1
00:00:03,198 --> 00:00:04,590
Here's to the sale
of our flip house.

2
00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:07,245
Much like me, it looks
good on the outside,

3
00:00:07,289 --> 00:00:09,117
but it has a
questionable foundation.

4
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,379
[laughter]Cheers.

5
00:00:10,422 --> 00:00:12,381
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
don't jinx this thing.

6
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:14,122
The buyers can still
back out until

7
00:00:14,165 --> 00:00:16,602
the end of business today,
which is in...

8
00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:19,170
four... three...

9
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:20,780
Too late, suckers![laughter]

10
00:00:20,824 --> 00:00:22,086
Whoo!

11
00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,566
They're stuck with it!

12
00:00:23,609 --> 00:00:26,090
I mean, good for them.
It's a lovely home.

13
00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:29,267
All right, Don and I
have a big surprise.

14
00:00:29,311 --> 00:00:31,182
The house sold
for more than we expected.

15
00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:32,749
We're putting
most of the money aside

16
00:00:32,792 --> 00:00:34,229
to buy another flip, but...

17
00:00:34,272 --> 00:00:36,666
But there's enough left for
everyone to get a nice bonus.

18
00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:37,797
[gasping and oohing]

19
00:00:37,841 --> 00:00:39,799
I was gonna do
that part.

20
00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:41,192
Yeah, but I wanted to do it.

21
00:00:41,236 --> 00:00:43,890
Look how much
they like me now.

22
00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:47,068
All I ask is that you don't
do anything practical

23
00:00:47,111 --> 00:00:49,157
with the money.
Reward yourselves.

24
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,159
Like, Don and I are
using our bonuses

25
00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:53,422
to celebrate my 50th
birthday Burns style.

26
00:00:53,465 --> 00:00:54,640
Ah...![laughs]

27
00:00:54,684 --> 00:00:56,990
Whatever it is, I'm in.

28
00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:58,209
We're doing a week-long
dirt bike ride

29
00:00:58,253 --> 00:01:00,124
in Colorado down
a gnarly trail

30
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:01,647
called the
Devil's Tailpipe.

31
00:01:01,691 --> 00:01:04,737
I'm out.

32
00:01:04,781 --> 00:01:07,349
But I'd be back in
if you wanted to go

33
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:09,873
to the lake and paddle
around in a swan boat?

34
00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:12,832
Burns men don't do
swan boats, Lowell.

35
00:01:14,182 --> 00:01:16,575
You're just gonna have to
let that coupon expire.

36
00:01:18,186 --> 00:01:20,971
Sweetie? I say
this with love.

37
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,625
But, um, you're
turning 50.

38
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:24,670
I think the window
may have closed on you

39
00:01:24,714 --> 00:01:26,629
riding a motorcycle
down Satan's Butt Crack.

40
00:01:28,718 --> 00:01:30,676
Devil's Tailpipe.

41
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,070
Wow. 50, huh?

42
00:01:33,114 --> 00:01:34,158
[chuckles]

43
00:01:34,202 --> 00:01:36,378
That means you were 16
when I was born.

44
00:01:36,421 --> 00:01:39,294
You could've driven my mother
to the hospital to have me.

45
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:42,210
No more old jokes.
Got it.

46
00:01:42,253 --> 00:01:44,864
Okay, look,

47
00:01:44,908 --> 00:01:46,866
I have only
ever had two things

48
00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:49,173
on my bucket list:
the Devil's Tailpipe

49
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:51,175
and Angelina Jolie.

50
00:01:51,219 --> 00:01:53,221
Angelina's just a lady
with a bunch of kids now,

51
00:01:53,264 --> 00:01:55,179
[chuckles]: and I already
have one of those.

52
00:01:56,311 --> 00:01:58,443
I just don't want
you to get hurt.

53
00:01:58,487 --> 00:02:01,272
Well, I...What do you think about
Don going on this trip?

54
00:02:01,316 --> 00:02:02,752
I don't like it.

55
00:02:02,795 --> 00:02:04,188
Hey, best-case scenario,

56
00:02:04,232 --> 00:02:06,147
I come home
reenergized and happy.

57
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:08,714
Worst-case scenario, my
life insurance is paid

58
00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,063
and you're rich.

59
00:02:11,326 --> 00:02:13,284
Okay, I'm coming around.

60
00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:18,507
Okay, it's time
to open presents.

61
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,204
Look at all these gifts.

62
00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:22,119
You told me people were
just bringing best wishes.

63
00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:25,514
Happy birthday,
little brother.

64
00:02:25,557 --> 00:02:27,994
I wish you the best.

65
00:02:28,038 --> 00:02:30,127
That's from
me and Marcy.

66
00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:32,782
All right, hey,
Mom and Dad.

67
00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:37,308
Thanks for...
whatever this is.

68
00:02:37,352 --> 00:02:38,962
It's a sock puller-upper.

69
00:02:39,832 --> 00:02:41,182
To help you put on your socks.

70
00:02:42,444 --> 00:02:43,793
Happy birthday, son.

71
00:02:43,836 --> 00:02:45,838
You've bent over
for the last time.

72
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:51,148
I can put my own socks on.
I'm not old, I'm middle-aged.

73
00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:54,151
50 isn't middle-aged,
it's two-thirds aged.

74
00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:56,980
Happy birthday to you.

75
00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:59,200
Open mine.

76
00:02:59,243 --> 00:03:00,766
I love surprising people.

77
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:02,725
It's a GoPro camera.
I couldn't wait.

78
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,381
Andi got you a shirt.Lowell!

79
00:03:08,383 --> 00:03:12,300
This is cool! I could take
this to the Devil's Tailpipe!

80
00:03:12,343 --> 00:03:13,736
I can't believe you're
really doing that.

81
00:03:13,779 --> 00:03:16,304
Doing what?
What's the Devil's Tailpipe?

82
00:03:16,347 --> 00:03:19,481
Is it a sex club?
Oh, Adam.

83
00:03:19,524 --> 00:03:22,310
Yes, Ma, I'm going to
a sex club on my birthday.

84
00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:24,225
And I'm announcing it
in front of the whole family.

85
00:03:24,268 --> 00:03:25,313
You want to go?

86
00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:28,707
No, your son wants
to ride a motorcycle

87
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,231
down the side
of a mountain.

88
00:03:30,274 --> 00:03:32,276
And he hasn't been on
a dirt bike in years.

89
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,712
I'll be fine.

90
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:36,149
You're only as old as you feel,
and I feel like a kid.

91
00:03:36,193 --> 00:03:37,281
This morning,
I put a banana

92
00:03:37,325 --> 00:03:39,283
between two oranges
at the breakfast table

93
00:03:39,327 --> 00:03:42,199
and I laughed for ten minutes.[laughter]

94
00:03:42,243 --> 00:03:45,333
I don't get it. What's funny
about a healthy breakfast?

95
00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:49,293
Look, Adam, you know
that, as you've aged,

96
00:03:49,337 --> 00:03:50,990
you've had to give
some things up.

97
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:53,863
Even things you love.
Remember sauerkraut?

98
00:03:53,906 --> 00:03:56,126
I did love sauerkraut.Mm-hmm.

99
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,823
I miss it every damn day.

100
00:03:59,216 --> 00:04:02,263
But sauerkraut has hurt way
more people than motorcycles.

101
00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:04,439
Let him go, Andi.

102
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:05,744
Believe me.

103
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,225
A day will come when
all your husband wants to do

104
00:04:08,269 --> 00:04:11,228
is just sit on the couch.

105
00:04:11,272 --> 00:04:13,622
Where do you want
me to go, Bev?
I don't know.

106
00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:15,319
How about a nice nature walk?

107
00:04:15,363 --> 00:04:17,234
I've already taken
a nice nature walk.

108
00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:19,149
It's called Vietnam.

109
00:04:20,585 --> 00:04:23,371
♪ Happy birthday to you

110
00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:27,592
♪ Happy birthday to you

111
00:04:27,636 --> 00:04:30,856
♪ Happy birthday, dear Adam

112
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,555
♪ Happy birthday to you.

113
00:04:33,598 --> 00:04:34,599
Yeah.

114
00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:37,994
Thanks, everyone.

115
00:04:38,037 --> 00:04:40,692
Aw, um, here's
to 50 years young.

116
00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:42,825
Whoo.
Whoo!

117
00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:44,348
Ha-ha!

118
00:04:44,392 --> 00:04:46,089
Ah, oh!

119
00:04:47,612 --> 00:04:49,222
Oh.What's wrong?

120
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:50,267
[groans]

121
00:04:50,311 --> 00:04:52,051
Did you just throw
your back out

122
00:04:52,095 --> 00:04:54,053
blowing out your
birthday candles?

123
00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:56,273
Of course not.

124
00:04:56,317 --> 00:04:58,971
I'm relishing
this precious moment.

125
00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:03,367
It's so emotional,
I think I need to be alone.

126
00:05:03,411 --> 00:05:05,587
Don, come be alone with me.

127
00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:11,984
Look at this. I'm walking
like an old guy 'cause I'm 50.

128
00:05:12,028 --> 00:05:13,551
[laughs]

129
00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:17,990
♪

130
00:05:26,608 --> 00:05:29,654
[groaning] Okay,
don't tell anyone,

131
00:05:29,698 --> 00:05:31,221
but I hurt my back.

132
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,616
I don't need to tell anyone.
You look like a boomerang.

133
00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:36,792
If Andi thinks
I'm hurt,

134
00:05:36,835 --> 00:05:39,447
there's no way she'll let me
go on our dirt bike trip.

135
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,274
You got, you got to
straighten my back out.

136
00:05:41,318 --> 00:05:42,711
All right, got it.

137
00:05:44,408 --> 00:05:46,279
[screams][grunts]

138
00:05:46,323 --> 00:05:48,064
[screams]

139
00:05:48,107 --> 00:05:49,587
[gasps]How do you feel now?

140
00:05:49,631 --> 00:05:51,284
Worse!

141
00:05:51,328 --> 00:05:52,721
Okay. Okay, well,
that's good.

142
00:05:52,764 --> 00:05:54,592
You're supposed to feel worse,
and then it gets better.

143
00:05:54,636 --> 00:05:56,681
You put me back the way I was.
I can't take this.

144
00:05:56,725 --> 00:05:58,379
[sighs] Right.

145
00:05:59,641 --> 00:06:01,730
[screams]

146
00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,122
How do you feel now?

147
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,907
Much worse.

148
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:07,126
Okay. Okay, good, good.
We're making progress.

149
00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:11,000
Okay, now you're gonna
have to trust me on this.

150
00:06:11,043 --> 00:06:13,263
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
what's the rake for?

151
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:16,658
For you to bite down on.
This is gonna hurt.

152
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:21,706
All right, let's party.

153
00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:31,977
Are you seriously pretending
to be okay right now?

154
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:35,764
Why? So you can take that trip
down Lucifer's Heinie?

155
00:06:35,807 --> 00:06:38,375
I'm not pretending.

156
00:06:38,419 --> 00:06:40,072
I have never felt better.

157
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:43,859
Which is why I will be
riding the Devil's Tailpipe.

158
00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:47,210
And your mocking names only
make me want to go more.

159
00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:50,735
Well, if you feel fine,
why don't you try out

160
00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:52,215
your birthday present
from the kids?

161
00:06:52,258 --> 00:06:54,260
Huh? [grunts]

162
00:06:58,221 --> 00:07:00,266
That's a bowling ball.

163
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,964
Yeah.

164
00:07:02,007 --> 00:07:03,531
Pick it up.

165
00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:10,494
I already have one. Don,
why don't you take it?

166
00:07:10,538 --> 00:07:11,756
Mm, I can't pick that up.

167
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,541
I, uh, I sort
of tweaked my neck

168
00:07:13,584 --> 00:07:15,804
when I was trying
to fix your...[mutters]

169
00:07:17,196 --> 00:07:18,633
...ack-bay.

170
00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:21,723
Nice work.

171
00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:23,812
She'll never crack that code.

172
00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:28,077
All right, you are not
going on that trip.

173
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,513
Okay, you are
a 50-year-old man

174
00:07:29,557 --> 00:07:31,341
who injured himself
blowing out candles.

175
00:07:32,777 --> 00:07:35,780
Okay! I hurt my back.
A little.

176
00:07:37,129 --> 00:07:38,914
But I'll be fine
in a couple of days.

177
00:07:38,957 --> 00:07:43,222
Adam, I am the protector
of this family, okay?

178
00:07:43,266 --> 00:07:46,617
I told Kate, "No, you can't
zip-line over a volcano."

179
00:07:46,661 --> 00:07:49,228
And I told Teddy,
"No, you can't jump over Emme

180
00:07:49,272 --> 00:07:50,534
with your bicycle."

181
00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:53,319
And now, I am telling you,
"No," okay?

182
00:07:53,363 --> 00:07:56,409
You cannot ride the "Make Me
Raise Our Kids Alone" Trail.

183
00:07:56,453 --> 00:07:57,498
[exhales]

184
00:07:57,541 --> 00:08:00,413
What if I get a note
from a doctor

185
00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:01,806
saying I am good to go?

186
00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:04,679
Well, yeah. Sure.

187
00:08:04,722 --> 00:08:06,681
Best of luck.
[chuckles]

188
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:10,859
Just hope that note's not
too heavy for you to pick up.

189
00:08:13,775 --> 00:08:16,560
[sighs]

190
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:18,562
Dad, that's stealing.

191
00:08:18,606 --> 00:08:21,086
This stuff
is complimentary.

192
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:23,480
Like the soaps and
coffeemakers in hotel rooms.

193
00:08:23,524 --> 00:08:25,656
[knock on door]

194
00:08:27,963 --> 00:08:29,878
Come in.

195
00:08:31,488 --> 00:08:35,623
Well... these back X-rays look
good for a man your age, Joe.

196
00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,973
Those are my X-rays.

197
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:40,758
Oh. That's not good.

198
00:08:41,803 --> 00:08:43,979
You do any strenuous
activities lately?

199
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,721
Well, I'm in construction,
so there's a lot of hammering,

200
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:49,027
climbing ladders,
lifting stuff, you know.

201
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,334
What my boy is trying
to say is he hurt his back

202
00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:53,249
blowing out
some birthday candles.

203
00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:55,643
Well, that's just
part of getting older.

204
00:08:55,686 --> 00:08:56,992
Okay, here's the deal.

205
00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:58,994
I have a trip planned
to ride a dirt bike

206
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,604
down a mountain in Colorado.

207
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:03,346
It's been a lifelong dream.
Can I do it?

208
00:09:03,389 --> 00:09:06,131
You know, my lifelong dream
was to be a jazz pianist.

209
00:09:06,175 --> 00:09:09,265
If I had done that, I could
play you a sad song right now

210
00:09:09,308 --> 00:09:11,920
about how you can't go
on that trip.

211
00:09:11,963 --> 00:09:13,878
In my professional opinion,
you pulled something.

212
00:09:13,922 --> 00:09:15,271
Huh, did you get that
from the X-ray,

213
00:09:15,314 --> 00:09:16,664
or from when I
walked in and said,

214
00:09:16,707 --> 00:09:18,666
"I think I pulled
something."

215
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:20,581
Here's a list
of stretches you can do

216
00:09:20,624 --> 00:09:21,712
to help
the healing process.

217
00:09:27,196 --> 00:09:30,721
We, uh, had a bunch
of Popsicles on the way over.

218
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,031
So, Lowell, what are you
gonna do with your bonus?

219
00:09:36,074 --> 00:09:38,294
I'm trying to decide
between a savings bond

220
00:09:38,337 --> 00:09:40,383
or a potbellied pig.

221
00:09:40,426 --> 00:09:41,950
Well, y-you got to go
with the pig.

222
00:09:41,993 --> 00:09:43,778
If things get tough,
you can't make a sandwich

223
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:44,866
out of a savings bond.

224
00:09:46,302 --> 00:09:48,565
Well, I am gonna hire
a photographer

225
00:09:48,609 --> 00:09:50,785
to take a family picture of us
in matching outfits.

226
00:09:50,828 --> 00:09:53,962
And it's gonna look
a little something like this.

227
00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:55,572
Kids?

228
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,753
This is the least happy
I've ever been.

229
00:10:03,928 --> 00:10:05,713
Not cool, Mom.

230
00:10:05,756 --> 00:10:08,063
I look like I just
escaped polygamy.

231
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:11,457
No, you look like
you just escaped the cute farm.

232
00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:15,287
Oh, hey, Joe.
How's Adam?

233
00:10:15,331 --> 00:10:17,550
[groans]

234
00:10:17,594 --> 00:10:20,641
[chuckles] That's some fancy
lingerie, little brother.

235
00:10:21,946 --> 00:10:23,208
Dad, are you okay?

236
00:10:23,252 --> 00:10:24,949
And if you are,
help us.

237
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:28,518
Uh, kids, why don't you
go get changed.[sighs]

238
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,912
So? How was the doctor?

239
00:10:30,955 --> 00:10:33,392
The motorcycle trip's off.
He said I can't go.

240
00:10:33,436 --> 00:10:35,960
I've been diagnosed
with excessive oldness.

241
00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:37,135
Yeah.

242
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,528
But on the way out,
the nurse told me

243
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,617
I'm an inch shorter than
I used to be, so I got that.

244
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:42,750
Well, then I should
double-check.

245
00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:44,534
You may not be tall enough
for the swan boat.

246
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:48,407
We're not doing
the swan boat, Lowell.

247
00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:50,018
Honey, are-are you okay?I'm fine.

248
00:10:50,061 --> 00:10:51,541
What about me
doesn't seem fine?

249
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,978
Pretty much the
whole package.

250
00:10:54,022 --> 00:10:55,850
Well, I guess you were right.

251
00:10:55,893 --> 00:10:58,156
It's time to act my age,
so from now on,

252
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,593
this couch is where
I will be living.

253
00:11:00,637 --> 00:11:01,856
With my dad.

254
00:11:01,899 --> 00:11:03,031
Well, hold on,
hold on.

255
00:11:03,074 --> 00:11:04,423
You're-you're not
that age, either.

256
00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:06,077
[chuckles]
I'm not 20 anymore.

257
00:11:06,121 --> 00:11:07,426
Yeah, but you're not 70.

258
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,950
I am if you round up.

259
00:11:08,993 --> 00:11:09,994
Oh...

260
00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,822
I can't even
put on my own socks.

261
00:11:11,866 --> 00:11:15,913
[chuckles, groans]

262
00:11:15,957 --> 00:11:17,219
[sighs]:
Oh, that's nice.

263
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:19,047
Welcome to the
promised land, boy.

264
00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:22,050
[both laugh]

265
00:11:22,093 --> 00:11:24,008
BOTH:
Yeah...

266
00:11:24,922 --> 00:11:27,272
Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?

267
00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:30,580
Yeah. I'm married to Joe.

268
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,018
[both laugh, sigh]

269
00:11:40,546 --> 00:11:42,157
TV REPORTER: New England is
enjoying a warm spell,

270
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,159
but a low pressure system
is moving in.

271
00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,378
There's a twist
I did not see coming.

272
00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:49,730
Hmm. Low pressure's
a sneaky bastard.

273
00:11:49,773 --> 00:11:53,211
Okay, I think it's time
to get off the couch.

274
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:54,778
Okay? It's been a week.

275
00:11:54,822 --> 00:11:57,999
Wha-- I would remind you,
I have a back injury.

276
00:11:58,042 --> 00:11:59,783
I can't get up now;
this weather lady's

277
00:11:59,827 --> 00:12:02,568
about to stick a ruler
in the snow.

278
00:12:02,612 --> 00:12:05,397
Ah, Joe, there you are.

279
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:07,835
Let's go. You promised
we'd take a walk in the park.

280
00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:09,532
Man, she's sneaky.

281
00:12:09,575 --> 00:12:11,621
Your mother's a damn
low pressure system.

282
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,884
[both chuckle]

283
00:12:13,928 --> 00:12:15,494
A walk is the least you can do

284
00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:17,105
since you won't exercise
with me at my gym.

285
00:12:17,148 --> 00:12:19,194
You just want to parade
me around that gym

286
00:12:19,237 --> 00:12:21,283
in front of your gal pals
like a show pony.

287
00:12:21,326 --> 00:12:23,459
Well, now I can
parade you

288
00:12:23,502 --> 00:12:25,809
in front of my gal pals
at the park.

289
00:12:25,853 --> 00:12:28,594
At this point, I just hope
a hawk flies off with me.

290
00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:34,644
Oh, what's this?

291
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:39,344
[gasps] Why, it's the stretching
exercises the doctor gave you.

292
00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:42,826
Exercise number one: get up.

293
00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:47,004
Hey, you need
to embrace my new lifestyle.

294
00:12:47,048 --> 00:12:48,701
Hey, you always wanted a cat.

295
00:12:48,745 --> 00:12:50,051
Think of me as a cat

296
00:12:50,094 --> 00:12:52,096
that can tell you
the weather.

297
00:12:54,751 --> 00:12:57,841
Hey, how about this?Hmm.

298
00:12:57,885 --> 00:13:01,802
Maybe we go upstairs
and fool around.

299
00:13:01,845 --> 00:13:03,847
That's your
favorite exercise.

300
00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:06,589
[chuckles] I don't think I'll be
doing much of that anymore.

301
00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:10,027
Everything is connected
to the back. Even the front.

302
00:13:10,071 --> 00:13:13,117
All right.
That's it.

303
00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:15,859
Adam, I want you to go
on this motorcycle trip.

304
00:13:15,903 --> 00:13:18,862
What?If you do the stretches
that the doctor gave you

305
00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:21,822
and your back gets better,
I am fine with it.

306
00:13:21,865 --> 00:13:23,606
I thought you were worried
I'd get hurt.

307
00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:25,434
Yeah, well, now I'm more worried
about your mind

308
00:13:25,477 --> 00:13:26,957
than I am your body.

309
00:13:27,001 --> 00:13:28,654
You just turned down
daytime sex.

310
00:13:28,698 --> 00:13:30,613
I mean, usually,
if I just stop moving,

311
00:13:30,656 --> 00:13:32,267
you take it as a go sign.

312
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,008
Not true.

313
00:13:34,051 --> 00:13:36,227
I pretty much leave you alone
when you're sleeping.

314
00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:38,186
I want my husband back.

315
00:13:38,229 --> 00:13:40,231
You are Adam Burns. Okay?

316
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:43,626
The man who, last Fourth of
July, forgot to put on sunscreen

317
00:13:43,669 --> 00:13:46,368
but still held his daughter
on his bright red shoulders

318
00:13:46,411 --> 00:13:48,413
so she could see the fireworks.

319
00:13:48,457 --> 00:13:49,893
[chuckles]:
Yeah. When she got down,

320
00:13:49,937 --> 00:13:51,416
it was like peeling off
two giant Band-Aids.

321
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:52,678
Yeah, but you did it.

322
00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:53,941
You're damn right I did.

323
00:13:53,984 --> 00:13:55,725
You've never backed down before,

324
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:59,250
and you are not gonna
back down now, so get up.

325
00:13:59,294 --> 00:14:01,252
I'm getting up!

326
00:14:01,296 --> 00:14:03,385
Get me up!

327
00:14:05,953 --> 00:14:07,519
And I'm gonna start
doing those exercises.

328
00:14:07,563 --> 00:14:08,869
Yeah, yeah,
you're not old.

329
00:14:08,912 --> 00:14:10,871
You're just aged,
like a good cheese.

330
00:14:10,914 --> 00:14:14,004
So get moving.

331
00:14:14,048 --> 00:14:17,007
♪ Where have
all the good men gone ♪

332
00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:19,923
♪ And where are all the gods?

333
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:23,100
♪ Where's the streetwise
Hercules ♪

334
00:14:23,144 --> 00:14:27,061
♪ To fight the rising odds?

335
00:14:27,104 --> 00:14:30,151
♪ Late at night,
I toss and I turn ♪

336
00:14:30,194 --> 00:14:33,023
♪ And dream of what I need

337
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,938
♪ I need a hero

338
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:38,942
♪ I'm holding out for a hero
till the morning light ♪

339
00:14:38,986 --> 00:14:41,814
♪ He's got to be sure,
and it's got to be soon ♪

340
00:14:41,858 --> 00:14:45,035
♪ Got to be larger than life

341
00:14:45,079 --> 00:14:48,560
♪ Larger than life

342
00:14:48,604 --> 00:14:52,434
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo...♪

343
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,396
Hey.
Hey.

344
00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,963
Having a protein shake?

345
00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:00,921
Uh, chocolate shake.

346
00:15:02,183 --> 00:15:03,488
I've earned it.

347
00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:06,317
I put on my own socks today.

348
00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:08,319
I am so proud.

349
00:15:08,363 --> 00:15:09,886
Well, wait, it gets better.

350
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:12,715
I also went to the doctor
and got a clean bill of health.

351
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:16,023
Plus, a bill
for some stuff Dad stole.

352
00:15:16,066 --> 00:15:17,850
I'm riding
the Devil's Tailpipe, baby.

353
00:15:17,894 --> 00:15:20,331
I can't believe I'm this excited
about you doing something

354
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:21,985
so insane.Ah, but it won't be.

355
00:15:22,029 --> 00:15:23,900
No. Don and I rented
a couple dirt bikes

356
00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:26,120
to train on so we'll be ready.

357
00:15:26,163 --> 00:15:28,861
If only you and Don had rented
a birthday cake to train on,

358
00:15:28,905 --> 00:15:30,559
none of this
would've happened.

359
00:15:32,256 --> 00:15:36,173
Yo. Ready to ride?

360
00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:39,176
We're just going
around the block.

361
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:40,830
Why are you dressed
like a Power Ranger?

362
00:15:42,832 --> 00:15:45,617
Why are you dressed
like Bob the Builder?

363
00:15:47,576 --> 00:15:49,970
Okay, truce.

364
00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:53,190
Let's do this.Yeah.

365
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,149
I'm back!
[laughs]

366
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,022
My back!

367
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,807
Are you okay?

368
00:16:01,851 --> 00:16:03,461
D-Did you crash?

369
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,767
I turned my head
to change lanes.

370
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:05,855
And then you crashed?

371
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,813
No, but I felt
my back tighten up.

372
00:16:07,857 --> 00:16:09,859
And then you crashed?No, there was no crash!

373
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:13,167
I turned my head
and threw my back out.

374
00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:14,820
It was the birthday cake
all over again.

375
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,910
All of a sudden,
he slowed down.

376
00:16:17,954 --> 00:16:20,652
Kid on a tricycle blew by him,
then he just wobbled to a stop.

377
00:16:20,696 --> 00:16:21,697
It was hard to watch.

378
00:16:23,742 --> 00:16:27,529
I want to forget the bike trip
and never talk about it again.

379
00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:30,053
It's dead to me,
like sauerkraut!

380
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,057
Adam, I'm so sorry.Well, what about me?

381
00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:36,277
I got to walk back
to get his bike.

382
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,062
When you're in a suit like this
with no motorcycle under you,

383
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:40,672
people say hurtful things.

384
00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:47,462
ANDI:
Here's your muscle rub

385
00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:50,204
and some aspirin.

386
00:16:50,247 --> 00:16:53,033
Or as your dad calls it, brunch.

387
00:16:54,251 --> 00:16:56,645
Thanks. Maybe that'll help
get me moving.

388
00:16:56,688 --> 00:16:58,299
[chuckles, grunts]

389
00:16:58,342 --> 00:16:59,604
I'm sorry, I can't get up.

390
00:16:59,648 --> 00:17:01,606
No, no, no, it's
okay. You rest.

391
00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:04,566
Okay? I-I'll refill
your water, okay?

392
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,698
Whoa! Got it. [laughs]

393
00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:14,054
So... your back
seems fine, Adam.

394
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:18,884
That-that muscle rub
is a miracle.

395
00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:22,453
It just had to be
in the same room with me.

396
00:17:22,497 --> 00:17:24,934
Ha. Heh. Huh.

397
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,023
What's going on?

398
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:29,199
Okay.

399
00:17:29,243 --> 00:17:32,855
I'm not hurt. I...

400
00:17:32,898 --> 00:17:34,074
I just got spooked.

401
00:17:34,117 --> 00:17:36,598
I haven't been
on a dirt bike in a long time,

402
00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:40,210
and they're really fast now;
it was like riding a rocket.

403
00:17:40,254 --> 00:17:44,649
And I started thinking, as
I accidentally jumped a ditch.

404
00:17:44,693 --> 00:17:47,565
I got kids at home.
If something happens to me,

405
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,393
you'd have to raise them
on your own.

406
00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:51,656
And you'd just dress them up
funny all the time.

407
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:55,269
I know you would,
and I can't do that to them.

408
00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:57,836
So you faked being hurt
so you wouldn't have to go.

409
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,883
If I can hurt my back
blowing out candles,

410
00:18:00,926 --> 00:18:03,842
what is gonna happen to me
on the Devil's Tailpipe?

411
00:18:03,886 --> 00:18:08,673
And if Don's the only one there
to help me, I'll die.

412
00:18:08,717 --> 00:18:11,676
Yeah, I mean, the only thing
you're gonna get from him

413
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,591
is his best wishes.
[scoffs]

414
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:17,247
I... I hate
to admit it, but...

415
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:19,684
I really am getting older.

416
00:18:19,728 --> 00:18:21,686
No! [gasps]

417
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,253
You're the first one.

418
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:25,690
[chuckles]:
All right, all right.

419
00:18:25,734 --> 00:18:28,084
Look, I'm just saying,
there comes a time

420
00:18:28,128 --> 00:18:32,306
when you have to give up
on some of your dreams.

421
00:18:32,349 --> 00:18:33,655
Well...

422
00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:36,048
Wait. You know,

423
00:18:36,092 --> 00:18:39,182
I did some research,
and there are other rides.

424
00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:41,924
You know, uh, maybe instead
of the Devil's Tailpipe,

425
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:45,014
you could pick a
less intense trail,

426
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,017
like Marshmallow Flats.

427
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,932
See, there are pictures,

428
00:18:49,975 --> 00:18:52,717
and the guys riding
Marshmallow Flats, they...

429
00:18:52,761 --> 00:18:55,894
they look a lot more like you.

430
00:18:55,938 --> 00:18:59,768
I could ride the heck out
of Marshmallow Flats.

431
00:18:59,811 --> 00:19:03,859
Wha... Yeah, this
sounds really nice.

432
00:19:03,902 --> 00:19:05,730
There's a deli in the middle.

433
00:19:05,774 --> 00:19:08,690
Yeah. And-and a bed-and-
breakfast along the way.

434
00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:13,085
A soft bed would be nice
after a long day of riding.

435
00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:16,915
Yeah. See? It's all
about your perspective.

436
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:19,440
A-And I haven't lost
my taste for danger.

437
00:19:19,483 --> 00:19:21,877
Okay? At that deli, I'm getting
sauerkraut on my Rueben.

438
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,966
I'm doing it, Andi.
I can handle it.

439
00:19:25,272 --> 00:19:27,056
Absolutely.

440
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:30,059
You'll pack Tums.I'll pack Tums.

441
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:34,542
Because with age comes wisdom,
and with wisdom...

442
00:19:34,585 --> 00:19:36,935
[stammers]
Tums.

443
00:19:36,979 --> 00:19:38,850
Ooh.

444
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,555
EMME:
My eyes are closed.

445
00:19:47,598 --> 00:19:49,818
TEDDY:
I was mid-sneeze.

446
00:19:49,861 --> 00:19:52,864
We look real cult-y, Mom.

447
00:19:52,908 --> 00:19:56,216
Well, I look great, and it's
my bonus, so it's going up.

448
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:58,043
You know, if one of us
ever breaks the law,

449
00:19:58,087 --> 00:19:59,915
this is gonna be the picture
they put on the news.

450
00:19:59,958 --> 00:20:01,351
Ha!

451
00:20:01,395 --> 00:20:03,223
[door opens]

452
00:20:04,441 --> 00:20:05,616
[gasps]
You're back!

453
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:06,704
Mm-hmm.And alive.

454
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,924
[both laugh]Aw.

455
00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,882
How was Marshmallow Flats?

456
00:20:10,926 --> 00:20:12,797
Soft and flat. I loved it.

457
00:20:12,841 --> 00:20:14,799
Aw.
I don't want to brag,

458
00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:17,193
but I got told to slow down
at least five times.

459
00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:18,281
[chuckles]

460
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:23,330
Why is he still
wearing his gear?

461
00:20:23,373 --> 00:20:25,897
I don't think he knows
how to get out of it.Oh.

462
00:20:25,941 --> 00:20:27,812
[sighs]

463
00:20:27,856 --> 00:20:29,074
W-What happened to him?

464
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:30,772
Did he crash?No.

465
00:20:30,815 --> 00:20:32,643
We just spent a lot
of time at that deli,

466
00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:34,428
and tough guy over there
wouldn't take the Tums.

467
00:20:34,471 --> 00:20:38,562
It burns.
Too much pastrami.

468
00:20:38,606 --> 00:20:41,130
Looks like he's gonna be riding
that Devil's Tailpipe after all.

469
00:20:46,701 --> 00:20:50,661
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

470
00:20:50,705 --> 00:20:54,709
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org