1 00:00:06,584 --> 00:00:08,876 ‎NETFLIX 原創影集 2 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,043 ‎對,我收到了 3 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:11,876 ‎不用擔心 4 00:01:12,501 --> 00:01:13,959 ‎我會藏在安全的地方 5 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,376 ‎第七集,人類的處境 6 00:02:11,293 --> 00:02:13,043 ‎我兩個寶貝回來了 7 00:02:13,126 --> 00:02:14,209 ‎媽咪 8 00:02:14,293 --> 00:02:18,376 ‎嗨,我好想你們,我超想你的 9 00:02:18,459 --> 00:02:21,043 ‎-對,玩得開心嗎? ‎-結果怎麼樣? 10 00:02:21,126 --> 00:02:23,876 ‎我後來寫了三個章節,威爾 11 00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:26,293 ‎感謝你強迫我 ‎讓你們父子倆一起出遠門 12 00:02:26,376 --> 00:02:27,293 ‎對 13 00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:30,584 ‎你們很噁心耶 14 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:32,751 ‎脫鞋 15 00:02:33,626 --> 00:02:35,834 ‎至少玩得很開心吧?你們做了什麼? 16 00:02:36,709 --> 00:02:39,126 ‎我們遇到一個孩子,他養老虎當寵物 17 00:02:39,209 --> 00:02:40,293 ‎還是個王子 18 00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:42,418 ‎等等,什麼?他是王子? 19 00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:44,001 ‎對,他玩得很愉快 20 00:02:45,126 --> 00:02:49,209 ‎我猜是吧,雖然機率很微小 21 00:02:51,876 --> 00:02:52,751 ‎歐萊恩? 22 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,959 ‎我很高興你和爸爸有機會相處這麼久 23 00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:58,751 ‎你玩得很開心吧? 24 00:02:58,834 --> 00:02:59,668 ‎是啊 25 00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:01,834 ‎好 26 00:03:06,043 --> 00:03:07,334 ‎我也愛你,親愛的 27 00:03:08,293 --> 00:03:10,459 ‎既然你都長大了 28 00:03:10,543 --> 00:03:13,376 ‎我想你不需要我陪你入睡了 29 00:03:14,584 --> 00:03:15,709 ‎妳好像不太一樣 30 00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:18,501 ‎真的嗎?什麼意思? 31 00:03:19,418 --> 00:03:20,376 ‎不曉得耶 32 00:03:20,876 --> 00:03:22,126 ‎好像很快樂 33 00:03:23,918 --> 00:03:25,751 ‎我只是很高興見到你,親愛的 34 00:03:27,293 --> 00:03:28,126 ‎好 35 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:31,751 ‎睡得安穩 36 00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:45,918 ‎我是說旅程本身沒問題 ‎但遇到老虎可能就不太好了 37 00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:47,334 ‎-太危險了 ‎-那是重頭戲 38 00:03:47,418 --> 00:03:50,584 ‎不曉得耶,親愛的 ‎好,祝你今天愉快 39 00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:52,334 ‎-你好 ‎-走吧 40 00:03:52,793 --> 00:03:56,376 ‎-玩得開心,妳好嗎? ‎-親愛的,我很好 41 00:03:56,459 --> 00:03:58,876 ‎-他們旅途愉快嗎? ‎-他們玩得很開心 42 00:03:58,959 --> 00:04:00,418 ‎-我好高興 ‎-好極了 43 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,376 ‎天啊 44 00:04:01,459 --> 00:04:03,418 ‎-什麼? ‎-是足球場那個爸爸 45 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:05,168 ‎-什麼? ‎-他是個混蛋,天啊 46 00:04:05,251 --> 00:04:07,668 ‎安妮說得對,他的小孩也唸這裡 47 00:04:07,751 --> 00:04:09,418 ‎-好,但妳… ‎-天啊,等等 48 00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,709 ‎把我遮住,一下子就好 49 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:12,668 ‎對,我不… 50 00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:15,459 ‎待在這裡,別動,天啊,他來了 51 00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:17,293 ‎-好 ‎-好,我好了 52 00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:24,209 ‎那不會是被球打傷的吧? 53 00:04:24,293 --> 00:04:25,126 ‎是啊 54 00:04:25,209 --> 00:04:28,209 ‎我應該坐遠一點,但我… 55 00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:33,251 ‎很抱歉,我不知道這一球打得這麼重 56 00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:35,543 ‎是我的問題,我的皮膚很敏感 57 00:04:35,626 --> 00:04:36,834 ‎-沒錯 ‎-對 58 00:04:37,418 --> 00:04:39,209 ‎我可以彌補嗎? 59 00:04:39,293 --> 00:04:40,959 ‎不用,我去過急診室了 60 00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:43,584 ‎他們說只要冰敷幾週就好 61 00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:48,168 ‎他們覺得不會變成嚴重水腫 62 00:04:48,251 --> 00:04:49,459 ‎聽起來很嚴重 63 00:04:49,543 --> 00:04:53,043 ‎我一定會要求安迪下次更小心 64 00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:56,626 ‎-我要再次致歉 ‎-不用,沒關係 65 00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:59,751 ‎其實呢,我從來不對孩子大吼 66 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,251 ‎當時真的很… 67 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:04,959 ‎但我當時… ‎實在太痛了,而且措手不及 68 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,626 ‎我也不常對媽媽們大吼 69 00:05:08,251 --> 00:05:09,959 ‎-好吧 ‎-尤其是一位淑女 70 00:05:10,459 --> 00:05:12,418 ‎-謝謝 ‎-好 71 00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:13,834 ‎好,對 72 00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:14,876 ‎-再見 ‎-再見 73 00:05:15,418 --> 00:05:16,626 ‎-天啊 ‎-我好討厭他 74 00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:19,751 ‎妳的演技真高明,太逼真了 75 00:05:19,834 --> 00:05:21,084 ‎妳得告訴我更多細節 76 00:05:21,168 --> 00:05:22,459 ‎-但我得先走了 ‎-好 77 00:05:22,543 --> 00:05:24,918 ‎-我不想害妳眼睛痛 ‎-對喔 78 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,709 ‎好痛,是哪隻眼睛?天啊,我想我… 79 00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:30,626 ‎賈絲汀?好久不見,妳好嗎? 80 00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:32,126 ‎賈姬,妳好嗎? 81 00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:34,584 ‎天啊,妳的眼睛怎麼了? 82 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,751 ‎只是被足球打中,一點也不痛 83 00:05:38,834 --> 00:05:39,793 ‎很好 84 00:05:39,876 --> 00:05:41,834 ‎馬丁人真好 85 00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:44,168 ‎還為接下來的地球日表演布景畫草圖 86 00:05:45,209 --> 00:05:47,376 ‎對,沒錯 87 00:05:47,459 --> 00:05:50,001 ‎我只是…他是很棒的爸爸 88 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,584 ‎沒錯,我們愛死他了 89 00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:55,459 ‎妳應該來學生中心參加家長咖啡時光 90 00:05:55,543 --> 00:05:57,251 ‎那當然,什麼時候? 91 00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:58,459 ‎週五 92 00:05:58,543 --> 00:06:01,793 ‎就像過去五年的每個週五 93 00:06:03,668 --> 00:06:04,668 ‎是的 94 00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:09,168 ‎孩子們喜歡看到父母參與學校事務 95 00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:11,043 ‎這會讓他們有安全感 96 00:06:11,668 --> 00:06:14,293 ‎我只是都忙著打理餐廳的事 97 00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:18,251 ‎-工時很長,我就… ‎-也要呈現出真實的自我 98 00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:21,168 ‎我完全能理解 99 00:06:21,251 --> 00:06:23,126 ‎我也肩負工作跟母職 100 00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:27,043 ‎事實上大橡樹 ‎大多數學生母親都有工作 101 00:06:29,043 --> 00:06:31,626 ‎-對 ‎-我得先離開了 102 00:06:32,251 --> 00:06:34,168 ‎-要開晨會 ‎-那當然了 103 00:06:34,251 --> 00:06:35,584 ‎還有最後一件事 104 00:06:35,668 --> 00:06:38,251 ‎妳收到春季捐獻的電郵了嗎? 105 00:06:39,251 --> 00:06:41,834 ‎收到了,很抱歉,我今晚會處理 106 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:43,751 ‎-我保證 ‎-太好了 107 00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:48,043 ‎-謝謝,保重,再見 ‎-對,保重 108 00:06:48,126 --> 00:06:49,418 ‎祝妳有美好的一天 109 00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:50,543 ‎對,妳也是 110 00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:51,668 ‎對,再見 111 00:07:01,459 --> 00:07:02,459 ‎服務生 112 00:07:03,751 --> 00:07:07,168 ‎媽,他在忙,他等一下就過來了 113 00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:14,126 ‎兩位好,很抱歉讓妳們久等了 114 00:07:14,209 --> 00:07:17,043 ‎我要血腥瑪麗 ‎不要太辣,用坎特一號 115 00:07:18,376 --> 00:07:21,293 ‎很抱歉,但本店只賣葡萄酒跟啤酒 116 00:07:22,793 --> 00:07:25,668 ‎我推薦本店的核果貝里尼 117 00:07:26,459 --> 00:07:29,876 ‎很受歡迎,加了萊姆跟紅椒粉 118 00:07:30,876 --> 00:07:33,001 ‎妳幹嘛挑這裡? 119 00:07:33,084 --> 00:07:35,001 ‎真的很抱歉,媽,我事先不知道 120 00:07:35,084 --> 00:07:41,334 ‎好,給我一杯氣泡水,加點萊姆 121 00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:45,126 ‎你們總有賣水了吧? 122 00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:48,959 ‎請給我一杯檸檬水,謝謝 123 00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:51,918 ‎-加萊姆的氣泡水跟檸檬水 ‎-謝謝 124 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:57,334 ‎強納森說 ‎妳覺得妳的公司很有發展潛力 125 00:07:57,918 --> 00:08:02,709 ‎沒錯,我覺得現在 ‎是擴展公司的好時機 126 00:08:03,209 --> 00:08:05,334 ‎我們的進展令人振奮,媽 127 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,293 ‎現在可以討論 ‎在馬尼拉設廠的事了嗎? 128 00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:13,168 ‎那仍然違反在地生產的倫理問題 129 00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:14,376 ‎我可能就不會考慮了 130 00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:17,376 ‎要符合倫理,又要在地生產 ‎我女兒好重視社會正義 131 00:08:17,459 --> 00:08:21,793 ‎如果要我用廉價的工資 ‎請工人製造我的衣服 132 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,043 ‎我會良心不安 133 00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:25,876 ‎他們就愛收花生之類的東西當薪水 134 00:08:25,959 --> 00:08:27,793 ‎他們只吃這種東西 135 00:08:30,168 --> 00:08:31,459 ‎不好笑 136 00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:33,875 ‎安妮,妳的幽默感到哪去了? 137 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:38,625 ‎妳喜歡家裡的新泳池嗎? 138 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:43,250 ‎是妳提議要設置泳池的吧? 139 00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:44,709 ‎我根本不想要泳池 140 00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:47,293 ‎妳這是什麼口氣? 141 00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:49,334 ‎聽起來像被寵壞的孩子 142 00:08:49,876 --> 00:08:53,168 ‎“我又不想要游泳池 ‎是妳逼我安裝泳池的” 143 00:08:53,251 --> 00:08:55,043 ‎如果妳真的這麼在意泳池 144 00:08:55,126 --> 00:08:58,501 ‎幹嘛不拿去堆肥種菜 145 00:08:58,584 --> 00:09:02,126 ‎讓妳老公 ‎拿去在地的農夫市集賺點錢? 146 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,959 ‎媽,事實上我現在沒有老公了 147 00:09:06,709 --> 00:09:09,251 ‎真不知道我幹嘛胡說,他會回來的 148 00:09:09,959 --> 00:09:11,959 ‎是真的,他只是想要… 149 00:09:12,668 --> 00:09:16,376 ‎自己住一段時間,這只是暫時的 150 00:09:17,126 --> 00:09:18,168 ‎那個討人厭的傢伙 151 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:22,043 ‎我一毛錢也不給他,安妮 152 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,918 ‎-聽到了嗎? ‎-媽,他不是要跟我離婚 153 00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:27,376 ‎他不要妳的錢 154 00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:30,459 ‎振作一點 ‎這可不是在演妳看的肥皂劇 155 00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,793 ‎他以為來這招就會讓我們措手不及? 156 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,834 ‎那個王八蛋也不看看他的對手是誰 157 00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:39,459 ‎請轉接強納森梅瑟 158 00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:43,543 ‎妳什麼都不用擔心 159 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,668 ‎我們母女是同一隊的 160 00:09:56,209 --> 00:10:00,043 ‎我先生剛傳簡訊給我,他沒辦法過來 161 00:10:00,918 --> 00:10:02,084 ‎他記錯日期了 162 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,709 ‎有時候很難記得住 163 00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:08,168 ‎少了妳先生 ‎要做夫妻心理評估可能會很難 164 00:10:08,251 --> 00:10:11,376 ‎那就改期吧,今天不收費 165 00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:13,584 ‎妳真好 166 00:10:13,668 --> 00:10:16,543 ‎但我想就算我先生不在,也可以進行 167 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,209 ‎真不知道我幹嘛來這裡 168 00:10:23,293 --> 00:10:25,626 ‎那是賈絲汀自己的問題 169 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,793 ‎我跟賈絲汀之間沒有問題 170 00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:31,501 ‎你常說我是個糟糕的媽媽 171 00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:35,751 ‎我花太多時間工作 ‎常不在家,這會毀了艾伯特的人生 172 00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:37,001 ‎我們的兒子 173 00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:39,418 ‎我沒說過妳是個糟糕的媽媽 174 00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,834 ‎我是說妳不喜歡當媽媽 175 00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:44,918 ‎妳不要混為一談 176 00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:46,584 ‎並不是這樣,你很清楚 177 00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:50,501 ‎除此之外,你常批評我胖又缺乏魅力 178 00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:52,918 ‎還說我注定會跟父母一樣肥 179 00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:56,918 ‎他甚至問我不列塔尼有沒有瘦子 180 00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:58,001 ‎那是我的家鄉 181 00:10:58,084 --> 00:10:59,584 ‎我又沒說妳胖 182 00:10:59,668 --> 00:11:03,501 ‎我說妳不瘦,那完全不一樣喔 183 00:11:04,668 --> 00:11:06,084 ‎你把我比喻成鯨魚 184 00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:07,376 ‎鯨魚很胖 185 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,959 ‎日本人就是為了鯨脂才屠殺牠們 186 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,376 ‎那句話應該坐過來這裡再說 187 00:11:12,459 --> 00:11:15,001 ‎賈絲汀,可以不要一直換位置嗎? 188 00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:18,793 ‎我懂妳想表達的感受 ‎但這不是我這裡諮商的做法 189 00:11:20,668 --> 00:11:21,793 ‎好吧 190 00:11:21,876 --> 00:11:24,376 ‎我只跟夫妻晤談 191 00:11:24,876 --> 00:11:27,543 ‎但我有位同事是很優秀的治療師 192 00:11:27,626 --> 00:11:29,626 ‎妳會考慮這種療程嗎? 193 00:11:30,209 --> 00:11:31,418 ‎我單獨接受諮商? 194 00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:35,584 ‎可是我完全沒事 195 00:11:39,793 --> 00:11:42,168 ‎抱歉讓妳們久等了 196 00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:44,584 ‎-妳好 ‎-妳好,這幾件真好看 197 00:11:44,668 --> 00:11:49,001 ‎“不是每個人都有幸成為孤兒” ‎說這句話的是奧斯卡王爾德嗎? 198 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,293 ‎不管那是什麼意思 199 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,084 ‎-拐嬰女又回來了 ‎-誰? 200 00:11:54,168 --> 00:11:55,584 ‎-她媽媽 ‎-拐嬰女? 201 00:11:55,668 --> 00:11:57,876 ‎可以告訴她這個外號的來由嗎? 202 00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:59,501 ‎好,說來好笑 203 00:11:59,584 --> 00:12:01,418 ‎總之,喬治沒割包皮 204 00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,084 ‎所以小賽出生時 ‎他們決定不幫他割包皮 205 00:12:04,168 --> 00:12:05,584 ‎但當小賽一週大時 206 00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:07,251 ‎珊卓拉把他從嬰兒床一把抱起來 207 00:12:07,334 --> 00:12:09,543 ‎叫車帶他去紀念醫院動了刀 208 00:12:09,626 --> 00:12:11,126 ‎他一定氣死了,暴怒 209 00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:12,209 ‎-喬治? ‎-對 210 00:12:12,293 --> 00:12:13,543 ‎天啊,那真的很讓人難過 211 00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:16,751 ‎頭一年,他每次看小賽的老二都會哭 212 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:17,793 ‎天啊 213 00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:21,668 ‎她一定是心想:“老娘出錢 ‎幫你們生小孩,我可以為所欲為” 214 00:12:21,751 --> 00:12:23,751 ‎妳為了懷小賽,做了幾次試管嬰兒? 215 00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:24,876 ‎六次 216 00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:26,376 ‎都可以拿來買一間房子了 217 00:12:26,459 --> 00:12:27,793 ‎-對 ‎-好,夠了 218 00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:30,376 ‎-好,妳要找什麼樣的衣服? ‎-好 219 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,376 ‎金恩喜歡閃亮的東西 220 00:12:33,459 --> 00:12:34,626 ‎-閃亮的東西 ‎-亮晶晶的… 221 00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:37,418 ‎我沒有閃亮的服裝 ‎但有妳穿起來很好看的款式 222 00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:38,376 ‎不過是樣衣 223 00:12:38,459 --> 00:12:41,293 ‎如果要開始激情了,就先脫掉洋裝… 224 00:12:41,376 --> 00:12:42,793 ‎小心地脫掉,對,我知道了 225 00:12:42,876 --> 00:12:45,293 ‎艾蜜莉,拿人字斜紋布那件,在後面 226 00:12:45,376 --> 00:12:46,293 ‎人字斜紋布? 227 00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:47,751 ‎我覺得很漂亮 228 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,793 ‎如果妳剛好看到你們不要的衣服… 229 00:12:50,876 --> 00:12:52,876 ‎-我剛給了妳很多東西 ‎-天啊 230 00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:55,959 ‎-我知道,可以試穿這件嗎? ‎-好,當然可以 231 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,418 ‎-我很想知道 ‎-妳看過其他洋裝了嗎? 232 00:12:58,501 --> 00:12:59,834 ‎都很好看 233 00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:02,001 ‎但更重要的是,快說吧 234 00:13:02,084 --> 00:13:03,876 ‎妳有交往的對象嗎?怎麼回事? 235 00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:06,959 ‎我不是真的單身,是試行分居 236 00:13:07,043 --> 00:13:08,043 ‎試行分居 237 00:13:08,126 --> 00:13:11,626 ‎喬治就待在市區的公寓裡 ‎看著網飛的片爽得很 238 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,293 ‎妳是說他並沒有真的在看網飛 239 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,876 ‎我單身很久,我得告訴妳們 240 00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:18,876 ‎外頭真的很瘋狂 241 00:13:18,959 --> 00:13:20,709 ‎到處都有人出軌 242 00:13:20,793 --> 00:13:24,043 ‎所以至少喬治還懂情理,要求分居 243 00:13:24,126 --> 00:13:26,834 ‎怎麼?意思是我出錢 ‎幫他租了偷情小公寓? 244 00:13:27,543 --> 00:13:29,626 ‎妳何不拓展交友圈?來上應用程式吧 245 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,668 ‎-手機給我 ‎-我才不要 246 00:13:31,751 --> 00:13:33,084 ‎真的只要一下子就好了 247 00:13:33,168 --> 00:13:35,418 ‎妳可以刪…快解鎖 ‎要的話妳之後再刪 248 00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:37,084 ‎五秒 249 00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:39,376 ‎好,等等 250 00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,334 ‎好,這個程式超棒,這最有用 251 00:13:43,418 --> 00:13:45,334 ‎我告訴妳,上面的男人超性感 252 00:13:45,418 --> 00:13:47,459 ‎好,等等,很好,完成 253 00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:49,001 ‎-妳拍了我的照片? ‎-別擔心 254 00:13:49,084 --> 00:13:50,584 ‎-我根本不知道 ‎-拍得很好看 255 00:13:50,668 --> 00:13:53,001 ‎妳晚點再調整,看起來不錯 256 00:13:53,084 --> 00:13:54,626 ‎加上可愛的細節就行了 257 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,293 ‎不過妳不要期望過高 258 00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:58,876 ‎妳不會遇到真命天子 ‎雖然我可能已經遇到了 259 00:13:58,959 --> 00:13:59,793 ‎這件呢? 260 00:13:59,876 --> 00:14:02,209 ‎-很適合妳,我喜歡 ‎-是嗎? 261 00:14:02,293 --> 00:14:03,126 ‎-很好看 ‎-天啊 262 00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,501 ‎-是嗎? ‎-是啊 263 00:14:04,584 --> 00:14:06,584 ‎很可愛,不過聽著,這就像是在下注 264 00:14:06,668 --> 00:14:07,834 ‎-對 ‎-多試幾次手氣 265 00:14:07,918 --> 00:14:09,918 ‎妳們記得我第一次 ‎跟金恩約會的時候? 266 00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:12,043 ‎金恩,什麼時候 ‎才要介紹他給我們認識? 267 00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:15,876 ‎我從來沒想過 ‎會跟年長的對象交往,很噁心 268 00:14:16,418 --> 00:14:17,668 ‎不過,真的是這樣 269 00:14:17,751 --> 00:14:20,751 ‎妳們知道我喜歡小鮮肉 ‎但金恩65歲了,看起來卻很年輕 270 00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:22,751 ‎懂我的意思嗎?真的很年輕 271 00:14:25,126 --> 00:14:26,668 ‎人字斜紋布的就是這件? 272 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,668 ‎-我喜歡 ‎-可以試穿看看 273 00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:35,168 ‎牙膏? 274 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,126 ‎好,抱歉 ‎這怎麼會放在這裡,凱?怎樣? 275 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:41,418 ‎-這是樂高的膠水 ‎-樂高不需要膠水 276 00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:43,126 ‎閉嘴,壞媽媽! 277 00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:44,668 ‎不要對媽這麼兇 278 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,168 ‎我不需要你幫我教訓他,夠了 279 00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:50,459 ‎對,你又不是我爸 ‎我爸研發了Instagram 280 00:14:50,543 --> 00:14:54,334 ‎真的嗎?他是這麼跟你說的? ‎你爸研發了類似的應用程式 281 00:14:54,418 --> 00:14:56,209 ‎不過既然Instagram早就存在 282 00:14:56,293 --> 00:14:58,043 ‎根本沒人要用你爸的蠢應用程式 283 00:14:58,126 --> 00:14:59,709 ‎媽,我沒辦法專心做功課 284 00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:01,251 ‎去妳的臥房吧,親愛的 285 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,709 ‎我沒自己的臥房,記得嗎? 286 00:15:02,793 --> 00:15:04,668 ‎他搶走我的遙控器,媽 287 00:15:04,751 --> 00:15:07,668 ‎什麼?夠了,別鬧你哥哥了 288 00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:12,959 ‎-帕朵斯,不行,下去 ‎-天啊,媽,太噁心了 289 00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:15,959 ‎-我不知道該怎麼辦 ‎-牠在跳舞 290 00:15:16,043 --> 00:15:18,126 ‎這太瘋狂了,媽,應該拍起來 291 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,501 ‎帕朵斯,下去 292 00:15:19,584 --> 00:15:21,959 ‎形容動物愛上人類的詞彙是什麼? 293 00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:25,209 ‎Siri,想上人類的動物叫什麼? 294 00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,459 ‎我不懂妳的問題 295 00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:29,959 ‎-他塗了妳的口紅 ‎-這太瘋狂了 296 00:15:30,043 --> 00:15:33,209 ‎媽,如果大家看到這副場景 ‎一定會難以置信 297 00:15:33,293 --> 00:15:35,043 ‎-什麼難以置信,莎拉? ‎-這一切 298 00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:38,001 ‎-他們會難以置信? ‎-對 299 00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:40,668 ‎凱,等等 300 00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:45,126 ‎再跳一次給媽媽看 301 00:15:45,918 --> 00:15:49,876 ‎他塗了妳的口紅 302 00:15:49,959 --> 00:15:53,126 ‎他塗了妳的口紅 303 00:15:53,709 --> 00:15:55,501 ‎門沒關,注意安全一下吧 304 00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:57,376 ‎你跑來做什麼? 305 00:15:57,459 --> 00:16:00,001 ‎照時程來接凱 306 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,084 ‎我們談好了時程? 307 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,668 ‎妳在拍什麼影片嗎? 308 00:16:03,209 --> 00:16:04,293 ‎不是,只是做個紀錄 309 00:16:04,376 --> 00:16:07,584 ‎好,不管要拍什麼 ‎請不要上傳到Instagram 310 00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:10,876 ‎我們之間的競爭越來越激烈了 311 00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,084 ‎-好吧 ‎-準備好了嗎,小子? 312 00:16:13,168 --> 00:16:15,209 ‎我不要找爸爸,我今天要媽媽陪 313 00:16:15,293 --> 00:16:17,959 ‎他不知道,很抱歉,你別無選擇 314 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,168 ‎門沒關 315 00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:21,543 ‎爸 316 00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:22,543 ‎你好,小子 317 00:16:22,626 --> 00:16:24,334 ‎-嘿 ‎-天啊 318 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,668 ‎傑森,可以再進來一次嗎? 319 00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:29,376 ‎奧利佛,同樣衝進他懷裡 320 00:16:29,459 --> 00:16:30,459 ‎妳在錄影? 321 00:16:30,543 --> 00:16:32,376 ‎對,我想記錄一下 322 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,751 ‎拜託,傑森,快點 323 00:16:36,251 --> 00:16:37,209 ‎開拍 324 00:16:38,418 --> 00:16:39,709 ‎門沒關喔 325 00:16:40,251 --> 00:16:41,918 ‎-爸 ‎-你好 326 00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,876 ‎好極了,定格 327 00:16:46,543 --> 00:16:49,834 ‎艾兒,我要接受妳的邀約在這住幾天 328 00:16:49,918 --> 00:16:50,751 ‎如果可以的話 329 00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,418 ‎奧利佛,可以再來一次嗎? 330 00:16:52,501 --> 00:16:54,334 ‎老兄,你好嗎?生意好嗎? 331 00:16:54,918 --> 00:16:56,626 ‎-在這裡? ‎-對,再近一點 332 00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:57,584 ‎競爭… 333 00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,793 ‎競爭越來越激烈了 334 00:17:00,293 --> 00:17:02,459 ‎競爭越來越激烈了,越來越激烈 335 00:17:03,209 --> 00:17:04,168 ‎-好極了 ‎-太棒了 336 00:17:05,543 --> 00:17:08,043 ‎-很好,好極了 ‎-東西要放哪裡? 337 00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:11,418 ‎-後面?好,謝謝 ‎-放那邊吧 338 00:17:40,168 --> 00:17:41,459 ‎搞什麼? 339 00:17:44,751 --> 00:17:46,918 ‎不會吧… 340 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,126 ‎好吧,或許… 341 00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:50,793 ‎等等,什麼? 342 00:17:56,668 --> 00:17:58,209 ‎該死 343 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,668 ‎親愛的 344 00:18:15,168 --> 00:18:19,084 ‎你在做什麼了不起的東西? 345 00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:20,626 ‎太棒了 346 00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:23,084 ‎謝謝,媽,是馬斯克火星太空船 347 00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:26,293 ‎說不定我會是第一個住在火星上的人 348 00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:28,834 ‎天啊,希望不是 349 00:18:29,501 --> 00:18:30,543 ‎為什麼? 350 00:18:30,626 --> 00:18:34,209 ‎這樣你就會離我很遠,對吧? 351 00:18:34,293 --> 00:18:37,001 ‎對,但也許到時候 ‎前往火星的時間會縮短 352 00:18:37,084 --> 00:18:39,751 ‎對,但還是很遠,對吧? 353 00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:43,876 ‎聽著,我本來要幫你 ‎做美味的檸檬果凍吐司 354 00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:45,293 ‎你覺得呢? 355 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:46,209 ‎-好啊 ‎-要吃嗎? 356 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,543 ‎我的… 357 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,543 ‎-怎麼了? ‎-老天啊 358 00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:52,168 ‎我才一下子沒注意他 ‎他就做了一具火箭? 359 00:18:52,251 --> 00:18:54,751 ‎太不可思議了,上面還有燈 360 00:18:55,251 --> 00:18:58,293 ‎是啊,他真的很像你,寶貝 361 00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:00,459 ‎拜託,是像我們兩個吧 362 00:19:01,126 --> 00:19:03,501 ‎我只不是研發愚蠢的軟體 363 00:19:03,584 --> 00:19:04,626 ‎真正有創意的是妳 364 00:19:06,126 --> 00:19:08,126 ‎上面有一支折疊式手機嗎? 365 00:19:08,751 --> 00:19:12,834 ‎真奇妙,看起來很像舊型的手機 366 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,334 ‎歐萊恩,這真的很酷 367 00:19:15,418 --> 00:19:16,376 ‎-謝謝 ‎-做得好 368 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,084 ‎謝謝,這支折疊式手機是在… 369 00:19:18,168 --> 00:19:20,959 ‎我們正要去做檸檬果凍吐司 370 00:19:21,043 --> 00:19:25,334 ‎但小心沒得吃 ‎檸檬果凍貪吃怪會搶先一步喔 371 00:19:25,418 --> 00:19:26,501 ‎檸檬果凍貪吃怪? 372 00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:28,543 ‎對,牠最愛吃這個 373 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:31,043 ‎如果你不來幫忙 ‎牠會全部吃光,走吧 374 00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:32,501 ‎走吧 375 00:19:32,584 --> 00:19:35,043 ‎好,可是我得先去上廁所 376 00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:37,084 ‎-好,快去快回,親愛的 ‎-好 377 00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,043 ‎你在做什麼? 378 00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:40,251 ‎我要拍張照片,設計得真棒 379 00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:43,001 ‎對,可是不能上傳網路 ‎親愛的,你很清楚 380 00:19:43,084 --> 00:19:44,668 ‎對,但我又沒拍到歐萊恩 381 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:49,251 ‎我知道,但仍然會引來 ‎想染指孩子的惡徒 382 00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:54,251 ‎因為他們有些人偏愛很聰明的小男孩 383 00:19:55,209 --> 00:19:56,209 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-對 384 00:19:56,293 --> 00:19:57,668 ‎我又沒拍到歐萊恩 385 00:19:57,751 --> 00:19:59,668 ‎我知道,但還是… 386 00:19:59,751 --> 00:20:04,334 ‎他們看得出來作者是很聰明的男孩 387 00:20:04,418 --> 00:20:06,501 ‎有些人有這種癖好 388 00:20:06,584 --> 00:20:07,626 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-對 389 00:20:07,709 --> 00:20:10,043 ‎我剛看過相關文章,超可怕的 390 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,418 ‎-天啊 ‎-對,就是啊 391 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,918 ‎-這個世界太黑暗了 ‎-你知道我怎麼想的嗎? 392 00:20:14,001 --> 00:20:17,668 ‎我們應該去海灘看夕陽,好嘛 393 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:19,959 ‎我不想去,太冷了吧? 394 00:20:20,043 --> 00:20:23,376 ‎不會,這很棒,有寒意的海灘 ‎宛如身在英國,很好玩的,走吧 395 00:20:23,459 --> 00:20:24,959 ‎-那就去海灘吧 ‎-一定很好玩 396 00:20:25,043 --> 00:20:26,168 ‎-太好了 ‎-好吧 397 00:20:26,251 --> 00:20:28,376 ‎你不知道我喜歡寒冷的天氣嗎? 398 00:20:28,459 --> 00:20:31,168 ‎-我現在知道了 ‎-你怎麼會不知道? 399 00:20:32,959 --> 00:20:34,293 ‎小傻瓜 400 00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,168 ‎我們會玩得很開心的 401 00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:38,793 ‎有時候不一定要陽光普照 402 00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:41,001 ‎我其實已經覺得有點冷了 403 00:20:41,084 --> 00:20:43,293 ‎-我要去拿毛衣 ‎-我去幫妳拿? 404 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,876 ‎不用,我去拿,待會見 405 00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:51,876 ‎你媽好開心 406 00:20:53,501 --> 00:20:56,793 ‎有時她開心完,情緒就會盪到谷底 407 00:20:57,543 --> 00:20:59,459 ‎對,我知道,有時會這樣 408 00:21:00,751 --> 00:21:03,084 ‎很難預料她什麼時候又會不開心 409 00:21:05,334 --> 00:21:06,626 ‎是啊,我知道 410 00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:09,626 ‎-好了,我們走吧 ‎-好 411 00:21:11,084 --> 00:21:13,876 ‎我肯定可以比你們兩個先到海邊 412 00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:25,293 ‎天啊 413 00:21:25,876 --> 00:21:27,293 ‎傑瑞,你看 414 00:21:27,376 --> 00:21:30,543 ‎光是今天 ‎我的臉書就增加了462個粉絲 415 00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:33,209 ‎妳為什麼加入普丁之友這個團體? 416 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,709 ‎-什麼? ‎-是啊 417 00:21:35,334 --> 00:21:37,334 ‎不可能啊,我做了什麼? 418 00:21:37,876 --> 00:21:39,876 ‎妳接受了交友邀請 ‎現在得解除朋友關係 419 00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:42,334 ‎艾文,你看賈絲汀臉書的新朋友 420 00:21:42,418 --> 00:21:43,418 ‎好了 421 00:21:44,001 --> 00:21:46,293 ‎-普丁之友? ‎-夠了,好了 422 00:21:46,376 --> 00:21:47,793 ‎妳的臉書被俄國人駭了 423 00:21:47,876 --> 00:21:51,876 ‎說不定他們是想擾亂威尼斯的餐飲界 424 00:21:52,459 --> 00:21:53,834 ‎你們是在取笑我嗎? 425 00:21:53,918 --> 00:21:56,709 ‎-對,我們在嘲笑妳 ‎-好,真是好極了 426 00:21:56,793 --> 00:21:58,584 ‎(最新消息 ‎艾兒霍洛維茲經紀公司) 427 00:21:58,668 --> 00:22:00,459 ‎(開業兩週就關門大吉) 428 00:22:01,043 --> 00:22:02,168 ‎我們得幫幫艾兒 429 00:22:02,251 --> 00:22:06,043 ‎我真的很擔心 ‎妳知道她哪來的錢付帳單嗎? 430 00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:07,293 ‎不知道 431 00:22:07,376 --> 00:22:09,709 ‎-好,我要走了 ‎-好,我來打給她 432 00:22:09,793 --> 00:22:12,001 ‎-對,請聯絡她 ‎-請再給我一杯 433 00:22:39,001 --> 00:22:40,709 ‎我是喬治,請留言 434 00:22:52,626 --> 00:22:54,251 ‎我是喬治,請留言 435 00:23:09,501 --> 00:23:12,043 ‎-我是喬治,請留言 ‎-該死 436 00:23:26,126 --> 00:23:27,043 ‎怎麼了? 437 00:23:28,459 --> 00:23:30,918 ‎真的假的,喬治?還要問我? 438 00:23:32,668 --> 00:23:34,793 ‎我留了六通留言給你 439 00:23:35,334 --> 00:23:37,334 ‎好,我們一起生了小孩,記得嗎? 440 00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,876 ‎你應該隨時隨地都要接電話 441 00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:44,043 ‎賽巴斯欽沒事吧? 442 00:23:44,126 --> 00:23:45,668 ‎對,一切都很好 443 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:48,626 ‎怎麼了? 444 00:23:49,501 --> 00:23:51,418 ‎沒事,我在睡覺 445 00:23:53,084 --> 00:23:54,251 ‎我很晚才忙完 446 00:23:57,418 --> 00:23:58,918 ‎妳怎麼了? 447 00:24:00,418 --> 00:24:05,959 ‎“試行分居”的意思 ‎是可以跟別人互幹嗎? 448 00:24:06,543 --> 00:24:08,501 ‎別這麼低俗,安妮 449 00:24:27,209 --> 00:24:28,751 ‎(點燃愛苗) 450 00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:31,709 ‎(山姆) 451 00:24:36,376 --> 00:24:37,959 ‎我很受不了番茄 452 00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:41,709 ‎黏黏的,又像凝膠 453 00:24:41,793 --> 00:24:43,043 ‎就像果凍一樣 454 00:24:43,126 --> 00:24:44,709 ‎別提到那個字 455 00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:48,418 ‎Alexa,播柔和的節奏藍調播放清單 456 00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:51,084 ‎等等,也許麥克風壞了 457 00:24:53,043 --> 00:24:53,959 ‎我要射了 458 00:25:19,168 --> 00:25:20,084 ‎葛蕾琴 459 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:24,709 ‎她昨天也哭了一整天 460 00:25:27,168 --> 00:25:28,001 ‎好吧 461 00:25:34,418 --> 00:25:35,834 ‎妳還好嗎? 462 00:25:38,793 --> 00:25:39,709 ‎親愛的,怎麼了? 463 00:25:39,793 --> 00:25:41,584 ‎我不能告訴妳 464 00:25:41,668 --> 00:25:43,876 ‎天啊,當然可以 465 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:47,168 ‎妳想念家人嗎? 466 00:25:48,084 --> 00:25:49,251 ‎不是 467 00:25:49,334 --> 00:25:50,793 ‎親愛的,怎麼了? 468 00:25:53,376 --> 00:25:55,376 ‎我是個白癡 469 00:25:59,376 --> 00:26:01,543 ‎妳會覺得我是妓女 470 00:26:01,626 --> 00:26:03,584 ‎我為什麼會覺得妳是妓女? 471 00:26:04,418 --> 00:26:08,834 ‎我是說,除非妳靠上床來賺錢 472 00:26:08,918 --> 00:26:11,126 ‎或是跟喬治上床 473 00:26:12,001 --> 00:26:14,918 ‎沒有,他根本不是我的菜 474 00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:17,043 ‎不是,我也沒為了錢跟別人上床 475 00:26:18,918 --> 00:26:20,084 ‎怎麼了? 476 00:26:22,543 --> 00:26:25,168 ‎我…懷孕了 477 00:26:27,251 --> 00:26:28,126 ‎該死 478 00:26:28,209 --> 00:26:29,751 ‎看吧?妳討厭我 479 00:26:29,834 --> 00:26:33,084 ‎不是的,天啊,不是這樣,葛蕾琴 480 00:26:34,126 --> 00:26:36,709 ‎另一個互惠生墮了胎 481 00:26:36,793 --> 00:26:39,251 ‎現在她時時刻刻都很憂鬱 482 00:26:39,334 --> 00:26:40,626 ‎她來自瑞典 483 00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:47,168 ‎我只是有點困惑 ‎妳的月經不是上週才剛來過? 484 00:26:47,251 --> 00:26:49,834 ‎-我的月經一直很不規律 ‎-真是不妙 485 00:26:51,501 --> 00:26:52,834 ‎妳告訴男友了嗎? 486 00:26:52,918 --> 00:26:54,584 ‎我不知道孩子是誰的 487 00:26:56,709 --> 00:26:59,501 ‎妳跟很多人交往? 488 00:27:00,918 --> 00:27:03,209 ‎我通常一個週末會有兩個情人 489 00:27:03,293 --> 00:27:05,543 ‎-什麼? ‎-看吧?妳覺得我很淫蕩 490 00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:09,459 ‎我沒有,我只是很驚訝 ‎妳似乎一直待在家裡 491 00:27:09,543 --> 00:27:11,918 ‎對,我很重隱私的,安妮,對 492 00:27:13,376 --> 00:27:15,084 ‎你們不用保險套嗎? 493 00:27:16,293 --> 00:27:18,043 ‎戴了以後感覺不一樣 494 00:27:18,584 --> 00:27:19,709 ‎妳不覺得嗎? 495 00:27:21,251 --> 00:27:22,084 ‎對吧? 496 00:27:22,168 --> 00:27:23,918 ‎妳確定妳懷孕了嗎? 497 00:27:24,001 --> 00:27:25,084 ‎確定 498 00:27:26,126 --> 00:27:27,459 ‎我驗了兩次 499 00:27:29,168 --> 00:27:30,793 ‎我討厭小孩 500 00:27:34,876 --> 00:27:37,959 ‎-沒事的 ‎-我完了 501 00:28:36,043 --> 00:28:37,376 ‎你覺得呢? 502 00:28:37,459 --> 00:28:38,751 ‎比較舒適吧? 503 00:28:41,501 --> 00:28:42,418 ‎好 504 00:28:47,209 --> 00:28:48,209 ‎媽咪 505 00:28:49,459 --> 00:28:51,001 ‎爸爸很快就會醒了 506 00:28:51,751 --> 00:28:52,751 ‎那又如何? 507 00:28:52,834 --> 00:28:54,126 ‎來親一個 508 00:28:55,626 --> 00:28:56,584 ‎我的寶貝! 509 00:28:57,834 --> 00:28:58,793 ‎我可以去外面嗎? 510 00:28:58,876 --> 00:29:00,001 ‎我愛你 511 00:29:00,876 --> 00:29:02,959 ‎-當然可以,去外面玩吧 ‎-好 512 00:29:03,043 --> 00:29:03,876 ‎我愛你 513 00:29:09,209 --> 00:29:12,084 ‎即使大家都說你錯了 514 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:15,168 ‎也要繼續堅持錯下去 515 00:29:15,251 --> 00:29:17,501 ‎因為你周圍和內心裡的空虛 516 00:29:18,168 --> 00:29:20,418 ‎很可能界定了人類的處境 517 00:29:21,918 --> 00:29:24,334 ‎而美食的作用就是要填補那種空虛 518 00:29:27,959 --> 00:29:30,334 ‎被人生吞噬之前先下手為強 519 00:29:34,334 --> 00:29:35,709 ‎(結束) 520 00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:39,626 ‎字幕翻譯:王靜怡