1
00:00:06,902 --> 00:00:09,655
I was just reading
your naughty texts from this morning,

2
00:00:09,739 --> 00:00:14,326
and I believe this is the moment
you referred to as "go time."

3
00:00:15,369 --> 00:00:19,415
And I bought us some fake candles
so that we don't start another sex fire.

4
00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,459
Ooh.

5
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,753
What is that, a blindfold?

6
00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:26,797
Ooh, I like that you're adding
some new plays to the game.

7
00:00:27,757 --> 00:00:31,093
No, it's just a washcloth.
I have a headache. I'm sorry, honey.

8
00:00:31,177 --> 00:00:33,304
I just... I've been getting
a lot of them lately.

9
00:00:33,387 --> 00:00:34,597
Oh.

10
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,850
Is there anything I can do?
Make you some coffee or...

11
00:00:37,933 --> 00:00:41,604
No, thanks. I had two cups after dinner.
I'll call the doctor tomorrow.

12
00:00:41,687 --> 00:00:43,439
That's smart. Yeah, get it checked out.

13
00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:49,361
This is nice.

14
00:00:49,445 --> 00:00:51,947
We've never had a work meeting
by candlelight before.

15
00:00:53,491 --> 00:00:56,410
Well, I'm using everything
I didn't get a chance to use last night.

16
00:00:57,828 --> 00:01:00,956
So, if you want whipped cream
in your coffee, let me know.

17
00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:05,211
I like it. I feel like I'm at a seance.

18
00:01:07,338 --> 00:01:10,132
Grandpa, I'm sorry I took your cigarettes.

19
00:01:12,468 --> 00:01:14,762
Well, look, I appreciate
you guys working here today.

20
00:01:14,845 --> 00:01:17,640
Since Andi's at the doctor,
I wanted to be home when she gets back.

21
00:01:17,723 --> 00:01:18,891
The doctor? Is she okay?

22
00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:22,478
Yeah, yeah. She's just
feeling a little tired and headachy.

23
00:01:22,561 --> 00:01:24,939
Hmm. Sounds like
she got a case of the "wifes."

24
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:27,817
Hi, guys.

25
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,985
Hey. So, what did the doctor say?

26
00:01:30,069 --> 00:01:31,654
-It's nothing serious.
-[sighs] Oh.

27
00:01:31,737 --> 00:01:33,364
But the doctor did recommend one thing

28
00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:35,658
that I'm thinking
we should discuss in private.

29
00:01:35,741 --> 00:01:39,078
-We should go.
-Good idea. Come on, Lowell.

30
00:01:39,829 --> 00:01:41,163
Come on, Grandpa.

31
00:01:44,542 --> 00:01:45,876
So, uh, what's going on?

32
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,170
Well, the doctor says
that my problem is hormonal.

33
00:01:48,921 --> 00:01:50,005
Oh, that's not so bad.

34
00:01:50,089 --> 00:01:52,007
So, what do you do for that,
a pill or something?

35
00:01:52,091 --> 00:01:56,470
Kind of. In-- In the sense
that I have to stop taking a pill.

36
00:01:56,554 --> 00:01:57,805
The pill.

37
00:01:58,764 --> 00:01:59,765
What?

38
00:02:01,934 --> 00:02:03,185
I know.

39
00:02:03,269 --> 00:02:05,229
But that's the best pill.

40
00:02:06,564 --> 00:02:08,649
I would give up all the other pills
for that pill.

41
00:02:08,732 --> 00:02:10,067
Yeah.

42
00:02:10,151 --> 00:02:12,403
I mean, that pill lets us
have fun without consequences.

43
00:02:12,486 --> 00:02:13,487
[groans]

44
00:02:13,571 --> 00:02:16,574
We can't afford to put
another consequence through college.

45
00:02:16,657 --> 00:02:21,370
It's like some mysterious force
is trying to stop us from having sex. I...

46
00:02:34,049 --> 00:02:36,385
[theme music playing]

47
00:02:42,975 --> 00:02:47,062
So, um, I've been off the pill
for a few days, and I feel pretty good.

48
00:02:47,146 --> 00:02:48,147
Good.

49
00:02:49,899 --> 00:02:51,650
I said I feel good.

50
00:02:52,735 --> 00:02:54,028
Take your pants off.

51
00:02:55,654 --> 00:02:57,489
My favorite four words
in the English language.

52
00:02:57,573 --> 00:02:59,366
[both chuckle]

53
00:03:02,036 --> 00:03:05,664
Wait, wait, wait. We can't just do this.

54
00:03:05,748 --> 00:03:07,458
There's no goalie in the net.

55
00:03:07,541 --> 00:03:11,670
[scoffs] Okay, so go to the drugstore
and buy a box of goalies.

56
00:03:11,754 --> 00:03:14,173
That'll take too long, you know?

57
00:03:14,256 --> 00:03:16,175
My uniform's on,
they sang the national anthem,

58
00:03:16,258 --> 00:03:18,385
it's-- it's time to take the ice.

59
00:03:20,346 --> 00:03:21,597
Well, what do we do?

60
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,808
There's got to be one of those things
around here somewhere.

61
00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:26,685
When was the last time
I slept with someone

62
00:03:26,769 --> 00:03:28,395
I didn't completely trust?

63
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,649
Oh! I got it.

64
00:03:31,732 --> 00:03:33,692
I need my box of stuff
from my single days.

65
00:03:33,776 --> 00:03:35,527
All right, I'll be right back. Don't move.

66
00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:47,331
[clattering, thudding]

67
00:03:47,414 --> 00:03:48,666
[Adam] Ow!

68
00:03:49,792 --> 00:03:51,001
[groans]

69
00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:01,011
[grunting]

70
00:04:06,684 --> 00:04:09,228
[panting]

71
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:21,240
Hey, there.

72
00:04:24,285 --> 00:04:25,577
That was fun.

73
00:04:25,661 --> 00:04:28,789
Yeah. It's always fun.
That's the thing about it.

74
00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,545
It was different, though.

75
00:04:34,628 --> 00:04:36,755
It's great to go for a spin, but...

76
00:04:37,381 --> 00:04:40,509
it's hard to wear a helmet when
I've already felt the wind in my face.

77
00:04:42,052 --> 00:04:43,804
Well, if you don't like
wearing one of those,

78
00:04:43,887 --> 00:04:45,389
there's other forms of birth control.

79
00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:49,059
[scoffs] The best birth control
is if I grow a mustache again.

80
00:04:50,769 --> 00:04:52,604
It smelled like pretzels.

81
00:04:52,688 --> 00:04:55,190
Okay, well,
let's narrow down our options, right?

82
00:04:55,274 --> 00:04:58,402
We know it has to be hormone-free,
so all that stuff is no good.

83
00:04:58,485 --> 00:05:01,363
Yeah. Yeah, and it'd be great
if using it didn't require a time-out

84
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,115
just when things
are getting hot and heavy.

85
00:05:03,198 --> 00:05:06,994
Agreed. That is a bad time
for a commercial break.

86
00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:10,414
Okay, but we can work around that

87
00:05:10,497 --> 00:05:12,791
if one of us is prepared in advance.

88
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,878
Yeah. Yeah, but I don't want
to schedule it.

89
00:05:15,961 --> 00:05:18,714
Being able to do it whenever I want
is the whole reason I got married.

90
00:05:20,507 --> 00:05:21,633
Besides all the love.

91
00:05:22,885 --> 00:05:24,887
But that got me in the door.

92
00:05:25,512 --> 00:05:27,389
Okay, but, you know,
until we figure it out,

93
00:05:27,473 --> 00:05:29,558
we need to keep our hands to ourselves.

94
00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:31,185
Yeah, well, sure. No big deal.

95
00:05:31,268 --> 00:05:33,687
We've been married 20 years.
How hard can it be?

96
00:05:35,230 --> 00:05:37,483
This has been the hardest week of my life.

97
00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:42,529
You're over here
pouring coffee like a minx.

98
00:05:45,324 --> 00:05:46,492
Teasing me.

99
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:51,163
Just knowing we can't do it
makes me want to do it even more.

100
00:05:52,956 --> 00:05:56,835
If I had known our last time
was gonna be our last time,

101
00:05:56,919 --> 00:05:58,504
I would've put on a better show.

102
00:06:00,214 --> 00:06:02,216
Okay. Let's figure out this budget.

103
00:06:02,299 --> 00:06:03,550
Well, numbers are boring.

104
00:06:03,634 --> 00:06:04,635
-That should help.
-Yeah.

105
00:06:07,096 --> 00:06:11,100
Okay. We are way over budget
on the new house we're flipping.

106
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:13,435
We need to bring down the cost
of the fixtures.

107
00:06:14,394 --> 00:06:16,396
Fixtures? Well, that's, uh...

108
00:06:17,106 --> 00:06:18,774
Should be...

109
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:22,152
Do you have to hold your pencil
like that, all sexy?

110
00:06:24,196 --> 00:06:26,240
That's just the way I write.

111
00:06:26,323 --> 00:06:27,449
-Mm.
-You know.

112
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:30,702
Fast, and then not so fast.

113
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:39,378
I can feel your eyes burning a hole
through my shirt. I like it.

114
00:06:39,461 --> 00:06:43,632
Okay, that's it.
Go back to fooling around already.

115
00:06:43,715 --> 00:06:46,468
And by the way, I shouldn't even know
you haven't been fooling around,

116
00:06:46,552 --> 00:06:48,220
but the two of you won't shut up about it.

117
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:52,766
I'd file a complaint with HR,
but that's me.

118
00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:56,979
Look, we have a real problem here.

119
00:06:57,062 --> 00:07:00,190
Andi had to go off the pill,
and none of the other options are good.

120
00:07:00,274 --> 00:07:02,651
Believe me, if there was a solution,
we would have found it.

121
00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:03,944
Well, I have a solution.

122
00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:05,821
Great. We're open to anything.

123
00:07:05,904 --> 00:07:07,281
-Get a vasectomy.
-What?

124
00:07:09,449 --> 00:07:12,286
-I never even thought of that.
-Who would think of it?

125
00:07:13,996 --> 00:07:16,123
Sounds awfully permanent, Lowell.

126
00:07:17,332 --> 00:07:18,375
That's what's great about it.

127
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,627
One afternoon and you never
have to worry about it again.

128
00:07:20,711 --> 00:07:21,879
What do you think?

129
00:07:28,719 --> 00:07:32,139
Well, I, uh... [clears throat]

130
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:35,142
I think I need more information

131
00:07:35,225 --> 00:07:39,188
from the expert
who brought it up in front of my wife.

132
00:07:40,939 --> 00:07:42,441
Yeah. Come on, Lowell.

133
00:07:42,524 --> 00:07:45,235
Let's go talk about it in the driveway
man-to-man. Come on.

134
00:07:46,487 --> 00:07:48,071
Come on! Come on.

135
00:07:48,155 --> 00:07:50,365
[chuckles] Come on.

136
00:07:52,868 --> 00:07:54,203
What are you doing to me?

137
00:07:55,913 --> 00:07:58,832
As soon as you called me a man,
I knew I was in trouble.

138
00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:04,463
You never say the V-word
in another man's house.

139
00:08:06,757 --> 00:08:08,258
-I was just trying to help.
-[scoffs]

140
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:09,843
You know, millions of guys get vasec--

141
00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:11,011
Stop saying it!

142
00:08:12,888 --> 00:08:14,264
Let me tell you something, Lowell.

143
00:08:14,348 --> 00:08:16,683
Surgery is knives and scalpels
and needles,

144
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:20,354
and none of those will ever come
anywhere near my favorite friend.

145
00:08:22,314 --> 00:08:23,482
So, then, don't do it.

146
00:08:23,565 --> 00:08:25,526
Yeah. But now she's heard the word.

147
00:08:26,985 --> 00:08:27,986
It's out there.

148
00:08:29,112 --> 00:08:31,240
You did a very bad thing,
Lowell. Very bad.

149
00:08:31,865 --> 00:08:33,325
I'm not sorry.

150
00:08:33,408 --> 00:08:36,620
You were both playing footsie with me
under the table. I had to make it stop.

151
00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:47,548
-Where do you think you're going?
-My stuff's in there.

152
00:08:47,631 --> 00:08:49,174
Well, you should've thought about that

153
00:08:49,258 --> 00:08:51,093
before you fired up
your propaganda machine.

154
00:08:56,598 --> 00:08:57,766
Hey.

155
00:08:58,684 --> 00:09:01,353
-Where's Lowell?
-Oh, uh, he left. Yeah.

156
00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:05,607
He felt bad about getting involved
in our personal business.

157
00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:06,692
Mm.

158
00:09:07,442 --> 00:09:10,571
You know, his idea
would solve our problem once and for all.

159
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:12,614
I mean, maybe it's worth considering.

160
00:09:12,698 --> 00:09:14,908
-Uh-huh.
-[gasps] I'm gonna go call Janette.

161
00:09:14,992 --> 00:09:16,618
I think her husband had one.

162
00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:24,501
Very bad, Lowell!

163
00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:32,926
Can I come sit with you guys yet?

164
00:09:33,969 --> 00:09:38,223
No. Thanks to you, Andi says
it's something we should consider.

165
00:09:38,307 --> 00:09:40,183
She's calling her friend Janette.

166
00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:43,145
When Janette got wind chimes,
we got wind chimes.

167
00:09:44,438 --> 00:09:46,607
How could you say the V-word
in front of his wife?

168
00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:47,858
Why do you hate him?

169
00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:51,486
I didn't know it was such a terrible idea.

170
00:09:52,321 --> 00:09:55,532
Fine, you can come back over.
But you can never say that word again.

171
00:09:55,616 --> 00:09:59,995
I won't, I swear.
That was a cold, lonely eight minutes.

172
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:01,830
[clears throat]

173
00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:04,291
The question is: What do I do now?

174
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:07,336
Obviously, I'm not gonna get a...
I can't even say it.

175
00:10:07,419 --> 00:10:09,421
Let's just call it Lowell's terrible idea.

176
00:10:11,089 --> 00:10:13,842
You could make
Lowell's terrible idea go away

177
00:10:13,925 --> 00:10:15,761
if you give Andi a better solution.

178
00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:19,306
-Like what?
-There are other forms of birth control.

179
00:10:19,389 --> 00:10:21,224
Your mother and I used the rhythm method.

180
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:23,518
It only failed twice-- one, two.

181
00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:28,732
Or you could just do it with lady on top.
Let gravity do the work.

182
00:10:29,608 --> 00:10:31,443
How do you not have 20 kids?

183
00:10:32,819 --> 00:10:33,904
-Gravity.
-Mm.

184
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,406
She's not gonna go for any of those.

185
00:10:36,490 --> 00:10:40,077
Yeah, don't listen to Don's terrible idea.
That's the new terrible idea.

186
00:10:40,869 --> 00:10:42,746
Don't get cocky. You started this.

187
00:10:43,538 --> 00:10:46,375
Look, the minute Lowell mentioned it,
you know what popped into my head?

188
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,501
Our old dog Rex.

189
00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:49,336
-Oh.
-After we had him fixed,

190
00:10:49,419 --> 00:10:50,587
he was never the same.

191
00:10:50,671 --> 00:10:53,674
That's true.
Poor guy stopped chasing the Frisbee.

192
00:10:53,757 --> 00:10:55,676
Just didn't see the point anymore.

193
00:10:57,219 --> 00:10:59,721
His one purpose in life
was to make little Rexes,

194
00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:01,473
and the doctor just took it away.

195
00:11:02,474 --> 00:11:04,768
And then, of course, there was the end.

196
00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:06,228
Ah...

197
00:11:06,311 --> 00:11:08,146
The end? What happened to Rex?

198
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:09,856
Ran out in front of the bookmobile.

199
00:11:12,359 --> 00:11:14,778
We'll never know
if it was on purpose or not.

200
00:11:14,861 --> 00:11:17,447
But if he had thumbs,
I bet he would have written a note.

201
00:11:18,907 --> 00:11:22,577
I just need a surefire way
to make this whole thing disappear.

202
00:11:24,162 --> 00:11:26,456
I mean, I guess I could just say "no."

203
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,959
Okay. Nice knowing you, Rex.

204
00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:32,754
Yeah. It won't work.
That "no" won't stick.

205
00:11:32,838 --> 00:11:34,089
Why not?

206
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:36,258
Because if you hit her
with a knee-jerk "no"

207
00:11:36,341 --> 00:11:39,553
without anything to back it up,
she'll hit you with a "why."

208
00:11:39,636 --> 00:11:41,179
And then you're dead.

209
00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:45,559
Right. So whenever Marcy suggests
some nutty thing,

210
00:11:45,642 --> 00:11:50,147
I go through the motions, I get informed,
and then I say, "I thought about it,

211
00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:52,566
I did my homework, but it's a 'no.'"

212
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,443
And that "no" sticks?

213
00:11:54,526 --> 00:11:56,987
Oh, yeah, the wives love it
when you do your homework.

214
00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:58,864
Deep down, they're all teachers.

215
00:12:00,282 --> 00:12:04,661
It's a thoughtful, open-minded "no."
Wives dig that hippie crap.

216
00:12:05,412 --> 00:12:08,957
Okay. How about this?
I'll go for a consultation

217
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,127
with a doctor who specializes
in Lowell's terrible idea.

218
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:14,671
I didn't invent it. I just said it.

219
00:12:15,464 --> 00:12:16,590
And I'll bring Andi with me.

220
00:12:16,673 --> 00:12:19,718
Okay, she'll see me doing my homework
by listening to the doctor,

221
00:12:19,801 --> 00:12:22,387
I take a day or two
to consider it with an open mind,

222
00:12:22,471 --> 00:12:24,222
then I give Andi a "no" that sticks.

223
00:12:24,306 --> 00:12:26,558
Then problem solved-- no vasectomy.

224
00:12:26,641 --> 00:12:29,186
-[all] Lowell!
-I heard it. I'll go back over there.

225
00:12:35,317 --> 00:12:38,153
You know, I am so impressed
that you would even consider this.

226
00:12:38,236 --> 00:12:41,740
Well, a consultation
seemed like a good idea.

227
00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:44,534
I like to do my homework
before I make a decision.

228
00:12:46,953 --> 00:12:48,872
You can never go wrong with homework.

229
00:12:56,129 --> 00:12:57,172
You look hot.

230
00:13:00,425 --> 00:13:01,426
I do?

231
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:03,470
I don't know. It's been too long.

232
00:13:05,847 --> 00:13:08,642
You could grow that stupid mustache again.
I'd be all over you.

233
00:13:12,187 --> 00:13:15,232
Mr. and Mrs. Burns,
the doctor's ready for you.

234
00:13:16,358 --> 00:13:18,151
You okay? You nervous?

235
00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:21,238
No. It's a consultation.

236
00:13:22,739 --> 00:13:25,283
[chuckles softly]
A consultation is just a consultation.

237
00:13:26,993 --> 00:13:28,495
Everybody feels uneasy,

238
00:13:28,578 --> 00:13:30,830
but once they talk to the doctor,
they relax.

239
00:13:30,914 --> 00:13:34,084
Some guys even do the procedure
during the consultation.

240
00:13:37,879 --> 00:13:39,756
Yeah, that's what Janette's husband did.

241
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,260
He did, huh? [chuckles]

242
00:13:43,343 --> 00:13:44,886
Old wind chime Bob?

243
00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:51,059
[alarm ringing]

244
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:54,896
Adam?

245
00:13:55,981 --> 00:13:57,190
[can pops open]

246
00:14:12,706 --> 00:14:14,666
There you are.
I've been looking all over for you.

247
00:14:17,502 --> 00:14:19,337
How did you get in the house?
I had the keys.

248
00:14:19,421 --> 00:14:21,214
Oh, I used my Swiss Army knife.

249
00:14:22,424 --> 00:14:24,009
I hid it under my dress.

250
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:27,929
Doctor has a knife,
I have a knife. Fair is fair.

251
00:14:30,432 --> 00:14:32,100
Care to tell me what happened back there?

252
00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:35,562
I can't do it. I can't do it so much,

253
00:14:35,645 --> 00:14:37,397
I can't even pretend
to think about doing it.

254
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:39,941
You were pretending?

255
00:14:40,025 --> 00:14:43,778
Yes. I wanted you to think
I was open-minded about that procedure,

256
00:14:43,862 --> 00:14:44,946
but I am not.

257
00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:48,241
Do you know what they do
in that room? It is barbaric!

258
00:14:50,994 --> 00:14:52,287
But it was your idea.

259
00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:55,707
No, it was Lowell's idea.
I would never suggest that.

260
00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:59,753
It would be taking away
my whole purpose on this planet.

261
00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:02,839
What about the little Adams?

262
00:15:02,923 --> 00:15:04,215
What, you mean, like, babies?

263
00:15:04,299 --> 00:15:05,342
Yes.

264
00:15:06,593 --> 00:15:07,844
That's what I'm here for.

265
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:10,931
To pass on all this good stuff.

266
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:17,395
But we already had babies.
And we don't need any more.

267
00:15:17,479 --> 00:15:22,442
Look, I... I know we did,
but I'm just saying.

268
00:15:24,778 --> 00:15:25,862
What if?

269
00:15:28,156 --> 00:15:31,409
You mean what if I get struck by lightning

270
00:15:31,493 --> 00:15:33,286
and you want to have kids
with some new woman?

271
00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:34,913
That "what if"?

272
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:39,292
No. It's bigger
and less selfish than that.

273
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:43,713
What if I want to have kids
with lots of women?

274
00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:47,634
[sighs] Excuse me?

275
00:15:48,885 --> 00:15:53,640
I mean, if there's a natural disaster.
You know, the big one.

276
00:15:55,266 --> 00:15:57,352
Meteor or alien invasion.

277
00:15:57,435 --> 00:16:01,272
Everybody gets wiped out
except me and five young women.

278
00:16:03,984 --> 00:16:05,902
Oh, they're young now. I see.

279
00:16:07,612 --> 00:16:09,698
There's lots of 'em, and they're young.

280
00:16:11,199 --> 00:16:12,534
Well, yeah, they have to be young.

281
00:16:12,617 --> 00:16:13,994
Those are the only people
that survive the big one.

282
00:16:14,077 --> 00:16:15,078
[Andi] Uh-huh.

283
00:16:16,663 --> 00:16:18,957
-Then how did you survive?
-I can survive anything.

284
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,333
-I got my Swiss Army knife.
-Ugh.

285
00:16:22,544 --> 00:16:27,007
My point is, I may have
to populate the human race.

286
00:16:28,466 --> 00:16:31,094
It's happened before. My name is Adam.

287
00:16:33,638 --> 00:16:38,810
Okay, so your big worry
is a doomsday orgy fantasy?

288
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:41,271
Yes!

289
00:16:42,188 --> 00:16:43,898
And you don't want to change that story?

290
00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:46,234
No!

291
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,778
Why?

292
00:16:51,364 --> 00:16:52,365
Why?

293
00:16:54,075 --> 00:16:56,202
Yeah. Why?

294
00:16:59,664 --> 00:17:00,915
I was warned about this.

295
00:17:04,502 --> 00:17:05,670
All right, fine.

296
00:17:08,048 --> 00:17:10,008
If I had that operation, uh...

297
00:17:11,593 --> 00:17:14,179
I would feel like less of a man.

298
00:17:16,181 --> 00:17:17,599
Why didn't you just say that?

299
00:17:17,682 --> 00:17:20,477
Because no man wants to say that.

300
00:17:22,812 --> 00:17:24,606
We don't even want
to admit the possibility

301
00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:26,733
that we could be less of a man.

302
00:17:28,234 --> 00:17:31,863
You don't think I'm curious
about the mango margarita? Huh?

303
00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:35,283
It looks delicious,
but I will never order one.

304
00:17:36,993 --> 00:17:38,453
Wow.

305
00:17:40,789 --> 00:17:44,709
That is some deep, ancient boy stuff.

306
00:17:46,544 --> 00:17:47,629
We think things.

307
00:17:47,712 --> 00:17:50,799
We don't tell you all the things,
but we think 'em.

308
00:17:53,051 --> 00:17:54,886
Hey, first of all,

309
00:17:54,969 --> 00:17:57,680
I would never want you to do something
that you didn't want to do.

310
00:17:58,598 --> 00:18:02,936
And second of all,
you could never be less of a man to me.

311
00:18:04,854 --> 00:18:07,148
-Really?
-Really.

312
00:18:08,858 --> 00:18:11,402
[both chuckle]

313
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:14,864
You know, uh...

314
00:18:16,157 --> 00:18:17,450
it's windy today.

315
00:18:19,828 --> 00:18:23,706
And when I was running home,
trying to keep my dress down...

316
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:30,213
it occurred to me
that I may have overreacted a little bit.

317
00:18:30,296 --> 00:18:32,173
-A lot.
-A lot.

318
00:18:36,386 --> 00:18:37,387
I love you.

319
00:18:38,721 --> 00:18:39,848
I love you, too.

320
00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:41,224
[both chuckle]

321
00:18:42,642 --> 00:18:44,435
But we still can't have sex.

322
00:18:44,519 --> 00:18:46,104
I know.

323
00:18:46,187 --> 00:18:47,313
[sighs]

324
00:18:48,606 --> 00:18:51,025
But what's our second-favorite thing
to do in the bedroom?

325
00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:53,945
We can watch <i>House Hunters.</i>

326
00:18:57,365 --> 00:18:58,491
Okay.

327
00:18:58,575 --> 00:19:03,079
Hey, but you can't hug me when they find
wood floors under the carpet,

328
00:19:03,163 --> 00:19:04,581
or we might have a fourth kid.

329
00:19:09,419 --> 00:19:11,796
But it turns me on so much.

330
00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:17,927
You don't look so good.

331
00:19:19,304 --> 00:19:21,264
I had another nookie-free night.

332
00:19:22,891 --> 00:19:24,475
I'm going crazy.

333
00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:28,354
I'm like a racehorse stuck in a barn.

334
00:19:29,939 --> 00:19:32,233
I know what you mean.
It's like the Olympics.

335
00:19:32,317 --> 00:19:35,528
If I don't get it every two years,
I feel like I missed something.

336
00:19:36,362 --> 00:19:38,615
Adam? Adam,
I just got off the phone with my doctor--

337
00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:41,910
Oh. Lowell, you have to go. Now!

338
00:19:41,993 --> 00:19:43,494
Now? Why?

339
00:19:45,788 --> 00:19:48,791
Because all your stuff's out there.
Come on! Come on.

340
00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:51,377
-Come on, come on.
-This keeps happening to me.

341
00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:54,547
-[door closes]
-What? What? What is it?

342
00:19:54,631 --> 00:19:59,344
The doctor got my test results back,
and my headaches aren't from the pill.

343
00:19:59,427 --> 00:20:01,221
It's from too much coffee! Yeah.

344
00:20:01,304 --> 00:20:03,640
Turns out I have
a horrible caffeine addiction!

345
00:20:03,723 --> 00:20:05,141
How awesome is that?

346
00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:06,768
So awesome!

347
00:20:07,852 --> 00:20:09,270
Let's celebrate. Where's your pills?

348
00:20:09,354 --> 00:20:10,855
Already took two. Kids are at school.

349
00:20:10,939 --> 00:20:14,442
-I'll race you upstairs.
-Okay. Wait, wait, wait.

350
00:20:14,525 --> 00:20:16,444
-What?
-Wait, wait, wait.

351
00:20:16,527 --> 00:20:17,612
What is that for?

352
00:20:17,695 --> 00:20:19,572
You know, just for fun.

353
00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:23,368
You be the sexy nurse, and I'll be the guy

354
00:20:23,451 --> 00:20:25,662
who just woke up from a coma
and forgot how to have sex.

355
00:20:25,745 --> 00:20:28,122
Oh, let's go. Oh!

356
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,835
[upbeat music playing]