[***]
My father's not a dick.
He was always there.
Last month, he had to go to New York for a conference.
But he came back two days early
because he didn't want to miss the playoffs.
[***]
[CROWD CHEERS]
[CROWD YELLING, CLAPPING]
Come on. Come on.
Safe!
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
[BALL PINGS OFF BAT]
MATTHEW: Stay inside the ball, son.
Hit through it.
Like that.
And after everything that happened...
I think my father would be proud of me.
[***]
MATTHEW: Okay, I got it.
1977 World Series.
Yankees over Dodgers, four to two.
Yeah. Center field?
Center field: Mickey Rivers.
Left field: Roy White. Right field: Reggie Jackson.
The catcher?
Ah!
[CHUCKLES] Thur...
Oh, Thurman Munson. -Thurman Munson. Very good, very good. Come on.
It's getting late. -You win. -Hunker down.
[ZIPPER RASPS]
What?
Nothing. All good.
Good night, son. I love you.
Dad? -Yeah?
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
Anything?
Yeah.
What's the maximum number of pitches,
not counting foul balls past two strikes
that a pitcher can deliver to a batter
without seeing a new batter come to the plate?
Uh...six.
Wrong, sir. Wrong.
The answer is 11.
Yes, the batter starts out
with a man on first and two outs.
The count goes to three and two,
no counting foul balls past this point.
The pitcher picks off the runner at first, the inning's over.
And the next inning starts where the last inning left off,
with the same pitcher facing the same batter
for another count, which is five pitches.
And then he gets the batter out or not
on the payoff pitch.
[RUMBLING OVERHEAD]
[***]
NEWSCASTER [ON RADIO]: Authorities from the NOAA and NASA have verified
the lights in the sky are actually the result
of a cluster of meteoroids
that cut a swath across the Midwest
from the Canadian border to southern Illinois.
Fireballs followed by sonic booms were reported
near Winoka, Minnesota and on the outskirts of Chicago,
the Illinois State Police are investigating multiple reports
of similar activities and lights in the sky.
You sure you don't want to come in?
[LOUD WHIRRING]
[INDISTINCT ROCK SONG PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Hello.
Hello!
Nasty out there.
Unleaded.
Gonna get some provisions too.
[GAME BEEPING]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[***]
Don't be mad.
What? All they had was...
a bratwurst with mustard.
Super-hot Cheetos. Yoo-hoos.
That's it. No tofu.
No disgusting hairy quinoa salad.
Can you make an exception please?
I guess.
Mom is not gonna be happy.
Nope.
[***]
We missed you.
[GRUNTS]
MOTHER: You guys have a good time?
Yeah, it was awesome.
Awesome.
You should come next time.
Dinner will be ready in a bit.
I'm not hungry.
We might've stopped off for a little healthy snack.
I'm gonna shoot some baskets. Charlie, can--?
How was it?
We survived.
Survival is good.
Let me help you with those.
You see that meteor shower last night?
Yeah, I was up all night.
The neighbor's dog was freaked out.
He ran away. They can't find him.
Which neighbor?
The German Shepherd.
That dog always freaked me out too.
You didn't tell him.
No.
[***]
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
Hey, can you talk?
WOMAN: Dylan, get off that computer right now.
[SIGHS]
Hey, did you brush your teeth?
MOTHER: He has to brush!
You do a good job?
Come on. It's late. Let's go.
Big day tomorrow. Hmm?
CHARLIE: What if I don't make it?
Well, you might.
I don't know. I did the math.
There's only 14 spots for All-Stars,
and there are 15 guys better than me.
And?
I might not.
"It ain't over till it's over."
Yogi Berra. That's right.
Look at him. He wasn't the smartest guy or the fastest guy.
But he had something
that a lot of those better guys didn't have.
He had a big heart.
Just do your best.
But you love watching baseball.
No, I love watching you love baseball.
Okay?
I love you.
I love you too. Lights out.
Dad?
"The future ain't what it used to be."
[***]
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
MOTHER: Why didn't you tell him?
Because I didn't.
[***]
It'll kill him.
You know? Is that what you want?
What do you want?
Maybe I'll move into the garage.
The garage?
At least I'd be around here.
What are we gonna do?
[LOUD CLATTER]
Shit.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[OBJECTS CLATTER]
[***]
Hey.
[WHIMPERS] You're a very strange dog.
Come on. Go home.
Get.
[RUMBLING OVERHEAD]
[***]
[THUNDER CRASHES]
[ALARM BEEPS]
[***]
* I was holding onto you
CHARLIE: Did you do it? Did it work?
Yes.
CHARLIE: I don't know how you put up with your brother.
Henry is such an asshole.
Hey.
Did you guys hear about Della Holleb?
No. She's been sexting
with Randy Thall.
She sent him pictures of her in a bathing suit.
Yeah, so what? She has boobs.
She went to sleep away camp at Chipinaw
and came back with big ones.
Yeah, that kind of stuff happens in Wisconsin.
It's the land of boobs.
True. My cousin lives in Milwaukee.
Even he has them.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
What's going on? Where is everybody?
Three-day weekend?
That's not fair.
Maybe I'm gonna be sick tomorrow.
Maybe we're all gonna be sick tomorrow.
[DOOR OPENS]
TEACHER: Pass up your weekend assignments.
[***]
The Viking age is the period
from the late eighth to the mid-11th century.
And although the Vikings were seen as brutal raiders,
many historical documents suggest
that their invasion was a retaliation
in response to the violence from Christians
toward pagan peoples.
You guys wanna hang out after school?
[WHISPERS] I can't. I got to be home.
Kind of nervous about All-Stars.
TEACHER: Mr. Cotrell.
Yeah? 1066.
1066?
Yes.
The year the English beat the Vikings against all odds
and sent them back to their own home
in just the remaining 24 of the 300 long ships.
Precisely, Mr. Cotrell. Precisely.
It was called the Battle of Stamford Bridge.
Now, ironically, three weeks later,
the English army was defeated in the Battle of Hastings.
Wash your hands, Charlie.
Mom, I'm not eating. Just drinking.
Homework.
[***]
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
[BEEPING]
I made it.
Surprise.
Where's Dylan?
He's off electronics for a month.
Seems someone fucked up my iPhone alarm,
and I was late for school.
You want me to give him a message?
Actually, I got a message for you.
What?
Tomorrow, I'm gonna catch you
and beat the shit out of you.
[GARAGE DOOR OPENS]
[***]
[KNOCKS ON WINDOW]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
[***]
[LOW RUMBLING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Charlie?
MATTHEW: I am starved.
MOTHER: I didn't know you were joining us.
Is that okay?
[***]
MOTHER: Yes.
Come on, Charlie.
Honey, why don't you go sit down?
You gonna eat standing up?
You know what? I was thinking about Christmas vacation.
It occurred to me,
maybe we should plan a big trip, really get away.
Family time.
What would you think
about the Galapagos Islands?
The Galapagos?
The cradle of life.
You want to go to the Galapagos Islands?
Well, I vaguely remember
you always wanting to go to the Galapagos.
What do you think, Charlie?
Hmm?
The other one.
What, honey?
[***]
Can you pass the quinoa, please?
What's up with him?
[DOOR LOCK CLICKS]
[KNOCKS]
Come on, Charlie.
Open the door.
[DOORKNOB RATTLES]
MATTHEW I don't know why you're acting like this.
Can't we talk about it?
Charlie.
Matthew.
Give him his space.
[***]
[DOG BARKING DISTANTLY]
MOTHER: Thank you.
Thank you?
For trying tonight.
Why wouldn't I try?
Why don't you let me finish this up.
[***]
What are you doing here, dickhead?
Tell me what's going on,
or I'm gonna beat the shit out of you.
Let me get this straight.
Your old man shot rays out of his eyes?
Not my dad, this thing. -This thing that's your old man.
This thing that looks like my dad, yes.
This thing that looks like your dad shot a ray out of his eyes?
Not his eyes. -And ate your dad?
Kind of. I don't know.
Either you saw him eat your old man or you didn't.
I'm not sure what I saw.
Hey, at least you got a father.
Dylan hasn't been the same since our old man left for New York
to pursue "an alternative lifestyle."
Won't say one fucking word, right, Dylan?
[DOOR OPENS] WOMAN: Are you boys down there?
Yes, Mom. WOMAN: Charlie's father is here.
Shitballs.
NEWSCASTER 1 [ON RADIO]: The White House today confirmed--
* Cause I get high
[RAPIDLY CHANGING STATIONS]
NEWSCASTER 2 [ON RADIO]: The second amendment--
[RAPIDLY CHANGING STATIONS]
* But I guess--
[RAPIDLY CHANGING STATIONS]
[***]
[DOORKNOB JIGGLES]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV]
Mom?
Morning, Charlie.
How did you sleep?
I made you breakfast.
I'm not hungry.
Well, people have to eat. It's your favorite.
Pancakes, blueberry.
CHARLIE: I don't like blueberries.
Is that right?
Morning, honey.
Hi. Here's your lunch, sweetheart.
Try not to leave the water bottle at school.
MATTHEW: Did you know Charlie doesn't like blueberries.
MOTHER: Yeah. Mom, can you drive me today?
No, not today, sweetheart. I have clients back to back.
I can take him.
Mom...
please.
[***]
What's going on?
We need to leave here.
What? We need to leave here
and never come back. You're not safe.
Honey-- Mom, I know everything.
I know Dad was thinking about moving out.
I know you weren't happy. Charlie.
There's nothing I want more than for us to go to the Galapagos
and all kinds of places. Okay. Look.
Things are complicated right now.
We're trying to figure it out.
And sometimes it is hard to understand,
and it must make you feel afraid.
But you're not alone.
I'm not afraid of being alone.
Lots of kids see their parents split up.
I'm talking about my father isn't who you think he is.
He's my father, but he's not my father
because my father is a fucking alien.
Charlie.
Enough.
Oh, sorry.
The other.
I hear your dad is a mutant zombie.
Where did you hear that?
Peretti's brother.
His brother told my brother.
You okay?
I mean, you are you, right?
Uh, did he eat your mother's brains?
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[SIREN WAILING DISTANTLY]
I guess Dashiell really did it, huh?
BOY: Hey!
[SIRENS BLARING]
[***]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
What's his name? Philip.
Hey, Philip.
Look, I know you feel you can't go on, but things are gonna get better.
This is only temporary. I want my wife back.
Well, I wish we could bring your wife back.
It wasn't right of her to leave you.
She didn't leave.
She's still there.
But she's not my wife.
Then who is she, Philip?
She's someone. She's--
She's something else.
Okay, look, we can figure this out. Just--
Just let me help you.
I want you to step off the ledge, sir.
Step off the ledge, sir.
PRINCIPAL [OVER P.A.]: Today has been a difficult day.
But just know your teachers and the administration will be here all week.
We are here for you.
Man, Dashiell's gonna be pissed that he ditched and missed all this shit.
You wanna go to Superdawg? No.
In the meantime, we will be dismissing school by grades.
And your parents have been notified to pick you up.
For all bus riders,
continue down the stairs.
[***]
I thought we could play some ball.
[***]
Charlie, do you know why they call third base "the hot corner"?
I know what you are.
Wrong, sir.
Wrong.
It's because when the ball is hit hard to left-field
and the runner takes off at a rate of 26 feet per second,
the third baseman has, at most, three, maybe four seconds
to get the ball from third to first.
With that short a margin of error
and the need for superior reflexes,
third base is the toughest position in baseball.
Charlie...
can you imagine what it's like
watching your world disappear?
Wandering the universe and star-winds
with no chance to be with your other?
No chance at progeny? No chance of a real tomorrow?
It sucks.
But I'm alive now.
I'm here, and it feels right.
And soon, Charlie, you're gonna be ready.
You're gonna have a chance to join us.
To become a more perfect version of yourself.
I will never be like you!
I've been learning a lot the last couple of days
as I've gotten stronger.
Facts.
Trivia.
Stuff, the whole history of your kind.
And it wasn't always pretty, was it?
But with everything I suck up,
with everything I breath in,
I keep coming back to one perplexing,
undeniable conundrum.
And, I mean, it's baffling me, Charlie.
Half the modern baseball players bat left-handed.
So why isn't first base the hot corner too?
Ugh!
[SONG PLAYING INDISTINCTLY OVER JUKEBOX]
I need to talk to someone about my father.
[TRAIN PASSING]
[***]
What are we waiting for?
Someone who will know what to do about this.
Your boss?
MAN: What's your name? CHARLIE: Charlie.
Charlie.
Hello.
His father isn't his father.
WOMAN: I'm Detective Fernandez.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES] Nancy.
You wanna tell me about it?
Something's going on.
Something terrible.
Did your father do something to you?
No, but...
he's not my father.
It's important to tell the truth.
My father's been replaced.
"Replaced"?
He looks like my father, but he's not.
Who is he?
A monster.
And where did this monster come from?
I don't know, but it's not just him.
It was the neighbors and the mailman and the UPS man.
Charlie. But it's not just here.
There are people all over with the same story.
I understand, Charlie.
You're not the first person to report
that there's something going on.
How did you know my name was Charlie?
Excuse me one second.
[CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[TRAIN PASSING]
What do you want to do with him?
We're gonna do what we gotta do.
[***]
[MOUTHING] Help me.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
Dickhead.
HENRY'S MOTHER: Who is it, Henry?
Dylan's little friend. What do you want?
I need help.
You better not be bullshitting us.
CHARLIE: It was here.
Okay. No, really, it was here.
Today is trash Tuesday, dickface.
[***]
I'm sorry, Charlie. You were right.
HENRY: I don't get it. How does it work?
I don't know. I'm not a scientist.
All I know is that it's spreading.
I wonder if Bob Shulvock is one of--
Shh!
He's got three nipples.
Shulvock has always had three nipples.
Yeah, but maybe it was part of an advance team.
[YAWNS]
I'm worried about him.
MATTHEW: He's fine.
Playing with his friends in the neighborhood.
It's not the first time he's forgotten about the time, is it?
Let's give it an hour. If he doesn't show up,
we'll drive around the neighborhood.
I've almost forgotten what this is like.
That thing's here to try to bone your mom.
CHARLIE: We need to save her.
We need to get him away from her.
How do we know she's not like him?
She's not.
Yeah, but how do we know?
Because she still smells like my mom.
Yeah, but-- She keeps telling me
to pick up my clothes.
Okay. She's your mom.
[DOOR CREAKS]
Okay. Let's do this.
[FLASHLIGHT'S CLICK]
[SLOW SONG PLAYING SOFTLY]
* It makes no difference Where I turn *
* I can't get over you And the flame still burns *
* It makes no diff--
[***]
Time's up, Charlie.
I think I'm ready.
But I'm really scared.
You don't have to be afraid.
I told you, this is a real opportunity for you.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Nice try, Charlie.
[***]
You lied to me, Charlie. -Let him go!
Oh! [GASPS]
Run!
[***]
Fuck.
[GRUNTS]
I know you're here, Charlie.
There's no use in hiding.
You're only making it more difficult.
[***]
She's beautiful, isn't she?
Leave us alone.
Charlie, your mother and I will always love you.
And I will never leave you.
It'll be a lot easier if you stop fighting.
But you're not him.
[***]
[GROANS]
Yeah!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
What the hell is that?
Gotcha.
[***]
[SCREAMS]
CHARLIE: My best friend's brother Henry calls them "dickheads from space."
You okay?
CHARLIE: I don't know where they come from,
or what they want, but they have no right to mess up our world.
My father used to tell me that
what made a person is the insides.
That it's the insides that matter the most.
Charlie. [DOOR CLOSES]
What happened to you?
And when I would look in my father's eyes,
I could tell what kind of a man he was.
Where's your father?
A good man.
CHARLIE: I took care of it, Mom.
I took care of everything.
We'll fight them in our homes, and we'll fight them in our schools.
We will never stop fighting, and neither should you.
I think my father would be proud of me.
[STATIC CRACKLES]
[***]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[***]
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