1 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,287 [MAN ON PA] Dr. Branson, please call 5914. 2 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,873 Dr. Branson, please call 5914. 3 00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,543 [METAL SCREECHING] 4 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,754 [PHONE RINGING] 5 00:00:56,556 --> 00:01:00,643 [GIRL] It's like, every time you turn on the TV or look at a magazine, 6 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:04,773 it's, "Oh, my God, this cake is so delicious." 7 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,524 And, like, your reward or something. 8 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:10,862 And then, you turn the page, and there's some sad, fat "before" girl, 9 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:13,448 and she's all, "I hate myself." 10 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,408 And then, the thin "after" girl goes, 11 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,827 "I did this diet, and now I'm happy, and everyone loves me." 12 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,871 What about the chocolate cake? 13 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,956 It's like they're trying to drive us crazy. 14 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,917 [GIRL SIGHS] "Society's to blame." 15 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:29,214 The world is so unfair. I have to die." 16 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,341 There's no point in blaming everybody. 17 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:33,593 Live with it. 18 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,971 Ellen, do you think there's a way you can express that 19 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,015 without discounting Penny's feelings? 20 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,394 - [CHUCKLES] - ["FALSE JEOPARDY" PLAYING] 21 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,860 ♪ It's not the end ♪ 22 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,737 - ♪ It's not the end ♪ - [SCOFFS] 23 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:56,574 ♪ It's false jeopardy ♪ 24 00:01:56,658 --> 00:02:00,453 [SONG CONTINUES] 25 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,289 ♪ I won't be let down ♪ 26 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:08,837 ♪ It's not the end, it's not the end ♪ 27 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,050 Bitch. 28 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,303 Told you you'd lose. You owe me a carton of Camels. 29 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,221 [CHUCKLES] 30 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:24,060 ♪ Just try and be sure ♪ 31 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:29,065 ♪ It's not the end, it's not the end ♪ 32 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,986 ♪ It's false jeopardy ♪ 33 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,865 [SONG CONTINUES] 34 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:40,535 ♪ I won't be let down ♪ 35 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:44,664 ♪ It's not the end, it's not the end ♪ 36 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:48,251 ♪ It's not the end It's not the end ♪ 37 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,591 [DOORBELL RINGS] 38 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:03,391 Oh, my God. Look at you. Your parents are gonna kill you. 39 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:08,062 No more trips to TJ, Rosa. I think they put cement in your lips. 40 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,733 Your mom said, "Take the room in the garage." 41 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,152 There's a room in the garage now? 42 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:17,822 Every time I come home, you have a new face and there's more house. 43 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,326 - It was gonna be your mother's office. - She's not my mother. 44 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,121 [ELLEN GRUNTING, PANTING] 45 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:30,084 [GRUNTING CONTINUES] 46 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,549 - [KNOCKING ON DOOR] - [ROSA] Dinner is half an hour! 47 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,761 - Your father and mother are eating out. - Okay. 48 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,808 - [ELLEN] Are you on that dating app again? - [GIRL] No. Come on, what? 49 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,437 - You know what I'm doing. Come on. - Oh. 50 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,731 - Yeah. - Yeah. 51 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:54,859 - All right, go. Get ready. - [EXHALES] 52 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,195 - All right, ready? - Mm-hmm. 53 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,948 280 for the pork, 350 for the buttered noodles, 54 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,159 125 for the buttered beans, 150 for the roll, and 50… 55 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,621 No, 75 for butter. 56 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:12,043 - You got it. All of it. Dang. - [SIGHS] Yes. 57 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,379 Oh, my God. It's like you have calorie Asperger's. 58 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,965 - I mean, hold the applause. - You're a pro. 59 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,551 Okay, wait. Now, so how many… how many calories you think boogers have? 60 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,095 Ay, don't say that. 61 00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,264 What? She probably knows. You know, right? 62 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,730 - Not just the beans, the meat. - I'd say snot's pretty low. 63 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,858 Maybe, like, five to ten, depending on the size of the pickin's. 64 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:36,943 - The meat. - Mm-hmm. 65 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,821 - And you are both being disgusting. - [SNICKERS] 66 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:42,824 "The meat." 67 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,951 [LAUGHING] 68 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:48,454 You know, you used to have a jar that you kept all your boogers in? 69 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,956 - No, I didn't. - You absolutely did. 70 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,124 - You probably did. - Hello! 71 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:55,211 - Stop. No, I didn't. - Sorry we couldn't pick you up. 72 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,671 [SIGHS] Work. 73 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:02,719 [CHUCKLES] Mmm. Did you get settled in? 74 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:07,473 [WOMAN] So, Jack is very upset with you. He's very worried. 75 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,976 Why doesn't Jack tell me himself? 76 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,729 Your father would rather you and I have this talk, okay? 77 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,940 Right. 78 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,651 It's not that he doesn't care. He cares too much. 79 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,321 You don't know. 80 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,452 [SIGHS] The doctor said you were defiant and a bad influence on the other girls. 81 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,788 Is this what it's gonna be now? Are you proud of yourself? 82 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,165 I'm maintaining. 83 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,004 I have to weigh you. 84 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,505 The agreement was you could live here 85 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,133 as long as you kept up your end of the bargain. 86 00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,969 - You wanna go back to your mother's? - Mom moved to Phoenix with Olive. 87 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,387 Yeah, that's what I mean. Phoenix. 88 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,182 We can put you on the bus, first thing tomorrow. 89 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,076 [SIGHS] Jesus. 90 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,996 - I had that cold, and I… - I don't wanna hear it. Get on. 91 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,171 - It's not at zero. - Stop. Stop it. Get on. 92 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,094 [SIGHS] God. 93 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,054 Okay. 94 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,681 Turn towards me. 95 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:36,521 [CAMERA CLICKS] 96 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,734 Do you see that? Do you see what you look like? 97 00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:43,861 Yeah. 98 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,698 Do you think that's beautiful? 99 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,076 No. 100 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,621 So, what are you gonna do about it? 101 00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,295 Jesus Christ. We can't do this again. I can't do this again. 102 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:07,802 [KICKS SCALE] 103 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:17,019 - [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] - [DOOR SQUEAKING] 104 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,776 [FAINT ARGUING] 105 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,452 [KNOCKING] 106 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,329 [ARGUING CONTINUES] 107 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,585 You have a car now, right? 108 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:42,587 Yeah. 109 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,090 [WHISPERS] What? 110 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,009 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 111 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:51,220 You're using me to burn off half a pack of lifesavers or some shit. 112 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:55,308 - The view is best at the top. - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 113 00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:01,105 Hey, look. Don't tell anyone, okay? 114 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,231 [LAUGHS] 115 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,567 - A butterfly tattoo? - Yeah. 116 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,943 Were you drunk? 117 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,240 - No. Butterflies are classic. - They're retarded. 118 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:15,620 Okay, I'm sorry I didn't have your artistic eye to advise me, 119 00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,747 so I got a retarded butterfly. 120 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:20,166 I mean, it's pretty. 121 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:28,007 Dad and Susan are gonna kick me out, or drag me to that treatment. 122 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,761 - Okay, so eat. - I eat. 123 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,307 You know that I love you like a full sister, 124 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,560 but you look like absolute crap. 125 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,521 And every time I ask you why you do this, 126 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,900 I always get some stupid non-answer from you. 127 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,069 At least, I'm a cheap date. 128 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,363 That stuff goes further on an empty stomach. 129 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,658 [SIGHS] 130 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,828 I've got it under control. 131 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,415 Nothing bad's gonna happen. 132 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,337 How many people do you think are down there? 133 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,299 Like, two million? 134 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:18,599 I bet a bunch of them who are about to die just said the exact same thing. 135 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:31,404 - That's not breakfast. - Neither is coffee. Dad home? 136 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,323 He had an early meeting. 137 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:36,993 Hey. 138 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,208 You have a choice. 139 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,044 There's one last person that we want you to see, a specialist. 140 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:50,006 - It wasn't easy getting an appointment… - I think I will call my mom. 141 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,509 - I should at least try Phoenix. - We spoke to your mother last night. 142 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:58,139 She says it's not a good time for her to take this on. 143 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,516 But she sends hugs. 144 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,477 [SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING] 145 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,594 [MUSIC STOPS] 146 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,391 Now, you know me, I enjoy people, but your mother is selfish. 147 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:46,270 Do you think we wanted to stay in the Valley? North Hollywood. [SCOFFS] 148 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:52,818 But… with this and school for you and Kelly, only thing we can afford. 149 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,906 Not that I… love the Westside. You can never find parking. 150 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:03,162 [SIGHS] Well, at least on our side, we have Pier 1, which I love. 151 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,165 Over there at the Grove, all you have is Cost Plus World Market. 152 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,000 I mean, all that is just junk. 153 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,169 You too? Was it hard getting an appointment? 154 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,589 We were on the waiting list for six months. 155 00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:16,884 [SUSAN] Six months? Ooh, it wasn't that long for us. 156 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,470 I guess word is out about his success rate. 157 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:22,348 So, I hear that his methods are a little unconventional. 158 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:27,395 They're quite radical. But we've tried everything else. Renfrew, Maudsley. 159 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:31,524 Maudsley? Ooh, you're brave. Was that a nightmare? 160 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,277 It took a long time getting used to it. 161 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:46,372 - Does that really work? - No, I'm just thirsty. 162 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,083 [TURNS OFF FAUCET] 163 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:54,422 How old are you, anyway? Your mom said you had to drop out of college. 164 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:58,008 Twenty. And she's not my mom. 165 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,387 Twenty, wow. And you're some kind of artist? 166 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:05,641 Your… Well, that lady said you're kind of famous. 167 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,725 She's nuts. 168 00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:12,064 But you had, like, a crazy fan or something. 169 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:20,781 Susan, my stepmom, has a reality problem. You get one letter, you have a crazy fan. 170 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,492 Seriously? She made it sound like you had a stalker or something. 171 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,620 Yeah. Not even. 172 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,622 She said she was taking the anti-depressants, 173 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,124 but she'd been flushing them down the toilet. 174 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,834 She was afraid they would make her gain weight. 175 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:37,673 And I know, she has a right to lash out. Her mother Judy, she is a bipolar lesbian. 176 00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:41,093 - That is not why… - Judy has had several breakdowns, 177 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,471 hospitalizations. 178 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,306 Poor Ellen had to call us one time 179 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,225 because her mother was writing her own bible on the walls. 180 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,269 Judy came out when Ellen was 13. 181 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:54,648 The child is going through puberty, and overnight, she's got two moms? 182 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:58,694 Traumatic. It has got to have something to do with the weight and… 183 00:12:58,777 --> 00:12:59,987 Sounds rough. 184 00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:05,451 But looking for one reason is a losing battle. It's never that simple. 185 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:09,580 Absolutely. I say that to her father all the time. He blames himself. 186 00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:14,043 Now, I think throwing Ellen into the deep end, real life… 187 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,586 might do her some good. 188 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,087 My family was on welfare. 189 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:21,217 - We had nothing. - Okay, thank you. I think I got it. 190 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:30,267 - [MAN] You do a lot of sit-ups. - [ELLEN] Not that many. 191 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,771 It wasn't a question. That's where you get these bruises on your spine. 192 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,942 Your stepmom always talk that much? 193 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,947 You know how sharks have to keep swimming or they'll die? 194 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,574 She's kinda like that with talking. 195 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,916 Take a deep breath. 196 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,626 - [INHALES DEEPLY] - Let it out. 197 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,002 [EXHALES] 198 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:02,216 - Again. - [BREATHES DEEPLY] 199 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,342 And one more. 200 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:06,095 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 201 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,267 When was the last time you got your period? 202 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,019 God. 203 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,147 Um… 204 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,235 It must have been… [MUTTERS] 205 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,696 A long time ago. 206 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,493 I don't feel… that unhealthy, you know? 207 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,123 [CHUCKLES] If I wanna be thin, don't they say that that's better? 208 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,625 I'll outlive the normies. 209 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:41,672 - You like this? The furry? - What? No, I'm not… 210 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:45,301 Lanugo. Your body's trying to keep you warm by making more hair. 211 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,553 But you know that, right? 212 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,100 I talk to kids like you all day, every day. 213 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:56,812 So, I know that you are, as a rule, full of shit. 214 00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:01,191 You're not thin. You scare people. And I'm guessing you like that. 215 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:04,236 But the way that you're going, one day, you won't wake up. 216 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,573 And I'm not going to treat you if you aren't interested in living. 217 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:10,993 Good speech. 218 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,872 If I'm going to help you, you have to agree to a few things. 219 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,668 - What? - No talk about food. 220 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:23,380 I'm not interested. It's boring and not very helpful. 221 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,424 And your parents can't talk about it either. 222 00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:28,969 - You're on your own, understand? - Yes. 223 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,056 You'll agree to a minimum of six weeks in-patient. 224 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,891 I don't need more in-patient. 225 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,729 Then find another doctor. 226 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,319 - [SUSAN] Well? - [ELLEN] He wants to admit me on Monday. 227 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,280 He said that? He said he'll admit you? 228 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,993 This is great! What exactly did he say? 229 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,206 Is Dad coming? 230 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,794 Uh, you know, we didn't have much time to talk, but he's on his way home. 231 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:02,878 Dad's coming? 232 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,380 Mm… 233 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,716 - He's on his way, but he said not to wait. - So, he's not coming. 234 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,973 Hey, what happened to that sweet girl that I met at Transitions? 235 00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,810 - The Mexican. - Angel? 236 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,729 - Mm-hmm. - Her mom's from El Salvador. 237 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,314 You know what I mean. 238 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,818 You two seemed very close. And I just… 239 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:29,405 I want you to know that it's fine if you were. 240 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,826 [BOTH LAUGHING] 241 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:36,161 - Thank you, Susan. - Jesus, Mom. 242 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,456 Just because her mom is gay does not mean that she's gay. 243 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,542 You know, you can get married now. 244 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:45,004 I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying, you know, if you… 245 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,798 if you have that kind of turmoil, 246 00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:50,968 then you might feel like you don't deserve to eat. 247 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,261 Pussy, you mean. 248 00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,472 [BOTH LAUGHING] 249 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,736 Are you done? I've got a special dessert. 250 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,864 Yup, all done. Thanks. 251 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:17,161 Well, I'm so sorry Dad couldn't be here for your lesbian coming out party. 252 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:20,372 It really sucks. I mean, I believe it, but… 253 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,957 No, I'm… I'm fine. 254 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,713 Will you try… this time? 255 00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:32,968 I mean, maybe this doctor is really great. Can you please just try this time? 256 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,094 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 257 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,263 [SUSAN] Ta-da! 258 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:37,514 [SUSAN CHUCKLES] 259 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,393 [SUSAN] Isn't it funny? 260 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,312 [CHUCKLES] 261 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,521 It's a cake. 262 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,318 [MAN ON RADIO] With the syrup and the nuts, it was literally heaven. 263 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,361 Life in these arctic temperatures is measured 264 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,489 by the briefest moments of light… 265 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,750 - This is it? You're sure? - Yeah, this is the address. 266 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,462 Oh, hi. 267 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:10,923 - Oh, that's okay. - Please. 268 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:14,051 - So I can get my points. - Okay. 269 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:20,015 - So, what's your name? - Ellen. 270 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:26,939 Anna. Bulimia nervosa. Although, more nervosa than bulimia now. 271 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:27,856 [CHUCKLES] 272 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,358 That's Kendra. 273 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:39,368 Here you go. Welcome to Threshold. I'll, uh… I'll go get Lobo. 274 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,621 Lobo! 275 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,707 This is… very nice, homey. 276 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,335 Hey. 277 00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:51,088 Uh, hi, are you Lobo? 278 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,258 [BRITISH ACCENT] Lucus. Like "mucus." 279 00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:56,218 [CHUCKLES] 280 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,554 But I prefer "Luke." Lobo is a dame. 281 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,723 - A dame? - A broad, a skirt. 282 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,644 Raymond Chandler is my muse since I got here. 283 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,980 To the hardscrabbled streets of LA, that is. 284 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,189 - Oh. [LAUGHS] - Wow. 285 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:14,236 - I'm from London, originally. - London? How interesting. 286 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,697 Did you come all this way for Dr. Beckham? 287 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,367 By way of Jersey. It's a sordid tale. 288 00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:24,288 - But he's the best, so… - Well, Ellen's from Los Angeles. 289 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:27,708 - How interesting. - Not really. 290 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,503 [CHUCKLES] 291 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:40,679 [AMERICAN ACCENT] Well… see you around, sweetheart. 292 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,561 [CHUCKLES] 293 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,730 God. 294 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,067 He seemed nice, funny. 295 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,613 Here we go. Nothing fancy. That's Pearl. 296 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,449 Anna's in here too, when she's not running around. 297 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:05,454 We usually have six patients, 298 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,539 but, right now, we have seven because of Luke. 299 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,374 - He's down the hall. - I like your pants. 300 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,170 Oh. Thanks. 301 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:16,215 I, uh… like your ponies. 302 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,258 Thanks. [CHUCKLES] 303 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,596 Sorry. 304 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:24,890 It's gross. 305 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:29,853 Oh, this girl from the last place I was in had a permanent tube in her stomach. 306 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,730 She refused to chew. 307 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,107 Ew. I chew. 308 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:40,072 So, I'm gonna have to search this. Any knives or X-Actos I should know about? 309 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,866 - Are you cutter? - Nope, not that on-trend. 310 00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:47,454 - Some of these girls are cutters? - Oh, yeah. 311 00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,373 We have a lot of overachievers in here. 312 00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:55,545 - I'm gonna have to take these. - It's just a multivitamin. 313 00:20:55,629 --> 00:21:00,384 It's a vitamin bottle. Could be diet pills, speed, laxatives… 314 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:04,763 And we don't have time to test for everything. We'll give you a vitamin. 315 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,932 And can I have your phone, please? 316 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,020 Do you have any other electronic devices? iPad? 317 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,315 My iPad doesn't even have wireless. I just use it to draw. 318 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:19,111 Dr. Beckham says you should draw on paper until he says different. 319 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:23,407 - God, what did you say to him? - I just explained the situation. 320 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,327 Okay. Um… 321 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,080 I should let you get settled, right? 322 00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:33,458 Uh, is Dr. Beckham here? I'd like to just pop in before I go. 323 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,712 He's only here in the morning and usually stops by after dinner. 324 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,382 I just thought you should know about her tricks. 325 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:43,051 Oh. We know all the tricks. 326 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,053 [PEARL] That's why we don't have any doors. 327 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,932 They know we'd jog around the room all day if nobody could see us. 328 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,226 It'd be like the Rexie Olympics up in here. 329 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:56,898 Okay. Call us if you need anything, and, um… we'll see you soon, okay? 330 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,900 - Be good. - Okay. 331 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,362 Not too good. Not perfect. 332 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:03,280 Got it. 333 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:06,491 I got it. 334 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:22,674 Pearl usually gives the tour, but, obviously, she's not going anywhere. 335 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,218 So, Luke is your guy. 336 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:30,682 - Ellen, Luke. - We've met. Onward. 337 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:38,690 This, as you can see, is a living room. 338 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,568 We meet here twice a day for "Bitch and Bawl." 339 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:42,694 What? 340 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,446 It's what we call our group therapy. 341 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,866 - Well, it's what I call group therapy. - And what's the deal with levels? 342 00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:50,452 I prefer to think of them as draconian points 343 00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,412 earned for good behavior. 344 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,166 Like when you were little and you had chores, if you had chores. 345 00:22:56,249 --> 00:22:59,586 This is the torture chamber, also known as the dining room. 346 00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,296 Chores, uh, which I never had 347 00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:03,632 because that would assume I had parents who gave a shit… 348 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:07,677 - So, you do chores to get points? - Among other things, yes. 349 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:11,306 And Lobo and the other nurses and counselors can give them 350 00:23:11,389 --> 00:23:12,974 or take them away at will. 351 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,185 Amass enough points, level up. 352 00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:18,688 Earn extra privileges, like, you can go out of the house on your own. 353 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:22,442 I'm actually currently deciding on where to go on my next outing. 354 00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:28,031 So far, I've eaten at nine of the places on Jonathan Gold's essential 100 list. 355 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,992 Jonathan Gold is my muse. 356 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,328 Raymond Chandler was your muse a few minutes ago. 357 00:23:33,411 --> 00:23:39,000 I know. Isn't that fantastic? Nobody can keep up with me. 358 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,752 Onward. 359 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:43,964 So, welcome to our new house member, Ellen. 360 00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:45,632 - Hi. - Hi, Ellen. 361 00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:46,550 [LUKE] Hello. 362 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:49,386 So, how this works… This is just an end of day check-in. 363 00:23:49,469 --> 00:23:51,680 The morning sessions are a little more focused. 364 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:55,892 This is just to talk about struggles and our victories and… 365 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:58,937 any other issues you might be having here in the house. 366 00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:00,981 Let's start with Pearl. 367 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:05,944 Struggle… 368 00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:14,661 I got tubed today, and, uh… you know, it hurts. 369 00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:16,997 Now, I feel all… 370 00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:19,374 …hot. 371 00:24:21,334 --> 00:24:24,713 I can't stop thinking about how many calories are in that drip. 372 00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:27,090 - They won't say. - Fifteen hundred. 373 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:32,262 I looked it up. I was tubed a couple times. 374 00:24:32,345 --> 00:24:33,471 Ellen, we try not to crosstalk. 375 00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:37,142 We don't talk about numbers or weight or anything like that. 376 00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:39,352 - Sorry. - [PEARL] Fifteen hundred? 377 00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:43,732 [WOMAN] How are you feeling right now, Pearl? It's okay. 378 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:46,109 I don't know. Just… 379 00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:52,115 that it's hard getting better. 380 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,994 And I'm guessing that you're worried about how you're gonna be burning it off, 381 00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:57,829 especially when everybody's here watching you? 382 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,498 Do you know why you feel that way? 383 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:07,255 - Because I… have an addiction? - In a way, yes. 384 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,925 When the exercise and the rituals kick in 385 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:13,428 and… the cyclical thoughts about weight take over, 386 00:25:13,511 --> 00:25:15,555 everything else goes away. 387 00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:18,558 And starving yourself can make you feel euphoric, 388 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:21,645 like a drug addict or an alcoholic. 389 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:25,523 It's not about "thin enough," right? 390 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:28,068 There's no "thin enough." It doesn't exist. 391 00:25:28,151 --> 00:25:33,198 What you crave is the numbing of the thing that you don't wanna feel. 392 00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:34,950 And we give you a lot of rope here. 393 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:40,747 It's scary, but only you can decide… to see what's good, to be alive. 394 00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:42,874 - You understand? - Kind of. 395 00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:47,045 - I'm trying. - Yeah, you are. 396 00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:50,382 Talk to me, brother. 397 00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:54,844 My victory was leading a fantastic house tour… 398 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,054 and earning another point, 399 00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:59,975 which means I get to go to Guelaguetza, Oaxacan restaurant, 400 00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:03,687 number 26 on Mr. Gold's essential 100. 401 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:10,318 And affordable, which is also essential. Ballet companies don't pay you a fortune. 402 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,613 That's great. Talk to me about your struggles. 403 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:16,783 Don't know, really. I guess I'm obsessing about my injury 404 00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:19,995 and… if I'll be able to perform when I get get out of here. 405 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:23,498 - But I've got a goal. So, that's good. - You have a couple of goals. 406 00:26:23,581 --> 00:26:26,584 Eating Oaxacan and getting healthy so you can dance again. 407 00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:29,838 Damn straight. I've got goals coming out my wazoo. 408 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:32,924 Ellen? 409 00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,470 Struggle, um… 410 00:26:39,222 --> 00:26:41,016 Coming here. 411 00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:43,935 I mean, accepting that I have to come here. 412 00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:47,355 So, maybe your victory is that you're here. 413 00:26:48,606 --> 00:26:49,524 Hmm? 414 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,485 Yeah, maybe. 415 00:26:58,491 --> 00:26:59,326 [SIGHS] 416 00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:11,212 Did Luke explain about meals? 417 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,632 No. By the time we got to that, he was onto some musical thing. 418 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:17,761 - [LUKE] ♪ Sugar blues ♪ - That. 419 00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:22,390 ♪ Everybody's singin' the sugar blues ♪ 420 00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:24,726 - ♪ Sugar blues ♪ - Luke. 421 00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:29,898 - [LUKE WHIMPERS] - Eat what you want. 422 00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:33,401 If you have special food, like Kendra here does, that's fine. 423 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,070 - We'll get it for you. - That's it? 424 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:39,657 No, you're definitely judged. When you eat, points magically appear. 425 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,285 What he means is, if you're maintaining or moving towards your goal, 426 00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:43,370 you go up a level. 427 00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,205 - How you do it is up to you. - Really? 428 00:27:45,288 --> 00:27:47,791 Yeah, but no one leaves the table at mealtime, 429 00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:49,876 and bathrooms are locked for 30 minutes after. 430 00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,295 And there's no point pretending to eat 431 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:55,465 or throwing up into the plants or whatever. 432 00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:58,593 It smells, and it doesn't end up on the scale. 433 00:27:58,676 --> 00:27:59,761 Got it. 434 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:03,681 - Thank you, Lobo. - De nada. 435 00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:08,686 - All right. Who wants to say grace? - Oh, sorry. 436 00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:13,983 [LUKE CLEARS HIS THROAT] 437 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:16,778 - [LUKE] Dear Jesus… - Take us to church. 438 00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:22,742 Allah, Oprah, My Little Pony, or whoever your personal savior is… 439 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:26,454 help us to give our bodies what they need to grow strong and beautiful 440 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:30,959 because every single person at this table deserves to live. 441 00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:33,128 - Mm. - Amen. 442 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:34,212 [LUKE] Bon appétit. 443 00:28:36,589 --> 00:28:37,465 Oh, yeah. 444 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:43,221 Oh, my God. This is so fucking good. Oh, my God. 445 00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:48,393 Pearl? 446 00:28:53,189 --> 00:28:56,609 You freaked her out with the 1500 thing. I mean, it's not your fault… 447 00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:58,820 - I didn't mean… - Oh, no, no, no. It's not your fault. 448 00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:00,238 I mean, don't stress. 449 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,993 - How many in-patients have you done? - Four. 450 00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:09,622 Six. The rest of these guys, they have no idea. 451 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:16,171 I mean, Pearl's not actually just upset about the tube. She might get kicked out. 452 00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:20,425 Seriously? I mean, she looks pretty sick. 453 00:29:20,508 --> 00:29:23,261 No, Dr. Beck says that hospitals are for sick people. 454 00:29:23,344 --> 00:29:25,054 We're here to get over that shit. 455 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:29,476 Ice cream's my favorite. 456 00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:32,270 - It comes up the easiest. - How do you know you got it all? 457 00:29:32,353 --> 00:29:34,522 When your barf is clear and it doesn't burn anymore. 458 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:38,193 Oh. I wish I could barf. I'm only good at the binging part. 459 00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:44,866 - You purge? - I tried. It's not my thing. 460 00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:47,285 So, how do you get rid of it if you can't barf? 461 00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:49,287 - It's gross. - Tell me. 462 00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:51,414 [CHATTERING CONTINUES] 463 00:29:56,169 --> 00:30:01,716 Your ponies wouldn't want you to cry. Hello Kitty wouldn't want you to cry. 464 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,718 [SOBBING] 465 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:08,139 The unicorn on the stairs wouldn't want you to cry. 466 00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:15,396 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 467 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,398 [BECKHAM] Hey, there. 468 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:19,818 - Settling in? - Yeah. 469 00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:24,322 - Where's everyone else? - May I? 470 00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:26,741 Okay. 471 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,079 Anna went to the movies. 472 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:33,957 Points. 473 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,418 Cool. 474 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:41,339 I'm having your family come in for a group session tomorrow afternoon. 475 00:30:41,422 --> 00:30:43,007 It's standard when I see new patients. 476 00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:45,343 If it's productive, we'll do it from time to time. 477 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,595 Okay. 478 00:30:48,888 --> 00:30:51,516 - Even my mom? - Even Mom. 479 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:53,726 Wow. 480 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:56,187 I told her it takes me longer to drive in from the Valley 481 00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:57,772 than it does to fly from Phoenix. 482 00:31:02,485 --> 00:31:03,528 Okay, kiddo. 483 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,114 Glad you're here. 484 00:31:09,742 --> 00:31:10,785 I didn't mean it. 485 00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:16,624 I… I mean, I didn't mean for my drawings to do what they did. 486 00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:20,753 - What? - On Tumblr. 487 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:25,758 I know Susan told you what happened, and… it'll come up, I bet. 488 00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:28,177 Right. 489 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,515 I was just doing what all my teachers told me to do. 490 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,058 Draw what you know? 491 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:37,186 - Yeah. - I hear you. 492 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:41,649 Just keep it for yourself, for now, okay? 493 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:43,902 Okay. 494 00:31:45,486 --> 00:31:46,404 Good night. 495 00:31:54,537 --> 00:31:58,833 [RUSTLING, CLATTERING] 496 00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:24,484 [WHISPERING] Oh. Sweaty. 497 00:32:24,567 --> 00:32:28,780 I ran home from the movies. Don't tell anyone. 498 00:32:28,863 --> 00:32:30,114 [WHISPERING] Okay. 499 00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:31,699 [CHUCKLES] 500 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,910 - What movie did you see? - Oh, um… 501 00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:36,996 They were playing Shaun of the Dead at the New Beverly with Zombieland. 502 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,790 - No way. - Yeah. 503 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:41,793 Emma Stone's kinda fat. Don't you think? 504 00:32:41,876 --> 00:32:44,504 Oh, no, I think she's just big-boned. 505 00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:47,632 She's, like, at least, a size six. 506 00:32:49,842 --> 00:32:53,054 - Anyway, 'night. - 'Night. 507 00:33:05,274 --> 00:33:07,193 Mutually assured destruction. 508 00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:09,779 [CHUCKLES] Right. 509 00:33:14,867 --> 00:33:17,620 I'm breaking 120 today, dolls. 510 00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:23,126 - Is that going up or down? - Up. Eighty-nine when I came in. 511 00:33:23,209 --> 00:33:25,503 Eighty-nine? How tall are you? 512 00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:30,842 You're a beautiful unicorn. 513 00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:34,846 - You, cheer captain, come on. - All right. 514 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,015 Let's do this. 515 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:44,188 Megan's been gaining. She's flipping out. 516 00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:48,609 But, I mean, she wants to, I think, for her baby. 517 00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:52,572 - She… She's pregnant? - Oh, nobody said? 518 00:33:52,655 --> 00:33:55,074 - Jesus, I didn't even think about… - I know. 519 00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:58,036 That's why Luke calls her "the unicorn." 520 00:33:58,119 --> 00:34:02,540 She gets her period once and gets pregnant off some guy she barely knows. 521 00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:06,878 I'm never having a baby. 522 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:09,547 No way. 523 00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:13,384 [PHONE RINGING] 524 00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:14,469 Where are you? 525 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:19,682 That's probably Dad, right? 526 00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:22,894 - Making some excuse. - Yeah, annoying. 527 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:27,273 - I heard them fighting this morning. - Great. 528 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:29,192 That's great. 529 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,119 Oh, my God. 530 00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:42,038 Oh, my God. 531 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:43,122 Mom… 532 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:46,417 You… You look like a ghost. 533 00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:49,587 It's okay. 534 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:52,590 Why? 535 00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:57,678 Mom, it's okay, it's okay. 536 00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,472 My God. 537 00:35:01,557 --> 00:35:04,602 - No dad? - I'm sorry, work. 538 00:35:06,437 --> 00:35:08,606 Well, he has to support his family… 539 00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:12,443 and pay alimony, still, and the medical bills and… 540 00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:13,444 Understood. 541 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,281 Bet you didn't expect this much "gynergy" today. 542 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:21,869 I do think this is a record number of mothers for one patient. 543 00:35:25,581 --> 00:35:29,460 Okay, I want everybody to understand nobody's on trial here. 544 00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:33,047 I just want to get a sense of the family. 545 00:35:36,759 --> 00:35:39,053 Well, until recently, Ellen lived with us. 546 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:42,473 She moved in with her father 18 months ago. 547 00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:45,601 We thought it might be good for her to heal that relationship. 548 00:35:45,685 --> 00:35:48,604 He's shown little interest in who Ellen really is. 549 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:51,315 He's only interested in who he wants her to be. 550 00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:55,278 Ellen is an artist. She's extremely bright and sensitive. 551 00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:58,781 She was never going to go into Chinese 552 00:35:58,865 --> 00:36:00,867 - or computers or what have you. - What? 553 00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:03,286 Is that what you think your dad wants for you? 554 00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:10,501 I don't know. I guess… I think he just wants me to be able to make a living. 555 00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:14,297 - Exactly. Is that a crime? - No crimes, remember? 556 00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:18,134 The point is, Ellen's father never saw who she was. 557 00:36:18,217 --> 00:36:19,760 He left when she was very young… 558 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,763 Yeah, because you were sleeping with your best friend over there. 559 00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,474 - No, that's not why the marriage ended. - There's a better reason? 560 00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,768 We are not here to defend our relationship. 561 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,188 When are you going to come up with a different narrative, Susan? 562 00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:31,981 - [SUSAN] What narrative? - [JUDY] What narrative? 563 00:36:32,064 --> 00:36:33,608 - Susan… - [SUSAN] No, this is the truth. 564 00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:36,736 - Jack didn't wanna have sex. - Well, he likes it with me just fine. 565 00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:39,447 - Twice a week, like clockwork. - Oh, my God. 566 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:41,824 [SUSAN] Besides, he's not the one who abandoned her. 567 00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:43,951 We did not abandon Ellen. We moved to Phoenix. 568 00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,704 They threw her out. They put her bags on the street. 569 00:36:46,787 --> 00:36:50,708 Because we'd been dealing with Ellen's illness alone for years. 570 00:36:50,791 --> 00:36:53,669 I didn't abandon my daughter. I love her more than life. 571 00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:57,048 I just didn't know what to do. She's dying right in front of us. 572 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,637 What's going on with you right now? 573 00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:11,395 I'm sorry… 574 00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:16,400 that I'm not a person anymore. 575 00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:17,652 I'm a problem. 576 00:37:22,823 --> 00:37:25,159 - And it's all my fault. - Fuck fault. 577 00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:31,916 Fault and blame have no place here. Only how you wanna live, moving forward. 578 00:37:31,999 --> 00:37:33,084 Who you wanna be. 579 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:44,136 How about you, Kelly? What do you think of all this? 580 00:37:45,429 --> 00:37:47,181 Um… I, uh… 581 00:37:48,307 --> 00:37:49,850 [INHALES DEEPLY] 582 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:52,019 I feel kind of angry, I guess. 583 00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:56,023 I just… I just don't really… Really get it. 584 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,526 You know, just… eat. 585 00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:03,489 I don't know. It's just like… It's not her life that she's just missing out on. 586 00:38:03,572 --> 00:38:04,407 It's… 587 00:38:05,908 --> 00:38:07,410 [EXHALES] 588 00:38:07,493 --> 00:38:10,288 It's my life, too. You know, I don't get to have… 589 00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:12,790 a sister. 590 00:38:16,585 --> 00:38:20,715 You know, I look at pictures of my prom and stuff, and… 591 00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,094 and all I think of is, like, "Oh, that's when… 592 00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:27,346 "Ellen was in the hospital," or… 593 00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,849 "That's when she fainted on the bus." 594 00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:30,808 [BECKHAM] All right. 595 00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:35,062 And all of my friends, they think that she's some kind of freak. 596 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:38,316 - Like, a freak who killed a girl. - Because of the blog? 597 00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:40,401 - Tumblr. - [KELLY] Yeah, and that's bad enough, 598 00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:44,113 but now, people wanna be like her and look like her 599 00:38:44,196 --> 00:38:46,115 and go through what she's going through. 600 00:38:46,198 --> 00:38:48,409 Nobody died because of Ellen's artwork, okay? 601 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:51,537 There's plenty of stuff out there for people to fetishize. 602 00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:55,207 But that certainly didn't help, to have notoriety for starving… 603 00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:56,417 But that's what I'm saying. 604 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,419 - Ellen has talent. - [SUSAN] I didn't say she doesn't. 605 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,714 [JUDY] But if you hadn't made her take her artwork away from her audience, 606 00:39:01,797 --> 00:39:02,923 she might have found her voice. 607 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:06,510 [SUSAN] Ellen took it down herself after that young woman died 608 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,888 because she knew it was the right thing to do. 609 00:39:08,971 --> 00:39:11,098 - [OLIVE] You are so full of shit, Susan. - [SUSAN] What? 610 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,892 [OLIVE] Do you even hear what Judy is saying? 611 00:39:12,975 --> 00:39:14,018 [SUSAN] A young women died. 612 00:39:14,101 --> 00:39:16,187 - No, no, no. - Meet me in the car. 613 00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:20,608 [DOORS OPENING] 614 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:24,862 I'm sorry, we just… We just can't take you with us right now. 615 00:39:24,945 --> 00:39:26,155 [DOORS CLOSING] 616 00:39:27,573 --> 00:39:29,450 - We're gonna miss our plane. - Okay, all right. 617 00:39:29,533 --> 00:39:30,951 - All right? - Okay. 618 00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:34,455 Ellen… be strong, okay? 619 00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:40,169 [DOORS OPENING] 620 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:44,382 [DOORS CLOSING] 621 00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:47,968 Hey, I'm really sorry if I got you in any sort of trouble… 622 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:52,723 - Please, no, I'm sorry. I hate that… - No, no, no, it's… it's whatever. 623 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,016 You can forget it. 624 00:39:56,602 --> 00:39:59,522 [CHUCKLES] What a shit-show. 625 00:39:59,605 --> 00:40:01,690 [BOTH LAUGHING] 626 00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:05,486 You really need to get better so you never have to see those people ever again. 627 00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:07,655 [TAKES DEEP BREATH] 628 00:40:14,328 --> 00:40:15,496 If you die… 629 00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:18,332 I will kill you. 630 00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:24,672 [INHALES DEEPLY] 631 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:26,507 Okay. I'll see you. 632 00:40:32,054 --> 00:40:32,930 See ya. 633 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,725 [DOORS OPENING] 634 00:40:40,729 --> 00:40:42,064 [DOORS CLOSING] 635 00:40:50,739 --> 00:40:51,782 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 636 00:40:52,783 --> 00:40:55,202 - Dinner. - I'm staying up here. 637 00:40:56,203 --> 00:40:59,957 You don't have to eat, but the rule is that everyone has to sit down. 638 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,737 [SNIFFS] 639 00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:31,614 [GROANS] 640 00:41:31,697 --> 00:41:32,865 [EXHALES] 641 00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:41,248 [LUKE] Have you been thinking about baby names? 642 00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:42,166 Not yet. 643 00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:45,669 I have a whole list of favorites that you can have. 644 00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:48,339 I was actually considering a new moniker. 645 00:41:48,422 --> 00:41:52,468 - What about Dean or Tex? - When I get out of the first trimester. 646 00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:54,386 [LUKE] Do you want to get out of the first trimester? 647 00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:57,014 - Jesus, Luke. - Stay out of this, Mia. 648 00:41:57,097 --> 00:42:01,185 This is between us rexies. She knows what I'm talking about. 649 00:42:01,268 --> 00:42:07,233 I don't know. I'm terrified. It just feels so… out of control. 650 00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:09,610 But it's kind of a miracle, you know? 651 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:14,532 'Cause I didn't think anything was working down there. So, maybe… 652 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,785 I'm supposed to have this baby. 653 00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:21,956 And I want to. 654 00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:26,877 I just want to think about something besides me for once. 655 00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,212 [LUKE] Amen, sister. 656 00:42:28,295 --> 00:42:31,715 - [PEARL] We should have a baby shower. - No, I don't wanna jinx it. 657 00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:34,552 - No, please. A shower would be so cute. - Yeah, no. 658 00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:38,556 All right, fine. Maybe. 659 00:42:38,639 --> 00:42:41,600 - If I get past 12 weeks. - Yay! 660 00:42:42,643 --> 00:42:47,064 Well, we're gonna help you make it past. Every bite you take feeds the miracle. 661 00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:49,900 [CHUCKLES] 662 00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,652 [MEGAN] Pass the potatoes. 663 00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:55,114 - Oh, my God… - Are you sure? 664 00:42:55,197 --> 00:42:56,615 - I don't know. - Here they are. 665 00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:58,242 - Just don't talk. - Here they are. 666 00:42:58,325 --> 00:43:01,453 - Miracle potatoes. - [LUKE] Miracle, miracle potatoes. 667 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:03,080 - I like that. - [MEGAN] Pretty good. 668 00:43:03,163 --> 00:43:05,040 [LAUGHS] 669 00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:07,334 How about the newbie? How you doin'? 670 00:43:09,211 --> 00:43:10,254 Finished. 671 00:43:14,925 --> 00:43:18,262 - What happened? - She had family therapy today. 672 00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:21,265 - Oh. - Makes sense. 673 00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:22,391 Mm-hmm. 674 00:43:22,474 --> 00:43:26,061 Hey. I missed dinner. 675 00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:27,730 I found your barf stash. 676 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,321 Keep this to yourself and I'll get you some laxatives. 677 00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:38,115 - I don't… I don't use… - Come on, I know you want them. 678 00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:41,910 You think I haven't seen that thing that you do? 679 00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:43,454 What thing? 680 00:43:43,537 --> 00:43:44,538 [SIGHS] 681 00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:50,628 Making sure your arm doesn't get bigger than, what, a silver dollar? 682 00:43:53,714 --> 00:43:54,715 Deal. 683 00:44:20,699 --> 00:44:21,909 Cigarette for dinner. 684 00:44:23,285 --> 00:44:25,537 - That's not gonna get you points. - Not in the mood. 685 00:44:27,289 --> 00:44:28,123 Okay. 686 00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:34,963 And who in hell made you house den mother? 687 00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:37,424 You walk around here like you've got it all figured out. 688 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,176 Well, if you're so fixed and special, 689 00:44:39,259 --> 00:44:41,136 why don't you go back to New Jersey or London 690 00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,513 or wherever the fuck you're from? 691 00:44:42,596 --> 00:44:46,558 I am going back, as soon as my BMI's closer to my age. 692 00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:48,727 But right now, I'd rather try and help people 693 00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:50,479 than mope about feeling sorry for myself. 694 00:44:50,562 --> 00:44:52,439 You have no idea how I'm feeling. 695 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:55,609 - I never said I did. - And what? You wanna help people? 696 00:44:55,692 --> 00:44:57,236 What are you, a doctor now? 697 00:44:57,319 --> 00:45:00,697 - You feel pretty proud of yourself? - Yeah, I am, actually. 698 00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:03,534 I'm moving the needle in the right direction. 699 00:45:03,617 --> 00:45:05,160 Sorry if that scares you. 700 00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:07,996 But people actually go home sometimes and have a life, 701 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,290 even people with fucked-up families. 702 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:15,671 Yeah. There goes that fucking excuse again, huh? 703 00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:23,971 [SCOFFS] 704 00:46:08,390 --> 00:46:10,309 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 705 00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:12,561 Enter. 706 00:46:14,646 --> 00:46:15,814 Hey. 707 00:46:18,275 --> 00:46:22,529 - Hey. - Don't be all pleased with yourself. 708 00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:26,408 Wow. I never thought I'd meet anyone more defensive than I am. 709 00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:27,451 And yet… 710 00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:30,287 So, you've been here awhile. 711 00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:33,040 Six months. 712 00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:38,003 - Is that you? - Hard to believe, I know. 713 00:46:38,086 --> 00:46:42,508 I didn't mean that… [SCOFFS] Yeah, I can tell that it's you. 714 00:46:42,591 --> 00:46:44,718 Incredible. 715 00:46:44,801 --> 00:46:48,597 You know what it's like to be 19 and feel like you've already peaked? 716 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:49,806 Um, a relief. 717 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:50,891 [CHUCKLES] 718 00:46:52,017 --> 00:46:57,981 No. I loved it. I could push it and push it. 719 00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:01,568 And then I broke and went batshit, obviously. 720 00:47:02,861 --> 00:47:06,073 But my knee's getting better, and my company director says 721 00:47:06,156 --> 00:47:09,660 he'll have a place for me as soon as I get my act together, so… 722 00:47:09,743 --> 00:47:12,287 - It's my drawing. - Yeah. 723 00:47:13,539 --> 00:47:16,708 I printed it off your Tumblr, like, a year ago. 724 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:19,711 That's why I acted like such a spaz when you first got here. 725 00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:21,547 - You're like my… - You're muse? 726 00:47:21,630 --> 00:47:22,673 Shut up. 727 00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:27,844 I just figured, somebody so talented, 728 00:47:27,928 --> 00:47:30,931 I had to be brilliantly charming to get you to like me. 729 00:47:31,014 --> 00:47:34,434 - Well, you overshot. - I'm aware. 730 00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:38,647 In my defense, though, I've been running on empty for so long 731 00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:43,026 that when I actually eat now, I get this crazy burst of energy. 732 00:47:43,110 --> 00:47:47,239 - That's why you're so weird. - I'm always weird. That's why I'm… 733 00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:49,700 assertive. 734 00:47:51,034 --> 00:47:58,417 How do you do it? Eat. I mean, I see you, and I just… I get… 735 00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:03,755 I get all panicky even thinking about it, like, the world is gonna fall apart. 736 00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:08,552 I feel that way. But you know, feel the fear and do it anyway. 737 00:48:08,635 --> 00:48:11,263 Yeah, but aren't you scared you won't be able to stop? 738 00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,682 - That you're just gonna… - Be like one of those guys 739 00:48:13,765 --> 00:48:17,102 who has to be lifted out of his bed with a crane? 740 00:48:17,185 --> 00:48:20,188 Yeah, but Dr. Beck says that's not gonna happen, so… 741 00:48:20,272 --> 00:48:24,026 - Yeah, but he has to say that. - Well, he's pretty straight-up. 742 00:48:24,109 --> 00:48:26,695 Plus, I'm not gonna lie. I'm really fuckin' hungry. 743 00:48:26,778 --> 00:48:27,738 [LAUGHS] 744 00:48:27,821 --> 00:48:30,157 Like, two years worth of hungry. 745 00:48:32,075 --> 00:48:36,204 Whenever I can't sleep, I draw food. 746 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:38,957 Oh, yeah? Like… what? 747 00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:42,169 - Do you know what a Goo Goo Cluster is? - Oh, my God. 748 00:48:43,378 --> 00:48:46,757 Yeah, greatest candy bar ever. 749 00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:51,678 - Peanuty, marshmallowy greatness. - [LAUGHS] 750 00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:55,599 Oh, it's 240 calories there, 110 from fat. 751 00:48:55,682 --> 00:48:57,851 Whoa. Calorie Asperger's. 752 00:48:57,934 --> 00:48:58,935 [SCOFFS] 753 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:03,148 - Maybe. - My last meal would be a whole box of 'em. 754 00:49:03,231 --> 00:49:07,277 Oh, yeah? How would you eat them? Show me. 755 00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:10,614 [SCOFFS] 756 00:49:10,697 --> 00:49:11,740 You wish. 757 00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:16,703 Um, right. Well, I'd better… 758 00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:18,121 Right, right, right. Yes. 759 00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,708 - See you tomorrow? - Where else would I be? 760 00:49:23,126 --> 00:49:23,960 Good night. 761 00:49:26,171 --> 00:49:27,172 [SIGHS] 762 00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:29,299 Epic. 763 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,223 Step on. 764 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:38,725 - Unless you wanna face the other way. - No, I'm good. 765 00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:42,479 I didn't sew rocks into my panties, if you're worried. 766 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:44,523 I'm not. 767 00:49:54,199 --> 00:49:55,200 Step off. 768 00:49:57,619 --> 00:49:59,621 Wow, that's bad. 769 00:50:02,249 --> 00:50:05,252 You know what the body burns after there's no more fat? 770 00:50:05,335 --> 00:50:08,964 Muscle. Organ tissue. 771 00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:11,508 Pretty soon, you're gonna be flopping around like a boneless fish. 772 00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:16,513 Thanks for that. Yeah, I'm scared straight. 773 00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:21,852 Anna, you're next! 774 00:50:21,935 --> 00:50:24,104 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV] 775 00:50:24,187 --> 00:50:26,481 [GROWLING] 776 00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:27,899 I want a baby dragon. 777 00:50:35,031 --> 00:50:37,242 - Megan? - Huh? 778 00:50:37,325 --> 00:50:40,203 - What do you think? - It's good. 779 00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:41,747 - Yeah? - Yeah. 780 00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:42,914 Okay, I'll finish it. 781 00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:47,043 [WHISPERING] I told her not to. 782 00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:51,882 You feel anything? 783 00:50:54,176 --> 00:50:55,010 Not yet. 784 00:50:56,052 --> 00:51:01,516 I like what you said before… about thinking more about somebody else. 785 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:02,642 Yeah. 786 00:51:04,394 --> 00:51:09,816 I think that's what being a mom is supposed to be about… you know? 787 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:13,487 - Putting the kid first. - Yeah. 788 00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:17,073 Yeah, it's not like I know what I'm talking about, but… 789 00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:19,743 No, I… I think you do. 790 00:51:22,245 --> 00:51:24,748 - You're gonna be a good mom. - [LUKE] ♪ Sugar blues ♪ 791 00:51:24,831 --> 00:51:29,503 - Thank you. - ♪ Everybody's singing the sugar… ♪ 792 00:51:30,504 --> 00:51:31,338 Huh. 793 00:51:35,550 --> 00:51:37,177 Good evening, ladies. 794 00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:39,095 - Good evening. - Hi, Luke. 795 00:51:39,179 --> 00:51:41,723 - [PLASTIC RUSTLING] - Oh, wh… 796 00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:44,559 - What is…? What's that noise? - [PLASTIC RUSTLING] 797 00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:48,814 You hear that? It's so weird. I feel like there's, uh… 798 00:51:48,897 --> 00:51:51,149 Oh… 799 00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:52,692 Oh. 800 00:51:57,113 --> 00:51:58,865 You know you want it. 801 00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,617 Shh! 802 00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:03,370 Okay, don't make it a sex thing. 803 00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:06,206 It is a sex thing. Don't pretend it's not. 804 00:52:07,207 --> 00:52:08,041 Ready? 805 00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:11,336 Oh… 806 00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:14,923 [LAUGHS] 807 00:52:15,006 --> 00:52:16,132 Oh, there it is. 808 00:52:17,175 --> 00:52:19,469 - I… I can't. - You can. 809 00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:25,725 Chew, swallow. The world will not implode, I swear. 810 00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:29,855 Come on, do it. 811 00:52:29,938 --> 00:52:30,939 Do it. 812 00:52:33,733 --> 00:52:34,734 Do it. 813 00:52:37,779 --> 00:52:38,905 [SNIFFING] 814 00:52:40,490 --> 00:52:43,285 - God. - Right? 815 00:52:43,368 --> 00:52:44,661 - Hmm. - Touch it. 816 00:52:44,744 --> 00:52:47,414 We can hear you, freak. 817 00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:52,377 - Yeah, freak, don't be so gross. - Come on, just a little. Get it on you. 818 00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:55,088 Come on, get it on you. 819 00:52:58,216 --> 00:52:59,050 [CHUCKLES] 820 00:53:00,927 --> 00:53:02,971 Right? Okay. 821 00:53:03,054 --> 00:53:06,766 Now, a little bite… for me. 822 00:53:07,934 --> 00:53:09,895 - For you? - Mm-hmm. 823 00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:13,315 I didn't even like you until five minutes ago, so, like… 824 00:53:13,398 --> 00:53:16,651 - Maybe just, you know, not… - You like me. 825 00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:18,278 - You like me. - Shut up. 826 00:53:18,361 --> 00:53:19,988 - She likes me. - Shut up. 827 00:53:20,071 --> 00:53:23,199 - Don't press your luck. - She likes me. You like me. 828 00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:24,743 - Take a bite. - Can we be done? 829 00:53:24,826 --> 00:53:27,913 - You like me. Come on. Have a little bite. - Okay, seriously, back off! 830 00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:32,334 God… 831 00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:37,172 [CHUCKLES] Coward. 832 00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:41,551 Tomorrow, you bite. 833 00:53:50,769 --> 00:53:52,479 Luke just made me touch chocolate. 834 00:53:52,562 --> 00:53:54,439 [CHUCKLES] 835 00:53:54,522 --> 00:53:58,068 - He's so weird. - He's totally weird sometimes. 836 00:54:01,446 --> 00:54:03,531 [INHALES DEEPLY] 837 00:54:05,825 --> 00:54:10,080 I think the baby just moved. Smell that. Yeah, get in on that. 838 00:54:10,163 --> 00:54:13,667 - Is anybody watching this movie? - Nobody cares about dragons. 839 00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:16,169 [BECKHAM] How are you doing after family therapy? 840 00:54:16,252 --> 00:54:18,630 It's pretty much how it always is when my folks are together. 841 00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:21,007 - Minus your dad. - Like I said. 842 00:54:22,217 --> 00:54:25,220 But I don't feel as bad as I thought I was going to. 843 00:54:25,303 --> 00:54:26,388 Why do you think that is? 844 00:54:27,806 --> 00:54:29,724 I'm getting to know some of the people in the house. 845 00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:33,186 Some of them actually seem like they're doing okay. 846 00:54:33,269 --> 00:54:36,940 - I hope so. - No, I mean, really okay. 847 00:54:38,566 --> 00:54:42,612 Like they might get lives and be semi-interesting people. 848 00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:46,324 Did you just say something vaguely optimistic? 849 00:54:46,408 --> 00:54:47,701 I did say "semi"… 850 00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:50,787 but… yeah. 851 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:57,168 - So, the family… - Can I be honest? 852 00:54:57,252 --> 00:55:01,131 I've talked about my dad, all that family stuff. 853 00:55:02,340 --> 00:55:04,551 I have issues. Whatever. 854 00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:08,054 Talk is not helping. 855 00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:09,681 I think you're right. 856 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,144 - Really? - Generally, I just need a few facts. 857 00:55:14,227 --> 00:55:16,021 And we're never doing family therapy again. 858 00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:20,817 It doesn't seem to be useful here. That was a shit-show. 859 00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:21,776 [LAUGHS] 860 00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,821 - Yeah, that's what my sister said. - I liked her. 861 00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:28,491 - Yeah, me too. We get along great. - I could tell. 862 00:55:28,575 --> 00:55:32,495 She was the only one who had something to say that wasn't entirely self-serving. 863 00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:33,580 Yeah. 864 00:55:36,499 --> 00:55:39,544 - Now, I'm gonna be honest with you. - Uh-oh. 865 00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:44,257 - I'm not crazy about your name. - What? 866 00:55:44,340 --> 00:55:47,218 "Ellen" doesn't suit you. It's too old-fashioned. 867 00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:51,097 - I've never really liked it. - So, change it. 868 00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:52,849 I can't just change it. 869 00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:55,935 I can't, right? 870 00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:58,646 Just tell people to call you by a different name. 871 00:55:58,730 --> 00:56:01,191 Or, if you wanna make it legal, you can fill out a form online 872 00:56:01,274 --> 00:56:02,609 in about ten minutes. 873 00:56:04,235 --> 00:56:05,653 I was thinking "Ellie." 874 00:56:06,696 --> 00:56:10,366 - Ooh… - That's no good. No. 875 00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:12,077 How about… 876 00:56:13,286 --> 00:56:14,496 "Eli"? 877 00:56:23,421 --> 00:56:24,464 Call me "Eli." 878 00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:28,343 [BOTH LAUGH] 879 00:56:28,426 --> 00:56:31,179 - You get your iPad? - Oh, yeah. 880 00:56:31,262 --> 00:56:33,848 The world opens up beyond your wildest dreams 881 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,308 when you put on some LBs. 882 00:56:35,391 --> 00:56:36,267 [SCOFFS] 883 00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,103 - Eli? - Yeah. 884 00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:40,396 Don't tell me you're gay now, too. 885 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,359 The male population cannot take another quality defection. 886 00:56:44,442 --> 00:56:47,570 - Most definitely not gay. - Thank God. 887 00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:53,576 No, "Eli" is a… new name for me. 888 00:56:53,660 --> 00:56:55,912 Ellen… Eli… 889 00:56:55,995 --> 00:57:00,333 Hm, I like it. It's very… George Sand. 890 00:57:00,416 --> 00:57:02,168 [BOTH LAUGH] 891 00:57:03,962 --> 00:57:06,756 You're dazzling. You know that, Eli? 892 00:57:08,383 --> 00:57:14,222 So, I'm officially inviting Eli to my dinner out tomorrow night. 893 00:57:14,305 --> 00:57:16,724 As part of my reward, I can take anyone I want. 894 00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:19,060 Um, I'm not really restaurant ready, but thanks. 895 00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:23,982 It can be your pick. It doesn't even have to be on Mr. Gold's essential 100. 896 00:57:24,065 --> 00:57:26,192 No, you should take someone who bites and chews… 897 00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:28,486 We can walk there. 898 00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:34,409 All the way to Hollywood or wherever, and you don't have to eat. 899 00:57:37,495 --> 00:57:38,538 Can I run? 900 00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:45,920 - I don't run, psycho. My knee, remember? - Well, can you walk fast? 901 00:57:46,004 --> 00:57:48,465 [LUKE] I read that it doesn't matter how fast you walk. 902 00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:50,800 It's distance. You burn the same amount of calories. 903 00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,678 - That's bullshit. - Will you just slow down a little? 904 00:57:53,761 --> 00:57:55,513 I'm not even going that fast. 905 00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:56,764 Um… 906 00:57:56,848 --> 00:58:00,310 I will have the number 12 with the rice and the egg roll. 907 00:58:00,393 --> 00:58:02,187 Mm-hmm. 908 00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:03,813 Can I have the Tom Tum Kai soup? 909 00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:05,940 - It comes with your entrée. - Oh, that's all… 910 00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:08,401 She'll have the number 12, too, with the egg roll. 911 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:09,402 No. 912 00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:10,862 - Yes. - No. 913 00:58:10,945 --> 00:58:13,990 She'll have the number 12, too, with the egg roll. 914 00:58:15,366 --> 00:58:17,744 - And to drink? - We'll have two Tsingtao. 915 00:58:18,995 --> 00:58:19,829 Your ID? 916 00:58:22,790 --> 00:58:24,459 [LUKE SIGHS, CHUCKLES] 917 00:58:24,542 --> 00:58:30,256 I… I don't wanna put you on the spot or anything, um… 918 00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:31,591 but we're from the hospice. 919 00:58:34,093 --> 00:58:35,136 For cancer. 920 00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:40,058 Um… 921 00:58:40,141 --> 00:58:43,853 - I'm sorry. I can't serve you without ID. - It's just, um… 922 00:58:44,854 --> 00:58:46,272 This is our first date. 923 00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:51,528 It's maybe our only date. I just… 924 00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:55,198 I don't know. I wanted it to be special. 925 00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:06,376 [QUIETLY] Thank you very much. 926 00:59:09,087 --> 00:59:11,214 [BOTH LAUGHING] 927 00:59:11,297 --> 00:59:14,801 We can pick a different disease for different restaurants. 928 00:59:14,884 --> 00:59:16,678 You're so sick. 929 00:59:16,761 --> 00:59:18,346 - We both are, actually. - Yeah. 930 00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:25,645 I put it in there so nobody would ask questions. 931 00:59:25,728 --> 00:59:29,315 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - [LUKE] Yeah. 932 00:59:30,483 --> 00:59:31,359 [LAUGHS] 933 00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:33,820 ♪ Oh… ♪ 934 00:59:33,903 --> 00:59:36,030 - You are so… - ♪ Oh… ♪ 935 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,325 - Are you…? - ♪ Oh… ♪ 936 00:59:39,409 --> 00:59:40,910 [BOTH LAUGHING] 937 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,247 You are so wrong. 938 00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:52,046 - [LUKE] Hmm? - Mm-hmm. 939 00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:54,966 - Bite. - I don't like egg rolls. 940 00:59:55,049 --> 00:59:56,509 Who doesn't like egg rolls? 941 00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:59,679 Chew and spit if you wanna be lame, but you look thinner. 942 00:59:59,762 --> 01:00:01,431 If I taste it, will you leave me alone? 943 01:00:01,514 --> 01:00:04,475 If you taste everything, I will leave you alone. 944 01:00:06,519 --> 01:00:09,814 Oh, yeah. So good. 945 01:00:09,897 --> 01:00:11,232 - Yeah. - Mm. 946 01:00:13,109 --> 01:00:15,612 - Mm! - Right? It's good, right? 947 01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:17,822 Uh-huh. Mm. 948 01:00:17,905 --> 01:00:19,949 - Swallow that egg roll. - Blegh! 949 01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:21,159 Oh… 950 01:00:23,328 --> 01:00:24,203 Oh! 951 01:00:25,913 --> 01:00:30,209 Jesus Christ. That was a thing of great beauty. 952 01:00:31,336 --> 01:00:34,005 - That's super hot. - I know. It's what I was going for. 953 01:00:35,089 --> 01:00:38,968 So, I find out I can pull the patient ID thing all the way up my arm 954 01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,595 and hide it underneath my T-shirt, 955 01:00:40,678 --> 01:00:45,224 and I just get out past the nurse's station, I just walk out. 956 01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:48,144 - Where were you even going? - The beach? 957 01:00:48,227 --> 01:00:49,854 [BOTH LAUGHING] 958 01:00:49,937 --> 01:00:51,731 I don't even know. 959 01:00:51,814 --> 01:00:54,651 But there I am, just jogging down Wilshire Boulevard. 960 01:00:55,860 --> 01:00:57,987 I'm a full-on crazy person, 961 01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:02,367 and I'm jogging at the light… when my mom drives up. 962 01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:05,870 - She was on the way to the hospital. - Oh, my God. 963 01:01:05,953 --> 01:01:06,954 You don't like it? 964 01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:09,374 [LAUGHING] 965 01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,127 No, I do. It's just, um… 966 01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:17,215 She… She just gets a bit nauseous because of, um… 967 01:01:18,633 --> 01:01:20,385 the chemo. 968 01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:24,180 But it tastes really good. The beer really helps. 969 01:01:25,556 --> 01:01:29,435 - I'll get you another one, no charge. - Thank you very much. 970 01:01:31,813 --> 01:01:34,273 - Yes. - Oh, my God. 971 01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:36,984 - No charge. - Oh, my God, we're going to hell. 972 01:01:37,068 --> 01:01:38,861 Yeah. [LAUGHS] 973 01:01:38,945 --> 01:01:40,446 [LAUGHS] 974 01:01:42,448 --> 01:01:46,577 - Did he try to kiss you? - Ew! Does he even like girls? 975 01:01:46,661 --> 01:01:47,995 No. 976 01:01:50,289 --> 01:01:51,874 I don't know. 977 01:01:53,584 --> 01:01:55,878 [GIGGLING] 978 01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:01,467 [GIRL] What I'm trying to say is, 979 01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:04,679 why does she get to leave the house when she's only level two? 980 01:02:04,762 --> 01:02:07,765 - It was Luke's night out. - Yeah, but Ellen got to go. 981 01:02:07,849 --> 01:02:08,975 It's "Eli" now. 982 01:02:11,144 --> 01:02:14,105 It might make you feel better to know that Dr. Beck scheduled a special trip 983 01:02:14,188 --> 01:02:15,940 for you guys in a couple of days. 984 01:02:16,023 --> 01:02:18,735 - Tell me it's not the Holocaust Museum. - No. 985 01:02:18,818 --> 01:02:22,697 My mother took me there to make me feel shitty, you know, about starving. 986 01:02:26,492 --> 01:02:27,827 It's okay. We're Jewish. 987 01:02:35,042 --> 01:02:38,296 Damn, Dr. Beck. Are you trying to turn me straight? 988 01:02:38,379 --> 01:02:39,589 [WOLF WHISTLES] 989 01:02:39,672 --> 01:02:41,257 That's a different program. 990 01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:43,426 - Hi, everyone. - Hey! 991 01:02:43,509 --> 01:02:47,305 Okay, so this place we're going, I had to pull some strings to get us in there, 992 01:02:47,388 --> 01:02:48,848 so you have to behave. 993 01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,516 Tell us. I can't stand it. 994 01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:52,810 Tell us! 995 01:02:52,894 --> 01:02:54,812 [ALL CHANT] Tell us! Tell us! 996 01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:57,148 Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! 997 01:02:57,231 --> 01:02:59,233 [WATER RUNNING] 998 01:03:00,818 --> 01:03:02,111 I don't like this. 999 01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,656 I'm definitely getting a Holocaust vibe, doc. 1000 01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:09,285 - It's okay, I promise. - I don't believe you. 1001 01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:24,801 What is it? 1002 01:03:27,553 --> 01:03:28,596 Art. 1003 01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:38,564 Somebody tell me why we're here! 1004 01:03:44,862 --> 01:03:46,113 Because we're alive. 1005 01:03:47,698 --> 01:03:49,742 - ["WATER" PLAYING] - Very good. 1006 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:56,249 ♪ Water leave ♪ ♪ Through the valleys you wore down ♪ 1007 01:03:56,332 --> 01:03:58,334 ♪ Wear me down ♪ 1008 01:04:01,921 --> 01:04:04,340 ♪ Drown me in the water ♪ 1009 01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:07,552 ♪ Drown me in the sea ♪ 1010 01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:12,473 ♪ Lose me in the dark ♪ ♪ Drag me to the deep ♪ 1011 01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:16,477 ♪ Let your water wash over me ♪ 1012 01:04:23,734 --> 01:04:26,362 ♪ Water ♪ 1013 01:04:27,488 --> 01:04:30,241 ♪ Water rise ♪ 1014 01:04:31,909 --> 01:04:34,161 ♪ Find a woman ♪ 1015 01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:38,749 ♪ And dance through the moon's light ♪ 1016 01:04:38,833 --> 01:04:40,751 ♪ Leave me the rain ♪ 1017 01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:43,963 ♪ Drown me in the water ♪ 1018 01:04:44,046 --> 01:04:46,257 ♪ Drown me in the sea ♪ 1019 01:04:47,758 --> 01:04:51,137 ♪ Lose me in the dark ♪ ♪ Drag me to the deep ♪ 1020 01:04:51,220 --> 01:04:54,557 ♪ Let your water wash over me ♪ 1021 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,809 ♪ Wash ♪ 1022 01:04:58,352 --> 01:04:59,854 ♪ Wash ♪ 1023 01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:03,733 ♪ Wash ♪ 1024 01:05:23,794 --> 01:05:26,547 ♪ Drown me in your water ♪ 1025 01:05:26,631 --> 01:05:28,925 ♪ Drown me in the water ♪ 1026 01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:31,594 ♪ Drown me in the sea ♪ 1027 01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:36,015 ♪ Drown me in the water ♪ 1028 01:05:37,391 --> 01:05:39,644 ♪ Drown me in the sea ♪ 1029 01:05:40,811 --> 01:05:43,022 ♪ Drown me in the water ♪ 1030 01:05:44,148 --> 01:05:46,275 ♪ Drown me in the sea ♪ 1031 01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:51,572 Here you go. 1032 01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:53,199 You're shaking like a chihuahua. 1033 01:06:15,429 --> 01:06:16,889 I know what you're trying to do. 1034 01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:22,979 Life's beautiful and all that… shit. 1035 01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:26,983 And that upsets you because…? 1036 01:06:28,275 --> 01:06:29,735 [SCOFFS] 1037 01:06:29,819 --> 01:06:31,028 Because it is. 1038 01:06:34,365 --> 01:06:40,913 I mean, I… I know it can be, but I… I can't stop. 1039 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:48,546 And I don't even know why. I just… I just can't. 1040 01:06:48,629 --> 01:06:54,176 Yeah, that's bullshit. That voice that says you can't. 1041 01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:57,346 Every time you hear that voice, I want you to tell it to fuck off. 1042 01:06:58,723 --> 01:07:03,352 - Fuck off, voice! - [LUKE] Yeah! Fuck off! 1043 01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:05,771 - [ANNA] Fuck you, voice! - [KENDRA] Fuck you, voice! 1044 01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:07,606 - Fuck you, voice! - Fuck off! 1045 01:07:08,733 --> 01:07:10,359 Fuck! 1046 01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:13,320 - [APPLAUSE] - [LUKE] Yeah! Whoo! 1047 01:07:13,404 --> 01:07:14,739 [ANNA] Yeah! Yeah! 1048 01:07:14,822 --> 01:07:16,198 Fuck off. 1049 01:07:16,282 --> 01:07:19,285 [ALL SHOUTING] 1050 01:07:27,251 --> 01:07:30,004 - That's what they always say. - I know. 1051 01:07:30,087 --> 01:07:32,214 - What are you… ooh! - I'll go blueberry. 1052 01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:33,424 I didn't say… 1053 01:07:33,507 --> 01:07:34,467 [LAUGHS] 1054 01:08:11,545 --> 01:08:13,547 Try not to look too pleased with yourself. 1055 01:08:13,631 --> 01:08:15,633 [LAUGHS] 1056 01:08:22,389 --> 01:08:25,601 - [LUKE] Mm-hmm. - [LAUGHTER] 1057 01:08:25,684 --> 01:08:27,353 "Cassidy." That's her name. 1058 01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,149 Um… 1059 01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:37,154 It's a girl, and today she is 12 weeks and one day old. 1060 01:08:37,238 --> 01:08:39,949 - [GASPS] Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. 1061 01:08:43,035 --> 01:08:45,704 Can we have the baby shower now? 1062 01:08:45,788 --> 01:08:50,417 [SIGHS] Yes, but I… Just don't be a spaz about it, okay? 1063 01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:52,211 - [PEARL] Okay. Sorry. - Don't go… 1064 01:08:52,294 --> 01:08:54,296 She's gonna have ponies everywhere. 1065 01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:55,548 Ta-da! 1066 01:08:55,631 --> 01:08:57,633 - [ALL CHEER] - [LUKE] Oh, yeah. 1067 01:08:57,716 --> 01:08:58,759 Amazing. 1068 01:09:03,180 --> 01:09:05,474 I mean, that's one sassy unicorn. 1069 01:09:06,517 --> 01:09:08,060 I can't believe you drew that for her. 1070 01:09:09,895 --> 01:09:11,981 - You're welcome. - It's awesome. 1071 01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:16,360 Um, I love you guys and thank you. 1072 01:09:16,443 --> 01:09:17,820 [ALL] Cheers. 1073 01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:20,865 [ALL CHATTER, LAUGH] 1074 01:09:38,424 --> 01:09:39,341 Whee! 1075 01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:40,718 [LAUGHS] 1076 01:09:40,801 --> 01:09:42,511 - It's so crazy. - It's so high. 1077 01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:44,388 - I'm actually quite terrified. - Oh, my God. 1078 01:09:44,471 --> 01:09:46,223 - Fifty feet up. - Here we go. 1079 01:09:46,307 --> 01:09:49,268 Whoa. Whoa! [LAUGHS] 1080 01:09:49,351 --> 01:09:53,272 - All right, now it's your turn. - No, I'd better not. 1081 01:09:53,355 --> 01:09:56,108 - Fucking knee. - That knee. 1082 01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:00,237 Yup. 1083 01:10:15,002 --> 01:10:16,003 Sorry. 1084 01:10:19,006 --> 01:10:21,217 Did somebody bad touch you as a kid or something? 1085 01:10:22,676 --> 01:10:25,221 - It's a big rexie thing. - No. 1086 01:10:26,972 --> 01:10:28,641 Not really. 1087 01:10:28,724 --> 01:10:31,894 Hmm. Let's talk about that "really." 1088 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:36,899 Just normal shit. 1089 01:10:39,401 --> 01:10:42,488 The second you get boobs, it's like open season. 1090 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:48,118 You guys are pretty disgusting that way. 1091 01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:50,788 We could at least have some manners about it. 1092 01:10:50,871 --> 01:10:53,582 Not rub up against you guys on the bus. 1093 01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,251 Oh, bus rubbing. 1094 01:10:56,627 --> 01:11:02,424 Titty grabbing… gross dirty talk… night stalking… 1095 01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:06,136 You're all basically just a bunch of portable holes for men to fuck. 1096 01:11:07,429 --> 01:11:09,139 Hmm. 1097 01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:11,725 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 1098 01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:14,979 So… have you… done it? 1099 01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:19,275 Or… was it just too appalling? 1100 01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:24,780 Entirely too appalling. 1101 01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:28,534 Ever had an orgasm? 1102 01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:30,077 [LAUGHS] 1103 01:11:30,160 --> 01:11:32,329 - Um… God! - Sorry. 1104 01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:35,249 - You don't have to answer that. - Personal. 1105 01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:39,837 It's different for guys, you know. It's… It's very different. 1106 01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:42,881 There it is… bobbing at you. 1107 01:11:42,965 --> 01:11:44,133 [LAUGHS] 1108 01:11:44,216 --> 01:11:48,345 Just bobbing, begging to be manhandled. 1109 01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:49,930 [GROANS] 1110 01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:52,224 That's… That's way too much information. 1111 01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:55,561 Not right now, but it could be. 1112 01:11:57,062 --> 01:11:58,439 I just… 1113 01:11:58,522 --> 01:12:00,190 - Okay. - I… 1114 01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:04,737 I need to do my research. And you… 1115 01:12:07,197 --> 01:12:11,827 …need to be touched by someone who actually cares about you. 1116 01:12:14,163 --> 01:12:14,997 Luke… 1117 01:12:39,897 --> 01:12:41,357 I'm falling in love with you. 1118 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:47,529 - God! Luke, really? I… - I'm sorry. 1119 01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:50,949 - No, sorry, it's just… - No, you're right. 1120 01:12:51,033 --> 01:12:53,786 It'll be like slapping two bags of bones together anyway. 1121 01:12:55,287 --> 01:12:58,540 - We should go back inside. - Hey! What the fuck? 1122 01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:01,752 What the fuck what? 1123 01:13:01,835 --> 01:13:04,546 Suddenly, you decide this is a physical thing, 1124 01:13:04,630 --> 01:13:06,632 and I'm caught by surprise, 1125 01:13:06,715 --> 01:13:09,927 and now you're just gonna go pout and make this my fault? 1126 01:13:10,010 --> 01:13:12,721 All right, I'm sorry. Obviously, it was a bad idea. 1127 01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:16,809 I just thought, if you knew I wanted it to be good or different… 1128 01:13:16,892 --> 01:13:18,894 And you're falling in love with me? 1129 01:13:18,977 --> 01:13:22,564 Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to unleash the Kraken. 1130 01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:26,819 - I've known you for, like, three weeks. - Well, I've known you for two years. 1131 01:13:26,902 --> 01:13:29,363 Your drawing, the way you see things… 1132 01:13:29,446 --> 01:13:32,658 Yeah? Oh, okay. 1133 01:13:32,741 --> 01:13:38,664 This rexie girl, who saw my stuff on Tumblr, liked the way I saw… so much, 1134 01:13:38,747 --> 01:13:43,043 that when she slit her wrists, she left me the fucking note. 1135 01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,422 And you know what her parents did? 1136 01:13:47,881 --> 01:13:52,511 They sent me pictures… so I'd really know what I'd done. 1137 01:13:57,015 --> 01:13:58,767 People say they love you… 1138 01:14:00,144 --> 01:14:01,186 but what they mean is, 1139 01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:05,899 they love how loving you makes them feel about themselves. 1140 01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:11,071 Or… [SNIFFLES] Or they love what they can take from you. 1141 01:14:11,155 --> 01:14:14,867 I don't even know where to start with that. That's all kinds of wrong. 1142 01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:17,494 I'm done. 1143 01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:23,125 Okay, all right, you win! All right? You're the queen of darkness. 1144 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:25,878 Hey, come on! 1145 01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:39,224 [PANTING] 1146 01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:41,768 [GRUNTING] 1147 01:14:51,612 --> 01:14:53,739 [MEGAN CRIES OUT] 1148 01:14:53,822 --> 01:14:55,908 [MEGAN SCREAMING] 1149 01:14:58,202 --> 01:15:00,537 - Megan! - Megan? 1150 01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:03,081 Megan! Megan, it's Luke! Let me in! 1151 01:15:04,791 --> 01:15:06,460 - [LOBO GRUNTS] - [KEYS RATTLE] 1152 01:15:06,543 --> 01:15:09,463 [MEGAN WAILS] 1153 01:15:17,387 --> 01:15:20,390 [MEGAN SOBS] I thought I was safe. 1154 01:15:21,725 --> 01:15:23,602 [LOBO] I know, I know. 1155 01:15:25,729 --> 01:15:27,481 It's gonna be okay. 1156 01:15:27,564 --> 01:15:29,900 [MEGAN SOBS] 1157 01:15:29,983 --> 01:15:31,235 [LOBO] I know. I'm sorry. 1158 01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:34,988 Guys, go back to bed. 1159 01:15:35,072 --> 01:15:37,115 [MEGAN SCREAMS] 1160 01:15:53,090 --> 01:15:55,384 Can you push a baby out by throwing up too hard? 1161 01:15:57,010 --> 01:16:01,807 Yeah, that's exactly how it happens. Don't be an idiot. 1162 01:16:05,352 --> 01:16:06,937 Good morning. 1163 01:16:07,020 --> 01:16:08,313 - Good morning. - Hi. 1164 01:16:10,691 --> 01:16:11,984 How's Megan? 1165 01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:17,489 [SIGHS] She's at the hospital. She's fine now, physically. 1166 01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:22,411 She's not sure she wants to come back here… 1167 01:16:23,870 --> 01:16:25,080 which I understand. 1168 01:16:26,456 --> 01:16:27,666 Can we visit her? 1169 01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:33,005 Not yet, but I think, in a few days, that's exactly what she needs. 1170 01:16:33,088 --> 01:16:34,006 I wanna go home. 1171 01:16:36,049 --> 01:16:37,134 I bet you do. 1172 01:16:39,136 --> 01:16:45,017 Listen. Bad things are going to happen. That's not negotiable. 1173 01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:48,854 What is, is how you deal with it. 1174 01:16:56,111 --> 01:16:57,112 Would you read this? 1175 01:16:58,530 --> 01:17:00,365 - Do I have to? - No. 1176 01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:03,201 Okay. 1177 01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:16,048 '"Courage' by Anne Sexton. 1178 01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:22,220 It is in the small things that we see it. 1179 01:17:22,304 --> 01:17:27,059 The child's first step, as awesome as an earthquake. 1180 01:17:27,142 --> 01:17:31,271 The first time you rode a bike, wallowing up the sidewalk. 1181 01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:35,859 The first spanking, when your heart went on a journey all alone. 1182 01:17:35,942 --> 01:17:40,906 When they called you 'crybaby' or 'poor' or 'fatty' or 'crazy'… 1183 01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:43,241 and made you into an alien… 1184 01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,744 "you drank their acid and you concealed it." 1185 01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:55,420 [CLEARS THROAT] "Later, if you faced the death of bombs and bullets…" 1186 01:17:56,421 --> 01:17:58,715 you did not do it with a banner. 1187 01:17:58,799 --> 01:18:01,802 You did it with only a hat to cover your heart. 1188 01:18:02,969 --> 01:18:06,598 You did not fondle the weakness inside you though it was there. 1189 01:18:09,726 --> 01:18:12,979 "Your courage was a small coal that you kept swallowing." 1190 01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:19,236 [SIGHS] 1191 01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,324 So, Megan did decide to go home. 1192 01:18:29,913 --> 01:18:31,665 Anybody wanna talk about that? 1193 01:18:35,585 --> 01:18:38,547 It's her fault. She was purging. 1194 01:18:41,049 --> 01:18:45,470 I think Megan wanted her baby. I really think she did. 1195 01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:49,725 - We shouldn't have had the shower. - No, I don't think it was that. 1196 01:18:53,770 --> 01:18:55,147 Eli, you and Luke found her. 1197 01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:58,984 That must have been hard. 1198 01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:03,989 That baby was never gonna make it. 1199 01:19:07,409 --> 01:19:11,413 - Where is Luke, anyway? - He's at the doctor for his knee. 1200 01:19:15,667 --> 01:19:16,668 Eli? 1201 01:19:19,504 --> 01:19:20,630 Eli. 1202 01:19:22,966 --> 01:19:24,426 [BECKHAM] What's going on with you? 1203 01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:26,762 Nothing. 1204 01:19:27,971 --> 01:19:31,183 Lobo tells me you're about a day away from getting the tube. 1205 01:19:32,642 --> 01:19:33,810 You've been making progress, 1206 01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:36,855 but you can't stay at Threshold if you drop any more weight. 1207 01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:43,195 I just think it's so weird that you know everything about me… 1208 01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,198 and I don't know anything about you. 1209 01:19:48,116 --> 01:19:51,119 Okay, what do you wanna know? 1210 01:19:52,537 --> 01:19:54,414 - Do you have a wife? - No. 1211 01:19:55,540 --> 01:19:58,960 - Do you have kids? - No. 1212 01:19:59,044 --> 01:20:01,546 So, what's your damage? 1213 01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,882 Short version, my work. 1214 01:20:05,091 --> 01:20:09,930 It takes up all my time, and I… I like it that way. 1215 01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:14,601 Women generally wanna spend time with somebody they date. 1216 01:20:15,685 --> 01:20:18,104 Sounds like you're avoiding intimacy, doctor. 1217 01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:20,315 [LAUGHS] 1218 01:20:21,358 --> 01:20:23,276 Yeah, I guess it does. 1219 01:20:26,696 --> 01:20:30,492 Lobo also tells me that you and Luke aren't speaking. 1220 01:20:30,575 --> 01:20:32,994 It seemed like you and Luke had something good going. 1221 01:20:33,078 --> 01:20:35,705 Whatever. He's totally gay. 1222 01:20:35,789 --> 01:20:39,334 That would be easier, right? Then you could write him off. 1223 01:20:41,044 --> 01:20:44,089 - Does he talk to you about me? - You know I can't answer that. 1224 01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:55,892 - I just don't see the point. - In what? 1225 01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:00,772 [BECKHAM SIGHS] 1226 01:21:04,109 --> 01:21:05,610 There is no point. 1227 01:21:07,070 --> 01:21:10,407 Or at least, big picture, we don't get to know what it is. 1228 01:21:10,490 --> 01:21:15,036 Why we live, why Megan lost the baby, why that girl killed herself. 1229 01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:18,498 - You're not reassuring me, doctor. - I can't reassure you. 1230 01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:22,919 This idea you have that there's a way to be safe… 1231 01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:24,880 it's childish and cowardly. 1232 01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:29,801 It stops you from experiencing anything, including anything good. 1233 01:21:29,885 --> 01:21:31,845 You don't think I feel bad enough already? 1234 01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:34,723 I know I'm messed up… 1235 01:21:36,224 --> 01:21:39,561 but you're supposed to teach me how not to be. 1236 01:21:39,644 --> 01:21:41,813 You know how. 1237 01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:46,818 Stop waiting for life to be easy. Stop hoping for somebody to save you. 1238 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:49,863 You don't need another person lying to you. 1239 01:21:49,946 --> 01:21:51,948 Things don't all add up. 1240 01:21:53,241 --> 01:21:55,785 But you're resilient. 1241 01:21:55,869 --> 01:22:00,123 Face some hard facts and you could have an incredible life. 1242 01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:04,336 That's your pearl of wisdom? 1243 01:22:06,546 --> 01:22:08,048 Grow a pair? 1244 01:22:09,549 --> 01:22:13,678 That's a more concise way of putting it. Yeah. 1245 01:22:17,057 --> 01:22:18,183 Unbelievable. 1246 01:22:19,893 --> 01:22:21,394 [SCOFFS] Fuck you. 1247 01:22:25,857 --> 01:22:29,444 - What's going on? - Beck's messed up, you know that? 1248 01:22:29,527 --> 01:22:33,114 We all buy the hype, but nobody here is getting any better. 1249 01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:36,910 - That's not true. - Yeah? Megan's screwed. 1250 01:22:36,993 --> 01:22:39,663 Anna has a treasure chest of puke under her bed. 1251 01:22:39,746 --> 01:22:42,165 You live in fucking Ponyland. 1252 01:22:42,248 --> 01:22:45,377 I'm about to get the tube, and he doesn't even care. 1253 01:22:49,923 --> 01:22:50,966 Shit. 1254 01:22:52,175 --> 01:22:58,556 I need another surgery. That's it for me and the illustrious Jersey Ballet. 1255 01:22:58,640 --> 01:22:59,849 Seriously? 1256 01:23:02,018 --> 01:23:06,189 Yeah. Come on, put your bag down. Let's go get another cancer beer. 1257 01:23:06,272 --> 01:23:08,692 I can't. Sorry. I'm actually out of here. 1258 01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,151 Did you hear what I said? 1259 01:23:11,695 --> 01:23:15,156 I'm finished. And you're leaving? 1260 01:23:18,034 --> 01:23:19,995 I can't. 1261 01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:23,039 What, you think I didn't guess my knee was fucked? 1262 01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:27,669 And now that I'm done doing the one thing that makes me feel, 1263 01:23:27,752 --> 01:23:29,004 you're my next thing. 1264 01:23:31,381 --> 01:23:33,758 [SCOFFS] 1265 01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:38,388 I know that that's not a plan. It's not a good one, anyway. 1266 01:23:40,432 --> 01:23:43,560 But I need you… Eli. 1267 01:23:57,198 --> 01:23:59,701 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 1268 01:23:59,784 --> 01:24:01,953 Okay. Thank you. Bye. 1269 01:24:03,371 --> 01:24:04,456 - Thank you. - Sure. 1270 01:24:12,338 --> 01:24:13,923 [GRUNTS] 1271 01:24:23,058 --> 01:24:24,309 [BECKHAM] There is no point. 1272 01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:27,312 That girl killed herself. 1273 01:24:29,355 --> 01:24:30,899 You look like a ghost. 1274 01:24:33,234 --> 01:24:34,444 [KELLY] If you die… 1275 01:24:36,196 --> 01:24:38,073 I will kill you. 1276 01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:39,199 [WOMAN] You okay, honey? 1277 01:24:40,617 --> 01:24:44,287 I… I just got up too fast. Sorry. 1278 01:24:45,830 --> 01:24:47,207 You need to eat, girl. 1279 01:24:47,290 --> 01:24:52,504 I'm fine. But thank you. I just need to get home. 1280 01:25:38,466 --> 01:25:39,801 What kind of place is this, 1281 01:25:39,884 --> 01:25:42,720 where your patients can just walk off like that and nobody stops her? 1282 01:25:42,804 --> 01:25:45,932 The problem with treatment for some of these kids… 1283 01:25:46,015 --> 01:25:48,143 is that we won't let them hit bottom. 1284 01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:52,772 It's too hard to watch. But for Eli, the bottom is critical. 1285 01:26:06,828 --> 01:26:11,291 How is there even less of you? What did that doctor do to you? 1286 01:26:11,374 --> 01:26:12,375 Hi, Mom. 1287 01:26:13,376 --> 01:26:15,837 - Is this all you've got? - Yeah. 1288 01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:18,715 All right. Well, everybody's waiting for you. 1289 01:26:18,798 --> 01:26:22,343 - "Everybody"? - Horses. They're very sweet beasts. 1290 01:26:23,845 --> 01:26:25,263 [HORSE SNORTS] 1291 01:26:26,306 --> 01:26:29,184 Olive and I were worried that it wasn't gonna work out with that doctor. 1292 01:26:29,267 --> 01:26:31,811 - Well, he had such an attitude. - Oh, God complex. 1293 01:26:31,895 --> 01:26:33,855 - Totally dismissive. - And Susan… 1294 01:26:33,938 --> 01:26:38,193 - I mean, he really let her attack us. - He just wanted everybody to be honest. 1295 01:26:38,276 --> 01:26:39,527 I don't like to speak negatively, 1296 01:26:39,611 --> 01:26:42,113 but that woman's never said an honest word in her life. 1297 01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:44,199 Of course, your father doesn't go home. Can you imagine? 1298 01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:46,618 She fought really hard to get me into Threshold House. 1299 01:26:46,701 --> 01:26:48,244 Yeah, look how well that turned out. 1300 01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:52,749 And how about the way she talked about your mother's breakdowns? 1301 01:26:52,832 --> 01:26:56,753 They were transformational for me. Everybody should have more breakdowns. 1302 01:26:59,505 --> 01:27:01,633 You didn't feel that way about them when they happened. 1303 01:27:08,014 --> 01:27:11,809 Dr. Beckham called here earlier. He thought you might turn up. 1304 01:27:11,893 --> 01:27:15,563 - He did? What did you say? - Well, that you'd decided to leave. 1305 01:27:15,647 --> 01:27:18,566 He wanted to make sure you were okay. 1306 01:27:18,650 --> 01:27:21,945 A boy wanted to speak with you. Luke? 1307 01:27:22,028 --> 01:27:25,240 [SIGHS] 1308 01:27:25,323 --> 01:27:29,035 Is this somebody special? 1309 01:27:29,118 --> 01:27:30,495 I don't know. He… 1310 01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:34,624 He's my friend, kind of… 1311 01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:37,669 It all got fucked up. 1312 01:27:45,927 --> 01:27:49,097 In the morning, Olive would like you to work with Freya. 1313 01:27:51,599 --> 01:27:52,642 The horse? 1314 01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:56,604 Olive has grown tremendously out here. You'll thank me. 1315 01:27:56,688 --> 01:28:00,525 But isn't that kind of like a conflict? Her giving me therapy? 1316 01:28:00,608 --> 01:28:05,446 Freya does all the work. I'm just a conduit. 1317 01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:07,699 - Oh. - Yeah, she's just a conduit. 1318 01:28:08,741 --> 01:28:13,788 There's no electricity, but I think… It's not so cold. You'll be okay. 1319 01:28:15,123 --> 01:28:18,584 - You're gonna sleep, anyway. - Yeah, I'm tired. 1320 01:28:18,668 --> 01:28:22,964 There's a bedpan here. So, if you need it… 1321 01:28:23,047 --> 01:28:25,466 It's better than stumbling around in the dark. 1322 01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:26,592 Okay. 1323 01:28:27,677 --> 01:28:32,056 - People pay money to stay here? - It's rustic. They love it. 1324 01:28:45,945 --> 01:28:48,197 - Ellen… - "Eli." 1325 01:28:48,281 --> 01:28:51,617 You know, "Ellen" was your great-grandmother's name. 1326 01:28:51,701 --> 01:28:53,328 I bet she didn't like it either. 1327 01:28:56,831 --> 01:29:02,128 You know, I… had a premonition before you came. 1328 01:29:02,211 --> 01:29:05,923 - Really? - You were a baby. 1329 01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:09,093 I didn't hold you enough. I didn't bond with you. 1330 01:29:10,553 --> 01:29:14,349 And, of course, that's true. I didn't know about postpartum depression. 1331 01:29:15,683 --> 01:29:19,103 - I don't think that's it. - Well, anyway… 1332 01:29:22,690 --> 01:29:26,486 I spoke to Jean Williamson about it. Do you remember her? 1333 01:29:26,569 --> 01:29:30,823 - The pastor? - No, she wrote The Pure Way of Light. 1334 01:29:30,907 --> 01:29:33,326 She's very interested in Olive's work 1335 01:29:33,409 --> 01:29:38,956 and has been… a great comfort to me around your illness. 1336 01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:40,041 And she… 1337 01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:46,506 feels that it would be healing for the both of us 1338 01:29:46,589 --> 01:29:50,510 if you allowed me to feed you. 1339 01:30:00,978 --> 01:30:05,441 - It's rice milk. I made it myself. - Like a baby? 1340 01:30:06,609 --> 01:30:09,237 Well, like a mother and a child. 1341 01:30:10,530 --> 01:30:15,660 I could hold you and rock you, and you could go to sleep. 1342 01:30:17,453 --> 01:30:18,621 Uh, I don't know. 1343 01:30:20,081 --> 01:30:24,168 No, I know. I know it's odd. 1344 01:30:25,878 --> 01:30:26,712 But… 1345 01:30:27,713 --> 01:30:31,926 Well, as she said it, I felt real clarity that that's what we need. 1346 01:30:34,303 --> 01:30:35,429 Can I think about it? 1347 01:30:38,307 --> 01:30:39,892 Yeah, okay. 1348 01:30:47,233 --> 01:30:48,067 There's, uh… 1349 01:30:49,986 --> 01:30:54,115 not much left of you to lose. You know that? 1350 01:30:55,283 --> 01:30:58,119 - Dr. Beckham made that clear. - I know. 1351 01:30:59,996 --> 01:31:01,539 Hmm. 1352 01:31:01,622 --> 01:31:05,084 He said it's your choice, whether you come back or not. 1353 01:31:06,669 --> 01:31:10,673 But I could tell that he was afraid that you're gonna die. 1354 01:31:12,842 --> 01:31:16,762 Ellen, my… my baby. 1355 01:31:16,846 --> 01:31:18,306 [VOICE BREAKS] I… 1356 01:31:18,389 --> 01:31:19,515 I know. 1357 01:31:20,808 --> 01:31:22,393 I'm sorry. 1358 01:31:24,687 --> 01:31:25,730 And… 1359 01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,317 I just want you to know that… 1360 01:31:31,152 --> 01:31:32,653 I accept it if… 1361 01:31:34,113 --> 01:31:36,741 If death is what you want, I accept it now. 1362 01:31:39,160 --> 01:31:42,747 I accept it, but um… I love you. 1363 01:31:44,749 --> 01:31:46,751 I just… I can't keep fighting you. 1364 01:31:49,045 --> 01:31:50,087 All right. 1365 01:31:51,756 --> 01:31:52,798 Okay. 1366 01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:55,468 Mom? 1367 01:31:57,053 --> 01:31:57,887 Yeah? 1368 01:32:02,475 --> 01:32:03,851 Feed me, please. 1369 01:32:05,895 --> 01:32:06,979 Yeah. 1370 01:32:09,899 --> 01:32:10,942 Yeah. 1371 01:32:12,735 --> 01:32:13,778 Okay. 1372 01:32:17,698 --> 01:32:18,741 Okay. 1373 01:32:24,830 --> 01:32:27,833 Can you hold this? Hold on. 1374 01:32:29,919 --> 01:32:33,547 Okay. Do you mind if I put your feet down? 1375 01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:37,760 Okay. Are you comfortable? 1376 01:32:37,843 --> 01:32:40,596 - Okay. - [SNIFFLING] 1377 01:32:44,934 --> 01:32:46,811 - Yeah? Okay. - Yeah. 1378 01:32:53,776 --> 01:32:55,528 [ELLEN SOBS] 1379 01:32:58,114 --> 01:33:00,491 ♪ Hush little baby ♪ 1380 01:33:00,574 --> 01:33:02,285 - [SNIFFLING] - ♪ Don't say a word ♪ 1381 01:33:04,745 --> 01:33:08,916 ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪ 1382 01:33:10,001 --> 01:33:13,337 ♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪ 1383 01:33:16,132 --> 01:33:19,468 ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪ 1384 01:33:20,594 --> 01:33:25,433 ♪ And if that diamond ring turns brass ♪ 1385 01:33:27,476 --> 01:33:30,604 ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass ♪ 1386 01:35:05,533 --> 01:35:06,659 [GROANS] 1387 01:35:16,544 --> 01:35:17,962 [SIGHS] 1388 01:35:20,214 --> 01:35:21,257 Okay. 1389 01:35:37,982 --> 01:35:41,527 You need to get out of the sun. You're frying. 1390 01:35:47,241 --> 01:35:48,576 There's a tree. 1391 01:36:00,296 --> 01:36:02,006 [JUDY] I just want you to know that… 1392 01:36:03,799 --> 01:36:05,259 I accept it. 1393 01:36:06,385 --> 01:36:09,346 - [ELLEN] I just don't see the point. - [BECKHAM] There is no point. 1394 01:36:10,806 --> 01:36:12,266 [KELLY] Can you please just try this time? 1395 01:36:16,562 --> 01:36:19,273 [SUSAN] Not too good. Not perfect. 1396 01:36:20,608 --> 01:36:22,776 [SIGHS] Pretty. 1397 01:36:25,362 --> 01:36:27,323 [VOICES WHISPERING] 1398 01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:31,869 [KELLY] I don't get to have a sister. 1399 01:36:39,627 --> 01:36:42,838 You're dazzling. You know that? 1400 01:36:44,757 --> 01:36:45,841 I do not. 1401 01:37:19,500 --> 01:37:20,543 Shit. 1402 01:37:23,128 --> 01:37:24,171 Hey. 1403 01:37:25,589 --> 01:37:26,757 I need you to look. 1404 01:37:41,981 --> 01:37:43,983 Oh, my God. Is that me? 1405 01:37:53,200 --> 01:37:54,201 That's me. 1406 01:38:01,875 --> 01:38:05,629 Your courage is a small coal that you keep swallowing. 1407 01:38:28,986 --> 01:38:30,529 [COUGHING] 1408 01:38:39,330 --> 01:38:40,289 [SIGHS] 1409 01:39:14,031 --> 01:39:15,115 [CHUCKLES] 1410 01:39:19,870 --> 01:39:20,954 Not dead. 1411 01:39:21,038 --> 01:39:22,998 [BREATHES HEAVILY] 1412 01:39:28,879 --> 01:39:31,924 ["FOLLOW THE SUN" PLAYING] 1413 01:39:51,026 --> 01:39:53,821 ♪ Follow ♪ 1414 01:39:53,904 --> 01:39:57,741 ♪ Follow the sun ♪ 1415 01:39:57,825 --> 01:40:01,745 ♪ And which way the wind blows ♪ 1416 01:40:01,829 --> 01:40:04,498 ♪ When this day is done ♪ 1417 01:40:06,917 --> 01:40:10,254 ♪ And breathe ♪ 1418 01:40:10,337 --> 01:40:13,924 ♪ Breathe in the air ♪ 1419 01:40:14,007 --> 01:40:17,970 ♪ Cherish this moment ♪ 1420 01:40:18,053 --> 01:40:21,098 ♪ Cherish this breath ♪ 1421 01:40:23,809 --> 01:40:24,935 I'm gonna be okay. 1422 01:40:29,398 --> 01:40:32,735 Whatever. You do this again, I'm gonna punch you in the vagina. 1423 01:40:32,818 --> 01:40:34,236 [BOTH LAUGH] 1424 01:40:45,330 --> 01:40:47,416 - You sure? - Yeah. 1425 01:40:47,499 --> 01:40:48,333 Okay. 1426 01:40:50,544 --> 01:40:51,378 Okay. 1427 01:40:53,297 --> 01:40:56,467 ♪ So follow ♪ 1428 01:40:56,550 --> 01:40:59,219 ♪ Follow the sun ♪ 1429 01:41:00,345 --> 01:41:04,266 ♪ And which way the wind blows ♪ 1430 01:41:04,349 --> 01:41:07,644 ♪ When this day is done ♪