Welcome home, baby.
[Jazzy] Oh, my gosh, no, he didn't.
[screams] Oh, my God!
Oh, it's real marble.
I actually just bought a house.
-You what? -You what?
[Jazzy] Oh, shit, I did not mean to say that.
I don't have a boyfriend, so...
Well, you do now.
[Jazzy] We were in love.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
[crying]
[music]
[number dialing] [ringing]
[cellphone vibrating]
[call ended tone] Babe, pick up the phone.
[cellphone ringing]
[call ended tone]
Why, Wayne?
Why?
Come on.
♪ Super star Her life is a movie ♪
♪ A pretty girl with sass in her walk ♪
♪ Want it all the life of her dreams ♪
♪ But tripped when she fell for love ♪
♪ Now she feelin caught up ♪
♪ Caught up
[music]
[Jazzy] I know what you're thinking.
For a man that just got engaged,
he sure is worried about the next chick,
when, technically, he should be happy.
I mean, you've just proposed to the love of your life, right?
Okay, listen, according to the Internet,
it says you can certainly be in love
with two people at the same time.
Then you ask yourself,
how can one fall in love when they're already in love?
This riddle might be too deep for you to understand right now,
but I promise it'll make sense later.
I mean, Whitney had to have been great if she got the ring.
I was over there and I realized
they were having sale, but I was like,
"I can't go over there, I gotta...
[Whitney] Whitney grew up in Potomac, Maryland
and lived a pretty luxurious life, to say the least.
Her father was a really big investment banker
and her mother was a corporate attorney.
Let's just say, growing up,
the financial stability was there,
but the love, not so much.
Thank you, girl. I'll be here next week.
[Jazzy] Despite her ability to rack up a tab,
it was actually a coping mechanism
that helped her keep her mind off all the bullshit
that was happening at home.
Whitney was the kind of girl
that yearned for things that money couldn't buy
like happiness and love and structure.
So how did she meet Wayne?
Well, they went to college together.
[music]
[Library clerk] Are you paying with your student card today?
Sir, are you paying with your student card today?
Huh? Shit, yeah, I am.
Holy shit! You're Wayne Thompson.
We are so happy to have you here, man.
I saw what you did in high school, bro.
You're gonna kick ass this season, man.
-I appreciate it, man. -[Student] Shh!
[Library clerk] What do you mean shh?
This man's our savior. You shh!
Thanks, man. Can I just have my book?
Hell, yeah, it's on me. Don't even worry about it.
[Wayne] No, it's all good, you don't have to do...
Too late. Gotta be quicker than that.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, can I just grab a selfie real quick?
[Wayne] Sure.
[Jazzy] She was a few years older than him,
but when he came on the scene, he shook that shit up.
And Whitney, she was a good girl.
[Wayne] Hey!
[Library clerk] Go, Eagles!
♪ Sexy
[Jazzy] Remember, Wayne was raised by his grandmother,
so he learned early on to be a gentleman.
Instead of getting behind her
and pressing his dick in her back,
he waited for her.
Can I dance with you?
I don't know. Can you?
[Jazzy] I know I just said Whitney was a good girl,
but she also had that bad girl shit to her
like the type that can snatch your soul
if she really wanted to.
You know, kind of how Medusa turned men to stone
with just one look,
well, Whitney just made your dick hard
if y'all locked eyes on her.
Just saying.
♪ Sexy baby you drive me crazy
[Jazzy] Don't do it, girl. Don't do it!
It's a trap!
♪ Vermin believe in love ♪
♪ Sexy sexy
[Jazzy] This man don't listen.
I know, right? What is up with this man and bathrooms?
Let me find out it was Whitney's freaky ass
that actually kicked off the bathroom craze.
[chuckling] Anyways.
From then on, the two were inseparable.
Whoever said that sex on the first night
cripples your relationship?
Not in this case.
Okay, so you wanna mention you know chapter three.
[Jazzy] Whitney was very supportive.
She wanted to be everything
that she didn't have with her parents,
so it was important for her that she gave her man
the love and structure and the support
that he needed to get to the next level.
Oh, and she also had money.
-Just throwing that out there. -That's enough.
Give me that.
[Jazzy] Why would Wayne cheat
on the very person that had his back?
Well, the truth is, when your fate is written
that you're gonna be the next best thing out of college,
you're gonna have options.
And, Wayne, [scoffing] he had a lot.
♪ I was floating in the sky
[Jazzy] Like, a lot of options.
I mean, duh, who wouldn't wanna attach themselves
with this rising star?
And Whitney didn't need him or the money
he ain't even make yet.
Shit, he poured into her
because he saw her as valuable.
You know, the other bitches was just back scratches,
to say the least.
Whitney's heart, cup, and belly were full.
Did I mention she was pregnant?
And Wayne promised to take care of her
if she decided not to finish school,
which he did.
It's safe to assume
that this was the night that she got pregnant.
Wayne held up his end of the bargain
by taking care of his girlfriend turned baby momma
and she took care of home,
creating structure for her and her new family,
but the problem was,
somehow, she forgot to love her man.
At least, that's how Wayne felt.
[music]
Finally get you all to myself.
Wayne.
Yes, baby?
I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm really tired.
Let me help you fall asleep then.
Hm-hmm, I need to get some rest.
You know he only sleeps every few hours.
All I need is five minutes.
Can I please just lay down
without another human wanting or needing something from me?
Babe, what's wrong with you?
If it's not Wesley sucking milk out of my breast
every hour on the hour,
then it's you
wanting to be inside of me the minute I close my eyes.
I'm just not up for it tonight, okay?
When's the last time you gave me some, Whitney?
I'm sorry, Wayne.
I'm just too busy raising your fucking son!
[Westley crying]
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got someone else who wants to suck on my titties.
Shit, well, at least somebody get to.
-- damn it.
[Jazzy] I know this is triggering to some people,
but the truth is men need constant love too, okay?
Not just tender-loving affection,
They need that nasty shit.
Spontaneous bathroom quickies, head while driving,
all the shit that she used to do.
And after their son was born,
Wayne seemed to be, well, forgotten.
And I know what you're thinkin.
"If they got all this money,
why won't they just hire a nanny?"
I'm glad you asked.
Well, Whitney was practically raised by her nanny
because her parents were so busy working
that she vowed to herself
that if she ever had children,
she wanted to be fully present in their lives.
Not just when it was time
to swipe the credit cards, you know?
And don't get me wrong, I'll say it again,
Wayne loved Whitney.
She gave him his first son, she held him down,
and she believed in him, and he respected her.
She also knew that he would never leave his family,
and some might say that she was comfortable.
And others might say, "You damn right.
She should be."
But when Wayne met Jazzy, he was in a dark place,
and let's face it,
sparks shine brighter when you're in the dark.
So after about a year of being neglected,
Jazzy filled that void, effortlessly.
I mean, after all, that was her man.
At least that's what he told her over breakfast.
Wayne was in heaven. He finally felt seen.
Okay, picture this.
Imagine working hard, busting your ass
to provide for your family every damn day...
[Wayne] Hey, babe.
[Jazzy] And when you get home, there's no love.
Hey, babe.
Hey, baby.
The fuck?
[music]
[Jazzy] And for people who actually have shit to do,
and I know, I know,
that's still not a reason to have a whole-ass affair,
but wait, I'm not done yet.
Wayne was in too deep.
I mean, he couldn't possibly tell Jazzy the truth.
She became his safe haven.
So the thought of it being over, ugh,
that didn't sit well with him.
[Woman] If you wanna get your life back on track,
you have to grab it by the balls.
I want you to visualize yourself
grabbing your life by the balls.
Grab and squeeze. Grab and squeeze.
Do it with me.
Grab, squeeze.
Grab and squeeze and twist!
No, she didn't say that. Just grab and squ--
Grab and squeeze.
You control the narrative of your life.
Yep. You control your emotions.
When something in your life does not serve you,
say thank you and release it.
I want you to wave to your problems.
Let them go.
Bye, Wayne. Bye, Wayne.
I release you, you piece of shit!
I release you.
[Louise] Watch your mouth before I come in there
and rinse it out with soap!
How did she hear that?
[Louise] I hear everything.
Okay. [text message alert]
What?
No. No! I release you, Wayne!
Eight o'clock? What time is it right now?
[music]
Fine!
What the...
[painful screaming] Shit!
Ow!
What is wrong with you?
♪ I know what you want
♪ I know what you like
♪ I know what you want ♪
♪ I know what you like
♪ Matter of fact, baby
♪ I got some plans for us tonight ♪
♪ I hope you don't mind ♪
♪ I'll bring a friend of mine
♪ Matter of fact, baby
♪ I got some plans for us tonight ♪
♪ I know what you want ♪
What do you want, Wayne?
[yelling] What do you want?
No. Too aggressive, too aggressive.
You said you wanna talk, so talk.
Don't tell me I look good. I know I look good.
If you think I came over here
to give you some pussy, you got me fucked up!
[Louise] Watch ya blood clot mouth.
Sorry, Mommy!
You a lying piece of shit.
Don't fucking touch me.
I'm ready.
Fuck you.
[music]
Okay. Okay, I'm ready.
No matter what happens, no matter what happens,
you, you're beyond worth it, okay?
Oh, no. No, I can't...
No, no, no. I can't do it.
Fuck! What am I thinking? I can't fucking do this.
-Okay... -Excuse me, miss.
I believe you're going the wrong way.
No, no, no, it's okay. I was just lost.
It's fine. I got it.
What the fuck?
I was gone for 10 seconds. Are you kidding me?
Ah.
Why don't you come inside
and I'll call the boot bondsman.
[Jazzy] What the fuck is a boot bondsman?
He just made that shit up.
This is fucking ridiculous. Whatever.
Right this way, madam.
[Jazzy] I'm fine.
My, Wayne told me you were the spicy one.
Take a seat, madam.
I'm fine. I'll stand.
Mr. Wayne will be here any minute.
Will you tell Mr. Wayne...
Tell Wayne what?
[Jazzy] Damn, he fine.
And he smells good too. Shit.
You look amazing.
Don't tell me I look good. I know I look good.
Ooh, that one went better than I rehearsed.
Please have a seat.
I'm fine right here.
You hungry?
Not really.
Man, what? I am starving.
Thank you.
This was all your idea?
Yes, ma'am.
[Jazzy] The boot on my car too?
Yeah.
Typical Wayne.
I know you, Jazz.
I know you like to run from shit.
And I ain't letting you go anywhere.
So you're kidnapping me?
Got it.
[Wayne] Kidnapping you?
Girl, that's illegal.
You wanna be here.
[Jazzy] Ugh, he is just too damn cocky.
Cheers.
Wayne, cut the shit, okay?
Cheers to you coming back to me.
I didn't come back to you, all right?
I came here so you can explain yourself.
There's a difference. All right?
Damn, I...
Yeah, you know, I'm gonna head out.
Yeah.
[Wayne] Eighteen weeks, Jazz.
Excuse me?
It's 18 weeks in a season,
totaling 17 games.
Nine at home, eight away.
What's your point?
Eleven out of those seventeen,
my fiancé hasn't touched me.
What about the other six?
That's me basically begging her for it.
Okay, Wayne, I, I didn't come all the way over here
just to hear about how your fiancé doesn't fuck you.
Okay? So I'm gonna go.
She doesn't even see me, Jazz.
[Jazzy] Please make it stop.
She don't look at me the way you do.
What was all this for, Wayne?
Was I just a pathetic piece of pussy to you?
-[Wayne] Jazz.. -No, seriously,
make it make sense.
You had me come all the way over here
so you can explain, so explain, Wayne!
What was all of this shit for?
The lunches, the dinners,
the times that we spent together,
when I leaned on your chest
and you told me about your life, Wayne?
But you know what you forgot?
The most important part,
that you were planning a fucking engagement
this entire time that I knew nothing about!
Not the whole time.
"Not the whole time"?
Really?
That's what you got
from everything that I just said right now?
I didn't know this was gonna happen, Jazz.
When I met you, I didn't know you'd affect me like this.
I'm so sorry.
Well, how do you think I feel?
I actually fell in love
with your trifling ass!
I gotta go. I can't...
-[Wayne] Babe, wait. -No, don't fucking touch me!
Jazz, listen, I need you to know
that I'm a better man because of you.
And guess who reaps those benefits, Wayne.
She does. Not me!
So you can miss me with all that better man bullshit
'cause that don't apply to me, okay?
So please just let me go.
I can't do that, Jazz. Just listen to me.
Wayne, take the fucking boot off my car.
No.
[Jazzy] Take the boot off my car,
you lying piece of shit!
No.
Take the fucking boot off my car, Wayne!
Jazz, I know you love me, Jazz.
-I don't fucking love you. -And I love you too.
You can't possibly love me! Wayne.
Just take the boot off my car.
I can't do that, Jazz!
Take the fucking boot off my car!
-[Wayne] Please, Jazz... -Take the boot
off my fucking car!
Take it off, Wayne!
-Babe, listen. -[Jazzy] Take it off.
-Listen to me. Jazz. -[Jazzy] Just take it off.
Jazz, I need you, babe. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, babe.
But I'll make it right. I promise.
Look at me.
-I don't believe you. -I'm sorry.
I can't lose you, Jazz.
-I don't believe you. -Please?
I'm gonna make it right, okay?
Please give me another chance.
-No. -Please.
-No. No. -Hey.
-Baby, please. -No, I can't.
I can't lose you, babe.
Jazz, please?
I'm gonna make it right, okay? I promise.
Okay?
Sorry, baby.
♪ They say love is blind ♪
♪ I can't tell if it's true
♪ You've been on my mind
[Jazzy] Love is hard and it takes work.
And when you love someone,
and I mean really love someone,
it's hard for you to think straight sometimes.
It's like all you want
is for them to just get it right,
and you find yourself just giving chance after chance
through the ups and downs,
just hoping and wishing that they do.
-Good morning, madam. -Shit.
I apologize, madam.
May I offer you any coffee or tea?
No, no, no, I'm okay. I'm just about to...
Espresso, matcha? Cappuccino?
[Jazzy] No, I'm really fine.
I really just have to get to where I'm going. Okay.
Tequila, wine, sangria?
You know, maybe a shot won't hurt.
Hey, it's 5:00 somewhere.
All right. It's 5:00 somewhere.
[music]
Hi, how can I help you?
Hi, I just need to get one of those Next Day.
Oh, morning after pill, I got you.
[Jazzy] So much for being discreet.
And here you go, ma'am.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry.
Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm so, I'm so...
[Whitney] It's okay. It's okay, girl.
I say it all the time. These aisles are too damn small.
[Jazzy] Oh, my Lord.
Hey, go, Blue Jays.
Go, team.
Thanks.
That was weird.
[cellphone vibrating]
Hello.
Bitch, you on that cocaine?
Bitch, no.
[Toya] Oh, shit, I was gonna tell ya to save me some, girl!
Wait, hold on. Is you crying?
Oh, hell, no! Who did it?
You want me to teach you how to make prison poison?
It disappear in the body without a trace.
[Jazzy] No, girl, it's just Wayne's ass.
Girl, tell me why I'm at the pharmacy
and I run into his fucking fiancé?
I'm there, buying the next day after pill
because I fucked the nigga raw, again, last night,
and this bitch is in here, buying not one, not two,
but three fucking pregnancy tests.
Three pregnancy tests?
Well, shit, how many next day after pills did you buy?
Did you take it?
I mean, yeah, I'm about to take it now.
[Toya] Well, bitch, I suggest you get two more
of them motherfuckers if the nigga that fertile.
[Jazzy] Toya, it don't work like that, okay?
Look, the point is I'm popping next day after pills
and she's happily buying pregnancy tests.
Same nigga, same possibilities,
two completely different circumstances.
[Toya] Well, shit, bitch, at least you got your life.
You ain't tied down to no nagging-ass nigga.
You ain't got no bad-ass, milking-sucking-ass kids.
You could do whatever the fuck you want.
You don't need his ass.
Wait. Hold on, Toya.
She coming out the store right now.
-Who? -[Jazzy] Wayne's fiancé.
Ah, shit, it's getting good.
What kind of car she drive?
Hold on, I'm about to tell you right now.
Bitch.
What kind of car is it?
A fucking Rolls-Royce.
A Rolls-Royce? Oh, shit!
Did you take that pill yet?
Not yet.
Don't do it, bitch! The nigga rich!
[music]