[gunshot]
-[gunshot] -[man shouts]
[voices speaking quietly]
[gunshot]
Ow!
-[typing] -[Justine] It occurred to her
that nothing she'd accepted as a reality was real.
Nothing.
Maybe there was no house, no husband, no child, no work.
None of it.
Just a giant hole in her heart.
Ah, no. No, no, no.
Giant hole in her chest.
Nah.
Giant hole in her eye.
A giant hole in her stomach.
A giant hole in her… butt.
A giant butthole.
I'm sorry. You're 55 cents short.
It's my friend's birthday. I'm just, you know…
Take these. $9.99.
Really?
They look exactly the same. Why are they so much cheaper?
Odorless.
Sorry, Mom.
[laughs]
-Anyways… -[phone dings]
…once she saw her hole, she knew she had to cover it
to make it seem like she didn't know
because she was scared that if the hole got too big,
she'd fall into the nothing.
Into the giant…
butthole.
[sighs]
Shit.
[typing]
[tapping]
[hand hits desk]
[classical piano music plays]
[music continues]
[in French] Martin, I'm going to the birthday.
I have a complete block today anyway.
I don't know what's happening to me, I can't do it.
[in French] Justine, you're not Simone de Beauvoir. You do cooking.
Do your recipes and everything will be fine.
I don't just cook, I'm a chef, you know, but…
They're asking me to do the impossible, a kind of diary with recipes. I…
How do you like my dress?
Uh…Ah…
The color?
[sighs]
I don't know, put your coat on. You can take it off when you're seated.
Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. I was going to put it on anyway.
Well, everything's ready for you for dinner tonight, so…
By the way, your zombie cat defecated in the bathtub again.
You know, Justine, I can't take it anymore, he's getting too old.
We're going to have to make a decision.
I'll clean it up, don't worry.
We're out of Greek yogurt. The fridge has been empty since yesterday.
Oh, I completely forgot to buy some.
-I'll buy some on my way back. -Thanks, baby.
[sighs]
[in English] You have one kidney, brain cancer.
Now it's in your spine. I mean, how do you keep on living?
What is wrong with you?
[cat purrs]
Huh?
-[cat meows] -I love you, too.
[women] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Yasmin ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Whoo!
-Make a wish. Come on. -Make a wish.
[cheering]
Here, give me that part.
Can I just say now that I'm turning 39…
Yeah, right.
-…give or take a few years. -A few years.
Seriously, I just wanna say
I am so grateful for every one of you.
God knows you can't choose your family,
but at least you can choose your friends.
And we've been through so much.
But I know no matter what happens, we've always had each other's backs,
and we always will.
-Aw! -We love you.
-To Yasmin. -To Yasmin.
Here's to the second half of your life.
May it be as glorious as the first.
[laughing]
-Isn't it more just one-third left? -Oh, my God.
-Unless she lives to be 100. Right?
First of all, if I live to be 90, which is entirely possible nowadays,
it's, you know, mid-40's more like half-- glass half full.
Girls, did anybody notice Yasmin's beautiful dress?
Oh.
Yes. An exclusive Annetta Porte.
The Yasmin, the first piece of my woman's collection.
It's stunning. You know I love your clothes.
Thank you.
So this super fucked-up thing happened
with Jerry and I last night.
Can we please not do super fucked up on my birthday?
I'm sorry, Yasmin. I shouldn't have said anything.
This is so good.
I mean, I work with Jerry. I need to know what happened.
-Oh, my God. -What happened?
Okay, fine. You know what? I'm slightly intrigued now anyway.
-Go ahead. -It's nothing big. Really. It's stupid.
It's just, uh, Jerry and I had dinner last night,
and I hadn't seen him in months,
and then he drove me home, back to my apartment.
-That's the fucked-up story? -Yeah. It's nothing.
-That's it? -Yeah.
Okay. [laughs]
-What happened? -Well…
I don't understand how I ended up with three children,
with three different dads,
and two of them don't have a pot to piss in.
-Right. -And it's just--
I don't even think Jason's ever paid taxes in his whole life, Jerry.
Well, you were crazy about him, you know.
You had to have him.
I know, but did I have to procreate with him,
like a hen on steroids?
'Cause that's what I've been doing my whole life. My whole life.
-It's either been about a man… -Yeah.
…or trying to get a man or trying to get away from the man.
And that's usually the guy that I was trying to get with,
like, six months before, and I just--
I wasted so much time, Jerry.
I wasted so much time, and I want that time back, Jerry.
I want it back. I mean,
I could've learned Mandarin or something.
[laughs] No, I hear you, you know. I…
It's just like-- Remember when L.A. Weekly raved
about that little expresso bar I decorated on Highland?
Well, yeah. I mean, but, you know, you're not really--
you're not really doing the interior design thing anymore.
You're focusing on social work, on giving back, right?
-No. -Yeah.
I'm focusing on social work
because nobody wants to hire me, Jerry.
Ell, I really wanted to give you that job,
but the investors insisted on hiring their own people.
I know. It's just that I'm freaking out, Jerry.
My bank account looks like a fucking piggy bank, okay?
I'm just--I'm freaking out.
Do I look like a raccoon?
Yeah, kind of.
[laughs, sniffles]
Ell, you know, I get it. I get it. I get it.
Here, let me--let me get-- Let me--
Oh, Ell, wait.
-[pants unzip] -No, no, no. [grunts]
Ell. Ell.
Okay. Okay.
-I'm sorry. -No, it's great.
I just--I don't know what came over me.
-It's okay. -[pants zip]
-It's good. -I'm gonna go now.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here. Here. You know, take it.
Take it for, you know, the…
Thank you.
Sorry.
Okay.
-Bye. -Bye.
Here, I'll get it. I'll get it.
Right here. Okay.
[Ell sighs]
[engine starts]
♪♪♪
He paid you for a blow job with a check?
-Eh… -Oh, my God, Ell.
I didn't know you were that poor.
Yeah, I'm really that poor.
-What? -This is so wrong.
If old friends are turning their friends into hookers,
I mean, we're doomed, right?
Say, maybe, you know, he paid you with a check.
It's sort of old-fashioned. It's kind of romantic.
-Romantic? -It's not.
It's insane. It's sex for money.
This is completely illegal in this country. Is it not?
Can we just table this for a second?
Just saying. Just for a second. Just for a second.
-Happy birthday. -Okay.
-Thank you. -Happy birthday.
How many of these have you-- Oh, do you want me to take that?
This is insane.
Ell, I'll lend you money.
-You don't have to do that. -Seriously.
-What about Rebecca? -She left him. It's done.
-Again? -Yeah.
He hasn't told anyone, so don't…
No. Okay. Okay. But how could you do this to him?
You know he has an addiction, right? Sex. Love.
-I know. -Why would you do that to him?
I know. I'm not proud-- Look, I was really depressed, okay?
And he was so heartbroken, and then one thing led to the next.
-Yes. Because he was depressed? -Yeah.
You blew him to make him feel better?
Did he go down on you to make you feel better?
Oh, God, no. Gross.
And that's not gross?
I mean, come on, that's-- What am I gonna do?
I work with him.
Just one thing. It's a blank check.
How much, in your opinion,
do you think is the proper amount?
♪♪♪
[kids shouting]
Shut the fuck up! You're being annoying.
You're supposed to be doing your homework!
I know you have a list of assignments!
Shut the fuck up, Kai! Oh, my God! Go back to your dad!
Do not say that to Kai! That is--Oh, wow. Wow.
That hurt so much. You're so strong. Wow.
Get…
So you keep the steamed vegetables with the roast
and then you add the mustard and the gros sel.
-Okay. -All right?
-I'll place an order for the Guerande. -Yes.
[phone playing tune]
Hey, Martin, how are you?
Well, no, I didn't pick him up, you know, Fridays can be a little…
It's very…
No, no, I'll go get him, I'll go get him.
No, no, I'll bring him to the restaurant, then.
You can come get him after dinner.
I'll feed him. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, no, no. Thanks. Well, not really.
You started back on Bill Clinton's campaign.
My God. You must have been just a kid.
Literally. I was 18.
-[laughs] -Politics has always been my calling.
My mom's practically a Black Panther.
My father's Iranian, Muslim. I have Latinx relatives.
Basically, if you've been banned or persecuted in this country,
-you're probably related to me. -Oh, God.
-Actually, yesterday was my birthday. -No way.
-Yesterday was your birthday? -Yeah.
-It was my birthday, too. -What?
-That is so weird. -Oh, my goodness.
It's you, me, Joan of Arc.
-Right. -Different years, of course.
Right.
Well, happy birthday.
-Happy birthday to you. -Thanks.
Actually, birthdays,
they're always a time of real self-reflection, right?
And I realized I have to get more involved, especially now.
That's why I'm so excited about this position.
Well, Yasmin, the truth is, if anything,
you're overqualified for this job.
[laughs] I mean, it's fundraising.
No. Not at all.
First of all, the part-time thing is perfect for my schedule.
And I took a few years off to focus on my son.
And, you know, he's in sixth grade now,
but I am so ready to jump back in.
Yasmin, can I be honest?
I also fear that you might find your coworkers to be a little…
juvenile.
♪♪♪
I see.
So, what was your son's name again?
Uh, Orion.
Like the constellation. I love that.
[exhales] Yeah. No.
Like the greatest hunter in Greek mythology.
-[exhales] -Are you okay?
[breathing heavily] Yes. I just--
I'm realizing I need to get back to my son now.
Okay. Uh, what's going on?
Are you having a heart attack?
God, I'm 46, not 96.
I'm having a panic attack.
[breathing heavily] Hi, honey.
Hi. I missed you. Are you okay?
[kisses] Are you okay?
I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?
I just--I had a bad feeling.
Ah.
-Why? -I don't know. I just--You know.
What are you working on?
Orion. Come on. You're gonna be late for karate.
-Coming. -Hi, Maria.
-Bye. -Have fun, honey.
Okay.
I wish he was that excited about schoolwork.
Hmm.
So, how was the interview?
[exhales]
First, can I just say thank you
for being the most amazing husband and father.
You're the best.
And I--
I didn't actually, um-- I didn't end up going, so…
Why?
You know, I-- I felt overqualified actually.
That's okay, because I want you to be happy.
-Mm-hmm. -Right?
I want Orion to get to know
the wonderful, independent woman I fell in love with.
Okay. Thank you for that.
Yeah.
Did you ever think, though,
what if this wonderful, independent woman
you fell in love with didn't want carrot?
Carrot.
Carrot cake? For her birthday.
Oh.
Oh. Uh, carrot.
I thought-- I thought carrot was your favorite.
Am I--Did I get that wrong?
I haven't touched gluten in months, Will.
Not that you would notice, you know.
I mean, you don't-- you don't ask me anything.
You don't-- You just assume, you know.
I mean, that's really--That's what's wrong with this relationship.
Uh, I wish that were the only thing.
What? The only thing that's wrong? Will.
-No. -Sorry. What are you saying?
Um, Yasmin,
you--you come home in a whirlwind of panic,
and it scares Orion sometimes.
Now you're telling me I scare my own child,
which is, like, basically the worst thing you could ever say to me.
Hey, hey, hey, all I'm saying is that sometimes it's too hard.
Too hard to what? Hard to love me?
Oh, my God, Will.
[door opens, closes]
♪♪♪
[in French] Repeat after me, Albert. "The house is small."
[in French] "The house is snail."
[phone playing tune]
-Yes? -[Martin] Are you with Albert right now?
Yes, I've just picked him up.
Take me off the speaker, please.
-So, they've celebrated… -Wait, wait.
-Yes? -They've celebrated the New Year
in school and they gave them candy. He can't have any at all.
But it's just a few. They're organic.
I don't give a damn about their belated New Year's party.
Halloween, Valetine's Day, they always have excuses to get them hooked on sugar.
Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. So… Hello?
[line beeping]
[in English] Why is Daddy always so angry at you?
He's not angry at me, sweetie. He's angry at sugar.
Why?
Because sugar's very bad for you, sweetie.
I mean, you can end up with diabetes.
What does diabetes do to you?
It can make you very sick and have-- Your toes can fall out.
Isn't that leprosy?
-Okay, just give me the candy. -But, Mom--
Albert, just give me the two bags.
Diabetes makes your toes fall off, too.
Fine. Fine.
Sir. Hi. Happy New Year.
They're organic.
The world is fucked.
Is the world really fucked, Mom?
No. I mean, it's--I mean, yes, it is.
No, it's not. It's not. Not for us.
Why not for us?
Well, because we're the happy ones, lucky ones
that live together as a family
and we eat healthy food every day, you know.
The poor homeless, they don't have a kitchen.
They can't cook.
Well, that's why we're gonna distribute meals
at a homeless shelter next month.
The school says that we need to be agents of change in the world.
Isn't that a bit dangerous for a school trip?
I mean, homeless people are crazy now.
I mean, they're angry, not crazy.
They're angry. I mean, this one was angry and crazy.
Mom, please make sure you don't say that in front of anyone at my school.
Okay.
Oh. Next week at school, we're gonna practice for the drill,
so you know what to do in case there's an earthquake,
fire, a human-made emergency.
What's that?
You know. Like… [imitating gunshots]
Okay. Stop, stop, stop. Get--Just eat candy.
Just--Just don't tell your dad.
Just eat the-the-the chocolate ones.
Thank you, Mom.
[exhales]
Mom, do you think if John Lennon had not been shot,
the world would be a better place?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe.
I think it would.
♪♪♪
My tags say, "Made in L.A. fair and safe."
Okay, I cannot have children making children's clothes.
Should I put, "Made for children by children" on the label?
Catchy. But she's over 20.
Is she?
[in Mandarin]
See?
-She's 28? -Mm-hmm.
Well, I really can't even tell if it's her.
I'm sure it's a bad picture.
It's fine. It's totally fine. Totally fine.
-Okay. -Okay.
[playing tune]
Hey, Yas. Can I call you back?
-I think Will might be leaving me. -What?
What am I supposed to do? Rent an apartment?
Oh, no.
No one wants a terrorist in their building.
-What? -Everyone knows
all Muslims are terrorists.
Oh, honey.
I don't even have any money of my own.
I just--You know what?
I'm just-- I'm gonna go walk to the ocean.
Just be at the beach, be in nature.
I don't know. Something bigger than all of this shit.
I'll come--I'll come-- I'll come meet you, okay? Wait.
I can't live like this anymore.
Yasmin?
I can't live like this anymore.
What do you mean? You have so much to live for.
It's too late.
Too late? You're 30 years old.
I'm 27.
Exactly.
No, but, I mean, I just--
I feel like something really bad is gonna happen.
Like, in the world.
Honey, you're beautiful. You're smart.
You're fucked up. You're gonna be fine.
I swear.
-You don't even know me. -I know, but I like you already.
Guys. Guys.
-Guys! -What?
I just made out with this guy, and I think that he was toothless.
-[laughing] -What?
[laughing]
He had no teeth.
-I just bit my tongue. -Toothless.
It's so weird. It's true. It's so weird.
I'm trying to save somebody here.
-Shh. -What, babe?
Don't jump.
-What? -Don't jump.
Jump? I'm trying to light my cigarette. I just…
You guys--What?
-Seriously, you guys. -What?
-Seriously,
I think something really bad is gonna happen in the world.
-But, no, I mean, like, worse than Y2K. -No.
-Wow. -Worse than if George W. Bush wins.
[laughing]
-Where are you getting this stuff? -Seriously.
She's really cool.
I think we're gonna be best friends. I do.
-What's your name again? -You don't remember my name?
-Shaharzan. Shaharzan. -No.
-No? -It's Yasmin.
Come on. Let's get a drink. Come on.
Let's go. Come on.
The 21st century warriors. Let's go!
[dance music playing]
Yasmin?
-[line clicks, beeps] -Yasmin?
-[dialing] -[line ringing]
Hi. This is Yasmin. Please leave a message.
[phone beeps]
Oh, my God.
Gretchen, I really need you to watch Sebastian, okay?
Yeah, I already did 35 hours for this week, Anne. You know that.
Yasmin needs me.
How about I give you an extra $40 this week, okay?
It's not just about the money, Anne.
It's about my quality of life.
Okay. 45.
I'll give you 75. Okay?
-Yeah. -Okay. Thank you so much.
Appreciate it. Okay. Bye, sweetie.
Bye, Mommy.
[upbeat music playing]
[Jerry] I didn't do anything. I was just sitting there.
Yeah, and--and her head fell in your lap
and then it slipped in her mouth?
No. She deliberately gave me…
a banana job.
Ha.
She was crying. She was lonely.
She was drunk.
Even better. And then you paid her for it.
What?
I didn't pay her for a banana.
I gave her a check to help her out.
You know, Jerry, this is not a good moment in time for this.
People go to jail now.
Justine.
This is a struggle for me…
with my situation.
I cried afterwards.
This is--This is a disease, for Christ's sake.
I know, Jerry, but even a friend?
Especially friends. Yes. Even a friend. It's that bad.
But I'm a friend.
Yeah, but you're, you know--
uh, you have a beautiful family, you know.
Okay, can we switch gears for a second?
Let's--Let's, uh--
Let's talk about the book. How's that coming along?
It's, uh, going great.
So all they're looking for is something French and charming
with a little bit of you thrown in.
And if you want, Evan can take over the kitchen for a few days a week.
Oh, no, he can't do that.
Yes, he can. Just until you finish the first draft.
No. The restaurant will fall apart without me.
-No, it won't. -Jerry, you--
-No, it won't. No, it won't. -Jerry…
Ooh.
Are you okay?
Yeah. No.
Because my acid reflux is kicking in.
This conversation made me very nervous.
-About the book? -No, not about the book.
Aren't you supposed to take only two?
My doctor says I'm good for up to 30 a day.
Oh.
Justine, as my friend,
can--can you, uh, just keep your mouth shut about this?
Yes, I think it's best
we all keep our mouths shut around you.
[laughs] That's funny.
Mm-hmm. Very.
[Jerry] Okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. The kittens. Don't touch.
-[phone playing tune] -Don't ever do that again.
[Justine] Hey, what's going on?
Justine, will you meet me at the beach?
Why?
Yasmin is going there, and she just sounds worse than usual.
You know, like very, very stressed.
-Really? -Oh, shit.
And now her phone's off.
But I'm at work.
Your restaurant is five minutes from the beach. Come on.
Okay, but how am I gonna find her?
She'll probably be around the playground. Just look for her.
Okay, I'll leave Albert at the restaurant and meet you there.
Thank you.
[phone playing tune]
Hello.
-[Anne] Hey, Ell, it's me. -Hi.
-Yasmin is having a crisis. -What do you mean?
She turned off her phone.
Well, if she turned off her phone,
she probably just wants to be alone.
She's going to the beach. Okay, we need to find her.
-What? -Justine's already on her way over there.
What do you mean, Justine's on her way over there?
She needs us, Ell. Come on.
Okay, okay.
Sarah, sweetheart, I need you to babysit your brothers.
I have an emergency.
-I don't need a babysitter. -Me neither!
Yes, you do.
You better pay me well.
Really?
-[door closes] -Yeah!
Don't do anything stupid. I have no responsibility over you.
♪♪♪
[sighs]
Oh, God. I've been looking everywhere for you.
-I'm sorry, honey. -Why didn't you pick up your phone?
My battery died.
Thanks for coming to find me.
Of course.
Anne, I'm so confused lately.
I just--
I feel like…
I made this decision to be with Will when I was 25,
and now it's colored the entire rest of my life.
I mean, no pun intended.
But I live in a completely white world.
-No offense. -It's okay.
But, you know, I'm Black. I'm Persian.
I'm an out-of-work feminist
whose husband pays for her laser hair removal.
Who the fuck am I? You know.
You are a Black, Persian feminist who married a white guy
who's possibly on the spectrum, and you are my best friend.
And you're mine.
But I gotta tell you,
sometimes I don't call you, Anne, because you're high all the time.
Call me before noon.
Oh, my gosh. You're so…
Wait. Are you high right now?
No. [laughs]
-Anne. -The sun is going down.
Oh, my God.
She texted me "south of the police station."
Well, this whole beach is south of the police station.
Oh, man.
I'm kind of excited.
I feel like I'm a superhero on a mission
to rescue someone. You know?
[laughs]
Can you imagine a movie, a superhero movie,
with the protagonist being this middle-aged woman?
She puts on--At night, she puts on, like, a Lycra costume.
Spanx. With Spanx.
And then she goes and rescues another middle-aged woman
about to have a breakdown.
Oh, my God. That could be a hit.
[sighs] I have to go back in 20 minutes at the restaurant.
I mean, if Martin finds out that I left Albert there by himself, I'm…
Why? He loves it there.
All the pretty waitresses flirt with him.
Albert is like a fish in water at the restaurant.
You know what? I spoke to Jerry,
and he told me that the check and the blow job
are completely unrelated.
So why did you make this up?
I blew him because I'm lonely,
and he wrote me a check because I'm broke.
So there you have it.
Well, yeah. Keep the "check for the blow job," you know, story.
It's much less depressing.
-Yeah. -Stick to that one.
-My life's depress-- -Oh, it's them.
-Where? -There!
-Yeah. It's them. -What are they doing?
Are they hugging? Are they making out? Ugh!
-I'm so glad you're recovered. -Oh, my God! Hi!
I'm fine. I'm fine.
You know how you have one of those days,
and it just feels like everything is collapsing all around you?
And then all of a sudden, it's just fine again.
Guys, do you love me?
What?
I mean, friends never ask friends, "Do you love me?"
Okay, I just dropped my kids.
I left them home alone to come and find you.
-I know. -We would drop everything
to come and find you.
I think we might just have to prove it to her, girls.
-Uh-huh. -You ready?
-No. -Yes.
-No. -One, two, three!
[squealing]
-[Yasmin] Oh, my God! -[kissing]
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
-You'll love me to death. -I thought we were gonna kill you.
Did you like that?
No.
[birds squawking]
[Justine] Look at those birds all lined up.
Every morning I hear them sing.
And really I believe that they believe
that their song is making the sun rise.
You know? It's like everything and everyone
needs to find a purpose to their existence.
Even if it's complete bullshit.
[laughs] Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah. That's really beautiful.
[Anne] This is one of those perfect moments in life.
[Yasmine] Amazing.
[Ell] Yeah. Look at it.
[Justine] Gorgeous.
[Yasmin] Oh.
[all laughing]
[birds squawking]
[in French] How are you, kiddo?
Did you celebrate New Year's at school?
-[in French] Yes. -Did you eat the candy they gave you?
No.
Mommy didn't… give you any candy? She didn't feed you candy?
Okay.
And how are you? Do you miss your mom? She's been working a lot lately.
-No, I'm fine. -You're okay?
Yes.
What is it? Satie?
[Justine, in English] So if the hole, the nothing,
is actually everywhere,
how do you manage not to fall into it?
That said, let's go back to our recipe.
Once the roast is cooked, you can start on the mushroom gravy
by adding a touch of soda water and Maizena.
Don't forget to scrape the brown bits vigorously.
The darker the bits, the more flavor it will give.
♪♪♪