[theme music plays]
♪♪♪
[in French] Hey, Ell is going to come by with Sarah around 2 p.m.,
to go over my Instagram, my Facebook Page, and then,we'll go straight to the hike.
[in French] Promise me you'll never put Albert on these things.
Of course not.
Wait, her daughter doesn't go to school?
No, she doesn't go when she has her period.
All right, well, stay in your office, because you can't make any noise.
I have work to do.
The three of us can't be in the office, the heat is unbearable.
It's not a question of office or no office, Justine,
you're always too hot.
Yes, you're right. Don't you have your spinning class at 2 p.m.?
I can't go, I have too much work.
I have my meeting with Studio Beta this week,
-so I really have to get work done. -Wasn't that last week?
No, they moved it to this week. I told you. Can't you remember?
-No. -No, you don't remember?
Then why didn't you ask me how my meeting that's so important to me went?
I didn't want to bother you with stupid questions.
I was waiting for you to tell me about it.
Justine, do you ever listen when I talk to you or not?
It looks like you don't give a shit about what's happening in my life.
Martin, of course I'm interested in your life.
All I care about is that you find work.
Yes, me too. And I will work.
I'll find work, it's just a question of timing, that's all.
Yes.
Listen, I'm just a guy who's working
and trying to contribute the best way I can
and to be a good father, that's all.
Don't give me that cowering look.
Yes, of course.
♪♪♪
134 followers? How is that even possible?
Yeah, that's what I told her. You're a celebrity chef.
You should have at least 10 times that.
-Like 10,000. -Right.
Well, the restaurant has an Insta, but, you know,
Jerry wants me to have my own because he says
it's all about personal exposure now.
Right, people want to see what you make your son for breakfast.
Stuff like that. They live for that shit.
-My dry cleaner has, like, 2,000. -What?
Definitely ask him to tag you the next time you pick up your clothes.
Uh, do you have any press?
Yes.
That was before the restaurant even.
-And during. -Oh, my God, wow.
Oh, my God, you're everywhere.
Oh, my God, she's-- you're famous.
-She's famous. Wow. -Maybe.
-[in French] Don't we have any oat milk? -Yes, it's in my office.
No, the cat can't be on the table, it's disgusting.
[in English] Okay, well, first, we need to get you a blue check.
How do I do that?
Okay, Instagram just needs to verify you are who you say you are,
which don't worry, should only take a few days,
and then we'll link to your Facebook, which you insist on staying on.
Just so you know, Facebook is dead.
Facebook is dead?
-[in French] Hey, where is it? Where? -On the shelf.
[in English] Okay, and you need people to tag you,
but you must know tons of famous people, right?
Not really, no.
[Martin, in French] Fuck, I can't find it. There's only TP in your office.
[in French] Behind the chicken stock.
Look, see the chicken stock cartons? There.
[Ell, in English] You know a ton of famous people.
Weren't you just hanging out with Brad last week?
Well, he came into the restaurant, and I said "Hi."
-And he said, "Hi." -Yeah.
That's it, that's hanging out. Exactly.
Oh, my God, saying hi's fine.
I mean, technically it's all you need,
but ideally you take a picture with them,
and then you tag them.
Even better, let them tag you.
I don't think I can do that, like, take pictures of famous people
-and ask them to tag me. -Are you kidding me?
-They… -[both] live for that shit.
Huh. Jinx.
Okay, fine, if you're the only one that's going to be tagging them,
there's going to be a slower build.
Uh, does Zendaya ever come in?
-Zendaya? No. -Billie Eilish?
No, I…I don't know. I mean, I don't--
I'm mostly in the kitchen. I don't know what's going on.
I mean, I guess I need to be more aware.
-Yeah. -Oh, I'm sorry.
Can you not roll your eyes like you're
in some kind of teen Disney show right now?
[in French] Sorry, won't you be late to pick up Albert? It's 3:15 p.m.
No. Yasmin is picking him up with Orion and they'll meet us at the hike.
[in English] Okay.
[whispers] Are you guys in some kind of fight?
No, no. The French language is a harsh language.
[door slams]
Okay, then, um, let's get going. Let's go.
So you know, remember that great shrink
that Jeff and I went to before we split up?
-No. -Oh, she was fantastic.
I--I think we would totally still be together
if, um, we'd had the money to keep going.
Well, why are you bringing it up?
Uh, Mom, I can't go on the hike.
You're going on the hike, Sarah.
I can't. I'm literally hemorrhaging right now.
Okay, then, you're gonna babysit your brother.
-No way! -It's babysit Kai,
or go on the hike.
So what I'm thinking is,
I'm just gonna text you the number,
you know, just so you have it.
Okay. Thanks.
♪♪♪
Watch out.
I'll race you! [laughs]
-[Ell] Careful! -[Yasmin] So, is he moving out?
[Anne] Um, yeah, tomorrow.
His place is super funky.
It reminds me of Nolita in the '90s.
[Yasmin] Wow. It's like a whole new beginning.
What do you mean? For George?
For you and George.
Like, you get to go to his place and make it like you're lovers.
You know, it's like your own little lair. It'll be all mysterious.
You know what? You should bring some danger into it.
Like, when I'm starting to get, you know, bored with Will,
I will get in my car and drive,
shut my phone off all day and just vanish.
By the time I get home, we fuck like rabbits.
Okay, you shut off your phone? You?
Yes! Well, I mean, I check every 15 minutes
to make sure Orion's okay.
Oh, so you're, like, mysterious yet fully connected.
Yes! Let's just say, it really works for us.
Yeah, well, fucking was not our problem, Yas.
We were doing it at least twice a week.
Twice a week? My God, that's exhausting.
I mean, Martin and I, we do it maybe twice a year.
No! Come on, Justine!
-It's true. -Guys, I'm so pissed at Jerry.
I used to be a queen at Southern California Financial.
They loved me, and now they're treating me like a piece of shit.
-You know? -Okay, George is moving out tomorrow.
-Oh, God. Anne, I'm so sorry. -Oh, it's okay.
-How's Seb taking it? -Um, he's a little sad, but,
he knows it's temporary.
-Well, what if it's not? -She said it's temporary, Ell.
Okay, I'm sorry, it's just--
I just--you know what I worry about?
Like, kids can feel it when their parents are unhappy, right?
Not all kids.
I didn't even know George was unhappy,
so I'm sure Seb doesn't.
Well, you were high all the time.
Exactly! I was so happy!
Yeah.
Maybe I was celebrating my happiness by getting high
and he was escaping his unhappiness by getting high.
-Hmm. -Wow.
That's deep, Anne.
So, who you gonna pick?
I don't know. I love 'em the same.
Anyway, they decide for me, right?
They decide everything.
I just feel so bad for Sir Gaga.
He's gonna hate driving back and forth.
He'll be so confused with the two different homes.
Your hamster will be fine.
They'll probably bird nest so you and Gaga
can stay in the same place.
That's what most parents are doing now.
Do you guys remember when Kev was always getting in trouble
'cause he kept on forgetting his homework
at either his mom's or his dad's?
That was so unfair.
You gotta push for the bird nesting thing.
I’m lucky because my dad might move back in with us.
They had a temporary trial separation,
then got back together?
Yeah, it's more of a money thing.
He'll bring his tent.
You know?
I'm not sure my parents like each other anymore.
I hope they liked each other when they made me.
I'm sure that's why they did it!
[laughter]
My mom says I'm the best surprise that ever happened to her.
She says that about Kai, too.
Oh, who would you pick if your parents got divorced?
I'd pick my mom for sure.
I mean, when I'm with my mom, the world is like this.
But when I'm with my dad, the world is like this.
Okay.
[sighs] Me and my dad are going to Palo Alto tomorrow.
Think that means that my parents are gonna get divorced too?
Very possible.
What's gonna happen to us?
What's wrong with them?
You know, the other day, my mom got really mad at Jerry
because your mom gave him a banana.
Oh, man.
Bees are dying, penguins' houses are melting,
and everyone's going bananas.
They've ruined everything for us.
I hate them.
I guess we all need to die, so the planet can recover.
[rustling in bushes nearby]
Guys, check out those bunnies!
-Whoa-ho! -Awesome.
[chattering excitedly]
Oh, look at them.
-[Anne] They're so cute. -[Ell] Aw!
[Yasmin] They're still babies.
Yeah. But don't forget, we are raising
-the men of the future. -Yes.
Oh, God, is that a-- is that a snake?
-No, no, no, it's-- -Orion!
-It's a rabbit. -Orion!
♪♪♪
[line ringing]
[gusty sigh]
[line ringing]
-Hello? -Ell.
I--I think Michael Fassbender is here.
-Well, just ask him to tag you. -Mom!
What? Okay, I gotta go.
Just keep thinking 10k, 10k, 10k.
Okay, bye.
10k, 10k.
Fred, Fred, Fred.
Do you think that's Michael Fassbender over there?
Michael…oof.
Remember that scene from 12 Years?
With the [imitates whip crack]?
Oh, I love him but that was so scary.
But he's an actor. He was--he was acting.
Yeah, I know. It's just…
Well, I wouldn't want to bother him.
-Miss? -You know what?
-It's not him. -Okay.
I can't believe you're going on
your big boy trip with Daddy tomorrow.
You know, you can call me if you get scared.
Any time. Even if it's in the middle of the night.
You know that, right?
I won't get scared.
I know. You're my big boy.
[inhales] Hmm. Okay.
-Let's go to sleep, all right? -'Kay.
[sighs]
Mom?
I think I should try to fall asleep alone tonight.
Oh. But it's our last night.
I know, but… I need to practice.
Okay. You sure?
Yes, Mom.
[sighs] All right, my love.
You sleep well, okay?
[door closes]
Have a great time. [kisses]
Be good and listen to Daddy, okay?
Okay.
You sure you can manage on your own?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm talking about even during the conference, all day?
Yasmin, we've been over this.
There's gonna be other kids there.
And they have all kinds of things planned for them.
I know, but who is this "they"?
-Yasmin. -Okay, okay.
-Fine. He'll be fine. -Yeah.
-It's fine. "They" have got it covered. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, we'll text you when we get there.
Probably gonna stop and see the sea lions on the way,
so I'm thinking around 7:00 p.m., okay?
-Okay. -All right, love you.
-Mwah. -Bye. Have fun.
Okay.
[speaks Farsi], your seatbelt. Orion, honey, seatbelt.
And, Will, don't forget lotion. His lotion.
All right.
Love you.
Bye! Have fun, guys!
-Bye! -Bye, hon!
Oof!
All right, let's do this.
Bye!
[Yasmin] Bye!
♪♪♪
Put this here, no?
-Yeah. -So you can see the view.
Aah.
Think you're gonna make great music here, Mr. George.
[George] Look, look, look, look, look at that!
-[Jesus chuckles] -[George] That's pretty incredible.
[Jesus] Yeah. [chuckles]
[George] Yeah, you don't get that in Venice.
Yeah, you don't get the beach, though.
-Don't get the beach. -[George] Oh, I love it!
[Jesus] Best conch chowder in Los Angeles.
-Seventh and Flower. -Okay, well, damn.
I know where I'm having dinner, then.
[laughs]
Okay, so, um, I think we can take it from here.
Thank you so much, Jesus.
I'll stop by on Saturday for the passion fruits?
-Great. -They need a lot of extra care.
Okay.
-Okay. -Thank you.
Bye.
You know, it feels like New York, right?
Oh.
Yeah, I thought it was just me.
It's boiling in here.
Yeah, it's really hot.
It's really hot.
Hey, you know, I was thinking of, um,
If you want to move to New York, I'd be really, really cool with that.
I mean, $200 a night spinning beats for kids on Molly.
Anne, you've gotta have money to live in New York.
You have money.
Oh, no, no, no, no. You have money.
-It's our money. -[scoffs]
-[phone chimes] -It is!
Oh, great. Internet guy will be here from 2:00 to 5:00.
-What? -Yeah.
Don't do that. You know I'm capable of setting up my own internet.
All right? I'm almost 45.
"Forty-five. I'm 45." God.
I don't know what the big deal is, all right?
I turned 55 and I didn't go on and on about it, did I?
Well, you don't have the same existential fears
-as the rest of us, do you? -Oh, really?
-How about the fear of dying? -How about the fear of starving?
Of not having a roof over your head?
Oh, honey.
I would never let you starve.
You'll always have a roof over your head.
-Stop. -You're my family.
The tone, Anne. Right there. That.
You talk to me how you speak to Sebastian
when he was a baby and had diaper rash.
-You can't-- -Okay, okay, sorry.
I'm sorry.
I know I'm being a dick. I should lay down.
My head's killing me.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, well, um, I guess, uh…hmm.
I guess, um…
I guess I'll go.
Okay, bye. I'll see you Friday.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you Friday.
Have a great time.
♪♪♪
[outgoing call ringing]
-[loud rock music on stereo] -It's Mom.
-Hey, Mom. -Oh, how are you, my love?
Good. We're listening to music and singing.
Hey, babe!
-Okay. -[Will] We're good.
Great. Well, call me when you guys get there.
-Okay. Bye. -Love you.
[sighs]
♪♪♪
I wanted to show that he was super versatile
and I hope that comes across in the pictures.
Hmm.
So Kai, are you excited to do this?
Kai? Are you?
Super excited.
You know, he's that kid.
You know, the one who always does those weird voices
and he's always trying on different costumes.
He has been begging me to do this
since he was…a year.
No, Kai, you don't need to do that, sweetie.
Linda, I also want to talk to you about my two other kids.
I've got a mixed race, half black, half white
14-year-old daughter.
Think Zendaya meets Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
And I have a neuro-diverse 12-year-old boy.
Caucasian but very exotic features.
He could definitely pass as Latino.
Not much work for lookalike Latinos in this climate.
Okay, right. No, I got it.
I just wanted to give you options.
We're like the United Colors of Benetton.
[laughs]
Wait, the what?
It's okay.
Moving on.
Kai, your mommy and I are gonna talk for a little bit.
And you can wait for her out in the waiting room, okay?
Do you like to color?
No.
Oh, well, don't worry.
Jessica! We have a fun friend who can't wait to play with you.
There are tons of other awesome toys you can play with.
[whispers] Mom is gonna talk business.
Hi, Kai.
Come. I'll color with you.
We've been doing very well
for our Asian clients these last few years.
Oh, of course you have. They're the future.
And you want to know why, girl to girl?
They can go all night.
They have so much energy.
I mean, look at China.
Okay. So…
Let me explain to you how we work.
We take 20% of every job booked.
That's standard fare in youth.
We like for our clients to take a couple of acting classes
before we start sending them out.
And in your case, we're going to have to redo his photos
because they're terrible.
-Really? -Really.
Now typically we charge $3,000 for the whole package.
That's including the classes and the photos.
But in your case, because we believe in Kai,
we can probably do $2,500.
[electric guitar playing]
[Ell] Guys, listen up.
As of today, you're all clients
of Ell Horowitz Youth Talent Management!
-They didn't want him? -[Kai] No!
We didn't want them!
I'm gonna be on TV, and Mommy and me
are going to be very rich, and buy a million Legos.
-Right, Mama? -Right.
♪ Penis head ♪
Mom, he's calling me penis head!
Oliver, stop calling your brother penis head.
That was just the name of my song.
Uncle fucker!
Okay, no, no, no, that's it.
No more South Park, effective immediately.
-Ow! -Oliver, come on.
He copies everything you say.
He's gonna get kicked out of school.
That's not my fault!
Why am I always getting blamed for everything?
Can you keep it down?
I can hear you through my headphones.
Punish him! He was saying bad words, Mom!
No more Fortnite!
Okay, Oliver, yes.
Effective immediately, no more Fortnite.
You're a hostage to a 6-year-old.
You know that, right?
-[playing guitar] -♪ Penis head ♪
-[Kai] Uncle fucker!
♪♪♪
[cell buttons beeping]
[line ringing]
Hey, it's me.
Yeah, I'm alone.
No, no, they left for Palo Alto this morning.
♪♪♪
[sighs]
[meows]
[chewing]
[cat meows]
[groans quietly]
-402. -[meows]
-[phone ringing] -Ah!
[in French] Dad, how are you?
[in French] I was worried.
No, I couldn't call you.
I was so busy with my Facebook Page and Instagram.
You always say it's all nonsense.
No, but nowadays, you can't have a career without it. You just can't.
It's that or the restaurant goes bankrupt.
Hey, you don't look so well.
No, I fell asleep fully clothed, I was exhausted, and I got home late.
You haven't sent me your recipe for your veal carrot stew.
Yes, the veal carrot stew.
Yes, I've started to write it, you know,
but I type really slowly with one finger.
-One finger. -Just one finger?
Oh, my goodness, I miss you, Daddy. Don't you want to come visit?
I have enough miles to get you a free ticket.
It's depressing, right now, the United States with that guy in power.
At least here, I can go around the corner for my coffee.
But… actually, things aren't great with Martin right now, you know.
Yes, well, if you never fuck…
But at the same time, if you sleep fully clothed with your panties on,
it must macerate in there, no?
No, it's not just that. That's not it.
He's putting me down, he's always critical of me.
Hey, is he a narcissist?
In France, we talk a lot about narcissists right now.
Dad, he's awake. I have to let you go.
I love you, kisses, Daddy. I'll call you back. Love you.
Love you. Stand up to him.
[Justine] Shh!
[in French] How are you? Was that your father again?
Yes, we're talking about recipes.
Wait, Gaston, wait.
-Oh, my, yummy. -You're giving him tuna? It's expensive.
Yes, but you know that's the only thing he can digest now.
Gaston?
-Martin, can we talk? -Talk about…
-We could talk about… about us. -Talk about what?
Well, about-- Maybe with someone who could help us…
Listen, Justine, if you want to be like all these American idiots,
and have a therapist, go ahead, be my guest,
but it'll be without me, I don't have time.
Who's giving you all this advice? Is that your best friend? Ell, is that it?
You can't deny that her life is a disaster.
-It's a disaster, do you agree with me? -Well…
So you should distance yourself a bit from Ell, you know.
And while you're at it, distance yourself also from Anne, who's always high,
and also from Yasmin, who's very, very complicated.
You know, Justine, you could have normal friends.
You should try. You're allowed.
Sweet pea, don't look so down.
Compared to other families, it's paradise, in our home.
You don't realize that.
-No, but-- It's okay. I'm tired. -Give me a kiss.
[meows]
-[meows] -[Martin tsks]
This is a delicious stew that is all about the details.
Right?
And my dad is a fanatic when it comes to details.
Papa Justine!
Anyway, the way you sauté the meat
and how thick you cut the carrots is one thing.
But the most important and the true secret
about the perfect veau aux carottes
is all about how you massage the meat.
Always with a firm,
yet soft touch.
Like so.
Rubbing it deeply and slowly,
so the oil and the spices…
truly penetrate it.
[sighs]
[moans]
Anyway.
♪♪♪
[Justine typing]
"It's not always easy to spot a narcissist
"because they often pretend to be a well advising friend or husband.
The narcissist denigrates family, friends, to make a void around you."