[theme music plays]
Are you upset I'm leaving, my love?
You've been looking sad since yesterday. What is it?
Nothing.
You don't want to stay alone with Daddy?
No, it's--it's just…
Mommy, are we completely white?
What do you mean?
Do we have anything else other than white ancestors?
I'm not 100% sure, but pretty much, yes.
We're studying slavery.
White people were slave traders, Mom.
Slavery was so evil.
Yes, slavery was a true evil thing.
And we're the terrible white people who did those things, Mom.
Our ancestors.
They would separate families, sell children, whip them.
Listen, Albert,
our ancestors were growing cabbage near Saint-Malo in Brittany,
and on your dad's side, in Auvergne, mostly sheep farmers.
We don't have ancestors that were slave traders.
Really?
I mean, France was more colonial, which is not great but…
What about my friends at school?
Are they descendants of slave traders?
Well, I can't speak for their ancestors,
but for us, strictly cabbage and cheese.
Are we rich, Mom?
Uh, rich? Yes. We're good. We're fine.
You don't have to worry about anything.
It says that John and Paul came from poor families.
Kids of rich people don't achieve great things.
Hmm.
Well, we're not that rich because if I lose my job tomorrow,
we'll lose everything.
Even the house?
Even the house.
[chuckles] Good night, Mom.
-[in French] -I love you. -I love you.
[in English] Do you remember that beautiful little lime green frog,
the ring holder you made me?
I was looking at it this morning and I was thinking
it would be so nice if you made me something like that again.
So, that's why doing your birthday at Pottery Corner
is such a great idea, you know?
You and Dad said yes to paintball because this year
it's actually my real birthday.
You know how much I hate being born on a leap year.
-It's not fair. -All right.
I don't want you to get upset. I just--I'm a little concerned.
The other kids, you know, their parents
might not let them go, you know?
All my friends were super excited.
All right. I just--I don't understand
why you like shooting guns so much, Orion.
It's just a game, Mom. I'm scared of real guns.
We can go to Pottery Corner over the weekend
and I'll make you whatever you want. Okay?
[chuckles] Yeah. All right. It's a deal.
[smooches]
All right.
You should get some sleep…
[in Farsi] my dear.
-Good night. -Good night.
[in English] Yeah?
Do you think that Dad is gonna come back
and live with us anytime soon?
I don't know, sweetie.
Well, you don't have to be sad.
You have me and we have each other.
And that's the truth.
That is the truth. [chuckles]
Sometimes I wish we could go live
in a tiny little burrow, like bunnies.
I love bunnies.
Like this.
-[Sebastian] It's so cozy. -[Anne chuckles]
[Sebastian] Can we go live in a burrow with Sir Gaga?
[Anne] Yes. We'll live with him. Only him.
[both laugh]
Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I fell asleep.
I just… I'm gonna make you some dinner.
-What do you guys want? -Mom, it's 10:00 PM.
I made mac and cheese and then put Kai to bed.
Well, that's really sweet of you. Thank you.
Yeah, he's a good kid.
You're all good kids. I'm a super lucky mom.
-So where's your brother? -He's in the bathroom.
He's been in there for 20 minutes and I don't know why.
Oliver?
[Oliver] Can I have some privacy? I'm pooping.
-Oliver. -Leave me alone.
No, no one poops at 10 o'clock. Go to bed.
-[Oliver] Oh, my God. -[rattles door]
[Sarah] Dude, go to bed.
♪♪♪
[in French] Do you really have to leave for two days?
[in French] Yes, I have to.
There's the radio thing tomorrow and a photo op this afternoon.
Don't forget to disinfect your hands and the belt buckle in the plane.
Also, avoid touching your face. That's super important.
Don't you think you're being overdramatic?
Not at all. I heard there are a lot of cases in San Francisco.
I talked to a very high-level expert.
-A very high-level expert? -Yes. It's only the beginning.
[in English] Mommy, look!
Oh, look at that giant crow.
[in French] That's not a crow. That's an eagle.
[in French] Of course not, Martin. It's all black. It's a crow.
No, that's an eagle. Not a crow.
[in English] I mean, it's really hard to tell because of the light.
[in French] Is it? I was sure it was a crow.
Not at all! Are you blind or something? That thing's obviously an eagle.
-Yeah, maybe. You're right. -Yes, obviously.
It must be an eagle, then.
[man, in English] Did you guys see that giant crow?
-It's amazing. -[crow squawks]
[car horn honks]
[in French] Ah, here comes the car!
-I'm leaving. -Bye.
-I love you, Mum. -I love you!
-Don't forget to wash your hands! -Yes.
[crow squawking]
I love you, Mum.
-Bye. -Goodbye.
♪♪♪
All this bullshit. The whole time
he just wanted me to spy on my husband?
My God, I thought I was part of this grand espionage for carpets
and I find out I'm in The Americans, but with less fucking.
Yasmin, you know the landscape right now.
We're all walking on eggshells.
We have to comply with everything.
This is a dangerous time for us.
[scoffs] I'm an American citizen, Darian.
I gave three years of my life protecting this country.
William, he has no political consciousness at all.
I mean, that's…I don't know. He's a liberal. He recycles.
He would compost if he could find the right bin.
That's about it. I mean, that's the whole reason I married him
is that, you know, he's exactly who he says he is.
There's no twists and turns with him.
-[sighs] -Then clear him. You'll be done.
That's what you say now. I mean, you're never done.
They always find a way to suck you back in.
It's like a damn cult.
-[in Farsi] Don't think so. -Don't touch me.
Why not?
[in English] I'm not in a cuddly mood, okay?
I wasn't that night either.
I was drunk.
My girlfriend had just broken up with me and we cuddled.
"Cuddled."
You had a hard-on. I had never felt that before.
You're my cousin.
Yas, I was asleep. My penis got hard.
Can we not?
I was 16 years old. That's all I'm saying.
And I was 17, Yasmin. You forgot?
Don't act innocent, okay? You always betray me.
How so?
♪♪♪
I can't imagine a more blissful Saturday at home
then with that scrumptious 8-hour pot au feu
simmering on the stove.
You don't have to stay home because actually I leave it so low
that there's no danger.
You know, you can go about your day and then come back
seven hours later and put in the vegetables.
[chuckles] I love everything about this.
Your prose recipes, your tongue-in-cheek tone.
I will have an order in by tonight.
Oh, great. Margaret, right?
Yeah. That's right.
-Nice to meet you. -You too.
Bye.
That was Margaret Von Arcs from Williams-Sonoma.
Congrats. That's like 230 stores right there.
Oh, my God.
Thanks. Yeah, that's great.
[sighs]
[man] Hola.
-Hola. -Mm-hmm.
[inhales]
[Hmm. [clicks tongue]
Yeah. I prefer the real thing.
You mean me compared to the photo?
-Well, thanks. -[laughs]
I mean, they make you look like a starving model.
Don't get me wrong. You look absolutely stunning,
but a starving chef?
I mean, what's the point? That's not very good publicity, no?
-[chuckles] -Well, I'm definitely not a starving chef,
but they, you know, they kept on Photoshopping everything.
I told them not to.
Well, I'm Francisco Ortega. My stand is over there.
If you like Argentinian cooking, I can give you my book.
Yeah. I would love--
-Great. -I love Argentinian cooking.
I'm Justine Loiselle. French--mostly French cooking.
-Little Corsican. -Oh.
I can see it, Justine Loiselle.
People like us, we take care of the people we love with our cooking.
The Americans think it's about fancy pans and recipes.
No, no, no. Cooking is love.
Love. [sighs]
My mother.
She died with a smile on her face after eating my grilled squid.
There she was, just eating my love for her.
And then she was gone… [chuckles]
with a smile I will always remember.
Wow. This is so sad…
and beautiful in some ways.
Do you wanna--
Do you wanna try the soup dumplings of a lifetime?
I know the place in Chinatown. Mmm.
But we've got to leave soon because after 4:00,
it gets kind of crazy.
Come on, Justine.
Little light, fluffy balls of deliciousness
that melt in your mouth like tiny little clouds.
-Poof. -Poof.
[both laugh]
Well, how can I resist?
20 minutes.
Bye.
-Sophie? -Hmm?
Can I--can I go in about 20 minutes?
-Mm-hmm. No worries. -It's all…yeah.
We're all good now.
-Thanks. -Mm-hmm.
♪♪♪
My parents keep bugging me about those pictures
-from Orion's school play. -What are you doing?
You changed the code.
Of course I change it. You should be changing yours, too.
He's at that age. They get on YouTube and…
something innocent like a centipede
turns into something not so innocent.
I can hear you and we can just put up a firewall
and I'm done with my homework. Can I do a little iPad?
-Yes, you can. [chuckles] -Yeah.
You're too smart for me, honey.
Speaking of YouTube, I watched Ell's thing.
It's actually pretty funny.
It is funny.
I'm just--I'm surprised. That doesn't seem like you.
-Why? She sent it to us. -I don't know. Yeah.
You know what? You never told me
how it went up in Palo Alto that time.
Pr--fine.
-Yeah? -Yeah. I saw a lot of old friends.
-Mm-hmm. -Bunch of people
I haven't seen in years.
-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
Yeah. Orion, didn't you…
You mentioned something about a tiger, right?
It was so cool. This kid was 10
and he had a tiger sleeping in his room.
-My God. -Yeah, some Saudi kid.
-Mm-hmm. -[quietly] He was an asshole.
He kept bragging about his pet tiger.
Calling it his big cat.
He had, like, a live cam in the tiger cage.
It's like, we get it. You have a tiger.
-Good for you. -Okay.
Yeah. I mean, you know, Saudis.
-They can buy anything they want. -Yeah.
-And anyone they want. -Yeah. [scoffs] I know.
Everything's for sale when you're that fucking rich, right?
Mm-hmm.
[scoffs] What's going on with your eyes?
Oh, nothing. They're just little dry.
Oh.
I'll go get you some drops.
Sure.
-[Justine] Ooh, la la. -[Francisco] Whoo-ho-ho.
Soup in a dumpling, I agree, it defies logic,
but like everything that defies logic, it is magical.
And you know it's good when they get a C rating
because you need a really dirty kitchen for this kind of food.
-[laughs] -Really? [laughs]
Yeah. This kind of taste. Okay.
Oh, no, no, wait! Don't let it get out. You've got to drink it.
-You've got to drink it like this. -How? What?
-Look. You puncture. [slurps] -Oh. Okay, okay.
[slurps] Wait. [slurps]
Wait, don't drink it all.
Wait. Wait. You leave a little bit inside
and then you eat the whole thing.
Okay.
Mmm!
[mouth full] I can't get it.
[muffled speech]
Mmm!
[full-mouth laughs and speech]
[laughing]
It's so embarrassing!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-It's disgusting. -Oh, no!
No, I'm kidding.
It's so embarrassing.
-No, no. -[both] Mm!
[both moaning]
-That was amazing. -Ah.
Oh!
I told you.
-One more? -Yes.
-One more. -One more. Ready?
-Okay. Set. -Set.
-[laughs] -Oh my God. Oh my God.
-And go. -[both slurping]
Thank you for taking me here. I would have never known.
It was an amazing dinner.
Hmm. No, this wasn't dinner. This was…
[in French] an appetizer.
[in English] I'm planning to cook for you later.
-Really? -A light dinner.
-A light dinner? -Yes. If you let me, of course.
-Yeah. Why not? -[chuckles]
What does it say?
Let's see yours.
No, it's a--it's a-- it's a really silly one.
Come on.
"You may have just met your true love."
[chuckles] Uh, what about yours?
Well, "Have a beautiful night."
That's it?
Yeah. And it's fantastic, right?
Yes.
-Look at him. Hello. -Hello.
-[English accent] Hello. -[English accent] Hello. Hello, darling.
-Hello. They're British. -[laughs] They're British?
-British dragons. -British dragons.
-My son's going to love this. -Yeah?
-It's so cute. -How old is your son?
-Eleven. -Oh.
-He'll be 12 soon. -That's really cute. [chuckles]
[Adam] "I woke up April 11th, 2015
"and knew exactly what I needed to do.
"I was quickly joined by other like-minded humans
"who realized that they too had become prisoners
"of a society that advocates freedom,
"yet prevents one from living it at any cost.
"There hasn't been a single day that I haven't celebrated
"my decision to walk away, to live a life of less noise
and to try and see our world more clearly."
[applause]
Read this when you're alone, okay?
-Mm-hmm. -Promise?
-Mm-hmm. -[chuckles] Stop.
[chuckles]
Um…
I'm going to be gone a few weeks, but when I'm back,
uh, you know, I'd love to reach out
go hang out at the beach again.
-I'd like that. -Yeah?
-Mm-hmm. -Okay, good.
-Bye. -Bye.
[chuckles]
I can't do hotels.
I've got to cook my own breakfast.
-You ready? -That's for me?
-Mm-hmm. -Yum.
-Mmm! -Mmm.
Oh, that's delicious. Full of flavors.
Oh, my God, it reminds me of that stew.
I had this stew when I was like, uh, 15 years old.
-Uh-huh. -I went to--in the South of France,
we went, like, a school trip, bunch of kids and--
and this guy, this guy from this village,
a weird guy had prepared this amazing stew, okay?
He had cooked it for three days,
a wild boar stew that he had probably,
-I don't know, murdered, you know. -[laughs]
-Somewhere, hunt.--hunted somewhere. -Mm-hmm.
And we were all at the table laughing and screaming and suddenly,
we tried the stew and everyone went quiet.
It was so amazing that we--
we all started crying, all together. It was incredible.
And that's why I decided…
I mean, that's what made me decide to be a chef, basically.
That's amazing.
Wow. You know what we should do?
We should go to the fish market tomorrow morning.
-It's so beautiful. -[inhales deeply]
I can't. I know, I hear it's amazing,
but I have, uh, this radio interview
and then I have to fly home.
When are you going back to Buenos Aires?
I have an interview tomorrow evening in Los Angeles
and then I fly the next morning.
What interview do you have in LA?
I have an offer to take over The Great Depot.
Oh, my God. It's an amazing restaurant.
How did you get the visa? I mean, sorry, just to work.
-You know, the papers? -No, they took care of everything.
-You're lucky. -Yeah, I know.
I'm just--Justine, I'm…[sighs]
I'm just not sure if I could live here.
You must miss France.
No, I do. I do. And--and, you know, I go back in the summer,
but the truth is before I moved here, when I was in France,
people would tell me I couldn't be a chef.
Like almost every day.
[in French] "You can't do that!"
-[in English] The French. -The French. [laughs]
It was horrible. Anyway. [gasps]
Oh, my God. That's a very big scar.
Yeah. That is the price we pay for being chefs.
Oh, oh, no. Wait, wait.
-Locro. -Locro. The soup.
-Mm-hmm. -Argentinian soup.
Yeah. It's so good.
-Hmm, this is like a souffle. -Hmm.
Soufflé au fromage de chèvre. Goat cheese souffle.
Your skin is like goat milk.
-Baa. -[snorts]
[laughs] Justine.
So when are you going to move to LA with your family?
Well, my son studied in Madrid,
so he's there right now
and my wife, let's just say…
we have a lot of fun playing Scrabble, but…
there's no more magic on either side.
What about you?
Oh, I have a son, Albert. He's 11
and he's playing the piano all day long.
And then his dad, Martin is an amazing dad
and he's very supportive and he's great.
A--a brilliant architect and he's really been great
because he moved to LA because of me,
and then he's a brilliant architect
and he's very supportive and he's--he's great. I mean…
What about the magic?
Well, there's still magic.
-[chewing] -Aah!
[door slams]
-A little, just a little bit. Yeah. -That's lucky.
That's lucky.
It must be awesome to still have magic after all that time.
Mm-hmm.
I--
I cannot live without magic.
[sighs]
Well, actually, I can't live without magic either.
[chuckles softly]
Hmm.
♪♪♪
Mmm.
♪♪♪
-Mm-hmm? -It's delicious.
Wait. [chuckles]
-[giggles] -[growls] Mmm!
♪♪♪
He's finally asleep.
[sighs heavily]
I, uh…
I know what's going on, Yasmin.
The whispering in the closet.
Disappearing in the middle of the day…
and coming back like you just ran a marathon.
Do you think I wouldn't notice?
You can't hide the truth from me, Yasmin.
[sighs]
I shouldn't have ignored what was going on for so long.
What was going on?
Exactly.
Exactly!
We're going to find out.
Find out what, honey?
We're going to-- we're going to find you again.
And you're going to be strong again
and you're going to get better.
For me and Orion.
And for you.
Yeah. Right. Okay. Of course.
I--I will.
I'm sorry. I've just been so anxious and I know I…
It's okay.
I got you.
Oh, my God. We're already at 15K likes
and we've only been live for two weeks.
Okay.
Uh, we're getting a lot of thumbs down, though.
Who cares? As long as they are watching.
But they're writing in all the way from China, so that's good.
Yeah, they love to hate Americans.
Okay. Play the video.
Um…
Dude, just because you're squatting on the balcony
doesn't give you the right to give my kid a timeout.
You're not his dad, okay?
Look at Jason.
Your kid peed on my tent.
How do you know? It was probably the stupid dog.
You're telling me I don't know the difference between a dog and a kid?
-Yes. -I looked through my tent
and saw the silhouette of your child
with his ding-a-ling out.
[Sarah] [laughs] He's pretty funny!
No wonder they're liking it.
[indistinct fighting on computer]
[crickets chirping]
♪♪♪
[country music on car stereo]
[sighs]
[phone chimes]
BABY, GREAT NEWS! I GOT THE JOB FOR THE CAR MUSEUM!
THAT'S GREAT!
[crying]
Excuse me, hi. Sorry to bother.
I have a bunch of coupons for the tilapia and I was wondering,
can I combine them and get the salmon instead?
I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't do that.
Oh, really? Because my little kid, he's got an allergy to tilapia.
Hey, cute bear.
Just wish he had a butthole so he could take shits.
Okay. [chuckles] Sorry.
What's that?
-Oh. -Oh, what fish is that?
That's trout. Very bony fish.
If he's a fish, why is he not swimming?
[chuckles] Kai, he's not swimming because a fisherman
fished him from the sea and then brought him to the store
and now someone's going to buy him and cook him.
So, when I eat fish, I'm eating dead fish?
Yeah, everybody eats dead fish.
Liar! The fish I eat does not like him, okay?
-Okay. Put that down. -It's a different kind of fish.
It's crunchy fish with no eyeballs, okay?
-Okay, Kai. -Not a disgusting dead fish!
-[shrieks] Kai! -Are you okay?
You hurt Mommy.
-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
I just-- Just give me a second.
-Listen. -Yeah.
We have a farm-raised salmon.
I think I can make an exception.
Really? That's--thank you.
Kai, you cannot do that. It's not funny.
I don't want you to laugh right now.
You guys have a YouTube channel, right?
-We do. -Yes, we do!
-Hi. -You're the kid with the crazy dog.
-[chuckles] -Where's Puddles, man?
At home doing his thang!
Wait till I tell my roommate you guys came in here.
Want to take some pictures to show him?
Yeah. Wait, Mom, is that all right?
Yeah, sure. Quick, okay?
Yeah. We have a strict rule about not bothering celebs.
Ninja style.
Hey, Mom, do you mind looking a little bit happier?
Like you do on the show?
Okay. No problem.
[camera shutter clicks twice]
-You got it? -All good.
Guys, thank you so much for everything
and I'm so sorry about the fish.
Oh, don't forget your tilapia.
Oh.
And you don't forget to like us and subscribe.
Yup. Bye-bye. Thank you.
-Mom, we're so famous, right? -Yes,
but Mommy is not happy with you at all, Kai.
[knock on door]
Jesus. I didn't expect you today.
I'm here to give my notice, Miss Anne.
What?
You text me the happy heart eyes emoji and…
it means nothing.
When I send you back a heart emoji, you don't answer.
Oh, Jesus. Jesus…
Hmm.
I sent that to you to thank you for the vines.
Ugh, I am so sorry if I confused you.
You have a stranger sleep at your house.
You've been watching me?
No.
You don't deserve me, Miss Anne.
You play games with men because you can afford to.
But um, I'm not a toy.
Wait, Jesus. I'm so sorry that I…
[stammers]…that I confused you with those texts.
[sighs]
Oh, my God.
[car engine starts]
[glass shatters]
Sorry, Mom.