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[suspenseful music]

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[lively music]

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[intriguing music]

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[Jeremy] Hello, and welcome
to <i>The Grand Tour,</i>

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and this,
the Lamborghini Huracán Sterrato.

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Unlike the normal Huracán,
which was designed

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to prowl round city centres
late at night doing nine miles an hour,

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this was designed
to blast across a desert

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doing a hundred and sixty.

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It's got the roof racks,
it's got the flared wheel arches,

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it's got beefed-up undersides,
long-travel suspension.

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It is the Lamborghini 'Rogue Hero'.

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[James] And it's not just Lamborghini
getting in on the desert raid act.

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This, is the Porsche 911 Dakar.

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It has four-wheel drive, skid plates

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and fifty millimetres more ground
clearance than a regular 911.

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[Richard] Even Morgan's having a go.

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Yup, this is the CXT
and it too stands upon stilts.

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It's got adjustable rally spec dampers

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and an external roll cage.

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Nice.

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[Jeremy] All these cars are of course
very tremendous,

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but they're also very not cheap.

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The Porsche is a 173,000 pounds.

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The Morgan is 204,000

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and this is 250,000.

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And that got us thinking.

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Could we build a rally raid car
for less?

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A lot less.

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[suspenseful music]

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[James] Let's have a look
at what we've bought.

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I went for this,
a Maserati GranCabrio,

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for which I paid just under
26,000 pounds.

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Richard Hammond has bought this,

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it's an Aston Martin DB9 V12 Volante,

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which cost him 22,000 pounds.

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And Jeremy Clarkson, this,
the Jaguar F-Type V6S,

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- 25,000 pounds.
- [cell phone chimes]

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And needless to say,
we've just had a text

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from Mr Wilman.

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[Richard] Go on.

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It says,

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"You will now turn your purchases
into desert racers.

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"When you finish, you will report
to the railway station

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"in the town of Choum,
which is in Mauritania."

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Where's Mauritania?

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Perhaps he's misspelt Mauritius?

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[Richard] Well, it isn't anywhere.

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It's not a real place.

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- Well, Mauritania.
- [James] What are you on about?

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[Richard] Come on.

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"The Lion, the Witch,
and the Looking Glass,"

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"Alice Through the Wardrobe,"
all of that.

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You go through the back of the wardrobe,

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you say a cheery hello
to the talking lion as you pass in,

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and you watch out
for the people running about

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with playing cards on as tabards.

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You've got C.S. Lewis
echoing around in there.

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- Yes.
- [Jeremy] Lewis Carroll.

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They were not travel books.

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[Jeremy] You don't think
this place exists?

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There's no such place as Mauritania!

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[suspenseful music]

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[Jeremy] <i>It turns out, however,
there is such a place as Mauritania.</i>

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<i>It's a former French colony
in West Africa.</i>

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<i>And this is what it looks like.</i>

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<i>Two thirds of this vast country,</i>

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<i>it's four times bigger than the UK,
has been buried...</i>

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<i>by the Sahara Desert.</i>

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<i>Which means that for the most part,
it is mile after mile</i>

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<i>of nothing...</i>

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<i>and nobody.</i>

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<i>But here,</i>

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<i>in the middle of this gigantic sea
of super-heated emptiness,</i>

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<i>there is a railway line,</i>

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<i>and it does pass through the small town
we've been told to report to...</i>

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<i>Choum.</i>

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[exotic music]

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I'm told you get a lot more
for your money in Mauritania.

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I thought it'd be more colourful,
with talking animals.

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[James] It's nice and quiet.

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- [Jeremy] Isn't it?
- [James] Yeah.

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[Richard] It's too hot
to make any noise.

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[Jeremy] It's really hot.

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- 46 degrees.
- [James] Ooh!

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It's a dry heat though.

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- [Richard] Don't say, I hate that.
- [James] I hate people...

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[Richard] It's just hot!

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- [Jeremy] Ooh, there's a restaurant.
- [Richard] Where?

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[Jeremy] Let's get a...
Oh, we can't get a beer.

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- [Richard] What?
- [Jeremy] Dry country.

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- [Richard] What?
- [Jeremy] Mauritania's dry.

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- [James] Seriously?
- It's Muslim.

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What kind of fairy-tale land
doesn't serve gin?

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I do have some mildly alcoholic
hand sanitiser, if that's any good.

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Keep hold of that.

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[Jeremy] Can I just say how nice it is

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to be back doing <i>The Grand Tour,</i>
proper <i>Grand Tour.</i>

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- [Richard] Yeah.
- Know what I mean?

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[Richard] Yeah. Somewhere dusty
and in this case, imaginary.

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[James] Is this man coming to do
some panel beating on this van?

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[Jeremy] I know what this is.

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[Richard] It's a van.
It's a really old broken van.

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[Jeremy] Mr Wilman said before we left...

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He said, "I've provided a backup vehicle
for if one of your cars goes wrong."

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Why has he sent a van?

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[Jeremy] And he says everything we need
for this trip

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is in the back of the van.
Oh, it's open.

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[Richard] You are sure? You're not just
nicking somebody's livelihood?

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Nope. No, he said. He said.

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But it does beg the question,
how do you suppose

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our cars are gonna get...
He said he'd deliver them for us.

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[Jeremy] <i>The van had plainly
been bought locally</i>

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<i>and we'd arrived by air,</i>

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<i>so Hammond reckoned there could only be
one possible answer.</i>

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[lively music]

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[Jeremy] So you think a train is going
to come along here with our cars on it?

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Well, a train... This is a likely spot
to see a train, isn't it?

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Yes, I'll grant you that.

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Yes. The only way in and out is train.
How else are they gonna get here?

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[Jeremy] <i>As there were no automated
departure boards</i>

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<i>to tell us when a train might arrive,</i>

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<i>we settled down for the wait.</i>

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[Jeremy] Have you seen how many empty
plastic bottles of water there are here?

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[Richard] Many.

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[Jeremy] Look, one...
I mean, two, three, four, five, six,

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- seven, eight, just there, nine, ten.
- [Richard] Yeah.

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[Jeremy] I would find the manufacturers
and simply kill them.

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[Richard] It's harsh, but it is a mess

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and they're going to be here
for a long time.

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- [Jeremy] Forever.
- [Richard] It's a waste.

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It's not often you get to wait
for a train just by the tracks, is it?

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[Jeremy] No.

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- You couldn't do this in Paddington.
- [James] No.

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What if it doesn't come?

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What if our cars aren't on it?

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- [Richard] There.
- [James] Where?

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There. That's it.
That's gotta be it.

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[James] Yes, you're right.

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[intriguing music]

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God, it's enormous!

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That is the biggest thing I've ever seen!

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[Jeremy] It is the biggest thing
I've ever seen.

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- [Jeremy] Can you see cars?
- [James] No.

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[Jeremy] I'm tall enough to see iron ore.

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- [James] I can see bits of...
- [Jeremy] Iron ore, iron ore.

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- What's that?
- [Richard] People.

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[Jeremy] Chaps, that is the guard's van.

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- [James] That is the end.
- [Richard] Look what's in front...

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- In front of the guard's van?
- Yes. Look.

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Look, that's a flatbed one,
that's a different type of carriage.

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- [James] That's like a flatbed.
- [Richard] There's three things on it.

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- Yeah!
- They are the cars.

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[intriguing music]

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[Jeremy] <i>The train came to a halt,</i>

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<i>and as we assumed it would be
setting off again quite soon,</i>

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<i>we had to work quickly
to get our cars off.</i>

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So what do you do?
I've no clue.

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What normally happens with cars
on a flatbed like this,

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on a Hornby railway, is you put it
in a siding with a ramp

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and then you drive them
onto the ramp and down.

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But they've got the guard's van behind.

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[James] Yes.

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He's not gonna set off
without his guard's van, is he?

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No, so that all goes, presumably
back to-- There must be a turn there.

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- We can't push it.
- [James] There'll be a shunter.

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This is basically a full-sized train set.

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There'll be a shunter on the other line,
that's how railways work.

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[Jeremy] <i>Having found a shunter train,
James spoke to its driver</i>

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00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,880
<i>in his best French.</i>

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00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:14,200
[speaking nonsense] "Buona sera.
Passo il oh il to oh shuntero?"

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00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,240
- [train horn]
- That sounds a bit...

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00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,240
That could be James coming
with a shunting engine, fully erect.

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00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,600
If he's driving it, yeah,
he'll have blown the engine.

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00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,560
If he's on it, he will be more aroused.

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Shunting engine.

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00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,320
- He's on it!
- [James] I'm on the shunter!

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00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,080
[they laugh]

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Properly three-legged old man
went past.

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00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,960
Oh yes!

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00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,200
Is this the best day
of James May's life all of a sudden?

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00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,760
[Jeremy] He's got
an entire railway network.

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00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,720
Actual full-sized train set.

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00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,880
[James] If you've ever had a Hornby train
set you'll know exactly how this works.

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00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,200
There we go.

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00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,120
Oh, here he comes, here he comes.

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00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,760
[Jeremy] <i>With a train worker approaching,</i>

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00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,160
<i>it was now my turn
to roll out the French.</i>

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00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,480
[Jeremy] <i>Monsieur.</i>

190
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,600
- [man] <i>Merci.
- Vous vous...</i>

191
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,680
<i>Je voudrais vous</i>

192
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,440
you to...

193
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,120
uncouple.

194
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,160
[Richard] And meanwhile,
here comes James.

195
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,000
I was coming to see which bit
you were...

196
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,800
I've never seen anybody happier.

197
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,120
Oh, he's going. Go on, get on it.

198
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,080
- Run away!
- [Richard] Horror!

199
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,400
One.

200
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,280
- One, one, one.
- Here we go.

201
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,040
[Jeremy] <i>At the wheel
of his big blue shunter engine,</i>

202
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,920
<i>James pushed our cars
and the guard's van into a siding,</i>

203
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,480
<i>detached the car wagon...</i>

204
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,440
So now, forwards. Release brake.

205
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,440
[Jeremy] <i>...and then reattached
the guard's van to the train,</i>

206
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:52,320
<i>which, having taken on more passengers,
set off again.</i>

207
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,080
[Richard] <i>Au revoir.</i>

208
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,520
- [James] <i>Au revoir.</i>
- [Jeremy] <i>Au revoir, mes amis.</i>

209
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:02,200
[Jeremy] <i>With the sun setting, we then
had to get our cars off the wagon.</i>

210
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,360
<i>Which meant firing up</i>

211
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:08,160
<i>the station's extremely old
and broken telehandler</i>

212
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,640
<i>and deploying my farming skills.</i>

213
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,280
[James] Tiny bit more... stop.

214
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:18,400
[Jeremy] Is this the first time we've
ever tried to do something properly?

215
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:19,760
[James and Richard]
We haven't done it yet.

216
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,200
[Richard] Tiny bit more. That's it.

217
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,880
[Jeremy] <i>I then set about retrieving
the other two.</i>

218
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,480
[Richard] I think your car might
be heavier than mine, James.

219
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,480
Down you go. Down.

220
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:32,960
[Jeremy] Tell me when I'm clear.

221
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,360
- [Richard] I think you're all right.
- That'll do.

222
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,520
[Richard] We've done it.

223
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,000
[Jeremy] We've got all three cars
into Mauritania.

224
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,960
[lively music]

225
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,760
[Jeremy] <i>The next morning,
after a short and hot, drink-free sleep,</i>

226
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,680
<i>we assembled to examine
our modifications.</i>

227
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,680
<i>Starting with my Jaguar F-Type.</i>

228
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,320
I'm a bit disappointed if I'm honest.

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00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,360
It hasn't worked out
quite how I imagined.

230
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,600
What did you imagine?

231
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,000
Well, you know in the 70s and 80s,

232
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,600
- kids, when I say kids... us.
- Us. Yeah.

233
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,400
You'd buy flared wheel arches
for your Escort

234
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,000
and then you couldn't afford to buy
big enough wheels to fill them.

235
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,760
Yes, net result it looks ridiculous.

236
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,440
[Jeremy] When you come round the back...

237
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,480
It's roughly 18-feet-wide at the back.

238
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,320
If I hadn't have bothered
with the wheel ar...

239
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,920
[James] Why put the wheel arches on?
You haven't got wheels to fill them.

240
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,640
Despite everything,

241
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,600
it's still a "Jaaaag".

242
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,720
- [James] That's good.
- [Richard] It actually says "Jaaaag".

243
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,120
[Jeremy] I've changed the badge.

244
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,320
- You've changed the "baaaadge".
- [Jeremy chuckles]

245
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,600
[Jeremy] And then I've got the hornbill
on the bonnet

246
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,640
coz I've lifted the air filters up.

247
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,600
[Richard] Yeah.

248
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,200
Then I've gone for the Stratos
light pack.

249
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,480
[Richard] You're busy explaining
your ugly baby, aren't you?

250
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,720
These are aesthetics.

251
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:05,640
Yes, and when it comes to aesthetics,
Hammond, you're on very, very thin ice.

252
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,160
- [James] You are actually.
- Hold on a moment.

253
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,040
No, there is no 'hold on a moment',
you've brought a Metro cab.

254
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,400
[Richard] Do you wanna know what it is?

255
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,080
It's an Aston Martin DB9, ruined.

256
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,880
'The Ruined' is what you should call it.

257
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,840
Mine is mildly spoiled,
yours is totally ruined.

258
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:21,840
[Richard] Noise, noise, noise.

259
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,760
Headlines: it's an Aston Martin
you can live in.

260
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,560
That is a tent, it folds out,
it's a house.

261
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,120
I live at number 1, Aston Martin Street.

262
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,800
- That's a tent?
- [Richard] That's a tent.

263
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,920
This is beautiful, it looks like a shark,
it looks stealthy.

264
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,880
[James laughs] Sorry...

265
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,600
It's filled with potential
and that potential is to live in it.

266
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,040
And why have you given it
carbon fibre breasts?

267
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,360
[Richard] Because I've raised
the air intakes at the front.

268
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,960
Oh, so it's the same
as my hornbill arrangement.

269
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,360
Yeah, so that's what that's doing.

270
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:51,600
And then I've raised the suspension.

271
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,840
- [Jeremy] You've got your lighting rig.
- [James] That's enough.

272
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,320
We will go and look at my car...

273
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,640
- I don't want to talk about your car.
- [James] No, you do.

274
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:58,840
- No I don't.
- This way.

275
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:03,120
[Jeremy] Well done, James,
that is unquestionably

276
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,880
- a good-looking car. [he chuckles]
- [Richard] It does.

277
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,840
[Jeremy] You've even put nice stripes
on it.

278
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:07,840
[James] I have.

279
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,800
[Jeremy] I've never liked the look
of this car.

280
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,480
But now you do.

281
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,520
[Richard] That actually is improved.

282
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,360
Where's your--
How have you got your air filters up?

283
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,760
Actually the bonnet is different.

284
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,760
This is a sort of facsimile
of the MC bonnet

285
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,920
if you remember the gigantic
mid-engine supercar

286
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,080
and it has extra vents in it

287
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,480
and it has a slot there.

288
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,520
This is like Christmas morning
and you got a better present than me.

289
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:30,720
I don't feel very good.

290
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:31,680
It's exactly what it is.

291
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,640
I'm so cross that your car
looks better than my car.

292
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:39,320
- Well, of course it does.
- It looks damn near as good as mine.

293
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:43,000
- [Jeremy] And what's with the roll cage?
- In case it rolls over.

294
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,760
- [cell phone chimes]
- Oh, hang on.

295
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,400
Aha!

296
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,840
Here it is...

297
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,720
- [Richard] Text.
- Text from Mr Wilman.

298
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:50,760
Go on.

299
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:54,960
"You have driven across deserts
in the past, but this is the big one,

300
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,040
"this is the Sahara,
the biggest desert in the world.

301
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,320
"And you will now drive
across it for a thousand miles

302
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:07,120
"to the beach in Senegal
where the Paris-Dakar used to finish."

303
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,080
Wait a minute,
we are doing the Paris-Dakar?

304
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,160
We are-- This is boy's own dream.

305
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,520
It's actually better than that,

306
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,640
because we don't have to do the boring
bit from Paris, we're just doing...

307
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,800
The deserty exciting bits you want to do.

308
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,640
- The best bits of the Paris-Dakar.
- That's quite epic.

309
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,800
- That is legend.
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.

310
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,680
This might have something to do
with why the Paris-Dakar

311
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,040
no longer happens
in this part of the world,

312
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,320
because there's more.

313
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,080
"You are currently
in a Foreign Office red zone.

314
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,000
"The government says terrorism
cannot be ruled out

315
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,400
"and over the border in Western Sahara,
there's a small war going on

316
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,880
"between separatists and the Moroccans.

317
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:49,080
"We've even had to warn the Moroccan
Defence Ministry about our presence here

318
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:53,400
"in case they think our crew vehicles
are an assault force and attack,

319
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,800
"so behave yourselves."

320
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,800
[lively music]

321
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,560
[Jeremy] <i>With that warning ringing
in our ears,</i>

322
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,080
<i>we fired up our engines...</i>

323
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,040
[engines revving]

324
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,040
[music continues]

325
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:13,680
<i>...and knowing only that to get to Dakar,
we had to keep heading south-west,</i>

326
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,640
<i>plunged into the Sahara.</i>

327
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,400
450 horsepower,

328
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,320
doing the Dakar in an Aston.

329
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,520
[he chuckles]

330
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,440
[Jeremy] <i>Despite Hammond's enthusiasm,</i>

331
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:43,200
<i>there was no doubt that our cars faced
a daunting task.</i>

332
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,280
<i>Because they really
hadn't been conceived</i>

333
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,960
<i>to do this kind of thing.</i>

334
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:57,640
<i>We've brought lightly modified
supermodels to a kickboxing championship.</i>

335
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,280
Thing about my car is,
it actually started life

336
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,200
when Maserati was part of Ferrari,

337
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,920
but then halfway through
its development,

338
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,240
Fiat, who owned the whole lot,
decided that Maserati

339
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:12,880
should be part of Alfa Romeo.

340
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,560
So Maserati started again and used

341
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,880
a chopped-up Quattroporte
to make this.

342
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,480
[mellow music]

343
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,520
[Jeremy] The F-Type
was a bit of a hotchpotch.

344
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,440
It started out in life as an XJ saloon

345
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,520
and then they cut it down
to make the XK,

346
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,720
then they cut it down again
to make the F-Type,

347
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,640
so it's really a cut and shut
of a cut and shut.

348
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,560
The engine's a bit of a mangled up
mishmash as well

349
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,040
because they wanted a V6

350
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,960
but couldn't afford to develop their own,
so they got their V8

351
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,720
and just chopped two cylinders off it.

352
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,320
And there we are, V6.

353
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,240
It works!
And I've gotta be honest, it does.

354
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,960
Especially with a super charger,
which you can hear.

355
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,640
[engine revving]

356
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,760
My car was actually styled
at Jaguar's design centre

357
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,920
in a corner of the office
behind a curtain, genuinely.

358
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:22,920
And then it was put together using
quite a lot of Ford-based parts.

359
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,760
But it is still an Aston Martin,

360
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,160
and many feel
it's the first proper Aston Martin

361
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,960
since the old DB days.

362
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,520
Oh, sat-nav's woken up.

363
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,960
Just south of Manchester, apparently.

364
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,440
Ooh, look at this. Dunes!

365
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,560
[intriguing music]

366
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,320
Proper Sahara.

367
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,000
[Jeremy] <i>Dunes are notoriously dangerous.</i>

368
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,080
<i>So we decided to muck about.</i>

369
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,200
[engine revving]

370
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:03,000
Oh, yeah. We are not the rogue heroes.
We are the three kings.

371
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,400
And thanks to my USB connectivity,
we have a soundtrack.

372
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,160
[music starts]

373
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,080
["If You Leave Me Now"
by Chicago playing]

374
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,680
<i>♪ If you leave me now ♪</i>

375
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,400
♪<i>You'll take away
the biggest part of me ♪</i>

376
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:29,520
<i>♪ Ooh, no, baby, please don't go ♪</i>

377
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,760
<i>♪ And if you leave me now ♪</i>

378
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,920
<i>♪ You'll take away the very heart of me ♪</i>

379
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:46,200
<i>♪ Ooh, no, baby, please don't go ♪</i>

380
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:53,400
<i>♪ Ooh, girl, I just want you to stay ♪</i>

381
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,120
Oh, f-[beep]-ing hell!

382
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,080
Ah, don't cut the corners.

383
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,960
There's a top tip there.

384
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,760
Oh no. Oh no.

385
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,840
[Richard] <i>I think my air-conditioning
just packed up. I genuinely think it did.</i>

386
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,400
Ho! Oh.

387
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,280
That is an unbelievably rotten bit
of luck. Mine's working.

388
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,040
What is the temperature out there?

389
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,440
48 degrees.

390
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,680
Holy cow.

391
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,360
Um...

392
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,520
High engine temp.

393
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:33,680
Stop.

394
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,840
[Richard] <i>Mine is telling me to stop
immediately.</i>

395
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,080
Good God.

396
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:43,640
[James] Hi.

397
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:44,600
[Richard] Ah.

398
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,160
What seems to be the trouble, sir?
Having a spot of bother, are we?

399
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,720
A lot of it can be explained by that.

400
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,160
[James] Oh, yes.

401
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,000
- [Richard] What have you got there?
- A fan.

402
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,080
[Richard] Right.

403
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:58,840
From Peter Jones.

404
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,800
It really has stopped
working in there.

405
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,680
That's what I'm wondering,
if it's lost the belt.

406
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,560
- What's that?
- That's coolant,

407
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,080
I suspect,
that's probably come out of here.

408
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,840
And it's weird,
cos it says it's handbuilt.

409
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,360
- Yeah, I think...
- Which means done really carefully.

410
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:14,480
[Richard] "Handbuilt in England."

411
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,240
- [Jeremy] Handbuilt in England.
- [Richard] That's the problem.

412
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,760
- [Richard] That's why...
- [Jeremy] There it is.

413
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,840
[Richard chuckles]

414
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,520
[Richard] It's still off the dial.

415
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,000
[Jeremy] You can't just sit there.
You're going to have to get...

416
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,720
I'm going to have to let it cool,
that's all I can do.

417
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,000
I can't touch anything.

418
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,960
- You've got to mend it.
- Why can't you touch it?

419
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:31,960
Because it's hot.

420
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,400
So you wait for it to cool down,
then take the engine out.

421
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,240
It'll never cool down. It's 49 degrees.

422
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,040
It's right at the top of the gauge.

423
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,920
No, no, no. External temperature.

424
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,120
Uh...

425
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:42,720
63.

426
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,320
- What, that's Fahrenheit?
- [Richard] Fahrenheit, yes.

427
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,000
- Well, it's not 60.
- [Richard] That's a summer's...

428
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,400
- This thinks it's in Nottingham.
- [Jeremy laughs]

429
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:50,800
It does, look.

430
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,160
[Jeremy] It's 63 degrees Fahrenheit
and it's in Nottingham.

431
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:55,880
That's what it thinks.

432
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,440
So, what are we going to do?

433
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:02,800
[Jeremy] <i>Given that Hammond had a house
and a car</i>

434
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,440
<i>which believed it was in
the East Midlands on a nice spring day,</i>

435
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,240
<i>I decided not to give him my fan.</i>

436
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,800
<i>And then we left.</i>

437
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,240
[engine revving]

438
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,360
[he sighs]

439
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,320
[intriguing music]

440
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:29,760
OK, sitrep. We've done 15 minutes
of travel and two of us are still moving.

441
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,640
[western music]

442
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:38,080
[Richard] <i>Mercifully, I worked out
what was wrong quite quickly.</i>

443
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,480
This fluid that I thought was coolant
from the engine

444
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,640
that had boiled over and come out

445
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,880
isn't engine coolant.
It's power steering fluid.

446
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,440
It's come out of there.

447
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,320
That just got hot and boiled because
it was so hot in the engine bay.

448
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,280
I need to get heat out.

449
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,840
[Richard] Right, Mr Wilman's backup van.

450
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,440
- There must be tools.
- [metallic clinking]

451
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,560
Ooh.

452
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,720
Really? God, I hope I don't need that.

453
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,880
Oh, hang on. Tools? Right.

454
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,720
Oh. Oh, that's causing me pain.
It hurts me more than you.

455
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:16,240
There.

456
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:22,760
Please start.

457
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,160
[engine starting]

458
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,200
Yes. And I've given you air.

459
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,840
[intriguing music]

460
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,120
[Richard] <i>There was one other thing
I could do to help cool the engine,</i>

461
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,760
<i>but it was unimaginable.</i>

462
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,600
I don't want to do it.
I'm going to have to do it.

463
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:41,880
Turn the heating up,

464
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:47,720
because that will actually pull hot air
out from under the engine bay

465
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,440
and deliver it to me.

466
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,720
Oh, yeah, that is hot now.

467
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,080
Argh.

468
00:25:58,560 --> 00:25:59,400
[Jeremy] <i>Up ahead,</i>

469
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,760
<i>I hadn't felt this alone since James
and I drove to the North Pole.</i>

470
00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:07,480
[exotic music]

471
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:13,960
Mauritania is empty. Totally empty.
Look at it.

472
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,400
No one comes here.

473
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,760
When we got the filming permit,

474
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,280
it was number 58.
The 58th filming permit

475
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,200
this country has issued since 1960.

476
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,120
That's 63 years.

477
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,040
They've only issued 58 filming permits.

478
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,280
[music continues]

479
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,520
[Jeremy] <i>Hammond, you're back.</i>

480
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,280
Made holes in the bonnet

481
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,040
and I'm running with the heater on.
I don't have long to live.

482
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,000
[he laughs]

483
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,720
Ooh, I don't fancy that.

484
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,040
[lively music]

485
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,440
[Jeremy] <i>We continued onwards
with our boil-in-the-bag colleague</i>

486
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,120
<i>until our thirsty engines needed petrol.</i>

487
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,560
<i>Which, because the Sahara doesn't have
many service stations,</i>

488
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:19,480
<i>meant pulling over at a fuel bowser
that Mr Wilman had provided.</i>

489
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,680
How have you got yourself
in that state?

490
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,800
We got... we got seatbelt marks.

491
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,880
- I'm in an Aga. Literally an Aga.
- [James] Oh dear.

492
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,560
- Can I just have a word with you two?
- What?

493
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,000
[Richard] What?

494
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,080
Chaps, before we set off,
Mr Wilman said,

495
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:44,800
could we stage a, let's be honest,
contrived accident? Yeah.

496
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,600
Where the fuel tanker blows up.

497
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:48,840
The what?

498
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,440
Because he'll want us to have
"oh, no, we're stuck in the desert

499
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,960
"with no fuel" panics.

500
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:54,480
- TV jeopardy.
- There you go.

501
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:59,200
No, no, no, no, no. He wants an explosion
to put in the trailer of the show.

502
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,360
- Oh, right.
- I'd vote no to that.

503
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,680
- I would as well.
- I'd vote no.

504
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,200
- That's cheese.
- I don't want to blow it up.

505
00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:07,120
- Plus he wants us to.
- [Jeremy] Right.

506
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,560
So let's look after this with our lives.

507
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,280
It's the most precious thing we have.

508
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:16,720
[Jeremy] Right, I'm full. May?

509
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:18,800
- Yes?
- [Jeremy] She's all yours.

510
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:21,920
[Jeremy] James, where are you going?

511
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,080
I'm getting a length on
so we can get it round here.

512
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,720
Could you press the button to, um,
it's down there?

513
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,720
- It's got a little...
- [Richard] Oh, yeah, got it.

514
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:30,960
- Yeah, it's there.
- It's there.

515
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,360
- We can see that.
- It's got a petrol pump on...

516
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,240
- [James] Can you press it?
- Yeah.

517
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,320
- Anything else?
- [James] Yeah, can you press it?

518
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:40,160
- Uh, I, yeah, I, I...
- [James] Would you press it, please?

519
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,280
- I've done it.
- He did press it.

520
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,360
- [James] He didn't.
- He did.

521
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,000
Apart from I did.

522
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,880
- [James] You didn't.
- I just pressed it again.

523
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:52,640
[James] Could you turn the ignition on
and press it, please?

524
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,280
Oh, that means two things.

525
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,360
There you go.

526
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,720
[Richard] So, they're really good
instructions.

527
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,400
- [James] Ow!
- I warned you, James.

528
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:02,920
It's the hottest thing in the...

529
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,920
Ow! Ah! Ah!

530
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,960
[lively music]

531
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,880
[Jeremy] <i>Having filled up
from the very toasty fuel bowser,</i>

532
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,440
<i>we moved on.</i>

533
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:23,120
<i>And pretty soon, we encountered
our first big geological problem.</i>

534
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,200
Chaps, I'm a little bit unnerved
by that...

535
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,200
endless cliff face

536
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,160
in front of us.

537
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,520
[ominous music]

538
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,480
I mean, there is no end in sight.

539
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,880
There is no end in sight
of that mountain range.

540
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,120
Bugger.

541
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,440
[Jeremy] <i>If somebody's gone to the bother
of making this track,</i>

542
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,080
they wouldn't just build a track
to the bottom of the cliff, would they?

543
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:02,080
[Jeremy] <i>Soon, we found out
why there was a track.</i>

544
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,400
Why the bloody hell
would somebody build a tunnel

545
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,960
in the middle of the Sahara Desert?

546
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,800
Probably a mine for something scary.

547
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,640
Mining what, though? Dust?

548
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,440
[Jeremy] Hammond,
there'll be nothing scary in it.

549
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,840
Hey! James, we could have a race
down here.

550
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,960
[James] That's an excellent idea
and I don't want to take part.

551
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,600
Don't you think that's a good idea?

552
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,240
Who can reach the highest speed
and then brake before hitting...

553
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,760
Oh, no, you can't do that.

554
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:34,880
[animal squealing noise]

555
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,720
- [Jeremy] Oh, shit, shit! Guys, stop.
- [Richard] Why?

556
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,160
They're bats.

557
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,240
[Jeremy] There's a lot of bats.
Out. Out now, everybody out.

558
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:44,960
[James] Bats aren't dangerous.

559
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,600
[Richard] Bats aren't... That's just...
You're thinking of Scooby-Doo.

560
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,160
- [Jeremy] You've heard of Ebola?
- [Richard] Yes.

561
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,640
[Jeremy] You bleed from your eyes,
your nose, all your orifices,

562
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,160
- all of them. And then you die quickly.
- [Richard] Yes.

563
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,240
[Jeremy] But just enough time
for your family to get to your bedside

564
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,920
and then you explode,
showering them with infected blood.

565
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,640
[Jeremy] Most experts agree it lives

566
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,760
in bats in West Africa.

567
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,080
[Jeremy and Richard]
And we're in West Africa.

568
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,000
- But we now have a problem.
- Not really. We don't go in the tunnel.

569
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,720
Well, no, we have to go in the tunnel.

570
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,360
We have to go in the tunnel
and we have to drive incredibly quickly.

571
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,600
No, not incredibly quickly.

572
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,240
[James] You'll kick stuff up.

573
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,960
It could be in bat guano, did you say?

574
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:28,960
- It could be... Yeah, nobody...
- That's bat poo.

575
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,760
Yeah, bat poo.
Which would be on the floor.

576
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,280
Exactly. You'll kick it up
with your wheels by going...

577
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,480
One at a time.
Incredibly quickly.

578
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,680
[suspenseful music]

579
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,480
Right, windows up.

580
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,720
Air on recirculation so it takes the air

581
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,120
in the cabin and sends it back
into the cabin.

582
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,120
I don't want Ebola.

583
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,360
Right, here I go.

584
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:58,880
That's good. <i>Doucement. Doucement</i>.

585
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,160
- [engine revving]
- No!

586
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,840
- And there's the Ebola.
- Run away.

587
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,520
[suspenseful music]

588
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,480
[Jeremy] Oh, there's a bat!

589
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,720
A bat went past the window!

590
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,560
I've got Ebola!

591
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,240
How long is this bloody thing?

592
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,440
Oh, there's the end!

593
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,440
Relax, relax, relax.

594
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:25,920
Oh, Christ!

595
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,000
What the...

596
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,480
the bloody hell's that all about?

597
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,680
- [Richard] Going in. At a sensible speed.
- [James] Don't make, don't kick up

598
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,560
- a load of dust.
- I'm not going to kick up dust.

599
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,760
[engine revving]

600
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,600
[Jeremy] Shit.

601
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,720
So that's the border with Western Sahara.

602
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,200
Hammond, Hammond, Hammond.

603
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,640
[indistinct crackling on radio]

604
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,160
Richard Hammond, can you hear me?

605
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,640
Oh, there's light, there's light!

606
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,520
- [Jeremy] Stop, stop, stop!
- Bloody hell!

607
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,800
- Aaggh!
- [crash]

608
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,320
Back up exactly where
your wheels are.

609
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,360
[Jeremy] <i>Back up exactly where
your wheels are.</i>

610
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,360
It says "mines".

611
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,240
[Jeremy] Yes, you're in a minefield.

612
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,000
Back up exactly where your wheels are,

613
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,160
'cause we know there are no mines there.

614
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,800
You're going to drive over
the barbed wire,

615
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,920
which will probably give you
a puncture,

616
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,640
<i>but relax on that.</i>

617
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:53,960
[Jeremy] Right.

618
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,520
[Jeremy] <i>You're safe.</i>

619
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,280
- Minefield.
- I know.

620
00:33:58,480 --> 00:33:59,760
[Jeremy] That is Western Sahara.

621
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,800
Do you think it really is a minefield?

622
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:10,840
Well, it's the kind of thing you
generally take a sign's word for.

623
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,320
If it said "Caution caterpillars",

624
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,360
I'd go and have a look.

625
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,120
But, I mean, you only need
to put the sign up, don't you?

626
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,560
Yeah, but you might have put
the mines in as well.

627
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,800
Yeah, but if I were them,
I'd just put the sign up.

628
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,040
- You're lazy and don't have any mines.
- Yes. [chuckles]

629
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,160
No, but in my mind,
there aren't any mines there.

630
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,520
- Shall we go for a little jog?
- No.

631
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,120
[James] What the hell is...

632
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,640
- [James] What's that?
- It's a minefield.

633
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,280
- A minefield.
- Hammond's been in it.

634
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,000
- You've been in it?
- [Jeremy] He crashed through the fence.

635
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:53,560
[ominous music]

636
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,760
[Jeremy] <i>We now had a problem.</i>

637
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:02,520
<i>In front of us was what we had to assume
was an actual minefield.</i>

638
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,640
<i>While behind us was a tunnel
full of infected bat dung.</i>

639
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,000
I don't want to go back through
the tunnel of Ebola.

640
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,160
And even if we do go back that way,
there's that massive cliff face.

641
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,400
Yes, but that's a problem
to try and overcome.

642
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,160
That's something to try and solve.

643
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,480
- That isn't. You can't solve it.
- Yes, so, we have no choice.

644
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,160
- That's navigation.
- You're right. You're absolutely right.

645
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,440
We have no... We cannot...

646
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,480
- [Jeremy] Stop!
- [Richard] Not in the minefield!

647
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:36,320
[James] Stop!

648
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:37,920
- [Jeremy] Stop!
- [James] Stop!

649
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,400
[Richard whistles]

650
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:42,840
[Jeremy] Wilman might get his trailer.

651
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,320
No, well, are you gonna stand here
while he does?

652
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,280
No, I'm gonna back up.

653
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:49,360
[Jeremy] <i>The fuel tanker</i>

654
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,120
<i>disappeared out of sight
without detonating.</i>

655
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,120
<i>But that didn't change our minds.</i>

656
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,360
<i>So, we turned round...</i>

657
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,080
[engine revving]

658
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,320
<i>...and went back through the tunnel.</i>

659
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,680
[Jeremy] How are we going
to get over that?

660
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,000
I don't know how we're going to get over.

661
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,160
[intriguing music]

662
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,200
[Jeremy] <i>After many hours,
we eventually found a rough track,</i>

663
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,920
<i>which looked like it might go
to the top of the escarpment.</i>

664
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,880
[Richard] Ooh, this is bumpy, this bit.

665
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,160
[Jeremy] Yeah.

666
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,160
Come on, Jag. You can do this.

667
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,000
This car is actually surprising me.

668
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,680
I suppose it's 'cause it's light,
isn't it, the Jag?

669
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,840
[James] <i>Well, that makes a huge
difference, yeah.</i>

670
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,160
<i>I think mine probably weighs
more than two tonnes now.</i>

671
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:54,880
[Richard] Come on.

672
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,440
Oh!

673
00:36:58,640 --> 00:36:59,800
Oh.

674
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,960
Oh, bloody hell!

675
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,440
[James] God, come on!

676
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:13,920
Bollocks.

677
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,320
Here he comes, in the Jaguar.

678
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,120
You're going to hit that big rock.

679
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:21,480
- Behold the--
- [cracking]

680
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,560
Oooh.

681
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,760
If you can move and give me a tiny nudge,
Jezza, that would be brilliant.

682
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,520
[reverse beeping]

683
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,160
The gazelle has moved the walrus.

684
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,000
Thank you very much.

685
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,160
[beeped expletive from Richard]

686
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,840
Come on, gently. Yes, yes.

687
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,400
I'm beginning to rather like my Jaag.

688
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:02,880
I'm sorry I was initially disappointed
in it, because it's bloody brilliant.

689
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,560
[Jeremy] <i>Eventually,
we achieved our objective.</i>

690
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,080
[intriguing music]

691
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,880
[Richard] Well, this is
definitely the top.

692
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,640
[Richard] I'd say.

693
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,480
And that appears to be a...
that's a building site.

694
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,080
Is that our fuel bowser?

695
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,760
[James] <i>He must have got through
that minefield, mustn't he?</i>

696
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,360
[Jeremy] <i>Mr Wilman's going to be furious</i>

697
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,640
'cause it hasn't blown up. He's got
nothing for his trailer. [laughs]

698
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,640
[Richard] Yeah, uh, chaps,
I'm inclined to stop here.

699
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,200
[Jeremy] Why?

700
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,920
[Richard] You'll see.

701
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,520
- [Jeremy] Ho-ho, look! There's a road.
- [James] Ooh, yeah.

702
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,840
Well, yeah, there is,
and it is a nice road, but--

703
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,120
- Exactly.
- It's down there.

704
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,680
[James] It doesn't join up with here,
does it?

705
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,120
[Richard] It's not connected to here.

706
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,400
- We'll drive down here.
- What?

707
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,840
- [Jeremy] We'll drive down here.
- [Richard] Yeah, down that track.

708
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,160
It's a cliff!

709
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,160
There's too much gravity
immediately available

710
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,440
between where we're standing
and that road.

711
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,440
And it isn't a cruel
and unpredictable mistress.

712
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:16,760
No, it's bloody reliable.

713
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,000
- Listen, if I go first...
- Yeah.

714
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,040
Which I'm prepared to do...

715
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,800
- Really?
- Yeah, I'll go first.

716
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,440
The backup van's there, yes?

717
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:24,440
[James] Yes.

718
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,440
[Jeremy] That's bound to have some cable
in it.

719
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:30,600
Why don't I attach my car
to one of those diggers?

720
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,080
Actually, we could use the other
one as a pulley.

721
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,600
And then I drive down,

722
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,960
but I've got the safety of the cable.

723
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:42,520
Years ago, at some point,
you confused engineers with cartoonists.

724
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:48,560
What this is, is a very, very, very
commendably elaborate suicide.

725
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:49,960
[Jeremy laughs]

726
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,040
[Jeremy] <i>Nevertheless,
there was no other choice,</i>

727
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,120
<i>so we went for a rummage
in the backup van.</i>

728
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:00,920
[Jeremy] That is a proper cable.

729
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,600
[Richard] Is it rated
to four or five tonnes?

730
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:05,760
[James] Looks like it.

731
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,360
It'll be incredibly heavy.

732
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:08,920
- Right, are we ready?
- Feet.

733
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:10,200
Here we go.

734
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,880
[intriguing music]

735
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,360
[Jeremy] <i>Once I'd rigged up the cables</i>

736
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,640
<i>with no help at all
from the digger drivers,</i>

737
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,320
<i>and paid their boss...</i>

738
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,640
[Jeremy] Ten thousand MRU's.

739
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,560
Lord Clarkson.

740
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,760
I don't have a check guarantee card,
I'm afraid,

741
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,840
but it's OK, because I have a "Jaaaag".

742
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,880
[Jeremy] <i>I then explained the setup
to my colleagues.</i>

743
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,920
- So, I drive over there, yeah?
- [Richard] Yeah.

744
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,640
And then the chap in that digger
is going to drive forwards

745
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,960
at the same speed
I'm driving down the hill.

746
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,320
- And then, those pulleys.
- [Richard] Yes.

747
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,440
He can swing this arm.

748
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,840
So, as I perhaps change direction
as I go down the slope,

749
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,160
picking out a route,

750
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,560
you'll need to tell
him to swing it right or left. So...

751
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,160
- Does he speak English?
- [Jeremy] What?

752
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,160
- Does he...
- [Jeremy] No.

753
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,840
They're all actually Mauritanian,
but they speak Arabic and French.

754
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,200
- Arabic? No. French?
- French. I'm your man.

755
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,640
[Jeremy] <i>With my back-up sorted,
I climbed aboard.</i>

756
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,560
Are you going to go down in gear
or in neutral?

757
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,040
[Jeremy] I've got to drive, haven't I?
I need to be in first.

758
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:24,680
Right, are we ready?

759
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,480
[Richard] Stand on us, we'll see you
right. You have our support.

760
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,360
[Jeremy] Jesus.

761
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,160
- [James] Bear left.
- [Richard] Little bit of left.

762
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:38,880
[James] Bit of left.

763
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,640
[Richard] You're very close to the...
you're driving off a cliff.

764
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,360
[Jeremy] But the good thing is,
due to my Stratos spotlights,

765
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,160
I can't see that.

766
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,760
[suspenseful music]

767
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:56,520
OK.

768
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,520
I can now see what I've got to do
for the first time.

769
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:03,920
Don't like this.

770
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,520
Actually, really don't like this.

771
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,520
[Jeremy gasps]

772
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,280
[Jeremy] <i>I need to go left.</i>

773
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,960
<i>If you can ask him to swing his arm left.</i>

774
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,320
Swing his arm left.
On it.

775
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,360
'Cause I don't want to go down
that gully.

776
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,080
<i>S'il vous plaît, beaucoup...</i>

777
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:30,840
left.

778
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:31,800
<i>Droite.</i>

779
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,840
[Jeremy] <i>Whatever you mimed, Hammond,
wasn't bad.</i>

780
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,880
Come on, turn, turn, turn,
you bastard.

781
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:46,680
Come left, come left.

782
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,840
Come left, my little mountain goat
of a car.

783
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,360
- That's better.
- All straightened.

784
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,160
[Jeremy] Christ, what am I doing?

785
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,760
Oooh, hoohoohoo.

786
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:15,040
[Jeremy] <i>I'd now reached a point where
I reckoned I could go the rest of the way</i>

787
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,880
<i>under my own steam.</i>

788
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,840
It's not a practical,
everyday kind of solution, is it?

789
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,320
- It's not quick.
- No.

790
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,400
- And you need a couple of spare diggers.
- Yeah.

791
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:27,960
[Jeremy] Oh!

792
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,400
<i>OK, here I go.</i>

793
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,840
Ooh, God, struth.

794
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,680
I'm going sideways.

795
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,520
Straighten out!

796
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,160
OK. Speed and power!

797
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:58,120
I'm on a road! I'm on a road!

798
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,960
<i>Hammond and May, your turn now.</i>

799
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,040
It's really easy, not frightening at all.

800
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,880
[James] <i>Before we could join Jeremy,
though, we had to make sure</i>

801
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:14,280
<i>that our precious nine-tonne fuel tanker
got down safely.</i>

802
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,960
[Jeremy] If you had to lower a fuel
tanker down a cliff,

803
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:25,480
which two human beings
would you least like to be in charge?

804
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:31,280
Are we one million percent sure
this is going to be safe?

805
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,800
Not a million percent, to be honest.

806
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:37,120
This is heavier than the Jag,
though, even with him in it.

807
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:38,960
[suspenseful music]

808
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:40,640
[Richard] Right, send it down.

809
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,600
- [Richard] No, that's too much.
- [James] Too much. Back a bit.

810
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,080
- [James] Bollocks!
- [Richard] Oh, dear.

811
00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:07,040
[metallic creaking]

812
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,440
[James] That noise is horrible.

813
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,200
[Richard groans]

814
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:26,160
[James] <i>At the halfway point, the driver
asked us to release the cables</i>

815
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,760
<i>so he could do the rest of the drop
on his own.</i>

816
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:34,200
[Jeremy] OK, I know what it feels like
for that man in that fuel tanker.

817
00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:38,120
Bottom loosening.

818
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,280
I think we need a bit of serious
left-hand down

819
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:41,840
if he's going to avoid the problem
that Jeremy had,

820
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,000
'cause he mustn't go too far that way.

821
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,760
He needs to start going left
as soon as he can.

822
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,800
James, now that we've moved down
the hill a bit further

823
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,000
- for the first time.
- [James] Yeah?

824
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,160
Have you seen
what I've seen over there?

825
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,840
[intriguing music]

826
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,520
[Jeremy] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

827
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:11,480
Oh, my God.

828
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,480
Oh, no.

829
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,720
[Jeremy] <i>Gentlemen,
the fuel bowser is down.</i>

830
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,760
It's stuck, but it's down.

831
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:39,360
<i>Guys, good news.</i>

832
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,840
He's made it just about to the bottom.
It's not going to blow up, which is good.

833
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,720
And the front bumper has come off,

834
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,760
which I think's going to work quite well
as something in the trailer.

835
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,400
[Richard] That's amazing.
It's really, really...

836
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:54,920
That was proper impressive.

837
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:56,760
Something else.

838
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:00,040
But, I mean, it's just...
And it's no explosion, nothing.

839
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:03,920
- How did you get down?
- Oh, we came on the road.

840
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:05,960
[Jeremy] Are you telling me...

841
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,360
[Richard] I'm not going to lie.
It was quite a surprise.

842
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:08,320
It's behind the building site.

843
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,440
That's why they've got those diggers
and things over there.

844
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,720
- They've been building a road.
- They've just got to the top.

845
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,240
- It's a nice road.
- It's lovely.

846
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,320
We're all here.
Everybody's happy.

847
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,640
I'm not happy. I came down there.
I came down that, in that.

848
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,600
[Richard] Yes, well.

849
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,600
That was pretty easy. It's a new road.

850
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,160
[Richard] It's lovely. Fresh tarmac,
a little sand on the very edges.

851
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,240
[exotic music]

852
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:35,120
[Jeremy] <i>With the sun setting
and tarmac beneath our wheels,</i>

853
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:40,280
<i>we decided to knock off as many miles
as possible before dark.</i>

854
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:52,560
[James] I'll admit that in the day,
it is a bit toasty warm, but now...

855
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,520
It's just gone seven o'clock.

856
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:57,160
The sun has just gone down
behind the hill there.

857
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:02,640
This is absolutely delightful.
A mere 38 degrees.

858
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,760
[Jeremy] <i>As night fell,
we pulled off the road to make camp,</i>

859
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:14,200
<i>with James and I assuming
Mr Wilman had put some luxury tents</i>

860
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,320
<i>in the backup van.</i>

861
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:22,600
[Jeremy] I'm trying to remember
if I've ever been as irritated as this.

862
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,240
[he sighs]

863
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:25,440
[James] It's pretty poor.

864
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:28,560
This is... Even a boy scout
would say no to that.

865
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:30,440
Where's he got them from?

866
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:34,280
Did he go to Glastonbury the day after
it finished and just helped himself?

867
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,040
But I can't... I mean, I'm 63 years old.

868
00:48:37,240 --> 00:48:39,920
I can barely touch my knees,
leave alone my toes.

869
00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:43,600
How does he think I'm going
to get dressed in that in the morning?

870
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,880
And do you know what's doubly irritating?

871
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:47,920
No, but go on.

872
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,240
- Hammond's tent is better.
- [James] It's much better.

873
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,880
[Jeremy] I'm never going to be able
to get to sleep

874
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,400
knowing that Hammond is having
a better time 20 feet away.

875
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,920
I do not need a tent like that.

876
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:02,240
It's translucent
apart from anything else.

877
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,160
Did he go into a shop and say,
"What is the cheapest tent?"

878
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,120
[James] "What is the cheapest tent?"

879
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,680
You know supermarkets are claiming
to recycle their carrier bags...?

880
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,880
[intriguing music]

881
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:24,360
[Jeremy] <i>After a wretched night,</i>

882
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:29,360
<i>we headed south-west once more
into the vast heat of Africa.</i>

883
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:32,640
<i>But on the plus side,</i>

884
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,800
<i>this leg of the journey started out</i>

885
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:38,640
<i>as a slice of petrolhead heaven.</i>

886
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,160
<i>First, there was a gravel rally stage.</i>

887
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:53,520
<i>And then, there was what felt like
an alpine pass.</i>

888
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:54,840
Whoa, tarmac!

889
00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:02,920
Jesus! What a road!

890
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:10,400
[Jeremy] <i>And then...</i>

891
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:17,600
<i>We hit a surface that
all of us absolutely hate.</i>

892
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:19,640
Oh God, it's washboard.

893
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:23,600
Oh, bad bit.

894
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,240
[voice trembling]
Ahahahahahahaha.

895
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,160
Let it end.

896
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,200
Now, please, I beg of you.

897
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,840
[James] You might not believe
this is bad, viewers, but look.

898
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:42,560
One of my air vents has been shaken free
of the car.

899
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:47,360
[Richard] <i>From where we were sitting,
that was the least of his problems.</i>

900
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:51,560
[Richard] James, your Maserati
looks very wobbly.

901
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,040
Like fall apart clown car wobbly.

902
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,520
The wings are moving, everything.

903
00:50:57,720 --> 00:50:59,200
Oh my God, I see what you mean.

904
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,720
[Jeremy] The whole body is vibrating.

905
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,520
[James] It's absolutely shocking in here.

906
00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:08,920
Do you think Mr Wilman thought to put
some spare pelvises in the backup van?

907
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,360
[voice trembling]
Oh God.

908
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:20,040
[James] We have done 42 kilometres
of this.

909
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,040
[Richard] I'm sick of this [beep]
washboard [beep] road.

910
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,960
[Richard] <i>Mercifully,
a town with smooth roads</i>

911
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:32,160
<i>soon hoved into view.</i>

912
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,400
[Jeremy] This town, Chinguetti,

913
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,360
a thousand years ago, and I do mean
a thousand years ago,

914
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:50,560
was a staging post
between Timbuktu and the coast,

915
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:55,440
and they stored all their literature
here.

916
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,640
Every building was a library.
All of learning was in this town.

917
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:04,960
[Jeremy] <i>Today, the town is split in two
by a Wadi full of soft sand.</i>

918
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:10,560
<i>And crossing it plainly required
a vast amount of speed and power</i>.

919
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:13,880
[engine revving]

920
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:18,840
Holy Jesus!

921
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,120
Jeremy's here.

922
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,000
[Richard] It's quite
a nice little square, this, isn't it?

923
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,320
My car's looking a little bit--
It looks quite rugged now.

924
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:35,560
And what's all this?

925
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,120
Ah! I don't know.

926
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,480
[Jeremy] Oh geeeee.

927
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,280
Geee, that's not good.

928
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:48,720
[Richard] That's supposed to be inside
somewhere.

929
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:51,640
Is it oil or water? Or oily water?

930
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:53,400
- Sandy, oily water?
- [Richard] It's neither.

931
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,200
- It's power steering fluid.
- What?

932
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,360
The power steering fluid
is getting incredibly hot

933
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:00,360
because of all the work it's doing,
and the heat.

934
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:01,840
[Jeremy] Have you seen?

935
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:03,480
I can see the bonnet's up, should I...

936
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:06,160
Oh, it's just a minor...
it's just the temperature,

937
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:09,840
- bit too much heat here and there.
- [James] It's been crying.

938
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,560
Yeah, it has had a little weep.

939
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,720
Um, it's a known thing

940
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:18,000
- that they do it in the desert, DB9s.
- [Jeremy laughs]

941
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,680
- Listen. I wanna look round this town.
- Yes.

942
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:22,600
I've got something I want to look at
in this town.

943
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,560
- What? No, no, what?
- It's a library.

944
00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:28,520
There's lots of libraries. Look,
<i>"Bibliothèque"</i>, that means library.

945
00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:29,520
There's three of them, I think.

946
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,840
There used to be what, 700?
All of knowledge,

947
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:36,200
I'm right, aren't I, pretty much,
was stored here.

948
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,160
All of Arab knowledge, yes.

949
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:39,320
[Jeremy] Right,
we'll see you in a minute.

950
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,560
[lively music]

951
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,600
[Jeremy] <i>The reason why I wanted to look
around this historical site</i>

952
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,440
<i>is because soon, it won't be here.</i>

953
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:58,360
The desert is... eating the town.

954
00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:01,080
- [Richard] What?
- [Jeremy] It's eating it.

955
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,080
[Jeremy] Bloody hell. Look at this.

956
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,800
He's not gonna be mowing
his lawn anymore, is he?

957
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,440
[Richard] So it's feet deep, metres deep.

958
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:16,240
- Why is the desert eating the town?
- Look at that!

959
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,040
[Jeremy] Well now, there's a thing
called global warming.

960
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:20,440
[Richard] Heard of that.

961
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:24,400
And because of it, the Sahara Desert
is moving south

962
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:28,000
at the rate of four metres a year.

963
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,040
So this is what,
wind moving the sand?

964
00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,400
Yes, it's just-- Well, the vegetation
is dying and becoming desert.

965
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,120
- Hundred years, all that's desert.
- [Richard] Gone.

966
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,640
That's probably the top of a house.

967
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,840
[Jeremy] Bloody-- I'm staggered by this.

968
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,520
- [Jeremy] Tell you what though, Hammond?
- What?

969
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,080
It has given me an idea.

970
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:54,160
[Richard] What?

971
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:58,800
[Jeremy chuckles]
You're gonna like this.

972
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,920
[James] <i>Meanwhile,
in one of the libraries,</i>

973
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:06,400
<i>I was being shown
some incredible ancient texts.</i>

974
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:12,160
There's actual gold
used in this bit, this is gold.

975
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,280
- [man speaks Arabic]
- [James] Yeah.

976
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:15,960
[James] It's gilded.

977
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,080
- [man speaking Arabic]
- Yeah, this one.

978
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:20,240
[James] It is stunning, this one.

979
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,000
[man] Said that an American tourist

980
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,240
visited the guy in the library,

981
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:27,040
and he asked him to sell him the book.

982
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,840
Then he told him if he would sell it,

983
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,840
he's gonna give him a house in Florida,
and he said no.

984
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,480
It's the legacy
of his great-grandparents.

985
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,240
I think you did the right thing.

986
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:40,480
You don't want a house in Florida.

987
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:43,080
It's all hot and sticky
and full of people with guns.

988
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,200
[James] Can I touch a 500-year-old
astronomy book?

989
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:54,400
This is the relative motions
of the Moon and...

990
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:56,320
the Earth and the Sun.

991
00:55:57,120 --> 00:56:01,520
So that's pre-Copernicus, presumably,
so it's about the same time,

992
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:04,000
and in the Arab world I don't think
they had yet recognised

993
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,640
that the Sun should be considered
in the middle.

994
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,680
Bear in mind as well that
what we're talking about here,

995
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,640
the 11th century, is our understanding
of the 11th century...

996
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,680
[Jeremy] <i>Having sent the librarians
into a deep sleep,</i>

997
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:19,320
<i>James finally emerged into the sunlight.</i>

998
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:22,400
[Richard] Hey, how are you doing?
Was it good?

999
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:23,840
[James] Yeah, it was bloody fantastic.

1000
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:27,720
Lots of books but this ancient one with
diagrams in about lives of the prophets,

1001
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,400
and every one was an illustration,
like a picture.

1002
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,800
His mood is about to change.

1003
00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:34,000
What have you done?
What have you done?

1004
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:35,680
Well we've been hanging around.
We've walked about,

1005
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:36,920
looked at the town, haven't we?

1006
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:39,280
- You've noticed.
- Oh that?

1007
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,240
- [Richard] Ah. That wasn't us.
- [Jeremy] No.

1008
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:43,760
- [Richard] It's...
- [Jeremy] We got back

1009
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:45,680
from looking round
this other bit of the town...

1010
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:47,320
- Yes.
- ...and found this.

1011
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,600
[Richard] You've heard of dust devils,
those little like spinning winds?

1012
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,320
- Yes.
- Where you parked, at this intersection.

1013
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,120
I think it maybe amplified
the effect of the wind

1014
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,760
and just picked it up
and deposited it there.

1015
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:01,960
And you saw this happen?

1016
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,200
No, we didn't, cos we were looking
round the other town.

1017
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,640
The only other thing we can think of,

1018
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:10,280
we've wracked our brains,
is that they don't have tickets here,

1019
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,280
if you park in the middle of the road.

1020
00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:15,240
The traffic wardens simply fill
your car with sand.

1021
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,120
That's a-- that's very good.

1022
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:21,120
[James] But what if my car doesn't work?
And how the hell do I get it out?

1023
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,040
- Where's the key?
- [Richard] Ah.

1024
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:24,000
[Jeremy] Where did you leave it?

1025
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:25,520
On the centre console,
where I always leave it.

1026
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:27,160
If you just open the doors,
the sand'll fall out.

1027
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:28,120
Well, it's locked.

1028
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,400
You see, I never lock my car.

1029
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,840
Just in case this exact thing happens.

1030
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,320
OK, give me a shovel, I'll get it.
You...

1031
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,880
- [Jeremy laughs]
- [James] Oh, bugger off then.

1032
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,440
[Jeremy] <i>Having left James
to sort out his freak sandstorm issue,</i>

1033
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,320
<i>we headed for the backup van,</i>

1034
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,280
<i>because we'd decided to solve
the problems</i>

1035
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:52,200
<i>caused by the horrendous
washboard roads.</i>

1036
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,000
Oh God, it's a, it's a...

1037
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:03,720
Oh, burning, ah!

1038
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,120
Ah! Thank you.

1039
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,480
If you wanna do any welding.

1040
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:13,640
Or chainsawing.

1041
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:14,760
Or role play.

1042
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,320
[Jeremy] Now hang on a minute.
I could do something with these.

1043
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:21,760
Yes, I can.

1044
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:24,400
[intriguing music]

1045
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:27,880
[Jeremy] <i>While James toiled away emptying
his car...</i>

1046
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,880
Oh, stupid.

1047
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,800
[Jeremy] <i>...we got busy
with what we'd found in the van,</i>

1048
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:40,200
<i>and soon our washboard
solution modifications were ready.</i>

1049
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:43,960
- So I found this in the truck.
- Yes.

1050
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:45,680
- It's a cultivator.
- It is.

1051
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,520
[Jeremy] It might work,

1052
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:52,880
but normally cultivators are towed
behind the tractor.

1053
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:56,800
Yes, but I'd have to drive over the rough
road before cultivating it level.

1054
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:57,840
That wouldn't work.

1055
00:58:58,040 --> 00:58:59,720
No, it would be more sociable.

1056
00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:00,800
I'm not.

1057
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:02,600
- You're not what, sociable?
- Sociable.

1058
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,720
[Richard] I want this for me to work
and make my life better.

1059
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:07,400
[Jeremy] But I think you'll find
my solution

1060
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:11,520
surpasses this
by a factor of several million.

1061
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,560
I've literally no idea

1062
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:17,600
why Mr Wilman put two snowmobiles
in the van,

1063
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:21,400
knowing we're going to the Sahara Desert,
but I'm glad he did.

1064
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:23,840
Let me explain. OK.

1065
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:28,120
Instead of using the skis,
I've fitted wheels at the front,

1066
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:29,680
but we're not really interested in this.

1067
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:32,680
What we are interested in is the tracks.

1068
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,440
They're gonna be whizzing along
in front of my wheels,

1069
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,120
smoothing out the ridges

1070
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,160
in the washboard.

1071
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:45,760
So when I arrive, incredibly smooth,
it'll be like a billiard table.

1072
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:49,480
[Richard] They're gonna be going eeeee,
like two massive belt sanders?

1073
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:52,120
[Jeremy] Yes. Exactly right,
they're belt sanders,

1074
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,360
mounted to the front of a Jaguar F-Type.

1075
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:57,080
- Yeah.
- Off road Jag.

1076
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,160
An F-Off roader type.

1077
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:03,080
[Richard] It's incredible, isn't it?
Rather than be locked up in a drab cell,

1078
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:05,120
in a jacket that does up at the back,

1079
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:09,560
you've had so many opportunities
to make your insanity real.

1080
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:10,840
There it is!

1081
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:14,640
[Jeremy] <i>With the technical briefings
over,</i>

1082
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,400
<i>it was time to put theory into practice.</i>

1083
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Raising rig.

1084
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,200
[engine revving]

1085
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:26,000
[Jeremy] Richard Hammond. To the future.

1086
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:27,640
[solemn music]

1087
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:39,880
[Jeremy] I'm guessing that
most of the people in this town

1088
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:42,000
have not yet seen a snowmobile.

1089
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:46,200
They're going to be quite surprised
to hear what its primary purpose is.

1090
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:49,800
[Richard] Obviously, I have it
in a raised position right now.

1091
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:51,440
I can hydraulically lower it.

1092
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,080
It's just like James Bond's Lotus.

1093
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,200
In normal car mode,
it's just a normal car.

1094
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:04,640
[Richard] <i>Once we came to a washboard
section of road outside the town,</i>

1095
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,880
<i>we prepared for our maiden trial.</i>

1096
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,960
[engine starting]

1097
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:15,600
Snowmobiles are running.

1098
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,720
Right, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

1099
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:23,880
Here we go. Lowering.

1100
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,880
[suspenseful music]

1101
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:32,320
[Jeremy] And here we go.

1102
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:38,560
[Richard] By Jove, I think it's working.

1103
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,640
I mean I...

1104
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,040
Yeah.

1105
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:46,000
I am sculpting the roads.
I'm smoothing them.

1106
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:49,480
[Jeremy] Ha ha ha ha!

1107
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:51,880
[Jeremy] I am grading the road.

1108
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:53,680
[Richard] God!

1109
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:56,800
[Jeremy] Cannot believe
that this is happening.

1110
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:05,600
[epic music]

1111
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,160
[Jeremy] Oh yeah.

1112
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,560
And I'll just sit here now and relax.

1113
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:21,480
And it's not just me that's benefitting.
Remember that.

1114
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,120
The whole of Africa is benefitting.

1115
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,640
Oh, stones are coming.
See, it's kicking up some stones.

1116
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:32,320
Oh yeah, that can happen.

1117
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:34,080
Yeah.

1118
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,880
Oh yeah, that's some big stones.

1119
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:41,760
[Richard] <i>But despite
this teething problem,</i>

1120
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:45,920
<i>when we pulled over a few miles later
to inspect our work,</i>

1121
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:50,120
<i>the results were unquestionable.</i>

1122
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:54,480
You look on the left-hand side of the
road, which is what we have graded,

1123
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:55,960
that side,

1124
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:59,960
and then look at the right-hand side
of the road, which we haven't graded,

1125
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,840
- I mean it... proof.
- It works, it works.

1126
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:08,280
- You could run an F1 race on that.
- [Jeremy] Oh, easy.

1127
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:11,560
[Jeremy] <i>We then decided to be
fully public spirited,</i>

1128
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:16,520
<i>and drive side by side,
so we could smooth out all of the road.</i>

1129
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:20,600
[Jeremy] <i>OK, Hammond, let's go.</i>

1130
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:23,880
[Richard] We could do dual carriageways.

1131
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:26,480
I reckon I can go a bit deeper here.

1132
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,520
Just gotta... I'm learning
to finesse the system now.

1133
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,240
[Jeremy] Shit!

1134
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,240
[Richard laughs]

1135
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:41,760
[Jeremy] Oh shit!

1136
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:44,760
Oh, my God!

1137
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:52,160
I've never seen anything like it.

1138
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:56,520
I just saw a puff of smoke
and it leapt that thing and...

1139
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:00,440
At least there are no witnesses.
Apart from the people in this lorry.

1140
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:03,920
Ooh.

1141
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:07,320
- I'm just gonna quietly move along.
- [Richard] Yeah.

1142
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:09,760
Right.

1143
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:13,200
[Richard] <i>If I drive alongside, people
won't spot that there's one missing.</i>

1144
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:16,520
[Jeremy] <i>Yeah, good thinking Hammond.</i>

1145
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:20,120
Well, that was unique.
I'm pretty confident...

1146
01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:21,280
Oh.

1147
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:24,280
Oh, I think it just broke.

1148
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:31,720
[Richard] <i>After this second incident,
we decided to abandon all road mending</i>

1149
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,200
<i>for the foreseeable future.</i>

1150
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:41,360
[Jeremy] <i>Initially, our experiment
was brilliant, and then everything went</i>

1151
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,400
terribly, badly wrong...

1152
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,040
<i>very quickly indeed.</i>

1153
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:46,920
Had you prepared speeches? I had.

1154
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:50,080
I didn't know whether I'd get a CBE
or an OBE.

1155
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:53,400
I was gonna get a statue
and do a TED talk.

1156
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:55,880
[Jeremy] <i>I'm probably not gonna get
either now,</i>

1157
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:59,160
<i>particularly if my snowmobile
crashes into a remote village.</i>

1158
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:03,400
[Richard] <i>Assuming May
would eventually catch up,</i>

1159
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:05,640
<i>we decided to press on.</i>

1160
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:11,240
<i>But, as darkness fell,
my Aston began to play up.</i>

1161
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:12,760
<i>Again.</i>

1162
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:15,840
[Richard] <i>Er, I'm just overheating again.</i>

1163
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:18,280
<i>I've been told to stop immediately
by the car.</i>

1164
01:05:18,760 --> 01:05:22,320
I can't seem to get past third gear,
so it's running at too high RPM.

1165
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:27,840
[Jeremy] <i>OK, Hammond. Um, there's
literally nothing I can do about that.</i>

1166
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:32,440
No, that was a sigh,
but you're right.

1167
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:36,680
[Richard] <i>As my colleague's taillights
dissolved into the night,</i>

1168
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:41,000
<i>I was left to trundle on... alone.</i>

1169
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:48,240
Er, it's late and I can't go
much more than 20 miles an hour.

1170
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:52,560
The gearbox is failing.
It won't shift up. I'm stuck in second.

1171
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:56,320
And if I run it any higher than
one and a half thousand RPM,

1172
01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:57,560
the engine overheats.

1173
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:02,920
Also I'm getting warnings telling me
check battery off switch,

1174
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:07,080
brake failure, stop safely
and my dashboard lights have gone out.

1175
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:08,680
Oh, they've come back!

1176
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:10,840
SRS airbag service urgent.

1177
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:14,960
Rollover protect fault.
DSC service required.

1178
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:18,040
Come on.

1179
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:20,760
Gonna get you to camp.

1180
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:22,760
Bit of work.

1181
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:40,720
[Jeremy] <i>The next morning,
James and I were reunited.</i>

1182
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:43,120
[Jeremy] Oh God.

1183
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:44,760
Oh.

1184
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:51,280
[Jeremy groaning]

1185
01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:53,360
Oh I'm empty.

1186
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:58,200
- [Jeremy] Morning, May.
- Morning.

1187
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,600
[Jeremy] Have you seen what's missing
from this picture?

1188
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:05,040
[James] Yes.

1189
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:07,840
[intriguing music]

1190
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,840
I am behind the other two.
They're some miles ahead.

1191
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,280
I will find them,

1192
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:18,440
but I can't go on any further,
until I've sorted this car.

1193
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:20,680
So I kipped here last night,
cos I can,

1194
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,800
cos I've got an Aston Martin hotel.

1195
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:24,760
But the Aston Martin bit
isn't working very well.

1196
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:28,840
I did the launch of this car.
I remember when they came out.

1197
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,720
It's from the exact point when cars
started getting cleverer.

1198
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,120
But not clever enough.

1199
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:37,920
Normally everything electric on a car
was controlled by a separate wire,

1200
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:40,320
which is OK when all you had was a horn.

1201
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:43,280
But by this time, everything was worked
with electronics,

1202
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:47,160
so they combined them all
into one gigantic, very clever wire

1203
01:07:47,320 --> 01:07:49,880
that went all the way round the car and
stopped off at all the different things.

1204
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:53,240
And the car can feel everything,
its brakes, its suspension,

1205
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:55,600
which is great, until it can't feel them.

1206
01:07:56,320 --> 01:08:00,320
So if it can't feel its gearbox,
it stops using its gearbox.

1207
01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:03,360
Somewhere in there is one little thing
that's just shorting across,

1208
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:06,840
and it's sending the whole of
its central nervous system into meltdown.

1209
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:10,040
And it could be anywhere in there.

1210
01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:15,000
What's made it worse, is the desert.
It's hot. Full of stones and sand.

1211
01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:16,360
It's hot, so it needs cooling.

1212
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:18,880
Here is a little radiator at the front,
tiny little cooler.

1213
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:22,360
That cools oil for the gearbox,
which is right at the back.

1214
01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:25,440
One of the stones has gone through
the radiator, and made a hole.

1215
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:29,040
That's allowed the oil to leak out and
spread over the front of the radiator,

1216
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:32,920
mingle with the sand and build
a brick wall in front of itself.

1217
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:34,960
So the gearbox is overheating.

1218
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:38,760
That I could probably do something about,
but as for the electronics,

1219
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:40,320
I'm just gonna have to look

1220
01:08:40,440 --> 01:08:44,160
until I can physically find a problem
to mend.

1221
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:46,560
[exotic music]

1222
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:50,560
[Richard] <i>After an hour of fettling,
I got back on the road,</i>

1223
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:54,760
<i>but the Aston was by no means mended.</i>

1224
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:58,920
I'm moving, which is good.
But I've only got one gear

1225
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:01,840
and I've no idea what's happening
to the engine or anything else

1226
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:03,240
cos none of my gauges are working.

1227
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:04,640
Temperature, nothing.

1228
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,800
That's why it's not letting me
change gear.

1229
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:10,600
It's not giving me any information
because it's not getting any information.

1230
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,200
Oh, hello. The fuel bowser.

1231
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,640
Well, I've no idea if I've got any fuel,
but I'll get some anyway.

1232
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:17,840
My gauge doesn't work.

1233
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:20,080
- [James] Oh, look.
- Here he is.

1234
01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:26,160
- It's working!
- [Richard] Yes. More or less.

1235
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:30,560
I'm just gonna give it a rest.

1236
01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:32,240
- [Jeremy] How many gears have you got?
- One.

1237
01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:33,920
- [Jeremy] Which one?
- [Richard] I don't know.

1238
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,320
Absolute catastrophe.

1239
01:09:36,440 --> 01:09:37,920
Right, fuel.

1240
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:40,640
- I've no idea if I need it.
- [Jeremy] I didn't have...

1241
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:42,120
- You've no dials.
- I've got nothing!

1242
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:43,120
[creaking]

1243
01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:44,880
It does that as well.
I don't know what that is.

1244
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,200
[creaking]

1245
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:49,880
You never heard Bond's Aston sounding
like that, did you?

1246
01:09:50,040 --> 01:09:52,280
- [Richard] Sounds brilliant.
- How fast were you going, Bond?

1247
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:56,320
"I don't know. Speedo were broken.
I only had one gear."

1248
01:09:58,120 --> 01:09:59,520
- Do you know what?
- [Jeremy] What?

1249
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:01,880
- We've been here three days.
- Yeah.

1250
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:05,400
- I must have drunk 60 litres of water.
- Easy.

1251
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:11,440
I haven't peed once and now I think
this has encouraged it.

1252
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:14,120
I can feel one coming.
I'm gonna go for a slash.

1253
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:16,120
- I haven't had a pee.
- No, don't need it!

1254
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:19,280
Well, the sun has boiled it all
out of us. But...

1255
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:24,920
But it's actually got-- No, genuinely,
I haven't had a pee since I got here.

1256
01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:25,920
[Richard] Go and have one.

1257
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,080
I'm gonna try, because it's been a while.

1258
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:30,360
I definitely still don't want one.

1259
01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,120
[Jeremy] <i>After a few minutes of assuming
the position,</i>

1260
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:37,880
<i>we finally had some sort of success.</i>

1261
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,600
[Jeremy] You know you get those charts
that tell you the colour of your pee.

1262
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:44,920
- It tells you how healthy you are.
- [Richard] Yeah.

1263
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:48,160
This colour's not on that chart.

1264
01:10:48,320 --> 01:10:52,360
This is just a thin stream of hot sand
falling through a milk straw.

1265
01:10:53,120 --> 01:10:55,280
[Jeremy] Mine's like a stair banister.

1266
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:57,720
I could actually pull it,
and it's made a toffee.

1267
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:01,200
[Richard] Might do that again
in another week.

1268
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,760
Ah! My seat is so hot.

1269
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:07,360
Ignition on. Dashboard off.

1270
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:10,040
[Richard] That is working.

1271
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:11,760
Do I have drive?

1272
01:11:11,920 --> 01:11:13,800
No, yes, I do.

1273
01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:21,640
- [Jeremy] What was that?
- [Richard] What the...? What?

1274
01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,600
[Jeremy] What the hell was that?

1275
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:29,000
[Richard] What? Why would it...?

1276
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:36,720
[Jeremy] Why did you tie it
to the fuel bowser?

1277
01:11:38,440 --> 01:11:40,680
You and I were...

1278
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:41,680
May.

1279
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:44,240
- [Jeremy] Did you do this?
- [James] What?

1280
01:11:45,160 --> 01:11:47,920
Well, somebody tied it
to the fuel bowser.

1281
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:51,760
What if the fuel bowser
had blown up?

1282
01:11:51,920 --> 01:11:53,360
[James] Oh, I know what that is.

1283
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,640
The freaky meteorological conditions
can tangle up

1284
01:11:56,800 --> 01:12:00,920
a stray bit of strop blowing around,
and tie it onto things.

1285
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:03,240
That's my home.

1286
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:05,520
I can't put it back on.

1287
01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:08,200
- Cos it's smashed.
- What a rotten bit of luck. Let's go.

1288
01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:11,600
That means we're going to have to look
at an Aston Martin DB9

1289
01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:14,800
driving through the desert and not...

1290
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:16,600
a Metrocab.

1291
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:19,560
- This is bullying in the workplace.
- I didn't do it! I was having a piss.

1292
01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:24,080
Well, it wasn't a piss. I was ejecting
some Rolos from my body.

1293
01:12:25,280 --> 01:12:27,680
That's a beautiful car
you've got there, Hammond.

1294
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:28,800
[Richard] Shut up.

1295
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:31,080
[lively music]

1296
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:39,040
[Jeremy] <i>Today our plan was to reach
the capital city of Nouakchott.</i>

1297
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:43,720
<i>And as we didn't think
that would take too long,</i>

1298
01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:47,320
<i>I suggested a cultural diversion.</i>

1299
01:12:48,440 --> 01:12:54,040
I was talking yesterday to um,
an old woman outside that library,

1300
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,680
and she said if we keep going down
this road,

1301
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:59,760
we get to this enormous eye
in the desert.

1302
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:02,160
What?

1303
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:04,320
Apparently,
it's called the Eye of Africa.

1304
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:09,080
<i>It's supposed to be
the most amazing thing on Earth.</i>

1305
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:11,840
- Is it?
- It's a weird geological event.

1306
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:14,280
But some people say
it's the Lost City of Atlantis.

1307
01:13:14,440 --> 01:13:17,840
<i>It was actually--
Nobody knew about it</i>

1308
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:21,200
until the Apollo astronauts
saw it from space.

1309
01:13:22,640 --> 01:13:23,840
Really?

1310
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:27,120
I know it sounds implausible,
but that's what she said.

1311
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:30,040
Did she also try and sell you
some magic beans?

1312
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:33,640
[Jeremy] <i>If we pick up the pace a bit,</i>

1313
01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:36,640
we'd have the time
to spend a little while looking for it.

1314
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:38,920
I can't pick up the pace.
I've got one gear.

1315
01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:42,320
Well, listen, May and I can form
an advance party

1316
01:13:42,440 --> 01:13:43,880
by picking up the pace, all right?

1317
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:45,360
And when we find it,
we'll give you a bell.

1318
01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:47,440
[engine revving]

1319
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:51,400
[Richard] <i>If you find a spare tent
as well, I'd be grateful.</i>

1320
01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:55,320
[lively music]

1321
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:03,320
Taking me to the Eye of Africa.
Here I come!

1322
01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:15,560
That super charger. Eat. Eat fuel!

1323
01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:21,600
What else is out there in the desert,
along with the gigantic eye?

1324
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:23,680
A massive nose.

1325
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:27,960
I know there's a pair of huge tits
out there.

1326
01:14:30,320 --> 01:14:33,560
[Jeremy] <i>Having made good progress
on the smooth tarmac,</i>

1327
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:38,960
<i>James and I were nearing
the location of the mysterious eye.</i>

1328
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:41,520
[engine revving]

1329
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:47,200
[Jeremy] <i>OK, James.
If the old woman is to be believed</i>

1330
01:14:48,080 --> 01:14:51,000
<i>the gigantic eye is along here.</i>

1331
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:54,240
[James] <i>There isn't an eye.</i>

1332
01:14:55,520 --> 01:14:57,960
[Jeremy] <i>Well, you won't be saying that
when you crest that hill,</i>

1333
01:14:58,120 --> 01:15:01,000
<i>and there's an enormous eye there.
You just watch.</i>

1334
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:08,120
[intriguing music]

1335
01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:10,320
[Richard] <i>A good few miles back,</i>

1336
01:15:10,520 --> 01:15:14,920
<i>my chances of joining the other two
were becoming slimmer.</i>

1337
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:19,120
Right, gauges have just come on briefly,
and it's bad news,

1338
01:15:19,280 --> 01:15:21,280
temperature really high.

1339
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:23,320
All I can do

1340
01:15:23,440 --> 01:15:28,320
is proceed at what pitch
tells me is 2,000 RPM in my one gear,

1341
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:32,240
and I could do with stopping
and putting my roof up.

1342
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:35,040
I'm gonna pull up
in this magnificent village square,

1343
01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:36,840
because I'm being cooked.

1344
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:38,400
I give in.

1345
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:42,200
They can drive with their roofs off.
I'm not brave enough.

1346
01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,120
Please don't be stuck.

1347
01:15:49,640 --> 01:15:50,800
Oh God!

1348
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:52,880
No, that's not acceptable.

1349
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:54,320
- Ooh!
- [cracking]

1350
01:15:54,440 --> 01:15:56,320
Christ, I've just ...

1351
01:15:57,920 --> 01:15:59,000
Um...

1352
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:09,800
That's the rollover that deploys
in a crash.

1353
01:16:11,880 --> 01:16:12,960
That's good.

1354
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:20,240
Well, it can't happen again, can it?
It's gone. It's just see... ah.

1355
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:46,720
Um, I just tried to start it,
and it's, it's...

1356
01:16:51,320 --> 01:16:55,000
Things just got a lot worse
really quickly!

1357
01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,560
[Jeremy] <i>Meanwhile, deep in the desert,</i>

1358
01:16:59,720 --> 01:17:02,840
<i>we still hadn't found
what we were looking for.</i>

1359
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,920
No eye, no eye, no eye.

1360
01:17:10,600 --> 01:17:13,440
Camels, camels' eyes, but no eyes.

1361
01:17:14,640 --> 01:17:18,320
[creaking]

1362
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:19,960
Christ, that is a terrible noise!

1363
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:23,880
Aghh.

1364
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:27,520
[James] <i>What is the point of this,
Clarkson? There is no giant eyeball.</i>

1365
01:17:27,720 --> 01:17:29,360
<i>We're just wrecking the cars.</i>

1366
01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:35,000
[Jeremy] <i>For a bit more persevering
we might just get over that crest there,</i>

1367
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:37,160
<i>and there it is.</i>

1368
01:17:47,280 --> 01:17:48,560
Bollocks!

1369
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:50,800
[engine revving]

1370
01:17:50,960 --> 01:17:52,280
[James] Cock!

1371
01:17:52,960 --> 01:17:54,720
I'm stuck, and it's your fault.

1372
01:17:56,520 --> 01:17:58,200
All this stuff about seeing
from outer space.

1373
01:17:58,320 --> 01:18:00,160
Think about the thing,
the Great Wall of China, famously

1374
01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:01,640
"you can see that
from out of space."

1375
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:04,240
You can also see it
when you're standing next to it.

1376
01:18:04,360 --> 01:18:07,720
[Jeremy] It is there. You just, you won't
let me go and have a look for it.

1377
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:11,400
[James] Or it might have been a fairytale
that Gypsy Rose told you,

1378
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:14,200
because you'd given her £1.50.

1379
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:16,360
[Jeremy] All right, all right, fine, well
I'll-- we'll give in.

1380
01:18:16,560 --> 01:18:18,520
I don't like giving in,
but I'm going to give in.

1381
01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:21,120
[James] Yeah, but you're giving in
looking for something like an eye

1382
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:22,600
in the middle of Africa.

1383
01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:25,840
- [Jeremy] Yes, it's a huge eye.
- [James] Huge, but how huge?

1384
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:29,280
[Jeremy] Well, it's, the way she
described it, like massive huge.

1385
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:32,200
- [James] Where's Hammond, by the way?
- [Jeremy] That is a good question.

1386
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,560
[Jeremy] I'm assuming he's not bothered
to coming to look at the eye

1387
01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:35,840
cos he just thinks...

1388
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:38,120
[dramatic music]

1389
01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:48,520
OK, I know this is probably
a pointless exercise, but let's...

1390
01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:53,240
No signal at all.

1391
01:18:54,160 --> 01:18:56,000
That is of no help.

1392
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:02,600
There's no huge amounts of fluid
that've come out,

1393
01:19:02,760 --> 01:19:06,280
but even if they had, that wouldn't
explain it just being dead at the key.

1394
01:19:06,400 --> 01:19:07,800
It's clearly electrics.

1395
01:19:08,400 --> 01:19:13,920
If its feeble 2005 brain has given up,
I've had it.

1396
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:17,760
The only other thing, battery.

1397
01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:24,280
That's not gone flat has it?
But it's behind this seat.

1398
01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:30,360
Oh dear Lord! Salvation!

1399
01:19:30,560 --> 01:19:33,200
No way. Hang on,
let me just check.

1400
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:36,680
[presses ignition]

1401
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,920
The live battery terminal
has shaken loose.

1402
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:46,720
Literally this has shaken itself undone.
It was like that.

1403
01:19:47,800 --> 01:19:49,280
[lively music]

1404
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:56,320
[Richard] <i>I got going,
and there was more good news,</i>

1405
01:19:56,520 --> 01:20:01,800
<i>because the gearbox had decided
to actually be a gearbox again.</i>

1406
01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:06,600
Aston Martin! Yeah ha ha ha!

1407
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:09,280
I've got gears, and everything.

1408
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:15,560
[Jeremy] <i>Meanwhile, on our way back
to the main road,</i>

1409
01:20:15,720 --> 01:20:20,400
<i>May and I had been rather distracted
by something we had found.</i>

1410
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:22,800
<i>This.</i>

1411
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,040
[exotic music]

1412
01:20:34,320 --> 01:20:37,960
- [Jeremy] Bloody Nora, look at this!
- [James] Hey, look!

1413
01:20:51,720 --> 01:20:53,680
[Jeremy] Jesus wept!

1414
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:58,560
- Ho ho ho ho.
- [James] Is that an oasis?

1415
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:04,120
[Jeremy] Literally no evidence
that I'm English.

1416
01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:06,200
[Jeremy] Wait.

1417
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:09,320
Come and have a seat. I've got just
the thing we should be listening to.

1418
01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:15,120
I can't find anything to commemorate
the demise of Richard Hammond.

1419
01:21:16,320 --> 01:21:19,200
You know Gordon Lightfoot
also died today. So...

1420
01:21:19,320 --> 01:21:20,560
- Did he?
- [Jeremy] Yeah.

1421
01:21:21,760 --> 01:21:25,320
[plays <i>"</i> If You Could Read My Mind",
by Gordon Lightfoot]

1422
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:33,280
<i>♪ If you could read my mind, love ♪</i>

1423
01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:36,680
<i>♪ What a tale my thoughts could tell ♪</i>

1424
01:21:37,440 --> 01:21:41,040
<i>♪ Just like an old time movie ♪</i>

1425
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:44,880
<i>♪ 'Bout a ghost from a wishing well ♪</i>

1426
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:50,040
<i>♪ In a castle dark or a fortress strong ♪</i>

1427
01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:53,520
<i>♪ With chains upon my feet ♪</i>

1428
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:57,280
<i>♪ You know that ghost is me ♪</i>

1429
01:21:58,200 --> 01:22:01,560
<i>♪ And I will never be set free ♪</i>

1430
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:06,920
<i>♪ As long as I'm a ghost, you can't see ♪</i>

1431
01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:11,720
[Jeremy] Just to give you an idea
of how empty Mauritania is,

1432
01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:15,080
I've now done a hundred miles on this,

1433
01:22:15,280 --> 01:22:17,680
the main road from one side
of the country to the other,

1434
01:22:17,880 --> 01:22:21,920
and I haven't seen another car, not one, nothing.

1435
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:24,200
It's just...

1436
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:26,760
it hurts your head,

1437
01:22:26,960 --> 01:22:30,200
the bigness of this place,
and the emptiness.

1438
01:22:34,520 --> 01:22:37,520
[James] <i>I do believe
it's a disfigured Aston Martin.</i>

1439
01:22:37,720 --> 01:22:39,160
<i>Yes, it is.</i>

1440
01:22:40,160 --> 01:22:41,760
[Richard] <i>My colleagues caught up with me</i>

1441
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:46,880
<i>just as my haunted car
started to play up... again.</i>

1442
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,440
I've lost gearbox.

1443
01:22:51,320 --> 01:22:53,800
- [car beeping]
- Oh, now it's beeping!

1444
01:23:00,040 --> 01:23:01,800
Why have my windows opened?

1445
01:23:02,520 --> 01:23:06,360
Why have my... who... I didn't ask them.
Why have my windows opened?

1446
01:23:06,600 --> 01:23:09,000
[Richard] <i>It's actively disobeying
and tormenting me now.</i>

1447
01:23:09,200 --> 01:23:10,400
<i>It's, uh, decided to open the windows,</i>

1448
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:12,720
and take away the ability to change gear,

1449
01:23:12,920 --> 01:23:15,000
accompanied by a maddening beep.

1450
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:17,120
[he laughs]

1451
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:21,880
[Richard] I <i>thought the beeping
might be happening</i>

1452
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:26,440
<i>because the car didn't believe
my roof was secured properly.</i>

1453
01:23:26,640 --> 01:23:29,760
<i>So, I pulled over to test my theory.</i>

1454
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,720
[beeping]

1455
01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:35,560
Bastard!

1456
01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:38,000
[he laughs]

1457
01:23:38,640 --> 01:23:41,560
It's still beeping!
[he screams]

1458
01:23:41,920 --> 01:23:44,560
It's got a very convenient roof, you just
press the button, and it goes down,

1459
01:23:44,720 --> 01:23:47,320
and then you have to get out
and jump on it.

1460
01:23:49,320 --> 01:23:53,120
They do say that people are driven mad
in the desert after a while.

1461
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:55,280
[beeping]

1462
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:57,080
[James] What about in the middle?
The bit in the middle.

1463
01:23:57,280 --> 01:23:58,840
[he laughs]

1464
01:23:59,040 --> 01:24:00,920
[beeping]

1465
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,200
[James] Such a yobbo.

1466
01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:07,160
Just stop beeping! It's all right!

1467
01:24:07,320 --> 01:24:09,680
[intriguing music]

1468
01:24:10,280 --> 01:24:12,280
[beeping continues]

1469
01:24:14,320 --> 01:24:17,160
[James] <i>Did you say you thought
you might be in second gear?</i>

1470
01:24:18,960 --> 01:24:22,120
Well, it won't tell me what gear
I'm in, but I think it's second, yes.

1471
01:24:23,160 --> 01:24:26,080
<i>But if I go any faster,
it overheats very quickly.</i>

1472
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:29,920
James, once again we face a dilemma,
don't we?

1473
01:24:30,400 --> 01:24:34,560
We drive all the way to the coast
at 38 miles an hour,

1474
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:37,080
<i>or... we don't.</i>

1475
01:24:37,400 --> 01:24:39,840
Let me think about that one for a bit.

1476
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:42,200
[engine revving]

1477
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:46,880
I've come to the same conclusion.

1478
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:52,800
- [beeping]
- Absolute bastards.

1479
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:54,760
[lively music]

1480
01:24:56,760 --> 01:25:00,520
[Jeremy] <i>There were still 200 miles to go
to the capital.</i>

1481
01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:04,320
<i>So James and I pulled over</i>

1482
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:08,160
<i>in a small town
to rendezvous with the fuel bowser.</i>

1483
01:25:11,160 --> 01:25:13,440
<i>And we got an unexpected bonus.</i>

1484
01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:21,080
This is a runway.

1485
01:25:21,760 --> 01:25:22,760
[James] Yes.

1486
01:25:23,680 --> 01:25:25,240
[Jeremy] I'm just thinking maybe...

1487
01:25:26,640 --> 01:25:28,280
while we're waiting for Hammond,

1488
01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:31,360
we could do some car stuff
in our car programme.

1489
01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:34,400
- What do you have in mind?
- Well, I'm thinking of a drag race.

1490
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:35,600
[James] Oh, what a good idea.

1491
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:37,560
[Jeremy] It'd be quite interesting,
if you think about it.

1492
01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:39,560
And I have wanted to know
actually since we set off.

1493
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:42,600
You've got a lot more power than I have,
haven't you? You've got...

1494
01:25:42,760 --> 01:25:46,000
I've got more power.
I've got 434, but I've got more weight.

1495
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:51,320
You're 434 horsepower. I'm 375.
How much does this weigh?

1496
01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:54,440
- 2 tons.
- Cos I'm 1.6.

1497
01:25:54,680 --> 01:25:55,440
- It'd be quite...
- Interesting...

1498
01:25:55,640 --> 01:25:57,520
It'd be an interesting experiment,
for the ladies and gentlemen.

1499
01:25:58,040 --> 01:25:59,000
Yes.

1500
01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:03,600
[Jeremy] <i>And so, with that decided,
we headed to the end of the runway,</i>

1501
01:26:04,000 --> 01:26:07,320
<i>erected some drag race paraphernalia,</i>

1502
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:09,240
<i>and prepared for the off.</i>

1503
01:26:09,680 --> 01:26:11,600
Right, what do I need? Sport mode,

1504
01:26:12,200 --> 01:26:14,800
yes! Traction control, I think off.

1505
01:26:15,600 --> 01:26:19,800
I'm in manual, but due to the unique way
I've modified this car,

1506
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:22,840
I'm unable to change
any of the programs.

1507
01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:25,520
Well, due to the unique way
you filled my car with sand,

1508
01:26:25,680 --> 01:26:28,360
I have some trouble with the buttons,
but I've got it now.

1509
01:26:28,560 --> 01:26:30,280
Wait a minute. Look who's here.

1510
01:26:31,920 --> 01:26:34,680
[Jeremy] <i>Terminator 3:
Rise of the Machines</i>.

1511
01:26:34,880 --> 01:26:37,400
- [Jeremy] Just in time.
- [Richard] What?

1512
01:26:37,640 --> 01:26:39,200
- [Jeremy] Just in time.
- What for?

1513
01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:40,520
Drag race.

1514
01:26:41,080 --> 01:26:43,040
I'm not really in a position
to do a drag race.

1515
01:26:43,360 --> 01:26:45,320
- [James] Turn it off.
- [Richard] Ah, no, no, no.

1516
01:26:45,560 --> 01:26:47,200
That would be a poor move.

1517
01:26:47,320 --> 01:26:50,880
- [Jeremy] Why can't you turn it off?
- It probably will never start again.

1518
01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:53,960
You know we were on the verge
of starting a very tense drag race?

1519
01:26:54,120 --> 01:26:56,160
Have you seen <i>Terminator 3?</i>

1520
01:26:56,320 --> 01:26:58,400
People have wondered for many years

1521
01:26:58,640 --> 01:27:01,720
when would Skynet
become fully self-aware.

1522
01:27:03,240 --> 01:27:07,120
In an Aston Martin being driven by you
in Mauritania, no one saw that coming.

1523
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:11,280
What if this idiot learns to communicate
with other machines.

1524
01:27:11,440 --> 01:27:14,680
- It is moronic, isn't it?
- It's a moron!

1525
01:27:15,520 --> 01:27:16,640
Uh, Hammond, Hammond.

1526
01:27:16,840 --> 01:27:18,400
- What?
- What's that?

1527
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:24,280
What the bloody hell is that doing here?

1528
01:27:24,880 --> 01:27:26,720
- [James] Is that one of yours?
- [Richard] Well...

1529
01:27:26,880 --> 01:27:28,920
- What do you mean, one of mine?
- What else is it going to be?

1530
01:27:31,040 --> 01:27:34,480
- How long has it been going?
- Since he let it loose.

1531
01:27:34,640 --> 01:27:38,560
- That was 150 miles away. Oh Jesus!
- You released it into the desert.

1532
01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:41,160
- [Richard] Oh, you don't...
- [James] What that, it's...

1533
01:27:56,320 --> 01:27:57,840
[James] Jeez!

1534
01:27:58,400 --> 01:27:59,560
[Richard] Awww.

1535
01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:04,200
[explosion]

1536
01:28:05,480 --> 01:28:07,280
- [Richard] That was your fault.
- [Jeremy] What?

1537
01:28:07,440 --> 01:28:09,200
[Richard] Well, it was your snowmobile.
They aren't any others in the Sahara.

1538
01:28:09,400 --> 01:28:12,600
I can't possibly have predicted
that it would hit the fuel bowser.

1539
01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:14,520
- You released it...
- From 150 miles away.

1540
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:17,480
- You released it into the wild.
- I didn't release it. It escaped!

1541
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:22,160
- We were told to behave ourselves.
- [Jeremy] Yes.

1542
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:25,920
[Richard] I think we should depart.

1543
01:28:26,560 --> 01:28:28,200
Yeah, we should go. Um...

1544
01:28:28,920 --> 01:28:30,800
- Fairly quickly?
- Yes.

1545
01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:34,240
[engine revving]

1546
01:28:35,880 --> 01:28:38,520
- [beeping]
- Please change gear. Change gear now.

1547
01:28:38,680 --> 01:28:41,160
Now! Now is the time.
It's-- now is the time.

1548
01:28:41,320 --> 01:28:43,920
Don't argue with me.
Now is the time to change gear!

1549
01:28:44,120 --> 01:28:46,000
[lively music]

1550
01:28:46,960 --> 01:28:50,160
[Jeremy] <i>James and I covered ground
at a brisk pace,</i>

1551
01:28:51,200 --> 01:28:54,200
<i>putting as much distance
between us and the explosion</i>

1552
01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:56,160
<i>as possible.</i>

1553
01:28:56,880 --> 01:29:03,320
<i>And soon we became consumed
by the stark beauty of our surroundings.</i>

1554
01:29:03,680 --> 01:29:06,120
[soft music]

1555
01:29:09,840 --> 01:29:14,840
The view on both sides,
especially that side, is spectacular.

1556
01:29:15,600 --> 01:29:19,680
It's almost like snow dunes,
the sand is so pale.

1557
01:29:21,360 --> 01:29:22,560
It's fantastic.

1558
01:29:31,840 --> 01:29:34,600
[James] <i>My temperature has plummeted
to 37.</i>

1559
01:29:36,080 --> 01:29:37,880
Oh yes, I'm down to 38.

1560
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:42,640
Wow! That's positively chilly.

1561
01:29:55,680 --> 01:29:59,440
[James] <i>Eventually, Jeremy and I arrived
in the capital city,</i>

1562
01:30:00,760 --> 01:30:02,240
<i>where it soon became clear</i>

1563
01:30:02,400 --> 01:30:06,520
<i>that we aren't as well known
as we are in other parts of the world.</i>

1564
01:30:08,240 --> 01:30:11,160
- [man] Richard!
- [honking]

1565
01:30:11,880 --> 01:30:14,120
Somebody just called me "Richard."

1566
01:30:15,040 --> 01:30:18,560
[James] <i>If the young man wanted to see
the real Richard,</i>

1567
01:30:18,720 --> 01:30:20,920
<i>he'd be waiting a long while,</i>

1568
01:30:21,400 --> 01:30:24,920
<i>given how Hammond
and the Terminator were getting on.</i>

1569
01:30:25,480 --> 01:30:28,320
- [beeping]
- Come back. Work, you twat.

1570
01:30:29,840 --> 01:30:32,160
Can we not just--
OK, it's your gearbox.

1571
01:30:32,320 --> 01:30:35,320
Can we think of it as our gearbox?

1572
01:30:36,480 --> 01:30:38,240
We both, we share a gearbox.

1573
01:30:39,360 --> 01:30:40,680
[clanking]

1574
01:30:40,840 --> 01:30:43,040
The central locking just went off.

1575
01:30:43,240 --> 01:30:46,520
- [beeping]
- It just locked its doors.

1576
01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:48,840
[soft music]

1577
01:30:53,520 --> 01:30:55,160
[Richard] <i>Several hours later,</i>

1578
01:30:55,320 --> 01:30:59,600
<i>Skynet propelled my one gear car
into Nouakchott,</i>

1579
01:31:00,320 --> 01:31:02,600
<i>where there was good enough Wi-Fi</i>

1580
01:31:02,760 --> 01:31:05,760
<i>for me to connect
the car's malfunctioning brain</i>

1581
01:31:05,920 --> 01:31:07,400
<i>to a diagnostic laptop.</i>

1582
01:31:10,240 --> 01:31:12,560
Right, 200 miles on one gear.

1583
01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:17,400
So laptop, I'm talking to it in zeros
and ones, the language it understands.

1584
01:31:18,000 --> 01:31:20,560
And I'm now going to see
what it's panicking about.

1585
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:25,600
It's worrying about a lot. Oh my God!

1586
01:31:26,800 --> 01:31:29,400
I'm in passenger door model,
it's worrying about its door.

1587
01:31:29,560 --> 01:31:31,600
Worry about your gearbox.

1588
01:31:32,320 --> 01:31:36,480
Global positioning module,
that's why I was in Nottingham.

1589
01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:39,840
I don't believe most of these
are mechanical faults.

1590
01:31:40,000 --> 01:31:43,280
Nothing's gone wrong.
It's just got upset.

1591
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:45,680
If I hit this,

1592
01:31:47,360 --> 01:31:49,760
this is basically
the "don't worry" button.

1593
01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:50,720
I'm going to do it.

1594
01:31:52,440 --> 01:31:54,560
Forget about it. It's clearing them.

1595
01:31:56,120 --> 01:32:00,640
Please, give me control of the car,
and let me drive.

1596
01:32:01,040 --> 01:32:04,280
So, hopefully...

1597
01:32:04,440 --> 01:32:05,800
Can't look.

1598
01:32:07,160 --> 01:32:09,440
Yeah! There you go!

1599
01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:12,360
That's nothing to moan about.

1600
01:32:12,520 --> 01:32:16,080
So I think I've got gears.

1601
01:32:17,160 --> 01:32:18,800
[exotic music]

1602
01:32:53,800 --> 01:32:56,880
[Richard] <i>The next morning,
as we set off to look around town,</i>

1603
01:32:57,080 --> 01:33:00,000
<i>it was the moment of truth.</i>

1604
01:33:04,760 --> 01:33:07,760
It changed gear!
It changed gear! It changed gear!

1605
01:33:07,920 --> 01:33:09,640
I've got gears. It just changed gear.

1606
01:33:10,560 --> 01:33:12,320
So, John Connor, you're fighting back.

1607
01:33:13,360 --> 01:33:14,320
[Richard] <i>Oh yes!</i>

1608
01:33:16,440 --> 01:33:18,440
[Jeremy] <i>Our aim was to do
a bit of sightseeing,</i>

1609
01:33:19,120 --> 01:33:21,400
<i>but immediately we got distracted</i>

1610
01:33:21,560 --> 01:33:26,280
<i>by the heroic brilliance
of Mauritania's cars.</i>

1611
01:33:29,640 --> 01:33:31,920
[Jeremy] Yes, the suspension's gone.

1612
01:33:33,040 --> 01:33:35,720
He's just crashed. He just crashed.

1613
01:33:35,880 --> 01:33:37,040
Is that what that noise was?

1614
01:33:37,240 --> 01:33:41,000
Maybe, one explanation for some
of the crashes that happened to this car

1615
01:33:41,920 --> 01:33:44,160
is the fact that you can't see out of it.

1616
01:33:45,240 --> 01:33:47,880
When, when does it stop
being a car?

1617
01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:50,560
I suppose when it stops moving.
Until then, it's a car.

1618
01:33:50,720 --> 01:33:53,000
I think one day it's driving on,
and just disappears.

1619
01:33:53,160 --> 01:33:54,200
Eww.

1620
01:33:54,560 --> 01:33:55,600
[James] Oh, that wasn't good.

1621
01:33:56,200 --> 01:33:58,080
[Richard] He's going to keep,
he's gonna keep going.

1622
01:33:58,640 --> 01:33:59,600
[Jeremy] Fantastic.

1623
01:33:59,760 --> 01:34:02,360
[James] He can't stop.
That bloke got to hang on to the door.

1624
01:34:02,520 --> 01:34:03,880
- [Richard] Another one.
- [James] Yes.

1625
01:34:04,640 --> 01:34:06,960
[James] I like the pedestrian
safety feature.

1626
01:34:07,120 --> 01:34:08,840
But it's working! It's...

1627
01:34:10,080 --> 01:34:12,080
Hammond you worried about your Aston,
and honestly...

1628
01:34:12,240 --> 01:34:13,840
Well, that's why I can't make a fuss,
isn't it?

1629
01:34:14,000 --> 01:34:16,200
I mean, I've only kind of started.

1630
01:34:18,080 --> 01:34:21,800
[Jeremy] <i>Having lapped up
these Mauritanian war horses,</i>

1631
01:34:22,000 --> 01:34:24,720
<i>we decided to go to a café for a drink...</i>

1632
01:34:25,160 --> 01:34:27,600
<i>of hot brown water.</i>

1633
01:34:28,040 --> 01:34:31,080
What does an MOT testing centre
look like here I wonder.

1634
01:34:31,280 --> 01:34:33,200
[Richard] Invisible. Ah! A Mercedes.

1635
01:34:33,400 --> 01:34:35,960
[Richard] Look, every panel,
more than once.

1636
01:34:36,120 --> 01:34:37,200
[Jeremy] Not just once.

1637
01:34:37,360 --> 01:34:39,680
[Richard] Oh yeah,
that's a lifetime's work.

1638
01:34:39,840 --> 01:34:43,840
And, John, how's your car,
or is Skynet still winning?

1639
01:34:44,000 --> 01:34:46,440
I'm fighting it, and it's fighting back.

1640
01:34:46,600 --> 01:34:49,120
Has it said, "Are you Sarah Connor?"

1641
01:34:49,280 --> 01:34:53,760
I'm wondering if I can sign up to be
part of the Borg, and fight it directly.

1642
01:34:53,920 --> 01:34:55,000
[Jeremy laughs]

1643
01:34:55,200 --> 01:34:56,760
That is a cracker!

1644
01:34:56,960 --> 01:34:57,760
Look at that.

1645
01:34:57,920 --> 01:34:59,280
- [Jeremy] Great one, look at that one.
- [Richard] That's nice.

1646
01:34:59,440 --> 01:35:02,120
[Jeremy] He's cruising,
arm out the window.

1647
01:35:03,840 --> 01:35:08,680
That isn't tea, but it is quite nice,
and even you will say it's quite nice.

1648
01:35:08,880 --> 01:35:10,840
It might have some tea in it.

1649
01:35:11,360 --> 01:35:12,760
- I'd rather have a beer.
- You what?

1650
01:35:12,920 --> 01:35:14,400
I'd rather have a beer.

1651
01:35:15,400 --> 01:35:16,440
Now on that front...

1652
01:35:17,840 --> 01:35:22,040
I know of a chain of off-licences

1653
01:35:22,200 --> 01:35:25,440
to be found in every single capital city
in the world,

1654
01:35:25,840 --> 01:35:30,000
and even in a dry country, a Muslim
country like this one, which is very dry,

1655
01:35:30,760 --> 01:35:35,040
you could always get a gin and tonic
or a refreshing pint of beer.

1656
01:35:35,200 --> 01:35:37,440
An off-licence here. What's it called?

1657
01:35:37,600 --> 01:35:40,600
It's everywhere.
It's called the British Embassy.

1658
01:35:40,760 --> 01:35:42,120
Ah! Is it?

1659
01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:43,120
Best sort.

1660
01:35:43,280 --> 01:35:44,680
[Jeremy] That is sovereign
British territory.

1661
01:35:44,840 --> 01:35:45,640
Yes.

1662
01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:48,600
They're bound to welcome us,
perhaps less so you,

1663
01:35:48,760 --> 01:35:50,800
and then we can have a refreshing drink.

1664
01:35:51,680 --> 01:35:53,440
- Where is it?
- Finish your tea.

1665
01:35:53,640 --> 01:35:55,160
I don't want it.

1666
01:35:57,000 --> 01:36:00,640
[Jeremy] <i>At Hammond's insistence,
I found the number for the embassy,</i>

1667
01:36:00,840 --> 01:36:04,040
<i>got us an appointment,
and we headed over there...</i>

1668
01:36:04,200 --> 01:36:05,360
<i>immediately.</i>

1669
01:36:05,560 --> 01:36:07,320
[exotic lively music]

1670
01:36:21,240 --> 01:36:23,880
[Jeremy] This is my favourite part
of this job,

1671
01:36:24,080 --> 01:36:26,720
getting to a town like this...

1672
01:36:27,960 --> 01:36:32,200
Just the buzz you get
from a town like this.

1673
01:36:35,920 --> 01:36:38,320
- [crashing]
- Gordon Bennett!

1674
01:36:39,200 --> 01:36:40,720
[Jeremy] Hammond's had an accident.

1675
01:36:41,480 --> 01:36:43,640
[Richard] <i>He's just rammed my Aston.</i>

1676
01:36:45,000 --> 01:36:48,800
Oh no, someone's driven
into his pristine DB9.

1677
01:36:49,240 --> 01:36:51,360
[Jeremy] <i>You should drive more carefully,
Hammond.</i>

1678
01:36:51,520 --> 01:36:54,360
It wasn't me! He just went through.

1679
01:36:54,560 --> 01:36:58,360
OK, we have a winner.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

1680
01:36:58,520 --> 01:37:01,160
- [Richard] <i>Oh!</i>
- [Jeremy] <i>I have no idea what it is,</i>

1681
01:37:01,320 --> 01:37:02,200
<i>or was.</i>

1682
01:37:02,360 --> 01:37:05,680
[James] <i>Well, I actually genuinely
don't know what that was.</i>

1683
01:37:06,400 --> 01:37:09,120
[Jeremy] <i>Not a clue,
but it's a bit of estate car.</i>

1684
01:37:09,600 --> 01:37:11,320
[James] <i>I think that's the end
of our car spotting here,</i>

1685
01:37:11,480 --> 01:37:14,160
<i>because you simply cannot beat that.</i>

1686
01:37:14,360 --> 01:37:16,400
[lively music]

1687
01:37:16,560 --> 01:37:22,360
[Jeremy] <i>After a few crash-free miles,
we arrived at the British Embassy.</i>

1688
01:37:22,520 --> 01:37:25,280
[Richard] <i>It's here, chaps.
Here is our club.</i>

1689
01:37:25,960 --> 01:37:28,320
Do you address them
as Your Ambassadorship,

1690
01:37:28,520 --> 01:37:29,720
<i>or something like that?</i>

1691
01:37:29,880 --> 01:37:32,880
[Jeremy] <i>Yes, your Supreme-beingship.</i>

1692
01:37:33,760 --> 01:37:35,960
Or how about just 'landlord'?

1693
01:37:36,160 --> 01:37:37,320
[he laughs]

1694
01:37:37,480 --> 01:37:39,640
[Richard] [Huge sigh of relief]
Gin!

1695
01:37:41,000 --> 01:37:42,880
[Jeremy] Anyway, listen, listen.

1696
01:37:43,320 --> 01:37:47,360
I find it polite when somebody says
"Can I offer you a drink," you say, no,

1697
01:37:48,320 --> 01:37:50,120
and then they're, "Are you sure,"
and you go, "Well..."

1698
01:37:50,280 --> 01:37:51,680
And you look at your watch, and go,

1699
01:37:51,840 --> 01:37:53,000
"Well, all right, just the one."

1700
01:37:53,200 --> 01:37:54,560
But you don't say yes straight away.

1701
01:37:54,720 --> 01:37:57,600
Because, "Would you like
a gin and tonic?" "Yes!" Don't do that.

1702
01:37:57,800 --> 01:37:59,200
Yeah, I think it's polite, yes,
yes, yeah.

1703
01:37:59,360 --> 01:38:01,200
I can only think about gin.

1704
01:38:01,400 --> 01:38:03,200
[solemn music]

1705
01:38:04,960 --> 01:38:06,640
[James] Ooh that's very nice.
Ooh isn't that very nice.

1706
01:38:06,800 --> 01:38:09,440
- [Jeremy] Only the British do this.
- [Richard] There's a lawn.

1707
01:38:09,640 --> 01:38:13,520
- That's a lawn.
- There's a bar, but don't look at it.

1708
01:38:14,560 --> 01:38:15,640
- [Colin Wells] Hey!
- [Jeremy] Good morning.

1709
01:38:15,800 --> 01:38:16,840
[Colin Wells] Good morning. How are you?

1710
01:38:17,000 --> 01:38:20,280
Colin Wells. It's very nice to meet you.
You're looking very smart.

1711
01:38:20,440 --> 01:38:21,360
- [Richard] Oh yes.
- [Colin Wells] Hello.

1712
01:38:21,520 --> 01:38:23,960
[Jeremy] He spent all night fighting
the Terminator. Hence the shirt.

1713
01:38:24,160 --> 01:38:25,000
[Richard] Successfully.

1714
01:38:25,160 --> 01:38:27,360
- [Colin Wells] Please go inside.
- [Jeremy] Thank you.

1715
01:38:30,320 --> 01:38:31,200
[Colin Wells] How's it been going?

1716
01:38:31,360 --> 01:38:33,560
[Jeremy] Pretty good actually,
for us two.

1717
01:38:33,720 --> 01:38:38,160
Um, we were slightly confused when
we found we were coming to Mauritania,

1718
01:38:38,360 --> 01:38:40,200
cos while we're quite well travelled,

1719
01:38:40,360 --> 01:38:43,400
we all look, all of us...
Well, he didn't think it existed at all.

1720
01:38:44,200 --> 01:38:46,440
He thought it was a C.S. Lewis invention.

1721
01:38:46,600 --> 01:38:50,280
But what did you feel like,
when you got the posting?

1722
01:38:50,440 --> 01:38:52,320
Oh very happy.
I wanted to come here.

1723
01:38:52,480 --> 01:38:54,840
- [Jeremy] You wanted to?
- I wanted to come here.

1724
01:38:55,280 --> 01:38:57,400
- You knew where it was.
- I did know where it was,

1725
01:38:57,560 --> 01:38:59,600
and a lot of people in my life
thought I was going to Mauritius

1726
01:38:59,760 --> 01:39:01,320
when I told them I was going
to Mauritania.

1727
01:39:01,480 --> 01:39:04,760
Exactly. "Yes, I've got Mauritius."
Mauritania?

1728
01:39:04,960 --> 01:39:06,080
[laughter]

1729
01:39:06,280 --> 01:39:10,000
I'm sorry, I should offer you a drink.
I'm really sorry. Um...

1730
01:39:10,160 --> 01:39:13,120
- Yes please.
- Would you like a drink? We've got um...

1731
01:39:13,320 --> 01:39:14,880
a good range of teas here,

1732
01:39:16,000 --> 01:39:18,120
if that would be uh--
Would that sound all right to you?

1733
01:39:18,720 --> 01:39:21,480
- I've got English Breakfast, Ceylon.
- [James] No, um...

1734
01:39:21,920 --> 01:39:23,360
- Tea, yes.
- Yeah, lovely.

1735
01:39:23,560 --> 01:39:25,640
I'll just go and order one of those.

1736
01:39:25,800 --> 01:39:27,200
- Thank you.
- Just excuse me just for a moment.

1737
01:39:27,360 --> 01:39:29,360
That's very hospitable.

1738
01:39:29,520 --> 01:39:30,320
[whispers] You lied.

1739
01:39:30,520 --> 01:39:32,360
- [whispers] Now look what's happened.
- [whispers] It's your fault.

1740
01:39:32,520 --> 01:39:34,640
- [whispers] Why is it my fault?
- [whispers] You mishandled it.

1741
01:39:34,840 --> 01:39:37,400
- [whispers] This is British territory.
- [arguing]

1742
01:39:37,560 --> 01:39:39,080
[whispers] Did we check
that he does drink?

1743
01:39:39,240 --> 01:39:41,440
I mean it's unlikely
that an ambassador wouldn't drink but...

1744
01:39:41,600 --> 01:39:43,000
Have you seen him?

1745
01:39:43,200 --> 01:39:45,960
[whispers] That's not a man who's
drank tonic water all his life.

1746
01:39:46,720 --> 01:39:50,880
[whispers] If we'd immediately said,
"Actually could I have a drink drink?"

1747
01:39:51,080 --> 01:39:54,000
I will agree. My good manners have
got us into a spot of bother here.

1748
01:39:54,200 --> 01:39:55,040
Yes.

1749
01:39:58,160 --> 01:40:00,240
[James] Can I ask whilst we're alone,

1750
01:40:00,440 --> 01:40:03,800
as you're a Jag driver,
which painting are you going home with?

1751
01:40:03,960 --> 01:40:05,760
Cos there's some very nice ones.

1752
01:40:05,920 --> 01:40:07,960
- Where are you going?
- Oh, chaps.

1753
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:20,360
I've ballsed this up completely.

1754
01:40:20,520 --> 01:40:22,400
It's his "Ferraro Roche".

1755
01:40:24,800 --> 01:40:26,640
- [James] You daft sod!
- [Richard] OK, that is...

1756
01:40:26,800 --> 01:40:27,600
[laughter]

1757
01:40:27,800 --> 01:40:31,000
That's not very ambass--
These people are trained to be suave.

1758
01:40:31,160 --> 01:40:32,760
They're smart, and cool,

1759
01:40:32,920 --> 01:40:36,840
and you've knocked over their tower
of Ferrero Roche, you cretin!

1760
01:40:37,640 --> 01:40:39,040
[James] Put those back on
in the right order.

1761
01:40:40,040 --> 01:40:42,320
- [Jeremy] Sorry, I shouldn't be laughing.
- [James] You've trodden on that one.

1762
01:40:42,480 --> 01:40:45,240
- [Jeremy] I haven't trodden on it.
- [James] Somebody has.

1763
01:40:46,440 --> 01:40:48,000
Right, quickly, sit down.

1764
01:40:51,480 --> 01:40:53,080
- [Colin Wells] Oh, sorry to be slow.
- [Jeremy] Oh, I say.

1765
01:40:55,600 --> 01:40:58,080
That's a rather fine pot.

1766
01:40:59,440 --> 01:41:00,920
[Colin Wells] Yeah,
that's our official crockery.

1767
01:41:01,480 --> 01:41:04,480
That's exactly what I wanted, a cup
of tea, it's very refreshing, isn't it?

1768
01:41:04,640 --> 01:41:05,640
[James] It is.

1769
01:41:06,440 --> 01:41:07,880
[Jeremy] Thank you very much.

1770
01:41:08,080 --> 01:41:10,200
[clock chiming]

1771
01:41:15,400 --> 01:41:17,920
[Jeremy] <i>After a polite pot or two,</i>

1772
01:41:19,360 --> 01:41:23,800
<i>we made our excuses and were able
to resume our tour of the city.</i>

1773
01:41:25,440 --> 01:41:27,760
[Richard] Let's have another gear change.
Come on, let's do it again.

1774
01:41:27,960 --> 01:41:29,560
Let's do it again. Come on.

1775
01:41:32,240 --> 01:41:34,600
Aww, another gear change.

1776
01:41:40,320 --> 01:41:44,560
[Richard] <i>Soon, we came across something
rather intriguing.</i>

1777
01:41:46,160 --> 01:41:47,680
What is going on here?

1778
01:41:48,760 --> 01:41:50,760
[Richard] It's a very wide road.

1779
01:41:50,960 --> 01:41:52,920
[intriguing music]

1780
01:41:59,480 --> 01:42:00,520
I know what this is.

1781
01:42:01,600 --> 01:42:02,680
[Richard] What?

1782
01:42:03,080 --> 01:42:06,320
They built an airport
right next to the city,

1783
01:42:06,520 --> 01:42:09,840
and then the city grew,
and sort of swamped the airport.

1784
01:42:10,040 --> 01:42:15,040
And they've been left with a runway
right in the middle of the capital city.

1785
01:42:15,800 --> 01:42:17,520
Oh yes, cos look, there's more city
over there, so it's...

1786
01:42:17,680 --> 01:42:21,400
- Yeah.
- It's not on the edge. It's in it.

1787
01:42:22,000 --> 01:42:23,600
Is this not an excellent opportunity

1788
01:42:23,760 --> 01:42:26,240
for something we failed to do
the other day, i.e. a drag race?

1789
01:42:26,400 --> 01:42:27,200
Oooh yes!

1790
01:42:27,360 --> 01:42:29,120
Runways are indeed for drag races.

1791
01:42:29,320 --> 01:42:30,800
- And he...
- [James] And he's mended.

1792
01:42:30,960 --> 01:42:32,440
You can take part.

1793
01:42:32,640 --> 01:42:35,280
I haven't raised it with the forces
of evil in there yet,

1794
01:42:35,440 --> 01:42:36,840
but I'd love to have a go.

1795
01:42:38,520 --> 01:42:42,280
[Richard] <i>Since the runway was as empty
as any other abandoned airstrip,</i>

1796
01:42:42,440 --> 01:42:44,560
<i>we decided we were good to go.</i>

1797
01:42:45,280 --> 01:42:47,720
Right, sport, traction control off,

1798
01:42:47,880 --> 01:42:51,640
use the paddles, sunglasses down,
windows up, ready.

1799
01:42:51,840 --> 01:42:54,440
[suspenseful music]

1800
01:42:56,080 --> 01:42:58,240
It's taken sport mode away.

1801
01:42:59,040 --> 01:43:02,680
[Richard] <i>You know my sport button?
It's decided I can't have it.</i>

1802
01:43:02,840 --> 01:43:03,920
[he laughs]

1803
01:43:04,360 --> 01:43:05,920
Oh no, I can again.

1804
01:43:06,080 --> 01:43:08,840
Thank you... Master.

1805
01:43:13,440 --> 01:43:17,160
[Richard] <i>V6, V8, V12.</i>

1806
01:43:19,160 --> 01:43:20,480
<i>Which would be quickest?</i>

1807
01:43:24,600 --> 01:43:25,800
A good start from the Jag.

1808
01:43:27,920 --> 01:43:31,400
Oh! My car is fast!

1809
01:43:34,800 --> 01:43:38,560
One gear, two gears.
Brilliant! It's working!

1810
01:43:39,040 --> 01:43:42,800
Hang on a minute.
That is... that's traffic.

1811
01:43:44,800 --> 01:43:46,240
[dramatic music]

1812
01:43:46,440 --> 01:43:49,360
The runway has traffic. Holy shit,
I'm gonna have a...

1813
01:43:50,320 --> 01:43:51,320
Whoa!

1814
01:43:52,360 --> 01:43:53,320
Maniac!

1815
01:43:56,720 --> 01:43:58,160
Jeez, what the...

1816
01:43:59,040 --> 01:44:00,520
Shit!

1817
01:44:02,320 --> 01:44:03,400
Oh dear God!

1818
01:44:05,680 --> 01:44:08,360
Oh, that's a-- that's a--
I was going to hit that...

1819
01:44:15,240 --> 01:44:16,520
Holy moly!

1820
01:44:18,840 --> 01:44:20,920
That was the weirdest drag race
I've ever done.

1821
01:44:21,960 --> 01:44:25,040
[Richard] <i>This is not an empty runway,
is it?</i>

1822
01:44:25,200 --> 01:44:28,640
[James] I don't think it's a runway
anymore. I think it might be a road.

1823
01:44:29,920 --> 01:44:32,000
Let's not do that again.

1824
01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:34,720
Thank you for giving me the brakes
when I needed them.

1825
01:44:34,880 --> 01:44:36,680
I'm very grateful and I appreciate it.

1826
01:44:37,440 --> 01:44:38,680
Thank you.

1827
01:44:41,440 --> 01:44:44,240
[lively music]

1828
01:44:49,320 --> 01:44:51,920
[Jeremy] <i>The next morning,
we were up bright and early,</i>

1829
01:44:52,080 --> 01:44:55,160
<i>because it was time to leave Nouakchott.</i>

1830
01:44:57,360 --> 01:45:00,760
These lorries full of sand,
who are they going to sell it to?

1831
01:45:00,920 --> 01:45:03,360
They've got some lovely sand for sale
over here.

1832
01:45:04,640 --> 01:45:05,720
[Jeremy] <i>There are big piles of it here.</i>

1833
01:45:05,880 --> 01:45:07,760
<i>In case you didn't like the sand earlier,</i>

1834
01:45:07,960 --> 01:45:09,120
there's some sand there.

1835
01:45:09,600 --> 01:45:12,160
Very competitive market, sand.

1836
01:45:13,320 --> 01:45:15,720
Why do they sell sand?

1837
01:45:16,160 --> 01:45:18,840
You can literally walk 30 feet.

1838
01:45:21,720 --> 01:45:25,560
[Jeremy] <i>We then left the capital,
heading south for Senegal.</i>

1839
01:45:26,560 --> 01:45:32,120
<i>And after a few hours, we started
to notice a change in our surroundings.</i>

1840
01:45:34,160 --> 01:45:35,520
I wouldn't call it lush,

1841
01:45:36,160 --> 01:45:39,680
but it's less barren
than anything we've seen so far,

1842
01:45:39,880 --> 01:45:41,120
that's for sure.

1843
01:45:41,280 --> 01:45:45,520
I think we're very close to the edge
of the Sahara Desert here.

1844
01:45:46,560 --> 01:45:48,200
What are they on the right?
Are they cows?

1845
01:45:48,360 --> 01:45:51,520
Many cows. It's a herd.
That's definitely been farmed.

1846
01:45:51,720 --> 01:45:53,000
Look at it.

1847
01:45:53,440 --> 01:45:58,120
[Jeremy] And that tells me that we have
crossed the Sahara.

1848
01:45:58,280 --> 01:46:00,720
Hello, cows. Look at you!

1849
01:46:01,480 --> 01:46:04,360
[lively music]

1850
01:46:06,200 --> 01:46:09,560
[Jeremy] Grass. I'm driving on grass
for the first time

1851
01:46:09,760 --> 01:46:11,840
in what feels like 500 years.

1852
01:46:13,080 --> 01:46:16,360
What we're looking for
is a border into Senegal.

1853
01:46:18,120 --> 01:46:22,000
So there'll be, like, you know,
a checkpoint. And in we go.

1854
01:46:24,600 --> 01:46:28,160
[Richard] <i>We drove further and further
along the myriad of tracks,</i>

1855
01:46:28,560 --> 01:46:30,000
<i>but even after an hour,</i>

1856
01:46:30,160 --> 01:46:34,680
<i>we still hadn't found anything
that looked remotely official.</i>

1857
01:46:35,120 --> 01:46:37,160
Where's this bloody border?

1858
01:46:38,720 --> 01:46:41,960
I was expecting, like, a fence
and a checkpoint, maybe.

1859
01:46:42,440 --> 01:46:45,400
Yeah, a passport and so on.
Yeah, definitely.

1860
01:46:45,600 --> 01:46:47,760
[intriguing music]

1861
01:46:47,960 --> 01:46:50,960
[Jeremy] <i>Finally, our search seemed
to bear fruit.</i>

1862
01:46:51,960 --> 01:46:55,640
This has to be a border town.
It has to be.

1863
01:47:00,760 --> 01:47:01,920
Oh, no.

1864
01:47:03,800 --> 01:47:05,800
I've got a horrible feeling.

1865
01:47:10,200 --> 01:47:12,560
Houston,

1866
01:47:12,720 --> 01:47:15,160
we have a problem.

1867
01:47:17,080 --> 01:47:20,600
That, I suspect, is the border.

1868
01:47:21,360 --> 01:47:22,640
Um...

1869
01:47:23,720 --> 01:47:26,760
[Jeremy] <i>Excusez-moi. C'est Sénégal, là?</i>

1870
01:47:27,680 --> 01:47:29,560
<i>Sénégal. C'est Mauritanie ? Sénégal ?</i>

1871
01:47:29,720 --> 01:47:30,760
[men] Senegal, right.

1872
01:47:30,960 --> 01:47:32,960
Jeremy, there's a huge river in the way.

1873
01:47:35,560 --> 01:47:38,480
[Jeremy] The border is a bit more rivery
than I thought it was going to be.

1874
01:47:38,680 --> 01:47:40,600
- [Richard] I thought a fence.
- [Jeremy] I did.

1875
01:47:41,080 --> 01:47:42,920
That's all right. There's a bridge.

1876
01:47:43,120 --> 01:47:44,000
[Jeremy] I'll get my phone out.

1877
01:47:44,200 --> 01:47:46,560
What are you entering?
"Bridges near me"?

1878
01:47:48,840 --> 01:47:50,320
[Jeremy] There's a road.

1879
01:47:52,360 --> 01:47:54,120
We're the best explorers.

1880
01:47:54,560 --> 01:47:58,200
- [Jeremy] Oh, town there. No bridge.
- [James] No bridge.

1881
01:47:58,360 --> 01:48:01,000
[Jeremy] Oh, Jesus.
Well, how do you get to...

1882
01:48:01,160 --> 01:48:03,160
[James] So nobody ever goes there
in a car?

1883
01:48:03,600 --> 01:48:04,400
No.

1884
01:48:04,560 --> 01:48:07,120
OK, look, I've gone about
a hundred miles down...

1885
01:48:07,280 --> 01:48:08,760
- [Richard] That's...
- ...upstream, and there's no bridge.

1886
01:48:09,200 --> 01:48:12,560
[Richard] This is precisely why people
use rivers as borders.

1887
01:48:13,120 --> 01:48:14,360
[James] Could we get the cars on...

1888
01:48:14,560 --> 01:48:16,160
No.

1889
01:48:16,360 --> 01:48:17,560
[Jeremy] On that?

1890
01:48:17,720 --> 01:48:19,920
[James] Two of those boats,
I was thinking about. It's a bit...

1891
01:48:20,080 --> 01:48:21,840
But boats that... Hang on...

1892
01:48:22,640 --> 01:48:24,120
What if we built a boat?

1893
01:48:24,320 --> 01:48:25,120
[Jeremy sighs]

1894
01:48:25,280 --> 01:48:27,200
- Out of dust, or sand?
- I don't mean an ark.

1895
01:48:27,360 --> 01:48:29,160
I just mean, like, a... What about...

1896
01:48:29,320 --> 01:48:34,440
What have we got here? Two, four, six...
Nearly six tons of car.

1897
01:48:34,600 --> 01:48:36,400
It doesn't really need to be a boat.
It just needs to be a platform.

1898
01:48:36,880 --> 01:48:39,560
What do you see a hell of
a lot of here?

1899
01:48:39,760 --> 01:48:41,400
Just anywhere you stand?

1900
01:48:41,560 --> 01:48:44,080
[Jeremy] What have I seen
since I got here? Dust.

1901
01:48:44,240 --> 01:48:46,400
- [James] Sand.
- [Jeremy] Goats.

1902
01:48:46,560 --> 01:48:47,800
- [James] Camels.
- [Jeremy] That's it.

1903
01:48:47,960 --> 01:48:49,880
- [Richard] And one other thing...
- [James] There's sand, there's camels.

1904
01:48:50,040 --> 01:48:51,440
...in vast numbers.

1905
01:48:52,600 --> 01:48:53,880
Plastic bottles.

1906
01:48:54,080 --> 01:48:55,360
- Yes.
- Flattened plastic bottle.

1907
01:48:55,520 --> 01:48:58,040
Yes, but plenty--
We've just driven over that one.

1908
01:48:58,200 --> 01:49:02,040
What if we find--
Well, find, just gather.

1909
01:49:02,200 --> 01:49:04,360
- [Jeremy] Yeah, one, two...
- As many plastic bottles as we can.

1910
01:49:04,560 --> 01:49:06,880
There's one over there. Over there.
They're everywhere.

1911
01:49:07,080 --> 01:49:08,280
- It's a good point.
- And we build...

1912
01:49:08,440 --> 01:49:12,160
If we could get--
What do they do with-- Look, nets.

1913
01:49:12,800 --> 01:49:15,240
- You're suggesting we get a fishing net.
- Yes.

1914
01:49:15,400 --> 01:49:16,960
- Fill it with plastic bottles.
- Yes.

1915
01:49:17,120 --> 01:49:18,520
- I agree that would float.
- Yes.

1916
01:49:18,680 --> 01:49:20,400
- Then we put a car on it.
- Yes.

1917
01:49:20,760 --> 01:49:22,400
I don't agree that would float.

1918
01:49:22,560 --> 01:49:24,240
- It will if you have enough bottles.
- Exactly.

1919
01:49:24,400 --> 01:49:25,880
It's buoyancy. It's just physics.

1920
01:49:26,040 --> 01:49:27,240
It's not a cruel and unpredictable
mistress.

1921
01:49:27,400 --> 01:49:28,200
No, it isn't.

1922
01:49:28,360 --> 01:49:29,880
- What isn't?
- Buoyancy.

1923
01:49:30,040 --> 01:49:31,360
- Of course it is.
- It's Archimedes.

1924
01:49:31,520 --> 01:49:32,560
It's been understood for...

1925
01:49:32,720 --> 01:49:35,240
Nobody would drown
if it wasn't cruel and unpredictable.

1926
01:49:35,440 --> 01:49:36,840
- It's been known since antiquity...
- Yes.

1927
01:49:37,040 --> 01:49:38,400
[James] And the rules still work.

1928
01:49:38,600 --> 01:49:40,600
Also, we are tidying up.

1929
01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:43,040
- [Jeremy] That I agree with.
- [James] That's true. Yes.

1930
01:49:43,240 --> 01:49:44,480
We're leaving the place better
than we found it.

1931
01:49:44,640 --> 01:49:47,080
On that basis, then,
shall we cue the music?

1932
01:49:47,240 --> 01:49:49,080
- Mm-hm.
- Cue the music.

1933
01:49:49,560 --> 01:49:52,040
[theme music from <i>The A-Team]</i>

1934
01:49:54,160 --> 01:49:56,520
That could be very useful.

1935
01:49:59,360 --> 01:50:00,680
[Jeremy] Perfect.

1936
01:50:01,400 --> 01:50:03,000
[music continues]

1937
01:50:09,720 --> 01:50:11,760
[Jeremy] I need a lie-down.

1938
01:50:31,880 --> 01:50:34,480
No, all right?
Just no. I'm not interested.

1939
01:50:35,440 --> 01:50:38,200
[James] Oh. Oh, yes.

1940
01:50:44,800 --> 01:50:46,920
[Jeremy] <i>Having spent thousands of pounds</i>

1941
01:50:47,080 --> 01:50:49,880
<i>on a license to use
all that</i> A-Team <i>music,</i>

1942
01:50:50,080 --> 01:50:53,000
<i>our raft was finally completed.</i>

1943
01:50:53,200 --> 01:50:55,640
[solemn music]

1944
01:50:59,840 --> 01:51:05,560
<i>And to see whether it worked, we decided
to send the backup van first.</i>

1945
01:51:06,280 --> 01:51:08,160
- [Jeremy] We've drawn a crowd.
- [James] Yes.

1946
01:51:08,360 --> 01:51:10,360
[Jeremy] Expecting us all to drown,
which we will.

1947
01:51:10,560 --> 01:51:11,400
- [James] No, we won't.
- [Jeremy] We will.

1948
01:51:11,560 --> 01:51:13,200
- [James] They'll be disappointed.
- [Jeremy] We will.

1949
01:51:14,320 --> 01:51:15,400
- [Richard] Clarkson!
- [Jeremy] What?

1950
01:51:15,560 --> 01:51:18,320
- Straight back. Am I good that side?
- Yeah, straight back.

1951
01:51:19,160 --> 01:51:20,240
[Richard] Hey-hey-hey!

1952
01:51:23,640 --> 01:51:24,440
[Jeremy] Right.

1953
01:51:24,640 --> 01:51:26,880
Now, um, this is my idea, yeah?

1954
01:51:27,040 --> 01:51:28,400
So I'm the captain. This time.

1955
01:51:28,600 --> 01:51:30,200
Uh, jobs.
There are three.

1956
01:51:30,360 --> 01:51:33,120
I'm going to be with the van. So my job
is drive it off at the other side.

1957
01:51:33,280 --> 01:51:34,480
James, you're on the front.

1958
01:51:34,640 --> 01:51:37,320
When we get there, you've got to get us
on the bank and safe.

1959
01:51:37,480 --> 01:51:39,200
Jeremy, you're operating the motor
at the back.

1960
01:51:39,400 --> 01:51:42,840
But, I just want to make this absolutely
clear, I don't believe this will work.

1961
01:51:43,000 --> 01:51:43,800
Oh, it'll work.

1962
01:51:44,000 --> 01:51:48,320
Well, no, listen. Genuinely, genuinely,
I don't want any cocking around,

1963
01:51:48,520 --> 01:51:50,800
'cause there's a disease.

1964
01:51:51,000 --> 01:51:52,920
Well, it's a parasite. Um.

1965
01:51:53,320 --> 01:51:56,920
{\an8}Schistosomiasis. Uh, we can put
that on the screen at the bottom

1966
01:51:57,080 --> 01:51:59,400
{\an8}and you can Google it.
And you'll know I'm not making this up.

1967
01:51:59,600 --> 01:52:02,680
In the Senegal River, which is this, OK?
It's a parasite.

1968
01:52:03,440 --> 01:52:07,720
If you go in the water,
it will attach itself to your skin,

1969
01:52:07,920 --> 01:52:10,120
burrow through your flesh,
into your bloodstream,

1970
01:52:10,320 --> 01:52:14,400
where it is carried to your liver and
your intestines, where it lays its eggs.

1971
01:52:14,600 --> 01:52:18,400
Don't jump in. Whatever happens,
we'll chug across there.

1972
01:52:19,200 --> 01:52:21,000
It's only there. Look, it's there.

1973
01:52:21,520 --> 01:52:23,280
[dramatic music]

1974
01:52:24,760 --> 01:52:26,640
[Jeremy] Firing up the motor.

1975
01:52:28,680 --> 01:52:31,120
<i>HMS Shit</i> is-- aargh!

1976
01:52:31,800 --> 01:52:34,360
[Jeremy] <i>Eager to see
some comedy capsizing,</i>

1977
01:52:34,560 --> 01:52:37,560
<i>the locals were happy to push us off.</i>

1978
01:52:38,400 --> 01:52:39,400
- [Richard] Oh, yes!
- [James] We're going.

1979
01:52:39,560 --> 01:52:42,200
[Richard] <i>Merci ! Merci !</i>

1980
01:52:43,280 --> 01:52:45,960
[Richard] I think if you can turn us
when we get out there.

1981
01:52:46,360 --> 01:52:47,480
[Jeremy] OK.

1982
01:52:47,920 --> 01:52:50,480
That feels weird,
calling Richard Hammond captain.

1983
01:52:51,560 --> 01:52:55,360
I shall do as he says, because when
it goes wrong, it won't be my fault.

1984
01:52:55,560 --> 01:52:57,160
[James] It's very slow,
but it is going.

1985
01:52:57,320 --> 01:52:58,800
[Richard] Slow and steady,
that's all we need.

1986
01:52:59,000 --> 01:52:59,800
Relax.

1987
01:52:59,960 --> 01:53:01,120
Once we've got it turned,
we'll make better headway.

1988
01:53:04,200 --> 01:53:05,600
I should have brought a chair.

1989
01:53:06,760 --> 01:53:08,440
[Richard] The front's coming round.

1990
01:53:10,280 --> 01:53:11,360
[Richard] The front is com...

1991
01:53:11,520 --> 01:53:14,040
- [motor stops]
- [Jeremy] Oh, shit!

1992
01:53:14,200 --> 01:53:16,240
[Jeremy tries to restart the motor]

1993
01:53:16,440 --> 01:53:18,480
- See if you can start it.
- OK, trying the motor.

1994
01:53:19,120 --> 01:53:22,840
Uh, chaps! We've lost...

1995
01:53:23,000 --> 01:53:25,960
- [Jeremy] What?
- [Richard] Nothing. Don't panic.

1996
01:53:26,120 --> 01:53:26,920
[James] What have we lost?

1997
01:53:27,080 --> 01:53:29,200
[Richard] Um, we've lost some of
the bloody... The bottles have come off.

1998
01:53:29,360 --> 01:53:30,160
- [James] What?
- [Jeremy] What?

1999
01:53:30,360 --> 01:53:31,520
The buoyancy bottles have com--
We are actually--

2000
01:53:31,680 --> 01:53:34,160
No, that isn't like we're sinking.
We actually are.

2001
01:53:34,320 --> 01:53:36,040
[James] Everybody stand on this side as
far out as you can.

2002
01:53:36,200 --> 01:53:38,480
- [Jeremy] Oh, Jesus!
- [James] Who lashed those on?

2003
01:53:38,680 --> 01:53:41,480
[Richard] Uh, Jeremy,
it really is actually sinking.

2004
01:53:41,640 --> 01:53:44,160
- [Jeremy] Engine has begun.
- [James] Excellent. Head for shore.

2005
01:53:45,240 --> 01:53:46,880
[Jeremy] Right, I'm going to try
and get us back, chaps.

2006
01:53:47,040 --> 01:53:49,760
OK, I think you're right.
Let's-- We'll learn from this.

2007
01:53:49,920 --> 01:53:50,960
[James] How's it looking
at the other side?

2008
01:53:51,120 --> 01:53:52,080
[Richard] It's looking a bit sinky.

2009
01:53:52,280 --> 01:53:54,640
[Jeremy] I think, we should be all right,
I think.

2010
01:53:55,680 --> 01:53:57,120
[Jeremy] It's gone again!

2011
01:53:57,280 --> 01:53:58,280
[James] Oh, Jesus.

2012
01:53:58,840 --> 01:54:00,520
- [Richard] Um.
- [James] Is that going down--

2013
01:54:00,680 --> 01:54:01,840
[Richard] It's going down
much more quickly.

2014
01:54:02,000 --> 01:54:04,360
[Jeremy] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

2015
01:54:04,560 --> 01:54:06,360
[Richard] I think probably abandon ship.

2016
01:54:06,560 --> 01:54:08,520
[Jeremy] Can you pass me a water bottle?

2017
01:54:09,200 --> 01:54:10,000
[Richard] James!

2018
01:54:10,160 --> 01:54:11,880
[Jeremy] Pass me a water bottle.

2019
01:54:12,360 --> 01:54:13,720
That's not worked.

2020
01:54:14,840 --> 01:54:17,480
- [James] No, I don't believe it.
- [Richard] I'm the captain. Bugger this.

2021
01:54:20,120 --> 01:54:22,280
- [Jeremy] Hammond, you're the captain!
- [Richard] I'm sorry!

2022
01:54:22,480 --> 01:54:23,760
Oh!

2023
01:54:24,200 --> 01:54:25,000
[James] Thank you.

2024
01:54:26,200 --> 01:54:27,640
[James] I'm not-- I'm still on.

2025
01:54:27,800 --> 01:54:30,240
[Richard] James, it's going to go all the
way over. You'll have to go off.

2026
01:54:34,240 --> 01:54:37,160
[Jeremy] Burrowing.
They're burrowing into me.

2027
01:54:39,000 --> 01:54:40,440
[Jeremy] I'm John Hurt.

2028
01:54:40,600 --> 01:54:43,200
[Richard] It has sunk comp-- Oh, God!

2029
01:54:44,000 --> 01:54:45,160
- [Jeremy] Has it gone?
- [Richard] It's gone.

2030
01:54:45,320 --> 01:54:46,120
[James] It's gone.

2031
01:54:51,480 --> 01:54:52,840
[Jeremy] I'm all right!

2032
01:54:54,240 --> 01:54:55,760
[Richard] Ha! Well...

2033
01:54:55,920 --> 01:54:57,520
- [James] You can walk from there.
- [Richard] You can walk from there.

2034
01:54:57,680 --> 01:54:58,640
Well, you say that...

2035
01:54:58,800 --> 01:55:01,280
[Richard] But keep your feet moving
or you sink into the mud and it kills.

2036
01:55:01,440 --> 01:55:04,400
- [Jeremy] There's this much faeces?
- [Richard] Yeah, it is all faeces.

2037
01:55:04,560 --> 01:55:06,720
- [Jeremy] And I have ingested...
- [Richard] A lot of it?

2038
01:55:06,880 --> 01:55:08,160
- [Jeremy] A lot of it.
- [Richard] OK.

2039
01:55:08,320 --> 01:55:09,120
[James] You're on your own.

2040
01:55:09,280 --> 01:55:11,040
[Richard] You're gonna need
some antibiotics.

2041
01:55:11,680 --> 01:55:13,960
[Richard] A big needle full.

2042
01:55:14,360 --> 01:55:16,680
Um, can I just point something else out?

2043
01:55:17,240 --> 01:55:18,600
We've lost our van.

2044
01:55:19,120 --> 01:55:22,040
OK, that is bad, but...

2045
01:55:22,240 --> 01:55:25,120
we've already harvested enough materials
to build rafts for the cars.

2046
01:55:25,280 --> 01:55:26,880
So we're not out yet.

2047
01:55:27,400 --> 01:55:28,200
What's he on about?

2048
01:55:28,360 --> 01:55:31,280
[Richard] Well, there are flaws
with that particular effort, yes.

2049
01:55:31,440 --> 01:55:34,520
We know we can do better and shall.

2050
01:55:35,000 --> 01:55:38,960
So as soon as you're out and all dried,
there's only one thing to do.

2051
01:55:42,240 --> 01:55:44,520
No. It's cue the music.

2052
01:55:44,720 --> 01:55:45,600
What?

2053
01:55:45,800 --> 01:55:48,280
- We've still got to get across.
- We're not over there, are we?

2054
01:55:48,920 --> 01:55:50,320
- [Richard] I know you feel rough.
- I do.

2055
01:55:50,480 --> 01:55:52,320
I know you're 63
and you're full of beetles

2056
01:55:52,520 --> 01:55:54,440
- burrowing their way out of your organs.
- [Jeremy] Yes. Into my liver.

2057
01:55:54,600 --> 01:55:56,800
And you're going to have chronic
diarrhoea for the next week.

2058
01:55:57,000 --> 01:56:00,040
- [Jeremy] Yes.
- But over there is a bar.

2059
01:56:00,240 --> 01:56:01,200
- Yes.
- Over here there isn't.

2060
01:56:01,360 --> 01:56:02,160
Yes.

2061
01:56:02,360 --> 01:56:03,480
- We go over there.
- [Jeremy] Yes.

2062
01:56:03,640 --> 01:56:05,640
- We're in the bar.
- So we're saying cue the music.

2063
01:56:05,800 --> 01:56:07,040
- [Richard] Yeah.
- Cue the music.

2064
01:56:08,440 --> 01:56:12,880
[theme music from <i>The A-Team]</i>

2065
01:56:33,080 --> 01:56:35,080
[hammering]

2066
01:56:39,560 --> 01:56:41,360
[intriguing music]

2067
01:56:41,520 --> 01:56:43,240
[Jeremy] <i>The next day, we were ready</i>

2068
01:56:43,400 --> 01:56:46,440
<i>for border crossing 2.0.</i>

2069
01:56:47,440 --> 01:56:49,360
[suspenseful music]

2070
01:56:53,160 --> 01:56:57,400
Um, we've faced some complexities,
I admit.

2071
01:56:57,760 --> 01:57:00,880
Because you've got to keep the front
of the car out of the water, obviously.

2072
01:57:01,040 --> 01:57:04,480
But you've got to have the back wheels
just in the water

2073
01:57:04,880 --> 01:57:07,480
because we've attached
paddles to them,

2074
01:57:07,640 --> 01:57:08,720
like propellers,

2075
01:57:08,880 --> 01:57:12,760
which will give us forward movement
or reverse movement.

2076
01:57:13,240 --> 01:57:14,200
Steering?

2077
01:57:14,840 --> 01:57:16,520
Well, there's a rudder here

2078
01:57:17,200 --> 01:57:22,280
which is attached to a sort of lever
by the door mirror there.

2079
01:57:22,840 --> 01:57:23,920
And that won't work.

2080
01:57:24,840 --> 01:57:27,880
James and Richard think it will.
I think it won't.

2081
01:57:29,320 --> 01:57:30,840
[engine revving]

2082
01:57:33,760 --> 01:57:34,920
[Richard] This is brilliant.

2083
01:57:35,440 --> 01:57:36,960
James, do you think
this is going to work?

2084
01:57:38,600 --> 01:57:41,560
[Richard] James, do you think this is
going to work? Jeremy's asking you.

2085
01:57:42,800 --> 01:57:44,160
- James May?
- What?

2086
01:57:44,320 --> 01:57:46,640
Do you think this is going to work?

2087
01:57:46,800 --> 01:57:48,080
What?

2088
01:57:48,720 --> 01:57:49,920
He's so old.

2089
01:57:50,080 --> 01:57:53,640
Do you think... this...
is going to... work?

2090
01:57:53,800 --> 01:57:54,600
Yes.

2091
01:57:55,560 --> 01:57:58,440
Right, um, I'm going to give it a go.
Going into gear.

2092
01:58:00,240 --> 01:58:03,080
[Jeremy] <i>Keen to see a repeat
of yesterday's calamity,</i>

2093
01:58:03,240 --> 01:58:06,800
<i>the locals were even more eager
to help get us going.</i>

2094
01:58:06,960 --> 01:58:08,120
[Richard] <i>Merci.</i>

2095
01:58:08,720 --> 01:58:11,280
[Jeremy] <i>Merci, monsieur.
Merci, merci, très gentil.</i>

2096
01:58:11,440 --> 01:58:12,400
[James] <i>Merci.</i>

2097
01:58:12,600 --> 01:58:14,200
[suspenseful music]

2098
01:58:17,600 --> 01:58:19,280
[Richard] Rudder deploying.

2099
01:58:22,760 --> 01:58:25,520
Oh, don't touch the steering wheel,
you idiot. It doesn't do anything.

2100
01:58:27,200 --> 01:58:28,040
Hello!

2101
01:58:28,240 --> 01:58:31,480
What I'm seeing, Richard Hammond,
is you and the DB9 on a...

2102
01:58:31,920 --> 01:58:33,240
[Richard laughs]

2103
01:58:33,400 --> 01:58:36,120
No, don't do that, you selfish man.

2104
01:58:41,040 --> 01:58:43,440
[Jeremy] <i>Our landing point
on the Senegalese side</i>

2105
01:58:43,600 --> 01:58:47,960
<i>was a small beach
just 400 metres away.</i>

2106
01:58:49,640 --> 01:58:53,400
[Richard] Right. So, now I'm going to
execute a perfect curving turn.

2107
01:58:53,840 --> 01:58:55,080
Up onto the landing beach,

2108
01:58:55,280 --> 01:58:58,760
drive up, show my passport,
Senegal, beer.

2109
01:59:00,200 --> 01:59:04,240
[Richard] <i>However, we soon discovered
that for once, Jeremy had been right.</i>

2110
01:59:05,000 --> 01:59:06,920
<i>The steering didn't work.</i>

2111
01:59:07,560 --> 01:59:09,920
[Richard] I can't turn left.
I can only go right.

2112
01:59:10,120 --> 01:59:12,560
I turn left even with full right rudder.

2113
01:59:13,120 --> 01:59:17,240
[Jeremy] It won't-- Mine won't
turn right. I can only go left.

2114
01:59:18,200 --> 01:59:19,800
I'd love to be able to explain,
ladies and gentlemen,

2115
01:59:20,000 --> 01:59:22,000
I'm arriving at the other side,

2116
01:59:22,200 --> 01:59:24,320
but I'm not. I'm arriving back
where I started from.

2117
01:59:25,560 --> 01:59:27,440
[James] Come on, you bastard.

2118
01:59:28,800 --> 01:59:30,800
[Jeremy] Oh, I'm in the reeds.

2119
01:59:31,600 --> 01:59:32,720
[James] Mayday.

2120
01:59:33,440 --> 01:59:34,880
[James] Bollocks.

2121
01:59:35,360 --> 01:59:36,840
[Jeremy] Full reverse.

2122
01:59:37,720 --> 01:59:41,200
Oh! No, you...

2123
01:59:42,160 --> 01:59:43,480
[engine revving]

2124
01:59:43,640 --> 01:59:44,720
Argh.

2125
01:59:46,440 --> 01:59:48,120
We've built pedalos, haven't we?

2126
01:59:48,280 --> 01:59:51,680
[Jeremy] <i>Yeah, but with great brand names
on the back.</i>

2127
01:59:52,840 --> 01:59:56,400
[Jeremy] <i>For the next hour, we sailed
around, managing to go everywhere,</i>

2128
01:59:57,080 --> 02:00:00,120
<i>except the beach we were headed for.</i>

2129
02:00:00,280 --> 02:00:04,680
I'm drifting sideways in the wrong
direction, is what I'm doing.

2130
02:00:05,360 --> 02:00:08,720
[Richard] <i>What I've done is two enormous
U-turns.</i>

2131
02:00:09,360 --> 02:00:12,240
[James] <i>The locals think we're deranged.</i>

2132
02:00:15,320 --> 02:00:17,840
It's taking me back to Mauritania.

2133
02:00:18,040 --> 02:00:19,480
I don't want to go back to Mauritania.

2134
02:00:20,120 --> 02:00:23,320
[James] <i>Can anybody tell me what's down
here, because that's where I'm going.</i>

2135
02:00:24,000 --> 02:00:25,200
The sea.

2136
02:00:25,400 --> 02:00:29,480
[Jeremy] I'm completely stuck in a corner
with walls on two sides of me.

2137
02:00:30,200 --> 02:00:32,640
Turn, you bastard, turn.

2138
02:00:34,400 --> 02:00:35,720
I love the way she's just doing
her washing,

2139
02:00:35,880 --> 02:00:38,480
as though this happens every single day.

2140
02:00:40,200 --> 02:00:42,200
[James] Oh, bloody hell, no.
Oh no.

2141
02:00:42,400 --> 02:00:43,360
Oh, my God.

2142
02:00:45,040 --> 02:00:46,640
[Richard] Stop crashing into me!

2143
02:00:47,440 --> 02:00:49,440
I'm back in the reeds!

2144
02:00:50,120 --> 02:00:52,080
[Richard] <i>Has anybody managed to go
the right way at any point?</i>

2145
02:00:52,280 --> 02:00:53,800
No.

2146
02:00:55,040 --> 02:00:58,120
[Jeremy] <i>Having freed myself
from the reeds again,</i>

2147
02:00:58,320 --> 02:01:02,280
<i>I made an important
steering-related discovery.</i>

2148
02:01:02,440 --> 02:01:06,320
If you go incredibly slowly,
I mean, tick over, OK,

2149
02:01:06,520 --> 02:01:08,520
you can turn right.

2150
02:01:08,720 --> 02:01:11,720
If you increase speed, you go left.

2151
02:01:11,920 --> 02:01:13,960
[epic music]

2152
02:01:19,800 --> 02:01:22,200
[Jeremy] <i>With all of us deploying
my new discovery,</i>

2153
02:01:22,360 --> 02:01:26,000
<i>we were soon heading
in the right direction.</i>

2154
02:01:28,640 --> 02:01:29,600
[Richard] Oh, yes!

2155
02:01:30,360 --> 02:01:34,200
[James] I am going to do it.
I am heading for the shore.

2156
02:01:34,960 --> 02:01:37,000
[Jeremy] Drive, drive!

2157
02:01:38,360 --> 02:01:40,720
[Jeremy] I can smell beer!

2158
02:01:41,440 --> 02:01:46,120
[Jeremy] <i>Being intelligent, I knew I'd
need a big burst of power to get ashore.</i>

2159
02:01:46,960 --> 02:01:51,720
<i>So I raised my roof to protect my head
from the parasites.</i>

2160
02:01:56,120 --> 02:01:58,640
[music continues]

2161
02:01:58,800 --> 02:01:59,600
Well done.

2162
02:02:07,840 --> 02:02:09,840
[Richard] I'm so nearly there!

2163
02:02:10,720 --> 02:02:12,640
Please, just for once, go left.

2164
02:02:16,360 --> 02:02:18,240
[Richard] Oh, I've hit the bank.

2165
02:02:18,520 --> 02:02:20,960
[James] <i>Our front wheels are in Senegal,
does that count?</i>

2166
02:02:22,280 --> 02:02:25,640
[Jeremy] <i>Oh, I think we're definitely
in Senegal, yeah, I think we've arrived.</i>

2167
02:02:25,800 --> 02:02:27,040
[Richard] Wha-ha-ha!

2168
02:02:29,800 --> 02:02:30,640
Obviously, there is work to be done

2169
02:02:30,800 --> 02:02:34,120
returning these to be normal
land-based vehicles,

2170
02:02:34,280 --> 02:02:37,480
but there's something more
important to attend to first.

2171
02:02:38,080 --> 02:02:39,360
[cutting off contact]

2172
02:02:39,560 --> 02:02:41,760
[soft melodic music]

2173
02:02:52,240 --> 02:02:53,680
[Jeremy] You two are different to me.

2174
02:02:53,840 --> 02:02:59,360
I look at that and I just think,
"Oh, what an invention!"

2175
02:03:00,680 --> 02:03:03,480
Now, looking at it, savouring it,

2176
02:03:04,360 --> 02:03:07,680
is as enjoyable as drinking it.

2177
02:03:09,640 --> 02:03:13,520
Look at the condensation
on the glass, look at the bubbles,

2178
02:03:13,680 --> 02:03:16,880
look at the...
Savour the anticipation.

2179
02:03:17,080 --> 02:03:17,880
[Richard] Mm-hm.

2180
02:03:18,040 --> 02:03:20,120
[Jeremy] Because in my mind,
it's as good.

2181
02:03:20,280 --> 02:03:24,120
Visually, this is a good experience.
Aurally, it's annoying.

2182
02:03:24,600 --> 02:03:25,400
It's annoying?

2183
02:03:25,560 --> 02:03:29,640
I'm just seeing beauty,
hearing bollocks.

2184
02:03:29,800 --> 02:03:31,480
[Jeremy chuckles]

2185
02:03:32,920 --> 02:03:35,800
[Jeremy] <i>Obviously, we decided to have
more than one.</i>

2186
02:03:36,520 --> 02:03:39,240
<i>So, as Hammond was getting
the next round in,</i>

2187
02:03:39,400 --> 02:03:41,200
<i>I slipped out to his car</i>

2188
02:03:41,360 --> 02:03:44,960
<i>for a bit of Terminator-based mischief.</i>

2189
02:03:45,840 --> 02:03:49,480
[Jeremy] If I Bluetooth my phone
to this speaker

2190
02:03:49,680 --> 02:03:52,000
and hide that in Hammond's car,

2191
02:03:52,160 --> 02:03:57,160
I can play messages to him and
he'll think his car is talking to him.

2192
02:03:59,640 --> 02:04:01,800
[soft music]

2193
02:04:18,680 --> 02:04:22,640
[Jeremy] <i>The next morning, we reconvened
to continue our journey.</i>

2194
02:04:24,000 --> 02:04:25,440
Right.

2195
02:04:30,240 --> 02:04:33,320
[robotic voice] <i>Get out. Get out.</i>

2196
02:04:35,360 --> 02:04:38,320
- What the hell was that?
- My car just told me to get out.

2197
02:04:39,040 --> 02:04:41,080
- No.
- It told me to get out.

2198
02:04:41,720 --> 02:04:44,080
I must admit, I'd tell you to get out
if I was that car, but...

2199
02:04:44,240 --> 02:04:45,960
- [robotic voice] <i>Get out.</i>
- Do you hear that?

2200
02:04:46,120 --> 02:04:47,920
[James] I did hear that.

2201
02:04:48,480 --> 02:04:49,680
[Jeremy] Well, that is weird, isn't it?

2202
02:04:50,600 --> 02:04:52,160
Were you in its computer
the other night?

2203
02:04:52,320 --> 02:04:53,680
- Yes.
- That's what's gone wrong.

2204
02:04:53,880 --> 02:04:56,040
I was deeply intimate with it.

2205
02:04:56,200 --> 02:04:57,080
[Jeremy] Anyway, forwards.

2206
02:04:59,480 --> 02:05:00,760
[Richard] I knew it!

2207
02:05:01,960 --> 02:05:03,280
[Richard] Child.

2208
02:05:03,720 --> 02:05:05,640
[soft music]

2209
02:05:08,000 --> 02:05:11,080
- [children shouting happily]
- Hello, hello. <i>Bonjour. Bonjour.</i>

2210
02:05:11,640 --> 02:05:13,040
<i>Bonjour.</i>

2211
02:05:13,240 --> 02:05:15,560
- [children shouting happily]
- [Jeremy] <i>Bonjour.</i>

2212
02:05:16,800 --> 02:05:19,600
Senegal. Helluva welcome.

2213
02:05:23,360 --> 02:05:27,120
[Jeremy] <i>We were now just a couple
of hundred easy miles to the finish line</i>

2214
02:05:27,280 --> 02:05:28,320
<i>in Dakar.</i>

2215
02:05:31,480 --> 02:05:34,280
<i>And with our epic trip
this close to the end,</i>

2216
02:05:34,440 --> 02:05:37,600
<i>it seemed like a good time
to reflect on the machines</i>

2217
02:05:38,760 --> 02:05:40,080
<i>that had brought us here.</i>

2218
02:05:40,280 --> 02:05:41,760
[music continues]

2219
02:06:04,400 --> 02:06:05,880
[Jeremy] We asked at the beginning
of this show

2220
02:06:06,080 --> 02:06:13,080
if it would be possible to build
a rally-raid Dakar desert racer car

2221
02:06:13,240 --> 02:06:17,160
for less than
a Lamborghini Huracán Sterrato.

2222
02:06:18,080 --> 02:06:21,120
And the answer is yes.

2223
02:06:22,720 --> 02:06:24,040
Yes.

2224
02:06:24,240 --> 02:06:26,680
[engine revving]

2225
02:06:30,080 --> 02:06:33,440
I'm staggered by this car.
Absolutely staggered,

2226
02:06:33,600 --> 02:06:37,280
'cause it's clawed its way up
rocky escarpments,

2227
02:06:37,440 --> 02:06:42,080
it's been across rivers,
it's blasted across dunes.

2228
02:06:42,760 --> 02:06:45,480
And unlike the Aston,
which is possessed by the devil,

2229
02:06:45,640 --> 02:06:49,480
and the Maserati, which,
under the skin, is falling to pieces,

2230
02:06:50,640 --> 02:06:54,360
this has not put a single foot wrong.

2231
02:06:58,080 --> 02:07:00,800
I've been fond of cars we've used
on these adventures in the past,

2232
02:07:01,000 --> 02:07:04,120
but nothing like as fond as I am of this.

2233
02:07:05,800 --> 02:07:09,000
I'm going to miss it badly
when I get to Dakar.

2234
02:07:09,200 --> 02:07:11,760
Really, really miss it.

2235
02:07:14,200 --> 02:07:16,840
[lively music]

2236
02:07:18,600 --> 02:07:21,240
[James] Now, if I'd said to you
at the beginning "I'm going to take

2237
02:07:21,440 --> 02:07:24,760
"an exotic car
from a small-volume Italian manufacturer

2238
02:07:24,920 --> 02:07:27,920
"and I'm going to modify it and
I'm going to drive it across the desert,"

2239
02:07:28,880 --> 02:07:30,880
you'd have probably said,
"No, you're not."

2240
02:07:32,600 --> 02:07:34,360
But here we are.

2241
02:07:34,560 --> 02:07:35,840
It's here!

2242
02:07:36,560 --> 02:07:37,760
On the way to Dakar,

2243
02:07:37,960 --> 02:07:42,120
the finishing point for the most dramatic
and gruelling race in the world.

2244
02:07:43,360 --> 02:07:46,760
And let's not forget, mine is by far
the best-looking of the three cars,

2245
02:07:46,920 --> 02:07:49,520
and mine is the only one
that looks better now

2246
02:07:49,680 --> 02:07:51,560
than it did when it was standard.

2247
02:07:51,760 --> 02:07:54,240
I've actually improved the original.

2248
02:07:55,080 --> 02:07:56,400
Winner!

2249
02:07:57,920 --> 02:07:59,600
[soft music]

2250
02:08:03,240 --> 02:08:06,680
Now, you might imagine I'd struggle
to mount a convincing argument

2251
02:08:06,840 --> 02:08:09,760
that I've improved
my Aston Martin DB9 Volante

2252
02:08:09,920 --> 02:08:13,520
by turning it into a rally racer,
but hold on.

2253
02:08:13,680 --> 02:08:18,160
If I hadn't done that, this car,
left unchanged, would have simply...

2254
02:08:18,320 --> 02:08:20,200
continued living in Peterborough,

2255
02:08:20,360 --> 02:08:23,400
commuting between suburban home

2256
02:08:23,600 --> 02:08:25,680
and a middle-sized trading estate.

2257
02:08:25,840 --> 02:08:27,560
With the odd trip out to the golf club
at weekends.

2258
02:08:27,720 --> 02:08:30,680
It would have stayed shiny and nice,
but it would have become what it is,

2259
02:08:30,880 --> 02:08:33,440
which is a slightly outdated,
slowly fading example

2260
02:08:33,640 --> 02:08:36,080
of a once-grand grand tourer.

2261
02:08:37,600 --> 02:08:39,160
By doing what I've done to it,

2262
02:08:39,320 --> 02:08:43,200
I've been able to bring it out here
to do something incredible.

2263
02:08:43,960 --> 02:08:46,440
And those experiences are now written
across it

2264
02:08:46,600 --> 02:08:49,760
in scuffs and scrapes
and dents and cracks.

2265
02:08:49,920 --> 02:08:54,640
They are its lifelines,
its laughter-lines on it.

2266
02:08:55,280 --> 02:08:57,120
And I love it.

2267
02:08:57,280 --> 02:09:00,240
I made it special.
It wasn't special. Now it is.

2268
02:09:04,240 --> 02:09:05,800
[soft music]

2269
02:09:20,800 --> 02:09:25,280
[Jeremy] <i>We hit the coast in
the surprisingly pretty town of St Louis</i>

2270
02:09:26,320 --> 02:09:30,640
<i>and turned south, running parallel
with the Atlantic Ocean.</i>

2271
02:09:33,120 --> 02:09:35,080
<i>Which gave me an idea.</i>

2272
02:09:36,160 --> 02:09:40,520
Why don't we go into Dakar
on the beach, like they used to?

2273
02:09:41,800 --> 02:09:45,040
On the rally?
It was finished on the beach.

2274
02:09:45,880 --> 02:09:47,000
Yes!

2275
02:09:49,000 --> 02:09:52,800
[Jeremy] <i>Naturally, my colleagues
had no objections whatsoever.</i>

2276
02:09:54,960 --> 02:09:59,400
<i>So we turned onto the sand
to complete the last 70 miles,</i>

2277
02:09:59,800 --> 02:10:03,240
<i>just as the races of the past had done.</i>

2278
02:10:03,800 --> 02:10:06,680
[emotional music]

2279
02:10:26,200 --> 02:10:27,760
Supercharger engaged.

2280
02:10:27,960 --> 02:10:29,840
[engine revving]

2281
02:10:34,480 --> 02:10:36,800
[epic music]

2282
02:10:37,960 --> 02:10:38,760
Look at that!

2283
02:10:40,440 --> 02:10:43,200
Paris-Dakar! This is the finish!

2284
02:10:52,520 --> 02:10:54,880
It will be for these exact moments
that people

2285
02:10:55,080 --> 02:10:58,920
endured the suffering
and hardship of doing the Paris-Dakar.

2286
02:10:59,120 --> 02:11:00,800
This is what they did it for. This!

2287
02:11:01,000 --> 02:11:02,880
[music continues]

2288
02:11:07,000 --> 02:11:09,560
I'm going to pull alongside
Richard "The Hamster" Hammond.

2289
02:11:12,240 --> 02:11:14,040
Look at this! We're in a poster!

2290
02:11:16,840 --> 02:11:18,480
Oh, thank you!

2291
02:11:25,200 --> 02:11:27,240
[he laughs]

2292
02:11:30,720 --> 02:11:32,840
Never had so much fun!

2293
02:11:33,040 --> 02:11:35,520
[soft emotional music]

2294
02:11:37,160 --> 02:11:40,440
What a wonderful, wonderful day.

2295
02:11:40,600 --> 02:11:41,400
[phone notification sound]

2296
02:11:42,720 --> 02:11:43,920
[Jeremy] Hello.

2297
02:11:44,640 --> 02:11:47,440
Text message from Mr Wilman.

2298
02:11:48,440 --> 02:11:52,800
"Before going into Dakar, you might want
to check your news feeds."

2299
02:11:54,400 --> 02:11:55,480
Really?

2300
02:11:57,800 --> 02:11:59,520
BBC News.

2301
02:12:02,160 --> 02:12:06,160
Climate change, climate change,
climate change.

2302
02:12:07,640 --> 02:12:09,520
Floods, climate change.

2303
02:12:10,040 --> 02:12:11,360
Try Twitter.

2304
02:12:12,240 --> 02:12:13,280
Oh.

2305
02:12:15,840 --> 02:12:18,160
Oh, Christ.

2306
02:12:19,720 --> 02:12:21,360
[Richard] <i>Hang on. Coming.
Why have you stopped?</i>

2307
02:12:25,240 --> 02:12:26,560
Why have you stopped?

2308
02:12:27,560 --> 02:12:30,440
Wilman just said,
"Check your news feeds."

2309
02:12:33,280 --> 02:12:34,320
That's Dakar.

2310
02:12:36,920 --> 02:12:37,880
[Richard] What?

2311
02:12:38,040 --> 02:12:41,680
Dakar. There's proper major riots.

2312
02:12:42,760 --> 02:12:44,400
It's kicked off.

2313
02:12:44,880 --> 02:12:46,280
[James] Oh, geez.

2314
02:12:46,680 --> 02:12:47,960
What's that about?

2315
02:12:48,120 --> 02:12:51,680
[Jeremy] God knows.
It's some political... I don't know.

2316
02:12:51,840 --> 02:12:54,560
- [Richard] There's a lot of...
- [Jeremy] I know there's a lot, it's...

2317
02:12:54,720 --> 02:12:57,880
- [Jeremy] And it's burning buses...
- [James] Oh, God!

2318
02:12:58,080 --> 02:12:59,840
- Have you seen this?
- [technician] No.

2319
02:13:00,480 --> 02:13:01,640
Dakar.

2320
02:13:03,280 --> 02:13:06,080
It's properly kicked off.
There are gun battles.

2321
02:13:06,560 --> 02:13:08,360
[James] And there's fire.
There's a bus on fire.

2322
02:13:08,520 --> 02:13:09,920
[Jeremy] Yeah.

2323
02:13:10,880 --> 02:13:12,920
[Richard] Um... right.

2324
02:13:16,520 --> 02:13:17,880
[technician] You can't take the crew
down there.

2325
02:13:18,040 --> 02:13:20,800
No, I know. Nobody sh--
I don't want anyone going down there.

2326
02:13:21,000 --> 02:13:23,800
I mean, I knew
there were some protests planned,

2327
02:13:23,960 --> 02:13:25,920
but that's about three or four days.

2328
02:13:26,120 --> 02:13:28,680
It's over that opposition,
but it's obviously kicked off early.

2329
02:13:28,840 --> 02:13:30,160
- That's now.
- [Richard] Or this is something else.

2330
02:13:30,320 --> 02:13:32,520
- [Jeremy] It's happening now.
- [Richard] Or it's getting ready to go,

2331
02:13:32,680 --> 02:13:34,880
which means it's going to get worse.

2332
02:13:37,440 --> 02:13:38,240
[James] Wait a minute.

2333
02:13:38,440 --> 02:13:41,200
Our flight home is from Dakar.

2334
02:13:41,360 --> 02:13:42,280
It is.

2335
02:13:43,000 --> 02:13:44,600
- Well, we can't do that.
- It's not an option.

2336
02:13:45,120 --> 02:13:47,600
- [technician] St Louis Airport's closed.
- What?

2337
02:13:47,760 --> 02:13:50,200
- [technician] St Louis Airport's closed.
- It's closed?

2338
02:13:50,400 --> 02:13:53,360
[technician] Closed. Refurbishment.
Checked it.

2339
02:13:58,000 --> 02:14:01,040
That means we've got to drive back
to Nouakchott.

2340
02:14:01,560 --> 02:14:03,280
Seriously? Is that the only option?

2341
02:14:03,480 --> 02:14:04,680
Well, I'm not going to Dakar.

2342
02:14:06,960 --> 02:14:08,240
Come on, it'll be fun.

2343
02:14:08,440 --> 02:14:09,640
It's a there and back rally.

2344
02:14:10,640 --> 02:14:11,440
[Richard] Right, then.

2345
02:14:19,760 --> 02:14:21,160
It does mean one thing.

2346
02:14:22,080 --> 02:14:24,920
- I can use the traditional ending.
- Yes.

2347
02:14:25,080 --> 02:14:28,000
On that terrible disappointment,
it's time to end.

2348
02:14:28,680 --> 02:14:31,440
See you next time.
Thanks for watching.

2349
02:14:31,960 --> 02:14:34,440
F-[beep]-ing hell.

2350
02:14:35,640 --> 02:14:38,040
[lively music]