1 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,400 [Jeremy] Hello and welcome to The Grand Tour, 2 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,760 which is not coming to you this time from the top 3 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,440 of a volcano or the bottom of the sea. 4 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,680 No. We are in Berwick-upon-Tweed, 5 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,840 the most northerly town in England. 6 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,600 And our mission is to set off across the border 7 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,800 and then drive all the way across Scotland 8 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,720 to the Outer Hebrides. 9 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,360 Now, this promises to be 10 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,360 one of the most beautiful drives we have ever done. 11 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,920 And on the way, 12 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:21,120 we will be attempting to answer a very important question. 13 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,640 Yeah. It's this... 14 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,640 In Europe we listen to American music, 15 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,680 we buy American clothes, we drink American beer, 16 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,880 we wear American sunglasses. 17 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:35,240 But American cars have never caught on. 18 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,240 Why? 19 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,600 To try and find out, each of us bought an American car. 20 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,280 And this is what I chose, 21 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:52,360 a 19-foot-long Lincoln Continental Mark V. 22 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,880 Remember Jock Ewing out of Dallas? 23 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,640 He had one of these. 24 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,000 Fat Frank Cannon, the TV detective, 25 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,280 he had something very similar, 26 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,520 a Mark IV, basically the same. 27 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,760 And what this means is, is that when I was growing up, 28 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,200 I would see a Lincoln on TV every week 29 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,600 and then I'd turn to my dad and say, 30 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:20,160 "Dad, can we have a Ford Cortina?" 31 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,840 Why didn't I want one of these? 32 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,320 Why didn't he? 33 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,560 Ooh, hello. 34 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,360 It's a... a Buick Riviera. 35 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,360 Oh, yeah! 36 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,840 With a... with a self-opening boot. Shall I shut that? 37 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:48,960 When did that happen? 38 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,320 -Just now as you pulled up. -Yeah, okay, 39 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,600 that's a feature of the model. This is the legendary 40 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,960 1971 Buick Riviera, the boattail. 41 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,080 What? 42 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,240 No, I'm just... I'm just... I'm stunned. 43 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,320 Well, no, the thing is, is we said, 44 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,280 "Why did American cars not catch on in Europe?" 45 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,360 Yeah. 46 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,720 Did this even catch on in America? 47 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,320 Well, that's the thing. You see, the Riviera 48 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,280 was Buick's answer to the Ford Thunderbird. 49 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,040 So from '63 they were making Rivieras. And it was doing well. 50 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,360 They were selling quite a few, 51 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,920 -not as many as the Thunderbird. -Yeah. 52 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,040 So in '71 they said, "Let's make something really striking." 53 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,280 Really new, really out there. 54 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,720 And they made this and everybody hated it. 55 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:26,840 [Jeremy laughs] 56 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,240 [Richard] Literally! 57 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,320 Their advertising material said, "It's like nothing else." 58 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,800 And Americans went, "Good." [chuckles] 59 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,840 But... Jock Ewing, Fat Frank Cannon, celebrity all over it. 60 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:39,880 [Richard clears throat] 61 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,640 Clint Eastwood. 62 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,880 -Really? -Jeff Bridges. 63 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,120 -Really? -Yes. 64 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,520 What, they both had this? 65 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,280 -Bruce Willis. -Bruce... Really? 66 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,080 -So, Frank and Jock? -Yes. 67 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,840 Bruce, Clint and Jeff? 68 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:52,920 [Richard] Yes! 69 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,920 And we still ran around in Europe going, 70 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,560 "I don't know, shall we have an Allegro or... 71 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,680 We had an Allegro Estate, when this existed! 72 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:01,800 What do you suppose May's got? 73 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,320 No, let me rephrase that. 74 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,440 What sort of Cadillac do you suppose May's bought? 75 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,360 [Jeremy] Eventually... 76 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,760 after 20 feet of waiting, 77 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:28,000 we got the answer. 78 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,520 The car now arriving at platforms four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten... 79 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,920 -May? -Yes, sir? 80 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,440 We guessed you'd have a Cadillac. 81 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,520 Not just a Cadillac. This is a Cadillac Coupe DeVille. 82 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,280 -[Jeremy] Is it? -[James] The Cadillac of Cadillacs. 83 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,960 Honestly, driving this, I feel like Elvis Presley. 84 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,200 What, dead on a lavatory? 85 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,600 -[snorts] -[laughs] 86 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,480 Oh my God, how much burgundy can you get in one car? 87 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,280 It's like an American motel room. 88 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:58,040 They must have scraped out all the burgundy mines in the world. 89 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,960 [chuckles] "What color shall we make the seats?" 90 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,520 -[Jeremy] Burgundy. -[Richard] "What about the dash there?" 91 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,320 -[Jeremy] Burgundy. -[Richard] "Ooh, good idea." 92 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,960 But... the switch, the button on the end of the cruise control stalk... 93 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,080 -[Richard] Burgundy -[James] ...is burgundy. 94 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,240 [laughter] 95 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,320 I was hoping you wouldn't notice that. 96 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,760 [Jeremy] Has it fallen off? 97 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,760 Well, I'm gonna have to admit to being a bit of a clot. 98 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,440 I was driving here and I noticed in my mirror 99 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,320 this piece of debris flying away down the road. 100 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,040 And I actually thought to myself, "Do you know what? 101 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,200 That's remarkable. 102 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,280 That piece of debris is the same burgundy 103 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,400 -as my car." -[laughs] 104 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,720 But without actually thinking, 105 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,480 -"I wonder if it came from it?" -[Richard] Oh! 106 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,960 I tell you what we should do, 107 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,160 have a game of Top Trumps. 108 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,240 Engine? 109 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,360 -Yes? -[James] Mm-hmm? 110 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,400 6.6-liter V8. 111 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,640 -Aw, that's cute! -6.6... 112 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,160 -What? It's not cute-- -What does it use to drive the car along? 113 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800 Is that what starts the engine? 114 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,120 Well, how big's the engine in yours? 115 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,880 [Richard] 7.5. 116 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,040 -[James] 7.5 liters? -7.5-liter V8! 117 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,400 [James] Whooph! 118 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:51,440 Go on! 119 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,080 8.2. 120 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,200 [Richard] Eight? 121 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:55,880 [James] 8.2 liters. 122 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,040 This is the biggest V8 ever fitted to a production car. 8.2 liters. 123 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,280 [Jeremy] All right, then. [clears throat] 124 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,760 This is more efficient, obviously. 125 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,840 How many horsepower? 126 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,760 -Mine? -Mm-hmm. 127 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,680 [clears throat] Hundred and ninety. 128 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,200 I don't think horsepower matters. 129 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,720 -How many horsepower? -One hundred and eighty-one. 130 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,200 -That's it? -Yes. 131 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,480 -From 6.6 liters. -[clears throat] 132 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,000 I don't know how they did that. 133 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:19,560 My seven-and-a-half-liter V8 lump developed 250 horsepower. 134 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,240 -Two hundred and fifty? -[Richard] Yeah. 135 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,720 So that's a rocket ship. 136 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,080 [Jeremy] Eager to begin our important journey of discovery, 137 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:35,080 we fired up the 10,000-pound Lincoln, 138 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,880 the 17,000-pound Buick 139 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,560 and Mount Burgundy 140 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,040 and set off. 141 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:46,880 This is it. 142 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,960 [rock music playing] 143 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,920 Scottish border. We're entering McScotland. 144 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,560 [Richard] This is a homecoming for this car 145 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,760 because Mr. Buick of Buick was Scottish. 146 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:30,960 You're going home! 147 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,240 Jeremy Clarkson, are you aware 148 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,160 that your car appears to be talking as it goes along? 149 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,000 [rattling] 150 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,640 [Jeremy] No, I'm unaware of that. 151 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,840 The front bumper is 17 miles in front of where I'm sitting. 152 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,280 We powered along, dumbstruck 153 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,120 at what we'd missed out on in our childhoods. 154 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,560 I seem to remember that in 1970, 155 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,240 the heater was an optional extra in an Austin. 156 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,560 The heater was. 157 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,320 Whereas this has got electrically adjustable seats, 158 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,560 electric windows, electric quarter light, 159 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,240 cruise control... I mean, the Starship Enterprise didn't have cruise control. 160 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,600 I mean, look at this, automatic climate control. 161 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,040 You can set it on economy settings 162 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,240 or an auto setting, or bi-level. 163 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,440 I mean, bi-level. 164 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,640 We wouldn't have even known what that meant. 165 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,240 I mean, if somebody had showed me a window 166 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,920 that moved about using electricity in the 1970s, 167 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,960 I'd have fainted. 168 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,520 Check out my lights! 169 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,720 I've got garage doors for my headlights. 170 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,520 What would my childhood have been like 171 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,480 if I'd wafted about in the back of one of these 172 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,280 instead of a Ford Anglia with a hole in the floor? 173 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,760 My dad would have been my absolute hero. 174 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,200 I'd have had a bright and sunny outlook. 175 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,760 Yeah... 176 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,440 [Jeremy] As we approached the outskirts of Edinburgh, 177 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,760 we were honored with the traditional local welcome. 178 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,200 McRaining now. That's predictable. We've been in Scotland 179 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,320 for, what, 20 minutes? 180 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,560 Presumably the Scottish police can't say "You're nicked, sunshine" 181 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,520 because nobody would know what that meant. 182 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,040 [laughs] 183 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,480 [squeaking] 184 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,040 Not good. The news is not good. 185 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,040 [Jeremy] We then decided to head for the city center 186 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,520 to see how our cars would cope 187 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,760 with the steep and narrow cobbled streets. 188 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,640 Wait a minute. 189 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,240 Oh, my God! 190 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,040 [gears grinding] 191 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,600 This cannot be done. 192 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:29,760 The issues with my bovine differential soon caused another problem. 193 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,640 [Richard] That's me. That's me boiling over. 194 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,720 Chaps, I am boiling over. 195 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,800 [Jeremy] Crikey. It's like John in Mongolia. 196 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,040 After I'd finally conquered the hill, 197 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,520 Hammond topped up with some precious Scottish water. 198 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,920 And wondering how Frank Cannon ever solved anything, 199 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,040 we resumed our journey through the city center. 200 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,480 [Jeremy] Oh, God above. You see what's ahead of us here? 201 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,960 Yep. Right. 202 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,400 Mm, that is a bit bum-squeaky there, Clarkson. 203 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,120 [man speaking indistinctly] 204 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,560 How close am I to that wall? 205 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,280 About that. 206 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,600 [Jeremy] Um, right, I'm going to admit, 207 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,000 my car's a little bit too big for Edinburgh. 208 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,480 I think we can put this down 209 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,160 to Edinburgh's fault rather than the cars. 210 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,640 [Jeremy] No chance. 211 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,680 What if... we temporarily move this bin? 212 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,440 [grunts and groans] 213 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,800 So if I back up now... 214 00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,960 -If you back up now... -Yes. 215 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,160 ...you can swing around, you can just push... 216 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,000 -Mine's boiling! -Oh, sh... It is. 217 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,600 [James] Oh dear, oh dear. 218 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,920 [Richard] Oh, no. 219 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,200 [Jeremy] It's singing the song of death. 220 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,680 [Richard] Oh. Oh. 221 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,920 [radiator humming loudly] 222 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,400 Stand back. 223 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,400 [hums the same note as Richard's car radiator] 224 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,440 [Jeremy] Leaving Hammond to scour Scotland for more water, 225 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,880 I squeezed through the gap 226 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,360 and went off to get us all a zesty drink. 227 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,880 Wooph. 228 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,640 Right. All right, what's happened here, is my door 229 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,560 is stopping my door opening. 230 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,560 How's that happened? Why is it doing this to me? 231 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,800 How did Frank Cannon get in? I can't get in. [grunts and groans] 232 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,560 [woman laughing] 233 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,920 Smooth. [groans] 234 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,640 Beautiful. 235 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,120 Yeah, it was because we... It wasn't blocking the step... 236 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,080 Yeah, but that was... It was further along that way. 237 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,800 -Was it? -That was further back and this was... Yeah... 238 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,360 I think the other one was in front of this one. 239 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,240 -Oh, just put it that way and... -It was. 240 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,120 How am I gonna... 241 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,440 I can't... 242 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,520 Oh, sh... 243 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,880 The whole end has come off. 244 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,760 [sighs] 245 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,960 Having established that American cars 246 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,240 do have some issues in city centers, 247 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,040 we headed back to a three-lane highway. 248 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,320 Whoa! Cool bridge with mist. Look at that! 249 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:16,800 And soon we arrived at the location for our second test. 250 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,800 Scotland's Nurburgring. 251 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,960 It's Brickyard, it's Monza. 252 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,040 The fearsome Knockhill. 253 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,640 The idea is very simple. 254 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:38,920 We shall use a Scottish car to set a benchmark time round the track 255 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:43,680 and then we'll try and beat it in our two-door V8 sports coupes. 256 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:48,000 The only problem we have is which Scottish car shall we use? 257 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,600 The rear-engine 911-style Imp? 258 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,000 The Talbot? The Avenger? 259 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:59,480 The AC three-liter ME? Or perhaps the little Scamp? 260 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,160 It's a smorgasbord of excellence, that is. It really is. 261 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:11,160 After much head-scratching, we settled on the hot Hillman. 262 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,200 And strapped an old friend into the driving seat. 263 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,760 Right, here we go. It's a flying lap. This is what we're timing. 264 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,280 What we've got here is a 1.5-liter big-valve engine. 265 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,840 Lowered front suspension, heavy-duty rear suspension, 93 horsepowers. 266 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,560 Top speed? 108 miles an hour. 267 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,280 [James] It needs more gears. 268 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,640 -It does! -[laughter] 269 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:49,920 Yeah, I'd say... I'd say that's what it's lacking. 270 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:56,320 That is the cream of Scottish excellence in the 1970s. 271 00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,560 Here she comes. 272 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:08,240 Abbie crossed the line with a time of 1:13.98. 273 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,440 And then, with the stopwatch reset, 274 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,720 I unleashed my slab of Detroit heavy metal. 275 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,880 Building up to cross the start-finish line, 276 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,440 I'm hoping, at about 70 miles an hour. 277 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,640 Didn't make it. Sixty-eight. That'll do. 278 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:33,840 Turning in now. 279 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,840 Oh, Christ. 280 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,920 Oh, I've fallen onto the passenger seat slightly there. 281 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,040 That's one of the... Oh, heavens! 282 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,480 I'm now... 283 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,760 I'm now rolling through there. 284 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:52,320 Oh, no, I may have just slightly gone off. But I'm back on again. 285 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,080 Oh, no, my seat has collapsed. 286 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,040 Whoa! 287 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,560 A lot of... A lot of lock. 288 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,240 Come on. Speed! Now and power. 289 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,240 75! That was nearly 80! 290 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,440 After this festival of roll and understeer, 291 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:32,280 we figured James' 8.2-liter Cadillac would be faster. 292 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,800 However... 293 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,000 [chuckling] Come on! 294 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:47,040 I can't believe an engine this big can bog down. 295 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,440 [Jeremy] This issue, coupled with James' leisurely cornering style... 296 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,080 It says "brake." I will follow that advice. 297 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,520 ...and his legendary memory for track layout... 298 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,480 What happens here? I can't quite remember. 299 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,000 ...didn't result in the hottest of laps. 300 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,080 Nice. 301 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,000 [Jeremy] So, with Carroll Shelby's work done, 302 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,800 it was up to the Buick to make America great again. 303 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,840 Pulling a mighty 70 miles an hour. 304 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,280 And across the line to start. 305 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,800 Let's just roll it in. 306 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,680 [whooping, laughs] 307 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,000 Ooh, quite a lot of understeer. 308 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,760 It looks like an American car in the movies, which is exactly what I wanted. 309 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,160 Ooh, I've... Yeah. 310 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,920 [Richard] With our laps complete, 311 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,240 it was time to see whether American firepower 312 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,080 had beaten the Scottish Hillman. 313 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,320 [Jeremy] The time we have to beat... 314 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,480 -Yes? -[Jeremy] 1:13.98. 315 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,560 Mm-hmm. 316 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,280 -James May... -Yes? 317 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,800 1:31.99. 318 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,720 Seventeen,18 seconds slower than a Hillman Avenger. 319 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,360 And you had... 320 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,720 -nearly seven liters more? -Yes. 321 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,680 I did it in 1:21.47. 322 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,280 -Oh, dear. -Richard Hammond... 323 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,400 Yes? 324 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,920 1... 325 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,000 -18... -Oh! 326 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,280 ...point 77. 327 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,960 [James] What does that prove? 328 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,680 Well, it's interesting. I thought mine would be faster than that. 329 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,360 I didn't think mine would be faster. 330 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,920 Well, you weren't driving very quickly. 331 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,200 Well, it's as quickly as it would go. 332 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,640 And it's a comfortable... It's just comfortable. 333 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,520 You've got one dial in your car which is a speedometer. 334 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,560 -Yes. -Which is the one thing you don't need. 335 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,680 -[chuckles] -Yes. 336 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,520 Well, so the car doesn't need it. 337 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,880 [Richard] Not interested in that one! 338 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,280 But what I find funny, 339 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,960 it is the first track I think you've ever driven around 340 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,600 extensively and not hit anything. 341 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,200 -[James] Yes! -God, I didn't. 342 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,720 And your car is the correct way up. I think we can all... 343 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,160 -Thank you. -We can all applaud that. 344 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,520 Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Hammond. 345 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,760 Many years we've done this and... I'm delighted to... 346 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,040 Normally, a paramedic would now be cutting off his trousers... 347 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,280 -[Richard] Yeah. -...and he'd be going to the hospital-- 348 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,560 -[imitates ambulance] -I'd be on the phone to his wife, 349 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,320 -"Hi, Mindy. Yeah, I know, I..." -Again. 350 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,560 -"He's done it again." -[phone pings] 351 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,040 Oh. 352 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,560 A text from Mr. Wilman. 353 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,960 Um... "Apparently there's some kind of virus going round." 354 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,560 -Oh, no, so... -Well, where's he been? 355 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,160 Somebody's let him see a newspaper again, haven't they? 356 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,280 [Jeremy laughs] 357 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,760 It is dangerous when he reads the news. 358 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:34,800 Oh... 359 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,360 "You are not able to stay in a hotel this evening. 360 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,800 I have therefore found you alternative accommodation at the track." 361 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,680 Where? 362 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,800 Oh, dear... 363 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,640 [Richard] It might be fun, a bit of caravanning. 364 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,960 [Jeremy] Once we'd settled in, 365 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:12,480 we sat down to a traditional Scottish dinner prepared by our resident chef. 366 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,680 -[Richard] What is it? -[James] Pork chop. That's... 367 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,360 -What's that there? -That's peas. 368 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:20,440 What's this? 369 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,080 That's a carrot... I think. 370 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,280 -Well, thank you very much... -What, a deep-fried carrot? 371 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:25,520 -Yes. -This isn't a carrot! 372 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,760 It's a sausage! 373 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,400 Oh, it's... Oh, maybe it is a sausage. 374 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,880 There was a sausage in there somewhere. 375 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,160 [muffled] Mm. All right, isn't it? 376 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,360 I can feel myself getting healthier. 377 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,760 -Mm. -Yeah 378 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,480 -My heart is saying "thank you." -What are the peas like? 379 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:39,920 -The peas? -Well, the... 380 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,320 It's a... It's a unit of peas. 381 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,480 [Richard] Oh, yeah. 382 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,080 Well, it makes it a lot easier to eat. 383 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:45,800 -It does. Peas are so difficult to eat... -Peas fall off, yeah. 384 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,960 ...but when you deep-fry them like this... 385 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,600 It brings out the sweetness of the peas. 386 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,320 [Jeremy] After dinner was over and we'd been sick, 387 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,680 we decided to watch some motorsport on Mr. Wilman's laptop. 388 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,880 How many has he ordered? Ooh, that's never gonna fit. 389 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,040 Then... Have you noticed? This is his keyboard, Mr. Wilman's. 390 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,880 Look at the A, worn down, the N 391 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,680 and the L. 392 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,320 Maybe he's been emailing his friend Alan a lot. 393 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,840 [laughs] 394 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,360 Right! 395 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,160 [Jeremy] Anyway, I know a lot of people watching will think 396 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,040 that it was stupid to put our big Yank tanks, 397 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,440 um, on a European circuit against a European car. 398 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,440 Obviously the European car was gonna be faster. 399 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,280 -Not so... -There is history with this. 400 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,800 There is. And actually, the marvelous thing is, 401 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:40,400 at Goodwood race track, they still run races using the cars... 402 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,040 -Yeah. And look at it... -[Jeremy] ...from the '60s. And here we go. 403 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,240 There's every different type of car here. 404 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,840 You've got the big Studebaker there. 405 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,840 [James] That's a heavy thing. 406 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,360 [Jeremy] That's a Ford Galaxy. 407 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,920 And then you've got a Lotus Cortina. 408 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,560 Two Lotus Cortinas. You've got Minis. 409 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,240 And the racing is just breathtaking. 410 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,200 [Richard] Look at it! 411 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,480 [Jeremy] Look at that four-wheel drift in the Lotus Cortina. 412 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,920 So those Lotus Cortinas, they had 130 horsepower? 413 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,600 -[Richard] Yeah. -[Jeremy] What did the Galaxy have? 414 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,400 Four hundred and twenty-five! [chuckles] 415 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,320 [Jeremy] Four hundred and twenty-five? And you can see plain as day. 416 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,120 There we go. Ready. 417 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,000 [Richard] He's just coming up against this great slab of Galaxy. 418 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,720 -"Can I get through?" -[Jeremy] And it is... "No, I can't." 419 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,120 [Richard] Look at it go! He's gone! 420 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,880 [Jeremy] He's just gone 'cause he's got more power. 421 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,560 [Richard] And then he closes up again 'cause there's another corner. 422 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,760 "Right, I'm gonna have another go. I'm gonna keep scrapping." 423 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,200 And then as soon as it opens out, he's gone. 424 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,040 -[Jeremy] And then now-- -[Richard] Just solid gone. 425 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,200 Look, American cars, is what I'm trying to say, 426 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,440 American cars like ours aren't 427 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,920 -necessarily slower... -No. 428 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,440 [Jeremy] ...round a track than European cars, 429 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,720 'cause they're faster on the straight. 430 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,320 [all] Oh! 431 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,640 [Richard] There's a Mini! There's a Mini! 432 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,840 That's about 130 horsepower, that's all he's got! 433 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,280 [all laugh] 434 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:57,800 That is a Terrier at a Doberman. 425 horsepower versus 130! 435 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,120 Look, there he goes again. Yeah, and a wave, yeah! 436 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,480 -He's actually waving to him. -[laughs] 437 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,440 [Jeremy] The next morning we were told 438 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,400 that due to the COVID issues, 439 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,400 we'd have to take our caravans with us. 440 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,160 So, while a man fitted the towbars, 441 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:24,280 we set about making them as stylish as our cars. 442 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,040 What I've done to bring out and enhance 443 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:37,440 the Americanness of my rig is turn my caravan into... 444 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,960 well, the most American and the only cool caravan ever built. 445 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,040 It's an Airstream. 446 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,960 Look at that! Yeah! 447 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,800 I've gone for the low-rider look. 448 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,320 This is a sleek rig. It is big, though. 449 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,800 One foot longer than a London bus. But less sporty. 450 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,960 You got to admit, it's pretty retro-brilliant. 451 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,520 No, it looks like a caravan covered in tin foil for no obvious reason. 452 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,040 He really is a deluded little man, isn't he? 453 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,000 Now, I've had the best idea here, viewers, 454 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,640 because the problem with caravans is that they are unsightly. 455 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,280 They all park together in a field. 456 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,040 They're all a load of white boxes. 457 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,640 It looks like a load of Tupperware. 458 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:36,520 So, I've painted mine black and white and given it an udder. 459 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,080 [laughs] 460 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,920 It does indeed have "a" udder! 461 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,480 [laughs] 462 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,440 With our massive crew convoy bringing up the rear, 463 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,560 we soldiered on through the constant Caledonian downpour. 464 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,600 Uh, can we stop for fuel soon? I'm getting a bit low. 465 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,160 Um, I don't know how you used it up on the track, 466 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,240 but yes, we shall find "an" petrol station. 467 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,200 Oh, this has got very Scottish! 468 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,600 Oh, it's... it's really cold, really cold now. 469 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:35,800 [Richard] Yeah. 470 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,680 [Jeremy] Having established he'd been doing 471 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,120 a polar-bear-friendly eight miles to the gallon, 472 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,200 James announced it was time for his morning ablutions, 473 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,600 which meant he had to put his car in the car park. 474 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,760 I need to go that way with that arm. 475 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,080 That one goes that way, or something like that. 476 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,520 [Jeremy] What is he doing? 477 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,800 How has he managed to get it so far... [laughs] 478 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,480 In his defense, it is quite a tight car park. 479 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,520 Having decided that was good enough, 480 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,120 James went off to do his business. 481 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,160 And we settled down to our customary wait. 482 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,720 I lose about an hour a day waiting for him to have his... 483 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,240 Got time for a roast dinner, mate. 484 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,880 By the time he's read The Telegraph, done the crossword. 485 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,720 And if he does the crossword. 486 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,360 Yeah, I'd say you've got an hour. 487 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:41,560 What? 488 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,880 This is brilliant. 489 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,520 [pants] 490 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,960 [Jeremy] Why do they use such long hoses in fire engines? 491 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,520 Well, in case the fire's a long way away. 492 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,680 [grunts with exertion] 493 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,320 Right. [grunts] 494 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:05,800 Oh, this is... [squeals with excitement] 495 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,600 We could always tell him that the roof seal 496 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:08,680 -was leaking. -[Jeremy] Yes. 497 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:11,840 Yes. 498 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,320 [Jeremy] If you've just joined us, 499 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,160 it's a difficult story to unpack. 500 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,840 Right now he's probably on three-down. 501 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,920 You know when they used to shout "Scramble!" in the war? 502 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,000 -Yes. -No. 503 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,360 Oh, can you imagine if he was 504 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,520 -a Hurricane pilot? -No. 505 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,560 [Jeremy] I reckon you're about there, Hammond. 506 00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,600 [pants with exertion] 507 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:38,920 We assumed James wouldn't discover our mischief until he drove off. 508 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,720 However, we didn't have to wait that long. 509 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,160 [laughing] 510 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,440 [chuckling] He's got to be cross! 511 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,000 [James] Jesus! 512 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,240 [Jeremy] The roof light was open on your caravan. 513 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,640 -[Richard] Yeah. -[James] You're so funny. 514 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,560 Well, while I admire your ingenuity and your application, 515 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,920 that was a low blow on a day like this. 516 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,360 I was already wet. And you could have taken my personal effects out. 517 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,680 Isn't it funny how three people can have very different views of the same thing? 518 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,480 I thought it was a really good idea. 519 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,720 Mm. Same here. 520 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,480 And most of your personal effects were rubber anyway. 521 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,680 [laughs] 522 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:44,120 Oh, God, it's dripping water. How can my windscreen be leaking? 523 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,080 Like I give a toss. 524 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,000 [laughs] Ooh! 525 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,000 [Jeremy] A few miles later, we turned off the main road, 526 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,040 heading for the remote center of Scotland 527 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,800 to do some scientific research. 528 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,600 Now, yes, we do like our cars. 529 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,800 They're charismatic and they're interesting. 530 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,040 And James and Richard currently own American cars. 531 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,360 They've both got Teslas. 532 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,240 But we are not suggesting for a minute 533 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,120 that all American cars are good because they're not. 534 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,880 Some of them are terrible. 535 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,200 And what we're doing now is plunging deep into the Scottish countryside 536 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,320 to conduct an important experiment, which is this... 537 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,840 Who made the worst cars, 538 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,840 the Soviet Union or the Americans? 539 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:51,360 Representing the Soviet Union, we have the FSO Polonez 1.6, 540 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:57,040 the Lada Riva 1200 and the Zastava GTL 55. 541 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,120 And representing the United States in America, 542 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:04,600 we have the Chrysler Voyager, the Chrysler PT Cruiser, 543 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:10,000 which is making me feel sick, and the Pontiac Aztek. 544 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,000 What we're gonna do is have a race around this field, 545 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,120 us three in the American cars 546 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:20,160 and three of our most junior, and therefore expendable, researchers in the Soviet cars. 547 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,560 Rules are simple, 548 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,160 the first one out is the winner. 549 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,320 [James] Hang on, you got that wrong. 550 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,840 What? 551 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,240 It's not the first... "The first one out is the winner"? 552 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,120 -That doesn't make sense. -Yes, it does. 553 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,320 [Jeremy] No, there's no motor race in history where the first one out won it. 554 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,840 No, we're trying to find the worst car. 555 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,280 The worst car will be the first one to conk out. 556 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:38,480 -Oh. -Oh, no, actually... 557 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:39,760 -[Richard] Yeah. -He's got a point, hasn't he? 558 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,640 [James] Then the loser is the winner. 559 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,880 -Yes. -[James] Got it. 560 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:44,960 -[Jeremy] Right. -Good. 561 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,320 [Richard] And so, under a blanket of light drizzle, 562 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,680 the Cold War shootout began. 563 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,880 This, viewers, is the world's first minivan, in fact. 564 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,280 But the most important thing you need to know about it 565 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,280 is that in the Euro NCAP Frontal Collision Test, 566 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:26,280 it scored... Where's the gear stick? Zero. 567 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,040 [Jeremy] The only people who bought these Cruisers were those people 568 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,520 that you find in offices with a sign on their desk saying, 569 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,920 "You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps." 570 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,640 I've got a 3.4-liter V6, 185 brake horsepower. 571 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,760 And that's the end of the good news. 572 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,760 Everything else about this car is disgusting. 573 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,240 At its launch in 2000, they unveiled the first car 574 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,480 and the audience gasped and then laughed! 575 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,840 When Walter White in Breaking Badwas given one of these to drive, 576 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,520 the car was as carefully cast as the actor. 577 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,080 They wanted to show him as a loser. 578 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,880 And nothing says "loser" better than a Pontiac Aztek. 579 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,360 Ha-ha! Lada! 580 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,840 [James] I then decided that to win this race 581 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:33,720 I'd have to hit other cars, and hope I came off worst. 582 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,080 Here I go. 583 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,880 Oh, shit! Didn't quite do it. 584 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:48,040 And soon, my colleagues had the same idea. 585 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,240 Have some of this. 586 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,800 Hammond trying to smash the Aztek up. 587 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:58,720 It's impossible to tell, such is the styling. 588 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,800 I must somehow ram into the Aztek 589 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,840 in such a way, I break my own car. 590 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:09,040 Here it comes! It's an accident! Here it is! 591 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,960 [laughing] 592 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,080 [Jeremy] Oh, no, the PT Cruiser is alive! 593 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,600 [Jeremy] I continued throwing myself at the heavy Aztek 594 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:30,480 until I achieved the exact opposite of what I wanted. 595 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,440 [Richard] Oh! Oh! It died. Uh-oh. 596 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,880 It is, I believe, quite definitely on fire now. 597 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,520 Gentlemen, we may have a winner. 598 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,320 [Jeremy] Oh, no. No! 599 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:43,800 [Richard] Yes! 600 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,200 Yes! 601 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:53,120 [Jeremy] It then became a fight to the death for second place. 602 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,920 [James] Little commie bastard! 603 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,160 [Jeremy] Target acquired. 604 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,280 Accident! 605 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,360 And soon, I got the wrong result again. 606 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,480 No! 607 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,000 No! 608 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,160 He's broken. [groans] 609 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,440 [blows raspberry] That was a bad one. 610 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,680 [Jeremy] Why is my car still working? 611 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,960 We all know this is the worst thing ever made by man. 612 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,120 Come on, take me. Take me out. 613 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,040 That FSO is solid. 614 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,680 Yes! That's more like it. 615 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:44,840 Ooh. That's a big hit. 616 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,160 But yet again... 617 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,920 Is that the FSO down? The FSO down and out? 618 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,760 This is a disaster! 619 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,320 And to make things worse... 620 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,840 [James] No, May cocks it up. 621 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,120 [Jeremy] Now just James and I were left. 622 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:15,200 The two Chryslers fighting it out for the honor of last place. 623 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:18,920 Both cars were now too damaged to catch one another. 624 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,200 So it was a case of waiting to see... 625 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,800 who would die first. 626 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:29,280 Break! Break! 627 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,160 Catch fire! Roll over! I don't care! Just break! 628 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,520 That bonger is the temperature. I'm down on power. 629 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,160 Yes, I'm boiling. 630 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,640 I think I'm boiling over. Any minute now, the engine will seize. 631 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,920 [James] I seem to have lost third gear, 632 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,640 which was the most useful one round here. 633 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,840 Now the gear changes. No, I think I've had it. 634 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,160 No! But my... Look at my temperature gauge! No! 635 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,480 No, it can't be. No, I won't have this. 636 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,560 Are you out or are you just making it up? 637 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,040 No, I'm out. 638 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,640 [Jeremy] No, it's... I wanted this to be the worst car. 639 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,760 -Yes. -And it says 640 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,520 that this has actually come last. 641 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,680 It's the sixth worst car ever made. 642 00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,280 Hang on, is that the... I forgot the rules. 643 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,160 -Yes, that's the way it is. -Yes, you've won, so you've lost. 644 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,920 I know. I'm still running, therefore I've lost. But look at that... 645 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:27,120 [Jeremy] Rather than spend an hour re-explaining the rules to James, 646 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,920 we declared the Aztek the winner, 647 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:36,720 and with Hammond navigating, set off back to the A9. 648 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,800 Right, we're looking for a bloody big road. 649 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,280 [Jeremy] However, before we even realized we were lost, 650 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:49,000 my Lincoln started to do what the PT Cruiser wouldn't. 651 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,120 Why is my engine... 652 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,560 I'm misfiring badly now going up this hill. 653 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:55,960 Come on. 654 00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:01,400 Come on, car, please. 655 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,440 [Jeremy] We therefore pulled into a farmyard 656 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,640 so I could make some repairs. 657 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,040 I'm gonna have a look at my carb-u-rettor. 658 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,320 As I broke out my extensive tool kit, 659 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,920 James went off to put the kettle on. 660 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,520 -A cup of tea? -Thank you. 661 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,720 Would you like a... What? 662 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,120 -That's very nice. -I've gotta say... 663 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,680 Would you like a soft biscuit? 664 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:25,240 -...that works. -It does. 665 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:26,520 What works? 666 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,960 [Richard] Well, exactly. 667 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,080 [James] Oh! That's my caravan. 668 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,760 That's so much better. 669 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,840 [Jeremy] Eventually, my repairs were complete. 670 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,080 Broken. 671 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,160 Oh, that could keep you occupied for hours. 672 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,680 Why won't it go on? That's ridiculous. 673 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:47,920 The last thing I knew was I was in my 30s. 674 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,520 -Yeah. -Late 30s, admittedly. 675 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,920 And then suddenly, I'm standing in a field still watching... 676 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,520 How's this possible? 677 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,920 [laughs] 678 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,560 Ah, this is brilliant. 679 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,400 -Yeah! -[Richard] Ah! Wow! 680 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:02,080 What a sense of achievement. 681 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,400 -[Jeremy] Now, the next thing is... -[Richard] Where do we go. 682 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,480 -[Jeremy] No mobile phone signal. -No. 683 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,160 We've gotta find the A9. 684 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,440 -Mm. Mm. -It... 685 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,560 One thing you can't do in Scotland is navigate using the sun. 686 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:17,880 -No. -No. 687 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,680 [Richard] You can't navigate by clouds, they move. 688 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,400 How about getting... 689 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,760 [Jeremy] Having decided to go for that option, 690 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,160 I had a couple of small accidents. 691 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,160 Oh, God. 692 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,920 [Jeremy] But soon, we were back on the move, 693 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,160 with Pathfinder Hammond once again on point. 694 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,280 Any minute now, there'll be a T-junction, 695 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,560 and then a... a small road rather than a track, 696 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,880 and then a big road. 697 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,800 Then, all of that didn't happen. 698 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,640 There's a hole. 699 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,920 Hammond's just brought us on a rally special stage by the looks of it. 700 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,040 Ow! Ow! Ow! 701 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,840 [Richard] Is this the A9? 702 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,720 [Jeremy] No. 703 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,800 No speed cameras on it. That's how you know it's not the A9. 704 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,560 Oh! No! Shit. 705 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,280 What? 706 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,120 [James chuckling] I'm sorry! That was hilarious! 707 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:44,240 [Jeremy] So, ladies and gentlemen, what is missing from this picture? 708 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,480 It was just epic! 709 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:46,960 I've never seen anything like it! 710 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,440 -What, the towbar's come off? -Yeah. 711 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,240 The towbar has come off. 712 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,080 [Richard] Oh, dear. That's... 713 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,440 [Jeremy] If you put that in a Tom and Jerrycartoon, it would be absurd. 714 00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,640 -[laughs] -What if that had happened on the A9? 715 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,760 Well, that, you'd have there'd have been shouting. 716 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,840 But where am I gonna sleep tonight? 717 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,080 There. That's where your caravan is. 718 00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,640 [Jeremy] We decided to abandon my caravan 719 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:11,840 and resumed our journey, behind Richard Blomquist. 720 00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:20,200 So he's driving up a mountain and he thinks 721 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:22,800 he's going to find the A9 at the top of it, does he? 722 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,400 Oh. Oh. 723 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,280 Good slapper, Hammond. 724 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,360 [Richard] The tail's wagging the dog a little bit here. 725 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,760 Ooh. Yeah. 726 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:38,120 Oh! Oh, dear, oh, dear, something's gone wrong. 727 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:42,280 Um... 728 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,840 Ooh. 729 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,640 -[Jeremy] Were you driving too quickly on a gravel track? -[Richard] Yes. 730 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,640 I can't help it. Gravel track... 731 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,680 Well, if you undo yourself... 732 00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:55,960 Yeah, he's done that. 733 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000 -Are you... Are you undone? -Yeah. 734 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,520 So that... Yeah. 735 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,560 If you get yourself out, Hammond... 736 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,040 -[Richard] Yeah? Ooh. No! -[Jeremy] There you go. 737 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:07,160 [Richard] No! 738 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,640 [Jeremy] Oh, that's worked. 739 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,320 [Richard] Well, I've unhitched it. 740 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,520 You're... you're free... Your car will get out now. 741 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,800 It's stuck. 742 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,520 [Richard chuckling] It's sitting on the fuel tank! Look! 743 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,600 So here's the situation, we've got one caravan left and it's soggy. 744 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,560 Damp, yes, very. 745 00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:40,360 We aren't allowed to stay in a hotel, even if we could find one. 746 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,640 [James] Which we won't. 747 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:43,440 [Jeremy] Mm. 748 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,240 What if... we stay in a castle? 749 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,040 There isn't a rule that says you can't stay in a castle, is there? 750 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,640 But there isn't a castle. 751 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,160 Well, we're in Scotland. There'll be one in 300 meters. 752 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,000 It doesn't require... There are... 753 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,200 And they're all empty 'cause nobody's allowed to use their second homes. 754 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,160 And castles are always second homes. 755 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,920 Unless you're part of the Royal Family. 756 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,480 The fact is, you could be onto something. 757 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,040 All we've gotta do is find a castle. 758 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,080 Find a castle. 759 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,560 [James] With that decided, 760 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,520 we got Hammond out of the ditch... 761 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,600 ...and went in search of a castle. 762 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,640 [Jeremy] James May, I never thought I'd say this to you, 763 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,280 but your udder has come off. 764 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,400 [James] Don't ever say that to me again. 765 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,440 [Jeremy] The terrain was very rough. 766 00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:42,800 [James] Bollocks. 767 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,520 [Jeremy] What the hell? 768 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,600 [Richard] Oh, brilliant. 769 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,920 I've done some damage underneath. 770 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,600 [Jeremy] But mercifully, after just two miles... 771 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,440 we did find what we were looking for. 772 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,280 Yeah. This is ideal. 773 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,680 [Jeremy] We settled down for the night in someone else's castle, 774 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:49,160 and the next morning, having admired their view, 775 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:56,560 James scuttled off to the kitchen to deploy his cooking skills again. 776 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,320 It's a deconstructed and deep-fried kedgeree, in effect. 777 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,120 So you have a kipper, a rice ball and an egg. 778 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,960 All deep-fried? 779 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,520 All deep-fried. Enjoy. 780 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:11,640 I am intrigued. 781 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,800 [Jeremy] Um... marvelous. Well done, you. 782 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,920 Now, our job on this mission, as you know, 783 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,880 was... Mm. 784 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:22,920 Mm-hmm. 785 00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,160 -Mm. -What? 786 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,960 Well, it's... interesting flavors. 787 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,280 That's challenging. 788 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:29,800 [James] The kipper's good, though, isn't it? 789 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,120 I like kippers and I like batter. 790 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,560 Yeah, I love kippers. I love batter. 791 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,920 I also like marshmallow and a nice pencil. 792 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,240 -[Jeremy laughs] -[James] Yeah. 793 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,320 But I don't want them all in one big congealed lump. 794 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,760 [Jeremy] Now, I've been thinking. 795 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,320 Our job on this was not to steal somebody's house... 796 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,840 [clears throat] and deep-fry everything we could find. 797 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,360 Um... 798 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,360 it was to work out why American cars 799 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,520 -haven't... or never caught on. -Yes. 800 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,080 This scale of not catching on... in the 1970s, 801 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,040 we in the UK bought nine-and-a-few thousand... [sniffs] 802 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,000 US-built cars, nine-and-a-bit thousand, okay? 803 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:08,880 We bought 2,47,000 Soviet-made cars. 804 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,960 A big contributor to the success of Soviet cars in Britain 805 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,680 was the, uh, People's Republic of South Yorkshire. 806 00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:16,280 Well, it was. It was mainly where people bought Ladas. 807 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,480 Yeah. 808 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,200 [Jeremy] And what have we established so far? 809 00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,400 That we like our cars... 810 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:22,720 I love my car. 811 00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:24,480 [Jeremy] Love them, but they are flawed. 812 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,760 -Quite big. -Very, very, very big. 813 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,360 Yeah, quite difficult to maneuver in many parts of Britain. 814 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,800 Yes. And yours is very unreliable. 815 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:32,960 It's flamboyant. 816 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,040 But that's our cars. We've also established 817 00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,680 that slightly smaller cars, such as the PT Cruiser... 818 00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,240 [clears throat] and the Aztek and so on, 819 00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,480 the worst cars, amongst the worst cars ever made. 820 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,000 Hateful garbage. 821 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,400 But here's the thing, we must never forget 822 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,240 America also made some absolute corkers. 823 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,480 [rock music playing] 824 00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,800 [Jeremy] Inspired by this back catalogue, 825 00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,040 we chose our favorite muscle cars, 826 00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,520 and then used them to go for something else 827 00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,520 that America populized. 828 00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:09,720 A pizza. 829 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,280 But you... I still say you can have pineapple on it. 830 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,400 -You can't. -With ham. 831 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:15,680 -No, you can't have. -A Sloppy Giuseppe, 832 00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:16,720 -that's what you have to have... -No, with ham. 833 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:17,880 -Ooh, God! -No, no pineapple... 834 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,280 I've just remembered something. 835 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:20,840 You know my mate, John? 836 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,880 Everyone calls him Tramp. 837 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:24,400 He's invited us 838 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,480 for a perfectly straightforward shooting weekend. 839 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:27,600 When? 840 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,400 Well, we've gotta be there in 37 minutes. 841 00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:36,840 What? Pizza Express to Tramp's in 37 minutes? That's not possible. 842 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,000 Or is it? 843 00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:02,760 There have been a great many fabulous muscle cars over the years, 844 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,720 but this is my favorite, the Mustang. 845 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:16,480 The Mustang was the fastest-selling car of all time. 846 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:18,680 A record that's never been beaten. 847 00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:23,400 They sold 22,000 on the first day! 848 00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,560 This particular example, the GT500, 849 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,680 built in 1967, 850 00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:32,560 and I cannot think of any car that suits the mood 851 00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,000 of the moment more perfectly. 852 00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,000 Color television has just arrived. 853 00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,800 The Apollo space program was just beginning. 854 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:51,120 We were all listening to Sgt. Pepper and Fleetwood Mac and Jimi Hendrix. 855 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:55,840 But in America, the family man could buy a seven-liter Mustang! 856 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:07,680 This, viewers, is a 1969 Chevrolet Camaro Z/28. 857 00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,120 It was Chevrolet's response to the Mustang, 858 00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,680 which they thought was a bit slabby. 859 00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:19,520 So they came up with something more curvaceous. 860 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,840 This muscle car feels particularly agricultural. 861 00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,240 We imagine that the Americans didn't realize that. 862 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,000 But I think they did. 863 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,400 I think they knew and they just thought, "Well, sod it. It's a laugh." 864 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,640 That's what was great about America in those days. 865 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:39,440 Optimism, hope, unashamed consumption. 866 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,480 Britain, of course, saw the Mustang 867 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,360 and all the cars it inspired, such as this one, and thought, 868 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,600 "Yeah, we'll have a go at that," 869 00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,920 and gave us the Capri, 870 00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:57,200 which was available with a 1.3-liter engine. 871 00:50:57,240 --> 00:50:59,400 Why were we so meek? 872 00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:08,840 The Dodge Charger, 873 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,760 one of my all-time favorite cars and one of the greats. 874 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:16,240 Specifically this 1968 second-generation version 875 00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,040 ofBullitt andDukes of Hazzard fame. 876 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,920 I mean, just look at it, it screams "legend." 877 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,560 The Charger was aimed at young people specifically, 878 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,560 which today would mean "make it so small and bland 879 00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:32,000 as to be invisible and give it the engine from a pencil sharpener." 880 00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,200 Back then it meant "give it a huge V8, 881 00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:36,680 bonnet scoops and flared haunches." 882 00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:38,120 They were fun! 883 00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,840 [James] Uh, what is a perfectly straightforward shooting weekend anyway? 884 00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,720 I've no idea. 885 00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:50,720 I don't think anyone in the world knows 886 00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,440 what a perfectly straightforward shooting weekend is. 887 00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:54,880 They're all different. 888 00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:57,320 Uh-oh. Chaps? 889 00:51:58,720 --> 00:51:59,800 Yes? 890 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,280 -Died. -[car backfires] 891 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,560 -[loud bang] -Oh! 892 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,920 [James] Hammond, do you mind not doing that? I've had a heart attack. 893 00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:12,560 It turned out that a detached brake caliper 894 00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:16,440 had broken the wheel, which had jammed the gearbox, 895 00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,200 and that caused the engine to explode. 896 00:52:19,240 --> 00:52:21,080 But since the clock was running, 897 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:26,120 Jeremy and I had to leave Britain's unluckiest driver and press on. 898 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,240 This is ridiculous. 899 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:37,400 It's like driving to Barnard Castle to see if your eyesight works. 900 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,840 [vehicle beeping] 901 00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:00,200 [Jeremy] But despite this, we did make it 902 00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:04,800 from Pizza Express to Tramp's in 37 minutes. 903 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,280 We've made it. We have made it. 904 00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,000 Oh, yes. 905 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,360 But while we'd made it on time, 906 00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,400 there was a problem. 907 00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,560 I'm not sure we're blending in terribly well 908 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,640 on this perfectly straightforward shooting weekend. 909 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:29,000 Well... [sighs] It could be worse. 910 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:36,800 -[James] Oh. -[Jeremy laughs] 911 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,600 What are you wearing? 912 00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,440 Yeah, I know, I... I've overdone this. 913 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,880 I am sweating with embarrassment. 914 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,720 Well, you're lucky. After what happened in Argentina, I can't sweat. 915 00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:53,960 -Really? -No. 916 00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,480 -You can't sweat? -No, not a thing. 917 00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,040 This was inspired by my car. It's misled me. 918 00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,120 [phone pings] 919 00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:02,680 A text from Mr. Wilman. 920 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,120 A long one. 921 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,840 "You have finally uncovered the main problem 922 00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,600 with owning an American car in Europe, it's embarrassing." 923 00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:15,200 Mm. [laughs] 924 00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:16,320 We don't blend. 925 00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,560 It is a bit. 926 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,080 It doesn't fit. 927 00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,640 "But if there was a community where American car enthusiasts 928 00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,360 could live side by side with people who shared their passion, 929 00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,760 it wouldn't be embarrassing. 930 00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,440 So I've created a small town in the Outer Hebrides 931 00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,560 where people can do just that. 932 00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,600 And that's where you're headed now." 933 00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,040 -So, yes, no, what he's... -You can actually... 934 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,160 he's thinking a bit like a sort of a drug-dependency support group. 935 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,920 You go there knowing that everybody else is like you. 936 00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,040 Exactly, every... 'Cause you obviously turn up here, 937 00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,040 cars like this, as we've just done. 938 00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:49,440 Bollocks, isn't it? 939 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:53,800 People go, "God above, Darren, Gary and Kevin are here." 940 00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:57,920 But if there was a community... 941 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,280 We'll be amongst our own kind. 942 00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,600 You could say, "Can I get a burger?" 943 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,520 Yeah. You can have cheese on everything. 944 00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,080 -And a strawberry on your laundry... -Yes, strawberry. 945 00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,680 -[in American accent] A strawberry. -You could actually say... 946 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:12,720 And nobody will look at you because they're all doing it. 947 00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,080 -Everyone is in the same boat. -It's brilliant. 948 00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:15,480 Well done, Mr. Wilman. 949 00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:17,080 That's not a bad idea, actually. 950 00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,600 That's... hmm, yes, that's inspired... 951 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,520 And I've just... I've just thought... 952 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,320 If we're going to this island where everything's American 953 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,520 and everybody drives an American car, 954 00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:31,200 why don't we make our cars more American? 955 00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:35,200 I know your Cadillac is as American as an eagle made of cheese, 956 00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:37,240 but make it more American. 957 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,960 We'll modify them, and then we'll arrive on the island 958 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,160 in very American cars. 959 00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,560 He will be so happy. 960 00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,840 I can only think of an eagle made of cheese now. 961 00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,560 [chortles] 962 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,400 [Jeremy] Two days later, 963 00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,880 we set off on a 200-mile journey 964 00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:05,080 to Mr. Wilman's Hebridean island in our newly modified cars. 965 00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:12,400 Let me talk you through what I've done. 966 00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,760 I focused initially on repairing things. 967 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,480 I've repaired the windscreen wiper as best I can. 968 00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,880 I've used waterless coolant to try and solve the overheating problems. 969 00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,200 And then... Well, if you look closely at the front here, 970 00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:24,960 I fitted the massive supercharger 971 00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,440 you can see sticking out of the bonnet. 972 00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,040 Gains about 100 horsepower from that. 973 00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,560 [exclaims] 974 00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,800 And having done the supercharger at that end, 975 00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:42,480 I needed something visually to balance it 976 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,320 to make it a cohesive whole. 977 00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:48,480 So I fitted the Plymouth Road Runner-style wing at the back. 978 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,520 [chuckles maniacally] 979 00:56:56,720 --> 00:57:00,640 Hello, viewers. I've turned my Cadillac Coupe DeVille 980 00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,640 into a low-ri-der. 981 00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,120 Three inches lower at the front. 982 00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:10,600 It's two inches lower at the back, 983 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:14,160 courtesy of heavy-duty Land Rover Defender springs. 984 00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:18,800 A two-and-a-half-inch straight-through side-mounted exhaust. 985 00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:24,720 Now, this was already a very cool, very relaxed car. 986 00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,400 It's now even cooler and relaxeder. 987 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,680 -[thud] -Uh-oh. 988 00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,280 I may have overdone the lowering a bit. 989 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:45,200 This thing is now wearing white-letter heavy-duty boots and it's worked well. 990 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:53,480 I've also addressed my power issues by fitting nitrous injection. 991 00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,520 It's perfectly straightforward. 992 00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:02,240 Instead of mixing the petrol with ordinary air before it goes into the engine, 993 00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,760 it's mixed with a blend of nitrogen and oxygen. 994 00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:09,040 Let's try it out. Engage system with toggle switch. 995 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:10,280 Prime the tank. 996 00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:12,360 Firing... 997 00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:23,160 That makes no diff... Why does that not make any difference at all? 998 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:24,200 [clicks switch] 999 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,760 [James] Did you make other modifications to the fuel system 1000 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,920 apart from putting the nitrous bottle in? 1001 00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,560 [Jeremy] Yes, I did. 1002 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,200 [James] What did you do? 1003 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:36,640 Many things. 1004 00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,120 He hasn't done it, has he? 1005 00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:41,840 Did you alter the timing? 1006 00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,200 [Jeremy] I advanced it. 1007 00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,360 [laughs] 1008 00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,160 What would happen if I hadn't done anything to the timing 1009 00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:50,960 -or anything like that? -[laughs] 1010 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,160 [James] I think... 1011 00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:53,880 Yeah, you'd have made the mixture lean 1012 00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,880 and you'd probably melt the pistons. 1013 00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,720 Well, I'll get a grandstand view of the explosion from back here 1014 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,840 if I can see it round my supercharger. 1015 00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:07,000 See around it? Is your supercharger actually in the way, then? 1016 00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:10,240 Um, only in... in certain directions. 1017 00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:13,680 Um, if I look forwards, for instance, yes, it... 1018 00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:15,200 it blocks the view. 1019 00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,040 [laughs] He can't see! 1020 00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:28,040 Later, I discovered another issue that had been caused by the modifications. 1021 00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,440 [tire squeals] 1022 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,320 That's my tire. 1023 00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,080 [tire squealing] 1024 00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:37,520 [laughs] 1025 00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:43,560 The sound of my tires catching on the bodywork. 1026 00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:46,520 [laughs] 1027 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,640 I've really cocked this up, haven't I? 1028 00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,320 We continued our journey north, 1029 00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:01,920 against the ever-familiar backdrop of Scotland's weather. 1030 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,520 God really did mess up with Scotland, didn't he, 1031 01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:08,920 'cause, "Oh, look at that. It's my best work. 1032 01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:11,800 And now it's gonna rain constantly." 1033 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:13,600 [Richard] Yeah, he made something really rather beautiful 1034 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:16,960 and then covered it with a tatty old sheet in the form of the weather. 1035 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,520 It's interesting that in the Islamic world, 1036 01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:23,840 artifacts can't be perfect because only God is capable of perfection. 1037 01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,800 But in Christian society, we like to think that God 1038 01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:28,840 introduces some imperfection and flaws into the world 1039 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,920 lest we should be blinded and driven mad by its beauty. 1040 01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,600 James, are your side pipes putting fumes into the cabin? 1041 01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:39,440 He began that by saying, "It's interesting, isn't it," 1042 01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:43,840 and then proceeded to not be interesting for the next ten minutes. 1043 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:52,040 Eventually, though, the rain eased, 1044 01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:54,920 which meant we could enjoy a lovely view 1045 01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,080 while Hammond mended his car. 1046 01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,480 -[James] What up? -[Richard] That's a split fuel tank. 1047 01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:06,640 I don't think there's any denying that. 1048 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,080 Could you make it to that village down there? 1049 01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,560 -Probably. -'Cause they'll have a petrol tank welding center, 1050 01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:12,720 -I'm sure of it. -Mm. 1051 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,000 It's quite difficult to weld a petrol tank. 1052 01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:15,560 You've gotta be very careful with that. 1053 01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,560 [Richard] I need to find something that I can gum it up with. 1054 01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:20,280 [Jeremy] Sticky tape? Duct tape? 1055 01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:21,520 Well, it's an interesting proposition 1056 01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,560 'cause petrol dissolves most adhesives. So... 1057 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,680 Yes, James, it's an interesting proposition. 1058 01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,160 Meanwhile, my car's life blood is draining away. 1059 01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:34,400 [Jeremy] Having solved the problem with some of my nicotine gum, 1060 01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:40,160 we stopped looking at the view and drove into it. 1061 01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:45,120 [folk music playing] 1062 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:33,120 I really do like this car. I like the way it looks now. 1063 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,440 I always like the way it looks. Now I like the way it looks even more. 1064 01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:41,240 It's supremely comfortable and it's got a Cartier clock, 1065 01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,840 which is absolutely beautiful. 1066 01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:48,560 It moves me, that clock, moves me with its beauty. 1067 01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:53,560 [Jeremy] How many cars have we ever kept from our television shows? 1068 01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,560 Uh... Well I... well, I kept Oliver, the Opel Kadett. 1069 01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:01,320 I've kept the Alfa, the Bentley and the Excellent. 1070 01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,960 I've only kept my beach buggy. 1071 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,040 Not many, then, out of all the hundreds. 1072 01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:09,000 I think I know what you're thinking now. 1073 01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,480 I really want this Lincoln in my life. 1074 01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:14,360 [Richard] I do not want to give up my Riviera. I love it. 1075 01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,120 [James] What about the Cadillac? 1076 01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,920 Well, I will admit it may have, yes, 1077 01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:22,040 got under my skin a bit and I may actually love it, 1078 01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:23,920 especially now it's a low-rider. 1079 01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:32,200 [Jeremy] As the light faded, we found the nearest castle to stay in. 1080 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,840 And that night, Hammond and I 1081 01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:39,560 decided to replace James' missing wheel spat. 1082 01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:48,040 And the next morning, he was very grateful. 1083 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:51,200 [James screaming] Clarkson! 1084 01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,880 That's a particularly shoddy piece of work. 1085 01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:55,600 [Richard] Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! 1086 01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:57,960 Two American stars on your American car... 1087 01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,880 -Exactly. -...that is an enhanced spat. 1088 01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:01,720 [James] But you could have made an effort to make it fit. 1089 01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:02,800 I mean, what are these... 1090 01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:04,680 Just... You've just driven 1091 01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,800 ugly cross-headed self-tapping screws into my Cadillac. 1092 01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:09,400 It's fixed, though. 1093 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:29,040 [Jeremy] As we continued to head for Mr. Wilman's American island, 1094 01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:32,000 we came across an important piece of road 1095 01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:34,760 for the nation's car enthusiasts. 1096 01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,600 Right, this is Britain's Stelvio Pass, 1097 01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,320 the Applecross. 1098 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,760 That's what it's called. 1099 01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:58,720 This is an opportunity to find out 1100 01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:03,600 how our cars will manage on an alpine road. 1101 01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:06,680 Science is about to happen. 1102 01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:10,360 [Richard] I'm with you. A scientific experiment, yes. 1103 01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:11,960 Right, here we go. 1104 01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:16,720 [grinding] 1105 01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,080 Gawd streuth. Oh. 1106 01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:28,640 Yeah, that... that... that is a problem. 1107 01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:33,640 Um... I can't see through the windscreen because it mists up. 1108 01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,400 And on the other side, the windscreen wiper isn't working. 1109 01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,280 But even if I could see through the windscreen, 1110 01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:42,000 on the other side of it is the supercharger, which is dominating the view. 1111 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,160 Impossible to see... 1112 01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:53,760 Yeah... 1113 01:05:56,760 --> 01:06:00,560 This specific American car is struggling a little bit 1114 01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:04,320 with this specific bit of the UK. 1115 01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:08,400 All right, coming up to this hairpin bend. 1116 01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,720 Preparing myself mentally for the challenge. 1117 01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:12,960 And here we go. 1118 01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:16,360 And... braking nicely. 1119 01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:21,000 [screeching] 1120 01:06:26,240 --> 01:06:27,480 She's round! 1121 01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:30,560 [James] Quite a lot of mist. 1122 01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,840 Oh, dear. 1123 01:06:35,880 --> 01:06:37,000 [car horn honks] 1124 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:38,120 What? 1125 01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:43,560 How have we ended up driving on the other side of the road? 1126 01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:47,040 [tires screech] 1127 01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:52,640 [laughs] 1128 01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,040 We're about to drive into a cloud. 1129 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:08,280 [Jeremy] Eventually, we reached the top of the pass, 1130 01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:10,640 got out to look at the famous view... 1131 01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:19,320 ...and then set off back down again. 1132 01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:27,480 It... Oh, sh... I've gone off the road. 1133 01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:32,400 Oh, there we go. Now... [exclaims] 1134 01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:35,280 Yeah. When I thought this morning, 1135 01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:40,560 "Let's go up that switchback mountain road in our two-door V8 coupes," 1136 01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:43,680 it didn't look like this in my head. 1137 01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,400 I should have known when I put a duffel coat on. 1138 01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:48,880 You don't see a Formula 1 driver getting into his car 1139 01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,600 in a duffel coat, do you? 1140 01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:58,400 Later that day, we reached the Isle of Skye. 1141 01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:10,000 And having crossed that, we boarded a ferry to the island of North Uist. 1142 01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:18,200 And once we were underway, we engaged in some light automotive philosophy. 1143 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,960 You know, the funny thing is... 1144 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:26,240 when you see someone driving an American car in Britain, 1145 01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:28,240 you know everything about them. 1146 01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:30,960 You know that Trump makes them plump, 1147 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,080 they've got a Confederate flag in the garage... 1148 01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:34,800 -Yeah. -...they only drink Bud. 1149 01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:36,640 When you see someone driving a Fiat, 1150 01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:39,160 you don't think, "Well, I bet he waves his arms around 1151 01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,960 and has a weird relationship with his mother." 1152 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,360 Or someone in a Volvo, you don't think, 1153 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:43,840 "Oh, I bet he gets naked and then rolls around 1154 01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:44,960 in the snow with his neighbors." 1155 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:46,640 -Exactly. -But that's what I mean, 1156 01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:48,320 you don't make assumptions based on the car's nationality at all. 1157 01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,360 No, you don't, you don't. But with an American car... 1158 01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:52,400 -[James] You do. -...you absolutely do. 1159 01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:53,960 You're absolutely right because if, for example... 1160 01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,480 I mean, let's just take a hypothetical case, 1161 01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:59,080 if you saw a classic Mustang, say a dark-green one, 1162 01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:00,880 and it was being driven by Richard Hammond, 1163 01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:03,960 all you can see is his face just sticking up above the steering wheel, 1164 01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:06,440 but you'd still think, "I bet he's wearing cowboy boots." 1165 01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,960 And he is. The only thing he doesn't do 1166 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,520 that he should as an American car enthusiast 1167 01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:16,200 is play golf. 1168 01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:17,800 Yeah. Pfft! 1169 01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:19,200 What do you mean, "Yeeah"? 1170 01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:21,280 Yeah. 1171 01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:24,600 -"Yeeah, yeeah." -Have you got something you'd like to share? 1172 01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:28,160 My name's Richard Hammond and I've taken up golf recently. I've been having lessons. 1173 01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:37,440 -Seriously? -Yeah. 1174 01:09:37,480 --> 01:09:40,440 I bought a set of golf clubs and I've been having lessons, 1175 01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,800 twice a week at my local golf course. 1176 01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:45,840 Why have you taken up golf? 1177 01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,360 My mates seemed to be really enjoying it. 1178 01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,080 So I went round with them and I tried it. 1179 01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:50,800 And it was really, really h... it's hard. 1180 01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:52,040 -It's, like, honestly, it's really hard-- -I'm not interested. 1181 01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:53,120 And so then I've had lessons. 1182 01:09:53,160 --> 01:09:55,560 I was having quite an interesting... 1183 01:09:55,600 --> 01:09:57,560 thought process there about American cars 1184 01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:00,440 and now suddenly, my day's been ruined. 1185 01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:04,160 Somebody I've actually enjoyed working with for the last 15 years, 1186 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:06,720 it turns out, is weird. 1187 01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:14,040 [Richard] Fortunately, the conversation was interrupted at this point 1188 01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:17,400 because we had reached the extraordinary island 1189 01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:19,640 of North Uist. 1190 01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,800 We are on an Outer Hebrides. 1191 01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,320 So the next island along is where Mr. Wilman 1192 01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:50,840 has built his community for American car enthusiasts. 1193 01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:52,640 [Richard] I'm excited by this idea of a... 1194 01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:57,760 a place where we can go in our American cars and not be embarrassed. 1195 01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:00,640 It is like nudists. 1196 01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:02,280 They wanna run around with no clothes on, 1197 01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:04,880 but you can't do that where everybody else is wearing clothes. 1198 01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:06,680 You'd feel silly. 1199 01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:08,760 So they go amongst like-minded people 1200 01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:10,720 where everyone's doing the same. 1201 01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:15,600 Eventually, we reached the shoreline 1202 01:11:15,640 --> 01:11:17,880 on the far side of the island. 1203 01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:22,760 Ooh, I say, that's rather beautiful. Look at that. 1204 01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,280 [James] That is mighty pretty, isn't it? 1205 01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,640 What the bloody hell's that lot? 1206 01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:40,520 What is it? 1207 01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:43,000 [James] I'm wondering if it's some sort of temporary stage or seating. 1208 01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,760 It's plastic in the sea, is what it is. 1209 01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,120 -It is a lot of plastic. -I mean, look at it. 1210 01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:48,200 Well, maybe they re-use it when there's no COVID 1211 01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:49,800 -and they have folk music on the beach. -Guys? 1212 01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:51,160 -It's all washed up-- -What? 1213 01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:52,720 I had a text from Wilman. 1214 01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:55,960 Right, so, that 1215 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:58,760 is the island where he's built the community. 1216 01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,320 And I'm guessing that spiky thing 1217 01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:02,280 over there is part of it. Can you see that? 1218 01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:03,440 [Richard] What, over there? 1219 01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:05,040 -[Jeremy] Yeah. -[Richard] Wow. 1220 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:10,400 But to get to the island, we have to build a bridge out of that. 1221 01:12:10,440 --> 01:12:13,200 [James] Is it like a pontoony-type thing, do you think? 1222 01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:15,360 I'm just thinking they're full of air, so they look floaty. 1223 01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:17,160 Well, it's not gonna hold a car up, is it? 1224 01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,200 I don't know, maybe if you have enough of them, it would. 1225 01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:21,920 -[Richard] So those... -[Jeremy] So these ones 1226 01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:23,560 -are already joined together, look... -[Richard] Yeah, look, that's... 1227 01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,080 Yeah, that's... that's what these... Look, that's one of these. 1228 01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:26,440 [James] Yeah, they're screws. 1229 01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:27,800 [Richard] They screw together. 1230 01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,880 [Jeremy] That's my idea of hell. 1231 01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,960 [Richard] Oh, it's a giant construction set! 1232 01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:36,160 Jeremy, it's like your birthday and Christmas all at once! 1233 01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:38,040 So is that wider... I mean, how much wider 1234 01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:39,720 than the car does it need to be? 1235 01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:41,160 Out of how many of these we got. 1236 01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:43,760 And out... we've gotta go a long bloody way! 1237 01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,560 All the cars are six-foot-seven wide. 1238 01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:52,960 Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. 1239 01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:54,960 -Just under ten foot. -So your feet are foot? 1240 01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:57,120 Uh, I don't know. 1241 01:12:57,160 --> 01:12:59,440 [Jeremy] I, meanwhile, was more interested in 1242 01:12:59,480 --> 01:13:02,040 what this community would look like. 1243 01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:03,560 I'm guessing that... 1244 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,880 [Richard] It... 1245 01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:06,200 [Jeremy] No, I'm trying to think what there'll be. 1246 01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:08,040 There'll be a motel, 1247 01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:09,920 and in every room there'll be two beds 1248 01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:13,400 that are far too big, burgundy bedspreads. 1249 01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:15,960 There will be a sports bar with hundreds of screens 1250 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,640 all showing something slightly different but not very different. 1251 01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:20,400 [Richard] Everybody will talk to you in the lift. 1252 01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,200 -Elevator. I like that. -[Jeremy] Yes, they will... 1253 01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:23,480 [in American accent] "Good to know you." 1254 01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:24,560 That's what they say when you get out of a lift. 1255 01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:26,120 [Richard] Yeah, they say good morning... 1256 01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:27,840 You... you... how... You don't know me, you've just met me, 1257 01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:29,960 -"Good to meet you"? -I like that, you have a conversation. 1258 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:31,720 [Jeremy] But that's 'cause you're American. 1259 01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,960 [Jeremy] We got stuck into the work... 1260 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,920 [Richard] Captain Nurk, going in. 1261 01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:46,440 That must be the doer-upperer. 1262 01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:52,840 [Jeremy] ...pausing only for James and I to have an argument. 1263 01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:55,880 That isn't going to work. 1264 01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:58,200 It is. I've done a calculation, roughly. 1265 01:13:58,240 --> 01:14:01,400 Maths, James, has no bearing on the sea. 1266 01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,400 -Of course it does. -Do you think it'll work? 1267 01:14:03,440 --> 01:14:05,360 -No. Not really. -[laughs] 1268 01:14:16,280 --> 01:14:17,360 [Jeremy] Going down. 1269 01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:19,040 Going down. 1270 01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:24,080 [Jeremy] Oh, God. Right, that is secured. 1271 01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:25,240 [Richard] Good. 1272 01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:26,480 [Jeremy] You pissed in your own Wellingtons. 1273 01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:27,560 Yes. 1274 01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,320 This is very manly, this, isn't it? 1275 01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:30,440 -[Jeremy] This? -[Richard] Yeah. 1276 01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:31,720 [Jeremy] I know. 1277 01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:44,040 [Jeremy] On the third morning of our endeavors, 1278 01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:48,720 we'd reached the point where we needed to borrow a boat from a local. 1279 01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:51,160 [indistinct mumbling] 1280 01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,720 Okay, here's the situation. Um, we've built this bit here. 1281 01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:56,840 Hammond is going to bring the boat around here. 1282 01:14:56,880 --> 01:15:00,800 And we're now going to tow it to the end of what we've already built 1283 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:03,080 where we can attach our new section. 1284 01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:08,120 [Jeremy] It was a simple plan, but then it turned out 1285 01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:11,720 that Hammond had never used an outboard motor. 1286 01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:15,840 Uh... uh... 1287 01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:17,120 Pull the cord. 1288 01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:18,480 Where's the cord? Oh. 1289 01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:20,200 It's in the top of the en... There. 1290 01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:21,360 -Pull it... -I got it. 1291 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,560 It works! 1292 01:15:26,600 --> 01:15:28,200 How do I make it move? 1293 01:15:28,240 --> 01:15:31,320 Twist the thing... There you go! 1294 01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:35,000 HMS Hammond is underway. 1295 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,280 Argh! 1296 01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:41,360 In your own time. Quick as you like. 1297 01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:47,920 Are you ready? 1298 01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:50,360 Job one, tie on. 1299 01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,320 Right, perfect. 1300 01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:56,080 Now, pull me along. 1301 01:15:56,560 --> 01:15:57,960 Go, go. Power. 1302 01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,320 [Jeremy laughs] 1303 01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:06,560 Oh, give me strength. 1304 01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,200 You pulled the bloody fishing-rod holder off... 1305 01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:10,760 [Richard] I didn't tie it to the fishing rod. 1306 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,440 Why did you tie it to the fishing... 1307 01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:15,400 [Jeremy] I didn't tie it to the fishing rod, you blithering idiot. 1308 01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:18,280 Right, are you ready? We're setting off. 1309 01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:30,080 Ooh-ho! 1310 01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:32,120 [Jeremy] Hammond's gone upside down again. 1311 01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:38,000 [laughs] 1312 01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:41,600 [James] What the f... Oh, jeez. How has he done-- 1313 01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:45,040 [Jeremy laughing] 1314 01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:48,640 [Richard shouting indistinctly] 1315 01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,680 [Jeremy] I'll pull you in. 1316 01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:57,720 [Jeremy] Weirdly, none of the other locals 1317 01:16:57,760 --> 01:16:59,840 would lend us a boat after that. 1318 01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:06,520 So, we had to drag the new section into place by hand. 1319 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:11,440 Look at this, I'm moving 100 meters of bridge 1320 01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:14,520 all by myself. 1321 01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:17,000 -Water's really slippery, isn't it? -Yeah. 1322 01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:20,440 Ready? Look at that for docking. 1323 01:17:20,480 --> 01:17:22,200 There you go. 1324 01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:25,760 [Jeremy] Work continued for the rest of the day... 1325 01:17:33,360 --> 01:17:36,200 Ugh. Now, I need to pull this corner in, don't we? 1326 01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:40,160 No, there's... 1327 01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:42,720 [Jeremy] ...until, by late afternoon, 1328 01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:46,120 our arrow-straight bridge was finished. 1329 01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:06,200 And since James was the only one of us who thought it would work, 1330 01:18:06,240 --> 01:18:09,960 Hammond and I decided he should go first. 1331 01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:13,520 [engine revving] 1332 01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:16,400 Ts and Ps good. 1333 01:18:16,440 --> 01:18:18,000 What is the chance 1334 01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:19,040 -of him making it... -Minimal, I'd say. 1335 01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:20,720 ...across there? Negligible. 1336 01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:32,080 [James whimpers] 1337 01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:35,320 Oh, my God, the road is floating in front of me. 1338 01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:39,800 [Richard] Oh, my God, look how it moves! 1339 01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:43,160 [Jeremy] It's actually sinking as he drives along. 1340 01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:50,000 Jeez. That is weird. 1341 01:18:53,080 --> 01:18:58,520 All right, chaps, I'm not gonna lie to you, this feels a bit perilous. 1342 01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:00,000 That's 30-feet of water he's driving... 1343 01:19:00,040 --> 01:19:01,120 -In a Cadillac. -...over. 1344 01:19:04,840 --> 01:19:06,560 I know it's deep. It was deep enough 1345 01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:07,680 -to swallow my boat. -It was. 1346 01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:11,000 [thud] 1347 01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:12,960 [James] Shit. 1348 01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,600 I think my exhaust may be dragging on the floor. 1349 01:19:18,320 --> 01:19:19,320 Agh! 1350 01:19:22,200 --> 01:19:25,320 Now I'm crashing into my own bridge. 1351 01:19:34,080 --> 01:19:35,360 -Oh, I think his ex... -Oh. 1352 01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:37,760 I think he's grounding out where it dips. 1353 01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:39,400 [engine revs] 1354 01:19:41,120 --> 01:19:42,560 Oh, this is hilarious. 1355 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,600 I don't think you'll be able to see this, viewers, 1356 01:19:53,640 --> 01:19:56,240 but on that side of the car, the wheels have collapsed, 1357 01:19:56,280 --> 01:19:58,880 each of them, one of these elements. 1358 01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:00,640 So I'm now against chocks. 1359 01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:02,360 And the... the other side of that 1360 01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:04,640 is that the exhaust is now down on the ground 1361 01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:07,000 and the end of the exhaust is wedged in one of the joins. 1362 01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:09,720 So it's completely stuck. 1363 01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:12,000 There is a solution, but I don't know you'll be prepared to do it. 1364 01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:13,080 What is it? 1365 01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:15,640 Well, you go and help him out. 1366 01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:19,320 That would mean four tons of American land yacht 1367 01:20:19,360 --> 01:20:21,280 on the same bit of plastic in the ocean. 1368 01:20:21,320 --> 01:20:22,640 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1369 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:25,760 [Jeremy] But since James was now 1370 01:20:25,800 --> 01:20:31,400 a huge burgundy obstacle to our success, there was nothing for it. 1371 01:20:40,680 --> 01:20:41,960 Power, increase speed. 1372 01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,800 Oh, shit. The back of the car's dipping. 1373 01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:52,960 God, I'm completely... I'm arse down. I can hardly see a thing. 1374 01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,080 I can see Thunderbird II approaching. 1375 01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:03,000 Air... 1376 01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:05,240 [hisses] 1377 01:21:05,280 --> 01:21:06,320 Working. 1378 01:21:08,320 --> 01:21:10,840 You're gonna have to give me a fairly hefty shove and keep going. 1379 01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:14,840 Right, James May, here I come. 1380 01:21:15,640 --> 01:21:16,720 [thuds] 1381 01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:19,880 [engine revving] 1382 01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:28,920 That didn't work. Let's try something else. 1383 01:21:29,720 --> 01:21:31,320 I'm gonna back up, yes? 1384 01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:35,960 And then I'll create a wash. 1385 01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,040 Yes? 1386 01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:41,920 When the wash lifts the back of your car up, hoof it. 1387 01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:45,320 Here it comes, here it comes. 1388 01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:56,840 -[engine revving] -[Jeremy] Go, go, go. 1389 01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:01,600 [James] Bollocks and arse. 1390 01:22:01,640 --> 01:22:04,000 Hammond, could you come and offer some assistance here? 1391 01:22:08,120 --> 01:22:09,840 Right, I think I'm on. 1392 01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:17,920 I'd like to be able to see a bit more than I can see now. 1393 01:22:25,120 --> 01:22:28,120 Ah! Oh, God. 1394 01:22:30,120 --> 01:22:32,600 I do not wanna go in that water again. 1395 01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:37,880 [Jeremy] Amazingly, the world's most accident-prone driver 1396 01:22:37,920 --> 01:22:39,960 made it without incident. 1397 01:22:41,320 --> 01:22:44,480 [Richard] Jeremy, I'm here now. Can I help? 1398 01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:47,200 [Jeremy] Hammond, I've had a brilliant idea. 1399 01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,000 [Richard] Go on. 1400 01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:51,600 If we both drove at him at high speed 1401 01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:54,160 and then braked to create the wash, 1402 01:22:54,200 --> 01:22:56,760 that might be enough to lift him up and on. 1403 01:22:56,800 --> 01:22:58,760 Or double the stresses and break the bridge. 1404 01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:01,040 But it's our only shot, isn't it? 1405 01:23:01,080 --> 01:23:03,280 Okay, I'm up for it. You tell me when. 1406 01:23:03,320 --> 01:23:07,360 Okay, this is really... This requires precision driving. 1407 01:23:08,760 --> 01:23:10,240 [James] I am ready. 1408 01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:12,720 Hammond, are you ready? 1409 01:23:12,760 --> 01:23:14,080 [Richard] I am ready. 1410 01:23:14,720 --> 01:23:15,920 [engine starts] 1411 01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:18,840 [engine starts] 1412 01:23:19,640 --> 01:23:20,920 [engine sputters] 1413 01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:24,920 My car won't start. 1414 01:23:26,560 --> 01:23:28,080 Oh, God. 1415 01:23:30,160 --> 01:23:31,240 What? 1416 01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:38,680 Sit rep, I am the meat in an incompetent sandwich. 1417 01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:42,680 [engine starts] 1418 01:23:42,720 --> 01:23:45,000 It's all right, it's started. 1419 01:23:45,040 --> 01:23:49,040 [Jeremy] Right, gentlemen, we are ready back here. 1420 01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:56,440 In three, two, one... now. 1421 01:24:10,640 --> 01:24:13,080 Braking... now! 1422 01:24:14,520 --> 01:24:16,280 Go, go, go. 1423 01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:21,000 [Richard] Yes! 1424 01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:23,360 [Jeremy] It worked. It bloody worked. 1425 01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:25,880 [whooping] 1426 01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:29,280 [James] Very good. Thank you. 1427 01:24:39,640 --> 01:24:44,280 [Richard] Oh, I say! My people have recognized me! 1428 01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:45,760 [Jeremy] I think Mr. Wilman's done that. 1429 01:24:45,800 --> 01:24:47,120 [Richard] Yeah, he has. 1430 01:24:48,680 --> 01:24:51,040 I can't wait to see our commune. 1431 01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:57,560 What we're looking for is an American-style town, I imagine. 1432 01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:05,160 That's like Oklahoma. Look at that. 1433 01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:06,840 Cows. 1434 01:25:08,480 --> 01:25:11,800 That's a remarkable journey, all the way across Scotland, 1435 01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:15,240 all the way across Skye, all the way across... 1436 01:25:15,280 --> 01:25:16,520 [James] I'm gonna have to stop. 1437 01:25:16,560 --> 01:25:18,840 I've got the warning lights on and everything. 1438 01:25:18,880 --> 01:25:21,400 Something's going wrong. My car smell... 1439 01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:23,960 [Jeremy] James, we're literally-- 1440 01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:25,640 [James] No, I know, but I don't want to fail 1441 01:25:25,680 --> 01:25:27,960 100 yards from our commune. 1442 01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:31,200 I want to arrive in glory. So just give me a few minutes. 1443 01:25:33,240 --> 01:25:36,600 [Jeremy] How's he managed to break it on the last 100 yards? 1444 01:25:36,640 --> 01:25:38,920 What a blithering idiot he is. 1445 01:25:38,960 --> 01:25:40,480 I can't open the hood. 1446 01:25:40,520 --> 01:25:41,840 [blows raspberries] 1447 01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:44,680 [Jeremy] Um, Hammond, I've had an idea. 1448 01:25:44,720 --> 01:25:46,640 There's literally nothing we can do to help him 1449 01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:49,560 so let's go and have a look at that spiky building over there. 1450 01:25:50,440 --> 01:25:51,400 Glad to. 1451 01:25:52,440 --> 01:25:53,880 Onwards. 1452 01:25:53,920 --> 01:25:55,720 [engine sputters] 1453 01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:59,120 Oh, God, you're joking. It can't be. 1454 01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:01,080 [Richard] Uh, it won't start. 1455 01:26:01,120 --> 01:26:02,960 So both of them have broken down. 1456 01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:05,320 One hundred yards from the finish line. 1457 01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:08,000 Right, well, um, let's think. 1458 01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:09,400 Mine will. 1459 01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:13,080 And has. There it is. 1460 01:26:19,400 --> 01:26:21,200 After a short drive, 1461 01:26:23,160 --> 01:26:25,560 I arrived at our commune. 1462 01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:34,760 Crikey. Mr. Wilman's been busy. 1463 01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:44,080 Look at that! 1464 01:26:46,200 --> 01:26:48,280 Laser Quest. Multiplex. 1465 01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,200 Look at this, a sports bar! 1466 01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:01,800 And 5G on my mobile. How's that possible? 1467 01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:04,920 Weird. 1468 01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:13,760 Is that an MG? 1469 01:27:15,560 --> 01:27:17,080 What's that doing here? 1470 01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:27,560 Evening, barman. I'll have three pints of Budweiser with cheese, please. 1471 01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:33,760 Eventually, I was joined by my colleagues. 1472 01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:37,240 -Gentlemen! Gentlemen! -Ooh! 1473 01:27:37,280 --> 01:27:40,640 -Your beers await. -Aah! Ho-ho! And there it is! 1474 01:27:40,680 --> 01:27:42,960 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Pause. Just savor the moment. 1475 01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,440 Yeah, I know what you mean. 1476 01:27:44,480 --> 01:27:46,880 Budweiser! There you are! 1477 01:27:46,920 --> 01:27:50,160 Do you know, they only had Tsingtao? 1478 01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:51,360 -Really? -Yeah. 1479 01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:52,600 Well, MGD? 1480 01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:55,400 No, only Tsingtao. 1481 01:27:55,440 --> 01:27:57,120 Anyway, look, let's get something to eat. 1482 01:27:57,160 --> 01:27:58,680 [Richard] Yes, food. 1483 01:27:58,720 --> 01:28:00,680 Food, in this. Look, I'm in st... 1484 01:28:00,720 --> 01:28:03,160 I... I can't believe Mr. Wilman's made this. 1485 01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:04,920 I've totally come... I've totally come home. 1486 01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:07,200 My Buick Riviera is parked outside 1487 01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:08,720 -and I'm in here! -Yeah, I know! 1488 01:28:08,760 --> 01:28:10,920 -Everything is good! -It's staggering, isn't it? 1489 01:28:10,960 --> 01:28:12,800 And I fancy... 1490 01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:15,880 surf and turf? No, wait... 1491 01:28:15,920 --> 01:28:18,960 [in American accent] Monterey Jack. I want some Monterey Jack. 1492 01:28:28,480 --> 01:28:30,560 [Jeremy] What? 1493 01:28:30,600 --> 01:28:35,120 [Richard] Chaps, um, it's not... It's not just the menu. 1494 01:28:35,160 --> 01:28:37,480 Nothing in here feels quite right. 1495 01:28:39,600 --> 01:28:40,960 That is weird. 1496 01:28:52,200 --> 01:28:56,120 Do you know, this place has only been open, what, a week? 1497 01:28:56,160 --> 01:29:00,240 And already, every single thing in here 1498 01:29:01,560 --> 01:29:02,960 is Chinese. 1499 01:29:08,680 --> 01:29:11,960 And on that terrible disappointment it's time to end. 1500 01:29:12,000 --> 01:29:13,400 We will be back. 1501 01:29:13,440 --> 01:29:16,120 We don't know where, we don't know when, but we will. 1502 01:29:16,160 --> 01:29:18,520 And we will see you then. Thank you so much for watching. 1503 01:29:18,560 --> 01:29:19,560 Goodbye. 1504 01:29:22,840 --> 01:29:24,840 [theme music playing]