1 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,534 Greetings. Thank you. 2 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,607 Thank you so much. 3 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,944 Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. 4 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,879 Thank you, thank you. 5 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:23,584 Welcome to The Grand Tour. And in this week's programme: 6 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,155 I drive a saloon car. 7 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:33,527 James drives a catering lorry. 8 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,698 And Richard has a knife fight. 9 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,667 Let's dance. 10 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,704 That is all to come, but first of all, 11 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,774 let me talk you through where we are. It's South Africa. 12 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:50,077 Over there, in the distance, you can see Johannesburg. 13 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:54,782 But this place here is called The Cradle of Humankind. 14 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,818 Now it's called that because archaeologists have determined 15 00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:03,191 it was on this very spot that mankind separated from the ape. 16 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,459 Ahem. 17 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,063 Well, I mean... 18 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,202 See? We haven't even begun. 19 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,569 - Be reasonable. 20 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,005 You've learnt to put socks on, 21 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,540 but other than that, mate... 22 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,575 Listen, I'm trying to be profound here, OK? 23 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,511 - Carry on, carry on. - I'm trying to be profound. 24 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,246 Because this is ground zero. 25 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,748 This is where all of human history began. 26 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:31,319 Anyone who comes here, it's like coming home. 27 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,221 - Jeremy. 28 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:36,624 How long has it taken some of us to evolve from being apes? 29 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,926 - It's taken 30 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:42,230 two million and a hundred... 31 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:53,474 You at home may be wondering why everybody here is applauding, 32 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,979 but it's because while the rest of mankind 33 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:02,716 has managed to grasp the concept of arithmetic, 34 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,753 the President of South Africa, Jacob Zuma... 35 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,855 Well, how can I put this? He sort of hasn't. 36 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,924 I've got a clip here to show you what I'm on about. 37 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:15,596 We announce that our membership figures 38 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:21,134 stood at...769, 39 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,970 eight-hundred and... 40 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,174 700... 41 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,444 Listen properly. 42 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:35,783 769 thousand, 43 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,786 820... 44 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,295 I mean, honestly. 45 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,198 The funny thing is... 46 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,668 Jacob Zuma is a bit of a controversial figure here. 47 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,305 He recently installed a swimming pool at his home. 48 00:03:57,305 --> 00:04:00,974 And then, because he'd used taxpayers' money to do that, 49 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:05,746 he said it was actually a water storage facility in case of a fire. 50 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,649 So, in other words, if he burst into flames, 51 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,784 he can jump into it and put himself out 52 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:15,122 in ten hundred and... three hundred...seconds. 53 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,357 He has also bought himself 54 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,125 what he claims is a fire engine. 55 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,927 Nice. 56 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,431 He's also got himself an ambulance. 57 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,534 Yep. Can't be too careful. 58 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,836 Motoring in South Africa. 59 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,171 Big problem here, of course, is the wildlife, 60 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,874 because how do you accurately warn motorists 61 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,510 that there may be a deer-y thing ahead 62 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,912 and it could be full of helium? 63 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,715 Well, the authorities have had a go. 64 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,617 They've come up with this as a sign. 65 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:47,187 It's not bad, except they've got the word wrong. 66 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,092 What? 67 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,494 It's wrong, isn't it? 68 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,195 - It's not baboons. - No, it's not. 69 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,898 We're from England. We know that's not a baboon. 70 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,202 Baboons are actually very dangerous here. 71 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,173 Certainly, they've got a better idea 72 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:09,242 of how to handle a gun than the local police. 73 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:14,848 He's actually using that as a shooting stick. 74 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,817 Shall we get on with the show? 75 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,387 - Yes, good idea. Good plan. - Yes, let's. 76 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,854 And we start with Aston Martin. 77 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,223 The company must have had a meeting recently 78 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,725 and the bosses must have said, 79 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,059 "It's gonna be a few years now 80 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,761 "until the next Bond film is out, 81 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,797 "so what are we gonna do at Aston Martin 82 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,032 to generate some headlines in the meantime?" 83 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,934 And what they must have decided is, 84 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,203 to make a car that is as good as a car can be. 85 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,472 They weren't talking about making a racing car 86 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:39,707 because in racing there are rules 87 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,509 about how big the engine can be 88 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,110 and what sort of tyres you can use. 89 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,978 And they weren't talking about making a road car, 90 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,881 that would have to meet emissions regulations, 91 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,451 have comfy rubber bits in the suspension. 92 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,085 And all that stuff would slow it down. 93 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,754 Exactly. They wanted to make a car 94 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,424 that adhered to no rules and no regulations. 95 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:58,492 So they have. 96 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,438 This is what they came up with. 97 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:20,448 It costs £1.8 million. 98 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,084 And it's called the Vulcan. 99 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,789 Spectacular, isn't it? 100 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,729 But not very practical. 101 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,084 Oh, God. Ow! 102 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,052 Agh! 103 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,392 Hold on... Nope. 104 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,295 How are you...? 105 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,497 No. 106 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,131 Agh! 107 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,867 Now I'm totally stuck. 108 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,270 Oh, yeah. 109 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,709 You will be able to edit this out, won't you? 110 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,677 I don't want people thinking I'm fat. 111 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,115 Right. I'm gonna pop it into gear now. 112 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,518 You may hear this a little bit. 113 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,591 Good. First. 114 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,893 Er...foot on clutch. 115 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:44,698 And now it's time to fire up the seven-litre V12. 116 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,918 It's quite normal. 117 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:20,167 When I got going, things didn't get much better. 118 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:28,341 Even at slow speeds, it is quite loud in here, 119 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,645 which is why I'm wearing this silly face microphone 120 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,715 so you can hear what I'm on about. 121 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:39,119 The noisiest part of this car, however, is not the engine. 122 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,095 That's the brakes. 123 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:52,099 They are quite... They are quite squeaky. 124 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,607 It actually sounds like I'm stamping on a piglet. 125 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,613 And things get worse when you put your foot down. 126 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,021 I'm not going to say that it's like 127 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:17,224 being attacked by a bear because it isn't. 128 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,661 But it is like being in a room with a bear 129 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,631 that's thinking of attacking you. 130 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:28,802 At the moment I've turned the engine down on this knob here 131 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,638 to its minimum setting. 132 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:33,907 It's only producing 500 horsepower. 133 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,979 So it's not really the speed that's scary. 134 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,714 Oh, God! 135 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,216 It's the noise and the harshness 136 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,252 and the vibrations. 137 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,492 It's not a very well-equipped car either. 138 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,528 The windows don't wind down, for instance. 139 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,698 There are no toys at all. 140 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:01,001 And you only get half a steering wheel. 141 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,107 However, there is one amazing thing 142 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,010 you get for your £1.8 million. 143 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:14,181 An all-expenses-paid trip to a racetrack of your choice, 144 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,016 where an Aston Martin test driver 145 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,318 will teach you how to drive your car, 146 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,755 not with the engine wound down to 500 horsepower, 147 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,624 but with it turned up... 148 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,326 ...to the max. 149 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,774 Holy cow! Ha-ha-ha! 150 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:50,050 The engine is now producing 820 horsepower. 151 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:54,654 And the speed just beggars belief. 152 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,191 The bear is in attack mode. 153 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:06,199 The figures say it'll do 0-60 in 2.9 seconds. 154 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:11,271 And has a top speed of 208 with that wing on the back. 155 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,775 But it feels a hell of a lot faster than that. 156 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,010 Oh, God! 157 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,987 The other thing you get for your money 158 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,789 is a squadron of mechanics. 159 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:35,462 But sadly... not a handbrake. 160 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,299 Right, what I've done now is I've taken... yes... 161 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,634 I've taken the steering wheel off, 162 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,772 so I can't put it in gear to stop it rolling away. 163 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:48,375 Oh, God. 164 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,510 Agh. 165 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,445 Argh, argh... 166 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,218 When I'd finally got it to stop, 167 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:03,056 the jacks were deployed and the mechanics set to work. 168 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,592 That's the thing about the Vulcan. 169 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,361 Wing angle, roll bar, suspension, brakes. 170 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:13,801 Everything can be adjusted to suit your personal taste. 171 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:17,070 After ten minutes of pretending I knew what they were doing, 172 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,339 I was back on the track. 173 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:27,948 And the car felt... just as bonkers as it had done before. 174 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:33,220 However, I've changed. 175 00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:37,357 I've been driving this thing now, 176 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,259 I don't know, three or four hours, 177 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,295 and I'm starting to... understand it. 178 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,097 I'm starting to get used to it. 179 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,835 I'm starting to trust it. 180 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:52,039 Now I'm starting to understand... 181 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,907 why the Vulcan can go round 182 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,244 the Nardo handling circuit in southern Italy 183 00:12:57,244 --> 00:13:02,850 nine seconds faster than the McLaren P1. 184 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:07,420 Nine seconds in car time, that's a year! 185 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,895 You get phenomenal mechanical grip 186 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,864 in the low-speed corners, 187 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,631 and then, on the Isn't Straight, 188 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,201 you've got a ton-and-a-half of downforce, 189 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,336 thanks to its aerodynamics. 190 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:31,078 Then you have the power from the engine, 191 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:34,882 which feels, well, old-fashioned. 192 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,416 Proper. 193 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,652 I'm surprised it doesn't have carburettors. 194 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,390 I love this thing very much. 195 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,662 And what I love most of all 196 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,798 is that it's not a test bed. 197 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:55,903 It's not an example of what cars will be like in the future. 198 00:13:55,903 --> 00:14:00,140 It's a celebration of what they were like in the past. 199 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,911 What it is... 200 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:06,079 is old time rock'n'roll. 201 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,220 - Thank you, thank you. 202 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,422 Thank you very much. 203 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,393 - So... 204 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,662 I get the impression you quite liked the car. 205 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,431 Oh, it's unbelievable. 206 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,499 What I loved most of all is they've made it out of bits 207 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,601 that they already had lying around in the factory. 208 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,103 It's like you going home 209 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,939 after your tripto South Africa, opening the fridge, 210 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,273 and using what's there 211 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,208 to make a delicious shepherd's pie. 212 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,945 What, some stale milk and an old piece of cheese? 213 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,982 - Yes. 214 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,616 How much is that, Jeremy, in rand? 215 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,953 Ten hundred and 30 million and a million. 216 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,824 But for that it does 0 217 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:55,963 So it's nearly as fast as an Aventador or a Caterham R600, 218 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,497 or an Ariel Atom V8, 219 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,967 but much more expensive! 220 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,135 And not road legal. 221 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,837 Yes. Thank you very much for relieving yourself all over my enthusiasm. 222 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,273 - You're welcome. 223 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,108 It is a brilliant, brilliant car. 224 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,977 And only one question now remains. 225 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,712 How fast will it go round our track 226 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,614 in the hands of a man 227 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:19,052 who thinks that everything British is basically communist? 228 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,820 Here he is. 229 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:24,124 Looking a bit confused. 230 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:28,261 All right, folks, let's see what this bag of bolts will do. 231 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:33,133 JEREMY: And he's off, and immediately on to the Isn't Straight. 232 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,768 First corner coming up. 233 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,072 And he's flat through there. That is ballsy. 234 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,708 Changing down, though, for the second corner 235 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,110 on the Isn't Straight, 236 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,677 but now he can use full power. 237 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,579 800 brake horsepower? 238 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,016 Are you kiddin' me? 239 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:53,586 JEREMY: Now, hard on the brakes for Your Name Here. 240 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,888 He has got to be impressed with this. 241 00:15:55,888 --> 00:16:01,194 For about $50,000, I could get one of my old trucks NASCAR style. 242 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,430 It's got 800 brake horsepower. 243 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,599 Go deer hunting, 244 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,801 you got room for a couple deer in the back. 245 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,438 I don't think you can put no deer in this thing. 246 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,106 JEREMY: Plenty of deer to run over, though, 247 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,575 back on the Isn't Straight. 248 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,211 James Bond drives one of these. 249 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:21,448 Shit. Vin Diesel would whip his ass. 250 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,484 JEREMY: Yes, I'm sure he would, but down into first. 251 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,654 - I don't know about this thing. 252 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,057 It's like a red-headed stepchild I'm talkin'. 253 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,926 Be damn ugly. 254 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,963 JEREMY: Not sure he's fully concentrating past Old Lady's House. 255 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:40,267 But he is flat out towards Substation. It is bumpy here. 256 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,903 And there's new Tarmac on the apex. Will it kick the tail out? 257 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,273 Yes, it does indeed. He's OK. 258 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,475 Into Field of Sheep. No sheep today. 259 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,976 And he's across the line. 260 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,182 Hell of a track, though. 261 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,550 - It is a hell of a track. - Big car. 262 00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,720 Anyway, we must now bring up the lap board 263 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,691 and find out how fast the American got round in the Vulcan. 264 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,194 Let's have a look. Ooh, it's quick. 265 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,996 RICHARD: Oh, hello. Hello. 266 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,438 There you go, see? Old time rock'n'roll. 267 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:22,575 Old time rock'n'roll has beaten rap and techno. 268 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,677 - And R and B. 269 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,479 - And is now at the top. - Very good. 270 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,116 Well done, and thank you. Now we must move on. 271 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:34,321 It's time for us to take a gentle stroll down Conversation Street. 272 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,594 Right, sticking with Aston Martin, 273 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,165 they've teamed up with Red Bull Racing to create this. 274 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,934 It's called the 001. 275 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:53,140 It has a V12, no turbos, none of that sort of hybrid witchcraft. 276 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,176 Yet it produces 900 horsepower 277 00:17:56,176 --> 00:18:00,213 in a car that only weighs 900 kilos. 278 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,815 - Staggering. 279 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,984 Well, more than staggering, that is a magic figure, 280 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,754 cos that means it has one horsepower per kilogram. 281 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,956 And no other car gets close to that. 282 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:13,893 Not remotely. The Vulcan's barely half that. It's staggering. 283 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,364 The only problem I have with this... and you just have to look at it. 284 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,666 Another angle we've got here. Look at that. 285 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:23,069 You know that car is gonna be all about aerodynamics 286 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,338 and particularly downforce. 287 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,639 And I hate downforce. 288 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,808 What do you mean, you hate downforce? 289 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:33,180 Because they tell you you can go round a 90-degree bend at 100mph 290 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,782 because of the weight of the air pressing down on the body. 291 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,050 It's like having an invisible elephant. 292 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,987 - What if the elephant falls off? 293 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,324 It's not a real elephant! It can't fall off! 294 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,459 But how can you trust something you don't see? 295 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:50,463 Wait. No, I'm with him because what if you drove through a sudden vacuum? 296 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,200 Well, that's not gonna happen either, is it? 297 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,202 Hammond, listen. There has to be a speed 298 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,003 in a car with active downforce, like that one, 299 00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:00,573 where you go round a corner too fast for the tyres, 300 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,242 too fast for the mechanical grip, 301 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,345 but not fast enough for the downforce to be working. 302 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,913 So you'd have to say to the police, 303 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,982 "I crashed because I wasn't going fast enough." 304 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,384 - It's true. - Potentially. 305 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,952 There's another point, actually, 306 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,787 the handling is gonna depend on the weather. 307 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,690 If it's a really hot day, the air will be thinner. 308 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,727 - No, thicker. - No, it's thinner on a hot day. 309 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,729 See, I'd be messed up already cos I'd have the wrong... 310 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,564 That's the point. You got a really hot day, 311 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,366 and you don't really want to be driving a car 312 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,900 where whether or not you get round a corner 313 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,002 depends on whether or not the sun's out. 314 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,673 So you now want weather forecasts to include cornering speeds? 315 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,742 It's not just weather. Altitude. 316 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,445 You could drive that car round a corner at 100mph 317 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,480 in Holland, sea level, 318 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,282 but, what are we here, 6,000 feet up? 319 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,783 6,000 feet up here. 320 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,085 You'd barely be able to get round at three mph. 321 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,588 You'd crash it into a tree, or a visible elephant. 322 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:51,258 - They are real. 323 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:54,126 Exactly. I just... Honestly, downforce... 324 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,763 I don't like having to trust something you can't see. 325 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,966 - It's like North Korea. 326 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,935 - Or the contraceptive pill. 327 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,173 - That was an overshare. 328 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:10,743 There's actually another hyper car I want to draw your attention to. 329 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,179 - Replacement for the Veyron. - AUDIENCE: Oooh! 330 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,014 That is the Bugatti Chiron. 331 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,885 It's got a quad turbo 8-litre W16 engine, 332 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,789 which every minute inhales 13,000 gallons of air. 333 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,057 - Just imagine. - It's unbelievable. 334 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,993 1,500 horsepower. 335 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:31,431 And the top speed is limited to 261 mph. 336 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:35,335 They say it would do 288 but that would be irresponsible on the road. 337 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,307 It's got diamonds in the speakers for better sound quality. 338 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,342 Of course it has, yeah. 339 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:47,947 Oh, you'll like this. At top speed, the force on each tyre is 3,800G. 340 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,449 A man dies at 9G. 341 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,651 If you drive the Chiron flat out 342 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,086 it'll drain its tank in nine minutes. 343 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,192 Hang on a minute. 261mph at nine minutes. 344 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:03,596 That means you'd have to fill up with fuel every 39 miles. 345 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:07,334 Well, less - you can't drive until you run out, you'd have to look for a petrol station. 346 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,136 Yes, James, it really isn't a practical car, is it? 347 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,673 Gonna give you the most amazing stat, though. 348 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,775 It's about the people who are buying this car. 349 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,744 They've got 200 orders so far. 350 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,912 And the average person who's ordered one 351 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:26,686 already has 64 cars, three helicopters, three jets and one yacht. 352 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,187 Zuma. 353 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:37,029 I reckon he's got one already. 354 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,499 Didn't say that. He didn't say that. 355 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:42,134 Shall we move it on? 356 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:46,839 In South Africa, there are 35 carjackings every day. 357 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,908 - Every day. 358 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,811 I've got to say, well done, that's an amazing figure. 359 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:55,382 I can't believe it. How have you got time to come here? 360 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,083 Cos you've got stuff to do. 361 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,519 They've all come here in someone else's car. 362 00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:04,391 But what they don't realise is they're all walking home. 363 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:05,992 I've done a bit of research. 364 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,762 The most commonly jacked cars, carjacked cars, 365 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:14,133 are the VW Polo, the Toyota Hiace and the Toyota Hilux. 366 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,935 But they're the best-selling cars in South Africa. 367 00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:19,105 Exactly. The VW Polo is the best-selling car in South Africa. 368 00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:20,707 So why would you buy a car 369 00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:23,943 which increases your chance of being shot in the head and your car being stolen? 370 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:27,880 Why not buy a car that nobody would want to steal? 371 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:32,419 No, cos if I lived here, I'd get something like a beige Volvo Estate. 372 00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:35,154 - That's just a car you want! 373 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,790 You're using it as an excuse to get your dream car. 374 00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:41,494 Look, Hammond, I've explained it to you before. 375 00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:44,831 Having a Volvo Estate is a bit like needing to go to the dentist. 376 00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:47,734 It's gonna happen. Get it over with. Just do it. 377 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,769 I don't want to get it over with. 378 00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,438 That's like going to the dentist and saying, 379 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:53,740 "Take all my teeth out cos they're gonna fall out." 380 00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:56,476 At the barber's: "Just pull it all out, it'll fall out anyway." 381 00:22:56,476 --> 00:23:01,180 The doctor: "Stop me being able to retain my urine. It's gonna happen, too." 382 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:04,451 I'm gonna bury myself and get it all over with once and for all. 383 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:06,285 He has got a point, seriously. 384 00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:08,755 Let's enjoy it before we have to have the Volvo. 385 00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:12,725 But why do you all buy cars that you're going to get carjacked in? 386 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,861 Has anyone got a Volkswagen Polo here? 387 00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:18,798 You have? Did you buy that for yourself? 388 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:20,867 - My dad bought it for me. 389 00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:23,903 - Wow! Oh, nice gift! 390 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:26,205 What sort of madness is this? 391 00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:29,476 Has anyone got a Toyota Hilux? 392 00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:31,478 Yeah. This is insanity. 393 00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:36,549 What did you start out with this morning? 394 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,184 - It's unbelievable. 395 00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:40,086 Anyway, listen, we gotta move it on. 396 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:42,288 Because, here in South Africa, 397 00:23:42,288 --> 00:23:44,791 people have an interesting approach to preventing car theft. 398 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:46,759 Got a picture here of one man's solution. 399 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,595 RICHARD: That's a python. 400 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,763 Now there's no question it's gonna work. 401 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,000 I would not steal a car that had that on the dashboard. 402 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,335 However, a python's not like a burglar alarm. 403 00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:58,304 You can't turn it off. 404 00:23:58,304 --> 00:24:00,707 When you come back to your car, how do you say to the snake, 405 00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:02,408 "It's my car, don't strangle me." 406 00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:04,043 - You can't. 407 00:24:04,043 --> 00:24:06,078 I'm pretty sure you can't train a python, can you? 408 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,347 You can't. That's why you never see sheep snakes 409 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:10,517 or guide snakes for the blind. 410 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:12,051 - It'll never happen. 411 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:14,153 I have to say, 412 00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:16,523 in England, we've got an even more stupid solution. 413 00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:19,291 This chap's come up with an idea called "Bike Mine". 414 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:22,962 I've got a video of him here explaining how it works. 415 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,633 It can be attached quickly to protect almost any personal possession 416 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,701 you store outside or in a garage or shed. 417 00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:32,371 Its robust steel construction is covered in a rubber skin 418 00:24:32,371 --> 00:24:34,240 to protect your property. 419 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,876 Bike Mine is safe because the detonators are self-contained... 420 00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:39,712 as well as legal to own and use. 421 00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:42,882 Bike Mine is reliable because there are no batteries to run down 422 00:24:42,882 --> 00:24:45,552 and only one moving part. 423 00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:54,561 It's not gonna work. 424 00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:56,328 What I can't understand is, 425 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,865 he said it can also protect any other personal property you may have. 426 00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:04,604 "Are you worried about your child being kidnapped? 427 00:25:04,604 --> 00:25:06,606 Simply hang this bomb round their neck." 428 00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:10,877 So, moving on, to Jordan, weirdly, 429 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:13,780 where the government has just built a mock town, 430 00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:16,082 so that special forces from all over the world 431 00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:18,484 can turn up and have a competition 432 00:25:18,484 --> 00:25:20,653 to see which one is best. 433 00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:22,955 Yes, and this year, Mr Wilman, 434 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:26,225 who is the Fat Man who controls our lives, 435 00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:28,127 decided that us three should go and take part. 436 00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:30,129 Obviously there'd be a lot of shooting, 437 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:32,064 running about and doing somersaults. 438 00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,133 None of which we'd be any good at. 439 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:37,770 No, but, the SAS, the world's first special forces unit, 440 00:25:37,770 --> 00:25:40,139 was created to be fast, 441 00:25:40,139 --> 00:25:42,041 to get into the battle quickly and then get out again. 442 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:45,645 So there would also be a lot of high-speed driving. 443 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,279 - Erm... - Yes, I know. 444 00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:49,682 That is a bit of a problem. We'll gloss over that. 445 00:25:49,682 --> 00:25:53,285 Anyway, we were sent out there and this is what happened. 446 00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:11,638 JEREMY: This is it. 447 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:14,741 The special forces training base deep inside Amman. 448 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,877 The city, obviously, not... not... 449 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:22,114 Anyway, arriving now to demonstrate what we'd have to do later, 450 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:25,451 a squad of special forces soldiers. 451 00:26:25,451 --> 00:26:28,788 They exfoliated from a Black Hawk helicopter on ropes 452 00:26:28,788 --> 00:26:33,425 and then fought their way through a terrorist-infested building. 453 00:26:38,998 --> 00:26:41,400 Their next task was to steal a car, 454 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,271 which they used to reach a hijacked airliner. 455 00:26:47,573 --> 00:26:51,143 Here they stormed the cabin, killed the bad guys... 456 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,347 and rescued a VIP. 457 00:26:57,850 --> 00:27:02,154 There was then a high-speed car chase and a running gun battle, 458 00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,323 as they escorted the rescued hostage 459 00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:06,859 to the safety of a nearby embassy. 460 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:14,834 JAMES: That was quite impressive. 461 00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:16,368 Well, it's not like they were 462 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:17,837 - using real bullets. - Yes, they were. 463 00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:19,706 - They were not. - They were! 464 00:27:19,706 --> 00:27:21,607 Are you saying that on this, 465 00:27:21,607 --> 00:27:24,476 let's be honest, training ground, 466 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,814 people are allowed to run around with real bullets in these guns? 467 00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:29,248 - Yes. - Rubbish. 468 00:27:32,251 --> 00:27:35,988 And there you are. Real bullets. 469 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:38,090 And I managed to shoot myself. 470 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,392 - Oh, yeah. 471 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:41,961 Well, because, on an assault rifle, 472 00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,930 the bullets come out this side 473 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:47,066 and I'm a left-handed shot, so they just go up my arm, the casings. 474 00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:49,235 You're gonna be rubbish at this. 475 00:27:49,235 --> 00:27:52,004 Well, I'm not going to be able to use an assault rifle. 476 00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,306 I'm not gonna be able to storm that airliner. 477 00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:56,943 I'm not gonna be able to get out of the helicopter. 478 00:27:58,577 --> 00:28:01,147 JEREMY: Fearing that things may not go well, 479 00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:03,515 we were told to go and get ready. 480 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:07,119 And even that was fraught with difficulty. 481 00:28:10,056 --> 00:28:12,291 Why are you wearing white? 482 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:14,193 Snow camouflage. 483 00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:17,764 It has never, ever snowed in Jordan. 484 00:28:17,764 --> 00:28:19,298 I didn't know where Jordan was. 485 00:28:19,298 --> 00:28:21,333 You're gonna be quite visible. 486 00:28:22,802 --> 00:28:24,570 At this point, we received details 487 00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:27,774 of our mission from our boss, Mr Wilman. 488 00:28:27,774 --> 00:28:30,309 "Each time one of you is killed, 489 00:28:30,309 --> 00:28:32,779 you all have to begin again." 490 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:36,582 So it's like that Tom Cruise movie. 491 00:28:36,582 --> 00:28:38,017 What, Cocktail? 492 00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:41,187 No, not Cocktail. Or Rain Man. 493 00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:43,389 This is gonna take forever. 494 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:54,801 JEREMY: Nevertheless, we were soon in the helicopter 495 00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:58,270 on our way to the start of this important rescue mission. 496 00:28:59,806 --> 00:29:01,808 Let's just get this straight. 497 00:29:01,808 --> 00:29:03,876 When we get over the building, 498 00:29:03,876 --> 00:29:05,812 we leap out of the door 499 00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:08,014 and grab the rope and slide down it? 500 00:29:08,014 --> 00:29:10,716 Pretty much, yeah, that's it. That's how it goes. 501 00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:12,418 You could be leader. 502 00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:15,721 Get out there, show us how it's done, we will follow. 503 00:29:15,721 --> 00:29:17,356 I don't want to. 504 00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:20,192 I've never climbed a rope or gone down one in my life. 505 00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:21,828 Well, what a time. Get on with it. 506 00:29:21,828 --> 00:29:24,096 Why don't you go first? 507 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:25,865 I can't do that. I'm scared of heights. 508 00:29:25,865 --> 00:29:27,934 Lead by example. 509 00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:31,037 - Be an inspiration to your men. - Yeah, exactly. 510 00:29:31,904 --> 00:29:33,840 How high will it be? 511 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,742 - Yeah. You'll be fine. 512 00:29:36,742 --> 00:29:39,745 What happens if you fell 30 feet? 513 00:29:39,745 --> 00:29:41,247 Would you be going home with a head wand? 514 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:43,015 You'd be going home in this helicopter 515 00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:44,316 but not in that seat. 516 00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:46,152 You'd be in a bucket in the corner. 517 00:29:54,861 --> 00:29:58,064 OK, here it comes. Let's do this! 518 00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:07,439 Whoa! Jesus Christ! Stop! 519 00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:08,875 Oh, shit. 520 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,342 I'm very scared. 521 00:30:10,342 --> 00:30:11,911 Mate, that's not the attitude. 522 00:30:11,911 --> 00:30:13,679 - Go on, then! - Don't like it! 523 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:15,481 - Go down the rope! - Don't want to do it. 524 00:30:15,481 --> 00:30:17,383 - Loosen your hands a bit. - I don't want to. 525 00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,418 Do you want me to tickle you on your belly? 526 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,353 - No. - Well, go on, then! 527 00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:29,095 - Hammond! 528 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:30,596 My trousers have fallen down. 529 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:36,035 RICHARD: Ladies and gentlemen, Chuck Norris. 530 00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:40,139 Oh, no, no. 531 00:30:40,139 --> 00:30:43,442 Oh, yes. Have you ever 532 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:46,412 in your whole life seen anything... 533 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,613 Aaagh! 534 00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,988 I know I made that rope thing look a bit difficult, 535 00:30:55,988 --> 00:30:59,058 but actually it's surprisingly easy. 536 00:30:59,058 --> 00:31:01,393 So, why don't you go first? 537 00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:04,163 - I've got a better idea. 538 00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:06,198 Why don't we just land the helicopter? 539 00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:09,068 That is a good idea. Helicopters can land. 540 00:31:23,950 --> 00:31:26,118 Stop, stop, stop. Hammond. 541 00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:29,321 Right, listen, you open the door, 542 00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,723 and I'll throw this stun grenade in. 543 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:32,959 Good idea. In three... 544 00:31:32,959 --> 00:31:34,226 No, wait, wait! 545 00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:36,028 I don't know how it works. 546 00:31:36,028 --> 00:31:37,629 Oh, for God's sake. 547 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,302 Right. You ready, Hammond? 548 00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:45,371 - BOTH: Go! 549 00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:48,440 Come on! 550 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,677 [RAPID GUNFIRE, JEREMY GROANS] 551 00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:53,712 RICHARD: I thought you said it was a stun grenade? 552 00:31:53,712 --> 00:31:56,348 JEREMY: I meant smoke. 553 00:31:56,348 --> 00:31:58,050 JAMES: I can't see a thing! 554 00:31:58,050 --> 00:32:00,219 - Literally nothing. 555 00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:02,688 JEREMY: When the smoke finally cleared, 556 00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:04,190 we started our sweep. 557 00:32:05,891 --> 00:32:07,693 Ssh. Quiet. 558 00:32:17,103 --> 00:32:19,171 Dog. Dog. 559 00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:23,009 No! It means door. There's a door! 560 00:32:23,009 --> 00:32:25,344 There's a door. 561 00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,146 It's not a bloody football, is it? 562 00:32:27,146 --> 00:32:29,681 - Kick it. - You put your foot flat. 563 00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,019 That's how you do it. 564 00:32:34,053 --> 00:32:36,022 - Nobody there. - It's empty. 565 00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:44,763 Nobody there. 566 00:32:44,763 --> 00:32:47,599 JEREMY: Soon, though, they were there. 567 00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:59,111 We are trapped in this room. 568 00:32:59,111 --> 00:33:01,413 Well, why don't we just go out of the window? 569 00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:03,182 We could go out of the window. 570 00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:05,651 Yeah, we could do that. Cover us. 571 00:33:05,651 --> 00:33:08,654 Yeah, I'll cover you. 572 00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:11,557 RICHARD: As Jeremy laid down covering fire... 573 00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:15,127 ...May and I climbed out of the window. 574 00:33:15,127 --> 00:33:17,663 But then, there was a problem. 575 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,302 I'm stuck. 576 00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:25,471 - Well, push! - Ooh! 577 00:33:27,773 --> 00:33:29,141 What? 578 00:33:29,141 --> 00:33:31,410 The terrorists are in the room. 579 00:33:31,410 --> 00:33:33,079 How do you know? 580 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:34,813 They're doing things to me. 581 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,715 Ooh. 582 00:33:37,816 --> 00:33:39,718 Oooh. 583 00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:42,321 This is very uncomfortable. 584 00:33:42,321 --> 00:33:44,090 It's probably cos you're so tense. 585 00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:45,891 Ohh. James! 586 00:33:45,891 --> 00:33:47,793 - Kill me. 587 00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:49,728 Shoot me. 588 00:33:49,728 --> 00:33:50,896 Gladly. 589 00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:52,531 Please hurry up. 590 00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,566 - Er... 591 00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:56,102 Get on with it! 592 00:33:56,102 --> 00:33:57,769 - Just give him the lot. - In ten... 593 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,205 Not ten! 594 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:00,972 All right, in... 595 00:34:00,972 --> 00:34:04,543 three, two, one. 596 00:34:06,912 --> 00:34:08,414 How did you miss? 597 00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:10,449 It's true what they say about machine guns. 598 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:11,883 You can't hit a thing with them. 599 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,120 - Just kill me. 600 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,122 We're trying! It's not that easy. 601 00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:17,723 Hang on. I'm out. 602 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:19,558 - Use the shovel. Hit me with that. - Right. 603 00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:21,127 Do you want to say anything? 604 00:34:21,127 --> 00:34:23,595 Yes. Final words. I hate you. 605 00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:25,464 You know, I've dreamt about exactly this. 606 00:34:25,464 --> 00:34:27,133 - Hurry up! - Incoming! 607 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,274 We are trapped in this room. 608 00:34:35,274 --> 00:34:37,176 Why don't we go out of the window? 609 00:34:37,176 --> 00:34:39,578 Do you mind if I go through the door? 610 00:34:42,248 --> 00:34:43,849 This is better. 611 00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:51,357 JEREMY: Heroically we fought off all the attackers outside the building. 612 00:34:53,058 --> 00:34:57,229 But then we were pinned down by a sniper. 613 00:35:00,366 --> 00:35:03,702 - James. James. 614 00:35:03,702 --> 00:35:05,904 Go down there and steal that Renault. 615 00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:07,773 Why? 616 00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:10,075 Because this is a car show. We need a motoring element. 617 00:35:10,075 --> 00:35:12,811 - Good point. - Go! 618 00:35:12,811 --> 00:35:16,415 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth 619 00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:19,918 less able to do this kind of thing than him? 620 00:35:20,786 --> 00:35:22,688 I mean, he can play the harpsichord 621 00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,257 but that's not a skill we're gonna need today. 622 00:35:26,992 --> 00:35:28,727 And he's been shot. 623 00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:32,398 - James. 624 00:35:32,398 --> 00:35:35,201 - Go and steal that Renault over there. 625 00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:37,836 Because this is a car show. We need a motoring element. 626 00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:40,306 Good point. 627 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:43,975 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth 628 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,612 who's less able to do this sort of thing than him? 629 00:35:48,314 --> 00:35:51,283 Can you think of anybody on God's green Earth... 630 00:35:52,751 --> 00:35:56,121 - Can you think of anybody... 631 00:35:56,121 --> 00:35:58,056 - Can you think... 632 00:35:58,056 --> 00:35:59,791 James, you can't just keep doing 633 00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,927 the same thing over and over again. 634 00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:03,229 Nah, he'll miss eventually. 635 00:36:03,229 --> 00:36:06,298 - Oh, God. 636 00:36:06,298 --> 00:36:09,235 - Oh, for God's sake. - There it is. 637 00:36:09,235 --> 00:36:12,838 Because Corporal Stubborn wouldn't budge from his tactic, 638 00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:15,674 Richard and I decided that on our next attempt 639 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:18,877 we'd go into battle with some new equipment. 640 00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:22,614 Go and steal that Renault. 641 00:36:25,351 --> 00:36:27,486 [SCRATCHY RECORDING OF CLASSICAL MUSIC] 642 00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:45,837 Go and steal that Renault over there. 643 00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:49,508 [MUSIC PLAYS AT HIGHER SPEED] 644 00:36:58,484 --> 00:37:00,586 - Ohhh! 645 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,592 James, go and steal that Renault over there. 646 00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:08,860 - No. 647 00:37:08,860 --> 00:37:11,930 Well, there's a garage over there. It'll have some vehicles in it. 648 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,299 Oh, yeah. 649 00:37:16,368 --> 00:37:18,304 Now we're in a car show. 650 00:37:18,304 --> 00:37:22,674 Right, Jeremy, you go sort that sniper, we'll get these started. 651 00:37:22,674 --> 00:37:24,343 Good plan. 652 00:37:24,343 --> 00:37:27,413 Right, there's no keys. I'll hotwire it. 653 00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,881 Oh, there he is. 654 00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:34,420 Say hello to my little friend. 655 00:37:39,157 --> 00:37:42,193 Yes! What a shot! 656 00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:43,662 - Ohhh! 657 00:37:43,662 --> 00:37:45,230 I'll never be able to do that again. 658 00:37:45,230 --> 00:37:46,832 - Jeremy! 659 00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:49,335 James has electrocuted himself. 660 00:37:49,335 --> 00:37:50,736 Oh, what a... 661 00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:56,107 Say hello to my little friend. 662 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,378 Right, there are no keys. I'll hotwire it. 663 00:37:59,378 --> 00:38:01,880 Have you not seen every single movie ever made? 664 00:38:13,892 --> 00:38:17,596 There's nowhere to put a gun. That is a bad mark for Audi. 665 00:38:20,366 --> 00:38:24,536 Sport, drive, traction control off. 666 00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:25,837 Here we go! 667 00:38:44,255 --> 00:38:46,392 Unbelievable. 668 00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:50,496 - Jeremy. 669 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,098 Why did your trousers fall down? 670 00:38:53,098 --> 00:38:55,767 Because there were so many grenades attached to them. 671 00:38:55,767 --> 00:38:57,669 And in the down-draught of the helicopter... 672 00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:00,906 I was very brave doing that. I was. 673 00:39:00,906 --> 00:39:03,775 - I'm sure I saw him crying. - They were tears of bravery. 674 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:06,144 Oh, that well-known expression. Tears of bravery. 675 00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:09,014 Anyway, look, there's a bit of a trend in South Africa 676 00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:12,784 for making your own car, making a car from scratch. 677 00:39:12,784 --> 00:39:14,720 We've got an example here. 678 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:17,322 This man's built this one based around the engine 679 00:39:17,322 --> 00:39:19,324 and a few bits from a BMW 318i. 680 00:39:19,324 --> 00:39:22,060 And I've got to say, I think that's pretty cool. 681 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:24,029 - It's brilliant. - There are lots of these. 682 00:39:24,029 --> 00:39:27,599 I prefer this one, also with a BMW engine, a V8, 683 00:39:27,599 --> 00:39:29,435 but the bodywork is made of denim. 684 00:39:29,435 --> 00:39:32,003 - A man of exquisite taste. 685 00:39:33,505 --> 00:39:34,940 I think the best of them all is so good, 686 00:39:34,940 --> 00:39:36,942 we've actually brought it into the studio. 687 00:39:36,942 --> 00:39:39,445 Look, it's down here. Unbelievable, this. 688 00:39:39,445 --> 00:39:42,448 It's a replica of a Mercedes C9. 689 00:39:42,448 --> 00:39:45,350 Now that, Hammond, was the car that won 690 00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:48,454 the 24-hour Le Mans race in 1989. 691 00:39:48,454 --> 00:39:51,490 And it's so amazing, I've brought out the man who built it. 692 00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:54,626 Ladies and gentlemen, give him a warm hand. Johan Ackermann! 693 00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:56,462 Thank you very much for coming. 694 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:02,267 Can I just as-- 695 00:40:02,267 --> 00:40:03,769 Can I just ask, Johan, 696 00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:06,872 how did you get the styling to work? 697 00:40:06,872 --> 00:40:09,708 Well, Jeremy, there was no drawings on the internet, 698 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:12,277 so, erm... I got a book on the dimensions, 699 00:40:12,277 --> 00:40:15,681 but the closest I could get was a 1:32-scale model. 700 00:40:15,681 --> 00:40:18,049 Hang on, so you measured your toy car, 701 00:40:18,049 --> 00:40:21,620 multiplied it by 32 and built a full-sized one. 702 00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:22,954 - Yep. 703 00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:25,691 - Fully road legal. 704 00:40:25,691 --> 00:40:27,726 - It's a real car, not a model? - Yeah. 705 00:40:27,726 --> 00:40:29,795 How long did you spend building this? 706 00:40:29,795 --> 00:40:32,531 From start to roadworthy was 16 months. 707 00:40:32,531 --> 00:40:34,800 Right. Was there, or is there, 708 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,602 a marriage to have survived this? 709 00:40:37,569 --> 00:40:39,571 Well, I hope so. 710 00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:41,139 My wife is here, so it must be a good sign. 711 00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:44,209 - Hello, patient lady. 712 00:40:44,209 --> 00:40:46,545 Well, it's a remarkable achievement, and well done. 713 00:40:46,545 --> 00:40:48,079 Ladies and gentlemen, Johan Ackermann. 714 00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:50,582 - That's brilliant. 715 00:40:50,582 --> 00:40:52,551 Brilliant. 716 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:58,056 We're moving on to a great idea 717 00:40:58,056 --> 00:41:01,392 that Richard Hammond and I have had all by our own. 718 00:41:01,392 --> 00:41:03,629 - And it is brilliant. - It is. 719 00:41:03,629 --> 00:41:07,533 It's called, Making James May Do Something He Doesn't Want To Do. 720 00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:10,602 And we kick off with spinning. 721 00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:12,704 It's a South African thing. Fairly simple. 722 00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:14,740 You get an elderly rear-wheel-drive car, 723 00:41:14,740 --> 00:41:17,743 take it to a car park where you do doughnuts in it 724 00:41:17,743 --> 00:41:19,911 to a backdrop of strong rap music. 725 00:41:21,847 --> 00:41:24,449 It's lively, it's interesting, and it's youthful. 726 00:41:24,449 --> 00:41:26,552 It's everything he isn't. 727 00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:46,838 Well, here we are, then, 728 00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,474 at one of Jo'burg's top spinning destinations, 729 00:41:49,474 --> 00:41:52,711 the aptly-named Wheelz 'n' Smoke Arena. 730 00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:54,813 And the object of the exercise, 731 00:41:54,813 --> 00:41:56,347 as far as I can make out, 732 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,584 is to create smoke. 733 00:42:01,587 --> 00:42:03,288 And drive round and round the arena 734 00:42:03,288 --> 00:42:05,323 until the tyres go bang. 735 00:42:07,225 --> 00:42:08,994 And then what's left of the tyres 736 00:42:08,994 --> 00:42:10,862 are put on a bonfire over there, 737 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,431 to make sure there's absolutely nothing left. 738 00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:27,813 This is Stacy, and she's only about 17, I think. 739 00:42:27,813 --> 00:42:30,115 And the word round here and the noise in the crowd 740 00:42:30,115 --> 00:42:32,117 says that Stacy is actually very good at this. 741 00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:35,621 But how the bloody hell would I know? It's just a massive cloud of smoke... 742 00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:39,457 ...with some headlights occasionally appearing in it. 743 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:43,394 To help me get into the spirit of things, 744 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:47,298 the organisers suggested I should become more involved. 745 00:42:51,336 --> 00:42:54,072 Aaaargh! 746 00:42:57,342 --> 00:43:00,511 Look at the rev case, in the red constantly, mate. 747 00:43:03,148 --> 00:43:06,251 I don't like the smell of tyre smoke in the evening. 748 00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,888 Oi! Get back in! 749 00:43:11,389 --> 00:43:13,825 Get back in the car, you idiot! 750 00:43:15,293 --> 00:43:16,995 Help! 751 00:43:24,535 --> 00:43:26,672 Thank you. 752 00:43:37,983 --> 00:43:40,085 - Yes. 753 00:43:40,085 --> 00:43:41,286 Finally. 754 00:43:58,704 --> 00:44:00,305 I got 20,000 miles 755 00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:03,709 out of the last set of rear tyres on my car. 756 00:44:32,037 --> 00:44:34,205 Just go out there and do it. 757 00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:36,141 Fancy trying to do that in England. 758 00:44:36,141 --> 00:44:38,276 Or anywhere. Or Australia. 759 00:44:38,276 --> 00:44:39,745 Anyway, mm-mm-mm. 760 00:44:39,745 --> 00:44:43,048 James May, was there any part of that that you enjoyed? 761 00:44:43,048 --> 00:44:45,316 - Nope. - Good. 762 00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:48,419 But now it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash. 763 00:44:56,061 --> 00:44:57,996 Now after what happened last week, 764 00:44:57,996 --> 00:45:00,365 our guest this week declined our offer 765 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:03,068 to arrive at the studio on a hovercraft, 766 00:45:03,068 --> 00:45:04,870 saying she would prefer to walk. 767 00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:06,604 - It's understandable. - Yes, it is. 768 00:45:06,604 --> 00:45:08,306 I'm sure that despite this, 769 00:45:08,306 --> 00:45:11,109 you will still give her an enormous welcome. 770 00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:14,279 Although she's now a major Hollywood star, 771 00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:16,681 she was actually born here in South Africa. 772 00:45:16,681 --> 00:45:19,785 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Charlize Theron! 773 00:45:22,653 --> 00:45:25,991 We must ask her about A Million Ways To Die In The West. 774 00:45:25,991 --> 00:45:27,525 I love that film. 775 00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:30,261 But what I really love is the way she looks in it. 776 00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:34,465 The hat and the floaty skirt. She's on a bicycle as well. 777 00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:40,405 JEREMY: Oh, no. RICHARD: Oh, God. 778 00:45:41,606 --> 00:45:44,442 - Oh, not... - Ladies and gentlemen, 779 00:45:44,442 --> 00:45:46,511 Charlize Theron has been attacked by a lion. 780 00:45:46,511 --> 00:45:49,314 - Oh, no. - Literally nothing we can do. 781 00:45:51,016 --> 00:45:52,951 Does that mean she's not coming on, then? 782 00:45:52,951 --> 00:45:56,121 - She's been eaten by a lion. 783 00:45:56,121 --> 00:45:58,589 Well, look, are there any other well-known 784 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,191 South Africans in the audience? 785 00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:02,160 It's not very likely, James. 786 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,995 There's only two globally famous South Africans. 787 00:46:03,995 --> 00:46:06,832 One's now in a lion and the other's in prison. 788 00:46:08,399 --> 00:46:10,568 Let's get back to what we were doing. 789 00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:13,905 Earlier on, we were at a Jordanian special forces training base 790 00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:16,407 learning to be super army soldiers. 791 00:46:16,407 --> 00:46:20,345 And we pick up the action as we rush towards the hijacked airliner 792 00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:24,249 to rescue a VIP and take them to safety. 793 00:46:35,861 --> 00:46:37,863 Let me talk you through the plan. 794 00:46:37,863 --> 00:46:43,368 James and Richard will use the catering lorry as an assault vehicle. 795 00:46:43,368 --> 00:46:45,937 And then, after we've rescued the VIP, 796 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:49,975 we'll use the Audi as a getaway car. 797 00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:57,348 Now what we're doing here, very cleverly, 798 00:46:57,348 --> 00:46:59,317 is we're going round the back of the plane 799 00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:02,153 because planes don't have rear windows 800 00:47:02,153 --> 00:47:05,523 or door mirrors, so they won't see us sneaking up. 801 00:47:05,523 --> 00:47:07,225 Stealthy, you see. 802 00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:10,795 Hammond, we're manoeuvring in. 803 00:47:10,795 --> 00:47:13,031 RICHARD: OK. JAMES: Dab the brakes. 804 00:47:16,334 --> 00:47:18,203 RICHARD: Right, we are in position. 805 00:47:18,203 --> 00:47:22,773 James is gonna lift me on this platform to the door, 806 00:47:22,773 --> 00:47:24,309 then we go in. 807 00:47:24,309 --> 00:47:26,611 Right, are you ready? 808 00:47:26,611 --> 00:47:28,479 I'm ready to lower the jacks. 809 00:47:28,479 --> 00:47:29,981 Absolute stealth. 810 00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:43,594 I think the terrorists 811 00:47:43,594 --> 00:47:45,663 are going to notice this assault. 812 00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:08,553 I think the terrorists are going to notice this assault. 813 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:11,656 Which is why I shall now cause a diversion. 814 00:48:14,359 --> 00:48:17,295 I'm gonna make a smoking doughnut in front of the plane 815 00:48:17,295 --> 00:48:19,530 to distract the terrorists. 816 00:48:22,433 --> 00:48:24,769 JEREMY: Oh, no, this is a disaster. 817 00:48:24,769 --> 00:48:28,073 Even when you turn the traction control off, 818 00:48:28,073 --> 00:48:29,640 it isn't fully off, 819 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:34,279 so you just get miles and miles of dreary understeer. 820 00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:36,481 Bad mark for Audi here. 821 00:48:40,285 --> 00:48:42,320 Come on! 822 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,855 The only good thing is the terrorists will be looking 823 00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:46,057 out of the cockpit windows 824 00:48:46,057 --> 00:48:48,259 thinking, "Why is that Audi 825 00:48:48,259 --> 00:48:50,996 understeering around like that?" 826 00:48:50,996 --> 00:48:53,431 Right! Go low! 827 00:49:00,005 --> 00:49:01,439 Here I come! 828 00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:05,076 Cry havoc and let slip the dog of understeer! 829 00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:23,294 Chaps, I have located the VIP 830 00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:25,430 and it is the Queen of England. 831 00:49:25,430 --> 00:49:27,465 JAMES: I don't like the Royal Family. 832 00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:31,036 James, now is not the time for your republican views. 833 00:49:31,036 --> 00:49:34,272 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 834 00:49:34,272 --> 00:49:36,041 We have an Audi outside. We will... 835 00:49:40,911 --> 00:49:42,613 Why did you shoot Hammond? 836 00:49:42,613 --> 00:49:44,315 He was being annoying. 837 00:49:48,919 --> 00:49:51,889 That's how you do it! 838 00:49:54,059 --> 00:49:57,062 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 839 00:49:57,062 --> 00:49:59,164 We have an Audi outside. We will... 840 00:50:04,435 --> 00:50:07,138 - Well, he shot me! 841 00:50:11,142 --> 00:50:13,778 - That's how you do it! 842 00:50:13,778 --> 00:50:17,748 Somehow in our next attempt, Hammond ended up on the wing. 843 00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:25,190 Oh, I see. You wanna do this the old-fashioned way. 844 00:50:25,190 --> 00:50:27,458 OK, let's dance. 845 00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:30,561 - Aagh! 846 00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:39,970 Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force. 847 00:50:39,970 --> 00:50:43,774 We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety. 848 00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:46,244 - I just said. 849 00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:48,679 We are an elite fighting force. 850 00:50:48,679 --> 00:50:51,216 We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety. 851 00:50:51,216 --> 00:50:53,084 - You'll like it, it's German. - Like you are. 852 00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:56,321 Thank you, James. Are all the terrorists dead back there? 853 00:50:56,321 --> 00:50:58,723 - Everybody's dead back there. - Good man. 854 00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:01,192 Your Majesty, if you'd like to follow us. 855 00:51:11,736 --> 00:51:14,139 He's just shot the Queen in the back of the head. 856 00:51:14,139 --> 00:51:16,674 Well, now what we gonna do? 857 00:51:18,243 --> 00:51:20,278 - Oh... 858 00:51:23,681 --> 00:51:27,352 Go. I'll have that, thank you very much. 859 00:51:28,886 --> 00:51:32,022 Having finally got the Queen into the car, 860 00:51:32,022 --> 00:51:34,659 we were now faced with a perilous drive to the embassy. 861 00:51:37,462 --> 00:51:41,232 However, this did at least mean I could get back to my day job. 862 00:51:42,833 --> 00:51:46,704 I'll talk you through the car. This is the S8 Plus. 863 00:51:48,706 --> 00:51:51,942 Plus means it has 80 more horsepower than the standard car. 864 00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:55,913 That means 0-60 in 3.8 seconds, 865 00:51:55,913 --> 00:51:58,449 top speed: 190. 866 00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,618 How very interesting. 867 00:52:04,189 --> 00:52:07,892 The immense power is harnessed not only by all-wheel drive, 868 00:52:07,892 --> 00:52:10,195 but also by ceramic brakes. 869 00:52:11,562 --> 00:52:14,098 And an electronic differential. 870 00:52:14,098 --> 00:52:17,802 There's a time and a place for talking about that stuff, mate! 871 00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:19,770 Sitting behind a six-foot-five-inch driver 872 00:52:19,770 --> 00:52:22,273 means that rear leg room is rather at a premium. 873 00:52:22,273 --> 00:52:25,610 Having said that, however, for a high-performance saloon, 874 00:52:25,610 --> 00:52:27,678 the ride quality is really rather good. 875 00:52:27,678 --> 00:52:30,080 Will you two stop reviewing the car? 876 00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:35,019 Do you have an opinion, the Queen? 877 00:52:35,019 --> 00:52:36,654 Not now! 878 00:52:40,358 --> 00:52:42,293 Hold it steady, I'm gonna shoot them. 879 00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:48,366 Shoot him in the face! 880 00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:51,302 Have you come far? 881 00:52:56,441 --> 00:52:59,244 The Living Daylights. Transporter 2 and 3. 882 00:52:59,244 --> 00:53:00,311 Taken. Ronin. 883 00:53:00,311 --> 00:53:02,313 Why are you listing films? 884 00:53:02,313 --> 00:53:06,517 Because all those films had a big Audi saloon in them going quickly. 885 00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:10,388 It is the car of choice for the Hollywood hero. 886 00:53:11,556 --> 00:53:12,823 Shut up. 887 00:53:16,627 --> 00:53:19,129 What's the top speed of that thing, James? 888 00:53:19,129 --> 00:53:20,665 About 90 miles an hour. 889 00:53:20,665 --> 00:53:24,335 Well, here is a top tip for Hollywood heroes. 890 00:53:25,603 --> 00:53:27,372 If you're being chased by a car 891 00:53:27,372 --> 00:53:29,274 which is slower than the car you're in, 892 00:53:29,274 --> 00:53:34,279 simply drive faster than it. 893 00:53:34,279 --> 00:53:38,115 See, that's what Nick Cage ought to have thought about, really, in The Rock. 894 00:53:38,115 --> 00:53:41,619 And that man in Ronin, with the S8 chasing the Citroen. 895 00:53:41,619 --> 00:53:43,721 Stop talking about films! 896 00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:45,723 There's a bogey waxing our tail. 897 00:53:45,723 --> 00:53:47,892 - Oh, God! - Gonna shoot its petrol tank. 898 00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:52,730 James, there's no point shooting it. Petrol only blows up in films. 899 00:54:01,706 --> 00:54:03,941 Well, that's not strictly accurate. 900 00:54:03,941 --> 00:54:06,777 - Where the bloody hell is the embassy? - Go down here. 901 00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:10,315 - No, this is rubbish. - There it is. 902 00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:11,949 There it is! 903 00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:15,386 Right, you get the Queen to safety. I'll cover you. 904 00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,822 - OK, I'm on it. - Right, good. Go, go, go! 905 00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,089 Go, go, go! 906 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:20,391 Your Majesty. 907 00:54:20,391 --> 00:54:23,060 Really quickly, Your Majesty. 908 00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:26,030 We can't see. 909 00:54:41,011 --> 00:54:42,547 Come on, Jeremy, come on! 910 00:54:42,547 --> 00:54:44,982 I'm doing my best! 911 00:54:46,417 --> 00:54:48,919 In the plums! 912 00:54:48,919 --> 00:54:50,154 Oh, no! 913 00:54:50,154 --> 00:54:51,622 Just keep moving! 914 00:54:54,459 --> 00:54:56,361 They've done it again! 915 00:54:56,361 --> 00:54:58,396 James, you're missing this! 916 00:54:58,396 --> 00:55:00,431 You cannot modernise the royalty, 917 00:55:00,431 --> 00:55:05,436 because royalty is, at the very best, a medieval concept. 918 00:55:07,004 --> 00:55:08,673 Oh! Shooting! 919 00:55:08,673 --> 00:55:11,542 That's gonna sting! He's still coming! 920 00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:13,177 Keep going! 921 00:55:13,177 --> 00:55:14,745 Mind the mines! 922 00:55:20,585 --> 00:55:22,186 He's still going! 923 00:55:22,186 --> 00:55:24,822 ** [Barber's "Adagio for Strings"] 924 00:55:44,609 --> 00:55:46,744 James, he's dead. 925 00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:52,249 No, wait a minute. He's going again! He's moving again! 926 00:55:52,249 --> 00:55:53,951 Jeremy, come on, you can do it! 927 00:55:53,951 --> 00:55:56,186 Come on, keep going! Come on. 928 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,722 - This is it. - Hammond... 929 00:55:57,722 --> 00:55:59,323 There's the finish line! 930 00:55:59,323 --> 00:56:00,758 Am I going the right way? 931 00:56:00,758 --> 00:56:04,462 More or less. Roll over it. You can do it. 932 00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:07,164 - Yes! We have done it. 933 00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:13,571 Have you come far? 934 00:56:21,245 --> 00:56:25,850 A fighting force. An unbelievable fighting force. 935 00:56:27,084 --> 00:56:29,787 We actually managed to complete that course 936 00:56:29,787 --> 00:56:32,256 in nine hours and 48 minutes. 937 00:56:32,256 --> 00:56:37,595 And that's only nine-and-a-half hours slower than the actual soldiers. 938 00:56:37,595 --> 00:56:39,664 Can I just ask, how many times were you shot? 939 00:56:39,664 --> 00:56:41,866 - On the way to the embassy. 940 00:56:41,866 --> 00:56:46,136 Er... 17 to the torso, two to the... plum set. 941 00:56:48,038 --> 00:56:50,475 Well, obviously, James, yes, look, I lived. 942 00:56:50,475 --> 00:56:54,679 He did. And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end. 943 00:56:54,679 --> 00:56:56,681 Yes, it is. Thank you so much for watching. 944 00:56:56,681 --> 00:56:59,149 See you somewhere next week. Goodbye!