1
00:00:04,242 --> 00:00:05,852
There you are.

2
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,550
Why aren't you in bed?

3
00:00:07,593 --> 00:00:11,032
I just put the moves
on your pillow.

4
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:13,947
I remembered that Emme has to do
a "My Life" project for school

5
00:00:13,991 --> 00:00:15,775
and she asked
for some baby pictures.

6
00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:17,342
Project, school, baby.

7
00:00:17,386 --> 00:00:19,518
These are not sexy words.

8
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:22,086
I can't find any of Emme.

9
00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:24,915
We have a ton of the
older kids. You see?

10
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,570
We have Kate and Teddy, each
going potty for the first time.

11
00:00:29,093 --> 00:00:31,574
Look at the boy strainin'.

12
00:00:33,402 --> 00:00:36,405
Face like a frustrated tomato.

13
00:00:36,448 --> 00:00:38,711
Well, what happened?
It's like we started off

14
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:41,366
as good parents
and then we just gave up.

15
00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:45,196
Okay, let's look at it
in baseball terms, okay?

16
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,242
We won the first two games
of the series,

17
00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:48,765
and then we phoned in the third.

18
00:00:50,245 --> 00:00:51,942
We were saving our bullpen.

19
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,379
Wait a minute.
Didn't I ask you to put a box

20
00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:56,599
of old baby pictures
in the top of Kate's closet?

21
00:00:56,642 --> 00:01:00,124
I don't know. You tell me to put
a lot of boxes a lot of places.

22
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:01,647
Come on, help me
get them down.

23
00:01:01,691 --> 00:01:03,954
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What if we fooled around,

24
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,957
thengot the pictures?Oh, honey,

25
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,219
if you're that worked up,

26
00:01:08,263 --> 00:01:09,655
just finish what you started
with my pillow.

27
00:01:13,355 --> 00:01:17,446
I don't even know if your pillow
likes me like that.

28
00:01:20,231 --> 00:01:22,755
: Shh. We
don't want to wake her up.

29
00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:24,453
She's our favorite.

30
00:01:24,496 --> 00:01:26,019
That's not funny.

31
00:01:34,332 --> 00:01:36,943
Kate.

32
00:01:36,987 --> 00:01:38,989
What are you doing?
Did you sneak out?

33
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,991
Why am I still whispering?

34
00:01:42,253 --> 00:01:43,428
Downstairs. Now.

35
00:01:43,472 --> 00:01:44,777
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

36
00:01:44,821 --> 00:01:47,693
This is her first sneak-out.
Hold on.

37
00:01:49,869 --> 00:01:52,045
Oh! It's a keeper.: Yeah.

38
00:02:03,622 --> 00:02:04,971
Kate, why would you sneak out?

39
00:02:05,015 --> 00:02:07,757
Was it boys? Booze?
Boys andbooze?

40
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,803
No, it wasn't like that.
I-I was at Shelby's.

41
00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:12,892
We both like A55-4U.

42
00:02:12,936 --> 00:02:13,980
Wh-What is that?

43
00:02:14,024 --> 00:02:16,157
What is that?
Some new drug? Huh?

44
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,897
Andi, get me a frying
pan and an egg.

45
00:02:17,941 --> 00:02:19,551
We're doing the
"brain on drugs" thing.

46
00:02:19,595 --> 00:02:22,424
No, no, no!
It's-it's a band I like.

47
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:23,990
Okay, well, if that's true,

48
00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:25,949
why didn't you just tell us
you were going out?

49
00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:28,778
Because it's a school night,
and I knew Dad wouldn't let me.

50
00:02:28,821 --> 00:02:30,606
It's like I'm in jail.

51
00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:32,825
Oh, well...

52
00:02:32,869 --> 00:02:34,610
we don't want you to feel
like a prisoner.

53
00:02:34,653 --> 00:02:36,960
Yes, we do.

54
00:02:37,003 --> 00:02:39,919
This is a prison,
and your sentence is 18 years.

55
00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,573
Hold on.

56
00:02:41,617 --> 00:02:44,315
Maybe we should hear
what she has to say.

57
00:02:44,359 --> 00:02:46,752
She did her talking when
she climbed out her window.

58
00:02:46,796 --> 00:02:48,580
Adam.
Andi!
Dad!

59
00:02:48,624 --> 00:02:50,147
You go to your room.

60
00:02:50,191 --> 00:02:52,932
This is so unfair!

61
00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:55,848
I was just listening
to music!

62
00:02:55,892 --> 00:02:57,328
Katie stomping up the stairs--

63
00:02:57,372 --> 00:02:59,417
that's music
welisten to every day!

64
00:03:00,505 --> 00:03:02,072
Hilarious!

65
00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:04,857
Adam.

66
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:06,859
Wait for the door slam.

67
00:03:09,297 --> 00:03:10,994
What are you doing?What are youdoing?

68
00:03:11,037 --> 00:03:13,083
I am thinking
about our daughter, okay?

69
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,085
Caring about
how your children feel

70
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,174
is part of being
a modern parent.

71
00:03:17,218 --> 00:03:20,003
Oh, modern parenting
is ruining our country.

72
00:03:20,046 --> 00:03:21,396
Okay? We coddle

73
00:03:21,439 --> 00:03:25,138
our kids so that everyone
thinks they're special.

74
00:03:25,182 --> 00:03:28,490
You know who was special?
Mary Lou Retton.

75
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,535
Oh, this is gonna take a while.

76
00:03:30,579 --> 00:03:32,407
Yeah. Settle in.

77
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,235
Did Mary Lou Retton get a hug

78
00:03:34,278 --> 00:03:36,411
when she fell off
the balance beam?

79
00:03:36,454 --> 00:03:40,371
No. She got screamed at
by an angry, old Romanian.

80
00:03:41,503 --> 00:03:43,461
So she dug deep
and won the gold.

81
00:03:43,505 --> 00:03:45,158
Well, maybe Mary Lou
would've been happier

82
00:03:45,202 --> 00:03:47,030
if she'd gotten a few more hugs.Uh-huh, yeah.

83
00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:49,032
You know what feels better
than a hug?

84
00:03:49,075 --> 00:03:50,903
Kicking Russia's ass
in gymnastics!

85
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,559
And while I feel like
I have the upper hand,

86
00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:55,995
there's something else
I want to say

87
00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:57,910
that I have been holding in
for a long time.

88
00:03:57,954 --> 00:03:59,956
This all goes back

89
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:01,305
to sleep training.

90
00:04:01,349 --> 00:04:04,613
Oh, my God.
That was 15 years ago!

91
00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:06,136
Since the beginning of time,

92
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,313
kids have figured out
how to go to sleep.

93
00:04:09,357 --> 00:04:12,229
They cried until they got bored,
and when no one came in,

94
00:04:12,273 --> 00:04:13,230
they nodded off.

95
00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:16,668
And those cave kids
were so well-rested,

96
00:04:16,712 --> 00:04:18,191
they invented fire!

97
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,892
But then, in the year 2003,

98
00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:26,983
some parents decided
that they knew better.

99
00:04:28,419 --> 00:04:31,466
And those parents...
are sitting on our couch.

100
00:04:33,729 --> 00:04:35,861
I know we agreed
to let Kate cry it out,

101
00:04:35,905 --> 00:04:37,036
but I couldn't do it.

102
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,429
All right?

103
00:04:38,473 --> 00:04:40,257
And when I picked her up,
she loved me so much.

104
00:04:40,301 --> 00:04:42,259
Well, I hope it was worth it.

105
00:04:43,304 --> 00:04:44,392
Because I can draw a direct line

106
00:04:44,435 --> 00:04:45,654
between you picking Katie up

107
00:04:45,697 --> 00:04:47,699
to her climbing
through a window.

108
00:04:47,743 --> 00:04:50,920
Modern parenting.

109
00:04:50,963 --> 00:04:53,836
Well, I don't want our kids
sneaking out.

110
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:55,272
I don't know.

111
00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:59,058
Maybe-- maybe--
I've been too easy on her.

112
00:04:59,102 --> 00:04:59,929
Yes.

113
00:04:59,972 --> 00:05:02,410
And maybe-- maybe--

114
00:05:02,453 --> 00:05:05,456
we need to shake things up,
get this thing back on track.

115
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,979
No, I-I can see that.

116
00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:09,591
I mean, you know,
somewhere between cave kids

117
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:12,115
and angry Romanians,
you made a good point.

118
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,640
Okay. You're in charge.

119
00:05:15,684 --> 00:05:17,163
Really?

120
00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,122
Yeah. What do you
want to do?

121
00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:21,298
I have dreamed
about this moment.

122
00:05:21,342 --> 00:05:23,779
Okay, first of all,
no more modern.

123
00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:26,390
We are going old school.
Shock and awe.

124
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:28,436
Huh? But you got to back me up.

125
00:05:28,479 --> 00:05:29,828
Oh, you-you have my word.

126
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,526
I won't even give her
the pizza bagel I made

127
00:05:31,569 --> 00:05:32,962
'cause she was hungry
from sneaking out.

128
00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:35,747
I'll take it.
Dads eat first.

129
00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:38,489
That's old school.

130
00:05:40,404 --> 00:05:42,145
ANDI:
So, Emme,

131
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:43,320
obviously, I took

132
00:05:43,364 --> 00:05:44,713
a million baby pictures of you,

133
00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:46,497
but I can't find any of them

134
00:05:46,541 --> 00:05:48,499
because your old babysitter
stole them.

135
00:05:49,544 --> 00:05:51,154
Yeah, yeah, she, uh,

136
00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:52,851
she-she sent them
to a modeling agency

137
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,200
since you're so darn cute.

138
00:05:56,202 --> 00:05:58,030
But don't try to track
those pictures down.

139
00:05:58,074 --> 00:06:02,731
That modeling agency was
swallowed by a giant whale.

140
00:06:02,774 --> 00:06:04,123
Uh-huh.

141
00:06:05,168 --> 00:06:07,170
So, for your
school project,

142
00:06:07,213 --> 00:06:08,824
we are going to...

143
00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:11,522
fake a baby picture.Pop in this binky,

144
00:06:11,566 --> 00:06:13,916
and we'll take one from far away
so you look small.

145
00:06:17,441 --> 00:06:19,138
KATE:
Oh, my God! Mom!

146
00:06:19,182 --> 00:06:22,141
Dad took my door!

147
00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:25,057
Welcome to the old school.

148
00:06:25,101 --> 00:06:26,494
Katie, you have shown

149
00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:27,538
that you can't be trusted.

150
00:06:27,582 --> 00:06:28,844
This way,

151
00:06:28,887 --> 00:06:30,715
I can keep track
of your every move.

152
00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:33,718
Plus, what are you gonna
slam now, Slammy Davis Jr.?

153
00:06:41,247 --> 00:06:43,424
Why do we have so many doors?

154
00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:46,339
This seems hard.
Have you considered

155
00:06:46,383 --> 00:06:48,907
just letting it be
her boyfriend's problem someday?

156
00:06:52,084 --> 00:06:54,739
Oh-ho-ho-ho.

157
00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:03,879
What are you doing?

158
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:06,272
Katie is in her closet
laughing it up

159
00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:08,231
with her friend on the phone.

160
00:07:08,274 --> 00:07:10,451
She is in trouble.
Why is she laughing?

161
00:07:10,494 --> 00:07:11,669
Well...I'll tell you why.

162
00:07:11,713 --> 00:07:13,584
Okay, you go.

163
00:07:13,628 --> 00:07:15,281
Modern parenting.

164
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:19,938
Oh, that's it?

165
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,897
I thought you were gonna talk
for ten minutes again,

166
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:24,421
and I was gonna go grab
a granola bar for sustenance.

167
00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:26,510
She doesn't get to be happy.

168
00:07:26,554 --> 00:07:28,730
In old school, no one is happy.

169
00:07:28,773 --> 00:07:32,255
Look at any old-timey
picture. Miserable!

170
00:07:32,298 --> 00:07:33,517
Mm.

171
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,479
Eh-eh-eh?

172
00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:41,786
Busted.

173
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:42,961
For what?

174
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,573
Excessive laughing.

175
00:07:45,616 --> 00:07:48,010
You just lost
your closet door, missy.

176
00:07:49,141 --> 00:07:52,144
Andi, get my tools.

177
00:07:52,188 --> 00:07:53,798
Why don't you
just take her phone?

178
00:07:53,842 --> 00:07:55,278
That's smarter.

179
00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:56,758
And meaner.

180
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,108
You just lost your phone, missy.

181
00:08:00,979 --> 00:08:03,939
She'll call you back
in a few years.

182
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,375
Wait, hold on.

183
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,291
I need that. I'm doing a
group project for Spanish.

184
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:11,033
Oh. Okay, well,
if it's for school,

185
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:13,426
you can have a phone.
I'm reasonable.

186
00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:15,864
I'm not reasonable.

187
00:08:15,907 --> 00:08:17,605
Enjoy your new phone.

188
00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:21,652
It's so old; is it for
talking to dead people?

189
00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:25,003
From now on, this...

190
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,440
is the only phone
you are allowed to use.

191
00:08:27,484 --> 00:08:31,096
AndI can keep an eye on you,
because you can only go as far

192
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,534
as the cord will reach.

193
00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:41,977
I got to make that cord shorter.

194
00:08:43,544 --> 00:08:45,546
Where'd you even get that thing?

195
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:47,852
Where's our phone?

196
00:08:48,897 --> 00:08:50,420
Adam said he needed it.

197
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,640
He better not be calling
long distance.

198
00:08:53,815 --> 00:08:55,468
KATE:
So, I'll start the presentation

199
00:08:55,512 --> 00:08:59,429
by saying, "La historia
de los conquistadores

200
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,562
es muy fascinante."

201
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,435
Enjoying your breakfast?

202
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:09,570
I know this is annoying,
but it is all gonna pay off.

203
00:09:15,358 --> 00:09:16,620
Spoon?

204
00:09:16,664 --> 00:09:19,318
Thank you.

205
00:09:19,362 --> 00:09:22,365
And then you'll say,
"Yo no sabia eso."

206
00:09:22,408 --> 00:09:23,801
I'll bet she's saying
curse words.

207
00:09:23,845 --> 00:09:25,020
She's real mad at you.

208
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,022
Good. By the way,

209
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:29,851
part of our old-school rules,
kids clean up after themselves.

210
00:09:29,894 --> 00:09:32,680
Can you please put
your dirty glass in the sink?

211
00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:33,768
Happy to.

212
00:09:33,811 --> 00:09:35,508
Mm-hmm.

213
00:09:35,552 --> 00:09:37,815
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

214
00:09:37,859 --> 00:09:39,730
I will clear the table.

215
00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:43,125
Yeah, that's good.

216
00:09:43,168 --> 00:09:45,649
And then I'll say,

217
00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:50,741
"Los conquistadores eran
guerreros viciosos."

218
00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:55,877
All right.

219
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,009
Katie, honey...

220
00:09:58,053 --> 00:10:00,403
let me show
you something.

221
00:10:04,842 --> 00:10:07,062
Adam, do we have a...

222
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:10,543
time frame on how long
this is gonna take?

223
00:10:10,587 --> 00:10:12,894
I mean, when do
we know we won?

224
00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:16,245
When she says, "I was wrong.
You were right. I'm sorry."

225
00:10:16,288 --> 00:10:19,596
You know, that thing
I always end up saying to you.

226
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,424
But you're so good at it.

227
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:24,427
Practice does
make perfect.

228
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:28,866
Kate was outside speaking
Spanish into my telephone.

229
00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:31,695
If that was an international
call, you're paying for it.

230
00:10:33,871 --> 00:10:36,569
Hey, Dad, you're
gonna love this.

231
00:10:36,613 --> 00:10:38,093
Since we caught
Katie sneaking out,

232
00:10:38,136 --> 00:10:40,443
I have been making
her life miserable

233
00:10:40,486 --> 00:10:42,880
with some tough,
old-school parenting.

234
00:10:42,924 --> 00:10:44,708
Oh, really giving her
the business, huh?

235
00:10:44,752 --> 00:10:46,536
Oh, I am locked in.

236
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:50,105
I was up all night thinking of
different ways to bum Katie out.

237
00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:51,584
So you're turning
your life upside down

238
00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:54,196
to teach a kid a lesson?Yeah.

239
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:57,112
That's the furthest thing
from old school I've ever heard.

240
00:10:57,155 --> 00:10:59,854
What? What?
You don't get it.

241
00:10:59,897 --> 00:11:02,465
I took Katie's
bedroom door.

242
00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:06,382
A door is like a teenager's
favorite thing, and I took it!

243
00:11:06,425 --> 00:11:09,777
That is stone-cold old.

244
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,343
Son, when you were a kid,

245
00:11:11,387 --> 00:11:13,868
I didn't even know
if you had a door.

246
00:11:13,911 --> 00:11:16,174
That'sold school.

247
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,568
We believed
in fresh air for kids.

248
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,963
Every morning, we just put you
outside like a milk bottle.

249
00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:24,008
What?

250
00:11:26,054 --> 00:11:28,883
Oh, no.

251
00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:32,582
Adam, what's wrong,
honey? Are...? Oh.

252
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,541
Are-are you sad 'cause your dad
didn't know if you had a door?

253
00:11:35,585 --> 00:11:38,980
What? It's worse than that.

254
00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:40,982
I'm a modern parent.

255
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:42,810
Bev, he seems upset.

256
00:11:42,853 --> 00:11:45,726
Give him one of
your muscle relaxers.

257
00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:53,734
I can't believe this.
I'm so modern,

258
00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:55,823
I don't even know
what old school is anymore.

259
00:11:55,866 --> 00:11:58,390
I'm like a cat
wearing a dog costume.

260
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:01,524
Well, you've always
been sensitive.

261
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:02,351
Remember that time

262
00:12:02,394 --> 00:12:03,831
you stood in front of

263
00:12:03,874 --> 00:12:05,571
the lobster tank crying?

264
00:12:05,615 --> 00:12:07,356
I was six.

265
00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:09,401
You told me
to pick my favorite one.

266
00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:12,317
I didn't know
what was gonna happen next.

267
00:12:12,361 --> 00:12:15,625
They put the bib on him,
and all hell broke loose.Yeah.

268
00:12:17,018 --> 00:12:18,193
Well, don't beat yourself up.

269
00:12:18,236 --> 00:12:19,847
I mean, you're not so modern.

270
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:22,588
You still hose down the driveway
in your bathrobe.

271
00:12:22,632 --> 00:12:25,896
That's just to give
the neighbor ladies a thrill.

272
00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:28,420
Hey,

273
00:12:28,464 --> 00:12:31,336
Grandma, do you have that
baby picture for my project?

274
00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:33,208
I sure do, honey.

275
00:12:33,251 --> 00:12:35,036
There you go.Thanks.

276
00:12:35,079 --> 00:12:36,777
Hmm.
Wow.

277
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:39,083
Did you see that?
We didn't have

278
00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:40,737
what Emme needed,
so she asked Bev.

279
00:12:40,781 --> 00:12:41,825
She's resourceful.

280
00:12:43,087 --> 00:12:44,610
Yeah, we raised her right.Yeah.

281
00:12:44,654 --> 00:12:46,003
She's the one
we raised the least.

282
00:12:49,964 --> 00:12:52,009
That's true.

283
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:55,708
We did the best job with Emme
by barely doing the job at all.

284
00:12:56,927 --> 00:12:59,321
That's what we should be
doing with Katie.

285
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:02,280
Back off and let life
teach her some lessons.

286
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,369
Oh, I like it.
I can really

287
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:06,415
get behind that,
instead of fake getting behind

288
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:07,895
what you were doing before.

289
00:13:07,938 --> 00:13:11,420
Yes, you can,
because I re-figured this out.

290
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:14,466
I thought I was old school,
but I was really new school.

291
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:18,644
Now I need to go oldold school.

292
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,472
You already talked
more about this

293
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:22,779
than I've talked about
you in your entire life.

294
00:13:24,955 --> 00:13:26,739
I keep looking for
a way to leave,

295
00:13:26,783 --> 00:13:27,958
but he just won't stop.Yeah.

296
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:30,482
You know what?

297
00:13:30,526 --> 00:13:32,702
Keep the phone.
Life's too short.

298
00:13:36,488 --> 00:13:38,142
Your mother and I
have decided to go

299
00:13:38,186 --> 00:13:39,840
with a different punishment.

300
00:13:39,883 --> 00:13:41,450
From now on, we're gonna
give you morefreedom.

301
00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:43,278
How do you feel
about that?

302
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,628
I... like it?Hmm.

303
00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:47,673
Well, you won't for long,

304
00:13:47,717 --> 00:13:49,980
because in real life,
there's consequences.

305
00:13:50,024 --> 00:13:51,852
Yeah, you think
we're tough?

306
00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:53,984
Life's a real
son of a gun.

307
00:13:54,028 --> 00:13:57,683
Yes, it is, so good luck
running your own life.

308
00:13:57,727 --> 00:13:59,860
Cool. I'm going to a concert
Thursday night.

309
00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:02,297
What?Andi, that's her decision.

310
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:05,213
Yeah, but that's
a school night.
Mm-mm-mm.

311
00:14:05,256 --> 00:14:07,128
You know,
for your first choice,

312
00:14:07,171 --> 00:14:08,912
I was expecting...Mm-mm-mm.

313
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:11,132
...something small,
like, you know,

314
00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:13,264
swimming right after you eat.

315
00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:15,310
But I can still go, right?

316
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,267
Absolutely.

317
00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:17,486
And on Friday morning,

318
00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,227
when you're too tired

319
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:21,490
to learn anything at school,
and you don't get into college,

320
00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:23,971
and you end up a milky-eyed
drifter, that's on you.

321
00:14:24,014 --> 00:14:26,364
Enjoy sleeping in a boxcar.

322
00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,761
ADAM:
Come on!

323
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,198
This guy's climbing
a jungle gym.

324
00:14:34,242 --> 00:14:38,115
He does not deserve
the title of "ninja warrior."

325
00:14:38,159 --> 00:14:40,335
Adam, I don't like this.

326
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:42,946
I mean, Kate is at a
concert on a school night.

327
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,556
I mean, what's she
doing? Is she dancing?

328
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,515
Is she vaping?
What's vaping? I...

329
00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:48,517
Stay strong.

330
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,997
Remember Emme?

331
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,955
I mean, remember how
we didn't remember Emme?

332
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:54,871
Lady Gaga would say she
was just born that way.

333
00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:58,657
I don't care what
the Lady of Gaga says.

334
00:14:58,701 --> 00:15:03,184
I am Adam of Pittsburgh,
and I say we need to back off

335
00:15:03,227 --> 00:15:05,882
and let Katie learn
about consequences.

336
00:15:05,926 --> 00:15:07,840
Okay.

337
00:15:07,884 --> 00:15:10,713
But maybe I'll just
google the band to see

338
00:15:10,756 --> 00:15:12,715
if there's any news
stories from the venue.

339
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:14,978
You do what you need to do.
I want no part of it.Okay.

340
00:15:15,022 --> 00:15:17,720
Oh, hey, what was the
name of that band again?

341
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,722
It was a bunch of letters
and numbers.

342
00:15:19,765 --> 00:15:21,637
I could do this.

343
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,117
I should try out
for this.

344
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,727
Oh, hey.

345
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,207
Emme, honey,
do you remember the name

346
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:28,035
of that band
that Kate likes?

347
00:15:28,078 --> 00:15:29,471
Yeah, it's A55-4U.

348
00:15:29,514 --> 00:15:30,907
Ah.

349
00:15:32,256 --> 00:15:34,911
God, Emme's great.

350
00:15:36,957 --> 00:15:39,568
A55-4U. Huh.

351
00:15:39,611 --> 00:15:41,178
What does that even mean?

352
00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:45,835
You know, when we were kids,
bands had names that made sense.

353
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:49,186
Like... Men Without Hats.

354
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:54,235
You knew what they were, and
you knew what their problem was.

355
00:15:54,278 --> 00:15:56,237
Wait, wait, wait.
Look at this.Mm.

356
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,327
When I typed it out, the
two fives look like S's.

357
00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:03,592
"A55-4U" is really...
"Ass-For-You."

358
00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:05,724
Oh, we're gonna lose
the next war.

359
00:16:07,813 --> 00:16:10,773
Okay, well, there's no bad news
from tonight's

360
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:14,951
Ass-For-You concert
at... Obermeyer College?

361
00:16:14,995 --> 00:16:17,345
What? The concert's
at a college?

362
00:16:17,388 --> 00:16:18,955
Where college boys are?

363
00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:20,957
Yeah, and-and their
college-boy beds.

364
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:23,525
That's the thing about
college boys-- they have beds!

365
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:25,701
Yeah.The hell with this.
I'm calling her.

366
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,842
You didn't give her
back her phone?

367
00:16:36,886 --> 00:16:38,453
You didn't remind me
to give her back her phone!

368
00:16:38,496 --> 00:16:39,802
You didn't tell me to remind you
to give her back her phone!

369
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:42,283
This consequen--

370
00:16:42,326 --> 00:16:44,459
This consequences thing
is happening to us!

371
00:16:44,502 --> 00:16:46,809
Life isa son of a gun!

372
00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,463
We-we have to
go get her.

373
00:16:48,506 --> 00:16:50,291
Yeah, okay. Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

374
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:51,857
If we go down there,

375
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:53,816
she'll know we couldn't
old-school her, either.

376
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:55,992
Okay.

377
00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:59,517
What if we send someone else
down there to go check on her?

378
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:03,347
Way to find
a loophole, baby!

379
00:17:03,391 --> 00:17:06,176
But what kind of weirdo
grown-ups do we know

380
00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:10,006
that would drop everything
to go to an Ass-For-You concert?

381
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:11,573
Thanks for the
tickets, Adam.

382
00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,531
Ass-For-You is
my workout jam.

383
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,881
Lowell, have
you seen Katie?

384
00:17:15,925 --> 00:17:16,708
Not yet.

385
00:17:16,752 --> 00:17:18,101
Put Don on the phone.

386
00:17:18,145 --> 00:17:19,668
Oh, good idea.
He'll spot her.

387
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:21,278
He's so tall, he
can see everything.

388
00:17:21,322 --> 00:17:22,540
He's like Google Earth.

389
00:17:24,238 --> 00:17:25,717
Go for Don.

390
00:17:25,761 --> 00:17:27,154
Any sign of Katie?

391
00:17:27,197 --> 00:17:29,330
No dice. I even stood
outside the girl's bathroom

392
00:17:29,373 --> 00:17:32,376
for a half hour until security
told me to move along.

393
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:33,725
We need to find Katie!

394
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:34,987
Don't worry, brother.

395
00:17:35,031 --> 00:17:37,207
You got the right two guys
on this mission.

396
00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:40,036
Lowell?!

397
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,385
I-I'll tell you what.

398
00:17:41,429 --> 00:17:43,257
I'll find Lowell first,
and then I'll find Katie.

399
00:17:45,911 --> 00:17:47,826
Adam, I'm worried.

400
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,654
And I love you enough
to tell you

401
00:17:49,698 --> 00:17:52,483
that if anything happens to her,
the media is gonna blame you,

402
00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:55,007
and I am not gonna be that wife
that sticks up for you.

403
00:17:55,051 --> 00:17:57,488
Screw it. Let's
go get our girl.

404
00:17:57,532 --> 00:17:58,968
Oh, yeah.

405
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:00,404
And after all
that modern parenting,

406
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:02,058
Kate can't survive
on her own.
Yeah.

407
00:18:02,102 --> 00:18:03,538
She's like a monkey
raised in captivity.

408
00:18:03,581 --> 00:18:04,930
Yeah, we can't
set her free now.

409
00:18:04,974 --> 00:18:06,410
She'll never find
her own bananas!

410
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:10,371
Ah! Our monkey's safe!

411
00:18:10,414 --> 00:18:13,330
Oh, you came home.
I'm so proud of you.Oh.

412
00:18:13,374 --> 00:18:15,245
You are?
Yeah.

413
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:17,726
Yeah, you realized
that going to a concert

414
00:18:17,769 --> 00:18:20,511
on a school night was not smart.

415
00:18:20,555 --> 00:18:21,860
Old school works.

416
00:18:21,904 --> 00:18:23,253
No, I still

417
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:24,559
wanted to go to the concert,

418
00:18:24,602 --> 00:18:26,213
but no one else
was allowed to go.

419
00:18:26,256 --> 00:18:27,910
The other parents think
you guys are crazy.

420
00:18:27,953 --> 00:18:30,042
I'd expect some angry calls.

421
00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:33,263
Oh. So you didn't learn
any lessons?

422
00:18:33,307 --> 00:18:35,091
Not as far as I know.

423
00:18:37,746 --> 00:18:40,923
Don't look at me.
I wanted to hug her.

424
00:18:40,966 --> 00:18:44,796
So, what happens now?
Can I still do whatever I want?

425
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,711
Huh.

426
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:50,062
Yeah, that's
what I think: huh.

427
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:51,977
That's a confusing answer.

428
00:18:52,021 --> 00:18:54,110
It sure is.

429
00:18:55,111 --> 00:18:56,417
And it's supposed to be,

430
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:59,289
because that was our plan
all along.

431
00:19:01,117 --> 00:19:04,381
That's right.
All along, we had a plan.

432
00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:05,774
Yeah. We wanted
to keep you guessing

433
00:19:05,817 --> 00:19:09,647
by veering wildly
from crazy strict to super easy.

434
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,693
Crazy strict,
super easy.

435
00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,390
Where are we?
You don't know.

436
00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:14,913
Yeah. You...

437
00:19:14,957 --> 00:19:16,524
are in the hands
of masters here.

438
00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:18,221
Ha!
Masters!

439
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:21,181
Yeah, so go to your room.
And do whatever you want.

440
00:19:26,186 --> 00:19:28,013
BOTH:
I... I don't know.

441
00:19:34,281 --> 00:19:35,760
Well, we squeaked
through that one.
Yeah.

442
00:19:35,804 --> 00:19:37,936
If she hadn't come home,
we would've gone to get her.

443
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:40,417
Yeah. We're not new
school, or old school,

444
00:19:40,461 --> 00:19:42,158
or oldold school.

445
00:19:42,202 --> 00:19:43,986
We got expelled
from every school.

446
00:19:46,075 --> 00:19:49,383
We have no power
because we love 'em too much.Mm.

447
00:19:49,426 --> 00:19:52,081
You know, kids-- they lock you
in early with their cuteness,

448
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,475
and then you're screwed.

449
00:19:54,518 --> 00:19:58,914
So, how do you control
someone you love?

450
00:19:58,957 --> 00:20:02,396
Wait. How did you get me
to go see Mamma Mia on Ice?

451
00:20:02,439 --> 00:20:05,137
I locked you in early
with my cuteness,

452
00:20:05,181 --> 00:20:07,227
and now you're screwed.

453
00:20:08,706 --> 00:20:10,839
Ah, so I guess we
just white-knuckle it

454
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:12,362
till Katie's out
of the house.

455
00:20:12,406 --> 00:20:14,973
Mm, maybe we let her be
her boyfriend's problem,

456
00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:17,062
go with Don's solution.

457
00:20:17,106 --> 00:20:20,414
Scary times.

458
00:20:20,457 --> 00:20:23,852
Hey, party people.

459
00:20:23,895 --> 00:20:25,897
Lowell, what happened?
Are you okay?

460
00:20:25,941 --> 00:20:28,509
It was the greatest night
of my life.

461
00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:30,554
I got swept up in the crowd,

462
00:20:30,598 --> 00:20:32,295
and someone gave me
a breath mint

463
00:20:32,339 --> 00:20:34,689
that made me love everybody.

464
00:20:37,213 --> 00:20:39,520
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Dad.

465
00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:41,435
You guys, look.

466
00:20:41,478 --> 00:20:43,263
I found Kate.

467
00:20:49,356 --> 00:20:53,316
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

468
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,362
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org