1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:03,420 Previously, on "This Is Us"... 2 00:00:03,476 --> 00:00:05,515 You can be nice to them all you want, Jack. 3 00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,773 But they're not just women and children. 4 00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:09,656 They're the enemy. 5 00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:13,937 I had a brother... he died in the war. 6 00:00:14,130 --> 00:00:16,171 I went to a database for the war memorial. 7 00:00:16,289 --> 00:00:18,609 Nicholas Pearson, he might be dead, 8 00:00:18,776 --> 00:00:20,544 but he didn't die here in Vietnam. 9 00:00:21,039 --> 00:00:23,835 "Jack, last one. C.K." 10 00:00:24,022 --> 00:00:25,937 My dad knew he was alive. 11 00:00:26,121 --> 00:00:28,492 Well, there's a return address. 12 00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:32,507 Bradford, Pennsylvania. You think he's still there? 13 00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:48,999 Thanks, Ken. 14 00:01:50,383 --> 00:01:52,297 - I call the TV. - No, no, no, no. 15 00:01:52,383 --> 00:01:53,821 - Hi. - Hey. 16 00:01:53,907 --> 00:01:56,813 - What? - Uh, no, no, no. Homework first. 17 00:01:56,943 --> 00:01:58,946 - No TV. - What about her? 18 00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:00,782 - I finished. - Hey, guys, come on. 19 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,453 Gear up in your rooms, and then do greater Pittsburgh 20 00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:04,981 - a favor and shower, please. - Hi. 21 00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,411 Hi. 22 00:02:06,512 --> 00:02:08,245 Thank you for picking them up from practice. 23 00:02:08,331 --> 00:02:11,059 Yeah. Yeah, I'm here to serve. 24 00:02:24,026 --> 00:02:28,197 Hey, so I got to go out of town for work tomorrow. 25 00:02:28,289 --> 00:02:29,682 - On a Saturday? - Yeah. 26 00:02:29,768 --> 00:02:33,955 We've got a... a lumberyard we're contracting up in Trenton. 27 00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,822 It's kind of important that I'm there. 28 00:02:35,908 --> 00:02:38,502 - Okay. - Okay. 29 00:02:40,268 --> 00:02:41,710 I'm gonna go upstairs and change. 30 00:02:41,854 --> 00:02:43,471 I'll be right back down. 31 00:02:54,594 --> 00:02:56,486 *THIS IS US* Season 03 Episode 11 32 00:02:56,571 --> 00:02:58,643 *THIS IS US* Episode Title: "Songbird Road (1)" 33 00:03:01,058 --> 00:03:03,699 Wait. You're saying our uncle is still alive? 34 00:03:03,785 --> 00:03:04,919 Okay, that can't be true. 35 00:03:05,036 --> 00:03:06,587 Nicky died in Vietnam. 36 00:03:06,717 --> 00:03:08,219 Randall, didn't you and Dad visit 37 00:03:08,305 --> 00:03:09,379 the memorial in high school? 38 00:03:09,464 --> 00:03:11,363 Wasn't his brother's name on the wall? 39 00:03:11,449 --> 00:03:12,902 He said it was too hard for him. 40 00:03:12,988 --> 00:03:16,230 - Mom. - I-I'm just hearing all this 41 00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:17,488 for the first time, too. 42 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:19,515 Well, maybe Dad, uh, maybe he didn't know. 43 00:03:19,607 --> 00:03:21,417 - Maybe he just was... - He knew. 44 00:03:21,878 --> 00:03:24,449 He knew. I found a postcard that Nicky sent him. 45 00:03:24,564 --> 00:03:26,597 It was dated 1992. 46 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,691 Mind completely blown. 47 00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:32,575 I know this is really hard for everyone to hear 48 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,238 because it means, well, Dad wasn't telling us the... - 49 00:03:38,027 --> 00:03:41,345 Bradford is a six-hour drive from here. 50 00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:43,872 I don't have a phone number, but I have an address. 51 00:03:43,964 --> 00:03:45,641 And guess what. As of 2017, 52 00:03:46,316 --> 00:03:48,566 there was a Nicholas Pearson living there. 53 00:03:49,675 --> 00:03:50,746 Randall. 54 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,800 Whoever wants to come on this trip with me, 55 00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:54,697 - you're more than welcome. - All right. 56 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,894 I'm not getting sworn in for another eight weeks. 57 00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:59,566 Beth has a bunch of job interviews coming up. 58 00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:02,191 As long as I can get somebody to watch the girls, I'm in. 59 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,527 Yes, he's in. Okay. 60 00:04:05,589 --> 00:04:07,206 Mom? Kate? 61 00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:09,808 You want to join our, uh, our little road movie? 62 00:04:09,894 --> 00:04:11,372 It'll be fun. It'll be like Butch and Sundance 63 00:04:11,457 --> 00:04:13,167 and Thelma and Louise. A-And you can pick 64 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,645 whatever character you want; doesn't matter to me. 65 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:16,108 I'm not locked into one in particular. 66 00:04:16,193 --> 00:04:17,956 I'm totally fluid on that. 67 00:04:18,564 --> 00:04:19,681 I'm Sundance. 68 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,068 - I know you are. Yeah. - Yeah. 69 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,386 No. But I will, 70 00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:26,730 I will watch the girls for you, okay? 71 00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:28,363 Mom. 72 00:04:31,746 --> 00:04:34,206 You know what? I... I can't. 73 00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,136 I'm 2,500 miles away and I'm pregnant. 74 00:04:36,222 --> 00:04:38,996 Kate, Dad's brother may be alive. 75 00:04:39,082 --> 00:04:40,503 Don't you want to know who he is? 76 00:04:40,589 --> 00:04:42,660 Guys, I'm out. Gotta go. 77 00:04:42,746 --> 00:04:44,125 - You know what that means. - Hmm? 78 00:04:44,211 --> 00:04:45,769 Butch and Sundan... 79 00:04:55,566 --> 00:04:58,206 Hey, baby, have you seen my cashmere heather V? 80 00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,972 The one that goes perfectly with my uncle-hunter jeans? 81 00:05:02,351 --> 00:05:03,519 What's wrong? 82 00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:05,339 Uh, everything about that sentence, baby. 83 00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:07,964 - Ah. - But, um, also, 84 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,457 feeling kind of nervous about these interviews tomorrow. 85 00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:12,706 You're nervous? Child, please. 86 00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:15,542 If anything, those companies should be nervous to meet you. 87 00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:19,576 Because one of them is about to win the Beth Pearson lottery. 88 00:05:20,057 --> 00:05:22,938 Why would they be nervous to win the Beth Pearson lottery? 89 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,581 I don't know. It sounded cuter in my head. 90 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:28,878 Uh, job interview pep talk, take two. 91 00:05:29,175 --> 00:05:30,321 Beth Pearson, 92 00:05:30,573 --> 00:05:32,856 you are the ultimate prize hire. 93 00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:35,378 You're gonna walk into those firms tomorrow 94 00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:36,979 with your brilliant-ass mind 95 00:05:37,065 --> 00:05:38,885 and that impressive-ass ambition 96 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,281 and those spiky-ass heels, and they gonna be like, 97 00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:43,643 "Beth Pearson, what we got to do to get your actual ass 98 00:05:43,729 --> 00:05:45,714 in this building, Beth Pearson?" 99 00:05:45,819 --> 00:05:47,821 And, yes, I emphasize the Beth Pearson, 100 00:05:47,907 --> 00:05:51,460 because it's more than just a name, it is an attitude. 101 00:05:51,596 --> 00:05:53,165 An attitude that screams, 102 00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:55,354 "You know you want to hire me." 103 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,159 All right, I like take two better. 104 00:05:58,245 --> 00:05:59,489 Thank you very much. 105 00:06:00,042 --> 00:06:01,051 Your mom and Miguel 106 00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:02,611 are gonna stay over, right? 107 00:06:02,703 --> 00:06:05,284 Because I am going to go to dinner with Zoe 108 00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,815 to blow off some post-interview steam. 109 00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:09,552 And by dinner I mean Scotch. 110 00:06:09,644 --> 00:06:11,554 Yeah, they're in. 111 00:06:12,651 --> 00:06:13,830 What about you? 112 00:06:14,135 --> 00:06:15,624 You stressed about what could happen 113 00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,760 when you meet your long lost uncle? 114 00:06:18,768 --> 00:06:20,089 Honestly, I'm more stressed 115 00:06:20,175 --> 00:06:22,065 about what's gonna happen if we don't meet him. 116 00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:24,050 Babe, when I was looking for William, 117 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,324 the only thing I could think about 118 00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:28,587 was what I was gonna find if I ever got to knock on his door. 119 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:31,800 Like, would he look like me? 120 00:06:32,111 --> 00:06:33,690 Would he hug me? 121 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:36,260 Would he slam the door in my face? 122 00:06:37,175 --> 00:06:39,925 But the worst version I could ever imagine 123 00:06:40,011 --> 00:06:43,167 is what would happen if no one ever answered the door. 124 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,948 And I think that's what's gonna happen to Kevin. 125 00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:52,135 So, I got to be there for him. 126 00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:57,305 Well, well. 127 00:06:58,462 --> 00:06:59,565 Look at that. 128 00:06:59,651 --> 00:07:01,060 What? 129 00:07:03,565 --> 00:07:05,215 Hello. There she is. 130 00:07:05,307 --> 00:07:06,823 Sibling road trip, here we go. 131 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:08,542 Thelma's in the house. 132 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,855 - Get my bag for me. - For the road. 133 00:07:13,121 --> 00:07:14,480 - Oh. - Turkey and roast beef 134 00:07:14,566 --> 00:07:16,223 on pimento and an apple. 135 00:07:16,316 --> 00:07:18,142 - God, I love your lunches. - Bye-bye. 136 00:07:18,234 --> 00:07:21,039 ♪ It ain't no use to sit and wonder why ♪ 137 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,682 Regulators, let's ride. 138 00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:25,524 - ♪ If you don't know by now ♪ - Thanks, Mom. 139 00:07:25,609 --> 00:07:28,031 All right. I'll be back before you guys know it. 140 00:07:28,117 --> 00:07:29,750 - Bye, Dad. - You're gonna be in time 141 00:07:29,836 --> 00:07:31,470 - for my game tomorrow, right? - Yes, I will. I will be there. 142 00:07:31,555 --> 00:07:32,595 He's only going to Trenton. 143 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,559 ♪ It'll never do somehow ♪ 144 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,734 - Where's your brother? - In there. 145 00:07:37,297 --> 00:07:39,531 Hey, Kev, you're not gonna say good-bye? 146 00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:40,899 Good-bye. 147 00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:44,461 ♪ Look out your window and I'll be gone ♪ 148 00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:48,146 ♪ You're the reason I'm travelin' on ♪ 149 00:07:48,232 --> 00:07:50,901 ♪ Well, don't think twice ♪ 150 00:07:50,993 --> 00:07:52,936 ♪ It's all right ♪ 151 00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:55,586 Mom. 152 00:07:55,672 --> 00:07:59,610 ♪ Ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe ♪ 153 00:07:59,702 --> 00:08:02,445 ♪ The light I never knowed ♪ 154 00:08:02,606 --> 00:08:04,318 Love you. 155 00:08:04,404 --> 00:08:09,020 ♪ Ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe ♪ 156 00:08:09,385 --> 00:08:12,656 ♪ I'm on the dark side of the road ♪ 157 00:08:12,748 --> 00:08:17,558 ♪ But I wish there was something you would do or say ♪ 158 00:08:17,710 --> 00:08:21,480 ♪ To try and make me change my mind and stay ♪ 159 00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:25,977 ♪ We never did too much talkin', anyway ♪ 160 00:08:26,063 --> 00:08:29,734 ♪ Don't think twice, it's all right. ♪ 161 00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:33,972 This is... crazy. Right? 162 00:08:34,058 --> 00:08:37,216 I mean, months and months of searching, and here we are, huh? 163 00:08:37,348 --> 00:08:39,668 Road trippin'! The Big Three, 164 00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:42,161 about ready to unlock the great mystery of our uncle. 165 00:08:42,247 --> 00:08:43,287 I'm gonna need to pee soon. 166 00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:44,596 Pee? We've been on... 167 00:08:44,688 --> 00:08:46,334 It's like 12 and a half minutes we've been driving. 168 00:08:46,419 --> 00:08:48,106 Okay, well, I'm pregnant, and I pee a lot, 169 00:08:48,192 --> 00:08:49,248 so you just have to deal with it. 170 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:50,670 I've got road trip snacks available 171 00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:51,974 whenever anybody wants them. 172 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,865 Lots of nuts and seeds, many pitted fruits. 173 00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,536 - I'm good. - Randall? 174 00:08:57,622 --> 00:08:58,732 Yeah? 175 00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:00,849 You give away pennies on Halloween, don't you? 176 00:09:00,935 --> 00:09:02,286 Be honest with me. 177 00:09:02,372 --> 00:09:03,928 - Full-size candy bars, for the record. - Yeah? 178 00:09:04,013 --> 00:09:06,606 - Yeah. Only house on the block. - Tell the truth, it's raisins. 179 00:09:06,692 --> 00:09:09,231 - It's healthy raisins. - Handful of raisins. 180 00:09:09,622 --> 00:09:11,551 You know, remember, I live in a house 181 00:09:11,637 --> 00:09:13,567 with four very willful and opinionated women, 182 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,090 so I'm impervious to your mocking. 183 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,223 So, how old would Dad's brother be now? 184 00:09:24,488 --> 00:09:25,989 Seventy. 185 00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:29,512 I wonder why Dad told us his brother was dead. 186 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,375 - I don't know. - Mm. 187 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,895 But we're about to embark on some Shakespearean-level 188 00:09:33,999 --> 00:09:35,286 tragedy, I'm afraid. 189 00:09:35,372 --> 00:09:38,903 How are you so... cool about this? 190 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,051 Dad basically lied to us his entire life, 191 00:09:41,137 --> 00:09:43,454 - a-and it doesn't freak you out? - Not really. 192 00:09:43,762 --> 00:09:45,443 When you find out your mom's been lying to you 193 00:09:45,528 --> 00:09:46,818 about your birth father for 36 years, 194 00:09:46,903 --> 00:09:48,348 not much can rattle you after that. 195 00:09:48,434 --> 00:09:51,496 ♪ I just want to stay here now... ♪ 196 00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:53,582 I think this is really rocking Mom's world 197 00:09:53,668 --> 00:09:55,184 to hear all this stuff about Dad. 198 00:09:57,961 --> 00:10:00,153 That smells so good. 199 00:10:00,387 --> 00:10:02,332 Do you think Dad will bring Nicky home, 200 00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:04,512 like he brought home Grandpa William? 201 00:10:05,512 --> 00:10:08,325 No, I don't think so, honey. 202 00:10:08,779 --> 00:10:11,481 He sure likes bringing people home, though. Just sayin'. 203 00:10:14,153 --> 00:10:15,215 Hey, Tess, 204 00:10:15,395 --> 00:10:16,970 hit me with some chocolate chips, would you? 205 00:10:17,055 --> 00:10:19,629 Here you go. Excuse me. 206 00:10:24,286 --> 00:10:25,848 Is Grandma okay? 207 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,786 Yeah, Grandma's just a little tired. 208 00:10:27,872 --> 00:10:29,905 All right, let's get this dough going in the oven 209 00:10:29,991 --> 00:10:33,002 before I eat that raw. Teaspoon. 210 00:10:50,335 --> 00:10:51,491 Hey, Jack. 211 00:10:51,577 --> 00:10:52,883 I'm going to live in a big house 212 00:10:52,975 --> 00:10:54,499 on a lake someday. 213 00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:56,624 It's gonna have a dock for my boat. 214 00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:58,389 Oh, yeah? 215 00:10:58,561 --> 00:10:59,725 I think you got to be rich 216 00:10:59,811 --> 00:11:01,850 to have a house and a boat on a lake. 217 00:11:02,077 --> 00:11:04,303 I will be. I'm going to be a doctor. 218 00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:05,756 Maybe a surgeon. 219 00:11:05,842 --> 00:11:07,233 You're smart enough. 220 00:11:07,319 --> 00:11:09,983 Floyd Morton's dad is a surgeon, and he's pretty rich. 221 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,163 I need to get really rich, though, 222 00:11:12,249 --> 00:11:13,975 not pretty rich. 223 00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:15,326 Dang, Nicky. 224 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,983 How many boats do you need? 225 00:11:17,069 --> 00:11:18,176 Just one. 226 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,968 Two houses, though. 227 00:11:22,889 --> 00:11:24,960 Big ol' houses on a big ol' lake. 228 00:11:25,132 --> 00:11:28,176 Big ol' houses on a big ol' lake. 229 00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:39,835 Well, we doing this or not? 230 00:11:58,639 --> 00:12:00,991 How'd you get my home address? 231 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,311 Come on. 232 00:12:08,397 --> 00:12:09,842 I don't think he's there, Sundance. 233 00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:11,912 Yeah. Kev, hey, we tried. 234 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,808 Okay? It wasn't meant to be. 235 00:12:13,894 --> 00:12:16,116 And we should go, 'cause I have to pee. 236 00:12:17,021 --> 00:12:18,881 You can't write me at home. 237 00:12:19,422 --> 00:12:20,564 Got it? 238 00:12:22,264 --> 00:12:24,998 You drove all the way from Pittsburgh to tell me that? 239 00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,428 That's how much I mean it. 240 00:12:32,998 --> 00:12:34,608 Take care. 241 00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:37,988 Oh, really? Wonderful. You're breaking in? 242 00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:39,618 I'm not breaking in. I'm trying to see if anyone lives here. 243 00:12:39,703 --> 00:12:41,256 Somebody does. 244 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,209 Nicholas Pearson? 245 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,582 Yeah. 246 00:12:58,756 --> 00:13:00,061 I'm Kevin Pearson. 247 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,639 I'm, uh... 248 00:13:03,839 --> 00:13:05,841 I'm Jack Pearson's son. 249 00:13:07,777 --> 00:13:09,311 You want a beer? 250 00:13:10,545 --> 00:13:12,537 I don't drink anymore. 251 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,826 I got Nesquik. 252 00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:27,696 Jack know you're here? 253 00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:30,891 He's dead. 254 00:13:32,951 --> 00:13:34,381 Dead. 255 00:13:34,703 --> 00:13:36,037 When'd he pass? 256 00:13:36,373 --> 00:13:38,076 1998. 257 00:13:39,309 --> 00:13:40,819 '98. 258 00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:03,755 You coming in or not? 259 00:14:15,644 --> 00:14:16,965 Mmm. 260 00:14:17,201 --> 00:14:19,519 I got some Fritos, also, if you're hungry. 261 00:14:19,722 --> 00:14:21,176 No, I'm... 262 00:14:21,324 --> 00:14:22,637 That'll be fine. 263 00:14:30,818 --> 00:14:31,966 You know, 264 00:14:32,847 --> 00:14:34,623 I had a house once. 265 00:14:36,286 --> 00:14:37,579 But this is better. 266 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:39,920 It's much more manageable. 267 00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,279 Mm. 268 00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:46,756 I, uh, have something for you. 269 00:14:58,717 --> 00:15:00,428 I thought maybe you'd want them. 270 00:15:09,381 --> 00:15:10,850 Good men. 271 00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:20,116 Sorry. 272 00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:21,857 It's a bad habit. 273 00:15:22,045 --> 00:15:23,435 One of many. 274 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,222 Mm. Jesus. 275 00:15:26,513 --> 00:15:28,584 Nicky, how do you screw up chocolate milk? 276 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,443 Well, it can't be as bad as Mom's chili lasagna. 277 00:15:33,529 --> 00:15:34,638 Yeah. 278 00:15:36,391 --> 00:15:37,768 Remember when we tried 279 00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:39,628 feeding it to Mrs. Atkins' collie? 280 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,072 Oh, yeah. Even Ms. Atkins' collie 281 00:15:42,164 --> 00:15:43,717 didn't want to eat that crap. 282 00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:45,568 - No. - Yeah. 283 00:15:48,419 --> 00:15:49,740 Oh... 284 00:16:05,342 --> 00:16:06,978 You diabetic? 285 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,386 My brother's adopted. 286 00:16:15,563 --> 00:16:16,773 It's true. 287 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,671 Explains why he's black. 288 00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:21,597 That's also true. 289 00:16:25,574 --> 00:16:28,176 Our dad told us you died in Vietnam. 290 00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:31,543 Uh-huh. 291 00:16:33,921 --> 00:16:35,788 Seems you didn't. 292 00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:38,668 Uh-uh. 293 00:16:42,053 --> 00:16:43,855 Oh, come on. 294 00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:47,160 Sir, I know this may be hard to talk about, 295 00:16:47,246 --> 00:16:50,176 but do you have any idea why he might have told us that? 296 00:16:53,616 --> 00:16:56,426 You wasted your time coming here. 297 00:16:59,574 --> 00:17:02,355 Just... please, leave. 298 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,616 No. 299 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:12,136 Sir, I didn't want to come here. 300 00:17:14,004 --> 00:17:15,632 And I didn't want to... 301 00:17:15,724 --> 00:17:17,277 find out these answers, but... 302 00:17:17,363 --> 00:17:19,652 my brother literally traveled around the world and back 303 00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:20,922 to learn about our dad, 304 00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:22,076 and it's led him here. 305 00:17:22,256 --> 00:17:23,965 So we're not going anywhere. 306 00:17:29,121 --> 00:17:30,652 Yeah. 307 00:17:32,605 --> 00:17:34,902 You're Jack's kids, all right. 308 00:17:44,579 --> 00:17:46,332 I got drafted. 309 00:17:46,676 --> 00:17:50,449 Your father enlisted to look for me. 310 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,113 I was a medic 311 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:57,301 who sampled his own inventory. 312 00:17:57,541 --> 00:18:00,496 I mean, I sampled a lot of stuff. 313 00:18:00,582 --> 00:18:03,379 I mean, whatever junk came my way. 314 00:18:04,681 --> 00:18:06,532 I, um... 315 00:18:07,164 --> 00:18:08,793 I hated the war. 316 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,629 I hated myself. 317 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:16,051 And your father tried to clean me up. 318 00:18:18,608 --> 00:18:20,121 It didn't work. 319 00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:22,121 Finally, they, um, 320 00:18:22,327 --> 00:18:23,738 pulled me out of there 321 00:18:24,148 --> 00:18:26,733 for, uh, psychiatric reasons. 322 00:18:27,246 --> 00:18:29,043 You know, some get homesick. 323 00:18:29,171 --> 00:18:30,957 I got war-sick. 324 00:18:34,524 --> 00:18:36,754 Then why did Dad tell us you died there? 325 00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:43,043 He should never have come for me. 326 00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:51,980 He should never have come for me. 327 00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:09,185 Mmm. 328 00:20:19,589 --> 00:20:20,837 Hmm? 329 00:20:20,923 --> 00:20:22,339 Mm. 330 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,703 Hey. No. 331 00:20:51,046 --> 00:20:53,015 Cam on, chú. 332 00:20:53,288 --> 00:20:55,003 Không có chi. 333 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,613 Let's go fishing. 334 00:21:22,102 --> 00:21:23,486 Okay. 335 00:21:23,594 --> 00:21:26,163 I think we found our spot. What do you think? 336 00:21:26,696 --> 00:21:28,736 Let's go fishing, huh? 337 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,090 All right, now, 338 00:21:30,176 --> 00:21:31,525 see this? 339 00:21:31,775 --> 00:21:33,173 Secret weapon. 340 00:21:38,023 --> 00:21:40,196 Uh-huh. See? 341 00:21:45,289 --> 00:21:46,557 Okay. 342 00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:48,752 Watch this. 343 00:21:51,321 --> 00:21:53,122 Watch out. 344 00:21:56,710 --> 00:21:58,548 Holy mackerel. 345 00:21:59,613 --> 00:22:01,590 All right! 346 00:22:01,691 --> 00:22:03,333 Come to Papa, baby. 347 00:22:03,713 --> 00:22:05,212 Oh, yeah, we did good. 348 00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:08,048 Here. 349 00:22:08,405 --> 00:22:09,884 It's bigger than you. 350 00:22:09,975 --> 00:22:11,385 Yeah. 351 00:22:14,225 --> 00:22:15,756 What do you think? 352 00:22:15,941 --> 00:22:18,743 Pretty good, right? Go ahead. Toss him in. 353 00:22:18,829 --> 00:22:20,313 Oh, yeah. 354 00:22:20,597 --> 00:22:22,674 Dinner. Beautiful. 355 00:22:22,978 --> 00:22:24,847 Toss him in. Oh! 356 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,464 Oh! Oh! Oh! 357 00:22:26,556 --> 00:22:28,425 Oh! Oh, oh, oh! There you go. 358 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:30,324 There he is. Toss him in. 359 00:22:30,601 --> 00:22:32,047 I think we're good. 360 00:22:32,237 --> 00:22:34,539 What do you think, should we go find another spot? 361 00:22:34,859 --> 00:22:37,750 All right, Captain. Whatever you say. 362 00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:40,875 Plenty more where that came from, huh? 363 00:22:47,629 --> 00:22:50,781 Okay. I like this spot, too. 364 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,090 What do you think? 365 00:22:53,182 --> 00:22:55,070 I think so. I feel it here. 366 00:22:55,390 --> 00:22:57,487 Okay. 367 00:23:01,354 --> 00:23:04,469 No, no, no, no, no. No, no. 368 00:23:04,561 --> 00:23:05,969 No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 369 00:23:06,054 --> 00:23:08,364 No, no, no! 370 00:23:09,243 --> 00:23:10,496 Watch out. 371 00:23:10,582 --> 00:23:12,770 Watch out! Get-get off the boat! 372 00:23:12,856 --> 00:23:15,342 Get off the boat! Get off the boat! 373 00:23:15,504 --> 00:23:17,856 Off the boat! Off the boat! 374 00:23:19,102 --> 00:23:20,551 Jump! 375 00:23:34,628 --> 00:23:37,151 - Murillo, what happened? - A boat exploded. 376 00:23:37,264 --> 00:23:39,245 I think one of our guys was on it. 377 00:24:10,093 --> 00:24:12,128 Sarge! 378 00:24:20,296 --> 00:24:22,906 Lanh. Lanh? 379 00:24:22,992 --> 00:24:25,126 Lanh? Lanh?! 380 00:24:29,857 --> 00:24:31,726 Let's go. Go! 381 00:25:07,185 --> 00:25:09,927 What did you do, huh?! What did you do?! 382 00:25:10,013 --> 00:25:11,911 What did you do, Nicky? 383 00:25:13,223 --> 00:25:15,310 He was just a kid. 384 00:25:16,427 --> 00:25:18,232 He was just a kid. 385 00:25:20,172 --> 00:25:22,411 I'm done! I'm done! 386 00:25:31,541 --> 00:25:35,478 Lanh! Lanh! 387 00:25:35,741 --> 00:25:37,684 Lanh! 388 00:25:45,551 --> 00:25:47,298 I'm sorry. 389 00:26:21,803 --> 00:26:24,973 Shrinks will get his head on straight, Sarge. 390 00:26:26,922 --> 00:26:30,090 Murillo, Boone, 391 00:26:30,176 --> 00:26:31,785 you guys are on the wire. 392 00:26:31,871 --> 00:26:33,697 Murphy, Townie, the rest of you gear up. 393 00:26:33,783 --> 00:26:35,727 We're out at 0500. 394 00:26:57,293 --> 00:26:59,666 I never got to, um... 395 00:27:05,025 --> 00:27:07,259 I never got to tell him. 396 00:27:09,605 --> 00:27:11,923 I never got to tell him. 397 00:27:17,674 --> 00:27:20,143 Then we built the curved snowbank so we'd have 398 00:27:20,229 --> 00:27:21,830 - a bobsled turn. - Oh, yeah. 399 00:27:21,916 --> 00:27:23,382 Yeah. 400 00:27:23,474 --> 00:27:27,236 Yeah, except the sled went straight through the snowbank 401 00:27:27,322 --> 00:27:29,228 and almost onto the Bellarmine Parkway. 402 00:27:29,908 --> 00:27:31,683 So much for the Squaw Valley Olympics. 403 00:27:31,829 --> 00:27:33,908 Yeah. 404 00:27:44,794 --> 00:27:45,962 Jack... 405 00:27:46,048 --> 00:27:48,619 No. Nicky, no. 406 00:27:53,312 --> 00:27:57,220 No, I... I don't want to go back there. 407 00:27:57,955 --> 00:28:00,511 I want to leave that right where it is. 408 00:28:00,791 --> 00:28:04,213 You don't have to talk. Just... listen. 409 00:28:07,453 --> 00:28:11,095 I've relived that day so many times in my head. 410 00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:16,720 I-I-I didn't mean for that boy... 411 00:28:16,806 --> 00:28:18,619 - Nicky... - Just let me say... 412 00:28:18,705 --> 00:28:21,498 Just stop, stop. I'm begging you, stop. 413 00:28:21,728 --> 00:28:23,475 Okay? No more. 414 00:28:24,330 --> 00:28:28,280 And-and stop... stop sending letters to my house. 415 00:28:28,406 --> 00:28:31,657 I've got a wife and a family. I moved on. 416 00:28:32,588 --> 00:28:35,546 I wish I was wired differently, but I'm not. Okay? 417 00:28:35,638 --> 00:28:38,983 I-I can't just turn back. 418 00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:52,041 It's good to see you, Nick. 419 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,408 Did I ruin your life? 420 00:29:00,738 --> 00:29:03,400 No, Nicky, I... 421 00:29:04,373 --> 00:29:05,942 I have a good life. 422 00:29:26,703 --> 00:29:28,461 Gosh. 423 00:29:35,015 --> 00:29:36,499 Your wife is beautiful. 424 00:29:36,632 --> 00:29:38,304 Yes, she is. 425 00:29:39,304 --> 00:29:41,156 Her name is Rebecca. 426 00:29:42,445 --> 00:29:45,875 And that's Kate, Kevin and Randall. 427 00:29:47,179 --> 00:29:50,187 - Randall is a different color. - Yes, he is. 428 00:29:51,843 --> 00:29:53,523 He found me. 429 00:29:56,493 --> 00:29:57,914 Mm. 430 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,343 You have a nice house. 431 00:30:14,664 --> 00:30:17,570 So... yeah. 432 00:30:38,894 --> 00:30:42,222 I won't... I won't write you anymore. 433 00:30:42,855 --> 00:30:44,785 You can go. 434 00:30:48,506 --> 00:30:51,409 - Nicky, I... - Just go. 435 00:31:21,376 --> 00:31:24,157 You know, and the women... The Vietnamese women... 436 00:31:24,243 --> 00:31:28,657 Um... when they, uh... lost someone 437 00:31:28,743 --> 00:31:32,470 during that war, they'd collapse. 438 00:31:33,001 --> 00:31:35,220 It's like their-their bones were being pulled 439 00:31:35,306 --> 00:31:36,727 from their body. 440 00:31:37,063 --> 00:31:38,845 And, like... 441 00:31:39,431 --> 00:31:41,384 they'd fold into... 442 00:31:42,009 --> 00:31:44,524 someplace in themselves, and, um, 443 00:31:44,634 --> 00:31:48,149 squat down and just wail. 444 00:31:48,321 --> 00:31:50,438 You'd just hear it, you know, 445 00:31:50,524 --> 00:31:52,829 over and over and over. 446 00:31:53,368 --> 00:31:55,024 Pure grief. 447 00:31:55,485 --> 00:31:57,548 Yeah. My, uh... 448 00:31:58,064 --> 00:32:00,665 my memory of the war... 449 00:32:00,751 --> 00:32:03,063 It fades a little bit every day. 450 00:32:05,188 --> 00:32:07,157 Except for that mother's face. 451 00:32:07,689 --> 00:32:10,548 She's with me, wailing. 452 00:32:12,596 --> 00:32:14,235 Um... 453 00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:18,469 I worry that that's gonna be the last damn thing I remember 454 00:32:18,561 --> 00:32:20,212 when my time comes. 455 00:32:24,524 --> 00:32:27,220 You know, your old man... 456 00:32:28,327 --> 00:32:32,290 He saw everything in black and white, no gray. 457 00:32:32,415 --> 00:32:35,867 It's... it's why he had two lives. 458 00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:40,048 Uh, the one before I ruined everything. 459 00:32:40,860 --> 00:32:42,681 The one after. 460 00:32:43,244 --> 00:32:44,634 And he... 461 00:32:44,741 --> 00:32:48,111 he walked away from the first life. 462 00:32:51,706 --> 00:32:56,064 And once Jack picked a direction, 463 00:32:56,469 --> 00:32:58,925 he never changed course. 464 00:33:06,804 --> 00:33:07,927 You know, he put 465 00:33:08,019 --> 00:33:10,187 the war behind him, and 466 00:33:10,336 --> 00:33:12,258 he never looked back. 467 00:33:13,993 --> 00:33:16,039 I wasn't so lucky. 468 00:33:46,493 --> 00:33:48,266 How did he die? 469 00:33:53,312 --> 00:33:54,782 Uh... 470 00:33:57,533 --> 00:33:59,167 There was a fire. 471 00:34:02,329 --> 00:34:05,563 He got us out, but he had a heart attack 472 00:34:05,649 --> 00:34:07,610 from smoke inhalation. 473 00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:16,547 Oh, damn. 474 00:34:21,991 --> 00:34:26,036 You know, I'm feeling a little worn down 475 00:34:26,172 --> 00:34:29,360 from all this reliving of these happy memories, 476 00:34:29,446 --> 00:34:33,977 so, um... I think I'm just gonna call it a day. 477 00:34:34,125 --> 00:34:37,094 - Sir... - I'm going to call it a day, son. 478 00:35:17,217 --> 00:35:18,774 Hi. 479 00:35:19,209 --> 00:35:20,688 How was it? 480 00:35:23,937 --> 00:35:28,133 Bec, I didn't tell you the truth about where I went today. 481 00:35:29,256 --> 00:35:30,485 Um... 482 00:35:32,633 --> 00:35:36,524 I went to go see someone, 483 00:35:36,810 --> 00:35:41,375 um, someone that I'd known from the war. 484 00:35:42,255 --> 00:35:47,026 He'd been having a rough go of things lately, and... 485 00:35:47,368 --> 00:35:51,579 m-mostly because of something bad that happened there. 486 00:35:52,739 --> 00:35:54,305 Something he did. 487 00:35:56,485 --> 00:35:57,617 Um... and, 488 00:35:57,718 --> 00:36:00,704 well, we used to be close. 489 00:36:01,227 --> 00:36:04,790 And then we had a falling out because of that. 490 00:36:05,798 --> 00:36:06,993 And he reached out, 491 00:36:07,079 --> 00:36:10,719 and I decided to go see him. 492 00:36:15,522 --> 00:36:16,922 Well, did it help? 493 00:36:21,813 --> 00:36:24,102 Yeah. A little. 494 00:36:24,871 --> 00:36:26,571 Maybe? I don't know. 495 00:36:29,612 --> 00:36:30,930 You know, there are people 496 00:36:31,016 --> 00:36:33,024 - that you can talk to... - I'm gonna go clean up. 497 00:36:40,171 --> 00:36:42,452 Can't tell you how good it is to be home. 498 00:37:14,750 --> 00:37:16,312 Kids are getting ready for bed, 499 00:37:16,398 --> 00:37:19,601 but I think after consuming 11 chocolate chip cookies, 500 00:37:19,825 --> 00:37:21,427 they're not gonna sleep for a week. 501 00:37:21,659 --> 00:37:23,210 They found him. 502 00:37:25,437 --> 00:37:26,906 Jack's brother. 503 00:37:27,432 --> 00:37:28,741 Wow. 504 00:37:29,790 --> 00:37:32,820 I never thought th... Well, tell me. 505 00:37:32,906 --> 00:37:36,542 I-I, I don't know, they just texted that they found him. 506 00:37:36,762 --> 00:37:38,633 Details to follow. 507 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,895 You okay? 508 00:37:43,748 --> 00:37:45,349 Could I have done more? 509 00:37:45,485 --> 00:37:46,890 You tried, Rebecca. 510 00:37:46,976 --> 00:37:48,226 No... 511 00:37:48,407 --> 00:37:50,461 When Jack first got back from Vietnam, 512 00:37:50,578 --> 00:37:52,734 I understand why I respected his privacy. 513 00:37:52,851 --> 00:37:54,187 The wounds were fresh. 514 00:37:54,273 --> 00:37:57,611 But all those years later, why? 515 00:37:57,827 --> 00:38:01,765 Why didn't I ask him more? 516 00:38:03,778 --> 00:38:08,090 You know, Jack was my closest friend, 517 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,328 for over 20 years, 518 00:38:12,015 --> 00:38:13,859 but I didn't know him completely. 519 00:38:14,023 --> 00:38:16,124 Not the stuff from before. 520 00:38:16,758 --> 00:38:21,570 I think that there was a darkness inside of him. 521 00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:24,242 I think that he was afraid. 522 00:38:24,547 --> 00:38:26,484 You know, if that darkness got out, then, 523 00:38:26,593 --> 00:38:29,429 it might swallow up the light that he got from you. 524 00:38:29,781 --> 00:38:31,505 From the kids. 525 00:38:33,023 --> 00:38:34,812 And make no mistake: 526 00:38:35,624 --> 00:38:37,617 you and the kids were everything. 527 00:38:40,121 --> 00:38:42,293 I used to love that answer. 528 00:38:42,769 --> 00:38:45,175 'Cause I wanted to believe it. 529 00:38:47,699 --> 00:38:49,214 But now? 530 00:38:54,159 --> 00:38:56,246 I want the truth. 531 00:39:05,212 --> 00:39:06,755 Ohh! Okay. 532 00:39:07,111 --> 00:39:08,642 I got real road snacks. 533 00:39:08,734 --> 00:39:13,990 I got SweeTarts, protein bars, jerky, smoked almonds, sodas 534 00:39:14,082 --> 00:39:15,825 and Ding effing Dongs. 535 00:39:15,917 --> 00:39:18,416 Now, leave me be. Kate, did you urinate? 536 00:39:18,510 --> 00:39:21,713 - Yes. - Kevin, you break it, you bought it. 537 00:39:22,466 --> 00:39:25,119 - What's wrong? - I want to go with you. 538 00:39:25,268 --> 00:39:26,916 I like you better than all of them. 539 00:39:27,002 --> 00:39:29,596 Well, you shouldn't, because they're pretty great. 540 00:39:29,697 --> 00:39:32,233 And trust me, there's plenty your old man gets wrong. 541 00:39:32,385 --> 00:39:34,783 - Yeah, right. - No, I do. 542 00:39:35,525 --> 00:39:39,375 Hey, look, y-you got to watch out for that, bud, 543 00:39:39,461 --> 00:39:42,132 because a-a kid can either repeat the mistakes 544 00:39:42,218 --> 00:39:44,851 of his old man, or he corrects them. 545 00:39:45,062 --> 00:39:47,757 It's hard to explain, but, uh... 546 00:39:50,568 --> 00:39:53,734 Hey, chip in. Help your mom. 547 00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:01,925 That's no way to live, huh? 548 00:40:03,470 --> 00:40:05,995 All messed up, living alone for 40-some-odd years 549 00:40:06,081 --> 00:40:08,214 in a leaky sardine can? 550 00:40:11,289 --> 00:40:14,259 I can't leave him like my Dad did. 551 00:40:50,815 --> 00:40:52,377 Nicky? 552 00:40:55,359 --> 00:40:57,148 Nicky! 553 00:41:23,797 --> 00:41:26,233 Everything okay in here? You all right? 554 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,770 I never got to tell him... 555 00:41:42,958 --> 00:41:45,887 it was an accident. 556 00:42:02,507 --> 00:42:05,266 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 557 00:42:05,734 --> 00:42:08,930 Sync corrections by srjanapala