1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,800 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,800 [playful orchestration] 3 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,880 Hello and welcome to our last-ever Grand Tour. 4 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,920 Because this is the last time that James, Richard and I will ever work together, 5 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:15,200 Mr Wilman said we should do something important. 6 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,360 He said we should each buy a medium-sized electric car 7 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,400 and then see how many laps of the M25 we could do in it 8 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,320 on one charge. 9 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,840 And we decided to ignore him and come here. 10 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,479 [majestic music] 11 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,080 [Richard] Yep. 12 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,120 So, welcome, everyone, to Zimbabwe. 13 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,240 [music continues] 14 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,320 And we won't be driving crummy electric cars either. 15 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,680 Instead, the three of us decided that we would simply buy 16 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,479 things we've always wanted. 17 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,400 And that's why I bought this. 18 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,240 It's a Triumph Stag. 19 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,560 [music continues] 20 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,320 [music stops] 21 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,800 I've always loved the Stag. I've loved it since I was a small boy. 22 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,600 But I never actually thought I'd own one. 23 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,920 To be honest, I didn't think I was allowed to own one. 24 00:02:46,079 --> 00:02:49,520 Only people like David Niven could own a Stag. 25 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,920 I'd never even driven one, in accordance with the rule 26 00:02:52,079 --> 00:02:54,120 that you should never meet your hero. 27 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:57,079 But now I have, I'm delighted to say, 28 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,320 it's absolutely lovely. 29 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,000 [60s upbeat music] 30 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:02,360 Oh yeah. 31 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,120 [James] At this point, Lewis Collins arrived. 32 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,360 [Richard laughing] Oh yeah! 33 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:13,680 Yep. 34 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,880 I am now the proud owner of a three-litre Mark One Ford Capri. 35 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:20,800 Is it a GT? 36 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,520 No, GXL. 37 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,800 -Why didn't you get a GT? -'Cause this is better. 38 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:26,240 Not really. 39 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,480 [Richard] Before I had a chance to argue, Clarkson arrived, 40 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,760 having already made a mistake. 41 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,760 [Italian music] 42 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,520 [laughing] 43 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:41,880 What do you think of that? 44 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,040 Why have you bought a Lancia? 45 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,200 [Jeremy] Because! 46 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,640 Twenty or so years ago, I used one to drive across Botswana, 47 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,480 and proved it was the ideal car for Africa. 48 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,960 But it broke down all the time. 49 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,800 Yes, it did. 50 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,320 But, that was front-engined. 51 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,200 This, mid-engined. It's a Montecarlo. 52 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,320 And I've made several modifications to suit the conditions. 53 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,360 Let me talk you through them, if I may. 54 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,640 At the back here, 55 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,360 308 Ferrari tail lights. 56 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,840 [Richard] They look good. 57 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,720 -[Jeremy] Quad tail pipes. -[Richard] Nice. 58 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,079 Delta Integrale wheels. 59 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,360 Delta Integrale headlamps and grill. 60 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,200 And then, Lotus Blue paintwork. 61 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,760 Wow. Does any of that make it more reliable? 62 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,480 And you know we've been doing this for... 63 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,640 112 years. 64 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,320 Yeah, 112 years. I've learned a few lessons. 65 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,600 So, inside, 66 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:40,200 I have replaced the leather seats, which get hot, with cloth seats. 67 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,480 [Richard] Yes. 68 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,040 [Jeremy] And a sort of Alcantara racing steering wheel. 69 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,120 And, if you look down there, 70 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,120 I've removed the glove box and replaced it with... 71 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,920 -[Richard] Is that a fridge? -[Jeremy] Yes. 72 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,640 For my cold beverages. For my zesty drink fridge. 73 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,240 -[James] Wow. -[Richard] That is actually quite good. 74 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,640 [James] Does any of that make it more reliable? 75 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,200 No, but I'll be more comfortable. 76 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,360 You will have a cold drink whilst you wait at the side of the road. 77 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,600 It makes the many breakdowns more bearable. 78 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,360 -[James] No, it's pretty. -[Jeremy] It is absolutely breathtaking. 79 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,360 [James] It's beautiful. 80 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,360 I've modified my Capri too, before shipping it here. 81 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,920 -[Jeremy] Have you? -[Richard] I've painted the bonnet black. 82 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,320 Because, look at it, it's beautiful. 83 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,880 -Is it a GT? -No, GXL. 84 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,720 -Why didn't you get a GT? -[Richard] 'Cause this is better. 85 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,720 -It isn't. -[Richard] Well, it is. It's like a GT, 86 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,000 which is good, but with more, which is better. 87 00:05:32,159 --> 00:05:33,920 -[Jeremy] Mm-hmm. -What? 88 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,560 [Jeremy] I remember that from the GXL 89 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,320 'cause they had put the wood-look dashboard in it. 90 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:39,800 [James] Correct. 91 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,159 -We've discussed this in the past. -We have. 92 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,680 The GT is for sport, the GXL is for meetings. 93 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,880 This is exactly right. You need to understand your Ford-badge hierarchy. 94 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,200 My dad had a GXL Cortina because he was a managing director. 95 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,200 My dad had a GXL Cortina. 96 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,280 -Both of your... -[James] Manager? 97 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,600 -[Jeremy] Yeah. -Both of your dads, powerful, 98 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,720 influential men who picked from the very top of the tree. 99 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:58,880 -And you know... -[Jeremy laughing] 100 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,200 You know how it's almost become a running joke, 101 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:02,920 my stereo has never worked... 102 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:03,920 [Jeremy] Yeah. 103 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,680 [Richard] On any one of these trips we've done. Well, this time, it does. 104 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,840 ["Mark One Ford Capri" by The Deads playing] 105 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,880 [Richard] Bear with. Wait for the lyrics. 106 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,680 I used to be a DJ, I can do this. Here they come. Now. 107 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,200 ♪ Mark One Ford Capri ♪ 108 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,840 "Mark One Ford Capri." Voilà. 109 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,040 ♪ It's got everything I need ♪ 110 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,160 "Got everything I need." Which it has because it's a GXL. 111 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,440 -I do like a Capri. -[Richard] You've got to, it's the law. 112 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,040 Everybody likes a Capri. 113 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,600 -Modifications, James, to your Stag? -None. 114 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,400 -[Jeremy and Richard] What? -None whatsoever. 115 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,520 -[James] Why would you? -Wait a minute. 116 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,960 You're not telling me it's still got the original engine? 117 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:40,920 [James] It has. 118 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,040 Mr Clarkson raises a good point there! 119 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,600 It's not every single Stag, 120 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:50,000 but most Stags, I would guess, have had the original engine taken out 121 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,400 and the Rover V8 put in. 122 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:53,720 -[James] Yes. -Which is more reliable. 123 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,159 Yeah. The original Triumph Stag V8 is incredible 124 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,720 because it's found so many ways of overheating 125 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,920 and destroying itself, 'cause it's not just one. 126 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,120 Casting sand left in the blocks fills the galleyways and then, bang, overheats. 127 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:11,080 They overbored it. They bored it out which made all the waterways smaller. 128 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,760 -So it overheats and goes back. -Yeah. That's two ways. 129 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,040 The clever thing is, two banks of cylinders. 130 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,000 -[Jeremy] Yeah. -V8. 131 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,880 They only put a temperature sender on one bank. 132 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,840 So at least you don't know when it's overheating. 133 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,040 So if the other bank overheated, the first you'd know of it was the bang. 134 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,360 -If you're on an aeroplane. -Yeah. 135 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,800 Being piloted directly at some mountains. 136 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,720 -[Richard] Would you want to know? -Actually, probably not. 137 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,920 [Richard] Why would you wanna know? 138 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,960 You're having your gin and tonic, watching a movie, having a nice time... 139 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,520 Boom. Nothing... 140 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:41,640 I don't wanna raise that submarine, 'cause that's sick. They didn't know! 141 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,440 At least it's the last programme we'll ever do! 142 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,280 -Well, I mean... -We don't give a [bleeped] anymore! 143 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,720 How much solace did we take from the fact that they didn't know? 144 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,960 It was, "Oh, we're having a nice time under the sea..." Boom. 145 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:50,920 Yeah, exactly. 146 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,880 You can write, call us, by all means, to complain. 147 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,200 But you'll get a recorded message saying: 148 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,640 "We are not interested in your call." 149 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,120 Or simply dial 0800 Bugger Off. 150 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,240 [Richard] "We're not here anymore!" 151 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,440 We're not even there! 152 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,080 [Jeremy] We can say whatever we want. 153 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,080 How do you open the bonnet on this? 154 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,280 -[James] Round this side. -Look at the wear on that handle. 155 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,240 [laughing] 156 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,520 It's worn the badge off with the picture of a bonnet over it. 157 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:13,800 [Jeremy laughing] 158 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,960 -Pull it from the middle. -Shit, it is the original Triumph engine. 159 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,880 [Richard whispering] That's a rarity. 160 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,560 Ladies and gentlemen, come and look. It's the last time you're gonna see that. 161 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,160 Original but still shit. 162 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,000 -[phone chiming] -[Jeremy] Oh wait, a text. 163 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,480 -Oh, Mr Wilman. -[James] Oh. 164 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,760 Oh, Lord. 165 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,720 [chuckling] 166 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:41,159 "Now that you've charged your electric cars, report to South Mimms Services." 167 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,520 [laughing] 168 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:43,760 He doesn't know we're here. 169 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,040 He doesn't, no, he doesn't! 170 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,120 And it doesn't matter anyway, because, actually, 171 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,200 we've already worked out a challenge on our own. 172 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,640 We are currently on the far eastern side of Zimbabwe, 173 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:02,280 and we're gonna travel 1,200 miles to the far western side. 174 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,080 And that's it. 175 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:05,840 That's it! 176 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,480 -Just one thing still concerns me. -What? 177 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,040 [Richard] Mountains? All that. 178 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,640 [Jeremy] Well, I'm not worried because, let's not forget, 179 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,120 this spawned the 037 Lancia, 180 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,120 which was the last two-wheel-drive car to win the World Rally Championship, 181 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,600 beating the Audi Quattro. 182 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,440 There wasn't a lot of that in it, was there? 183 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:23,760 Well... 184 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,640 What they actually did was they said we can make this the basis 185 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,880 of a fantastic rally car with a few modifications, 186 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,640 and they cut the badge off there, 187 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,000 and then everything from there backwards was new. 188 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:39,320 [Jeremy] With no further ado, we fired up our fifty-year-old sports cars 189 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,960 and set off to cross the rugged heart of Africa. 190 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,200 ["Bargain" by The Who playing] 191 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,640 So, for the last time... 192 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:00,960 here we go. 193 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,880 [music continues] 194 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:32,840 [Richard] This is the perfect car for me to take on this trip. 195 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,440 My first car was nearly a Capri. 196 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,960 It was advertised in the local paper. 197 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,640 I kept the picture of it next to the till 198 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,120 in the petrol station where I worked in Ripon. 199 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,040 I was just coming on 18. 200 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,600 It was gonna be my first car. My parents were buying it for me. 201 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,640 But when we inspected it, 202 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,720 it turned out to have been stolen. 203 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,280 So I got an old 1976 Toyota Corolla instead. 204 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:01,000 For a trip like this, this car is perfect. It's light. 205 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,720 It's just a shade over a metric ton. 206 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,720 Plenty of grunt and power. 207 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,120 [engine rumbling] 208 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,360 Three-litre Essex V6 up front. Rear-wheel drive. 209 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,280 Brakes. Pft... That's it! 210 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,560 I love that the rev counter says 1,000, 2,000, 3,000. 211 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,960 It doesn't work, but if it did, you'd see it indicated in thousands. 212 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,640 'Cause that sounds better. 213 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,400 [upbeat music] 214 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:43,040 Back in the 80s, I never used to drive into Central London on the M4 motorway. 215 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:47,600 I always used the old Great West Road instead, 216 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,640 because on the Great West Road, 217 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,960 there was a car dealership called the Chequered Flag 218 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:56,640 and sometimes in the window, they'd have a Montecarlo. 219 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:02,000 And if there was one, I'd pull over and stare at it, 220 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,520 for hours, dreaming. 221 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,760 And now I'm in one. 222 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,120 And it's mine. 223 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,280 It's mine! 224 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,320 [children cheering] 225 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,640 [soft music] 226 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,720 [James] As for me, I had just one thing to say. 227 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,200 Triumph Stag. 228 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,440 Holy Moly, look at that view! 229 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,400 [Jeremy] I don't know what it is but something 230 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,640 is making we want a cup of tea. 231 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,560 [engine rumbling] 232 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:53,440 [Richard] What-- 233 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,000 What's that about? 234 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,000 Oh, you're joking. 235 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,880 [Richard over radio] Chaps? No other way to put this, I'm breaking down. 236 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,360 I'm sorry? 237 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,320 -[Richard over radio] Oh. -[James] Well, this is exciting. 238 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,040 [ignition failing] 239 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,880 It's extraordinary because the Capri has the same number of moving parts 240 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,840 as this bottle of water. 241 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,040 How can you possibly break down in a Capri? 242 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,160 [ignition failing] 243 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,600 -[Jeremy] Oh, I know what that is. -What? 244 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,840 The engine's not working. 245 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,240 -I think it's the engine as well. -Yeah. 246 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,640 -[James] And we're experts. -Mine was the first bonnet to go up. 247 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,200 -What would we do in this situation? -[Jeremy] Well, let's think. 248 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,680 [James] What would we normally do? 249 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:36,760 [Richard groaning] 250 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:37,720 Lean on the car. 251 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,040 -That's very hot. -[Jeremy] Just for once. 252 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,840 Shall we change the habit of a lifetime? 253 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,080 -Yeah. -[Jeremy] And help him. 254 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,080 [Richard] Yes, for once. 255 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:45,840 I'm gonna say... no. 256 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,440 [James honking] Bye! 257 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,600 Still a bastard, after all these years. 258 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,480 [children cheering] 259 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:03,560 Right, 15 miles we've done, and we're down to two men. 260 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,960 [Jeremy] Oh! One thing. 261 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,440 It's not just the Ford that has its own music. 262 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,040 This does as well. 263 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,840 Time, I think, to treat myself to a little bit of Struggle Jennings 264 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,120 and "Monte Carlo". Here we go. 265 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,680 ["Monte Carlo" by Struggle Jennings playing] 266 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,440 ♪ Some young souls on a lonely road ♪ 267 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:29,280 ♪ Had no fathers to follow ♪ 268 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,680 ♪ Monte Carlo ♪ 269 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,440 ♪ Monte Carlo ♪ 270 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,200 [Jeremy] A few miles later, though, 271 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,600 a new instrument joined in with the rhythm section, 272 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,040 and it wasn't very rhythmical. 273 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,840 [engine rumbling] 274 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,480 A little misfire there. 275 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,120 Misfire. 276 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,720 [engine purring and rattling] 277 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,280 Misfire. Misfire. Cows. 278 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,200 [chuckling] 279 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,240 This is just shit. 280 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,840 [James over radio] There's a big puff of smoke coming from your car now. 281 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,760 [Jeremy] Oh, Christ Almighty. 282 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:20,880 Yeah... 283 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,800 Smoke, fire. 284 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,640 [James] It's the engine. 285 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,680 Yeah. Hmm... 286 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,640 Yeah. 287 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,440 I'd love to help, but I don't know much 288 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:37,120 about the Italian Twin-Cam engines, and mine is working perfectly. 289 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,960 [Jeremy] If you break down who's gonna leave you behind? 290 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,520 Well, that's my biggest worry. I'll have to leave myself behind. 291 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,840 [engine starting] 292 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,480 [James honking] 293 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,080 [James] Temperatures and pressures good. 294 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:04,480 Only one car is still going, a full 32 miles into the journey. 295 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,840 Stag. 296 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:08,720 [tool cranking] 297 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,320 [Richard] Several miles back, 298 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,960 I'd managed to work out that the Capri's issue was the fuel pump. 299 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,320 [Richard] Slight problem here. 300 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,720 I've never seen inside one of these when it is working 301 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,320 to know how it should look and how it should compare with when it isn't. 302 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,440 [honking] 303 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,920 [men speaking indistinctly] 304 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,640 [Jeremy] Meanwhile, I had deployed my genius 305 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:39,000 and already worked out how to solve the Lancia's problem. 306 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,640 [Jeremy] This thing on the end was loose. 307 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,440 If I tighten that up, 308 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,480 that'll spark properly and the misfire will go away, 309 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,760 and the unburnt fuel will stop getting into the exhaust pipe 310 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,600 and catching fire and setting fire to my Lancia. 311 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,440 [engine starting] 312 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,080 [engine purring and rattling] 313 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,000 A ticking sound. What's that ticking? 314 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,079 -[electric shock] -Ow! [bleeped] 315 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,880 [Jeremy] As I am used to being electrocuted these days, 316 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,440 I used my genius again, 317 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,000 replaced the HT leads... 318 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,480 [rock music] 319 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,079 And soon, I was underway. 320 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,640 Oh! She purrs like a kitten. 321 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:32,760 Oh yes. 322 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,320 [music continues] 323 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:43,520 [Jeremy] I set off in pursuit of James, not sure which was more surprising, 324 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,960 the quality of the road or the endlessly changing scenery. 325 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,000 These are pine trees! 326 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,520 In Africa. 327 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,560 We were literally on a tea plantation 328 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,920 and now there are pine trees. 329 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,200 If someone beamed me into there and said, 330 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,680 "Where are you in the world?" you'd say Scotland. 331 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,560 [Jeremy] By the time I caught up with James... 332 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,320 [Jeremy over radio] James May! 333 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,000 [Jeremy] He was in the foothills of the mountains, 334 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:25,320 where the lovely road soon became a dirt track. 335 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,920 Well, I knew that was too good to last. 336 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,520 [James] Dust, dust. 337 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:34,880 Agh! 338 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,040 [Jeremy] My mouth is filling with dust. 339 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,560 [Jeremy] But then I remembered that for the first time ever, 340 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,560 we were in control of our destiny. 341 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,320 Stop. Stop whenever we want. Mr Wilman's not here. Brilliant. 342 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,280 No point driving beyond... Well, it's four o'clock now. 343 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,560 [Jeremy] A few miles later, we saw a sign to some lodgings, 344 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,720 dropped Hammond a pin, 345 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,440 and decided to knock off for the day. 346 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,800 I don't imagine this'll be the best hotel in the world. 347 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,080 I mean, we are in the middle of Zimbabwe, 348 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,200 in the middle of a forest on top of a mountain. 349 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,560 But, you know... 350 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,200 [Jeremy] Thankfully, I was wrong. 351 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,160 Very wrong. 352 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,960 [soft music] 353 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,280 [Jeremy] It's even a perfect temperature, isn't it? 354 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,480 [James] Hmm... 355 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,320 -[Jeremy] It's pretty special, isn't it? -[James] It's not bad. 356 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,480 [Jeremy] You see those mountains there, the far ones? They're Mozambique. 357 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,920 There was always a reason why we couldn't come to Zimbabwe. 358 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,800 All those years we were at the BBC, 359 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,880 you couldn't come here because the BBC was banned. 360 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,080 Yeah. 361 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,680 'Cause if you think about today, we got up in a very agreeable place. 362 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,080 -[James] Mm-hmm. -Drove on a very agreeable road. 363 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,520 -Yep. -[Jeremy] To a very agreeable hotel. 364 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,800 It's better than Mr Wilman's idea, isn't it? 365 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,320 Why have we listened to him all these years? 366 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:01,480 [James] I don't know. 367 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,320 Although he will argue that, without his presence, 368 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,240 two of the cars went wrong within the first 25 miles. 369 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,560 [Jeremy] That, then, got us nattering about our cars' stats. 370 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,040 I was quite surprised how much we paid. 371 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,080 You paid, James May, as I'm sure you know, 26,500 pounds. 372 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,320 I did. 373 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:25,320 Richard Hammond, for his GXL, the wrong Capri, 25,000 pounds. 374 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,560 -Really? -[Jeremy] 25 for a GXL. 375 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:28,920 For a knackered Capri? 376 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,440 -Montecarlo. -Mm-hmm? 377 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,560 79,050. 378 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,320 -Bargain. -[Jeremy] That is a bargain. 379 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,440 Ours are 0 to 60, in give or take nine seconds. 380 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,400 Hammond's, give or take eight seconds. 381 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,880 -Well, not at the moment. -[Jeremy] No. 382 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,760 [Richard] Happily, I was now on the move. 383 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,560 But on the dirt road, I was starting to worry 384 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,280 that the Capri hadn't been the wisest choice. 385 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,000 ♪ Mark One for Capri ♪ 386 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,040 [Richard] Ah! 387 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,800 That was a bit groundy-outy. 388 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,280 [Richard] With hindsight, 389 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,400 I should have gone for something with better ground clearance 390 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:12,920 than a 1974 three-litre Ford Capri Mark One GXL. 391 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,240 And that would include pretty much anything, as it turns out. 392 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,800 I think it's time for me to just clear the windscreen a bit. 393 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,400 [windscreen wipers screeching] 394 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,240 Oh. Oh no, that... Oh. 395 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,200 Ow! 396 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,920 [loud thud] 397 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,960 -[engine rumbling] -Oh. 398 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,720 Er, I've just removed my exhaust. 399 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,760 And there is literally nothing I can do about that right now. 400 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,960 [bird chirping] 401 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,920 [Richard] Predictably, when I finally arrived, 402 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,920 my colleagues were brimming with sympathy. 403 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,720 We stopped work at four o'clock. 404 00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,120 -Did you? -[James and Jeremy] Yes. 405 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,720 In the sunshine, at four o'clock. It was quite warm then. Less so now. 406 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,320 -We've had eight of these. -Yeah. Can I have one of those? 407 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,680 -[Jeremy] They've just run out. -[Richard laughing] Have they? 408 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:08,840 -[Jermey] It's incredible. -[Richard] Right. 409 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,680 [James] He's gone to the shops. Unfortunately, they're 30 miles away. 410 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:14,960 [clanking] 411 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,960 [Jeremy] After not having a beer... 412 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,360 [tools squeaking] 413 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:23,200 Hammond ruined the nocturnal African soundtrack... 414 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:24,160 Ooh! 415 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:25,360 [squeaking] 416 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,120 [Jeremy] By noisily sorting out his exhaust. 417 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:32,800 [squeaking continues] 418 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,000 And the next morning, 419 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:43,280 James ruined the dawn chorus by turning into Mrs Overall. 420 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,720 [hoover wheezing] 421 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,600 -[Richard] Morning. -Morning. 422 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,200 Erm, how empty does your mind have to be for you to think 423 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,560 "I could look at the view and listen to the birdsong 424 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,080 but instead I'm going to vacuum my car"? 425 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,840 I've been up for four hours, looked at the view and listened to the birdsong, 426 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,320 and now I've made this thing of beauty more beautiful. 427 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,280 -[text message] -Ooh, hang on, sorry. 428 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,920 Guess what? 429 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,200 -A text from Mr Wilman. -[Richard] Go on. 430 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,280 Ooh, he's cross. 431 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:14,840 -Has he rumbled us? -I think so. 432 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:20,120 "Right. I've just found out you've taken three classic cars to Zimbabwe. 433 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,240 And as it's fairly certain one of them will break down..." 434 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,280 -Oh dear. -[Richard] Yep. 435 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,560 "I've asked my local contacts to send you a backup car." 436 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:31,360 Really? 437 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,600 -[Richard stuttering] -[Jeremy] Gotta be. 438 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,160 [Richard] Oh... 439 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,720 [Jeremy] Oh, God. 440 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,040 Oh! 441 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,440 Oh, shit! 442 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,240 It's awful! 443 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,400 [James] Is it? I haven't seen one for years, actually. 444 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,560 -[Richard] It is... -It's a vase. 445 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,080 [James] Oh, I forgot about the vase. 446 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,600 You're supposed to put a little flower in it because you're a hippie. 447 00:23:56,360 --> 00:24:00,080 Well, I'll tell you what. You know that village just coming five miles back? 448 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,320 -Yeah? -Why don't I take this into the village 449 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,000 and I'll sell it or give it away? I'll get rid of it. 450 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:04,960 Yes, get rid. 451 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,480 Do you want something to put over your head? 452 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,800 [all chuckling] 453 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,840 [Richard] It's the definition of hateful. 454 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:17,520 [Jeremy] Just round the corner, though, things went terribly wrong. 455 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,000 [engine rattling] 456 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,360 Hammond, I am in a right old pickle here. 457 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,000 What's happened? 458 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,240 I've had the most extraordinary accident, okay? 459 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,600 I lost it, and I've ended up here on this cliff edge. 460 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,800 -[Jeremy] Look. -[Richard] Oh yeah. 461 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,960 And it gets worse. A brick is now on the accelerator, 462 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,880 the engine's screaming away, it's in gear, 463 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,200 it's in first, 464 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,280 and there's a broom handle holding the clutch pedal down 465 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,320 'cause it's wedged against the seat. 466 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,680 Wait, so everything's okay? 467 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,880 Well, yes. Except, somehow, God knows where it came from, 468 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,320 a bit of rope has attached itself at one end 469 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,600 to the broom handle and at the other end to that dog. 470 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,040 Jesus! 471 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,120 Now, at the moment, the situation is stable. 472 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:10,560 But, over there, 473 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,600 as you can see, James May is opening a tin of dog food. 474 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,960 Now, if the dog sees that, 475 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,200 we're in a world of trouble. 476 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,160 And I just don't know what to do. 477 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,240 I can't think of a solution. 478 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,000 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I've got a plan. 479 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,640 No, it won't work. 480 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,320 Have you got anything? 481 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,240 I've got nothing. 482 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:38,800 [dog panting] 483 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,840 Don't notice James May. Don't notice James. Look at me. 484 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,040 [suspenseful music] 485 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,600 No, don't. Look at me. 486 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:51,880 Oh no! 487 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,960 [rattling] 488 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,440 It's still going, isn't it? 489 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,000 [Jeremy laughing] It's still going! 490 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,720 I think it's finished. 491 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,560 That's quite a big accident. 492 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,440 Well, look at it this way. At least Mr Wilman now has his trailer. 493 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,400 [James] We didn't need Mr Wilman's wretched backup car anyway, 494 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,160 because we'd brought our own. 495 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:05,840 [James] And here it is, a Rover SD1 Vanden Plas EFi. 496 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,680 190 horsepower of golden glory. 497 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,760 It is golden glory. And it's golden glory everywhere. 498 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,240 Oh it is, yes. 499 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,760 Whoever resprayed this did a magnificent job. 500 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,280 -Yeah. -He didn't just spray the body. 501 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,640 -[Jeremy] Even the aerial there. -[Richard] I have covered this car. 502 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,480 But it is still magnificent. 503 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,560 It's the only time we've had a backup car that we'd like to be in. 504 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,680 We all like it. My grandfather had one of these. 505 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,240 My dad had one. Two, in fact. 506 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,680 There was one of them in one drive on a suburban street in Birmingham. 507 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,440 And we would go silent as we walked past it out of respect. 508 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,880 And, the really good thing is, from your point of view, 509 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,840 the engine from this, 510 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,680 as we know because almost every Stag owner in the world has already done it, 511 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,720 fits perfectly into your car. 512 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,600 Can I suggest a modification that you and I, Jeremy, make to this car? 513 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:52,600 Mm-hmm? 514 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,360 A little padlock on the bonnet. 515 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,600 [Richard] Just so that... We'll have the key. 516 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,560 When you need the engine, which you will, ask. 517 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,160 Or we could find the man who did this bit of welding. 518 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:02,560 -[Richard] It's beautiful. -[James] Ooh, that's good. 519 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,360 [Jeremy] And weld the bonnet shut. 520 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,520 -Actually, that's probably the factory. -[Jeremy laughing] 521 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,120 Yeah, probably how it came out of Longbridge! 522 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,200 [in a Birmingham accent] "I think I'll finish that now, hey." 523 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:12,920 [in a Birmingham accent] "You can't see it. Look. Gone." 524 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,000 [epic music] 525 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,600 [James] With Golden Glory taking up the rear, 526 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:23,640 we set off west once more in our quest to get over the mountains. 527 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,400 [tense music] 528 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,800 [men chanting] 529 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,560 [James] Hey, look at this. These are road-repair people 530 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,800 but they're having an impromptu sort of dance-club thing. 531 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,960 I wish road workers back at home did that. 532 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,080 But I suppose they'd have to be there to start with, wouldn't they? 533 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,000 [tense music] 534 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,520 It's going down a bit now. 535 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,920 [Jeremy] Having done a bit of paddling, we started to climb. 536 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:09,040 And the incredible Zimbabwean landscape changed once again. 537 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,440 Look at that, meadows. You expect to see cows with bells on them. 538 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,760 And Julie Andrews, giving it "Doe A Deer" and all the rest of it. 539 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,640 So we've done tea plantation 540 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,600 and now we're in Austria. 541 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,960 [epic music] 542 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,160 [Jeremy] Then, it changed again. 543 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,840 What? Hold on a minute. 544 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,080 To my right, 545 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,920 the most spectacular valley I've ever seen in my life. 546 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,480 To my left... 547 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:47,800 Ireland. 548 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,840 [music continues] 549 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,040 I know what happened. 550 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,560 God had done all the other countries in the world 551 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,880 and he'd got to the end of the alphabet, he got to Z, 552 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:02,840 he got to Zimbabwe, 553 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,640 and he thought, right, this is gonna be my best work, 554 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,360 this is gonna be my greatest hits. 555 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,960 You've got "Your Song", "Tiny Dancer", "Bennie and the Jets". 556 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:17,800 It's stunning. 557 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,920 And it just changes all the time. 558 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,520 [epic music] 559 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:30,000 [Richard] Sadly, in my low-slung Capri, I couldn't look at the view 560 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:34,120 because I was too busy looking at the road surface. 561 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:35,600 [grunting] 562 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,320 [rumbling] 563 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,960 They didn't drive Capris this way in The Professionals, as I recall. 564 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,920 It was all a bit more lively. 565 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,520 [Richard grunting] 566 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,040 I'm enjoying this. It's fun. You know, it's what I wanna do. 567 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:56,920 Oh my God, look at that one. 568 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,280 [grunting] 569 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,960 [Jeremy] I was suffering none of Hammond's problems 570 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,240 because my little Lancia had been a sensible choice. 571 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,840 [engine purring] 572 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:15,560 This really is the ideal car for rough-road African exploration 573 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,440 because the engine is behind me, 574 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,800 so there's no prop shaft, there are no exhausts, 575 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,640 there's nothing to snag on the road surface. 576 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,640 [Jeremy] I could therefore push on at a respectable lick... 577 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,960 until something did snag on the road surface. 578 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,360 -[banging] -Oh. F--[bleeped] hell. 579 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,040 That was a big one. 580 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,040 What is that? 581 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,120 These are bits of Lancia. Oh, joy! 582 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,000 [Richard chuckling] 583 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,400 Thank you, thank you. I needed that. 584 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,120 I do need that. Thank you. 585 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:14,480 [James] Oh... 586 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,400 Do you not want us to go down the front? 587 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,880 No, there's nothing to see at the front of my car. 588 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,520 Because there's no front of your car! 589 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,440 But this is all I need. 590 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,080 With a bit of superglue. 'Cause we're tenting tonight. 591 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:28,480 Nothing to do when you're tenting other than glue your car back together. 592 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,040 [Richard] We continued onwards. 593 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,360 -[rattling] -Oh, God. 594 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,480 Wow, that was a thumb breaker. 595 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,440 [Richard] And then, once again, we stopped continuing onwards. 596 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,400 -[rattling] -Oh, [bleeped]. 597 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,160 [Richard] Oh no. 598 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,000 [metal rattling] 599 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,920 [Richard over radio] I think my exhaust has come off again. 600 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:52,960 [James chuckling] 601 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,600 [James] Having a spot of bother, sir? 602 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,040 That is an extended exhaust system. 603 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,400 [James] Very low. You'll catch that on the ground if you're not careful. 604 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,360 Why can't you just drive up the road like the rest of us are? 605 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,720 I can't drive with it like that. I need to remove it. 606 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,080 [Jeremy] Have you played your Capri music, would that cheer you up? 607 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,240 ♪ Ba, ba, Ford Capri ♪ 608 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,520 "It's got everything I need except the exhaust pipe." 609 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,480 [Jeremy laughing] 610 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,040 [Richard] I need, I'm gonna say, a 11 mm spanner. 611 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,240 [Jeremy] Oh, now, hang on. 612 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,240 I've got some antibiotics, 613 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,760 for something I don't have any more. 614 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,560 -[Richard] I don't think... -[Jeremy] I've got this, Hammond. 615 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,720 -Bernie Taupin's autobiography. -I've heard that's really good. 616 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,480 Very good. I'm reading it. Would that help you? 617 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,720 [Richard] I don't think it would actually help, no. 618 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,720 I'm gonna say, again, 11 mm spanner. 619 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,160 [clanking] 620 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:46,920 What's particularly irritating is 621 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,000 this car was in brilliant condition when I bought it. 622 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,720 -[Jeremy] Yes! -[Richard] I mean, genuinely. 623 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,920 -[Jeremy] So was that Rimac. -[Richard and James laughing] 624 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,320 [James] Low blow. Very good. 625 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,360 That was a bit harsh! But I can't deny it's true. 626 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,600 It was, yeah, until then. 627 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,640 [James] Eager to reach the top of the mountain before nightfall, 628 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,760 we left our colleague behind. 629 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,159 Honestly, if Richard Hammond was a block of flats, he'd be condemned. 630 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,639 [clanking] 631 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,280 [Richard] Mother [bleeped]! Come on! 632 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:26,520 [Jeremy] Further ahead, the climb was starting to get so tough 633 00:34:26,639 --> 00:34:30,080 you'd think twice about taking a Land Rover up it, 634 00:34:30,199 --> 00:34:33,920 leave alone a brittle Italian sports car. 635 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,920 -[rattling] -[Jeremy] Oh, God, bloody stone there. 636 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,679 We started at 6,000 feet. We must be pushing 7,000 or 8,000 now. 637 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,000 Agh! I can't even get it into second. It's so steep. 638 00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:51,080 -[clanking] -[Jeremy grunting] 639 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,280 I mean, the fact of the matter is, if you drive relentlessly uphill 640 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,840 in first gear 641 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,320 at the beginning of the African summer, 642 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,800 a car is likely to overheat. And it is... 643 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,200 [rumbling] 644 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,000 Oh my God. 645 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,280 [Richard grunting] 646 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,600 [grunting] 647 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,040 [grunting] 648 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,600 Right. Erm, I fixed it. 649 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,600 Well, when I say "fixed", quite a lot of it... 650 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,400 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry... [laughing] 651 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,120 [engine starting] 652 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,000 We're back on the road now, Essex. 653 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,760 [in an Essex accent] Let's go. 654 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:34,880 [Richard] Ooh. 655 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,760 Get you to camp this evening. 656 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,640 We can have a nice old session putting you right. 657 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:42,640 Oof! 658 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,400 [Jeremy] Whilst Hammond was missing another sunset, 659 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:52,800 James and I reached the summit of the mountain and decided, yet again, 660 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,000 that we'd had enough for the day. 661 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:56,160 [opening a can] 662 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,640 -Cheers. -Cheers. 663 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,880 Oh. That's nice. 664 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,160 [Jeremy] And after enjoying a refreshing golden-hour beer, 665 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,000 I set about reassembling the Lancia's face. 666 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,120 [James] This is like watching a dog try to learn a card trick. 667 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,760 A little bit of glue and this is literally as good as new. 668 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,520 [James] By the time Hammond reached our campsite, 669 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,160 it was completely dark. 670 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,600 [Jeremy and James laughing] 671 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,480 [Richard] Oh... Right. 672 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,600 [Jeremy laughing] This is the most woeful arrival! 673 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:44,600 [James laughing] 674 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,280 [Jeremy] 22 years. You'd think we'd know how to do it. But no. 675 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:49,640 Here he comes. 676 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,800 With one and a half headlamps! 677 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,320 [Richard] Essex is here! 678 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,840 [James] Hammond, however, wasn't the only one having problems. 679 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,280 [Richard] Were you having a nice moment? 680 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,200 Well, no, I'm not having a very nice moment. 681 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:04,960 [James] No, he's glued his finger to the table. 682 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,600 [Jeremy] I've glued myself to the table with superglue. 683 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:08,560 [Richard] Yeah? 684 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,960 [Jeremy] How do you drive a Lancia Montecarlo 685 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,480 when you've got a table glued to your finger? 686 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:12,960 Are you going to glue... Oh, I see! 687 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,080 [James] You could slide a razor blade 688 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,280 between your finger and the table. It's a bit risky. 689 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,760 -[Jeremy] Can you? -[James] Yeah. 690 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,880 But very carefully. Would you like me to do it for you? 691 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,000 James, he's glued the tip of his finger. 692 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,280 [Jeremy] No, my fingerprint. 693 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,080 [James] Well, it's the sort of pad. 694 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,440 So if you cut it at the first joint... 695 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,280 -[Jeremy] Thank you, Hammond. -Have I misunderstood? 696 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,480 [James] Then we could graft a biro onto it. 697 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,560 -[Richard] Lovely. -Then he'd always have a pen. 698 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,640 Or a bottle opener! [laughing] 699 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,520 -[Richard and James laughing] -I'm not listening to you. 700 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,880 [laughing] Replace it with a corkscrew! 701 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:44,960 [James] Opener o'nuckle. 702 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:46,160 "Oh, brilliant." [Richard imitating a corkscrew] 703 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,600 Doink. [laughing] 704 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,360 This is the first time I've ever glued anything to anything, ever. 705 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,800 I'll get this off. Can we just cut, please? 706 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,480 -Yeah, I can cut. -Ooh. Interesting. 707 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,360 -I can cut. -Give me that. Give me that. 708 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,080 It's Mark Sowerman's new knife. He's very, very proud of it. 709 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,040 -[Jeremy] Yes, I'm not interested. -It's incredibly sharp. 710 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,000 [Jeremy] Good. 711 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,800 How sharp is... Ooh. 712 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,200 Yes, it's... "Ooh", it is. 713 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,080 -[Richard] Ah, but look how much... [Jeremy] Ah-ha, this is working! 714 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,520 Do we look like one of those Dutch paintings with businessmen in big hats? 715 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,200 It's working. It's working. 716 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,760 -[Jeremy] Look. -[James] This is in the trailer. 717 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:22,840 Definitely. 718 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,640 -[Jeremy] Look at that! -[James] Yes! There you go! 719 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,360 [Richard] A grown man unglued his finger from the table. 720 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,480 [Jeremy] Mark? I've glued your knife to the table. 721 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,840 [soft music] 722 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:46,520 [Jeremy] The next morning, after a terrible and cold night under canvas, 723 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:50,600 I proudly showed off my workmanship. 724 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,680 Look how well a job I've done there. 725 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,080 [James] I thought you'd got a new part from a shop. 726 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,680 -[Richard] Where is the repair? -[Jeremy] The brackets that hold it on. 727 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,160 -Yes? -They're brok-ed. 728 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:06,360 So I need to find some place where I can buy 729 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:10,400 basically new brackets and bolts and things to get it fastened back on again. 730 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,080 [soft country music] 731 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,440 [rattling] 732 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,320 I feel I ought to apologise, viewers, for having a slightly boring car. 733 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:30,200 The others spend their evenings, you know, putting exhaust pipes back on, 734 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,040 making a jigsaw puzzle out of a front bumper. 735 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,480 All I can really do is give mine a bit of a clean. 736 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,680 [music continues] 737 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,480 [Jeremy] Still, at least we were now going downhill. 738 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:46,320 And soon, things got even better. 739 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,080 [Jeremy] Oh yes. 740 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,120 Look at this. 741 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:52,640 Look at it. 742 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,040 Oh! 743 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,280 There is a God. 744 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,360 And God has provided tarmac. 745 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,560 [soft music] 746 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,400 It's good 'cause now we're on a road we can actually look at... 747 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,960 Why did my windscreen wipers go on then? 748 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:15,280 [Jeremy] What this meant is we'd crossed the Irish Alps 749 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,080 and entered actual Africa. 750 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,360 [Jeremy] It's completely changed again, the terrain. 751 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:27,640 Look at that. 752 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,920 Jesus wept, it's pretty. 753 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,680 We're on a Star Trek set now. Oh, look at the red... 754 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,400 Look at that acacia with the red flowers. 755 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,040 [Jeremy] And then we saw something even better. 756 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,040 Ooh! 757 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,880 [Richard] I love a scrapyard. 758 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,920 [Jeremy] We pulled in to see if they had the spare parts we needed. 759 00:40:56,480 --> 00:41:00,280 But soon we were distracted by all the treasures. 760 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:05,080 [Jeremy] This is a very good test of our motoring knowledge. 761 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,480 [James] Is that a Cresta behind that? 762 00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:09,960 [Jeremy] I think it is. A Cresta shooting brake. 763 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:11,640 [James] Shooting brake. 764 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,400 [Jeremy] As my mother always used to call them. 765 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,480 In what special did you drive one of these? 766 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,400 -Bolivia! Yeah! -[James] He's right. 767 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,160 [Jeremy] He's remembered something! 768 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,800 That genuinely is worth restoring. 769 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,640 -[Richard] It's gorgeous. -[Jeremy] Hey, look at this one. 770 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,200 -That's an Austin Cambridge! -It is indeed an Austin Cambridge. 771 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,760 [Richard] With writing. What's that? RSR. 772 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,920 That means it was when this was Rhodesia. 773 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,960 -[Jeremy] Oh, is that what it means? -Yeah, so that's been off the road 774 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,280 -a long time. -[James] That's been there a while. 775 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:42,640 [Jeremy] Excuse me? Are you trying to make this go? 776 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:43,880 [mechanic] Yeah. 777 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,440 -[Jeremy] Yes? -Nearly there. 778 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:46,440 [all laughing] 779 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,960 -[Richard] Good luck. -Nearly there. 780 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:49,160 [Richard] Yeah, nearly there. 781 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,200 Erm, you may think it's a joke. 782 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:55,560 The best-selling car in Zimbabwe 783 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,480 in the sort of 60s was...? 784 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,200 Where do they... It was French. 785 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,360 -Four, Renault Four. -[Richard] Oh! 786 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:03,800 -There is one over there. -Yes, there, look. 787 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,360 [Jeremy] Yeah, Renault Four. Do you know what the 5th best-selling car was? 788 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,680 -The Lancia Montecarlo? -It wasn't a Lancia Montecarlo, was it? 789 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,640 -Close. -I'll bet it was an Alfa Romeo. 790 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,160 Alfa Romeo Giulia. 791 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:13,160 Was it? 792 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:14,920 -That's 'cause they made them here. -They made them in South Africa. 793 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,760 -[James] In South Africa, rather, yeah. -And a friend of mine's dad 794 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,920 ran the Ford factory in Harare. 795 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,480 And they used to smuggle parts of Alfas 796 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,360 out of South Africa 797 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,480 and then build Alfas in the Ford factory and sell them! 798 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,520 -As Alfas? -Yeah, as Alfas. 799 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,280 But they also used to build them in the French factories here. 800 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,920 There were Alfa Romeos running here that Alfa Romeo didn't know they'd built. 801 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:36,280 But all the VIN numbers would be wrong. 802 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:37,960 VIN numbers, VIN numbers! 803 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,760 I'm just saying. 804 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,000 [soft acoustic music] 805 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,400 [Jeremy] Annoyingly, the scrapyard didn't have any bumper mounts 806 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,560 for a Lancia Montecarlo 807 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:52,840 or exhaust brackets for a 1974 Capri GXL. 808 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,200 So Hammond decided to bodge another repair, 809 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,000 while I took the roof off my Montecarlo. 810 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,920 -[Jeremy] The air con is just useless. -[James] Is it? 811 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,320 Honestly, it's like being in the Black Hole of Calcutta in there. 812 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:08,680 You can't say that. 813 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,200 -[James] Er... -Why not? 814 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,760 [James] I just don't think you can. 815 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,520 Well, all right, if you object to me saying the "Black Hole of Calcutta"... 816 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,080 -[James] I don't object to it. -Not you. 817 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,560 I'm talking to the ladies and gentlemen at home. If anybody wants to write in 818 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,320 and say they object to that, you go right ahead. 819 00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:24,920 I'm gone. I'm done. 820 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,440 -[James] Can you just pull the lever? -Dial... 821 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,560 It's 0800 Off Sod. 822 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:33,120 Off Sod. And then you'll get a recorded message saying: 823 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,400 -"We do not value your call." -Yes, "Your call is not important to us." 824 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,160 [chuckling] "Your call... Your..." 825 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,440 Just pull the lever again 'cause there's another little latch bit here. 826 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:42,480 -Here? -Yeah. 827 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:43,560 [Jeremy] Look! 828 00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,920 -[James] Yes, there you go. -[Jeremy] The thing has disintegrated. 829 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,520 How did you make...? And then what happens? 830 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,720 [Jeremy] Well, I think... 831 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:52,680 [James] Well, why does that bit...? 832 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,200 That doesn't.... But how does that... 833 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,480 But why does that bit unlatch then? 834 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,800 -[Jeremy] Do these now just clip back... -[James] Oh wait. If that goes... 835 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,160 -[Jeremy] Do you think this goes under? -[James] I do. 836 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,160 -Like that? -[James] Yeah. 837 00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,200 Well, to stop... Oh, I see. Oh. 838 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,240 -[James] Ah! -[Jeremy] There. No. 839 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,920 -But nearly. -But possibly. 840 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,200 -There you go. -Do you think that's...? 841 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,880 And in just 24 minutes, 842 00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,640 we've converted the Lancia Montecarlo into a convertible. 843 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,360 James, thank you for your help. 844 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:35,000 [Jeremy] We then had a gossip about our colleague. 845 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:38,560 Captain Exhaust Pipe is going to attempt, 846 00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:41,080 apparently, to put straight-through exhausts. 847 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:42,720 -Oh really? -Out of the side of the car. 848 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:46,280 So he'll have basically like stacks, like a Kenworth truck. 849 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:47,840 Well, I've got a suggestion. 850 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:49,680 -[Jeremy] We leave him behind. -Yes, exactly. 851 00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,200 I also don't like people with tattoos. 852 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,120 These fully-grown men go and draw on themselves. 853 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,520 I've noticed. It's the name of his programme he does. 854 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:02,560 The Smallest Cog. He's had his television... 855 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:04,240 Well, what happens when that gets canned? 856 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,720 I mean, what if I'd had Top Gear tattooed on my arm? 857 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:08,200 [Jeremy] Yes, exactly. 858 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,760 He'll have to cross it out and write 859 00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,000 "I'm appearing as Buttons at Swindon Wyvern." 860 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,400 -Yeah, which is a lot of work. -Which he will be, one day. 861 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,840 -Write "Buttons." -Or maybe just "Buttons," yeah. 862 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,160 -Put it there, really. -[Jeremy laughing] Buttons! 863 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:28,560 [Jeremy] After this, the Ghosts of Christmas Future set off. 864 00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:30,520 -See you, Hammond. -Yeah. 865 00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:31,880 [Richard] Bye. 866 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,640 Happy travels. 867 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,600 [upbeat music] 868 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,920 [saw whirring] 869 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,760 [Jeremy] While Hammond banged and clanged away, 870 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:51,040 James and I headed towards the capital city of Harare. 871 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,200 ["Monte Carlo" by Struggle Jennings playing] 872 00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:05,680 And now we were on tarmac, we made good time getting there. 873 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,480 [music continues] 874 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,520 [soft rock music] 875 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,240 [people whistling and cheering] 876 00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:24,040 I'm gonna miss driving through cities like this. 877 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:26,600 God, they're colourful and fun. 878 00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:31,120 [Jeremy over radio] Check out the policeman, James. 879 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,640 [Jeremy laughing] Look at him! He's magnificent! 880 00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,560 [Jeremy over radio] Is he having any effect at all on the traffic? 881 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,720 [James over radio] No, but he cheers everybody up immensely. 882 00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:52,120 [Jeremy] As we headed for the city centre, we came across a market. 883 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,360 A big one. 884 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,680 Jesus, this is enormous. 885 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,960 [people whistling and cheering] 886 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,200 [Jeremy honking] Okay! 887 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:15,760 [Jeremy] And soon, I had an idea. 888 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,640 [Jeremy over radio] Right, as this is the last time we ever work together, 889 00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,160 shall we see if we can help Richard Hammond 890 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,920 and see if we can actually buy him an exhaust pipe for his car? 891 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:27,720 Yeah, okay, why not. 892 00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:32,360 [Jeremy] To speed up the shopping, I fired up another modification, 893 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,280 my onboard public-address system. 894 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:37,000 [high pitch buzz] 895 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:41,440 [over PA] Does anybody have an exhaust system for a Ford Capri 896 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,800 Mark One three-litre GXL? 897 00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,400 [Jeremy over radio] On the left, exhaust systems. 898 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,120 [James over radio] Oh yes. 899 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,560 [Jeremy over radio] Do you think any of them will fit a Mark One V6 GXL? 900 00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,720 I expect they'll fit as well as the ones that are currently on there. 901 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,200 [chuckling] 902 00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:58,880 [clanking] 903 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:02,200 [Richard] And on that point, many miles back... 904 00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:04,440 [wrench clanking] 905 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,280 Like a glove. 906 00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,200 [chuckling] 907 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,240 Sidewinder! Yeah! 908 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,200 [engine roaring] 909 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,120 [Richard laughing] That sounds even better! 910 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,640 [revving] 911 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:33,600 Road Warrior coming through. Oh yeah. 912 00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:39,160 [honking and chatting] 913 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,360 [James] We were now on foot as we searched for an exhaust. 914 00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:46,920 [Jeremy] Shock-absorbers shop, look. 915 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,920 Shocks and springs. 916 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,200 Tail lights. 917 00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,280 -They have got your names in the paper. -[Jeremy] Huh? 918 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,520 They have got your names in the paper. 919 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:00,400 [Jeremy] Oh shit. 920 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,040 [James] We're in the paper? Oh wow! 921 00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,120 [Jeremy] We are literally front-page news. 922 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,520 "Top Gear legends." 923 00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:11,240 -Yeah, look. -Here we are again. 924 00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,920 [Jeremy] You see, "Superstars who they made their name in Top Gear..." 925 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,480 and then blew it. 926 00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:22,920 "The most recognisable figures when it comes to motoring on television." 927 00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:24,200 That's a narrow band. 928 00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:26,520 -[James] Yeah, it is a bit. -[Jeremy chuckling] 929 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,680 [James] Look, this is getting more promising. 930 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,720 [James] I think it's fair to say that if our colleague had known 931 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,360 we were exhaust shopping, he'd have been very grateful. 932 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:42,520 [engine roaring loudly] 933 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:47,320 Okay, I'll be honest, had enough now. 934 00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,360 [roaring continues] 935 00:49:56,280 --> 00:50:01,640 [Richard] Darkness had fallen by the time I arrived at our peaceful boutique hotel. 936 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:08,000 [engine roaring loudly] 937 00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:14,680 [Richard] Chaps! 938 00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:16,440 -Well done! -[Jeremy] Have you had a rotten day? 939 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,800 -[Richard] Aw! Thank you. -I've got you a beer. 940 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,160 But I think more important than that... 941 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:25,480 And yes, it is a correct set, look. 942 00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,240 -For the GXL. -It is for the GXL. 943 00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:29,360 -I don't wanna be... -Not the GT. 944 00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,160 -Is this a cruel joke? -[Jeremy and James] No. 945 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,320 -Really? -[James] Yeah. 946 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,600 [Richard] Oh, my God! 947 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,240 Look what that means! 948 00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,960 -Feel that. -Quiet. 949 00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:39,560 [Jeremy] It means you're getting no sleep tonight. 950 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:40,720 [Richard] Oh, I don't care! 951 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:42,760 Hammond, it doesn't stop there. 952 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:44,080 -[Richard] What? -It doesn't stop there. 953 00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,320 This is embarrassing now but I'm very grateful. 954 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:49,440 Oh, my Lord. 955 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,840 -Oh, my Lord! -[Jeremy] That's a rear spoiler. 956 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,240 -Not just any rear spoiler. -No, but a Richard Grant rear... 957 00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:58,080 -You remember Richard Grant spoilers? -[Richard] The actor? 958 00:50:58,840 --> 00:50:59,640 [Jeremy] No, well... 959 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,200 That's the thing, the Richard Grant spoilers were on XR2s 960 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:04,840 all through the 70s and 80s. 961 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,960 Turns out Richard E. Grant, who did Withnail and I... 962 00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,080 -He did! -[Jeremy] He did. He then started 963 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:10,800 a car accessory business. 964 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:12,880 But because he didn't want to damage his acting career, 965 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:14,160 he dropped the "E". 966 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,800 [Richard] Chaps, er, 967 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,840 this is genuinely all spectacular news and I'm very, very happy. 968 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,160 So you can fit that tonight. 969 00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,200 [Richard] I feel terrible. I haven't got you any... 970 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,880 Of course you haven't got me anything. 971 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:25,880 I haven't got you any gifts. 972 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,280 When have you ever, you two, ever bought me... 973 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,440 You bought me a shit oil painting in Vietnam. 974 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:33,800 -It was lovely! -[Jeremy] Shit. 975 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,360 And you've never bought me anything. 976 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:36,800 -Have I never bought you anything? -[Jeremy] Never. 977 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:38,720 -Have I never bought you a gift? -[Jeremy] No! 978 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,040 [Jeremy] I bought you a galleon in Vietnam to put on your motorcycle. 979 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,800 [Jeremy] That night, we polished our cars, 980 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,520 did all the necessary repairs... 981 00:51:48,720 --> 00:51:51,080 [upbeat music] 982 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:56,360 And then met up for the sort of breakfast Mr Wilman never provided. 983 00:51:58,440 --> 00:51:59,240 [Jeremy] Is that my coffee? 984 00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:00,480 [James] Yes. 985 00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:02,200 -You ordered me a coffee? -Yes. 986 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,320 It's nearly a present. 987 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:06,880 -Hey. -What. 988 00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:08,600 I went to the bar last night. 989 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:10,560 -Yeah? -Got talking to a man. 990 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:12,880 And I bought this from him. 991 00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,280 -What is it? -Silver. 992 00:52:18,240 --> 00:52:19,400 Actual silver. 993 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:21,640 -[James] Is it? -[Jeremy] Nuggets of it, yes. 994 00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,640 60 cents a gram. 995 00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:27,000 'Cause, turns out, you know we've been driving along... 996 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,640 On the surface there's all the fruit and crops and so on. 997 00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,680 -Yeah. -Bread basket of Africa. 998 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,200 Dig down... 999 00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,600 Gold, silver, manganese, lithium, 1000 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,560 diamonds, coal, iron ore. 1001 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:42,760 So you're ploughing a field to get your pineapples in, 1002 00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,640 or your tea or your bananas or whatever it might be, 1003 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,360 and there's just diamonds and lithium. 1004 00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,800 -Jewels. -Yeah, jewels and lithium and cobalt 1005 00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,600 just pouring out. 1006 00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,400 And I was thinking, you know people when they go on... 1007 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,680 Well, we go on these trips, we always go home with a stupid souvenir. 1008 00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,000 Well, instead of buying some crappy nonsense, 1009 00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,280 why don't we get some silver? 1010 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,480 -60 cents? -[Jeremy] 60 cents! 1011 00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:04,520 -[Richard] A gram? -A gram. 1012 00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:09,000 [Jeremy] We then rushed immediately into town and went shopping. 1013 00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,040 And we didn't hold back. 1014 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:18,040 So this is 45 kilograms of silver. 1015 00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:19,760 -[Richard] The best souvenir ever. -[Jeremy] I know. 1016 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,480 We could have gone back with an awful painting of a sunset. 1017 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,160 This is going to affect my weight distribution, I've gotta be honest. 1018 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,120 [Richard] This is gonna add to the downforce from my wing. 1019 00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,800 [Jeremy] I'm just trying to work out how much that cost. 1020 00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:33,800 [Richard] Not a lot, according to you. 1021 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,200 -Well, it's sixty cents a gram. -[Richard] Yes. 1022 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:39,400 But we got a discount on the quantity. And then the change he gave me was this. 1023 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,200 So I paid in US... 1024 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:44,240 What is that? 1025 00:53:45,720 --> 00:53:47,840 -50... 50 million? -Mm-hmm. 1026 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:49,240 [Jeremy] 50 million dollars. 1027 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,680 When they had really big hyperinflation, it was a million percent, wasn't it? 1028 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,080 [James] Something like that, yeah. 1029 00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,720 And at one point, I think with a 50 million-dollar note, 1030 00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,040 it was cheaper to wipe your bottom with this 1031 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,440 than it was to use one single sheet of lavatory paper. 1032 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,320 -[Richard] It was actually cheaper? -'Cause that was more valuable. 1033 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,160 That's why if people ordered a coffee, they paid for it when they got it 1034 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,520 rather than after they'd drunk it 'cause it would have gone up. 1035 00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:11,000 -Anyway. -[Richard] Enough financial matters. 1036 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:16,040 -So we've got 45 kilograms of silver... -Yes. 1037 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,080 And 50 million dollars. 1038 00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:19,640 We are in a good place. 1039 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,560 [Jeremy] Having fired up our fully repaired silver machines, 1040 00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:26,760 we headed out of town, 1041 00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:32,680 fairly convinced that no city on earth gives better avenue. 1042 00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,920 [Jeremy over radio] Those purple trees are breathtaking. 1043 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:39,080 Are these really Jacaranda trees? 1044 00:54:39,240 --> 00:54:41,680 [Richard over radio] Yeah, they are. Look at that. They're beautiful. 1045 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:46,080 [soft music] 1046 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,720 [Jeremy] Oh, look at this. 1047 00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,920 That's the most beautiful avenue of trees I think I've ever seen. 1048 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:02,800 ["Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division playing] 1049 00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:05,360 [Richard] With Jeremy on map-reading duties, 1050 00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:10,240 we headed due west on a rather brilliant ribbon of tarmac. 1051 00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,200 [engine roaring] 1052 00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,920 [James] The road is good, scenery is good, 1053 00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:21,240 things are good. 1054 00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,440 [music continues] 1055 00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:41,160 [Jeremy] For hours, the journey was completely trouble-free. 1056 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:46,520 And it continued to be trouble-free till I stopped to check the map. 1057 00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:48,160 [honking] 1058 00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:51,080 Then it wasn't trouble-free any more. 1059 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:52,840 [Jeremy] Shit. 1060 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,600 [Richard] Wherefore have you stopped? 1061 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,360 -[Jeremy] Good news. -Go on. 1062 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,720 Good news. Very good news. 1063 00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,440 Er, I know exactly which road we're on. 1064 00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:03,920 [Richard stuttering] 1065 00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:06,320 -There is some bad news. -Yes. 1066 00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:07,320 It's the wrong road. 1067 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:09,680 -[James] What's happened? -[Jeremy] We're on the wrong road. 1068 00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,440 Who said they knew where they were going? Oh, I know. 1069 00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:14,520 -Er, was it... I... -It wasn't you. 1070 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:16,960 -No, it was like another voice. -And it wasn't me, was it? 1071 00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:19,720 Let's not get bogged down in who turned left and who turned right. 1072 00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:21,320 -It was you. -It was me. 1073 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:23,680 So, you've got us on the wrong road leaving Harare. 1074 00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,600 [Jeremy] We should be heading west. We're not. We're heading north. 1075 00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,200 -Show me. -We face a choice. We can either 1076 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,200 go all the way back to Harare. 1077 00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:34,040 -No. -[Richard laughing] 1078 00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:35,360 And take that turning, which we should have done. 1079 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,960 -Okay. -[Jeremy] Or... 1080 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:40,000 If we keep heading north and then... 1081 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,000 -On the wrong road. -Yeah. 1082 00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,320 If we keep heading north, we will eventually get to the Zambezi, okay? 1083 00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:45,880 Which is the border with Zambia. 1084 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:47,640 [Jeremy] Big river. Can't miss it. 1085 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,760 Hang a left, we know we're going west. 1086 00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,640 Well, 'cause the river goes like that and the road goes like that. 1087 00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:57,480 [Jeremy] So, there we are. 1088 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:02,240 ["Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division resumes] 1089 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,880 [Jeremy] Having processed the fact that instead of doing this, 1090 00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:08,920 we'd been doing this, 1091 00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,200 we soldiered on. 1092 00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,720 [Jeremy] I think we'll make it to the Zambezi by nightfall. 1093 00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,560 We could camp by the Zambezi. 1094 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,080 How cool would that be? 1095 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:24,960 [Jeremy] But then... 1096 00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:26,840 the tarmac ran out. 1097 00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:30,720 [rattling] 1098 00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,560 [Richard grunting] Oh no! 1099 00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,240 Oh please, don't let this be washboard. Oh God! 1100 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,160 It is! 1101 00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:42,200 [Richard grunting] Oh! 1102 00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:46,760 Chaps, it's about 40 miles to the river now, 40 miles. 1103 00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:49,400 -14 miles? -[Jeremy over radio] No, no, James. 1104 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,840 40 miles, four zero miles. 1105 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:53,320 [James over radio] 40? 1106 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:57,200 Yes, I'm afraid that's about the sum of it, yes. 1107 00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,200 -[rattling] -[Richard grunting] 1108 00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,520 [Richard] They're never gonna hold together. 1109 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,840 -[clanking] -Oh, that was a really bad bit. 1110 00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:08,680 Oh, wait, I'm stopping. What? 1111 00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,440 Chaps, er, I'm breaking down. 1112 00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,320 [Jeremy over radio] It's okay, mine's fine. 1113 00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,320 Oh no... I smell fuel. 1114 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:22,760 First job is put something white on 1115 00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:27,400 because the tsetse flies are attracted to blue and black. 1116 00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:30,960 [Richard] Oh, shit! 1117 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,440 All my petrol is falling out. 1118 00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,600 Oh no, that's bad. 1119 00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:40,640 This is the fuel pipe, and this is the fuel. 1120 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:43,680 [Richard laughing] 1121 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,360 That's your-- Thank you. 1122 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:46,920 -Well... -What I could do... 1123 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:49,040 -Is petrol coming out of your hot car? -Yeah. 1124 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:50,000 Is this a good idea? 1125 00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:51,080 -[Richard] Yeah. -[Jeremy] Thank you. 1126 00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:53,920 Would one of you fancy standing here with their finger on the end of this? 1127 00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:54,960 -[James] Not really. -[Jeremy] No. 1128 00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:57,000 Just try to explain so I can understand. 1129 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,000 It's come off. 1130 00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:02,120 The line from the petrol tank up to the engine goes to there... 1131 00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:04,880 So there must be a pipe from... Has it just snapped? 1132 00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,720 -[Richard] No, it's come undone. -[Jeremy] Why are you helping him? 1133 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,280 I want him to survive otherwise we can't see him as Buttons in the pantomime. 1134 00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:12,520 [Richard] Oh, please! 1135 00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:14,760 Stop it with the Buttons! 1136 00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:16,600 [James] Oh no we won't. 1137 00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:20,320 How long before he is appearing as Buttons at the Swindon Wyvern? 1138 00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:21,600 -One year. -[Richard] Please, stop! 1139 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:26,520 No, I think he's got enough pride to make him last two years. 1140 00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,040 So this one goes out in 2024, this programme, 1141 00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,800 so I think it'll be 2025. 1142 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:32,800 Possibly Guildford. 1143 00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,200 God, I'm soaked in petrol! 1144 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:36,360 Guildford's quite a big theatre, though. 1145 00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,640 I know... I think the Swindon Wyvern is where he's gonna be. 1146 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:39,920 It's about 200 people. 1147 00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:41,680 The cast, here it is. 1148 00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:44,520 Ainsley Harriott, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, 1149 00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,000 Julian Clary, Richard Hammond. 1150 00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,000 That is a star-studded line-up. 1151 00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,480 [James] "Gloria Hunniford and, it is a lot of 'and', Richard Hammond..." 1152 00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,280 [James and Jeremy] "As Buttons!" 1153 00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:54,280 [Richard laughing] 1154 00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:58,080 "Following his illustrious career travelling the globe." 1155 00:59:58,240 --> 00:59:59,680 [James] Will it say "TV's Richard Hammond"? 1156 00:59:59,840 --> 01:00:00,640 "TV's", yeah! 1157 01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:04,280 Because he's done enough programmes for him to be "TV's Richard Hammond." 1158 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,480 I tell you, Hammond, we're gonna come and see you. 1159 01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,200 -[James] I'm gonna say... -On your first night, 1160 01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,880 there will be two elderly gentlemen in the front row. 1161 01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:11,960 Every night. 1162 01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:16,680 I mean, I hate panto but I'm going to that one. 1163 01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,040 Think of the Premier Inn reward points you're going to get. 1164 01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,240 [Richard] Oh God! 1165 01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,800 [James] With the Sunday matinee, you can have the carvery special. 1166 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:23,800 [Jeremy laughing] 1167 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:26,960 [Jeremy] Predicting that this wouldn't be the last time 1168 01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,720 we'd be standing around a broken Capri, 1169 01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:33,120 I went to put on my anti-tsetse fly shirt. 1170 01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,920 And then, I spotted something in the undergrowth. 1171 01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:41,120 [Jeremy] Ooh, hello. Ooh! 1172 01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,840 I've got a bonnet ornament, guys. 1173 01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,920 Remember on the old Lancia? 1174 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:47,680 Oh wow. 1175 01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:49,080 Look at that. 1176 01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:51,080 -[Richard] That's brilliant. -I know. 1177 01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,600 [soft music] 1178 01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:56,640 [Jeremy] Eventually, Buttons was back on the road. 1179 01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:01,720 I'm just checking my fuel gauge. I lost a fair bit. 1180 01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,880 [Jeremy] And then, with 30 miles to go, 1181 01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:06,760 the washboard became so vicious... 1182 01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:09,120 -[thud] -[Richard grunting] Oh! 1183 01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,160 [Jeremy] It even started to play havoc 1184 01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,240 with the normally bulletproof Stag. 1185 01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:17,880 The windscreen wipers randomly come on. 1186 01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,320 Stop it, windscreen wipers! 1187 01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,040 [James grunting] 1188 01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:30,720 Stop wiping the windscreen, you stupid rubber bastards! 1189 01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:32,720 [windscreen wipers squeaking] 1190 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,240 [James] It was as if the washboard, 1191 01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:38,640 our nemesis for the last 20 years, 1192 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:42,080 knew it was its last chance to break us. 1193 01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:43,400 [rattling] 1194 01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:46,480 [Richard grunting] 1195 01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:48,760 -[clanking] -Ooh! 1196 01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,240 [tense music] 1197 01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:53,320 [rattling] 1198 01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,280 It's on full... Christ, what the hell's happened here? 1199 01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,120 I have no throttle control. 1200 01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,920 Yeah, my foot's not on the accelerator now 1201 01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:09,760 and we're just driving along. 1202 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,600 I've put it under the accelerator to lift it off. 1203 01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,040 [rattling and clanking] 1204 01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:19,040 This has properly, properly started to break my Lancia... 1205 01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:20,640 and me. 1206 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:24,120 Oh, God. Oh no! 1207 01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,000 [epic music] 1208 01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,800 [Jeremy] However, despite their great age, 1209 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,680 our cars held together until eventually... 1210 01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:37,760 we reached the banks of the Zambezi. 1211 01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:39,960 [Jeremy] Oh God. 1212 01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:44,520 [Jeremy] Where Mother Nature had laid on quite a reception. 1213 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:46,480 [soft music] 1214 01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:18,640 It's not a bad spot. 1215 01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,160 [Jeremy] After dinner, we had a lovely pudding. 1216 01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:27,120 Cheesecake. 1217 01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,400 [Jeremy] And, this being Zimbabwe... 1218 01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,640 Now, would you like some gold on it? 1219 01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:34,760 -Erm, yeah, I would actually. -[James] Oh, yes please. 1220 01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:36,600 [Jeremy] I got it when we were in Harare. 1221 01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:40,160 The great thing about it as well is you do a golden turd the next day. 1222 01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:41,120 -That's true. -And it becomes valuable. 1223 01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:46,200 This is just extravagant. Thanks, Hammond. 1224 01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:48,080 -I'm now worth more than I was. -May? 1225 01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:50,360 -[James] Yes, please. -[Jeremy] 'Cause if you think about it, 1226 01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,080 they grow everything here. And then you dig a hole in the ground 1227 01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:55,080 for your pudding, which is gold. 1228 01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:56,840 Hey, that gives me an idea. 1229 01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:00,560 -Why don't we melt our silver? -[James] Hmm. 1230 01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,280 And then we can make gift items to take home with us. 1231 01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:05,400 Out of our souvenir silver? 1232 01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,840 -Do you have to make a mould? -[James] Hmm. 1233 01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:11,320 Are you proposing that we do craft? 1234 01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:16,280 Well, what else can we do? It's 6:20. 1235 01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:17,640 Drinking is going well. 1236 01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,480 [Jeremy] Yes, drinking's good. But eventually... 1237 01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:23,920 you'll be wrestling a baboon. You always do that sort of thing. 1238 01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,080 [Jeremy] In a state of deep joy, 1239 01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:32,720 James quickly built all that we needed to start smelting our silver. 1240 01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:37,320 [Jeremy] He is Victorian. 1241 01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:42,040 -[softly] Very happy. -[whispering] So happy. 1242 01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:48,680 [Jeremy] And two small drinks later, things were looking good. 1243 01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:52,040 [James] There you go, chaps. Look at that. 1244 01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:53,040 [Jeremy] Holy cow! 1245 01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:58,240 So now we can make anything. Literally anything that we can cast. 1246 01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:01,480 -Yes, so you make a hole in something. -[Richard] Yes? 1247 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:04,280 Pour that in, let it solidify. 1248 01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:07,160 -And then you've got a thing in silver. -[Jeremy] Right! 1249 01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:10,480 Come on, then. Gentlemen, let's get to work. 1250 01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:14,560 I'll mend my throttle, then I'll make something silvery. 1251 01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:19,320 Actually, no, I'll make the mould, put the silver in it, let it solidify. 1252 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,160 -[James] Exactly. -And while it's solidifying, 1253 01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:22,800 I'll mend my throttle linkage. 1254 01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:26,040 Welcome to a world of ordered thinking. 1255 01:05:37,720 --> 01:05:38,600 [Jeremy] The next morning, 1256 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:42,720 the banks of the Zambezi were carpeted with many different animals... 1257 01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:45,800 and Roger Moore. 1258 01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:49,360 [Jeremy] Have you had that made? 1259 01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:50,400 [Richard] Yep. 1260 01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:52,160 And whose measurements did you send? 1261 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:55,160 -[Jeremy] Jon Bon Jovi's. -[Richard] I was a little ambitious. 1262 01:05:55,320 --> 01:05:58,120 You know how it is, when the doctor says, how many units of alcohol do you drink 1263 01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,520 and when somebody says: "What are your measurements?" 1264 01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:03,440 "Definitely thirty-inch waist, forty-inch chest." I lied. 1265 01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,240 Have you noticed what he's done here? 1266 01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:09,760 -Very flamboyant buttons. -[James] Buttons, yes. 1267 01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:12,600 It's like he's easing himself into the role. 1268 01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:17,040 Can we just move on from his sartorial faux pas? 1269 01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:18,680 [James] Isn't it magnificent? 1270 01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:20,080 [Jeremy] Is that what you made out of your silver? 1271 01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:21,800 -[James] Oh, yeah. -[Richard] That's startling. 1272 01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,640 Why has nobody... Well. I wonder why nobody's done that before. 1273 01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:28,000 Your steering wheel's actually a solid-silver steering wheel! 1274 01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:30,200 That's another £900,000. 1275 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,200 I mean, it does look pretty cool, doesn't it? 1276 01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:34,880 But, talking of bling. Bonnet ornament. 1277 01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:36,880 -[James] Is it the bonnet? -[Richard] It's not on the bonnet though. 1278 01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:39,560 [Jeremy] It is on-- But you see-- Ah, but it is the bonnet. 1279 01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:43,280 [Richard] This is at the back. Does it become an engine cover, not a bonnet? 1280 01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:45,920 -You can't say "engine cover ornament". -No, you can't. 1281 01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,040 -[Richard] I love it. It looks brilliant. -[Jeremy] I mean, look at that. 1282 01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:51,760 That is an impala on a Montecarlo. 1283 01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:53,800 So I'm basically a Chevrolet advertisement. 1284 01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,160 Isn't it remarkable what makes sense in our world? 1285 01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:58,120 -What? -That doesn't. 1286 01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:01,200 -[James] I saw it as I looked up then. -[Richard] Check it out. Come on. 1287 01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:03,680 Stuart Little spoiler, ladies and gentlemen. 1288 01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:06,840 [Richard] Oh, the width, yeah. That's all the silver I had. 1289 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:09,400 It's quite-- It's Stuart Little spoiler! 1290 01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:11,120 [Jeremy chuckles] 1291 01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,360 Anyway... 1292 01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:13,960 we now have 1293 01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:15,400 silver adornments 1294 01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:16,960 to our cars. 1295 01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:19,320 -Can I make a suggestion? -[James] Hmm? 1296 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:20,960 Keep the river on your right. 1297 01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:22,640 It's not navigationally challenging, is it? 1298 01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:24,040 Navigation is not a problem today. 1299 01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:25,960 -And we know we are heading West. -[Richard] Yes. 1300 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:30,120 And we know if we keep heading West, we'll get to the other side of Zimbabwe. 1301 01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,720 And we know we're gonna look good doing it! 1302 01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:35,480 [soft rock music] 1303 01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:46,360 [engine revving] 1304 01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:53,880 [engine roaring] 1305 01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,080 [chuckling] 1306 01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:05,080 [Jeremy] A big skid! 1307 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,680 A big skid on the Zambezi. 1308 01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:15,640 That might be my last-ever televised skid. 1309 01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:17,680 It's strange when you think about it, 1310 01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:21,279 because everybody does everything in their life 1311 01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:23,560 for the last time at some point. 1312 01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:25,120 The last time you dive off a boat. 1313 01:08:25,279 --> 01:08:26,720 The last time you kick a football. 1314 01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:30,000 The last time you do sex. 1315 01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:33,319 But you don't know, when you're doing it, 1316 01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:35,680 that you're doing it for the last time. 1317 01:08:39,399 --> 01:08:41,800 So I shall remember that skid. 1318 01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:46,720 [Jeremy] After a spirited morning drive... 1319 01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:48,680 [upbeat music] 1320 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:50,800 we got back on tarmac. 1321 01:08:53,399 --> 01:08:56,560 Which had yellow lines and everything. 1322 01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:00,279 This is like the Stelvio Pass. 1323 01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,040 What a road! 1324 01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:10,160 [Jeremy] And the little Montecarlo was lapping it up. 1325 01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:11,960 I've said it before, 1326 01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:16,000 if you absolutely must do African exploration, 1327 01:09:16,160 --> 01:09:20,279 you absolutely must have a Lancia. 1328 01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:23,800 Oh, it's jumped out of gear. 1329 01:09:24,319 --> 01:09:26,279 Oh, God, it's back in again. 1330 01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:32,920 Still popping and banging nicely from the back. Can you hear that? 1331 01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:35,520 [Jeremy rumbling] 1332 01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:37,920 [rumbling] 1333 01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:39,200 Love that sound. 1334 01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:43,520 And all you lot growing up today with your electric cars, 1335 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:45,399 you're never gonna hear it. 1336 01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:47,399 [engine roaring] 1337 01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:50,880 There are lots of reasons why we're jacking this show in. 1338 01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,600 But for me, one of the main ones is: 1339 01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:57,920 I'm simply not interested in electric cars. 1340 01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:00,240 They are just white goods. 1341 01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:03,520 They're washing machines. They're microwave ovens. 1342 01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,320 And you can't review those. You can't enjoy them. 1343 01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:09,000 They are just shit. 1344 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:14,440 [James on radio] Chaps, I've done something for the first time in my life. 1345 01:10:14,640 --> 01:10:16,600 [Jeremy on radio] Masturbated on television? 1346 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:20,760 No, it's worse. I've put on a pair of string-back driving gloves. 1347 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,560 Why have you done that? 1348 01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:25,680 My silver-bling steering wheel is great. 1349 01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,160 But now the sun's on it, it gets a bit hot. 1350 01:10:28,320 --> 01:10:30,240 [laughing] 1351 01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:35,680 [Jeremy] We carried on driving along the lovely road 1352 01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:40,200 until the lovely road suddenly stopped. 1353 01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:42,760 Erm... 1354 01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:44,880 Oh. 1355 01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:46,840 [tense music] 1356 01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:54,400 Hmm. 1357 01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:01,440 [Richard] You total plum sack. 1358 01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:02,560 [Jeremy] It's a lake. 1359 01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:03,520 -[Richard] Yes. -[James] Is it? 1360 01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:05,280 -[Jeremy] Well, I saw it on-- -[James] You're kidding? 1361 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:06,880 [Jeremy] I saw it on the map. 1362 01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:10,640 I just assumed there'd be a road round it and there isn't. 1363 01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:12,560 Erm... 1364 01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:14,800 Why isn't there a road round it? 1365 01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:16,760 [Richard] Oh, God. 1366 01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:19,920 So, wait a minute. You went wrong in Harare. Let's establish that. 1367 01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:23,240 You chose the wrong road. There were only two, you chose the wrong one. 1368 01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:25,800 You then doggedly made us-- 1369 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:28,680 [Jeremy] Beautiful bit, like the Nürburgring, that last bit. 1370 01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:32,280 Nice bit at the end. But it turned out to be the end. 1371 01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:42,760 We can't turn right because literally, just there, it's Zambia. 1372 01:11:42,920 --> 01:11:44,200 -[James] Mm-hmm. -[Richard] Yes. 1373 01:11:44,720 --> 01:11:47,000 -We can't go left. -'Cause there isn't a road. 1374 01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,160 -There isn't a road. -Yes. 1375 01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:50,320 [Jeremy] So... 1376 01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:53,800 -We'll just float across. -Don't be ridiculous. 1377 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:58,320 Honestly, we've done enough car boats, boat cars, flasks, floating. 1378 01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:01,520 We're not building boats. It never works. 1379 01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:05,000 I've got a better idea: buy a boat. Buy three boats. 1380 01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:07,200 -We've got to get the cars on. -[Jeremy] Yes, exactly. 1381 01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:09,680 -Buy boats? -They've got boats. Look. 1382 01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:11,920 -[Richard] They're peoples' boats. -[Jeremy] Well, we'll buy them. 1383 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:13,840 I've got a wedge. 1384 01:12:14,520 --> 01:12:15,520 Ten trillion. 1385 01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:17,360 -Fifty billion? -[Richard] Yeah, why not? 1386 01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:19,320 [James] Yeah, I'll have another fifty billion. 1387 01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:22,160 A hundred billion. Three hundred and fifty billion. 1388 01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:24,240 -Four hundred billion. -[Jeremy laughs] 1389 01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:28,240 Ten trillion four hundred billion and twenty. 1390 01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:31,200 -[Jeremy and Richard laughing] -[James] This is absolutely idiotic. 1391 01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:32,560 Right. Boat buying. 1392 01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:33,760 [upbeat music] 1393 01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:41,240 [Richard] Having spent the morning rootling around the local boatyards, 1394 01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:43,360 we reconvened with our purchases. 1395 01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:48,000 James had gone for an old sardine fishing boat. 1396 01:12:49,360 --> 01:12:51,880 I'd bought an aquatic hatchback. 1397 01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,760 And Jeremy, naturally, 1398 01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:57,920 had purchased a floating drinks cabinet. 1399 01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:00,320 [Richard] You've bought a bar. 1400 01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:02,280 -It's also the bridge. -Oh, I see! 1401 01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:04,880 [Jeremy] You steer it from the bar. 1402 01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:07,920 [Richard] Once we'd loaded up our cars... 1403 01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:11,840 [Jeremy laughing] 1404 01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:13,920 [panting] 1405 01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:15,160 [Richard] To me! 1406 01:13:15,320 --> 01:13:19,120 [Richard] We assembled on HMS Sardine for a map chat. 1407 01:13:20,320 --> 01:13:22,040 [Richard] Are they nautical charts? 1408 01:13:22,200 --> 01:13:23,600 No, it's a road map. 1409 01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:25,520 Right, we're going to sea with a road map. 1410 01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:27,560 -So here's the lake. -Yes. 1411 01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:29,000 We're going to... 1412 01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:33,000 What? 1413 01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:36,080 -Here's the lake. -[Richard] Yes. Here's the lake. 1414 01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:42,000 -[Richard] What's that? -[James] Bloody hell. 1415 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,800 That's the rest. 1416 01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:45,320 Yes. 1417 01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:47,680 That goes to there. 1418 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:49,160 Okay. 1419 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,440 It's about 180 miles. 1420 01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:53,920 It's a 175 miles. 1421 01:13:54,080 --> 01:13:55,200 That's all right, then! 1422 01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:57,720 Right, thank God we haven't got to do that extra 5 miles. 1423 01:13:57,880 --> 01:14:00,840 It's the world's largest man-made lake. 1424 01:14:02,560 --> 01:14:04,040 I am genuinely sorry about this. 1425 01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,880 I had looked at-- Look, you can see the problem. 1426 01:14:07,040 --> 01:14:09,200 We've driven all the way, I've just been using this side of the map. 1427 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:12,200 No, no, no, Jeremy, we can see the problem. 1428 01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:13,640 It's there, pointing at the map. 1429 01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:15,640 -[James] The map is accurate. -There's no problem with the map. 1430 01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:18,320 -You didn't look at the other side. -But it was all folded up in such a way 1431 01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:19,720 that you didn't see... 1432 01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:21,960 How fast does your boat go? 1433 01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:23,880 Well, I don't know yet. But not very I'm gonna guess. 1434 01:14:24,080 --> 01:14:26,760 I think we're talking about a brisk walk. 1435 01:14:26,920 --> 01:14:29,080 Even if they do ten knots, which I doubt-- 1436 01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:32,800 Let's say 10 miles an hour. That's eighteen hours. 1437 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:34,400 That's overnight. 1438 01:14:35,040 --> 01:14:35,840 Yes. 1439 01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:39,400 [Jeremy] I then did a bit more research. 1440 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,880 And that wasn't a great move either. 1441 01:14:42,280 --> 01:14:43,320 It gets worse. 1442 01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:44,840 Why? 1443 01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:47,320 [Jeremy] Guess how many crocodiles are in that lake? 1444 01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:48,960 [Richard] I don't know. 1445 01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:53,960 Somewhere between one hundred and two hundred and fifty thousand. 1446 01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,160 [Richard] Crocodiles? 1447 01:14:57,320 --> 01:14:59,400 [Jeremy] Two weeks ago, they had to shoot a man-eater. 1448 01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,080 Would you like to see it? 1449 01:15:03,680 --> 01:15:04,440 [James] Jeez, that is... 1450 01:15:04,640 --> 01:15:05,680 [Richard] Look at it! 1451 01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:08,120 -[James] Can they be this big? -[Richard] It could eat this boat. 1452 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:13,320 On average, 47 people a year are killed by crocodiles. 1453 01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:16,720 And there aren't that many people here, to start with. 1454 01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,840 [tense rock music] 1455 01:15:23,280 --> 01:15:24,840 [Jeremy] On that sombre note, 1456 01:15:26,120 --> 01:15:27,520 we set off... 1457 01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,920 HMS Shitfaced is underway. 1458 01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:39,240 [Jeremy] Under the watchful eye of the lake's residents. 1459 01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:46,080 I think of this not so much as water as just a solid lump of crocodiles. 1460 01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:48,000 [rock music continues] 1461 01:15:54,440 --> 01:15:57,560 Right. Safety checks complete. 1462 01:15:58,200 --> 01:15:59,840 There's only one thing I can think to do. 1463 01:16:02,320 --> 01:16:04,920 I believe Jeremy's already poured himself a drink. 1464 01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:09,120 -[bang] -Mr Slowly driving HMS Eco. 1465 01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,080 [engine sputtering loudly] 1466 01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:18,960 What a bloody racket! 1467 01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:27,440 It's extraordinary to think that in 1955, 1468 01:16:28,240 --> 01:16:30,280 this didn't exist, it was just normal Africa. 1469 01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:34,960 Then the British came and said : "We're gonna build a dam across the Zambezi 1470 01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:40,240 to create hydroelectric power for Zambia and Zimbabwe." 1471 01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:42,800 And this was the result. 1472 01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:44,320 [soft music] 1473 01:16:50,440 --> 01:16:54,080 The biggest man-made lake the world has ever seen. 1474 01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:12,160 We've done some daft things in our time, but I'm really enjoying this one. 1475 01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:15,520 I'm sailing a bar with a Lancia on it. 1476 01:17:16,560 --> 01:17:19,640 And I've got a lot of drink to get through. 1477 01:17:21,320 --> 01:17:25,960 [Jeremy] So much, in fact, that I invited Buttons and Greta Thunberg over... 1478 01:17:26,120 --> 01:17:27,440 [engine sputtering] 1479 01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:29,040 ...to share the workload. 1480 01:17:30,560 --> 01:17:31,880 -[Jeremy] Gentlemen. -[James] I like the look of that. 1481 01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:34,960 I've a wide range of drinks from the 1970s, 1482 01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:37,800 including the much-missed Galliano. 1483 01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,120 -[James] Nice. -[Richard] Nice. A step back in time. 1484 01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,720 -A gin and tonic, sir? -I would love a gin and tonic, thank you. 1485 01:17:42,880 --> 01:17:45,160 Coming right up. And you, sir? A Chablis, I'm guessing. 1486 01:17:46,360 --> 01:17:47,320 [cork popping] 1487 01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:48,440 [James] Thank you. 1488 01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:50,320 Ice and a slice of gold, perhaps? 1489 01:17:50,520 --> 01:17:52,200 [Richard] Ice and a slice of gold would be wonderful. 1490 01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,320 So if you go in that water, basically, you are going to be eaten by a crocodile. 1491 01:17:58,560 --> 01:17:59,320 -[Jeremy] Yeah. -[James] Yeah. 1492 01:17:59,520 --> 01:18:04,160 And I can't think of a death I would enjoy less. 1493 01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:07,240 Yeah, it's not the agony, actually. Well, no. 1494 01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:09,760 -It is the agony. But it's the indignity. -[Richard] It is the agony. 1495 01:18:09,960 --> 01:18:11,640 It's ignominium. 1496 01:18:11,840 --> 01:18:15,520 Crocodile comes along. You're there, dangling your feet in the water, 1497 01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:19,520 thinking about life, filled with hopes, expectations, loves, dreams, 1498 01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:21,200 thoughts of the universe. 1499 01:18:21,360 --> 01:18:24,640 Crocodile says: "I'll have that." Bang. Gone. 1500 01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:26,720 -You know peanuts on a bar? -[Richard] Yeah. 1501 01:18:26,880 --> 01:18:28,960 You're having a drink with some friends and you see some peanuts. 1502 01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:31,120 You take a couple of peanuts and you-- 1503 01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:32,720 That is what you are. 1504 01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:34,920 [James] Do you know what makes it worse? 1505 01:18:35,120 --> 01:18:36,560 A crocodile is prehistoric. 1506 01:18:36,720 --> 01:18:38,640 So it was mates with T-Rex. 1507 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,840 It's two 250 million years old. 1508 01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:43,880 And humanity's what? 150, 200 thousand? 1509 01:18:44,080 --> 01:18:47,800 And civilisation is only about 6,000 years old. 1510 01:18:47,960 --> 01:18:50,400 So everything from the first cave paintings to the present day, 1511 01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:53,600 in the timespan of evolution, 1512 01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:56,520 that has all happened while the crocodile has been scratching its arse. 1513 01:18:56,680 --> 01:19:00,800 [Jeremy] After an hour or so of drinking and chatting and sailing, 1514 01:19:00,960 --> 01:19:02,560 but mostly drinking, 1515 01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:06,320 the conversation started to take a bit of a dip. 1516 01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:07,840 [Jeremy] I've got 1517 01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:10,080 three quarters of a bottle of vodka, 1518 01:19:10,240 --> 01:19:12,600 half a bottle of gin. No. No, that's not gin. 1519 01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:14,280 What is that? I don't know. I can't see. 1520 01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:17,120 This is a blended brandy. 1521 01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:19,560 -And I also have here a blended whisky. -Hammond, your boat's buggered off. 1522 01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:23,920 [Richard] That's got my passport on it. 1523 01:19:24,600 --> 01:19:26,200 -[James] Shall I go? -[Jeremy] You're going to have 1524 01:19:26,360 --> 01:19:27,320 to leave my bar. 1525 01:19:27,520 --> 01:19:29,560 [James] Do you want to come with me, Hammond, or stay here? 1526 01:19:29,720 --> 01:19:31,040 [Richard] This is more manoeuvrable. 1527 01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:33,440 So we'll manoeuvre this up to mine and I'll get off this onto mine. 1528 01:19:33,680 --> 01:19:35,840 [engine sputtering] 1529 01:19:36,040 --> 01:19:38,720 [Jeremy] Right, now, here we go. International Rescue. 1530 01:19:38,920 --> 01:19:40,960 [Richard] Please, catch my Capri. 1531 01:19:41,120 --> 01:19:42,880 [Jeremy] I'll give it my best work. 1532 01:19:46,640 --> 01:19:47,640 Don't fall in the water. 1533 01:19:47,840 --> 01:19:49,440 [Richard] Crocodiles. Definite death. 1534 01:19:49,640 --> 01:19:50,600 [panting] 1535 01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:51,680 [Richard] I left the gin. 1536 01:19:51,840 --> 01:19:52,960 Would you like another one before you go? 1537 01:19:53,160 --> 01:19:54,440 I'd bloody love one, yes. 1538 01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:56,280 [soft music] 1539 01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,560 [Jeremy] We continued with our long journey. 1540 01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:02,680 And as darkness fell, 1541 01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:05,800 we realised we were a bit peckish. 1542 01:20:09,080 --> 01:20:10,720 So, to catch some supper, 1543 01:20:10,880 --> 01:20:13,400 James lowered his sardine nets. 1544 01:20:15,840 --> 01:20:16,640 [James] And... 1545 01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:20,360 There we are at depth. 1546 01:20:20,560 --> 01:20:23,520 I don't mind if it isn't sardines, if it's just like general fish, 1547 01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:24,680 but I'd really like sardines. 1548 01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:28,720 [James] Well, it should be sardines. This is a sardine boat. 1549 01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:36,320 Here we go. 1550 01:20:40,920 --> 01:20:41,800 Bollocks. 1551 01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:45,640 [Richard] I'm starving. 1552 01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:48,560 -[James] I know, I'm starving as well. -[Richard] No, I'm beyond hungry. 1553 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:52,960 It's crisps, isn't it? 1554 01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:54,800 -It's crisps. -[Richard] It's crisps. 1555 01:20:55,560 --> 01:20:58,920 [Jeremy] And, as if things couldn't get any worse... 1556 01:21:00,960 --> 01:21:02,920 I've now run out of ice. 1557 01:21:03,920 --> 01:21:05,160 [soft music] 1558 01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:12,840 [Jeremy] So, we recharged our glasses with warm drink. 1559 01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:15,160 And, fuelled by that, 1560 01:21:15,320 --> 01:21:18,520 crisps and some wistful memories, 1561 01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:21,120 we sailed on. 1562 01:21:24,440 --> 01:21:26,120 It's gonna be a long night. 1563 01:21:28,320 --> 01:21:29,600 Not our first. 1564 01:21:29,960 --> 01:21:32,080 Ordinarily, I'd say not our last. 1565 01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:35,040 Maybe it is. 1566 01:21:36,320 --> 01:21:38,880 Oh, stop saying those things, Richard. 1567 01:21:39,280 --> 01:21:41,280 [soft music continues] 1568 01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:47,080 [sighing] 1569 01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:49,680 [chuckling] 1570 01:21:54,640 --> 01:21:56,680 What a job this has been. 1571 01:21:57,040 --> 01:21:58,320 What a career. 1572 01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:25,160 [bottles clanking] 1573 01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,920 [yawning] Sorry. 1574 01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:47,320 That was a long night. A very long night. 1575 01:22:47,520 --> 01:22:49,000 [engine sputtering] 1576 01:22:56,440 --> 01:22:59,560 I'm deaf. 1577 01:23:01,280 --> 01:23:04,640 [James] There was, however, some good news. 1578 01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:08,240 The little blue dot, that's us. 1579 01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:11,400 We are nearing the end of the lake. 1580 01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:14,840 [Jeremy] And because we were nearing shore, 1581 01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:18,320 we were surrounded by our chompy friends, 1582 01:23:19,760 --> 01:23:23,400 which made the sudden message from our director on our camera tracking boat 1583 01:23:24,080 --> 01:23:25,520 all the more alarming. 1584 01:23:26,160 --> 01:23:27,520 [director on radio] Phil to Hammond. 1585 01:23:27,680 --> 01:23:31,040 You've got a problem with your boat. Your boat is sinking, Hammond. 1586 01:23:31,240 --> 01:23:33,320 [Jeremy on radio] Shit, you are. You're going down at the stern, Hammond. 1587 01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:35,160 -[director on radio] Go to the shore. -What? 1588 01:23:35,320 --> 01:23:36,600 Give it some power, full power. 1589 01:23:39,560 --> 01:23:44,280 [director on radio] To the left, to the left. Copy that. To the left. 1590 01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:47,560 [director talking indistinctly on radio] 1591 01:23:47,760 --> 01:23:48,920 Repeat. 1592 01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:53,120 [director on radio] To the left. To the left. 1593 01:23:53,280 --> 01:23:54,880 [Jeremy on radio] You are definitely going down, mate. 1594 01:23:55,040 --> 01:23:57,160 You are definitely going down. 1595 01:23:57,320 --> 01:23:59,240 [Richard on radio] Yeah, my engine's going under. 1596 01:24:01,600 --> 01:24:03,080 Ramming speed. 1597 01:24:03,280 --> 01:24:04,720 [tense music] 1598 01:24:05,840 --> 01:24:06,640 [boat clanking] 1599 01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:11,440 [boat rumbling] 1600 01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:18,000 [engine revving] 1601 01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:20,200 [Jeremy on radio] Right, you've saved the Capri. 1602 01:24:20,360 --> 01:24:23,200 Sorry, I've only just heard, 'cause of the noise of the engine. 1603 01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:24,400 What's happened? 1604 01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:27,800 [Jeremy on radio] His boat, if you look, it was definitely sinking from the rear. 1605 01:24:27,960 --> 01:24:31,560 The whole of the back of his pontoons were underwater. 1606 01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:33,360 [Richard on radio] Do not try and come in here. 1607 01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:36,280 Because I came over sandbanks. 1608 01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:38,200 I literally just hammered straight over 1609 01:24:38,360 --> 01:24:39,840 low ground to get here. 1610 01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:44,880 [Jeremy] James and I arrived at another spot along the shore. 1611 01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,040 There's a ramp. 1612 01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:49,640 [Jeremy] And once we'd all disembarked... 1613 01:24:49,840 --> 01:24:52,600 -[thud] -[Jeremy sighs] I've definitely arrived. 1614 01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:55,160 [Jeremy] I called another map meeting, 1615 01:24:55,320 --> 01:24:59,560 because during the night, I had had a brainwave. 1616 01:25:00,320 --> 01:25:01,800 So we've just come across Kariba. 1617 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:02,960 [Richard] Yep. 1618 01:25:03,720 --> 01:25:05,680 [Jeremy] When we reach the border here and cross it, 1619 01:25:06,400 --> 01:25:09,080 we have gone all the way across Zimbabwe, 1620 01:25:09,240 --> 01:25:10,600 which is what we set out to do, 1621 01:25:10,760 --> 01:25:11,840 and we finish the programme. 1622 01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:13,440 -[Richard] Yeah. -Well done, us. 1623 01:25:13,640 --> 01:25:15,920 In our three improbable cars. 1624 01:25:16,120 --> 01:25:16,920 However, 1625 01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:20,040 on the other side of the border is Botswana. 1626 01:25:20,760 --> 01:25:23,200 So, if you just turn the map over, 1627 01:25:23,320 --> 01:25:24,800 -which I've learnt to do now. -Well done. 1628 01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:25,840 -Oh yes. -Good technique. 1629 01:25:26,320 --> 01:25:29,520 [Jeremy] If you look, this is the Makgadikgadi, yeah? Salt pans. 1630 01:25:29,680 --> 01:25:31,320 And there is Kubu Island. 1631 01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:33,640 And that is where we began. 1632 01:25:33,800 --> 01:25:35,680 That's where we did our very first special, 1633 01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:38,200 -17 years ago. -[Richard] Wow. 1634 01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:42,840 [Jeremy] We've always said this is one of our favourite places anywhere 1635 01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:44,040 we've ever encountered. 1636 01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:46,000 -And it's where the baobab trees are. -[Jeremy and James] Yeah. 1637 01:25:46,200 --> 01:25:48,880 -I'd like to finish there. -[Richard] Yeah, I think that's right. 1638 01:25:49,080 --> 01:25:51,680 And it's only-- That's only... Woah. 1639 01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:53,360 -It's a hundred K. -120 miles or so. 1640 01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:54,640 -Yeah. -I'm up for that. 1641 01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:56,960 [Jeremy] So we end this programme here, 1642 01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:00,360 and we wrap The Grand Tour up there. 1643 01:26:00,560 --> 01:26:03,160 [Richard] I think that's a tremendous idea. It's fitting. 1644 01:26:03,560 --> 01:26:05,120 [rock music] 1645 01:26:06,760 --> 01:26:08,320 [James] With our new plan agreed on, 1646 01:26:08,440 --> 01:26:12,920 we set a course for the border, feeling pretty good. 1647 01:26:15,080 --> 01:26:17,720 Well, this is wonderful, viewers. We're back on proper tarmac. 1648 01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:21,280 The sun isn't above my head yet, so my steering wheel hasn't heated up. 1649 01:26:21,720 --> 01:26:23,120 I love this moment. 1650 01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:25,360 [music continues] 1651 01:26:29,040 --> 01:26:30,240 [Richard laughing] Boot? 1652 01:26:34,400 --> 01:26:39,240 [James] But, a couple of miles later, the jolliness came to an abrupt end. 1653 01:26:39,400 --> 01:26:40,760 [thud] 1654 01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:41,760 [James] Jeez. 1655 01:26:41,960 --> 01:26:43,120 [panting] 1656 01:26:46,160 --> 01:26:48,120 Oh, God, this is gonna be pothole hell. 1657 01:26:48,320 --> 01:26:50,520 [bumping] 1658 01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:52,960 [Jeremy] Oh no! 1659 01:26:53,440 --> 01:26:55,560 I don't believe my tyres survived that one. 1660 01:26:56,080 --> 01:26:59,600 [Richard] The potholes, which were nearly as bad as the ones in England, 1661 01:26:59,760 --> 01:27:03,360 were not good news for the most fragile car here. 1662 01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:05,320 [thud] 1663 01:27:05,560 --> 01:27:07,560 Oh, shit. 1664 01:27:08,680 --> 01:27:10,240 [thud continues] 1665 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:12,440 [Richard panting] 1666 01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:14,360 [loud thud] 1667 01:27:14,600 --> 01:27:15,640 [Richard panting] 1668 01:27:17,080 --> 01:27:17,920 Ooh! 1669 01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:19,440 Oh, shit. 1670 01:27:20,560 --> 01:27:21,960 I am, for the first time, 1671 01:27:22,160 --> 01:27:25,880 seriously starting to wonder if this car can take it... 1672 01:27:26,760 --> 01:27:28,240 and if it's gonna get there. 1673 01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:30,360 [gasping] 1674 01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:32,680 -[loud thud] -Bugger. 1675 01:27:35,480 --> 01:27:37,600 [Richard on radio] There's something very much amiss 1676 01:27:37,800 --> 01:27:39,240 on the rear axle. 1677 01:27:40,000 --> 01:27:42,120 [James on radio] Sounds like a bag of cutlery. 1678 01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:43,880 [Richard on radio] I hate to say I think I should just 1679 01:27:44,080 --> 01:27:47,680 have a quick look just to make sure the back axle's not gonna come off. 1680 01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:53,880 [Richard] The news from underneath my car wasn't good. 1681 01:27:54,080 --> 01:27:55,000 [Richard] Right. 1682 01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:56,600 [Richard panting] 1683 01:27:56,760 --> 01:27:57,560 There. 1684 01:27:58,560 --> 01:28:00,280 That's one shock absorber. 1685 01:28:00,440 --> 01:28:04,040 -It's not connected at that end any more. -[James] Yes, I see the problem, sir. 1686 01:28:04,200 --> 01:28:07,200 [Richard] Every time the axle comes up, that was going up, 1687 01:28:07,360 --> 01:28:08,480 punching a hole in the body. 1688 01:28:08,640 --> 01:28:10,400 -Have you actually made holes? -[Richard] Yes. 1689 01:28:10,600 --> 01:28:12,200 So, I'm gonna have to run without it. 1690 01:28:12,600 --> 01:28:14,920 This young guy is saying that if it had been him, 1691 01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:18,480 he would have bought the 2.8 Injection, not the three-litre GXL. 1692 01:28:18,640 --> 01:28:20,360 -[Richard] Is that-- Is he? -Yeah. 1693 01:28:21,240 --> 01:28:22,680 He says it's got a much stronger axle. 1694 01:28:23,120 --> 01:28:24,360 [Richard panting] 1695 01:28:24,560 --> 01:28:28,920 [Richard] Annoyingly, the other shock absorber had to come off as well. 1696 01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:31,520 [Jeremy] So you're just running on leaf springs, yeah? 1697 01:28:31,680 --> 01:28:32,480 Yeah. 1698 01:28:32,680 --> 01:28:35,240 Like, it is exactly the same as a medieval ox cart. 1699 01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:36,200 [Richard] Yeah. 1700 01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:38,520 [upbeat music] 1701 01:28:40,280 --> 01:28:41,760 [James] For Jeremy and me, though, 1702 01:28:41,920 --> 01:28:46,120 it was much more entertaining than a medieval ox cart. 1703 01:28:46,320 --> 01:28:47,840 [Richard screaming] 1704 01:28:48,760 --> 01:28:51,200 [screaming continues] 1705 01:28:51,720 --> 01:28:53,960 [James laughing] 1706 01:28:54,160 --> 01:28:55,600 I'm gonna crash! 1707 01:28:55,760 --> 01:28:57,040 [laughing] 1708 01:28:59,920 --> 01:29:03,040 Well, if you wanted to know what a shock absorber does, 1709 01:29:03,240 --> 01:29:05,240 it stops cars doing that. 1710 01:29:05,440 --> 01:29:06,320 [screaming] 1711 01:29:06,520 --> 01:29:09,960 [Richard] Oh, yeah. I'm still in it. 1712 01:29:10,160 --> 01:29:11,000 [laughing] 1713 01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:14,760 [James] Representing Great Britain in car trampoline, 1714 01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:17,320 it's Richard Hammond from Ross-on-Wye. 1715 01:29:19,480 --> 01:29:23,240 [James] Sadly, the Ford's space-hopper entertainment soon came to an end, 1716 01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:25,960 because Zimbabwe changed again 1717 01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:28,200 and we could no longer see it. 1718 01:29:28,400 --> 01:29:30,560 [tense music] 1719 01:29:32,360 --> 01:29:33,720 [James coughing] 1720 01:29:33,880 --> 01:29:34,800 [James] Smoke. 1721 01:29:34,960 --> 01:29:36,240 [coughing continues] 1722 01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:38,800 God. 1723 01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:41,120 [Richard coughing] I can't breathe. 1724 01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:47,760 [Jeremy] All right, so, everything's now covered with a veneer of coal dust, 1725 01:29:48,480 --> 01:29:51,040 because we're in the coal-mining area. 1726 01:29:53,280 --> 01:29:56,680 That's why all the trees and everything are black. 1727 01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:59,120 Oh, come on. 1728 01:30:00,320 --> 01:30:01,160 Come on. 1729 01:30:01,360 --> 01:30:03,400 [tense music continues] 1730 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:07,280 If it's like this all the way to the border, well, Jesus. 1731 01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:11,680 [Jeremy] Then, through the choking dust, 1732 01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:15,560 I spotted what could be our salvation. 1733 01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:24,080 This road is intolerable. Would you not agree? 1734 01:30:24,240 --> 01:30:25,800 It's quite bad. It's not the best. 1735 01:30:25,960 --> 01:30:28,440 [Jeremy] Since we got off the boats this morning, 1736 01:30:28,600 --> 01:30:31,120 I have been shaken to pieces. 1737 01:30:31,320 --> 01:30:32,960 My car is falling to pieces. 1738 01:30:33,160 --> 01:30:35,840 That's a particularly virulent type of dust as well. 1739 01:30:36,480 --> 01:30:37,840 And I'm looking at this. 1740 01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:42,560 -Well, that's not bumpy, is it? -[Richard] Well, no, it's a railway line. 1741 01:30:42,760 --> 01:30:46,840 So why don't we convert our cars to run on the railway lines? 1742 01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:48,080 We've done it before. 1743 01:30:48,240 --> 01:30:49,720 -Ah, yes. -We've done it before. 1744 01:30:49,920 --> 01:30:52,280 -[James] Yes, we have. -What other group of blokes 1745 01:30:52,480 --> 01:30:54,560 can actually say with experience 1746 01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:56,520 -that it can be done? We've done it. -[Jeremy] We've done it. 1747 01:30:57,760 --> 01:31:00,120 We'd have to check the train timetables. 1748 01:31:00,840 --> 01:31:02,560 That sort of thing's really important. 1749 01:31:02,720 --> 01:31:06,280 We'd also need to find a workshop where we could make the modifications necessary 1750 01:31:06,480 --> 01:31:07,440 to our cars. 1751 01:31:07,640 --> 01:31:08,920 [Richard] Yeah, we'd need a big town and a lot of machinery. 1752 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,720 -[Jeremy] Well, Vic Falls isn't far away. -[honking] 1753 01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:12,440 Oh. 1754 01:31:15,440 --> 01:31:16,400 [director] It's not one of ours. 1755 01:31:16,600 --> 01:31:18,840 -[Jeremy] Oh, shit. -[all laughing] 1756 01:31:21,840 --> 01:31:24,320 [Richard] Carry on. They're quite pleased anyway. 1757 01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:26,040 [James] Right, so you've called some locals knob heads. 1758 01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:28,000 -I just called him a dickhead. -[James] Yeah. 1759 01:31:28,200 --> 01:31:30,120 And they're coming out to beat the crap out of you. 1760 01:31:30,320 --> 01:31:31,280 [Richard] Hello. How are you guys? 1761 01:31:31,440 --> 01:31:33,760 -[Jeremy] Hi, everybody. -[James] He said you're the knob heads. 1762 01:31:33,960 --> 01:31:36,640 [Jeremy] This traditional English greeting... 1763 01:31:36,800 --> 01:31:38,720 [man in an orange shirt] That's fine. This is your home. 1764 01:31:38,880 --> 01:31:40,440 -[Jeremy] Hey. How are you? -[Richard] Nice to see you. 1765 01:31:40,600 --> 01:31:42,040 [Jeremy] Good to meet you. 1766 01:31:42,240 --> 01:31:45,400 [James] Once Kofi Clarkson had repaired diplomatic relations, 1767 01:31:47,240 --> 01:31:51,240 we set off on our detour to Victoria Falls. 1768 01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,640 [rock music] 1769 01:32:01,600 --> 01:32:02,920 [Jeremy] And now, 1770 01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:05,480 everything's on fire. 1771 01:32:05,680 --> 01:32:08,440 Yeah. Oh, my God, absolutely everything is on fire. 1772 01:32:08,640 --> 01:32:09,640 Bloody Nora. 1773 01:32:10,960 --> 01:32:13,400 We are having some obstacles today, aren't we? 1774 01:32:17,160 --> 01:32:19,200 [Jeremy] Once we reached Vic Falls, 1775 01:32:19,400 --> 01:32:21,680 our thoughts turned to the matter of accommodation. 1776 01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:26,600 And since the tight-fisted Mr Wilman wasn't with us... 1777 01:32:27,040 --> 01:32:28,960 [classical music] 1778 01:32:34,960 --> 01:32:35,840 [Jeremy] Afternoon. 1779 01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:38,480 [Richard] Thank you. Could we have three suites, please? 1780 01:32:38,960 --> 01:32:41,320 And if you could have my tailor sent up, that would be tremendous. 1781 01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,120 That's what Bond always says. 1782 01:32:44,880 --> 01:32:47,880 [Jeremy] Then, after we'd washed the coal dust out of our ears, 1783 01:32:48,080 --> 01:32:49,200 we found a workshop 1784 01:32:50,560 --> 01:32:51,760 and cued the music. 1785 01:32:51,960 --> 01:32:53,640 [The A-Team theme playing] 1786 01:33:20,400 --> 01:33:21,640 [suspenseful music] 1787 01:33:27,960 --> 01:33:31,600 [Jeremy] A couple of days later, the work was complete. 1788 01:33:31,760 --> 01:33:34,240 And we met in the local rail yard 1789 01:33:34,440 --> 01:33:36,840 to compare our contraptions. 1790 01:33:38,680 --> 01:33:41,200 Surprisingly simple job. 1791 01:33:41,360 --> 01:33:44,800 I've put the front wheels in a sort of animal feed trough, 1792 01:33:44,960 --> 01:33:48,080 which has little railway wheels on the bottom. Okay? 1793 01:33:48,280 --> 01:33:52,080 At the back, rear wheels drive that sort of belt system 1794 01:33:52,240 --> 01:33:54,960 which then drives the railway wheels. 1795 01:33:55,120 --> 01:33:57,120 It's simple and it's elegant. 1796 01:33:58,680 --> 01:34:00,800 -Unlike that. -[James] Let me talk you through this. 1797 01:34:00,960 --> 01:34:03,640 Mine's quite elaborate, and I suspect you're not interested, 1798 01:34:03,800 --> 01:34:06,720 but I based it on the diesel-hydraulic locomotives 1799 01:34:06,920 --> 01:34:08,800 of England's western region. 1800 01:34:08,960 --> 01:34:12,160 It's hydraulic drive. The engine merely drives a pump 1801 01:34:12,360 --> 01:34:14,960 which charges the hydraulic reservoir which is what then drives the wheels, 1802 01:34:15,120 --> 01:34:17,800 giving you massive torque at standstill 1803 01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:18,840 from zero revs. 1804 01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:20,120 How does it work? 1805 01:34:20,280 --> 01:34:22,280 -That's how it works. -I didn't understand. 1806 01:34:22,480 --> 01:34:24,400 James, what the bloody hell's that? 1807 01:34:24,560 --> 01:34:25,480 [James] Yeah, well, I did warn you. 1808 01:34:25,680 --> 01:34:29,200 [Richard] Oh, my Lord! There's a whole-- What's all that? 1809 01:34:29,400 --> 01:34:30,400 [James] That's a hydraulic pump. 1810 01:34:31,120 --> 01:34:32,160 This is a hydraulic reservoir. 1811 01:34:32,920 --> 01:34:33,800 These are pipes. 1812 01:34:34,600 --> 01:34:36,880 Those are gauges that warn you of the pressures. 1813 01:34:37,080 --> 01:34:39,640 How will you see them when you're driving along? 1814 01:34:39,800 --> 01:34:41,440 As long as they're right when I set off. 1815 01:34:41,600 --> 01:34:43,520 Unless you've got a co-pilot who is a giraffe. 1816 01:34:44,040 --> 01:34:47,080 [James] The point about the hydraulic system is it's the transmission. 1817 01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:50,040 This is how they built real locomotives, so this is proven technology. 1818 01:34:50,240 --> 01:34:51,920 It doesn't look like a real locomotive. 1819 01:34:52,080 --> 01:34:54,240 -Well, it does, actually. -No, it doesn't. 1820 01:34:54,400 --> 01:34:55,600 It looks like a Triumph Stag. 1821 01:34:55,760 --> 01:34:58,520 I'm visualising the Flying Scotsman, the Mallard. 1822 01:34:58,680 --> 01:35:00,720 -[Richard] Got it? Open your eyes. -They're not hydraulic locomotives. 1823 01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:02,080 -Is it made real? -No. 1824 01:35:02,280 --> 01:35:04,560 -[Richard] No. -Yours looks even easier than mine. 1825 01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:05,840 [Richard] You don't even need to go over there. 1826 01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:08,360 Sits on rollers, back wheels turn rollers, 1827 01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:10,480 rollers turn wheel, it goes along, end of. 1828 01:35:10,640 --> 01:35:12,160 [Jeremy] So it's just like a rolling road? 1829 01:35:12,360 --> 01:35:13,680 Yeah, it's like a running machine. 1830 01:35:13,840 --> 01:35:18,560 Well, James, Hammond and I have proved there's a very easy way of doing this. 1831 01:35:18,760 --> 01:35:22,080 [James] But you've got to manipulate your clutch, 1832 01:35:22,280 --> 01:35:23,840 your throttle, your break pedal. All I have to do-- 1833 01:35:24,000 --> 01:35:26,120 -Very much like driving a car. -Driving, yes. 1834 01:35:26,280 --> 01:35:27,800 Yeah, but it's not a car, you see? It's a locomotive. 1835 01:35:27,960 --> 01:35:30,440 All I have to do is set the engine revs 1836 01:35:30,600 --> 01:35:32,480 and then I simply move a lever backwards and forwards, 1837 01:35:32,640 --> 01:35:35,080 the very thing that made those early locomotives so appealing 1838 01:35:35,240 --> 01:35:37,160 to people who'd grown up on steam. 1839 01:35:37,320 --> 01:35:38,960 [Richard laughing] 1840 01:35:40,280 --> 01:35:41,880 -[Richard] Shall we do this? I'm excited. -They'll miss me when I'm gone, 1841 01:35:42,040 --> 01:35:43,600 which is in a few days' time. 1842 01:35:43,800 --> 01:35:45,120 [tense music] 1843 01:35:45,280 --> 01:35:46,960 [James] We boarded our trains, 1844 01:35:47,760 --> 01:35:49,680 ready for the off. 1845 01:35:50,240 --> 01:35:51,760 Hydraulic pressure is building. 1846 01:35:51,960 --> 01:35:54,200 [pressurising] 1847 01:35:54,400 --> 01:35:59,160 [Jeremy on radio] The train now departing platform 1 is the Montecarlo Express, 1848 01:35:59,360 --> 01:36:01,880 direct service to Botswana. 1849 01:36:03,920 --> 01:36:04,760 Here we go. 1850 01:36:04,960 --> 01:36:06,440 [suspenseful music] 1851 01:36:10,640 --> 01:36:12,560 [laughing] 1852 01:36:12,720 --> 01:36:13,720 I'm going along! 1853 01:36:18,240 --> 01:36:19,160 [clanking] 1854 01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:22,240 And it works. 1855 01:36:25,320 --> 01:36:26,520 Right, we're away. 1856 01:36:28,520 --> 01:36:29,320 What? 1857 01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:30,680 No, I'm in... 1858 01:36:30,840 --> 01:36:32,480 -[thud] -[Richard screaming] 1859 01:36:32,680 --> 01:36:33,840 [car clanking] 1860 01:36:36,240 --> 01:36:37,840 It makes very authentic train noises. 1861 01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:39,840 Did you hear the little "gadunk gadunk"? 1862 01:36:41,040 --> 01:36:41,840 [thud] 1863 01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:43,120 Oh, God. 1864 01:36:44,600 --> 01:36:47,600 [car squeaking] 1865 01:36:53,840 --> 01:36:55,760 [James on radio] Er, I've derailed. 1866 01:36:56,120 --> 01:36:57,080 [Jeremy] Oh, dear. 1867 01:37:00,120 --> 01:37:02,640 I'm going to have to reverse to see what his problem is. 1868 01:37:04,680 --> 01:37:05,640 Oh yes! 1869 01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:09,560 The Montecarlo Express goes forwards and backwards. 1870 01:37:09,720 --> 01:37:10,720 Look at that. 1871 01:37:12,080 --> 01:37:14,040 What a machine I have built here. 1872 01:37:14,240 --> 01:37:15,360 [thud] 1873 01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:23,560 [Jeremy] This meant that James and I had both derailed. 1874 01:37:24,720 --> 01:37:26,240 But it could be worse. 1875 01:37:28,000 --> 01:37:30,080 Oh, bugger. 1876 01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:33,400 So that wheel turns that way, 1877 01:37:33,560 --> 01:37:37,640 which turns these wheels the other way, 1878 01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:40,840 which means it goes the other way 1879 01:37:41,000 --> 01:37:43,160 to the way these wheels are turning. 1880 01:37:44,280 --> 01:37:45,120 Er... 1881 01:37:46,400 --> 01:37:47,360 right. 1882 01:37:47,560 --> 01:37:48,640 [playful music] 1883 01:37:48,800 --> 01:37:52,120 [Richard] Luckily, as we hadn't actually left the station, 1884 01:37:52,320 --> 01:37:56,880 there was a telehandler on hand to help sort out our problems. 1885 01:37:57,720 --> 01:38:00,640 Er, I'm gonna pick it up and turn it around, 1886 01:38:00,800 --> 01:38:04,200 so that when it's going backwards, it's going forwards. 1887 01:38:04,880 --> 01:38:07,160 So what this means is I've now got 1888 01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:11,640 four reverse gears that make me go forwards. 1889 01:38:14,000 --> 01:38:18,000 Right. Now, simply put it back on the track. 1890 01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:22,520 No problem. Everything's under control. 1891 01:38:22,720 --> 01:38:23,880 [playful music continues] 1892 01:38:24,040 --> 01:38:27,040 [Richard] And, when all of us were back on tracks, 1893 01:38:27,200 --> 01:38:29,080 we set off once more. 1894 01:38:29,280 --> 01:38:31,240 [rock music] 1895 01:38:47,040 --> 01:38:50,720 Isn't it funny, you make one little error, 1896 01:38:50,880 --> 01:38:53,640 miscalculation, and then your life is this. 1897 01:38:56,760 --> 01:39:00,960 [Jeremy] Even though Hammond wasn't bringing much dignity to the situation, 1898 01:39:01,120 --> 01:39:03,360 this was still quite a moment. 1899 01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:08,080 Because we were now grand touring 1900 01:39:08,280 --> 01:39:12,080 on one of the world's most iconic railway lines. 1901 01:39:13,840 --> 01:39:15,120 [Jeremy] It is remarkable that today, 1902 01:39:15,280 --> 01:39:18,080 we can't build a railway line in Britain from... 1903 01:39:18,760 --> 01:39:20,080 London to Manchester, 1904 01:39:21,200 --> 01:39:24,080 whereas 150 years ago someone said: 1905 01:39:24,280 --> 01:39:27,440 "Let's build a railway line from Cape Town to Cairo", 1906 01:39:27,600 --> 01:39:32,880 7,000 miles across the spine of Africa. 1907 01:39:33,800 --> 01:39:35,920 And they went: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can do that." 1908 01:39:36,080 --> 01:39:38,800 And then someone said: "But there's a bloody great gorge in the way." 1909 01:39:38,960 --> 01:39:41,120 And they said: "Well, it doesn't matter, here's what we'll do. 1910 01:39:41,320 --> 01:39:44,480 We'll build a bridge in Darlington, 1911 01:39:44,680 --> 01:39:45,880 ship it out there, 1912 01:39:46,040 --> 01:39:48,280 and we'll assemble it in situ and it'll fit." 1913 01:39:48,440 --> 01:39:49,480 And it did. 1914 01:39:50,160 --> 01:39:51,600 And here it is! 1915 01:39:51,800 --> 01:39:53,160 [solemn music] 1916 01:39:57,560 --> 01:39:59,080 Oh, my God. 1917 01:40:00,840 --> 01:40:02,280 Driving a Lancia Montecarlo 1918 01:40:04,680 --> 01:40:06,960 on the Victoria Falls bridge. 1919 01:40:07,600 --> 01:40:09,240 [solemn music continues] 1920 01:40:13,000 --> 01:40:17,800 [James] We are 420 feet above the gorge. 1921 01:40:19,080 --> 01:40:20,840 Let's just take a moment. 1922 01:40:43,320 --> 01:40:45,120 [solemn music continues] 1923 01:40:48,040 --> 01:40:50,880 I shall certainly miss doing this sort of thing. 1924 01:40:54,640 --> 01:40:58,800 [Jeremy] Having ticked off this unexpected bucket-list moment... 1925 01:40:59,600 --> 01:41:01,760 [playful rock music] 1926 01:41:03,080 --> 01:41:07,560 We trundled along with our minds firmly set on the goal. 1927 01:41:08,920 --> 01:41:10,920 So, if we can use the railway now 1928 01:41:11,120 --> 01:41:14,080 to get us past that sort of coal-mining area, 1929 01:41:14,280 --> 01:41:15,120 yeah, 1930 01:41:16,120 --> 01:41:17,560 it's a home run then. 1931 01:41:17,760 --> 01:41:19,040 [playful music continues] 1932 01:41:33,240 --> 01:41:35,480 I once went on the Orient Express with my wife in India. 1933 01:41:35,640 --> 01:41:37,160 We had a brilliant time. 1934 01:41:38,560 --> 01:41:39,600 Very similar. 1935 01:41:43,440 --> 01:41:45,520 [music continues] 1936 01:41:52,320 --> 01:41:54,840 [Richard on radio] This is more comfortable than the roads, isn't it? 1937 01:41:55,280 --> 01:41:56,120 [Jeremy on radio] And the other thing as well. 1938 01:41:56,280 --> 01:41:58,880 For the first time, I've been able to look at the views 1939 01:41:59,080 --> 01:42:00,760 rather than the road ahead. 1940 01:42:00,960 --> 01:42:04,120 Yeah, I'm looking at the views as they recede. 1941 01:42:04,320 --> 01:42:06,880 Can we call you the Disorientated Express? 1942 01:42:07,080 --> 01:42:08,320 [chuckling] 1943 01:42:10,120 --> 01:42:15,760 [Jeremy] As we chatted away, I had just one small niggle on my mind. 1944 01:42:16,200 --> 01:42:20,040 I've been assured that no train is coming in the other direction. 1945 01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:23,720 But what if one is? 1946 01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:28,040 It's one of those things you cannot get out of your mind 1947 01:42:28,200 --> 01:42:30,760 when you're on a single-track railway like this. 1948 01:42:32,440 --> 01:42:36,320 [Jeremy] And then, that niggle was joined by another one. 1949 01:42:37,440 --> 01:42:40,360 Oh! I've got a high-temperature warning here. 1950 01:42:40,560 --> 01:42:45,080 I don't think my engine is cooling quite like it should be. 1951 01:42:45,280 --> 01:42:46,320 For some reason. 1952 01:42:48,000 --> 01:42:50,880 Could it be that I've converted my car into a train? 1953 01:42:52,240 --> 01:42:54,240 [Jeremy] My solution was to lift the bonnet 1954 01:42:54,400 --> 01:42:56,600 and then call on my old friends, 1955 01:42:57,200 --> 01:42:58,640 Speed and Power. 1956 01:42:58,840 --> 01:43:00,600 [engine roaring] 1957 01:43:00,800 --> 01:43:02,840 [tense music] 1958 01:43:07,120 --> 01:43:08,920 [Jeremy] Indicated: 40 miles an hour. 1959 01:43:10,040 --> 01:43:12,840 It isn't 40 miles an hour, but that's what it says. 1960 01:43:13,760 --> 01:43:17,120 The airflow is good now at this speed, very good. 1961 01:43:18,600 --> 01:43:19,720 [sighing] 1962 01:43:20,520 --> 01:43:22,760 [Richard] Okay, my right leg's going numb now. 1963 01:43:24,120 --> 01:43:25,880 [tense music continues] 1964 01:43:26,080 --> 01:43:27,840 [Richard] By mid-afternoon, 1965 01:43:28,040 --> 01:43:31,880 we were confident we'd actually achieved something. 1966 01:43:37,600 --> 01:43:39,640 [James on radio] I reckon we've passed the end of the dusty road 1967 01:43:39,800 --> 01:43:41,080 and all that rough stuff. 1968 01:43:41,280 --> 01:43:43,880 Yeah, I think we have. We've passed the coal mine for sure. 1969 01:43:45,160 --> 01:43:47,960 [Jeremy] We therefore pulled over at a level crossing, 1970 01:43:48,680 --> 01:43:51,880 to do a job which we'd been avoiding thinking about. 1971 01:43:58,000 --> 01:43:59,240 [Jeremy] How do we get them off? 1972 01:43:59,800 --> 01:44:02,840 [James] I suppose the approaching freight train could do the job for you. 1973 01:44:03,040 --> 01:44:06,440 Right, what you need to do first, using the adjustable spanner... 1974 01:44:06,600 --> 01:44:08,400 I cannot count on us using an adjustable spanner. 1975 01:44:08,600 --> 01:44:09,400 Slacken the lock nuts. 1976 01:44:09,560 --> 01:44:11,280 [Jeremy] Why can't you use one of these? 1977 01:44:11,440 --> 01:44:13,560 Because it is the tool of a charlatan. 1978 01:44:13,720 --> 01:44:15,760 -You don't mean "charlatan", do you? -[James] I do. 1979 01:44:15,960 --> 01:44:19,080 [Jeremy] You mean someone who just has one tool instead of three hundred. 1980 01:44:19,280 --> 01:44:21,160 -[James] Undo the lock nuts first. -What are talking about? 1981 01:44:21,320 --> 01:44:22,240 What's the lock nut? 1982 01:44:22,720 --> 01:44:23,840 [James] That is a lock nut. 1983 01:44:24,000 --> 01:44:25,680 [Jeremy] This spanner's too big. 1984 01:44:25,880 --> 01:44:29,360 We don't all have to go to the same old folks home, do we? 1985 01:44:29,520 --> 01:44:30,720 -[James] No. -[Jeremy laughing] 1986 01:44:30,880 --> 01:44:33,520 I mean, it's not obligatory after this that we all, the next day-- 1987 01:44:33,680 --> 01:44:36,040 He said he's deleting our numbers as soon as we finish. 1988 01:44:36,200 --> 01:44:37,000 [Richard laughs] 1989 01:44:37,160 --> 01:44:40,000 And we finish, delete, now they've gone. 1990 01:44:40,680 --> 01:44:41,600 [Jeremy sighing] Oh, God. 1991 01:44:41,760 --> 01:44:43,240 Quite easy to do, they're next to each other. 1992 01:44:43,400 --> 01:44:45,080 World's smallest cun[bleep], world's biggest cun[bleep]. 1993 01:44:45,240 --> 01:44:46,320 [Richard] We've stalled. 1994 01:44:46,480 --> 01:44:47,800 [all laughing] 1995 01:44:47,960 --> 01:44:50,080 That's actually true as well. It's not a lie. 1996 01:44:50,240 --> 01:44:51,160 It is true. 1997 01:44:53,280 --> 01:44:55,200 -I've had an idea. -[James] What? 1998 01:44:55,400 --> 01:44:59,480 Why don't we go to a screen now that says "Fifteen minutes later"? 1999 01:44:59,640 --> 01:45:00,440 Yeah? 2000 01:45:00,600 --> 01:45:02,760 Get the production people to get them off. 2001 01:45:02,960 --> 01:45:04,640 -And then... -[Richard] It looks like we've done it. 2002 01:45:04,840 --> 01:45:06,120 [Jeremy] It looks like we've done it. 2003 01:45:06,560 --> 01:45:08,280 And then, we'll have a line of voice-over: 2004 01:45:08,440 --> 01:45:11,080 "Soon, all the cars were off the railway line." [voice fading out] 2005 01:45:14,720 --> 01:45:17,840 [Jeremy] Soon, all the cars were off the railway line. 2006 01:45:18,280 --> 01:45:19,440 [soft music] 2007 01:45:21,080 --> 01:45:25,280 And, as the border with Botswana was just under 40 miles away, 2008 01:45:25,440 --> 01:45:28,000 we had nearly completed our mission. 2009 01:45:30,160 --> 01:45:34,520 And for that, we had three little heroes to thank. 2010 01:45:37,800 --> 01:45:40,760 I am amazed that the Ford Capri is still running. 2011 01:45:40,960 --> 01:45:42,040 I really am. 2012 01:45:42,200 --> 01:45:45,360 But I'm more amazed by the Stag and the Montecarlo, 2013 01:45:45,520 --> 01:45:48,640 because almost anyone who knows anything about cars would say 2014 01:45:48,840 --> 01:45:53,080 those two are the most unreliable cars ever made. 2015 01:45:53,520 --> 01:45:55,760 And here they are, soldiering along. 2016 01:45:59,080 --> 01:46:02,800 And, we really did save the best till last... 2017 01:46:03,000 --> 01:46:04,840 [soft music] 2018 01:46:14,840 --> 01:46:20,560 Because Zimbabwe has provided the perfect backdrop 2019 01:46:21,480 --> 01:46:23,480 for our final motoring adventure. 2020 01:46:25,600 --> 01:46:27,600 [emotional music] 2021 01:47:06,600 --> 01:47:09,040 [emotional music continues] 2022 01:47:26,040 --> 01:47:27,320 [Jeremy] Amazing cars! 2023 01:47:27,520 --> 01:47:29,480 Amazing, amazing cars 2024 01:47:30,080 --> 01:47:33,640 have survived this amazing, amazing country. 2025 01:47:38,160 --> 01:47:39,480 Essex! 2026 01:47:42,760 --> 01:47:44,440 Triumph Stag. 2027 01:47:47,200 --> 01:47:50,560 Overheating, my arse. 2028 01:47:51,160 --> 01:47:53,080 [emotional music continues] 2029 01:48:01,600 --> 01:48:03,120 [Jeremy] Well done, Lancia. 2030 01:48:03,320 --> 01:48:06,240 I can actually see the customs post. 2031 01:48:07,120 --> 01:48:09,680 You fantastic little car, you've done it. 2032 01:48:10,040 --> 01:48:11,040 You've done it. 2033 01:48:12,960 --> 01:48:14,720 [Jeremy] Before going up to the checkpoint, 2034 01:48:14,880 --> 01:48:18,480 we pulled over to reflect on the moment. 2035 01:48:19,880 --> 01:48:23,800 We have crossed Zimbabwe and you don't know. 2036 01:48:24,000 --> 01:48:27,200 [Richard] No, barely tell from the-- "Did you use these cars to do it?" 2037 01:48:27,400 --> 01:48:30,080 Yeah, quite. I would love to keep this. 2038 01:48:30,240 --> 01:48:31,080 [Richard] Yeah. 2039 01:48:31,280 --> 01:48:33,120 I would properly love to keep it, actually. 2040 01:48:33,320 --> 01:48:35,040 All we need is three bags to take 'em home with. 2041 01:48:35,200 --> 01:48:37,720 [Jeremy] I mean, this is, I think, restorable. 2042 01:48:37,880 --> 01:48:40,160 [James] I think mine is. It'd have to completely come apart. 2043 01:48:40,960 --> 01:48:41,800 [Jeremy] Anyway, listen. 2044 01:48:42,000 --> 01:48:44,840 we must plough on, 'cause obviously, we've finished the programme, 2045 01:48:45,000 --> 01:48:46,240 now we've gotta finish the show. 2046 01:48:46,400 --> 01:48:49,320 -[Richard] The whole thing. -[Jeremy] So-- Oh. 2047 01:48:50,680 --> 01:48:51,520 [Richard] What? 2048 01:48:53,640 --> 01:48:54,440 What? 2049 01:48:54,640 --> 01:48:56,120 [Jeremy mumbling] We've got a small problem. 2050 01:48:56,600 --> 01:48:58,160 -[Richard] What? -[Jeremy mumbling] Well, that's silver. 2051 01:49:00,080 --> 01:49:01,920 -[James] Oh, yeah. -We've got to get across the border. 2052 01:49:02,680 --> 01:49:04,640 -The silver. -[Jeremy] We've got a lot of silver. 2053 01:49:05,720 --> 01:49:08,080 I mean, if we go through with them, that's smuggling. 2054 01:49:08,240 --> 01:49:09,080 [James] It is, yes. 2055 01:49:09,280 --> 01:49:10,520 Shall we remove it? 2056 01:49:10,720 --> 01:49:12,040 -[Richard] No. -No, that would be... 2057 01:49:12,200 --> 01:49:14,160 -[Jeremy] Well... -Well, you really can't! 2058 01:49:14,360 --> 01:49:17,200 -[Jeremy] You'd have no more downforce. -[Richard] Yes. 2059 01:49:17,400 --> 01:49:20,120 -[Richard] What do we do? Style it out. -Style it out. 2060 01:49:20,320 --> 01:49:22,400 -Relaxed. -[Jeremy] Relax is the way. 2061 01:49:22,600 --> 01:49:23,480 Job's a good 'un. 2062 01:49:23,680 --> 01:49:25,600 [tense music] 2063 01:49:33,120 --> 01:49:34,520 -[Jeremy] Hello. -How are you? 2064 01:49:34,720 --> 01:49:36,200 [Jeremy] Very well. How are you? 2065 01:49:36,400 --> 01:49:39,120 [customs officer] Do you have anything to declare? 2066 01:49:39,600 --> 01:49:40,520 No. 2067 01:49:40,880 --> 01:49:42,440 [heart beating] 2068 01:49:44,600 --> 01:49:47,040 -[officer] Can you step outside, please? -Yes. 2069 01:49:47,200 --> 01:49:48,480 [heart beating faster] 2070 01:49:48,640 --> 01:49:50,200 He's trying to look normal. 2071 01:49:51,480 --> 01:49:53,920 [officer] Can you help us to open the bonnet? 2072 01:49:56,240 --> 01:49:58,720 [heart beating fast] 2073 01:49:59,240 --> 01:50:01,480 [Richard] Don't go round the back of his car. 2074 01:50:03,360 --> 01:50:04,200 [officer] Alright. 2075 01:50:04,640 --> 01:50:06,360 Alright, thank you for your cooperation. 2076 01:50:06,520 --> 01:50:07,560 You can go through. 2077 01:50:07,760 --> 01:50:08,440 Thank you very much. 2078 01:50:08,640 --> 01:50:09,360 [officer] Thank you, sir. 2079 01:50:09,520 --> 01:50:10,480 [Jeremy] Thank you. 2080 01:50:12,840 --> 01:50:13,800 Thank you. 2081 01:50:14,320 --> 01:50:15,760 [sighing with relief] 2082 01:50:15,960 --> 01:50:17,040 [engine purring] 2083 01:50:19,720 --> 01:50:22,960 [chuckling] Yes! Yes! 2084 01:50:25,400 --> 01:50:29,200 I'm just gonna play it as I'm just like a quiet, 2085 01:50:30,160 --> 01:50:31,640 softly spoken... 2086 01:50:32,680 --> 01:50:34,640 just a fairly miserable guy. I'm just not-- 2087 01:50:34,800 --> 01:50:36,800 I'm not gonna be my bouncy self, 'cause I'll overdo it. 2088 01:50:40,800 --> 01:50:42,040 -[customs officer] Good day, sir. -Good day. 2089 01:50:42,200 --> 01:50:43,480 -[officer] How are you? -[Richard] Very well, thank you. 2090 01:50:43,640 --> 01:50:46,680 You have reached the Pandamatenga border post into Botswana. 2091 01:50:47,040 --> 01:50:47,960 [Richard] What? 2092 01:50:48,120 --> 01:50:50,320 [officer] You have reached the Pandamatenga 2093 01:50:50,520 --> 01:50:53,120 -border post into Botswana. -[Richard] Yes, yeah. 2094 01:50:53,320 --> 01:50:55,520 -Do you have anything to declare? -[Richard] No. 2095 01:50:55,720 --> 01:50:57,760 Can you come and open the boot for us? 2096 01:50:57,960 --> 01:51:00,040 [heart beating fast] 2097 01:51:02,200 --> 01:51:04,880 -[officer] Please, can you move with us? -[Richard] Yep. 2098 01:51:05,080 --> 01:51:07,040 [James] That's not very promising, is it? 2099 01:51:07,240 --> 01:51:09,360 [heart beating fast] 2100 01:51:16,640 --> 01:51:18,320 -[woman officer] Thank you very much. -[Richard] You're welcome, thank you. 2101 01:51:20,720 --> 01:51:21,800 [officer] Enjoy Botswana. 2102 01:51:22,480 --> 01:51:23,760 -And have fun. -[Richard] I will. 2103 01:51:23,920 --> 01:51:24,800 [officer] Thank you. 2104 01:51:28,120 --> 01:51:29,240 Yeah, I killed it. 2105 01:51:30,440 --> 01:51:33,400 [officer] Please can you come and open the bonnet? 2106 01:51:36,040 --> 01:51:38,280 [James] You'll notice, when I open this bonnet, this is the original Stag engine 2107 01:51:38,480 --> 01:51:41,280 and not the transplanted Rover one. 2108 01:51:41,440 --> 01:51:42,920 [James panting] [heart beating] 2109 01:51:43,920 --> 01:51:46,120 [officer] Open the door for me. 2110 01:51:46,320 --> 01:51:48,200 [heart beating] 2111 01:51:52,080 --> 01:51:54,480 [James] So there are quite a lot of empty drinks tins. 2112 01:51:54,680 --> 01:51:56,640 [heart beating faster] 2113 01:52:03,840 --> 01:52:04,880 [officer] Alright, sir. 2114 01:52:05,040 --> 01:52:07,000 You can close the door. 2115 01:52:07,680 --> 01:52:08,520 [James] Thank you. 2116 01:52:12,440 --> 01:52:14,320 Oh, shit, the steering wheel's hot. 2117 01:52:14,480 --> 01:52:17,240 The steering wheel's hot, but don't draw attention to it. 2118 01:52:18,520 --> 01:52:19,320 Thank you. 2119 01:52:19,480 --> 01:52:20,600 [officer] Thank you, sir. 2120 01:52:21,320 --> 01:52:24,600 Knee steer. Knee steer. 2121 01:52:28,000 --> 01:52:29,200 [sighing with pain] Ow. 2122 01:52:30,520 --> 01:52:32,200 [soft music] 2123 01:52:36,280 --> 01:52:37,800 [Jeremy] Us three smugglers 2124 01:52:38,000 --> 01:52:41,080 were now on our final drive together. 2125 01:52:41,240 --> 01:52:43,160 [soft music continues] 2126 01:52:46,280 --> 01:52:51,280 Heading to our favourite place in the world. 2127 01:52:57,640 --> 01:53:02,760 [Jeremy] We've travelled thousands and thousands and thousands of miles 2128 01:53:02,960 --> 01:53:07,200 and had thousands and thousands and thousands of adventures. 2129 01:53:10,120 --> 01:53:12,920 And we're gonna end up right where we started. 2130 01:53:14,960 --> 01:53:17,200 [soft music continues] 2131 01:53:17,400 --> 01:53:22,000 Never thought that what we do together would... 2132 01:53:22,680 --> 01:53:25,760 would go on as it has. 2133 01:53:28,680 --> 01:53:31,720 I was excited when I got the job, way back. 2134 01:53:32,320 --> 01:53:33,560 Very excited. 2135 01:53:34,400 --> 01:53:37,440 But I never dreamed it would grow into a career 2136 01:53:37,600 --> 01:53:39,600 and life-defining adventure. 2137 01:53:39,760 --> 01:53:44,080 And, occasionally, nearly career and life-ending adventure. 2138 01:53:48,640 --> 01:53:52,280 I can't pretend it isn't gonna be a wrench, ending this. 2139 01:53:53,920 --> 01:53:55,000 'Cause it is. 2140 01:53:55,480 --> 01:53:57,200 [soft music continues] 2141 01:54:01,080 --> 01:54:03,040 22 years. 2142 01:54:03,680 --> 01:54:05,600 More than a third of my life. 2143 01:54:10,640 --> 01:54:13,160 This is going to hit me in quite small ways. 2144 01:54:13,720 --> 01:54:16,080 Like there's a green bag, I have a green holdall 2145 01:54:16,240 --> 01:54:18,840 that I've used since the very first special in Botswana. 2146 01:54:19,040 --> 01:54:22,320 I've always used it for specials, but I've never taken it anywhere else. 2147 01:54:23,480 --> 01:54:25,280 So what will I do with that green bag? 2148 01:54:25,440 --> 01:54:30,040 One day, I'll come across it in that cupboard where we keep the bags. 2149 01:54:30,600 --> 01:54:32,080 And I'll think: "Oh, yeah." 2150 01:54:34,400 --> 01:54:35,680 And it will come back. 2151 01:54:42,200 --> 01:54:43,040 Anyway. 2152 01:54:43,680 --> 01:54:44,600 I hope 2153 01:54:45,760 --> 01:54:49,080 we've brought you a little bit of happiness. 2154 01:54:54,040 --> 01:54:55,440 [tense music] 2155 01:54:55,600 --> 01:54:59,400 [Jeremy] Several miles further on, Hammond broke down again. 2156 01:54:59,600 --> 01:55:02,000 [engine sputtering] 2157 01:55:02,200 --> 01:55:04,160 Er, my car isn't starting. 2158 01:55:05,480 --> 01:55:08,400 [Jeremy] And even though this was our last-ever drive, 2159 01:55:08,560 --> 01:55:12,520 we felt duty bound to react in the usual manner. 2160 01:55:12,680 --> 01:55:14,880 [James on radio] We shall leave you to the wolves. 2161 01:55:15,040 --> 01:55:16,120 [engine sputtering] 2162 01:55:16,320 --> 01:55:18,120 [rock music] 2163 01:55:19,160 --> 01:55:21,960 [Jeremy] And, as the tarmac surface was about to stop... 2164 01:55:22,120 --> 01:55:24,120 ["Monte Carlo" by Struggle Jennings playing] 2165 01:55:24,280 --> 01:55:27,320 [Jeremy] I decided to give my feisty little Twin Cam 2166 01:55:27,520 --> 01:55:29,400 one last blast. 2167 01:55:29,600 --> 01:55:30,880 ♪ Monte Carlo ♪ 2168 01:55:31,040 --> 01:55:33,000 ♪ Stood tall on that concrete ♪ 2169 01:55:33,200 --> 01:55:34,760 ♪ With a heart of gold and some lead feet ♪ 2170 01:55:34,960 --> 01:55:36,560 ♪ Kids to feed, give 'em what they need ♪ 2171 01:55:36,760 --> 01:55:38,080 ♪ 'Cause I refuse to be another dead beat ♪ 2172 01:55:38,240 --> 01:55:39,920 ♪ Now, lesson learned As the tires burned ♪ 2173 01:55:40,080 --> 01:55:41,480 ♪ Been a long road full of sharp turns ♪ 2174 01:55:41,680 --> 01:55:43,400 ♪ Catching all the curves Give it gas and swerve ♪ 2175 01:55:43,600 --> 01:55:45,920 ♪ Eyes on the journey till it's all a blur ♪ 2176 01:55:48,400 --> 01:55:51,200 [Jeremy] Right, now, finally heading through the bush 2177 01:55:51,400 --> 01:55:52,880 to the Makgadikgadi. 2178 01:55:54,280 --> 01:55:56,120 Sand roads. I remember those. 2179 01:55:56,280 --> 01:55:58,280 God, they were so good. 2180 01:55:58,720 --> 01:55:59,960 So comfortable. 2181 01:56:04,680 --> 01:56:05,560 The hell? 2182 01:56:14,760 --> 01:56:15,720 No way. 2183 01:56:21,840 --> 01:56:23,720 Holy shit. 2184 01:56:30,920 --> 01:56:32,000 It's my car. 2185 01:56:32,600 --> 01:56:34,520 It's my car from the very first special. 2186 01:56:40,720 --> 01:56:43,080 Is that--? It can't be James' Merc. 2187 01:56:46,920 --> 01:56:48,720 I don't believe it. 2188 01:56:51,120 --> 01:56:52,840 The Lite Bite Cafe. 2189 01:56:55,120 --> 01:56:56,480 That is astonishing. 2190 01:56:56,640 --> 01:56:58,800 I'm-- I'm-- I'm slightly 2191 01:56:59,920 --> 01:57:01,120 choked up. 2192 01:57:05,080 --> 01:57:06,200 Hang on a minute. 2193 01:57:06,760 --> 01:57:09,240 The doors were off. No, were they? Yes. 2194 01:57:09,840 --> 01:57:11,720 Someone's found the doors 2195 01:57:12,440 --> 01:57:15,080 that we took off to cross the Makgadikgadi. 2196 01:57:16,400 --> 01:57:17,200 [James] What's up? 2197 01:57:17,360 --> 01:57:19,080 You're not going to believe this. 2198 01:57:19,280 --> 01:57:21,680 You are not going to believe this. 2199 01:57:24,480 --> 01:57:25,720 Jeez, is it? 2200 01:57:25,880 --> 01:57:26,800 [Jeremy] It's my car. 2201 01:57:28,040 --> 01:57:29,520 It's my old Lancia. 2202 01:57:30,280 --> 01:57:32,720 -Is that my Mercedes? -I think that's your Mercedes. 2203 01:57:33,840 --> 01:57:35,360 [James] I'll know if this is mine, 2204 01:57:35,560 --> 01:57:36,520 because 2205 01:57:37,560 --> 01:57:40,360 it'll have the five-speed gear knob on the four-speed box. 2206 01:57:40,520 --> 01:57:41,920 [Jeremy laughing] 2207 01:57:43,240 --> 01:57:44,640 Christ, it is! 2208 01:57:46,360 --> 01:57:50,760 I'm-- I'm-- I'm absolutely... My heart's just gone kinda nuts. 2209 01:57:51,360 --> 01:57:54,200 [James] Look, yeah, the badge is gone, which I took as a souvenir. 2210 01:57:54,400 --> 01:57:56,080 -Souvenir? -Yes. 2211 01:57:56,600 --> 01:57:59,720 [Jeremy] You know what I've kept as a souvenir on every single special? 2212 01:57:59,880 --> 01:58:02,160 Every single special, I've had it with me. 2213 01:58:02,320 --> 01:58:04,920 -Yes! Yes! -I've got it with me now. Hang on. 2214 01:58:05,120 --> 01:58:06,200 [James] Where is it? 2215 01:58:06,360 --> 01:58:08,960 [Jeremy] It's in my suitcase. It's always in my suitcase. 2216 01:58:11,080 --> 01:58:11,880 Sorry, everyone. 2217 01:58:20,120 --> 01:58:21,160 [James giggling] 2218 01:58:21,320 --> 01:58:22,880 That was my souvenir. 2219 01:58:23,040 --> 01:58:24,440 [James] Let's stick it in. 2220 01:58:26,480 --> 01:58:28,560 [Jeremy] I'm sure I took it from here. 2221 01:58:28,760 --> 01:58:29,880 [James] There you go. 2222 01:58:30,040 --> 01:58:31,960 It's got its eye back! 2223 01:58:32,480 --> 01:58:35,400 [James] So somebody found... They must be the same doors. 2224 01:58:35,600 --> 01:58:36,720 Somebody found those and stuck 'em back on. 2225 01:58:36,880 --> 01:58:38,440 [Jeremy] We left them... I remember, we had to lighten. 2226 01:58:38,960 --> 01:58:41,160 [James] I think we left the doors with that bloke. 2227 01:58:41,320 --> 01:58:42,160 [Jeremy] Noah. 2228 01:58:42,360 --> 01:58:43,960 -[James] That's right. -Noah the bush mechanic. 2229 01:58:44,120 --> 01:58:46,880 I wonder if Noah went and recovered the cars and put the doors back on. 2230 01:58:47,440 --> 01:58:48,840 He probably did. 2231 01:59:06,120 --> 01:59:07,280 [trunk closing] 2232 01:59:07,440 --> 01:59:08,520 Okay. 2233 01:59:10,400 --> 01:59:11,520 Incredible. 2234 01:59:23,440 --> 01:59:24,920 [soft music] 2235 01:59:26,880 --> 01:59:29,880 [Jeremy] Having spent the night in a luxury camp, 2236 01:59:30,040 --> 01:59:33,400 we met for breakfast with our minds all focused 2237 01:59:34,120 --> 01:59:35,560 on the same thing. 2238 01:59:38,560 --> 01:59:39,520 [phone bleeping] 2239 01:59:43,720 --> 01:59:45,280 [Jeremy] Have you heard anything from Amazon? 2240 01:59:45,440 --> 01:59:47,920 -[Richard] Yeah, I got an email here. -[Jeremy] Have you? 2241 01:59:50,280 --> 01:59:51,760 They want their laptops back. 2242 01:59:53,680 --> 01:59:56,280 So no big fat cheque? No contract? 2243 01:59:56,440 --> 01:59:59,040 No letter pleading with us to keep going? 2244 01:59:59,960 --> 02:00:01,200 No, I got nothing. 2245 02:00:01,680 --> 02:00:03,320 Right, well, this really is our last breakfast then, isn't it? 2246 02:00:03,520 --> 02:00:04,440 [Richard] Yeah. 2247 02:00:06,240 --> 02:00:07,240 This is it. 2248 02:00:08,120 --> 02:00:10,280 [Jeremy] Have you seen this, Hammond? 2249 02:00:11,000 --> 02:00:12,480 When you broke down yesterday, 2250 02:00:13,160 --> 02:00:14,480 we were driving along. 2251 02:00:18,360 --> 02:00:19,760 [Richard] Wait, are those...? 2252 02:00:20,400 --> 02:00:22,480 Are they your cars from when we were last here? Seriously? 2253 02:00:22,640 --> 02:00:23,960 [Jeremy] Yeah. They were just at the side of the road. 2254 02:00:24,160 --> 02:00:25,680 It's definitely the same ones. 2255 02:00:25,880 --> 02:00:27,720 So they've been here ever since. Driving about. 2256 02:00:27,920 --> 02:00:29,800 It still smells the same, the Mercedes. 2257 02:00:30,000 --> 02:00:31,080 And talking of which, 2258 02:00:32,320 --> 02:00:34,480 we've got the final push today. 2259 02:00:34,920 --> 02:00:37,160 A short journey to Kubu Island. 2260 02:00:37,320 --> 02:00:38,120 [Richard] Mm-hmm. 2261 02:00:38,320 --> 02:00:39,960 [Jeremy] Across the salt pans. 2262 02:00:40,160 --> 02:00:41,680 Why don't we do it 2263 02:00:42,640 --> 02:00:44,000 Makgadikgadi style? 2264 02:00:47,320 --> 02:00:48,960 [tense music] 2265 02:01:05,560 --> 02:01:07,160 [Jeremy] This is it. 2266 02:01:07,360 --> 02:01:09,360 This is how we did it the last time. 2267 02:01:09,840 --> 02:01:10,840 No doors! 2268 02:01:12,760 --> 02:01:14,880 What a way to end The Grand Tour! 2269 02:01:15,400 --> 02:01:16,440 What a place! 2270 02:01:16,640 --> 02:01:18,640 [engines roaring] 2271 02:01:24,440 --> 02:01:27,040 ["Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits playing] 2272 02:01:53,240 --> 02:01:55,440 ["Brothers in Arms" continues playing] 2273 02:02:23,120 --> 02:02:27,360 ♪ These mist-covered mountains ♪ 2274 02:02:29,560 --> 02:02:32,520 ♪ Are a home now for me ♪ 2275 02:02:35,880 --> 02:02:39,920 ♪ But my home is the lowlands ♪ 2276 02:02:41,960 --> 02:02:44,960 ♪ And always will be ♪ 2277 02:02:48,160 --> 02:02:52,360 ♪ Someday you'll return to ♪ 2278 02:02:54,760 --> 02:02:58,120 ♪ Your valleys and your farms ♪ 2279 02:03:01,360 --> 02:03:07,400 ♪ And you'll no longer burn to be brothers in arms ♪ 2280 02:03:08,800 --> 02:03:11,040 ["Brothers in Arms" continues playing] 2281 02:03:24,040 --> 02:03:25,080 [Jeremy] There it is. 2282 02:03:26,760 --> 02:03:28,120 Kubu Island. 2283 02:03:29,240 --> 02:03:30,600 Oh, God, I think that's it. 2284 02:03:32,400 --> 02:03:33,440 That is it. 2285 02:03:34,200 --> 02:03:36,360 ["Brothers in Arms continues" playing] 2286 02:03:42,600 --> 02:03:44,760 There's our tree. 2287 02:03:47,960 --> 02:03:50,240 It just remains for me to say, 2288 02:03:51,400 --> 02:03:54,680 thank you very, very much for watching. 2289 02:03:56,320 --> 02:03:57,320 Thank you. 2290 02:04:00,760 --> 02:04:01,720 It means a lot. 2291 02:05:17,040 --> 02:05:18,320 [soft music] 2292 02:05:49,360 --> 02:05:50,360 [Jeremy] Poof. 2293 02:05:51,680 --> 02:05:52,920 And, er... 2294 02:05:53,960 --> 02:05:54,800 That's it. 2295 02:05:58,520 --> 02:05:59,840 [mike cutting off] 2296 02:06:01,480 --> 02:06:05,280 ["My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison playing] 2297 02:06:28,400 --> 02:06:30,480 ♪ My sweet Lord ♪ 2298 02:06:32,000 --> 02:06:34,520 ♪ Mm, my Lord ♪ 2299 02:06:36,440 --> 02:06:38,680 ♪ I really want to see you ♪ 2300 02:06:40,600 --> 02:06:43,000 ♪ Really want to be with you ♪ 2301 02:06:44,600 --> 02:06:49,960 ♪ Really want to see you, Lord But it takes so long, my Lord ♪ 2302 02:06:51,760 --> 02:06:54,320 ♪ My sweet Lord ♪ 2303 02:06:56,160 --> 02:06:58,600 ♪ Mm, my Lord ♪ 2304 02:07:00,280 --> 02:07:02,920 ♪ I really wanna see you ♪ 2305 02:07:04,560 --> 02:07:06,960 ♪ Really wanna see you ♪ 2306 02:07:08,520 --> 02:07:11,280 ♪ Really wanna see you, Lord ♪ 2307 02:07:13,000 --> 02:07:17,880 ♪ Really wanna see you, Lord But it takes so long, my Lord ♪ 2308 02:07:18,040 --> 02:07:19,480 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2309 02:07:19,640 --> 02:07:21,680 ♪ My sweet Lord ♪ 2310 02:07:21,840 --> 02:07:23,520 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2311 02:07:23,680 --> 02:07:25,640 ♪ Mm, my Lord ♪ 2312 02:07:25,800 --> 02:07:27,440 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2313 02:07:27,640 --> 02:07:29,680 ♪ My, my, my Lord ♪ 2314 02:07:29,840 --> 02:07:31,840 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2315 02:07:32,000 --> 02:07:33,640 ♪ I really wanna know you ♪ 2316 02:07:33,800 --> 02:07:36,400 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2317 02:07:36,600 --> 02:07:40,080 ♪ Really wanna go with you Hallelujah ♪ 2318 02:07:40,240 --> 02:07:42,560 ♪ Really wanna show you, Lord ♪ 2319 02:07:42,720 --> 02:07:45,520 ♪ That it won't take long, my Lord ♪ 2320 02:07:45,680 --> 02:07:48,200 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2321 02:07:48,360 --> 02:07:49,440 ♪ Mm, my Lord ♪ 2322 02:07:49,600 --> 02:07:51,440 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 2323 02:07:51,600 --> 02:07:54,480 -♪ My sweet Lord ♪ -[music fading out] 2324 02:07:56,440 --> 02:07:58,000 [Jeremy] Are we ready, gentlemen? 2325 02:07:58,400 --> 02:08:00,680 [Richard] Honestly, I don't know. 2326 02:08:02,920 --> 02:08:05,200 -[Jeremy] He's on it! -[James] I'm on the shunter! 2327 02:08:05,400 --> 02:08:08,960 [Richard laughing] A properly three-legged old man went past! 2328 02:08:10,760 --> 02:08:12,600 [James] Maybe leaking slightly. 2329 02:08:13,400 --> 02:08:14,200 [Jeremy] What a moron. 2330 02:08:17,040 --> 02:08:20,200 [Richard] There must have been 40 people in the room when the police arrived. 2331 02:08:20,400 --> 02:08:22,200 -[car crashing] -[Richard] Woah! 2332 02:08:22,360 --> 02:08:24,560 [James] Clarkson! 2333 02:08:26,960 --> 02:08:29,080 [Jeremy] Sideways in linen. 2334 02:08:31,760 --> 02:08:34,440 -[James] Bollocks. -[Richard giggling] 2335 02:08:36,520 --> 02:08:40,920 [Jeremy] Get out of the way, get out of the way, I'm in a race. 2336 02:08:43,600 --> 02:08:45,760 -[James] Let's sing a song. -[Richard] No. 2337 02:08:48,560 --> 02:08:50,200 [Jeremy] There's no dignity in that, is there? 2338 02:08:50,400 --> 02:08:51,240 [Richard] Nah. 2339 02:08:54,760 --> 02:08:56,200 [Jeremy] Okay, it's time now 2340 02:08:57,000 --> 02:08:59,200 and, nobody's ever said this on a car show before, 2341 02:09:00,040 --> 02:09:01,800 save the world. 2342 02:09:04,040 --> 02:09:07,520 [Richard] We don't all have to go to the same old folk's home, do we? 2343 02:09:07,680 --> 02:09:09,360 -[James] No. -[Jeremy laughing]