It begins like this.
Two billion years ago, an amoeba.
Wait, let's... let's back up. I've skipped too many connections.
Out of nothing, in an instant... everything.
An infinite cosmic orgy of matter and energy,
rubbing, bumping, and grinding together.
There would be no galaxies, no suns, no planets,
no life without collisions of heavenly bodies.
Back to our amoeba.
It engulfs a bacterium with unique powers, and... voilà.
Earth's first photosynthesis-enabled organism.
Maybe it was chance.
Maybe it was inevitable.
This one changed amoeba
becomes the ancestor of every living plant on Earth,
which in turn floods the planet with oxygen... paving the way for every other form of life we know...
leading to more souls, more connections,
and therefore more new worlds branching outward from the first.
These forces of nature, when they converge,
be they astronomical collisions, biological unions,
demonstrate the infinite potential of our connections.
This truth also extends to the human heart.
Pack of Stuttons.
No offense, but how are you gonna pay for these?
I'm gonna use an adBuddy to cover this purchase.
Those assholes record client conversations.
AD BUDDY NOT ACCEPTED
National Database of Desires.
The businessmen, ever hear of it?
They know you better than you know you.
- Okay. - It's not a conspiracy,
just a conspiracy theory.
Hypothesis...
all souls are on a quest to connect.
Corollary...
our minds have no awareness of this quest.
Oh.
Did you know that most quarters have been swallowed and defecated by a human?
Hypothesis... all the worlds that almost were
matter just as much as the world we're in.
Corollary...
these hidden worlds cause us great pain.
...no wallet, no shoes.
No idea how I even really got to Poland in the first place.
Bro, I'm telling you,
this was seriously such a crazy situation.
Th... From Poland... I was in...
I had no idea... I had no idea how I got there.
Camaraderie, communion,
family, friendship, love, what have you.
We're lost without connection.
EVERYTHING TASTES BETTER WHEN YOU'RE TOGETHER
...relationships are tough.
Thank you, Friend Proxy.
It's quite terrible... to be alone.
NOT ALL HUGS ARE CREATED EQUAL
Put simply, my goal is to eradicate all...
unnecessary and inefficient forms of human pain.
Forever.
We must evolve past our suffering.
It's trash, not a handout. Let's move it.
What are you, a cop?
Not much of a difference authority-wise. Let's go.
MILGRIM INDUSTRIES
My research into this matter is...
of course, ongoing.
The witness has already been sworn in.
Mr. Milgrim, can you state for the court
your relationship with the defendant, Mr. Jed Milgrim?
He's, um...
- He's my brother. - Thank you.
Have you ever been arrested? - No. - Are you married?
- No. - Children?
No.
And can you tell us about the psychotic break
that you experienced roughly ten years ago?
- Really? - I'm just asking.
That's how they're gonna start? Dad, come on.
It doesn't necessarily mean that it'll be like that in the trial, Owen,
but, uh, sometimes prosecutors, they...
they try atypical inroads...
to crack you.
That's why we... we have to prep for the unexpected.
Can you resume, please?
Have you ever been hospitalized for mental illness?
Yes, ten years ago.
Please explain what happened.
I was hospitalized...
and medicated...
and...
that was the last episode I had.
Wasn't the nature of this psychosis delusional?
That you sometimes thought you saw your brother when he wasn't there?
Not exactly.
Just say no.
Then what was the nature of this psychosis?
Owen, don't you think that your mental illness
should disqualify you from testifying as a witness on your brother's behalf?
Look, there's only one question here that really matters.
Owen, do you know what is real?
One hundred percent.
I'm compos mentis.
Welcome to New York.
And this is Statue of Extra Liberty. Da.
Statue of Extra Liberty. Okay.
How'd the trial prep go for a naughty brother?
Did you tell them about me?
You're not supposed to be here.
Good. You're still using the code words,
even though I am technically invisible.
Owen, this week must be a doozy for you, huh?
You thought you were rid of me, but I have new information.
This time I know.
You've been chosen to save the world.
You're gonna be a hero.
I don't want this. I don't want it.
I don't want this.
The details of the mission will be delivered to you by an agent, a woman.
You'll know her when you see her, trust me.
Just make contact with her.
The pattern is the pattern.
She'll reach you for further instructions!
Don't fuck this up!
Welcome. Please make a selection to begin.
You selected single ride.
How will you pay?
You selected credit.
Please swipe now.
Declined. Insufficient funds.
Would you like to use an adBuddy to add funds?
Yes or no?
TIRED OF HERE? ONE WAY FLIGHTS STARTING AT $1799
Welcome.
AD BUDDY
...train now arriving...
Please step away from the platform edge.
Okay, Mr. Milgrim, I'm gonna need your attention.
"When tragedy strikes others,
it's sometimes hard to know what to do until now..."
Owen.
"Daddy's Home. Consider becoming a temporary volunteer mail-order husband
and changing the lives of a heartbroken family in your region."
YOU ARE HERE
Okay, well, up next,
we got something called Neberdine Pharmaceuticals.
"Good afternoon, Owen.
Did you know that your rent comprises 87.2 percent of your annual income?"
Is that actually true?
- I just moved into my own place. - Manhattan these days...
I'm over in an underground warehouse unit.
Hoboken.
- I actually live in Roosevelt Island. - Okay, well...
Uh, let's see. Oh-ho-ho.
"A catastrophic interruption in your professional life,
like a furlough, could ruin you.
Ever thought about supplementing your income with pharmaceutical testing?"
Friend Proxy.
"Tired of spending your time and energy making friends?"
And that is why Daddy's Home is happy to welcome you, Mr. Milgrim.
And I'd have to cover relocation costs?
And inherit any potential debt of the deceased.
That doesn't make sense.
So, that's a yes?
To what?
It makes perfect sense.
- We are offering you heroism. - So this is your office area.
Again, it's a question of commitment.
Your ad is misleading,
'cause you refer to it as a volunteer opportunity,
but in the end I'd have to pay.
But think about what you'd be getting.
- A wife, lonely, in need. - Yeah.
- Owen. It's a done deal. - I have to go.
Rozo did the anonymous hammerhead from the top down
and came back with a 12-bullet short-termer.
- When? - Well, they randomized the pattern.
We've sent out 30 memos on it since this morning.
Um, so this furlough, how long does it last?
- It's temporary. - Right.
So... when am I back?
Oh, I don't know. I was kidding. It's probably permanent.
I was using your kind of humor,
when you say something you don't mean and nobody laughs.
It's... Yeah, it's okay. I'll just...
I'll just dip into my savings.
Bye.
THE PATTERN IS THE PATTERN
Okay, Owen.
- Do you know what I want to do? - Yes.
Are you sure you know what I want to do?
Yes.
The way this deprogramming works, it's not an overnight fix.
You have to listen to it like a mantra.
If you start feeling paranoid, you play this tape right away, okay?
Okay.
Now, stop me when I say something that's not true.
The world sends you messages.
Yes.
Words are often code words,
or pass phrases for important secrets.
Yes.
You're visited by a brother no one else in your family is aware of.
A facsimile of your brother Jed.
- Yes. - He sends you messages.
Instructions for important missions you must accomplish.
To see the deeper truth.
He tells you you're meant to do something big,
something that matters to the world, and that you're not meant to do it alone.
All you need is a partner.
Yes.
You made a promise to me, and you made a promise to yourself.
You promised we'd golf together in Hilton Head.
You sense danger all around you, but you stay disciplined.
A fight's coming.
Something even bigger than this world.
Possibly extending to multiple galaxies.
- Fourth floor. Thank you. - Yes.
Hello, Mrs. Finkelstein.
Fuck off, Donovan.
It's, uh... Owen.
- Owen Milgrim... - Fuck off, Donovan.
Never mind. Good.
Does it feel good to be heard?
Yes.
Does it feel good to know that you're not alone with this information?
Yeah.
Will you complete your mission?
Maybe.
Am I a trusted messenger?
Yes.
Good. Then here are your real instructions.
Repeat after me. There is no pattern.
There is no pattern.
I am vulnerable, but I am not stupid.
I'm vulnerable, but I'm not stupid.
But I will seek out the people in my life that care about me.
I will seek out the people in my life who care about me.
I am not the chosen one.
The voices aren't real.
- The voices aren't real. - The voices aren't real.
The voices are just noise.
- The voices are just noise. - The voices are just noise.
I am just a guy with a vivid imagination.
I'm just a guy with a vivid imagination.
I will most likely not be the savior of our galaxy.
Hello?
I've got a package from Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech
for an Owen Milgrim.
What?
I've... a package... your name.
Hello?
Hi, Owen. Did you get what I sent you?
How did you...
I've just been informed that you qualify as a hero candidate.
- What does that mean? - It's a term we use
for those who've been specifically selected for one of our studies.
You're a very desirable individual to us, Owen.
I've never seen B.N. over-ratios like this before.
What does a hero candidate do?
Exactly the things they were born to.
In your case, helping us treat maladies ranging from sluggishness and depression
to I.B.S, to popcorn problems and irrational fears.
"Popcorn problems"?
Prostate problems, yes.
Oh, I thought you...
We'll give you all the details when you come in.
So, we'll see you on Monday?
Good evening, Mr. Milgrim.
Everyone is on the patio for the recital.
Thank you.
Where does she sleep when she stays over?
This one?
Yeah, she's your sister, right?
Or is she a secret agent?
How did you know?
Because I have super-secret sources
at a super-secret agency.
Don't tell anyone.
Okay.
Supper's ready.
Okay, Mom.
I was completely baffled.
You know, I left for school.
Ernie was fine, and then, you know, the food was in the bowl.
The water was there, cage was locked up,
and I get back from basketball practice,
- and he's just gone, absolutely... - The great gerbil escape artist.
- But he wasn't exactly fucking gone. - Language, Phil.
No, that's correct. He wasn't exactly fucking gone like that.
- Language, Jed. - Where'd he go, O?
Maybe you shouldn't curse so much in front of the children.
- Ah, come on. Tell the rest. - This is not a farmyard, boys.
So, um, I ask everyone, right?
Everyone's looking around the whole house, everyone frantic,
and finally Owen, you know, eventually comes up
and brings me to his room...
How old were you then, Owen? Like, eight or somethin'?
- Nine. - Eight or nine, whatever.
And he says... he says,
"Uh, I have to tell you somethin'. My... my hawk ate Ernie."
"What?" And he points over there,
and there's this big fuckin' red-tailed hawk
sitting on his desk staring at me.
What eight-year-old has a fuckin' hawk?
Uh, how did you have a hawk?
Um, I rescued it from the park.
I found it with a broken wing and brought it to my room and fed it.
- Yeah, I forgot. - You'd feed him.
That was the craziest part. He would feed it, like a mother bird, you know...
Oh, masticate... No, no, no. Premasticate.
- Yeah, premastication! - Jed was a chronic masticater.
- How'd you know? - He'd go blind doing that.
How long did you take care of the bird for, Owen?
Two or three months, until it was strong enough
to go into Jed's room and eat his gerbil, I guess.
But what happened to the hawk?
We set it free.
Oh. Okay.
That reminds me.
Remember when Colby fell in the Gowanus Canal?
- Remember that day? - Oh, poor Colby.
- I threw the stick, he didn't go for it... - So traumatizing.
I told Jed I wouldn't marry him until they painted you in.
Maybe that's why we haven't set a date yet.
They're gonna paint me in.
The artist just took a six-month sabbatical to Nepal,
to study the light.
I lost my job.
I'm sorry, Owen.
It's okay, I'll find a new one.
I'm actually thinking about becoming
a temporary volunteer husband.
You're not serious.
Get rid of my lease, bounce from widow to widow.
Mm-mm.
Do you ever notice that your plans always involve starting over...
often with an entirely new identity?
It's a good fantasy.
Pudding's upstairs by the fireplace, everyone.
Just to get through the post-dinner conversation.
Think about it.
Seriously...
as a hypothetical.
Say you and I left, right? Tonight.
I got us passports, new identities.
You steal all the money from Jed's bank account.
We just... do that.
We get a house in the middle of nowhere.
Start again.
Different people.
Are we a married couple?
We don't...
We can be, you know...
We don't have to be. We could be brother, or sister, or... friends.
So...
tonight, then,
after dessert?
Yeah.
I'm serious. Let's do it.
You're fucking with me.
I got you.
You believed me.
This week's gonna be a living hell for me.
He'll totally win.
He's not guilty. No chance of a conviction.
It's all just so humiliating.
I mean, it's been going on for fucking ages,
all just for one day in court.
Because he didn't do it, so...
You're positive?
Right? You were actually with him?
Yes.
- You would make that move. - What does that even mean?
- "Make that move"? - That's the move...
Hey, Owen, you're not trying to sneak off, are you?
No, Dad.
I need a second of your time before you leave.
Come on, boys, it's time.
- Balderdash! - Oh!
- Owen, you're staying to play. - No, I-I have to go.
- I have something... - You love Balderdash.
No, I don't.
Come on, stay, it will be fun.
I have a fundamental problem with Balderdash.
I gotta say, what a delicious meal that was.
- Sure was. - So good, Mom. So good.
- You used to love Balderdash. - Oh, no, I didn't.
Who wants ice cream?
- Who wants ice cream? Oh, you do? - I do!
Of course. But whoever's the quietest gets ice cream, I promise. Mom.
Oh, are we playing Balderdash, or what?
So, um... I've been considering...
Considering leaving Roosevelt Island?
- No... - Oh, thank God.
So, have Hal help you find something closer.
- Oh, you moving closer? - I'm not moving closer.
Crazy to think that every word did get invented.
I-I have to go. Goodbye.
- Wait, you're not playing Balderdash? - No, I can't. Bye.
Oh, Owen, come on, you love Balderdash.
No, I don't fucking love Balderdash! Balderdash is bullshit.
- Jesus, Owen. - Is he off his meds?
I'll walk you to the station.
- Don't worry about Uncle Owen. - Aggressive.
He's a spaz. We're gonna get ice cream now.
- Is it a money crisis? - No.
I know it's an expensive apartment to rent, but...
Have you... have you thought about a... a roommate?
No.
I don't know why you won't let us just buy you a place.
That way you'd have more security.
Or you... you could come and work for the company.
All your brothers do.
I already agreed, okay?
You don't need to buy me off.
Uh... I don't... I don't follow you. What...
I will lie for Jed...
next week in court.
I get the expectation.
It's not an expectation, Owen, it's a gift.
You are giving your brother the gift of an alibi.
This woman is an opportunist. She sees an in.
You're protecting him.
You're protecting the family.
I know, I know, it sounds muddled, but that is the way reality works, Owen.
How's that, Dad?
With... with adjustments.
Just so you know, I got a new job.
Oh? What... what job?
Business... marketing.
It involves travel, so I'll be gone a couple days next week,
but I'll be back in time for the trial.
And...
don't worry if you can't reach me.
Someone invented a new kind of ham.
Oh.
That's... that's wonderful, Owen.
That's... that's... that's great.
Milgrim men, we always come out on top.
Anyway...
All right.
Hey, Colby, it's a Tristan 500.
- Cleaning in progress. - No kicking and licking.
SANITATION
NEBERDINE PHARMACEUTICAL BIOTECH
Find the end of your rainbow
at Neberdine Pharmaceutical and Biotech.
Psst, buddy. Which one are you here for?
It should be on the form right there.
It says, uh, U.L.P.
Me too.
That's a good one.
It's the big time.
Get ready to make a lot of fuckin' money.
Carol Cuddy. Carol Cuddy, please report to D.M. test room three
for A.E.B Phase I.
What do the bombs mean?
High-risk. That's where the dollars come from.
Apparently, they're havin' some kind of problem with this new drug.
- I think you should let me do it again. - Strong stuff. Very trippy shit.
- Who's in charge of the red light? - That doesn't bother you?
- No. - I don't fucking understand.
- No risk, no reward. - I'm supposed to be part of the trial.
- I'm sorry. - This is fucking bullshit.
John Mallory, please report to D.M. test room one.
John Mallory, please report to D.M. test room one for Rumi Phase III.
Patricia. Patricia.
I got bosses around.
- I have to get into that study. - Ma'am?
You have a daughter. Her name is Usnavy, and she goes to Hunter College.
Owen Milgrim, please report to D.M. test room five.
Owen Milgrim, please report to D.M. test room five for U.L.P. screening.
Steven McDougal, please report to test room eight.
Steven McDougal, please report to test room eight for M.S. One Phase II.
Unnecessary.
Try to answer with an emotion, rather than a description.
Uh... calm.
Justice.
- Is this personalized somehow? - No.
Focus on your answers.
- Suffocated. - Good.
Now, Mr. Milgrim...
please turn your attention to me
as I ask you this final question.
Are you gonna ask it?
Does that disqualify me?
Your defense mechanisms are fungible.
You've been accepted.
Find the end of your rainbow
at Neberdine Pharmaceutical and Biotech.
Stop looking at me.
Did... did you...
Did you lose your husband recently?
Huh?
Did you lose your husband recently?
No.
- But I just saw... - Leave me alone.
Do you play golf in Hilton Head?
I'll kill you.
I have a gun.
Attention, please, all participants
in the U.L.P. Phase III trial,
please look at your lanyards.
If you are an odd number, please line up at the intake corridor.
All even numbers will be next.
It's Jed.
No, it's Grimsson.
Mustache. No, don't say anything. Just be cool.
The pattern is the pattern.
The pattern got you here.
Keep trusting the pattern.
She's your handler now.
She has a certain je ne sais quoi.
She's no Olivia, though.
Make contact with her. Use the code phrase.
If you are an odd number, please line up at the intake corridor.
The pattern is the pattern. I know it doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense to me either right now, but it will.
Keep going forward.
Just reach out...
and make contact.
All odd numbers, line up by the intake corridor.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Sorry.
Robert.
Robert. Robert, wake up.
The odds are here.
Okay.
Let us complete this trial with none of the old problems, sir.
Yes, Dr. Fujita.
None of the old problems.
As you enter the common room,
you will notice there are numbers on the pods.
The pod numbers correspond with the numbers on your lanyards.
Please go to your pod.
That will be your home for the duration of your stay here with us.
Leaving your pod at any unauthorized moment
will result in the termination of your stay here at this trial,
as well as bringing shame and humiliation upon you.
Once you reach your pod, an orderly will approach
and begin to inspect your bag.
Once the orderly has inspected your bag, you will put your bag in your locker.
Once you have done that, make your way to this gentleman.
He will give you your uniform,
as well as your patented Neberdine shoes,
which you cannot take with you at the end of the trial.
Once you have your uniforms and your shoes,
you will make your way back to your pods,
then you will get in your pods and change clothes in your pods.
There will be no changing in the commons.
Oh, my God!
Condoms are contraband.
- Safety first. - That's a red flag right there.
Intimacy in this facility is off-limits.
There will be no cohabitation inside the pods.
Once the curfew starts, lights go out.
You're not supposed to be here.
Please.
What are my instructions?
The pattern is the pattern.
You're my contact. What are my instructions?
Please turn off the pattern. Please turn off...
- Owen. - ..tight schedule.
We will tell you when there is mealtime.
Your instructions are to go back to your pod and await my signal.
...two Etch A Sketches and one Lite-Brite. Please don't fight over them.
I'm going to save the world.
We will tell you when there's recreation time.
- Yes. - We will also tell you when...
- You're gonna save the world. - And we will tell you when to sleep.
- But not if you blow our cover. - ...expecting. Thank you.
Is that working for you?
Okay, I understand.
If you're having trouble getting into your pod,
there is also a little ladder underneath that will help you get into your pod.
Also note, from here on in,
you will be referred to as the number on your lanyard.
You are the Odds.
Attention.
Please give your attention to Dr. Muramoto and Dr. Fujita.
They will be supervising your trials.
Welcome, subjects.
You made the right choice.
It's time to start your lives again.
You don't fuck this up...
I won't fuck this up.
Just kidding.