1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,217 [woman] I don't know why this is happening, sorry. 2 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,927 -[music playing] -[Andi] No, it's fine. 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,011 [woman] Hold on. I'll pull it this way. 4 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,721 I think I'm gonna actually go get another drink, since... 5 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,805 Okay. All right. 6 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,015 -I need to keep drinking. -I'll find you. 7 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,558 You know what I'm saying? I'll see you in a second. 8 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:17,726 [woman] All right. 9 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,394 [indistinct chatter] 10 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,647 [Kyle] This is not my life. [Bern] Yeah, okay. 11 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,898 [Kyle] This is not-- I mean, like, uh... 12 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,399 -I'm a stay-at-home dad. -Uh-huh, well-- 13 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:26,151 Andi makes way more money than me. 14 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,861 -Okay. -We're totally happy. 15 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,446 Okay. Happy, yeah! 16 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,156 -We have great sex. -Happy. Okay. 17 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,783 Hmm? 18 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,368 -What's the-- -Do you? 19 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,869 -Well, who does... -[chuckles] 20 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:39,540 ...after knowing each other for 19 years and... 21 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,542 I mean, I don't think it's because of the money. 22 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,710 -I mean, it's because-- -What are you guys talking about? 23 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,420 -Oh, nothing. -You would like this. 24 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,256 -No, don't even bother. Don't-- -Mmm-hmm. 25 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,340 -She would hate this. -[Andi] What? 26 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:49,800 -No. No, I read a study. -[Kyle] Trust me. 27 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:54,763 And it says couples who observe more gender normative roles 28 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,182 have more sex. 29 00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,893 -He read an article. -What is gender normative role? 30 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,480 -What is that? What are they? -It's stereotypically classical, uh, 31 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,358 male and female tasks in the home, 32 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,610 such as the male being the primary breadwinner 33 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,572 and the wife cleans the house and does the dishes and takes care of the kids. 34 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,656 -[chuckles] -Yes. 35 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,740 What, that they have-- 36 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,826 -People that do that-- -They have more and better sex. 37 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,035 -More and better. -Oh, and better! 38 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,287 And that's totally measurable. 39 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,371 -It's-- -Talking about sex? 40 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,999 -I am talking about a study. Yes. -About the study. 41 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,959 -Hey, baby, you gotta hear this. -But is this just because 42 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,377 he doesn't want to do any housework? 43 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,920 [Cheryl] Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. 44 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:30,424 [stammers] What the point of all of-- 45 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:35,429 Aspects of the study may benefit personal desires of mine, 46 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,431 but the fact remains, according to this at least, 47 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,683 if I was doing less laundry and less dishes, 48 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,892 we would be having more sex. 49 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,769 -Who did they poll in this? -[Kyle] Exactly. 50 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,438 [Bern] They studied people. [Andi] But do you not see 51 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,481 -how deeply sexist this is? -See, that's not about sex. 52 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,609 -Yeah. -That is-- It's true, it's not about sex. 53 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,820 That's a man feeling like somehow he's lost his power 54 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,780 because his wife is making more money. 55 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,741 -It's comin' from her side. -[Andi] Yeah, but if-- 56 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,951 She's happier, but less likely to want to have sex. 57 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,537 No, it's not our fault if you feel emasculated. 58 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,663 Exactly. 59 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,915 If you feel emasculated because you don't go to work 60 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,459 and you're staying home and doing the dishes, 61 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,252 like, you can't take it out on your wife 62 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,547 and then blame her for not wanting to fuck you or something. 63 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,634 -Excuse my French. -But you're saying that the women said 64 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:19,097 that they are less likely to want to fuck the guy if they're making more money. 65 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,932 -Than the man. -Oh! Bam! Okay. 66 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,100 No. I disagree. 67 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,354 It's gotta be about more than that. If I don't want to fuck you, 68 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,814 I don't care how many dishes you do or don't do, 69 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,317 or how much laundry you do or don't do. There's something else missing. 70 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,818 -I agree. -That's why I don't want to fuck you. 71 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,403 [indistinct chatter on radio] 72 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,618 You would tell me, right? 73 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,331 -What? -If-- You would tell me, right? 74 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,707 If... 75 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:49,378 if my staying at home with the kids and you going to work... 76 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,464 -Kyle. Kyle. -...that made you less attracted to me, 77 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,591 -you would tell me. -Kyle. 78 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,803 I would-- [stutters] There's nothing to tell you. 79 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,971 It's okay if it's true. I just want to know. 80 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,475 -Honey, I'm so attracted to you. -[sighs] 81 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,561 I have been attracted to you since I met you. 82 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,689 Right, but when I started staying home with the kids, 83 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,567 and you went to work full-time, did that... 84 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,279 -did that change your opinion of me? -I... I didn't have-- No. 85 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:20,325 Oh, my God, if anything, it made me love you more and... 86 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:24,287 Right, but not love me more. You know what I'm asking. 87 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,748 Honey, when people have kids, they're not like-- 88 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,626 I think it's... It is hard sometimes. 89 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,881 [upbeat music playing] 90 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,013 -Hey! -[Chase] Hey, party animals. 91 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,515 [Kyle] Hi. [Andi] Oh, yeah. 92 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,684 -[Chase] How was it? -It was good. 93 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,310 It was okay. Excuse me a second. 94 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,854 [Andi] Do you-- What time did they go down? 95 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,355 Oh, like 9:00. 96 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,524 -Okay, that's not bad. -Yep. No. 97 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,317 Did they ever, uh... 98 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,780 figure out what they wanted to be for Halloween? Have they decided? 99 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,700 Uh, we discussed it for a minute. 100 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:02,784 -[chuckles] -Yeah, uh, 101 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:06,163 Penny wants to be a princess and Allen will be her knight. 102 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,372 -Oh. -Oh. 103 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,166 -Cute, right? -It is cute. 104 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,501 Um, we forgot to get cash. Can we PayPal you? 105 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,586 -Yes. -I'm so sorry. 106 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:13,670 -Sorry. -It was his fault. 107 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,963 -That's fine. I don't-- [laughs] -Just saying. 108 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,631 -It is my fault. -He said he was going to the ATM 109 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,216 -and then he didn't. -Of course. 110 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,552 -All right, guys. -All right, thank you, honey. 111 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:21,803 -Thank you. -[Kyle] Bye. Thank you. 112 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,597 See you soon. Okay, bye-bye. 113 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,099 -[scoffs] -Did she say princess and knight? 114 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:29,436 -Yeah. Isn't that such a weird out? -That's totally weird. 115 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:33,064 -I don't get it. -I thought our kids were cool. 116 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,816 -I thought they were cool, too. -[scoffs] 117 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,109 -We might have to take 'em back. -Losers! 118 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,194 Return them. 119 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,947 [Andi] Exactly. That's why we have to use the beet juice coloring. 120 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,283 We can't do artificial red. 121 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:49,080 If you want me to resend you that email where I go into detail about 122 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:53,084 tumors in mice and hyperactivity in children, I can, 123 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,586 but I think you get it. 124 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,297 Trevin, if you guys are gonna hire me to do these organic cookies, 125 00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:01,927 I have to have organic ingredients. Just... Okay, please let me know. 126 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,512 [howling] 127 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,432 [indistinct chatter] 128 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:10,769 If you really wanna go crazy. But you guys, we gotta be out of here 129 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,230 in, like, 20 to 30 minutes 'cause then we're gonna go to lunch. 130 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,023 -Okay? -[both] All right. 131 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,399 Just pick one. 132 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,485 -[Penny chuckles] -[Allen] Whoa! 133 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,571 [Andi] I found the article. I read the study. 134 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,659 What I want to know is the reason that I don't want to have sex. 135 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:30,413 Because I'm seeing him do the dishes and clean, clean, 136 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,208 would I be more into... would I be, like, turned on 137 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,418 if he was chopping wood or being manly? 138 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,462 Am I gonna be all fired up and want to do it? 139 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:41,424 Or is this because we're 15 years into a relationship? 140 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,636 His libido... 141 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,056 Any guy who's gonna be turning 40 is-- He can't help it. 142 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,350 [whispering] Like, his cock doesn't get rock hard. 143 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,893 It's not like-- 144 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,854 Who wants to fuck, like, a medium-hard cock? 145 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,981 It's... 146 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,650 I just, I... 147 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:03,154 I knew that cock when it was... 20. 148 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,449 It's... It was a very different-- All right, call me back. 149 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,951 Just... just call me back. 150 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:12,330 She's mapping my masculinity as we speak, and I'm losing my mind. 151 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,749 And it's all because of your fucking husband. 152 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,834 [chuckles] I'm sorry. 153 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,628 And he just loves to smell somebody's problems, 154 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,214 smell your vulnerability, and then go for it. 155 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,549 -[chuckling] He does. -He does! 156 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,217 -I'm sorry. -And it's obnoxious. 157 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,760 Yes, it is. 158 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,347 [stuttering] He pokes the bear. 159 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,766 He doesn't poke the bear. He, like, runs up to the bear 160 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,519 and, like, tweaks its nipples and smacks it in the face, 161 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,438 and then says, like, "That guy did it." 162 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,524 [laughs] Yeah, yeah. 163 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:42,444 Oh, God, marriage, it's, um-- 164 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,362 -No, my marriage. -[laughs] 165 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:50,076 [chuckles] With my insane, lovely, beautiful, incredible, insane wife. 166 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,788 Right. Right, but your... your marvelously... 167 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,626 -caring, wonderful wife who-- -Yes, caring wife 168 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,129 who gave up her nascent career as a theater artist 169 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,633 and got a corporate gig to support my theater habit, 170 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,469 which has always been a problem in our relationship, 171 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,596 and I already have to overcome 172 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,265 the "get a real job" thing from my wife, 173 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,726 and there's already a fucking thing in our relationship 174 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,853 about her wearing the pants and her winning the money, 175 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:21,024 and me taking care of her babies and being, you know, 176 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,400 the stay-at-home dad. 177 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,570 I think, you know, I think anytime when you have a marriage 178 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,280 when you have someone who's staying in the arts 179 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,033 and someone who's kind of firmly rooted... 180 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,035 in the corporate community, 181 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,038 you're always gonna have that battle of imbalance, 182 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,123 I think, no matter what the sex. 183 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,376 And that's a very delicate, you know... 184 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,127 -Well, exactly. -...part in your marriage. 185 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:44,047 -Exactly. -I understand that, but I... 186 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:48,093 I think right now, you're focusing on something really... 187 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,469 kind of marvelous, which-- 188 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,596 -What? -Your play. 189 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,014 -[Kyle] Oh, right. -[chuckles] 190 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,642 -Which, if you'd like to talk about it... -[chuckles] Which is-- 191 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:59,270 ...I would, because I read it and I-- 192 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,731 Sure, yeah. I mean, of course. That's why we're here. I, uh... 193 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,483 -I took some notes. -Oh, my God. Wow. 194 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:06,820 I did. I really think that there's something pretty... 195 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,656 fantastic here. 196 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,618 What are you gonna do tonight? 197 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,953 Um, I'm actually really excited. 198 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:18,331 I'm gonna watch this, uh, documentary about slavery. 199 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,292 -Oh. -[both chuckling] 200 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:24,170 If that doesn't sound appealing enough, it's supposed to be, uh, 201 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,548 three and a half hours long and it's supposedly very academic. 202 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,841 Oh, honey. 203 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,510 -[grunts] -Is that for your play 204 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,178 -that you've been working on? -Yeah, yeah. 205 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:36,516 Supposedly, uh, the middle section's all about 19th century America 206 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,519 and the Emancipation Proclamation and the Civil War. 207 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,229 [breathes heavily] 208 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,857 So proud of you. 209 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,776 -I just... -Thanks. 210 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:52,949 I just think you're really, really such a special... 211 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,619 beautiful actor... 212 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,789 and person, and writer. 213 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,876 And I just love you so much. [chuckles] 214 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:04,961 Wow. 215 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,965 That means so much. Thank you for saying that. 216 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,388 [television beeping] 217 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,995 [music playing on TV] 218 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,090 [vibrates] 219 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,760 [woman on TV] You're under my spell now, Officer. 220 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,512 You'll do anything I want. 221 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,521 [kissing on TV] 222 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,317 [woman moans] 223 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,489 [sighs] 224 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,497 -Ooh. -[man] Oh, yeah. 225 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,833 [moaning] Ooh! 226 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,709 [TV volume decreases] 227 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,257 [vibrator vibrating] 228 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,928 [moaning softly] 229 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,641 [breathes deeply] 230 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,102 [woman moaning on TV] 231 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,315 -[Andi] Wow! -[sputters] Oh, Jesus! 232 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,317 -This is a great documentary. -Oh, my God. 233 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,404 -This is the slave documentary that you-- -No. No. 234 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,826 -Oh, my God! -[laughs] 235 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,913 [mimicking] "Oh, I'm just gonna go watch a slave documentary." 236 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,206 -[chuckles] Shut up. -"Uh, excuse me." 237 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,125 I really was coming down-- No. 238 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,459 Come here. 239 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,211 -Hi. -I need to see this. 240 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,546 -You need to turn it back on. -No, we are not. 241 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,339 You need to turn it back on right fuckin' now. 242 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,924 -I'm not turning it back on. -Turn it on. 243 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,677 -No. No. No. -[moaning loudly] 244 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,804 [moans] Come on. 245 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,264 No, that's not-- It's not what you think. 246 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,266 -I wasn't... I wasn't-- -Wait, wait, wait, watch this. 247 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,605 -What was that? -[chuckles] It was her hair toss. 248 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:29,772 [chuckles] 249 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,317 -[chuckles] Oh, you like that? -Do it again. Yeah. 250 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,904 -It looks like you have water in your ear. -[moans] 251 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:40,033 Like you've been swimming. You're, like, tryin' to get-- 252 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,660 -I just... -[laughs] 253 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:45,413 I know that you're gonna lord this over me... 254 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,956 -I'm not gonna lord it over you. -And I just wanna-- 255 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,335 Okay. I'm-- I'll cop to getting caught. 256 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,338 -Literally with my hand... -I'm not gonna lord it over you. 257 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,381 -...down my pants, but-- -I'll lord my pussy over you. 258 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:01,054 [chuckles] The fucking algorithm showed me that thing instead. 259 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,015 -Mmm-hmm, I'm gonna show you this thing. -No, you see, this isn't-- 260 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,433 It's not even representative of what I'm into. 261 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,269 I'm not into, like, big boobs. I'm not... 262 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,397 [sighs] 263 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:15,276 [chuckles] What are you-- What are you doing right now? 264 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,111 Showing you my pussy. 265 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,697 I'm well-- I know your pussy. 266 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,831 -Do you like that? -[sniffs] Yeah. 267 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,793 [mimicking] "Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I like it." 268 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,961 [chuckles] 269 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,340 Oh, yeah? 270 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,555 It's just really important to me that that doesn't become a thing. 271 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:45,640 [groaning] 272 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,684 'Cause you're all fucking hot and bothered right now, 273 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,935 -but tomorrow you're gonna be, like... -Oh, God. 274 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,145 "Are you really watching a documentary, Kyle?" 275 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:54,273 [mocking] You're, like, really bumming me out. 276 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,359 -Okay. -Good night. 277 00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,613 [clerk] We have firefighter, construction worker, pilot-- 278 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,031 [Andi] Let's try construction worker. 279 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,203 [clerk] Comes with its own... [Andi] Oh, my God. 280 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,579 [clerk] ...full leather belt. 281 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,164 -Plus-- -[Andi] Is the belt real leather? 282 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,875 [clerk] Not at that price. Absolutely not. [chuckles] 283 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,045 -[spooky music playing] -[indistinct chatter] 284 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,716 [Andi humming] 285 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,010 -Hey, guys. -[Tom] Hi. How you doin'? 286 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,720 -Good. -Hey, look at you guys. 287 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,847 Oh, my gosh, you have a bacon boy. 288 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,932 [Tom] Yeah, I had to convince him to wear it, too. 289 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,143 -What? Little Red Riding Hood. -You guys look great. 290 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,352 Thank you so much for doing this. 291 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,979 -Oh, it's not a problem. Honestly. -We're just having 292 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,481 a little special dinner and I really, really appreciate it. 293 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,649 I understand completely. 294 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,067 -Enjoy yourselves. -Thank you. 295 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,031 [lock clicks] 296 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,950 [gasps] Yes! 297 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,203 -Oh! -[chuckles] 298 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:52,081 -Yes. -No. I feel ridiculous. 299 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,293 -Honey, you look so hot. -This is crazy. 300 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,253 I don't feel hot. I feel really embarrassed. 301 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,005 Honey, I'm, like, fired up already. 302 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,798 -I'm feeling... Yeah. -Are you serious? This? 303 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,468 Like, I feel something going on in my pants. 304 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:07,013 Okay, but could this wait until after trick-or-treating? 305 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,473 -No, this is gonna be so much better-- -Please. 306 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,349 It's gonna be amazing. I promise you, okay? 307 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,976 -I just love Halloween. -You're not gonna believe it. 308 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,436 It's gonna be so good. I gotta get ready. 309 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,315 At least let me hand out some candy to the... 310 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,235 the kids who come by. I've decorated the whole... 311 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,405 lawn and everything. 312 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,005 -[seductively] Yoo-hoo! -[grunting] 313 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,383 Hi, there, Mr. Handyman. 314 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,302 -Well, ma'am, I, uh-- -Thanks for comin' by. 315 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,679 -[laughing] -What? Why are you laughing? 316 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,181 What is that voice you're doing? It's so fake. 317 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,265 It's my char-- 318 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,017 -I'm a professional theater actor, okay? -It's-- 319 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,769 -This has to feel real, other-- -[chuckles] 320 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:55,812 Oh, my God. 321 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,355 -What? -Come on. Just-- 322 00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,732 First of all, I'm a construction worker, right? 323 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,442 So why am I fixing your sink? 324 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,361 Construction workers don't come into people's homes. 325 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,904 I don't know. 'Cause you're my neighbor and you're-- 326 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,072 You're helping me out. 327 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,825 'Cause I'm a hot lady and you wanna get in my pants. 328 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,744 So I'm doing you a favor or are you hiring me for this? 329 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,289 -You're doing me a favor. -Okay. 330 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,209 -How long have you lived next door to me? -Ten years. 331 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,752 Great. Thank you. 332 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,463 -[seductively] Are you ready? -Yep. [grunts] 333 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,677 -Yoo-hoo! -[grunting] 334 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,930 -Hi, neighbor. -Hi. 335 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,765 So nice to have you around. 336 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,809 -[chuckles] -Have a man around. 337 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,561 -Of course, no problem. -Fixin' things. 338 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,146 Sure. 339 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,731 -My husband's been out of town for so-- -[cell phone ringing] 340 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,194 Oh, my God, this is Trevin. I'm so sorry, honey, I have to get this. 341 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,320 -Seriously? You're gonna-- -Yes. 342 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,780 -It's just-- It'll be two seconds. -What? 343 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,407 Hold on. Real quick. 344 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,534 -Trevin? Hey. -[sighs] 345 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,036 -How-- Did you hear-- -[cell phone vibrating] 346 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,663 [Andi] Really? 347 00:15:55,746 --> 00:16:00,168 I'm shocked, because how many times have we been down this road and-- 348 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,295 -[Andi stutters] -Tom? What's up? 349 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,881 Why have an organic-- Why go organic... 350 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,132 -Oh, no. -...and non-GMO, and like, 351 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,050 why go down this road 352 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,094 -talking to the farm-- -Can you hold on one sec, buddy? 353 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,722 [whispering] I gotta go. Penny scraped her knee. Just-- 354 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,724 I just don't think we can do it with a pomegranate. 355 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,767 No, we're-- Yep. No, thanks for dealing with that, buddy. 356 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,936 -I promise I'll be right there. Bye. -Can I call you back? 357 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,939 Look, just let me call you back. Okay. Okay, bye. 358 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,192 -What's going on? -Penny scraped her knee trick-or-treating, 359 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,235 -and she's crying. -Oh, no! Is she okay? 360 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,528 I think she's fine but she's freaking out. 361 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,654 Is it really bad? 362 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,865 I don't think it's really bad, but she, like, wants me to come, 363 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,617 and Tom doesn't want to deal with it, so I'm gonna-- 364 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,993 -Oh, shit. -That sounds really important. 365 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,495 Why don't you call Trevin back and I'll... 366 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,621 It's a total fucking nightmare. 367 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,707 -I'll be back in, like, ten minutes. -Okay. All right. Hurry back. 368 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,958 [Tom] Oh, here's Daddy. 369 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,752 -Dad's here! Yay! -Hey! 370 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:43,961 [Penny] Daddy. [Tom] Hurray! 371 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,296 -Hey, Tom. Hey, guys. -Hey, Dad. 372 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,215 -Hey, I'm sorry to have to pull you out. -Hi. Oh, no worries. 373 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,300 I just think she really wanted to see Dad, you know what I mean? 374 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,552 -Of course. Totally. -But look, if she's okay 375 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,222 and they're up for it, we can stay out. I don't mind. 376 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,681 -Yeah? You sure? -Yeah, yeah, not a problem. 377 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,016 -Still early. Sure. -Oh, my God. 378 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,768 That's great. I'm probably gonna take you up on that. 379 00:16:58,851 --> 00:16:59,852 Okay. Let me know. 380 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,521 Okay. Hi! 381 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,898 Hi. What happened, sweetie? 382 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,858 -I fell. -Aw! 383 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,401 You okay? 384 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,404 Is it your knee? Can I see it? 385 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:14,742 -Why are you dressed that way? -What? It's my Halloween costume. 386 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,619 I'm a construction worker. 387 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,288 Oh, yeah, that looks like that must've hurt. 388 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,415 -You feel better now? -A little. 389 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:24,460 A little? Do you feel okay to trick-or-treat? 390 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,295 Halloween is the best night of the year. 391 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:34,053 Ma'am? Ma'am, it's the handyman. I'm here to fix your sink. 392 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,222 [Andi seductively] Oh! Thank God. 393 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,308 -[chuckles] -I've been all alone and helpless. 394 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,979 -Oh. -So nice to have a big strong man around. 395 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,816 -I'm glad I could help, I, uh-- -I'm just a weak little lady. 396 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,734 -Hmm. -Something's wrong with my sink. 397 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,611 Well, let's take a look. 398 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,988 -Can I? -Oh! 399 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,114 Can you show... 400 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:56,367 Yeah, there does seem to be something wrong with that sink. 401 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,995 -[cell phone vibrating] -Oh, shit! I'm sorry. 402 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,622 -Hold on one second, my phone's ringing. -All right. 403 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:05,293 Uh, it's Tom with the kids. 404 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:07,837 [stutters] Just let me quickly nip this in the bud, um-- 405 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,547 Hey. Hi, bud. 406 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,049 [cell phone ringing] 407 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,261 Hey, Allen, listen, buddy. I need you to help me out. 408 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,054 -Trevin. -[Kyle] Your sister will listen to you. 409 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,056 Just tell her there's nothing to be afraid of, 410 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,226 that Halloween is fun, and that everybody's costumes are fake. 411 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,687 That wasn't a real vampire. I mean-- 412 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,523 -[Andi] ...speak tomorrow in the office. -[sighs] I know. 413 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,318 Look, if you're having a good time, she'll have a good time. 414 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:33,070 Thank you. Bye. [inhales sharply] 415 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,573 -Yes? All good? -[seductively] All good. 416 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:39,410 All right. Let's get back to business. 417 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,413 Oh. 418 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,708 Oh, that, uh... good sink. 419 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,503 -[both laughing] -[cell phones vibrating and ringing] 420 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,255 -[Andi groans] -[Kyle] God damn it! 421 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:58,137 [Allen] I'll trade you these Twix, 422 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,766 Rolo, Kit-Kat, and Tootsie Roll 423 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,768 for one of those. 424 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,438 No deal. [laughs] 425 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,774 [Allen] And Hershey's. 426 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,442 [Penny laughs] No deal. 427 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,985 [Allen] And Rolo. [Penny] No deal. 428 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,111 [chuckles] 429 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,946 [Allen] Fine, and then another Hershey's. I mean-- 430 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,990 [Penny] No deal. [Allen] Oh, my God. 431 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:21,035 [Penny laughs] I'm never trading these. 432 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,121 [Allen] I'll trade you two of these for that. 433 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,505 Good night. 434 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,718 Hey, pal. 435 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:43,349 Sometimes if somebody gets scared, we might think it's, like, ridiculous. 436 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,184 There's nothin' to be scared about. 437 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,104 But I need you, for your sister, to be there for her. 438 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,481 All right? And help her out. 439 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,108 Just like Mom and I are there for each other 440 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,195 if the other person is upset or gets hurt. 441 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:57,655 So even if Mom and I aren't there, 442 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:01,075 I'm gonna look to you as her big brother to take care of her. 443 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,368 Does that make sense? 444 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,454 -Yep. -Cool. 445 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,123 That's all I was trying to say. 446 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,544 -Okay. -Did you have a good Halloween? 447 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,087 -Yeah. -All right. 448 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,175 Any secret candy in here anywhere? Huh? 449 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,969 -[chuckles] No. -[kisses] Good night. 450 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,637 -Good night. -Love you. 451 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,222 Love you, too. 452 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,897 -He is such a sweet boy. -Hmm. 453 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,942 -Thanks for taking care of that. -Sure. 454 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,737 -No problem. -[sighs] 455 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,196 [kissing] 456 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,205 -[Andi exhales] Mmm. -[Kyle] Mmm-hmm. 457 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,375 [Andi chuckles] 458 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:55,921 [groans] 459 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,886 [Kyle sighs] 460 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,935 -[Kyle sniffs] -[sighs] I'm just-- 461 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,187 [sighs softly] 462 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:20,946 [moaning] 463 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,701 -[Andi sighs] -[Kyle chuckles] 464 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,914 [Kyle grunts] 465 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,415 [sighs] 466 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,302 [grunts] 467 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:45,971 Oh! 468 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:50,059 [Kyle moans] 469 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,686 -[softly] You feel that? -Yeah. 470 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,938 [Kyle sighs] 471 00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:58,359 -Yeah. You like that? -Yeah. 472 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,204 -[panting] -[moans] 473 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,333 [both moaning] 474 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,924 Oh, fuck yeah. 475 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,884 Oh, yeah. 476 00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:25,636 Oh, fuck. 477 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:28,305 -[moaning] -You got me so hard. 478 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,683 -Oh, yeah. -Fuck, yes. 479 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,226 [Andi whimpers] 480 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,479 [moaning] 481 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,487 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 482 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:45,698 [both panting] 483 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,911 [both breathing heavily] 484 00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:01,005 Oh, yeah. 485 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,429 [chuckles softly] 486 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,183 [water running] 487 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,979 [sighs] 488 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,567 [water stops] 489 00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:24,361 [sighs] 490 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:26,697 [chuckles] 491 00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:29,908 [inhales sharply] 492 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,552 Holy shit. 493 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,600 [groans and sniffles] 494 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:58,270 [grunts] 495 00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:03,734 -[indistinct chatter] -[pan sizzling] 496 00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,698 -[tablet beeping] -[Penny] You migrate. 497 00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:13,952 Wow. What's the occasion? 498 00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,748 Oh, I don't know. Just a little... 499 00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:19,416 Saturday morning breakfast. 500 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,168 Oh. 501 00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:23,504 -All right. -[chuckles] 502 00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:25,089 -Thank you. -Good morning. 503 00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:29,051 Good morning. 504 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:30,594 -[tablet beeping] -[chattering indistinctly] 505 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:31,887 [Andi] How you feelin'? 506 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:35,182 Pretty great. 507 00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:40,354 Pretty great. Thanks for letting me sleep in. 508 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:43,148 -Well, you earned it. -That's nice. 509 00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:44,525 [laughs] 510 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,444 -I sure did. -[both chuckle] 511 00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:48,779 [Allen] Hey, Dad, check this out. 512 00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:51,782 Not right now, buddy. I'm with your mom. 513 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:53,409 I'll check it out in a minute. 514 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:59,540 [Allen and Penny continue chatting] 515 00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,252 [snorts] 516 00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,880 [Allen] What food do you want? [Kyle] All right. 517 00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,173 -What'd you wanna show me? -He likes seeds. 518 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:09,883 All right. 519 00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:14,471 We're spawning, like, every kind of animal. 520 00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:23,313 [Allen] We have lots of animals. [Penny] In the graveyard island. 521 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,361 [upbeat romantic music playing]