear to stop it rolling away. 196 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:48,375 Oh, God. 197 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,510 Agh. 198 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,445 Argh, argh... 199 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,218 When I'd finally got it to stop, 200 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:03,056 the jacks were deployed and the mechanics set to work. 201 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,592 That's the thing about the Vulcan. 202 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,361 Wing angle, roll bar, suspension, brakes. 203 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:13,801 Everything can be adjusted to suit your personal taste. 204 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:17,070 After ten minutes of pretending I knew what they were doing, 205 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,339 I was back on the track. 206 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:27,948 And the car felt... just as bonkers as it had done before. 207 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:33,220 However, I've changed. 208 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:37,357 I've been driving this thing now, 209 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,259 I don't know, three or four hours, 210 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,295 and I'm starting to... understand it. 211 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,097 I'm starting to get used to it. 212 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,835 I'm starting to trust it. 213 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:52,039 Now I'm starting to understand... 214 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,907 why the Vulcan can go round 215 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,244 the Nardo handling circuit in southern Italy 216 00:12:57,244 --> 00:13:02,850 nine seconds faster than the McLaren P1. 217 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:07,420 Nine seconds in car time, that's a year! 218 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,895 You get phenomenal mechanical grip 219 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,864 in the low-speed corners, 220 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,631 and then, on the Isn't Straight, 221 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,201 you've got a ton-and-a-half of downforce, 222 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,336 thanks to its aerodynamics. 223 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:31,078 Then you have the power from the engine, 224 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:34,882 which feels, well, old-fashioned. 225 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,416 Proper. 226 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,652 I'm surprised it doesn't have carburettors. 227 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,390 I love this thing very much. 228 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,662 And what I love most of all 229 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,798 is that it's not a test bed. 230 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:55,903 It's not an example of what cars will be like in the future. 231 00:13:55,903 --> 00:14:00,140 It's a celebration of what they were like in the past. 232 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,911 What it is... 233 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:06,079 is old time rock'n'roll. 234 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,220 - [CHEERING] - Thank you, thank you. 235 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,422 Thank you very much. 236 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,393 - So... - What? 237 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,662 I get the impression you quite liked the car. 238 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,431 Oh, it's unbelievable. 239 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,499 What I loved most of all is they've made it out of bits 240 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,601 that they already had lying around in the factory. 241 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,103 It's like you going home 242 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,939 after your tripto South Africa, opening the fridge, 243 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,273 and using what's there 244 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,208 to make a delicious shepherd's pie. 245 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,945 What, some stale milk and an old piece of cheese? 246 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,346 [LAUGHTER] 247 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,982 - And it costs £1.8 million? - Yes. 248 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,616 How much is that, Jeremy, in rand? 249 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,953 Ten hundred and 30 million and a million. 250 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,320 [LAUGHTER] 251 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,824 But for that it does 0-60 in 2.9 seconds? 252 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:55,963 So it's nearly as fast as an Aventador or a Caterham R600, 253 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,497 or an Ariel Atom V8, 254 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,967 but much more expensive! 255 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,135 And not road legal. 256 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,837 Yes. Thank you very much for relieving yourself all over my enthusiasm. 257 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,273 - You're welcome. - [LAUGHTER] 258 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,108 It is a brilliant, brilliant car. 259 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,977 And only one question now remains. 260 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,712 How fast will it go round our track 261 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,614 in the hands of a man 262 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:19,052 who thinks that everything British is basically communist? 263 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,820 Here he is. 264 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:24,124 Looking a bit confused. 265 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:28,261 All right, folks, let's see what this bag of bolts will do. 266 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:33,133 JEREMY: And he's off, and immediately on to the Isn't Straight. 267 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,768 First corner coming up. 268 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,072 And he's flat through there. That is ballsy. 269 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,708 Changing down, though, for the second corner 270 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,110 on the Isn't Straight, 271 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,677 but now he can use full power. 272 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,579 800 brake horsepower? 273 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,016 Are you kiddin' me? 274 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:53,586 JEREMY: Now, hard on the brakes for Your Name Here. 275 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,888 He has got to be impressed with this. 276 00:15:55,888 --> 00:16:01,194 For about $50,000, I could get one of my old trucks NASCAR style. 277 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,430 It's got 800 brake horsepower. 278 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,599 Go deer hunting, 279 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,801 you got room for a couple deer in the back. 280 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,438 I don't think you can put no deer in this thing. 281 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,106 JEREMY: Plenty of deer to run over, though, 282 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,575 back on the Isn't Straight. 283 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,211 James Bond drives one of these. 284 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:21,448 Shit. Vin Diesel would whip his ass. 285 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,484 JEREMY: Yes, I'm sure he would, but down into first. 286 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,654 - [TYRES SQUEAL] - I don't know about this thing. 287 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,057 It's like a red-headed stepchild I'm talkin'. 288 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,926 Be damn ugly. 289 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,963 JEREMY: Not sure he's fully concentrating past Old Lady's House. 290 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:40,267 But he is flat out towards Substation. It is bumpy here. 291 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,903 And there's new Tarmac on the apex. Will it kick the tail out? 292 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,273 Yes, it does indeed. He's OK. 293 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,475 Into Field of Sheep. No sheep today. 294 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,976 And he's across the line. 295 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,511 [CHEERING] 296 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,182 Hell of a track, though. 297 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,550 - It is a hell of a track. - Big car. 298 00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,720 Anyway, we must now bring up the lap board 299 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,691 and find out how fast the American got round in the Vulcan. 300 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,194 Let's have a look. Ooh, it's quick. 301 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,996 RICHARD: Oh, hello. Hello. 302 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,498 [CHEERING] 303 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,438 There you go, see? Old time rock'n'roll. 304 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:22,575 Old time rock'n'roll has beaten rap and techno. 305 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,677 - And R and B. - [LAUGHTER] 306 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,479 - And is now at the top. - Very good. 307 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,116 Well done, and thank you. Now we must move on. 308 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:34,321 It's time for us to take a gentle stroll down Conversation Street. 309 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,389 [MOODY JAZZ SAXOPHONE] 310 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,594 Right, sticking with Aston Martin, 311 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,165 they've teamed up with Red Bull Racing to create this. 312 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,934 It's called the 001. 313 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:53,140 It has a V12, no turbos, none of that sort of hybrid witchcraft. 314 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,176 Yet it produces 900 horsepower 315 00:17:56,176 --> 00:18:00,213 in a car that only weighs 900 kilos. 316 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,815 - [AUDIENCE MURMURS] - Staggering. 317 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,984 Well, more than staggering, that is a magic figure, 318 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,754 cos that means it has one horsepower per kilogram. 319 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,956 And no other car gets close to that. 320 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:13,893 Not remotely. The Vulcan's barely half that. It's staggering. 321 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,364 The only problem I have with this... and you just have to look at it. 322 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,666 Another angle we've got here. Look at that. 323 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:23,069 You know that car is gonna be all about aerodynamics 324 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,338 and particularly downforce. 325 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,639 And I hate downforce. 326 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,808 What do you mean, you hate downforce? 327 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:33,180 Because they tell you you can go round a 90-degree bend at 100mph 328 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,782 because of the weight of the air pressing down on the body. 329 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,050 It's like having an invisible elephant. 330 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,987 - [LAUGHTER] - What if the elephant falls off? 331 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,589 [LAUGHTER] 332 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,324 It's not a real elephant! It can't fall off! 333 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,459 But how can you trust something you don't see? 334 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:50,463 Wait. No, I'm with him because what if you drove through a sudden vacuum? 335 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,200 Well, that's not gonna happen either, is it? 336 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,202 Hammond, listen. There has to be a speed 337 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,003 in a car with active downforce, like that one, 338 00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:00,573 where you go round a corner too fast for the tyres, 339 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,242 too fast for the mechanical grip, 340 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,345 but not fast enough for the downforce to be working. 341 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,913 So you'd have to say to the police, 342 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,982 "I crashed because I wasn't going fast enough." 343 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,384 - It's true. - Potentially. 344 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,952 There's another point, actually, 345 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,787 the handling is gonna depend on the weather. 346 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,690 If it's a really hot day, the air will be thinner. 347 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,727 - No, thicker. - No, it's thinner on a hot day. 348 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,729 See, I'd be messed up already cos I'd have the wrong... 349 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,564 That's the point. You got a really hot day, 350 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,366 and you don't really want to be driving a car 351 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,900 where whether or not you get round a corner 352 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,002 depends on whether or not the sun's out. 353 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,673 So you now want weather forecasts to include cornering speeds? 354 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,742 It's not just weather. Altitude. 355 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,445 You could drive that car round a corner at 100mph 356 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,480 in Holland, sea level, 357 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,282 but, what are we here, 6,000 feet up? 358 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,783 6,000 feet up here. 359 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,085 You'd barely be able to get round at three mph. 360 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,588 You'd crash it into a tree, or a visible elephant. 361 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:51,258 - [LAUGHTER] - They are real. 362 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:54,126 Exactly. I just... Honestly, downforce... 363 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,763 I don't like having to trust something you can't see. 364 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,966 - It's like North Korea. - [LAUGHTER] 365 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,935 - Or the contraceptive pill. - [LAUGHTER] 366 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,173 - That was an overshare. - [LAUGHTER] 367 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:10,743 There's actually another hyper car I want to draw your attention to. 368 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,179 - Replacement for the Veyron. - AUDIENCE: Oooh! 369 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,014 That is the Bugatti Chiron. 370 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,885 It's got a quad turbo 8-litre W16 engine, 371 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,789 which every minute inhales 13,000 gallons of air. 372 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,057 - Just imagine. - It's unbelievable. 373 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,993 1,500 horsepower. 374 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:31,431 And the top speed is limited to 261 mph. 375 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:35,335 They say it would do 288 but that would be irresponsible on the road. 376 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,270 [LAUGHTER] 377 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,307 It's got diamonds in the speakers for better sound quality. 378 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,342 Of course it has, yeah. 379 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:47,947 Oh, you'll like this. At top speed, the force on each tyre is 3,800G. 380 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,449 A man dies at 9G. 381 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,651 If you drive the Chiron flat out 382 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,086 it'll drain its tank in nine minutes. 383 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,622 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS] 384 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,724 - Nine minutes? - [LAUGHTER] 385 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,192 Hang on a minute. 261mph at nine minutes. 386 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:03,596 That means you'd have to fill up with fuel every 39 miles. 387 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:07,334 Well, less - you can't drive until you run out, you'd have to look for a petrol station. 388 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,136 Yes, James, it really isn't a practical car, is it? 389 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,438 [LAUGHTER] 390 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,673 Gonna give you the most amazing stat, though. 391 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,775 It's about the people who are buying this car. 392 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,744 They've got 200 orders so far. 393 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,912 And the average person who's ordered one 394 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:26,686 already has 64 cars, three helicopters, three jets and one yacht. 395 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,187 Zuma. 396 00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:29,989 [LAUGHTER] 397 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:37,029 I reckon he's got one already. 398 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,499 Didn't say that. He didn't say that. 399 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:42,134 Shall we move it on? 400 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:46,839 In South Africa, there are 35 carjackings every day. 401 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,908 - Every day? - Every day. 402 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,811 I've got to say, well done, that's an amazing figure. 403 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:55,382 I can't believe it. How have you got time to come here? 404 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,083 Cos you've got stuff to do. 405 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,519 They've all come here in someone else's car. 406 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,388 - [LAUGHTER] - So you've already done it? 407 00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:04,391 But what they don't realise is they're all walking home. 408 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:05,992 I've done a bit of research. 409 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,762 The most commonly jacked cars, carjacked cars, 410 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:14,133 are the VW Polo, the Toyota Hiace and the Toyota Hilux. 411 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,935 But they're the best-selling cars in South Africa. 412 00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:19,105 Exactly. The VW Polo is the best-selling car in South Africa. 413 00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:20,707 So why would you buy a car 414 00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:23,943 which increases your chance of being shot in the head and your car being stolen? 415 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:27,880 Why not buy a car that nobody would want to steal? 416 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:32,419 No, cos if I lived here, I'd get something like a beige Volvo Estate. 417 00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:35,154 - That's just a car you want! - [LAUGHTER] 418 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,790 You're using it as an excuse to get your dream car. 419 00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:39,225 [LAUGHTER] 420 00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:41,494 Look, Hammond, I've explained it to you before. 421 00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:44,831 Having a Volvo Estate is a bit like needing to go to the dentist. 422 00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:47,734 It's gonna happen. Get it over with. Just do it. 423 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,769 I don't want to get it over with. 424 00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,438 That's like going to the dentist and saying, 425 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:53,740 "Take all my teeth out cos they're gonna fall out." 426 00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:56,476 At the barber's: "Just pull it all out, it'll fall out anyway." 427 00:22:56,476 --> 00:23:01,180 The doctor: "Stop me being able to retain my urine. It's gonna happen, too." 428 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:04,451 I'm gonna bury myself and get it all over with once and for all. 429 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:06,285 He has got a point, seriously. 430 00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:08,755 Let's enjoy it before we have to have the Volvo. 431 00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:12,725 But why do you all buy cars that you're going to get carjacked in? 432 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,861 Has anyone got a Volkswagen Polo here? 433 00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:18,798 You have? Did you buy that for yourself? 434 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:20,867 - My dad bought it for me. - Your dad bought it? 435 00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:23,903 - [LAUGHTER] - Wow! Oh, nice gift! 436 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:26,205 What sort of madness is this? 437 00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:29,476 Has anyone got a Toyota Hilux? 438 00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:31,478 Yeah. This is insanity. 439 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:33,846 - Is it yours? - [LAUGHTER] 440 00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,549 What did you start out with this morning? 441 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,184 - [LAUGHTER] - It's unbelievable. 442 00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:40,086 Anyway, listen, we gotta move it on. 443 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:42,288 Because, here in South Africa, 444 00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:44,791 people have an interesting approach to preventing car theft. 445 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:46,759 Got a picture here of one man's solution. 446 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,595 RICHARD: That's a python. 447 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,763 Now there's no question it's gonna work. 448 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,000 I would not steal a car that had that on the dashboard. 449 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,335 However, a python's not like a burglar alarm. 450 00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:58,304 You can't turn it off. 451 00:23:58,304 --> 00:24:00,707 When you come back to your car, how do you say to the snake, 452 00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:02,408 "It's my car, don't strangle me." 453 00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:04,043 - [LAUGHTER] - You can't. 454 00:24:04,043 --> 00:24:06,078 I'm pretty sure you can't train a python, can you? 455 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,347 You can't. That's why you never see sheep snakes 456 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:10,517 or guide snakes for the blind. 457 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:12,051 - [LAUGHTER] - It'll never happen. 458 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:14,153 I have to say, 459 00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:16,523 in England, we've got an even more stupid solution. 460 00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:19,291 This chap's come up with an idea called "Bike Mine". 461 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:22,962 I've got a video of him here explaining how it works. 462 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,633 It can be attached quickly to protect almost any personal possession 463 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,701 you store outside or in a garage or shed. 464 00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:32,371 Its robust steel construction is covered in a rubber skin 465 00:24:32,371 --> 00:24:34,240 to protect your property. 466 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,876 Bike Mine is safe because the detonators are self-contained... 467 00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:39,712 as well as legal to own and use. 468 00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:42,882 Bike Mine is reliable because there are no batteries to run down 469 00:24:42,882 --> 00:24:45,552 and only one moving part. 470 00:24:45,552 --> 00:24:47,687 - [SMALL EXPLOSION] - [LAUGHTER] 471 00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:54,561 It's not gonna work. 472 00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:56,328 What I can't understand is, 473 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,865 he said it can also protect any other personal property you may have. 474 00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:01,033 - What, like a Ming vase? - [LAUGHTER] 475 00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:04,604 "Are you worried about your child being kidnapped? 476 00:25:04,604 --> 00:25:06,606 Simply hang this bomb round their neck." 477 00:25:06,606 --> 00:25:08,107 [LAUGHTER] 478 00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:10,877 So, moving on, to Jordan, weirdly, 479 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:13,780 where the government has just built a mock town, 480 00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:16,082 so that special forces from all over the world 481 00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:18,484 can turn up and have a competition 482 00:25:18,484 --> 00:25:20,653 to see which one is best. 483 00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:22,955 Yes, and this year, Mr Wilman, 484 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:26,225 who is the Fat Man who controls our lives, 485 00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:28,127 decided that us three should go and take part. 486 00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:30,129 Obviously there'd be a lot of shooting, 487 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:32,064 running about and doing somersaults. 488 00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,133 None of which we'd be any good at. 489 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:37,770 No, but, the SAS, the world's first special forces unit, 490 00:25:37,770 --> 00:25:40,139 was created to be fast, 491 00:25:40,139 --> 00:25:42,041 to get into the battle quickly and then get out again. 492 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:45,645 So there would also be a lot of high-speed driving. 493 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,279 - Erm... - Yes, I know. 494 00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:49,682 That is a bit of a problem. We'll gloss over that. 495 00:25:49,682 --> 00:25:53,285 Anyway, we were sent out there and this is what happened. 496 00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:11,638 JEREMY: This is it. 497 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:14,741 The special forces training base deep inside Amman. 498 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,877 The city, obviously, not... not... 499 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:22,114 Anyway, arriving now to demonstrate what we'd have to do later, 500 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:25,451 a squad of special forces soldiers. 501 00:26:25,451 --> 00:26:28,788 They exfoliated from a Black Hawk helicopter on ropes 502 00:26:28,788 --> 00:26:33,425 and then fought their way through a terrorist-infested building. 503 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,361 [GUNFIRE] 504 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,400 Their next task was to steal a car, 505 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,271 which they used to reach a hijacked airliner. 506 00:26:47,573 --> 00:26:51,143 Here they stormed the cabin, killed the bad guys... 507 00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:52,745 [GUNFIRE] 508 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,347 and rescued a VIP. 509 00:26:57,850 --> 00:27:02,154 There was then a high-speed car chase and a running gun battle, 510 00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,323 as they escorted the rescued hostage 511 00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:06,859 to the safety of a nearby embassy. 512 00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,763 [GUNFIRE] 513 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:14,834 JAMES: That was quite impressive. 514 00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:16,368 Well, it's not like they were 515 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:17,837 - using real bullets. - Yes, they were. 516 00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:19,706 - They were not. - They were! 517 00:27:19,706 --> 00:27:21,607 Are you saying that on this, 518 00:27:21,607 --> 00:27:24,476 let's be honest, training ground, 519 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,814 people are allowed to run around with real bullets in these guns? 520 00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:29,248 - Yes. - Rubbish. 521 00:27:29,248 --> 00:27:32,251 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 522 00:27:32,251 --> 00:27:35,988 And there you are. Real bullets. 523 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:38,090 And I managed to shoot myself. 524 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,392 - Oh, yeah. - How did you do that? 525 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:41,961 Well, because, on an assault rifle, 526 00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,930 the bullets come out this side 527 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:47,066 and I'm a left-handed shot, so they just go up my arm, the casings. 528 00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:49,235 You're gonna be rubbish at this. 529 00:27:49,235 --> 00:27:52,004 Well, I'm not going to be able to use an assault rifle. 530 00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,306 I'm not gonna be able to storm that airliner. 531 00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:56,943 I'm not gonna be able to get out of the helicopter. 532 00:27:58,577 --> 00:28:01,147 JEREMY: Fearing that things may not go well, 533 00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:03,515 we were told to go and get ready. 534 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:07,119 And even that was fraught with difficulty. 535 00:28:10,056 --> 00:28:12,291 Why are you wearing white? 536 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:14,193 Snow camouflage. 537 00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:17,764 It has never, ever snowed in Jordan. 538 00:28:17,764 --> 00:28:19,298 I didn't know where Jordan was. 539 00:28:19,298 --> 00:28:21,333 You're gonna be quite visible. 540 00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:22,802 [TEXT ALERT] 541 00:28:22,802 --> 00:28:24,570 At this point, we received details 542 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:27,774 of our mission from our boss, Mr Wilman. 543 00:28:27,774 --> 00:28:30,309 "Each time one of you is killed, 544 00:28:30,309 --> 00:28:32,779 you all have to begin again." 545 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:36,582 So it's like that Tom Cruise movie. 546 00:28:36,582 --> 00:28:38,017 What, Cocktail? 547 00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:41,187 No, not Cocktail. Or Rain Man. 548 00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:43,389 This is gonna take forever. 549 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:54,801 JEREMY: Nevertheless, we were soon in the helicopter 550 00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:58,270 on our way to the start of this important rescue mission. 551 00:28:59,806 --> 00:29:01,808 Let's just get this straight. 552 00:29:01,808 --> 00:29:03,876 When we get over the building, 553 00:29:03,876 --> 00:29:05,812 we leap out of the door 554 00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:08,014 and grab the rope and slide down it? 555 00:29:08,014 --> 00:29:10,716 Pretty much, yeah, that's it. That's how it goes. 556 00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,418 You could be leader. 557 00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:15,721 Get out there, show us how it's done, we will follow. 558 00:29:15,721 --> 00:29:17,356 I don't want to. 559 00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:20,192 I've never climbed a rope or gone down one in my life. 560 00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:21,828 Well, what a time. Get on with it. 561 00:29:21,828 --> 00:29:24,096 Why don't you go first? 562 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:25,865 I can't do that. I'm scared of heights. 563 00:29:25,865 --> 00:29:27,934 Lead by example. 564 00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:31,037 - Be an inspiration to your men. - Yeah, exactly. 565 00:29:31,904 --> 00:29:33,840 How high will it be? 566 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,742 - 30 feet? - Yeah. You'll be fine. 567 00:29:36,742 --> 00:29:39,745 What happens if you fell 30 feet? 568 00:29:39,745 --> 00:29:41,247 Would you be going home with a head wand? 569 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:43,015 You'd be going home in this helicopter 570 00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:44,316 but not in that seat. 571 00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:46,152 You'd be in a bucket in the corner. 572 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:58,064 OK, here it comes. Let's do this! 573 00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:01,934 [BUZZER] 574 00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:07,439 Whoa! Jesus Christ! Stop! 575 00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:08,875 Oh, shit. 576 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,342 I'm very scared. 577 00:30:10,342 --> 00:30:11,911 Mate, that's not the attitude. 578 00:30:11,911 --> 00:30:13,679 - Go on, then! - Don't like it! 579 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:15,481 - Go down the rope! - Don't want to do it. 580 00:30:15,481 --> 00:30:17,383 - Loosen your hands a bit. - I don't want to. 581 00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,418 Do you want me to tickle you on your belly? 582 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,353 - No. - Well, go on, then! 583 00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:29,095 - Hammond! - Yeah? 584 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:30,596 My trousers have fallen down. 585 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:36,035 RICHARD: Ladies and gentlemen, Chuck Norris. 586 00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:40,139 Oh, no, no. 587 00:30:40,139 --> 00:30:43,442 Oh, yes. Have you ever 588 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:46,412 in your whole life seen anything... 589 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,613 Aaagh! 590 00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,988 I know I made that rope thing look a bit difficult, 591 00:30:55,988 --> 00:30:59,058 but actually it's surprisingly easy. 592 00:30:59,058 --> 00:31:01,393 So, why don't you go first? 593 00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:04,163 - I've got a better idea. - What? 594 00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:06,198 Why don't we just land the helicopter? 595 00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:09,068 That is a good idea. Helicopters can land. 596 00:31:23,950 --> 00:31:26,118 [QUIETLY] Stop, stop, stop. Hammond. 597 00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:29,321 Right, listen, you open the door, 598 00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,723 and I'll throw this stun grenade in. 599 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:32,959 Good idea. In three... 600 00:31:32,959 --> 00:31:34,226 No, wait, wait! 601 00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:36,028 I don't know how it works. 602 00:31:36,028 --> 00:31:37,629 Oh, for God's sake. 603 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:39,631 [MUTTERS TO HIMSELF] 604 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,302 Right. You ready, Hammond? 605 00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:45,371 - BOTH: Go! - [GRENADE THUDS] 606 00:31:45,371 --> 00:31:46,838 [EXPLOSION] 607 00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:48,440 Come on! 608 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,677 [RAPID GUNFIRE, JEREMY GROANS] 609 00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:53,712 RICHARD: I thought you said it was a stun grenade? 610 00:31:53,712 --> 00:31:56,348 JEREMY: I meant smoke. 611 00:31:56,348 --> 00:31:58,050 JAMES: I can't see a thing! 612 00:31:58,050 --> 00:32:00,219 - [ALL COUGH] - Literally nothing. 613 00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:02,688 JEREMY: When the smoke finally cleared, 614 00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:04,190 we started our sweep. 615 00:32:05,891 --> 00:32:07,693 Ssh. Quiet. 616 00:32:17,103 --> 00:32:19,171 Dog. Dog. 617 00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:23,009 No! It means door. There's a door! 618 00:32:23,009 --> 00:32:25,344 There's a door. 619 00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,146 It's not a bloody football, is it? 620 00:32:27,146 --> 00:32:29,681 - Kick it. - You put your foot flat. 621 00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,019 That's how you do it. 622 00:32:34,053 --> 00:32:36,022 - Nobody there. - It's empty. 623 00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:44,763 Nobody there. 624 00:32:44,763 --> 00:32:47,599 JEREMY: Soon, though, they were there. 625 00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:52,038 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 626 00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:59,111 [QUIETLY] We are trapped in this room. 627 00:32:59,111 --> 00:33:01,413 Well, why don't we just go out of the window? 628 00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:03,182 We could go out of the window. 629 00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:05,651 Yeah, we could do that. Cover us. 630 00:33:05,651 --> 00:33:08,654 Yeah, I'll cover you. 631 00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:11,557 RICHARD: As Jeremy laid down covering fire... 632 00:33:11,557 --> 00:33:12,791 [GUNFIRE] 633 00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:15,127 ...May and I climbed out of the window. 634 00:33:15,127 --> 00:33:17,663 But then, there was a problem. 635 00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:19,898 [STRAINING AND GRUNTING] 636 00:33:19,898 --> 00:33:21,900 [GRUNTS] 637 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,302 I'm stuck. 638 00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:25,471 - Well, push! - Ooh! 639 00:33:27,773 --> 00:33:29,141 What? 640 00:33:29,141 --> 00:33:31,410 [WHISPERS] The terrorists are in the room. 641 00:33:31,410 --> 00:33:33,079 [WHISPERS] How do you know? 642 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:34,813 They're doing things to me. 643 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,715 Ooh. 644 00:33:37,816 --> 00:33:39,718 Oooh. 645 00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:42,321 This is very uncomfortable. 646 00:33:42,321 --> 00:33:44,090 It's probably cos you're so tense. 647 00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:45,891 Ohh. James! 648 00:33:45,891 --> 00:33:47,793 - What? - Kill me. 649 00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:49,728 Shoot me. 650 00:33:49,728 --> 00:33:50,896 Gladly. 651 00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:52,531 Please hurry up. 652 00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,566 - Fully automatic? - Er... 653 00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:56,102 Get on with it! 654 00:33:56,102 --> 00:33:57,769 - Just give him the lot. - In ten... 655 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,205 Not ten! 656 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:00,972 All right, in... 657 00:34:00,972 --> 00:34:04,543 three, two, one. 658 00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,912 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 659 00:34:06,912 --> 00:34:08,414 How did you miss? 660 00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:10,449 It's true what they say about machine guns. 661 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:11,883 You can't hit a thing with them. 662 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,120 - What? - Just kill me. 663 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,122 We're trying! It's not that easy. 664 00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:17,723 Hang on. I'm out. 665 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,558 - Use the shovel. Hit me with that. - Right. 666 00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:21,127 Do you want to say anything? 667 00:34:21,127 --> 00:34:23,595 Yes. Final words. I hate you. 668 00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:25,464 You know, I've dreamt about exactly this. 669 00:34:25,464 --> 00:34:27,133 - Hurry up! - Incoming! 670 00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:28,367 [CLANGING THUD] 671 00:34:31,537 --> 00:34:33,905 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 672 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,274 We are trapped in this room. 673 00:34:35,274 --> 00:34:37,176 Why don't we go out of the window? 674 00:34:37,176 --> 00:34:39,578 Do you mind if I go through the door? 675 00:34:42,248 --> 00:34:43,849 This is better. 676 00:34:43,849 --> 00:34:47,153 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 677 00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:51,357 JEREMY: Heroically we fought off all the attackers outside the building. 678 00:34:53,058 --> 00:34:57,229 But then we were pinned down by a sniper. 679 00:35:00,366 --> 00:35:03,702 - James. James. - What? 680 00:35:03,702 --> 00:35:05,904 Go down there and steal that Renault. 681 00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:07,773 Why? 682 00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:10,075 Because this is a car show. We need a motoring element. 683 00:35:10,075 --> 00:35:12,811 - Good point. - Go! 684 00:35:12,811 --> 00:35:16,415 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth 685 00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:19,918 less able to do this kind of thing than him? 686 00:35:19,918 --> 00:35:20,786 [GUNFIRE] 687 00:35:20,786 --> 00:35:22,688 I mean, he can play the harpsichord 688 00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,257 but that's not a skill we're gonna need today. 689 00:35:25,257 --> 00:35:26,992 [GUNSHOT] 690 00:35:26,992 --> 00:35:28,727 And he's been shot. 691 00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:32,398 - James. - What? 692 00:35:32,398 --> 00:35:35,201 - Go and steal that Renault over there. - Why? 693 00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:37,836 Because this is a car show. We need a motoring element. 694 00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:40,306 Good point. 695 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:43,975 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth 696 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,612 who's less able to do this sort of thing than him? 697 00:35:46,612 --> 00:35:48,314 [GUNSHOT] 698 00:35:48,314 --> 00:35:51,283 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth... 699 00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:52,751 [GUNSHOT] 700 00:35:52,751 --> 00:35:56,121 - Can you think of anybody... - [GUNSHOT] 701 00:35:56,121 --> 00:35:58,056 - Can you think... - [GUNSHOT] 702 00:35:58,056 --> 00:35:59,791 James, you can't just keep doing 703 00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,927 the same thing over and over again. 704 00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:03,229 Nah, he'll miss eventually. 705 00:36:03,229 --> 00:36:06,298 - Oh, God. - [GUNSHOT] 706 00:36:06,298 --> 00:36:09,235 - Oh, for God's sake. - There it is. 707 00:36:09,235 --> 00:36:12,838 Because Corporal Stubborn wouldn't budge from his tactic, 708 00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:15,674 Richard and I decided that on our next attempt 709 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:18,877 we'd go into battle with some new equipment. 710 00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:22,614 Go and steal that Renault. 711 00:36:25,351 --> 00:36:27,486 [SCRATCHY RECORDING OF CLASSICAL MUSIC] 712 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:31,357 [CORK POPS] 713 00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:43,702 [GUNSHOT] 714 00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:45,837 Go and steal that Renault over there. 715 00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:49,508 [MUSIC PLAYS AT HIGHER SPEED] 716 00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:54,813 [CORK POPS] 717 00:36:54,813 --> 00:36:56,782 [PANTING] 718 00:36:58,484 --> 00:37:00,586 - [GUNSHOT] - Ohhh! 719 00:37:01,687 --> 00:37:03,722 [GUNFIRE] 720 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,592 James, go and steal that Renault over there. 721 00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:08,860 - No. - What do you mean, no? 722 00:37:08,860 --> 00:37:11,930 Well, there's a garage over there. It'll have some vehicles in it. 723 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,299 Oh, yeah. 724 00:37:16,368 --> 00:37:18,304 Now we're in a car show. 725 00:37:18,304 --> 00:37:22,674 Right, Jeremy, you go sort that sniper, we'll get these started. 726 00:37:22,674 --> 00:37:24,343 Good plan. 727 00:37:24,343 --> 00:37:27,413 Right, there's no keys. I'll hotwire it. 728 00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,881 Oh, there he is. 729 00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:34,420 Say hello to my little friend. 730 00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:35,987 [GUNSHOT] 731 00:37:37,155 --> 00:37:39,157 [WHOOSHING] 732 00:37:39,157 --> 00:37:42,193 Yes! What a shot! 733 00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:43,662 - [THUD] - Ohhh! 734 00:37:43,662 --> 00:37:45,230 I'll never be able to do that again. 735 00:37:45,230 --> 00:37:46,832 - Jeremy! - What? 736 00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:49,335 James has electrocuted himself. 737 00:37:49,335 --> 00:37:50,736 Oh, what a... 738 00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:56,107 Say hello to my little friend. 739 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,378 Right, there are no keys. I'll hotwire it. 740 00:37:59,378 --> 00:38:01,880 Have you not seen every single movie ever made? 741 00:38:07,152 --> 00:38:08,620 [ENGINE STARTS] 742 00:38:13,892 --> 00:38:17,596 There's nowhere to put a gun. That is a bad mark for Audi. 743 00:38:20,366 --> 00:38:24,536 Sport, drive, traction control off. 744 00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:25,837 Here we go! 745 00:38:33,178 --> 00:38:35,381 [ENGINE REVVING] 746 00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:42,721 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 747 00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:46,392 Unbelievable. 748 00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:50,496 - Jeremy. - What? 749 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,098 Why did your trousers fall down? 750 00:38:53,098 --> 00:38:55,767 Because there were so many grenades attached to them. 751 00:38:55,767 --> 00:38:57,669 And in the down-draught of the helicopter... 752 00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:00,906 I was very brave doing that. I was. 753 00:39:00,906 --> 00:39:03,775 - I'm sure I saw him crying. - They were tears of bravery. 754 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:06,144 Oh, that well-known expression. Tears of bravery. 755 00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:09,014 Anyway, look, there's a bit of a trend in South Africa 756 00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:12,784 for making your own car, making a car from scratch. 757 00:39:12,784 --> 00:39:14,720 We've got an example here. 758 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:17,322 This man's built this one based around the engine 759 00:39:17,322 --> 00:39:19,324 and a few bits from a BMW 318i. 760 00:39:19,324 --> 00:39:22,060 And I've got to say, I think that's pretty cool. 761 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:24,029 - It's brilliant. - There are lots of these. 762 00:39:24,029 --> 00:39:27,599 I prefer this one, also with a BMW engine, a V8, 763 00:39:27,599 --> 00:39:29,435 but the bodywork is made of denim. 764 00:39:29,435 --> 00:39:32,003 - [LAUGHTER] - A man of exquisite taste. 765 00:39:32,003 --> 00:39:33,505 [LAUGHTER] 766 00:39:33,505 --> 00:39:34,940 I think the best of them all is so good, 767 00:39:34,940 --> 00:39:36,942 we've actually brought it into the studio. 768 00:39:36,942 --> 00:39:39,445 Look, it's down here. Unbelievable, this. 769 00:39:39,445 --> 00:39:42,448 It's a replica of a Mercedes C9. 770 00:39:42,448 --> 00:39:45,350 Now that, Hammond, was the car that won 771 00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:48,454 the 24-hour Le Mans race in 1989. 772 00:39:48,454 --> 00:39:51,490 And it's so amazing, I've brought out the man who built it. 773 00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:54,626 Ladies and gentlemen, give him a warm hand. Johan Ackermann! 774 00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:56,462 Thank you very much for coming. 775 00:39:56,462 --> 00:39:57,996 [WHISTLING] 776 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:02,267 Can I just as-- 777 00:40:02,267 --> 00:40:03,769 Can I just ask, Johan, 778 00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:06,872 how did you get the styling to work? 779 00:40:06,872 --> 00:40:09,708 Well, Jeremy, there was no drawings on the internet, 780 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:12,277 so, erm... I got a book on the dimensions, 781 00:40:12,277 --> 00:40:15,681 but the closest I could get was a 1:32-scale model. 782 00:40:15,681 --> 00:40:18,049 Hang on, so you measured your toy car, 783 00:40:18,049 --> 00:40:21,620 multiplied it by 32 and built a full-sized one. 784 00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:22,954 - Yep. - That's how you did it? 785 00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:25,691 - Is it road legal? - Fully road legal. 786 00:40:25,691 --> 00:40:27,726 - It's a real car, not a model? - Yeah. 787 00:40:27,726 --> 00:40:29,795 How long did you spend building this? 788 00:40:29,795 --> 00:40:32,531 From start to roadworthy was 16 months. 789 00:40:32,531 --> 00:40:34,800 Right. Was there, or is there, 790 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,602 a marriage to have survived this? 791 00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:37,569 [LAUGHTER] 792 00:40:37,569 --> 00:40:39,571 Well, I hope so. 793 00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:41,139 My wife is here, so it must be a good sign. 794 00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:44,209 - Hello, patient lady. - [LAUGHTER] 795 00:40:44,209 --> 00:40:46,545 Well, it's a remarkable achievement, and well done. 796 00:40:46,545 --> 00:40:48,079 Ladies and gentlemen, Johan Ackermann. 797 00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:50,582 - [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] - That's brilliant. 798 00:40:50,582 --> 00:40:52,551 Brilliant. 799 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:58,056 We're moving on to a great idea 800 00:40:58,056 --> 00:41:01,392 that Richard Hammond and I have had all by our own. 801 00:41:01,392 --> 00:41:03,629 - And it is brilliant. - It is. 802 00:41:03,629 --> 00:41:07,533 It's called, Making James May Do Something He Doesn't Want To Do. 803 00:41:07,533 --> 00:41:08,834 [LAUGHTER] 804 00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:10,602 And we kick off with spinning. 805 00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:12,704 It's a South African thing. Fairly simple. 806 00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:14,740 You get an elderly rear-wheel-drive car, 807 00:41:14,740 --> 00:41:17,743 take it to a car park where you do doughnuts in it 808 00:41:17,743 --> 00:41:19,911 to a backdrop of strong rap music. 809 00:41:19,911 --> 00:41:21,847 [LAUGHTER] 810 00:41:21,847 --> 00:41:24,449 It's lively, it's interesting, and it's youthful. 811 00:41:24,449 --> 00:41:26,552 It's everything he isn't. 812 00:41:26,552 --> 00:41:28,153 [LAUGHTER] 813 00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:29,855 [RAP MUSIC] 814 00:41:33,925 --> 00:41:36,061 [CHEERING] 815 00:41:36,061 --> 00:41:37,729 [TYRES SQUEAL] 816 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:42,768 [TYRES SCREECH] 817 00:41:43,735 --> 00:41:44,803 [TYRES SQUEAL] 818 00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:46,838 Well, here we are, then, 819 00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,474 at one of Jo'burg's top spinning destinations, 820 00:41:49,474 --> 00:41:52,711 the aptly-named Wheelz 'n' Smoke Arena. 821 00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:54,813 And the object of the exercise, 822 00:41:54,813 --> 00:41:56,347 as far as I can make out, 823 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,584 is to create smoke. 824 00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:01,587 [TYRES SQUEAL] 825 00:42:01,587 --> 00:42:03,288 And drive round and round the arena 826 00:42:03,288 --> 00:42:05,323 until the tyres go bang. 827 00:42:05,323 --> 00:42:07,225 [TYRES SQUEAL AND BLOW] 828 00:42:07,225 --> 00:42:08,994 And then what's left of the tyres 829 00:42:08,994 --> 00:42:10,862 are put on a bonfire over there, 830 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,431 to make sure there's absolutely nothing left. 831 00:42:13,431 --> 00:42:15,133 [METAL GRATING] 832 00:42:16,501 --> 00:42:18,637 [TYRES SQUEAL] 833 00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:27,813 This is Stacy, and she's only about 17, I think. 834 00:42:27,813 --> 00:42:30,115 And the word round here and the noise in the crowd 835 00:42:30,115 --> 00:42:32,117 says that Stacy is actually very good at this. 836 00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:35,621 But how the bloody hell would I know? It's just a massive cloud of smoke... 837 00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:39,457 ...with some headlights occasionally appearing in it. 838 00:42:39,457 --> 00:42:41,059 [CHEERING] 839 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:43,394 To help me get into the spirit of things, 840 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:47,298 the organisers suggested I should become more involved. 841 00:42:47,298 --> 00:42:49,400 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 842 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,336 [TYRES SCREECH] 843 00:42:51,336 --> 00:42:54,072 Aaaargh! 844 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:57,342 - [GIBBERS] - [TYRES SCREECH] 845 00:42:57,342 --> 00:43:00,511 Look at the rev case, in the red constantly, mate. 846 00:43:00,511 --> 00:43:03,148 [ENGINE REVS] 847 00:43:03,148 --> 00:43:06,251 I don't like the smell of tyre smoke in the evening. 848 00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,888 Oi! Get back in! 849 00:43:09,888 --> 00:43:11,389 [CHEERING AND LAUGHING] 850 00:43:11,389 --> 00:43:13,825 Get back in the car, you [BLEEP] idiot! 851 00:43:15,293 --> 00:43:16,995 Help! 852 00:43:18,664 --> 00:43:20,098 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 853 00:43:24,535 --> 00:43:26,672 Thank you. 854 00:43:27,505 --> 00:43:29,274 [TYRES SCREECH] 855 00:43:33,411 --> 00:43:36,447 [ENGINE REVS] 856 00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:37,983 [TYRE BLOWS] 857 00:43:37,983 --> 00:43:40,085 - Has it broken? - Yes. 858 00:43:40,085 --> 00:43:41,286 Finally. 859 00:43:58,704 --> 00:44:00,305 I got 20,000 miles 860 00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:03,709 out of the last set of rear tyres on my car. 861 00:44:05,610 --> 00:44:07,245 [TYRES SCREECH] 862 00:44:30,301 --> 00:44:32,037 [CHEERING] 863 00:44:32,037 --> 00:44:34,205 Just go out there and do it. 864 00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:36,141 Fancy trying to do that in England. 865 00:44:36,141 --> 00:44:38,276 Or anywhere. Or Australia. 866 00:44:38,276 --> 00:44:39,745 Anyway, mm-mm-mm. 867 00:44:39,745 --> 00:44:43,048 James May, was there any part of that that you enjoyed? 868 00:44:43,048 --> 00:44:45,316 - Nope. - Good. 869 00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:48,419 But now it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash. 870 00:44:53,759 --> 00:44:56,061 [LAUGHTER] 871 00:44:56,061 --> 00:44:57,996 Now after what happened last week, 872 00:44:57,996 --> 00:45:00,365 our guest this week declined our offer 873 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:03,068 to arrive at the studio on a hovercraft, 874 00:45:03,068 --> 00:45:04,870 saying she would prefer to walk. 875 00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:06,604 - It's understandable. - Yes, it is. 876 00:45:06,604 --> 00:45:08,306 I'm sure that despite this, 877 00:45:08,306 --> 00:45:11,109 you will still give her an enormous welcome. 878 00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:14,279 Although she's now a major Hollywood star, 879 00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:16,681 she was actually born here in South Africa. 880 00:45:16,681 --> 00:45:19,785 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Charlize Theron! 881 00:45:19,785 --> 00:45:22,653 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 882 00:45:22,653 --> 00:45:25,991 We must ask her about A Million Ways To Die In The West. 883 00:45:25,991 --> 00:45:27,525 I love that film. 884 00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:30,261 But what I really love is the way she looks in it. 885 00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:34,465 The hat and the floaty skirt. She's on a bicycle as well. 886 00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:37,468 [AUDIENCE GASPS AND GROANS] 887 00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:40,405 JEREMY: Oh, no. RICHARD: Oh, God. 888 00:45:41,606 --> 00:45:44,442 - Oh, not... - Ladies and gentlemen, 889 00:45:44,442 --> 00:45:46,511 Charlize Theron has been attacked by a lion. 890 00:45:46,511 --> 00:45:49,314 - Oh, no. - Literally nothing we can do. 891 00:45:51,016 --> 00:45:52,951 Does that mean she's not coming on, then? 892 00:45:52,951 --> 00:45:56,121 - [LAUGHTER] - She's been eaten by a lion. 893 00:45:56,121 --> 00:45:58,589 Well, look, are there any other well-known 894 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,191 South Africans in the audience? 895 00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:02,160 It's not very likely, James. 896 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,995 There's only two globally famous South Africans. 897 00:46:03,995 --> 00:46:06,832 One's now in a lion and the other's in prison. 898 00:46:06,832 --> 00:46:08,399 [LAUGHTER] 899 00:46:08,399 --> 00:46:10,568 Let's get back to what we were doing. 900 00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:13,905 Earlier on, we were at a Jordanian special forces training base 901 00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:16,407 learning to be super army soldiers. 902 00:46:16,407 --> 00:46:20,345 And we pick up the action as we rush towards the hijacked airliner 903 00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:24,249 to rescue a VIP and take them to safety. 904 00:46:35,861 --> 00:46:37,863 Let me talk you through the plan. 905 00:46:37,863 --> 00:46:43,368 James and Richard will use the catering lorry as an assault vehicle. 906 00:46:43,368 --> 00:46:45,937 And then, after we've rescued the VIP, 907 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:49,975 we'll use the Audi as a getaway car. 908 00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:57,348 Now what we're doing here, very cleverly, 909 00:46:57,348 --> 00:46:59,317 is we're going round the back of the plane 910 00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:02,153 because planes don't have rear windows 911 00:47:02,153 --> 00:47:05,523 or door mirrors, so they won't see us sneaking up. 912 00:47:05,523 --> 00:47:07,225 Stealthy, you see. 913 00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:10,795 Hammond, we're manoeuvring in. 914 00:47:10,795 --> 00:47:13,031 RICHARD: OK. JAMES: Dab the brakes. 915 00:47:16,334 --> 00:47:18,203 RICHARD: Right, we are in position. 916 00:47:18,203 --> 00:47:22,773 James is gonna lift me on this platform to the door, 917 00:47:22,773 --> 00:47:24,309 then we go in. 918 00:47:24,309 --> 00:47:26,611 Right, are you ready? 919 00:47:26,611 --> 00:47:28,479 I'm ready to lower the jacks. 920 00:47:28,479 --> 00:47:29,981 Absolute stealth. 921 00:47:33,018 --> 00:47:34,986 [CACOPHONY OF ALARMS] 922 00:47:36,054 --> 00:47:38,924 [METAL CREAKS] 923 00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:41,726 [ALARMS CONTINUE] 924 00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:43,594 I think the terrorists 925 00:47:43,594 --> 00:47:45,663 are going to notice this assault. 926 00:47:45,663 --> 00:47:47,498 [ALARMS CONTINUE] 927 00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,468 [MUFFLED ALARMS] 928 00:47:53,338 --> 00:47:54,940 [GUNSHOT] 929 00:47:59,244 --> 00:48:01,146 [CACOPHONY OF ALARMS] 930 00:48:01,146 --> 00:48:03,714 [METAL CREAKS] 931 00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:08,553 I think the terrorists are going to notice this assault. 932 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:11,656 Which is why I shall now cause a diversion. 933 00:48:11,656 --> 00:48:14,359 [TYRES SCREECH] 934 00:48:14,359 --> 00:48:17,295 I'm gonna make a smoking doughnut in front of the plane 935 00:48:17,295 --> 00:48:19,530 to distract the terrorists. 936 00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,433 [TYRES SQUEAL] 937 00:48:22,433 --> 00:48:24,769 JEREMY: Oh, no, this is a disaster. 938 00:48:24,769 --> 00:48:28,073 Even when you turn the traction control off, 939 00:48:28,073 --> 00:48:29,640 it isn't fully off, 940 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:34,279 so you just get miles and miles of dreary understeer. 941 00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:36,481 Bad mark for Audi here. 942 00:48:40,285 --> 00:48:42,320 Come on! 943 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,855 The only good thing is the terrorists will be looking 944 00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:46,057 out of the cockpit windows 945 00:48:46,057 --> 00:48:48,259 thinking, "Why is that Audi 946 00:48:48,259 --> 00:48:50,996 understeering around like that?" 947 00:48:50,996 --> 00:48:53,431 Right! Go low! 948 00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:54,699 [GUNFIRE] 949 00:49:00,005 --> 00:49:01,439 Here I come! 950 00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:05,076 Cry havoc and let slip the dog of understeer! 951 00:49:05,076 --> 00:49:06,911 [GUNFIRE] 952 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:08,379 [DISTANT GUNFIRE] 953 00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:23,294 Chaps, I have located the VIP 954 00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:25,430 and it is the Queen of England. 955 00:49:25,430 --> 00:49:27,465 JAMES: I don't like the Royal Family. 956 00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:31,036 James, now is not the time for your republican views. 957 00:49:31,036 --> 00:49:34,272 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 958 00:49:34,272 --> 00:49:36,041 We have an Audi outside. We will... 959 00:49:36,041 --> 00:49:38,076 [GUNSHOT] 960 00:49:40,911 --> 00:49:42,613 Why did you shoot Hammond? 961 00:49:42,613 --> 00:49:44,315 He was being annoying. 962 00:49:47,518 --> 00:49:48,919 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 963 00:49:48,919 --> 00:49:51,889 That's how you do it! 964 00:49:51,889 --> 00:49:54,059 [CACOPHONY OF ALARMS] 965 00:49:54,059 --> 00:49:57,062 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 966 00:49:57,062 --> 00:49:59,164 We have an Audi outside. We will... 967 00:49:59,164 --> 00:50:00,698 [GUNSHOT] 968 00:50:04,435 --> 00:50:07,138 - Did you shoot May? - Well, he shot me! 969 00:50:11,142 --> 00:50:13,778 - [GUNFIRE] - That's how you do it! 970 00:50:13,778 --> 00:50:17,748 Somehow in our next attempt, Hammond ended up on the wing. 971 00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:25,190 Oh, I see. You wanna do this the old-fashioned way. 972 00:50:25,190 --> 00:50:27,458 OK, let's dance. 973 00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:30,561 - [BLADE SWISHES] - Aagh! 974 00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:39,970 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 975 00:50:39,970 --> 00:50:43,774 We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety. 976 00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:46,244 - And what do you do? - I just said. 977 00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:48,679 We are an elite fighting force. 978 00:50:48,679 --> 00:50:51,216 We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety. 979 00:50:51,216 --> 00:50:53,084 - You'll like it, it's German. - Like you are. 980 00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:56,321 Thank you, James. Are all the terrorists dead back there? 981 00:50:56,321 --> 00:50:58,723 - Everybody's dead back there. - Good man. 982 00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:01,192 Your Majesty, if you'd like to follow us. 983 00:51:09,134 --> 00:51:11,736 - [GUNSHOT] - What was that? 984 00:51:11,736 --> 00:51:14,139 He's just shot the Queen in the back of the head. 985 00:51:14,139 --> 00:51:16,674 Well, now what we gonna do? 986 00:51:18,243 --> 00:51:20,278 - Oh... - [GUNSHOT] 987 00:51:23,681 --> 00:51:27,352 Go. I'll have that, thank you very much. 988 00:51:28,886 --> 00:51:32,022 Having finally got the Queen into the car, 989 00:51:32,022 --> 00:51:34,659 we were now faced with a perilous drive to the embassy. 990 00:51:37,462 --> 00:51:41,232 However, this did at least mean I could get back to my day job. 991 00:51:41,232 --> 00:51:42,833 [GUNFIRE] 992 00:51:42,833 --> 00:51:46,704 I'll talk you through the car. This is the S8 Plus. 993 00:51:46,704 --> 00:51:48,706 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 994 00:51:48,706 --> 00:51:51,942 Plus means it has 80 more horsepower than the standard car. 995 00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:55,913 That means 0-60 in 3.8 seconds, 996 00:51:55,913 --> 00:51:58,449 top speed: 190. 997 00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,618 How very interesting. 998 00:52:04,189 --> 00:52:07,892 The immense power is harnessed not only by all-wheel drive, 999 00:52:07,892 --> 00:52:10,195 but also by ceramic brakes. 1000 00:52:10,195 --> 00:52:11,562 [EXPLOSIONS] 1001 00:52:11,562 --> 00:52:14,098 And an electronic differential. 1002 00:52:14,098 --> 00:52:17,802 There's a time and a place for talking about that stuff, mate! 1003 00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:19,770 Sitting behind a six-foot-five-inch driver 1004 00:52:19,770 --> 00:52:22,273 means that rear leg room is rather at a premium. 1005 00:52:22,273 --> 00:52:25,610 Having said that, however, for a high-performance saloon, 1006 00:52:25,610 --> 00:52:27,678 the ride quality is really rather good. 1007 00:52:27,678 --> 00:52:30,080 Will you two stop reviewing the car? 1008 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,750 [EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE] 1009 00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:35,019 Do you have an opinion, the Queen? 1010 00:52:35,019 --> 00:52:36,654 Not now! 1011 00:52:40,358 --> 00:52:42,293 Hold it steady, I'm gonna shoot them. 1012 00:52:43,961 --> 00:52:45,463 [GUNFIRE] 1013 00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:48,366 Shoot him in the face! 1014 00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:51,302 Have you come far? 1015 00:52:51,302 --> 00:52:53,003 [GUNFIRE] 1016 00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:55,105 - [TYRES SQUEAL] - [CRASH] 1017 00:52:55,105 --> 00:52:56,441 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 1018 00:52:56,441 --> 00:52:59,244 The Living Daylights. Transporter 2 and 3. 1019 00:52:59,244 --> 00:53:00,311 Taken. Ronin. 1020 00:53:00,311 --> 00:53:02,313 Why are you listing films? 1021 00:53:02,313 --> 00:53:06,517 Because all those films had a big Audi saloon in them going quickly. 1022 00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:10,388 It is the car of choice for the Hollywood hero. 1023 00:53:11,556 --> 00:53:12,823 Shut up. 1024 00:53:13,991 --> 00:53:16,627 - [TYRES SQUEAL] - [GUNFIRE] 1025 00:53:16,627 --> 00:53:19,129 What's the top speed of that thing, James? 1026 00:53:19,129 --> 00:53:20,665 About 90 miles an hour. 1027 00:53:20,665 --> 00:53:24,335 Well, here is a top tip for Hollywood heroes. 1028 00:53:24,335 --> 00:53:25,603 [EXPLOSIONS] 1029 00:53:25,603 --> 00:53:27,372 If you're being chased by a car 1030 00:53:27,372 --> 00:53:29,274 which is slower than the car you're in, 1031 00:53:29,274 --> 00:53:34,279 simply drive faster than it. 1032 00:53:34,279 --> 00:53:38,115 See, that's what Nick Cage ought to have thought about, really, in The Rock. 1033 00:53:38,115 --> 00:53:41,619 And that man in Ronin, with the S8 chasing the Citroen. 1034 00:53:41,619 --> 00:53:43,721 Stop talking about films! 1035 00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:45,723 There's a bogey waxing our tail. 1036 00:53:45,723 --> 00:53:47,892 - Oh, God! - Gonna shoot its petrol tank. 1037 00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:52,730 James, there's no point shooting it. Petrol only blows up in films. 1038 00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:56,801 [RAPID GUNFIRE] 1039 00:54:01,706 --> 00:54:03,941 Well, that's not strictly accurate. 1040 00:54:03,941 --> 00:54:06,777 - Where the bloody hell is the embassy? - Go down here. 1041 00:54:06,777 --> 00:54:08,313 [TYRES SCREECH] 1042 00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:10,315 - No, this is rubbish. - There it is. 1043 00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:11,949 There it is! 1044 00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:15,386 Right, you get the Queen to safety. I'll cover you. 1045 00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,822 - OK, I'm on it. - Right, good. Go, go, go! 1046 00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,089 Go, go, go! 1047 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:20,391 Your Majesty. 1048 00:54:20,391 --> 00:54:23,060 Really quickly, Your Majesty. 1049 00:54:23,060 --> 00:54:24,995 [GUNFIRE] 1050 00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:26,030 We can't see. 1051 00:54:41,011 --> 00:54:42,547 Come on, Jeremy, come on! 1052 00:54:42,547 --> 00:54:44,982 I'm doing my best! 1053 00:54:44,982 --> 00:54:46,417 [GUNSHOT] 1054 00:54:46,417 --> 00:54:48,919 [RICHARD LAUGHS] In the plums! 1055 00:54:48,919 --> 00:54:50,154 Oh, no! 1056 00:54:50,154 --> 00:54:51,622 Just keep moving! 1057 00:54:52,723 --> 00:54:54,459 [GUNSHOT] 1058 00:54:54,459 --> 00:54:56,361 They've done it again! 1059 00:54:56,361 --> 00:54:58,396 James, you're missing this! 1060 00:54:58,396 --> 00:55:00,431 You cannot modernise the royalty, 1061 00:55:00,431 --> 00:55:05,436 because royalty is, at the very best, a medieval concept. 1062 00:55:05,436 --> 00:55:07,004 [GUNSHOTS] 1063 00:55:07,004 --> 00:55:08,673 Oh! Shooting! 1064 00:55:08,673 --> 00:55:11,542 That's gonna sting! He's still coming! 1065 00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:13,177 Keep going! 1066 00:55:13,177 --> 00:55:14,745 Mind the mines! 1067 00:55:16,781 --> 00:55:18,583 [RICHARD LAUGHS] 1068 00:55:20,585 --> 00:55:22,186 He's still going! 1069 00:55:22,186 --> 00:55:24,822 ** [Barber's "Adagio for Strings"] 1070 00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:37,435 [GUNSHOT] 1071 00:55:44,609 --> 00:55:46,744 James, he's dead. 1072 00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:52,249 No, wait a minute. He's going again! He's moving again! 1073 00:55:52,249 --> 00:55:53,951 Jeremy, come on, you can do it! 1074 00:55:53,951 --> 00:55:56,186 Come on, keep going! Come on. 1075 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,722 - This is it. - Hammond... 1076 00:55:57,722 --> 00:55:59,323 There's the finish line! 1077 00:55:59,323 --> 00:56:00,758 Am I going the right way? 1078 00:56:00,758 --> 00:56:04,462 More or less. Roll over it. You can do it. 1079 00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:07,164 - [GROANS] - Yes! We have done it. 1080 00:56:07,164 --> 00:56:08,799 [GROANS] 1081 00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:13,571 Have you come far? 1082 00:56:16,507 --> 00:56:18,709 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 1083 00:56:21,245 --> 00:56:25,850 A fighting force. An unbelievable fighting force. 1084 00:56:27,084 --> 00:56:29,787 We actually managed to complete that course 1085 00:56:29,787 --> 00:56:32,256 in nine hours and 48 minutes. 1086 00:56:32,256 --> 00:56:37,595 And that's only nine-and-a-half hours slower than the actual soldiers. 1087 00:56:37,595 --> 00:56:39,664 Can I just ask, how many times were you shot? 1088 00:56:39,664 --> 00:56:41,866 - What, on the run in? - On the way to the embassy. 1089 00:56:41,866 --> 00:56:46,136 Er... 17 to the torso, two to the... plum set. 1090 00:56:46,136 --> 00:56:48,038 - [LAUGHTER] - And you lived? 1091 00:56:48,038 --> 00:56:50,475 Well, obviously, James, yes, look, I lived. 1092 00:56:50,475 --> 00:56:54,679 He did. And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end. 1093 00:56:54,679 --> 00:56:56,681 Yes, it is. Thank you so much for watching. 1094 00:56:56,681 --> 00:56:59,149 See you somewhere next week. Goodbye! 1095 00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:00,718 [CHEERING]