1
00:00:04,895 --> 00:00:08,029
Hey, the flip-house looks great.

2
00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:09,334
Are you cleaning?

3
00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:12,120
No, I'm robbing the place.
Yes, I'm cleaning.

4
00:00:12,163 --> 00:00:14,861
Andi starts work with us
tomorrow,

5
00:00:14,905 --> 00:00:16,820
and you know what I realized
at 2:00 this morning?

6
00:00:16,863 --> 00:00:18,474
I didn't think this through.

7
00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:20,345
Well, I don't think
anything through

8
00:00:20,389 --> 00:00:21,868
and I sleep like a baby.

9
00:00:23,218 --> 00:00:25,046
She's gonna be here
all the time.

10
00:00:25,089 --> 00:00:27,657
So I came up with a solution,
I'm wife-proofing.

11
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:32,270
Oh, it's like baby-proofing,
but so you don't end up crying.

12
00:00:32,314 --> 00:00:35,665
Exactly. Hey, like,
look at our fridge, huh?

13
00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:37,362
It's full of work beers.

14
00:00:37,406 --> 00:00:41,149
Wives don't understand
the concept of work beers.

15
00:00:41,192 --> 00:00:43,716
At NASA, they had an open bar
in mission control

16
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,892
and they still landed
on the moon.

17
00:00:45,936 --> 00:00:48,025
I don't think they had that.

18
00:00:48,069 --> 00:00:51,289
I know space history,
that's my area, okay?

19
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:53,335
Oh.

20
00:00:53,378 --> 00:00:56,338
I've got to get rid of these
Sausage McMuffin wrappers.

21
00:00:56,381 --> 00:00:58,166
Andi sees me have breakfast
at home,

22
00:00:58,209 --> 00:01:01,517
she doesn't need to know
I have second breakfast here.

23
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:05,608
Andi won't be mad; it's a second
breakfast, not a second wife.

24
00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:07,566
No, she won't get mad,
but she will want

25
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,133
to have a conversation about it.

26
00:01:09,177 --> 00:01:10,569
"Why do you need
a second breakfast?"

27
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:12,136
"Are you swallowing feelings?"

28
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:14,051
The problem is,

29
00:01:14,095 --> 00:01:15,966
wives want to dive into stuff.

30
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,142
But there's no deep end
in the man pool.

31
00:01:18,186 --> 00:01:20,666
It's three feet
all the way across.

32
00:01:20,710 --> 00:01:24,105
We keep it simple, and
we get stuff done, huh?

33
00:01:24,148 --> 00:01:25,932
Oh, which reminds me.

34
00:01:25,976 --> 00:01:28,935
What do we do if Andi's here
and we get done with work early?

35
00:01:28,979 --> 00:01:32,156
The usual: We hit the batting
cages, eat some hotdogs.

36
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,332
Second lunch,
you taught me that.

37
00:01:34,376 --> 00:01:37,248
No, no, because then Andi
will wonder

38
00:01:37,292 --> 00:01:39,032
why do I want to hang out
with the guys?

39
00:01:39,076 --> 00:01:40,599
Why don't I want to be home?

40
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,079
So from now on,

41
00:01:42,123 --> 00:01:43,820
if we finish work early, we say,

42
00:01:43,863 --> 00:01:47,824
"Wow, we finished work early
for the first time ever.

43
00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:51,567
Let's rush right home
and be with our families." Hmm?

44
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:53,395
That doesn't sound like us.

45
00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:56,920
We're gonna have to
call the hotdog guy

46
00:01:56,963 --> 00:01:58,704
and let him know
we're okay.

47
00:01:58,748 --> 00:02:02,230
Also, Don, I have terrible news.

48
00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:04,232
You have to take down
your tool girl calendar.

49
00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:07,365
No. Not Donny's Angels.

50
00:02:07,409 --> 00:02:09,715
I'll just put Post-its over
their naughty bits,

51
00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,891
and then we can lift them up
like little skirts.

52
00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:14,851
If you don't take it down,
Andi's gonna have questions.

53
00:02:14,894 --> 00:02:16,592
"Why do you feel the need
to look at other women?"

54
00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:18,507
"Is Marcy not enough for you?"

55
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:22,250
I love Marcy. When she makes
a calendar, I'll buy that.

56
00:02:22,293 --> 00:02:24,077
Take it down.

57
00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:25,775
And don't put it in your desk;
you'll spend all day

58
00:02:25,818 --> 00:02:27,124
with your head in the drawer.

59
00:02:29,953 --> 00:02:33,783
Hey, Dad, thanks for taking
the kids to school.My pleasure.

60
00:02:33,826 --> 00:02:35,567
It's your first day working
with your wife,

61
00:02:35,611 --> 00:02:38,570
so I wanted to be here to say
"nice knowing you."

62
00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:40,790
I think I'll be all right.

63
00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:43,227
You're gonna be together
all day, every day.

64
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:45,795
She's gonna get
a real long look at you.

65
00:02:45,838 --> 00:02:48,406
And the more they look,
the more they see.

66
00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:50,278
Who're you talking to, huh?

67
00:02:50,321 --> 00:02:52,105
I already wife-proofed
the trailer.

68
00:02:52,149 --> 00:02:54,456
I hid stuff like a good husband.

69
00:02:54,499 --> 00:02:56,980
Good morning, fellas.

70
00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:58,416
This is it, honey.

71
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,984
You and me working together.

72
00:03:01,027 --> 00:03:02,942
Hey, can we hold hands
at the office? Probably not.

73
00:03:02,986 --> 00:03:05,771
I won't. I might. I don't know.
Aren't you excited?

74
00:03:05,815 --> 00:03:08,600
Of course I am. Yeah.
I'm so excited,

75
00:03:08,644 --> 00:03:11,864
I am gonna hold your hand right
now, what do you think of that?

76
00:03:11,908 --> 00:03:13,692
I like it.

77
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:16,129
Working together's
already so fun.

78
00:03:16,173 --> 00:03:17,522
Give it time.

79
00:03:19,089 --> 00:03:20,308
Hey, guys,
we made you something.

80
00:03:20,351 --> 00:03:22,005
Wh...?

81
00:03:22,048 --> 00:03:24,616
Mom and Dad
lunch boxes. Cool.

82
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,618
You guys are so sweet.

83
00:03:26,662 --> 00:03:27,880
Well, we just think
it's great you guys

84
00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,317
are starting this
new chapter together.

85
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,057
It's going to be wonderful.

86
00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:35,236
Well, we love you guys.
Have a great day at school.

87
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:38,456
I bet their day won't be
as great as ours.

88
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,153
Uh, definitely not.

89
00:03:40,197 --> 00:03:41,851
You guys are adorable.

90
00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:44,157
Have fun.

91
00:03:44,201 --> 00:03:47,160
20 bucks says
they won't make it a week.

92
00:03:47,204 --> 00:03:48,684
I'll take that action.

93
00:04:02,698 --> 00:04:04,439
Here she is.

94
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:05,918
Can we get a warm welcome

95
00:04:05,962 --> 00:04:09,618
for our new interior decorator,
Andi Burns?

96
00:04:09,661 --> 00:04:10,836
I mean it, clap.

97
00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:14,710
Thank you, thank you.

98
00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:17,103
Don't get me used to that or
you'll have to do it every day.

99
00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:22,108
Man, it's clean in here.

100
00:04:22,152 --> 00:04:23,284
Is it?

101
00:04:24,633 --> 00:04:26,765
Hey, where is Don's
nudie calendar?

102
00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:30,421
Oh. Oh, I took that down
because I got tired

103
00:04:30,465 --> 00:04:32,597
of looking at half-naked ladies.

104
00:04:32,641 --> 00:04:34,425
You got to grow up sometime.

105
00:04:34,469 --> 00:04:37,646
We're so proud of him.Uh-uh.

106
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,344
Did you change things for me?

107
00:04:40,388 --> 00:04:42,738
I mean, did you,
like, wife-proof?

108
00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:44,392
Wife-proof?

109
00:04:44,435 --> 00:04:45,915
What's that?

110
00:04:45,958 --> 00:04:48,787
You can't just
make up words.

111
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:52,443
Listen, honey, don't think
of me as your wife here, okay?

112
00:04:52,487 --> 00:04:53,923
Nothing has to change.

113
00:04:53,966 --> 00:04:56,708
I am just one of the guys.

114
00:04:56,752 --> 00:04:59,058
Well, since you're one of
the guys, I should tell you

115
00:04:59,102 --> 00:05:02,627
that somebody's wife is
coming in today, so be cool.

116
00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:05,326
I'm serious, I can hang.

117
00:05:05,369 --> 00:05:07,371
Then great. I'm gonna put
my calendar back up.

118
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:08,981
I didn't grow out of it at all.

119
00:05:09,025 --> 00:05:11,854
If anything, the older I get,
the more I need it.

120
00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:14,509
Although,
it does make me wonder,

121
00:05:14,552 --> 00:05:17,468
why do you feel the need
to look at those girls?

122
00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:18,730
There it is.

123
00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,906
You can't say "wife"
without "why."

124
00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:24,606
Hey, Donny's Angels
are Donny's business.

125
00:05:24,649 --> 00:05:27,870
Maybe Adam was right to be
worried about you working here.

126
00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:29,959
He said he was worried?

127
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:31,177
You told me you were excited.

128
00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:33,223
I-I am excited.

129
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,617
Let's hear it again
for Andi Burns.

130
00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:39,708
So you told them you were
worried about working with me.

131
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:42,275
To be honest, when
I hear you say it,

132
00:05:42,319 --> 00:05:44,669
it doesn't sound
like something I'd say.

133
00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:46,889
Right, guys?
Back me up here.

134
00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:48,891
Wow, we finished early
for the first time ever.

135
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,632
Let's rush right home
to be with our families.

136
00:05:55,114 --> 00:05:56,725
Okay, fine.

137
00:05:56,768 --> 00:05:59,684
If I was worried about
anything, it's that...

138
00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:01,556
it's that you like
to dig into things

139
00:06:01,599 --> 00:06:03,819
and talk about
people's feelings.

140
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:06,909
Why this? Why that?
Why? Why? Why?

141
00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:09,041
Why does that bother you
so much?

142
00:06:09,085 --> 00:06:10,652
At home it's great,

143
00:06:10,695 --> 00:06:12,654
it's tolerable,
it's great.

144
00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:16,440
But in this office, we like to
keep things nice and shallow.

145
00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,573
Okay? Otherwise, you open
up a whole can of worms

146
00:06:18,616 --> 00:06:20,270
and we don't get any work done.

147
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,229
And believe me, those two guys
have got a lot of worms.

148
00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:25,884
Well, I don't want to get
in the way of work.

149
00:06:26,755 --> 00:06:29,279
Okay, I can be shallow.

150
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,411
That's my girl.

151
00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:31,847
Yeah.

152
00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:33,631
Put Don's nudie calendar back up

153
00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:36,068
and I won't ask why he likes it.

154
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:38,680
Even though it's a clear
indication of deeper problems.

155
00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:40,769
Great. I-It's in
Lowell's drawer.

156
00:06:45,513 --> 00:06:47,079
Oh, my God.

157
00:06:47,123 --> 00:06:48,907
Yeah, I-I know.
That calendar's a little much.

158
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,474
We'll skip December.

159
00:06:50,518 --> 00:06:52,781
Mrs. Claus does not hold
a wrench like that.

160
00:06:52,824 --> 00:06:55,827
No, no. Look at this.

161
00:06:55,871 --> 00:06:59,309
It's a lease for an apartment
Lowell rented a month ago.

162
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,006
Why would he
rent an apartment?

163
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:04,923
I don't know.He has a house with
a wife and kids.

164
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,056
Do you think
he and Jen split up?

165
00:07:07,099 --> 00:07:09,362
How's his mood?
Does he seem okay?

166
00:07:09,406 --> 00:07:11,930
H-- These are not
shallow questions, honey.

167
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,454
Okay? Around here,
we like to stick

168
00:07:13,497 --> 00:07:16,718
to stuff like,
"What kind of sauce is that?"

169
00:07:16,761 --> 00:07:19,503
Sorry, you're right, I agreed.

170
00:07:19,547 --> 00:07:21,070
Thank you. All right.

171
00:07:21,113 --> 00:07:23,464
Now, let's get
to work, huh?

172
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,251
Okay, that thing
I just agreed to?

173
00:07:28,294 --> 00:07:29,774
I don't want to
do that anymore.

174
00:07:29,818 --> 00:07:31,210
Um, you have
to talk to Lowell.

175
00:07:31,254 --> 00:07:33,082
But it's none
of our business.

176
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:35,563
Okay? If he wanted to talk about
it, he would've talked about it.

177
00:07:35,606 --> 00:07:37,913
Well, maybe he doesn't feel
comfortable talking about it

178
00:07:37,956 --> 00:07:40,437
because you don't make him feel
comfortable talking about it.

179
00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:42,091
You know what you're
doing right now?

180
00:07:42,134 --> 00:07:43,614
You're opening up
a can of worms.

181
00:07:43,658 --> 00:07:45,398
And you know what worms catch?

182
00:07:45,442 --> 00:07:47,879
The fish of truth.

183
00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:50,534
Look how happy you are
with yourself, huh?

184
00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:52,623
It's like your face thinks
what you said makes sense.

185
00:07:54,146 --> 00:07:56,627
I'm sorry, Adam, you have
to talk to Lowell.

186
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:57,628
There's no other choice.

187
00:07:57,672 --> 00:07:59,108
There's lots of other choices.

188
00:07:59,151 --> 00:08:01,414
Like ignoring it.
I choose that choice.

189
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:05,201
I told you there'd be trouble
on day one.

190
00:08:05,244 --> 00:08:07,769
Pay up, shorties.

191
00:08:07,812 --> 00:08:09,031
Will you take
a mini Snickers?

192
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,555
Damn right I will.

193
00:08:11,599 --> 00:08:13,383
Lowell rented an apartment.

194
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,558
That's the kind
of thing people do

195
00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:15,864
when their marriage
is breaking up.

196
00:08:15,907 --> 00:08:17,387
So go check on your friend.

197
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,651
You know we got no
work done today, right?

198
00:08:22,261 --> 00:08:24,437
This is why I was reluctant

199
00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:26,048
for you to come to the office.

200
00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:28,354
Oh, so now it's reluctant.

201
00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:30,574
It's gone from worried
to reluctant.

202
00:08:30,618 --> 00:08:33,359
Stop listening to my
words and let me talk.

203
00:08:33,403 --> 00:08:35,100
Hmm?

204
00:08:35,144 --> 00:08:38,364
Okay, well, if you want
to talk, go talk to Lowell.

205
00:08:38,408 --> 00:08:40,497
Share your feelings with him
and then report back to me.

206
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,586
I don't want to do that.
I work with him.

207
00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:45,067
That's right, he's part
of your work family.

208
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,025
That is a phrase
that a wife made up,

209
00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:48,549
That's not a real thing.

210
00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:50,855
Okay,
but aren't you curious

211
00:08:50,899 --> 00:08:52,117
why he rented an apartment?

212
00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:54,555
No, I am never curious why.

213
00:08:54,598 --> 00:08:57,732
When the NASA guys were boozing
it up in mission control

214
00:08:57,775 --> 00:09:01,344
and someone said let's go to
the moon, nobody asked why.

215
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:04,739
Okay, you don't have
to talk to Lowell.

216
00:09:04,782 --> 00:09:06,654
Oh.

217
00:09:06,697 --> 00:09:10,135
We can just sit here and talk
about why you don't want to.

218
00:09:10,179 --> 00:09:13,312
Oh. I'll go.

219
00:09:13,356 --> 00:09:14,749
Oh.

220
00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,533
Another piece
of space history for you.

221
00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:18,143
The reason those guys wanted
to go to the moon

222
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:19,449
is they were all married.

223
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:27,065
I don't get it. Why do I have
to come to Lowell's apartment?

224
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:30,329
Nobody gets to ask
me why anymore.

225
00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:34,290
You're so tense, maybe you need
an apple juice or something.

226
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:36,684
I brought you with me
just in case Andi's right

227
00:09:36,727 --> 00:09:38,511
and Lowell's all emotional.

228
00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:42,037
You're like a funny thing
for him to look at.

229
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,342
This is it.

230
00:09:43,386 --> 00:09:44,648
All right, let's do this.

231
00:09:44,692 --> 00:09:46,607
You and me together, brother.

232
00:09:49,218 --> 00:09:51,742
Adam. How'd you find me?

233
00:09:51,786 --> 00:09:54,179
We came to make sure
you were all right.

234
00:09:54,223 --> 00:09:56,051
Who's we?
Me and...

235
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:58,619
What?

236
00:09:58,662 --> 00:10:01,534
I'll be in the car.
You got this.

237
00:10:03,711 --> 00:10:06,148
Andi found the lease to this
place and thinks maybe

238
00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:08,237
you and Jen split
up or something.

239
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,326
Oh. Well, everything's great.

240
00:10:10,369 --> 00:10:12,676
I knew it.
Of course it is.

241
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,811
Jen and I are just exploring the
adventure of marital separation.

242
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,988
You did split up.

243
00:10:20,031 --> 00:10:21,554
W-Why didn't
you say anything?

244
00:10:21,598 --> 00:10:22,991
It's only temporary.

245
00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:24,993
More of a housing glitch
than anything.

246
00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:28,736
The glitch being she chases me
away when I go near our house.

247
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:33,349
Okay. Uh, that
sounds like something

248
00:10:33,392 --> 00:10:35,438
you might want to
share feelings about.

249
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,095
I'm ready. Do it.
Just do it.

250
00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:41,749
I don't want
to talk about it.

251
00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:43,489
There are no feelings here.

252
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:45,013
That's good. Great.

253
00:10:45,056 --> 00:10:46,579
Keep it inside
like a man.

254
00:10:46,623 --> 00:10:48,756
Hey, you got any beer?

255
00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,279
We can celebrate
your independence.

256
00:10:50,322 --> 00:10:52,498
I only have light beer.Perfect!

257
00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:55,588
Light beer, because
we keep it light, huh?

258
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,635
Oh.

259
00:11:02,639 --> 00:11:04,728
This is where
you're staying?

260
00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:06,251
It's cozy.

261
00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:08,819
I eat there,

262
00:11:08,863 --> 00:11:10,473
I sit there,

263
00:11:10,516 --> 00:11:12,301
sometimes, I walk
over there,

264
00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:13,694
but then I come
back over here,

265
00:11:13,737 --> 00:11:15,870
because this is where
the party happens.

266
00:11:17,741 --> 00:11:20,526
You don't even have a TV.

267
00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:23,312
A TV, Lowell!

268
00:11:23,355 --> 00:11:24,966
I don't mind.
I just tape my phone

269
00:11:25,009 --> 00:11:26,489
to the wall and watch that.

270
00:11:26,532 --> 00:11:29,361
Okay. I guess that's something.

271
00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:31,668
Wait.

272
00:11:31,712 --> 00:11:33,322
Where's the bed?

273
00:11:33,365 --> 00:11:35,672
I grabbed my daughter's
sleeping bag on the way out.

274
00:11:35,716 --> 00:11:37,718
But it's three feet long.

275
00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:41,678
That's okay. These days,
I sleep in the fetal position.

276
00:11:43,549 --> 00:11:45,638
You said
there wouldn't be feelings.

277
00:11:45,682 --> 00:11:48,206
That gives me a big feeling,
Lowell!

278
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,687
I'm sorry. Do you want to

279
00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:53,342
walk over there for a second
and come back over here?

280
00:11:53,385 --> 00:11:54,865
It helps me.

281
00:11:54,909 --> 00:11:57,085
All right, get your stuff.

282
00:11:57,128 --> 00:11:58,303
You're coming with me.

283
00:11:58,347 --> 00:12:00,001
Really?
Well, I can't
leave you here.

284
00:12:00,044 --> 00:12:02,133
You have no TV.
You'll die!

285
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,537
So Lowell's staying with us?

286
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,626
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

287
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,150
Are you happy now?

288
00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:21,892
I am happy. I think it's a
good thing I went to work today.

289
00:12:21,936 --> 00:12:26,810
When I ask, "Are you happy
now?", it means I'm not happy.

290
00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:29,160
Okay, well, after we help
Lowell, we'll help you.

291
00:12:29,204 --> 00:12:31,032
Oh.
Pantry!

292
00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:39,257
Don't... don't you see
what you did?

293
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:42,565
If I don't know about stuff,
I don't have to fix it.

294
00:12:42,608 --> 00:12:44,828
That's why I turn off
the UNICEF commercial

295
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,874
before they show the kids.

296
00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:49,877
Otherwise, it's too sad,
and I end up buying 'em a goat.

297
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,313
You know how many goats

298
00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:53,881
are running around
villages named Adam?

299
00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:55,360
They-they don't
name the goats after...

300
00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:58,189
Yes, they do.
Yes, they do.

301
00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:00,496
You put me in this position!

302
00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,672
Oh. So you're mad

303
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,717
because I think
you're a good person?

304
00:13:04,761 --> 00:13:06,545
I don't love it.

305
00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:09,505
And now, thanks to you, I got
a giant sad kid on my couch,

306
00:13:09,548 --> 00:13:10,985
and I got to fix it.

307
00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:13,639
Because you're a sweet
and sensitive man.

308
00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:16,512
That's a low blow, Andi.

309
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:21,517
Why didn't you tell us
you and Jen split up?

310
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,040
Because it's
just temporary.

311
00:13:23,084 --> 00:13:24,737
Yeah, Lowell
explained to us

312
00:13:24,781 --> 00:13:26,348
that he's giving
Jen some space

313
00:13:26,391 --> 00:13:28,567
while she
temporarily sleeps

314
00:13:28,611 --> 00:13:30,700
with her horse-riding
instructor.

315
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:35,879
Yeah, the whole car ride home
was one long UNICEF commercial.

316
00:13:35,923 --> 00:13:37,881
I have a question.

317
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,883
She's with a horse guy, right?

318
00:13:39,927 --> 00:13:41,754
It makes me wonder.

319
00:13:41,798 --> 00:13:43,756
Do you think
"roll in the hay" comes

320
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,367
from doing it
in the hayloft?

321
00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:50,024
Maybe let's save the
questions for the end.

322
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:52,026
Guys, I'm fine.

323
00:13:52,069 --> 00:13:53,897
I'm sure we'll be
back together soon.

324
00:13:53,941 --> 00:13:56,857
I-I have another question.

325
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,119
No, no, no. No.

326
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:01,383
It's a real one.

327
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:03,428
If she did this to you,

328
00:14:03,472 --> 00:14:05,866
why do you want her back?

329
00:14:05,909 --> 00:14:08,303
Every so often,
he surprises you.

330
00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:13,525
Like a whale surfacing
next to your kayak.

331
00:14:14,744 --> 00:14:16,659
Startling,
but beautiful.

332
00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:18,095
Yeah.

333
00:14:18,139 --> 00:14:21,098
I want her back
because she's my...

334
00:14:21,142 --> 00:14:23,492
We've been...

335
00:14:24,841 --> 00:14:26,843
Why doI want her back?

336
00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:29,454
I was a great husband

337
00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:31,369
and she wasn't that good a wife.

338
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,154
This is a little thing,

339
00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:35,939
but she never once replaced
an empty toilet paper roll.

340
00:14:35,983 --> 00:14:37,854
I think she did it
just to make me duck-walk

341
00:14:37,898 --> 00:14:40,509
around the house
with my pants around my ankles.

342
00:14:40,552 --> 00:14:42,903
Ah, yes, the march
of the penguins.

343
00:14:44,295 --> 00:14:46,254
I deserve better!

344
00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:48,952
You know what?
You really do.

345
00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:49,997
And you're on
my team now,

346
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,173
and no one screws
with my team.

347
00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:53,609
I want to do something.

348
00:14:53,652 --> 00:14:55,219
I just...
I don't know what.

349
00:14:55,263 --> 00:14:57,004
I'll tell you
what you're gonna do.

350
00:14:57,047 --> 00:15:00,616
Look at him. He's gonna
buy that kid a goat.

351
00:15:00,659 --> 00:15:04,098
You and the team are gonna
go over to your house,

352
00:15:04,141 --> 00:15:07,231
get all your stuff and let
Jen know that you are moving on.

353
00:15:07,275 --> 00:15:08,580
Yes!
Right?

354
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:10,278
No.
Why?

355
00:15:10,321 --> 00:15:12,019
We can't. Her and the girls
are at her parents',

356
00:15:12,062 --> 00:15:13,934
and she changed the locks
on our house.

357
00:15:13,977 --> 00:15:17,067
What? She changed the locks
on you after what shedid? Oh.

358
00:15:17,111 --> 00:15:20,288
I really want to slap this girl
right in the sweet potatoes.

359
00:15:20,331 --> 00:15:22,638
Oh.

360
00:15:22,681 --> 00:15:24,727
So we'll just break in.
Then when she gets back

361
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,337
and sees that all
your stuff is gone,

362
00:15:26,381 --> 00:15:27,991
she'll be in for
a big surprise.

363
00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:30,254
Yeah, a meansurprise.: Yeah.

364
00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:33,954
Like I got the day I came to
pick her up early at the barn.

365
00:15:33,997 --> 00:15:36,173
Let's not look back.
Let's look forward.

366
00:15:36,217 --> 00:15:38,349
I bet she was looking
back, though, right?

367
00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:44,181
What? I've been good this
whole time. I don't get one?

368
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,976
Shh!

369
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,073
ANDI: Oh. Okay.
Let go. Let go!

370
00:16:06,116 --> 00:16:08,118
Ooh.

371
00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:14,472
This is like when Dad tried to
save money on the pony ride.

372
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,126
Just go.
No, yougo ahead.

373
00:16:16,170 --> 00:16:18,563
Okay, I'm taking you
with me.
What? What?

374
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:24,613
What are you doing?

375
00:16:24,656 --> 00:16:26,484
Hiding the remote
under the cushion.

376
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,138
Try and change the
channel now, Jen.

377
00:16:28,182 --> 00:16:31,446
You'll have to walk to
the TV like a sucker.

378
00:16:31,489 --> 00:16:33,100
Okay, let's just get Lowell's
stuff and get out of here.

379
00:16:33,143 --> 00:16:35,667
Relax. Nobody saw us break in.

380
00:16:35,711 --> 00:16:37,495
We were sneaky, like ninjas.

381
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,716
WOMAN:
Shady Side Security.

382
00:16:40,759 --> 00:16:42,065
ADAM:
Shh.

383
00:16:42,109 --> 00:16:43,719
They don't know
we're in here.

384
00:16:43,762 --> 00:16:45,460
WOMAN:
I know you're in there.

385
00:16:45,503 --> 00:16:48,202
One of you is wearing
light-up shoes.

386
00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:51,205
I told you not
to wear those stupid shoes.

387
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:56,166
Marcy and I are going
power-walking after this.

388
00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:58,168
Safety first, guys.

389
00:16:59,909 --> 00:17:01,824
Wait. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

390
00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:04,087
What are you gonna say?Don't worry. I got this.

391
00:17:06,307 --> 00:17:08,265
Thank God you're here.

392
00:17:08,309 --> 00:17:10,920
These violent criminals
broke into my house.

393
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,575
Look, Mr. Franklin,
your wife told the office

394
00:17:13,618 --> 00:17:17,579
you two separated and to keep an
eye out for you, so, let's go.

395
00:17:17,622 --> 00:17:20,147
Wait a minute.
Where's the other guy?

396
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:25,108
What other guy?

397
00:17:25,152 --> 00:17:27,850
They don't pay me enough
to care. Come on.

398
00:17:27,893 --> 00:17:29,939
If I ever

399
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,681
become a criminal, this is the
first neighborhood I'm hitting.

400
00:17:34,117 --> 00:17:35,727
ANDI:
I can't believe

401
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:37,164
Adam ditched us.

402
00:17:37,207 --> 00:17:39,514
I thought if anybody'd
run away, it'd be you.

403
00:17:39,557 --> 00:17:41,690
Well, I wouldn't
have gotten very far.

404
00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:44,127
The faster I move,
the brighter my shoes blink.

405
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,435
Why did I hide the remote?

406
00:17:47,478 --> 00:17:49,132
I should've taken it!

407
00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:50,568
Everyone loves
finding the remote.

408
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,440
Now she's gonna find it
and be happy.

409
00:17:52,483 --> 00:17:54,616
That's not payback!

410
00:17:54,659 --> 00:17:56,487
Where have you been?

411
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,054
Well,

412
00:17:58,098 --> 00:17:59,664
while you jokers
were getting caught,

413
00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:01,971
I hid in the closet
like a ninja.

414
00:18:04,452 --> 00:18:07,933
You can't just say normal things
and then add "like a ninja."

415
00:18:07,977 --> 00:18:10,545
I ate a meatball sandwich...
like a ninja.

416
00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:13,069
Don't step on my moment, Andi.

417
00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:14,723
I'm getting to something good.

418
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,030
Okay, now,
I didn't get your clothes,

419
00:18:18,074 --> 00:18:20,598
because, well, honestly,
I couldn't tell the difference

420
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,165
between yours and Jen's.

421
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:25,821
But I did find a way

422
00:18:25,864 --> 00:18:28,040
to make her very unhappy.

423
00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:30,217
This is my gift to you.

424
00:18:37,311 --> 00:18:39,878
Her toilet paper?

425
00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:42,968
He took her toilet paper!
That's so imaginative.

426
00:18:43,012 --> 00:18:46,537
Huh? Every roll in the house.

427
00:18:46,581 --> 00:18:49,192
Who's gonna be doing
the march of the penguins now?

428
00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:52,500
Oh, that is good.

429
00:18:52,543 --> 00:18:55,198
Plus, it saves me a run
to Costco.

430
00:18:55,242 --> 00:18:57,026
Yeah. Yeah. And now,

431
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,723
there's no one there
to replace it.

432
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:01,204
She is gonna regret
the day she let you go.

433
00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:03,554
Every time she has to go.Yeah.

434
00:19:03,598 --> 00:19:05,426
Mm-hmm.

435
00:19:05,469 --> 00:19:07,819
Now thatis payback.

436
00:19:07,863 --> 00:19:09,560
Enjoy the duck walk.

437
00:19:09,604 --> 00:19:11,823
Quack quack, Jen.

438
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:14,565
Thank you for this.

439
00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:16,263
You're welcome.

440
00:19:19,788 --> 00:19:22,312
You hug like a ninja.

441
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:26,360
Thank you, Lowell.

442
00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:34,542
Okay, Lowell is out cold.

443
00:19:34,585 --> 00:19:36,761
He really does sleep
in the fetal position.

444
00:19:38,415 --> 00:19:39,938
I tried to straighten him out,

445
00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:42,245
and he just snapped right back,
like a curly hair.

446
00:19:44,421 --> 00:19:46,597
Sorry we didn't get
much work done today.

447
00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:48,643
Eh, we've done less.

448
00:19:48,686 --> 00:19:51,298
Well, I-I'm serious.

449
00:19:51,341 --> 00:19:53,691
I don't want me being
at work to stress you out.

450
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,389
I mean, in one day, you went

451
00:19:55,432 --> 00:19:57,521
from excited to
worried to reluctant.

452
00:19:57,565 --> 00:19:59,654
Honey, that's just
the three stages

453
00:19:59,697 --> 00:20:01,264
of working-with-your-wife grief.

454
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:04,876
Okay, and now,
I am at the fourth stage:

455
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,531
joyful acceptance.

456
00:20:07,575 --> 00:20:11,535
So no more wife-proofing?
No more hiding things?

457
00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:15,017
Uh-uh. Oh. I do have
one small confession.

458
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:19,369
What?I got a huge crush
on the new guy.

459
00:20:19,413 --> 00:20:22,024
Aw.

460
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,852
No, seriously, I'm glad
you were there.

461
00:20:23,895 --> 00:20:25,854
If it wasn't for you, I never
would've known about Lowell,

462
00:20:25,897 --> 00:20:27,203
and I think we helped him.

463
00:20:27,247 --> 00:20:30,206
You know, he's got a TV now.

464
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:34,515
And sometimes,
that's better than a family.

465
00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:36,343
You are very wise.

466
00:20:36,386 --> 00:20:39,781
Hmm. Like a...?

467
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:47,092
Huh?

468
00:20:48,268 --> 00:20:50,313
Like a ninja.

469
00:20:50,357 --> 00:20:52,446
Yeah.

470
00:20:52,489 --> 00:20:55,449
I made you say that...
like a ninja.

471
00:21:00,584 --> 00:21:03,544
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

472
00:21:03,587 --> 00:21:06,677
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org