1
00:00:02,314 --> 00:00:04,692
It says here
there's a supervolcano in Yellowstone
2
00:00:04,775 --> 00:00:06,736
that's gonna explode
and destroy the world.
3
00:00:07,319 --> 00:00:09,321
So, yes, I will have another beer.
4
00:00:10,948 --> 00:00:12,283
[knock at door]
5
00:00:12,366 --> 00:00:14,452
Who's that? We're everybody you know.
6
00:00:14,535 --> 00:00:15,578
Um...
7
00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:19,874
You know who's not gonna knock before
they come into your house? Supervolcano.
8
00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,003
Adam!
9
00:00:24,086 --> 00:00:25,379
-Oh!
-Alice.
10
00:00:25,463 --> 00:00:27,131
[both laugh]
11
00:00:27,214 --> 00:00:31,135
Look, guys, it's my mother-in-law
at my door with no warning.
12
00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:35,306
I just wanted a nice visit with my family.
Where's Andi?
13
00:00:35,389 --> 00:00:37,433
She's out buying new towels.
14
00:00:37,516 --> 00:00:39,810
She asked if I wanted to go,
and now I regret saying no.
15
00:00:39,894 --> 00:00:41,812
-Oh.
-[both laugh]
16
00:00:41,896 --> 00:00:43,939
Oh, Adam, I love your little jokes.
17
00:00:45,941 --> 00:00:47,777
I'm gonna go upstairs
and surprise the kids.
18
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:48,903
Okay.
19
00:00:49,653 --> 00:00:51,989
Hey, Don. Hello, little man I don't know.
20
00:00:53,032 --> 00:00:54,200
[door closes]
21
00:00:55,117 --> 00:00:56,827
Where's your supervolcano when I need it?
22
00:01:00,706 --> 00:01:01,916
The nuts are better.
23
00:01:01,999 --> 00:01:04,627
Oh, good, you found my brownies.
I was saving those.
24
00:01:06,504 --> 00:01:07,505
Where's Alice?
25
00:01:07,588 --> 00:01:10,674
Upstairs unpacking.
She's really making herself comfortable.
26
00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:13,052
She already turned the thermostat
up to 80.
27
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,764
Andi is not gonna like this surprise.
28
00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:19,058
Well, what's the big deal?
Alice seems nice.
29
00:01:19,141 --> 00:01:21,477
She is, but she makes Andi crazy.
30
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,814
And instead of telling her mom she makes
her crazy, Andi puts me in the middle.
31
00:01:24,897 --> 00:01:28,943
And I have to take it because of one
promise I made in a church 20 years ago.
32
00:01:30,402 --> 00:01:31,695
[car door closes]
33
00:01:31,779 --> 00:01:35,616
Andi's home. I'd better warn her outside,
away from anything breakable.
34
00:01:39,995 --> 00:01:43,415
Hey, honey. I got the towels. Oh,
and I picked up Teddy's new baseball bat.
35
00:01:43,499 --> 00:01:45,251
Ooh. Let me hold that for you.
36
00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:50,631
And can I just say
that you look beautiful,
37
00:01:50,714 --> 00:01:54,176
and I will love you until the end of time.
38
00:01:56,428 --> 00:01:58,889
What happened,
and how upset am I gonna be?
39
00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,393
Good. Your mind is prepared
for something horrible.
40
00:02:03,102 --> 00:02:04,103
Your mom is here.
41
00:02:04,186 --> 00:02:05,437
-What?
-Mm-hmm.
42
00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:06,981
But we're not ready.
43
00:02:07,064 --> 00:02:09,859
I mean, I haven't steamed or cleaned
or washed or prepped.
44
00:02:11,861 --> 00:02:13,612
It looks like our regular house in there.
45
00:02:15,156 --> 00:02:16,615
Smart to get rid of the bat, huh?
46
00:02:18,159 --> 00:02:21,954
A volcano's bad enough, but a supervolcano
will take your head right off.
47
00:02:23,497 --> 00:02:24,665
Hi, Mom.
48
00:02:24,748 --> 00:02:26,333
Oh, there she is.
49
00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:28,669
Oh, Don was just telling me
how we're all gonna die.
50
00:02:28,752 --> 00:02:30,129
Oh.
51
00:02:30,212 --> 00:02:33,841
Ah, this is such a surprise.
[chuckles] You're here.
52
00:02:35,593 --> 00:02:38,387
Without calling or texting
or any of the things people do.
53
00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:40,639
-[both laugh]
-Where's Dad?
54
00:02:40,723 --> 00:02:43,392
Oh, he's having a staycation
with George and Fred.
55
00:02:43,475 --> 00:02:45,019
Those are our Yorkies.
56
00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:50,316
We gave them human names so it wouldn't
be weird when they eat at the table.
57
00:02:52,443 --> 00:02:56,530
Uh, Mom, before you say anything,
our house is usually much neater.
58
00:02:56,614 --> 00:02:58,240
Oh, it looks fine.
59
00:02:58,324 --> 00:02:59,658
[chuckles] Yeah, sure.
60
00:02:59,742 --> 00:03:03,162
Um, let's go into the living room, huh?
61
00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:05,414
Where the couch pillows better be fluffed.
62
00:03:06,373 --> 00:03:07,541
They might be.
63
00:03:09,043 --> 00:03:10,961
I never know what you mean
when you say that.
64
00:03:12,171 --> 00:03:14,632
[laughs] He knows
what a fluffy pillow is, Mom.
65
00:03:14,715 --> 00:03:17,343
You can't listen to him. He's on the beer.
66
00:03:32,441 --> 00:03:33,442
Hey.
67
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,158
I'm "on the beer"?
68
00:03:43,869 --> 00:03:47,039
I made $300 last year
recycling your wine bottles.
69
00:03:48,165 --> 00:03:51,210
Look, I'm sorry.
I know you didn't do anything wrong.
70
00:03:51,293 --> 00:03:54,713
It's just, you know, when my mom is here,
I have to be perfect.
71
00:03:54,797 --> 00:03:56,757
Hey, hey.
Remember when your mom wasn't here?
72
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,384
That was great, right? [chuckles]
73
00:03:59,593 --> 00:04:02,763
I just don't want to disappoint her.
It's like I'm ten years old.
74
00:04:02,846 --> 00:04:04,765
Why can't you just tell your mom
75
00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:07,393
that you don't feel like
you can be yourself around her?
76
00:04:07,476 --> 00:04:09,061
I think she needs to hear that.
77
00:04:09,812 --> 00:04:11,689
You're right. She does need to hear that.
78
00:04:11,772 --> 00:04:12,773
Finally.
79
00:04:12,856 --> 00:04:14,775
But with one small adjustment.
80
00:04:14,858 --> 00:04:18,320
You see, I think
that she needs to hear it from you.
81
00:04:18,404 --> 00:04:19,947
Wha-- No.
82
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:22,825
No. You're always putting me
in the middle.
83
00:04:22,908 --> 00:04:25,077
Yeah, yeah. You're my buffer. [chuckles]
84
00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:28,664
My big, buff buffer.
85
00:04:28,747 --> 00:04:30,124
Yeah, but I don't like it.
86
00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:33,294
You know?
We're barely over last Thanksgiving,
87
00:04:33,377 --> 00:04:35,546
when you made me tell her
that her cranberry salad
88
00:04:35,629 --> 00:04:38,215
looked like a raccoon
that swallowed a firecracker.
89
00:04:39,091 --> 00:04:41,051
Come on. Once more for me?
90
00:04:41,135 --> 00:04:43,012
-I--
-One last job.
91
00:04:44,179 --> 00:04:47,391
You know, in the movies, they always
get killed on that one last job.
92
00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:49,935
It... It'll be great. It'll be great.
93
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:52,354
After dinner,
I'll go to bed, and you can talk to her.
94
00:04:52,438 --> 00:04:55,190
And then, when I wake up,
all the bad stuff will be over.
95
00:04:55,274 --> 00:04:56,984
Just like surgery.
96
00:04:58,736 --> 00:05:02,614
Fine. I'll talk to her.
But I'm gonna be on the beer when I do it.
97
00:05:08,537 --> 00:05:10,581
-[clears throat] Hey.
-Okay.
98
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:13,751
Kids are all tucked in. Where's Andi?
99
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,586
Uh, already in bed. Yeah.
100
00:05:15,669 --> 00:05:17,963
Somehow I got you all to myself.
[chuckles]
101
00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,758
But, um, it's good,
102
00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:23,177
because, uh,
I need to talk to you about something,
103
00:05:23,260 --> 00:05:25,095
and it's a little delicate.
104
00:05:25,179 --> 00:05:27,139
Okay. Before we get to that,
105
00:05:27,222 --> 00:05:29,933
I have to tell you something,
and it's pretty personal.
106
00:05:30,017 --> 00:05:31,143
[chuckles]
107
00:05:34,563 --> 00:05:37,232
That sounds like
an anybody-but-me situation.
108
00:05:37,858 --> 00:05:39,985
Oh, but you know
that I love you like a son,
109
00:05:40,069 --> 00:05:43,572
and you've been so wonderful to me
from the first moment that we met.
110
00:05:44,239 --> 00:05:48,118
I-I think you misunderstood. I was just
trying to sleep with your daughter.
111
00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:52,498
Adam, you're so funny.
112
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:57,586
But the thing is, I've left Andi's father.
113
00:06:01,507 --> 00:06:03,967
-What?
-Yeah. Oh, no, it's okay, it's okay.
114
00:06:04,051 --> 00:06:07,179
Oh, Frank and I have known
this was coming for a long time.
115
00:06:07,262 --> 00:06:11,600
And last Thursday Frank sneezed too loud,
and I just had it.
116
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:14,728
Oh, Alice, I'm sorry.
117
00:06:14,812 --> 00:06:19,024
Oh, no, don't be.
I am rediscovering who I am.
118
00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:21,401
I mean, who knows? I might be a vegan.
119
00:06:21,485 --> 00:06:23,737
I might be a Democrat,
or I might be a lesbian.
120
00:06:25,739 --> 00:06:29,910
Wow. Well, it's nice to have options.
121
00:06:30,619 --> 00:06:33,080
Yeah. I do have one favor
to ask you, though.
122
00:06:33,163 --> 00:06:34,373
Sure. Anything.
123
00:06:34,456 --> 00:06:36,875
Well, uh,
Andi's gonna need to hear the news.
124
00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:38,043
That'll be tough.
125
00:06:38,127 --> 00:06:40,587
Yeah. Which is why
I'd like her to hear it from you.
126
00:06:41,296 --> 00:06:44,800
[groans] That puts me in the middle.
127
00:06:45,801 --> 00:06:47,427
You're gonna do a super job.
128
00:06:47,511 --> 00:06:49,304
I'll take the kids to the zoo tomorrow,
129
00:06:49,388 --> 00:06:52,641
and when I get back,
all the messiness will be over.
130
00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:54,017
It's just like surgery.
131
00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:02,818
[sighs]
132
00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:08,532
[shouts]
133
00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:12,077
You scared me.
134
00:07:12,161 --> 00:07:15,247
Good, good. Your mind is prepared
for something horrible again.
135
00:07:16,039 --> 00:07:17,708
Did the talk with my mom not go well?
136
00:07:17,791 --> 00:07:20,461
There were some complications
during surgery.
137
00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:23,005
She told me some tough news.
138
00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:26,008
Oh, my God.
Did something happen to the Yorkies?
139
00:07:26,842 --> 00:07:29,803
Kind of. Their parents split up.
140
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:36,268
Listen, I am here for you.
Whatever you need, you just tell me.
141
00:07:36,351 --> 00:07:38,270
'Cause you know I won't know on my own.
142
00:07:42,774 --> 00:07:44,067
God, my poor dad.
143
00:07:44,151 --> 00:07:47,404
The good news is, I called
to check on him. He's doing great.
144
00:07:48,238 --> 00:07:51,116
He's gonna open a topless car wash
called Put 'Em on the Glass.
145
00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:55,245
Yeah, he's been talking
about that for years.
146
00:07:56,038 --> 00:07:57,623
Oh. Well, that makes sense.
147
00:07:57,706 --> 00:08:00,250
You don't come up
with a clever name like that overnight.
148
00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:03,879
I just never saw this coming.
149
00:08:03,962 --> 00:08:06,465
Although I don't know why I would.
She never tells me anything.
150
00:08:06,548 --> 00:08:08,509
She didn't even tell me this.
She made you do it.
151
00:08:08,592 --> 00:08:10,886
And I don't appreciate
her making you tell me things.
152
00:08:10,969 --> 00:08:12,221
You should go tell her that.
153
00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:17,100
What? That puts me in the middle again.
154
00:08:19,228 --> 00:08:22,105
Adam, 20 years ago,
you made a promise to me--
155
00:08:22,189 --> 00:08:23,982
In a church. I remember.
156
00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:27,986
I should've read the fine print.
157
00:08:29,863 --> 00:08:31,323
[sighs]
158
00:08:31,406 --> 00:08:34,159
You know what would solve everything?
Is if your mom wasn't here.
159
00:08:34,243 --> 00:08:36,787
I can't kick her out now.
She'll think I'm upset with her.
160
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:37,871
You are upset with her.
161
00:08:37,955 --> 00:08:39,957
That's why she can't know.
That's how we do it.
162
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,751
That's ridiculous.
163
00:08:44,044 --> 00:08:45,629
But what I'm hearing is,
164
00:08:45,712 --> 00:08:47,881
if you two can talk things out,
she can go?
165
00:08:48,465 --> 00:08:49,466
-Uh--
-I like it.
166
00:08:51,552 --> 00:08:54,721
I like it. Now that there's a little
cheese in the trap, I'm interested.
167
00:08:54,805 --> 00:08:56,181
[car door closes]
168
00:08:57,057 --> 00:08:58,433
Ah. Good morning.
169
00:08:58,517 --> 00:08:59,935
Hi, Mom.
170
00:09:00,894 --> 00:09:04,940
You told her already? But I'm still here.
The damn zoo doesn't open till 10:00.
171
00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:06,858
Oh.
172
00:09:06,942 --> 00:09:09,069
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. No more of this.
173
00:09:09,152 --> 00:09:11,530
I-- I'm done being the middleman. Okay?
174
00:09:11,613 --> 00:09:15,325
You two need to talk to each other
like grown women,
175
00:09:15,409 --> 00:09:17,536
not like a ten-year-old and her mother.
176
00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:20,080
How are we supposed
to magically be able to do that?
177
00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:23,125
I don't know. With alcohol.
178
00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:26,920
Go out, get drunk,
say a bunch of things you can't take back.
179
00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:29,381
Act like a family, for God sakes.
180
00:09:33,677 --> 00:09:35,762
So Frank and Alice
are calling it a day, huh?
181
00:09:35,846 --> 00:09:39,141
Phew. Talk about
dropping out of the marathon at mile 25.
182
00:09:41,393 --> 00:09:43,020
Well, it's sad they're breaking up,
183
00:09:43,103 --> 00:09:45,480
but Frank's got a winner
with that car wash.
184
00:09:45,564 --> 00:09:47,941
I mean, it's hard to compete
with soapy hooters.
185
00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:51,361
Now I'm stuck in a house
with two women who can't communicate.
186
00:09:52,029 --> 00:09:53,322
So I'm sending them to a bar
187
00:09:53,405 --> 00:09:56,033
to see if some cocktails
will help them open up to each other.
188
00:09:56,116 --> 00:10:00,078
I don't need drinks to tell the truth.
I'll be honest anywhere, anytime.
189
00:10:00,662 --> 00:10:02,914
You look tired. See?
190
00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:07,336
If I'm honest,
you could be a little less honest.
191
00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:10,505
Without Frank around,
192
00:10:10,589 --> 00:10:13,759
I'll bet Alice is gonna try to take over
as favorite grandma.
193
00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:20,641
I got cocky because I was local,
but now I got to step up my game.
194
00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:24,853
-I'm hungry.
-Oh, I'm on it.
195
00:10:24,936 --> 00:10:28,649
How about ice cream for dinner, hmm?
196
00:10:28,732 --> 00:10:32,152
Grandma Alice makes you eat vegetables.
What a dud.
197
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:39,993
Hey, Alice. What's happening up here?
Looks like you had some work done.
198
00:10:40,077 --> 00:10:43,955
[chuckles] Oh, thanks, Don.
No, since I'm back in the dating game,
199
00:10:44,039 --> 00:10:46,291
I watched a video
about how to do a smoky eye.
200
00:10:47,042 --> 00:10:48,043
Been there.
201
00:10:49,044 --> 00:10:51,588
-Hey, Alice. You ready for tonight?
-Uh...
202
00:10:51,672 --> 00:10:54,883
Just have a real conversation with Andi.
Talk about what you're going through.
203
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:56,218
Well, it's been emotional--
204
00:10:56,301 --> 00:10:59,388
Not to me, to Andi.
You did it again there.
205
00:11:00,597 --> 00:11:02,474
Oh, Joe's here.
206
00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:05,310
Let's see if your mother-in-law
can still make the dogs bark.
207
00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:10,315
She's a grandmother.
Why can't she just bake some cookies?
208
00:11:11,066 --> 00:11:13,026
God, Joe, look at you.
209
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:15,612
The older you get,
the more distinguished you look.
210
00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:17,280
Oh, that's what they tell me.
211
00:11:17,364 --> 00:11:19,866
[chuckles] I'm glad I found you,
'cause I need a little help.
212
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,326
-Hmm?
-[clears throat]
213
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,954
-Zip me up, would you?
-Oh.
214
00:11:25,872 --> 00:11:27,457
What the hell am I looking at?
215
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:32,254
What the hell am I looking at?
216
00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:34,131
I'm zipping it up, not down, Bev.
217
00:11:34,214 --> 00:11:36,299
You haven't zipped me up since the '60s.
218
00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:38,427
You tell me to hook it
with a back scratcher.
219
00:11:39,845 --> 00:11:43,098
We're leaving, Joe.
We'll talk about this when we get home.
220
00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:47,144
I can't help it. It's these khakis.
Tight in all the right places.
221
00:11:50,147 --> 00:11:51,815
Okay. I'm ready.
222
00:11:51,898 --> 00:11:52,941
There's my girl.
223
00:11:53,024 --> 00:11:54,734
Okay, you got this, babe, all right?
224
00:11:54,818 --> 00:11:58,488
You get a little tipsy, talk things out,
and then it's adios, Alice.
225
00:11:58,572 --> 00:12:01,158
Huh? It's gonna be great.
Especially that last part.
226
00:12:01,241 --> 00:12:04,703
Okay, come on, Alice.
Put your game face on. We are walking.
227
00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:06,413
Hustle. Hustle, hustle, hustle.
228
00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:07,664
-Okay.
-Hustle, hustle.
229
00:12:07,747 --> 00:12:09,708
Okay. All right. Hey.
230
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:12,586
Just have a real conversation with her.
231
00:12:12,669 --> 00:12:14,921
Don't get your hopes up.
We don't have those.
232
00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:16,756
That's the spirit. Off you go.
233
00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:22,179
-Dad? We heard about Nana and Pop-Pop.
-Is everything okay?
234
00:12:22,262 --> 00:12:25,474
Oh. Uh, listen,
I don't want you guys to worry
235
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:27,434
because your grandparents split up,
all right?
236
00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:30,437
Your dad's right. There's a supervolcano
under Yellowstone
237
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,564
that's gonna make this
the least of your problems.
238
00:12:38,695 --> 00:12:41,573
[laughing]
239
00:12:41,656 --> 00:12:44,034
-There they are. How'd it go?
-[Andi] Hi.
240
00:12:44,117 --> 00:12:46,828
Oh. It was so beautiful.
241
00:12:46,912 --> 00:12:49,122
Oh, I thought this might work.
242
00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:51,541
-Therapy's great, but liquor's quicker.
-[Andi chuckles]
243
00:12:52,459 --> 00:12:54,794
For the first time,
we could just be ourselves.
244
00:12:54,878 --> 00:12:56,463
-It's the most open we've ever been.
-Yeah.
245
00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:58,840
I think I was so closed off before
246
00:12:58,924 --> 00:13:02,052
because I had to be perfect
to convince myself that I was happy.
247
00:13:02,135 --> 00:13:04,054
Oh, yeah. I don't need the details.
248
00:13:04,137 --> 00:13:06,139
I was just looking for thumbs up,
thumbs down.
249
00:13:07,057 --> 00:13:08,350
Ooh. And guess what.
250
00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:10,560
Our Uber driver asked
my mom for her number.
251
00:13:10,644 --> 00:13:12,437
-Ah.
-[chuckles]
252
00:13:12,521 --> 00:13:13,897
He seemed like a gentleman.
253
00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,774
-He always used his turn signal.
-Yeah.
254
00:13:16,608 --> 00:13:18,109
Well, good for you.
255
00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:20,654
And now that things are resolved
between you two,
256
00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:22,489
you can go start your new life.
257
00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:24,950
And where better to do that than not here?
258
00:13:25,992 --> 00:13:29,329
She's not going anywhere.
We've just started to bond.
259
00:13:29,412 --> 00:13:31,623
As far as I'm concerned,
she could stay here forever.
260
00:13:31,706 --> 00:13:33,041
-[Alice] Oh!
-Forever?
261
00:13:34,751 --> 00:13:38,547
How can she stay forever if she's leaving?
That doesn't make sense.
262
00:13:39,631 --> 00:13:43,718
Oh. I'm just happy that my daughter
wants me around forever.
263
00:13:43,802 --> 00:13:48,515
Aw. Thanks for making us talk, Adam.
You know, you did this.
264
00:13:48,598 --> 00:13:50,934
Aw, you don't have to rub it in.
265
00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,269
[all chuckling]
266
00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:58,608
Listen, we need to talk about how long
your mom's gonna be staying with us,
267
00:13:58,692 --> 00:14:01,152
because the answer to that
can't be "forever."
268
00:14:03,238 --> 00:14:06,449
Sure, baby. Why don't you come chat
about it under the covers?
269
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:09,744
No, no. No, no, no, no. This is serious.
270
00:14:09,828 --> 00:14:12,581
-Your mom is--
-Blah, blah, blah. Take your shirt off.
271
00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:16,710
What? No. Honey, honey.
We have important things to discuss.
272
00:14:16,793 --> 00:14:19,129
-But I'm feeling so good.
-[sighs]
273
00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:22,424
I am not a machine.
274
00:14:23,675 --> 00:14:25,677
Okay? You can't just turn me on.
275
00:14:30,765 --> 00:14:33,018
[sighs] Okay, we'll talk tomorrow.
276
00:14:33,101 --> 00:14:34,227
Ooh!
277
00:14:36,062 --> 00:14:38,982
"Forever."
That was the exact word she used.
278
00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:42,277
So, just get Andi to ask Alice to leave.
279
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,572
I tried that.
But she bewitched me with sex.
280
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,451
Wives will do that.
That's why I don't have a snowmobile.
281
00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:51,661
Or a say in anything.
282
00:14:52,871 --> 00:14:54,080
I don't know what to do.
283
00:14:54,164 --> 00:14:57,000
My wife is happy,
but I'm living with my mother-in-law.
284
00:14:57,083 --> 00:15:01,421
It's crazy. I got lonely Uber drivers
circling my house like it's the airport.
285
00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:08,762
So, the question is, whose happiness
is more important, yours or Andi's?
286
00:15:09,846 --> 00:15:12,223
Why did you ask it like that?
Are you wearing a wire?
287
00:15:14,392 --> 00:15:15,769
I got the solution to this.
288
00:15:16,561 --> 00:15:18,313
Does it involve a supervolcano?
289
00:15:19,814 --> 00:15:22,067
No. But now I need a minute.
290
00:15:26,112 --> 00:15:27,948
Mom, this week has been so fun.
291
00:15:28,031 --> 00:15:31,284
We're so comfortable around
each other now, we can shop for bras.
292
00:15:31,368 --> 00:15:33,995
Before this, I don't even think
I could say "bra" to you.
293
00:15:35,664 --> 00:15:36,957
Hey, do you like this one?
294
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,543
Uh, that's too complicated to unhook.
295
00:15:40,627 --> 00:15:43,254
I'm gonna be dating men
in the early stages of arthritis.
296
00:15:43,338 --> 00:15:44,923
I want to make it easy on them.
297
00:15:51,179 --> 00:15:54,975
Oh. [clears throat] Wow.
Maybe you should pick your own bra.
298
00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:58,353
-This is what friends do.
-[both chuckle]
299
00:15:58,436 --> 00:16:03,149
Oh, and I have to tell you,
I am loving this sexual freedom.
300
00:16:04,401 --> 00:16:07,904
See, now, your dad,
he wanted his wife to be this bra.
301
00:16:07,988 --> 00:16:10,281
-But I wanted to be this bra.
-Mm.
302
00:16:10,365 --> 00:16:13,201
[chuckles] "I mean, come on,
let's try some stuff, Frank.
303
00:16:13,284 --> 00:16:15,036
Pull my hair once in a while."
304
00:16:18,832 --> 00:16:20,834
Okay. So, for my wife's happiness,
305
00:16:20,917 --> 00:16:24,295
I am just going to accept the fact
that my mother-in-law lives with us.
306
00:16:24,379 --> 00:16:26,297
I'm gonna be a better person.
I'm gonna be that guy.
307
00:16:27,132 --> 00:16:28,717
That guy sleeps in the garage.
308
00:16:29,926 --> 00:16:31,678
Eventually with the car running.
309
00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:35,348
Don does paint a bleak picture.
310
00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:37,267
But...
311
00:16:37,892 --> 00:16:40,603
But nothing. I just thought
he did a nice job describing it.
312
00:16:44,858 --> 00:16:45,942
My mom's gotta go.
313
00:16:47,527 --> 00:16:50,780
Oh, thank God. I was trying to be a better
person, but it just doesn't feel like me.
314
00:16:52,115 --> 00:16:53,199
What changed your mind?
315
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:56,077
Well, I'm glad that my mom and I
are more open,
316
00:16:56,161 --> 00:16:58,038
but now it's too open.
317
00:16:59,914 --> 00:17:03,376
If she leaves, maybe we can just
slow this whole thing down.
318
00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:06,713
"If she leaves." I like where
you're going. What do you need from me?
319
00:17:06,796 --> 00:17:10,383
Help me get rid of her, but without making
her feel like we're getting rid of her.
320
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:14,095
All right. Using underhanded means to get
what I want. Now, this feels like me.
321
00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:21,478
[sighs] Okay, Mom.
Per your request, I made you a flirtini.
322
00:17:22,228 --> 00:17:26,733
So, here's to your sexual awakening,
I guess.
323
00:17:27,442 --> 00:17:29,861
Thanks, honey. That's very woke of you.
324
00:17:30,487 --> 00:17:32,530
-I've been on the Internet.
-[chuckles]
325
00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:33,698
[knock at door]
326
00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:37,994
Hey. Thanks for coming.
You ready to do this?
327
00:17:38,078 --> 00:17:40,747
It'll be easy.
I'll let the khakis do the talking.
328
00:17:42,707 --> 00:17:44,709
Oh. Hi, Joe.
329
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,836
Ah, there she is.
330
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,257
The soft spring night can only be enhanced
by a beautiful woman.
331
00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:52,717
Oh.
332
00:17:52,801 --> 00:17:54,803
Alice, let's dance.
333
00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:57,555
Since that night I zipped you,
I've been dying to dip you.
334
00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:01,392
But, Joe, you're married to Bev.
335
00:18:01,476 --> 00:18:04,229
And you used to be married to Frank.
We're halfway there.
336
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,525
[gasps]
337
00:18:08,608 --> 00:18:12,028
I knew when I saw your Old Spice
on the counter, you were up to no good.
338
00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:16,574
And you. You get your hands off my man.
339
00:18:16,658 --> 00:18:18,076
It's not what it looks like.
340
00:18:18,159 --> 00:18:19,911
It is if it looks like love.
341
00:18:21,246 --> 00:18:22,872
Joe, come on, stop it.
342
00:18:22,956 --> 00:18:26,084
No, Bev, Bev,
I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
343
00:18:26,751 --> 00:18:29,587
I think it's my new bra.
It unleashed something.
344
00:18:31,005 --> 00:18:33,716
Touch my husband again,
and I'll unleash something.
345
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,844
-Ma, easy. Ma. Easy.
-Get off me.
346
00:18:37,804 --> 00:18:40,974
Mom, maybe you should head upstairs.
I don't know how long he can hold her.
347
00:18:41,057 --> 00:18:43,393
Honey, I don't know
if upstairs is far enough.
348
00:18:43,476 --> 00:18:45,770
-Where else could she go?
-I don't know.
349
00:18:45,854 --> 00:18:49,524
No one in this family's safe
with her kind of raw sexuality around.
350
00:18:49,607 --> 00:18:51,109
A cougar needs to hunt.
351
00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:56,239
You know, maybe it is time for me to leave
and start my new life.
352
00:18:56,322 --> 00:18:58,908
Well, only if it's right for you.
353
00:18:58,992 --> 00:19:01,619
Well, maybe I could take a trip to Italy.
354
00:19:01,703 --> 00:19:03,997
The land of olive oil and hairy men.
355
00:19:04,956 --> 00:19:06,457
Tell your story walking.
356
00:19:08,835 --> 00:19:11,713
And if I see you around here again,
I'll give you a smoky eye
357
00:19:11,796 --> 00:19:13,089
without the makeup.
358
00:19:15,842 --> 00:19:16,968
Mom.
359
00:19:17,051 --> 00:19:20,471
-You were terrifying. Great performance.
-What are you talking about?
360
00:19:20,555 --> 00:19:23,766
What? Why don't you know
what I'm talking about?
361
00:19:24,851 --> 00:19:26,811
Bev, there you are.
I've been looking all over for you.
362
00:19:26,895 --> 00:19:28,897
I didn't get to tell her about the plan.
363
00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,023
What plan?
364
00:19:30,106 --> 00:19:32,775
Dad was just faking it
to get Alice to leave.
365
00:19:33,484 --> 00:19:35,236
[gasps] Oh!
366
00:19:35,987 --> 00:19:37,697
I'm sorry, Joe.
367
00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:40,200
I wish I'd known.
I wouldn't have held back.
368
00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:42,911
That was holding back?
369
00:19:42,994 --> 00:19:44,954
Yeah. My mom can beat up your mom.
370
00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:53,129
-Bye, Mom.
-Bye, Alice. Close the door.
371
00:19:54,631 --> 00:19:57,175
-Have fun in Italy.
-Close the door!
372
00:20:00,595 --> 00:20:02,931
Honey, do you understand
what just happened?
373
00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:05,725
Yeah. You closed the door
so your mom can't get back in.
374
00:20:05,808 --> 00:20:08,311
No-- No.
375
00:20:08,394 --> 00:20:12,774
Our whole relationship has changed.
I can finally be myself around her.
376
00:20:12,857 --> 00:20:15,443
Of course, I'll have to get used to her
being herself around me,
377
00:20:15,526 --> 00:20:17,278
but it's a big step forward.
378
00:20:18,529 --> 00:20:19,989
And it's all thanks to you.
379
00:20:20,073 --> 00:20:21,491
Aw, well, I'm happy for you.
380
00:20:21,574 --> 00:20:22,659
[chuckles]
381
00:20:22,742 --> 00:20:24,410
Hey. You know how we should celebrate?
382
00:20:24,494 --> 00:20:26,871
Do-Do that thing
where you unbutton my buttons.
383
00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:28,539
[whistles]
384
00:20:29,874 --> 00:20:30,875
[chuckles]
385
00:20:31,751 --> 00:20:34,796
Honey, it's been a crazy week.
Let's just watch TV.
386
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,761
I miss your mom.