1 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:11,343 - Oh. Peace be with you. - Yeah, you, too. 2 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,260 Thank you. 3 00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:13,673 - Peace be with you. - Peace be with you. 4 00:00:13,697 --> 00:00:15,197 And also with you. 5 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,381 Peace be with you. 6 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,811 - And also with you. - Peace be with you. 7 00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:19,317 Peace be with you. 8 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,314 - Peace be with you. - And also with you. 9 00:00:21,338 --> 00:00:22,170 Peace be with you. 10 00:00:22,205 --> 00:00:23,338 And also with you. 11 00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:25,107 Let us pray. 12 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,432 Our Father, 13 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,350 Who art in Heaven, 14 00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:37,652 hallowed be Thy name. 15 00:00:37,688 --> 00:00:39,621 Thy Kingdom come, 16 00:00:39,656 --> 00:00:42,057 Thy will be done on Earth 17 00:00:42,092 --> 00:00:43,558 as it is in Heaven. 18 00:00:43,593 --> 00:00:45,727 Give us this day our daily bread, 19 00:00:45,763 --> 00:00:48,429 and forgive us our trespasses 20 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:52,317 as we forgive those who trespass against us, 21 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:56,588 and lead us not into temptation, 22 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,290 but deliver us from evil. 23 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,728 Amen. 24 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,666 Rooted, grafted 25 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:11,437 Built on Thee. 26 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,833 Please be seated. 27 00:01:12,857 --> 00:01:14,355 And also with you. 28 00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:23,848 Um... 29 00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:25,417 Sorry, uh... 30 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,453 Uh, yes, today's, um... 31 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,557 Uh, uh, today's notices. 32 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,260 There's a raffle, um, at tomorrow's fete 33 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:39,181 to raise funds for the, uh... uh, t... Uh, excuse... 34 00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,633 I'm sorry. The diocesan pilgrimage to Lourdes. 35 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:45,471 Uh, congratulations to St. Ethelred's football club. 36 00:01:46,891 --> 00:01:48,390 3-1 victory. 37 00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:50,303 Uh, next Friday is a First Friday, 38 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,372 and I'm going to be making my usual sick calls 39 00:01:52,396 --> 00:01:55,380 to the housebound with the Eucharist. 40 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,633 And finally, on Thursday, I'm going to begin 41 00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:00,702 H-Holy Communion preparation classes. 42 00:02:00,738 --> 00:02:03,739 And there are more details of that in the parish newsletter 43 00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:06,258 along with my latest review. 44 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,744 That's all, folks. 45 00:02:08,779 --> 00:02:11,379 Uh, please stand for God's blessing. 46 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,260 - Thanks so much. All the best. - Thank you, Father. 47 00:02:14,284 --> 00:02:15,862 Sure. See you next week. All the best. 48 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,219 - Really good one, Father. - Nice to see you, Gina. 49 00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:20,294 Loved the story about your eye. 50 00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:21,834 Oh, yes. Stop, stop. Off you go. 51 00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:23,570 Give my regards to those budgies. 52 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,629 - Hello. - Hi. 53 00:02:27,665 --> 00:02:30,331 - This is lovely. - Oh, thank you. Thank you. 54 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,912 I thought you'd be in prison by now. 55 00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:34,368 Oh, well, I keep trying, but they just won't have me. 56 00:02:35,672 --> 00:02:36,504 I'm sorry about your eye. 57 00:02:36,539 --> 00:02:38,940 Oh, that's okay. Gives me some edge. 58 00:02:38,976 --> 00:02:41,226 I've told them some heroic bullshit. 59 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,360 Ah, bless you, Sandy. 60 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,873 - Thank you, Father. - Bless you. 61 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,897 - Get well. - Thank you. 62 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,843 - Bye, now. Have a nice day. - Thank you, bye-bye. 63 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,379 - God bless you. - Bye. See you next week. 64 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,602 Bless you. 65 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,583 I just wanted to, uh, pay you back for dinner. 66 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:54,651 - Oh, no. - Because I... 67 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:55,373 - Thank you. Honestly. - No, no, really. I insist. 68 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,208 It'll have to be in installments. 69 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,276 I don't want it. I've got no pockets. 70 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,244 But I really... I just, I... 71 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,290 Honestly, thank you. 72 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,179 - Okay. - Ah, ah, ah! 73 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,892 I'm going to knife the candles, Father. 74 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,482 They're a bit clogged up. 75 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,418 - Okay, Pam. - Yeah. 76 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,631 Well, the-the hair dryer is in the, in the wonky drawer. 77 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,922 Under the wonky drawer. Yes, I know. 78 00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,502 - Hello, love. - Hi. 79 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,304 Oh, is that for the collection? How sweet. 80 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,228 How kind. Thank you. 81 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,231 That's Pam. 82 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,285 Do you like tea? 83 00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:35,530 Jesus? 84 00:03:43,406 --> 00:03:44,886 - Tea. - Great. 85 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,527 I don't want to boast, 86 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,939 but I make a cracking... Oh! 87 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,779 - Bastard! Sorry! - Oh. 88 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,259 - Bastard! - Um... 89 00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,163 Let me just, let me just get this. 90 00:03:55,919 --> 00:03:57,385 Okay. Oh, dear. 91 00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:58,437 Oh, is that holy? 92 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,972 A bit less than it was before. 93 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,874 Shit. Uh... 94 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,477 Oh, well. 95 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,574 He'll understand. He's an understanding sort. 96 00:04:07,598 --> 00:04:09,998 Okay. 97 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,552 There you go. 98 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,320 Sorry about all the tat. 99 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:18,290 It's for a fund-raiser garden party thing tomorrow. 100 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,019 So much stuff. Absolutely no staff. 101 00:04:20,043 --> 00:04:22,276 You can volunteer if you want. 102 00:04:22,312 --> 00:04:22,977 Ah. 103 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,025 - I'm only joking. - Oh. 104 00:04:25,049 --> 00:04:27,782 - Probably got a life. Oh. - Mm. 105 00:04:27,817 --> 00:04:29,329 - What's the time? - Um... 106 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,585 Do you want a proper drink? 107 00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:33,922 I've got cans of G&T from M&S. 108 00:04:33,957 --> 00:04:36,391 - Well, it's... - I will if you will. 109 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:37,954 Okay. 110 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,618 Okay. 111 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:42,547 Yeah. 112 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:49,604 Thanks. 113 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,023 So, you're a cool priest, are you? 114 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,390 - A cool priest? - Yeah. 115 00:04:58,414 --> 00:04:59,859 No, I'm a big reader with no friends. 116 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,049 Are you a cool person? 117 00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:02,000 Oh, I'm a pretty normal person. 118 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,980 - A normal person. - Yeah, a normal person. 119 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,564 - What makes you a normal person? - Well, I don't believe in God. 120 00:05:12,495 --> 00:05:13,928 I love it when He does that. 121 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,422 So, you were in my prayers last night. 122 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,840 Likewise. 123 00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:27,359 I'm sorry for your loss. 124 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,795 What? 125 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,862 Your baby. 126 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,900 Oh. Yeah, thank you. 127 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:39,438 Thank you. Yes. I, uh... 128 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,356 I'm... Thank you. 129 00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:43,391 Is the father all right? 130 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,894 Well, he's... He doesn't really... 131 00:05:47,898 --> 00:05:49,080 exist. 132 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:52,533 I understand. 133 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,705 The funeral liturgy says 134 00:05:57,741 --> 00:06:00,976 that life is changed, not ended. 135 00:06:04,148 --> 00:06:06,698 I've always loved that, if that's of any help. 136 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:09,100 No. Thank you very much, but I really am an atheist. 137 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,180 Yeah, I gathered that by the smelling of the Bible. 138 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,088 Oh. 139 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,591 New sermon? 140 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,994 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's, uh... I-I write, 141 00:06:19,029 --> 00:06:21,396 uh, restaurant reviews 142 00:06:21,431 --> 00:06:22,597 for the parish magazine. 143 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,959 I was just finishing up the last one. 144 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,828 I actually just came up with a really good title. 145 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,019 Oh, what is it? 146 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,055 No. 147 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,650 - What? - No, it's not cool. 148 00:06:30,674 --> 00:06:31,856 Well, neither are we, so... 149 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,675 "I'd spend 40 days and 40 nights in that dessert." 150 00:06:38,681 --> 00:06:40,081 Oh, God, I fancy a priest. 151 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,806 Okay. Thanks. 152 00:07:25,795 --> 00:07:26,861 Hey. 153 00:07:26,897 --> 00:07:28,913 Are you having an event? 154 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:29,981 No. 155 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,650 What? Why are there so many people here? 156 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,230 Well, it's just successful, I guess. 157 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,671 Why is everyone talking to each other? 158 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,851 Oh, it's Chatty Wednesday. If you buy something, 159 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,152 you have to have a chat with someone you don't know. 160 00:07:40,176 --> 00:07:42,443 - What?! - Loneliness pays. 161 00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:45,596 Listen, can we...? 162 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,664 Sure. 163 00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:53,761 - I know you and I haven't... - Have you had a checkup? 164 00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:55,190 Yes. It's-it's fine. 165 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,103 It's really not a big deal. It happens all the time. 166 00:07:57,127 --> 00:07:58,827 - Hello. - No! 167 00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:00,673 - Where are you from? - I'm-I'm not... This isn't... 168 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,630 I'm-I'm not part of this. 169 00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:04,999 I shouldn't have to... I don't want to tell you that. 170 00:08:05,035 --> 00:08:07,902 No. Sorry. No. 171 00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:10,188 Tooting. 172 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,901 She hasn't bought anything yet, Joe. 173 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:15,593 Oh, shit! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 174 00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:18,229 Does Martin know? 175 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,508 You're not supposed to tell anyone for the first 12 weeks. 176 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:20,760 - Well, you can tell the father. - I just haven't told him, okay? 177 00:08:20,784 --> 00:08:23,212 - Okay, well, what does he know? - I don't want to talk about it. 178 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,137 Okay? And I never want anyone to know about it. 179 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,205 You have it. 180 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,002 You're better at dealing with awful things, anyway. 181 00:08:29,026 --> 00:08:30,603 - I don't want it. - Well, you took it, 182 00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,908 and now everyone thinks you have it, so you have it. 183 00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:42,153 What? 184 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,749 They're some pretty funky trainers. 185 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,273 I said I'm fine. 186 00:08:45,309 --> 00:08:46,920 I just really, really don't want anyone 187 00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:49,060 to make a big deal out of this, okay? 188 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,930 Brutal. Just brutal. 189 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,932 - You must feel rotten. - Mm. 190 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,066 Do you feel rotten? 191 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,179 Um, I'd-I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay. 192 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,571 Of course, darling. Come on up. 193 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,316 Claire, get the door, for God's sake. 194 00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,218 Did-did you know who the father was? 195 00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:05,710 Um, you know, I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay. 196 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,178 No, of course, darling. 197 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,762 Here. Here. 198 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,760 I've got a setup I'm very excited about. 199 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,194 - It's going to be very striking. - Cool. 200 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,086 So, Claire, if you just sit here. 201 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,888 That's lovely, and, darling. 202 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:18,167 - Mm-hmm. - Just beside her. 203 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,625 Like that. Lovely. 204 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,827 And actually, if you could just... 205 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,845 That's it. That's it. 206 00:09:24,881 --> 00:09:27,315 - Just a bit. - Oh. 207 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,178 A bit more. Bit more. 208 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,903 There. Perfect. Gorgeous. Yes. 209 00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:37,609 Sorry, no. If you could just... 210 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,524 That's it. Thank you, darling. 211 00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:43,114 - So, um... - She can't not talk about it 212 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,350 - You know, I have six friends... - A lie. 213 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,735 Who've had miscarriages. 214 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:51,038 Five of them never managed to produce a child afterwards. 215 00:09:51,074 --> 00:09:53,658 But the sixth one did, and rather regretted it. 216 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,393 So, I think you've probably done the right thing. 217 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,795 Thank you. 218 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,299 Did you never want them? 219 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,017 Oh, I'm still thinking about it. 220 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,215 Is Dad here? I texted him, but... 221 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,084 - Oh, I saw that. - Oh, so he is here? 222 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,028 Sorry, no. I've got his phone today. 223 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,312 I love that color. 224 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,347 - Which one? - That one. 225 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,865 Oh, that's three colors. 226 00:10:18,668 --> 00:10:21,719 - Right. - I'm getting rid of it. 227 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,132 But it was quite an adventure painting. 228 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,189 I had an orgasm as I finished it. 229 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:26,174 Well, let's hope we all get 230 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,003 as much pleasure out of this one. 231 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:28,960 No, no. Could you... 232 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:32,029 Um, I have a pretty full afternoon, so... 233 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,976 Oh, have you got to go back to Finland again? 234 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,234 - No, Finland are coming here. - Oh. That's easier for you. 235 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,347 Mm. 236 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,082 Are you still okay to pick up the invitations? 237 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,906 Oh, yes, of course. 238 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,352 And did you find that ribbon thing for the flowers? 239 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,042 - Yes. - Great. 240 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,689 And is Martin's nose on the mend? 241 00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:47,662 Yes. 242 00:10:47,697 --> 00:10:49,881 And how's the, uh, bassoon solo coming on? 243 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,361 Oh, yes, he's practicing. 244 00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:53,062 Oh, God, and now I just have to... 245 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:53,902 What? 246 00:10:53,937 --> 00:10:55,448 Sorry, Claire, could you look up, please? 247 00:10:55,472 --> 00:10:56,404 Thank you. 248 00:10:56,439 --> 00:10:58,417 Organize canapés for an awards ceremony. 249 00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:00,708 Oh, gosh, you must be exhausted. 250 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,827 Does the little cafe do canapés? 251 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,428 It totally could, yeah. 252 00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,623 Well, there you are. That's one off the list. 253 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,366 Great. 254 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,839 Gosh, haven't you got a lovely, thick neck. 255 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,355 - That was fun. - Thank you. 256 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,457 Yeah, I really can help with the canapés if it's... 257 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,392 I'm gonna say this quickly. Okay? 258 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,548 Okay. 259 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:25,516 Martin wants to press charges against you for assault. 260 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:27,785 I've tried to talk him down, but to be fair, 261 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,988 - you did hit him fucking hard. - What?! 262 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,168 I will provide you with exceptional legal advice 263 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,936 as long as you don't tell anyone I'm providing you 264 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,905 - with exceptional legal advice. - What? 265 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,078 This is happening. 266 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,047 I am mortified, but it is happening, okay? 267 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,861 I will hire this lawyer to scare him off, 268 00:11:41,885 --> 00:11:43,901 and I will hire you to do the canapés. 269 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:45,870 Who's the lawyer? 270 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,406 Oh, he's a friend. He mainly defends rapists. 271 00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:49,852 He has a high success rate, then? 272 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,277 Oh, undefeated. Come on. 273 00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:54,907 I've filled him in with the basics. 274 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,364 That your husband's an animal? 275 00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:58,366 Be serious. Just do whatever he says. 276 00:11:58,401 --> 00:12:00,100 And don't flirt with him. 277 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,268 I'm not going to f... 278 00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:05,439 Fucking hell. Okay. 279 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,302 - Claire. - David, thank you so much. 280 00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,377 - Oh. Sorry. - Wow. 281 00:12:09,412 --> 00:12:11,846 I can take you to court for that. 282 00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:13,459 This the little troublemaker, then? 283 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,693 - Hi. - Hi. 284 00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:18,385 Now, listen, I just want to be clear that whatever happens, 285 00:12:18,421 --> 00:12:20,501 I don't sleep with people I work with, okay? 286 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,243 Ah! 287 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,278 I'm joking. 288 00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,496 Slip on in, ladies. 289 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:30,381 Well, if you spit guilty, 290 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,361 you'll have to swallow a short jail term, 291 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,063 or community service if you're lucky. 292 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,987 - Or? - You definitely started it? 293 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,466 - Yes. - Any witnesses? 294 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,790 About... 30. 295 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,222 The most important thing, honey, is that you do not, 296 00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:45,057 under any circumstances, apologize. 297 00:12:45,081 --> 00:12:45,747 - I can do that. - No, 298 00:12:45,782 --> 00:12:47,482 that's not what we discussed. 299 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,885 Or that can be taken as an admission of guilt. 300 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,231 I assume you know the victim personally. 301 00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:53,566 - Yes, she... - No. And... 302 00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:55,535 let's not call him "the victim" yet, shall we? 303 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,943 - Well, that's what he is. - Yes. Right. 304 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,140 - They've definitely fucked. - We just want a letter 305 00:13:01,164 --> 00:13:03,843 to scare him off if he ends up seeking proper action. 306 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:04,994 Really doesn't make sense, Claire. 307 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,401 - Actually, maybe not. - I think it makes perfect sense. 308 00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:08,947 I just want to be ahead of the game. 309 00:13:08,971 --> 00:13:09,770 God, I can't tell. 310 00:13:09,805 --> 00:13:11,583 That's a habit of yours, I've heard. 311 00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:13,825 - Oh, I've got it. They haven't. - Is it? 312 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,288 You're gonna have to tell me who said that. 313 00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:16,856 - Never. - But they're going to. 314 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,561 David. 315 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,545 Oh, God, I've got to get out. 316 00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,281 - Claire. - Excuse me. 317 00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:21,460 Where you off to, little lady? 318 00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:24,435 I'm just gonna let this, uh... yeah. 319 00:13:42,371 --> 00:13:43,482 You all right? 320 00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:45,546 Yeah. Just thought I'd leave you to it. 321 00:13:46,976 --> 00:13:48,576 - Sorry. - What? 322 00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:50,589 He says he'll only talk you through potential proceedings 323 00:13:50,613 --> 00:13:52,458 - if you go for a drink with him. - What? 324 00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,926 - I know. - Outrageous. 325 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,594 - Stop smiling. - I thought he was after you. 326 00:13:55,618 --> 00:13:58,519 Oh, so did I, but my hair isn't great at the moment. 327 00:13:58,555 --> 00:14:00,588 Either way, it's very inappropriate. 328 00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,067 - Don't sleep him. - I won't. 329 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,368 - Don't. - I won't! 330 00:14:03,392 --> 00:14:05,960 - I don't do that anymore. - What? 331 00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:07,962 - Why? Are you ill? - No. 332 00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:11,148 - Then what? - Well, I... I... I just... 333 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,995 Oh, my God. Have you met someone? 334 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:16,221 - Well... well, not really. - Back with Harry? 335 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,100 - No, it's actually... well... - Someone new? 336 00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,007 - Is he single? - Sort of. 337 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,028 Take this. 338 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,207 I'll try to talk Martin down, 339 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:28,349 but call him if you need him. He's a very good lawyer. 340 00:14:28,385 --> 00:14:30,885 Surprisingly... 341 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,070 tender underneath it all. 342 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,638 Knew it. 343 00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:37,442 What you did in the restaurant was unforgivable. 344 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,542 I know. 345 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:40,528 Thank you. 346 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:44,315 Okay. Well, I'll, um... 347 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,118 Listen, I actually just wanted to give you this. 348 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,265 It's just one session, but you've been through a lot, 349 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,522 - so I just... - Come on. I said I'm fine. 350 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,292 I'm weirdly fine. 351 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,095 I'd rather have the money. 352 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,216 Excuse me. I've got dry forearms. 353 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,383 Sure. 354 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,032 So why have you come to this session? 355 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,176 Uh, it was a birthday present from my father. 356 00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:28,526 Is that a joke? 357 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,561 No. 358 00:15:32,114 --> 00:15:34,059 It would be good not to make jokes in here, 359 00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:36,484 just in case anything gets 360 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:39,236 lost in humorous translation. 361 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,592 Oh, I don't know if I can do that. 362 00:15:43,158 --> 00:15:44,291 Is that a joke? 363 00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:45,327 No. 364 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:51,648 Well, just try not to, or make it very obvious. 365 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,117 Sure. 366 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,597 So why do you think your father suggested 367 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,170 you come for counseling? 368 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,105 Um, I think because my mother died 369 00:15:58,140 --> 00:15:59,073 and he can't talk about it, 370 00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:00,986 and my sister and I didn't speak for a year 371 00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:02,521 because she thinks I tried to sleep with her husband, 372 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,122 and because I spent most of my adult life 373 00:16:04,146 --> 00:16:05,479 using sex to deflect from 374 00:16:05,514 --> 00:16:07,682 the screaming void inside my empty heart. 375 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,216 I'm good at this. 376 00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:11,251 Although I don't really do that anymore. 377 00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,504 You close with your family? 378 00:16:15,792 --> 00:16:17,658 We get on with it. 379 00:16:17,694 --> 00:16:20,044 - Do you talk? - God, no. 380 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,995 Any friends? 381 00:16:22,031 --> 00:16:23,247 Sorry? 382 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,482 Any friends? 383 00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:28,035 Um... 384 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,137 no, I don't really have time for... 385 00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:32,540 Well, I have a guinea pig, but she blows hot and cold. 386 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,215 Not a joke. 387 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,212 Tell me about the sex. 388 00:16:40,683 --> 00:16:42,099 All of it? 389 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,101 You said you don't do that now. 390 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,670 Oh, no, I just play tennis now. 391 00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:49,490 Tough crowd. 392 00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:52,260 Sorry. 393 00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:54,362 I just... 394 00:16:54,397 --> 00:16:56,097 Sex didn't bring anything... 395 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,415 good, so I'm... 396 00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,750 I'm trying not to... 397 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,686 But I've... 398 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,056 And what have you found in your abstinence? 399 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,491 Well, I'm very horny, and your little scarf isn't helping. 400 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,630 So the impulse is still there. 401 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,031 Oh. 402 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,417 Yeah, the... 403 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,302 The impulse is... 404 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,439 The impulse is v-very much still there. 405 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,354 It's just never the right person. 406 00:17:23,827 --> 00:17:26,260 Mm-hmm. So there is a particular person 407 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,212 you're not having sex with. 408 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,747 No. 409 00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,783 No, well, nothing's happened. I just... 410 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,451 He's not available. 411 00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:37,387 - In a relationship? - Yes. A bad one. 412 00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:38,806 Oh, really? How so? 413 00:17:38,842 --> 00:17:39,807 It's the sort of relationship 414 00:17:39,843 --> 00:17:42,109 where one partner tells the other how to dress. 415 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,477 Are you in love with him? 416 00:17:43,513 --> 00:17:45,529 No. 417 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,348 Why do you find that funny? 418 00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:49,317 Well, I... 419 00:17:49,352 --> 00:17:51,285 I lied. I just... 420 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,837 I don't kn-know. 421 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,405 Just not a romantic? 422 00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:56,873 No. 423 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,675 Just... 424 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,791 a girl with no friends and an empty heart? 425 00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:05,833 By your own description. 426 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,374 I have friends. 427 00:18:13,409 --> 00:18:15,369 Oh. So you do have someone to talk to. 428 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,336 Yeah. 429 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,433 Do you see them a lot? 430 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,879 Oh, they're... 431 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,704 They're always there. They're... 432 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,122 They're always there. 433 00:18:29,158 --> 00:18:30,775 Why do you find that funny? 434 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,187 Listen, I don't need to be analyzed. 435 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,321 I have a nice life. I just... 436 00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:35,696 I just wanted to exchange the voucher for the money. 437 00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:37,682 It's a bit late for that now. 438 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,597 I've only been here five minutes. 439 00:18:42,471 --> 00:18:43,587 I want the money. 440 00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,792 I want to fuck a priest. 441 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,828 - Catholic? - Yes. 442 00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,497 - A good one? - Yes. 443 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,452 - Looks good in the, um... - Mm, yes. 444 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,166 I understand. 445 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,681 Do you really want to fuck the priest 446 00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,371 or do you want to fuck God? 447 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,590 Can you fuck God? 448 00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,391 Oh, yes. 449 00:19:04,427 --> 00:19:07,494 Look, just-just please tell me how to not fuck a priest 450 00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:09,496 before I get arrested. 451 00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:11,242 Well, I don't think fucking a priest will make you 452 00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:13,284 feel as powerful as you think it will. 453 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,868 Can you just tell me what to do? 454 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,270 You know. 455 00:19:17,707 --> 00:19:19,284 You already know what you're going to do. 456 00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:20,858 Everybody does. 457 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:21,842 What? 458 00:19:21,878 --> 00:19:24,412 You've already decided what you're going to do. 459 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:26,691 So what's the point in you? 460 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,515 You know what you're going to do. 461 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,433 No, I don't. - Yes, you do. 462 00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:35,718 - I don't. - You do. 463 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:36,952 - I don't. I don't! - You do. 464 00:19:38,861 --> 00:19:41,228 - Good luck. - Thank you. 465 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,296 Shut up. 466 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,494 Can I have two raffle tickets, please? 467 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,634 Oh, my God. 468 00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:47,868 Oh, my God. Hi. 469 00:19:47,904 --> 00:19:49,854 Hi! You're... 470 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,772 - Yeah. Yes. - With child. Cool. 471 00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,535 - Yeah, you got a fringe. - Yeah. 472 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,709 - Yeah. Cool. - Aw. You always wanted a baby. 473 00:19:55,744 --> 00:19:57,377 You always wanted a fringe. 474 00:19:57,412 --> 00:19:59,480 She is amazing. 475 00:19:59,515 --> 00:20:01,448 I mean, it's been tough but amazing. 476 00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:02,383 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 477 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,362 I mean, the birth really took its toll. 478 00:20:04,386 --> 00:20:05,664 Oh, really? Was it a tricky one? 479 00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:06,731 I can't really remember it now. 480 00:20:06,755 --> 00:20:10,257 But the whole thing has just... really changed me. 481 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,826 I just don't feel... You know, my emotions 482 00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:16,463 are up and down. My body just feels different. 483 00:20:16,498 --> 00:20:18,733 I mean, Elaine is being amazing. 484 00:20:18,768 --> 00:20:19,700 So supportive... 485 00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:21,479 Sounds like you have postnatal depression. 486 00:20:21,503 --> 00:20:23,543 I do. Yeah, but we're working through it. 487 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:26,607 Sure. 488 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,353 Just to let you know, the band is gonna start 489 00:20:28,377 --> 00:20:30,272 - in a couple of minutes. - Hey, Father. 490 00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:31,128 This is Suzie. 491 00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:32,841 Oh, I don't know how to talk to babies. 492 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,466 Sorry. Do you guys know each other? 493 00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,446 - Well, we sort of used to... - Uh, yeah, I used 494 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,298 - to be her girlfriend. - Used to kind of... 495 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,955 Oh, cool. 496 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,891 Good for you. 497 00:20:43,926 --> 00:20:45,637 Well, I'm gonna go and show her the coconuts. 498 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,845 - She's really good at counting. - Okay. 499 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,581 Excuse me, everyone! 500 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:53,817 The youthy band is about to play the ode to something! 501 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,569 You having fun? 502 00:20:55,604 --> 00:20:56,865 - Yes. Yeah. - Selling well? 503 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,800 - Yes, I think so. - Good? Oh, a puzzle! 504 00:20:58,824 --> 00:20:59,757 - Love a puzzle. - Father, the-the youthy band 505 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,337 - are about to... - Yes, I-I heard you, Pam. 506 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,361 Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. 507 00:21:05,981 --> 00:21:07,498 Oh, there's the main event. 508 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,910 - Yeah. - Very talented. 509 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,068 She, um, sh-she... 510 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,738 Don't say it... She-she actually, uh... 511 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,739 Just-just don't say it... 512 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,408 She actually orgasmed when she finished it. 513 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,059 Just said it. Apparently. 514 00:21:19,095 --> 00:21:20,427 Ah. 515 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,932 Well, whatever gets you there. 516 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:28,653 Father! 517 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,821 Father, we have a cupcake situation over here! 518 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,907 Okay, Pam! I will be there to cupcake! 519 00:21:34,610 --> 00:21:36,543 Thank you so much for helping. 520 00:21:36,578 --> 00:21:38,011 Thanks. 521 00:21:42,017 --> 00:21:43,984 Arm touch. 522 00:21:51,127 --> 00:21:53,005 At least my son is in the youthy band. 523 00:21:53,029 --> 00:21:54,773 What's your excuse? 524 00:21:57,366 --> 00:21:58,766 I'm helping the priest. 525 00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:00,545 Wow, you do love a challenge, don't you? 526 00:22:02,537 --> 00:22:03,470 Hey, I just want to say something. 527 00:22:03,505 --> 00:22:05,773 It's from River Island. I got it last week. 528 00:22:05,808 --> 00:22:09,009 No, I want to say that I'm sorry 529 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:10,677 for saying what I said. 530 00:22:10,713 --> 00:22:13,380 I'm sorry for what you went through. 531 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,699 I'm sorry. 532 00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,478 I know what you're doing. I'm not gonna say it. 533 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,952 I'm just saying sorry. 534 00:22:17,987 --> 00:22:19,386 I'm not gonna say it. 535 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:21,021 I'm sorry. 536 00:22:21,057 --> 00:22:22,355 Mm-mm. 537 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:27,010 Okay. 538 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:28,946 And thank you. 539 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,425 She and I have never been better. 540 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:32,416 - Oh. - You had a big part in that. 541 00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:34,585 I'm happy for you. 542 00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:37,721 I'm happy you've found a way to deflect from your 543 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:41,675 pitiful, self-sabotaging, ego-driven, masturbatory... 544 00:22:41,710 --> 00:22:44,111 I cannot believe how well this is coming out... pawing, 545 00:22:44,146 --> 00:22:47,982 insidious... insidious... Overwhelming mediocrity, 546 00:22:48,017 --> 00:22:50,651 only to finally figure out that, at your very core, 547 00:22:50,686 --> 00:22:54,989 you are a... w-weaky. 548 00:22:55,024 --> 00:22:56,390 Damn! 549 00:22:56,425 --> 00:22:58,992 - A weaky? - Damn. Damn. 550 00:22:59,028 --> 00:23:00,994 Wow. A weaky. 551 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:10,504 In that case, I just wanted you to know 552 00:23:10,539 --> 00:23:13,941 that I'm impressed with how you just keep bouncing back. 553 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:16,010 I really am. 554 00:23:16,045 --> 00:23:18,762 You're a... strongy. 555 00:23:20,549 --> 00:23:22,049 That was awesome, man! 556 00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:23,762 Creepy Jake. Mainly says things like... 557 00:23:23,786 --> 00:23:24,684 Where's Claire? 558 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,519 - And... - Where's Claire? 559 00:23:26,555 --> 00:23:27,766 Well, she couldn't make it, man. 560 00:23:27,790 --> 00:23:31,025 Lucky for us, your aunt is an avid churchgoer. 561 00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:32,671 Hi. Thanks for watching. 562 00:23:32,695 --> 00:23:33,777 Oh, you were excellent. 563 00:23:35,464 --> 00:23:36,759 - Oh. - Ooh. 564 00:23:36,783 --> 00:23:38,682 Careful there, buddy. 565 00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:41,118 You could go down for that sort of behavior these days. 566 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,193 - It was just a hug. - "It was just a hug." 567 00:23:43,222 --> 00:23:45,234 You got to do better than that these days, boy, 568 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,068 especially around this firecracker. 569 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,892 - But I didn't do... - Come on. 570 00:23:50,146 --> 00:23:52,612 I don't want to be an asshole. 571 00:23:52,648 --> 00:23:54,614 I just want her to be happy. 572 00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:58,485 And she has been really happy. 573 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:01,071 Until she saw you. 574 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,889 Just saying. 575 00:24:02,925 --> 00:24:03,957 Ow. 576 00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:17,688 Psst. 577 00:24:17,723 --> 00:24:19,806 Hi, Jake. Oh. 578 00:24:19,842 --> 00:24:22,926 Tell her to leave him. 579 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,795 What? 580 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,847 Tell her... 581 00:24:26,882 --> 00:24:28,782 to leave him. 582 00:24:38,594 --> 00:24:39,960 He's gonna kill someone one day. 583 00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:45,532 Hey. 584 00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:47,551 Yes, Father. Yes, Father? 585 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:49,587 I can't believe I'm saying this, but... 586 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:51,705 - Oh, God. - Can I get that coconut back? 587 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:53,657 They're actually on hire. 588 00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:54,853 Uh, I'm not sure if a lot of them 589 00:24:54,877 --> 00:24:57,088 are even real actually, which is morally a bit dubious. 590 00:24:57,112 --> 00:24:59,274 But we got to make money somehow. Sorry. Thank you. 591 00:24:59,298 --> 00:25:00,197 Oh. 592 00:25:00,232 --> 00:25:01,131 - Thanks. - Knuckle brush. 593 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:04,668 Uh, also, I hope you don't mind, but, um... 594 00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:07,671 I've marked a few pages in here 595 00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:09,751 - that I thought might be... - Oh, I... 596 00:25:09,775 --> 00:25:12,809 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not trying to... 597 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:15,045 They're just words. 598 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,548 Okay, it's just I-I think I know what happens. 599 00:25:19,151 --> 00:25:20,517 Classic. 600 00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:23,520 Oh, have a read. 601 00:25:26,341 --> 00:25:28,625 I'd like to know what you think. 602 00:25:28,661 --> 00:25:30,561 And if you ever want to... 603 00:25:30,596 --> 00:25:32,763 uh, talk about stuff, I'm here. 604 00:25:32,798 --> 00:25:34,665 With a G&T, of course. 605 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,241 You can come whenever you want. 606 00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:41,238 I'd like you to come. 607 00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:42,673 If it helps.