1
00:00:02,719 --> 00:00:04,503
So, Dad, you wanted to talk
about our annual trip

2
00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:05,635
to the cabin?That's right.

3
00:00:05,678 --> 00:00:07,637
I've been organizing it
for 15 years,

4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,508
but now it's time
for me to step aside

5
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,684
and pick one of my boys
to be the new trip captain.

6
00:00:11,728 --> 00:00:12,946
Donny...

7
00:00:12,990 --> 00:00:15,340
Of course.I knew he'd pick me.

8
00:00:15,384 --> 00:00:16,733
...congratulate your brother.

9
00:00:16,776 --> 00:00:19,431
What?I'm the new captain?

10
00:00:20,432 --> 00:00:22,434
And I get the hat?

11
00:00:22,478 --> 00:00:24,784
We should take a picture.
Me, happy. Don, mad.

12
00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:28,745
I'm the oldest.
I should get it.

13
00:00:28,788 --> 00:00:31,574
Yeah, exactly. In the picture,
you should look just like that.

14
00:00:31,617 --> 00:00:33,532
JOE:
Donny,

15
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,230
I'm not saying
he'll be better at it,

16
00:00:35,273 --> 00:00:36,622
but he'll be better at it.

17
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:38,842
Prove me right, boy.

18
00:00:38,885 --> 00:00:40,713
Oh, Dad, I am honored.

19
00:00:40,757 --> 00:00:43,412
I won't let you down. This will
be the best trip we ever had.

20
00:00:43,455 --> 00:00:45,979
This is unfair. I'd like
to lodge a complaint.

21
00:00:46,023 --> 00:00:48,678
All complaints should be filed
with the trip captain.

22
00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:51,855
Adam...

23
00:00:51,898 --> 00:00:54,379
Complaint denied. Next?

24
00:00:56,294 --> 00:00:58,122
Welcome to the first meeting
of the first annual

25
00:00:58,166 --> 00:01:01,865
"Adam Burns being in charge
of the 15th annual guys' trip."

26
00:01:01,908 --> 00:01:05,651
Confusing name for a meeting.
I should be captain.

27
00:01:05,695 --> 00:01:07,436
I've already put
a lot of thought into this,

28
00:01:07,479 --> 00:01:09,090
and I think you'll be impressed.

29
00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:10,526
I'd like to introduce

30
00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:12,136
my secret weapon,
the thing that will take

31
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:13,616
our cabin trip
to the next level.

32
00:01:13,659 --> 00:01:15,966
This year,
I've invited Lowell.

33
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,185
Hey, cabin buddies.

34
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,536
How's he know
our secret greeting?

35
00:01:20,579 --> 00:01:22,059
I-I know it's usually just us,

36
00:01:22,103 --> 00:01:24,322
but, Dad,
he's a great cook,

37
00:01:24,366 --> 00:01:26,281
and I know you like
a nice, hot meal.

38
00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:28,979
Plus, he's already agreed
to read Lonesome Doveto you

39
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,546
while you fall asleep.

40
00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:32,504
We're not accepting
new members.

41
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:34,767
I've brought you
a sample of my cooking.

42
00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,769
Six different sausages.

43
00:01:36,813 --> 00:01:37,683
He's in.

44
00:01:37,727 --> 00:01:39,685
Yes.

45
00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,861
I'm impressed. You're off
to a good start, son.

46
00:01:41,905 --> 00:01:44,386
Hear that, Don?
I'm off to a good start.

47
00:01:44,429 --> 00:01:46,692
Is your head getting cold
without a hat on it?

48
00:01:47,737 --> 00:01:49,304
I always hoped
you guys would invite me.

49
00:01:49,347 --> 00:01:50,696
I can't believe I'm finally in.

50
00:01:50,740 --> 00:01:52,524
Now, it's not all
fun and games, Lowell.

51
00:01:52,568 --> 00:01:54,178
There are a couple of rules.
Dad?

52
00:01:54,222 --> 00:01:56,876
Number one:
if there's a bear attack,

53
00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,053
we escape by seniority,
so you're last man out.

54
00:02:01,011 --> 00:02:02,404
Try and put up a fight

55
00:02:02,447 --> 00:02:04,667
so we have time
to get to the truck.

56
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:06,843
And number two: no wives.

57
00:02:06,886 --> 00:02:09,802
This is a chance
for us men to bond.Mm.

58
00:02:09,846 --> 00:02:11,630
To tell stories. To dig a hole

59
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:13,937
and try and get Don
to fall into it.

60
00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:17,419
It's a very special time.

61
00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:19,247
Well, I don't have to worry
about telling my wife

62
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,292
because I'm single now;
and if your wives ask,

63
00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:24,687
I'll just say, "Sorry, ladies.
This is a guys' trip."

64
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:27,255
No, no, no. You can never
call it a guys' trip.

65
00:02:27,298 --> 00:02:29,996
He's out. It's too risky.

66
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,781
Calm down.
He just doesn't know the system.

67
00:02:31,824 --> 00:02:32,782
Okay?[exhales]

68
00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:34,218
If we call it
a guys' trip,

69
00:02:34,262 --> 00:02:35,828
our wives will want to go.

70
00:02:35,872 --> 00:02:37,134
They can't help it.

71
00:02:37,178 --> 00:02:39,745
It's a reflex,
like spitting out light beer.

72
00:02:40,964 --> 00:02:43,227
We have to execute
perfect wife management.

73
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:46,056
Also known as lying.

74
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,493
Donny boils it down nicely.

75
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:50,234
Not a guys' trip, got it.

76
00:02:50,278 --> 00:02:52,236
I'll just tell your wives
it's a regular trip

77
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,846
that sounds like a lot of fun.

78
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,848
Oh, you also can't call it fun.

79
00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,676
They don't like the idea
of us having fun.

80
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,156
That's what
a wedding is,

81
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,289
the guy promising
never to have fun again.

82
00:03:01,332 --> 00:03:02,725
ADAM:
So we tell our wives

83
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:05,815
how boring it is.
I tell Andi all we do is fish.

84
00:03:05,858 --> 00:03:07,295
And then I made up a story

85
00:03:07,338 --> 00:03:09,688
about how I have to put
sunscreen on Don's back

86
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:12,256
because he only fishes topless.

87
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:13,953
I'm disgusting.

88
00:03:14,824 --> 00:03:16,173
And then
to seal the deal,

89
00:03:16,217 --> 00:03:17,957
I tell Andi, "You're
more than welcome to come.

90
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:19,872
It's not like
it's a guys' trip."

91
00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:23,006
But I've made it sound so
boring, she doesn't want to go.

92
00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:26,009
Then she feels sorry for me
and makes me lasagna.

93
00:03:26,052 --> 00:03:27,924
Wife management.

94
00:03:27,967 --> 00:03:29,882
I'm learning a lot.

95
00:03:29,926 --> 00:03:32,842
Maybe I'd still be married
if I just lied to my wife more.

96
00:03:32,885 --> 00:03:35,801
Well, now you'll be ready
for lucky lady number two.

97
00:03:35,845 --> 00:03:38,195
Or number one,
as far as she'll know.

98
00:03:40,893 --> 00:03:42,939
Hey, have you seen my extra
camouflage sleeping bag?

99
00:03:42,982 --> 00:03:46,334
How could I? [chuckles]

100
00:03:46,377 --> 00:03:48,553
[laughs]: Yeah.
I need it for Lowell.

101
00:03:48,597 --> 00:03:49,989
Lowell's going
on the cabin trip?

102
00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,643
Mm-hmm.That sounds fun.

103
00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:53,819
No, not... no, not fun.

104
00:03:53,863 --> 00:03:56,866
Boring. Remember how boring
I tell you it is?

105
00:03:56,909 --> 00:04:00,348
The fishing,
the-the topless Don.

106
00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:02,524
Yeah, well, that part
doesn't sound great.No.

107
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,439
It's not.

108
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:07,746
But like I say every year,
you're always welcome to come.

109
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,488
Okay. I'll go.

110
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,926
You'll what?

111
00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:17,756
Yeah, I mean, if Lowell's going,
maybe it won't be so boring.

112
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,889
I mean, he likes
board games and hikes

113
00:04:19,932 --> 00:04:21,760
and songs around the piano.

114
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:24,110
[chuckles]:
There's no piano.

115
00:04:24,154 --> 00:04:25,895
Plus, you can't
sing in the woods.

116
00:04:25,938 --> 00:04:27,288
It confuses the birds.

117
00:04:27,331 --> 00:04:30,291
Aw, you're sweet,
but I know you want me there

118
00:04:30,334 --> 00:04:32,118
because you always say
I'm welcome to come.

119
00:04:32,162 --> 00:04:34,817
Plus, you said
it's always so boring,

120
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:38,342
and what could be more fun
than adding me?

121
00:04:38,386 --> 00:04:40,823
I did say all those things.

122
00:04:42,172 --> 00:04:43,347
Look at you.

123
00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:45,001
Listening to what I say

124
00:04:45,044 --> 00:04:47,438
and then bringing it
up later. [chuckles]

125
00:04:48,613 --> 00:04:50,441
Oh, every day's
a surprise.

126
00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:54,315
♪

127
00:05:03,541 --> 00:05:05,587
Andi's going? What
happened to your system?

128
00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:07,937
We had to hear you gas on
about it for half an hour,

129
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:09,417
and then you blew it.

130
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,157
Now all our wives
are gonna want to go.

131
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:12,681
Can I take over now?
Where's the hat?

132
00:05:12,724 --> 00:05:14,247
No, no, no.

133
00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:15,597
This is my first year
as captain.

134
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,338
There were bound to be
some bumps.

135
00:05:17,381 --> 00:05:19,383
This is just
a small wife management issue.

136
00:05:19,427 --> 00:05:21,516
Okay? When I told her
Lowell was going,

137
00:05:21,559 --> 00:05:22,734
she said it sounded fun.

138
00:05:22,778 --> 00:05:24,693
Who said "fun"?
You said "fun"?

139
00:05:24,736 --> 00:05:27,478
I didn't say "fun."Somebody said "fun," and
somebody's gonna pay for it.

140
00:05:27,522 --> 00:05:30,394
I didn't say "fun."
I just said "Lowell."

141
00:05:30,438 --> 00:05:32,178
Well, then,
there's an easy solution.

142
00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:33,397
Uninvite Lowell.

143
00:05:33,441 --> 00:05:36,139
Sorry, kid,
but I barely know you.

144
00:05:36,182 --> 00:05:37,401
No!

145
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,403
You screwed this up,
you fix it, mister.

146
00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:41,362
I'm going on this trip.
I already went out

147
00:05:41,405 --> 00:05:43,755
and got all the shots
Don told me I needed.

148
00:05:43,799 --> 00:05:45,409
What shots?

149
00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:47,019
Why invite the new guy

150
00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:48,586
if you can't goof around
a little?

151
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:51,502
Well, you need to turn
this thing around and fast.

152
00:05:51,546 --> 00:05:52,851
How?

153
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,418
Well, boring's
not gonna work anymore

154
00:05:54,462 --> 00:05:55,854
because Andi knows
I'm a delight.

155
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:58,335
Fun follows me
like a rainbow follows rain.

156
00:05:59,771 --> 00:06:01,033
Just uninvite Andi.

157
00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:03,427
I can't do that.
I want to stay married.

158
00:06:03,471 --> 00:06:06,561
Well, then, our only choice
is to call the whole thing off.

159
00:06:06,604 --> 00:06:07,953
What?

160
00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:10,086
I don't want to be the guy
that killed the trip.

161
00:06:10,129 --> 00:06:13,132
Captain Trip Killer seems upset.

162
00:06:13,176 --> 00:06:15,439
What? I can fix this, okay?
I-I'll figure out a way

163
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:17,485
to convince Andi
she doesn't want to go.

164
00:06:17,528 --> 00:06:18,703
Well, then,
you better get to her

165
00:06:18,747 --> 00:06:20,139
before she blabs to our wives.

166
00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:21,576
Then they'llwant to go.

167
00:06:21,619 --> 00:06:23,969
You heard him. Quit talking
about it and go do it.

168
00:06:24,013 --> 00:06:26,450
If this thing goes south,
it's on you, buddy boy.

169
00:06:26,494 --> 00:06:29,061
Hey, stretch, get me a drink.

170
00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:31,455
I'm starting
to like you.

171
00:06:31,499 --> 00:06:34,763
Adam, you're back to last man
out if there's a bear attack.

172
00:06:34,806 --> 00:06:37,287
Bears.

173
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,072
That's it. Andi hates bears.
I can use that.

174
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:42,858
Andi, I was so excited
you're coming on the trip,

175
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:44,686
I got you some
essential supplies.

176
00:06:44,729 --> 00:06:48,516
First thing you will need
for sure:bear spray.

177
00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:52,955
Bear spray?

178
00:06:52,998 --> 00:06:54,652
Oh, yeah,
there's bears everywhere.

179
00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:56,785
You just got to hope
you run out of bears

180
00:06:56,828 --> 00:06:59,527
before you run out of spray.
[growls, chuckles]

181
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,746
Yeah, but I hate bears.

182
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:03,618
I didn't know that.[scoffs]

183
00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:05,533
Okay, here's a tip.

184
00:07:05,576 --> 00:07:08,013
If they chase you,
run into the lake.

185
00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:11,016
Then all you have to worry
about are the leeches.

186
00:07:13,018 --> 00:07:15,412
I hate leeches, too.

187
00:07:15,456 --> 00:07:19,590
Man, I am learning
so much about you.

188
00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:21,984
You know, you never mentioned
any of this.

189
00:07:22,027 --> 00:07:24,029
All you ever said
was it was boring.

190
00:07:24,073 --> 00:07:26,467
Well, there are
long periods of boredom,

191
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:28,947
but they're interrupted
by moments of pure terror!

192
00:07:30,253 --> 00:07:32,647
I can't wait to
share that with you.[sighs]

193
00:07:34,344 --> 00:07:37,521
Well, you know, honey, the trip
doesn't have to be like this.

194
00:07:37,565 --> 00:07:39,610
I went to the lake website
to check the weather,

195
00:07:39,654 --> 00:07:43,527
and, um, it turns out
that there is a nice hotel

196
00:07:43,571 --> 00:07:46,878
with a piano in the lobby
for sing-alongs. [chuckles]

197
00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,227
[gasps]

198
00:07:48,271 --> 00:07:49,707
I'm gonna order the sheet music

199
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,579
for Legally Blonde:
The Musical.[chuckles]

200
00:07:51,622 --> 00:07:53,668
So, it's official.

201
00:07:53,711 --> 00:07:56,453
You're going. Fantastic.

202
00:07:56,497 --> 00:07:57,672
[chuckles]

203
00:07:57,715 --> 00:07:59,282
Uh, but I definitely think

204
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:00,936
we shouldn't tell
my mom and Marcy

205
00:08:00,979 --> 00:08:03,025
because I have a feeling
they'd hate it.

206
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:06,028
You can trust me.
I'm a captain.

207
00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,638
Oh.

208
00:08:07,682 --> 00:08:09,901
Well, that could be a problem.

209
00:08:09,945 --> 00:08:11,642
If you're going,
I'm going.

210
00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:13,514
I'm going, too.

211
00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:15,646
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

212
00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:17,256
[chuckles]: Yeah.

213
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,781
I wonder if the guys know
their wives are going yet.

214
00:08:19,824 --> 00:08:21,696
Yeah. I mean,
Marcy and Bev were so excited,

215
00:08:21,739 --> 00:08:23,349
they ran right home
to tell them.

216
00:08:23,393 --> 00:08:25,134
Oh.

217
00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:27,049
Huh. Yep.

218
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:29,573
Ten missed calls. [chuckles]Oh.

219
00:08:29,617 --> 00:08:31,140
What the hell did you do?

220
00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:33,446
Marcy already packed
a suitcase full of board games.

221
00:08:33,490 --> 00:08:35,361
They're gonna
Pictionary us to death.

222
00:08:35,405 --> 00:08:38,016
All of a sudden, being divorced
is working in my favor.

223
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,365
Who's crying now?

224
00:08:39,409 --> 00:08:41,193
Well, still me,
but only in the shower.

225
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:44,153
This whole thing
has gone catawampus.

226
00:08:44,196 --> 00:08:46,721
I guess you were right.
We just have to cancel.

227
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:48,592
[sighs]Too late. If we cancel now,

228
00:08:48,636 --> 00:08:50,725
the wives will know
it's because they're going.

229
00:08:50,768 --> 00:08:52,030
Then it's official.

230
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:55,164
Adam ruined everything,
forever and ever.

231
00:08:55,207 --> 00:08:56,731
What do you want me to do, huh?

232
00:08:56,774 --> 00:08:59,037
Walk into the lake
and let the leeches take me?

233
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,735
Or should I dunk myself in honey

234
00:09:00,778 --> 00:09:03,520
and let the bears
have their way with me?

235
00:09:03,564 --> 00:09:04,913
There's a lot of ways
you can do it.

236
00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:06,305
Don't just think of two.

237
00:09:06,349 --> 00:09:09,787
I was hoping someone would say,
"Don't feel bad."

238
00:09:10,745 --> 00:09:13,138
Even if you said it now
would help.

239
00:09:13,182 --> 00:09:16,533
Wait, I have an idea.Let's hear it.

240
00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:18,622
The only way
to salvage this thing

241
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,668
is to uninvite all the wives.

242
00:09:20,711 --> 00:09:24,193
Then we each blame it
on the other two guys.

243
00:09:24,236 --> 00:09:26,848
You can deliver the hat
to my house later.

244
00:09:26,891 --> 00:09:29,894
That won't work.
They talk to each other.

245
00:09:29,938 --> 00:09:32,157
They'll realize
we were just lying.

246
00:09:32,201 --> 00:09:34,377
No, they won't bring it up
'cause they'll feel bad

247
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,727
the other ladies' husbands
are so rotten.

248
00:09:36,771 --> 00:09:38,729
I get it. Like,
if Marcy thinks

249
00:09:38,773 --> 00:09:40,165
Andi and Bev have
rotten husbands,

250
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:41,950
she won't bring it
up unless they do.

251
00:09:41,993 --> 00:09:44,387
But they won't bring it up
because each of them thinks

252
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:46,128
the other two have
rotten husbands.

253
00:09:46,171 --> 00:09:49,174
What they don't know
is we're all rotten.

254
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:52,613
Damn, that's good.

255
00:09:53,788 --> 00:09:56,355
What? That'll never work.

256
00:09:56,399 --> 00:09:58,357
You don't see it because
this is a whole new level

257
00:09:58,401 --> 00:09:59,881
of wife management.

258
00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:03,711
You're playing checkers
while Donny is playing chess.

259
00:10:03,754 --> 00:10:05,713
[scoffs]
I don't think so.

260
00:10:05,756 --> 00:10:07,453
I've played chess with Don.

261
00:10:07,497 --> 00:10:10,543
He makes clip-clop noises
when he moves the horse.

262
00:10:10,587 --> 00:10:12,154
Look, we've got a plan.

263
00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:14,156
Are you in or
are you out?

264
00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:17,986
Well, if you guys are gonna
uninvite Mom and Marcy,

265
00:10:18,029 --> 00:10:19,770
then I guess
I'll uninvite Andi.

266
00:10:19,814 --> 00:10:24,253
Good. Now tell your brother
thanks for saving the trip.

267
00:10:24,296 --> 00:10:27,604
Dad says I say,
"Thanks for saving the trip."

268
00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:28,779
Adam.

269
00:10:28,823 --> 00:10:31,303
I said it. What'd I say?

270
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,699
Hey, look at you.
[chuckles]: Hoo-hoo!

271
00:10:35,743 --> 00:10:39,311
Someone fell asleep
in the foxy machine.

272
00:10:40,704 --> 00:10:42,445
I got you something.

273
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:44,360
What's the occasion?

274
00:10:44,403 --> 00:10:46,362
No occasion. Open it.

275
00:10:46,405 --> 00:10:47,842
[chuckles]:
Oh.

276
00:10:47,885 --> 00:10:49,147
[gasps]

277
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,801
Oh, my gosh,
it's beautiful.

278
00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:53,978
I know. Yeah.
Read the card.

279
00:10:54,022 --> 00:10:55,850
[chuckles]

280
00:10:55,893 --> 00:10:57,808
"Roses are red,
violets are blue.

281
00:10:57,852 --> 00:11:00,245
You can't come
to the cabin."

282
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,554
"And I love you."

283
00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:07,688
You-you stopped
before the rhyme.

284
00:11:07,731 --> 00:11:09,951
That's what makes it sweet.

285
00:11:09,994 --> 00:11:14,042
I can't believe you just
uninvited me from your trip.

286
00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:16,131
Okay, look,
I wanted you to go,

287
00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:18,742
but Dad and Don said,
"No wives on the trip."

288
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:21,484
So, if you want
to blame someone, blame them.

289
00:11:21,527 --> 00:11:23,051
I was outvoted.

290
00:11:23,094 --> 00:11:26,619
Democracy. [scoffs]
Good on paper.

291
00:11:26,663 --> 00:11:29,492
So it's your dad
and Don's fault?

292
00:11:29,535 --> 00:11:32,582
Yes. That is
the most important point here.

293
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,976
They're bad.

294
00:11:35,019 --> 00:11:37,326
I buy you bracelets.

295
00:11:38,806 --> 00:11:40,721
Well, I guess I
can't be mad at you

296
00:11:40,764 --> 00:11:42,505
because they're
jackasses.

297
00:11:42,548 --> 00:11:44,768
No, you can't.

298
00:11:44,812 --> 00:11:46,335
Poor Marcy and Bev.

299
00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:48,903
I know.

300
00:11:48,946 --> 00:11:50,600
You, uh...

301
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,950
You're not gonna say anything
to them, are you?

302
00:11:52,994 --> 00:11:56,606
How could I? I
feel bad for them.

303
00:11:56,649 --> 00:12:00,175
You know, you're so
understanding about this,

304
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:03,047
[chuckles]: you don't
even need the bracelet.

305
00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:07,051
So I could probably
get my money back.

306
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:12,143
You keep it. Keep it!
You keep it.

307
00:12:15,059 --> 00:12:17,018
Don. [chuckles]

308
00:12:17,061 --> 00:12:19,890
I got to give it to you.
Your idea worked.

309
00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:22,980
So, here. You're the
captain now. [chuckles]

310
00:12:23,024 --> 00:12:26,331
Wow. This means a lot.

311
00:12:26,375 --> 00:12:29,030
You guys put a lot of stock in
a hat I got for free one night

312
00:12:29,073 --> 00:12:31,032
after I finished
a three-pound lobster.

313
00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:32,816
Hey.

314
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,818
So how'd it go when you guys
uninvited Mom and Marcy?

315
00:12:34,862 --> 00:12:37,647
Check out the coats we
got for the cabin trip.

316
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,909
BEV:
Oh, we can't wait.

317
00:12:38,953 --> 00:12:41,042
We are all gonna
have so much fun.

318
00:12:41,085 --> 00:12:42,478
[laughs]

319
00:12:44,088 --> 00:12:46,482
[laughs]
Are you kidding me?!

320
00:12:46,525 --> 00:12:49,354
I-I don't know if this is
gonna make a difference,

321
00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:52,096
but we didn't do that
thing we said before.Mm.

322
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:54,577
That makes a huge difference!

323
00:12:55,883 --> 00:12:58,668
Dad, we agreed at the meeting.
What happened?

324
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,539
Don called a meeting
after the meeting

325
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:03,238
and said we'd look better
if you were the only bad one.

326
00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,849
Well...I think it worked.

327
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:07,459
Okay, you know what?

328
00:13:07,503 --> 00:13:09,374
I don't want anything
to do with this trip.

329
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:12,116
You two go to the woods and
have your secret meetings, okay?

330
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,553
Just remember, I'm the only guy
that ever brings toilet paper!

331
00:13:14,597 --> 00:13:17,469
Oh, and you know what?

332
00:13:17,513 --> 00:13:19,428
I'm telling Andi everything!

333
00:13:19,471 --> 00:13:20,951
Everything!

334
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,998
[door closes]

335
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,000
Damn it, Donny!
Now we're screwed!

336
00:13:26,043 --> 00:13:29,003
You said this would be funny.
It wasn't funny at all!

337
00:13:29,046 --> 00:13:32,963
Well, I guess everyone's sense
of humor is a little different.

338
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,008
Wha...?

339
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:44,105
Hold on. You've been lying about
this cabin trip for 15 years?

340
00:13:44,148 --> 00:13:46,759
Well, not entirely.

341
00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:49,240
There is a cabin.

342
00:13:49,284 --> 00:13:51,547
But if you wanted it
to be a guys' trip,

343
00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:52,853
why didn't you
just tell me?

344
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:55,029
Because I know
if you hear "guys' trip,"

345
00:13:55,072 --> 00:13:56,726
you'll feel left out,

346
00:13:56,769 --> 00:14:00,904
and I try to handle it nicely
every year so nobody gets upset.

347
00:14:00,948 --> 00:14:03,037
I call it "wife management."

348
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,647
[laughs]
Oh, you do, do you?

349
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:06,344
Yeah.[both laugh]

350
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,130
Yeah, I don't
like that phrase.Yeah. No, no, no, no.

351
00:14:09,173 --> 00:14:12,089
"Wife management."
[scoffs]

352
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:14,439
Although,
it does sound familiar.

353
00:14:14,483 --> 00:14:16,833
Where have I heard that?

354
00:14:16,877 --> 00:14:19,792
I'm glad we're going,
but I'm just not sure

355
00:14:19,836 --> 00:14:21,707
about staying in
some dirty old cabin.

356
00:14:21,751 --> 00:14:23,753
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't worry about that.

357
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,581
I already found a great hotel.

358
00:14:25,624 --> 00:14:26,756
Oh.I'll just tell Adam

359
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,714
that I was looking
at the weather up there,

360
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:31,021
and I just happened
to find it.

361
00:14:31,065 --> 00:14:34,851
That's called
"husband management."

362
00:14:34,895 --> 00:14:37,419
No, never heard
anything like it.

363
00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:41,118
But, you know, 'cause
I'm so forgiving,

364
00:14:41,162 --> 00:14:43,686
I won't make a big
deal out of it.

365
00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:45,601
Thanks, honey.

366
00:14:45,644 --> 00:14:48,299
Yeah, but I got to say,
you told a lot of lies.

367
00:14:48,343 --> 00:14:50,649
It was the pressure
of being captain.

368
00:14:50,693 --> 00:14:52,260
You know how it is
with Dad.

369
00:14:52,303 --> 00:14:54,784
I'm always playing
second fiddle to Don.

370
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,526
But for the first time,
Dad picked me,

371
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,702
and I screwed it all up.

372
00:14:59,745 --> 00:15:01,573
I was so busy
trying to save it,

373
00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:04,489
I put the trip ahead of you,
and I'm sorry.

374
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:06,883
I understand.
Thank you.

375
00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:09,146
Your jackassery.

376
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:12,193
Yeah. Came around
from behind on that one.

377
00:15:12,236 --> 00:15:14,673
[chuckles]:
Yeah. Yeah.

378
00:15:14,717 --> 00:15:17,502
But, you know, it doesn't matter
anymore. I'm not going.

379
00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:20,897
Dad and Don are buddies, and
I should just stop chasing this.

380
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,465
What are you doing here?

381
00:15:23,508 --> 00:15:25,815
We have something to say.

382
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,860
Don, apologize
to your brother.

383
00:15:27,904 --> 00:15:31,386
[sighs]
Dad says I'm sorry.

384
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:33,823
No. You're sorry,
and I'm sorry.

385
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,912
Now give him
the damn hat.

386
00:15:35,956 --> 00:15:38,654
Sorry I screwed you over.

387
00:15:38,697 --> 00:15:41,439
It was funny at the time,
then funny right after,

388
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,224
then Dad said
it wasn't funny.

389
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,835
Then driving over here,
it got funny again.

390
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,793
But now I feel bad.

391
00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:51,841
This whole thing was my fault.

392
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,409
I always liked to foster
competition between you boys,

393
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,324
because I thought
it'd make you stronger,

394
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:59,631
but in the end, you need to know
you can depend on your family,

395
00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:01,633
and we let you down.

396
00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:04,941
Wow. Thanks, Dad.

397
00:16:04,985 --> 00:16:08,727
Plus, I know deep in my heart,

398
00:16:08,771 --> 00:16:12,775
you're the one who's gonna visit
me in the home, and not Donny.

399
00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:17,823
You got me there, Pop.
Those places smell weird.

400
00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:20,130
And just to make
everything fair,

401
00:16:20,174 --> 00:16:23,133
we told our wives
everything, too.

402
00:16:23,177 --> 00:16:24,787
How'd that go?

403
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:27,659
Bad.
Thanks for asking.

404
00:16:27,703 --> 00:16:29,661
The trip is dead.

405
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:32,621
Here, you should
have this.

406
00:16:32,664 --> 00:16:34,666
You'll always be
the captain.

407
00:16:36,016 --> 00:16:38,409
All right, come on.
I'll fix it.

408
00:16:40,846 --> 00:16:42,587
[chuckling]

409
00:16:42,631 --> 00:16:44,633
What are you
laughing at?

410
00:16:44,676 --> 00:16:46,852
Sorry. It just
got funny again.Oh.

411
00:16:46,896 --> 00:16:48,898
[chuckling]

412
00:16:51,248 --> 00:16:53,381
Oh, look.

413
00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:55,470
Our lying husbands are here.

414
00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:57,124
Oh. And they brought

415
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:59,865
Captain Pants On Fire with them.

416
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:03,434
How could you, Adam?How could I?

417
00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:05,654
Yes. All this happened
on your watch,

418
00:17:05,697 --> 00:17:08,265
so I'm gonna ask you
the same question I asked you

419
00:17:08,309 --> 00:17:12,095
in the sixth grade when I walked
in on you with that magazine.

420
00:17:12,139 --> 00:17:14,445
Is this who you want to be?

421
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:16,534
Okay, Mom,

422
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:20,364
I don't think everybody needs
to hear that story. [chuckles]

423
00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:23,889
Listen, I know we're
disappointed in our husbands,

424
00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:26,022
but the thing is, it-it
started out kind of innocently.

425
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:27,545
All they wanted
was a guys' trip,

426
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:28,938
and they were
too scared to tell us.

427
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,722
Is this true, Don?

428
00:17:30,766 --> 00:17:32,289
I amvery afraid of you.

429
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:34,509
What about you?

430
00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:36,076
I need a guys' trip.

431
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,121
I've been saving up dirty jokes
for 11 months,

432
00:17:38,165 --> 00:17:40,254
and I got to get 'em out of me.

433
00:17:40,297 --> 00:17:43,300
Look at it this way. I mean,
yes, we could be mad at them,

434
00:17:43,344 --> 00:17:45,955
but that's really
"been there, done that," right?

435
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,523
Our other option is
to just let 'em go.

436
00:17:48,566 --> 00:17:50,002
Why would we do that?

437
00:17:50,046 --> 00:17:52,962
Because then wecan go
on a girls' trip.

438
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,920
Ooh, I'm interested.

439
00:17:54,964 --> 00:17:56,487
That's a great idea.

440
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,010
You should do that.

441
00:17:58,054 --> 00:17:59,751
I vote "not mad"
girls' trip.

442
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:02,014
How come we've never
been on a girls' trip?

443
00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:03,973
We didn't want
to hurt their feelings.
Oh.

444
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,975
Oh. Well, that doesn't
matter anymore.

445
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,846
Yeah, you guys go
to the cabin.

446
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,239
Yeah, have fun.

447
00:18:09,283 --> 00:18:10,806
This is great.

448
00:18:10,849 --> 00:18:12,677
Look at that.
Everybody wins.Huh.

449
00:18:12,721 --> 00:18:14,940
We get our guys' trip,
and our wives are happy.

450
00:18:14,984 --> 00:18:16,986
Mm.You fixed it, babe.

451
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,031
It's kind of like
it never happened.

452
00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:20,990
[chuckles]:
Oh, it happened.

453
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,731
And I'm keeping the bracelet.

454
00:18:22,774 --> 00:18:25,995
Oh. Okay, but if you change
your mind within 30 days,

455
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,041
just let me know--
Okay, keep it, keep it, keep it.

456
00:18:29,085 --> 00:18:31,479
Okay. Let's start
planning our trip.

457
00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:32,915
We can go anywhere we want.

458
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:35,135
Ooh. How about
the Wisconsin Dells?

459
00:18:35,178 --> 00:18:36,875
MEN:
Ah.

460
00:18:36,919 --> 00:18:39,400
Or a spa.MEN: Ooh.

461
00:18:39,443 --> 00:18:42,620
Or... Vegas!MEN: What?

462
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,187
That's the one.That one. That wins.

463
00:18:44,231 --> 00:18:46,320
Then let's go book it.
Girls' trip!

464
00:18:46,363 --> 00:18:47,930
What just happened?

465
00:18:47,973 --> 00:18:49,975
Vegas?
Now their thing is better.

466
00:18:50,019 --> 00:18:52,152
Yeah. At least
when we go on a fun trip,

467
00:18:52,195 --> 00:18:54,284
we have the decency
to lie about it.Yeah.

468
00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:02,771
Well, that was a
great girls' trip.

469
00:19:02,814 --> 00:19:04,642
Do you know
that we single-handedly

470
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,992
changed the all-you-can-drink
policy at two different bars?

471
00:19:07,036 --> 00:19:10,213
I still can't believe that
Bev won a mechanical bull rodeo.

472
00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:11,910
Oh, yeah.

473
00:19:12,563 --> 00:19:15,087
That ThighMaster
really paid off.

474
00:19:16,176 --> 00:19:17,612
Hey.

475
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:19,048
Hey, you're home.Yeah.

476
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,571
How was your trip?

477
00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:22,138
Pretty great. Yeah.

478
00:19:22,182 --> 00:19:25,141
I was the only guy
that brought toilet paper.

479
00:19:25,185 --> 00:19:27,665
That got me
the hat back.Mm.

480
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,885
And I fell in the hole they dug.

481
00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:32,409
Well done, guys.Yeah.

482
00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:34,063
We only ran into
one problem.

483
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,935
Lowell had a bad reaction
to the bear spray.

484
00:19:36,979 --> 00:19:37,936
DON:
Yeah.

485
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:40,461
[women gasping]

486
00:19:40,504 --> 00:19:42,071
He thought you were supposed

487
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,507
to spray it on yourself
like sunscreen.

488
00:19:44,682 --> 00:19:47,772
I could hear the bears laughing.

489
00:19:47,816 --> 00:19:49,383
[laughs]
That was us.

490
00:19:49,426 --> 00:19:51,341
Yeah. Hey, so,

491
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:52,821
how was your girls' trip?

492
00:19:52,864 --> 00:19:54,083
Maybe we should go
with you next time.

493
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,912
Oh. Uh, yeah, you
don't want to do that.

494
00:19:56,955 --> 00:19:58,348
It was really boring.

495
00:19:58,392 --> 00:20:00,089
Captioning sponsored by
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496
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,525
Captioned by
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