1 00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:11,075 Hey. 2 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:13,991 If we have to listen, you have to listen. 3 00:00:15,993 --> 00:00:18,082 Oh. 4 00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:23,044 Well, I just loved it, Emme. 5 00:00:23,087 --> 00:00:25,785 I loved it, too. I don't think I'll ever forget it. 6 00:00:25,829 --> 00:00:27,570 I can't wait for my recital. 7 00:00:28,919 --> 00:00:30,964 It's a two-hour concert, Adam. 8 00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:32,879 What if she's the best one? 9 00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:36,057 Uh, we'll boo. 10 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,623 Other people's kids need to know the truth. 11 00:00:38,842 --> 00:00:41,366 Oh, hey, Katie, by the way, 12 00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:43,064 there's a new Godzilla movie out. 13 00:00:43,107 --> 00:00:44,891 What? 14 00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:47,024 I said there's a new Godzilla movie out. 15 00:00:47,068 --> 00:00:48,852 We've been to every one. You want to go this weekend? 16 00:00:48,895 --> 00:00:50,854 Thanks, but I'm okay. 17 00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:54,031 Well, I know you're okay, 18 00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:55,859 I was just wondering if you want to see a movie. 19 00:00:55,902 --> 00:00:57,643 What? 20 00:00:58,688 --> 00:01:00,081 Never mind. 21 00:01:03,954 --> 00:01:06,261 "I'm okay"? What the heck is "I'm okay"? 22 00:01:06,304 --> 00:01:08,263 "I'm okay" is a nice way of saying, 23 00:01:08,306 --> 00:01:12,180 "I'd rather do nothing alone than something with you." 24 00:01:12,223 --> 00:01:15,487 She used to love doing stuff with me. 25 00:01:15,531 --> 00:01:17,489 Well, I'll see the movie with you. 26 00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:21,014 Eh, thanks, but I'm okay. 27 00:01:21,058 --> 00:01:23,016 Honey, don't take it personally, all right? 28 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,802 Maybe she doesn't like Godzilla movies anymore. 29 00:01:25,845 --> 00:01:29,197 Andi, everybody likes Godzilla. 30 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,024 Not me. I-I don't get it. 31 00:01:31,068 --> 00:01:34,202 I-Is he a dinosaur, a-a dragon? 32 00:01:34,245 --> 00:01:37,422 Maybe he destroys cities 'cause he doesn't know what he is. 33 00:01:37,466 --> 00:01:41,165 He was created by an atomic explosion. 34 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,124 See, the radiation-- Y-You know what? 35 00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:44,908 I'm not explaining it to you again. 36 00:01:46,344 --> 00:01:49,042 Look, honey, Kate's getting older. 37 00:01:49,086 --> 00:01:51,044 Okay? You're the parent. 38 00:01:51,088 --> 00:01:54,004 It's your job to figure out how to connect with her. 39 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,093 Yeah, I just need to find something we have in common. 40 00:01:56,137 --> 00:02:00,097 Used to be Godzilla, now I have no idea. 41 00:02:01,272 --> 00:02:02,926 Planet of the Apes,maybe?Eh... 42 00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:07,539 Hey, Dad, can you drop me at the mall after school tomorrow? 43 00:02:12,414 --> 00:02:13,937 N-No problem. 44 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,852 I am always here for you. 45 00:02:15,895 --> 00:02:18,811 Hey, how about a hug? Huh? Aww. 46 00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:20,944 Huh...? 47 00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:23,816 That was no hug. 48 00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:27,124 It's like she bumped into me by accident. 49 00:02:27,168 --> 00:02:29,518 Yeah, the good hug days are over. 50 00:02:29,561 --> 00:02:30,867 If it makes you feel any better, 51 00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:32,390 I don't get them anymore, either. 52 00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:35,567 You know what? It does not make me feel any better. 53 00:02:37,787 --> 00:02:40,311 You're not gonna believe this. I won the lottery. 54 00:02:40,355 --> 00:02:43,140 Oh, my God. How much? 55 00:02:43,184 --> 00:02:44,837 The barbecue ribs lottery. 56 00:02:44,881 --> 00:02:46,796 Oh, my God. How much? 57 00:02:46,839 --> 00:02:48,145 What is a ribs lottery? 58 00:02:48,189 --> 00:02:51,366 I-It's for Frank's Underground Barbecue. 59 00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:53,759 He's a backyard chef who randomly texts people 60 00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:55,935 from his list when a new batch of ribs is ready-- 61 00:02:55,979 --> 00:02:57,676 if you're not gonna know about Godzilla, 62 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,549 at least know about Frank. 63 00:03:00,592 --> 00:03:03,421 Oh. This is the perfect way to connect with Katie. 64 00:03:03,465 --> 00:03:04,640 She loves ribs. 65 00:03:04,683 --> 00:03:05,945 Yeah, you know, when she was little, 66 00:03:05,989 --> 00:03:07,730 I used to take her for barbecue on my motorcycle. 67 00:03:07,773 --> 00:03:10,907 You put my baby on the back of your motorcycle? 68 00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:12,517 Come pick them up with me. 69 00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:14,345 We can put the ribs in Emme's old car seat. 70 00:03:14,389 --> 00:03:15,651 Safety first. 71 00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,482 Ooh.Whoa... 72 00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,701 Check out those ribs, Andi. 73 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,660 You know, you look at cows, and they're kind of ugly, 74 00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,052 but when you chop them up into little pieces, 75 00:03:26,096 --> 00:03:27,837 they're beautiful.ADAM : Yeah. 76 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,666 You know, we almost didn't find Frank's Barbecue. 77 00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,363 We had to follow the smoke in the sky, 78 00:03:32,407 --> 00:03:33,973 like when they choose a new pope. 79 00:03:34,017 --> 00:03:35,279 Yeah. 80 00:03:35,323 --> 00:03:37,890 Katie, look, I got all your favorites. 81 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:41,111 Ribs, mac and cheese, pork and beans. 82 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,896 Actually, I'm a vegan now. 83 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,943 What? 84 00:03:46,986 --> 00:03:49,902 I'm a vegan. I don't eat meat anymore. 85 00:03:49,946 --> 00:03:52,078 Why? 86 00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:53,384 Wait, 87 00:03:53,428 --> 00:03:54,733 we can do that? 88 00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:55,995 You always say we have to eat whatever Mom makes, 89 00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:57,562 even if it's gross. 90 00:03:57,606 --> 00:04:00,739 Like her Andi Patties. 91 00:04:02,045 --> 00:04:03,438 Why won't you tell us what's in them? 92 00:04:03,481 --> 00:04:06,397 Because I want you to eat them. 93 00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:08,617 So you're a vegan now, huh? 94 00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,227 Good for you. I call Kate's ribs. 95 00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:12,447 Oh, no, no, no. 96 00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:15,798 Look, honey, we don't allow vegans in this house. 97 00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:18,104 Okay? When you're older, and you build a house 98 00:04:18,148 --> 00:04:21,194 with yourbare hands, you can let vegans in it. 99 00:04:21,238 --> 00:04:22,805 You didn't build this house. 100 00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:24,720 I installed the icemaker. 101 00:04:25,764 --> 00:04:28,027 Adam, 102 00:04:28,071 --> 00:04:31,030 what I'm hearing is that Kate has a new interest, 103 00:04:31,074 --> 00:04:34,033 which you might be interested in connecting to. 104 00:04:34,077 --> 00:04:35,252 I can't connect to that. 105 00:04:36,427 --> 00:04:38,473 She eats plants. 106 00:04:38,516 --> 00:04:41,214 I eat food you have to hunt. 107 00:04:41,258 --> 00:04:43,434 It's a cow, Adam. 108 00:04:43,478 --> 00:04:47,090 I didn't say it was hard. 109 00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:59,624 So is vegan like vegetarian? 110 00:04:59,668 --> 00:05:01,409 Uh, what things can't you eat? 111 00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:05,587 Well, there's meat, fish, cheese, milk, butter. 112 00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:07,284 But those are all the things. 113 00:05:07,328 --> 00:05:10,461 They showed us a documentary about it at school, 114 00:05:10,505 --> 00:05:12,985 and if you guys could've seen the faces on those animals, 115 00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:14,770 you'd agree with me. 116 00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:17,468 This is a terrible idea. Think of your mother. 117 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:20,123 She's gonna have to cook two different dinners every night. 118 00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:21,646 Well, you could cook one. 119 00:05:22,995 --> 00:05:24,910 I am on your side, here. 120 00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:27,957 Don, help me out? 121 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,524 No can do. The ribs are kicking in. 122 00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:30,742 Time to take a meat nap. 123 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,963 Mom, 124 00:05:34,006 --> 00:05:36,008 Emme and I decided to only eat cake now. 125 00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:39,055 If Kate gets to go vegan, than we get to go caken. 126 00:05:41,013 --> 00:05:43,625 Well, my Andi Patties could be made of cake. You don't know. 127 00:05:43,668 --> 00:05:45,627 I think they're made of ear wax. 128 00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,455 Okay, go upstairs, please. 129 00:05:49,631 --> 00:05:51,154 You see? 130 00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:54,940 Your vegan kick has started a house-wide rebellion. 131 00:05:54,984 --> 00:05:56,028 If you'd just watch the documentary with me, 132 00:05:56,072 --> 00:05:57,334 you'd get it. 133 00:05:57,378 --> 00:05:59,031 Look, I brought home a copy. 134 00:06:01,817 --> 00:06:03,906 "Apocalypse Cow"? 135 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,997 Thanks, but I'm okay. 136 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,652 This is your chance to connect with her. 137 00:06:10,695 --> 00:06:12,871 Yeah, well, I don't agree with her, 138 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,873 I am top of the food chain. 139 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:18,094 When a cow installs an icemaker, I will stop eating it. 140 00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:22,141 You don't have to really be interested, you just fake it. 141 00:06:22,185 --> 00:06:24,927 Like, like, I do when Teddy tells me about his video games. 142 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,451 "Mom, I zapped a space trooper." 143 00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:30,541 "That's great honey." Hug. 144 00:06:30,585 --> 00:06:34,066 You think if I watch that movie with Katie, she'll hug me? 145 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:35,938 She might go full koala. 146 00:06:37,679 --> 00:06:40,725 All right, I'll try it. 147 00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:44,947 Remember when the kids were all over us all the time? 148 00:06:46,775 --> 00:06:48,603 Maybe we should have another baby. Really? 149 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:54,870 No, no, I'll try this. 150 00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:57,046 Before we start, I just want you to know 151 00:06:57,089 --> 00:06:59,091 it means a lot that you'll watch this with me. 152 00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:01,485 Hey, I like spending time with you. 153 00:07:01,529 --> 00:07:04,357 But this movie is not gonna change how I feel. 154 00:07:04,401 --> 00:07:07,491 I know how the sausage is made, and it's delicious. 155 00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:13,758 : I did not know how the sausage was made. 156 00:07:13,802 --> 00:07:16,979 And why'd they name the chickens after famous people? 157 00:07:17,022 --> 00:07:19,416 That just made us sadder when they got eaten. 158 00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:22,375 Poor Anne Hatch-away. 159 00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,987 And what about her husband, Eggy Van Halen? 160 00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:29,557 He's heartbroken, she was the one. 161 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:33,212 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm done with meat. 162 00:07:33,256 --> 00:07:36,041 What? I mean it, Katie. 163 00:07:36,085 --> 00:07:37,478 I'm going vegan with you. 164 00:07:37,521 --> 00:07:38,566 Really? 165 00:07:38,609 --> 00:07:40,437 I love you, Dad. 166 00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:42,570 I love you, honey. 167 00:07:42,613 --> 00:07:44,441 Oh, oh, are we done? Okay. 168 00:07:44,485 --> 00:07:47,444 Hey, I'll get Mom to do it, too. 169 00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:49,272 You're the best. 170 00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:58,281 Brace yourself. I've got big news. 171 00:07:58,324 --> 00:08:00,413 Katie hugged me. 172 00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:02,503 Aww, that's great. 173 00:08:02,546 --> 00:08:05,201 And all you had to do was fake some interest. 174 00:08:05,244 --> 00:08:06,724 Parenting's easy. 175 00:08:06,768 --> 00:08:09,379 That's the other thing. I'm not faking. 176 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,120 I am going vegan. 177 00:08:11,163 --> 00:08:12,991 Yeah, right. 178 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,558 I am. 179 00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:17,561 Oh, also, I told her you'd do it too.What? 180 00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:20,042 It bought me another hug, I'm not sorry. 181 00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:22,305 What-- s-so now if I don't do it, I look like a jerk. 182 00:08:22,348 --> 00:08:24,394 All you had to do was fake it. 183 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,136 I couldn't. The movie was too powerful. 184 00:08:27,179 --> 00:08:29,530 There was this cow, his name was Paul MooCartney-- 185 00:08:29,573 --> 00:08:32,533 and... and do you know what veal is? 186 00:08:32,576 --> 00:08:35,753 How can we be Parmesan-ing those little guys? 187 00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:38,016 So Kate really hugged you? 188 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,409 Yeah, like this. 189 00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:44,414 Oh. Wow.: Yeah. 190 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,591 Last time I got a hug like that, I had to buy her a phone. 191 00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:50,115 But even then she hugged the phone tighter. 192 00:08:51,247 --> 00:08:52,378 Okay, I'll do it. 193 00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:53,989 Oh, this is gonna be so great. 194 00:08:54,032 --> 00:08:56,339 We'll be healthier, happier and huggier. 195 00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:58,341 Okay, but-but, hey, I just, I need to know 196 00:08:58,384 --> 00:09:00,386 that you're really committed.Well... 197 00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:01,431 Don't you remember when you promised 198 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,911 to do couples yoga with me? 199 00:09:02,954 --> 00:09:04,129 You didn't even make it through one class. 200 00:09:04,173 --> 00:09:07,306 That lady touched my rear end. 201 00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:10,658 She was the instructor, and she was adjusting your pose. 202 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:13,095 She made it halfway to third base, Andi. 203 00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,271 But this isn't like that. 204 00:09:15,314 --> 00:09:17,360 I promise, I am fully committed. 205 00:09:17,403 --> 00:09:19,275 Okay. 206 00:09:19,318 --> 00:09:20,885 Okay. Wait. 207 00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:24,323 You do know that going vegan means no more McNuggets, right? 208 00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:28,153 I hadn't thought of that. 209 00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:30,329 I can do it. 210 00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:36,292 So here's what we've prepared for your first vegan experience. 211 00:09:36,335 --> 00:09:39,295 Yeah. These nuggets are made of tofu, 212 00:09:39,338 --> 00:09:41,732 so they're chick-none nuggets. 213 00:09:41,776 --> 00:09:44,256 Okay? They taste just like chicken, but wet. 214 00:09:45,344 --> 00:09:47,303 Eat it like an oyster. 215 00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:49,871 And this is macaroni and cashew cheese. 216 00:09:49,914 --> 00:09:53,657 Yeah, all the fun of cashews, but in a paste. 217 00:09:53,701 --> 00:09:56,878 So you're trying to feed me nut cheese? 218 00:09:56,921 --> 00:09:59,358 Look, I know it's a big adjustment, 219 00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,317 but there is an upside. 220 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,537 We get to act superior by telling everybody we're vegan. 221 00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,192 And we're saving animals' lives. 222 00:10:07,236 --> 00:10:09,368 Yeah, that, too. 223 00:10:09,412 --> 00:10:11,327 Yeah, and we had a vegan breakfast. 224 00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:13,677 Bathroom-wise, it's much more efficient. 225 00:10:13,721 --> 00:10:15,592 Okay, first bite starts the clock, 226 00:10:15,636 --> 00:10:17,420 so I don't recommend eating in the car. 227 00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:20,249 Bon appétit, everyone. 228 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,949 Don! 229 00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,342 It was a primitive instinct. 230 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:29,911 I ate poison and my body rejected it. 231 00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:32,348 All right, well, that-that-that's okay. 232 00:10:32,391 --> 00:10:33,915 It takes a little getting used to, 233 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,351 but it's for the animals. Right, Katie? 234 00:10:35,394 --> 00:10:37,353 That's right, Dad. 235 00:10:37,396 --> 00:10:40,399 This is even worse than Andi Patties. 236 00:10:41,226 --> 00:10:45,143 Yeah, it tastes like an Andi Patty's butt. 237 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,580 Enough of this beatnik nonsense. 238 00:10:47,624 --> 00:10:49,408 Don, get those ribs out of the fridge. 239 00:10:49,452 --> 00:10:52,585 Dad, we don't eat that anymore. 240 00:10:52,629 --> 00:10:55,676 I didn't spend the Christmas of '66 dodging bullets 241 00:10:55,719 --> 00:10:58,243 in a rice paddy to eat snot nuggets. 242 00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,769 You have to decide right now, 243 00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:03,858 are you a vegan or an American? 244 00:11:03,901 --> 00:11:06,643 You're missing the point. 245 00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:09,254 Those ribs came from an innocent cow. 246 00:11:09,298 --> 00:11:11,387 Cows are designed to be eaten. 247 00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:13,476 They're made of steak and cheese. 248 00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:18,350 You know what? You two are a bad influence, so these ribs 249 00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:20,309 are going where they belong, 250 00:11:20,352 --> 00:11:22,267 in the trash.I'm proud of you, honey. 251 00:11:22,311 --> 00:11:23,529 Thank you. 252 00:11:23,573 --> 00:11:27,055 Now, who wants a soy-glazed mushroom cutlet? 253 00:11:27,098 --> 00:11:29,100 Donny, you know what to do. 254 00:11:29,144 --> 00:11:31,146 I'm one step ahead of you, Pop. 255 00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:37,543 You think the trash is gonna scare me? 256 00:11:37,587 --> 00:11:39,720 In the service, they called me The Raccoon. 257 00:11:48,729 --> 00:11:51,775 Okay, okay, sweetie. So beautiful. 258 00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:53,908 Um, why don't you 259 00:11:53,951 --> 00:11:55,300 go get dressed for your recital? 260 00:11:55,344 --> 00:11:57,346 I'm not going too fancy. 261 00:11:57,389 --> 00:11:59,957 I'll let my music speak for itself. 262 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,133 Never lose that confidence, sweetie. 263 00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:08,792 Ugh. What? 264 00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,490 Oh, who leaves a half-eaten Slim Jim in their backpack? 265 00:12:11,534 --> 00:12:13,579 It's all covered with lint 266 00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:17,888 and hair and... deliciousness. 267 00:12:17,932 --> 00:12:19,237 ADAM: Andi! 268 00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:21,805 Put down that Slim Jim. 269 00:12:21,849 --> 00:12:25,200 Too late. 270 00:12:25,243 --> 00:12:26,505 It wasn't too late. 271 00:12:26,549 --> 00:12:29,204 You saw me and then you ate it. 272 00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,815 And now it's too late. 273 00:12:31,859 --> 00:12:34,426 Just don't tell Kate, okay? 274 00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,994 This vegan thing is working for me, too. 275 00:12:37,038 --> 00:12:38,517 This morning, she took out an earbud 276 00:12:38,561 --> 00:12:42,913 and voluntarily spoke to me. She... she said, 277 00:12:42,957 --> 00:12:45,481 "Can I have ten dollars?" 278 00:12:45,524 --> 00:12:47,657 I'm not gonna tell Katie 279 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,834 because I enjoy having the moral high ground. 280 00:12:50,878 --> 00:12:53,924 The view's nice, I've never been up here before. 281 00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:56,753 Hey, Mom, thank you so much 282 00:12:56,797 --> 00:12:58,842 for buying me those strawberry snack bars. 283 00:12:58,886 --> 00:13:00,452 Oh, honey, you're welcome. 284 00:13:00,496 --> 00:13:02,890 No, seriously, it means a lot that you support my choices. 285 00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:05,370 Aw. 286 00:13:07,372 --> 00:13:09,157 Your mom ate a Slim Jim. 287 00:13:12,421 --> 00:13:13,901 What? Yeah. 288 00:13:13,944 --> 00:13:16,686 She barely chewed it, she was like a seal with a fish. 289 00:13:17,992 --> 00:13:19,776 Oh, Mom. 290 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,386 Your mother's betrayal must be very hard for you. 291 00:13:21,430 --> 00:13:22,518 Come on, let's hug it out. 292 00:13:22,561 --> 00:13:24,912 Well, I'm not that upset. 293 00:13:24,955 --> 00:13:26,391 No, no, it's for your own good. 294 00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:39,143 Okay, Don's all set up in the back 295 00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:40,797 to record Emme's recital. 296 00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,799 He's so tall, no one can block him. 297 00:13:42,843 --> 00:13:46,107 He's like a giraffe with a camera. 298 00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:48,936 Don't act like everything's fine. 299 00:13:48,979 --> 00:13:51,416 You sold me out to Kate. 300 00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,201 I had to. 301 00:13:53,244 --> 00:13:56,117 There's only a limited amount of hugs until she goes to college. 302 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,814 I'm getting as many as I can. 303 00:13:57,858 --> 00:13:59,381 What about me? 304 00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:01,992 You're fine, the breastfeeding years 305 00:14:02,036 --> 00:14:05,039 were like one long hug for you. 306 00:14:05,082 --> 00:14:07,084 It's my time. 307 00:14:07,737 --> 00:14:09,695 BOTH: Hi. 308 00:14:09,739 --> 00:14:11,349 Yes, we're arguing, 309 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:14,657 but life is complicated for us because we're vegan. 310 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,268 Yeah, that's right, full-blown vegan. 311 00:14:17,312 --> 00:14:21,751 Well, some of us are. She cheated on me. 312 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:24,058 With jerky. 313 00:14:24,101 --> 00:14:25,668 And I am back on the wagon. 314 00:14:25,711 --> 00:14:27,757 Yeah, I made a chicken for Teddy and Emme today, 315 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,106 I wasn't even tempted. 316 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:32,196 I saved the gizzards for Andi Patties. 317 00:14:34,111 --> 00:14:35,983 ANNOUNCER: Next up, Emme Burns. 318 00:14:36,026 --> 00:14:39,377 Oh, there she is. That's our daughter. 319 00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:47,168 She's not a vegan. 320 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,563 This is a great gig. 321 00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:53,130 I just made 40 bucks charging short moms 322 00:14:53,174 --> 00:14:54,740 to videotape their kids. 323 00:14:54,784 --> 00:14:58,396 Don, this is my kid's school. 324 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,094 I should get half. 325 00:15:01,573 --> 00:15:04,011 Ugh. Look at this. 326 00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:06,970 I finally get picked for Frank's barbecue and I can't have it. 327 00:15:07,014 --> 00:15:08,624 It's like when my high school teacher 328 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,887 hit on me after I was married. 329 00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:13,020 Ah, Miss Popovich. She made algebra sexy. 330 00:15:13,063 --> 00:15:16,588 I wore a tank top for four years, nothing. 331 00:15:16,632 --> 00:15:19,940 Married six months, here she comes. 332 00:15:19,983 --> 00:15:21,811 I'll just text and say I don't want the ribs. 333 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,117 Whoa, don't do that. I'll take them. 334 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,857 Well, if you want them, go get them yourself. 335 00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:26,598 I can't, they check your ID. 336 00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:28,252 Ugh. Come on, you owe me. 337 00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:30,385 You threw my ribs in the garbage. I didn't get any. 338 00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:32,126 Raccoons don't share. 339 00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:35,825 Okay, fine, I'll go, 340 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,392 but Andi can never know. 341 00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,046 I snitched on her for sneaking jerky 342 00:15:39,089 --> 00:15:40,308 and she's looking for revenge. 343 00:15:40,351 --> 00:15:42,179 You guys have a weird marriage. 344 00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:46,053 Will you please?Okay, I'll cover for you. 345 00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:50,100 Okay, just, uh, oh, tell Andi I went home to use the bathroom. 346 00:15:50,144 --> 00:15:51,362 I'm a vegan, she'll believe it. 347 00:15:54,278 --> 00:15:58,108 Okay, Emme went to a sleepover. Where's Adam? 348 00:15:58,152 --> 00:16:00,110 Oh, he was having vegan problems, 349 00:16:00,154 --> 00:16:01,720 so he went home to use the bathroom. 350 00:16:01,764 --> 00:16:03,722 Why wouldn't he use the bathroom here? 351 00:16:03,766 --> 00:16:08,031 Well, because he wanted to stop on the way 352 00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:10,512 and get Emme flowers 353 00:16:10,555 --> 00:16:13,123 because the recital was so good. 354 00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:14,995 Okay, now I know you're lying. 355 00:16:15,038 --> 00:16:17,084 Where is he? 356 00:16:17,127 --> 00:16:20,087 Fine, he's sleeping with his high school teacher. 357 00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:21,740 Don. 358 00:16:21,784 --> 00:16:25,092 Okay, okay, he won the barbecue lottery. 359 00:16:25,135 --> 00:16:26,658 He went to pick up the ribs. 360 00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:29,139 Oh, you have got to be kidding me. 361 00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:31,141 Mister Holier-Than-Thou is getting ribs 362 00:16:31,185 --> 00:16:33,013 while-while I'm an outcast 363 00:16:33,056 --> 00:16:36,103 for eating a hairy, backpack Slim Jim? 364 00:16:36,146 --> 00:16:39,193 He's not getting them for himself, he's giving them to me. 365 00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:40,890 Come on, Don, we both know better. 366 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,457 He can't resist barbecue. 367 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,894 His first time alone in the car with those ribs 368 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,636 will be like his first time alone in a car with me. 369 00:16:47,679 --> 00:16:49,246 Lots of grabbing, heavy breathing, 370 00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:51,205 and windows steaming up. 371 00:16:51,248 --> 00:16:53,294 He's not doing that to my ribs. Let's go. 372 00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:02,781 ADAM: Smell good all you want, I'm taking you to Don's. 373 00:17:02,825 --> 00:17:07,003 I'm doing this for Katie and Anne Hatch-away, 374 00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:11,138 and Veal Patrick Harris. 375 00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:15,316 Aw, who am I kidding? I can't control myself. 376 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,362 This is just like my first time alone in the car with Andi. 377 00:17:18,406 --> 00:17:22,149 I'm sorry, Katie. 378 00:17:22,192 --> 00:17:26,370 I saw his truck. He's here with those ribs. 379 00:17:26,414 --> 00:17:29,330 I smell it. The meat is near. 380 00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:37,642 Good boy, Don, good boy. 381 00:17:47,391 --> 00:17:49,393 Classic meat nap. 382 00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:51,265 Look how happy he is. 383 00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:53,267 I'm going to get the hose. 384 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:56,531 Wait, Andi, let's remember what's important here. 385 00:17:58,576 --> 00:18:01,318 Okay, let him have it. 386 00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:05,322 Okay, I'm sorry I ate the ribs. 387 00:18:05,366 --> 00:18:07,672 Lay it on me, I deserve it. 388 00:18:07,716 --> 00:18:09,848 No, you know what? This makes sense 389 00:18:09,892 --> 00:18:11,676 'cause for a couple hours today I was thinking 390 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,722 you were better than me, and then I was like, 391 00:18:13,765 --> 00:18:16,246 "Well, that can't be right." And look, it's not. 392 00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:19,945 The thing is, I can't be a vegan. 393 00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:24,385 It's like asking Godzilla not to stomp on Tokyo. 394 00:18:24,428 --> 00:18:27,518 He has to do it, it's who he is. 395 00:18:27,562 --> 00:18:30,260 You gonna tell Kate? 396 00:18:30,304 --> 00:18:33,220 Well, yeah, I can't let her hug a lie. 397 00:18:33,263 --> 00:18:36,266 She deserves the truth. I'll-I'll go tell her now. 398 00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,399 Hey, maybe bring her 399 00:18:38,442 --> 00:18:41,184 one of those strawberry snack bars to soften her up. 400 00:18:41,228 --> 00:18:42,490 Got me a hug. 401 00:18:48,148 --> 00:18:49,540 Katie? I'm sorry. 402 00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:51,412 I saw chicken in the fridge and I couldn't resist. 403 00:18:51,455 --> 00:18:53,936 I love meat too much. 404 00:18:53,979 --> 00:18:55,546 So do I! 405 00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:58,419 I just ate a half a cow. 406 00:18:58,462 --> 00:19:02,249 Really? That makes me feel so much better. 407 00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:05,991 Oh, and this hug is even nicer 408 00:19:06,035 --> 00:19:08,298 because we both smell like meat. 409 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,607 Nah! 410 00:19:14,652 --> 00:19:15,914 Ah... 411 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,270 Ah, that was some good chicken. 412 00:19:23,313 --> 00:19:24,619 Mm. 413 00:19:24,662 --> 00:19:26,751 Anne Hatch-away and her finger-licking friends 414 00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:28,231 went out in a blaze of glory. 415 00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:32,366 And we put out that blaze with honey mustard. 416 00:19:32,409 --> 00:19:35,195 Yeah. 417 00:19:35,238 --> 00:19:37,632 I do feel kind of bad for giving up, though. 418 00:19:37,675 --> 00:19:41,940 Hey, how about this? 419 00:19:41,984 --> 00:19:43,420 We'll keep eating meat, 420 00:19:43,464 --> 00:19:45,988 but we'll donate to the animal rights people. 421 00:19:46,031 --> 00:19:47,250 Really? 422 00:19:47,294 --> 00:19:49,121 Yeah. We'll do whatever we want, 423 00:19:49,165 --> 00:19:50,688 but we'll give a little money 424 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:54,257 to the people who do the right thing. Yeah? 425 00:19:54,301 --> 00:19:58,305 And that is how you get around that. 426 00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,186 Captioning sponsored by CBS 427 00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:12,406 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org