1
00:00:04,233 --> 00:00:05,526
Dad!

2
00:00:06,610 --> 00:00:08,029
Yeah.

3
00:00:08,779 --> 00:00:12,450
Who has two thumbs
and just got her learner's permit?

4
00:00:12,533 --> 00:00:13,534
This guy.

5
00:00:13,617 --> 00:00:15,453
Oh!

6
00:00:15,536 --> 00:00:17,663
Oh! Katie...

7
00:00:17,747 --> 00:00:19,123
Oh, I'm so proud of you.

8
00:00:19,206 --> 00:00:23,043
That's right. She passed her written test
at the DMV and can now practice driving.

9
00:00:23,127 --> 00:00:25,296
The citizens of Pittsburgh
are trembling in fear.

10
00:00:27,173 --> 00:00:29,592
-They should be. I barely passed.
-Ah.

11
00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:31,594
This is gonna be so great.

12
00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:33,929
Once she gets her license,
she can run errands,

13
00:00:34,013 --> 00:00:35,681
and pick up dinner and-- [gasps]

14
00:00:35,765 --> 00:00:38,601
I'm gonna delete Postmates
because we made our own. Huh.

15
00:00:40,519 --> 00:00:41,687
She's a Postkate.

16
00:00:42,646 --> 00:00:44,690
Well, hold on, hold on.
You forgot the best part.

17
00:00:44,774 --> 00:00:48,486
Not only can she drive our food,
she can drive our other kids.

18
00:00:48,569 --> 00:00:50,029
[Andi gasps]

19
00:00:50,112 --> 00:00:53,032
Yeah, your days
of running them around town are over.

20
00:00:53,115 --> 00:00:55,242
If this works, I say we have more kids.

21
00:00:57,036 --> 00:00:59,497
Hold on.
I still have to pass my road test.

22
00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:03,417
Not a problem.
We Burns have driving in our blood.

23
00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:07,296
I have waited a long time for this, Katie.
Come on. Let's go have some fun.

24
00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:12,635
That was the worst hour of my life.

25
00:01:15,513 --> 00:01:16,514
What happened to the mirror?

26
00:01:16,597 --> 00:01:19,225
I was looking for something to hold onto.

27
00:01:20,976 --> 00:01:22,436
She wasn't using it anyway.

28
00:01:24,063 --> 00:01:26,398
[theme music playing]

29
00:01:32,947 --> 00:01:34,281
When you invited us over
to watch the game,

30
00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:36,450
I assumed we'd be doing it
in your living room.

31
00:01:36,534 --> 00:01:38,786
Or at least a place with less spiders. Ah!

32
00:01:40,788 --> 00:01:42,957
We're out here because I'm dodging Andi.

33
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,377
She wants me to take Katie driving again,
and I need time to recuperate.

34
00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:49,547
My ankle still hurts
from stomping on the imaginary brake.

35
00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:52,341
I'm cool with hiding.
I need to lay low anyway.

36
00:01:52,424 --> 00:01:53,717
Marcy's mad at yours truly.

37
00:01:53,801 --> 00:01:56,679
Is it because you refer to yourself
as "yours truly"?

38
00:01:57,596 --> 00:02:00,474
She says I've gotten complacent
and I don't romance her anymore.

39
00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:01,725
What does that even mean?

40
00:02:01,809 --> 00:02:04,854
Maybe you've gotten complacent
and don't romance her anymore.

41
00:02:04,937 --> 00:02:07,439
Oh. You know, it makes sense
when a man says it.

42
00:02:08,983 --> 00:02:10,818
You know, when I really want
to romance a woman,

43
00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:14,655
I cook her a gourmet dinner
with my special handmade gnocchi. Mm.

44
00:02:14,738 --> 00:02:17,867
But Marcy cooks dinner.
If I cook it, there'll be two dinners.

45
00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:19,410
[Andi] Adam?

46
00:02:19,493 --> 00:02:20,870
Shh. Shh.

47
00:02:23,539 --> 00:02:25,416
-Are you hiding out here?
-What--

48
00:02:25,499 --> 00:02:27,626
Your daughter is waiting
for her driving lesson.

49
00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:30,129
I would love to take her,
but I have guests.

50
00:02:30,212 --> 00:02:31,589
Can we talk outside?

51
00:02:31,672 --> 00:02:32,715
Yeah, yeah.

52
00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:35,134
Why not let the neighbors hear it?

53
00:02:36,802 --> 00:02:39,346
You said you wanted to teach Kate
how to drive,

54
00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:41,015
but now, you're just avoiding her.

55
00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:45,311
Hey, Andi! If Marcy asks,
you never saw me. Thanks, doll.

56
00:02:47,563 --> 00:02:48,772
Katie is not ready, Andi.

57
00:02:48,856 --> 00:02:52,693
There was a left-hand turn where we went
all the way around in a circle.

58
00:02:52,776 --> 00:02:54,028
Like <i>Mario Kart.</i>

59
00:02:54,862 --> 00:02:58,657
That's why you're teaching her.
Look, Adam, I need Kate to drive.

60
00:02:58,741 --> 00:03:01,035
-[sighs]
-I just signed Teddy up for club soccer.

61
00:03:01,118 --> 00:03:03,621
It's an hour away. I can't do it.

62
00:03:04,246 --> 00:03:07,625
-I'm sorry, but 16 is too young to drive.
-Oh.

63
00:03:07,708 --> 00:03:10,085
Sixteen-year-olds can't vote,
they can't drink,

64
00:03:10,169 --> 00:03:12,046
they can't see movies with boobs.

65
00:03:12,129 --> 00:03:14,673
How does it make sense
that they can drive to a movie with boobs,

66
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:16,842
but can't go in? [scoffs]

67
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:21,055
Look, if you won't get behind the wheel
with Kate, I'll teach her.

68
00:03:21,764 --> 00:03:23,015
I'm a better driver than you anyway.

69
00:03:23,098 --> 00:03:24,099
[gasps]

70
00:03:25,726 --> 00:03:29,188
Now, Katie, I don't want what happened
last time to happen again.

71
00:03:29,271 --> 00:03:30,689
You mean all your yelling?

72
00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:34,944
I only yelled one time.
It just lasted the whole drive.

73
00:03:35,945 --> 00:03:39,365
Today, we're gonna try a point system.
You start with a hundred points.

74
00:03:39,448 --> 00:03:41,492
If you do something wrong,
you lose points.

75
00:03:41,575 --> 00:03:44,745
When you get to zero, we are done driving
until the next day. Hmm?

76
00:03:45,704 --> 00:03:48,999
-Sounds fair.
-Okay. Uhp-uhp, hold on, hold up, hold up.

77
00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:50,167
Remember what I taught you?

78
00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:52,878
What's the first thing you do
before you start the vehicle?

79
00:03:53,629 --> 00:03:54,838
You check your...

80
00:03:54,922 --> 00:03:56,757
-Text messages.
-[sighs]

81
00:03:57,383 --> 00:03:59,051
So you're not tempted
while you're driving.

82
00:03:59,134 --> 00:04:01,053
No, no, no. No, no texting.

83
00:04:01,887 --> 00:04:03,097
Minus 20 points.

84
00:04:03,806 --> 00:04:05,599
No, you check your mirrors.

85
00:04:06,558 --> 00:04:07,559
-Got it.
-Mm.

86
00:04:07,643 --> 00:04:09,436
[chuckles] Cute, cute.

87
00:04:10,479 --> 00:04:11,563
Cute.

88
00:04:12,398 --> 00:04:13,399
[Adam chuckles]

89
00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:15,776
[muttering]

90
00:04:15,859 --> 00:04:17,778
Okay, uh, put your hands on the wheel.

91
00:04:18,946 --> 00:04:20,531
-[exhales]
-Both hands. You're not a pimp.

92
00:04:20,614 --> 00:04:23,075
[scoffs] That's how you do it.

93
00:04:23,158 --> 00:04:26,954
Minus 30 for being funny in the car.
This is a serious place.

94
00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:29,707
Now put your hands
at 10:00 and 2:00, like a clock.

95
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:32,543
No one uses clocks anymore.
What would it be on a phone?

96
00:04:33,544 --> 00:04:35,879
Minus 50 for not understanding clocks.
You're out of points.

97
00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:38,924
[scoffs] We didn't even leave
the driveway.

98
00:04:39,008 --> 00:04:42,136
Right. I'll text the neighbors
and let them know it's safe to go outside.

99
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,681
[sighs]

100
00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:49,601
So, I was just talking to Kate.

101
00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:51,562
You guys have been driving
every day for two weeks

102
00:04:51,645 --> 00:04:54,273
and she thinks she's ready
for her DMV road test.

103
00:04:54,356 --> 00:04:56,817
No, she's not ready. I told you.

104
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,862
Yesterday, she got out of the car
before she put it in park.

105
00:04:59,945 --> 00:05:02,031
I had to Fred Flintstone it to a stop.

106
00:05:03,282 --> 00:05:06,201
Just take her to the test. I don't want
to go back in the garage with the spiders.

107
00:05:06,285 --> 00:05:08,579
I squashed one
and the others are out for revenge.

108
00:05:08,662 --> 00:05:10,247
They saw me kill their friend.

109
00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:14,376
I love Katie, but I don't think
she'll ever be a good driver.

110
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:19,173
You promised me that my days
of running the kids around town were over.

111
00:05:19,256 --> 00:05:22,468
But here I am,
going to pick up Teddy at soccer,

112
00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:24,303
which is basically in Canada.

113
00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:27,222
Book the test.

114
00:05:28,182 --> 00:05:30,601
[sighs] What am I gonna do?

115
00:05:30,684 --> 00:05:34,063
I don't think Katie will pass,
but I'm tired of being the bad guy.

116
00:05:34,146 --> 00:05:38,150
So let the DMV be the bad guy.
If she's not ready, no license.

117
00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:42,196
I like it. The state of Pennsylvania
will do my dirty work for me.

118
00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:44,198
[chuckles] This is why I pay taxes.

119
00:05:44,281 --> 00:05:47,826
Well, I was going to suggest
telling Kate honestly how you feel,

120
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,787
but I forgot I was with this family.

121
00:05:52,372 --> 00:05:54,333
The game started an hour ago.
Where you been?

122
00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:56,001
Getting yelled at by Marcy.

123
00:05:56,085 --> 00:05:57,503
She's still mad at you?

124
00:05:57,586 --> 00:06:01,006
No, she's mad at me again.
I didn't pick her up from exercise class.

125
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,050
You forgot to pick up your own wife?

126
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:04,885
I didn't forget.

127
00:06:04,968 --> 00:06:06,970
It was raining,
and I had just gotten the car washed.

128
00:06:08,305 --> 00:06:09,348
Oh, Donald.

129
00:06:10,516 --> 00:06:12,101
And now she says
I'm cut off in the bedroom

130
00:06:12,184 --> 00:06:14,436
until I learn how to be more
romantic and thoughtful.

131
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,522
So you'll never have sex again.

132
00:06:17,397 --> 00:06:18,565
Can't say I'm gonna miss the stories.

133
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,610
Maybe there's a way to fix this.

134
00:06:21,693 --> 00:06:24,029
Lowell, show me how to make
your magic nookie dinner.

135
00:06:24,113 --> 00:06:26,365
It's pronounced "gnocchi."

136
00:06:27,491 --> 00:06:28,909
I'm not hearing the difference.

137
00:06:32,788 --> 00:06:35,749
Hi. Uh, my daughter's here
to take her road test.

138
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:37,084
Here's my ID.

139
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:40,129
Adam Burns, parent/legal guardian.

140
00:06:40,212 --> 00:06:41,797
[chuckles]

141
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:46,051
Arthur, DMV clerk/hedge fund playboy.

142
00:06:50,681 --> 00:06:51,974
Everything's in order.

143
00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:55,060
Take these forms to window 12
for your road test.

144
00:06:55,144 --> 00:06:56,353
Thanks.

145
00:06:57,229 --> 00:06:58,230
I'm kind of nervous.

146
00:06:58,313 --> 00:07:00,232
Well, I'm sure you'll do great, honey.

147
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,694
And if you don't, that's the state
of Pennsylvania talking. Not me.

148
00:07:04,486 --> 00:07:07,239
Okay? All right, now go get 'em. Come on.

149
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,743
-Uh--
-Whoopsie-doodle.

150
00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:14,788
I'm afraid your license
expired three months ago.

151
00:07:14,872 --> 00:07:19,042
What? Okay, uh, so how do I fix that?
I sign a form or...

152
00:07:19,126 --> 00:07:21,628
Since you let it expire,

153
00:07:21,712 --> 00:07:24,548
you have to take the written test
before it can be renewed.

154
00:07:24,631 --> 00:07:26,175
-[sighs]
-Here's your number.

155
00:07:26,258 --> 00:07:27,843
Wait to be called. Next!

156
00:07:27,926 --> 00:07:29,678
Uh, uh, hold on, hold on.

157
00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:33,974
So, if I had caught this before it
expired, I wouldn't have to take the test?

158
00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:35,809
Correct. Next.

159
00:07:35,893 --> 00:07:37,519
Uh-- You stay.

160
00:07:39,062 --> 00:07:40,981
Can't we just do something
with this license?

161
00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:43,275
You know, like, slap a sticker on it or...

162
00:07:43,358 --> 00:07:45,903
Actually, yes,
there is something we can do.

163
00:07:45,986 --> 00:07:47,821
Thank you. [chuckles]

164
00:07:47,905 --> 00:07:49,490
Ooh. What's that? Sticker machine?

165
00:07:49,573 --> 00:07:51,658
[whirring]

166
00:08:03,712 --> 00:08:05,631
This is why
no one likes coming here, Arthur.

167
00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:12,554
[automated voice] <i>Now serving number 42.</i>

168
00:08:12,638 --> 00:08:13,805
[scoffs] Finally.

169
00:08:23,357 --> 00:08:25,859
You made me wait a half an hour
just to talk to you again?

170
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:29,321
It's not a job if you love what you do.

171
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:34,576
The written driver's test
is on the tablet.

172
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:38,288
If you get three wrong, you fail
and have to wait a week to retake it.

173
00:08:38,872 --> 00:08:39,998
Not a problem.

174
00:08:40,082 --> 00:08:42,084
When I get the high score,
can I put my initials in?

175
00:08:43,544 --> 00:08:44,878
No.

176
00:08:44,962 --> 00:08:46,964
-That was a joke.
-No, it wasn't.

177
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:51,343
-I'm just gonna take the test now, Arthur.
-Mm-hmm.

178
00:08:51,426 --> 00:08:53,387
And, yes,
I will be taking the survey after.

179
00:08:56,515 --> 00:08:59,101
-Uh, B. Stop sign.
-[tablet chimes]

180
00:09:00,769 --> 00:09:02,938
-Uh, C. No passing zone.
-[tablet chimes]

181
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,733
-Uh, D. Emergency vehicles only.
-[tablet chimes]

182
00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:10,112
[chuckles] Chime city over here, Arthur.

183
00:09:12,823 --> 00:09:14,866
I'm so good, I don't even have to look.

184
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:15,951
[buzzer sounds]

185
00:09:19,079 --> 00:09:21,832
Okay, I got cocky. Let's focus.
[clears throat]

186
00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:25,919
-[buzzer sounds]
-Uh...

187
00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:29,423
Look, I meant to push B.
My fingers are swollen.

188
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:32,426
I'm retaining water
'cause I had a salty lunch.

189
00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:37,306
One more wrong answer and you fail.
No pressure.

190
00:09:47,566 --> 00:09:51,903
"A white painted curb indicates:
A, passengers and mail only."

191
00:09:52,529 --> 00:09:54,781
That's too specific. Eh...

192
00:09:54,865 --> 00:09:56,867
"B, service dogs only."

193
00:09:57,826 --> 00:09:59,119
Nice try, Arthur.

194
00:10:00,495 --> 00:10:04,124
So, by process of elimination,
it's "C, freight only."

195
00:10:04,207 --> 00:10:05,709
Uh, final answer.

196
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:07,419
-[buzzer sounds]
-[automated voice] <i>Fail.</i>

197
00:10:07,502 --> 00:10:09,129
Whoopsie-doodle.

198
00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:12,549
I passed! [laughs]

199
00:10:16,511 --> 00:10:18,680
Now we can both drive.

200
00:10:22,059 --> 00:10:23,060
What happened?

201
00:10:23,935 --> 00:10:26,438
Your dad has a fun surprise for you.

202
00:10:31,026 --> 00:10:36,573
So Kate got her license
and you lost yours.

203
00:10:40,202 --> 00:10:41,203
It isn't funny.

204
00:10:43,372 --> 00:10:45,165
I'm sorry. Can I get you a beer?

205
00:10:45,248 --> 00:10:46,667
I would love one.

206
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,210
I'm gonna need to see some ID.

207
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:53,590
-Where's Katie?
-Oh, she went for a drive.

208
00:10:55,884 --> 00:10:57,969
You just let her leave
in the car by herself?

209
00:10:58,053 --> 00:11:00,931
Yes, she has a license.

210
00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:03,725
But we have no idea where she is.

211
00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:07,187
What? Our daughter could be anywhere
in this city right now

212
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:09,147
and you seem perfectly comfortable
with that.

213
00:11:09,231 --> 00:11:11,400
-Because I trust her.
-[groans]

214
00:11:11,483 --> 00:11:13,902
And also because I put
a tracking app on her phone.

215
00:11:15,779 --> 00:11:18,865
See, look, she's fine.
She's at the Whitestone Overlook.

216
00:11:19,658 --> 00:11:21,118
That's make-out point!

217
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,121
Okay, Fonzie.

218
00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,040
People go up there for other reasons.

219
00:11:27,124 --> 00:11:29,835
Yeah, to murder teenagers
who are making out.

220
00:11:31,336 --> 00:11:34,172
-I'm going up there to check on her.
-You're not allowed to drive.

221
00:11:34,256 --> 00:11:36,174
[grunts] Then, uh, you take me.

222
00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:37,592
No.

223
00:11:38,176 --> 00:11:40,554
I am not gonna be part of your craziness.

224
00:11:40,637 --> 00:11:43,473
Kate is fine.
She just wanted to go for a drive.

225
00:11:43,557 --> 00:11:45,434
That's what people do
when they get their license.

226
00:11:47,394 --> 00:11:49,604
I'm sure you'll want to do the same
when you get yours.

227
00:11:55,402 --> 00:11:56,903
Read the room, Andi.

228
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:03,326
I did. Half the room thinks it's funny.

229
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,453
[laughing]

230
00:12:07,456 --> 00:12:09,666
Thanks for coming.
I really wanna knock Marcy's socks off,

231
00:12:09,749 --> 00:12:12,794
-and hopefully, the rest of her clothes.
-Is she home?

232
00:12:12,878 --> 00:12:14,504
No, I told her to take a hike.

233
00:12:15,589 --> 00:12:17,340
And she says you don't romance her.

234
00:12:18,216 --> 00:12:21,386
Okay, here's the recipe:
shrimp scampi with handmade gnocchi.

235
00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,430
It works every time.

236
00:12:23,513 --> 00:12:25,474
The only downside is
I've gained six pounds

237
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:27,267
and no longer feel comfortable naked.

238
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:31,605
I can't do this. This is cooking.
Lowell, you have to do it for me.

239
00:12:31,688 --> 00:12:33,398
That's not the way it works.

240
00:12:33,482 --> 00:12:35,484
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day.

241
00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:38,278
Teach a man to fish
and he eats for a lifetime.

242
00:12:38,361 --> 00:12:42,365
But I only want to eat for a day.
Give me my fish, Lowell.

243
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:48,288
-Aha!
-[screams] Dad!

244
00:12:48,371 --> 00:12:50,999
What are you doing here?

245
00:12:51,082 --> 00:12:54,794
What are you doing here?
Did you know this is make-out point?

246
00:12:54,878 --> 00:12:58,548
All the teen moms in Pittsburgh
get their start right here.

247
00:12:59,966 --> 00:13:01,968
No, I just wanted to go for a drive.

248
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:05,680
Well, you need to go home right now
because I'll tell you something, Katie,

249
00:13:05,764 --> 00:13:06,973
you're not ready for this.

250
00:13:07,057 --> 00:13:08,850
-For what?
-The world.

251
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:11,269
You are too young and too naive.

252
00:13:11,353 --> 00:13:13,772
In fact, you're grounded.

253
00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:17,108
Why? 'Cause I passed my driver's test?

254
00:13:17,192 --> 00:13:22,364
Yes! No, no. It's because you don't
understand how dangerous the world is.

255
00:13:22,447 --> 00:13:24,658
There could be a crazy man up here.

256
00:13:25,242 --> 00:13:26,826
I think there is.

257
00:13:29,037 --> 00:13:32,332
You never used to talk to me like that.
This license has changed you.

258
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:38,171
I'm crazy? She's crazy.
She won't listen to me.

259
00:13:38,255 --> 00:13:39,673
Minus a hundred points.

260
00:13:39,756 --> 00:13:41,466
[siren wails]

261
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:44,344
Ugh, of course.

262
00:13:49,099 --> 00:13:51,226
-Evening, sir.
-Can I help you, Officer?

263
00:13:51,309 --> 00:13:55,480
I couldn't help but notice
you leaving make-out point alone and old.

264
00:13:57,399 --> 00:14:00,068
All right, no need
to hurt people's feelings here.

265
00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:03,363
We just want to keep things safe
for the kids. License, please.

266
00:14:04,447 --> 00:14:05,574
Sure. Yeah.

267
00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:13,790
Step out of the car, sir.

268
00:14:18,169 --> 00:14:20,171
Oh, good, the crazy vigilante is home.

269
00:14:22,424 --> 00:14:26,052
A dad's got to do what a dad's got to do.
Sometimes you have to be the bad guy.

270
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:31,516
Look, Kate is upstairs, very upset.
Okay, you grounded her for no reason.

271
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,393
I had reasons. I had good reasons.

272
00:14:34,978 --> 00:14:36,354
Oh, really? Like what?

273
00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:39,691
Like she's not ready.
A car lets you leave, and I'm not ready.

274
00:14:42,861 --> 00:14:46,323
Wait. She's not ready,
or you're not ready?

275
00:14:46,406 --> 00:14:49,576
Whatever. Somebody isn't ready,
so nobody leaves.

276
00:14:49,659 --> 00:14:52,078
Nobody leaves until everybody's ready!

277
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:57,667
[sighs] Honey, do you remember
when Kate was 12,

278
00:14:57,751 --> 00:15:00,503
and we decided that she was old enough
to go to the mall by herself,

279
00:15:00,587 --> 00:15:03,548
so I'd drop her off with her friends
and then secretly follow her around?

280
00:15:03,632 --> 00:15:06,509
Yeah, I remember you army crawling
through the food court.

281
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:09,137
Yeah. That was me freaking out

282
00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:11,890
because I didn't think our baby
was ready to go out into the world alone.

283
00:15:12,974 --> 00:15:15,143
Then one day,
she caught me riding the carousel

284
00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:16,895
with a pair of binoculars around my neck.

285
00:15:19,439 --> 00:15:23,026
That's when I realized
that I was the one who wasn't ready.

286
00:15:25,028 --> 00:15:26,696
Oh, so this is your fault, I like that.

287
00:15:29,699 --> 00:15:32,869
No, I'm saying we need to be ready.

288
00:15:32,953 --> 00:15:35,163
[sighs] But what if I'm not?

289
00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:39,876
Sweetie, Kate was fine back then
and she's fine now.

290
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,086
[sighs]

291
00:15:41,169 --> 00:15:43,296
But I got to be honest,
you are right in the middle

292
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:45,674
of spoiling one of the biggest moments
of her life.

293
00:15:52,514 --> 00:15:54,891
Go ahead. You can say it.

294
00:16:00,146 --> 00:16:01,773
-You're right.
-I know.

295
00:16:06,194 --> 00:16:07,320
[car door closes]

296
00:16:08,530 --> 00:16:10,782
-Marcy's home early. Hide!
-Where should I go?

297
00:16:10,865 --> 00:16:13,785
Under the table. I'll get her
out of the room, you take off.

298
00:16:13,868 --> 00:16:17,872
Fine, but don't forget to turn
the asparagus down to a simmer, a simmer.

299
00:16:24,504 --> 00:16:25,672
What's all this?

300
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:29,342
I love you, baby, so I'm romancing you
with shrimp and handmade nookie.

301
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:30,427
[March] Oh.

302
00:16:31,136 --> 00:16:33,179
This looks amazing.

303
00:16:33,263 --> 00:16:35,765
That whole time
I thought you weren't doing anything,

304
00:16:36,474 --> 00:16:38,268
you were taking cooking classes.

305
00:16:38,351 --> 00:16:40,103
Yeah, whatever you say. Let's eat.

306
00:16:42,188 --> 00:16:43,732
Why don't we start with dessert?

307
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:49,738
-[Don] So this really worked?
-[Marcy] Oh, yeah, Chef.

308
00:16:49,821 --> 00:16:52,449
-[Don] Oh, Marcy.
-[Marcy] Oh, Don. [chuckles]

309
00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:54,617
-[table creaking]
-Can this table hold us? [grunting]

310
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,202
-[Don] If it breaks, it breaks.
-[Marcy] Okay.

311
00:17:12,218 --> 00:17:13,595
Hey.

312
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:16,723
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just sitting here.

313
00:17:16,806 --> 00:17:18,308
Oh. I get it.

314
00:17:18,975 --> 00:17:21,936
I did the same thing
when I first started driving. [chuckles]

315
00:17:22,979 --> 00:17:24,064
[car door locks]

316
00:17:24,856 --> 00:17:27,859
That's smart.
Don't let crazy people in your car.

317
00:17:30,487 --> 00:17:32,363
I just want to say I'm sorry.

318
00:17:33,573 --> 00:17:35,658
I know what a big deal this is for you.

319
00:17:39,412 --> 00:17:43,833
You know, when I got my license,
it meant I was growing up

320
00:17:43,917 --> 00:17:46,002
and it was the greatest feeling
in the world.

321
00:17:47,545 --> 00:17:50,507
But now that I'm a parent,
watching it happen to you...

322
00:17:51,883 --> 00:17:54,135
it is the scariest feeling in the world.

323
00:17:56,471 --> 00:17:57,680
[sighs]

324
00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:00,892
[car door unlocks]

325
00:18:10,693 --> 00:18:12,028
[sighs]

326
00:18:14,072 --> 00:18:15,532
Go on.

327
00:18:16,199 --> 00:18:18,451
I believe you were saying
nice things to me.

328
00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:24,124
[sighs] Look...

329
00:18:26,251 --> 00:18:27,293
you're my little girl.

330
00:18:28,503 --> 00:18:31,131
It's hard for me to accept
that you're growing up.

331
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:32,966
[sighs]

332
00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:35,260
As soon as I saw you behind the wheel...

333
00:18:37,512 --> 00:18:38,680
I saw you leaving.

334
00:18:40,765 --> 00:18:42,809
That's what people do in a car,
they leave.

335
00:18:45,186 --> 00:18:47,939
[scoffs] Dad, you're such a marshmallow.

336
00:18:49,983 --> 00:18:52,819
I just... I wish I had more time.

337
00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:55,155
There's so much left to teach you.

338
00:18:55,738 --> 00:18:59,117
Like, when you're walking
to your car at night,

339
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,619
you pepper spray first,
you ask questions later.

340
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,413
Okay, got it.

341
00:19:03,496 --> 00:19:07,792
And if a guy calls you after 10:00,
he only wants one thing.

342
00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:11,504
And if a guy calls you before 10:00,
he's just trying to beat the other guy.

343
00:19:11,588 --> 00:19:13,464
Trust me, I have been both guys.

344
00:19:16,718 --> 00:19:18,553
I'm not leaving now.

345
00:19:19,596 --> 00:19:21,556
You don't have to
squeeze it all in tonight.

346
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:23,892
[chuckles softly] Okay.

347
00:19:26,144 --> 00:19:27,145
But...

348
00:19:27,979 --> 00:19:29,856
[sighs] since I got you,

349
00:19:30,607 --> 00:19:32,567
here's the most important thing
you need to know...

350
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,113
I love you so much.

351
00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:41,743
I love you, too, Dad.

352
00:19:46,164 --> 00:19:47,415
[sighs]

353
00:19:51,753 --> 00:19:55,506
So, now will you admit
that I'm an excellent driver?

354
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:56,799
[sighs]

355
00:19:58,676 --> 00:19:59,969
I love you so much.

356
00:20:00,553 --> 00:20:01,554
[scoffs]

357
00:20:08,269 --> 00:20:12,023
Who has two thumbs
and passed his DMV test?

358
00:20:12,649 --> 00:20:14,234
-This guy!
-Aw.

359
00:20:14,317 --> 00:20:15,401
Ha!

360
00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:20,949
Never a doubt. In fact,
I made you a special dinner to celebrate.

361
00:20:21,032 --> 00:20:23,618
Shrimp scampi and handmade gnocchi.

362
00:20:23,701 --> 00:20:25,036
Ooh.

363
00:20:25,662 --> 00:20:27,705
Yeah. I got the recipe from Lowell.

364
00:20:27,789 --> 00:20:32,710
Oh, that looks delicious,
but how about if we start with dessert?

365
00:20:32,794 --> 00:20:33,920
Oh.

366
00:20:34,504 --> 00:20:36,798
Not again! Fool me once!

367
00:20:44,639 --> 00:20:46,641
[upbeat music playing]