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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎在那奇妙又美麗的早晨

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‎我的嗅覺恢復了

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‎媽咪，便便警戒

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‎-在哪裡？
‎-在客廳裡

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‎電視東邊三坨，沙發南邊兩坨

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‎-爸爸呢？
‎-在廚房裡

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‎-好，去纏住他
‎-好

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‎該死

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‎第四集，亂大便的貓

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‎可以加點香草嗎，爸？

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‎好啊

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‎不對，我要新鮮香草

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‎對，那當然了，你媽是廚師

15
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‎沙發南邊兩坨…該死，拉在哪裡？

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‎-好了，煮好了
‎-謝謝

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‎我做了早餐

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‎太好了，好極了

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‎妳好嗎，親愛的？

20
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‎很好，好極了，來吃吧

21
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‎祝大家胃口大開

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‎是的，我來拿一片吐司…

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‎我聞到殭屍的屎味

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‎真的嗎？我沒聞到耶

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‎我聞得到妳那隻貓的屎味

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‎我什麼都沒聞到，你也沒聞到吧？

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‎-對
‎-沒有耶

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‎那當然了，妳感冒了

29
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‎不對，我鼻塞好了

30
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‎我醒來後嗅覺就恢復正常了

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‎-就這麼簡單？
‎-就這麼簡單，那種藥很有效

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‎好

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‎妳要去餐廳嗎？傑瑞叫妳專心寫書

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‎我還是得去看看情況

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‎好吧

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‎我要在家工作，我得準備下週的簡報

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‎對象是傑瑞幫你引見的建築師嗎？

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‎對，他們之前就知道我的作品了

39
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‎-在巴黎的作品
‎-當然了

40
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‎他們對我讚譽有加

41
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‎太好了

42
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‎說真的，有股臭味

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‎我們沒聞到耶，只有你聞到

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‎你聞到怪味了嗎？

45
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‎-有味道
‎-沒事啦，沒有

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‎聞起來有點像屎味

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‎-沒有啊
‎-沒有啊

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‎爸爸很快就會去上班了嗎？

49
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‎對，他正在努力趕快去上班

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‎他會出門去工作嗎？

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‎因為我覺得偶爾離開家對他有好處

52
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‎對，大家都會出門工作

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‎他說如果他人在法國

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‎他會是歐洲最偉大的建築師

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‎他這麼說？

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‎對

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‎（馬丁：衛生紙沒了）

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‎（只好用廚房紙巾）

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‎（妳回家的路上可以去買）

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‎別用手機，蠢女人

61
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‎好，你就超車啊
‎我看到你了，白痴！

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‎媽，別追上去

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‎對不起，親愛的，只是他真的是…

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‎媽，妳比較喜歡當媽媽還是廚師？

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‎我喜歡當你的媽媽，那是我的最愛

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‎所以妳不喜歡當廚師？

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‎不是的，我喜歡當廚師
‎但那是我的工作

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‎房子失火了

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‎妳只能救一個人

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‎妳會救誰，是我還是加斯頓？

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‎加斯頓又不是人

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‎牠是老貓，應該早就死了吧？

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‎抱歉，不是，但你也知道的

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‎那我跟爸爸二選一呢？

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‎你啊

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‎但如果是妳跟我二選一呢？

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‎你啊

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‎-好，媽
‎-永遠都是

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‎我今晚會很晚回家

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‎我在餐廳有很多工作要做

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‎你可能已經睡著了
‎但我會給你晚安吻

82
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‎妳每次都這麼說
‎但我怎麼知道妳真的有親？

83
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‎這樣好了，你那隻小白兔玩偶？

84
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‎手指玩偶？

85
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‎對，手指玩偶

86
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‎我呢…

87
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‎會放在你的枕頭上

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‎那樣你就知道我給了你晚安吻

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‎-好，我喜歡
‎-好，好極了

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‎-親一個
‎-愛妳喔，媽

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‎40幾歲的女人轉換跑道的選擇

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‎40幾歲的女人轉換跑道的選擇

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‎一，牙醫助理

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‎二，醫療行政助理

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‎三，保險業務員

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‎（艾兒霍洛維茲，5000元）

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‎下一位

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‎妳好，我想兌換這張支票

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‎-我馬上回來
‎-好

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‎-謝謝
‎-好

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‎霍洛維茲太太
‎我是分行經理拜倫強森

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‎妳好嗎？

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‎一切都好，謝謝關心

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‎-你好嗎？
‎-棒棒糖沒了

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‎我想藉著這個機會感謝妳

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‎24年來都是本行忠實客戶

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‎天啊，24年啦

108
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‎我一定是小時候就來開戶了

109
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‎你們的棒棒糖沒了

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‎葛萊蒂絲，我們說過了
‎是每個顧客一支

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‎小氣鬼

112
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‎葛萊蒂絲，如果妳要搗蛋的話

113
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‎我就得請妳先離開囉

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‎-真抱歉
‎-沒關係

115
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‎霍洛維茲太太，肯定是有什麼誤會

116
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‎但看起來妳的支票
‎發票幾天後就止付了

117
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‎什麼？抱歉，那是不可能的

118
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‎我知道，但的確是這樣

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‎千萬別相信這傢伙說的鬼話

120
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‎好，拜倫，身為24年來的忠實顧客

121
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‎我可以向你保證你絕對是弄錯了

122
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‎我想兌現這張支票

123
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‎我了解妳很不高興

124
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‎不過非常遺憾
‎我們不能兌現止付的支票

125
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‎還有墨水顏色和筆跡不同的問題

126
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‎什麼？可以讓我看看嗎？

127
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‎妳看，受款人和簽名
‎是用藍色墨水寫的

128
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‎而金額是用黑色墨水寫的

129
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‎我都沒注意到

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‎妳也沒注意到簽名有這種…

131
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‎好，夠了

132
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‎我要馬上關閉帳戶

133
00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:31,626
‎-霍洛維茲太太
‎-我想關閉我的帳戶

134
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:33,959
‎去準備文件

135
00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:35,793
‎我整天都在躲電話

136
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‎匯豐銀行、花旗銀行
‎跟大通銀行都在爭取我這個客戶

137
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‎我都說：“我不想聽
‎免費送我錢我也不要

138
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‎留給別人
‎我只跟南加州金融銀行往來”

139
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‎我就是這麼念舊

140
00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:48,209
‎我非常忠誠

141
00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:49,751
‎好嗎？

142
00:07:51,543 --> 00:07:53,959
‎悉聽尊便，請跟我來

143
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‎樂意之至

144
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‎到今天為止
‎妳的帳戶透支1278.67美元

145
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‎不包括透支手續費

146
00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:13,084
‎-什麼？
‎-妳要怎麼處理餘額的問題？

147
00:08:13,168 --> 00:08:15,293
‎真的假的？你這個人真的很離譜

148
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‎如果你讓我兌現支票
‎我現在就可以處理餘額的問題

149
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‎-霍洛維茲太太
‎-不要再叫我霍洛維茲太太

150
00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:24,209
‎給他們好看，女孩

151
00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:27,084
‎這間分行要完蛋了

152
00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:30,084
‎對…

153
00:08:31,918 --> 00:08:32,750
‎我知道

154
00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:37,750
‎誰叫我要嫁給比我小十歲的男人

155
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,043
‎我只是想確保可以提早解除租約

156
00:08:41,709 --> 00:08:42,625
‎太好了

157
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:44,834
‎好吧，那我…

158
00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:47,543
‎明天就把錢匯給你

159
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:51,043
‎好，非常感謝

160
00:08:51,126 --> 00:08:52,376
‎感激不盡

161
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:54,876
‎好，再見

162
00:08:56,834 --> 00:09:00,293
‎妳沒清男神卡卡的籠子嗎？臭死了

163
00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:02,793
‎沒辦法，我月經來了

164
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,084
‎聞到那個臭味就讓我作嘔，安妮

165
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:07,918
‎-不是上週來過？
‎-我也這麼以為啊

166
00:09:08,459 --> 00:09:11,168
‎應該叫賽巴斯欽
‎自己清卡卡的籠子，安妮

167
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,668
‎-那是他的寵物
‎-我知道

168
00:09:12,751 --> 00:09:16,251
‎研究顯示做家事的孩子不會有毒癮

169
00:09:16,334 --> 00:09:17,834
‎-好吧
‎-我可以找報導給妳看

170
00:09:17,918 --> 00:09:20,209
‎-我找給妳看
‎-好吧，我會跟他談談

171
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,668
‎可以幫我打開這個嗎？

172
00:09:21,751 --> 00:09:23,668
‎我現在很想吐，安妮

173
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:26,293
‎我需要去透透氣

174
00:09:28,209 --> 00:09:29,043
‎好吧

175
00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:35,209
‎你好，黑蘇斯

176
00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:37,168
‎-妳好
‎-好棒的新卡車

177
00:09:37,251 --> 00:09:38,418
‎我喜歡這個顏色

178
00:09:39,084 --> 00:09:40,459
‎這是客制化的顏色

179
00:09:41,084 --> 00:09:44,001
‎不曉得你這週末有沒有空來幫喬治

180
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,084
‎他在市中心租了房子
‎當辦公室之類的

181
00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:48,918
‎他需要搬東西，而且…

182
00:09:49,626 --> 00:09:51,459
‎我當然會給你薪水

183
00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:52,376
‎不用了

184
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,001
‎我很樂意幫妳，安妮小姐

185
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,918
‎我離婚的時候真的很難受

186
00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:00,959
‎我沒有要離婚

187
00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:05,543
‎我記得你離婚的時候非常憔悴

188
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:08,043
‎情況有好轉了吧？

189
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:13,876
‎“死過一次之後
‎其餘的痛苦都不算什麼”

190
00:10:14,459 --> 00:10:15,709
‎好美的詩句

191
00:10:15,793 --> 00:10:19,709
‎我的卡車後面放了

192
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,959
‎草莓和百香果藤

193
00:10:21,043 --> 00:10:22,418
‎我今天就可以種好

194
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:23,459
‎太好了

195
00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:25,459
‎好，賽巴斯欽一定很開心

196
00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:29,043
‎-記在我的月帳單上
‎-不用，這是送妳的禮物，安妮小姐

197
00:10:29,126 --> 00:10:30,876
‎不行，我不能接受

198
00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:32,543
‎-我堅持
‎-這怎麼行

199
00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:33,501
‎真的沒關係

200
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:35,001
‎我來幫妳吧

201
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:36,584
‎謝謝

202
00:10:41,168 --> 00:10:42,501
‎好，真輕鬆

203
00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:44,959
‎多謝

204
00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:49,751
‎我不喜歡他跟妳互動的樣子，安妮

205
00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:52,168
‎別這樣，他只是很友善

206
00:10:53,209 --> 00:10:55,793
‎他想跟妳上床，顯而易見

207
00:10:55,876 --> 00:10:58,501
‎感謝妳的關心，葛蕾琴，但拜託吧

208
00:10:58,584 --> 00:11:00,626
‎他聞得出妳恢復單身了

209
00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:03,584
‎男人都聞得出來，他們就像狗一樣

210
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,793
‎-他聞不到吧
‎-他一定聞得到

211
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,376
‎總之，我又不是單身

212
00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:11,126
‎別擔心，我會緊盯著他

213
00:11:11,209 --> 00:11:12,834
‎好，我得準備去上班了

214
00:11:12,918 --> 00:11:16,209
‎妳去接小賽的途中
‎得去買點雞肉當晚餐

215
00:11:16,293 --> 00:11:17,668
‎好啦

216
00:11:22,251 --> 00:11:25,668
‎妳好，記得我嗎？我是妳的鄰居

217
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,251
‎我是狗狗派翠克的主人

218
00:11:28,126 --> 00:11:29,751
‎妳好，對，派翠克，當然記得

219
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:31,959
‎很高興妳找到牠了

220
00:11:32,043 --> 00:11:33,668
‎應該是這樣吧，既然我聽到牠…

221
00:11:33,751 --> 00:11:35,126
‎我們沒找到牠

222
00:11:35,709 --> 00:11:37,584
‎對，但牠找到回家的路，所以…

223
00:11:38,168 --> 00:11:39,876
‎我們知道是妳幹的好事

224
00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:44,293
‎妳打給動物管制處
‎找人來我們家抓走派翠克

225
00:11:46,209 --> 00:11:48,459
‎我為什麼會做這種事？

226
00:11:48,543 --> 00:11:50,709
‎我不知道，為什麼？

227
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,709
‎什麼樣的人會找人來抓走

228
00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:55,584
‎兩個小孩這麼疼愛的狗狗

229
00:11:55,668 --> 00:11:58,209
‎就只因為牠興奮起來有點愛叫？

230
00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,959
‎聽著，我想妳應該是誤會了

231
00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:02,459
‎我很喜歡狗

232
00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:05,084
‎我們沒養是因為我先生會過敏

233
00:12:05,168 --> 00:12:10,793
‎-但我可以向妳保證…
‎-是妳兒子跟我的孩子說的，好嗎？

234
00:12:10,876 --> 00:12:12,501
‎-他才沒有
‎-他有

235
00:12:12,584 --> 00:12:15,626
‎他告訴他們
‎妳把派翠克拋到圍籬另一頭

236
00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:18,251
‎用毛毯包著，就像墨西哥捲餅

237
00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:22,584
‎我們的圍籬上有大型的鐵製尖刺

238
00:12:22,668 --> 00:12:26,543
‎妳能想像我的孩子

239
00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:30,126
‎一醒來就看到
‎他們最愛的狗被圍籬刺穿身體嗎？

240
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:36,376
‎聽著，我的兒子歐萊恩
‎有無窮的創意，心思也很細膩

241
00:12:37,043 --> 00:12:39,543
‎我認為他很像詩人…

242
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,626
‎他描述給我家孩子聽的過程

243
00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:43,334
‎可沒什麼詩意

244
00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:47,543
‎好吧，謝謝妳來表達關切

245
00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:49,168
‎我會跟他談談

246
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:51,126
‎好啊，儘管跟他談

247
00:12:51,209 --> 00:12:55,251
‎但在那之前
‎妳得先決定是要養出誠實

248
00:12:55,334 --> 00:12:58,001
‎又能明辨是非的孩子

249
00:12:58,084 --> 00:13:01,959
‎還是要養出
‎會掩飾媽媽變態行為的小騙子

250
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:16,168
‎（那混蛋止付了支票！）

251
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:17,251
‎什麼？

252
00:13:22,293 --> 00:13:23,793
‎（叫他盡快聯絡我）

253
00:13:27,584 --> 00:13:30,168
‎（我盡量）

254
00:13:37,459 --> 00:13:39,043
‎（我吹了他的簫，別再裝清純）

255
00:13:39,126 --> 00:13:40,584
‎裝清純？

256
00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:57,084
‎“我夢到自己變成鵝肝場裡的鵝

257
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,376
‎但農夫不是強灌我穀物

258
00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:01,501
‎而是灌了混凝土

259
00:14:02,293 --> 00:14:04,668
‎當混凝土在我的內臟裡乾掉後

260
00:14:04,751 --> 00:14:06,793
‎我就由內往外爆炸了”

261
00:14:06,876 --> 00:14:07,709
‎好吧

262
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:15,834
‎不是說好要少寫這麼存在主義的東西

263
00:14:15,918 --> 00:14:18,376
‎而且為什麼有一堆瘋狂的新食譜？

264
00:14:18,459 --> 00:14:23,376
‎是什麼來著？
‎小鵪鶉佐海膽跟濃縮石榴醬？

265
00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:25,876
‎好，首先，幼小的動物是禁忌

266
00:14:25,959 --> 00:14:28,043
‎美國人不喜歡吃幼小的動物

267
00:14:28,126 --> 00:14:29,876
‎他們想要經典料理，對吧？

268
00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:31,793
‎他們想看到法式燉雞

269
00:14:31,876 --> 00:14:36,334
‎或是用永續食材烹煮的馬賽魚湯

270
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,459
‎要有熟悉的味道

271
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:39,876
‎-就像…
‎-女性化

272
00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:42,876
‎沒錯，要女性化，符合母性特質

273
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:45,959
‎想想…媽媽的形象
‎對吧？但稍微性感一點

274
00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:47,251
‎想想孩子在廚房裡

275
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:49,751
‎一大張木桌上做功課

276
00:14:50,668 --> 00:14:53,418
‎想像一下小艾伯特跑進來

277
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,793
‎烤箱裡幫他準備好了法式鹹派

278
00:14:56,876 --> 00:14:59,626
‎而妳和馬丁剛在樓上很快做了一次

279
00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:03,418
‎我從來就沒有辦法
‎在家等艾伯特下課回來

280
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,543
‎也沒時間很快做一次

281
00:15:05,626 --> 00:15:08,459
‎做這行本來就沒時間上床
‎也都見不到孩子

282
00:15:08,543 --> 00:15:09,834
‎你就常上床啊

283
00:15:09,918 --> 00:15:12,043
‎-什麼？
‎-對吧？不是嗎？

284
00:15:13,918 --> 00:15:15,126
‎所以你有時間…

285
00:15:15,209 --> 00:15:17,876
‎我沒有小孩…

286
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,501
‎我生病了，好嗎？

287
00:15:21,584 --> 00:15:24,209
‎這害我失去畢生摯愛

288
00:15:24,293 --> 00:15:27,043
‎我連“性”字都不能說出口

289
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:29,126
‎我現在不想談私事

290
00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:31,793
‎但最重要的是妳了解這一行

291
00:15:31,876 --> 00:15:36,084
‎女主廚，成熟的女主廚
‎他們要的是傳統而經典的形象

292
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:38,209
‎好，好極了，去跟《美食與美酒》說

293
00:15:38,293 --> 00:15:39,418
‎我被選為最佳新銳主廚

294
00:15:39,501 --> 00:15:40,376
‎五年前的事了

295
00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:42,668
‎在這一行算歷史久遠了

296
00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:44,459
‎如果出版商想要創新的菜餚

297
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:49,251
‎他們早就找冰島的年輕性感主廚了

298
00:15:49,334 --> 00:15:51,459
‎在照片社群網站
‎還有成千上萬的使用者追蹤

299
00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,209
‎他們有點擔心

300
00:15:53,293 --> 00:15:56,709
‎妳在社群網站“不夠活躍”

301
00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:58,543
‎但那又是另一件事

302
00:15:58,626 --> 00:16:00,376
‎不對，我有上臉書啊

303
00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,168
‎臉書？

304
00:16:04,168 --> 00:16:05,709
‎好吧，賈絲汀…

305
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:10,626
‎我們都為妳著想，對不對？

306
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:12,959
‎妳困在盲點

307
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:15,251
‎而我們都想把妳推向光明

308
00:16:15,334 --> 00:16:17,543
‎不上Instagram，就沒有光明可言

309
00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,709
‎妳就只是處於文化盲點之中

310
00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:22,501
‎把法式燉雞貼上網就能進入光明？

311
00:16:23,501 --> 00:16:24,793
‎想想《料理鼠王》

312
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:26,459
‎牠是怎麼成名的？

313
00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:29,501
‎一道來自他跟媽媽學的簡單食譜

314
00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:32,043
‎不行，我媽從來沒有
‎傳授過任何東西給我

315
00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:34,418
‎她在我十歲那年
‎跟一個巴勒斯坦詩人私奔了

316
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:37,293
‎天啊，好有法式作風，我喜歡

317
00:16:38,751 --> 00:16:40,043
‎妳有聞到怪味嗎？

318
00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:43,043
‎所以你希望
‎我從迪士尼公鼠身上汲取靈感？

319
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:46,459
‎不對，我希望妳盡快完成初稿

320
00:16:46,543 --> 00:16:47,709
‎-那好吧
‎-僅此而已

321
00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:50,043
‎-好
‎-抱歉

322
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:52,251
‎既然講到老鼠

323
00:16:52,334 --> 00:16:53,168
‎好

324
00:16:53,668 --> 00:16:55,126
‎你止付艾兒的支票了？

325
00:16:57,293 --> 00:16:58,168
‎有嗎？

326
00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,168
‎對，沒錯

327
00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:01,751
‎好樣的，你怎麼可以這麼對她？

328
00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:03,334
‎不，很抱歉

329
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:05,626
‎我依稀記得有人說我不道德

330
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,583
‎指控我把朋友變成妓女

331
00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:11,583
‎我止付支票就是要清楚表明

332
00:17:11,668 --> 00:17:14,708
‎艾兒跟我共享的那一刻

333
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,833
‎無關金錢交易，好嗎？

334
00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:21,458
‎妳和我會一起幫助我們的朋友

335
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:23,418
‎只要別給她施捨的感覺就好

336
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,708
‎-就這樣，對
‎-好吧

337
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,958
‎你跟我會一起想辦法幫她

338
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:32,709
‎什麼？

339
00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:39,126
‎-妳回來了
‎-是啊

340
00:17:39,209 --> 00:17:40,251
‎我們好想妳

341
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:44,209
‎佛瑞德，你可以做芒果醬嗎？
‎我要淋在肥母雞上

342
00:17:44,293 --> 00:17:45,209
‎好，主廚

343
00:17:45,918 --> 00:17:48,918
‎喬依，今晚請在蔬菜燉牛肉裡

344
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,959
‎放點鹽漬鱈魚

345
00:17:51,043 --> 00:17:53,334
‎蔬菜燉牛肉加魚肉？
‎在這個時候換新食譜？

346
00:17:53,418 --> 00:17:54,876
‎現在不換，更待何時？

347
00:17:55,793 --> 00:17:59,376
‎拯救陷入盲點的老太太
‎幫助她邁向光明吧

348
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,501
‎稍微改變一下吧

349
00:18:02,376 --> 00:18:04,334
‎容我提醒大家這裡我說了算

350
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,834
‎好，女當家講得很清楚了

351
00:18:08,084 --> 00:18:11,376
‎叫我女當家…

352
00:18:19,751 --> 00:18:20,751
‎媽咪？

353
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,459
‎你好，親愛的

354
00:18:25,168 --> 00:18:26,793
‎你真可愛

355
00:18:26,876 --> 00:18:28,168
‎才不可愛，媽

356
00:18:28,251 --> 00:18:31,334
‎我是個可怕的忍者
‎一出招便能取大人的性命

357
00:18:31,418 --> 00:18:33,751
‎好吧，饒我一命

358
00:18:34,376 --> 00:18:35,709
‎可怕的忍者

359
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:38,459
‎聽著，吃點心之前

360
00:18:38,543 --> 00:18:40,834
‎我想先跟你談談

361
00:18:40,918 --> 00:18:42,334
‎-來
‎-好吧

362
00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:46,209
‎那麼，歐萊恩…

363
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:51,084
‎媽咪前幾天做了不太好的事

364
00:18:51,168 --> 00:18:54,834
‎她希望你知道她盡了全力

365
00:18:54,918 --> 00:18:56,709
‎要好好彌補

366
00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:02,668
‎基本上媽咪是很擔心派翠克

367
00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:07,168
‎牠總是在大太陽底下哀嚎跟挨餓

368
00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:12,834
‎媽咪原本希望如果她聯絡動物服務處

369
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,584
‎他們或許就可以來幫牠

370
00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:21,793
‎但她…我不知道他們真的會跑來

371
00:19:21,876 --> 00:19:23,918
‎這樣強行把牠帶走

372
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,543
‎然後…我發現這個情況時

373
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:28,793
‎我很難過

374
00:19:30,209 --> 00:19:31,043
‎然後…

375
00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:34,501
‎我就趕過去找牠

376
00:19:34,584 --> 00:19:37,334
‎帶牠回到家人的身邊

377
00:19:38,626 --> 00:19:43,084
‎我指的是你前幾晚往窗外看到的情況

378
00:19:43,626 --> 00:19:46,001
‎我希望你知道我真的認為

379
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,918
‎我是為了這條小狗著想

380
00:19:49,459 --> 00:19:53,084
‎那妳為什麼跟他們媽媽說
‎妳不清楚狗狗的下落？

381
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:57,626
‎我想我是很擔心
‎他們的媽媽會生我的氣

382
00:19:57,709 --> 00:20:01,084
‎我希望說了謊就可以幫我爭取時間

383
00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:04,501
‎讓我可以…天啊…收拾這整個爛攤子

384
00:20:05,126 --> 00:20:07,959
‎沒關係，媽，派翠克現在安全了

385
00:20:08,043 --> 00:20:09,168
‎妳不用難過

386
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,793
‎謝謝，親愛的

387
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,001
‎學校教我們要忠於自己

388
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:17,209
‎講得真好

389
00:20:21,501 --> 00:20:26,126
‎我幫你做薑黃杏仁奶昔吧

390
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:28,751
‎等你做完波斯語功課就可以喝了

391
00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:30,334
‎好啊

392
00:20:31,168 --> 00:20:32,001
‎好

393
00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:43,751
‎我愛這張，凱，你很會擺姿勢

394
00:20:43,834 --> 00:20:45,376
‎凱，看著我眨眼

395
00:20:45,459 --> 00:20:47,459
‎彷彿要出什麼妙招的樣子

396
00:20:48,376 --> 00:20:50,293
‎現在嚴肅地看看我

397
00:20:50,376 --> 00:20:52,376
‎彷彿你正在認真思考

398
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:55,084
‎“媽，妳比較喜歡奧利佛還是莎拉？”

399
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:57,209
‎不對，在心裡想就好，快點

400
00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,418
‎-媽，快拍完了嗎？
‎-什麼事？

401
00:20:59,501 --> 00:21:01,334
‎我什麼時候可以吃甜甜圈？

402
00:21:01,418 --> 00:21:02,668
‎再拍一套，親愛的

403
00:21:02,751 --> 00:21:05,168
‎然後我們就去買甜甜圈，我保證

404
00:21:05,251 --> 00:21:07,293
‎這套呢？快換衣服

405
00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:09,084
‎-運動風的凱
‎-沒錯，寶貝

406
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:10,709
‎穿上吧，快點

407
00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:12,626
‎趕快換好，脫掉上衣

408
00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:22,126
‎我剛跟網路商店通過電話

409
00:21:22,209 --> 00:21:25,043
‎那件雅絲敏洋裝三天就賣光了

410
00:21:25,126 --> 00:21:26,501
‎太棒了

411
00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:29,084
‎今天早上高級時裝網路商店來電詢問

412
00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:31,918
‎我們是否有任何能馬上出貨的商品

413
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,209
‎真的成功了

414
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:38,376
‎-正式進軍女裝界
‎-這是妳應得的，安妮

415
00:21:39,084 --> 00:21:40,376
‎我好開心

416
00:21:40,459 --> 00:21:42,376
‎我也是，我好興奮

417
00:21:47,751 --> 00:21:50,376
‎親愛的，等等，別哭了

418
00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:53,793
‎醒醒，親愛的
‎你在作惡夢，你還好嗎？

419
00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:55,751
‎還好嗎？

420
00:21:55,834 --> 00:22:00,209
‎我夢到阿亞圖拉何梅尼要吃掉我

421
00:22:00,293 --> 00:22:03,376
‎太可怕了，媽咪，他有一口大爛牙

422
00:22:04,251 --> 00:22:06,793
‎親愛的，何梅尼死了

423
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:08,168
‎他無法傷害你

424
00:22:08,834 --> 00:22:12,501
‎你很安全，爸媽都在這裡，好嗎？

425
00:22:13,334 --> 00:22:14,626
‎好

426
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,584
‎他只是作惡夢

427
00:22:17,668 --> 00:22:20,168
‎夢到被何梅尼生吞活剝

428
00:22:20,793 --> 00:22:21,834
‎什麼？

429
00:22:21,918 --> 00:22:24,126
‎他繼續睡了，沒關係

430
00:22:25,543 --> 00:22:28,001
‎可以跟妳談談嗎？

431
00:22:28,084 --> 00:22:28,918
‎好啊

432
00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:35,043
‎妳上個月跟歐萊恩
‎花了很長的時間討論

433
00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:38,501
‎要為聖誕老人烤什麼樣的餅乾

434
00:22:39,293 --> 00:22:43,126
‎對，他還相信聖誕老人存在
‎你不會覺得很高興嗎？超可愛的

435
00:22:43,209 --> 00:22:45,834
‎記得我們看過
‎那篇《大西洋》的文章，這是好事

436
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:47,418
‎對，但是…

437
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:54,376
‎今晚他作了惡夢
‎夢見被何梅尼生吞活剝？

438
00:22:55,293 --> 00:22:57,418
‎而他仍然相信聖誕老人存在

439
00:22:57,501 --> 00:23:00,876
‎他還說夢到何梅尼…這是兩個極端

440
00:23:01,793 --> 00:23:02,959
‎我不知道

441
00:23:03,043 --> 00:23:04,626
‎你比較想要哪一種情況？

442
00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:09,918
‎他不再相信聖誕老人存在
‎還是不會害怕何梅尼？

443
00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:10,876
‎我只是…

444
00:23:11,918 --> 00:23:15,709
‎覺得他不需要什麼都知道

445
00:23:16,418 --> 00:23:18,418
‎他快12歲了

446
00:23:18,501 --> 00:23:20,459
‎再過一年，他就會上網

447
00:23:20,543 --> 00:23:22,793
‎接觸到真實的世界

448
00:23:22,876 --> 00:23:26,626
‎如果他沒有心理準備，打擊會很大

449
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:29,001
‎我有黑人和波斯人血統

450
00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:31,751
‎我是雙方倖存者的後代

451
00:23:31,834 --> 00:23:33,751
‎不管你喜不喜歡
‎我們的兒子也是如此

452
00:23:34,459 --> 00:23:35,959
‎面對現實吧，愛爾蘭人

453
00:23:36,043 --> 00:23:38,001
‎有些人的世界跟你截然不同

454
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:39,834
‎天啊…

455
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,709
‎真精彩，雅絲敏

456
00:23:42,793 --> 00:23:45,251
‎真的很精彩，慷慨激昂

457
00:23:45,334 --> 00:23:49,084
‎說完這麼不客氣的話
‎妳怎能轉過身直接去睡覺

458
00:23:49,168 --> 00:23:50,626
‎怎麼回事？

459
00:23:51,834 --> 00:23:53,168
‎好，好吧

460
00:23:53,751 --> 00:23:55,626
‎還有一件事

461
00:23:55,709 --> 00:23:58,001
‎我很難啟齒

462
00:23:58,084 --> 00:24:01,626
‎但我的論文寫不完

463
00:24:01,709 --> 00:24:03,251
‎我想回去工作

464
00:24:03,334 --> 00:24:05,334
‎我得回職場，威爾

465
00:24:05,418 --> 00:24:10,334
‎我覺得我時時刻刻都思緒紊亂

466
00:24:10,418 --> 00:24:12,876
‎幾乎就像是我的大腦出了問題

467
00:24:12,959 --> 00:24:16,209
‎不曉得耶
‎我需要去做核磁共振顯影檢查嗎？

468
00:24:17,084 --> 00:24:21,126
‎我知道我最近
‎都把注意力放在歐萊恩身上

469
00:24:21,209 --> 00:24:25,543
‎我覺得我們都讓彼此無法喘息

470
00:24:25,626 --> 00:24:26,959
‎這樣好了…

471
00:24:27,043 --> 00:24:30,876
‎我要帶歐萊恩
‎去參加帕羅奧圖的研討會

472
00:24:32,084 --> 00:24:35,168
‎好嗎？那妳就可以獨處，寫寫東西

473
00:24:35,959 --> 00:24:39,126
‎但這樣行不通，要去一整個星期耶

474
00:24:39,209 --> 00:24:41,668
‎我是說，他六年級了，今年很重要

475
00:24:41,751 --> 00:24:45,168
‎會議是長週末，他大概只會缺課兩天

476
00:24:46,501 --> 00:24:47,584
‎怎麼樣？

477
00:24:47,668 --> 00:24:49,751
‎他會有一段時間不在我身邊

478
00:24:49,834 --> 00:24:51,543
‎他都還沒12歲耶

479
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:02,834
‎（請不要買雜牌的）

480
00:25:02,918 --> 00:25:05,501
‎（會卡在我的陰毛上，還會結塊）

481
00:25:29,168 --> 00:25:31,043
‎晚安，很抱歉打擾了

482
00:25:31,126 --> 00:25:32,501
‎妳要走了嗎？

483
00:25:32,584 --> 00:25:33,959
‎快了

484
00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:35,834
‎好極了，我可以停妳的位子嗎？

485
00:25:36,709 --> 00:25:37,668
‎好，可以

486
00:25:37,751 --> 00:25:38,834
‎太好了，謝謝

487
00:25:53,126 --> 00:25:53,959
‎好

488
00:25:54,043 --> 00:25:56,584
‎妳塞過了，妳的後車廂不夠大

489
00:25:58,084 --> 00:25:59,918
‎你知道還有什麼也不夠大？

490
00:26:00,876 --> 00:26:01,834
‎你的小老二

491
00:26:03,293 --> 00:26:04,834
‎妳到底有什麼毛病，女士？

492
00:26:04,918 --> 00:26:06,001
‎我不走了…

493
00:26:06,084 --> 00:26:06,918
‎真的嗎？

494
00:26:07,001 --> 00:26:08,168
‎還要好一會兒

495
00:26:09,626 --> 00:26:10,584
‎怎麼樣？

496
00:26:11,709 --> 00:26:12,668
‎-好吧
‎-快走

497
00:26:12,751 --> 00:26:14,001
‎享受跟衛生紙為伍的時光

498
00:26:57,084 --> 00:26:59,876
‎來介紹我媽媽雪花蛋霜的食譜

499
00:27:00,584 --> 00:27:01,751
‎不對，並不是這樣

500
00:27:01,834 --> 00:27:04,418
‎不是我媽媽的，因為我媽從來不下廚

501
00:27:05,584 --> 00:27:09,168
‎事實上，傳授廚藝
‎與人生大道理給我的是我爸

502
00:27:12,418 --> 00:27:15,251
‎製作完美的英式蛋奶醬是有祕訣的

503
00:27:16,043 --> 00:27:19,793
‎全脂牛奶要加熱至沸騰
‎再拌入晶粒砂糖

504
00:27:20,293 --> 00:27:24,668
‎但要等牛奶冷卻再加入香草豆

505
00:27:25,293 --> 00:27:26,501
‎照這個順序

506
00:27:26,584 --> 00:27:30,001
‎就可以去除香草豆本身的苦味

507
00:27:30,751 --> 00:27:32,709
‎下廚就跟生活一樣

508
00:27:32,793 --> 00:27:34,751
‎苦澀的感覺會破壞所有的甜蜜

509
00:29:32,334 --> 00:29:37,334
‎字幕翻譯：王靜怡